[00:00:00] guys we don't have to go back here, please?

[00:00:03] No, but it's so close to us.

[00:00:07] Here comes the

[00:00:09] Two kinds of things.

[00:00:12] Did I use W

[00:00:13] Itd

[00:00:14] M

[00:00:16] GR

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[00:00:18] There

[00:00:20] Th

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[00:00:23] N

[00:00:25] Then

[00:00:26] done

[00:00:28] D

[00:00:29] Hello everybody

[00:00:34] Welcome to come town 11 11 you're right

[00:00:40] So I got right yeah nine nine eleven

[00:00:43] We skipped right from do we have an episode 10 can we not have one can we go straight from nine to 11?

[00:00:49] Well, we already did we did well last one was in that episode 11 then now is you know, right in this one's episode 12

[00:00:56] It's like in in buildings where they skip the 13th floor the 13th floor because I

[00:01:06] Don't know it's like superstition. Yeah, it's superstition the word about ghosts. Yeah

[00:01:10] Yeah, there's actually a movie called nightmare on the 13th floor and I asked sometimes I asked people

[00:01:16] I'm seeing it a bunch and I say to people have you seen nightmare on the 13th floor and they go oh the 13th floor

[00:01:21] I'm like nope

[00:01:23] Different movie I wouldn't have said nightmare on the 13th floor if I meant have you seen nightmare before Christmas?

[00:01:30] Oh, yeah nightmare on Elm Street. No, that's a completely different thing

[00:01:34] You took those I've been lifting weights and I'm ready to just fucking be a sarcat

[00:01:39] I like when you get if you get strong enough like you think you're funny because you just you just a dismissive

[00:01:45] Oh, yeah, no, that's real funny, dude

[00:01:48] Psych that's this they they psych people like is the best though 45

[00:01:53] Well, I mean I feel like we're really bearing the lead here Nick. No, we're not

[00:01:59] Oh, yeah

[00:02:03] The Puerto Rican rattlesnake some asshole on Twitter tried to say that Lewis J. Gomez is the original Puerto Rican

[00:02:10] Yeah, I don't like to be stole that from us first of all. He's not even Puerto Rican

[00:02:14] Lewis J. What is he's not even I think he's just an insane clown posse. Oh, yeah

[00:02:19] Yeah, he's an insane clown. I think they like listen joke theft is very serious in comedy

[00:02:24] And like we're not like gonna be Joe Rogan's about it and like call you out

[00:02:27] But like I am dude. That's why I'm going to the gym. That's what I'm getting strong. Yeah, I'm doing MMA to confront jokes

[00:02:35] Lue is about stealing the Puerto Rican rattlesnake name from us. Yeah me and me and Lewis are gonna have a fucking four and a half second fight

[00:02:43] And we both run out of breath because either of us are actually in shape

[00:02:46] I like how people look at Lewis and they're like oh that in the comedy community and they're like yeah

[00:02:50] Lewis is in like good shape, but in any other community. He looks like shit

[00:02:55] Yeah, that's how every comedian everyone who's hot for a comedian is just like not ugly. Oh, yeah, that's it

[00:03:01] We got really low smart like people think I'm smart. Yeah

[00:03:06] And they're not having read a book in fucking five years. Yeah

[00:03:09] Not even Harry Potter

[00:03:12] No, I read those before five

[00:03:15] Years ago. Yeah, I found out Dumbledore was gay and he's like this is about me

[00:03:19] What the fuck dude dude?

[00:03:21] Yeah, you're gonna be like this we talked about this off Mike and I don't want to stop with the gay cuz I am secretly gay what

[00:03:29] Oh, you edit that out. Yeah, we'll edit that out. So there's no

[00:03:32] I'm there's no real like burying a lead here because it's gonna be in the description of the episode

[00:03:40] Yeah, so people know yeah, we should say it should still break it down. Well, I got a column in in eight minutes

[00:03:46] Well, let's just say it minutes some people won't understand some people can't read

[00:03:51] That's true people who can't read

[00:03:56] Probably are

[00:03:58] Definitely in our top three guests well, that's the best guess doctor. He's probably ever get we've had

[00:04:04] The second biggest second biggest get second biggest guest we have David Cross the real David Cross

[00:04:10] It's not a case isn't actually yeah. It's not we actually David Cross

[00:04:20] We set up like we're like guys seriously David Cross

[00:04:23] I promise you it's David Cross and then we do a two and a half hour episode and it's like oh, okay

[00:04:30] Now it's time to call them and then it's a hello everybody

[00:04:37] Yeah

[00:04:38] That would be

[00:04:40] That would be great. But see because I said that that's how you know that it's not that's not the joke right right right?

[00:04:46] It's it's really him

[00:04:48] Yeah, we're excited. Yeah, well see now we already mentioned that so what are we gonna talk about in the next well five and a half minutes?

[00:04:55] So I don't know comeia studios. They don't really have the perfect setup or technology for well

[00:05:01] I have to explain that to David when we call him. Okay, unfortunately

[00:05:06] Yeah, I came up with a really smart plan well

[00:05:10] Yeah, I only have there's only one you can only plug one set of headphones into the four tracks

[00:05:14] So I'll be the only one that can actually hear him

[00:05:16] But he'll be you know I call him on the phone you guys the audience will be able to hear him

[00:05:22] But Adam and Star Wars won't I guess we could yeah

[00:05:26] I mean the the head earbuds won't even stretch across the table. So we can't split I'm gonna have to

[00:05:33] We're gonna have to figure out a way to you don't do it, but you guys that's like you know

[00:05:38] Remember in Apollo 13 when they get stuck on the moon

[00:05:41] And they're like how do we or they don't get they get stuck there in space they go there

[00:05:48] They're trying to get to the moon and they you know something happens

[00:05:53] something a bunch of alarms go off and

[00:05:56] You know those spoilers Houston. I we have a Houston. I have a problem

[00:06:01] Uh-huh that line is actually from Apollo 13

[00:06:04] And it's well what happens is they are there in space and they have a problem and they have to get back

[00:06:10] And so back at Houston there you know like we don't take there's no you don't say no or quit for an answer

[00:06:17] We don't and they use

[00:06:19] You know they come together and they get a bunch of like

[00:06:23] Stuff out of the supply closet

[00:06:26] No, I'm serious. That's a scene in the movie

[00:06:28] Yeah, and that's how they save Apollo 13 is with a bunch of odds and ends so that's what we're doing David Cross is the moon

[00:06:41] This podcast is Apollo 13 right I'm Tom Hanks. No, I'm Tom Hanks. I heard I said it

[00:06:47] Fuck who's the sexy? Who's the other one? I'm Tom Hanks

[00:06:52] Fuck I'll probably it's yeah, it's Tom Hanks Gary Sinise Ed Harris. I'm the city of Houston

[00:06:58] Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, I'm I was a quantrel X. Who's the big Houston guy the big

[00:07:06] Nation Islam. I don't know. I'm that guy. He's in the movie. He's mad that they won't let black people go to space. I'm James Harden

[00:07:16] Is Barry Pepper in that movie I don't know he should be Barry Pepper is in every movie about World War two

[00:07:23] I went to his

[00:07:25] I went to his Twitter page. We're trying to get Barry Pepper's again. I would love to get the pepper

[00:07:29] I don't even know who he is. Yes. I'm you do. You know who he is like he's in saving private Ryan

[00:07:35] He's in like all his he's got that weird pinched face

[00:07:41] Yeah, shit he beats up a lot of horses in that movie I tried to

[00:07:46] He's the main character in battlefield earth. I've never seen it

[00:07:49] I tried to do a drinking game to that movie where you drink every time John Travolta like laughs like forces laughter

[00:07:58] Like a man animal

[00:08:01] Every time he does that you have to drink and you won't make it through that

[00:08:08] Also, so many horses get injured in the first 15 fuck them, dude fuck animals. That's my stance

[00:08:13] Well, it's important for Scientology. You got to spread the gospel. You got to kill some horses

[00:08:17] You know you can't you don't make lemonade without killing some horses. Yeah

[00:08:23] That's one of the expressions from Apollo 13. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, the Houston guy comes in

[00:08:29] I still think I should be boss. You don't make lemonade unless you kill some horses and then they go into the supply closet

[00:08:37] There's just a closet in a fucking spaceship

[00:08:39] Yeah

[00:08:46] I feel like his and captain Phillips his Boston accent was so bad. He should have just gone retard

[00:08:52] He should have gone for us. Come pretty time

[00:08:54] To be a boss

[00:08:59] Listen to me I'm the captain now

[00:09:01] I

[00:09:08] But no in what we're talking Barry pepper Barry pop yeah, I went to Barry peppers Twitter page and he's doing some

[00:09:16] Like challenge some 22 push-ups for 22 days to stop the troops from killing themselves

[00:09:31] And also he was the troops in so many movies that he feels like he is in real life. That makes sense

