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Ep. 110 - Punishment

Cum Town | Regular | 07/07/2018

[00:00:00] Well, you got your fucking wish.
[00:00:05] Um, it's me and Stav right now.
[00:00:08] You guys happy?
[00:00:11] So are you happy?
[00:00:12] Opie and Anthony subreddit.
[00:00:15] Cause a flame was extinguished.
[00:00:19] We're a little late during the episode, but you need a couple fucking days off too.
[00:00:23] If you came into your friends, your best friend's bedroom and you found him with an American flag wrapped around his neck.
[00:00:33] Yep.
[00:00:34] Suspended from the ceiling jerking a hard penis.
[00:00:38] Blue in the face.
[00:00:40] Listenings are interesting.
[00:00:41] Do host dead dead dead and gone.
[00:00:45] So our opinion.
[00:00:46] Nick.
[00:00:47] A lot of people have sent us messages the last couple of days asking if Nick is okay.
[00:00:52] What's been going on?
[00:00:54] Um, a lot of other people have said some pretty touching things about how much he meant to them.
[00:00:58] His comedy meant to how gay he was and how gay he was and how that little his dick was.
[00:01:03] A lot of the gay guys that he sent the shirtless selfies.
[00:01:06] They're out of the closet now.
[00:01:09] Now publicly out and proud and they're also devastated.
[00:01:12] Then Nick is dead.
[00:01:13] So now they're back in the closet.
[00:01:15] They're back in the closet.
[00:01:17] But anyway, this is the last episode of come town, but we're going to fill our hours
[00:01:22] so, um, Adam, you said they're like, uh, George R.
[00:01:26] Banks, the guy.
[00:01:28] So yeah, I heard this week that the guy that played George R.
[00:01:30] Banks was devastated by the backlash to his character, George R.
[00:01:35] Banks, the racist Jamaican alien.
[00:01:39] He tried to kill himself and he came out this week and said, this was the place where I
[00:01:43] almost took my life and he was hugging his son.
[00:01:46] Wow.
[00:01:46] Um, so I think that the George R.
[00:01:49] Banks story is kind of a good analog to Nick because of course you
[00:01:54] misunderstood a misunderstood character.
[00:01:57] Well, uh, okay, before we end come down, I guess we should try and do a seance.
[00:02:02] Yeah, trying, trying channel Nick.
[00:02:05] All right.
[00:02:05] I'm in a little addict handle.
[00:02:06] Okay.
[00:02:08] Dear God, please let us speak to our friend.
[00:02:12] I know he's probably in heaven sucking off everybody there.
[00:02:15] James Dean.
[00:02:16] Mm hmm.
[00:02:18] I told me from everybody gets me.
[00:02:20] Seth.
[00:02:23] He's up in the wrong dead guy.
[00:02:25] I'm back from Jewish health.
[00:02:28] Seth, how's Jewish?
[00:02:30] Oh, is Nick there?
[00:02:31] No, it's Jewish.
[00:02:32] Hell.
[00:02:32] Okay.
[00:02:33] It's just me because Jews can't go there.
[00:02:35] So it's only for people that are not technically Jewish.
[00:02:38] Oh, it's me.
[00:02:39] It's me.
[00:02:40] It's me.
[00:02:40] They made it just for me.
[00:02:41] Interesting.
[00:02:42] It's a hell of one.
[00:02:44] Hell for one.
[00:02:44] That's cool.
[00:02:45] I didn't know these fucking talismans were this powerful that we could get Seth.
[00:02:50] We can channel seven.
[00:02:52] Those are some fire towels.
[00:02:55] I mean, it's got some sick ass.
[00:02:56] Yeah, we got a we got a talent of a Raven.
[00:03:00] Anyway, that's just a taste of how bad the show would be.
[00:03:03] Yeah.
[00:03:03] Yeah.
[00:03:03] If these fucking trolls on the opening, anything, you're subreddit.
[00:03:06] Yep.
[00:03:07] Don't lay off me.
[00:03:08] All right.
[00:03:09] Guys, please.
[00:03:10] That's what happens.
[00:03:10] How many times?
[00:03:11] Two days.
[00:03:12] You think I won't just quit this show?
[00:03:14] You think I won't?
[00:03:15] You think I won't have a fucking breakdown on air and quit the show and start uploading,
[00:03:21] cutting videos.
[00:03:23] Try me, bitch.
[00:03:25] I got a I got a deep soul filled with tears and anger about people criticizing me on the internet.
[00:03:32] That's so fucking true.
[00:03:33] Nick does have all that stuff.
[00:03:34] Anyways, so here we are, folks.
[00:03:38] A bit of a delayed episode, but we're here.
[00:03:40] We're fucking we're sucking.
[00:03:41] Yeah, I didn't realize stuff was going to be out of time.
[00:03:43] Yeah.
[00:03:44] That's really all it is.
[00:03:45] That's really all that.
[00:03:46] You don't need to have a fucking temper tantrum because the podcast is two days late.
[00:03:50] Yeah.
[00:03:51] Well, you guys have nothing to do except the podcast.
[00:03:54] That stuff has been in Portland, Oregon.
[00:03:57] Sometimes we have things we have to do.
[00:03:59] We actually said it on the last, I think, probably 11 episodes of the stuff would be
[00:04:03] in Portland, Oregon.
[00:04:05] And guess what?
[00:04:06] The boy did it.
[00:04:07] I was there.
[00:04:08] Thank you to everyone who fucking came out.
[00:04:09] There was some hard-dick shows.
[00:04:11] Seattle.
[00:04:12] It's like, well, you only work two days a week.
[00:04:14] And he said, but yeah, over five years, I mean, I never held a job longer than three
[00:04:18] months in my life.
[00:04:19] Probably.
[00:04:20] Probably.
[00:04:21] This is your life.
[00:04:22] One or two, I had long jobs, but at least once a month, I not show up to work.
[00:04:27] Of course, you know, so you spread that out over six months.
[00:04:30] Yeah.
[00:04:31] And then it's like kind of the same failure rate.
[00:04:33] You're like, oh, well, don't you get paid enough?
[00:04:35] It's like, what do you think that money goes to?
[00:04:37] You know, like God of words, shit.
[00:04:39] I'm going to play a PlayStation.
[00:04:40] Shit that makes you not want to do punk.
[00:04:43] Exactly.
[00:04:44] I would rather be better than doing it.
[00:04:45] I finally had some time to enjoy myself and play the new God of War on the hardest difficulty
[00:04:51] setting.
[00:04:52] This is how the second to heart, not the complete.
[00:04:55] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:04:56] The one that's like legendary or whatever is the hardest.
[00:04:59] Not the God of War mode, but the one just right below, which is honestly the heart really
[00:05:03] it's very hard because you're not relaxed.
