Cum Town | Regular | 06/21/2018
[00:00:00] All right, and here we are come town classic baby come town classical guess what that means you already know
[00:00:07] You already know Adam's doing some kind of errand. Yeah, Adam's on the phone having a
[00:00:15] Probably with another man. Oh, you know that shit. Yeah, I've never spoken to a man on the phone
[00:00:20] Yeah, so to a secretary and then his secretary talks to me or the vice versa
[00:00:31] You didn't break it. You lost it. No, I didn't lose it. I was physically injured
[00:00:35] Nick lost it like I was running home. That's why I put the podcast
[00:00:40] The shit is late is Nick's dumbass lost no he just had it loose in his wallet and fell out on the street somewhere
[00:00:46] I was running days. I was raining and I was running home. We recorded it on Tuesday
[00:00:52] And for some reason he kept the SD card in his wallet instead of putting it
[00:00:58] Which is a fucking mess and lose it in there by the computer. I keep it where I keep everything precious to me pictures of my wife
[00:01:08] Pictures of my wife and myself that I've glued together
[00:01:17] So yes, we had honestly probably the best episode we've ever done in our lives was slated to go out Wednesday
[00:01:24] Yeah, here we are doing a whatever this one actually will be better dude. I'm excited for it
[00:01:28] Yeah, I'm tooled up dude. I'm about to throw up from drinking too much tea. I haven't eaten yet because of my intermittent fasting
[00:01:35] Yeah, I haven't eaten either. Oh, but I do you don't do tea or coffee. I do a little water lemon water lemon water
[00:01:41] I actually it's over there. I want to get it, but I'm too. Yeah, you should get back into crystal light
[00:01:53] So funny because I remember drinking crystal light when I was just fat as shit
[00:01:59] The answer is like a different type of snacking I remember throwing on just getting a fucking orange flavored crystal light
[00:02:07] Born in a big-ass container and then playing Madden like oh wait for like 12 hours a day. Yeah, yeah, like sophomore like sophomore
[00:02:17] Yeah, yeah, yeah, no not even mad no wait mad no
[00:02:21] Yeah, I was a sophomore in high school just a fat little kid my crystal light error was younger than that because I was really only fat and like
[00:02:29] Maybe like six seven days grade mostly just seven. I mean I guess I was fat for a while
[00:02:33] But yeah, I got pretty the goddamn fat. Hell yeah seventh grade, which also funniest have ever been in my life
[00:02:40] It's so funny how like that relationship
[00:02:45] The bigger you get the funnier you are it's a different kind of humor. Mm-hmm. You know you big into prat falls
[00:02:50] Yeah, you know I'm oh for sure so much fun. Yeah being a little feck
[00:02:54] I mean that was that is undeniably warped my brain breaking chairs and shit. Oh my god. Yes
[00:03:00] Yeah, the biggest laugh I've ever gotten is when is when I sat on it it was already broken, but it didn't matter
[00:03:09] Breaks a chair best laugh you'll ever get in your life
[00:03:12] It's funny because I was like bigger when I was a kid and then I became small and it's weird to make the two yes
[00:03:18] Work in your head. Yeah, it is weird you grow up. You're able to push up people around you know
[00:03:23] You can't throw your weight around a little bit you can't dude. I remember when I was there was a there was some
[00:03:28] Yeah, now people can just pick me up. Yeah. Yeah, you know often I just get picked up
[00:03:34] Dude there was a friend came to the show last night. She picked me up
[00:03:38] She picked you up four or five feet off the ground scarecrow you I don't know what that oh, yeah
[00:03:50] Yeah, she's a fucking tree. What are you doing scarecrow stop that?
[00:03:56] Well, we got we got a decent bit to talk about I'm certain a new segment of the show called owning the trolls
[00:04:04] Where if you're still on the phone you can step out please
[00:04:09] What we're doing the podcast please step out of the room you might be getting actual serious
[00:04:13] You might be an actual serious phone call. Yeah. Yeah, see I don't have serious phone calls
[00:04:20] I'll have goofball phone calls with my other sound board friends
[00:04:23] Oh, yeah, if you call me up and you want to discuss business you better have that Arnold Schwarzenegger soundboard on that
[00:04:30] Do a little bit of business. Who is your daddy? What does he do? It's learning computer
[00:04:47] That was one of the most fucking if you don't know about that get the fuck off. Yeah, right log off right now
[00:04:58] What you got a little Sarah's texting me a bunch little text message Sarah's texting me way too fucking much
[00:05:08] That'll happen she'll get she'll do a bunch of
[00:05:10] Yeah, yeah, I'm real math, but you know I have better means Jewish math. Yeah
[00:05:18] Yeah, new segment called owning the trolls on the onum
[00:05:21] Do you know what I once again the Opie and Anthony subreddit thinks that they can sneak in criticisms of me and my friends without me
[00:05:31] Okay, I guess what guys there's these fucking morons think I'm not gonna I don't have a Google alert set up
[00:05:37] For everything that they say every single word and I'll see
[00:05:44] And I'll know you're worst nightmare time to own them. Yeah, yeah, guess what idiots unlike what you wanted
[00:05:51] We read everything about every single thing about it a lot. I gotta get back at you. Yeah, here we go
[00:05:58] Yeah, I'm ready. I've been actually I had to go to the gym. I was so mad
[00:06:02] first I teared up. Yeah, and then I I got real upset
[00:06:11] What trolls I don't know if you saw it, but it'll be an Anthony they had they had it's not so not some kind words to say about
[00:06:16] Stavros believe that fucking shit. I don't care. I don't fucking care guys post the guy posted his name is rapist with HIV
[00:06:24] Now look I don't know people's culture is that very well. Maybe his name. I don't
[00:06:29] Know where you're from but it seems like that's a joke. That seems like that's like a joke name to me
[00:06:35] It's fucked up to begin with yeah number one to have a joke name
[00:06:40] I've never tell us who you are. Just use your name. Yeah use your real name. That's what they're fucking cowards
[00:06:45] It did is he bore anyone who uses the Internet for any reason is a coward
[00:06:50] That's a thing. I've noticed if you if you dial up well, you're about to get dialed down
[00:06:55] By my knuckles. Yeah, oh, yeah, if we ever meet in real life and you happen to be smaller
[00:07:00] Yeah, by some off chance at least 20 pounds smaller. We're fucking you up
[00:07:04] Yeah, if you're if you're fucking three or four inches shorter than me and you got some kind of disability
[00:07:16] In that instance, you're the what you're being childish. I'm gonna be the bigger man and decline to fight you
[00:07:22] Rapist with HIV absolutely correct. What do you say about stuff? They said he's a fat hack
[00:07:28] And he laughs at everything I say it's fucked up. I've never laughed once on this podcast. That's Adam
[00:07:40] Yeah, it sounds gayer than usual, but yeah
[00:07:45] And I say any lost his tooth for meeting it's like
[00:07:50] We lost it for not brushing that was the final straw, but yes, it was years of neglect
[00:07:54] Thank you very much. Yeah led up to it and poor dental. Yeah, that's exactly right. He has terrible hygiene
[00:08:00] Right. Yeah, wait a show. You know a bunch of stuff about dent like teeth. Yeah, good. Yeah, nice job being
[00:08:06] Understanding mouth stuff. No, no, it's true rapists with AIDS. Maybe if you didn't spend all your time
[00:08:12] being so negative on the internet yes, unlike me you
[00:08:19] Take have more. There's many reasons. Are we calling out all the trolls right now? Every single troll. Okay
[00:08:25] This is what the show is now the segment called owning the trolls
[00:08:30] Fucking I had a fun run in yesterday. You want to talk shit. I don't want to talk my friends
[00:08:36] Yes, not a not in my not Bobby's world baby
[00:08:42] Why don't we get our producer? Oh, that's the other I want to bring up that I guess it was like months ago
[00:08:47] But I didn't even see it that is a podcast. Oh my god. What are what are these podcasts? Oh, yeah
[00:08:52] Yeah, yeah, they review podcasts and there's a hilarious thing. Listen, all right
[00:08:57] And it's these two like I guess I'm assuming like Gen X or Midwest
[00:09:04] Yeah from from what I can get like you can hear the
[00:09:07] Soft hits under their flannel shirt and their curved brim, you know baseball caps
[00:09:12] Just waiting to make Pearl Jam and cling on references
[00:09:16] And they reviewed they reviewed our show and it's if I have every
[00:09:21] episode of the show could just be chopped up and add add their commentary to it that would be the best podcast
[00:09:30] It's just listening them saying the most retarded shit them clipping it so even stuff that in context sounds retarded
[00:09:37] Yeah, yeah, you take even that away. Yeah, and it's like I'm trying to go to the bathroom in my ass
[00:09:43] And they're like 200,000 people download this show. I don't understand it. There's no
[00:09:52] This is a new stinger. I've spent hours crafting the explain my anger at this show for zero dollars
[00:10:00] Yeah for zero dollars. It's all about money to you, right?