[00:09:39] No, that he's got a good point. He's basically he's basically the troops. Yeah, he's been in a fake

[00:09:43] Fake fucking costumes and shit. Yeah, well, he's been in all the good war movies

[00:09:50] Was he in platoon? I know there's two minutes left and I'm like watching the clock like it's like it's an execution

[00:09:56] professional fucking broadcasters right now well

[00:09:59] I'm just hoping you won't be a

[00:10:01] Because I know some of his to be honest with you the only thing I've seen that he's done is run running run

[00:10:07] Okay. Yeah, I don't know what that is

[00:10:09] But no he was in you know what if that sounds like I picked that like the most obscure reference

[00:10:15] But it's it's actually true

[00:10:18] I've seen run running around like yeah, like three or four times. I was like 15. Oh, I thought it was hilarious

[00:10:23] He's in pretty tank for a second Izzy. Yeah, we should ask him. We should ask him, you know, whatever we

[00:10:29] See in the Smurfs we got to do we got to do a Gargamel

[00:10:32] We got to do an hour with him so we're doing a full hour. We're gonna aim for that. Okay. Yeah, I'm down

[00:10:39] If it goes much shorter if he's like mad about the setup. I don't even have a lot going on these days

[00:10:45] Well, we'll talk about that with him

[00:10:49] We got a minute left if you guys want to plug anything I have like half of an apple that I'm thinking about eating

[00:10:54] I'll sell a bit from now on. That's what I want to plug. Stop sending me pictures at your titties

[00:10:59] Which I get a lot of I'm gonna call him now

[00:11:04] All right, then you know what that'll seem professional. Yeah

[00:11:09] They're like professional radio. We're professional. Oh shit now. It's 5 30

[00:11:14] While telling that we were gonna call

[00:11:16] Is it ringing what if he just is it ringing give you the wrong number?

[00:11:32] No, it's not ring

[00:11:34] Oh my god, jeez this Christ

[00:11:43] Oh there it is that was probably the problem

[00:11:46] Don't you Verizon wireless your call cannot be completed as dialed please check the number and dial again

[00:11:53] Announcement for store 0 store location

[00:11:57] No, no, no, it's it's a call can not be completed as dialed. I did something

[00:12:01] I

[00:12:03] Welcome to Verizon wireless. We're unable to complete your call to speak to a customer service representative

[00:12:09] Please hang up and dial star 611 announcement 3 5 0 0

[00:12:15] Location 8 0 5 0 2 no, I don't hear listen to this. Listen. This is so funny. How fucked up is it?

[00:12:23] Listen to what happens when I try and call them

[00:12:36] This is our waiting for good though, this is this is I think the cell phone towers down. Oh, no, there it goes

[00:12:43] Oh sick. Yeah, okay get those headphones on

[00:12:48] It's ringing it rang once

[00:12:55] No, I legitimately think I legitimately think the fucking cell phone towers down

[00:12:59] It's like there's a problem in the game some error code

[00:13:03] He ran out of it. I don't know how to fucking make this so fuck dude. We got

[00:13:10] I don't have a good legit edit this part like for real

[00:13:13] You gotta be fucking kidding me. No, I think the storm knocked out of cell phone towers

[00:13:19] Welcome to Verizon wireless. We're unable to complete your call to speak to a customer service representative

[00:13:25] Please hang up and dial star 611 announcement 3 5 0 0 location 8 0 5 0 2

[00:13:35] Yeah, I guess I should call customer service

[00:13:38] I mean should ask them should we call you try Adam's alright? Yeah, we can try out a song give me your phone cool

[00:13:43] I'm gonna say I don't know why I didn't think of this before

[00:13:49] You talk for a second while I plug the water, right?

[00:13:53] So anyway, we're sorry about that folks

[00:13:57] More than you I know this is probably not this is good. Honestly, we could just edit this. There's no reason to talk right now

[00:14:04] I don't say that we as if I'm Nick you don't have I'll edit it bitch. You say send me the fucking falls bitch

[00:14:11] Yeah, that's what I thought

[00:14:14] Shut the fuck up. How are we looking? This is ringing sick, but you might not pick up the Vegas man

[00:14:21] trustworthy number

[00:14:24] We try my nice hold on

[00:14:26] But my phone's fucked. All right, maybe this will work. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Can you hear me?

[00:14:44] Yes, can you hear me? Yeah, I can I can hear you now

[00:14:48] Okay, okay, I'm assuming that was you who called earlier

[00:14:52] Uh, yeah, did it not I was getting some like I'm like that serious

[00:14:58] There was I guess there's some like like cell phone tower error code every time I called it would tell me to hang up and call customer service

[00:15:05] But did David Cross

[00:15:08] This is customer service. Oh shit

[00:15:12] What does it David Cross the customer service

[00:15:15] This is customer service for David Cross. Yes. Oh, I'm employed by David Cross

[00:15:22] Was it okay? Well, it's we got David Cross's customer service on the phone

[00:15:28] Okay, well, that's just as good. That's fine. I I mean we'll work with that. I have to just let you know upfront

[00:15:37] I'm here. My name is Nick. I spoke with

[00:15:40] David and we we planned on calling around 530. I actually did

[00:15:45] Dial the number at 530, but then there was that error code. So I apologize that we're a couple minutes late

[00:15:53] But I'm here. My friend Adam. Hi. Hi. Hi. David. How's it going? What's not David?

[00:16:00] It's customer service. Oh, hi, custody. No, no, it is. I mean it is me. I'm acting as my own customer service representative

[00:16:06] Oh, I saved some money. You know, I tried to do that Monday, Wednesday, the Friday. That's okay. Wow

[00:16:15] Thursday and Thursday you'll get

[00:16:18] Desi who's the regular customer service? Well, I guess I'm regular because I do like five out of three eight or five times but

[00:16:26] But does he act as the customer service rep when I'm not

[00:16:29] Well, I think you thank you for taking the call. Um, so I I mean I I do have to like apologize

[00:16:38] Yeah, I'm what would that do you have a complaint or is there something you want to register with?

[00:16:43] Uh, why don't it's it's not a complaint about about you, but I guess we do have like a bit of a communication issue

[00:16:50] We unfortunately only have one set of headphones to plug into the four-track. This is mostly

[00:16:56] Uh, you're I've got two with me if that helps

[00:17:01] Uh, well, we would need them here. That's the problem. Uh, okay. Um, I could

[00:17:10] We think here I am

[00:17:13] I'm upstate right now in New York

[00:17:16] So, uh

[00:17:18] There's not the best direct route. I mean, I if I left well, I can't I've got

[00:17:23] I

[00:17:26] Well, all right, we were gonna we were gonna get we were gonna

[00:17:29] We only have like an hour to do our podcast and then there's a frozen yogurt place in the story

[00:17:35] Yeah, in that kind of time. I mean, it did have to be like helicoptered in and then the helicopter didn't even land

[00:17:40] They'd have to literally like cover over where you are and drop them from a height and they might break

[00:17:45] So that this is that's not gonna work that okay. Well, we actually plan to only use the one set of headphones

[00:17:51] Um, but it's oh well then what's uh, well, you know, oh, sorry

[00:17:55] I was just explaining the the plan is where I'm gonna use the headphones and then Adam is here

[00:18:02] If yeah, if you can you hear Adam you have to scream hi David? Uh nice to meet you. Can you hear him?

[00:18:09] Uh, yeah, it's a little muffled because of the yelling

[00:18:13] Yeah, it's a little oh, okay. Yeah, he's on the other side of the room and then uh, well if I can't come closer

[00:18:20] Yeah, Adam can come closer. Yeah. Yeah. Hi. Hi, but then we have a third guy here

[00:18:25] Hello big fan stop. My name's stavros. Stop. Yeah stavros. Uh is also here

[00:18:32] Uh, no, okay

[00:18:33] So am I supposed to wear the headphones or not?

[00:18:36] No, I see I'm wearing one one of the ears and then I'm gonna share the other ear with adam and stavros

[00:18:44] Um, and we're we're really just expo

[00:18:46] I think with as far as us goes the four of us this will sort of work seamlessly

[00:18:51] It'll take a couple of seconds to figure out, you know, the ins and outs of how this will work

[00:18:55] And then it's mostly just right there. There's three of us here, but then you is four and this most

[00:19:03] Yeah, the exposition is is all for the audience. This is um, you know, so they're am I supposed to be I'm not supposed to be there with you

[00:19:10] No, no, no, no, we we wanted to do it over the phone. So this actually it's

[00:19:14] Uh, okay got it. Yeah, then then there seems this seems to be going because to be honest with you

[00:19:19] You're our first phone guest and we wanted to like sort of have like a dry run

[00:19:24] To someone that was small enough to like

[00:19:27] Hey, come on. Come on, dude. That's fucked dude. He can hear you. Yeah, so we just yeah

[00:19:32] We we want to like uh just see make sure it works and I mean it's going well. So

[00:19:37] Yeah, you don't want to shoot your wad. I'm like, uh

[00:19:40] You know, uh, a separate or something like that, right?

