Cum Town | Regular | 06/07/2018
[00:00:00] Fucker's hello and welcome to come down
[00:00:04] This is phoenix come look at my name is Phoenix
[00:00:09] I'm Phoenix come my name is Luke Skyfag
[00:00:15] We like Luke Sky homo there is another sky
[00:00:23] Sucking penis I will I want to go see a faggot you are
[00:00:31] I'm not acting like a faggot. Mmm. Are you I want to see solo. Oh, yeah, let's let's say we should go see solo
[00:00:39] Here's a thing piece idea. Excuse me shouldn't this be movie be called lando. Yeah, excuse me
[00:00:45] Excuse me. Yes, how about black excellence?
[00:00:48] Mm-hmm. That's my real last name. Yeah uniform Adam Adam Lando. Oh, I thought it was Adam black excellence land down
[00:00:55] Yeah, it was changed in when they moved to South Africa to free. That's land out. That's not lando
[00:01:01] Whatever assembly you're named after the symbol on the side of a like like Mart like the actor Marlon
[00:01:06] I'm like cut him. That's a nice shirt. They don't want to slice it. It is really that cashmere. I don't actually I think it's
[00:01:12] Marina will I be honest? I don't like it. It's not mine. It's a
[00:01:20] It I don't like dasha's ex-husband you're wearing his clothes. No friends ex-husband. Yes, actually
[00:01:28] She still friends with that should bring her ex-husband's clothes for you to put on she's like it's so big on you
[00:01:44] They're still friends. It's pretty mature. Yeah, I'm not still friends with anybody even people on friends with
[00:01:55] Longer being friends with anybody. Oh, you keep in touch with your exes. I don't even keep in touch with
[00:02:00] With you know myself Nick's wearing noise canceling headphones right now. He can't hear anything near Adam boys canceling
[00:02:20] Only hear black excellent voices and here the excellent voices of magical black one
[00:02:25] Joseph and his amazing technical our dream black woman
[00:02:30] Although I have to say Serena Williams appears to have used up some black girl used up a lot of her black girl magic
[00:02:36] Yeah, and and she pulled out of did she pull out of French open? Yeah, stop. What's the other day?
[00:02:42] Can you tell me where the times it said?
[00:02:48] Three eight nine forty nine three minutes fifty one seconds fifty two seconds fifty three seconds
[00:03:02] Cool. Wow, so then it yeah, we got I got we got to start doing reads it
[00:03:08] Certain times yeah, okay, we can't tell the audience. We have to sneak them in okay perfect because it has to sound like real
[00:03:15] The sponsors were very concerned that people would be fast forwarding to the advertisement
[00:03:20] So you guys if you do that guess what we're giving out this be a secret hidden message
[00:03:25] It'll be Adams address Adam social security number. Yeah, yeah first four numbers hidden in the first read
[00:03:33] There's a lot more doxing to do a lot more personal information that we could release listen to the entire
[00:03:39] Here's thing you listen to the entire read there's a download code for pictures of Dasha's feet
[00:03:50] She got mad I put the mega upload 4k Jim dot com. Yeah his personal stash. Yeah, who's Kim dot?
[00:03:57] He's that fat German guy. Mm-hmm. It's like a hacker. He did make up low
[00:04:02] He's fat German hacker. He started mega upload. I think I think where's he live in New Zealand or something now?
[00:04:07] Yeah, I think he's dead actually is he dead? I think so getting too much pussy getting too much was poisoning
[00:04:15] Contipo all right. Oh, we said this on the premium, but if you're in Australia, we'll be there in October
[00:04:21] Oh, yeah, three city rich for Australia, baby
[00:04:27] There was just we're so much for this country. I
[00:04:31] Can't wait for the company. Oh, mate. Could you stop spitting all over?
[00:04:34] My your teeth are too fucked up to come into the country
[00:04:40] What is what do you have fake teeth? Mm-hmm. That's because I use your music to death
[00:04:47] Yeah, this grows. Hey, come on, man. It was crack. Was it it wasn't right? He's kind of like the Ian of
[00:04:53] Literally, yeah, old guy really into him. Yeah, that's exactly correct. It is fun
[00:04:59] Although he every once in a while. Yeah, Bonnie is hot
[00:05:04] I wonder if she's trans considering bosses the Ian of that group. That is true. That would make sense
[00:05:10] Friends why is that funny with that? Yeah, that hot good a comedy. Yeah. Yeah, it's got a
[00:05:17] That's the only explanation. I'm falling we're calling you out. Let's see that
[00:05:21] Caught listen to new segment of downtown. Let's see that call out women for being too talented
[00:05:31] The only explanation is that they're hiding a cop
[00:05:35] Damn baby. Let me see that fucking dick
[00:05:38] Yeah, the new type of cat call. Mm-hmm. We're women are assumed to be men
[00:05:43] Yeah, that Tina Fey a little too funny for me. Yeah, probably got a dick. Let's see a Tina Fey
[00:05:48] Let's see that car show us your cock show us your dick bitch
[00:05:53] It's not misogyny because we don't consider them women
[00:05:57] We're just being the other men and you know what men are toxic. So it's actually good
[00:06:05] Hell hell hell hell hell. Yeah, fuck man. She's just show us here. Especially the ones that are trans
[00:06:17] So yeah, we're gonna be in motherfucking rich vosstralia in october melgren sydney and grisby and then also gonna be rich vostamore
[00:06:24] Yeah, rich vosstamore august 12 was 20 rich vosstamore
[00:06:31] In baltimore like rep silence of the lambs. Yeah, dude what?
[00:06:35] Because the the insane asylum is in the
[00:06:39] Asylum is in marrow where I didn't come throwing insane asylum
[00:06:42] I didn't know well the book takes place like cannibal lectures supposed to be from baltimore. Yeah. Yeah, he's a baltimore. Yeah
[00:06:49] It's in the oak clorice. Yeah. Yeah, yeah
[00:06:51] Yeah, chorice once you get in here come over here. Yeah, they say he's the smartest man in baltimore
[00:07:00] That's the test the best saying you've never put your clothes in your mouth choked on him
[00:07:05] If you made it that far in life, guess what you can eat people
[00:07:07] I some I some liver with old bay crab chips
[00:07:16] I had a nice dinner ate his liver with some e-pills
[00:07:24] You know and then a nice glass of four loco and then he goes homemade four loco, baby
[00:07:30] They stopped it. I've assembled home, but I'm not doing co-rains. Yeah, I figured it out
[00:07:38] Mountain dude co-rains a little bit of fucking pipe for the drain out
[00:07:43] Yeah, I eat every part of the body except a pussy because that's just gay
[00:07:55] Hanable, but I'm white do not look at my hair. Don't look at the shape of my hair and accuse me of being mixed race
[00:08:02] Don't ever fucking look you can touch go ahead touch it. Why would I give a shit?
[00:08:07] Don't comment on it's texture, but you can fucking touch it. You know I get I'll fucking eat your ass
[00:08:15] Oh hell yeah, yeah lahannable lector damn we just
[00:08:21] She's still got that good pussy. Yeah, dude. I think she's probably a guy. Yeah, so good. Just blow us
[00:08:28] That 90 year old pussy so hard it turns inside out. Mm-hmm. Just imagine how bad you could fuck up an 80 year old's pussy
[00:08:35] Yeah for sure. Just for a body. No, I think it's like more elastic probably no way. It'll come right out
[00:08:41] Yeah, it'll pop right now. Just blow that pussy to pieces
[00:08:46] Just fucking if you blow into a ass could probably pop her pussy out. Yeah, I would think yeah, that's how it works
[00:08:51] Yeah, no, it's like it's like you don't want to balloons left around like a helium balloons. Yeah. Yeah for a while two days old
[00:08:57] Yeah, yeah, yeah, just sag it now imagine an 80 year old balloon
[00:09:01] You could put your dick inside. Yeah, it's had a lot of comedy
[00:09:04] Uh an old woman's pussy. It's like you know when you've been chewing on gum too long
[00:09:08] But you're still nervous. Yeah, so you gotta get a fuck one woman over 70 Helen meringe you fuck come on
[00:09:15] What a boring choice. What's your doctor Ruth?
[00:09:19] Turned she's turning 90 about to die. I don't give a fuck about that boring choice
[00:09:23] She's got some big-ass fucking titties. What's her name from that that French actress is pretty hot. That's pretty boring choice. Yeah
[00:09:35] She's like 85 how is it isabelle huppert her pair? Yeah, who bam
[00:09:40] Yeah, she's not that old dude. You're fucking in the school. She's probably
[00:09:43] She's in her she was in her mid 30s in like the night the mid 90s actually is hella meringe even a 70 probably not
[00:09:49] She might be she might be around there. I I saw her crushable ron. What you're what you're what you're is
[00:09:56] Diselegration what year did that come out?