[00:10:03] I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm asking. Yeah, I don't know if we'd be doing this if we made zero dollars
[00:10:09] I think I think I did comedy for zero dollars for for 25 years
[00:10:17] Yeah, I enjoyed podcast starting at four. I enjoy being a broadcast is a good
[00:10:21] I don't resent the audience unless it's rapists with HIV and these unkind words
[00:10:26] Apparently a lot of the our white nationalist fans in identity Europa
[00:10:32] Think that the bug joke is a reference to the term for a Jewish man being a bug man
[00:10:41] They yesterday I called one of them a loser on Twitter
[00:10:45] And then was inundated with bugman jokes
[00:10:51] Nick sending them a clue that he is actually a white nationalist
[00:10:56] He is infiltrated leftist. I guess this is a leftist podcast. Yeah, yeah leftist podcasting circles me and Adam
[00:11:04] We're gonna do a leftist podcast. Yeah, that would be crazy if that was the reality
[00:11:07] Yeah, that'd be so funny if you were sending clues
[00:11:09] Well, that skits a friend a guy on the subreddit
[00:11:12] That's what his whole thing was that Nick was sending him clues and he was gonna compile a supercut of all the clues
[00:11:19] That Nick was sending him which I really wanted him to make is it has it been made
[00:11:23] I think they drove him out of the red. I think everyone made fun of well. We're owning the trolls now
[00:11:31] Ready go I did shout out identity Europa a couple of weeks ago, but in it it's a comedy program
[00:11:39] So I was I don't know what identity Europe is but pan Europa that little coffee shop up by stand up New York
[00:11:45] Is that good? I love that place get a black and white cookie a nice piece of pizza pie
[00:11:49] I'm not a big black and white cookie fan. Yeah me either something about the mixing
[00:11:55] I do like that they're apart. Yeah, it's a message
[00:12:05] I much prefer sugar cookies and transmission
[00:12:12] The black and white cookie was originated in the Jewish deli culture and obviously it's the Jewish conspiracy to
[00:12:19] promote miscegenation between and mixing between the races in order for Jews to maintain their power and influence over
[00:12:26] Smart banks it is usually smart about that and they want everyone else
[00:12:30] Yeah, they say that guy's just insane this rapist with HIV guys seems like a truly pretty level
[00:12:37] Headed and he's just mean spirited. Yeah to say to say that stavros to make fun of his hair. Yeah
[00:12:43] Yeah, his teeth. Yeah, I'm fat and how dare you and I absolutely dare you dad's dick. How dare you how absolutely dare you?
[00:13:00] Yeah, I choose to cut it short. That's on the record
[00:13:04] But yeah, I mean so anyway, I feel like we really owned him pretty good Nick. Wouldn't you say this show does so much good work
[00:13:12] For so many retarded kids we do charity work pretty much the rest of our black people
[00:13:18] Listen to this show and they forget that the police are just out there waiting to kill them. It is true that this is the only
[00:13:25] The rest only recipe respite that black people have is listening to come town
[00:13:31] Yeah, and the opiate Anthony subreddit is trying to take that away from them. It's so fucked because they worship an honor
[00:13:39] That from my understanding is they love and agree with
[00:13:44] Dude, it's so funny. You were so right about it. They literally hate everyone
[00:13:52] That's what the entire internet should be I think there's honor. I love it so much
[00:13:59] You go there and there's like they just scrutinize absolutely everything Jim Norton does
[00:14:04] Yeah, they're like look what fucking shrimp dummy tried to eat a sandwich
[00:14:12] To you. Yeah, yeah, I mean they like dissect my girlfriends Instagram stories and dissect interesting
[00:14:22] Oh, that was the thing that was lost on the episode talking about that Korean woman
[00:14:27] pleading to Donald Trump to tell Kim Jong-un to
[00:14:30] Yeah, yeah, yeah, because she was like well, I live in no Korea. I had to eat dragonflies
[00:14:38] It's like how do you have to eat that seems I?
[00:14:41] Am a rich man, and I don't think there's a way if today if I went out and I said I want to eat a dragon fly
[00:14:47] I live in New York City. Yeah, I couldn't make that happen for myself. You got to eat
[00:14:52] Yeah, it's exotic. Why don't we look at it that way how much protein bugs have you know how much Jack do you get chasing down dragonflies
[00:15:02] Well, it's probably easier you just grab right out of the air with chopstick. Oh, yeah, I forgot
[00:15:09] Don't she would be at chopsticks. She can do that she can it's maybe unbelievable
[00:15:14] Yeah, I mean it does I guess North Korea does make sense because if you have like an
[00:15:18] An authoritarian regime, right? You need to protect. Yes, of course, and you live in a country where everyone knows karate
[00:15:26] You should in prison. Yes, it's not like America where you can just do it and expect people to go back to playing their
[00:15:39] They're too busy buying visors in the D-des slides. Oh, yeah, you know playing with glow sticks and going to raids
[00:15:46] Absolutely necklace handy necklaces and you know they can that has been you know, and cuz Chachi
[00:16:01] Yeah, listen babe these kids out here going to raves
[00:16:04] Yeah, you think oh it's cool to you know your friends watching run low or run on VHS
[00:16:22] Listening to you out of touch. Yeah, how bizarre. Yeah now. That's what I call music to oh
[00:16:28] Oh, hell yeah, I was a big now boy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was big cowboy
[00:16:34] I was a big cowboy too. Yeah, just out on the range. You know it
[00:16:39] Was on the now. That's what I call music all chaps. You know, right?
[00:16:44] There's not such thing is asked chaps. I like an
[00:16:47] Hands so it's redundant. You're taking issue with it. What about what about you
[00:16:51] What about the chaps chaps do those exist do they I don't know I want dickless chaps now that I think about it
[00:17:02] What was my favorite song Adam go home it was Mandy Moore's candy I did like that song. Yeah
[00:17:08] I know I brought this up before but every like once a year I remember that there was a fat man named Jonathan
[00:17:23] You said John Candy don't think about it, but John like imagine imagine he's not famous. Yeah
[00:17:32] Like that and they're like what's your name sir? He's like Jonathan candy
[00:17:39] You think it's funny to give a fake name to the DMV people who is my name is actually Jonathan candy try to open a bank account
[00:17:49] Damn that's his real name that'd be hilarious to be changing from Hollywood. Yeah, I'm gonna change my name is Stevie hamburgers
[00:17:58] Stevie hamburgers. It's gotta be Americanized. I can't be stop hamburgers. Yeah Stevie hamburgers
[00:18:04] Yeah, why didn't your family change your name at Ellis Island. We have too much respect for it
[00:18:09] Do they have to come in throughout they should bring Ellis Island back. Yeah, my family came over in a list on 82
[00:18:15] So did mine yeah 82 really yeah same year. Yeah, really weird. Maybe we're standing next to each other in line
[00:18:22] Yeah, I was like our sons will never be a friend. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well my family and my dad was like I'll show you
[00:18:28] My family very anti-Semitic they should bring back Ellis Island just for the renaming or not learning people's names
[00:18:36] Well, my other than you could get a job in 1880 is the guy that writes down things
[00:18:41] And you just don't know how to spell or read yeah, all right Miller
[00:18:45] They were like they changed everyone's name and Ellis. How do we know that wasn't just one guy that was bad at his job?
[00:18:50] Probably maybe it was a black one. They did it to my family too. I'm not like what's your name? Yeah, like a little bush in the mirror
[00:19:00] I gotta take a phone call that happened to me yesterday home Depot. Yeah, you were
[00:19:05] Oh my god. Well, first of all I went to Ikea to get that
[00:19:09] Yeah, did you get it? So it's like picking picking polar whatever you could just get first of all all of the all of the
[00:19:17] Medicine cabinets were like special order except for that one. It's really nice, dude
[00:19:22] Uh, well very happy with it. Yeah, well, they were gonna don't let people know that I'm buying the same medicine
[00:19:34] Yeah, so I went to get like all of them and so it's like all well cuz you know those are special order
[00:19:39] You can't just somebody got placed an order for you. It's like what do you mean somebody?