[00:19:42] Yeah, well, we don't like it. This is actually not even really much of like a comedy podcast. We have last week we had on um, uh,

[00:19:51] Uh amber frost who's she writes stuff and uh, she's my roommate. She I'd pay rent to her, but she's like a journalist and uh,

[00:19:59] Yeah, so yeah, we did like a whole episode on like on br- on brexit. Uh, so it's like

[00:20:04] It's like the political stuff we do

[00:20:07] Uh, shampoo

[00:20:09] Uh, yeah

[00:20:10] I guess we could talk about champ like the shampoo cry like if there's a shampoo crisis

[00:20:15] Uh anything anything yeah like political stuff, but you are like this. It's an honor to have you on. Um, we're all

[00:20:23] Um, you know, we're all fans me and adam and stavros big fans big big fans. I think i think uh, I think you're doing great

[00:20:29] I think step rogan will respond to that that's a smart thing to say at front. Do you have a

[00:20:37] Um

[00:20:39] Go ahead adam. Do you have his number or email?

[00:20:43] Yeah, it's two one three okay

[00:20:45] 698 yeah 1842. Okay. Thanks man. Thank you. What was that? What do you say? Um, but let's nice

[00:20:53] We should intro you for our pineapple expression. Uh, we should intro you for our like our guests

[00:20:58] Uh on the show or I mean our our listeners who listen to the show who who may not be familiar. Uh, david cross is

[00:21:05] Um, you know, uh, probably like our our biggest our biggest, uh, guest so far. He's sure

[00:21:11] Um, he's been on television. He's been in uh feature films. Um, do you have you do you have a book?

[00:21:19] Radio radio. I've done radio. He's done radio. Um, have you authored any, uh, any feature radio? I've done

[00:21:27] Uh feature podcast

[00:21:29] Um

[00:21:31] You know psa that did psa. Okay, so you're no stranger to the the podcast format

[00:21:37] So, um, the up front, you know, you just intro the guests and uh, tell us some of your like your your biggest hits

[00:21:43] What's yeah, what are you yeah? What are you like your big hits?

[00:21:48] Uh

[00:21:50] We in what

[00:21:52] In what sense? I'm not sure like I did it if they were like

[00:21:56] Like huge if they were like here's the guy and then here's like play the hits, you know, and then they pointed at you

[00:22:05] Like a presumably like an audience of some kind

[00:22:08] Well, I don't

[00:22:10] Uh, you know, I'm not a I don't I'm not a musician. I don't

[00:22:16] Have I don't have hits per se. Um

[00:22:20] like top like I

[00:22:22] as a

[00:22:24] Comedian I don't we don't kind of like our

[00:22:28] Jokes that way. There's no like chart. Uh, I guess that that's what you're

[00:22:33] Interesting. I'm just gonna yeah

[00:22:37] Yeah, he said that he said that he's not a musician and as a comedian

[00:22:40] Um, you're like your top 10 list

[00:22:43] They don't they prefer comedians will prefer not to do top 10 lists

[00:22:49] Well, no, that's not that's not what I said. I I didn't say we don't prefer

[00:22:53] I just say they don't chart

[00:22:55] There's no that you can't

[00:22:58] You can't really keep track of a

[00:23:01] You don't purchase you don't

[00:23:04] Uh, joke isn't like a commodity that's so you don't remember or

[00:23:09] You don't you don't remember your top hits then

[00:23:12] No, he's saying he remembers him. He just they don't you don't rank them

[00:23:16] It's like if you had children you wouldn't be like age

[00:23:19] You know john's the best and steve is the worst even though, you know, it's steve has like, uh, you know mental

[00:23:25] Disability or something you would say they're the same

[00:23:27] Both of them in your heart. I love both of them even though one of them is it's better

[00:23:32] Yeah, I guess that analogy would apply if you were to rewrite your kids

[00:23:36] weekly

[00:23:37] but

[00:23:38] We that doesn't really happen and I guess unless there was an introduction of a new kid every once a while I

[00:23:45] Yeah, it's not the best

[00:23:47] An analogy really but um, but yeah just to go back. There's no I if I would

[00:23:54] You know, I'd probably just sort of give them a funny look and say would be talking about

[00:23:59] Okay, the estimated name might top hits

[00:24:02] Um, let's talk for a second about uh

[00:24:06] Well, we'll talk about that, but

[00:24:09] Uh, many people might be familiar with you from a little thing called mr

[00:24:13] Show and uh, I would be lying if I said that I haven't seen a in an episode or two and I'm certain I'm certain that

[00:24:21] Um, my friends here. I've watched a lot on youtube. Yeah, I've seen a lot on youtube

[00:24:25] Uh, yeah, we're we're fans of the show

[00:24:28] Uh, but for you know listeners that may not be familiar. Why don't you can you tell us a little bit a little bit about that?

[00:24:35] Uh, sure it was a

[00:24:37] sketch show that ran for a couple years with uh bob oden kurt and uh

[00:24:41] a bunch of other

[00:24:43] talented funny folks

[00:24:46] back in the

[00:24:47] mid 90s to late 90s, I guess

[00:24:51] on hbo

[00:24:53] Um, and hbo that stands for home box office. Is that correct?

[00:24:58] I

[00:24:58] I I I'm I haven't really checked in but it used to it. I don't know if that's changed. Um, I know they have uh

[00:25:05] uh

[00:25:07] I don't know if that's wrong. Yeah, it might be like one of those uh like with like a kfc situation where it used to be

[00:25:14] Right, can tucky fried chicken and then you know the government actually made them change it because that's true

[00:25:20] The chickens are so genetically modified that they're legally they're not legally they're not allowed to call them chickens anymore

[00:25:28] Yeah

[00:25:30] I saw

[00:25:32] It could be on one of those sites that I visit when I get drunk website. I I thought it was

[00:25:39] Kinder

[00:25:40] That kinder front there's kentucky fried chicken and then there's kennedy fried chicken and they're right

[00:25:47] But only one of them is kfc

[00:25:49] kfc was the one that used to be um

[00:25:54] Uh kentucky fried chicken and then they they sure right now they brought uh kurtell sanders who was there

[00:26:00] um

[00:26:02] You know their mascot they brought him back and now

[00:26:05] Sort of to come full circle. They have comedians playing kurtell sanders

[00:26:11] Is that something you would be interested in doing?

[00:26:15] Uh, you know, it did I mean it totally depends uh, um

[00:26:20] I I doubt it but um, you know, uh

[00:26:25] I think if things progress the way they've been progressing

[00:26:28] uh, given time I I might

[00:26:31] have no other choice but to

[00:26:34] To accept that offer if that was to be made now when you're saying but I I mean I could also I'd hold out for

[00:26:41] Kennedy fried chicken. I'd be that mascot too. I I don't agree with all of her

[00:26:47] Points, um and I haven't seen every show she found I know she's on the box. Yeah. Yeah, um, but

[00:26:53] Uh, I mean, maybe I hold off. No, I don't I don't think it's I don't think that's named after her

[00:27:01] Uh

[00:27:02] Kennedy what if her name is Kennedy? Yeah, and she's the only one that's still alive. Is she a part of that family? Do you know?

[00:27:10] So

[00:27:13] Kennedy is she wanted to care probably, you know what folks probably

[00:27:17] Political

[00:27:19] The only Kennedy that should be murdered. Am I right? You're the only Kennedy to not be murdered. Yeah, uh, I guess a brain tumor counts as the type of murder

[00:27:32] Uh, I mean if you if yeah, I mean that that

[00:27:35] Uh, you know god is a murderer in a sense sure. Yeah, hold on one second. Adam. We're talking about Kennedy from Fox News

[00:27:43] Adam currently the the earbud situation is I have one and stop I have one now too. Yeah, I have no earbuds

[00:27:48] Adam your idiot. You're saying Dave

[00:27:51] Adam has uh, no earbuds. So we were just, uh, catching him up on that. So, uh, obviously you're not a big fan of Fox News

[00:27:59] Um, how about are you uh, are you like a bernie sanders guy or?

[00:28:05] Uh, yeah, I was um

[00:28:08] Um, uh, gave up on him or?

[00:28:11] Well, I don't think he has any uh

[00:28:13] Uh, viable course to become president. I it's not like I gave up on him. I I uh

[00:28:21] Because I'm thinking about voting for him still

[00:28:24] Okay, well you that's your prerogative. Um, how about this Trump guy?

[00:28:30] You know, uh, I mean come on. Yeah, what do you what do you think about him?

[00:28:36] Um, you know, I mean I I mean I wouldn't

[00:28:39] I so who's your second choice? You're going Hillary then if you can't get do you tell like I got a dog?

