Cum Town | Regular | 07/28/2016
[00:00:36] There was. I told you we were going to start and you intentionally fucked it up.
[00:00:43] You're going to start before you say you're starting.
[00:00:48] I think it's great. I think it's really professional.
[00:00:50] It's like when they do the like, yeah, ah, what if you started your podcast?
[00:00:59] What's your favorite ad lib of all time on a rap song?
[00:01:12] Recently, I've really, well, my favorite one recently, did we talk about this with the podcast where it was like the Travis Scott ad lib where it was just like it was fun.
[00:01:22] I had a party on a Sunday. I think it was fun.
[00:01:29] I like, I like Gucci Mane, a freaky girl where he's like, she's a very freaky girl.
[00:01:35] Don't take home to mama. And then the back is just mama.
[00:01:47] So that's a little, I'm sure we're forgetting some great dip set ones.
[00:01:52] Anyway, would you like to start now, Nick?
[00:01:56] Kurt Matsker couldn't do it. Kurt Matsker wanted to do it. He said Tuesday. He said, let's do Tuesday. And then I hit him up. And he's like, no, I have to work and then I have spots.
[00:02:14] We have Amber Frost of very similar to Kurt Matsker. So if you know Kurt's credit, she's the basically the same.
[00:02:21] I write about the marks in Spemineste economics. So it's like, we're colleagues basically.
[00:02:28] Well, she also doesn't like Sadie Doyle. So I also say that Sadie Doyle.
[00:02:35] Yeah, so that's really the, you know, the main similarity. But the most important one, I feel.
[00:02:43] I also pay rent to Amber. So now the guests are just whoever is in my apartment.
[00:02:49] This is in lieu of paying rent you're having around the pot.
[00:02:53] She's getting that this bump, the come town bump. Yeah.
[00:02:55] I'm sure you'll be seeing lots of patreon donations after this one.
[00:03:01] Your old landlords didn't get a lot of burn on the podcast. I think that would actually help.
[00:03:09] Well, the cat's fucking with all the gear. Yeah.
[00:03:16] You should take him to B&H and watch all of those receipts like die of anaphylactic shock.
[00:03:30] I'm good, dude. I'm about to be a foster parent and potentially a full parent.
[00:03:38] Are you going to start calling yourself a dog mom?
[00:03:50] Yeah, I'm adopting this dog from two blocks away from here on Malcolm X and Green Avenue.
[00:04:03] Why is that a fucking pertinent piece of information?
[00:04:08] It's close to where we are now and I think it's cool that it's a Brooklyn dog.
[00:04:13] It might not be a Brooklyn dog, but I got a Brooklyn dog.
[00:04:33] Tell us, tell us, tell us, tell us, stop the name of the dog.
[00:04:46] Is it a Twitter person that you bought this?
[00:04:54] It's so irony boy to have obviously a terrorist dog, but uh...
[00:05:02] I don't think you can yell that across the dog part.
[00:05:07] That's what I encountered on our first walk.
[00:05:13] The dog might take it to heart and then decide that you're a real problem.
[00:05:18] She wants to re-establish the caliphate.
[00:05:21] I got friends that they got a dog and they named it Stravon Barksdale.
[00:05:26] First of all, any kind of dog pun name or cat pun name?
[00:05:32] Avon Barksdale isn't bad, but not Stravon.
[00:05:34] Well, it was a stray dog, so it was like...
[00:05:44] And then like two weeks later, the George Zimmerman thing happened.
[00:05:51] And it's just like Black Lab Mudd or whatever.
[00:05:54] I've called something else. It doesn't know.
[00:05:56] Yeah, well, then you can't bring that dog to the dog part.
[00:05:59] If I had a dog, he'd look like Stravon.
[00:06:13] Oh, Bo. No, it has to be like as bad as Obangler.
[00:06:22] That's what my little brother calls Obama.
[00:06:27] Did you know that Michelle's middle name?
[00:06:34] You know Michelle's middle name is also Hussein Obama?
[00:06:40] Michelle Hussein Obama, what was her first name?
[00:06:51] It's having a middle name that was Hussein in all capital letters.
[00:06:54] They were cousins like the Roosevelt's.
[00:06:59] Remember Hillary Clinton said she was like, had wet dreams?
[00:07:02] Like in the 90s, everyone's like, shitting on her about it?
[00:07:12] Yeah, I don't think Hillary Clinton said.
[00:07:15] When I masturbate, I can tell you there's one thing I masturbate to.
[00:07:30] Eleanor was sucking and fucking all over town.
[00:07:46] Just one, or do you think this is better?
[00:07:51] There's a lot of people who sort of deny it.
[00:07:53] They're like, well, they could just be like really good friends.
[00:08:01] There's clearly like, I want to hold you.
[00:08:03] I want like, that's, that's some serious lesbian poetry going on.
[00:08:07] Oh, Eleanor had his, she had lesbian faces you could have, I think.
[00:08:11] If you look back, I don't remember what she looks like.
[00:08:15] Susan B. Anthony, Eleanor Roosevelt, Elizabeth Cadystand.
[00:08:22] Well, they all become, they're all like, I just think of a, I see a coin in my head.
[00:08:26] I think she looks like Sean Penn with a wig on.
[00:08:29] I think that's, that's what I would say.
[00:08:34] That's, that's what I have in my fate in my head anyway.
[00:08:36] I don't know if that's accurate at all.
[00:08:39] Well, the bottom half of his mouth is very small, Sean Penn.
[00:08:44] I feel like he's got like a small, it's like his nose and then from the bottom of his nose to his jaw.
[00:08:57] No, he looks like the guy that they would trot out for like, dare who like did chew and had to get left part of his mouth jaw.