[00:19:44] You're wearing an Ikea shirt. Yeah, they're like I mean I guess I could do it. It's like
[00:19:47] Do it, okay, and then okay, babe, and then so
[00:19:53] The guys like yeah, I was like yeah, I was like yeah
[00:19:56] I don't know where the computer is and it's like what do you credible?
[00:19:59] There's just like every single fucking step of the process is bolted to the floor. Yeah
[00:20:05] At the customer's no we're in the in like the bathroom area and then another guy comes up
[00:20:09] He's like look here go right here and the computer literally right behind
[00:20:13] He's like man, I'm even I even think the look
[00:20:24] Then he places the order and then cuz I described which cap like mirror. I want they had no idea what it was and then so like
[00:20:30] You know, I'm like wandering around waiting for him to figure this shit shit out
[00:20:33] And then I find the one I want is just down in the self-serve area. I'm like perfect
[00:20:37] So I'll just go get it. He's like oh so I should cancel the order then I'm like yeah, and it's like
[00:20:41] He was like upset. Yeah, you can't leave you understand our hourly fucking job
[00:20:48] You're just gonna go one they get paid on commission and I can't do oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, there's their hot sales
[00:20:54] Yeah, so I go down and then push you it's a aisle 20 bin 19 right so got a aisle 20 or 21 bin 19
[00:21:02] Yes, and it's like they're just like boxed up. It's on a pallet and
[00:21:07] And it's not even high off the ground. It's like, you know, I levels right there, but it's a whole palette
[00:21:14] Yeah, it's all like Saran wrap so I was like
[00:21:21] Sorry I got an email from Hollywood handbook
[00:21:24] He says Hollywood handbook was wondering if come town would want to do some kind of plug promo trade with them
[00:21:30] We just did it marketing year. Well, yeah, I guess I have no fucking idea what it is
[00:21:36] Beverly says is funny. Yo, what's his name? Who the guy from Hollywood? Harvey Weinstein? No
[00:21:43] That other guy. It's pretty funny Bill Irwin. Yeah, you know what else I would other podcast. I listened to I was driving up here was doughboys
[00:21:50] I just funny dude. Yeah, it's all about
[00:21:54] Does that podcast yeah, I literally want to listen to any podcast. It's funny. I listen to dope
[00:21:59] And I feel like what I was in a dog wiger. Oh Nick wiger. Yeah. Well, anyway, so let me go back to complaining about this black
[00:22:09] We're trying to be New York broadcast I you're right. I just I'm trying to get on the good graces of the Anthony Kumi
[00:22:20] Oh, yeah, oh man, not even the opiate the guys there were two races for our
[00:22:33] Yeah, go ahead and play about these blacks anyway, so it's I'll 21 bid 19 my god was
[00:22:38] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm on the edge of my seat. Um, anyways, so it's just on go up to the lady
[00:22:46] And I say you know, well now everybody's on their phone. No, no, I just what are you looking at here?
[00:22:51] I just got a text from Jonah. No the Washington Post
[00:22:55] The post most 13 bald eagles for fat Adams reading an article about
[00:23:00] Going missing no, I had a text that I just looked at your background is picture your dog and your girlfriend
[00:23:08] My background is a picture of Ian bombing. Yeah, you always go irony
[00:23:19] Yeah, yeah, yeah go play laser tag. I think they canceled laser. What that's what Deb said good
[00:23:26] I wanted to go play laser tag. They're just doing a bar
[00:23:28] But I mean honestly good they should cancel I will be invited I lazy tags David the beer nerd to
[00:23:36] And every party you hang out with him a lot no, but it was really funny dude Nick you miss it
[00:23:41] But he was saying the front row funny mom
[00:23:44] It's stop it. I was standing behind him and he was playing games
[00:23:51] But David David who is a bird. Oh, yeah, he's played games on his phone in the front
[00:24:03] I don't understand this offer like a promo swap it
[00:24:09] Like we just did it. We just did it. We just plug. I don't know but like what would a bizarre transactional thing to
[00:24:18] Hey, whatever we mean whatever don't be a coward
[00:24:20] I'm not a join with me on I don't give a fuck. Okay. I don't care. I think it's fine if we do that
[00:24:26] I know I think it's fine, too, but it's I
[00:24:29] Mean I've never like mutually decide to publicly like each other with that
[00:24:35] I don't know it just seems I heard that it's a very good part. I hear yes
[00:24:38] I hear it aside from that everyone says it's a very funny pocket and I'm sure it is I
[00:24:44] Never listen, but I see if I'm gonna plug any podcast. I'm gonna plug the low post podcast that low. Yeah, excellent job
[00:24:51] But anyway going back to doughboys. Yeah, they they went to golden corral and just talked about it for an hour and it seems great
[00:24:56] Yeah, they go like doing shitty restaurants. Yeah, can we just start can that become the dude?
[00:25:00] I've been saying for years. I want to take your ass to fucking Chinese
[00:25:05] Let's go and get our little leather daddy outfits on get kicked out of Chinese buffet being too gay
[00:25:10] I would love to do that. He said do not you can't be so gay
[00:25:24] Just emptying the soft serve machine into my own ass
[00:25:28] I love that that is an element of Chinese buffet
[00:25:31] That was the thing they're complaining about on that boy. What are these podcasts?
[00:25:34] They're like every joke is just something going into somebody's ass
[00:25:38] Yeah, they played like a five second clip of my podcast where I just talked about your standard
[00:25:43] Or my poo. Yeah, I stand up. Yeah, and they're like yeah
[00:25:47] It's like well you can imagine what their stand up would be and it's Adam on stage doing that thing
[00:25:57] Which is like just objectively it's bullshit
[00:26:03] Yeah, we don't yeah, we don't bring down the house
[00:26:09] Yeah, the other thing they were like okay first of all they don't say their names at the beginning of the podcast
[00:26:14] Yeah, hey, they don't say welcome to the painting
[00:26:17] You don't say don't you have no idea who these guys are going on and then they're like and in my guest today Andy
[00:26:27] Who is this? Well these guys sound like they've been waiting for something to do since blockbuster clothes
[00:26:37] So I did a stop laugh a supercut. Uh-huh sound better than the soundboard. Yeah, it sounded pretty good
[00:26:43] I mean to be fair like I do feel bad for people like that. They're like I followed all the rules and I'm still not successful
[00:26:50] Yeah, and they're like these were kind of like the Homer Simpson or Frank Grimes. Yes
[00:26:55] They don't have a song they got mad. We didn't have a song at the beginning which we did
[00:26:59] Guess what if I didn't want to get to hear the song
[00:27:03] So go my dick because I'm gay nice. Let me fuck your asshole
[00:27:10] What do you guys think of that one? I think it's pretty good. I like anyway bin 10 box 19. Yeah, let's go back to Ikea
[00:27:24] Yes, babe, you got to be drunker than uh
[00:27:29] Constant the no ball. Yeah, yeah when Hannibal's having a chat with queen Elizabeth. That's right brother in the bathroom of the loo
[00:27:45] He sucks so much. Oh, yeah, you remember when he did monday night football. He was like that reminds me of charlemagne
[00:27:51] The maggot car is something that's cheap. I love me. I love when he was like hey on tuesday
[00:27:57] I'm gonna have some mean ass jokes about michelle wolf and she never
[00:28:03] Like give me give me five days to write these jokes about a ginger was really hard to make fun of by the way just
[00:28:09] hilarious right her voice alone. It's like come on Dennis. Yeah, right some rosties
[00:28:14] Yeah, she looks like a like a salamander that was trying to eat red pubes. There you go
[00:28:19] That's better than anything. He's ever done. You know she reminds me of a
[00:28:22] Of uh, uh, michael you're going down and netflix the entire organization
[00:28:28] So why are you worried about shots being fired stuff? I like michelle wolf. Yeah, but I like
[00:28:33] Shots I like ruining relaying firing guns
[00:28:37] Shots anywhere except for at good people and just without recklessly shooting off fine
[00:28:42] My mally would handbook. How about that? Would that make you feel bad? I didn't say fuck holly
[00:28:49] Stop suck my fucking dick hollywood handbook. There we go. That's what i'm looking for. Yeah, how about that?