[00:28:45] Um

[00:28:47] I mean, honestly part of me is

[00:28:50] Interested in Kennedy, you know, yeah, that would be cool. Yeah. Yeah, you know a sexy lady president

[00:28:59] How about that like a

[00:29:01] kind of a

[00:29:04] female contrarian

[00:29:06] Uh, yeah, that would be cool a sexy lady. You probably do you probably do pretty well with the honeys

[00:29:12] as uh a celebrity

[00:29:16] Well, uh, I'm married so oh, but we yeah like but before you were married

[00:29:23] um, you know, I

[00:29:25] Certainly, uh, does he fuck hung out with a bunch of honeys?

[00:29:29] Who's the hook who's the hottest woman you've ever fucked?

[00:29:32] Come on, stop don't be gross. I want to know man everyone wants to know well. We're having a political

[00:29:39] You know, you kind of started that honestly. I just I made a comment, you know, there's

[00:29:44] I'm doing like you didn't even let him answer. You know, I'm sorry go. I'll go ahead. Mr. Cross. I apologize

[00:29:51] Uh, it's all right. Um

[00:29:53] Uh, you know, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna

[00:29:56] Uh, really get into that. I I have too much respect for, um, the women in the past

[00:30:08] Um, I don't say women in the past. You mean oh, uh, listen, melana nice nice man. That's

[00:30:16] Wow, dude. I beat off the charm all the time

[00:30:20] Charmed. What's the one? Uh, embrace of the vampire. Have you seen that movie?

[00:30:24] Uh, no, she is I

[00:30:29] Didn't hear it definitely said but I heard the word vampire. So I'm definitely

[00:30:33] Uh, I haven't seen that movie. She's in a movie. I think it's it's embrace of a vampire. Oh, yeah

[00:30:38] She's completely nude. Those are awesome. She's also, um, underage in the joyed butafuco movie nice

[00:30:47] Which that's just a tidbit I happen to know about or not. That's ads any appeal. What was he saying?

[00:30:54] Sure. Sure. He's he's not saying anything. Oh, okay. What?

[00:30:58] Um, and I was got it by the way guys. I don't have it. I can't hear it. I did. Um, I just got a dog

[00:31:04] Um, and I don't know if I should change the dog's name

[00:31:09] What is the dog's name currently? Isis

[00:31:13] Um

[00:31:15] I wouldn't um, I mean

[00:31:19] Is it named after the terrorist group or the the old tv show at the lady?

[00:31:27] I just she she's from bedside. She's like

[00:31:31] Used in dog fights. She's a pitbull and my friend rescued her and then he had to get rid of her because his landlord wouldn't let him

[00:31:38] Have it. So I took it to my apartment and I just called her icy pretty much, but

[00:31:43] You know, I don't know. I feel like if I change it then the terrorist sort of win, you know, so I don't really know sure. Yeah

[00:31:51] Yeah, and and it's also going to give the dog a complex too and it teaches the dog

[00:31:57] You know, uh exactly that that the that fear and terror work. So, um

[00:32:04] You know, you can maybe get another uh, you can maybe figure out what continue to call our Isis and then if people get upset

[00:32:11] You can say

[00:32:13] You know when when the dog is out of your shot. You can say oh no

[00:32:18] Uh her you must have misheard me her name is mices

[00:32:22] Mices. Yeah, because I was in the dog park and I said I got a phone call and I said i'm training with Isis right now

[00:32:32] Right. Yeah, you couldn't you could probably see how that might come off

[00:32:37] He did

[00:32:39] Uh

[00:32:41] Nice. Um, thank you for the input on on that. Uh, I apologize if that's sort of unrelated

[00:32:49] Oh, we're not gonna ask him about fucking stop scar my car got stolen recently and I don't know

[00:32:54] Have you ever had that happen could you please respect?

[00:32:57] I'm sorry, but we have hand signals set up so that uh adam and stavros understand when it's appropriate to speak or not and

[00:33:06] He's just not he's not

[00:33:08] Sorry, go ahead ask him about. I'm sorry. Stop. I was ask you a question about his fucking car. So we'll do that

[00:33:14] Uh, my car got my car got stolen recently. I mean I didn't want to but adam kind of put me on the spot

[00:33:19] Um, so yeah, my car got stolen. Did that ever happen to you?

[00:33:23] Uh, yes

[00:33:25] That sucks, right?

[00:33:27] Um

[00:33:28] Yeah, it wasn't the uh, wasn't the

[00:33:31] greatest thing to have happened to me. No, what kind of car was it?

[00:33:35] A Honda Civic. Holy shit, dude. That's I had a mine was a Honda Civic too. Yeah, stop does Honda Civic boys

[00:33:44] Uh, what color it was a silver?

[00:33:47] Uh 98 maybe it was all you know, mine was a 98. Did you when when the years get stolen?

[00:33:53] I don't know. Um

[00:33:56] This would have been

[00:33:58] Probably 95 no, but what year was the car?

[00:34:02] Oh, shit. I don't know a 93. Maybe. Oh fuck. All right. Well, okay. Well, you're hoping it was the same year

[00:34:11] Whatever man. Yeah, that would have been cool if you guys had the same like imagine if you guys had the same

[00:34:17] Exact type of car and they both happen to get stolen

[00:34:21] Yeah, then we I mean we could get those meetings together. I guess what what kind of car do you drive now?

[00:34:28] Uh, Toyota Highlander

[00:34:30] Toyota Highlander. That's a great vehicle. That's good a lot of room. Thank you. Um, well, you know what? Thank you so much for

[00:34:37] Coming on

[00:34:39] You're an inspiration to us and um, you know, did you have any questions for us? Well, yeah, if you have any questions for us or if there's anything you want to plug or anything

[00:34:50] Um, you know, I have

[00:34:53] Zero questions for you. Um

[00:34:56] No, and I let me give it a second

[00:34:58] And uh, city is zero questions for us

[00:35:02] No, I don't have any I don't I can't uh, I don't anticipate ever having

[00:35:08] Okay, any questions for you? Uh, that's all right. It could be like, I'm gonna it could be janitor specific. No, it's okay. Um, but yeah, man

[00:35:16] Thanks. Thanks for coming on. Um, we look forward to hearing and seeing um all about uh stuff coming up and uh, you know

[00:35:24] Sorry about the the tech issues or whatever, but we're trying our best and you know, I mean sometimes in life you just got a you

[00:35:33] You just make it work. So you know, I thank thanks for uh hanging out with us and well, we'll see you on the flip side

[00:35:41] I'm happy to be part of the experiment and uh, I I truly believe you when you say you are

[00:35:47] Trying your best. I I believe this is what do you say? I literally the best that you can do

[00:35:52] All right. Thanks, man. Uh, I actually don't I don't know how I can't hang up the phone. So

[00:35:57] Um, no you hang up. Yeah, we're doing like a no you hang up. No, you're gonna say he probably won't even he probably wants to keep talking

[00:36:05] Oh, he hung up. All right. Well

[00:36:07] Did you hang up?

[00:36:09] Nope. Oh shit. Uh, uh, it's Adam's phone. So if can you don't

[00:36:15] Here, Adam, can you can you help and and Nicole? Thank you. Yeah, so I just David

[00:36:19] I they said thank you for being on the podcast. I just want to say thank you for me

[00:36:23] Just they didn't say that I was saying thank you. So

[00:36:27] I I just I like how um

[00:36:31] They're not

[00:36:33] Emotionally capable or physically capable or maybe even legally capable of hanging up a phone. That's not

[00:36:40] theirs

[00:36:42] I don't know he's talking. It's I don't he had to do the uh, the pin the pin number before I could get to the button

[00:36:47] But we can hang up now

[00:36:49] But uh, yes, so uh whenever you're ready. Well, we're gonna hang up the phone

[00:36:55] Okay. Oh, yeah, you have my number now. So if you want to text me or

[00:36:59] And I'll just I'll just shoot you a text on Adam's number. All right. See you later. Thanks for coming in man

[00:37:06] Okay, we did it. Oh, yeah, man

[00:37:09] Yo, that was fucking tight. I think I went good. Yeah, dude. That went great. Yo sick. I love you guys, man

[00:37:16] We fuck this is honestly. I didn't think this was gonna go anywhere

[00:37:19] But we did it um we talked to him. I think he seemed a little mad at the end. He was doing a bit

[00:37:24] I think it was he he's people like that are always on you know, he's all he was he's always on

[00:37:30] Oh, okay

[00:37:32] Um, that went great. Yeah, I think we had a great time with that

[00:37:35] Um, and like we're it's like we're we're building relationships, you know, it's kind of cool

[00:37:40] In the industry, man. Yeah, uh, so I guess we're gonna take a break and then

[00:37:45] Uh, come back with the second half. Well, I was like a recap. I'm talking about the coop