[00:09:02] He was just like, don't do school kids.
[00:09:07] Like, did you ever see, I mean, I'm sure everyone saw, uh, Ebert before.
[00:09:23] The important thing with podcasting is you only cover a couple of things.
[00:09:32] That poor motherfucker almost had a, didn't we talk about this?
[00:09:47] She, she, she, a lot of doggy, you think?
[00:09:50] You think she's looking at him in the eye?
[00:10:10] No, it's, uh, no, it's sunny in the show.
[00:10:15] They seem to have a very mutually supportive and loving relationship.
[00:10:23] I didn't, I saw that one interview, the first like interview he did with her when they gave him, he's like, uh, like I'm trying out my new voice or whatever.
[00:10:43] I remember, I remember wanting to bring up.
[00:10:46] I remember wanting to bring up George Lucas's fucking, it's like, you know what it is?
[00:10:51] It's like, it's like 110 degrees and I can't, uh, I'm having trouble thinking.
[00:11:02] Anytime someone asked me about, or says, I'm on a group text with some friends and they keep talking about Pokemon.
[00:11:09] I'm like, guys, I'm, I'm just focusing on Black Lives Matters right now.
[00:11:15] But how did you read about the, like the Holocaust Museum?
[00:11:33] Was that a, was that a mouse reference?
[00:11:38] Meowth is the Pokemon who hoards gold coins.
[00:11:43] I thought it was a nice place to mouse.
[00:11:47] There's like, I thought he was making a literary.
[00:11:50] Although I didn't have to read that in high school.
[00:11:52] They've released like 50 new Pokemon a year since like 1995.
[00:11:56] So there's probably a fucking Pokemon now that's like, um, the Auschwitz victim.
[00:12:02] Some of them, some of them got like really crazy.
[00:12:04] You run out of like shapes and things to do.
[00:12:06] I wonder if they just start accidentally like inventing actual animals exist in like Australia.
[00:12:12] Well, one of them, I mean they did that with like the first round of them because one of
[00:12:19] But there's one that's just like a set of keys.
[00:12:22] Yeah, they're like, right out of like Pokemon.
[00:12:24] They're just like the key to the fucking thing.
[00:12:31] No, my friends mom named the, the Pokemon.
[00:12:37] No, I think we talked about it on the episode.
[00:12:45] Which in comparison now looks like it would have been fine.
[00:12:48] I think our standards at that point were so much higher.
[00:12:54] At one point, Adam didn't know what was going on.
[00:12:58] We should, yeah, we should release it, see what happens.
[00:13:04] We're going to release it as a premium.
[00:13:09] If you donate $100,000, you can be one of Stavi's Golden Angels and you get a DVD rip of that
[00:13:18] And a pair of underpants that's not worn and very hot to end your seat.
[00:13:26] A secret recording of me using all of the slurs both Dog the Bounty Hunter and Hulk Hogan
[00:13:34] In case you ever want to blackmail me, you have that.
[00:13:42] But there's one, I remember, I know there's one Pokemon that's just like a woman in black
[00:13:53] And I think that the name in Japanese is like...
[00:14:00] Whatever the character for the N word is.
[00:14:07] So the problem is like I want to talk about Pokemon Go but I've already like did all the
[00:14:20] I just want to see like someone taking a picture of like a crowd of teens at the Holocaust.
[00:14:30] And they're like, I'm not going to have a video.
[00:14:36] Well, I remember going on a field trip to the Holocaust Museum in eighth grade and like
[00:14:40] trying to make my friends laugh with like fart noises.
[00:14:43] So I don't think Pokemon goes the worst thing.
[00:14:46] Well, like this happens like every year some horrible tasteless thing happens and people
[00:14:53] And last year it was actually Auschwitz.
[00:15:08] Well, because the mist was fucking up everyone's iPhones or they were trying to play Pokemon
[00:15:12] I just love how like practical and German that is.
[00:15:17] Like they know they never thought twice.
[00:15:20] They're just like, you know, it's a really hot summer.
[00:15:25] And we want to make sure people don't overheat.
[00:15:34] Well, they had like really compact air conditioning chambers that you would get into.
[00:15:40] If that was efficient, Germany would be like, what?
[00:15:43] It's the most efficient way to keep people cool.
[00:15:47] Danny Green from the San Antonio Spurs took a selfie at the Holocaust Memorial in Germany.
[00:16:02] I think he was like trying to play tribute in his own way.
[00:16:05] No, I think he was like trying to play tribute in his own way.
[00:16:13] Nah, because that girl did it before him.
[00:16:14] There was some girl that took the same exact picture that got in trouble for him.
[00:16:19] Yeah, it was some 14 year old girl and then people online were like, you were so mad.
[00:16:25] I think the fucking girl isn't going to be an idiot as if they're like not...
[00:16:31] If they're gonna understand like, hmm, I should really be a reverent here.
[00:16:39] Well, and that's the other thing I don't understand about getting mad about the Pokemon
[00:16:43] It's like kids do shitty things and like...
[00:16:47] Like yeah, if you had Pokemon Go when you were like 13 and you're brought to the Holocaust
[00:16:55] Like Anne Frank was literally like making a diary during the actual Holocaust.
[00:16:59] Oh no, the definition of writing about in that diary was just like, I would like to touch
[00:17:12] That's the only part of the book I was.
[00:17:15] I remember us having like it getting banned at my high school and I was like, oh why?
[00:17:22] Because like you know, Holocaust is like...
[00:17:24] No, no, no, no, because it's kind of gay.
[00:17:27] Well, but really though, having a diary in those days was the same as playing Pokemon
[00:17:32] I also remember like Justin Bieber saying like she probably would have been a believer.