[00:10:11] Dasha you just want to be on come town with the fun. Yeah
[00:10:15] Yeah, it's uh, it's 1998 the celebration. Yeah, she's probably what like
[00:10:22] She's 65 now. All right, she's like that that counts as like i'm googling hot ass old lady hot ass women after 70
[00:10:31] Um deep ass fucking of old horny woman. Yeah, that looks pretty good
[00:10:44] The sexy ass old hairy lady free hairy sexy porn somebody I have to give credit somebody DM'd me told me to watch it
[00:10:51] I can't remember who but I did what that movie hereditary that's coming out
[00:10:55] Old woman with a fat ass gives a hot blowjob and rides on con is that a scary movie? Thanks stuff
[00:11:03] Is that the one you're talking about seen? Oh damn Adam could you shut up for one second?
[00:11:07] I'll sorry. Could you please shut up? Oh, yeah, what about hereditary? Yeah, this movie hereditary is coming out
[00:11:12] Which is a scary movie. Mm-hmm. I saw our imbecile friend here point back
[00:11:18] Oh, yeah, it's lame to call scary movie scary. First of all, I'm not scary. There's genre films. It's a horror movie
[00:11:24] Yeah, it's not sorry. Sorry. Sorry scary. How in elegant of me scary is received and I have never been scared by anything in my life
[00:11:34] If I can't I can understand what genre it's supposed to be in yeah, it's a genre
[00:11:38] Scared that would be a lot. Okay, so it's a fucking horror theory. Correct professor emeritus nick maulin
[00:11:45] Film a lot film a gradually. That's right
[00:11:52] Anyways, that director he made a short film called there's something strange about the johnson's in
[00:11:57] 2011 tell you and it's a black it's is black
[00:12:02] Oh, really they are black. Oh, nice and the what happens in the movie is there's a 14 year old black kid and he gets caught by his dad
[00:12:08] Beating off. Mm-hmm. And then the dad's like a snotormal don't really about it
[00:12:12] And then the dad leaves the room and like you see the picture the kid was jacking off to and it's a shirtless picture of his dad
[00:12:19] Oh, yeah, that's right up our own rules and then the kid starts raping his father
[00:12:24] What the fuck is violently raping him for like 14 years?
[00:12:30] So it cuts it cuts to like the the son's elder now and he's getting married and he's like hiding to a woman
[00:12:35] To a woman and then he's like, you know at the wedding like pulling his dad into the garage and fucking his dad just raping his father
[00:12:45] You know how is that had I mean, that's a lot. He wanted it. Yeah, it's not rape dude
[00:12:50] He wanted it. He'd be getting rid by your son. You're not put up a fight. That's actually legally true
[00:12:56] You can't it has a rape. We haven't got the son's one of the old laws of English
[00:13:06] That's how you become a governor coming well
[00:13:11] Is you not allowed to eat ice cream? Well walking backwards after sunset if you rape your own father and he doesn't fight back
[00:13:21] That's why landed gentry that is a crazy idea first for a short film. Yeah, it's great. How does it end?
[00:13:28] Um the dad dies the dad comes oh the dad is running out of the house because the dads are writers
[00:13:33] So he's written a manuscript explaining how his son's been raping him for years is what a son catches him with the man
[00:13:38] He's cowardly to write it in the book. Well, that's yeah
[00:13:42] Yeah, the son has something like monologue
[00:13:44] He's like you can't understand that like this is love and sometimes that's scary, but there's a difference between being scared of being a coward
[00:13:50] And he's like you've been fighting this since it started. He's like but he's like yeah
[00:13:54] It may be rough at times, but it's because I love you so much and you love me
[00:13:58] Why yeah, yeah, yeah, he's like just mind fucking the dad
[00:14:02] That's about his son. He just rapes his father in every way
[00:14:05] Yeah, it doesn't know how to feel and the dad like runs out of the house crying with the manuscript and gets hit by a van and dies
[00:14:18] Yeah, no, I loved it. Yeah, that's actually the last line of the movie. Yeah, and then he the son fucks his corpse
[00:14:25] Yeah, just is the son gay in any other way or just one's no
[00:14:27] He just rapes his dad nice and then no, there's one scene. There's one scene
[00:14:33] Because like they's like he's still married to the mom
[00:14:36] You know, so the mom is just like ignoring that this is going on wild
[00:14:41] Yeah, and there's like one scene where uh the dad is in like the bathtub listening to like positive affirmation tapes on headphones because he like
[00:14:48] You know wants to kill himself or whatever and then the son decides to like stay at home
[00:14:53] Like the son was just visiting with his wife and then he like intentionally breaks a dish and he's like
[00:14:57] I'm just gonna clean up when you go home and I'll be home a little bit late, you know
[00:15:02] And then uh, the dad knows what's up. Well, the dad doesn't know what's up
[00:15:05] He's got headphones on and he's like in the bathtub and the son tries to come in the bathroom
[00:15:08] He's like, you know, I feel about locked doors and he's like trying to open the door
[00:15:13] And then the dad takes the headphones off
[00:15:14] But it's too late the son's already angry and he kicks down the door
[00:15:17] And then you just hear the son violently raving the dad
[00:15:21] Well, the mom's like just hears him screaming in the other room
[00:15:24] And she's just like, you know stone-faced and turning the volume up on the tv while her husband's being raped
[00:15:31] What is this like a fucking allegory for some shit allegory for i'll tell you our political
[00:15:40] Guys whatever kind of underwear you're wearing right now
[00:15:42] That movie about raving your father is an allegory for providing a new pair of underwear at macwelton.com
[00:15:56] Because macwelton they believe in smart design premium fabrics and simple shopping
[00:16:00] Yeah, I think it's hard to love your father
[00:16:03] Well, I got some easy for you go to macwelton.com and enjoying the simple shopping experience that they provide
[00:16:08] Easier than amazon easier than kicking down a door and raping your father. I have a question
[00:16:13] Yeah, I think a problem when raping your father is that your your dick would kind of smell bad
[00:16:20] Luckily they have a line of naturally antimicrobial silver underwear shirts
[00:16:29] That's science the darkest parts of you and berries that deep down inside where no one can see
[00:16:34] Similar to how the father in that movie must have dealt with the fact that his son was
[00:16:44] And you know what not only do they perform well they look good too and you can wear them anywhere
[00:16:48] You know with the gym it works it's your therapist's office stealing the fact that
[00:16:59] And tell you what if you want if you want to be like the dad in that movie the cool dad in that movie
[00:17:03] Who kept his head level while having to write a 300 head shot and kept his mouth shut
[00:17:08] You go to macwelton.com and use promo code COMTOWN
[00:17:11] CUMTOWN all capital letters to receive 20% off
[00:17:15] And tell you what they just want you to be comfortable
[00:17:17] So if you don't like your first pair you can call them up and say hey
[00:17:21] I don't like them and they'll refund your money you can keep the underwear no questions asked
[00:17:24] But they got a lot of great clothes. I wear myself
[00:17:29] Well my one of my better pairs of obviously the best pair of underwear I have is one with the cock ring built in
[00:17:36] Also the big one of those cock rings that also holds the balls of course
[00:17:39] Yeah, yes, and then then then this they also have an attachment where there's a magnifying glass
[00:17:46] Looking glass like you're working on a miniature set
[00:17:55] The attached to a woman's head and then they're locked into the underwear
[00:17:59] So they're only able to see my dick through the
[00:18:02] And then I have I have a bunch of small explosives attached to my cock so when I inserted she's like is it in yet?
[00:18:21] Get that discount perfect. Thanks for explaining that to me. Yeah, anyway, so yeah the movie was great
[00:18:26] That's always mac weld and check them out and we're back to well. We're not back to anything. We're not back in regular
[00:18:31] That was just part of the answer. Yeah, thank you for answering my question about the allegory
[00:18:35] Yeah, yeah about what that movie was really about that's why you don't skip the ads
[00:18:44] Um, what's the time stamp at because I got it we are at
[00:18:47] 18 minutes and 49 seconds 50 seconds 51
[00:19:13] All right, is that the bad idea? I didn't do the math right?
[00:19:15] Whatever because this puts us at 40 instead of 45. I fuck I also wasn't supposed to tell him
[00:19:22] Goddamn it. Well, that's why we're fucking we're keeping the audience guessing. Yeah. Yeah, just like in that movie
[00:19:30] Well, he didn't he didn't know when the brutal rape was gonna come
[00:19:37] How about this mexico's you on inspiring rival?