[00:37:49] We yeah, we got to talk about the coop and then we

[00:37:52] Guys not to fucking get your hopes up, but we might give a little miss or David Cross a call back

[00:38:00] So what else? Yeah, that'd be awesome. Uh, all right later

[00:38:07] The grandson of quai chan king walks out of the past

[00:38:11] But I want to fight. Yeah, so did your great grandfather when he was your age

[00:38:21] He teaches his son wisdom at a Shaolin temple

[00:38:25] An evil force destroyed that temple father and son each believed the other had perished

[00:38:30] 15 years later. They were reunited now cane faced new challenges

[00:38:43] And his son grew up

[00:38:45] Look, I'm not my father. I don't do kung fu. I'm a cop. That's who I am. That's what I do

[00:39:00] I am king. I will help you

[00:39:04] And we're back ladies and germs. Uh oh

[00:39:15] Um, that was great. It was fantastic. That was like uh, that was like mark maryn level good

[00:39:20] We got in there

[00:39:21] With the headphones with only you being able to hear and then stop and I having to switch off who could hear I didn't think it would work

[00:39:28] But it was pretty seamless honestly. Yeah, we had a positive attitude. I think that's really what

[00:39:32] David what David, you know

[00:39:35] liked about

[00:39:36] Yeah, no, I think I think you know he understood that we're like young guys trying to make it young alphas on the up and coming

[00:39:44] Alforpreneurs

[00:39:47] Nice boozerians. Can we guys hold on shut the fuck up for a second? Do you know where alforpreneur comes from from dambles

[00:39:54] No

[00:39:56] Uh, I mean, maybe it does but didn't reference I'm talking about this week

[00:39:59] Uh, it's not dandblazarian. It's the fucking guy that shot up those cops and baton rouge

[00:40:05] He invented that dude. Have you not been paying attention to cosmo?

[00:40:10] Convos with cosmo. He has a he had his own podcast. What he was all over social media

[00:40:16] Dude, the guy who killed those cops the guy who shot all those cops and baton rouge was like a fucking he was like a black twitter

[00:40:22] Uh, I guess they're called hotep guys, which is like a umbrella term from what I can you know tell from context

[00:40:27] Is like an umbrella term for?

[00:40:31] Like black people that were like oh the greeks you had a greek gods. Oh

[00:40:36] Slow down the greek gods. I think you mean the african gods because all the greeks were actually black. Oh

[00:40:44] That's true. Yeah, as a Greek man. I can tell you that's excuse me bay told me

[00:40:49] Ludwig von bay told me

[00:40:51] I think you mean black big

[00:40:53] Because he was actually a black man. You see that's the thing man. These these devils

[00:40:58] They tell you in they schools that george washington was a white man surprise. He was black and he made peanut butter

[00:41:07] Somebody used to do I think it was who said I think it was wessel schmidt used to do that as a bit

[00:41:12] I know. Yeah, some common one of those one of those like edgy like fucking open my guys

[00:41:18] I think it was him used to do a bit. It's like yeah, apparently I found out some fucked up shit about the one of the founding fathers

[00:41:25] You know they all did racist stuff, but apparently george washington used to like go around in blackface and fuck around with peanut

[00:41:35] That's a good bit. Yeah, it's hilarious

[00:41:37] Uh, which actually I was on an interesting website the other day black black invention myths

[00:41:43] We have to but that's the only uh stipulation for using the Anthony kumia studios

[00:41:49] We have to go on that. We have to be once a week. Uh, by the way folks

[00:41:53] The Anthony kumia studios only has one set of headphones in the whole studio studio

[00:41:57] We're actually using the studio, but we're not allowed to use their equipment

[00:42:00] That's the role because we're too woke. We're in the bathroom at the nv. Oh, yeah, we're in the jv

[00:42:06] No, um

[00:42:07] George washing carver didn't invent peanut butter. That's not true

[00:42:10] Really? Yeah, no, he he did do experiments with peanut butter, but like

[00:42:16] You know he was just a guy and they do that all the time. They're like, oh fuck

[00:42:20] We need like a black history guy like how about him right? Why him always he's I don't know

[00:42:24] He was a big ass scientist. I love him. Wasn't he like castrated or some shit?

[00:42:29] Uh, they cut his balls off. That's what I heard. No, that was the guy they got they took away his nuts

[00:42:34] I just did with the truth. That's

[00:42:36] I just I cast I truth castrated George Washington carver. That was a Benedict's

[00:42:43] Cumberbatch from uh the code when he broke the code his voice is too deep. No, I really I think I think

[00:42:49] I castrated that guy. I think I don't know dude. I was watching something on youtube

[00:42:54] Something about I think a hot tub guy was behind it

[00:42:57] So I just ate a pop-tart and it ain't agreeing with me all we all shared a pop-tart and during the break

[00:43:02] We did you know what people were uh

[00:43:06] Very interested in the break music from last time

[00:43:10] Or the the break

[00:43:12] Did you listen to it? I listened to it. Oh, it's uh because people have been asking me if you're interested

[00:43:17] It's explosive impact

[00:43:19] featuring the theme song that the tv show nightman

[00:43:24] Um an explosive impact is a rant that some autistic kid uploaded to youtube like

[00:43:30] 10 years ago

[00:43:32] And people just kept downloading and re-uploading it nice man nightman. It was a tv show

[00:43:38] So you know how like superhero movies

[00:43:40] Wasn't your name on facebook nightman? It was uh put that back in the thing

[00:43:44] Don't it would the fuck to do bit don't lose that shit. I'm doing it. You're gonna fucking leave it on that chair and lose it

[00:43:49] I'm doing it, but not because you told me to all right

[00:43:52] No a nightmare was a uh so you know how we have like this all this popularity with uh superhero shit now

[00:43:58] They tried to do that in the 90s and it failed and they did it with shit like uh

[00:44:04] And when I say all the superhero shit

[00:44:05] I mean like you know dead pool like nobody has a fuck dead pool is

[00:44:09] Right under the gal guardians of galaxy all these like right

[00:44:12] You know deep cut fucking you know comic book shit and make it mainstream and they did that in the 90s with the tick

[00:44:19] I remember the tick tick the fox show that was good. That was actually good. They did it spawned tick was yet

[00:44:24] Well spawn was super popular. Yeah, it's almost new spawn was the only comic book i've ever read

[00:44:30] Uh, stav is like literally shitting himself

[00:44:33] He thinks it's funny, but he's gonna shit himself. Oh my he's wearing he's wearing cargo shorts

[00:44:37] They ain't got no fucking cargoes

[00:44:40] You keep the turds in them pockets

[00:44:42] Got all them oxer pockets for the turds

[00:44:44] Uh, but no they did that in the 90s with the tick and uh the shadow and the phantom and uh the freakazoid

[00:44:53] Yeah, free wealth. No again freakazoid. You know, you know what you're talking about so

[00:44:59] Autistic mid getting mad. Yeah, well, I'm not even a fucking comic book guy. It's just like, you know read the fucking wikipedia page man

[00:45:07] No reading is every single wikipedia page

[00:45:10] Um reading is gay. That's my stance and you know that yeah, I feel the same way

[00:45:16] Um, but that's why it's a podcast. Dude. You get to listen. You don't have to read it

[00:45:21] That's actually brilliant. We should do us a appeal. Yeah, we should we should transcribe

[00:45:27] And sell it as a fucking book. Yeah, what do you say about nightman though? Oh, yeah, so nightman is about so it was a tv show

[00:45:33] And nightman was a tv show about a guy who

[00:45:37] Uh, he he's a jazz musician

[00:45:39] Um who got struck by lightning. Oh, hell no

[00:45:43] And now he can hear evil

[00:45:46] And then he also just becomes batman

[00:45:48] So he has like all this fucking like tech

[00:45:50] He can fly all the sudden and he has all his equipment

[00:45:53] But like that wasn't part of getting struck by lightning. I mean, I'm sure they explain it but nobody gives a shit

[00:45:58] and uh

[00:45:59] And the intro music is great and when I loved about the show is like I guess you i'm pretty sure it was on upn

[00:46:05] Upn, there was like a period where dodge was like trying to promote or like all all like all these like mopar cars

[00:46:13] Were promoted through television series where they had the new night riders

[00:46:18] And that was like there was the new dodge dorango was on that and then they had nightman

[00:46:24] What's that the new night writer? No, it was in the mid 90s

[00:46:27] It was like night riders there was a night rider reboot in the 90s with all like and I think that it might have all been

[00:46:33] all fucking like chrysler vehicles

[00:46:36] but

[00:46:38] Yeah, so it was

[00:46:40] Yeah, that was then there was a show called viper

[00:46:43] Which we have talked about before

[00:46:45] Viper because that was like the the break music on a couple episodes ago

[00:46:49] And then on nightman nightman's car was the plymeth prowler you remember that that was a beautiful

[00:46:55] Open wheel open wheel layout fucking piece of shit. Yeah, like to your drop car. That old guys. Yeah