[00:17:42] I'm having to like come to terms with the fact that like in the last year or so, like
[00:17:47] it's at the point now where Justin Bieber could probably kick my ass.
[00:17:51] I've for years it was like boxing less.
[00:17:56] He's ripped and he's not an animal experiment.
[00:18:20] He's through broken glasses face or something.
[00:18:26] You know, because that's why Orlando Bloom had to beat the shit out of him.
[00:18:31] Because he's like, this is the one guy under me.
[00:18:38] They fought each other's girlfriends I think.
[00:18:39] Yeah, well no, there was some TMZ thing where they got into an argument at a restaurant
[00:18:43] So it's like in the background like Leonardo Caprios there and he's like cheering him on.
[00:18:49] It's like the fuck is going on Hollywood.
[00:18:51] Well, no, I heard that Leonardo Caprios just stole one of Bieber's like girls.
[00:18:56] That's nice to hear that someone can steal.
[00:19:08] That's why I know about it specifically because I was like really?
[00:19:19] Well, I love searching for that on Twitter and seeing who's mad about the pussy posse
[00:19:24] I love seeing like grown women being upset that like Leonardo DiCaprio is dating like
[00:19:34] It's like, well, you know, he basically is it.
[00:19:38] It's not as a clear definition of what...
[00:19:40] And also like, it's not like if he didn't have millions of dollars, people would still
[00:19:47] be like, you know, ogling over his bloated old-out he faced at this point.
[00:19:55] Here's how like how much money and fame he has that last year they tried to make dad
[00:20:03] So that people were getting pussy by accident because of Leonardo DiCaprio.
[00:20:11] I don't think it fucking caught on the way they thought it would.
[00:20:20] I think a lot of girls though, like suddenly were like, yeah, kind of into chunky eyes.
[00:20:31] I saw a lot of that on Tinder profiles, but my swipes did not...
[00:20:38] I've got like, like you have newborn insulin problem baby bod.
[00:20:52] Not a lot of room for the buff guys like me.
[00:21:04] Yeah, it's like worse than being a woman.
[00:21:22] Yeah, he played like football or something.
[00:21:29] Have you seen a picture of him recently?
[00:21:32] And I'm like suddenly someone putting on a safety power.
[00:21:39] And if you have a problem with that, Dave, come on the podcast.
[00:21:43] We will fight Dave Chappelle on the podcast.
[00:21:54] Who's your favorite comedian before you started doing comedy?
[00:21:57] I guess that's not fair because you started like at what, 25 or so?
[00:22:05] I mean like, my favorite comedian before I started doing comedy was Jim Brewer.
[00:22:17] I love that the guy that made the songs.
[00:22:23] Mine was Kevin Ubanks, the guitarist from...
[00:22:29] That's my favorite SNL cast member is G. Smith.
[00:22:50] Yeah, I loved Night at the Roxbury, dude.
[00:22:58] Yo, I made my dad take me to the theaters to see it.
[00:23:15] Yeah, it's almost like a funny time capsule moment.
[00:23:18] It was like in show business, there was a moment where Chris Catan was the star.
[00:23:22] Will Ferrell was just like the doofy brother.
[00:23:25] And then they have Richard Greco in the movie.
[00:23:28] And then that's the joke is supposed to be that he's not famous anymore, I think.
[00:23:33] And then like now, where's Chris Catan?
[00:23:40] I don't think that was so fucking bad that way.
[00:23:45] Let's get high and watch ridiculous six.
[00:23:49] It was Adam Sandler being like, what if we make blazing saddles, but it's not funny anymore?
[00:23:56] I guess Sandler maybe, when I was like...
[00:24:05] I like the kids that like Dennis Leary.
[00:24:14] Which, by the way, I think is a Louis bit.
[00:24:16] Yeah, it's a Louis bit that he's still right and made into his song.
[00:24:21] I think they recorded on a VCR, the Mitch Hedberg Comedy Central special and watched
[00:24:30] What does Dennis Leary do now, except pretend to be a firefight?
[00:24:38] Also starring Robert Kelly is a very good show.
[00:25:04] How much money do you think Tim Allen made off of Toy Story?
[00:25:13] So he ratted on all the other guys' Toy Story on Eddleman.
[00:25:19] They're all in jail for child pornography.
[00:25:23] Tim Allen was caught with 27 ounces of child pornography.
[00:25:31] He paid one of the animators to animate Andy.
[00:26:05] It wouldn't last a week with me, but it was a lot like...
[00:26:14] And then he came up with home improvement while in jail.
[00:26:20] I love how like Malcolm X came up with political philosophy of black liberation.
[00:26:26] Tim Allen came up with a home impression.
[00:26:28] He's like, what if there was a guy with a beard that I belittle all the time?
[00:26:36] The reason the neighbor is in there, like why he's always like...
[00:26:39] Well, you know Tim, the Thessalonians or whatever.
[00:26:42] Well, he's always like quoting philosophy or whatever.
[00:26:45] Because Tim Allen was like a philosophy major.
[00:26:50] He's like dropping all this fucking like...
[00:26:53] ... irrelevant information that you know...
[00:27:03] It's like a wink to the audience like...
[00:27:12] He loves pork rinds and then I tried pork rinds.
[00:27:15] I was like, oh, these must be the best snack ever.
[00:27:19] They suck, but they're good because they're...
[00:27:22] I mean, I eat them now because they're just...
[00:27:25] ... wide fat and that's like when I'm really at rock bottom.
[00:27:30] I eat them now because I'm incredibly depressed.
[00:27:32] Yeah, yeah, yeah, because my life's bad.
