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Ep. 107 - Rubiks tube

Cum Town | Regular | 06/14/2018

[00:00:00] And we're all believe the convenient rumors in the medical community
[00:00:07] Welcome to mother fucking come town. It's me hard dick Alkis with my
[00:00:12] Friends. Mm-hmm. My name is Rebecca Jewish from the heck bent podcast
[00:00:17] Word podcast we've got Becky Jewish. Yeah
[00:00:21] Out of Friedlands the other Jewish the other Jewish woman
[00:00:25] Hmm actually, let me let talk again. I just want to give a really heck. Yeah, shout out to Robert De Niro
[00:00:31] Who this week said what we were all thinking F Donald Trump F who's CK?
[00:00:38] That's right. We're gonna say it. I'm just starting to F word countdown
[00:00:41] What's I'm just playing with the levels, you know, I'm still on the fucking I'm still the super on the boards
[00:00:45] They're on the board look a little too high. I mean cuz I tell you now when
[00:00:50] They should be at five. They shouldn't be higher than that
[00:00:52] Which ones all of them and yours should be a little bit below it might sound quiet to you
[00:00:57] But it's gonna fucking clip when you start yelling and then when I edited it sounds like shit. Okay. Well here
[00:01:03] There we go everyone. We've got it now. All right. I go back to doing that Jewish girl. Yeah, do it
[00:01:08] to I don't know I lost it
[00:01:12] I started thinking about the technique. Oh, yeah, yeah, go ahead
[00:01:16] Thank you. I can't man. It's so hard for me to get into character. I've been teaching Adam how to act. He's in a commercial
[00:01:22] This no, I'm not yeah, I say what it is. Yeah, we're not gonna say that it's for
[00:01:28] We're not good. Don't worry. We know the consequences of yeah, everyone knows that we're all commercial actors
[00:01:33] And we all yeah, muckily mean you can we're good at our craft and we can blend in or stop can basically only play the seven up dot
[00:01:41] Coca-Cola
[00:01:43] I'm waiting for that reboot for that polar bear. Yeah, like a gritty
[00:01:49] That'd be tight. Yeah, dude a global warming some my first all yellow and fucked up
[00:01:58] My hair cuz the the ice color caps of all melted
[00:02:02] That's right. That's right and all I need and my fucking sons about really thinking about damn
[00:02:07] I'm about to die, but all I want is some sweet Coca-Cola for Christmas on the way out
[00:02:11] Mm-hmm. Let me get a coke on the cool if the zoo opened for Christmas and then they forced read the polar bears coca-cola
[00:02:17] So the children could watch open up their presents as a hose that was jammed down a nostril of
[00:02:26] Canoot the baby polar bear you know, you remember canoe there was a baby polar bear named canoe. I do not know it was like ten years ago
[00:02:34] It was like this like everybody's obsessed with this cute baby polar bear whatever and I did I was dating this girl
[00:02:40] That really loved that bear and I told her it died
[00:02:44] That was drunk and I do something vindictive. She's like oh no and then like a week later it died
[00:02:50] Whoa was it in captivity or just a ring captivity? Okay. Yeah canoe. Let me look that. Oh dude. You fucking called it
[00:02:57] You cursed that fuck that was that's just like one of those things that happens in life for you like maybe I am psychic
[00:03:04] I used to do that shit with green lights and red lights when I was a child
[00:03:08] Yeah, you thought you could canoe. Yeah December March 2011 was the orphan polar bear in born in captivity
[00:03:17] Orphan yeah rejected by his mother at birth. He was raised by zookeepers. Damn. What a fucking loser
[00:03:23] Yeah, he was the first polar bear cub to survive past infancy at the Berlin Zoo in more than 30 years. Yes, we would help him
[00:03:29] Yeah, we would have to fall down and shit so killed every baby bear
[00:03:33] Where's the time rat? I guess we forget that oh, yeah, I gotta do that thing shut up
[00:03:38] What thing dude, no, we don't have ads
[00:03:42] Sometimes talk about product. I can't believe that guy fucking message me. He's like yo
[00:03:47] Is do you really have to do the ads on the free episode? It's a free fucking episode
[00:03:52] Really fucking ruins the show I've shut the fuck I've started having to fast forward. Oh, no
[00:03:58] Yeah, use your fucking pudgy ass fingers. Yeah 15 second mark bitch. Yeah, sorry your mom's fingers were too busy
[00:04:05] Massaging my process with the rubbing every part of my dick and ass
[00:04:10] Fast forward through the fucking ads for you. Yeah, you know whose mom is it's the nurse to play the nurse from
[00:04:17] That's movie where stiffler gets his fingers his ass fingered. That's who your mom
[00:04:23] She's reprising the role right now
[00:04:27] Fingers in all three of our asses pal
[00:04:30] You're a trip, right? You're a no no road trip road original the original was your trip
[00:04:36] Was a sequel it was a spiritual sequel. Yeah, I don't think it had any of the same characters
[00:04:42] But it was yeah that girl Harriet the spy was in it and she flashed people you see here the spies
[00:04:47] Titties I don't think you see the titties. I think you see her naked back, but for me that was all
[00:04:51] That's not actually Harriet's this stand wants me to make a video promoting the new. Oh, yeah
[00:05:00] That's you can do it. That seems lame to me and I'm not doing it
[00:05:04] So I'll just shout out the new one first of all don't try to convince me to do some sort of stupid fucking promo
[00:05:10] Stavros. I'm not doing man. Just do it for the stand. No, they book us all time. I know they're great club
[00:05:15] It's a great club. I'm not gonna do a fucking video
[00:05:17] I can't really imbecile that's the problem. Yeah, so do your video. We're separate people with different careers
[00:05:24] It jeopardizes my career to say I'm not doing a scripted video
[00:05:28] It I've said numerous times. It's a fucking good club. I don't know who that videos who doesn't know me and they're like that guy looks trustworthy
[00:05:36] Video me saying oh wait till you see how I'm dressed tonight, dude. Yeah, I'm got I'm gonna show black Hawaiian
[00:05:42] Yeah, we're going to funny moms after the Mm-hmm. Yeah, we got a fun night ahead of us
[00:05:46] Anyways, the new ones on like 16th. It's wherever the fucking brother. The brother Jimmy's is now
[00:05:51] It'll open up probably and I don't know two or two to five years
[00:05:56] Whenever they get the stench barbecue out of that. Oh, I hope they never do dude. I'm just gonna fucking yeah
[00:06:01] I hope there's ribs left over when they open the club. Yeah, I guess anyway, so yeah the state stands closing
[00:06:07] Great club. They're moving to wherever that brother is on 16th, and I think like Irving
[00:06:13] So yeah, so not far that's such a good club for the people in this podcast to do stand. Yeah, it's great
[00:06:18] I think it's like yeah, it's been so nice for everyone that's a serious actually end up
[00:06:22] Community on the didn't tell you guys but Patrick from the stance and me a message
[00:06:27] What is that when the new club opens up? He wants me to go to a 5 p.m. Bringer Mike
[00:06:34] Laughing Buddha, it's awesome. Yeah, I would literally come I would pay to see you do a mine. I remember there was a
[00:06:39] I remember I'm supporting my friends with I went to one of those I went to one of those
[00:06:43] Just because like when I first moved here Patrick was like you can do the paid mics
[00:06:46] But you don't have to pay for him. It's like perfect that'll like I can do this early afternoon Mike
[00:06:50] Yeah, so I went to one of them
[00:06:52] I didn't even bother going up
[00:06:53] But it's like sitting there and like some guy bombs because it's just other people yeah
[00:06:57] Yeah, and then he gets off stage and then whoever the like round bitch
[00:07:00] It was running the fucking open mic is gets on stage and she goes yeah
[00:07:04] Just something you should know is you never ever want to get off stage before you see the light because you don't know
[00:07:09] What's going on in the club or what's happening?
[00:07:12] This is a chance to learn the you got a little technical aspects of comedy, which is like you can literally be an
[00:07:19] abject fucking like incompetent
[00:07:25] Heroin addict yes, and still do stand up comedy if you're funny. Yes already goes on stage and bombs
[00:07:33] On drugs and probably going back to prison
[00:07:36] He fucking just tweet he's like he's like I'm probably going back to prison
[00:07:41] It doesn't fucking there's no like there's no degree of professionalism required if you're fine
[00:07:46] It's the only thing that fucking matters if you think you're gonna become a professional comedian because like well
[00:07:51] Yeah, I'll tell you one thing about that guy. He did exactly five minutes. Yeah
[00:07:57] Am I second am I second Mike I ever I got someone threatened to beat me up
[00:08:03] Mmm the guy that was hosting it you remember that guy. Yes already already already got he had like a ten-year sentence
[00:08:10] Like suspended or something, but he's on probation for like a long time like four years or something like do you guys?
[00:08:15] There's a while yeah, I got pulled the egg up pulled over like a year and a half ago with like fucking 80 bags of heroin
[00:08:21] Yeah, those old stirrence where he talks about the arrest or like some I just read it back because I did
[00:08:27] I was reading through our subreddit, which is a treat
[00:08:29] But yeah, come on and then I went to what can't do that bro. What hey? Why not?
[00:08:34] It just you'll see bad things and it'll make you sad. No, I actually enjoy it. Yeah, they like you I don't even when they don't
[00:08:41] I don't care. It's funny. Yeah, the Opie and Anthony one though. I took a trip over to that one is beautiful
[00:08:47] Oh, yeah, that was the it is the funniest thing in the entire fucking world because it's them just like you know
[00:08:52] Any woman is even remotely related to the show no because they don't I don't I can't really tell but like they're not as racist as
[00:08:59] Ant is and they kind of make fun of them for being racist. Oh really? Yeah, I thought they hate Opie
[00:09:04] They hate everyone except Colin Quinn
[00:09:11] Every single person related to show Colin Quinn and then Patrice who's like dead. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, they hate
[00:09:18] That's so fucking they hate fucking all of them except Colin
[00:09:21] Respect Colin Quinn. Well, I was reading it
[00:09:23] I was like I was laughing so hard and you get to like page four and there was like one post on the bread
[00:09:28] That was uh does anyone here actually like Opie and Anthony?
[00:09:35] There's a people being like no, not really
[00:09:42] So wait people are still posting on that shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like where they talk to their friends
[00:09:47] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, if you have I'd never got into forums, man, I don't understand either
[00:09:52] I just use the internet to jack off
[00:09:54] Mm-hmm. I mean, I'm sure there's people that post on the come town subreddit that don't even listen to the show anymore
[00:09:58] That sounds that they're just friends with other people
[00:10:00] Yeah, this is misconception that it's like yeah
[00:10:02] There are only people that exist to be fans of the show and that's not really how things work at all
[00:10:07] I used to read it like a couple months ago because there was one guy that was just amazing
[00:10:12] But I think he got he quit or got kicked. Is this you trying to plug your own secret account?
