Cum Town | Regular | 05/24/2018
[00:00:00] on the leony yes so we'll just get right into it
[00:00:04] uh... hello when we have uh... special guest is stereos kikinos here with us
[00:00:09] uh... who requested uh... by i guess several people
[00:00:13] if you don't know he's being sued by mattox
[00:00:16] but it's a mention on the show before yeah mention on the show before i think
[00:00:20] most people who listen to show no mattaxes
[00:00:23] you know uh... if you don't he was like uh... is a picture for the alanabra
[00:00:27] you see a good one and it's great that it's going to take away i don't know
[00:00:35] feeling like great that it's a lot of you know he was more of a finesse
[00:00:38] yeah he was not a good job is to bring the chocolates to the i did bring the
[00:00:44] mattox is there's command or mattox from star trek the next generation who
[00:00:48] he's the guy that said data was star fleet's property
[00:00:54] now maybe the guy that says being data is a choice
[00:00:59] that's the wokest take i've ever heard on commander manning
[00:01:02] wait with data was the computer guy he was the andro did you fuck him
[00:01:07] yeah they did fuck him really actually i wrote a sketch when i was eighteen it's
[00:01:13] but sketch i mean it was a thing i said
[00:01:16] he wrote very graphic gay fanfiction about
[00:01:21] data getting his fucking computer but she's fucked yeah
[00:01:24] published on uh... he's doing go to but it's just a bunch of my journal
[00:01:28] just a bunch of like yes uh... microchic
[00:01:33] just that's just like christie tegan used to write like neopets fanfiction
[00:01:36] no i got that's really a little like that's where she learned to write
[00:01:42] yeah it's not fair that it's funny you're very attractive yeah
[00:01:48] that's the fucking uh... the developmental the fucking
[00:01:52] i'm really i can't think of words today
[00:01:57] it's a little bit of tea she cut her teeth in the epes community
[00:02:01] and i was even from my blood pressure is nothing but like ninety seven percent
[00:02:08] i do too but having chocolate with sugar and it's like weird
[00:02:11] yeah yeah yeah you remember how good it fucking is yeah
[00:02:14] god damn desserts are so tasty yeah i just thought with the dark chocolate
[00:02:17] though i got like horrific cystic acne all over my neck
[00:02:22] oh yeah it'll fuck you up what's dark chocolate
[00:02:24] dark chocolate that's the healthy thing yes
[00:02:27] i start every day with four bars of dark chocolate you know
[00:02:31] i'd go to her she's not your entire body is a pimple
[00:02:36] and beautiful skin thank you very much but it's all even so you can't do exactly
[00:02:40] yeah you have you have like full body acne like four inches below the surface
[00:02:45] oh yeah it's a beautiful layer of just uh...
[00:02:50] uh... just like when you know when you fucking grill a pig or you do it's like
[00:03:01] when you do a greek man when you do a fucking pig roast yeah i like a pig roast
[00:03:05] and you get that beautiful crispy skin yeah that's what my skin's like
[00:03:11] a teacher on exactly they call me teacher run skin so your key tell
[00:03:15] i'm here to you know that ladies suck i got a couple teacher on a balls if you
[00:03:24] after your fucking shift as a nurse well anyways mad excited website
[00:03:29] private to three years yeah yeah that was like funny you know uh... we were twelve
[00:03:35] yeah right especially for the time yeah yeah as a kid it was fun you go back and
[00:03:38] read it and it's still it's still funny
[00:03:41] you got a couple bangs is like so so many people apt mattox is style and it
[00:03:45] becomes diluted in the same way that like
[00:03:47] if you were to watch super bad or pineapple express now we just will be
[00:03:50] like watching a commercial it's true yeah yeah just stole you know his whole thing
[00:03:55] the mannerisms the way speaking whatever
[00:03:57] well he was like the original hot take artists yes you know like everything
[00:04:01] something's good he'll write twenty paragraphs about why it's bad right get
[00:04:05] people's clicks but it's like well now the whole world is hot takes right right
[00:04:08] now you got to disrupt yeah that's right you know you got to come into a new ice
[00:04:13] cold yeah you got to go take you know what's good fucking cookies that's my
[00:04:19] take that's a take from that yeah that's cool that's cool that's cool
[00:04:25] that's the hottest take who's Donald Trump who was this guy yeah yeah yeah
[00:04:31] I'll hate I'll buy that out yeah I got off the grid so I guess yes so
[00:04:40] Maddox was suing you for 20 million dollars yes he sued long story short
[00:04:44] whoa long story long yeah let's go you know I'll tell the story all right well
[00:04:49] come here's what happened a comedian sued another comedian for making fun of
[00:04:54] them it's really that simple Adam oh yeah I'm surprised Adam doesn't know
[00:05:00] who you consume and under what circumstances well you are a lawyer I'm
[00:05:04] just waiting to hear back from a couple lawyers and they are all dog bite
[00:05:08] specialists like Matt looks like Max's lawyer expert in dog law really in
[00:05:16] land out that rules the alcoholic dog bite lawyer like like no money down yes
[00:05:24] he's a real life better call song he absolutely is and he's from Michigan
[00:05:29] to right well yeah but he left Michigan I assume because he's not allowed to
[00:05:32] drive there anymore because they took away his life that rules yeah all of
[00:05:38] this stuff has come out about him because he's put himself in the public
[00:05:41] sphere and so you know he was one of those drivers who you know they got the
[00:05:47] straw that you got to breathe in and start the hell yeah oh and so he starts
[00:05:50] the car and it's fine but then we assume allegedly he starts drinking while
[00:05:56] driving that rocks who he started sober and but then there's a they do this
[00:06:01] thing with rolling stops and so like everyone's a while while you're driving
[00:06:06] and be like hey time to breathe into this thing just to make sure you're not so
[00:06:09] alcoholic you're drinking while driving that is incredible he's in the thing
[00:06:13] it gets flagged he makes up a thing about how he's got chronic haliotosis
[00:06:18] and so he keeps listering in the car and there's like a letter from his
[00:06:22] rank to gallons of it yeah there's a lot of breath deep down here yeah yeah
[00:06:27] throw yeah you really got to get it down there and yeah what I've learned from
[00:06:32] this experience is that anybody can be sued for anything yeah and there's
[00:06:37] nothing you can do about it the reason he sued me is we used to be friends and
[00:06:43] then he had another podcast for the guy there was a podcast breakup oh and I
[00:06:49] was like well I'm friends with you both so I'll be on both your shows like
[00:06:53] kind of like we were saying before like it's just drama yeah pockets break up
[00:06:57] over a girl yeah similar to similar to our situation I've been
[00:07:03] having my girlfriend yeah we've all isn't that right Dasha
[00:07:08] yes sorry don't talk to me that way Adam you have a very little penis
[00:07:22] I'll talk to me that way either the other double dashes oh my god that's right
[00:07:32] the three of us were all cheating that's true I have done a multiplicity type
[00:07:38] I'm the dumbest one of all because the sea rocks are back I put shoes on my hands
[00:07:45] and my feet they're retarded Dasha Fochits on you the most well she's
[00:07:53] retarded but somehow the wisest of all of the most brave eternal truth I'd also
[00:08:02] train that's the funniest part of that movie they're like how can we make this
[00:08:06] script worse oh how about one of them's retarded that's your second act
[00:08:12] complication retardation yeah classic that's what they teach you now in
[00:08:17] in Robert McKee's story seminar that's right always have someone retarded if
[00:08:23] you if there's a retarded guy in the first act by the third act he has to
[00:08:27] shit his pants so uh so someone fucked someone's bitch yeah so one of the
[00:08:40] hosts sleeps with the other ones ex-girlfriend to three years oh so it's not
[00:08:44] even like a real thing Maddox freaks the fuck out blows up the podcast and again
[00:08:51] I'm like you guys are fighting over a girl and you're both almost 40 and now
[00:08:54] they and now Maddox is like 40 or 41 so I'm like I don't care I'll be on both
[00:08:58] your shows right Maddox doesn't like it he starts spreading shit about me in LA
[00:09:02] and I'm not in LA I'm in New York to all my friends and he's sharing texts and