[00:28:59] Sis a suck my dick unless you're actually gay. I didn't mean it as hate speech. Yeah, is that a gay show who should be carefully?
[00:29:05] Probably is I don't know. I mean they are
[00:29:08] I'm trying to be in the next star wars. Maybe I can't be seen
[00:29:14] If I'm trying to be art i'm trying to replace our two d2 is one of the robots, but I still look like a man
[00:29:20] Yeah, I think that'd be good. They're going your body paint it is
[00:29:23] You're fully naked. You just have white paint on the top my heart our d2
[00:29:50] Yeah, that's um, that's a really fucked up thing, you know, you I would be willing to bet
[00:29:59] That you we're not at 30 minutes. Yeah, we are. No, I got a timer on my phone. We're literally three
[00:30:03] four three two one guess who likes gambling
[00:30:11] What would you be willing to bet stop and then where would you bet?
[00:30:13] Well, if I was willing to if I was had to bet that nik is if he's going to be in the next star wars
[00:30:18] I would bet no and I would bet at bet dsi.com
[00:30:23] The mother fucking most premiere ass fucking website for betting in the universe. Yeah, wouldn't you say nik?
[00:30:29] Uh, I would I wouldn't say the most mother fucking I would disrespect
[00:30:34] I wouldn't disrespect a website that's been in business for over 20 years. Well, I didn't even know websites could be that old
[00:30:39] Yeah, they can be that old. Do they do good ass payouts? They do good ass payouts
[00:30:48] A mobile interface play bet when easy use it's fun. You guys have used it yourself
[00:30:53] So you it read most recently a gamble on the world cup. Yeah, which is either happening now or over it's
[00:30:59] Happening it's never gonna stop and it let's stop. He's number one lock of the century bet the russians to win
[00:31:05] Yeah, hooten is fixing this shit, bro. How much money have you won off that?
[00:31:09] Uh, I'm won one big bet on the calves like 200 bucks, but I lost a little more on the sixers
[00:31:17] That one of you bet in one. Um, I bet uh for you ran
[00:31:28] And it's not just sports you can bet on they got all like how many times is donald trump gonna
[00:31:33] How many goofball things is donald trump gonna say well, he's genociding those children
[00:31:38] Just just stuff like that. We all need some levity right? Yeah, they'll offer live in game wagering, you know
[00:31:46] Yeah in the middle of the game, you know, go ahead maybe you can hedge your shit. Yeah, maybe you're a procrastinator
[00:31:50] Yes, you know you're trying to get a little juice on that on one quarter
[00:31:53] It may be boring. What do you guys picks is?
[00:31:56] Pixies, uh pick the russians for real. That is my real pick. I legit think that's your real
[00:32:01] I think they will dude every time a dictator gets a fucking the world cup. They always been there now getting through the groups
[00:32:06] Yeah, that is true. I'm assuming one and then argin tina argin tina one. Yeah, I'm gonna bet on them
[00:32:11] I always bet on america america's not in it. I'm bad on america
[00:32:17] I like that. I like that. That's the movie
[00:32:21] You want my picks? Yes bet on america. Yes. Hell yeah america
[00:32:26] Dream team we send all from all of our the our top soccer team. Yeah
[00:32:35] The fc. Oh, it should be uh the us soccer player. I guess the teams don't have names. Yeah, it's just yeah
[00:32:41] Yeah, it's a national team. It's a national team. There's been your gred boozers fc
[00:32:46] Dallas dallas. There's uh, there's ray al salt lick. That's the funniest one. What the fral salt lick
[00:32:54] There's there. I think in salt lake there's actually a vibrant immigrant. Anyway, there is real me royal
[00:33:01] It means royal. Yeah, rael medrid is uh the
[00:33:05] Supposed to be the queens team. Oh, I know they're also the racist team. Can you imagine the queen of spain?
[00:33:11] Yeah, they used to throw good ass paella pussy. Anyway, so go to bet the aside.com use promo code cum
[00:33:23] Start betting today make some money make some fucking scratch bitch
[00:33:27] And uh, yeah, I guess we get to talk about
[00:33:31] About these immigrant kids. Yeah, we hate some good takes before they're free dude. They're free now
[00:33:36] Yeah, trump sending them from the baby concentration and I get it the regular ones trump said that
[00:33:42] This the the only way this is gonna end is if the democrats fucking
[00:33:47] Uh, uh change the law the law that they made by the way. Yep, which is it was a bomb. It's good. It was good
[00:33:53] It's good. Well obama did have the tensions. I think I really was deported more people than any president every obama's fucking cream
[00:34:00] Fine. Yeah for sure. Yeah, but the difference was it said the infrastructure for trumps
[00:34:04] He wasn't I know obama wasn't separating the kids and I think you study the holocaust any other atrocity in history
[00:34:11] Nobody has a problem with the gas chambers. No prisons. No the problem is is that they separated the children from their parents
[00:34:18] A universally exactly and so like no one is saying don't imprison families
[00:34:25] No one's saying no one's saying that which it would be unreasonable to expect us not to just
[00:34:30] Immediately throw people in yes chicken wire jails. It used to be walmart
[00:34:36] Yeah, you know just let the kids get raped with their parents. Yes. Well their parents watch help while their parents watch
[00:34:43] Yeah, don't separate the family. That's true. My family. Sir
[00:34:50] My president sir 45 sir. Yeah, 3045 mr. Cheese doodle and g
[00:34:56] I feel like if you say sir like that you should there should immediately be a very tiny knife that's inserted into your hands
[00:35:03] Real quick just to remind you that you're not you know sir Thomas more or whatever
[00:35:18] You should lose how much self-awareness do you have that you think you oh sir like that guy with the the
[00:35:26] The guy who's like we have a girl with Down syndrome that's been separated from her parents. It's boring which like
[00:35:33] You know the separations are bad. It's bad. It's a bad situation. I understand why like you think like oh and she's retarded
[00:35:42] Gasky being like wamp. Yeah. Yeah, wamp. Why it is wild
[00:35:46] But I mean it's like oh can you believe the guy that got kicked out of the campaign for like beating a woman?
[00:35:54] Is like saying wamp wamp well the thing is now that he's been kicked out of the campaign for beating a woman
[00:35:59] He's now been hired by CNN and he was like a Harvard fellow. It's like yeah
[00:36:04] Oh, yeah, it doesn't end your career at all. You say they got harvard fellows. How about harvard fellows? Yeah
[00:36:16] It's a gentleman's club we just out here in kambridge. It's we rented out a store front with insurance money
[00:36:24] It's a place where you can chill smoke cigars play PlayStation 2
[00:36:29] Oh, yeah, mad no 7 with michael vick remember that year dude. He was
[00:36:33] Unsockable unstoppable stop. Oh, that's that's another fun. Wasn't that on the last one that we got lost?
[00:36:39] That was like the executives club or whatever
[00:36:42] That you were gonna do the exact number that no just some fake
[00:36:46] Oh, yeah, yeah, it was a good riff. Yeah, it was like a birch box for
[00:36:51] Yeah, yeah, it's fucking the something society. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, damn
[00:36:59] We actually yeah, the one we lost was a pretty good one. Yeah, yeah, I don't know this but I mean
[00:37:04] It was definitely the hype up. It was probably a six point eight out of ten. That's great for me. It's six point nine
[00:37:13] Come on. Well, I guess let's go. Let's get some riffs going seven out of ten wet naps. Those are on the table
[00:37:18] You know, I don't understand what what babe. What is it? Yes? You want to put a diaper on your face?
[00:37:26] You can you can feed yourself stuff your gullet like your
[00:37:37] You know, you just you just marched from the Volga river all the way to the Louve
[00:37:46] Come on. Yeah, and then what you got then you're having your wings down in Constantinople the battle of hermopales just happened
[00:37:53] Oh, yeah, you know what I want. I want to rub a diaper on my face
[00:37:57] And that's what a wet nap is folks got him also sounds very similar to
[00:38:03] Racial slave. It'd be funny if like he just didn't know shit and all the references are just like schizophrenic ramblings
[00:38:12] Does it matter that he knows anything is he smart like why the fuck does he know all that shit?