[00:05:06] Exactly.
[00:05:07] You're not expecting it to be hard, but it's really hard.
[00:05:09] There's casual gamers and there's hardcore game casual gamers.
[00:05:14] Maybe they have a girlfriend or something hardcore gamers completely nude.
[00:05:17] Jelkin while gaming heads.
[00:05:20] No, and when you factor that in, it's hard to dick into your own ass, which is easy.
[00:05:25] Anyways, welcome back to come town, everybody to show where things that are bad or gay
[00:05:29] and things that are good are extremely straight.
[00:05:33] Yeah.
[00:05:35] That's so true.
[00:05:36] No, I love these, some company made goldfish, but the rabbits, they got like a little bit
[00:05:42] of a hint of cheddar.
[00:05:43] I think it's a Chinese that company Annie.
[00:05:46] Yes, the organic.
[00:05:47] Shout out to trainees rabbit goldfish.
[00:05:49] Chinese rabbit cheddar.
[00:05:51] Shout out to everyone in Portland, Seattle, for real.
[00:05:54] That shit rocked, bro.
[00:05:55] Have you guys ever been to those cities?
[00:05:57] I think we talked about it a little bit.
[00:05:59] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:06:00] She ruled.
[00:06:01] Yeah.
[00:06:02] I liked Portland a lot, man.
[00:06:03] I almost moved there.
[00:06:04] One.
[00:06:05] I wings a lot.
[00:06:06] I was in Portland after Austin, and it was like, why don't I just stay in Austin?
[00:06:09] It's the same place with less sun, with less sun and less jobs.
[00:06:14] But yeah, it doesn't seem like there's any reason for people to be there besides it is
[00:06:19] hiking.
[00:06:20] It's very chill.
[00:06:21] It's chill, dude.
[00:06:22] I'm not going to go hiking with Bobby.
[00:06:23] We can hung out with Bobby in Austin.
[00:06:26] Yeah.
[00:06:27] We went and got barbecue.
[00:06:28] That's cute.
[00:06:29] Yeah.
[00:06:30] He's a fun guy.
[00:06:31] Yeah, Bobby rules big fat.
[00:06:33] So though, yeah, I know.
[00:06:34] Big old fat stuff.
[00:06:35] I heard it here first.
[00:06:36] So if the Bobby, what kind of barbecue did you guys get?
[00:06:40] We went to, well, we went down a walk hard in the plan.
[00:06:43] Usually when I go down there, as you go to Croix's, then Blacks and Smitty's and you
[00:06:48] get some barbecue from all three.
[00:06:49] I love that.
[00:06:50] Because you don't know which one's going to be good.
[00:06:52] Different people who's got a yes, but Croix's market is like right off the fucking highway.
[00:06:57] So you end up going there and it's like, let's just see it here.
[00:06:59] That happens to me every single time.
[00:07:01] Oh, really?
[00:07:02] So you haven't, you didn't triple up?
[00:07:03] No.
[00:07:04] I got it like $100 worth of barbecue.
[00:07:07] We ate it.
[00:07:08] And then there's like $30 left and I go get a box and Mike Suarez throws the shit out.
[00:07:13] What?
[00:07:14] He just throws out like probably a pound and a half of a good.
[00:07:17] Yeah.
[00:07:18] A good meat.
[00:07:19] Yes.
[00:07:20] Wow.
[00:07:21] Stop.
[00:07:22] I'm fucking incensed right now.
[00:07:23] It was insane.
[00:07:24] What the fuck?
[00:07:25] Yeah.
[00:07:26] I want to eat that fucking barbecue right now.
[00:07:28] What a frickin' biscuit.
[00:07:29] Yeah, brisket.
[00:07:30] Prime rib.
[00:07:31] Good fucking Christ.
[00:07:35] Twenty twenty one dollars a pound.
[00:07:36] Oh my fucking God.
[00:07:39] Mike's got to go.
[00:07:40] Dude, we got to send his ass back to San Antonio.
[00:07:42] The scope.
[00:07:43] But to get the sniper out.
[00:07:45] Yeah.
[00:07:46] It's got to be a red dot on that motherfucker's forehead.
[00:07:48] The sniper rifle deaths are legal in Texas.
[00:07:51] Yeah.
[00:07:52] I feel like Texas, if they're going to continue to execute retarded people, they should do
[00:07:57] it by sniper rifle.
[00:07:58] Yeah.
[00:07:59] Why not?
[00:08:00] Because if you solve them in the trial, you release them on their own recognizance.
[00:08:03] They're like, no scooter.
[00:08:04] Everything's fine.
[00:08:05] That lady came back.
[00:08:06] Yeah.
[00:08:07] They just taped her neck back together.
[00:08:09] She's fine.
[00:08:10] And he's like, okay.
[00:08:12] And they're like, now go play.
[00:08:14] And then fucking mile and a half away.
[00:08:17] Chris Kyle.
[00:08:18] All this different types of...
[00:08:21] The punisher.
[00:08:22] The assembling the...
[00:08:24] Just so it's a blindfolded assembling sniper rifle.
[00:08:29] He always has the blindfold on until he's ready to shoot.
[00:08:32] Of course.
[00:08:33] And then he lifts it up.
[00:08:34] As soon as I stay calibrated.
[00:08:35] He looks directly into the chucky cheese.
[00:08:37] Front row in the room where the band is playing.
[00:08:39] And then headshot.
[00:08:40] Yeah.
[00:08:41] Headshot.
[00:08:42] And then all you see is a fine mist of pink ass blood on the same headshot.
[00:08:47] And then as in sour patch kids in blood on the back wall.
[00:08:50] After he realizes he's...
[00:08:53] Boy.
[00:08:54] Slow motion.
[00:08:55] The bullet pressing through that retarded guy's head.
[00:08:58] Texas style.
[00:08:59] It bounces back.
[00:09:00] It's too thick.
[00:09:01] His skull is too thick.
[00:09:02] The love star state.
[00:09:04] Make a chase.
[00:09:05] It's an illegal immigrant child.
[00:09:08] Nice dude.
[00:09:09] Ice.
[00:09:10] Dance.
[00:09:11] Reference.
[00:09:12] Take that ice.
[00:09:13] Yeah.
[00:09:14] You know what?
[00:09:15] Legalize.
[00:09:16] How about we legalize ice-is?
[00:09:17] Right?
[00:09:18] The terrorists.
[00:09:19] Fuck ice though.
[00:09:20] For real.
[00:09:21] We got them.
[00:09:22] You know what I mean?
[00:09:23] Adam will fuck you up in a fucking fist fight.
[00:09:24] I've already abolished vanilla ice.
[00:09:25] That guy's skin.
[00:09:26] Yeah.