[00:09:06] he's talking shit so I record oh Maddox hates being called a cock that's very
[00:09:13] important is he all right what is it what is his manics I think that he is
[00:09:18] kind of the original alt-right guy because he proto proto alt right he
[00:09:23] puts out a book a long time ago in 2002 called the alphabet of man which sucked
[00:09:26] I remember that that's when I stopped liking Maddox I was like that that was
[00:09:30] so anticipated it took forever for him to publish that book and then it was like
[00:09:34] this looks like a child wrote it yes and like in the book it's like here's how
[00:09:38] to punch a woman in the vagina here's how to grab a lady's tip at the I don't
[00:09:43] think you need to read it in a book like if you really want to do it you can
[00:09:47] figure it out imagine age try it first before spending $11 and show yet a lot
[00:09:55] of huge conservative fans because while the woman beatings now they resonated
[00:10:00] yeah I don't know too much about the Internet who is gay computer programmer
[00:10:07] from Turkmenistan is but I will tell you I do like punching it would be nice to
[00:10:13] control them and to control and by this book yeah and so he releases a video
[00:10:17] where he's like I don't like to wear a cock so here's what I do I release an
[00:10:23] album of where I'm calling him cock hundreds of times yeah to the tune of
[00:10:30] various royalty free Christmas carols I found on a Christian website that are
[00:10:34] called cuckmus carols yeah it hit number six on the billboard charts which means
[00:10:41] that it is currently archived in the library of that we are all dead cuckmus
[00:10:46] carols your legacy never gonna die oh listen to it I will say the people know
[00:10:53] I put me in the library of Congress in in like Sweden or the Sudan in some
[00:11:00] small country it becomes the number seven album in the world beating a del's album
[00:11:05] not in the world in that country so it's like me and then right beneath me is
[00:11:08] the del's brand new album one that rules just for no reason yeah well not for
[00:11:14] no reason because it's very spiteful and I'm all about spite yeah like it's so
[00:11:19] the only reason I got into shape and not that I'm in shape now you look at
[00:11:23] stalker I'll take stocky that's an upgrade you look like a burly boy
[00:11:27] oh that sounds good thick with two things I'll take absolutely but because a guy
[00:11:32] from the Donald the the reddit Trump crazy website he challenged me with
[00:11:36] fight so I was like I'll fight you and then I immediately started taking boxing
[00:11:40] lessons and I was like please tell me how to fight that rules I don't know how
[00:11:43] to fight I've never fought anybody in my life I've never even got to a fight as
[00:11:45] a kid and so yeah and so I got an answer that so but it's like I would never
[00:11:51] exercise yeah if it wasn't for spite oh yeah I learned sign language out of
[00:11:55] spite wait please tell me you're serious girl broke up with me and like we're
[00:12:00] doing like a long distance thing and then she you know it was like before
[00:12:06] Christmas I was supposed to go out there she's like I still want to send you
[00:12:08] gift I'm like I don't know if I'm up for like exchanging get because I had
[00:12:12] lied and said that I had gotten her something already but I'm not gonna buy
[00:12:14] this bitch a present now right you know you know I broke up with me so but
[00:12:19] you're a deaf sister so I just like took a week and learned sign language so that
[00:12:24] I could just get on skydin be like here's a present and yeah and then he used
[00:12:29] he used a sign language to fuck her deaf sister I yes yeah yeah
[00:12:33] so you coped your ex-girlfriend no not really she wasn't impressed at all
[00:12:36] she didn't care so I kind of just wasted a bunch of time practicing sign
[00:12:42] language for two weeks now my friend who's an ASL interpreter who just taught me
[00:12:47] sign language I get pretty good at it I could just carry out conversations
[00:12:50] sign language is really easy it's still English yeah cuz you just just
[00:12:57] mannerisms and basically you're learning to do an impression of a deaf person
[00:13:01] okay it's not really like learning another line it's a voice it's a voice
[00:13:04] they can do with his hands right you know cool yeah like Italian people yeah
[00:13:09] yeah yeah yeah yeah the thing so we got cuckmus carol I'm interested in this
[00:13:14] though so you release cuckmus carol or at least cuckmus carols I recorded it it
[00:13:19] was even more spiteful so the guy releases like a shitty bonus episode on
[00:13:24] iTunes it becomes number one on iTunes comedy iTunes comedy is full of old
[00:13:30] come old albums from comedians that are dead yeah yeah like anyone releases an
[00:13:35] album that's number one on iTunes comedy for at least two days if it doesn't do
[00:13:37] it you bombed your album bombed because it takes like five downloads to get
[00:13:42] number one like Bill Angvault here's your sign yeah I watched that
[00:13:47] as a right here's your sign right damn I want to be an alcoholic when I grow up
[00:13:51] yeah and then have to quit and make a big deal out of it how I'm only drinking
[00:13:55] apple juice now but anyway and so so he's bragging about being number one
[00:14:00] comedy and so I'm like I'm gonna dethrone him and so we so in 24 hours me and my
[00:14:07] girlfriend Saransha write record edit girlfriend Saransha Saransha it's
[00:14:16] like sriracha with ranch in it yeah oh a fat boys dream yeah having sex with a
[00:14:21] condiment that's beautiful dude yeah guys are really good comedy writer she's
[00:14:29] really fucking funny I want to meet it I want to be like that I imagine growing
[00:14:34] up with that name oh it's an issue is she heavy oh no she's tiny oh like a
[00:14:39] hundred goddamn magic growing up as a fat girl your name's honey mustard yeah
[00:14:43] yeah I'm not saying that's right I just I want to start dating a girl named
[00:14:49] garlic aioli dude just call it mania yeah no I did she's European oh never my
[00:14:56] girlfriend my girlfriend I said maybe Chipotle aioli I haven't decided yeah
[00:15:01] Chipotle aioli yeah that's my that's my girl dude she sounds we'll go on a double
[00:15:06] day so you guys write an album in 24 hours right now I'm 24 hours put it out
[00:15:11] it becomes number one and I tunes this and that and so so then one day like a
[00:15:18] year later I walk I have a I have a bunch of jobs like I'm like a gig comedian
[00:15:22] like I work in advertising work to social media all step one day I want to
[00:15:26] win my job mad mad man I I met yes I'm like an unattractive man
[00:15:30] Don Draper hell yeah just as much rape well yeah you know you gotta remember
[00:15:37] when Don Draper just finger that lady just hard as shit in season one yeah and
[00:15:41] it was like control I was like the shower who was boss yeah finger like a
[00:15:45] fucking ball down like a bowling ball you know you don't ask a bowling ball
[00:15:51] just rent the shoes yeah your honor I was wearing the fuck shoes I'm sorry
[00:16:01] I'm gonna slip and slide in the 50s it was illegal to commit rape you were
[00:16:07] in turn got him shoe damn what beautiful laws this country used to have I know
[00:16:14] look what happened I know I'm Trump is making America great again oh wait no
[00:16:18] he's got that new line where he's like we're respected again oh really
[00:16:23] act America no America is respected America is respected again like he's
[00:16:27] saying that like it happened yeah no they hate us more now you know but
[00:16:33] doesn't matter so I get into work the rules a bald guy I've never met goes hey
[00:16:38] I gotta talk to you and I go me uh-huh he goes yeah so he brings me this is in
[00:16:46] the office of Sterling Cooper Draper price yeah well actually at that point
[00:16:49] he was Sterling Cooper and partner okay he's like listen I you've gone bowling a
[00:16:55] little too many I was gonna save it for lead night if your work was better we
[00:17:07] would run you're also bad you're you're rolling like 68 again
[00:17:14] we call you the strength zone you're under arrest written the lanes too much
[00:17:18] you can't rape with the bumpers yeah I'm sorry I'm still dealing with the
[00:17:27] fact he said you can't rape with the bumpers you can't rape during disco
[00:17:31] night yeah just go bowling cosmic cosmic cosmic ball I remember going to
[00:17:39] cosmic bowling one time there was like an African family next to us and like
[00:17:42] you could own like only when they smile those all hilarious light up their eyes
[00:17:49] and the teeth yeah all right so you're you've been across the bald guy bald guy