[00:27:34] But like when I was a little kid, they were gross.
[00:27:36] I just want to wear a grandfather even when he was on...
[00:27:53] Oh my God, yo, that's where the fucking name Fonyan come from.
[00:28:04] Like if you were a shirt in the pool, I would be like,
[00:28:15] I took pictures of you naked last night.
[00:28:22] It's not like a bit we're doing, but it's real.
[00:28:23] I took a bunch of naked pictures of Stav on it.
[00:28:33] We'll be playing nudity at Stavi, baby.
[00:28:34] What's the next holiday that you're going to do?
[00:28:43] Because it's the end of civilization as we know it guys.
[00:28:56] They have advertisements in the subway now for your own personal drone.
[00:29:02] It's like I'm like a minority report feel to it.
[00:29:07] I don't think most of it is surveillance, but it's...
[00:29:14] But even regardless, what kind of a dickhead neighbor are you to live in?
[00:29:21] Urban area and be like, hmm, I'm going to have something fly in these tight streets where
[00:29:26] people are walking and trying with every bit of energy they have not to murder their neighbors.
[00:29:32] I would do it if you could attach an air horn to it and use the fuck with people.
[00:29:41] The police departments have killed people with drones.
[00:29:44] Sort of like they killed the guy in Dallas with the fucking robot.
[00:29:49] You can fly in people's heads and kill them with...
[00:30:05] That they just put a bomb on and drove it up to them.
[00:30:11] But people are like, oh, well this is drone strikes.
[00:30:14] No, I don't understand how that's any different from actually being able to get it.
[00:30:19] It's not like it's a specific device designed to go fucking bomb people remotely.
[00:30:23] It was a repurposed thing for one specific event.
[00:30:26] Police departments have used bombs before.
[00:30:31] It's just a fucking Tonka truck with a bomb taped onto it.
[00:30:34] It's where there's like a remote control.
[00:30:38] I mean, I just don't understand what you were doing.
[00:30:40] It's not as ominous as something with like, you know, that could fly that has like GPS.
[00:30:44] Where did the Dallas Police Department get a fucking...
[00:30:57] They could probably just like, look for a guy not wearing a shirt that's buying a whole bunch of liquid plumber.
[00:31:07] I think they should just burn the set of fire to the building.
[00:31:12] Like when you could the sheriff get a posse together.
[00:31:25] And then he jumped out and he fucked up his leg.
[00:31:28] And then some doctor who didn't know what was going on fucking healed his leg.
[00:31:36] The like, that's what doctors have to do.
[00:31:38] He literally, that's the Hippocratic goat.
[00:31:41] My favorite thing about Booth was that he was an actor.
[00:31:47] Like the nine other people involved in that conspiracy to kill Lincoln or whatever.
[00:31:51] One of them was just legitimately retarded guy.
[00:31:54] And you know how fucking retarded you had to be to be considered like retarded.
[00:32:00] I think Kurt actually does a bit about that.
[00:32:03] Yeah, he does something about how the average IQ was like less than fucking 100 or something.
[00:32:08] Instead of me accidentally doing his best.
[00:32:10] But yeah, one of the guy was actually retarded in that like...
[00:32:14] And didn't none of them like actually kill anyone else?
[00:32:17] Like he was the only one or something like that?
[00:32:20] Yeah, I don't think they were particularly efficient conspiracy.
[00:32:23] How is it that the guy who killed the president?
[00:32:29] He was mad he didn't get cast in that play.
[00:32:32] He made it to like Southern Maryland and he was like, hold up in somebody's bar or barn.
[00:32:38] And then he read the news like a couple days later and it's like nation mourns the loss
[00:32:44] And he was like, I thought people would be happy about it.
[00:32:47] He really was like upset that people weren't like calling him a hero.
[00:32:56] That's why it wasn't a successful actor.
[00:32:58] He was your favorite assassination guy.
[00:33:00] Sir Hans, Sir Hans, Sir Hans, Sir Hans.
[00:33:03] I liked the Charlie Tibbo who did Garfield.
[00:33:20] There's a Johnny Cash song about it and I probably would not know about the assassination
[00:33:27] Or well about the shooting of the president of Garfield.
[00:33:30] He took like, he was like in the hospital for a very long time.
[00:33:40] If they just like, they were leeches on him.
[00:33:43] If they had just not done anything to his gunshot wound, he might have recovered.
[00:33:46] But they were like putting shit in it and then they like, they literally gave him a whiskey
[00:33:50] They like poured whiskey into his asshole to save him.
[00:33:55] They were in the enemas and bleeding because they're like, oh there's bad blood.
[00:34:02] It was like, how do you even become a doctor?
[00:34:12] Like Lincoln was like a country lawyer.
[00:34:15] They didn't have like, I don't think they had bar examinations.
[00:34:17] It was just, you know, you're like, well I read the book and then you could just be a
[00:34:23] It was really like a correspondence course.
[00:34:25] Like, is like the equivalent of like...
[00:34:28] I think it was more like you're an intern and then like once you've like...
[00:34:32] But I was hoping it wasn't like Arizona State or something where it was like...
[00:34:40] I just can't believe Garfield was the president.
[00:34:53] All the fucking corn subsidies went to lasagna.
[00:35:02] It's got to be a quick one because we got, we both got spots.
[00:35:09] Explosive impact is basically got me a line of videos that I'm going to be doing on basically
[00:35:18] And if you don't know who I am, I'm formerly known as Dragon Kid.
[00:35:23] And the reason why I closed that account on YouTube is because I used it as a ghost account.
[00:35:30] First, are the charges for explosive impact.
[00:35:36] I think everyone's hate in the deal with these cost suckers.