[00:38:17] Uh, he like read a couple books. Yeah. Oh, also in the last episode
[00:38:21] I said Einstein wasn't smart. Oh, yeah, that was good
[00:38:25] That was good. He sold it all from a Greek guy. Yeah, fuck my time. He was not that smart
[00:38:30] Yeah, that's a very dark man. He just knew math. Well, well, he didn't get good grades in school
[00:38:36] Right. Yeah, that was just we'll do a quick take recap. Yeah, pictures of the immigrant kids crying Adam said it was good
[00:38:43] I went pro niggling con so for all the identity of ropa guys my feelings is how do we know that's not a shitty kid
[00:38:50] Oh, that was true. That was a good take. Yeah, because I mean children cry all the time. Yeah
[00:38:56] For all I know that kid could have been demanding to run the concentration. Yes dad was like, yeah, we it's snack time
[00:39:03] Yeah, you know, so trying crying child doesn't do much for me good point
[00:39:08] Um, you know take what happened. Oh, yeah, chris hardwick. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the text messages came out
[00:39:16] Has it changed? What were the texts? I didn't see it
[00:39:18] I didn't see it. Something happened with that. Fuck Chris hard. There was some development. Honestly, who could do that job?
[00:39:23] I can't recall what it was. It can suck my dick irreplaceable. He's not that talented. Who could do that job of talking about a show after the show?
[00:39:31] Oh, hold on. I think he's innocent. I didn't read. I don't know any of the details. He agrees innocent, but you know folks
[00:39:36] I just got to say immigrant kids dying good this Chris hard-chuck guy
[00:39:42] You know, I've been a fan of this for years
[00:39:44] I've know I listen every every show on the faggots podcast
[00:39:49] I think he's great. There's no way he would do something like this. This guy who I definitely know and we're all my nerds
[00:39:55] Something Chris tardwick. Oh, yeah, chris hard. That was a good riff. Welcome to a p.m
[00:40:07] Oh, yeah, that's right. He doesn't have a letter. Yeah
[00:40:10] Yeah, oh he doesn't have the letters we talk we talk he dead on a
[00:40:15] Oh, yeah, he's like watching target dead on a
[00:40:23] Yeah, man. That's not my memory shit. That was a good episode
[00:40:29] Goddamn it. Hey, man. It's all right. No, this sucks. Yeah, no, it's I hate losing episodes
[00:40:34] I'm sure there's no one that's pissed off about us
[00:40:36] You know being well, let me tell you if you find the fucking like little Samsung SD card anywhere in the New York metro
[00:40:43] You want to pop that bitch into your fucking computer?
[00:40:46] You have a secret episode hidden so actually you know what I intentionally lost it and now there's a scavenger hunt in New York to find
[00:40:53] The missing SD card with the hidden come town episode where I did chris tardwick
[00:41:01] It's certainly not just the same fucking down syndrome guy. I've got a million because here's the big joke
[00:41:15] That retarded guy character is illiterate
[00:41:22] Damn you are watching a master at work. I guess whites are dying good. Fuck them white people. Yeah white people
[00:41:29] We mean they're dying. Well the the population of white people has defined for the first time where it's statistically significant now
[00:41:39] Sort of like how like they're just not having
[00:41:42] Immortal words of he who shall not be named because no the guy I bullied into becoming a librarian
[00:41:54] Well, maybe maybe it'll be good is it because we're fucking white like
[00:41:57] Don't you feel like we owe it to the world? No, no, it's literally there's been like a huge uptick in
[00:42:05] Interracial crime and like white people are just being murdered in numbers. What what are you talking about?
[00:42:11] No, I mean, I just read the new york times article
[00:42:13] It said that low low fertility rates and then also that there's like a huge number of black on white killings
[00:42:29] It says it right here. I mean, yeah, you can't make this stuff. I heard uh
[00:42:35] I heard date date in ohio is just a war that you can't go outside. No on average
[00:42:40] Uh, sick black on every reading directly from every six minutes a white person is killed by a black 13
[00:42:50] And he says this is this is to change the demographics
[00:42:56] As he pulls the trigger of the gun that only he's allowed to have by lana
[00:43:01] Because rate we took all the white people's guns away
[00:43:03] Uh fuck. Yeah, did you see the trump through starburst at uh angle america?
[00:43:11] What a king that's pretty fun. You know sometimes he does concentration camps
[00:43:15] But then sometimes he throws starburst. Thank you for the starburst
[00:43:18] It is so funny that he's just eating starburst and like an official ass government like world meeting
[00:43:29] I was just a fucking nerd should be tell him that yeah that I did that did you do it?
[00:43:36] Not only did I do it, but I just did a steve erkel impression
[00:43:41] Like two seconds ago prior to you saying that
[00:43:52] That would be fun like if steve erkel did the holocaust
[00:44:00] That'd be a fun episode of family matters. He goes. He does a time machine
[00:44:07] Erkel finds out that the jewish guy that owns the house that the windslows live in is like raising the rent
[00:44:17] Like steves experiment went terribly wrong
[00:44:19] I like they did it before that the holocaust had never happened
[00:44:26] So the first half of family matters is in a world where there's way more jews. There's no world war two
[00:44:37] The second half is our universe as we know it
[00:44:41] Yeah, shuts out to steve erkel staphon or kel steve erkel. Yeah, I love that's good. I love it
[00:44:46] I'm gonna suck a dog's day. I'm gonna staple my nuts to my leg
[00:44:52] Lara look there's a rocket dildo in my ass. I love you lara
[00:44:58] So what is the story a girl with Down syndrome got separated from her family?
[00:45:02] And I think one of the fathers that lost his kids got committed suicide
[00:45:07] I mean, I don't understand how to fuck you like
[00:45:10] Work for I I don't understand. I really just don't fucking understand it
[00:45:16] It's it's just like if you want like what like what?
[00:45:22] If you want to be a coach your animals. I don't understand like yeah, but the regular cops are racist to begin with that's right
[00:45:27] It's like the more racist. No joke. Do you have to be physically? How the fuck are you doing that job physically?
[00:45:34] No, no, no, I mean how the fuck are you doing that job and not having like a severe fucking crisis
[00:45:39] You think you want to be in a good stopa you think nobody wants to be I just don't get I got don't
[00:45:45] There's no way you don't have any kind of like historical contacts
[00:45:49] You don't understand there are a ton of people that don't have that context or that think and that they're racist as fun that that erases
[00:45:56] They think it is good. It's a funny thing
[00:45:59] They think they think it's hilarious like Pete. Yeah, somebody was like posting shit of like
[00:46:04] Someone like from Baltimore posted like a thing which like can you believe what we're doing and then there were people that were like
[00:46:08] Yeah, I see him. I don't see the only problem. I see is it, you know, they're still breathing
[00:46:12] What's the story with they like they took immigrant kids that were separated and brought them in New York City?
[00:46:18] Yeah, and like drop them off in the Bronx. Yeah, like an orphanage and de Blasio's like what the fuck are you doing?
[00:46:23] Like where what do we do with these straight up stealing? It is kidnapping. It is kidnapping. Yeah, it rocks
[00:46:29] Yeah, it's really dope. This is wild. And then there was that cop
[00:46:32] We brought this up in the last episode there was that cop in Texas that was raping four-year-old mexicans
[00:46:36] And then telling the parents that he was gonna deport them if they snitched
[00:46:40] And aren't these people like asylum seat wasn't there some kind of yeah, didler, Texas Ranger
[00:46:55] And he's pulling his dodger his dodram truck. I wish I knew anything else about the Walker, Texas Ranger
[00:47:00] Um, there's no way I can I can yeah walk that bit. There's a black guy
[00:47:07] Walker Haley Joe Osmond was on it and he had AIDS. There's that famous Conan clip was like I have AIDS Walker. Mm-hmm. Remember that Walker, Texas
[00:47:18] Stranger danger under age Walker, Texas stranger danger Walker, Texas. That's not bad. That's not bad. But under age
[00:47:32] So yeah, that take that that guy that's a rapist of yeah, and he you should see a picture of this guys
[00:47:38] Yeah, I guess that's why everything's bigger in Texas because when it's in a child's hand. He's like 600 pounds
[00:47:44] Petit files being 600 pounds. What do you mean? There's like it like I'd say how to stop you want to feel
[00:47:53] We're doing a mug shot of a pedophile. They're like 900 pounds remember when we were doing Bobby Kelly's
[00:47:59] Podcasts and was John Morse was there and like you told some story about showing your dick to a kid
[00:48:04] And he didn't realize that you were talking about you also as a child. Yeah, I was a little kid
[00:48:12] That was so funny. He was like he was about to get up out of that chair and fucking just
[00:48:19] Look in his eyes and I wouldn't have stopped him either
[00:48:22] That's a big dude first of all imagine telling a story for a laugh about a grown man
[00:48:32] Looking like you and it's like you're this is your budding comedy career. You go and you know what dude
[00:48:37] You're like I showed my penis to a child
[00:48:45] What I thought it was fun. Yeah, I was trying to convince this guy looks at stuff
[00:48:50] He's like you showed your fucking dick to a kid
[00:48:53] And he like I swear to god. It was like I mean if he had not like been able to clarify
[00:49:00] That would have been it for you. I mean lights out now. I would have fucked his now. You wouldn't have done shit
[00:49:05] I would have fucked you when that shit cuz that's not the kind of that's not the kind of fight you can win
[00:49:10] You can't say I showed my penis to a child and beat somebody
[00:49:13] A fight if he wins the fight then I think he's well he had just told the story about like his baby daughter
[00:49:20] Like being in the hospital and then I followed it up with I showed my dick to a kid
[00:49:26] Sometimes you got to do what you got to do
[00:49:30] And that's being a child and trying to get a kid to show each other show you his dick
[00:49:36] Yeah, because my mom told me not to show anyone my privates
[00:49:38] Right that I had a whole period of being like a four-year-old flasher. Yeah. Yeah
[00:49:50] Hmm like I really I really thought we get more mileage out of the starburst thing, you know
[00:49:55] Oh the starburst saying wait, what did he do?