[00:17:55] go I've never met before he says I gotta talk to your second and again he
[00:17:59] serves you well no he's illegal he pulls he pulls me into into like the
[00:18:05] biggest office that I've never seen like I didn't well just did you know and
[00:18:09] again this is one of my this is one of the places I work I'm I you know I'm not
[00:18:12] gonna be specific and he goes yeah we met some guy named Maddox is suing us
[00:18:17] damn some addict sues like one of my clients he's so is me he's so is a 22
[00:18:25] year old kid in Nebraska who goes by the online name mad cucks oh my god he
[00:18:33] sues the other podcast host and he's suing us all and he's saying that we
[00:18:37] made and I have the court transcript here despicable podcast recordings
[00:18:45] recordings if you can get arrested if you can get over that we're fine
[00:18:49] you're arrested for anything but you know what I mean no you're gonna have
[00:18:53] pickable get you get you get served with something right which is what
[00:18:57] happens file a motion to dismiss you don't follow up with it you pull the
[00:19:00] cash out of your bank account you just ignore it nice the whole thing never
[00:19:04] deal with that yeah the whole time for me calling this cost me twenty four
[00:19:08] thousand dollars Jesus Christ yeah which by the way I don't have it right like
[00:19:14] it's I'm sorry it's cost discover banks new zero APR card if you guys see
[00:19:19] those commercials were like a ladies talking to a lady and they're like oh
[00:19:22] my god besties twins these besties they have lent me twenty four thousand dollars
[00:19:27] Jesus Christ really pay for yes god yes to pay for the world's best lawyer Jordan
[00:19:34] Greenberg this guy is awesome yeah it should be mandatory that the suing
[00:19:40] party pays for the every you have to countersuit to get your money yes that's
[00:19:45] why he didn't sue us in California where every other defendant except me
[00:19:50] lives he's citizen New York because New York is very pro corporate like in
[00:19:55] California if you try to restrict someone's free speech via lawsuit an anti-slap
[00:20:00] penalty to be put on you and you can be you can be charged nine times what you
[00:20:05] were suing for as a holy shit really in California but in New York it's like
[00:20:09] it's a corporate state I don't know if the people who listen to this show should
[00:20:16] wait a minute very good point you guys are all gonna get sued I mean I have a
[00:20:21] corporation so if it's pro corporate there you go that's all I need to hear I
[00:20:26] just have a dog I just started stopping baby industries yeah LLC yeah or
[00:20:31] escarpers think that's corporate I guess if I'd start one of those I do you
[00:20:34] have a trouble do you have an escarp or did you follow an 8832 I don't know I
[00:20:38] just I hit up the accountant okay whatever he probably just gave you an
[00:20:41] 8832 I don't know which lets you file as a corporation to be treated for tax
[00:20:46] reasons as one but you don't legally have a corporation no I want a corporation
[00:20:50] though boy I don't think you have one I have a name for it's not a baby
[00:20:53] enterprise is sure but you might have just had the LLC and then they file an
[00:20:57] 8832 so it gets taxed as an escort sounds a pretty good name did you do the thing
[00:21:02] where you ran a newspaper ad in the local ad and do it in the country do it in
[00:21:05] Albany yes and like a trade they do it they whatever they count does everything
[00:21:10] what you pay like 600 bucks yeah that sounds been right I was gonna sell like
[00:21:15] $800 yeah no I paid I paid total 97 Wow 97 to run the ads yeah because you do
[00:21:22] it now but oh no I mean for the whole thing not oh well I paid a guy 200 bucks
[00:21:26] to help me so 297 I guess I gotta do this we all have to talk yeah yeah yeah
[00:21:32] so okay so you doesn't so you can't get your money back even if you know I
[00:21:35] mean here's the thing I can counters you the guy which would cost 30 or 40 grand
[00:21:41] Jesus fucking and then the question is does this guy have the money right and
[00:21:45] it's like what we think is this guy sold this guy sold a show to Amazon at some
[00:21:52] point in December we think you know digital not like the good Amazon yeah
[00:21:56] you know web cartoon or whatever so we imagine you probably like 30 grand from
[00:22:00] that yeah but after taxes and then he spent some of it's you're talking about
[00:22:03] like $8,000 yeah and he probably gave all eight of that grand to the lawyer to
[00:22:07] sue us because this lawyer is not gonna sue on contingency because he wants his
[00:22:12] money it's like Sargent doesn't work on contingency he wants his money now yeah
[00:22:16] you know so it's like I don't know if there's any point in suing this guy I
[00:22:19] got you so the trial was on Wednesday oh fuck and months and months and months
[00:22:27] of like people in LA being oh the other thing that they alleged in the suit is
[00:22:34] that I was a stalker and harasser of women who are um which is like you know
[00:22:41] very funny because like they would see me coming like you know I'm a terrifying
[00:22:46] face like I have to wear these glasses like I'll show you real quick like
[00:22:49] what are the glasses yeah I mean it's like I look like a
[00:22:55] you look like a kind of Chechen a Bondville yeah spec for Central Asian yeah
[00:23:01] yeah yeah yeah like the main character from the Grand Theft Auto where like he
[00:23:05] was a war criminal yeah GTA 4 thank you yeah you do have like a Kazakh look yeah
[00:23:10] yeah well that's because you're which you're which you're Greek and which the
[00:23:13] Greek Chinese and Portuguese yeah that makes sense that's the mix you get yeah
[00:23:17] because Greeks I feel like that's what those fucking like places are is like
[00:23:22] Europeans mixed with Chinese people and you get a Kazakh and that's basically
[00:23:26] what you are staying Carl and hardcore history yeah my grandma has real Chinese
[00:23:30] looking eyes yeah well some some Europeans just have like epicantic
[00:23:34] folds for no reason like Richard gear who by the way the reason I haven't been
[00:23:38] able to make Richard gear museum t-shirts is because he's impossible to draw
[00:23:41] because he's got these fucking Chinese eyelids and really I can't draw why is
[00:23:46] it because the Mongols like raped Europeans no I think some people just
[00:23:50] look like that I think gear is actually like a Mayflower guy whoa really he's
[00:23:54] blue blooded yeah yeah yeah well my grandma is in nor grew up in north the
[00:23:58] northernmost part of Greece which is like a that's when you get into like
[00:24:01] fucked up Slav territory so that's that's the closest you can be to being a
[00:24:06] Kazakh yeah as a Greek person so anyway yeah again this is a little a Kazakh
[00:24:11] guy and I would just quote Borat at him all the time he's like actually it's not
[00:24:14] like that they see Borat I think I know like that's it was real upset about
[00:24:22] yeah you would make you would quote they don't fuck with Borat which I wasn't
[00:24:25] even really that into I mean more as funny but once he let me know that it
[00:24:29] bothered him I mean really they should really see the movie yeah before they
[00:24:36] get pissed off it's a really funny I'm upset because originally it was gonna
[00:24:40] be Albanian oh and you know that would be awesome yeah but that is there's some
[00:24:45] legal thing where they couldn't do Albania out Albanians were smarter than
[00:24:48] Kazakhs which is so embarrassing how about how about fuck to legal things you
[00:24:52] know yeah fuck law yeah yeah you know I'm saying it's fucking terrible like for
[00:24:59] I mean you know if it's if I like it then it's yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean like I
[00:25:05] like it when the Supreme Court rules for me and when not they're activist
[00:25:08] judge of course that's how it works um all right so the trial months in LA I'm
[00:25:14] like persona non-grada people aren't talking to me really
[00:25:17] Maddox is a Maddox because Maddox he was deep into UCB I met him really I met
[00:25:24] him at UCB he used to be on a house team there me and that guy did that's so
[00:25:28] embarrassing I know yeah me and a show together every month called the
[00:25:33] tournament of nerds it got bought by Nerdist uh-huh it was it was like one of
[00:25:38] the first YouTube things when YouTube started making content like paid
[00:25:41] content right and and so he's really hooked in and so what he did was he
[00:25:46] created the story where he was like these people are like abusers and