[00:10:16] No, no, no, it doesn't be the best takes about us and who was the best he secretly?
[00:10:25] But he somebody told me that anytime there was a negative post about you there would always be exactly one
[00:10:32] flag
[00:10:35] There's just some gay guy defending me online. Yeah, yeah, that's what it was
[00:10:41] Technically, you're right
[00:10:43] This guy was like
[00:10:45] He would talk about like this
[00:10:49] He would talk about clues that Nick would send him I don't have a fucking reddit account my girlfriend has a reddit account
[00:10:54] Oh, really and she posts on the code on so that Dasha. It's your fault. Yeah
[00:10:59] flagship she would never do that. No, she's playing courage. She's a shit poster. Yeah
[00:11:05] No, um, he used to talk about like clues that Nick was sending him and stuff like in the episodes
[00:11:10] Yeah, Nick was doing that. He was doing that. Yeah. Yeah, I think I was right whoever it was
[00:11:16] If you put the clues together, you get a job at the CIA
[00:11:20] It's a national treasure type that's the saddest part about schizophrenia is realizing you're not actually working for the CIA
[00:11:27] You've just been like collecting your own feces for months. Yeah, just been thousands on red. I've been eating shit
[00:11:36] And I'm not James Bond
[00:11:38] That's heartbreaking we need this kid in college that lost it right after college and he I
[00:11:44] Guess someone came because he was posting some crazy
[00:11:46] I'll tell you who came to me. No, like the police like came after that guys
[00:11:50] But Ari Ari had to like trips it him like waiting for his parents to pick him up
[00:11:55] And he was just smoking like fat blunts and watching
[00:11:59] Hell yeah, and then just turning to Ari and being like this is what it's all about
[00:12:02] This is what the game is all about like this is what you don't understand like this is what my life is like
[00:12:07] I'd like yeah, he thought the government was trying to kill him and stuff. Yeah, and then his mom and dad picked him
[00:12:11] What's he up to now? I don't know that guy from that threesome story about Irwin
[00:12:16] Yeah, yeah, yeah
[00:12:17] So that guy was bipolar and he had like some huge freak out like god, you know, they had in the threesome
[00:12:23] No, no, this was like he held down in fun months
[00:12:27] Later
[00:12:30] College mark and he fucking they had like a backyard the backyard had like bamboo
[00:12:34] Yeah, and so the guy went nuts and then like thought it was a jungle or something
[00:12:38] Yeah, and the guy was enormous
[00:12:39] He was like six eight and like fucking was back there with like an axe and
[00:12:45] And his roommate was like terrified because he was being threatened by him the whole time Jesus
[00:12:54] What do you even do if a nude six eight men with an axe tries to kill you I enjoy enjoy the ride
[00:13:01] life is a
[00:13:02] Life is a ride. It's a highway. Yeah, I get my
[00:13:07] I'm really annoyed with all these people that are like just in awe of are you listening to come down in the other room?
[00:13:18] Just listen to this one
[00:13:22] I'm about to go in on these about that go off
[00:13:27] Oh, yeah, dude, we're just going for Danes fine
[00:13:31] But just all the people that have turned this into like, you know like Bowie. It's become Bowie. No, it's not even Bowie
[00:13:36] It's people talking about their own depression not their own. That's not even where I was going with go with go with
[00:13:40] Go with all of these like this like just travel, you know
[00:13:45] Like those people yeah the fucking like the answer to depression is spending the money that most people don't have to be rich
[00:13:51] Yeah, they're right exactly being judged and they're like
[00:13:54] Posting the phone number for the suicide hotline on Twitter like people that want to kill themselves
[00:14:00] Can't Google the suicide hotline right like they're not gonna go to your shitty ass Twitter account also the success rate of the suicide hotline
[00:14:07] Has to be exactly zero
[00:14:11] There's no way calling movie phone prevents you. Yeah, do you want to kill yourself?
[00:14:17] I've read a sketch and I was 19. Oh, you showed it to me. It's called the suicide hotline and gets like a black lady
[00:14:23] One time we're on
[00:14:26] I don't
[00:14:31] Know you call in don't kill much I say don't do it. That's it. Can I help you?
[00:14:38] Do you have any more questions
[00:14:43] Yeah, that's great sucks the manager and the managers trying to sell him direct TV
[00:14:47] Okay before you kill yourself. Yeah, yeah, I need those I need those
[00:14:56] Jump oh
[00:15:02] Yeah, I used to be a head and I was a I was a
[00:15:06] One one time in my life, you know, I did I think one time ever
[00:15:11] The sketch once yeah
[00:15:13] That's 19 you did that all that Nicole stuff when you were that's true
[00:15:19] Podcast is just gonna turn into reminding me of things that I've done whatever and this is funny
[00:15:23] Yeah, people like having speaking of people who have done things
[00:15:28] Liam if you're out there and you haven't killed yourself yet, please don't yeah, I'm or at least make it clear that it's
[00:15:35] Adam's fault
[00:15:37] Put that in the note don't jump. Yeah
[00:15:40] Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I guess people are worried about him damn that would suck if he actually killed himself
[00:15:46] That'd be kind of fucking little dick it if you ask me. Yeah
[00:15:50] Don't insult him on I would know
[00:15:53] Especially considering that's one of the reasons he's doing it doesn't have a little dick does he yeah
[00:15:58] I think he has a strong powerful ass. He's a dwarf spiness
[00:16:03] Can't say some type of
[00:16:05] A Doris penis I just could I just imagine chopping up little trees and shit
[00:16:12] Filing around Snow White with a little fucking birds. Yeah
[00:16:16] buddy
[00:16:18] Yeah, we miss you. I think that's illegal to do in Canada to have a small day to kill yourself
[00:16:23] Yeah, oh like if you attempt suicide you have to go to jail. Yeah, you got a Canadian jail
[00:16:30] Six made out of milk moose made out of paper mache
[00:16:33] Hey based on trailer bark boys Canadian jail some kind of cool. Yeah, you just play hot floor hockey
[00:16:39] That's right. I you smell you sell weed. You know if you jerk off a moose. It comes maple syrup does it?
[00:16:46] Mm-hmm. That's how you get it. Yeah, that's what uh right from the tap
[00:16:50] All right, so you saw hereditary I did and you you had a little performance you want you prepared for us
[00:16:55] Yeah, you started with it's not even scary, which is hilarious. I didn't get scary damn
[00:16:59] You're still fucking I got stoned for it, which I haven't been doing you're afraid of everything. I am
[00:17:05] I was actually mostly afraid of this guy that was sitting in our row
[00:17:09] There's a weird bug. You get me and Dasha
[00:17:12] And then okay, it's done
[00:17:15] It's over you kept looking at you. Yeah, like the entire movie
[00:17:19] You think he wanted to fuck you Adam
[00:17:21] I thought that maybe he liked come town or something then Dasha was like maybe it's just a regular crazy person
[00:17:26] Yeah, I think why do you say anything you know who would have I know what's J Gomez. Yeah, let's J Gomez
[00:17:32] Yeah, what the fuck you look at it?
[00:17:35] And then spent nine episodes of his podcast
[00:17:39] It was weird yet we I went to the P after the movie. You don't look at a guy when he's with his chick, bro
[00:17:44] Yeah, that's disrespectful first of all. It's not my fault. I showed up the movie 35 minutes late
[00:17:50] And then sat on that man's lap
[00:17:52] Yeah
[00:17:55] Yeah, if I was supposed to sit on your lap they wouldn't have sold me a ticket
[00:18:00] Okay, they didn't sell me a ticket, but still no one was looking when I walked in
[00:18:07] Yeah, I didn't think it was scary didn't have a lot of jumps. Yeah, what a gay review. That's great
[00:18:14] That's not really I don't know a lot about us
[00:18:17] Genre films part of me and I fuck up. I said scary movies and they got mad at me
[00:18:22] Genre films doesn't mean scary movies
[00:18:24] I could say that's what they call them, but it's not horror people get mad if you call it horror
[00:18:29] Interesting people. There's a whole thing about hereditary isn't horror or it is horror and
[00:18:34] Fuck you know what I was arguing about a movie sucked that came out a couple years ago. Mommy dearest
[00:18:40] not
[00:18:41] Or something
[00:18:43] Sucky fuck now that like Viennese movie it was like
[00:18:47] It's about little sausages a Vienna movie. Yeah, it's like a Austrian horror movie
[00:18:51] Oh, the only German East movie. I know is huh before the ski slope. No, it's about the girl the woman
[00:18:56] She's got her face all fuck. There's your face. It's like cover up. Not Bob. That's Australia. I'm a motherfucker
[00:19:02] I know what Bob do you guess that's not it is that scary Friday the Friday the great
[00:19:08] Is it Friday the third? Maybe if you like if you like those kind of movies you'd like her as there
[00:19:12] I was way more scared of the the Johnson's I wasn't scared
[00:19:17] But I was like actively fell horny if you wanted to fuck your dad of course. Yeah, of course
[00:19:22] No, you might you were worried you might see men having sex away supposed to be performed between a son and a father
[00:19:29] violently
[00:19:30] Instead of the delicate way you commit
[00:19:33] Population yeah, of course. That's a big you're rolling out feel it
[00:19:37] I'd be on the Italian Riviera and there's to be a beautiful sunset
[00:19:40] And I have to be shaking slightly and he has to hold me close to his hairy chest beat off in a peach and eat it
[00:19:46] Yeah, exactly did they did that in that movie right they did yeah
[00:19:52] The game like your dad like we like your dad
[00:19:57] It was my favorite movie last year. Yeah
[00:20:01] Army hammers, I think like the one guys like 18 and he's like 25 or something. Yeah army hammers older than that
[00:20:07] Army hammers gonna be like 34 years old. Yeah, I think in the movie he's like
[00:20:11] It is you got you got you got you then you can boy push you can yeah
[00:20:15] You can tell because when they take their pants off the older man has nicer underwear in fact it reminds me of
[00:20:22] Mac welding underwear whoa really purchase at Mac welding calm
[00:20:26] It's very simple easy quick fun shopping experience if you're a gay man that's having done it my son
[00:20:32] gay man as a gay man myself
[00:20:34] When I go on my European vacations to commit petarassie I
[00:20:42] Love going to Mac welding calm and checking out their smart designs and premium fabrics
[00:20:48] Damn all that gay sex must make your dick smell bad smells pretty fucking bad luckily they have a line of silver
[00:20:55] Yeah, naturally anti microbial shirts and underwear
[00:20:58] Which will suck all that odor right out of you and you blend right in with the rest of the French people now
[00:21:04] What if you're used to fucking with all kinds of secret gay underwear and you don't actually like the Mac weldens?