[00:49:58] Hold on should we go back to that down syndrome girl that was separated from her family and do an impression of her?
[00:50:03] No, I don't know that but how about this we could do an impression of her father and
[00:50:08] The ice agents tell him what has to be done to get his daughter back. Yeah
[00:50:13] All right, we're gonna let our only female ice agent
[00:50:21] Have you seen that porn we've talked about this before porn there's like a porn where it's like sort of oh I saw
[00:50:26] Hereditary by the way. Yeah, what you think I liked it. I disagree with your do you thought you thought it was scary?
[00:50:31] Well, nothing really scares me. Yeah. Yeah, I don't have fear in my heart
[00:50:43] Warrior fear. I fear nothing. No in fact, I will confront every each and every member of the open Anthony
[00:50:52] Don't you dare and by the way guys we are not mad at anything we just think it's fucking fun. Yeah
[00:50:57] I know I am pissed. Are you I think it's just funny. I'm really mad dude
[00:51:01] And you know what here you probably didn't consider this I cried myself to sleep
[00:51:09] Is maybe is that what you wanted that we guys wanted me that me to have a moment where I thought maybe I don't deserve
[00:51:18] $400,000 a year is that the feeling you want to inspire me because guess what that's what it did
[00:51:29] Oh Nick, you're not on Twitter, but there's this Twitter account called the racism dog
[00:51:34] Yeah, I saw it got trouble because it barked at a story about a black woman committing a hate crime as if it were racist and people like
[00:51:40] That's not racism and then and then they deleted the account because it's a much emotional label
[00:51:46] Yeah, they didn't post about how they were taking for bro tweeting and going wolf to do emotional labor to do some
[00:51:55] To do some self care. What a fucking loser which anytime someone's self care and they're not talking about jacking off like fuck off
[00:52:02] I love to jack. No, they're talking about like recovering from their narcissistic injury where they take two days to be like
[00:52:08] You know what those people are wrong. I am better than everyone else. Yeah, exactly. Oh, so what did you do?
[00:52:13] What the fuck you literally just it would go wolf. It sucked that account sucked dick all accounts suck
[00:52:19] There's nothing good on Twitter. I think some there's some points on NYC. Guito voices good God rest his soul. Thank you
[00:52:28] Yeah, I like the poor source of show their titties more. Yeah, I like that they can just show that like
[00:52:34] I love that. I'm proud as Twitter for not censoring nipples. Are you you're proud of them?
[00:52:39] I'm very proud pornography. Yeah, I'm proud of that company for pedaling pornography
[00:52:45] What do you mean pedaling? That's what they're doing. They're pedaling there not I don't think they're doing that's what you are
[00:52:50] Dude, you're a peddler and I love the phrase. I'm a monger. Not a peddler pedaling is awesome
[00:52:54] I'm a monger of goods the diddle peddle. I'm a mongrel of goods. You want to mongrel the stick
[00:53:02] Do you guys want to see the John Godi movie after the hell no not after this?
[00:53:05] I got a run home. I'm gonna I'm gonna see it with Madam Will. No, I can't but we should watch it
[00:53:12] We should watch it matter will and I have started a movie club recently you guys are coming
[00:53:18] Why don't you brag you just said that you that was you mad and will that we weren't invited? No, I'm trying to get you guys
[00:53:23] For the invite said we're not a jim I'm saying you guys can join thanks, bro
[00:53:28] That's really nice of you, man. Please please fuck you
[00:53:34] Apparently the John Godi movie is a piece of shit. Oh, I can't wait to see it
[00:53:39] I was thinking if we have to double up we should do an app and then watch the movie then do another we should go
[00:53:43] Watch the movie then come back and do them do it. I have to work today. Okay. What do you have to do?
[00:53:52] I'm actually a comedian who has dates that he has to prepare for I have to go
[00:53:58] Yeah, we have spots you forget that that means spots at three means stop
[00:54:02] I'm fucking I'm headlining shows and stop both your spots. We do comedy. I'm in Seattle and Portland
[00:54:07] Yeah, yeah, no, we go out and we do comedy spots
[00:54:10] You don't just say poo poo cock. We're gonna again for same seven minutes. We've been doing for the five years
[00:54:21] Professional comedian Lenny fucking Benny Bruce. I am Lenny Bruce. That's my honey Bruce Willis. Oh, that's good
[00:54:27] Yeah, what about Lenny Bruce Bruce Lenny Bruce Bruce. Oh my god
[00:54:37] That might oh man. I was a shame. I'm too tired to riff that out
[00:54:40] But that would be pretty hungry that would be the fucking best yeah, that's my those the other
[00:54:46] Somebody complaining about you on the right at they're like stop fucking ends every episode earlier
[00:54:51] He starts talking about what he needs to eat or that he's
[00:54:53] I mean that's pretty fair. I am every 45 minutes in I start getting hungry. Yeah
[00:55:01] Okay, wait, hold on Lenny Bruce Bruce. No, you can't let that one die, but just a reference here we go. Oh
[00:55:09] Shit, I don't know. He let me know let me bruce sucks. Yeah. Yeah his words. He said cock sucker
[00:55:14] That's what got him in trouble. Yeah, he'd go to jail for his words. Let me Bruce is one of the most overrated comedians of all time
[00:55:20] Yeah, I mean he's not gonna copy but it was important to go to jail for cussing. That's pretty cool
[00:55:26] I've gone to jail for cussing. No. Yes for being gay for but also cussing
[00:55:36] Well you fuck my ass I would say F word
[00:55:45] Yeah, I don't know a single Lenny Bruce
[00:55:47] It's in maybe maybe we go the opposite way where it's like a Bruce Bruce bit but told like a very self-serious Jew. Yeah, you know
[00:55:55] What's a Bruce Bruce bit? I don't yeah, everybody's got an uncle that
[00:56:04] Can't do it like Bruce impression either me neither
[00:56:07] It's like when I was like in when I was like 18
[00:56:09] I like would listen to it and be like yeah, this is the good shit
[00:56:12] I mean I listen though a shit ton of Bill Hicks when I was at age but Lenny Bruce. Let me Bruce never did that for me
[00:56:19] No, I didn't like most of it. I was like I was shooting these people be locking arms and protesting
[00:56:24] Cemeteries like Bill Hicks is almost indistinguishable from Tom Myers
[00:56:31] But there's nothing funny about Bill Hicks anymore. Yeah
[00:56:36] I'm sure this he's got something I mean as a limited body or the guy died when he was like 33 or whatever
[00:56:41] Yeah, let me got some serious ass cancer, right? I don't know
[00:56:51] One of us is probably I mean I I mean it's probably me. I had tumor my jaw. Thank God. It was benign
[00:56:57] No, I mean I think that there's some psychos. He's gonna kill you you think now dude. I'm starting to get paranoid
[00:57:04] About what he thinks someone's gonna murder him. No one cares that much about you Adam
[00:57:08] I don't know dude. They really don't I don't know they care just enough to mock you, but I don't have to kill you
[00:57:16] You think someone's gonna kill you. How would they do it? They go sit next to me in the movies. All right
[00:57:21] Let's hear me the entire movie. This is boring. We got to get some riffs going here the new urban power brokers business day
[00:57:32] What are that what are those what are that what are that?