[00:09:27] Woo.
[00:09:28] That guy's a real piece of dog shit.
[00:09:32] There's vanilla ice.
[00:09:34] Try to claim like he's like I was the first wigger.
[00:09:38] That was like my thing that I invented.
[00:09:39] Nah.
[00:09:40] That's until his oldest time dude.
[00:09:41] It is.
[00:09:42] Yeah.
[00:09:43] Al Jolson.
[00:09:44] Jazz guys I guess.
[00:09:45] Yeah.
[00:09:46] Those were the first wiggers.
[00:09:47] There was also Dewap guys.
[00:09:49] All the like Greeks that went into Africa.
[00:09:53] You know.
[00:09:54] Geometry.
[00:09:55] Everyone that learns geometry that's the first wigger dude.
[00:09:58] Dark meat is dark meat.
[00:10:02] Yeah.
[00:10:03] Dark meat is dark.
[00:10:04] If you did any time he was always sagging his toga.
[00:10:08] Yeah.
[00:10:09] Dark, dark meat.
[00:10:10] What's up bitch?
[00:10:11] I'm dork immediately.
[00:10:12] Dork immediately?
[00:10:13] Dork, dork immediately.
[00:10:14] I don't even know what the fuck our comedians did.
[00:10:21] How about how about I said I'm working Mindy.
[00:10:23] It's a show called dark and Mindy and it's the 70s still.
[00:10:26] It's a show about a black man dating a white woman and people are like what is that?
[00:10:31] Nailion?
[00:10:32] Yeah.
[00:10:33] No, it's just a black guy.
[00:10:35] They would treat.
[00:10:36] Yeah.
[00:10:37] More.
[00:10:38] Hey, honestly, more could probably get better fucking treatment.
[00:10:41] If you think about it.
[00:10:43] Which is the 70s as a black guy?
[00:10:45] Wait, did they mean to morgue?
[00:10:48] I don't remember.
[00:10:49] I never watched.
[00:10:50] Now I can't unhear it is like a California black guy.
[00:10:53] Yeah.
[00:10:54] Is my man more than his girl, Mindy.
[00:10:58] Her name is Mandy.
[00:11:00] It's a show about a guy named Mark and Mandy black people from Oakland.
[00:11:05] Yeah, I'm watching more.
[00:11:07] And Mindy.
[00:11:08] No, man, more community.
[00:11:11] It's a different show.
[00:11:13] Fuck.
[00:11:15] Yeah, boy.
[00:11:17] So how's how's the I've missed you guys?
[00:11:19] New York bin without me.
[00:11:21] I refuse to be missed.
[00:11:22] We miss we all missed each other tremendously.
[00:11:25] We were only in New York for like two days before you.
[00:11:28] Or I guess a Nick got back on Sunday.
[00:11:30] Oh, yeah, we all did split.
[00:11:33] I got I was in the Bobby's for a barbecue when I got back.
[00:11:37] That's nice.
[00:11:38] I haven't really even been back.
[00:11:39] Yeah.
[00:11:40] Once you have a barbecue that sets you back like what three days?
[00:11:42] Yeah.
[00:11:43] Yeah.
[00:11:44] Dude, I had those steak tips that he's talking about.
[00:11:46] I love them.
[00:11:47] Shit, dude.
[00:11:48] They're amazing.
[00:11:49] They're so fucking good.
[00:11:50] What is that?
[00:11:51] Some fucking butchery and fucking Boston does these sirloin steak tips and they're like
[00:11:56] fucking marinated in some weird shit.
[00:11:59] It's so good.
[00:12:00] What is tips?
[00:12:01] I just I know a rib tip.
[00:12:03] It's tip of your dick.
[00:12:05] It's it's steak tip.
[00:12:07] Your dick is made of steak tips.
[00:12:08] I got it.
[00:12:09] I don't know.
[00:12:10] It's some part of the rib or some shit.
[00:12:11] I don't fucking know, dude.
[00:12:12] Maybe the fucking shoulder blade.
[00:12:14] It's fucking no.
[00:12:15] No, sir.
[00:12:16] One steak tips.
[00:12:17] Sir.
[00:12:18] Okay.
[00:12:19] Never mind.
[00:12:20] I had like three hamburgers, a bunch of those.
[00:12:23] Fuck yeah.
[00:12:24] Dude, because I go for for the life.
[00:12:25] A lot of people don't realize this.
[00:12:26] I can eat.
[00:12:27] I can fucking put away food.
[00:12:28] I just don't.
[00:12:29] Yeah.
[00:12:30] You know, but sometimes I just take the, you know, safety off.
[00:12:34] Oh, yeah.
[00:12:35] Take the governor off.
[00:12:36] Safety off.
[00:12:37] Yeah.
[00:12:38] Fucking gun in the pussy.
[00:12:39] Fire away.
[00:12:40] Bro, I relapsed hardest.
[00:12:43] Frucking fucking Seattle.
[00:12:45] Next time you do that, it should be me and you.
[00:12:47] Yeah.
[00:12:48] Let's go get a shot.
[00:12:49] Did you get dinner after this?
[00:12:51] I'm down to get dinner.
[00:12:52] Do you want to?
[00:12:53] I got to pick up my laundry and then let's find a buffet, man.
[00:12:55] I don't know if I go.
[00:12:56] Let's go to Flushing Queens.
[00:12:57] No, because if I go hard, I want to go hard.
[00:13:00] Where are you trying to go?
[00:13:01] Who are you?
[00:13:02] Okay.
[00:13:03] You know what?
[00:13:04] Please don't plan this.
[00:13:05] I'm not planning it because the last time bro, I said fucking bullshit new to play.
[00:13:09] That's true.
[00:13:10] That place sucks.
[00:13:11] I just wanted to have a good talk.
[00:13:13] Yeah.
[00:13:14] I just wanted to have an adventure.
[00:13:15] Whatever, dude.
[00:13:16] No, I got to hear with that bullshit.
[00:13:17] People love saying that that word adventure.
[00:13:20] No, they don't.
[00:13:21] Like on Tinder.
[00:13:22] When I was on Tinder, this is a classic Adam bit.
[00:13:25] People love saying adventure.
[00:13:27] The premise is they love saying adventure.
[00:13:31] It's true.
[00:13:32] Okay.
[00:13:33] That word is used too much.
[00:13:34] Example number one.
[00:13:35] On Tinder, girl, I was like, I'm open to adventure.
[00:13:39] Wait, hold on.
[00:13:40] You're using Tinder again?
[00:13:42] No, when I was cheating on my fashion, I was not cheating on Don.
[00:13:45] This is fucked up, dude.
[00:13:46] It would be a fool to cheat on Dasha.