[00:19:40] Mm. Whatever their differences on domestic issues the four presidential candidates in mexico's election all opposed to the u.s
[00:19:45] President get Vicente Fox back in there. He says fuck. He says he cusses. My man. My man. My man little cuss word
[00:19:52] Yeah, what was vincente was like in bed with the cartel or something like he hated them, but he would have sex with them
[00:20:01] I just couldn't see you. That's what the expression in bed means
[00:20:08] Apparently Donald Trump's in bed with the big banks
[00:20:12] Yeah, oh no no legislation in their favor. He just has sex. He just fucks
[00:20:16] Every every executive from chase you guys hear that hit Donald Trump's wife dot is dead. Yeah, oh, Melania
[00:20:23] Fecless and feckless cunt. No, that's his daughter
[00:20:28] Indonesia cracks down on peaceful independence movement in papua
[00:20:32] Wow, imagine living in a bitch ass place with a name like papua. Yeah, you probably feel such like such a little
[00:20:39] Yeah, you probably probably hate yourself. Yeah
[00:20:41] If you're from papua your gay shit, but if you're from papua new guinea you're tight. You get a lot of pussy
[00:20:49] The kitty pussies are popping new guinea
[00:20:54] Dude, I'm trying to go to some of that good pussy. That's where it's gonna be close to papa niggini
[00:20:59] I just want to go to like boora boora is some someplace I do
[00:21:03] Like that again, Adam. I'm gonna isolate that and repeat it. No, stop it. Don't be a boora boora
[00:21:14] Don't draw attention to that. Let's see your tongue things like that renegade in chief cuts cord to his devotees on the ballot
[00:21:23] Once bright future dim as trump favors establishment. Yeah, this is like
[00:21:27] This is big eyes on it on radio that we just read yeah
[00:21:31] You just remember the newspaper some through the news you can hear the newspaper
[00:21:35] Yeah, and it's like that's how you just give up on your newspaper your radio job
[00:21:40] They used to be a show on NPR was the newspaper show reaching you
[00:21:47] That's yeah, they suck everything on NPR is bad literally everything on NPR is bad. Yeah, tell me one good show on NPR
[00:21:53] I'll tell you that. Come on. You know my girl. That's what's hard talk car talk
[00:21:58] I've been off the air for a long time and one of them is dead and it was the best one car talk sucked
[00:22:03] I liked car. I like them. I mean compared to which car traffic with the rest of it
[00:22:08] I wasn't listening to it for car automotive tips. I know it's not for vibe. They're not the vibe was bad
[00:22:14] It had a fun vibe. It had a good vibe. It was wholesome
[00:22:18] It was two people that love each other. That's why you didn't like it Nick. Yeah, you're right
[00:22:21] Because I wish I wasn't so fucking dark
[00:22:24] It's too. It's not always dark. I hate being this dark skin. Dass
[00:22:29] Everybody's dark ass skin. Why not in color, but why'd you get like a leather?
[00:22:46] Skin but I mean if they happen to have skin it look you have dark people have an
[00:22:49] I wonder what this article is. We finally found the guy fatter than stop
[00:22:53] No, look how fatty it is. I can't wait to go have lunch with you after this dude
[00:22:57] I've been waiting for you to slip up so we can not slip enough lunchtime boys. I'm gonna have a regular life
[00:23:02] I die. It's been fucking terrible lately. I'm not gonna slip up. Where do you get lunch? Where you getting lunch?
[00:23:11] You weren't invited to this podcast. I don't know how you became
[00:23:14] I was invited you send me a car linked in
[00:23:23] Yeah, I made I might have made the card, but it was still had your name at the bottom of it. Yeah
[00:23:29] I want to have I want to get me to something meaty. Let's go to that barbecue place
[00:23:33] I'll get barbecue. Yeah, which one smoke joint smoke joint. I just I still have smoke joint left in my refrigerator
[00:23:39] I just went to smoke. What about sushi?
[00:23:41] Sushi would be fine. Okay sushi. I'm done. It's who she I go. Lift weights. I joined a new gym. Oh, yeah
[00:23:47] Yeah, Nick Jordan's a gym. Yeah, Richie's. Oh nice. Where's that? It's they have a bunch of locations
[00:23:53] Okay, I never friend that goes to one of them. Yeah. Yeah, that place is a fucking mess. Yeah
[00:23:58] $14 a month. That's well, that's barely over planet fitness. Yeah
[00:24:03] $14 a month. So the year over cost is still less than one month of frosting
[00:24:12] Was like 180 bucks 170 170. Yeah, I'm fucking sorry
[00:24:16] Mr. Mr. I'm good at math over here. I've never claimed to be good at that
[00:24:20] Allow me to do some julies. I want to do Jewish math
[00:24:26] Million after after grandma's boy came out me and my friend did that voice for like six months
[00:24:30] I love that movie. That's great. I watched it again. It is not as good as you actually
[00:24:34] You're a bag at this one. It was just six months. I know anybody says anything like
[00:24:38] Oh, what have we got? You know Chinese for lunch? Hmm. What if you suck the dick?
[00:24:46] That's basically what me and eldest do with a lie detector test. Yeah. Yeah, yeah
[00:24:53] Actually eldest is gay. Yeah, this is the only male friendships at last so the ones where you call each other gay
[00:24:59] And then also pretend you want to secretly suck each other. Yeah. Yeah, that's another good bit
[00:25:04] That's not me. It's all pretend if you want to be boys with some of the rest of your life
[00:25:07] You got it. You got to call them gay constantly
[00:25:10] And then look at his leaf. Yeah, look at his dick and lick your lips. That's why I love it. That's why I love you guys
[00:25:17] All right, damn it. I hate it when you speak
[00:25:24] I'm no, this is great. This is at near times front page
[00:25:27] There's a picture of a kid missing his legs his legs are just completely blown off
[00:25:31] That sounds cool and then says a terrible tone of Afghanistan and then the the caption is
[00:25:35] A leftover rocket killed four and maim seven young members of an extended family
[00:25:40] I wanted to cry the doctor said it's like yeah, just cry, but right of course you want
[00:25:46] Like yeah, that was pretty bad. That was fucked. Yeah, yeah, it ruined my whole shit the doctor quoted
[00:25:59] Didn't Israel kill another uh, Israel did Israel killed another operation what?
[00:26:07] Happy flesky of Israel killed it at the eurovision song contest because the answer is they murder another uh, uh
[00:26:15] Israel Israel had a sting operation where they saw the jockety and gaza
[00:26:21] Like uh the terrorists they love it jocchi so
[00:26:25] but but they little there's face painting and
[00:26:30] When they're little, uh, I mean the terrorists
[00:26:33] They're going to there to get their face painted and to do pin that they're on the donkey goes boom and blow up
[00:26:40] Well, yeah, they have one of those animatronic bands at the chucky. Yeah. Yeah, yeah
[00:26:44] blows up that but yeah, but they all have suicide vests on I mean you probably shouldn't kill fucking paramedics
[00:26:50] Paramedics. Yeah, it's not what that lady was. Oh, you know what?
[00:26:54] I think that lady was her a nice titties. Yeah
[00:26:59] That's the real tragedy. You know what I sweet said a double D's. You can no longer be sucked on
[00:27:08] Honestly, if she was that good. All right Peter those sweet palestinian racks
[00:27:14] Honestly, she was that good mouth off. I'm trying to mouth off
[00:27:18] That's the real mouthing off. I'm a little titty in my mouth. Oh, you
[00:27:25] I don't know my real dad. Yeah, come town's going on a titty sucka tour gazza
[00:27:31] Stopping honestly, I've said that publicly before I feel so bad about the situation there
[00:27:36] I will suck literally any titty any gazatitty. Yeah, no matter the age or the oh, yeah, especially if it's under a sex
[00:27:43] If it's a male or a woman or if it's a breast or a penis whatever well men have breasts. Yeah, yeah, they're called balls
[00:27:52] They call big they're called a man's titty male breast a man's titty is his dick
[00:28:05] Fuck I'm on this motherfucking intermittent fasting tip, bro
[00:28:08] What you do you drink water? Yeah, I'll drink water. Yeah, but you just don't eat coffee and uh and bca a stir
[00:28:16] Oh bca a's. I haven't been drinking those
[00:28:20] Dasha just made us get this stuff called be college ass
[00:28:24] Collagen peptides collagen peptides, which I think is literally just a cow's ass. It's a cow's ass
[00:28:30] But uh, jonation that apparently it's good for you
[00:28:35] Ooh consent. That's a hot issue. How about we stop raping walls with graffiti?
[00:28:45] This is so this is a fucking gay dude the New York Times like oh, I like graffiti, but it's too scary when it's done without permission
[00:28:51] It's true. It's the only way that it's actually that's yeah
[00:28:56] Consent graffiti where we follow the rules. It's just murals of Hillary Clinton. I saw
[00:29:01] I was in uh, Brooklyn Heights a couple weeks ago and I saw there's like graffiti camp for like rich Brooklyn kids
[00:29:08] Where there's like a b-boy like cool camp. Holy shit. How are we not talked about?