[00:35:42] And I've been hacked by at least 60 of them over the past five years ever since I've
[00:35:51] Because because of either something I said by accident, I was talking about my friends
[00:35:58] The look of an avatar I had on a website or they were just bored.
[00:36:11] I just deal with the same bullshit on a current, I still have to deal with the same cost suckers
[00:36:21] The last chat site I was ever on was freaking quite ill.
[00:36:26] And I've been hacked 35 times on that shit.
[00:36:51] Despite the fact that you don't say you can do the guilt this shit.
[00:36:58] 456 viruses at the least I just suffered because of you fucking odds.
[00:37:09] A what sick pleasure do you fucking asshads have when you decide to piss off someone or
[00:37:22] And fuck around with the cure for an account that they have on a website.
[00:37:33] And I also have the same problems you had with those.
[00:37:46] Because of some, just because of what's said in a video or something.
[00:37:52] Or something like that person said in a chat.
[00:38:00] Next door the freaking charges were exposed to the impact.
[00:38:05] I just had assembly on this exact same photo shit night and I almost vomit.
[00:38:19] I have had to leave like 50 chat sites just because of this bullshit.
[00:38:26] Because someone is trying to ruin a reputation just because I sent them to an order by the
[00:38:31] year 400,000 big cash for the 400,000 website cash for their avatar.
[00:38:38] Again referring to the chat site so I was on.
[00:38:49] Directing on other people that they do shit.
[00:38:57] And also threats to other females of death.
[00:39:15] Why would you make someone's life worse than yours online?
[00:39:21] Or try to ruin other person's reputation.
[00:39:28] You're just trying to decrease yours and also you're looking like a complete asshole.
[00:39:36] And also if I recall correctly you know the jail for 5 years jail for this bullshit.
[00:39:49] Do you have the exact same sick pleasure of doing this shit for no reason as hackers?
[00:39:57] If you do please post and I will sure as hell report your ass to the cops.
[00:40:07] I promise you anyone that admits the cyber bullying and loves to do it for pleasure.
[00:40:15] Please post on this video so I'll track your ass down.
[00:40:21] And that's all I have to say to you dickheads.
[00:40:28] For now this is Jedi and Kazama logging out for now.
[00:40:37] What were we talking about during the break?
[00:40:41] We had a bunch of great jokes that will be part of that deleted episode.
[00:40:48] Should you become one of Stavi's platinum or golden angels on Patreon?
[00:40:56] If it gets to $1000 we're buying you hormones.
[00:41:04] I checked it but I thought that was kind of like a bit.
[00:41:09] I mean I don't know how much hormones cost.
[00:41:11] Probably more than a thousand I'm guessing right.
[00:41:14] I watched the surgery of how they make a dick.
[00:41:17] Uh actually just watch the how it's made.
[00:41:20] I went to the wiki how and it was illustrated.
[00:41:28] I want to meet the person that draws them.
[00:41:31] You see the one to plan a family trip to Disneyland?
[00:41:37] There's like more horrible than any like Ralph's dead man in like art I've ever seen.
[00:41:50] It's like basically how to be a goth but it's how to be dark and it's like say sarcastic
[00:41:55] It's just like a group of people and one guy with purple hair and people aren't talking
[00:42:01] One of them is like one of them is just one of the steps is do things your own way and
[00:42:09] It's like a plus like limperous did hand.
[00:42:15] There's like clearly a euphemism like when in Indiana whenever there's like a feminine
[00:42:21] kid and like men wanted to be like not homophobic and supportive of it but maybe like couldn't
[00:42:28] accept that like their boys a little Mars Pan man they'd be like well he's really artistic.
[00:42:45] Well I guess why don't we what do you have going on?
[00:42:49] Yeah yeah you're much smarter than I ever was.
[00:42:53] Yeah I'm here I don't have a lot going on.
[00:42:57] I mean like you smack down that professor man.
[00:43:03] Well I know how invested your listeners are in Marxist feminist economics.
[00:43:15] So if you're picking up the boss room review anytime soon I have a materialist feminist
[00:43:22] theory of misogyny in response to Professor Kate Mann's recent essay about Trump and it's
[00:43:36] Yeah it's like why should I even listen to a word she has to say.
[00:43:47] She was like men hate women because of like weird resentment and that the enforcing arm
[00:43:55] of massage you you don't actually want to hear about this.
[00:43:59] You know who's the listener of our podcast Judith Butler.
[00:44:10] The president of like academic queer theory and like modern the president basically like
[00:44:20] Yeah it's you because you're fucking queer.
[00:44:24] You're a specific tone to this show and you're really fucking it up for us man.
[00:44:32] Why don't you ask me this question Nick for Christ sake.
[00:44:35] I don't know because I'm like I'm burning up my fucking brain.
[00:44:37] I like to talk about Marxist feminist human fire stone for the next 10 minutes.
[00:44:41] Yeah it's about filling that time baby.
[00:44:46] I have a I have an advice column for the baffler that's more interesting.
[00:44:55] Recently the one that's going to run tomorrow is someone asking what they should do because
[00:45:02] they think that their older friends think that they're immature but he's not really
[00:45:06] close to these friends but they're like you know maybe telling his other friends and I
[00:45:12] had to be like you're like 22 and like you don't you this is not a problem is not a problem.
[00:45:19] Like I had to be like you this this is and the gentlest way possible like this is boring
[00:45:24] and you should not care about this and it sounds immature.
[00:45:28] Yeah I was just appropriately immature for his age.
[00:45:31] He's playing Pokemon go at the Holocaust Museum if you have me.
[00:45:39] Everyone I know playing Pokemon right now is 30.