[00:47:01] Well, were they all purple they were all purple and then in the last model year. Yeah, the last model year

[00:47:07] They had like yellow

[00:47:09] But for the first like two or three years the orange

[00:47:12] Yeah, it was all are you setting up like a funny bit or you just

[00:47:17] No, I was talking about something else, but you I was explaining one thing

[00:47:22] And then you interrupt me and I have to expound upon it then you interrupt me again

[00:47:26] And then I get this backlog of shit. I need to

[00:47:28] Mention

[00:47:31] I'm not setting up a bit. We already had david crossing the first half

[00:47:34] You know what if you don't want to hear me talk about fucking cars then turn off the fucking podcast

[00:47:38] What's your favorite car my favorite car of all time? Yeah

[00:47:43] um

[00:47:45] 1987 burek jnx

[00:47:48] I don't know. They're just cool. They're cool. What do they look like? They're cool and like that like

[00:47:53] um

[00:47:54] You know like 80s like a like a muscle revival sort of way

[00:47:59] It's like a bunch of big piece of shit old sedans that they had like performance versions of that one school the 83

[00:48:05] Uh, herst cutlass is pretty cool. Herst. Yeah, herst. They were like a yeah

[00:48:11] Like a

[00:48:13] Yeah

[00:48:16] It's different

[00:48:18] You are a state no, I'm not a hearse speaking first. We should watch newsy sometime. Not part of the podcast

[00:48:24] Just new zeeze. Newsy's as guys just get together watch new zeeze only if you see a fucking bro. We played

[00:48:30] Uh, yeah, well, I want to watch the christian bail version now. I want to watch the movie christian

[00:48:35] I want to watch the christian bail version before he had muscles so I can obsessively monitor his progress

[00:48:40] Between that he straight up. He made the mechanist before he did Batman. Is that how you pronounce it?

[00:48:47] bitch

[00:48:48] The the mechanist

[00:48:50] The mechanist

[00:48:52] I said it right dude. I just said it english. Yeah, do the mechanist. Yeah before he did

[00:48:58] Batman begins

[00:48:59] And in that movie

[00:49:02] No, it's true. He did American psycho before Batman begins. He did. Oh, you're right. He did the mac and american psycho then he did machinist

[00:49:09] Machinist machine is he did the mac there's no

[00:49:12] Okay reason you should be pronouncing it. How do you pronounce the pianist? Is it pi-nest?

[00:49:17] Do you say a dry and brody in the pi-nest?

[00:49:21] Okay, it's first of all it's the penis second of all

[00:49:25] uh adrien brody and the machinist

[00:49:30] What's so difficult about words

[00:49:32] You got a machinist you got pyres of the Caribbean say say it's the machinist again

[00:49:37] It's the machinist. That would be like a great slogan for like a craft mac and cheese

[00:49:42] It's the machinist. It's the machinist baby with that dinosaur

[00:49:46] that

[00:49:47] What dinosaur? Oh the mac and cheese dinosaur the dinosaur that is

[00:49:53] As far as i'm concerned gender fluid

[00:49:55] The uh the craft mac and cheese dinosaur they never actually tell you what gender the dinosaur is and they do a very good

[00:50:01] I think craft like deliberately

[00:50:03] A deliberately obscured the gender of the dinosaur

[00:50:07] um

[00:50:09] So that everyone would want to fucking well, you know, I mean I was a very like forward-thinking company in the 1990s for them to do that

[00:50:16] Craft craft. Yeah

[00:50:18] Um

[00:50:19] But no, what were we talking about? I don't fucking

[00:50:22] Adam you're saying oh so he was in the machinist and can I have the bottom half of that pop tart?

[00:50:27] It's gone. So it is

[00:50:29] He farted it first of all motherfuckers after I had the least amount of pop tart here

[00:50:34] All right, well just get that straight for the listeners

[00:50:36] I love that the rapper that pop tarts come in this is like uh, it's like still yeah, well, it's like yeah

[00:50:42] It's like this like uh very thin tin foil, but it's plastic

[00:50:46] It's like the shit that the astronaut stuff like it looks like it belongs like ass shit

[00:50:50] Like it's yeah, I like how everything nasa ever made just wound up a sharper image at some point

[00:50:55] Yeah, you have a I heard they didn't even eat ice cream. That's really like yeah

[00:51:00] Why are they so smart dude if they just nasa? Yeah, yeah, they just had fancy mattresses and like

[00:51:07] You know

[00:51:09] Shut up nasa

[00:51:11] And yo and nasa

[00:51:13] Fucking listen to my phone calls without my permission dude

[00:51:17] Fuck you

[00:51:18] All right, yo. Oh, yeah, so we got this place called nasa nasa. They like listen at phone calls

[00:51:23] Did this brother named n word snowman the meta

[00:51:29] My man n word snowman who telling people to nasa

[00:51:40] 60

[00:51:43] Ralph should have been their own tv show. Yeah, it is some good shit. Yeah

[00:51:46] Yeah, so anyway christian bell was in the machinist and he lost all this weight for this movie, right?

[00:51:52] He gets super skinny in it and he like locked himself in a hotel

[00:51:55] It's just smoking cigarettes and chewing gum to get down to that weight and drinking water

[00:51:59] He actually ate a can of tuna and an apple a day

[00:52:03] Bitch, that's it. That's all you ate

[00:52:05] You have to eat something you got to eat something. Yeah. No, all he was eating was a can of tuna and an apple every day

[00:52:10] Holy shit, he got down to like 110 pounds or something. Yeah, yeah

[00:52:13] Yeah, you know 110 and then like six months later. He showed up for production on batman begins

[00:52:20] Like jack 225 jack like he had to have done so many steroids

[00:52:26] Well, it's not that he did steroids. I mean

[00:52:28] Steroids can only do so much for you. It's that like he had already been jacked prior to that movie coming out

[00:52:35] Prior to the the machinist

[00:52:37] So he lost all that weight and then like went to put the weight back on and like you still have like

[00:52:44] You know, I mean your body's just readjusting to where it was so it's like he had some sort of tragedy happen

[00:52:49] You know, they got lost to see

[00:52:51] And then his body like rehabbed itself

[00:52:54] But like a regular person. I don't think could gain that much weight in like seven months

[00:52:58] I think you could yeah, you should try it. Dude. You should you get jacked. He just got yeah, Adam. Just tell him about the deal you got dude

[00:53:05] What do I actually sponsored by optimum nutrition now? So I got a

[00:53:10] optimum nutrition weight gainer on amazon prime day

[00:53:14] It's called serious mass and folks the serious part means fucking serious. Yeah, it's 1300 calories per serving

[00:53:23] Yeah scoop you per scoop. That's a no. It's two scoops in a service. No, jeez. That's a fucking chipotle burrito and a half

[00:53:30] Yeah

[00:53:31] shut the fuck up. You're a good

[00:53:33] Siri just

[00:53:36] Yelled at me. What did you get? Amber alert? No, she said that's they thought I said this year is part means fucking serious

[00:53:43] It's 1300 calories reserved the scoop scoop

[00:53:47] And she said reserve that scoop

[00:53:49] Uh, the scoop scoop sounds like a term

[00:53:53] Oh a hood term

[00:53:56] An herb in the scoop

[00:53:58] Reserve that scoop scoop scoop

[00:54:00] Uh

[00:54:03] Weight gainer yeah weight gainer

[00:54:06] Jesus I look at my phone for two seconds and you guys just stop speaking well. No, we were talking

[00:54:10] We got I said reserve the scoop scoop scoop. Yeah, we're just goop. Oh, oh no

[00:54:15] We got to talk about this shooting guy man the fucking Baton Rouge. Oh, that's what we're talking about. Oh, yeah

[00:54:21] That's how we got here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's how we got the nightmare. No, so he is a hot cast

[00:54:25] So listen to one episode of like 30 seconds of better than our part. It's much better than

[00:54:31] It's so much better than our podcast

[00:54:33] He's got a guy at the intro that's like are you ready to stop being a bitch?

[00:54:38] To stop letting people get the best of you

[00:54:41] Are you ready to become an alpha pranur?

[00:54:44] Well, get ready for convos with cosmos. Oh, man. He's like, you know, then like

[00:54:50] Uh who cosmo?

[00:54:52] I mean, I assume so I assume if you shoot. Yeah, if you shoot the police, they're gonna be like, you know

[00:54:59] Even if you surrender they're not gonna let you surrender

[00:55:02] And you never surrender

[00:55:05] Yeah, but yeah, dude. He's got a podcast. He's got youtube videos

[00:55:10] This guy was great. You know, it's funny

[00:55:12] Is you see that like the social justice tweets that he was retweeting over the last couple of weeks

[00:55:17] And they're the same tweets that like your friends like your friends are retweeting

[00:55:22] And his like opinions and shit are identical to you know people that are loud on social media, but hey

[00:55:28] He was the guy with courage. He finally did something bad. You know what I mean?