[00:21:10] Well, I'll tell you what if you don't like the underwear you can complain and they'll refund you whoa you can keep the underwear
[00:21:15] No questions asked but you won't because of the most comfortable pair underwear you'll ever have no and not only they look good
[00:21:21] They perform well to see where I'm to the gym to the movie theater
[00:21:25] You know both the regular kind the kind you're allowed to get a heart on it
[00:21:28] Check them out go to Mac welding calm and use promo code come town CUMT O WN to get 20% off your order
[00:21:35] Hell yeah, you know you'll be corn hole in young lads in no time
[00:21:40] Well, you know I feel bad for Pee Wee Herman. Yeah. Yeah me too. Yeah, cuz he sort of had to come back with mystery
[00:21:46] Man, but then it didn't stick. No, he's always like I feel like every six years. He's in something
[00:21:52] Was he he was in a blow remember that yeah, he was that was weird was that that was post arrest?
[00:21:58] We should get him in some you know I mean she get a mama's podcast that would rule we're doing an uve Pee Wee episode
[00:22:05] That would be great. Come town takes Vancouver. Hell yeah
[00:22:09] Yeah, literally go bad for that guy. We could have Vancouver then San Francisco
[00:22:13] I was talking the other day about that scene in taxi driver where he takes Candace Bergen on a date to
[00:22:19] a porn movie theater and he's like yeah, what's the matter like a lot of couples do this
[00:22:26] One of the first things sells yeah Travis well actually I did I
[00:22:32] Movie review I I of a movie
[00:22:34] I liked as the day before I saw it first reform then which is the new Paul Schrader movie which is here
[00:22:40] Not Paul she didn't know but it is it is sort of like a companion to taxi driver
[00:22:45] But it's different because the guy doesn't do terrorism because he gets laid at the end hell yeah spoilers
[00:22:51] Whoa yeah, you actually tax a driver he doesn't get laid and then he goes on a killing spree and this movie
[00:22:57] How about a movie called a Black Sea driver?
[00:23:01] And instead of a taxi is a black sea
[00:23:03] Get you those news mixtape the whole time yeah, yeah, yeah try to sell you a lot of the call uber sad black seas
[00:23:09] Black Sea oh black sea gal said a Banksy Black Sea
[00:23:16] Yeah, it is so funny taking an uber or a lift in a place
[00:23:19] That's not New York cuz you're just so adjusted to the names here that it's a
[00:23:23] African guy you're you're a richard will be here to be here richer. He's like how you doing brother
[00:23:29] It's like now you gotta talk to Richard
[00:23:31] Yeah, we're in LA like every time that week everyone's trying to talk
[00:23:38] I know we were like it should be like I feel like everyone's in fucking
[00:23:41] Yeah, you're you just want to go where you're going it's the worst when I'm talking like you're well
[00:23:45] I wasn't grand haven I had the fucking whole conversation about a guy's like small business plan
[00:23:49] Yeah, it's so funny to realize how many people are named a boobah car
[00:23:55] Like there's a country there or it's like
[00:23:57] San Diego name a boobah car and they're like, okay. Yeah, John Bob is
[00:24:04] Arrested for giving a fake name to the police you ever read the reviews on there
[00:24:07] It's fucking cringe worthy on like of like people like on uber you can review your driver and then it you can
[00:24:15] Nothing but drunk white women. Yeah. Yeah, it's no way anyone is sleeping. Yeah. Yeah, it's always like Deborah saying like thank you so much
[00:24:20] Fucking you don't even fucking it on my phone was lost, but you didn't even fucking because I didn't even my
[00:24:30] I don't you box because it's my first of all my fucking birthday
[00:24:37] For starters fucking Bergo see is you know who my dad is
[00:24:43] Do you search you seriously say that to me?
[00:24:46] You sure say that no I didn't Brian come back. I'm getting this man fire
[00:24:56] Damn what kind of reviews are you looking at Adam?
[00:24:59] There was one I saw which made made me like want to throw up which was like thanks for sharing your pussy
[00:25:05] No, you're like thanks for sharing your culture with us. Oh my god, which is like oh my god
[00:25:10] I love just getting in a boobah cars. She can tell you a sham or he's playing a skull like a bongo
[00:25:15] Thanks for telling me about Darfur
[00:25:18] How do you do that? So I go to lift and then I go to what you go when you when you I think it's on uber
[00:25:24] I don't know if you do it to yeah, why not? It's the same shit. It's just as bad. No, they're the rape company
[00:25:29] They raped more they raped no no they did a whole commercial
[00:25:36] Now it's a
[00:25:38] Rape these commercials that Facebook have that's like yeah, yeah, we sold all your data to Chinese terrorists
[00:25:47] You know what Facebook is about friendship
[00:25:51] Remember your gay uncle was in a band. It's really
[00:25:54] Chechens have your social security number now. Yeah, yeah the new the uber one that's like that though
[00:25:59] We're sorry ad is I guess they replaced the guy who was like raping women who he worked with like the old CEO
[00:26:05] You said shit to sexually assaulting or some shit and then they hired some Indian dude
[00:26:13] Yes, please I do not know
[00:26:16] I am just some Indian man. I'm just a man from India
[00:26:21] I should not have this position
[00:26:24] I am just some Indian
[00:26:29] Yeah, just they just plucked up a random guy off the street of
[00:26:32] I bird dad in my country. I was the best at shoplifting bananas
[00:26:38] I was not one of the doctors who come here and have a shit job. I was a banana shop
[00:26:51] Well, Sparkles got a fucking they got sorry commercials to yeah
[00:26:54] Yeah, they were like they were creating a bunch of fraudulent accounts and like just fucking out people's credit Jesus Christ
[00:27:01] Yeah, and then just no penalties whatsoever
[00:27:05] Yeah, no one go there's zero fucking accountability a bunch of mid-level managers were fired
[00:27:10] And they were like kind of forcing to doing that shit because like quotas or whatever
[00:27:14] Yeah, and then you know I the federal government make a display of like we're really gonna stick it to them
[00:27:25] That immediately just gets passed on to the customers
[00:27:28] Of course it happens all the time like Verizon will just like get dinged for deceptive practices or whatever and then it just shows up on your bill
[00:27:35] Yeah, it just immediately gets distributed to everyone's bill the company doesn't pay for it at all
[00:27:40] What a fucking gay-ass system. Yeah
[00:27:43] The shit sucks dick. Mm-hmm good thing though. We're rich though
[00:27:48] Yeah, you know, but I even use Verizon dude. I got we got secret podcaster phone company. That's true
[00:27:54] I do love that Lewis is still on like cricket mobile. Yeah, yeah, so Lewis has like boost mobile
[00:28:00] Lewis has a next hell I ate 30 and he's still
[00:28:05] Yeah, dude, it's the best phone. It's the hottest phone
[00:28:09] Everyone everyone at the boss tells me
[00:28:15] What were those next cell phones that you could just like walkie-talkie is all
[00:28:18] Yeah, there was all those it was with next cell phone. It was for like people on construction sites or something, right?
[00:28:24] Sort of I mean it was kind of like a more of an urban thing. Yeah. Yeah was it?
[00:28:28] Yeah, it was so the government couldn't hear your chirp when you yelled well cuz sure that the two way was unlimited
[00:28:33] Yeah, but I remember that people loved the two. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so like you could like and then they love screaming at the phone
[00:28:41] The band that on the bus what the people like like chirp chirp
[00:28:45] I'm Metro bus. They'd like to admitted no fucking screaming at the
[00:28:51] Now where you at where you at which was the commercial that was the boost mobile. Yeah that rules. Yeah
[00:28:58] But yeah, the 830 was like the the hot one and then the 930 came out and I was like
[00:29:03] Damn the next cell I 930. What's next up to these days? It went out of business. They got brought by sprint
[00:29:09] Yeah, that's right. They get put by yeah cuz next cell used so there's the the
[00:29:14] Tower technology is like GSM and CDMA. It was like different competing technology
[00:29:20] Basically the whole rest of the world uses a GSM. Okay, which is like the sim card sex machine jiggy sex machine
[00:29:27] That's like sim cards that specific tower technology in the US or is that competing technologies?
[00:29:32] There was TDMA CDMA GSM and then some other shit. I got you and then eventually towards like Blu-ray and
[00:29:39] HD disc. Yeah, yeah, sort of and then towards the middle of like the last
[00:29:45] Decade all that was left was like GSM CDMA and
[00:29:49] Iden and next cell was like the only Iden network and Iden allowed you to do like the two-way like worldwide fucking church world wide
[00:29:57] Yeah, they're talking some other fucking Mumbai. I'm sure yeah. Yeah, we're you. I am over here doing it. I
[00:30:03] Am on the bus. Oh damn. You can still buy a
[00:30:09] 930 dude, this is how shitty this hundred bucks. Look how shitty this phone is
[00:30:14] Oh, dude, but that was the key. I mean that shit when I was in the 11th or 9th grade. That was the hot
[00:30:20] Was that we get dialed in dude?