[00:13:48] And I have publicly stated that if we break up, I will be hooking up with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
[00:13:56] Is it Ocasio?
[00:13:57] I did sexualizing a fight.
[00:13:59] I thought I was a cada.
[00:14:00] I'm not like Joe Biden here.
[00:14:01] I'm just saying that.
[00:14:02] We need it.
[00:14:03] We probably have a lot in common.
[00:14:04] We're both no intellectual.
[00:14:05] You're stupid as shit.
[00:14:06] We're both.
[00:14:07] You're ugly.
[00:14:08] We're both inspirational.
[00:14:09] You've only harmed the world.
[00:14:10] She's helping the world.
[00:14:11] We're both.
[00:14:12] We're both.
[00:14:13] We're both.
[00:14:14] We're both.
[00:14:15] We're both.
[00:14:16] Are you ever seen that one?
[00:14:18] That one's my favorite.
[00:14:19] It's a little Latin.
[00:14:22] I think it's Latinx, Nick.
[00:14:24] It's Latinx, Nick.
[00:14:26] I thought when you can't tell what type of dark they are.
[00:14:29] No, that's what black Dominicans are called.
[00:14:34] I say that.
[00:14:35] I say that to a Dominican guy that looks exactly like LeBron.
[00:14:39] Yeah, yeah.
[00:14:40] Dude, that shit is so funny.
[00:14:42] May I'm a little from change.
[00:14:44] Yeah, I'm a young.
[00:14:45] It's crazy.
[00:14:46] Okay.
[00:14:47] Anyway, I'm not sexualizing her.
[00:14:49] I just think that we're all.
[00:14:50] Yeah, it's fucked up.
[00:14:51] You think she's only a fucking her or Emily and I pair of brown
[00:14:54] steve.
[00:14:55] A sex sex.
[00:14:56] What's her name?
[00:14:58] Alex.
[00:14:59] Alex, Alex, Alex, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley,
[00:15:04] Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley,
[00:15:11] Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley,
[00:15:18] Ashley, Ashley, daddy shallie.
[00:15:20] We've already talked about that, and it would have become Angela, We're
[00:15:24] going into the
[00:15:18] sweetheart of a
[00:15:22] Claire.
[00:15:23] Come on.
[00:15:23] It's your Mom bro.
[00:15:25] Wow.
[00:15:26] Score right now, I got a
[00:15:29] erie.
[00:15:30] Noyes, I think I want you to agree with your own dick.
[00:15:35] Just say,perfect, okay.
[00:15:36] Why?
[00:15:37] All right, squish that out.
[00:15:38] Okay, I think we'll sing T-
[00:15:38] Lynn's.
[00:15:38] Hold on.
[00:15:40] awesome drive your fucking ices out watch out for your housekeepers no no that
[00:15:48] wasn't heard that was that was some white that was some dumb shit look we're
[00:15:52] coming for white women on this product oh yeah you know white men were the worst
[00:15:57] not really no they got all the white women yeah those are the bad okay well
[00:16:02] gay white men are the best because they're gay white men are like Darth Vader
[00:16:05] basically yeah in what sense they're allowed to be extremely powerful is this
[00:16:12] because you started a secret gay snapchat and they're they're the most people
[00:16:16] that are paying your bill no it's because like they're beyond criticism but
[00:16:20] unlike white women they do have like real power and that most of them are very
[00:16:23] rich and own a shit ton of real estate in San Francisco basically every gay white
[00:16:27] man has at least four or five problems that's true yeah absolutely correct
[00:16:31] right they're all drug lures no no nicks on to something they're only they're
[00:16:39] all drug lords they have four homes yeah many of them what drugs are they
[00:16:43] sell like the size poppers which are legal many of them are on local liquor
[00:16:47] boards which gives them a lot of power in the community they're like the
[00:16:51] knucky Thompson's yeah you see that movie milk dude yeah that dude was all about
[00:16:56] it's about gay guys replacing milk with calm with come and turning a bunch of a
[00:17:02] whole generation that's mom I'd like to come Harvey come
[00:17:07] well anyways yes go ahead yeah go for the week first she criticizes
[00:17:13] vaccine waters for endorsing a white man over a black woman only problems she
[00:17:21] had with her incredible but yes just that she's not when was that all I know
[00:17:26] is Maxi waters told people to be rude to people in rest yeah Maxi waters rocked
[00:17:30] for that one and she told them to shoot her yeah yeah she's like yeah just some
[00:17:36] old bitch telling you go ahead motherfucker shoot me it doesn't she's like
[00:17:39] we're representative of like South Central LA right yes yes anyway so
[00:17:44] yeah yeah goes in on Maxi and watch it I need to talk about Maxi waters for not
[00:17:50] blindly endorsing a black woman yeah just that's it that's how fuck I don't know
[00:17:54] Iana some Iana for she didn't give her she didn't endorse her for seller
[00:18:02] spots anyways so that was a great and then you know then she accidentally
[00:18:09] summoned black girl magic and I went in on amber for hell yeah so then amber
[00:18:13] tambler and apologize is saying you're absolutely right I have no right to
[00:18:18] question a perfect black right mistress a gorgeous somebody holding public
[00:18:24] office yeah if they're black have is no accountability so she did something
[00:18:31] stupid then apologize for the wrong thing yeah and then when the apology
[00:18:36] didn't work now she's claiming she's getting death threats which probably
[00:18:39] fake because there's no I mean there's nothing on Twitter yeah you know that's
[00:18:43] all publicly searchable she's like did I say the death threats were on Twitter
[00:18:47] it's like where were they are where you know because I said it it's a different
[00:18:51] one yeah you can't sir there's what we're sending you fucking telegrams yeah
[00:18:55] yeah letters with different letters cut out from magazines yeah untraceable so
[00:19:00] apologize for the wrong thing and then when that doesn't doesn't work makes
[00:19:04] yourself the victim so that's the goof of the week and then she made and then
[00:19:07] David Cross made a statement friend of the show maybe former friend of the show
[00:19:12] made a statement that he's now having to revise she's make she's makes it she's
[00:19:18] making him revise all of his racism and problematic that's that's that's gay
[00:19:24] she's making him sit in a room and years ago we said a room and think about all
[00:19:28] the bad things he says like a walk and wall the Charlene year which is a pretty
[00:19:34] solid which is a good boy eyes back I think we should say publicly David Cross
[00:19:39] a Chinese Kurt Cobain it's us or her right no we're gonna say that what oh
[00:19:45] making David Cross pick between us or Amber timely I think that's fair yeah
[00:19:49] sure yeah yep so David you have 24 hours 24 hours to respond this podcast goes
[00:19:55] up which let me give you a little hint right now I dated you know how the
[00:19:59] episode was 40 days late if you choose amber guess what we're never doing
[00:20:04] the show yep that's right so I will kill myself
[00:20:10] and end the show and it's gonna be on you and the Opian Anthony subreddit
[00:20:14] yep so don't do it guys and I know where you got married and it was at my
[00:20:19] Jewish summer camp it was yeah how do you know that they rented it out in