[00:29:13] Graffiti camp for your little fucking faggot razor scooter eight-year-old and there is like my name starburst
[00:29:21] There's like some cool like black guy with a bucket hat like like hey i'm counselor b-boy
[00:29:26] Yeah, and we're learning how to do graffiti
[00:29:28] Gonna be tight and they were doing it on like pieces of paper imagine those kids becoming adults and having to remember that they went to that camp
[00:29:35] Yeah, and then like just maybe like wanting to kill themselves. Yeah, of course
[00:29:39] Now they were stupid because this stupid girl
[00:29:42] Because i'm gonna send him to the school of rock
[00:29:45] Yeah, i'm gonna teach him how to rock out at least you can learn how to play a fucking instrument
[00:29:49] If i had a kid dude, I would do nothing but beat that child and fucking make sure it never had fun
[00:29:56] I would send my motherfucker the fun is for after you turn 18 liking yourself enjoying yourself. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's why
[00:30:03] That's why it's so easy for you to have it right now
[00:30:07] That's why even though your life is going really well
[00:30:12] Unless you're whittling or playing with fucking wood in some way, please stop getting wood shavings
[00:30:17] All of my apartment make it sharper than i get them in your asshole
[00:30:20] I think it's already a prior ask how would that even be possible so much i think nix i think your fucking cord is making a scrooge
[00:30:27] So yeah because he's whittling too much during this episode
[00:30:30] Writing songs back to the back to the newspaper. What else we got? This is a now a new show guys a show
[00:30:39] We're the guest who's guess who learned how to read yeah, dude. We're finally gonna catch up with those
[00:30:44] Those elitists. Yeah, I don't like how much money they were making. We got to take some of that out of their damn pockets
[00:30:50] How about you redistribute that right fucking here pal? Hirsch's memoir is caustic and revealing what else uh, it's gay
[00:31:03] Hey, how about semen hirsch and so he just drinks jitter by dash is leaving
[00:31:08] Yeah, yeah, dasha's going to the foot museum
[00:31:14] Yeah, she's going to do buy to do some foot modeling. I guess
[00:31:18] No, i mean dasha have the same agent now. Oh nice
[00:31:21] So i'm looking at inside intel on how much they hate me from her. Yeah, yeah, yeah because uh
[00:31:30] a million dollar ad campaign way more than that he's easily three million dollars
[00:31:38] Easily the ad itself costs yeah easily that much pressure. Yeah. Yeah
[00:31:45] That ad was expensive as shit out of control. It's an incredibly bird was in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah
[00:31:52] It's incredible the license a dolly part and song that's right. It was they went the fucking they shot some of it in hong kong and like brelind
[00:31:59] That's I mean, this is like they had to suck dolly part and titties for permission
[00:32:03] That's real power nick. I know you lost probably a hundred thousand dollars
[00:32:06] Yeah on that, but that is real power is that what power is
[00:32:11] Is it power if you suck really in a hospital and you knock over some nice dialysis machine and kill them
[00:32:19] IBM is like literally one of the most powerful companies in the world. Don't tell me to shut up
[00:32:24] I'm complimenting no this is not a common the motherfucker got a hundred k ticket. I was no i'm
[00:32:36] Also, IBM didn't really lose that much money that just cut this fucking idiot out of the commercial
[00:32:40] We still used it but being able to see god fuck jeopardize an ordinary dollar ad
[00:32:47] For a moment, okay, he made it for like one day be like what the fuck are we gonna do?
[00:32:51] They're like, oh, we just cut this fucking moron out of the fucking man. Yeah, it's not that hard actually
[00:32:56] This isn't really a crisis. We don't need him at all
[00:33:00] So good point nick is very powerful. Yeah
[00:33:03] I wish I had magic dude. I wish I could do man. I wish I could turn super sane like that black kid that tried to yeah, dude
[00:33:09] Remember that video? Yeah, that was the best. You know, what can we
[00:33:13] Accomplish these things and realize that a partner it is
[00:33:16] Butterboy in the new series hosted by a partner non-chaler and others at a p.m. At little field
[00:33:22] Uh, oh, yeah, you should we try to get funny moms in the newspaper? I don't know, but i'm gonna start doing the crossword while the show is going on
[00:33:29] Okay, cool. Why don't you keep sharpening that pen to press host Chuck
[00:33:38] Chuck Todd come on use just such you just can't help your seat. I know who chucked
[00:33:57] I was gonna say that well listen. Oh, I was what I was gonna say you have your pitch you have hey, it's Chuck Todd
[00:34:06] Give me another one. You mean you don't think it was Chuck FAGG
[00:34:17] He's not on there. There is a guy named rust FAG right that's running. Yeah for senate in the eye. I don't
[00:34:23] Summit what's up with that pedophile that's uh, we talked about briefly he won he won he won he's the president
[00:34:30] Take that Donald fuck. Um Donald FAG. Oh didn't uh also the Supreme Court do some fucked up shit
[00:34:35] Uh the cake those bakers not have to yeah now you don't have to make cakes for gay guys
[00:34:43] That sucks dude. I'm sorry. You'll never get a cake again Adam. Yeah, I'm sorry. I did a prank call
[00:34:47] I lost the recording but you call up a pizzeria
[00:34:51] You're like a yes. I would like a cake that says happy gay marriage Eric
[00:35:00] We all do that we can we can all make a kiss on a piece of you want me to call the police
[00:35:10] Guys you do that yourself call up different places that bake things and demand they make you a gay cake
[00:35:15] Well, I guess they they don't have to they don't have to now. Yeah, so that's why I'm upset about that decision
[00:35:20] Supreme Court just ruined the type of prank call. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I could give a shit. It'll ask about yeah
[00:35:26] Yeah, yeah, gays and their interest in developing early diabetes. Mm-hmm. That's they just love having diseases
[00:35:37] Raise health care costs for everybody else. That's right. A little prep wasn't enough
[00:35:41] That's these gays we should have to pay for their age medicine granted
[00:35:45] They I also still think they should pay for our schools and all the fucked up things my children do
[00:35:50] But the gay the gays will not get hiv minus
[00:35:52] It's a fact that gays are always going to the bathroom and the hospital. Yeah, they can't
[00:35:58] Shits and they can't stop under the doctor. It's doctor bathroom bathroom share concert in August
[00:36:11] Share let me see that dick. Oh, yeah, that's another one sure. Let me see that day. See that dick
[00:36:16] Who do we got next that Nick? What is this?
[00:36:20] What's the beauty article about is it about Bushwick now? We're doing crossword
[00:36:24] Do you ever see those do you ever see those sir emanation?
[00:36:28] So, uh, Adam's act. No, it's four four four letters dumpster emanation. It's gotta be baby, right?
[00:36:36] Baby goes into a dumpster. Mm-hmm 14 across berry for a purple smoothie
[00:36:46] A sigh good call. Thank you. Yeah, I'm not gonna answer because apparently it's I I'm not allowed to answer
[00:36:52] Only when it's the fucking easiest one that we're obviously a joke answers. Yeah, I'm so well you you said a sigh
[00:36:57] Was that a joke the one on the spectrum and you have this much trouble navigating basic social skills. Yes. No, it's bitch
[00:37:04] It's bitch. It's bitch. That's bitchy. That's well. Yeah, of course. Let's see. What's five down guys. No, I have my problems
[00:37:12] Was place for experimenting lab. So yeah, I knew that but I would be too proud to a sigh good calls
[00:37:19] Thanks, man. Man. Stop is so good across words. I like the other guests on the show
[00:37:27] My apartment featured featured guest Adam and featuring at the end, you know, they would do that person not really in the cast and
[00:37:36] Introducing and introduce. Yeah, this actually every week you are
[00:37:39] Introducing. Yeah. Yeah, well that means it's my first breakout role. Yeah. Well, I take that as a compliment
[00:38:01] You think this guy will shorts is cool in real life will shorts. How about
[00:38:07] God is that fuck you will suck our fucking
[00:38:16] Put in your mouth and undo it like a starburst rapper. Yeah, somehow that's a crossword
[00:38:21] Sleddy girls know how to tie dicks into knots in their mouths. That's how you know if a girl's a slut
[00:38:27] My dick is the same size as a cherry stem. So yeah, that thing would always get you hard. Yeah
[00:38:32] Yeah, that's how you know she a free that's how you know she a friend
[00:38:35] 15 that's how you know she a fucking freak
[00:38:39] Boise State. I know hey, how about boys
[00:38:43] Is he state? I don't know 19. It's just guys you can have sex with
[00:38:52] Is it three letters four letters you fucking imbecile
[00:38:59] Ostrich. Oh, okay. Yeah, and I'm still not sure it's that so I'm not I think they're eat
[00:39:08] You want to ask your friend Chuck Todd with the idea. Hey, how about a lifeline huh?