[00:30:22] No, no, no, I was playing a show
[00:30:24] Notch it was there was no internet whatsoever. I remember when the star tech phones came out of thought it was sick
[00:30:29] But you there was in 1993
[00:30:31] Was it 93 star tech phones probably like those like flip phones that look like Star Trek
[00:30:37] I always thought that they were just the same as star. They came on the early 90s
[00:30:42] They had him they had him around for a while my friends mom had a star tech. Yeah, I had a hand me down
[00:30:47] 96 no they had to move to Australia real
[00:30:51] Because his dad was doing some tax star techs. Oh, there's a like shit. Yeah
[00:30:56] Star tech suck no star tax were good dude. They last like tri-band phone left
[00:31:02] So they have like different frequencies that the phones can use on the towers and like star techs
[00:31:07] Use like all three before one of them got like phased out
[00:31:11] Better reception, okay. Yeah, this is now a
[00:31:16] Cell phone, you know so much about cell phone. I used to sell this shit. Yeah, but still
[00:31:21] I still feel like no one else knew that when they you're selling like the other fucking the Bangladesh
[00:31:27] Of course not the Peruvian guys I work with Armando
[00:31:32] Armando Armando and this guy who's funny guy this big fat
[00:31:45] That guy's a fucking loser
[00:31:47] Who sent you that video of what the guy with Down syndrome having sex with that car? Yeah
[00:31:54] My god, that was so fucking funny. That was your moment is end
[00:32:03] Just fucking the car and I look where was his dick go of that. He's like the height of the car
[00:32:08] He's just got his fucking like it was perfectly aligned. Yeah, it did look like he was meant to fuck that car. Yeah, right
[00:32:17] That's so and it's like that doesn't feel good
[00:32:24] Metal bumper
[00:32:28] I guess well and there's a woman in the he job walking past in the back
[00:32:32] So, you know, it's like Saudi Arabia where women aren't allowed to drive. Yeah, so it's so funny imagining like your woman
[00:32:38] You're banned by the government from touching the vehicle and then this mentally retarded man is just having sex with a car and driving
[00:32:48] My favorite is when the guy and like the only emotion you can summon is like thank God. He's not raping me which he's allowed
[00:32:56] Yeah, thank God is just fucking that car. Yeah, I love to touch
[00:32:59] Don't try and teach him to read I saw a guy fucking outside in DC in an alley
[00:33:05] And I'm who a woman like over a hood of a car nice and I turned around and looked and he's like can I get some fucking privacy?
[00:33:17] Go for you. She didn't seem like it was
[00:33:22] Yeah, although I don't know what I would have done. Yeah, yeah, you saw a man raping a woman
[00:33:28] You don't know what you would have done would have been like nice
[00:33:30] I would have like called someone or you wouldn't have just stopped that from happening. Of course. I would have I
[00:33:36] Don't know what I would have done. I don't know like do I have to punch him? Yes, absolutely
[00:33:41] If you see a fucking man raping a woman in public you go fucking beat the shoot out
[00:33:46] Honestly like legitimately that is why I was looking because like I saw two people having sex in person that looked again
[00:33:52] I was like oh fuck sure to make sure to know if you can walk away or flee
[00:33:57] I'm scared. I was wearing flops. I don't know what I would
[00:34:01] Dear god, I don't know what you're supposed to do. I throw a rock at his head fucking stop
[00:34:08] I don't let somebody rape somebody in my first I wasn't gonna let him
[00:34:12] But my first thought was that I was wearing flip-flops. Yeah, and I was like I don't know how good I know
[00:34:18] She's
[00:34:20] I was like in her like victim support group and they're like and some guy came by but unfortunately he was wearing flip-flops
[00:34:27] So I understood why he just walked away did nothing while I was being raped in an alley
[00:34:33] I'm just saying I didn't know he had the wrong
[00:34:36] Those weren't stopping rape shoes obviously
[00:34:40] He wasn't wearing a nice rape stopping shoe like a new balance or or a converse yet flip-flop
[00:34:47] So I have can you blame him in a lot of ways he was raped all I was the big arms of his feet. We're getting raped. Thank you
[00:34:52] No
[00:34:54] We're both victims me in that man. I wish I could meet him so I could thank him and maybe ask him out
[00:35:00] She thought it was cute for sure
[00:35:02] Um, no, I just didn't know what all this shit. What my attack? I don't know what no, I don't know how I would have put
[00:35:12] Do I get a pipe?
[00:35:14] Do I yell rape fucking pants around his ankle?
[00:35:18] Yeah, you can't pants him exactly. No, you put your you put a thumb in his ass
[00:35:23] Exactly like what my dog was fighting. I put a stick in his ass
[00:35:27] Right
[00:35:29] Mm-hmm. That was pretty good at him. I gotta say that I you well I didn't mean it that way, but I'm glad I provided enough
[00:35:36] Uh-huh inspiration fodder, you know, I know I know what my role is in this. Yeah
[00:35:44] Stop a rape. I didn't say I wasn't gonna stop a rape
[00:35:48] I just said I don't know what I would do like you're like ma'am. I'm sorry in four years
[00:35:52] I'm gonna be on a podcast and we got we need two and a half minutes out of this
[00:35:58] Uh
[00:35:59] Yeah, I would have fucking killed it. I would be headed him on the spot with my samurai sword
[00:36:02] Yeah, but legitimately that that woman was getting raped so
[00:36:08] No, just playing though
[00:36:11] JP remember JP is just playing mikday. Yeah. Yeah
[00:36:17] Damn sorry. I'm reading 10 year old phone reviews now. I got really shocked. Oh, yeah, what do we got? What was so you think
[00:36:24] The next tell 9 11 or whatever was the best one
[00:36:27] Uh the 930 that was just the one I remember being the big one because there was
[00:36:30] it was the
[00:36:34] Presmart phone what was the best phone?
[00:36:37] Presmart phone. Yeah, I don't know. I guess a razor was probably a hot one. I mean it was hot or that was the best cell
[00:36:42] Sidekick T-Mobile sidekick. Yes. Those were my fucking shit is no key out of business too
[00:36:48] No, no, it's not out of business. No, they're still in the mix
[00:36:50] They even made a smartphone recently remember they made a big deal of it. It was trying to come back. I mean it didn't work but
[00:36:56] I think they made like a bunch of it was like customizable or some shit. Maybe I'm confusing but yeah
[00:37:02] I don't fucking care. Fuck. Yeah. I mean the big thing was like those phones that had those like heavy as shit cameras on them
[00:37:11] Remember that no, yeah. Oh, yeah, the LG did have the sidekick did have the big a pretty big camera. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
[00:37:18] But it wasn't like a good camera blackberries were hot people's like very for sure blackberry pearl was real popular
[00:37:24] Elders had one of those pearl. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, he lost the ball. It was a little ball. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't the storm that come after that
[00:37:32] I don't remember. Yeah, you could talk to girls that had other blackberries on black and blackberry messenger
[00:37:39] Like a little dark clip, you know
[00:37:42] Dark ass clip or down a little dark ass clip girl where the quits at you look in the club
[00:37:48] I see your dark little clip. I need that
[00:37:50] black hole
[00:37:52] Like disappears in that bit. Just clear right? Yeah, we're your clerk at
[00:37:58] Chirp Chirp. Let me see your clerk
[00:38:02] Show me that clerk right? Yeah, that's the hottest G-funk track. Clerk. Let me see your clerk
[00:38:07] Clerk, chirp chirp
[00:38:10] Like yeah, Marcus this ain't even language anymore
[00:38:13] And you've become too west coast
[00:38:16] My dirt got real. Oh my my dick girl. Hoard. Oh that clerk
[00:38:20] You dork ass clerk
[00:38:23] Clerk
[00:38:25] Fruitvale station. I haven't no that the police killing you know how it ends
[00:38:30] So I don't want in Oakland
[00:38:32] But like maybe I should watch fruitvale station on 4k uhd blue ray you can do that I think it's on I think that is one of the cool
[00:38:39] Well, michael bjorden does like an e-spay accent where he's like shopping where he goes like hoard
[00:38:44] He's like she's real hoard out here. It's one. Yeah, my penis is horror. Yeah, great
[00:38:50] My penis has become to get into my dick is too hard and when I saw how hard my penis become
[00:38:57] I knew I was gonna cry
[00:39:00] My momma told me my dick ain't supposed to get that whore
[00:39:04] And I praise the lord every day that my dick got on hard from that
[00:39:09] Because you get to where was this
[00:39:11] I don't know it's a guy from Oakland. It's got a moklin who's dick has gotten too hard
[00:39:16] My momma's crying and praying for me
[00:39:20] Sam baby, please make your dick not that
[00:39:24] I said my mom trying mama
[00:39:28] Damn, yeah, look at this advertisement for a motor roll of fun. They chose that image
[00:39:35] But that's cute stog roast
[00:39:37] I was way cuter than a lot of obstacle. No, I can't do that was a cute ass kid. Where are you?
[00:39:42] I peaked as a baby. Dude. I was cute as fuck. You're still a baby. No, I always yes. No, yes
[00:39:48] Yes, you are. No, I'm not yes. I make gromme
[00:39:52] Damn. So what else is happening? I feel like it's been a slow couple of days
[00:39:55] I feel like we've been having last episode of quarter shit ton of episodes
[00:39:58] Whatever this new schedule we're doing it feels like we're doing episodes every day
[00:40:01] Well, no, it just feels like we're doing them well before they come out. So it doesn't
[00:40:05] It's previously we're doing it. You know what it is because we do the episode and then when I upload it
[00:40:10] I have to in my mind. I'm doing a podcast
[00:40:15] So I'm spending way more time on the podcast than I'd like to which is now four hours a week instead of
[00:40:21] Three precious two hours
[00:40:23] had it down to
[00:40:25] Enough free time. Go to the library
[00:40:28] Now free time to place a couple of bets. Yeah
[00:40:32] Oh website called bet dsi.com
[00:40:36] Online you can place bets on what dsi stands for nobody has any fucking idea because there's some like we're a charming company
[00:40:43] I think you know, but I tell you who knows they do and you go ask them by going to their website
[00:40:48] Sure, it's on there because they've been around for 20 years with damn pretty solid track record of paying people out on time
[00:40:55] That's right
[00:40:57] You play bet when they got an easy to use mobile betting interface. It's an app download on your phone makes betting fun and simple
[00:41:05] Um, they offer live in-game wagering. So you can make bets as the game's going on
[00:41:11] And you know, it's not just sitting there waiting to lose money. You can actively find new ways to lose money. Yeah
[00:41:18] You know, I I've used it myself a couple of times
[00:41:21] I'm not gonna disclose what I bet on because a lot of it is private personal
[00:41:25] You guys you got you got some well, I mean a lot of people have been praising
[00:41:29] Savani for predicting that the triple crown the horse would win the triple crown
[00:41:35] Which is something I've been saying for months
[00:41:38] Shouting it from the roof top rape raped Beth was the name of the horse raped
[00:41:43] Yeah, she was running her comes and it's raped Beth in the front
[00:41:47] Raped Beth by a leg. It's actually a boy horse. Yeah, real unfortunate name
[00:41:52] Um, what's coming? So then we got the world cup coming up. Oh, so
[00:41:58] You know, I'm going team Iran
[00:42:00] Nijeria baby
[00:42:03] Nigeria is are these super new uniforms the super eagles. Yeah, such a good name are their new uniforms are so sick
[00:42:11] And they sold out in like five minutes online. Yeah, I really want to get one of their
[00:42:16] Home jerseys anyway, so bet on whether Adam will be able to get one. I want to make them in girls
[00:42:21] So we're gonna go we're gonna be betting
[00:42:23] You know, I'm bet. Yes. I come bet. Yes. I'm bet. Yes. I come you know, I'm going Iran
[00:42:28] Uh or Saudi Arabia who's also the worst
[00:42:31] How about loudy Arabia? Yeah, yeah
[00:42:33] I'm out smoked out loud you come here bitch. We'll get you fucking smoked up can't drink alcohol
[00:42:38] You can't drive and be retarded. You can fuck a car. Yep
[00:42:42] That's loudy Arabia again fucked up and fucking the core
[00:42:45] It's the Oakland
[00:42:48] We're we're here live in Oakland, Saudi Arabia
[00:42:52] We have a
[00:42:56] Just listen to vocoder music. Yeah
[00:42:59] Yeah, so you know me. I'm a coward. I can't take a side
[00:43:03] So I'm going Sunni and Shiite in this world cup. You're betting for both. I'm betting. I'm taking both
[00:43:09] I'm bet dsi.com
[00:43:10] Yeah, what promo code should people use to what's it? Yeah, come
[00:43:14] So you am 25
[00:43:16] Capital C lowercase you am 25 and you get 25
[00:43:20] You get 20 plus a 200 percent
[00:43:24] Deposit matching your deposit bonus on your deposit
[00:43:27] So go ahead and check it out bet dsi.com play bet win do it. Wow spend that money. You know
[00:43:34] They listen to these they listen to these not just endorsements spend that motherfucking do it
[00:43:39] But guess who gets an angry email from some guy that Lewis is friends with
[00:43:45] That doesn't sound like the kind of guy you want to email. Yeah, he just learned how to email
[00:43:51] Some some guy that Lewis knows from jail
[00:44:00] Would be a funny. Yeah, he just has instead of keyboards as a punching bag and each different spots represent a different letter
[00:44:05] Mm-hmm. That would be cool. I'll be fucking tight dude. I would I would play maybe speaking again. Remember that shit
[00:44:12] Uh, wasn't that like the typing yeah like they taught you out. Yeah, but now it's a what's it called?