[00:20:24] upstate New York damn cool big brat have you ever been rented out I have been
[00:20:30] in your asshole yeah is that what has that been rented out I wasn't awake so yeah
[00:20:37] you remember yeah you were your eyes were open anyway you ever see that freaky
[00:20:43] shit with someone will fucking fall asleep with their eyes open I hate that
[00:20:47] my dog does that's fucked up dude anytime anyone fucking falls asleep with
[00:20:53] their eyes open you should be able to slap the fuck out of them yeah that's my
[00:20:56] thing I want to get another eyeball put my ass just right my asshole oh no man
[00:21:01] the all-seeing eye you can look at it and I just stick my ass out of a tower
[00:21:07] big tower your regular eye yeah yeah silence
[00:21:17] ever seeing the village yeah yeah the Lord speaks
[00:21:22] silence they worship a deity which is a hassle I yeah imagine your ass well how
[00:21:29] would you shit it into a scope of a sniper I'd be a wizard overseeing you
[00:21:33] never should out of dwarves with my ass okay all right I said you know I've
[00:21:41] been playing too much God award and ogre whose face is an ass and I've all in it
[00:21:47] oh so have you actually been going in on God of War oh yeah it's great it's
[00:21:51] actually said it wasn't good no I didn't say that it's a little overrated maybe
[00:21:57] I don't like I don't like the one-shot camera I think that's a bad idea cameras
[00:22:01] too close and all the like you just get hit from behind all the fucking time and
[00:22:07] people are like oh well you know you suck at the game it's like well it's fine
[00:22:10] at the other god I don't know they did to change something that wasn't broken is
[00:22:13] it online or is it a story I don't know what that means it's a multiplayer game
[00:22:20] no no it's he's just play through the campaign you know George so I was hanging
[00:22:25] out my friend George in Seattle and Portland my man got a switch that Zelda
[00:22:29] game looks fun it's yeah I want to get it for the plane to Australia I did get
[00:22:35] it with are we going on today what's going on we are we are okay yeah no this
[00:22:39] changes the tickets are posted oh fuck yeah they fixed the date oh nice they
[00:22:43] didn't change them they fix them they fixed them they fixed the original yeah
[00:22:47] nice I can't wait I have a switch I just bought one we should all get one and
[00:22:51] then not talk to each other and play Mario's tennis against you now I did what
[00:22:54] we should play is overbaked what's over cook no I'm that that's my one
[00:22:58] opportunity to get back into reading no dude really somebody goddamn books on
[00:23:02] that I just got a bit you know I bet you won't yes I will no yes I will I just
[00:23:08] bought a book that Max recommended and I'm really so treated called 14 how to
[00:23:13] how to live when your friend Adam is gay the novel yeah by I'm reading a
[00:23:17] different book about 1488 what's that about how to deal with you what's that
[00:23:22] what what is that number can you tell me some easy real world solutions yeah
[00:23:28] what what keeping your community safe and pure mm-hmm what it's kind of like a
[00:23:33] it's kind of like a neighborhood planning book it's like an urban
[00:23:37] planning yeah in a certain ways yeah I read it no well anyway let's book 1491
[00:23:44] so these people email that's very is the show officially over now I guess
[00:23:48] someone he said that the show's I said it was canceled today oh did you yeah
[00:23:52] cuz like 5,000 people were at at replying my cool World Cup tweets I
[00:23:57] think post the episode bug and all this stuff so I just told them the show was
[00:24:01] canceled that's good cuz I'm a I'm an agent for a prank sir do yeah I'm the
[00:24:07] one knock knock on my nuts dude can you pay for doing that did you see there's
[00:24:13] a picture of Fran Drescher with her titties out like she's yeah yeah yeah
[00:24:18] hell yeah incredible bro you go girl I am so I was I was looking at that yeah I
[00:24:25] would have beat off probably but I was around her and Sarandon are like those
[00:24:28] two shoes and get him dude and Drescher dude breasts man Fran is looking good as
[00:24:35] fuck like Susan Sarandon's hot old lady how with those big old ladies
[00:24:39] fresh to suck but this shit this particular picture Fran was looking
[00:24:44] straight up good for any age was in spinal taps she's been around forever
[00:24:48] is this it no no that's not but that this is some Italian woman fucked up
[00:24:54] floppy titties is this the one yeah I love those fake ones man they're just
[00:25:05] smiling hard it's like taking from a paparazzi show yeah bringing their
[00:25:11] child to school and they cut their head off that picture and put it on just
[00:25:15] surrounded by cops and the lighting's always so much better on the face
[00:25:23] um nice yeah she was in an outfit I don't know dude but I was like God fucking
[00:25:28] damn I thought that this week to Fran mr. Chef Fran let me eat that pussy let
[00:25:34] me slide let me slide my tongue where is this picture I've I don't know I'm on
[00:25:41] the news tab on Google and I put in Fran Drescher tits I don't think that'll
[00:25:45] do don't do tits that's not newsworthy language Fran dress it would say breasts
[00:25:50] or no they wouldn't they would just say Fran Drescher she she she wasn't wearing
[00:25:55] a bra and she was her body was looking right right and tight who I would
[00:26:01] honestly just beat you to a pulp Adam to have sex with Fran Drescher Fran Drescher
[00:26:04] Obamacare not even a half never would be uterine cancer detection oh that's not
[00:26:09] it just look up Fran Drescher sex you know what I can't find it
[00:26:14] anyways so yeah dude I would love to fuck Fran Drescher what did you guys do for
[00:26:21] the solstice dude just me and a couple boys got together got the crystals out
[00:26:26] you know what I think I'm done with fireworks to oh yeah bull proclamation I
[00:26:31] didn't even go out board I didn't even go see him oh I sat my apartment all day I
[00:26:36] went to my rich youtuber friends apartment and watch them PewDiePie roof yeah it's
[00:26:44] PewDiePie's apartment no my friend just started this YouTube channel like a
[00:26:49] year ago now he's like a millionaire nice um so stupid it was kind of stupid he
[00:26:54] has a telescope and is living did you look at the fireworks the telescope no
[00:26:58] we looked on his roof it's for finding Adam's day
[00:27:03] why was it nervously laughing is because it's true you dig a small telescope it's
[00:27:09] a microscope hey dude don't make us pull your dick out right now use the wrong
[00:27:15] word to make us pull your dick on suck it to show you whose boss which I will do
[00:27:21] that's what that show who's the boss is about Tony Danny Danza what are you doing
[00:27:26] come on don't do that every character sucks is that's a fun show grown Italian
[00:27:34] men being sexually molested that is pretty good because it's not it's funny
[00:27:39] it's a grown man mm-hmm you know what I mean yeah especially in a town it's not