[00:55:31] Everybody can talk but it's one thing to be an look an alpha has a gun

[00:55:35] Okay, but an alpha pranur murders the police

[00:55:40] You got to take the initiative you got to think okay. I got a gun. What can I do with this gun defend myself beta

[00:55:45] How about I invent a new way to use the gun? Do you have like a company other than like promoting himself?

[00:55:52] Like what was he an entrepreneur of just fucking dude? He's out there. He's fucking like selen's uh, you know

[00:56:00] Waste trainers. I told you about that guy I knew from

[00:56:04] uh

[00:56:05] From tony told me about this guy from high school he caught up with

[00:56:09] Who's like yo? I got a lifestyle brand

[00:56:11] Yeah, it's called like mik davids or something. Yes, dude

[00:56:15] And basically he was like two t-shirts like street wear kind of t-shirts that he's still he's a good story

[00:56:21] He sells online for like 120 bucks, you know for this shitty t-shirt

[00:56:27] um

[00:56:28] And anyway

[00:56:29] He had an instagram account up and basically two t-shirts

[00:56:33] And maybe stickers that he put on like right pulls and he's like hashtag pull hashtag lifestyle brand hashtag, you know

[00:56:39] Right. So anyway mcdonald's finds out about I wasn't mc davids. I was something with mcd something

[00:56:46] And they find out about it. They're like well

[00:56:49] It's our policy typically to buy all registered trademarks and brands

[00:56:53] That's our mcd. So they like made him like a $40,000 off what and

[00:57:01] He

[00:57:02] Look them square the eye. That's it. I'm gonna have to pass. Are you fucking joking?

[00:57:07] Holy shit

[00:57:09] You know that guys had a barbie like yeah, they came to me

[00:57:12] They tried to buy it, but not my baby. Yeah, I'm gonna make it big with mcd's. Yo, this is a lifestyle brand, bro

[00:57:18] You know we got t-shirts stickers. We got tank tops coming soon

[00:57:22] You remember you remember chris barilik

[00:57:24] Yeah, chris barilik was this nerd comedian in dc

[00:57:28] Oh, it was he lives in san for like before everyone was a fucking nerd comedian. Oh, yeah, he was the guy

[00:57:32] Oh fuck we're all drinking uh sparkly. We're drinking bubbly water. I'm drawing up in my mouth, but uh

[00:57:41] Yeah, uh chris barilik chris barilik. He was like the nerd comedian in dc before that was a thing

[00:57:47] Truly like that is who that guy is because dc 10 years ago

[00:57:50] Half the comedians were like black eyes were kangal hats

[00:57:54] And whoo-ooh

[00:57:55] Chappelle I knew I'm a member chappelle. He's a stan

[00:57:58] Dave, Dave used to stand right over there and I was staying over here and uh, those were the days, man

[00:58:05] That's how I went down. Yeah

[00:58:07] I was there right here. I was there right here me and him were boys, but you know, I need I never looked him in the eye

[00:58:13] He was 14 sometimes Tony woods called me a faggot, but that was it

[00:58:18] Uh, but uh, yeah, so yeah chris

[00:58:20] He would like he would grab the microfib home with both hands and all of his jokes would be and then

[00:58:26] To the all the way to the fucking castle where the princess is like the punchline is always some

[00:58:32] You know rant or whatever I was friends with him, but he was you know like fully autistic

[00:58:37] uh

[00:58:38] You know like a nerd and there was a

[00:58:41] Whole reason that no no there's a point to it

[00:58:44] Ties into this lifestyle brand thing is there was a show called beauty and the geek that came out

[00:58:51] And chris at the time was running a thing called the geeks of comedy. It was like a tour

[00:58:55] And he did like I do geek comedy

[00:58:58] I'm a geek and I make geek jokes for geeks and they like performed it like

[00:59:03] Comic-con and shit and like that was the image he put forward and

[00:59:10] Beauty and the geek it was like this reality show and on the show they make the geeks do stand up

[00:59:16] As like part of the show whoa and uh, you know and then you they pair you with like a really fucking hot woman

[00:59:23] Yeah to fuck and the geeks don't look bad at all. I mean that's like the theme of the show

[00:59:28] It wasn't like mean-spirited and they approached chris and they were like you'd be perfect for the show

[00:59:34] And he's like, ah, I just don't want to be known for that and it's like that you already are you fucking idiot

[00:59:40] And he like he turned it down. That's crazy

[00:59:42] He turned it down and then they asked him again

[00:59:44] They like came back and asked him again. He turned it down again

[00:59:47] Do you ever talk about the part about that dude you know with a t-shirt company

[00:59:51] with a hot chick with

[00:59:55] with a

[00:59:56] You're oh

[00:59:59] No, yeah, it was some guy I went to high school with he had like he's like fucking

[01:00:03] I don't know. He just didn't really do much in college and got some bullshit degree

[01:00:07] And then I think he like yeah, I guess eventually graduated with like a graphic design degree

[01:00:12] And so he started like a t-shirt company and his t-shirts are online. They're all fucking like

[01:00:17] They're I mean, they're just you know, it's the same bullshit. It was like maryland men row or something

[01:00:22] Yeah, yeah, that was it one of them was like it was like a fucking uh

[01:00:26] But she had face tattoos. No, it was like a fucking it wasn't maryland row. Who was it?

[01:00:31] It was Audrey Hepburn. Hell yeah

[01:00:33] It was Audrey Hepburn smoking a cigarette and then the fucking the title of the shirt

[01:00:37] And it's just a picture of her and then spring pregnant. Yeah, and it just it's called like a chick with sick

[01:00:42] Yeah, that's great. Yeah, um, I wish I knew how to screen print actually. That's like good for like march on the road. We could learn

[01:00:54] No, you can't I tried what do you mean? I mean I can't I tried I don't I you know

[01:00:58] I got a fucking my roommate had a screen printer and I tried to figure out how to do that shit. It's difficult. Hmm

[01:01:04] Why are we not why do we keep losing?

[01:01:06] The issue here, which is Cosmo is Cosmo Casmo. I gave you so much gold in your life fucking. Oh, what about this other thing?

[01:01:14] What about the turkey coop? Yeah, turkey coop. You know what I always thought was crazy to check this out. I'm listening

[01:01:20] They got a country called turkey. Uh-huh. They got another one called hungry

[01:01:25] Put those together

[01:01:27] It seems like we solve all the world's problem. Yeah, we'll have full yeah stomach in one country a half eaten turkey other country

[01:01:35] Yeah

[01:01:38] Who gets that which one of us is going to be using that in our act

[01:01:42] We'll do rock paper scissors for it after this rock the Piper scissors

[01:01:46] You know, it's like uh

[01:01:48] The rock would beat paper

[01:01:52] We'll cover it you cover it. That's not beating it you cover it. That's like please don't stop rock

[01:02:00] Just don't do stop destroying all the scissors

[01:02:02] Yeah

[01:02:03] Stop worrying on the beach. That feels like a bit like it's like kind of like a peat homesie sort of

[01:02:08] I think it's I think it's out there. Does somebody do that? I think that

[01:02:12] Do that this way I fucking open my comedy sucks all stand up. So standups pretty much dead stand up sucks

[01:02:18] Twitter Twitter pretty much replaced doing open mics for me. Oh, Twitter five years ago

[01:02:24] Yeah, I could see that because all this dumb does dumb fucking like jokes that you would want to do at an open mic

[01:02:29] When you have two minutes, right and you want to say something fucking retarded right right right?