[00:25:49] stalkers of women now I read Maddox though that's so that's what's
[00:25:54] created the UCP people the cunt punching guy yes yes boys with the other guy
[00:26:02] the who would tucker Max like yeah those guys yes the same you know what I mean
[00:26:05] like they were friends that era of the internet you know yeah well they're in
[00:26:09] the same tire web ring whatever web rings yes of course I remember web
[00:26:13] rings yeah Sequest web ring of course I remember the Sequest web ring
[00:26:17] Darwin 865 Tom L. Doc of course I remember the funniest of all of those on the
[00:26:22] Maddox like best page and you remember Tard blog no I love it but I've never
[00:26:27] heard of it hard blog was a special education teacher that had like an
[00:26:30] anonymous blog with a recording about this yeah they took like the reader
[00:26:36] mail there's one story somebody told that they had a big retard in their
[00:26:39] class and some police officers came here like they did a thing on like sexual
[00:26:44] assault or whatever you know like stranger danger kind of thing and they
[00:26:47] watched this video and the video ends they go any questions and the big
[00:26:50] retarded kid goes next door Jimmy made me suck his dick
[00:26:55] they're like drag him out with police officers the doctor
[00:26:58] the kid next door Jimmy make him suck his day yeah it turns out next door
[00:27:04] Jimmy was another retarded kid whoa the perfect
[00:27:07] property yeah that's just going bowling
[00:27:11] right that is just pulling with the rack that you roll the ball that's
[00:27:19] pulling with bumpers that's a bumper bowling
[00:27:25] yeah hard blog I remember I I found like Jim Gaffigan's like a well and some
[00:27:31] messenger because he had his a a well email address so I added him on aim
[00:27:36] and then he like signed in one time and I was a huge fan of Jim Gaffigan and I
[00:27:40] was like 11 or yeah so I was like hey I'm big fan or whatever he's like oh thanks
[00:27:44] or whatever I don't even know if he knew what aim was I just popped up on his
[00:27:48] computer yeah and then I was like check this out it's really funny I said
[00:27:53] our next door Jimmy story and he was like I swear got he wrote back I'm not
[00:28:01] you gotta tell me you gotta stand sometimes yeah that whole hot pockets
[00:28:10] thing is based on next door Jimmy yeah his mouth was a hot
[00:28:13] guy's dead whoa Nick Nick yeah you've affected the course of comedy history
[00:28:19] with it you know who knows maybe I'm not offended but I have to go that's so
[00:28:26] polite because Gaffigan used to work in advertising so he knows how to be
[00:28:31] political and give notes yeah yeah why have to be nice to people now there's
[00:28:35] some guy that just DMS me videos of actual retarded people he sees around
[00:28:39] oh no he was like just say he's like you record don't do that this guy bag and
[00:28:44] groceries at his grocery store he's like you got to see this I'm like I've seen
[00:28:48] retarded yeah yeah wait how much is it giving you on page ran hopefully like
[00:28:54] a 20-hour guy that's that I'll say that's hilarious that's a whale that's a
[00:28:59] zero dollar hundred percent zero dollar dollar then I steal screen cap it put it
[00:29:05] on HuffPost and make some hay yeah he stands up to bullying did your company
[00:29:09] offer like legal aid at all you know what I've already and again they're not
[00:29:15] my company they're a company I got a million clients like like I but here's
[00:29:19] what happens on a Wednesday so we get called in a court right yes it's a trial
[00:29:24] and I'm sorry one more thing so I'm being accused of like all this anti-feminist
[00:29:28] shit then during the trial we discover that what does that matter I don't
[00:29:32] understand why that how that has any bearing on the fucking wall sewing is
[00:29:35] good a matter but it does because the thing is like if you are accused of
[00:29:40] something terrible now it's on you like the and I'm not saying this to be like
[00:29:45] some sort of like mad like me choose gone too far thing it's like no terrible
[00:29:49] shit happens to women and I'm glad women have banded together and put an end to
[00:29:52] it because it's disgusting I worked in LA for 10 years it's disgusting um
[00:29:57] but like here's the here's the ironic thing so we're being sued by plaintiffs
[00:30:03] not but I mean women with no you know they should have the ability to vote and
[00:30:06] like you should vote like PBA PBA pro tour so one of the plaintiffs it turns out
[00:30:17] has a restraining order against her for stalking and harassing another woman
[00:30:21] whoa so the two people suing us it's Maddox and his girlfriend Maddox's
[00:30:25] girlfriend has a restraining order against her girlfriend honey mustard
[00:30:28] real name by the way 480 pounds no his girlfriend is a fucking model and and
[00:30:35] so she was contacting the other podcast hosts
[00:30:41] girlfriend's school and saying it was writing anonymous stuff I got all the
[00:30:46] emails here I can show you guys later but was saying like this girl's dangerous
[00:30:49] this girl shouldn't be around kids this girl's a danger to kids so so of course
[00:30:55] the people that are accusing us of being anti-feminist doctors and abusers
[00:30:58] themselves have a restraining order against them served by the Los Angeles
[00:31:02] A&A for doing the shit they're accusing us of so finally Wednesday we all get
[00:31:09] into court and the judge is like this is absurd the judge threatens to throw
[00:31:15] land down manics lawyers the dog lawyer the dog by lawyer threatens to throw him
[00:31:21] in cuffs in prison and the transcript is all available that rule at
[00:31:28] com slash yes buy it because I need the money yes to pay for this bullshit it's
[00:31:33] a 60 page transcript in every page is gold like the lawyer is saying well you
[00:31:39] know the the bad guy lawyer saying like well this cut Miss Carols wasn't in the
[00:31:42] spirit of good fun if it were in the spirit of good fun it would be one thing
[00:31:45] in the judge goes oh no free speech doesn't have to be in the spirit of good
[00:31:48] fun I assure you what they say on SNL about Donald Trump is not in good fun
[00:31:52] hilarious let me let me ask you this so and we got to take a break in a second
[00:31:57] yeah but obviously was for peace of mind that you hired a lawyer yeah because if
[00:32:03] I were sued with something like this with something that's obviously just a
[00:32:07] bullshit lawsuit I would just wait till the trial and assume that a judge would
[00:32:10] throw it out immediately mm-hmm so I mean that you just got the lawyer because
[00:32:14] you wanted to make sure that you wouldn't lose any money to Maddox or well the
[00:32:19] first thing they did was file for a default motion 10 days earlier something
[00:32:24] yeah there's a thing I get served when when you get served you have like 30
[00:32:29] days respond yeah like way before that limit they file a default motion say he
[00:32:36] hasn't responded therefore we want the clerk not the judge to award us 20
[00:32:41] million dollars stop him from ever mentioning the name Maddox ever again on
[00:32:47] any recorded medium in history yeah they're looking for injunctive relief
[00:32:51] restricting my free speech so if I didn't do anything the clerk would have
[00:32:56] rubber stamped it yeah and I would have had a 20 million dollar lean put against
[00:33:00] me what really yes I we like to think that that like there's justice and that
[00:33:08] everything will work out and unfortunately you only get the justice you can afford
[00:33:12] in New York in California I think things would have been a lot different it's
[00:33:16] why they sue us in New York was a tactical move um so the judge is saying
[00:33:22] like but you could you could have done something to like did not or did you
[00:33:26] couldn't you just responded so that they couldn't have just defaulted you well I
[00:33:29] talked to 15 different lawyers before going with my guy Jordan Greenberg who
[00:33:35] was the goddamn best I was getting quotes 50 grand 75 grand a good lawyer yeah
[00:33:40] yeah yeah something about your accountant you know that kind of thing I
[00:33:44] vote in love executive television network he's the this guy's the goddamn best he's
[00:33:49] so goddamn funny he's hiding secret hidden messages like there's an
[00:33:53] acrostic you know that thing we're like the first letter of every line on a
[00:33:58] page spells out something like George Washington's that he spells cock
[00:34:01] mister all suit cock miss carols like he's putting in hidden he's put he's