[00:27:44] it's not a sex crime if it's a grown man
[00:27:48] no that's what the America is if you get if you get molested as you know a lot of
[00:27:55] snitch that's how they get you in the mafia yeah yeah so you're low bang sexted
[00:28:00] yeah he gets sex in like the cribs do women apparently yeah which that's how
[00:28:05] you do camaraderie everyone gets a little piece of that pussy and then they know
[00:28:09] they can trust you film review time folks I saw the per the first purge yesterday
[00:28:15] was a good in the theatria with dasha was a good they re-released the purge
[00:28:20] it's the first purge it is the one of the biggest one of the gayest movies
[00:28:26] biggest piece of shit yeah it's all the same but it wasn't like fun piece of
[00:28:30] shit it was just like it was like very clearly cast of black people with a
[00:28:40] script with a lot of a a V that was very obviously written by a white person
[00:28:46] it was like now you an OG you know like I was like the whole dialogue yeah the
[00:28:54] story is that the first purge took place on Staten Island oh nice and you got paid
[00:28:59] to be part of the purge but then I don't want to do a spoiler because I got in
[00:29:04] trouble last time I did a spoiler but the one thing I will say is that they
[00:29:08] completely ignored the Italian population of oh really and they made it just
[00:29:13] sound like an island of black people and I was very if there weren't any
[00:29:16] mafiosa I was very offended on behalf of all Italians on Staten Island that they
[00:29:20] were not represented in the first purge and I just want to publicly state that
[00:29:26] they should they should be ashamed of themselves for cultural erasure okay
[00:29:31] noted duly noted this is the original purge the first purge is the fourth purge
[00:29:37] movie there's been four fucking purge movies they're fun movies fourth the
[00:29:42] premise is you get to do whatever crime you want yeah we'll purge what kind of
[00:29:46] it's all like make nine versions of that and it's all juggalo kind of mask is
[00:29:51] there ever a guy just uh it feels like we've made it everyone's like slip guy
[00:29:56] downloading child pornography during the purge yeah we've done that for sure
[00:29:59] yeah I'll tell you I watched last night the other sister nice which is fun
[00:30:07] because I didn't realize it at the time but you know that's riding the bus with
[00:30:12] my sister a lot of sister movies that are about retards sister act oh just no we
[00:30:19] did that already too anyways I didn't realize fucking Sean Penn and I am Sam
[00:30:25] is just doing Juliet Lewis and the other sister oh it's not doing an impression
[00:30:29] of any retarded person I've ever seen and they made the mistake of casting I
[00:30:33] mean again we've already talked about this but actual retarded people on the
[00:30:36] movie the other sister they don't do that it's just Giovanni Rabe so you can
[00:30:40] tell yes yes close enough did you know that Sean Penn is actually named after
[00:30:47] his father Sean Penn and he's actually the 14th in line of he's the 14th Sean Penn
[00:30:54] so his son Sean Penn the 15th will technically nice pet 15 nice that's
[00:30:59] great that's good man that's really good yeah 15 it must be a lucky name you
[00:31:10] know he's feeling lucky you should go gamble you should bet you should bet at
[00:31:14] bet the SI back on the website where you can gamble it's been in business for
[00:31:18] over 20 years over 20 mother you can't go to the bathroom because you have to be
[00:31:22] here for this so sit the fuck down please oh I got a prediction actually yeah
[00:31:27] anyways they got an easy to use mobile playing interface you play when you get
[00:31:31] paid a great mobile app to use it anyway offer live in-game wage rings so you
[00:31:38] can make plays throughout the entire game change your bet you know
[00:31:41] renege yeah read renege or whatever come on man they pay us money he just said a
[00:31:51] word I just said a word the word anyways I play there myself and I recommend
[00:31:55] bet the SI if you want to add a little excitement to your life and you go run
[00:32:00] out of poppers you put the poppers down you've had enough trying seal up that
[00:32:06] like a car like a sex feuds take a little rent a car and just go fuck I
[00:32:12] include one anyways good you bet the SI you can bet on everything even you don't
[00:32:17] like sports they got it live events that you can bet on you know stuff like
[00:32:22] stuff like the World Cup that's going on right now is like the end is sports
[00:32:26] live events like the what other events the cherry blossom cherry blossom you
[00:32:33] can bet on how beautiful they be beautiful the tree very or not that
[00:32:37] beautiful yeah well how many Japanese people will show up to the cherry blossom
[00:32:41] well anyone commits seppuku which is weird because it's like you gave them
[00:32:45] to us just stay in fucking Japan and look at yours motherfuckers don't be an
[00:32:49] Indian give go bet on Kabuki plays that's right go see a book Kabuki playing
[00:32:54] yeah just pointed people and say well how much way what do you want bet yep you
[00:32:58] know you go over bet the SI dot com put some money on that's right any Kabuki
[00:33:02] play they will take money on it you can bet on injuries in games that's pretty
[00:33:05] fun that is fun that's you know completely moral you can win against yeah you find
[00:33:09] a player whose child has cancer yeah yeah when that players child is gonna die
[00:33:14] that's cool that's cool that's a fun way to make money oh yeah so once again go
[00:33:21] to bet the SI dot com use promo code CUM that's capital C Lorque his UM 25 and
[00:33:27] a free $25 wager on the house hell yeah and 200% extra bonus when you deposit
[00:33:31] bang rush in the World Cup I'm telling you they keep fucking winning they keep
[00:33:37] when it's fixed it's fucking rigged the luck of the day my pick is obviously
[00:33:42] I'm going with jolly old England yeah football is coming home boys people
[00:33:49] expect Russians not to lie as if that's not just I know the biggest part of the
[00:33:54] culture they love flying and yeah except for one Russian that's my girl no she's
[00:33:59] the only she's they were they are honest actually yeah no there's not a lot of
[00:34:03] lying cheating it is fine they are like uniquely untrustworthy yeah
[00:34:08] to their blood yeah there's not a respect that about they don't even have a word
[00:34:13] for honesty you know that right yeah you don't have a word for integrity they
[00:34:17] don't know they've seven words for loan shark in their language but not one for
[00:34:21] that's what I really like about them they're like our cousins yeah anyways
[00:34:26] bet the aside comm use promo code capital C Lorque his UM 25 and you get a
[00:34:31] free $25 wager and a 200% extra bonus we know that rocks yep that fucking rocks
[00:34:39] I've been watching any World Cup I feel like a damn bitch I watched it I watched
[00:34:42] Brazil doing drugs like a motherfucker dude I've done acid in mushrooms I've
[00:34:47] been doing anything I thought you know because we had a couple extra days that