[01:02:33] Yeah, that's what Twitter is for. Yeah, I don't know you can okay

[01:02:36] So let's let's do a thing where we go around the room right now and we all say I'm a new funny joke idea that we have

[01:02:46] You want to start you start okay? I got an idea. All right

[01:02:51] There's okay, so there's two different types of black people there are black

[01:02:55] All right

[01:02:57] What's the second one

[01:03:01] Seriously, this is my man said my man. What okay if you if you're doing a voice

[01:03:07] Go ahead and drop me and bomb

[01:03:09] Yeah, somebody found out the way that's a character

[01:03:11] This is a good search. Yeah, don't Twitter and then you type in you search for n asterisk asterisk asterisk a

[01:03:19] And it's all fucking white people being like where my niggas am

[01:03:23] They

[01:03:27] Wrong

[01:03:29] But then they do it anyways, that's pretty good. That's some extremely good shit. That is that's good stuff. I love saying the

[01:03:36] Um, yeah, I like to have the podcast come to just just Peter out just Peter out

[01:03:41] I gotta start off with David Cross

[01:03:44] We used all our energy

[01:03:46] Preparing for that god that was an emotional roller. Also. Oh, we should let you guys know the coffee machine at the Anthony

[01:03:52] Kumiya studios is broken. Yeah, so if CPXI wants to get on there. Don't stay the fucking companies. No, sorry

[01:04:02] Is it if the company whose studios I use without them

[01:04:08] What they're not gonna listen to it. You're right, but just don't they gotta just blowing popcorn out of the

[01:04:13] Podcast my company my company for man children where they have rock band in the break room

[01:04:18] Please don't shoot on my employer mr. Mullen so they used to be my employer

[01:04:25] So I'm allowed to shit on the former me too. Yo, this company fucking fired me get this for being too smart

[01:04:33] If you ever heard the only thing you did wrong, they didn't want you to be the boss

[01:04:38] They were

[01:04:41] They say he's incompetent, but you know the truth

[01:04:43] You see got too much knowledge actually I heard Bill Cosby was gonna buy NBC

[01:04:49] I don't know if that's the reason I'm taking it down. He was gonna buy NBC. He was rich enough

[01:04:53] Oh, I see what happens when he gets you back

[01:04:57] I can't stop doing that character

[01:05:01] The conspiracy theories black man be such a shitty comic if you're a black guy. Yeah, you go

[01:05:07] You can be like such and it's like high energy

[01:05:11] Comful circle now where like you can be a shitty comic as a white guy

[01:05:15] Yeah, but not with the level of success

[01:05:17] I think like you can look straight up just be you can be a road dog as a white guy be shitty. Yeah. Yeah, that's true

[01:05:23] You can work the like you can middle for 20 years who wants to do that

[01:05:27] But you could be a you could straight up here's the thing there are so many guys just doing Richard Pryor's act

[01:05:33] It's like 70 years

[01:05:35] Like it's like ridiculous like oh this white guy is like honey. Yeah, I think we need to go home and do our taxes

[01:05:44] Honey

[01:05:46] You know just be homophobic. Yeah, just be straight up homophobic. We talked about that on the last one. Oh, that's right

[01:05:53] Yeah, but now man imagine I wish I like that's I'm envious. That's a type of privilege in my mind

[01:06:00] Oh, yeah, just comedian hack privilege

[01:06:03] You remember there was like six months in comedy where everyone had a bane joke

[01:06:10] Rene for for for for car. We're talking about what's his name

[01:06:16] Who Alex Alex star. Oh geez. He always had a bane part of his yes. I'm out on this boys

[01:06:23] You're always gonna beat you up

[01:06:26] You gotta stop being worried about people beating you up stop. I'm strong. You gotta go to the gym

[01:06:30] You gotta get strong. You got five hundred Oh, by the way, they're I got to see an advanced copy of the fucking million dollar

[01:06:39] Extreme show for adults when wait just the pilot of the whole season nice. Yo, I'm gonna spoil it

[01:06:44] How do you have it spoil it? No, I'm not gonna spoil it. I will say it's fucking amazing. It's yeah

[01:06:49] They're fucking hilarious a guy who like knows them had it and he just showed it to me nice

[01:06:55] What do you mean well he gave it to me a speed thing, but I can't like put it on the internet or anything. I should I don't even know if I should have said that

[01:07:01] You probably shouldn't have whatever. Yeah, actually live on the podcast numbers you guys so you keep doing this

[01:07:07] There's only like 13 people

[01:07:12] Thing

[01:07:15] Like have a podcast and it's clearly because they need someone to hang out with them. Yeah, dude. Yeah, that's

[01:07:21] Straight up catching up

[01:07:23] He's like yeah sooner knows like cuddle boy weekend

[01:07:27] There's so many bad podcasts

[01:07:30] And you know like ours some of them there's like some of them that are probably pretty fucking good

[01:07:34] Like convos with cosmo right that you won't hear about until the host murders police

[01:07:40] So let me tell you something if you're out there and you're doing bad numbers, you know

[01:07:43] We're we're number 25 on the comedy charts on on iTunes. So we're doing great. We don't need to get rising

[01:07:48] But you know, let's say you've never even broken the top 150. Oh, which you know what just overtook Rogan by the way

[01:07:56] Uh too many white men the phoebe robinson really

[01:08:01] Is it too dope girls spin off? No, it's too many white men

[01:08:05] Which is so funny because the one right under that is the Joe Rogan

[01:08:11] Too many white men talking for six plus hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah

[01:08:14] Uh wait, so the show is just you're not allowed to have white men on it. Yeah, if you read the description

[01:08:19] It's like we're gonna get a lot of like sister girls

[01:08:27] Wscs and you know

[01:08:31] I have never listened to dope girls, but I know that it's two dope queens

[01:08:37] Two dope queens, but I know that it's remarkably popular on the iTunes. Oh, yeah, well

[01:08:42] Women listening that's the problem

[01:08:46] We got a new sport the podcast men do sports

[01:08:50] Yeah, we should do sports the woman just stays in the kitchen and the man plays the video game. That's the rule bitch

[01:08:58] Cooking clean. That's fucking

[01:09:02] Thanks, dude. Yeah, see man fellas. We've been playing a video game. Don't

[01:09:08] Women they they they say cooking but we

[01:09:10] What's that how long we do it inside you can just ask me, you know, I'm trying to be a pro

[01:09:17] Just about probably going another five minutes or so if people want to continue listening

[01:09:22] I'm just still so pumped. We had like such a good time with David and

[01:09:25] I mean this is the best episode

[01:09:28] You know what it was we fucked up with Norton. We like we didn't prepare. We weren't ready

[01:09:32] But I feel like we just we kept the energy up. Yeah, we had questions

[01:09:35] We legitimately got fucked up. We had bad tech and then that cell phone thing happened

[01:09:39] people also on podcast like

[01:09:42] They're like asked the same questions. I feel like we asked different kind of questions

[01:09:45] We asked different kind of questions, you know, we still kept it topically

[01:09:48] We could go to mark marin route and just be like talk about yourself. You know, what's your jazz like

[01:09:54] So, which what's your so we got this cat in the studio. What's up cat? What are you? What kind of cat?

[01:10:02] What kind of cat are you

[01:10:04] That's marin. Yeah, it's my marin. We got a cat in the studio

[01:10:11] Um, so how do you feel about my cat's career?

[01:10:16] How's this cat? Okay, sir, electronic well folks

[01:10:21] Um, you know, that was another afternoon with the boys

[01:10:24] Uh, I think I'm allergic to the dog guys the come boys are back. Oh, yeah, you told us how funny is that?

[01:10:29] That's awesome. You fucking nerd, but like you're a dog and you're allergic to it. Yeah, but now if I get it

[01:10:35] If I get rid of the dog everyone's gonna think I'm a terrible person

[01:10:39] You ever see that Steve Harvey bit where he's talking about Sean Bell

[01:10:42] And he's like mad about Sean Bell and he's like that's why I understand why people are mad about Michael vick

[01:10:48] He's like let a man kill some dogs. Yeah. Yeah, it's Steve Harvey's

[01:10:54] The best comedian. He's the number one. He's so funny. What the hell?

[01:10:58] Yeah

[01:10:59] He just fucking he just has the worst takes and it's the worst opinions

[01:11:04] Yeah, he's talking about like he's like they mad about

[01:11:07] I rack they mad about Afghanistan saying they shooting babies over there shit. Send me

[01:11:14] I shoot the fucking baby myself

[01:11:16] He's like a baby come up on me. I'll be like

[01:11:20] Lord Steve done shot the baby

[01:11:23] Wait, he's like is that a real bit

[01:11:25] Get a bit where

[01:11:29] In the king's he's done shot the baby

[01:11:32] Is that him kings?

[01:11:33] No, it's like some later bits is like I don't know he has like a special comes out every year

[01:11:39] Hear this thing using crowd. We're going kings at some point. He just like popped his lego man hair off

[01:11:44] I'm bald now

[01:11:46] Like a full head air he must have a wig. Oh, oh, it was but it was like a lego man wig

[01:11:52] Yeah, like a helmet and like pulled it off and put yeah, yeah, yeah, he had a bit where like

[01:12:00] He was like doing crowd work in the king special to this guy in the front who had like braids or something

[01:12:07] Looked a little urban sure and he's like what do you do?

[01:12:11] And he's like I think he said like computers or something and he's like you can't even spell computer and everyone just

[01:12:18] A stadium for people going nuts and him telling a guy that he's in the literate. Yeah. Yeah, but that's so me

[01:12:25] He's definitely smarter than Steve Harvey a guy who's like, yeah. Yeah, gotta draw enough front row tickets to a stadium comedy show

[01:12:34] He's doing all right. You can't even spell computer. It's so funny. He's so good

[01:12:40] Um, so check out the new Steve Harvey. Yes, man. I should use in the special

[01:12:44] Also, check out the first half of this podcast. We got David

[01:12:49] We

[01:12:52] We got David Cross coming up in the first half that you've already listened to this podcast

[01:12:56] Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, come down bitch

[01:13:26] Oh

[01:13:56] Oh

[01:14:26] You