[00:34:07] saying like this lawyer land always like a dog without a bone like he's just
[00:34:12] barking at us in part these are barking sanctions motion back to the fact he's
[00:34:16] a dog bite lawyer right like he's putting in all these dog jokes like my
[00:34:20] lawyer is like filling this thing with gags it's so goddamn great and yeah the
[00:34:25] judge says you know the judge goes his halfway through the trial some guy
[00:34:30] covered in dogs comes in he's like where's my money
[00:34:40] one of those pet exude he's got nine dogs on where's my god damn money land
[00:34:44] out I've had these cookies only nine weeks
[00:34:49] they're adorable sure but still where's my money all right real quick we got a
[00:34:54] talk that lawsuit sounds like a real gamble and if you like gambling folks
[00:34:59] check out bet dsi dot com it's the number one sports betting website on the
[00:35:04] internet they've been in business for over 20 years paying winners they got an
[00:35:07] easy to use mobile interface interface interface that's the word play when get
[00:35:13] paid they offer odds on pretty much everything else aside from sports if
[00:35:18] you're gay you know you don't have to bet on sports you could you spent on
[00:35:25] vendor pump rules that's a you know show who's gonna who's gonna drink wine
[00:35:31] yeah I guess they offer live in-game wagering so you can make plays throughout
[00:35:37] the entire game or event and they this makes watching sports way more fun so
[00:35:43] if you're tired of forcing yourself to watch sports because they're boring
[00:35:46] tedious you still have the same insecurity issues you did for middle
[00:35:50] school you can definitely make it way more fun by blowing the money you don't
[00:35:55] have on bet dsi dot com the upcoming sports events we got the NBA mothers
[00:36:01] yes and these are actual let them know these actual bets you've placed on
[00:36:05] bet dsi dot correct yes sure that you emphasize that point because that's
[00:36:10] what actually happened this 100% actually happened and for tonight this will
[00:36:15] probably go up right away I am taking the mother right now the last time I
[00:36:19] checked the line the Celtics were underdogs at home game 5 1.1
[00:36:23] crazy so take the Celtics 100% they're gonna win it just feels like they're
[00:36:28] gonna go are they serious gonna go seven the playoffs at home or they may be
[00:36:32] lost one no I think they're undefeated at home in the playoffs the almost lost
[00:36:35] facility but they're completely different team and they're gonna have our
[00:36:38] friend of the show Donnie wallberg in the front row wearing a wall burgers hat
[00:36:41] that's right that's good so in a tight-ass jersey it's gonna bring them the
[00:36:46] so take the Celtics I'm taking them and we're gonna make some money together
[00:36:49] boys yeah I'm all burger the one that got murdered in the sixth sense yes yes
[00:36:56] okay wait doesn't get murdered he kills himself yeah that will his ghost show
[00:37:00] you're right you're right I apologize I'm sorry I'm sorry daddy yeah he's
[00:37:04] listening he's listening yeah his ghost doesn't show up he's the crazy guy in
[00:37:08] the beginning that shoots Bruce Willis oh that's right yeah and then Bruce
[00:37:12] the patient that he couldn't yeah then Bruce Willis is the ghost yep you bet on
[00:37:16] that you can bet on that whether Bruce Wilbur brother is the best yeah yeah
[00:37:21] so go ahead go to bet the SI calm and use promo code comtown that's or sorry
[00:37:27] com 25 capital capital C lark is you am 25 you get a free $25 wager on the house
[00:37:34] and 200% extra bonus when you deposit that's come 25 capital C lark is you
[00:37:40] am 25 you're your free wager and start winning today also the Kentucky Derby
[00:37:45] mm-hmm no no the pre-kness the pre-kness just happened that's I feel like if
[00:37:51] you're gambling the Belmont stakes come out mocks is the next one pre-kness is
[00:37:55] the one in Maryland yeah sucks I just had a pre-kness just happened yeah long
[00:38:00] time ago I bet on or because I was like that's the best name I've ever heard or
[00:38:03] is that for horse yeah and or one like the Kentucky Derby one year now is like
[00:38:07] yes or but love it so bet on the funniest yes on bed DSI yeah yeah I'm
[00:38:12] that do it on bet it crazy stare is there on bet the SI he didn't even know
[00:38:16] yeah isn't that right that's where I got that action could have been easier I got
[00:38:20] my payout right away and the customer service was fantastic right hell yeah
[00:38:24] brother perfect hammerback and we're back motherfuckers yeah so the judge
[00:38:32] hates him yeah yeah judge threatens to so the Maddox there no so it's the case
[00:38:37] dismiss there is it going to be dismissed or the case with um so here's how it
[00:38:42] ended the judge said this complaint makes no sense I can't tell what crimes you
[00:38:50] are alleging mr. Coconos has been accused of and the reason it makes no sense is
[00:38:54] because what this lawyer did was he found a bunch of angry fan comments
[00:38:58] call Max a cock and call him this and that he put them all in the complaint and
[00:39:02] then he attributed it to the defendants with the other podcast host he treats a
[00:39:07] lot of what that guy says to the defendants and the judge keep saying
[00:39:11] you keep saying defendants defendants I want to know what mr. Coconos is accused
[00:39:15] of landouts there with like a 14 year old boy paralegal looks like the goddamn
[00:39:20] hate master and this little fucking like Kevin McAlister looking kid is running
[00:39:25] over and pointing at things like say this say this say this landouts lost
[00:39:28] landouts reading his own complaint and can't find like a single thing that is
[00:39:33] alleged to that I've said that has been to fan or that broke trade laws or was
[00:39:39] stalking and harassing yeah so the judge says you got to rewrite this whole
[00:39:43] complaint and we're all gonna meet back up here and we're gonna deal with this
[00:39:48] again damn so the case was dismissed for everybody else because everybody else
[00:39:52] was in fucking LA so like it was dismissed on jurisdictional grounds for
[00:39:56] them but I'm in New York and so that sucks so it's you know what shit happens in
[00:40:03] comedy in 2018 like everybody's that's wild though dude everybody's gonna cost
[00:40:08] you 30 grand basically for nothing that's what it's going to end up costing right
[00:40:12] now it's a 24 grand we got to go back in there my lawyers got to prepare for a
[00:40:16] couple hours got a right new thing he's good we're gonna be in there for a
[00:40:19] couple hours we got we gotta wrap it up at the end now you can write all that
[00:40:22] off on your taxes so you get it all back I have no idea I don't know I hope I
[00:40:27] can but but I don't know how that works yeah I actually that's that's my whole
[00:40:33] thing is I'm mister I'm mister don't pay taxes I pay all my taxes to CPA
[00:40:41] this call mister don't pay taxes immediately by you just roll up he's
[00:40:49] getting arrested yeah great name though mister don't be a tax that's good
[00:40:56] branding I got a paid estimated like two weeks and it's gonna have to it's gonna
[00:41:00] be probably around thirty thousand dollars God no you're a hundred and
[00:41:03] twenty thousand dollars a year more than that good man yeah he's got guns are
[00:41:08] you single I don't have guns you hold on you mean arms guys got nice
[00:41:12] stairs trying to suck yeah I was like I don't have a head over my god on the
[00:41:17] web I did that web I have a firearm of my apartment I hate to say this but
[00:41:24] unfortunately I got to get back to Manhattan I'm gonna work oh yeah thanks
[00:41:29] for coming thanks for this is great buddy I love to give a plug if you guys want
[00:41:33] to help out with my legal defense and if you want to read the transcript and it
[00:41:37] is just full of an 80 year old New York judge screaming at a dog bite lawyer
[00:41:43] like about the word cock oh and then the lawyers like here's what he said
[00:41:48] cock cock cock cock cock maddox is a cock he's reading lyrics from cock miss
[00:41:52] carols and the judges like so what it's like calling him a jerk yeah and land
[00:41:57] out goes no no no what you're saying is you're threatening the very foundation
[00:42:01] of his manhood so now manics who doesn't want to be called the cock and
[00:42:06] suited I'm not to be called the cock forever in the New York State Supreme
[00:42:10] Court there is a document of a judge calling him a cock a lot forever and
[00:42:17] there's an album in the Library of Congress called cock miss carols where