[00:34:50] there would be all this shit to talk about but really I just stayed barbecue
[00:34:53] and went to a hotel pool and watched the other sister what hotel pool did you
[00:34:57] go to get a nice to fucking hotel pool in the city oh Bobby's hotel that'll
[00:35:01] hotel nice she kissed Bobby I did in the hotel pool you got great lips doesn't
[00:35:06] he yeah well gift a gap comes with great lips Bobby's got a really good look
[00:35:13] don't you think I think so great look personally I do who's great Bobby was
[00:35:17] trying to make fun of Mike Suarez and he pulls up a picture of a blob fish on his
[00:35:21] phone he's like doesn't he look like this and the phone is in between Michael
[00:35:25] and Bobby Bobby looks way more like a Bob if exactly yeah I guess it looks
[00:35:37] like Michael kind of looks like an owl he does look now yep that owl that eats
[00:35:43] candy to attract children the tootsie roll pop out the tootsie roll out I'll never
[00:35:48] forgive him for fucking throwing away that fucking barbecue dude yeah that
[00:35:52] makes me so fucking man oh yeah no he's a he's a little esophically he's a real
[00:35:55] piece of shit fucking piece of shit he's what we call a piece of shit in the
[00:36:00] business do you want to do a memorial to your favorite comedian manette to
[00:36:06] net net and Hannah Gatsby oh yeah I watch I watched this thing that net yeah
[00:36:12] alright he's Sean Rouse my favorite comic in DC dies and now is my favorite
[00:36:16] comic who oh well Dylan well not my favorite comic I mean I was he's just a
[00:36:21] guy I just thought he was probably the best funny I said I'm on record you're
[00:36:25] on record I did say that and then Sean Rouse I've said numerous times is my
[00:36:30] favorite comedian a lot of people are saying guess what I said was my favorite
[00:36:33] subreddit guess who's got a curse coming the curse of the mold that's right I
[00:36:44] did read a very nice touching obituary from that Stan hope wrote where he called
[00:36:49] them the best comedian no one knew about or whatever but it was very well written
[00:36:54] and very sweet if you guys whatever cool man yeah cool that joke about the boy
[00:37:00] who are dying in the tsunami okay well we already said our P Sean so we don't
[00:37:04] need to spend time is precious anyway you guys talk about this show is smooth
[00:37:11] as hell I want to talk about nannette we already talked about nannette did we
[00:37:17] have it I like to call her vanette because with that ass she looks like a
[00:37:20] fucking conversion better what do you got a goddamn RV in this band do yeah here's
[00:37:28] some other names a bit of work shopping for with Waldo yeah about that who's
[00:37:33] wall yeah mmm go off yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I don't know I mean there's a lot of
[00:37:42] problems did you watch I just read I watch the trailer I watched it I watched
[00:37:48] yeah I watched the whole wait are you for real yeah well I mean everybody's
[00:37:51] I feel like you have to watch the fuck when I watch the trailer with also we
[00:37:55] were both first of all you're a professional comedian you should be
[00:37:58] watching every special that comes out I have been I watched the couple this is
[00:38:02] your I mean you're presumably involved in this business you should be I watch
[00:38:06] Tim's 15 minutes but but Nanette is not a comedy special say one moment they
[00:38:10] edited Tim weird he comes off weird in that yeah it was kind of it's way too
[00:38:14] he's way too eager and that's not how that's not yeah that it did feel different
[00:38:19] to him live yeah but uh congrats to Tim our friend yeah shut up Timmy
[00:38:23] um but yeah but it's not right it's not a comedy special she not to it's a one
[00:38:30] woman show right I mean I guess were there punch lines there were I mean it's
[00:38:35] like you know it just seems like shitty Australian comedy yeah there's a whole
[00:38:39] section there about how she was raped yeah oh that's what it's about yeah she's
[00:38:43] like men write me always right oh geez yeah I don't trust me because I write me
[00:38:50] it's like it like don't do it in funny voice did she say exactly if you want us
[00:38:56] to take you seriously yeah let's fucked up yeah did she say the
[00:39:01] N word or she did implied it yeah I mean we all know what she means by man
[00:39:07] the whole pack of it they were wilding out yeah yeah whole pack of men
[00:39:17] wilding bunch of they were they all came up a wilding well she is from
[00:39:23] Tasmania is really yeah that's where they're making that's where they come
[00:39:28] from damn dude we're gonna be banned from the country before we probably I'm
[00:39:34] sure isn't all I should like except for it is funny everyone is bad it is funny
[00:39:39] to imagine to imagine then at like just you know she's just going about her day
[00:39:45] or whatever in Tasmania and then there's like a little tornado that comes up and
[00:39:50] she just gets sucked into the tornado and the tornado leaves her hairs all
[00:39:53] fucked up and she's covered in Oh my god well that's how it happened in
[00:39:59] Tasmania Wow look I'm just pitching yeah jokes for her to use that would have
[00:40:07] been a good one yeah would have been a good one well you know I'm from Tasmania
[00:40:10] so you know it happens there a real devil that guy yo he was a devil a bad guy
[00:40:19] hmm is Tasmania in Australia then no I think it's like an island off the
[00:40:25] coast of Australia but it's part of Australia yeah and test me real test
[00:40:29] me and devils are like little fucked up dogs yeah they're like Wolverines yeah
[00:40:32] yeah they're like yeah it's pretty cool well I'm mad you guys didn't go with me
[00:40:38] on the little tornado bit yeah no I thought it was because people are gonna
[00:40:42] get upset about that I thought it was a great all of us to participate in it
[00:40:46] instead of just me no well I'm I Adam's jealous I was the way she does comedy I
[00:40:52] was wearing flip-flops Adam maybe you should get a big wide ass like that and
[00:40:57] that would help your my career yeah well people do like their comics I
[00:41:03] don't do the record I'm not body shaming or those pants were a mistake to
[00:41:06] wear mmm especially what kind of pants was she well her pants were too tight but
[00:41:10] being like sucked into her ass yeah and then they keep shooting her from
[00:41:14] behind yeah and it looks like her pants are just a real it's a little up on her
[00:41:18] ass yeah most of it yeah most of the way it is those a shot it was shot ass first
[00:41:24] it was mm-hmm I see I think that's a mistake for a comedy comedy special you
[00:41:30] gonna want to see the face yeah I would I do that do a comedy special and then it
[00:41:34] keeps showing from behind and my pants and shirt are taught I shoved into my
[00:41:38] ass
[00:41:43] way yeah you got to press to for English it would be great to just have yeah
[00:41:50] your ass is completely visible there's a whole cut your pants and the actual
[00:41:55] sure is literally just completely fucking dildoed up your ass why you just