[00:45:43] Well that's that's like age appropriate.
[00:45:45] It's also the same people going to see the ghost question.
[00:45:49] I never played it but people were like mad about it.
[00:45:53] They're like why are you playing a child's game and then I was like okay well now I'm
[00:45:59] Instead of resentment for people who hate fun.
[00:46:02] Yeah that oh that's stupid to like be mad at yeah at people for playing a game.
[00:46:07] Yeah but you know what else is stupid not paying respect to the Black Lives Matter's
[00:46:13] That's what you're doing by going to see Lady Ghostbusters.
[00:46:18] You're basically saying Black Lives don't matter.
[00:46:20] I'm saying Lady Ghostbusters on Thursday.
[00:46:28] I don't think it's going to be good but I'm going to be on another podcast to talk about
[00:46:34] I'm really excited for Lady Independence Day.
[00:46:37] I think I'm sure there's women in it so they got a girl Will Smith.
[00:47:01] We all, before we said it we all locked eyes and smiled before we said Jada do it to me.
[00:47:13] I just really like being around my peers.
[00:47:17] Intellectually we'll try and slow it down for you.
[00:47:24] Yeah I mean do you want to see the Lady Ghostbusters movie with me?
[00:47:33] I'm going to invite you to it on Friday.
[00:47:35] You got to invite Scott Chaplin invited me.
[00:47:41] Well Scott Chaplin invited me and I know the people.
[00:47:42] He's going with people that are like we're going to it to have a problem with the movie.
[00:47:47] I'm trying to go into it with an open mind but it's like so clearly like pandering.
[00:47:53] Like did you guys see the BuzzFeed thing that was like 10 ways you can support Lady Ghost
[00:47:59] but now I just call it Lady Ghostbusters.
[00:48:02] And like it's like they're treating it like ghost seeing a movie.
[00:48:05] I'm not sure if it was a sponsored post or not but they're like oh this is like you know
[00:48:09] sitting at a lunch counter in Alabama in 1963.
[00:48:14] The only thing about it that bothered me is that like I first of all I thought it came
[00:48:20] No because people have been losing their shit over it and it's like this weird cultural
[00:48:24] it's like the benchmark for like what kind of a person or how do you feel.
[00:48:31] I think yeah I think a lot of that is PR shit.
[00:48:37] Some of them are losing their shit over Lady Ghostbusters.
[00:48:40] Like I don't know you mean like in the positive.
[00:48:41] Oh I thought like the bros that have a problem with it.
[00:48:46] Yeah no that's a total it's a false flag.
[00:48:51] I don't think that's like who is wrong about anything else.
[00:48:54] There's no real backlash but like there's like this kind of sort of reactionary feminist
[00:49:00] response to what is like no it's gonna be so good.
[00:49:07] Because as much as people complain about like baby boomers they didn't have to like reboot
[00:49:13] Like all it was was Sean on on that was it.
[00:49:20] They're like okay and then they just made new shit.
[00:49:24] Do you know the pets movie that just came out is the highest grossing opening for an
[00:49:32] Like something that is not an adaptation or a reaper.
[00:49:36] I guarantee you it's the same story as Toy Story.
[00:49:39] It's Toy Story with the story of a dog.
[00:49:41] Which is less imaginative than Toy Story.
[00:49:47] And they actually did it before with the little toaster movie which was an animate object.
[00:49:55] There was my there's a song in that movie called You're Worthless.
[00:49:59] It's called like Worthless where there's like trapped in like a junkyard and all these
[00:50:03] You're saying about like how they had purpose in life.
[00:50:08] I had a friend who she's Irish and like she had never seen it before and she was like
[00:50:22] Everything the Irish produces incredible.
[00:50:27] I think Irish people kind of hate Angela's ash.
[00:50:30] Like they think it's like schmaltzy crap.
[00:50:34] There was some I was looking at like Michael Manson's fucking IMDB like six years ago.
[00:50:42] Well the last thing he was in at the time was some like Irish movie where he's like he
[00:50:46] plays a boxer like he beat his best friend to death.
[00:50:54] That's like see the first scene in the movie.
[00:51:00] I my neighborhood you had to fight your way out.
[00:51:07] You ever see that documentary about that gypsy fighter?
[00:51:15] It was there was this guy that's like they have these like Irish gypsies.
[00:51:21] And there's this one dude that's just all he does is just bare knuckle fights but he like
[00:51:27] There's like a time where like a whole town was after him and he had to like beat up everyone
[00:51:33] And remember when they made that movie Liam Neeson they're like he's going to punch a
[00:51:35] wolf and then everyone saw it and he's like he doesn't actually punch a wolf in the
[00:51:41] He was yeah he thought he was going to fight wolves but I don't think he doesn't.
[00:51:46] That's what the trailer said is that in this movie I would love to see him.
[00:51:50] He makes a lot of good movies and he also has pissed his pants in public numerous times.
[00:51:56] Dept or do peas his pants all the time.
[00:52:00] If he wasn't incontinent it would be like a miracle.
[00:52:05] I don't know what's going on down there.
[00:52:10] That's your trade off as you get famous but then you just pee yourself a little bit all
[00:52:17] I feel like I'm destined for that anyway.
[00:52:20] I was saying that the other day is like I feel like all pretty I know Adam should his
[00:52:25] pants like twice in the last two years.
[00:52:30] No I mean one time in my car you shit your pants in my car.
[00:52:34] I more puked my face and your little little shit come out.
[00:52:43] A lot of my friends a lot of my adult friends have shit themselves in adulthood.
[00:52:48] I don't know anyone that's accidentally pissed themselves.