[00:42:21] he's being called the cock and I'm also calling him a cock right now you fucking
[00:42:24] cock damn day because I wouldn't get the impression that he's a stupid guy
[00:42:30] he's emotional right like because because the thing is it's like hey if
[00:42:38] you don't want to be called a cock on the internet you probably shouldn't talk
[00:42:41] about it right because whatever you say on the internet that you don't want to
[00:42:45] be called that's where it's why I asked people not to call me big dick
[00:42:47] coconuts like um and it's the so but the thing is when this dude slept with his
[00:42:56] ex he had a huge emotional reaction yeah and then he justifies it with logic
[00:43:01] later he's like well no it's not about sleeping with my ex it's about trust if
[00:43:05] you ask me about it in a way exactly and then with this thing with cuck was
[00:43:09] carols he's saying like well I'm being harassed and stalked and it's like it's
[00:43:12] not about that you don't like being called the cock yeah as an emotional
[00:43:16] reaction and he finds a lawyer who will express his emotion in a logical format
[00:43:21] unfortunately for him the lawyer did in the most illogical way possible sure
[00:43:24] and uh that's how that guy wrote is land out wearing it court yesterday land
[00:43:29] out was wearing a jacket that was too big and pants that were too small just
[00:43:34] like that's a good one from Thomas and friends yeah but he looks like Robbie
[00:43:39] rotten from uh there's that there's the show uh busy town yeah I think Robbie
[00:43:47] rotten and schemer from Thomas and friends are very similar references I
[00:43:51] completely I don't know either of these I don't know I'm a skimmer I know
[00:43:54] because he looks just like Ben O'Brien schemer oh right yes you show me that
[00:43:59] I have the same exact thing so it's pretty weird
[00:44:02] was keeping one of those troublesome diesels yes no no he's a guy he's a guy
[00:44:06] that was just in the station for some reason got it Thomas and friends would
[00:44:10] jump from the station is that Thomas the tank engines yeah okay they have a live
[00:44:14] action portion of the show I know that guy with Ringo star with Ringo star
[00:44:18] and then George Carlin right that's so weird yeah and then the movie Alec Baldwin
[00:44:23] really yeah as boys mr. Conductor right I believe so yes yeah yeah um he's
[00:44:29] just yelling at the trains like his fucking daughter he's calling him fat
[00:44:32] pigs you spoil a little pig isn't it me you fuck you fuck sucking train
[00:44:37] Jennifer you've got to let me quit 30 rocks so I can go scream at my train
[00:44:41] daughter you know what your contract I put that caboose down
[00:44:47] closes and his daughter's hot now is she haley Baldwin if you got money she's
[00:44:52] like yeah she's on a show with yeah it's a whole battle for a little show yeah we
[00:44:57] don't want to hang you up you got if you got a dip look there's there's pot
[00:45:01] there's dogs I would hang out here all day yeah we're gonna get lunch afterwards
[00:45:05] but thank you guys so much for having me come back again come back again
[00:45:09] do the live show some time absolutely yeah great to meet you buddy
[00:45:13] as stereo most to twitch bud here is you know signing off yeah check out
[00:45:19] patreon.com slash is stereo scene go ahead and help them out with that lawsuit
[00:45:23] yeah it's bullshit yeah and you left some comic books to serious yeah yeah
[00:45:27] you want if you want to plug those yeah oh no definitely I got a book on Amazon
[00:45:31] called toys for cheap it's a fake catalog of dangerous and insane toys
[00:45:36] like tickle me elmer Leonard or Thomas the tank who's all grown up and now he's
[00:45:43] trying to murder Percy let me see what other what are the gags in this but I
[00:45:46] haven't pitched this book in years the lana del ray gun which turns your voice
[00:45:50] and was smoking depressing mess oh the dasha gun yeah you love oh I thought
[00:45:55] that was the gun that makes you harass people on Twitter and pretend to be
[00:45:58] trans we've got oh yeah take that dsa take that you've
[00:46:03] yeah scam artist since some some type of south asian
[00:46:08] this is scam oh yeah we got a john candy land the game that benefited most from
[00:46:14] the death of john belushi we got a lot of great toys to find it on amazon the
[00:46:20] word toys the number for the worksheet and keep these comics it's really nice
[00:46:23] you guys to have me on oh yeah come back yeah all right later buddy yeah I
[00:46:29] guess we got to move on to the other topic for the show the death of
[00:46:33] philip roth huge ladies gentlemen yeah literary titan passing away a giant
[00:46:38] letters before us a giant of words and books
[00:46:46] this thing then beyond it morning the passing of philip roth a giant of books
[00:46:50] giant of pen and legislation a pen and book a man of page and and by will
[00:47:00] the glue that holds a book hardcover literary giant paper and ink and
[00:47:07] paper at a minute size i've always your favorite fat juicy eight inches
[00:47:12] nine and a half inches and of of engorged lettuce hard hard-ass hard big-ass
[00:47:21] dicks he's right with his dick that was a that was a thing he's horny shit isn't
[00:47:27] that i don't know i don't think i've ever told me both me and stop both me and
[00:47:31] stuff have read all of phil or me and adam have read all of philip roth a
[00:47:34] stop you know he wasn't so your favorite philip roth quote before the show was
[00:47:37] that again it was uh when the when the when the when the tits get a splittin
[00:47:43] the cock gets a sport board noise complaint the port that complain is oh
[00:47:47] this pussy's still dry i didn't know pussy anywhere uh it's all about
[00:47:53] complaining some some new work gash that's what i'm talking about the the
[00:47:57] president of borsel's i'm trying to get my dick is not the important
[00:48:00] oh he's complaining LeBron's traveling that's the complete that i respect the
[00:48:07] brady i'm gonna get my cock sucked in a glove
[00:48:09] factor yeah that sounds cool is that what that
[00:48:12] book's about uh sort of yeah i'll read that book no it's about a
[00:48:16] a jewish guy that learns past joys of masturbation really
[00:48:20] new york city yeah but a guy that beats off and then jews were very upset when it
[00:48:25] came out they said it was anti-semitic and the adl
[00:48:27] got mad at him maybe i'm back in that's what does the adl do
[00:48:31] they just come if they ask the anti-defamation leak and all they do is
[00:48:35] just complain when they're slightly offended about something jewish they
[00:48:39] don't really defend anything else other than jews
[00:48:42] being being in a tiff we would like to file a complaint against the song
[00:48:50] why is the song not about israeli anytime let's let's take a look at how many
[00:48:56] songs billy joe is written about israel zero
[00:48:59] to date four songs about long island one song about allentown zero about israel
[00:49:04] that's anti-semitism long island is technically that's anti-semitism
[00:49:08] uh you're anti-semitic for saying thank you so nothing is like anything
[00:49:12] any kind of analogy whatsoever is anti-semit
[00:49:15] yeah there's this guy uh they're their old head was this guy
[00:49:18] aid foxman who is just this old yeah the biggest fattest
[00:49:21] just this old high-be yeah we did worse for the
[00:49:26] the public image of jewish people yeah it was just humiliated single-handedly
[00:49:29] just destroyed what was his name was anti-semitism
[00:49:33] abeb foxman yeah i'm just i'm just picking five
[00:49:37] which looks like a big cinnabon yes yeah
[00:49:41] yeah he's a sounds delicious he's a fat um abeb foxman
[00:49:45] foxman yeah take that you gonna be offended yeah
[00:49:48] much i got some to fame this dick uh no but philip broth actually i was
[00:49:53] really i loved him so yeah it's his books so me too yeah
[00:49:58] he's a big fan yeah i'll give it a world especially i read it at like you know
[00:50:02] fifteen like i was at the stand trying i was like wow philip brothon people
[00:50:06] like whoa whoa look who reads books all right never mind
[00:50:09] yeah he's like a celebrity i don't get it yeah
[00:50:14] my friend uh jona you guys know jona is that he grew up in
[00:50:18] new york city and his dad just have lunch once a month with this guy phil
[00:50:22] uncle phil and he learned at like 24 that it was philip broth that's
[00:50:26] crazy and he didn't know who it was uncle phil from press prince yeah yeah it
[00:50:29] was the uncle proprash man uh it was a gay black man black man jona who's the