[00:39:12] Regis you know that I'm a bird's expert. Yeah, we're good. We'll be right back with who wants to be a fake
[00:39:19] It's always a head of it feels good to have sex with men
[00:39:24] Oh, you know what I like it's fucking guys. It's forget what Regis sounds. That's pretty good
[00:39:29] That's like me just he's Albanian is he yeah? He's healthy
[00:39:36] Elders knows all the favors out there. I thought it was like an old Irish
[00:39:39] I don't know this one four down arch enemy of the fantastic four. I'm not gonna do it. Dr. Doom. Dr. Doom. So it's dr. Do
[00:39:47] M suppose. Yes, dr. Do how did you know that bro? I dab on comics. Yeah
[00:39:54] I like that shit a little bit. Mm-hmm not enough to read a whole comic
[00:39:57] But my mom would get me like a book like a big-ass
[00:40:00] Like coffee table book about comics. Mm-hmm and I would read those
[00:40:04] Oh, so you're into the genre, but not the I just was too fucking lazy to read a fucking whole comic book
[00:40:10] Yeah, you know I'm saying it seems like it seemed tedious. It's pictures. It's pictures
[00:40:14] I'd rather I mean I watched I watched I watched every comic book show like I watched
[00:40:20] I love that. I second. I fuck my dick. So didn't fuck my give us another crossword
[00:40:29] snarky comment after this is your big chance
[00:40:32] And it starts with a D and it's one two three four five six seven eight nine ten
[00:40:41] Maybe yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, it makes sense that Nick would be a that's for expert in snarky comments
[00:40:46] You know got a snark and that is a snarky comment in and of itself. Yeah, so who who's the real expert?
[00:40:53] Well, I'm saying you're an ex-snarky compliment. You're a gay sex bird. This is snarky comment. Uh-ru-buru
[00:40:59] Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know super second
[00:41:04] Is it disrespectful the time stamp about this maybe we should take bets on what the time stamp? Oh, I'd love to take bets
[00:41:10] I believe there was a way we could gamble. I love game online perhaps. Mm-hmm. At a website called bet
[00:41:18] It's uh 41 20 41 20. Oh, that's what Adam was gonna say. Yeah, it was but I didn't want to say it down
[00:41:26] They didn't want to I didn't want to check taught that. Yeah, one bet. I'm a Chuck at bet DSI
[00:41:33] Sports betting website on the internet with a solid track record of paying out people on time
[00:41:42] Mobile gambling interface, which is what they call an app for some reason mobile game game game
[00:41:49] It's just got you know what bet DSI chill out. It's just called an app. How about that?
[00:41:54] Scolding the company during their ads. I like that. I mean, well, that would be a problem
[00:42:02] This is a show. This is me discussing website that I use myself. I use it. I use it. I use it to gamble money on it recently
[00:42:08] Right, uh to gain I've never lost money because I've never picked anything wrong because bet DSI
[00:42:13] When you go there their app is so easy to use you can focus you will always win
[00:42:20] So focus on the gambling. You're not like what is this button? I don't know what this is
[00:42:25] Fucking up the things you want to bet on in your head. It's much easier. You know, it's in vegas
[00:42:29] They try and trick you into you know, the loud carpets loud carpets, you know, we're in much a titty
[00:42:34] Neon BSI it'll actually close all the porn tabs on your computer automatically really focus on
[00:42:44] They offer live in-game wagering so you can place fun bets throughout the fucking game
[00:42:48] And if you're not really in the sports, they do any kind of live event, you know bet on new years
[00:42:55] That's a funny one that's 20 to one odds you pick zero. Hey, I can't I can't legally I can't tell you that's the right number
[00:43:01] But that might be the last number in the countdown. That's right. You can bet on
[00:43:06] Uh, you can bet on when dr. Ruth is gonna die. Yes, you know, you can bet on what a pussy what a pussy looks like how easy
[00:43:12] Would be to get it to pro. Yes, you could just pop that shit out
[00:43:15] You can bet on who the meat the press host Chuck is Todd
[00:43:27] Please this Chuck suck my dick. Please shut up bet. Yes. I guys you got any picks
[00:43:36] You will I'll say cabs like for on the whatever the line is plus five plus five. I would probably take the caps game three
[00:43:43] Yeah, that's the only game. They have a chance of winning. They should have won game one
[00:43:47] Yeah, and they they that we're here didn't cover game one. They did not cover. Absolutely not
[00:43:51] It was they were 12 point favorites and they didn't know by like 10 so our pick no
[00:43:55] No, no, what the fuck didn't they pull away in overtime? Oh, oh fuck. You're right
[00:44:00] You're right. You're right, but they didn't cover still anyway
[00:44:03] Uh, yeah, take the fucking cabs plus five. That's our lock of the fucking week
[00:44:09] Uh, yeah, I don't know if the Kentucky Derby's happened yet already over all right. Well, if you want money on that congrats
[00:44:16] You know, hopefully did it on bet dsi.com. That's right
[00:44:19] Um, I'm betting on whether or not her editor is gonna be good. I bet it is after watching after that
[00:44:23] Movie bet right there. This short film. So go ahead and go to bet the aside.com. Check it out
[00:44:28] Use promo code cum 25 to get extra 20 percent on your
[00:44:37] Credit, you know for for betting so go ahead you get deposit that money
[00:44:42] CUM 25 capital C. Enjoy that you lower case amp enjoy that bonus enjoy the bonus
[00:44:48] You know on actually it's on that. It's not really
[00:44:50] Pretend it's on us and you can pretend your friends with us
[00:44:53] Yeah, because I know that's why a lot of you are keeping yourselves a lot
[00:45:00] Because we're you know what you don't have any friends. We don't have any friends either. Mm-hmm. I have no friends
[00:45:07] Shut the fuck up. I'm sorry stop trying to be my friend
[00:45:12] Nick we're clearly stopped. Go ahead. You know what go ahead go bet the aside and bet and see how long it takes for I fucking kill myself
[00:45:25] We gotta fucking do some ads soon. Yeah, yeah, keep forgetting we should yeah
[00:45:30] We should fucking we you know what guys guess what we don't care about money. We care about you. Mm-hmm. So from now on no more ads
[00:45:39] Just natural conversation natural riffs that are related to underpants and gambling. Well, who knows or whatever
[00:45:46] Don't be a baby. We are at 45 minutes at
[00:46:01] Love cross you know how many dms I get there like guys dude
[00:46:05] Crosswords when it went to the fucking do a crossword do a fucking maze
[00:46:16] Shoots and ladders there we go jeopardy clue of the day american quotes in a 1789 letter
[00:46:21] Benjamin Franklin relates the durability of the new constitution of these two things
[00:46:26] What are his last ball and his right ball? Yeah
[00:46:30] That would rule if he was it's like a pair of titties. Yeah, I love Ben Franklin. It's like yeah, Ben Franklin
[00:46:41] Her father's cock the darkness of obama's skin
[00:46:46] I can't believe he was racist who's been very good talking. Yeah, he was raised to obama 200 years ago. Yeah, yeah
[00:46:56] On the hundred dollar bill this ham and then underneath a little ribbon in
[00:47:00] In latin. Yeah, no blackest president is over my dead bodies
[00:47:17] There a lot of them fucked black girls. You have some sali hemming sali field fields
[00:47:22] Um, no, what's this bitch's name? Deborah of the king and i think Deborah messing. No
[00:47:29] That's us cunt. No wait. Say this first of all was Deborah in the in the king and i was Deborah messing in the king and i
[00:47:36] No, then that's then not the fucking answer. Debbie Reynolds
[00:47:39] No, it starts with a k it's probably the character's name. It's not the act. I don't remember that k k a any
[00:47:46] I just remember he says keener keener keener. Probably it's a crossword. I don't fucking know
[00:47:52] Go to a different clue try to figure it out. I will chill out. You don't have to freak out over one clue
[00:47:56] freaking out i'm a pinch dude. You understand man. He's the
[00:48:01] Calm down. He is door. Everyone is fucking chill and being nice to each other and you have to act like a fucking bitch
[00:48:08] Paulji pending you know what i call me a fucking thing i'm gonna be the bigger man and apologize before you can
[00:48:12] No, I apologize first. I'm clearly just apologize before that away from you guess who's apologizing earlier me
[00:48:18] Well, I accept your apology as the hero of the show and guess what I did not mean my apology my tape measure
[00:48:23] Please just kind of looking at what my dick looks like. All right. Well, don't feed the thing back in there while the lock is in
[00:48:36] No, I don't have a set of three inches. Yes, I do not have a set of three inches
[00:48:43] Deflect deflect i like that we both chose the same
[00:48:49] That means stop us or friends and no one else these people take these things. Just a seriously
[00:48:57] Okay, what else we got man what else right?