[00:57:35] Where that I don't know I get from this illustration. It looks like Amazon's making robots to destroy Newark
[00:57:41] Oh fuck we can't let that happen. No, that'd be pretty sweet dude
[00:57:47] I love the people that like the people that move this shithole towns like Newark or Trenton or whatever
[00:57:52] They're like this place is gonna like come back people are done gentrifying New York City
[00:57:57] Which still has 25 30 years to go like I mean, it's never gonna happen
[00:58:01] We think like you're talking about all five boroughs. Yeah, manhattan's pretty much entirely
[00:58:07] Genshore Manhattan. Well, no, I mean there's some spots on our east side
[00:58:12] Yeah, but those are like yeah, not all of Harlem. Yeah. Oh
[00:58:16] The neighborhoods feel the black people are insignificant here in terms of like the in terms of the people are worthless
[00:58:22] No, no square mile that they're insignificant. I'm just talking about well
[00:58:26] I hope we're full. I hope all of our black listeners that need this show to overcome
[00:58:31] Don't aren't put off by Adams egregious racism. I know you're just pandering to the open Anthony subreddit
[00:58:38] I know trying to become the aunt of the show their favorite
[00:58:43] I love every one. I love Anthony. Come here. Do you what about that other thing? We're doing cruising
[00:58:48] There was an article about yeah, let's not go to the paper. What's going on in your life Adam?
[00:58:53] You love talking about I don't I don't want you carried some bags the other day
[00:58:59] You guys really think for father you've been telling us about this bag you've been how hard the bags were to carry
[00:59:04] I'm not I'm never talking about my life again. What kind of bag what what kind of bag was it?
[00:59:10] What are you talking about? He carried some bags of gravel. Oh, that's cool. I'll say yeah
[00:59:14] I'm heavy art for for this damn bro. I don't want bags. You think I was talking about that you were upset. I
[00:59:24] Just is there a bag that you carried like some very personal shit should we get back into TI 83?
[00:59:37] Of course. Yeah, I used to cheat all the time. You know a game. I loved to fall down
[00:59:41] Yeah, I fall down was good. I was too much for me though. I loved Phoenix though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll barrel
[00:59:47] Rose wait fall down was too much for you. It's so simple. Yeah, two simple overloads me when you have such a fucking complex mind
[00:59:57] Can remember that short circuit it? You know, I mean remember that skiing game for Windows 95 rich more
[01:00:04] Downhill or whatever it's called. That was good, too
[01:00:07] Yeah, what is it called? There's like a yeti
[01:00:09] Free ski at about with those 90 guys and it's guys own
[01:00:14] We had a couple of good guys. Oh, we did have a good
[01:00:17] It's right, right? It's Ray guys and he rides the fellow. Vader the fella
[01:00:25] God damn it. I'm so mad we lost that episode. I was so excited for this one because I thought it was gonna be good
[01:00:29] And now it's a goddamn shit hole because I'm fucking mad about that bitch at IKEA
[01:00:35] They wouldn't get the goddamn forklift to take that back. We never finished it. So we're back
[01:00:40] She got but no I think I go and so I go up to go up to the information desk and
[01:00:44] There were in blue shirts at the information desk and I'm like yeah, I need something
[01:00:48] I need to get a thing and then they go oh
[01:00:51] You need to talk somebody in a yellow shirt. It's like I
[01:00:54] What is this fucking distinct? I don't understand. Mm-hmm. We have different shirts for different roles
[01:01:00] What the fuck is the point of the information desk set?
[01:01:02] So I find a lady in a yellow shirt and I'm like hey, I need something taken down
[01:01:06] She's like what should mean you need something taken down?
[01:01:08] I'm like I don't know how to make it anymore fucking yeah
[01:01:11] Yeah, I really don't yes, and then you know she's like well
[01:01:15] I'm not gonna be coming down or whatever and so the guy comes up
[01:01:19] I'm like alright. This is what I need and I show him I'm like so whatever the fuck needs to happen that I get this
[01:01:24] Yeah, the guy sees that I'm like losing my temper and he's like he's like I'll take care of it
[01:01:29] He walks over I'm like that he's like oh, okay. Well
[01:01:33] See those those won't come down until tomorrow
[01:01:39] And I was like what the fuck are you talking yeah
[01:01:41] Yeah, and he was like if they don't have them on the floor then they're sold out
[01:01:45] I'm like mm-hmm you have inventory. It's right there and pointing at it
[01:01:48] Yeah, sell it to me because you won't get a fuck it. You won't have somebody take that palette down
[01:01:53] He's like yeah, that's not gonna happen till tomorrow
[01:01:55] Unbelievable shit. Yeah, they list that they have inventory on the website doesn't say sold out
[01:02:00] It's all the way in fucking red look which for our non Brooklyn listeners very difficult very far away with the public transit impossible
[01:02:08] You know we're gonna take a I'm gonna try to buy a fucking medicine cap same one as Adams. Yeah, no copy
[01:02:14] It was a bit actually it was not a bit I have a bit of
[01:02:27] You can't take my whole penis. Oh, I guess I should say a couple people in the redditor saying that if you find Adams commercial
[01:02:41] Don't find Adams commercial don't find Adam's yeah, you don't get to replace him
[01:02:49] Yeah, they're gonna do it then well introducing a new segment on the show I like to call tit titi talk titty talk
[01:02:56] I love it. I'm here for it. Let's go fellas. You know what I like to see is a big old parrot. It's yes brother
[01:03:02] Go off. I'm with you. This is it seem to move around the shape of him now. Do you like?
[01:03:08] What how heavy a hanging titty do you like do you like them high and tight to the knees?
[01:03:15] Yes, national, you know I want to see that bulge in your pants
[01:03:24] No bulge in her pants cuz her tits don't hang that
[01:03:27] Trash trash to you're not you're not being invited to wife central. I want a the bedroom
[01:03:39] There is like that keeps you keeping name on my asshole keep my name at you
[01:03:49] That was on the last episode to it was god damn it
[01:04:00] Fucking losing episode. It's good. We go to replace it. It's just absolute dog shit
[01:04:05] It I was okay for the first 30 minutes, but everything after that hey man mama Mia
[01:04:11] I guess it's you know people just stop listening to it. Yeah, hope give some shit up front people were like I think
[01:04:17] Concerned after the preview as they should be they were like sending me messages like make sure new snake. Okay. Yeah
[01:04:23] What is it because you sounded depressed I am depressed and then like I have been depressed whole fucking time
[01:04:29] Yeah, nothing has changed guys. You know things everything's the same everything's Oppa gangnam style
[01:04:37] Everything's feeling gangnam side side he had a second song
[01:04:47] Is that art section first of all what the fuck is going on with the art section?
[01:04:51] Yeah, it says one in here. That's like gay sex used to be illicit now. It's art
[01:04:57] Cruising yeah cruising getting fucked in your ass by strangers in the park is also Robert maple Thorp like made pictures of that shit
[01:05:05] Like for 30 years right it was on the art was our now. It's a product. Yeah, it was art back when it was subversive
[01:05:13] Now it's something that you can go to college for
[01:05:19] Green getting my stuff old question mark you mean fabulous on Instagram and then it's this lins later this 200 year old bitch
[01:05:27] I'm not 20. I don't want to be 20, but I'm really freaking cool. That's what I think about when I'm posting a photo
[01:05:35] Sounds gay it sounds stupid. Of course you want to be 20
[01:05:38] Yeah, nobody wants to be 78. There was so much better to be young than old. Yeah, I know I have no problem with my
[01:05:47] Diminishing status in society and the fact that I'm gonna die soon
[01:05:50] That's why I have an Instagram account where I take pictures of myself all the time
[01:05:55] This is just what every fucking millennial is gonna turn into this is just some wild fucking narcissist born in the Nazi era
[01:06:02] Mm-hmm. Then everyone will be like this. You think so. Yes, are you 70 70s the new no
[01:06:08] It's a failing against selfie culture right now. Is that what you're doing?