[00:50:35] dj and funny mom's mmm yeah biggest kind of thing for
[00:50:43] guitar guitarist mmm nice yeah there's a they made a
[00:50:48] film adaptation of uh american pastor and porta's complaint oh really i
[00:50:52] don't know that the american pastor one's supposed to be like a real piece of
[00:50:55] shit what american pastor yeah yeah it's amazing great
[00:50:58] boy yeah it's so good yeah yeah i got a chimp all these out man
[00:51:02] yeah it's part of like yeah it's part of like a trilogy but i've
[00:51:07] i've only read that one yeah i never read a human stain or whatever the third
[00:51:10] i think it doesn't refly club yeah that's just pretty fucked up
[00:51:14] bread breadies senelis maybe yeah classic book
[00:51:18] dies dude i'm gonna be so sad i'm gonna yeah with chuk p
[00:51:21] fucking fix the bucket yeah i got i got a new idea i got a new idea for a
[00:51:26] novel right it's about a guy that goes around saying the
[00:51:28] n-word the black guys until they beat the shit out
[00:51:31] he's doing it for the insurance but it's actually about uh
[00:51:36] capital what was that short story he he wrote about like uh
[00:51:40] getting a pool jet to blow water up your ass and people were like this is the
[00:51:44] most disgusting short story ever i think it was called like the jacuzzi
[00:51:48] fluency the jacuzzi some like that they're like yeah palinix
[00:51:52] read this at readings and people have passed out
[00:51:54] oh i'm like that's not true yeah people have thrown up but they've heard
[00:51:58] you know what i apparently uh everyone i like juneo dia's but apparently he's a
[00:52:03] rapist now too no he like a fed lady at a party
[00:52:07] yeah i'd like that book oscar wah huh oscar wah
[00:52:12] it's funny dude he's a good writer um yeah it's it was a but he's a rapist
[00:52:16] dude i don't think he rapes i think that he
[00:52:20] said something that someone said was sexist at a party or something i think
[00:52:24] it was i think it's people were saying he was like an
[00:52:26] abusive relationship or something i don't know what about philip roth you think
[00:52:29] he rained philip roth was uh misogynist one thousand percent oh yeah
[00:52:33] unapologetic yeah but a fantastic writer i don't think he
[00:52:38] was important american yeah yeah yeah people are gonna be there's that whole
[00:52:41] ds there's that whole generation of like maybe you will not me i would
[00:52:45] really insist on forgetting norman mayler shot his wife
[00:52:49] what yeah there's a whole generation of like what the fuck
[00:52:52] the great american writers were all fucking massaged oh i thought he shot
[00:52:56] philip roth's one no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
[00:53:02] never see made stone stabders stabders yeah what
[00:53:04] ever see made stone no it's not good it's actually
[00:53:08] it's so incredibly fucking bad it's funny really
[00:53:12] yeah what's it what's it what's it's like i'm a movie that that uh uh
[00:53:15] mayo or tried to make it's the one where we're ripped horn like uh
[00:53:19] fucking they're getting that fight that tom green and ripped horn i think
[00:53:23] that's pretty good finger yeah that's pretty good that's what i was talking
[00:53:26] about no no daddy would you like some sort of
[00:53:29] valor ripped horn get into fist fight on the set and it was just left it in the
[00:53:32] movie oh really that rules there i mean they're
[00:53:35] like going at it but like that fight where you know it's two people don't
[00:53:39] know how to fight so they're like pulling each other's hair and they're
[00:53:44] on really awkward yeah just like swacking each other
[00:53:47] that's entire yeah damn that's fucked up i fuck with uh
[00:53:53] rip-torn though yeah me too dude already already
[00:53:57] already in fucking always had those ferns looking right
[00:53:59] mm-hmm one thing i like it's getting fucked in my ass
[00:54:04] why don't you bring that cock over ass torn
[00:54:06] there's my rip torn and rip ass torn that's my that's my thing it's a
[00:54:13] thing i enjoy there's nothing i enjoy more than getting drunk and getting
[00:54:24] the only reason i drink and drive is so i can go to jail and be raped
[00:54:37] what do you guys want to get some lunch after this i don't know i was gonna see if i could
[00:54:40] do more i get to get that car fixed so you can hurt me i'm pretty hungies i want to i want to
[00:54:45] you try to do the 12 favors yeah i'm trying to do it like you
[00:54:51] it's like a video game do you get unlock it dude yeah there was a sega genesis
[00:54:55] game called like shove it or something where you just work as a
[00:54:58] guy in a box factory and you like push boxes around
[00:55:02] and the cover is a guy pushing a box and he's like daydreaming about hot
[00:55:06] women in a car like a Ferrari and a bunch of cash
[00:55:10] that's a video game you play yeah on your time off
[00:55:13] yeah look it up it's i think it's called shove it i think i would definitely like
[00:55:18] push it make playing like a politeness simulator
[00:55:20] yeah dating sims i definitely remember trying those
[00:55:25] with like a flash editing sims flash animation like uh yeah like you
[00:55:30] have to like try to fuck an anime girl but i don't know oh yeah yeah i've played those
[00:55:33] there was that game leisure suit Larry which we talked about you've talked about
[00:55:37] you brought it up a million times yeah it's shove it it's so it's shove it the warehouse game
[00:55:41] look at this shit it's hilarious yeah yeah
[00:55:44] yeah that was a box of a Ferrari and a car that was dreaming
[00:55:50] dream that daydream is taking up a lot of the cover that's a big guy looks like me
[00:55:54] yeah he is ugly no he's handsome yeah he is ugly he wears backwards baseball caps like i do
[00:56:00] he's wearing a bra because i will never forget the 1990s unless any of you fucking dumbass
[00:56:04] 18 year olds listening to show forget we are grown man that's right dude we remember
[00:56:08] 19 we're 29 year old man we listen to dune doctors spin doctors two princes you know
[00:56:15] gallimitri yeah oh yeah oh yeah they kind of shit that's on all that bizarre some fucked up
[00:56:22] whistle some fucked up greek music my dad will play in his car uh deep blue something
[00:56:28] uh there's a there's just one greek something it's actually like a huge he has a 90s playlist
[00:56:32] we listen to in the car massive 90s he's like he's really uh know some deep cuts
[00:56:38] dude you put that uh you put that uh savage garden i want you on that yeah that's a fucking what about
[00:56:44] that song yeah dude great song that's what we're like uh cherry cherry cherry cool yeah yeah
[00:56:55] so kazooka penis what about uh the greek song it's like bamaste kabriole bamaste
[00:57:09] that means uh we're both married but please return i beg you uh it's a song about two people
[00:57:16] cheating on each other so with each other the warehouse game which actually in hindsight was
[00:57:22] maybe my dad gave him clues that he was gonna cheat on my mom he used to blast that song in the car
[00:57:28] i can't wait about cheating on your wife i see that dude i did this girl and i had to sing where
[00:57:32] i would like just sort of sing things that i meant you know so we just be sitting there again
[00:57:39] yeah i try to be like you are a dumb bitch and i hope you die you think i don't know you're a
[00:57:47] complete son he's just be sitting there should be like using your computer it's very therapeutic
[00:57:54] you should try that shit man wow i'm really kind of person it's just very resentful and you hate
[00:57:58] anyone yeah yeah you should try that check it instead of just like airing your feelings check it out
[00:58:03] now first of all never air your feelings in relationship no what a destroyer relationship
[00:58:08] talk about your fucking feelings push it down yeah professor maulin dude doctor maulin what are you
[00:58:15] insane talking about your feelings no that's stupid dude you go to the gym you fucking lift
[00:58:23] wait baby did you guys read that uh no shout out to whoever sent me this fucking new guy that
[00:58:28] i'm obsessed with on instagram which guy let me find his name real quick is that the guy you sent
[00:58:32] me uh i don't know did i send you erin or something no no no it's this fucking this big fat guy who's
[00:58:38] like oh nice just why he looks exactly like you no he doesn't yeah you're trying to savage psycho
[00:58:44] you're trying to burn me savage garden savage psycho i mean he looks like stop wow look at the
[00:58:48] stop let me see the fuck knows what a deadlift is do you know the difference in the turn of dead