[00:44:17] Maybe speaking. I have no idea what that is. You never played that little game is supposed to each other. I think I just learned how to type
[00:44:23] I don't remember a game teaching me how to type
[00:44:25] In school. Do they have those no really no I remember it's great. We had typing class
[00:44:30] My mom had a typewriter and I learned how to type on oh
[00:44:36] Williams very it was weird fucked up. No, no, it was an electronic typewriter. So you put a floppy disk in it. Really? Yeah. Oh, is that like a word process?
[00:44:46] Like they weren't computers, but they weren't typewriters. Mm-hmm. Yeah, well
[00:44:50] Yeah, it's just it was basically like it's a typewriter you could print on it and then it had like an led display and it would show you just like the
[00:44:55] The line. Yeah, yeah, so you can make directions. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, and then you can save it to like a floppy disk. That's pretty fun
[00:45:03] I remember doing homework on that thing. Damn nice
[00:45:06] Yeah, I think it's buzzing again. Oh, I'm sorry. So came in. That's why I'm all the ones in motherfucking twos
[00:45:12] Yeah, dude. I used to fuck around with Mavis beacon. This shit was fun math blaster. Yep. Oh math blaster rule Oregon trail
[00:45:20] Fuck. I loved math. I like my game or saw science blaster. Maybe you think there was a
[00:45:24] It was in the math blaster family. It's like it's like it's like you had sort of a superhero
[00:45:29] But kind of a little dicket one. Yeah, Nick any a big e3 announcements you've been
[00:45:35] Go I'm the three right now. It's e3 right now stops the gamer. I didn't realize
[00:45:40] Yeah, oh I should have been playing for tonight this whole time. Oh, yeah
[00:45:43] Yeah, I thought I had to go to the store and purchase it. No, it's true some guys yelled at me
[00:45:48] Ed the fucking stand. I was talking about a row. No, no, I was talking to my row and I was like, yeah
[00:45:53] I was thinking about going to buy and got a word and the guy was like let me ask you something and he's like
[00:45:57] Do you what's what platform do you play in my rose immediately like like he works for playstation? You know and so
[00:46:03] And this guy's like he's like why don't you just download them like because then you can't sell them afterwards across the same exact amount
[00:46:08] You get less and he's like you don't have to go to the store. I'm like you can't sell them afterwards
[00:46:12] Yeah, you don't have to go to store takes up the same amount of space on the playstation. You can't sell them
[00:46:18] You can just download them on you don't have to go anywhere. You can't sell what's his angle like what what is he?
[00:46:23] I'm just saying it's clearly better for playstation
[00:46:25] It's better for playstation. Okay, then they just continue to make money off new game sales
[00:46:29] And then they don't have to print the fucking the media Japanese guys speaking in a av
[00:46:33] No, it was the opposite
[00:46:36] Black guy talking like a Japanese person
[00:46:38] Why do you know
[00:46:42] It was like a little bit of a ghost dog. Oh, okay
[00:46:47] I mean if that's exactly who works for playstation. Yeah, yeah, it's the anime
[00:46:54] Munching goes. I don't know why I haven't been calling those guys that for the last 25
[00:46:57] That's honestly the best must have synced description
[00:47:01] Motherfucking ghost dog, but apparently they're changing some game. I don't fucking know. I'm not okay
[00:47:07] So you tried to make fun of me. I didn't even know it was e3. Why don't you go ahead and tell me what they're changing
[00:47:12] Gaming homework. They're changing what I was doing man shit
[00:47:17] Battle royale format and people are what is battle royale?
[00:47:22] So this everyone
[00:47:25] Yeah, but there's no lives
[00:47:29] I then you wait for the next game. I see I like team death match more than anything. Yeah, it's fun
[00:47:33] Yeah team death matches fun. I've been getting back in the battlefield one
[00:47:38] I would play halo back in the day. That's she was fun. I guess I guess I should probably get battlefield five
[00:47:43] I still gotta get got a war
[00:47:45] Yeah, there's a new one, right? Yeah motherfucking crados, right? That's yeah, dude. The first got first two got a war games were so fucking
[00:47:53] Man, I didn't see it. Is it a story games are so good. I think back to them and it makes me want to smoke weed
[00:47:58] That's how like
[00:48:00] Mass effect. I didn't play the new mass effect either. That first mass effect was amazing
[00:48:04] Never played that like spaceships. Yeah, it's space space. Yeah, the plot is like
[00:48:10] You're this like I mean, it's like sort of a it's all like open-ended and the decisions you make in the game like oh nice
[00:48:16] Oh, that's the one where you can fuck too, right? You can fuck in it. Yeah, the spaceships
[00:48:21] Maybe like that guy fucking the car. Yeah, you can buy yeah your character has down syndrome
[00:48:27] Do you proceed?
[00:48:32] Excellent choice commander. Thank you very much
[00:48:36] Wow, wow, wow, wow, man. That's like all this cool. I john carpenter music all the time
[00:48:41] Downs effect to be a good game. Do you shoot guns and shit?
[00:48:45] Yeah, you have guns and magic and shit. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, it's a cool game
[00:48:49] I don't think I can go back. I think somebody described it as a space opera, which uh, I think sounds kind of gapped
[00:48:55] Yeah, it is gay, but you get high and just look at space. I mean, yeah, that sounds cool, bro
[00:49:01] Yeah, dude. I fucking I used you should play the first massive. I might play that shit
[00:49:04] I don't know if Andromeda is good or not, but the first mass effect was like
[00:49:07] I'll play that shit. Mm-hmm. I played that catch me twitch stream in mass effect soon guys twitch.tv
[00:49:13] Yeah, they probably have like some sort of remastered collection. It's all three of the first games. Yeah, probably
[00:49:18] Yeah, I think mass effect two I played through most of three I never played and then andromeda I haven't played yet either
[00:49:24] Okay, online games are story. No, they're all yeah mass effect was like mostly offline
[00:49:29] I mean there might have been online elements, but it was like it was like a hundred hours of gameplay
[00:49:34] I played uncharted when re gamey his ps4 a couple months ago and I like did not jack off for four days
[00:49:40] I just like played like 20 hours a day. That's the man that when I beat the game
[00:49:44] So these like good games that came out in the last 10 15 years that I just didn't play
[00:49:47] It's amazing. The cutscenes are so good nowadays. Yeah, it's I haven't played games
[00:49:52] I played the first uncharted because they have like some collection. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so I guess I played four
[00:49:58] Yeah, I said that already. Yeah, I just said it though. Yeah, but I said it months. No, but I just said it
[00:50:03] I don't give a fuck. It's cool. Dude. You're like fucking indiana jones and shit
[00:50:07] And it's it looks like a movie and it's like I would check my yeah
[00:50:10] But don't you think it was like 10 p.m. And it was like 4 30 a.m
[00:50:15] Just like climb walls and that was my one complaint I played and saw puzzles and it's like the puzzles are too easy
[00:50:20] The game is not difficult in any way. I mean, it's like fun
[00:50:25] I guess but it's like barely any more fun than lego indiana jones was well
[00:50:30] You just keep lego indiana jones was one of the best games
[00:50:35] I used to get just debilitated at my fucking call center job
[00:50:39] Let me work from home. I'm like start drinking at 10 a.m
[00:50:42] Hell yes, the highest shit. Yes. And then just sit there and play lego indiana jones while like troubleshooting old people's problem
[00:50:52] What a fucking non-help person you must have been to get
[00:50:56] The email still isn't working. I'm like, what you gotta oh the lock is on the other side
[00:51:02] Huh? No, you know what? We're gonna go ahead and just restart your computer again
[00:51:06] The fourth time I want to do it. Yeah, they put it in the code. It takes four restarts
[00:51:14] To reboot the whole mainframe. Oh hell yeah, nice. I got that
[00:51:18] Oh nothing. It's just like this mowgli kid that helps you and I thought he was dead, but he's he's back
[00:51:24] No, it has something to do with your computer
[00:51:26] Your hair or lego indiana jones
[00:51:28] It's indiana jones, but it's like it's a little lego guy. It's great. You can't die. I am so high right now
[00:51:34] They but ever ask you if you were on drugs or drunk. No people would be like are you okay?