[00:52:55] The way of like piss themselves getting like drunk like passed out.
[00:53:02] I pissed in my car one time but I like was conscious enough to pull down my pants and
[00:53:09] One time my roommate in college got up in the middle of the night.
[00:53:13] Fucking pulled out his fucking pulled out his uh dresser.
[00:53:22] From my hand per and then pissed on it.
[00:53:24] I know someone who did that with the dryer.
[00:53:28] I did that all over my uh my laptop one time.
[00:53:30] I like woke up in the middle of the night.
[00:53:32] Sinky drunk and you understand there's a thing you have to lift.
[00:53:39] I started pissing on my laptop and was like oh no that's not right.
[00:53:41] And then I walked over the corner of the room and started pissing on a sewing machine.
[00:53:52] I had even totally wake up and walk over to an oscillating fan and piss in it.
[00:54:05] I left the room and I got in my car and I didn't come back.
[00:54:08] You know what I love you know I love in like airplane when somebody's like the shit's
[00:54:12] about to hit the fan and then like shit actually hits a fan and flies around.
[00:54:17] And it's like yeah like they just put everything in there that they could.
[00:54:21] Like now I'm in fucking no effort to edit or maybe like a better joke would work here.
[00:54:32] Do you remember OJ's character in the Naked Gun movies?
[00:54:37] So it's just imagining him in jail just like tripping over things.
[00:54:42] That's how he accidentally killed Nicole.
[00:54:43] That's how he accidentally killed this one.
[00:54:45] He was like holding flowers and then like some sort of series like.
[00:54:52] So Rube Goldberg's sequence of events led to the death of Nicole Brown since.
[00:55:00] The whole time that like that Looney Tunes like bump bump bump bump bump.
[00:55:09] They didn't even fucking mention Leslie Nielsen in that five part documentary series.
[00:55:15] Well that's five part documentary series.
[00:55:18] We had to have we had the show and now there's a documentary because we have to reboot OJ
[00:55:26] It's just got to have like a lot of a lot of bios on a very significant figure.
[00:55:36] When it should Serena or Venus murder her wife.
[00:55:45] If Serena killed Drake that would be that would be female OJ.
[00:56:13] I guess I think that that's expired now.
[00:56:15] I think people are back to disliking Boston.
[00:56:17] When Boston bombing happened, Boston is like as a city is like the police.
[00:56:22] Where you know like after Dallas they got a couple of days of sympathy.
[00:56:28] And so after that Boston had a little bit of it but that's not going to continue.
[00:56:31] People went back to hating Boston just like they hate the police.
[00:56:34] Every time I go there I'm like this is the most unattractive city.
[00:56:39] And I'm from like an ugly place where people are like unattractive.
[00:56:43] And like you know you move to New York and you're like people are so good looking.
[00:56:49] And I realize it's kind of like that in like most cities but like Boston has the ugliest
[00:56:57] Oh you mean like they're how they're all racist?
[00:57:03] But like also just I mean it's like the winter or something and they just become like yeah
[00:57:08] they're just beating down and they just like scowl and it becomes a part of their soul.
[00:57:11] I was blown away by how less racist the south is in the northeast when I you know moved
[00:57:21] Yeah but I mean if you even if you go outside of that and go around like Texas and the
[00:57:24] south I mean I'll perform plenty in the south.
[00:57:26] I mean I mean I assume because they're like less black people in Texas.
[00:57:32] I mean it's all like every American city is segregated.
[00:57:46] Yeah but I feel like it wasn't like that like eight nine years ago.
[00:57:50] I mean it was 75% black like 15 years ago.
[00:57:59] Well I mean like in the south it's like there's a dividing line.
[00:58:02] I mean Detroit's the same way where you have like one road where you know like I remember
[00:58:06] being in a restaurant like a block north of like eight mile road and maybe my friend
[00:58:12] went in there and they advertised like fucking Coney dogs all over Detroit.
[00:58:17] Yeah it's like yeah it's like Jim's Coney Island there's always places like Dan's Coney
[00:58:23] Well that's what I did I went in a diner after seeing it a million times I was like
[00:58:26] what the fuck is a Coney dog and I said that and these like three old white guys were like
[00:58:31] oh man you don't know what a Coney dog is like let me tell you it's got you know.
[00:58:36] Yeah I don't know about your terrible depression.
[00:58:38] Yeah he's like it's a hot dog and it's got chili on it so I was like oh so it's a chili
[00:58:43] dog he's like nah it's different it's got onions I'm like that's a chili dog so I can
[00:58:54] Well then we start talking to him and like the guy's like well right now you're in like
[00:58:58] Warren but you see that that's like eight mile road you do not want to go south of there
[00:59:02] and like we had like driven north from there and he's like it's filled with black people.
[00:59:08] In Canada they have a chain called Boston Pizza which is like the like American city
[00:59:13] that has no pizza like no signature pizza.
[00:59:22] Yeah I feel like the racism in the Northeast though it's more you know maybe it's not like
[00:59:29] holding prejudices or you know being or you know like I mean it's pretty.
[00:59:34] Holding on to stereotypes it's because it's a style here.
[00:59:37] Yeah well it is it's because you're like people are just so butted up against each
[00:59:40] other so you're more likely to hear probably racial slurs here but there's not as much of
[00:59:49] Yeah that's structural racism you see in the south which is like oh that's from when these
[00:59:59] That's the kind of racism in the south.
[01:00:02] But they'll be really kind to you know to you I guess.
[01:00:07] I'm from Indiana and it's like the south of the Midwest.
[01:00:11] Like we revived the KKK after it was gone.
[01:00:20] It's really where the lady Ghostbusters of racism.