[00:58:54] lift and a deadlift and lower do you know that what is quaddeus boy if you don't come up to me
[00:59:03] i'll teach you the fucking difference that's the real fucking page and say i'm doing fucking wrong
[00:59:08] it's because you're a fucking idiot i don't give a fuck what you think especially if you don't know
[00:59:13] you don't know i'll teach you and then you'll fucking know the real fucking way and stuff
[00:59:19] you know i can no i'm treated in him dude most of all you know not even though he's ugly i'm cute
[00:59:25] like just moving to each and get on my page and telling me i really want to comment on that
[00:59:29] video hello i gotta say this any quit benches 405 or 18 here's him benching 315 with a spot
[00:59:35] look at how much work that other guy's doing anyways i don't know that looks pretty strong
[00:59:45] on me uh yeah no this guy's hilarious because he's like a grown up version remember those kids
[00:59:51] with like emotional problems that had to be in a special class for people like class that you were
[00:59:55] in yeah i was forced that emotional problems that are always pissed yeah just
[01:00:00] constantly the fuck are you looking at yeah i do remember that yeah just like the
[01:00:07] very scary those kids you're so angry they consider you retarded yeah
[01:00:13] like a type of your disher son i'm sorry your son's retarded what's his disability he's pissed
[01:00:21] he's got a pissed chromosome they put one of those kids in our like they didn't have anywhere to
[01:00:25] put i think you can't get in fights the retarded kids so they put it you put them in like the
[01:00:29] class with a smart kid with all the smart kids where i was they should not be a fat class yeah i
[01:00:35] wouldn't have been in your son is in the gt programs or oh gief did then thought i did they're
[01:00:39] like well girth and tub it's a similar class um but with the intubby class they just let them play
[01:00:47] for the fatter students because their hands can't wrap around the normal size pants you have to have
[01:00:51] a novelty pencils if you hate it how bad would your hands have to be in the hands i calculated
[01:00:56] that's only got four buttons for the larger students like stavros um and senate deaths were
[01:01:03] just have beanbag chairs that sounds fucking good yeah jokes on you that sounds pretty cool okay guys
[01:01:07] here's your schedules for the year as you can see period one is lunch cafeteria period two is
[01:01:14] cafeteria period three is recess or you can choose the elective of cafeteria
[01:01:19] period four sounds applied math that's mostly figuring out how many cupcakes
[01:01:29] number five is science which is looking through a microscope at your deck
[01:01:39] i never said period seven is social studies where we mostly just tell you how to
[01:01:45] accuse other people of being the ones that smell bad on the bus very important in a fat person's
[01:01:51] life number six is spanish and it's mostly just reading menus eating tacos
[01:01:58] how to pronounce fajita and molly and some of that uh you know you joke that sounds great
[01:02:05] stops you have the experience a little kid we go to restaurant and like see like all the
[01:02:09] shit and you're like damn that's for adults like these oh yeah and the kid menu yeah yeah you say
[01:02:14] that you were too mature for the kid menu when you were like oh that's four-year-old
[01:02:17] that is you no i would think that if i would excuse me just a five-year-old business cards
[01:02:23] right you brought a briefcase to school no way briefcase though the baseball cards no way do you
[01:02:31] know i these are for my office i remember i don't have a bedroom i have an office i remember a time
[01:02:36] when my parents took us to the chinese buffet and it was like kids under like 11 or something
[01:02:43] eat a certain and this fucking lady like my mom had to insist that i was 11 i was on your
[01:02:50] thing she looked at me she's like no he's got a painful price i was like looking at her line
[01:02:56] look at his pubes i was so fat they're like no they tried to like strong arm my mom would
[01:03:01] make me pay the regular fucking price zapparos has no pubes i promise stavos is completely hairless
[01:03:08] he's a smooth boy i think i got pubes pretty late in the game yeah me too like 14 yeah oh not that
[01:03:14] late 14 yeah yeah i was i think i was 13 but it was that wasn't like but you fucked it wasn't
[01:03:21] not a 13 you fuck it like uh 15 15 yeah you fucked but that's by that time all the pubes come in in
[01:03:27] your mind it's like puberty takes so long but that's because like i mean compared to now now
[01:03:32] you have no patience like years slipped by oh yeah you don't have patience yeah i didn't have patience
[01:03:38] still like i can't like the woodworking should i can do i did not have the patience for it to the
[01:03:41] last like four years yeah as a younger man i was too oh you had patience for was bowling back in the
[01:03:47] day oh wow that already feels like a different episode yeah the bowl is how long that's how long
[01:03:53] it's been um well that that should do it for today let me plug some stuff i uh i finally fat so i'm
[01:03:59] coming to seattle six 28 here the first day in kallin tossa laughs seattle you can already buy
[01:04:05] tickets to that last seattle in scrambled eggs um so i'm doing the phrase you're towards seattle
[01:04:09] the tickets are free the tickets are not free i think they're 15 online please buy those
[01:04:13] you do not have to pay no you do have to pay
[01:04:19] you have to pay and they're more expensive with the door so please buy those online and i think i'm
[01:04:23] doing the siren theater in portland on july second how about the gyran theater for third i'm sorry
[01:04:29] the third member it's the stavros haucchia siren gyran theater takeover no women are allowed to
[01:04:33] attend the show now to single one if you buy a ticket you're a woman get the fuck out you gotta
[01:04:38] get the fuck out of here get your ass out the fucking show you get madex to the pussy um so yes
[01:04:43] guys please come get sucked off at those shows i'm excited to go to the pacific northwest so you're
[01:04:48] gonna suck off the entire audience i'll suck off all the pussy i'll suck to you headlining carolines
[01:04:54] on broadway sometime next month break out oh nice dude not break out real headline real headline real
[01:04:59] headline week a whole week yeah i think it's a whole week nice dude um i gotta call luis back
[01:05:05] and to lock it in and then money mom's on monday oh fuck we got a book that you got memorial day
[01:05:11] weekend if you're staying in town if you're in new york also visiting new york monday
[01:05:15] and i plug your other the stavi baby on twitch oh yeah hit me up on twitch yeah that's my i love doing
[01:05:21] that stuff basically the nina the pina in the san tameria this twitch bullshit you figure out how
[01:05:25] to make money on there then i might go on the instinctually it seems like a dumb idea i just
[01:05:30] stopped the other day we had fun yeah it's fun nice riff about uh uh the amount of pussy you get
[01:05:36] him in that's for the twitch yeah don't yeah come on what are you doing bro yeah i can't
[01:05:42] come on bro that's proprietary dude it's weird though you got to thank people for the sub and stuff
[01:05:47] yeah i mean i like i don't know it's fun just game and shit
[01:05:50] your face yeah it's actually turned out it would be a lot of work but i fuck with it yeah i had a
[01:05:54] lot of broccoli yesterday i guess i was farting i did um so yeah if you guys are in town again we
[01:06:00] have funny moms this monday the 20 whatever it is memorial day weekend i really really though
[01:06:06] shout out oh nick you really just fucking whoop oh god man right madam's face yeah so that's disgusting
[01:06:14] rip full of broth i am sad about it i really i yeah rip chukpelaniac or whatever yeah there you go
[01:06:21] let's say chukpelaniac is that his name yeah palin yeah it's palin yeah it's palinic
[01:06:30] polynic right now whatever i actually think also breddy sennelles wrote that book anyways what book
[01:06:36] fight you don't remember that that was like a thing you could really piss off breddy sennelles
[01:06:39] on twitter if you just did tell them i really enjoy your book oh really yeah five years ago
[01:06:44] that was like the big jump you fucking just say i love fight club that's hilarious fucking right
[01:06:48] that fuck i was too busy having sex with guys but as sera's isn't here but thank you as sera
[01:06:55] yeah hollering asterias yeah support his uh lawsuit all right later bye guys