[00:48:59] Nine down what else and then it's three letters and ends with d and and d
[00:49:05] Probably what else question mark. Okay, we're gonna go and
[00:49:08] Progress on this. Yeah, basically that monday's is the easiest one. Yeah, it's the roots
[00:49:12] Is it monday's the easiest one sunday's the hardest one is it yeah, fuck
[00:49:20] Sorry, I didn't know there was variable difficulties. Yeah. Yeah sunday the sunday crossword thought
[00:49:25] Well, i've done the sunday crossword a million times. I never noticed a million times a million times
[00:49:31] Number eight down server at a coffee house barista. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. That's easy money. No, that's
[00:49:37] Them a server. Yeah, I just needed a look at the thing even a baby could do that one
[00:49:43] In fact, a baby that a baby wouldn't be a baby bug. No, don't think that shit
[00:49:56] I can't wait till i'm on the cool beaches of australia
[00:50:00] Getting respect from well. They what's the podcast hosts that are going?
[00:50:04] We don't have to decide which guests we're gonna take with us. What are you talking about? I'm the I'm the introducing
[00:50:09] All right, 10 down random guests four letters and there's a third letter is an a random guess
[00:50:30] Antic a ntic. Okay. I'm 11 down pretty easy get up
[00:50:41] Like clothes maybe middle four four letters
[00:50:46] Four letters. Oh, yeah, and then bazure. I guess it's fucking eight across. So it's ris
[00:50:55] What my dick does? Okay when I see a cute
[00:51:07] Yeah, cool. Yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. Um, okay
[00:51:50] This is so much fun. You'll be buying that
[00:52:05] And then it's yeah, so true in quotation. So it's an expression that means so true
[00:52:11] One two three four five six seven eight nine ten
[00:52:15] Correct any letters so true totally totally. Yeah, it might be totally totally
[00:52:30] Totally dude. It's so funny. It's because like remember party like a rock star
[00:52:36] Don't look at the clues. Why I can't go ahead. Yeah, you can't go ahead. Look how much empty space we have here
[00:52:41] We'll just put in Ernie else. It looks like the back of dasha's pussy while you're
[00:52:49] She's your friend too. I know she's my friend. Yeah, but she's cool
[00:52:52] She gets bit my girlfriend, you know what I mean the thing about dasha that's cool about like especially the person like in a relationship
[00:52:58] It's cool to have one person understands a bit. Mm-hmm. And that's what's cool about dasha's
[00:53:02] We do all types of bits is that she gets bits we do all types of this Bob. No one's around us are holding hands while you're in the room
[00:53:08] No one never hold her and we hold hands off time. That's not true a lot of people don't know this but I'm often holding dasha
[00:53:27] In the gossip magazine national inquirer as a picture of us feeding each other ice cream
[00:53:35] So is it sorbet or sherbert? Let me laugh
[00:53:40] I'm like thank god Adam's out here to ruin it. I'm like, I know
[00:53:43] Right it's so nice being friends with you
[00:53:52] For one of our classic afternoons out. Yeah, have your lefts
[00:53:59] All right, let's get serious. All right. Come on. 36 across carrying a gun armed armed
[00:54:04] Yep, armed and fucked juris armed and armed and slammed juris slam post juris
[00:54:25] Do er s yeah, I guess yeah, yeah, that makes sense
[00:54:28] Yeah, who the fuck thought of a crossword puzzle this is a fucking dumbass idea in franklin was it will short to the first one
[00:54:36] Well, short let me see that dick will short cock will charge his pants. Mm-hmm. That already
[00:54:48] This the measuring tape feels substantial. I like it. Yeah, it's a good measuring tape. It is the clip at the end magnetic. Yes
[00:54:55] It's like it's a good milwaukee 16 foot. Mm-hmm
[00:55:10] Boneless cut named for a new york restaurant
[00:55:13] Strength strip and now I've been because it's one two three four five six seven eight nine
[00:55:19] Porter house 11. Let's go boom. So that's got a bone and it ends with its stake as I'm assuming the last
[00:55:29] Ends with but it's oh steak. So something something oh steak
[00:55:37] Very interesting Peter Peter Luke guys if you got a
[00:55:41] Any input please feel free to write into this well actually the this will come out on the box 582
[00:55:47] 2 6 1 17 23 Brooklyn, New York. That's b r o k c
[00:56:14] Recently were you guys early readers me? Yeah, actually yeah, I like how to read pretty fun
[00:56:21] I was too. I was like two one. Yeah, I was that in my mom's pussy. They would stuff a fucking jugs magazine in there
[00:56:27] I was called cool. I was a club international man inside of my mom's pussy
[00:56:32] You did graffiti and your mom's pussy legal. Yeah, that's when I started tagging New York times likes
[00:56:37] So I swear in the sky for short UFO where is 34?
[00:56:44] Nice you damn this is really pretty easy. Yeah, it is the
[00:56:48] Exceptional the oh steak. I'm annoyed at the cheap section on a plane coach. See yeah, I would say coach
[00:56:58] Wait, how about that show coach? But instead of about being about a coach about a guy that flies coach. Whoa
[00:57:03] Thanks. Do you guys ever watch coach? I used to watch it. Yeah. Yeah with uh, what's his name?
[00:57:11] Use bold crayk t nelson crayk t nelson. Yeah, what else was craygan?
[00:57:18] Yeah paultergeist with the little girl hella no work who is raped to death by jewish producers. What is that a jeopardy?
[00:57:25] I don't know about jewish. Wait, was that for real? Yeah, yeah, she was anally raped
[00:57:32] So bad she got like an ass infection that was misdiagnosis like crones disease and it eventually killed her
[00:57:38] Oh my god, it was on the set of jeopardy. It was on the set of jeopardy at hollywood center studios
[00:57:42] Named sunset last pama studios my former workplace
[00:57:47] And I would go around those studios and just go up to random people you know
[00:57:50] I'd be like do you know that the little girl from paultergeist was raped to death on that stage right there?
[00:57:55] And they're like, I'm sorry. What show are you writing on?
[00:57:57] Is that one of those most you know how they got the term daily double
[00:58:02] Uh, no, they would put oh, yeah, fuck her. That's right. They doubled
[00:58:07] Choo-choo-choo-choo-choo and that's the child rape bonus
[00:58:14] Okay, and we have an architect from columbus ohio glen
[00:58:18] And you actually have an interesting tidbit about this studio
[00:58:23] That's right. Alex say I'm big fan of blind items my my wife who's actually a gay man like me got me ended
[00:58:34] The little girl from the movie poltergeist actually was
[00:58:39] That's it. Hold on. She was raped to death here by you
[00:58:41] Um, did your back shave his mustache he did for a couple years and he grew it back. Fuck that
[00:58:49] No, is it back? It's back. Yeah, it's been back for no, I think he's unsure. What is what did your back do before hosting jeopardy?
[00:58:54] He was can a canadian is canada. He was the president canada
[00:59:00] Wasn't you guys one of those movies as I cursed and like a bunch of people died from it?
[00:59:05] Um, was that should I just a tv show host and then he was just like I'm just gonna do jeopardy
[00:59:10] Was he like a guy who knows a lot of facts? Uh, he was the smartest man in canada
[00:59:14] And then jordan peterson now that he left that he was the handable lector of canada. He ate
[00:59:24] You think jordan peterson could host jeopardy then no way
[00:59:43] If you pay attention to Disney Disney movies
[00:59:47] I was sorry because I watched all the Disney movies
[00:59:51] Is that what happened that's jordan peterson watching all the Disney movies. Yeah, yeah, he likes doing like lectures about like
[01:00:03] George jordan beaters beat beaters son of beaters son of yeah, does he have any children? No, he's gay
[01:00:16] Is there a type of gay is there a type of gay where you're just gay for yourself and you jack off in the mirror?
[01:00:21] Yeah, it's what you are it's called narcissist called adam free but that's gay though, right? Cause you're a guy adam
[01:00:27] What are you why you don't have to like say things like that? I know he chooses to he doesn't have to but he chooses to
[01:00:37] It's okay. No, no, it's okay. It's I'm sorry. Shh
[01:00:56] What else we got on the cross-war man 48 across
[01:01:00] 180 degrees from south by southwest north north by north east
[01:01:04] Come on. Oh, they're talking about rocking out. This is way too easy at that fest
[01:01:09] It's not fuck south by southwest about that. How about you?
[01:01:13] Also, somebody asked me to shout out fun church. I don't know what that is, but hey, fuck it. Go for it
[01:01:18] How about shout out to fun church? Oh, it's a guy on my twish kept asking me to do it. That was my wall
[01:01:23] I'm cutting. I'm cutting it up. Someone said it. Yeah. Cool. Yeah
[01:01:28] Uh, yeah, don't ever accuse me of being too scared to shout out something
[01:01:32] Oh, that'll work. I said you said you didn't want to do it because you were worried it was some child porn thing
[01:01:37] I don't give a shit. Mm-hmm. Did I say that? Yeah?