[00:51:44] Because I would like just pass out
[00:51:49] Goddamn that fucking rules. Yeah
[00:51:52] No, it was funny too because I remember when I started working at home
[00:51:54] I was like now I can go to bed. Where the fuck I want because I don't have to go into work
[00:51:59] And then like the first day I try to stay up like just getting obliterated till like
[00:52:04] 345 in the morning and then I was like on the phones at six
[00:52:07] Jesus and so like I like you know my alarm goes off and I just like dragged the headset onto my head
[00:52:13] I'm like lying in bed and I log in the calls come in. I'm like
[00:52:19] I can't I can't speak
[00:52:21] God damn it's so funny. They didn't fire you they didn't fire anybody at that place
[00:52:29] They were so desperate the turnover rate was so like astronomically high because it is the worst job in the entire world
[00:52:34] Yeah, you have to have the same conversation over and over again
[00:52:38] Trying to solve a very simple problem, but it's through the the hands and eyes of an incompetent person right right?
[00:52:45] So I mean it is like torture in a way. Yeah
[00:52:48] Imagine if you had to like speak but everything was delayed by 30 minutes
[00:52:53] Damn and you had to like account for that. That would suck. That's what it felt like. How much did it pay?
[00:52:59] Well, it topped out at 11 dollars an hour which not not you know working from home and then it's also a Texas
[00:53:06] There's no income tax. Oh, yeah, so state income tax. There's no state income tax
[00:53:12] So I mean I made I made pretty good money there. Yeah towards the end
[00:53:15] Yeah, and I was like living with Cuba. So my rent was like 320 a month. Oh hell. Yeah, dude
[00:53:20] Yeah, 320 a month and the bills were pretty cheap and then you know my paycheck was probably like
[00:53:25] $750 every two weeks or whatever. Yeah, whatever fucking 11 live bro. Yeah, I mean I saved up a like a pretty significant amount of money before moving to LA
[00:53:35] I'm like when I lived in Austin just from doing that job. Yeah, cuz I would I wouldn't even
[00:53:39] uh
[00:53:42] You know my roommate would be like months late on rent and then just get like a check
[00:53:46] Yeah, and then he would hand me cash for all his back rent. I would just put that in like my drawer and not
[00:53:51] Yeah, even the bank. I just you know, I had like thousands of dollars and like back rent and shit
[00:53:56] IRS didn't have to know about I mean
[00:53:59] I it's like I'm not writing off my
[00:54:02] Rant on my own even got him. No, baby. Well, they wouldn't
[00:54:06] Has no doesn't benefit
[00:54:08] You know, it's not no mother
[00:54:13] The guy thinks he's cheating the government
[00:54:20] Yeah, I tell my whole income they don't even got to know about the
[00:54:26] I risk I no idea what I've been spending my business expensive
[00:54:31] That's how they get you, baby. Yeah, 200 thousand dollars zero deduction
[00:54:35] Yeah, I paid 140 thousand
[00:54:43] They ain't tracking me though. I'm off the fucking grid. I'm off the grid paying
[00:54:49] But they
[00:54:52] You ever see that uh that riddler guy but with like money on his yes, of course
[00:54:57] Dc. Yeah, he lived in dc. Yeah, you see him driving around. He had a car. Yeah, the fan with the question. Yeah. Yeah
[00:55:04] Yeah, yeah, what was his whole thing about getting money for free or something? Yeah, something like that
[00:55:09] I don't know. I remember the infomercials. Yeah, there's no way that's real
[00:55:13] I mean he afforded the suit. Yeah, he got the suit. That's custom. That's custom
[00:55:18] Harvey suit. I don't know man made Steve Harvey jealous. He's from Bethesda. I think
[00:55:23] Yeah, Matthew. Let's go. Yeah, I mean, what is he do? I don't remember what this is it?
[00:55:27] I think it's you get money from like government programs that like people don't know exist
[00:55:32] Hmm. Yeah, I know but I don't know damn money to eat any nutrients in my body. Yeah, I'm hungry too. It's called well
[00:55:40] I was gonna call you out on it, but I wasn't sure it's question marks. It's not dollar signs. Oh, he literally wears a riddler suit
[00:55:46] It's I thought it was dollar signs. No, it's question marks. You're right. Yeah. Yeah, I was pretty sure it was question marks. Wow
[00:55:53] Well, this one really petered out with
[00:55:56] This episode really is just about Adam. Yeah, but that's good enough man. You got something that good
[00:56:01] You could take the rest of the episode. I just want to clarify that I would have helped the woman
[00:56:05] I just didn't know what Michael is for most kind that work two hours a week. It's it's fair that we take a break
[00:56:13] I mean when Adam says he would doesn't know this is a brain
[00:56:17] Right. No, I'd not say that kind of half
[00:56:20] To clarify. I did not say that I wouldn't have stopped the rape
[00:56:24] I said that I don't know what what form of action I would have taken wrong
[00:56:31] Dude, the thing is I'm just nutrient depleted because I got jacked as fuck today
[00:56:35] And I'm why are you just doing arms? Why don't you do titty and small and these exercises? I do titties too, man
[00:56:41] You can't in small and with with with uh lifting weights bro
[00:56:46] You just make your finger dude. Did you go back to the gym since I took you there and shined out a little place?
[00:56:50] I have not been back
[00:56:52] I felt bad for you. Yeah. Yeah, she was seeing the way that old woman was looking at. Oh, okay
[00:56:57] You know, we don't
[00:56:59] Keep some things private what there's an old woman
[00:57:02] There's a lot of things about me that we don't keep private on the show, but this is something that I prefer
[00:57:06] Okay
[00:57:08] I mean, I look I'm your friend. I hope you look way to know what I max out at I was not gonna say anything
[00:57:13] Okay
[00:57:14] Well, and that old lady was impressed by me. She said you're making a change
[00:57:18] And I can see that she wanted she wanted to use the same little weights as you
[00:57:21] There was this thing like someone made fun of someone in a gym online recently and a bunch of like bodybuilders are like
[00:57:28] It's wacked to make fun of someone making a change in their it is it is it absolutely is
[00:57:32] Because you know who does that kind of shit is like people that have been like working out for six months that have made one minor change
[00:57:38] And they're not going to continue with it. Yeah, I mean, it's fucking stupid
[00:57:42] If you're like trying to shame somebody because they're what two weeks behind you on starting strength or some bullshit
[00:57:47] You're a fucking asshole and you're probably not going to continue to go to the gym
[00:57:50] Yes, whatever like issue makes you hate yourself that you have to like, you know, shame a retarded man
[00:57:59] Shame some poor disabled man. He just wants to have sex with vehicles
[00:58:03] We're not shaming him. We're celebrating. I am so it was already him. He's probably the freest man in Saudi Arabia
[00:58:10] What if that's what's going on?
[00:58:11] Imagine you live in like I mean, there's so many funny things about that. Yeah to be like if that's your car and you're just I mean walking
[00:58:18] Yeah, yeah, you're coming out of Ben
[00:58:19] It's clearly not his car. He's not driving that course. It's not his car. That's what Nick saying
[00:58:28] Because that's a situation where it's like I don't know what I would do. Yeah
[00:58:33] Not somebody being raped
[00:58:36] If I walked out in a retarded man was having I know exactly what I would do
[00:58:40] Really, that's like one of those questions a blade runner would ask
[00:58:45] No, you leave them alone. I
[00:58:48] Don't know leave the Chipotle a mentally retarded man as his pants down and he's fucking the hood of your car. I kill him
[00:58:55] You ever see a guy jacking off on the train never never
[00:59:00] No, I've never seen it here, but I saw it in DC. How wait, but hold on though. I do want to figure out
[00:59:04] What do we do? I leave it alone. It's a crazy. You let it come on your car
[00:59:09] I probably just hit in the car and start it and slowly put it in reverse
[00:59:17] Back out of that part of you burn his cock with the engine gets hot. Yeah, now are you liable for his cock?
[00:59:24] I don't know what he did shoe him. Yeah
[00:59:26] Shoot you get a rolled up news. Go on get you get out of here comes it becomes you put his nose in it
[00:59:33] I tell you that's what I hate about first days of summer you come outside and bring tar boy fucking
[00:59:37] It's ever goddamn near I was down at the O'Reilly Auto parts picking up some turtle wax from my Chevrolet
[00:59:44] I come out low and behold some below the fetal alcohol syndrome
[00:59:49] 14 and a half inch pecker can bright up in the grill
[00:59:54] Smack, but I don't even know how that's gonna feel good for him. Oh god damn things got to be a hundred and fifteen degrees
[01:00:01] It's covered in bird shit. I mean, I know he's retarded, but nobody's that retarded friends
[01:00:08] You never know what he likes
[01:00:10] You never know what he likes call
[01:00:12] It's so funny too because you see that and you're like, oh, that's why we used to just kill these people
[01:00:20] Because I mean that's what happens if they don't have if you don't have special education. Yeah, they're just wandering
[01:00:26] In Adidas shorts fucking people's cars
[01:00:32] They probably fucked a lot of things that were weird like in fucking yeah, I'm yeah tribal days
[01:00:38] Exactly imagine you're like, you know in like the fucking medieval times one of those guys is just fucking the public gallows
[01:00:45] And they're like we have to kill people in that later
[01:00:49] We gotta just put this guy out in the woods you think we think
[01:00:52] No, no, they were like septus members of the community the idiot the village idiot
[01:00:57] They were part of the town
[01:00:59] There are just like that's the retard if you were in the gallows
[01:01:01] Did you get your ass fucked while you were in the gallows by the village idiot?
[01:01:04] But the field did you mean paid him? Yeah, I think you mean the stock stocks
[01:01:08] Hillary yeah, did you get your ass fucked maybe yeah damn? I bet you you did that sucks
[01:01:15] By all getting buggered by the British you getting buggered buggered out big time. Yeah, I mean
[01:01:21] I just I still I keep thinking back to that video. Yeah anything has a cell phone too. Mm-hmm
[01:01:26] He's looking at porn probably
[01:01:30] Yeah, my favorite is to look on his eyes when he's discovered because he's not I
[01:01:35] Don't think they were shame. I think it was like he's annoyed that someone is fucking
[01:01:40] Interrupting him. Yeah, you know, I didn't even look annoyed
[01:01:43] He's just like matter of fact like oh somebody's looking at yeah
[01:01:46] Because you know what people probably look at him like that all the time because he's disabled and he probably gets mocked
[01:01:51] He doesn't like he's like oh boy. Somebody's gonna be a hard time about my disability again
[01:01:57] That's the look on his face like all great. It's just I gonna make fun of me for no reason
[01:02:09] God damn
[01:02:11] Yeah, that is truly a precious fucking video though. Yeah, it was funny this morning when you text us and you're like
[01:02:16] I'm fucking pissed off. I'm bad mood. I gotta go watch that video
[01:02:21] I mean it was the best I woke up to that and it was beautiful. Yeah
[01:02:26] Fuck dude, I said it to everyone I know last night
[01:02:31] Like everyone
[01:02:35] You're over here when you saw it, right? Yeah, yeah
[01:02:38] We guys up to speaking up for the guy that sent that to me go ahead and post it on the subreddit
[01:02:43] I think the full video is on live leak. Is that oh, it's a live like this guy took no
[01:02:52] Yeah, so I said it to Karen and Karen was like did you film this?