[01:06:13] Selfie culture. What are you talking about some old bitch on Instagram? He's mad at her
[01:06:18] What you know, you leave the room. You're not paying attention. I didn't leave the room. I got water
[01:06:23] Functionally look I know it's all the same open floor plan. I know but this is still the living room
[01:06:29] Once you cross when you cross the fridge you're in a different room
[01:06:33] This is the breakfast nook and that is the kitchen when you cross the fridge
[01:06:36] You're in a fucking you're in the fucking kitchen. Thank you. No worries man. I got you. We're the property brothers
[01:06:45] You don't have to be perfect at confidence. You can still show your cleavage without being told to cover up
[01:06:51] This is a 94 year old that sounds disgusting. She said it's like I would see some old titties. Yeah, I
[01:06:57] I receive a lot of happy messages saying please live longer. I want to get older like you
[01:07:02] You know who didn't Anthony Bourdain. He had the right idea
[01:07:06] Yeah, okay, babe. That's cool. Yes. Yes. That's right. I'll try Chi
[01:07:10] Okay, what is Chi Chi he says it? What is it from that show?
[01:07:14] Joanie loves Chi Chi what is that was a show is calling people just two seasons. Yeah, it was a spin off of happiness
[01:07:22] Mm-hmm. I think it was a spin off of Charles in charge. No, no Charles in charge totally different show starring the same guy
[01:07:32] Scott Scott Gao is in a packs television series replays a doctor. It moves to New York
[01:07:44] Like like bunny ears channels you get like for free you mean the playboy like 11
[01:07:58] I mean the playboy channel now packs television was like the
[01:08:02] Back television was like the best television station of all time, dude. I was just talking about this last night
[01:08:08] Did just at people yeah, you know what I was in the west village
[01:08:12] I went to that cafe regio or whatever and that's why all your weed. Did you smoke Reggie? I smoke head
[01:08:18] No, you know smoke heads you smoke mids bitch. I was called a head shop, right?
[01:08:23] Anyway, you're a cafe regio guess who walks in I'll give you 20 guesses as to which celebrity walk you for South
[01:08:31] Donald Sutherland no sigh from ganglob so no
[01:08:35] Here we you want maybe what a net Ben what I'm gonna a net Benning no
[01:08:38] Let's you ask that genie that can guess whoever you're thinking about cuz he is kind of an obscure celebrity
[01:08:44] Okay, pull up that genie. I don't know what that is the genie that guesses celebrities
[01:08:49] You know what that is Adam. I have no idea
[01:08:59] Acana never use this shit never know what is this shit? Hello? I'm an a canator look okay, so we're gonna this things great
[01:09:05] Okay, great. Okay. Is your characters gender female so no, okay?
[01:09:10] Is your character real? Yes is your character create music no
[01:09:15] This is 20 questions. Yeah your character a youtuber. No is your character more than 40 years old? Let me look him up
[01:09:26] Steve Buscemi no, that's not obscure. Let me see if you guys can guess him before
[01:09:50] Yeah, he is older than 40 years old. Did your character died? No sure character with the sports no
[01:09:56] It's your character an actor yes your character mostly playing comedies
[01:10:07] That's super famous. No, you're a Baldwin
[01:10:10] Your character do unboxing videos no is your character over 60 no
[01:10:14] So your character reloaded marble no does your character link to potatoes no
[01:10:19] It's your character where sweater no mr. Rogers was your character on a popular TV show yes
[01:10:28] Your character appear in yandere's simulate no your character like sweets no
[01:10:35] Your character entered a competition on TV no
[01:10:39] Damn, this is your character ever played the lead role in a movie. I gotta see if that's kind of a weird
[01:10:45] Don't look I just looked already in here. Yeah, god damn it
[01:10:54] Is it I'm gonna pretend I know the people at home or I didn't see on the edge of it
[01:10:59] Didn't see it, but I'm gonna guess like I didn't I did see it
[01:11:02] But I'm gonna guess like I didn't to keep the momentum he was on a TV show
[01:11:06] Yeah, he's on the TV show grounded for life
[01:11:13] Yeah, yeah, he's in the departed he's in the party a bunch of shit
[01:11:17] I was just watching you say no I want to see if it gets it that guy's funny. He is funny. He does do
[01:11:23] He does your comedies, but not primarily
[01:11:29] What's your character train with others no your character from a kid show no
[01:11:35] Your character here in the first season of a show yes, nice your character have a son I
[01:11:41] Don't know I keep having to go back to the Wikipedia
[01:11:43] I may have found one guy this fucking thing can't guess
[01:11:50] Puerto Rican and Irish whoa really why does an asset why does it just go immediately to race is he Puerto Rican and I I guess you know
[01:11:58] They probably had to like because of PC bullshit this thing can't ask the hard-hitting questions. Yeah black
[01:12:04] Yeah, this guy like you character before being
[01:12:10] Gee stop me. That was also funny you saw in the last episode. No, he just said it right now
[01:12:15] Oh, yeah, I drew a genie. No, no, no when Nick said that yeah, well it got Peter Dinklage
[01:12:23] I am wrong. Yes, it sucks. No. Yeah, it's your character
[01:12:27] You can ask this guy guessed me somebody didn't mean it guessed me. Yeah, that's crazy
[01:12:32] You can't get this one you can't get Kevin an actual famous. Yeah, yeah, it's a character in TV show that already ended
[01:12:39] So your character already played a high school student probably not your character drive a mech
[01:12:45] No, it's your character falling the holes a lot. No
[01:12:49] Your character have dark hair. Yes is your character white. Yes. Here we go
[01:12:53] Your character finally got to the real shit your character played a TV show that place takes place in New York
[01:12:58] Yes, was your character once human yes? No, he's not on friends. No, he's not a long order
[01:13:06] Your character said to be a hot guy probably not
[01:13:13] You're carrying advertising though as your character been a lawyer
[01:13:17] Probably not as your character sing on on a stage
[01:13:21] Don't know is your character Republican minded don't know
[01:13:24] It's your character from Firefly. No, there you go your character of roommates
[01:13:30] No, it's your character tall. No your character from Top Gun. No
[01:13:37] Your character have a strong fascination for guns Jeremy Pivent
[01:13:48] Probably not your character linked with video games. No, it's your character nerdy. No
[01:13:52] It's your character associated with comedy. Yes, your character. We're a headset. No, it's your character an urban legend
[01:14:02] This thing has never been this bad. I was like I'm with a birthday
[01:14:07] March 27th, that's Ares is it? Oh, would you know the zodiac's I'm Ares your fucking gay?
[01:14:14] You're gay hold on that might be the link though is your character associated with the Terminator film franchise. No
[01:14:22] Does your character drink a lot? I don't know is your character a stand-up comedian. No
[01:14:27] It's your character from Drake and Josh
[01:14:30] No, the character from a Broadway show probably does Broadway right every one of these new guys
[01:14:36] Result who cares dude fuck this guy. Okay, the genie. I'm sorry. Do you want to direct the show? Yes?
[01:14:46] Keep working on him though. Let's see if we ever get him. Yeah, I keep going
[01:14:53] Middletown Rhode Island, which I thought I was gonna be in Providence apparently in some bullshit ass like a redneck part of
[01:15:02] It's gonna be a nice fun show and then next week. I'm in Seattle the 28th Thursday
[01:15:08] At laughs, please get tickets for that motherfucker. I'm in Portland on the third at the funhouse lounge
[01:15:16] And then we also have funny moms the 25th coming up this Monday
[01:15:19] Nice lineup Tim Dylan claro cane Ronnie Chang from the Daily Show. I believe that's it
[01:15:27] So did it get it Nick no, I'm at 78 questions
[01:15:30] So this thing sucks this genius you try it pick a fucking different one a
[01:15:38] Different person different person and it's surprisingly accurate really I can't guess Kevin Corrigan from grounded for life
[01:15:47] It'll feel easy your character is not one of the most popular characters
[01:15:55] Well it asked you who you gave up now will it ask you or no? No damn you stump the genie
[01:16:04] I stumped the genie good for you, and that's you know what a lot of people may say I'm bad at podcast
[01:16:16] Then we don't have the music or jokes. We don't say say welcome. There's no plan
[01:16:21] I'm gonna say welcome, but guess what Andy we just stumped the thing. Yeah that fucking dumbass genie
[01:16:32] That I just stumped man, I wish we hadn't lost that episode. Yeah, it was good. It was good whatever
[01:16:38] They'll be more good. That's like fully at some point. Oh, sorry everybody that ought to do it gang
[01:16:45] And you know be on the lookout for that little SD card somewhere in the subway of New York City
[01:16:51] Come out to find my mom's come out to see me. Goodbye everyone