[01:01:40] I don't think I did. Oh, I some guys asked me to shout out something go ahead. Um, I just want to give a shout out to
[01:01:52] I don't know what that is, but he asked me to give a shout out to
[01:01:57] identity evropa bunch of good guys out there budget chill blokes evan williams
[01:02:06] They all do look like evan. Yeah, he's a but shorter. He's a specimen that boy
[01:02:13] Evan's almost not short. He's like maybe I'd say five seven. I tell you exactly a quarter inch taller than below the
[01:02:21] Short limit. Mm-hmm. But he's buff. So it makes you look shorter. Yeah, that's why you shouldn't get buffed
[01:02:26] Dude, you're gonna look even shorter. Um, you go wider. No, because you're gonna make you look
[01:02:30] I'm not sure you okay. You can't say that publicly. You're sure you can tell you can say that we're not friends
[01:02:37] Whatever lies you want, but you cannot call me short on this pro. Wow. I guess we discovered who's actually
[01:02:42] I was insecure as a younger person, but now I'm an I'm an of an average height. I'm five foot 10
[01:02:52] You're five. I'm not one inch taller than you're one. You're right because I'm gonna say hi. We're five seven and a half
[01:03:03] That is not true. That is not true. Yes, it is true. We're gonna talk about hair. How you look like fucking car
[01:03:10] Yeah, my hair just does that. That's just we're gonna say my your three quarters inches
[01:03:15] You think your hair into growing a certain you also wear high heels and when you are wearing high heels
[01:03:25] That is true. You're actually we're actually all the same height
[01:03:29] But you always wear stiletto heels you're always wearing women's shoes and your breast implants and your nails make you taller
[01:03:36] It's not women's shoes necklace makes you
[01:03:43] Male elevator shoes they were popular in the 1970s. I don't want to shit on him, but
[01:03:50] But the when you'll do the impression of him to talk like this, so you know I'm talking about
[01:03:56] It was pointed out to me. I didn't realize it and the next time I saw him I looked down and he's got custom shoes made with
[01:04:03] Heels, it's amazing. It's the funniest thing I've ever seen to go do open mites
[01:04:07] Like he's fucking David spade at the premiere of tommy boy. He's got custom fake shoes elevator. Hell yeah, dude
[01:04:17] Psycho path. Yeah. Yeah, they make elevator shoes that look at first glance like normal shoes
[01:04:23] They make them good that is so fucking humility. Yeah, it's I know as a short person
[01:04:27] I can't imagine ever doing you're not short. You're my you're kind of smaller than average. I'm sure that's short
[01:04:34] Short is like five like it's like nothing. No, it's five eight is short
[01:04:39] There's nothing wrong with being short. I feel like in australia. We're gonna be short. Yeah, why are people being on shit there?
[01:04:47] I can't wait to go uh to go from come boys to come blokes. You know I'm saying mm-hmm
[01:04:56] He needs to confront you in australia because you sexed it with this girl he fucked five years ago. Oh nice. Yeah, so
[01:05:01] Get ready for a confrontation. Yeah, that's cool. He's gonna throw a boomerang at your big dumb head. Yeah, I do tell him I said tell him
[01:05:09] I said tell when you talk to him tell him that I said to the girl. What's up? Yeah, okay?
[01:05:13] I will and then have you come at stavros. You're dealing with me too. He's the only one on the show is back. I have
[01:05:20] I'm gonna fight at him. You go you say whatever you want about Adam in real life
[01:05:23] You've had my back multiple times. That's true. So because you keep getting you keep fucking right. I carried you out of the way
[01:05:29] I get him like a mouthy girlfriend. We have to fight people about I can be a bitch sometimes
[01:05:35] But you're so the pussy so good the boy pussy so good. You're hooked on this pussy
[01:05:43] That's avoid it. That's this is just way too easy. It's the monday crossword
[01:05:50] Good at something and then it turns out to be for retards
[01:05:54] When there's definitely gonna be a guy that gets the new york times monday crossword and like plays along with us
[01:06:03] We'd yeah, we just start doing these yeah like a circular table and there's a picture of each of us
[01:06:11] He's like all right boys. He figures. I had to get each fucking audio input to talk out over the fucking
[01:06:51] Sit there with us while we do that is actually incredible
[01:07:00] And sell like four. Yeah. Yeah, no, I probably could sell he's one of those for about
[01:07:05] Easy easy money because it would have to have there would have to be a separate multi channel rss feed
[01:07:11] Mm-hmm then handles. I don't even know if rss feeds or mp3s can handle multi channel
[01:07:18] Yeah, let's pull it up the channel because you'd have to be like I don't know enough maybe three three different mp3s
[01:07:22] No, it could be the same mp3 because mp3s do have multi channel support. Mm-hmm. I don't know to what extent
[01:07:29] I mean, I mean if you're thinking cardboard cut out. I think left right center channel. Yeah. Yeah
[01:07:34] I think if you're thinking cardboard cut out, you might be thinking a little small
[01:07:37] It wouldn't be cardboard cut out. I would do it like finding a hall of mccasants
[01:07:41] Make a cabinet out of mdf and then get like some kind of big sticker
[01:07:45] Module module of dick. Yeah. Oh, you wouldn't do like animatronic heads like the hall of presidents that that would take
[01:07:52] That's takes way too much. Well, I'm the animatronic. I think we should put a little money. I mean listen
[01:07:56] We make money from the show. I think we could put a little rnd into it. Yeah, so we can make really nice dick
[01:08:03] Rnd and how about nrd you know I'm saying nope
[01:08:15] I just saw maybe people would like it if it was a melody
[01:08:18] I feel like we'll just keep going because this episode is so dumb, but I do want to
[01:08:21] Plug my Seattle dates real quick guys. I'm a pacific northwest. I'm gonna be at laughs in Seattle on the on june 28th at 830
[01:08:30] Please get those tickets and by the time you hear this the ticket link will be up for funhouse lounge in portland
[01:08:35] That is on tuesday july 3rd little pre holiday comedy show extravaganza
[01:08:41] So please get those also i'm going to be in road island on june 22nd a week before that with good old dug key
[01:08:48] Chode islands where chode island. It's where I live. I live on i live on chode island
[01:08:53] So uh go to stav comedy.com slash shows and there's links for all those please come out to those motherfuckers
[01:08:59] I would love to see you there. We're Adam. What are you doing? Why are you hiding on the other side of the room?
[01:09:03] I'm putting on your makeup. No, let's now. Let's continue with this crossover
[01:09:07] 40 across some showy blossoms informally
[01:09:15] informally, what did you say some showy some showy blossoms
[01:09:21] Um, it's one two three four five letters the second and third letter la
[01:09:30] Showy blossoms informally, it's not orchid
[01:09:35] This is the only hard one. I guess well the stake one was hard. It's 41 down
[01:09:39] It's what the question mark who cares so fuck but it's three letters what the ass
[01:09:45] What the what's the uh, what's the deal? What's the
[01:09:58] No, what's it maybe bfg? What's the big fucking what bfd? What's the big fucking deal?
[01:10:04] Yes, what's the bfd? That's not like a thing. Yeah, it is you ever heard that? What's the bfd?
[01:10:10] People say the thing. Yeah, bfd thing. Obviously you don't play crossword. So that's why you don't know how to cuss
[01:10:15] I know I learned how to cuss from the new york times cross will shorts. Yeah, you know where I learned how to fuck
[01:10:21] From the will shorts new york times crossword who is will shorts? He's like the crossword guy
[01:10:27] That's his whole thing. He makes crossword. Yeah, I think he's like a lawyer that was really good at puzzles. That sucks
[01:10:33] What a stupid fucking life. Yeah, he's probably really happy fuck him fuck. He's not why fuck him
[01:10:40] I know he makes a crossword every fucking day. That's smart. That sucks dick
[01:10:44] You gotta make sure all the letters work and all the blues. They're fucking boring. They're boring. They're not boring. They're fun
[01:10:50] It's literally just something you do when you're trying to get through the podcast
[01:10:54] You make 200 thousand dollars a year for it
[01:10:59] When you're tired of having to deal with your quote unquote friend
[01:11:04] What do you mean quote unquote quote unquote don't quote me
[01:11:08] Quote this dick. How about how about saying to a woman like yeah, I'm sorry about your rape un raped pussy
[01:11:17] Yeah, you just scare quotes and you say that is that what they're called scare? I always thought they were air quotes
[01:11:23] But then people say scare somebody everybody's mad at me for doing black on black face
[01:11:30] They're called air quotes the fuck what do you mean air scare quotes?