[01:02:55] Yeah, because it's like a file. Yeah, it's like a video right? Yeah, I yeah, I took this video
[01:03:07] I
[01:03:09] Would be surprised by saw like some retarded like
[01:03:13] Hosey kid fucking something though. Yeah, I really wouldn't well
[01:03:16] I think they fuck each other and they get diddled definitely yeah. Yeah, oh man
[01:03:21] Yeah, that whole community screams molestation. Yeah, they're so like private, you know, yeah, someone's fucking kids
[01:03:28] Yeah, oh for sure, but I mean like they have their own cops and their own like firefighters. That's so funny
[01:03:34] Deal with that Boston to have their own
[01:03:40] Very much a molesting Boston public Boston public. Oh, yeah remember that show. Yeah, William Shatner, right? No, no
[01:03:47] That was Boston legal. Yeah
[01:03:50] One of the bosses yeah, Boston public was
[01:03:54] Not Chi McBride
[01:03:56] That the other guy that's like him. Maybe it was she was that bald black guy
[01:04:00] It's I think it's Chi McBride is that his name I confused Chi McBride and Malik Yoba who's on
[01:04:07] Chi McBride Jerry Ryan Anthony healed yep, who else was on that show Jerry Ryan was married to an Illinois
[01:04:15] Congressman or governor. Yeah, we got a divorce because he was taking her sex club. Yeah
[01:04:21] So
[01:04:23] Back in the day off so much to her goddamn dude
[01:04:27] She's pictured her where you can see her nipples through a shirt
[01:04:29] I'm just fucking I could probably crank it off right now to one of those. Let's just do it cuz when you're when you're in elementary school
[01:04:35] She has the world's biggest hits. Yeah, which are now as a grown man dog shit. Yeah, come on. I'm meaning I like
[01:04:44] But you got to be packing soon. She's got some Indian birds double H's
[01:04:50] You know the average broad size in America is 34 double D average average titty sizes
[01:04:55] There's a lot of fattage. I guess yeah, that throws it off. Yeah, so it's you have stopped a thank for that
[01:05:00] We need that a lot of like moms that it can't even reach the steering wheel. They just drive with their yeah
[01:05:10] I'm a shit. I mean how old is she now probably a million. I'll marry her right now Jerry if you're listening
[01:05:17] Yeah, I'm gonna look I mean I'll have sex with her for old times sake
[01:05:20] Well, just what make that clear as it's happening. Yeah, yeah, listen to me you sharp bitch
[01:05:26] You sharp ass bitch
[01:05:28] Yeah, look how fucking hot she was dude. Oh good God mama Mia Jerry. Let me get
[01:05:35] Now this is the part of the podcast where we just look at female celebrities from 1995 and then react
[01:05:41] I guess you just turn into like one of these middle-aged guys. It's like ah what a beautiful woman that is
[01:05:47] This guy's like you're like humiliated by is a teen
[01:05:52] Yeah, oh this is definitely you know who I've oh that rachel Welsh. Yeah, dude
[01:05:57] I don't mind being one of those guys
[01:06:02] Young forever old live fast. I can't I can't believe I'm turning 30. I was supposed to be dead by now, dude
[01:06:08] Oh guys, no, you're gonna make it dude. Oh god. Oh guys penis. I want to suck a guys
[01:06:15] You know what we should do we should rape no, no, okay?
[01:06:22] I thought I just going along with the boys
[01:06:24] I don't want to say this on maybe I shouldn't say it on the pod. Maybe I should just talk to stop about this
[01:06:29] No, it's too late. You got to say it now. I think we should get you that hot air balloon right buddy for your 30th birthday
[01:06:35] That is good. Yeah, I would still I would still smash
[01:06:38] Jerry bringing her to sex clubs, huh?
[01:06:41] Damn, how much would you want to bend in that fucking sex club?
[01:06:45] She's just fucking so uncomfortable stop give us a little hypothetical about the sex club if I'm in that damn sex club number one
[01:06:51] I'm pulling out the what the fucking hogaroo that's step one. Yeah, we close pull my cock out
[01:06:56] Yeah, it's all through the zipper. It's a door too small for door
[01:07:01] Little fedora on my head and showed expose
[01:07:05] Dress like a Puerto Rican cab driver
[01:07:08] Penis out what should say you want puppy
[01:07:11] Yeah, talk like that. I do when I'm in this club
[01:07:14] You know I don't like this so yes, so he's shaking his hand. He we're shaking hands. Hi. I'm whatever
[01:07:24] Congressman congressman Bill Ryan
[01:07:27] That was close to a tutorial. I mean I can do to tour what I can work back from Jesus. Oh
[01:07:33] Yeah from the bowling. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. I work on that. I don't know it was just that no mess it with the Jesus
[01:07:39] Yeah, yeah, dude. I could work back from now. I can't I don't know to Barton Fink to Barton Fink from there. Yeah, yeah
[01:07:47] Figure it out
[01:07:48] Yeah, so they're introducing me. I have my dick out. I found out I could do they old guy from big Lebowski. Oh, yeah
[01:07:53] The wheelchair. Yeah, the the other Lebowski. I'm supposed to suck your dick, Mr. Lebowski
[01:07:59] That guy wasn't Lebowski. No, his name is also a basket. Oh, that's why they can every time somebody's dick gets sucked in this fair city
[01:08:09] Wow, I'm supposed to suck your dick
[01:08:13] Probably I
[01:08:16] He was the guy the cop
[01:08:19] That's Leenie the hawk even honk. No, no the guy's training Ethan Hawke. Isn't that the guy Denzel watching? Oh, you're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah
[01:08:29] The fat wheelchair got in the basket and
[01:08:33] He was great and fences that guy and this guy's a spinal dude
[01:08:37] Spinal tap this guy's a this guy's a gold-bricker. I wish I could do an impression of everybody. That would be awesome
[01:08:43] That's a super some people can do that. Mm-hmm. Some people can name one person Frank Calienda Frank Calienda, right?
[01:08:49] You're right man of a thousand voices. I'm sorry
[01:08:51] That's like it sucks because if you get really good at impressions, you don't have to write jokes anymore
[01:08:56] Yeah, which is really all any comedian wants. Yes, they're not after I chose
[01:09:00] This is like well, I gotta do an hour like who likes Ray Romano
[01:09:07] Oh, that bro. Yeah, so you got it. It's good. So many fucking pussy
[01:09:11] Mm-hmm. That's good
[01:09:14] Remember Stephen Collins from 7th heaven. You just do that big pedophile hour dad all the famous pedophiles
[01:09:20] Are you choosing Ray Romano of pedophilia right now on the record everybody loves Ray except the kids actors?
[01:09:27] Yeah, the child actors to please
[01:09:30] Nobody's gonna believe you
[01:09:32] Nobody's gonna believe this man. You can fucking cry all you want. Nobody's gonna believe it. What's the show?
[01:09:39] Who's known as on the show? Hey, look look. I'm not all the way hard. You're not getting in a fucking movie
[01:09:45] It's hard to bust before I'm all the way hard. You bet your ass
[01:09:50] You're gonna be in a fucking dumpster in those feelings
[01:09:54] I'm gonna slit your fucking throat and dump it behind a Chinese restaurant fucking prick
[01:09:59] Get my dick on don't make me come soft don't make me fucking come soft
[01:10:14] Raymond
[01:10:20] Listen to me you fucking idiot. I got it 15 guys you can play my brother
[01:10:25] Get my fucking dick out right now. Oh, okay, Raymond
[01:10:32] Gotta love that
[01:10:34] tearfully recounting that story
[01:10:37] Frank Caliendo doing that in a general with NBC and he's like so that's the show
[01:10:44] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, boom I'm John Madden and I'm getting my dick
[01:10:57] That's good I would pay so much money for that Caliendo was on mad TV he was towards the end
[01:11:03] But that's that kind of launched him though. Isn't it it? It did and then he had Frank TV after that
[01:11:07] Yeah, oh Frank with friend of the show Mike McCray was on
[01:11:10] Ah you guys fuck with Mike, you know Mike. I don't I don't think I know Mike's very funny
[01:11:15] Very talented impressionist also nice. He's the one that does that Michael Douglas joke. Oh, did you did you fuck my wife?
[01:11:22] Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know that yes, he's Mike. He does this impression of Michael Douglas or whatever. I don't want to just do
[01:11:29] His yeah, look it up folks. Mike McCray
[01:11:32] Choke up a good baseball name
[01:11:34] Is it does he play baseball sounds like a bitch? He doesn't bitch
[01:11:38] Mmm. He doesn't play baseball. I'm calorie deficient. I'm nutrient deficient. Yeah, but I've been eating like pastries all day long
[01:11:46] I gotta I gotta put together some kind of gym plan
[01:11:50] I've had so many fucking goddamn chores. I know I've been able to Jim been chored up
[01:11:56] Yeah, once this once this I'll go back once I get a fucking couch
[01:12:00] I'm done making those speaker stands in those bookshelves. I'll be able to like live like a man. Yeah
[01:12:05] Look go go back the lift weights twitch streaming. Mm-hmm really put more effort into this fucking show
[01:12:11] So I'm not coming here tired. Yes. I've been uprooting comic books all night
[01:12:15] That you've been doing no, I've never read a cut other than spawn
[01:12:18] I've never read a comic book and disappointed to reread spawn and find out that it's complete shit really yeah
[01:12:24] Cuz I'm probably right over here 13 right younger than that really yeah
[01:12:27] I was like probably eight is he black in the comic. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I just I only saw the show oh
[01:12:33] The HBO show yeah, there's an HP
[01:12:37] Yeah, the HBO shows movie
[01:12:41] I used to be really into the HBO Friday night line the HBO show starts off with
[01:12:46] With Todd McFarland and he's like drawing spawn in this oh, yes
[01:12:50] Yes, we're in a fucking like mass cuz dude and he's like zooms in he's like stop for a second
[01:12:56] You've just been killed boom your whole life flashes before you eyes
[01:13:00] You get once one second to make a choice. Do you do the choice?