[01:00:30] Guys you want to hear this is something I heard this weekend I walked in or two weekends
[01:00:36] ago I walked in on a room where there was a group of people doing cocaine and the first
[01:00:41] thing I heard in that room was this guy saying bro Staten Island smokes the most weed.
[01:00:54] And then I was like and then I was like oh maybe because it's like the islands you know
[01:01:07] Brad Staten Island has his own hashtag now.
[01:01:10] Yeah best value borough hashtag best value borough.
[01:01:18] It's the borough in like the white box with the black lettering that says still technically
[01:01:25] How annoying would it be to live there it would be fucking brutal right now from their
[01:01:39] Yeah everyone's either eating a sandwich or they're a firefighter.
[01:01:46] Nick and I went to Staten Island when I first moved here to see the Staten Island Yankees.
[01:02:01] I mean we didn't tell us on the podcast.
[01:02:02] No no we just we just told the feelings about this.
[01:02:06] Basically we were like the Staten Island Yankees played the single A team for the Staten Island
[01:02:12] or for the Yankees organization and basically you could just go up and sit like right up
[01:02:18] You sit in the dugout and there was a guy on the other team the Vermont River Monsters.
[01:02:24] And they're like coming up next to the the stadium announcers like a short stop.
[01:02:43] Yeah they're really funning in the what are the River Monsters.
[01:02:48] Yeah yeah yeah that's not the Burlington River Monsters.
[01:02:53] There was a there was a fucking some Staten Island dad with his like two sons and he's
[01:02:59] like harassing some guy in the bullpen.
[01:03:04] Hey can I get a ball for my fucking kid please.
[01:03:07] You know the guy ignores him and he's like yeah keep doing steroids and you fucking
[01:03:16] It sounds like right there and he's like.
[01:03:18] So important in a young child's life for moments like that.
[01:03:24] Yeah keep doing fucking steroids like he knows about that guy.
[01:03:32] He's wearing like a F.D.N. washer with a smoldering twin towers on Jesus Christ.
[01:03:43] That's the other slogan never shut up about it.
[01:03:46] Hey yeah you're listening to 9-11 podcast.
[01:03:50] Yeah we do a fucking podcast every week about 9-11.
[01:03:54] Bro I don't think you understand Staten Island smokes the most weed.
[01:04:04] No I think he was claiming that out of all five burrows that it's in our blood and I
[01:04:15] Remember that video that angry Guido who's mad at his like cousin for moving the Boston
[01:04:23] So is that like there's a guy and he's sitting in his computer and he's like on like a Skype
[01:04:27] call or he's making a YouTube video for his like cousin Nick who moved the Boston became
[01:04:33] He's just like pissed off like bro and he's got a friend in the background.
[01:04:37] He's got his shirt off and he's wearing sunglasses and he's just like flexing or whatever and
[01:04:45] It's in my fucking blood because I'm not a fucking faggot like you screaming and threatening
[01:04:55] Yep we've filled our contractually obligated amount of time.
[01:05:04] Oh I forgot to do the Anthony Kumea bit.
[01:05:06] Oh yeah guys this is why what we were trying to this one was like high concept what we
[01:05:11] want to do with this one is show you what happens if you guys tried to make a podcast.
[01:05:17] This is how it would turn out it would be complete shit.
[01:05:21] So you fucking donate the money because we're professionals and we need those track suits.
[01:05:27] Actually Adam has got Adam as some fucking benefactor that's getting us.
[01:05:32] Yeah my I have a silent angel angel investor.
[01:05:39] Yeah well we're getting those track suits I guess so I guess.
[01:05:42] We're going to do a photo shoot with my new dog Isis.
[01:05:46] Stop trying to get Isis in the mix dude.
[01:05:51] I'm not even necessarily opposed but you can't just say it on the podcast.
[01:05:55] Wait did you mention the dog on this one?
[01:06:07] All I ate today was like a bunch of chicken.
[01:06:10] I was going to eat I did got no vegetables.
[01:06:28] Normally on alpha dog podcast they're really mean to the one woman in the room.
[01:06:38] That is my favorite part about all those podcasts is the girl.
[01:06:52] How many black guys were in there this weekend.
[01:06:57] I could tell you one place black was man.
[01:07:03] She just makes like affectionately disapproving noises like her half.
[01:07:09] They had Caitlin on race wars and like her only role was to give the comment or something
[01:07:17] Like pretty much like every episode was like who's this fucking dumb bitch reading books
[01:07:24] on the show talking about books shit it was great.
[01:07:27] No well thank you for not making me the girl.
[01:07:30] Now we don't we have a no girl policy here.
[01:07:32] I mean why have we have girls on the podcast but there's no girl there's no podcast girl.
[01:07:38] Which makes it hard you know we got to have somebody to shit on and it used to be Seth.
[01:07:45] There's a disturbance in the in the force in the electromagnetic fields.
[01:07:50] Around earth but that's what I've been.
[01:07:54] The problem is that we're all bullies and if we don't have someone in the bully then
[01:07:56] it becomes very difficult to you know reconcile our own lives which makes it.
[01:08:02] It makes it harder to like talk so I mean I I'm Seth for me you take him out of the picture.
[01:08:07] This is the first one where I haven't mentioned him I think.
[01:08:12] I'm glad I could segue you into that though.
[01:08:16] Well you technically did mention Seth just now.
[01:08:33] After that I have to get more stuff like this.
[01:08:41] Yeah I just appreciate you guys for listening.
[01:08:44] You're probably not listening at this point.
[01:08:47] No I just want to see if I can get to a full hour.
[01:09:03] Alright well the final episode we did it.
[01:10:10] What do you think you read with the kids on the moon?