[01:11:33] Scare quotes when they're in text when you when you in text put quotation marks around something to like snarkily employee
[01:11:41] Like whenever anyone writes like they're so called comedian. Those are guys scared. I didn't know
[01:11:45] And why scar scar cat can we go to can we go back to what you just said black on black face
[01:11:51] Is it wrong for a black person to do black face
[01:11:56] Like a light skin black person like drake did black face and everyone's mad at him
[01:12:00] But like wait drake did black face. Yeah, he's in trouble right now for they found a picture from like 2008 where he did black
[01:12:07] That's not in the art section. It should be in your section. That would graffiti with consent means
[01:12:11] I don't know with consent. We'll see what your New York Times finds a new way to do black face
[01:12:18] Yeah, it's Kanye. Here's the way you're looking. You're looking at it all wrong
[01:12:21] It's not the drake did black face instead of jewish Canadian man did black face. Well, that's fucked up
[01:12:26] I think we can all agree. I just don't get I mean I
[01:12:30] It's far be it for me to say but it should be allowed. I gotta pull this up. I gotta see what the black
[01:12:35] I guess yeah, he's doing he's doing wild black face. I can't believe Nick. You missed this. This was like the biggest news of last week
[01:12:45] Yeah, it feels like you should be all over don't you have a google alert for black face comes up
[01:12:56] Damn, I want sushi dude. Yeah, yeah, I'm done. I'm gonna get salmon avocado. I gotta take the biggest shit in the world
[01:13:02] You that's the podcast. You know from now on guys. We're gonna go as long as possible until I have to shit
[01:13:07] I have to piss. Yeah, the bathroom stops the pod not Adams
[01:13:12] Interjections. What are we at right now? We're gonna be like an hour 20 hour 15 hour 15. We'll cut it in XXL Drake
[01:13:20] Blackface you didn't see this. No, I didn't see it man
[01:13:30] I'm gay. Yeah, push it to you racist tweets exposed after black blackface games. That's it
[01:13:36] No, I mean push it he had racist tweets push it. He's black as hell bro. Push it to you to Drake. You're a silent on all black issues
[01:13:45] Just look at Drake and Drake. Just look at the pictures all about push it. He yeah, they had a look at the push it
[01:13:51] Exposed the picture during their right battle. Drake explains blackface photo from push it. He seemed oh, yeah
[01:13:57] That's where he lost because he apologized. Yeah, never apologize come town rule number one never apologize
[01:14:03] Actually, that's a me rule. Well, I just adopted it. You've taught me I probably will apply protege
[01:14:11] Little mazas of me. I probably would apologize. Yeah, Adam's my protege, but he's more like a meada. You know, that's good. Yeah
[01:14:18] Yeah, Adam write that down so I can say it again
[01:14:30] Makes it my sense gay sense shut the fuck up
[01:14:49] Did you see the action by bonsai I'm ready for a blow?
[01:14:52] You didn't see the picture. I saw the pick cares, man. We were doing a riff about the mister morning. All right
[01:15:12] Set him up. We knock him down any word watch watch my ass dude
[01:15:16] He's doing the crane kick and then he switches they just lands on about the brain Adam doing the brain kick the brain kick
[01:15:22] We're sucking cock on top of the yeah a pile and we're kicking him and then while he's sucking our dick
[01:15:31] The finals of the karate tournament sucks that blonde kids did
[01:15:35] He's like what's happening and his coaches like you're gay now. You're off the team and they're like
[01:15:39] Like kobra kai lose by four feet by being kicked off team for being gay
[01:15:52] Nothing's gonna ever keep you down. You're the best around. He's just like wiping the cum off his head
[01:16:01] It wasn't good enough and the man's got to learn to take it
[01:16:04] And take it very hard inside your body you got to spread out real wide
[01:16:10] And if you get scared you'll tense open that's how you tear your asshole while being raped
[01:16:27] No amount of karate can save you because they have been locked up
[01:16:32] But 10 years just waiting for some new pussy
[01:16:40] They've been waiting so it's a recap everybody's gone the whole good day
[01:16:48] To recap an old Chinese man named mr. Miyake
[01:16:53] Has trained me in the art of sucking dick
[01:16:57] Yeah, who humiliated me at the beginning of the mooz I wish you never left Jersey
[01:17:03] Your father said california would do this to you. I didn't believe him. We've been here four hours
[01:17:10] You're already taking some lessons from some old Chinese guy
[01:17:17] Mr. Miyake teaches me where it's acting
[01:17:21] Set I think how southern california his single mom moves him from jersey to so-cal
[01:17:25] Right for a better life. Mm-hmm. It is a better life beat
[01:17:29] That's the most depressing thing in the world being a single mom. That's like if we just moved to sanibar
[01:17:33] I'll stop being a fucking whore. It's lovely. I know I won't be a whore that gets beat up by a boyfriend
[01:17:40] Out there. It's really not a life for my son. Then he just turns into a meth addict
[01:17:47] And I don't think they beat women there. Yeah, they do. They just smell like coconut
[01:17:52] And while you get beat that's the difference. Yeah, they do it with avocado
[01:17:58] Fish california style fish tacos and this is what jake says
[01:18:02] Uh, I know everyone is enjoying the circus
[01:18:06] But I want to clarify this image in question
[01:18:08] This was not from a clothing brand shoot or my music career
[01:18:11] This picture is from 2007 a time in my life when I was an actor and I was working on a project
[01:18:16] That was about young black actors struggling to get roles
[01:18:18] Being stereotyped in typecast the photos were represented
[01:18:22] Boaters represented how african-americans were once wrongfully portrayed in entertainment
[01:18:29] Uh mazin elsadig who is an actor from sudan. Oh, that's not black sucking hella. Yeah
[01:18:40] Yeah, attempting use our voice to bring awareness the it's just blackface. Yeah, he's just doing blackface. Yeah
[01:18:45] Why didn't he just just take the help? Why does he just say I'm fucking black you idiot?
[01:18:51] Yeah, I'm black. I don't understand why he didn't do that because like I say the n-word in every one of my songs
[01:18:56] Same fucking thing because he's I don't know he's jewish and he
[01:19:00] He worries about not being thought of that's problematic to say that someone with one white parent one black parent isn't
[01:19:07] I know why but but he no no it's not problem. I didn't say
[01:19:11] Drake has had in his life probably man a man
[01:19:13] I think he has it. I mean we know that he's literally
[01:19:16] So at least every time he leaves his house. It's true
[01:19:18] He's followed around stores. Well what push it t-sad is more likely to be like every black person with a blog
[01:19:24] He's more likely to be shot to death by police. We hear that story every day
[01:19:27] You know every single day another writer for the root is murdered by the police
[01:19:32] And so that's that's who the police go after
[01:19:38] Rich fat people that happen to be dark even though they talk like autistic white people
[01:19:42] That's who's getting it. You know it's not jor black people who don't know how to blog
[01:19:48] What pushes he said in the in the song is that
[01:19:51] His mother got fucked by some guy in a steve harvey suit. Yeah, then great lie abandoned
[01:20:06] We got oh this month the papa did he say that that was a lot of my mother fuck by somebody in steve harvey suit
[01:20:11] Yeah, it's it he I don't know those exact words, but he did say steve harvey suit, which was like
[01:20:17] Good one. Yeah, he got to go any else exposed for having a fake son
[01:20:20] Well, he has a his secret family. Yeah, jr. He's got a little jr. Well then they said it was with a porn star
[01:20:25] So then obviously I went on fucking porn hub to see
[01:20:29] Videos she doesn't have any hardcore videos. She just shows her pussy. Yeah, she's barely a soft core
[01:20:34] She's not a fucking porn star. She's hot though. I would fuck her. No, she's a butterface
[01:20:38] I like I like a little little stan. She's I mean, she's got a big bug fat ass. Yeah, she's a pog
[01:20:43] Drake has a secret baby with a pog. I love pogs named Adonis
[01:20:48] But you know what it's just gossip, you know
[01:20:51] Yeah, it is people in the 90s were killing each other. This is an Adam Friedland rap fact, you know
[01:20:57] People die because they should kill each other. I think they should kill each other
[01:21:00] You should think one of them should kill the other right now. They're like, uh, you're it's just whatever
[01:21:05] Mm-hmm. Damn. We really had something going with the crossword thing. Oh that crop. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
[01:21:15] That ever made inside my life and I fucked
[01:21:18] All right, I gotta take it down, but we gotta eat that sushi. All right, that's good. All right. Thanks everybody
[01:21:23] Um anything else? No, uh, auto bar august 12 whatever
[01:21:26] Funny moms. Oh funny moms this Monday next Monday next Monday when you're hearing this the 12th
[01:21:31] Yeah, the 11th of the 12th or something. Okay, uh, christa stefanos on that uh someone else is on it
[01:21:37] Yeah, it's gonna be a good show and yeah, seattle poreland and road island this month go for me guys
[01:21:42] Please come out and check those out. Bye. Later