[01:13:05] Do you not do the choice? It's like who do you want to do a couple more takes? Yeah, dude. That's a really?
[01:13:11] Talented family though the main farland. Yeah Bonnie McFarland. Seth Seth
[01:13:15] Seth Farland Farland yeah old McFarland old McFarland
[01:13:19] I had a farm. You know that's do baby's penis
[01:13:22] There you go take it away
[01:13:24] Stop little kids suck a little kid. Yeah, I get head from a little head of farming
[01:13:31] Most of it was illegal
[01:13:34] And on that farm he had a boy who had down
[01:13:44] And Bingo what now you know Bingo was his name
[01:13:48] It's old McFarland and Bingo the same so it's old McDonald old McDonald's and Bingo the same
[01:13:53] You did that half those songs it is yeah. Yeah happy birthday and twinkle twinkle is the same
[01:13:59] What no no twinkle little star and what happy birthday to you
[01:14:09] The alphabet and twinkle twinkle this time you fucking asshole well that everyone knows that you fucking yeah happy birthday
[01:14:14] That's what I'm not happy birthday. Yeah
[01:14:18] Happy birthday
[01:14:20] For the suck my penis shout out to anyone out there who remembers the mocha Rainer
[01:14:24] Oh suck my penis shout out if you remember Doug. Yeah yell as loud as you can wherever you are
[01:14:30] We yell just scream the top of your lungs shout out if you remember the electric slide. Yeah. Yep. You've got a penis
[01:14:46] God I hope I die soon. Yeah, you you will man. I know I believe in you know. I know I know Liam. I'm coming buddy
[01:14:54] Damn I'll be my dad. Yeah
[01:14:56] I'm I'm set a flea mustad. Yeah, me too. I don't want to because I like to think of myself as a hero that saves people
[01:15:01] Not because I'd actually be set upset about his death. Yeah. Yeah, he would insult me by killing himself
[01:15:06] He was well-meaning. No, he wasn't yes. He was sent your family pictures of your dick
[01:15:12] He sent my sister pictures of her own breasts. Yeah, but that was from her Instagram. Mm-hmm. That's a weird movement. Yeah, I guess that's I
[01:15:21] Guess I would be happy I guess I would be happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy
[01:15:28] I don't know what I do if I had the ability to stop
[01:15:30] Okay, it's okay to take pleasure in the death of people that you consider to be slight enemies or inconveniences
[01:15:36] Look dude, we're powerful man. You need to start living like it
[01:15:40] You gotta whack some of our enemies
[01:15:43] I would be lying if I said that I've never paid to have someone kill
[01:15:46] That would be an untrue statement. That's right if I were to say that on this Hillary shit on
[01:15:53] Next on his Hillary Clinton course. I'm I'm you what look
[01:15:56] I'm the only reason I'm obsessed with all these private island psycho passes because I want to be one of them
[01:16:01] Of course that is yeah, you know what the biggest private island is the fucking earth
[01:16:08] One day that sheds gonna be mine. Yep damn, bro eight off Hitler
[01:16:13] Mm-hmm chicken soup for the artists. So you're just trying to fuck kids
[01:16:17] Mm-hmm. I've compound to get sucked off. Yeah
[01:16:21] All right. Well listen gang. I think that's gonna do our show is it I think so I do you think dinner and then go
[01:16:27] Wow, I feel like we're getting into it now. We've been doing it. It's an hour 20. I think our 15
[01:16:32] Yeah, but I feel like we got some energy now
[01:16:34] I'm like good for the live show. I've been really I've been getting hungry for like 15 minutes, but let's keep going you want to go
[01:16:40] No, it's fucking seven dude shows a day shout out to Liam. All right do a couple more minutes
[01:16:45] You know, it's okay. We can go eat
[01:16:47] We can't get live show. Let's see
[01:16:51] All right, listen, I'm gonna plug my days
[01:16:52] Then we can keep and I'm gonna start cooking and then we can oh yeah, but for this I wish August 12th auto bar
[01:16:57] Yes, what is the Boston date September? Look right now. Yeah, it's Cleveland then Boston. Yeah
[01:17:04] Two days of Cleveland Boston to and Adam is going to post the ticket links on
[01:17:09] Twitter and okay, stavros. I'm not on Twitter. I have no way of doing that
[01:17:13] Yes, are the ticket links live for those shows they're gonna be in both of their bios
[01:17:18] Yeah, Lincoln bio. Yeah, okay. We'll post that shit. Nickle
[01:17:28] Friday the 22nd I might add I might do a secret show in Austin in a couple weeks
[01:17:33] Oh, so the 22nd please buy those tickets to Rhode Island and then if you were in Seattle
[01:17:40] And Portland Seattle I'll be there on the 28th at laughs comedy club
[01:17:44] That's at 8 30. Please buy the tickets those are up. Those are my bio
[01:17:48] And also I will be in Portland July 3rd at the funhouse lounge so come through come get sucked off Rhode Island
[01:17:54] Black people
[01:17:55] Portland everyone stops at that everyone is allowed
[01:17:58] That's why people are not allowed. He's been doing it as like he thinks it's fun like funny
[01:18:04] I was crying because they just a suggestion of something so racist everyone is a lot of my heart
[01:18:10] My golden heart and it's weird because you really dislike black people but love sports
[01:18:16] You know, that is like strange
[01:18:18] That is strange. You like you like the yelling at them aspect. Yeah. I think it's yeah, it's fun
[01:18:23] My ultimate goals is I love black people but only because I want to harvest them
[01:18:27] For their power
[01:18:30] I'm gonna have I'm gonna have a whole team of black people that I love so much if they do everything
[01:18:36] Get out was about was about people that loved black people. Oh, yeah. Oh, also twitch twitch.tv style
[01:18:42] Maybe I I think I'm gonna start doing a regular schedule. I think I'm gonna do Tuesday nights will be my big dick gaming session
[01:18:48] And then I think I'll do monday meal prep where we'll just fucking monday morning
[01:18:52] I'm fucking marinade. I'm gonna have a couch soon and once I have that couch stops gonna come over
[01:18:56] Yeah, we're gonna game like a good warrior from my place. Oh, it's gonna be nice. Yeah, dude
[01:19:01] Um, yeah, dude. So that's yeah, that's it. Those are my plugs also. I'm on you know what dude
[01:19:07] I am too. I am too. So check us out. Yes, you're me and stop yesterday
[01:19:12] On no, I think they pre-record those so it might be later. Oh, all right. Well then something else
[01:19:17] Yeah
[01:19:19] Either we already know you know what dudes are we're coming up soon
[01:19:21] And yeah, you know what I will do that secret show in Austin if you want to DM me venue suggestions
[01:19:26] I know a couple of places that I'm gonna reach out to it's kind of a last minute thing
[01:19:30] But uh, you'd be able to do it. Yeah
[01:19:32] Some small do like a hundred hundred fifty
[01:19:38] Nothing is happening in my career, especially nothing that you
[01:19:41] Adam is in a commercial
[01:19:43] Guys, you guys are commercial. Please do some research on it. Adam's in a commercial
[01:19:47] Please don't ruin it the same way he ruined my commercial
[01:19:50] I mean ruin your commercial. Yeah, you kind of did post about it immediately
[01:19:54] Yeah, to be fair you post it first. No, you post you post about everyone in the new you you immediately
[01:20:00] Pluggates so then I figured why not yeah, uh, which is fine
[01:20:04] You just didn't think you know the also, but I should address because in reading the subreddit
[01:20:09] I see the people were claiming that I was bitching about something that was my own fault
[01:20:13] I tried to manage exposure with that commercial as much as possible. I knew it probably be a problem
[01:20:18] But
[01:20:19] You know whatever it's things happen. I would rather have like the show than be a fucking commercial actor and you can't double dip
[01:20:26] So it's like I'm not even
[01:20:28] It's things happen, but just
[01:20:31] Point of fucking argument. They specifically mentioned the subreddit and asked me to delete it
[01:20:37] So it is absolutely your fault
[01:20:40] The subreddit was 100% the problem. I have numerous emails and I got calls about
[01:20:44] Specifically you were just giving them power the come town
[01:20:49] And it'll probably be it is not
[01:20:52] Me or anything. I've said on the podcast or even any tweets that I had there was not a single tweet cited other than the ones
[01:20:58] That you posted on the subreddit that they complained about
[01:21:02] Yeah, so look out for the subreddit ruining my commercial acting career pretty soon. And you know what boys go for it, right?
[01:21:09] What do you mean? What are you talking about?
[01:21:11] We are in this together. We're not in this together. No, we're not
[01:21:15] Family and the way families show love is by controlling and destroying every aspect of your life. It's a natural impulse
[01:21:22] No, if you listen to the show, I'm your father and your son
[01:21:26] If you listen to the show, we really created you and you and so no no
[01:21:31] We appreciate if you listen to the show, but we're also, you know, we're human beings. Yes, I'm not like
[01:21:37] Yes, you are. All right, so just just be cool
[01:21:41] I'm gonna quit the podcast and start posting on the reddit and just try to become the best guy on the reddit
[01:21:45] That would be incredible. That's the new goal. It's like when Marlow takes his corners. Yeah
[01:21:49] You start over on the pond
[01:21:53] Quit the show
[01:21:54] Become an anonymous person get a sex change and then work my way back on to the podcast from the subreddit
[01:22:01] Yeah, dude. I end up fucking you
[01:22:03] We end up putting you on the shit about my quarters
[01:22:08] Well, watch out for that guys in about three years me Adam and
[01:22:12] Racine will have
[01:22:14] We'll have Nick on and we'll rape have sex with him. Okay. We'll get that woman that I saved in that out
[01:22:20] Yeah, there's just nothing to do in Lancaster
[01:22:25] I just moved to Lancaster. I'm divorced
[01:22:28] I'm three quarters Chinese one eighth gi-wish and
[01:22:32] Don't bring that girl 19
[01:22:34] Mostly mango seeds and flip flops
[01:22:38] Please don't harass any of our best guests
[01:22:41] I'm not harassing it. No, not you don't harass. I'm so insulting now. You are feeling good oil salt bring that energy to the fucking live show, baby
[01:22:48] In an hour if you're listening to this
[01:22:50] Uh, we're gonna be
[01:22:52] We're gonna be yeah, let's go up Wednesday. So
[01:22:56] If you can travel back in time in an hour will be a come on everybody. Um, all right. I think that's it
[01:23:01] Yeah, right
[01:23:03] Thanks guys for listening. Goodbye
[01:23:05] You are I want to go Ben again
[01:23:35] You