[00:42:02] see the cheeks I didn't care to investigate it but it seemed like Jake
[00:42:09] was getting into fights with people about nannette on Twitter or something yeah
[00:42:13] I'm sure everybody wants to fight about it I don't see either you're in two camps
[00:42:17] you're either on a New York comic and you have to say it's bad or your Los
[00:42:22] Angeles comic and you have to pretend like you fucking had like some sort of
[00:42:25] emotional breakthrough watching yeah they're like wow this change how I
[00:42:30] thought about comedy forever I used to think it was about using mannerism tricks
[00:42:34] and singing your punchline talking about go I thought I thought it was saying
[00:42:42] so that's a thing so instead of actually having any sort of joke really but instead
[00:42:48] it's just recounting your trauma to a theater full of people yeah but in it like
[00:42:53] I didn't see it obviously but it seemed like it was like done like she's doing
[00:42:58] a special and then she's like you know what never mind but like if it was
[00:43:04] spontaneous in a single performance then that would be like okay she's like
[00:43:09] breaking the whole format how the fuck are you gonna do that but if you're doing
[00:43:13] that night in and night out like you know what never my then it's just
[00:43:18] contrived and student of course right well it's a performance I mean every
[00:43:22] I mean yeah we're not yeah that's not a knock on but if it's all the ways to
[00:43:26] criticize and you're you always seem like it was spontaneous yeah turns out
[00:43:33] she wrote her material basically the same people don't understand comedy
[00:43:36] comedy no I'm not doing that do we just come up all the stuff on the fly no I
[00:43:42] wasn't I came to the early show and that was all the same shit that's not what I
[00:43:47] was saying it's literally what I'm saying is that it's presented as she's
[00:43:52] going to be doing an hour of comedy and then she like pulls the rug by stopping
[00:43:56] doing the comedy like spawned landed supposed to be like spontaneous no I
[00:44:02] don't know the fuck you that's what I've even seen it I'm just so what are we
[00:44:06] been talking about it I just see the trailer and she said that people's people
[00:44:10] think she looks like a like a bloke mmm which was pretty funny pretty good yeah
[00:44:17] pretty fun you know what I look like and then she did that for she did like a
[00:44:21] Cameron Espa Zito mmm people think I'm a black yeah that's the thing is like I
[00:44:26] really don't understand how what she does is any different than what Cameron
[00:44:29] Espa Zito does in fact let me actually let me see if Cameron said that she
[00:44:34] likes Nanette I feel like she would hate it that's true she's got to be
[00:44:40] pissed yeah on my on my turf of shitty company yeah I would be and I mean I
[00:44:48] don't know Cameron Espa Zito I don't know her fucking emotional state but I
[00:44:51] would imagine because all of these people were self-serving fucking artists
[00:44:56] anyways I would yeah wonder if Frank dressers up to right now I wonder for
[00:45:04] fucking old titties around yeah why are you getting up and walking how sweet
[00:45:08] they would taste what's the oldest titty you've ever sucked Adam my mom no no no
[00:45:18] no I guess sexually sexually what's the oldest titty you ever sucked and how did
[00:45:23] it feel sex with you know I don't know if I've it not that old not that yeah I
[00:45:32] mean either I'm one curious yeah I'm curious if it's like beef jerky if titties
[00:45:37] get gamey no if they I mean they've been sucked on a lot even if you don't have
[00:45:43] kids if you if you're fucking your whole life you'd imagine your titty is getting
[00:45:47] sucked you know yeah yeah I don't see any tweets here about that now granted
[00:45:54] this is only going back to June 29th didn't just come out though I came out
[00:46:00] last week it did yeah just search search Nanette Nanette Cameron Espa Zito I mean
[00:46:07] I'm sure that she has to have like one obligatory that's good but the amount of
[00:46:12] tweets about her own special that's so funny it's you know it's like you know
[00:46:17] she's mad yeah for sure she's got me yeah yeah because this honesty doing
[00:46:22] something like this is kind of like what her whole career has been building up
[00:46:25] to I know and you know what it's like that actually rules yeah yeah yeah yeah
[00:46:30] you look at it by cucking the American fucking version of her salute
[00:46:38] oh I feel like cameras probably sitting around just pissed off going she's not
[00:46:44] even Hispanic well isn't that what you try to do with rape jokes isn't she
[00:46:48] have a special call yeah she has a special by rape jokes people aren't
[00:46:51] talking about because people are talking about Nanette yeah damn damn you
[00:46:55] think cameras be done run the hit on Nanette dude what's it called Nanette her
[00:47:01] name's Hannah explain it no that's a problem right there bro right there I
[00:47:06] don't like that you're not gonna watch name your special Hannah yeah Nanette
[00:47:10] the fuck does that mean that means I'm calling you Nanette little I don't know
[00:47:14] I don't know I kind of zoned out here and there while watching it because I was
[00:47:18] looking up the different types of wheat thins on Wikipedia what are there
[00:47:22] is there like a sour cream and I know there's Rosemary I got this sun-dried
[00:47:26] tomato and like basil one now that good it's good but it fucks up your
[00:47:31] breath dude I can imagine it's fucking yeah honestly sounds like the pain is
[00:47:35] worth the pleasure you ask me yeah it's like having sex yeah oh yeah the pain
[00:47:43] is worth yeah it hurts my penis that's my it does literally hurt my gal look it
[00:47:48] no joke it hurts my penis about 30% of the times I have sex does it yeah dude
[00:47:53] my fucked up for yeah heaven you've been working on it not dude I got lazy okay
[00:47:57] yeah yeah look dude I straight up I'm back in June 14th now and I single fucking
[00:48:02] tweet down yeah what about a wife there are people I just searched both of their
[00:48:09] names there are people that are saying if you like Nanette you should check out
[00:48:13] Cameron Esposito's those are bots yeah those are just lesbian women yeah
[00:48:19] that's probably true oh that is so funny dude that is hilarious yeah it's I
[00:48:23] wish I wish this wasn't such a low-energy podcast that I could get excited
[00:48:28] about I'm I'm actually legitimately very stoked I know that's so fun it rocks that's
[00:48:34] that's that's a man Esposito hates and Nanette and that is actually a big scoop
[00:48:38] of our party yeah yeah yeah yeah what about her girlfriend Ria her wife
[00:48:44] dude her wife well first of all that's her name isn't Cameron Esposito's wife
[00:48:50] she's a human rights to you yeah she's a mom her name is a mall
[00:48:55] Clooney damn I want to be some fucking successful woman's little bit first of
[00:49:01] all her name is Jamal Clooney she's a six foot seven black man at pegs George
[00:49:06] Clooney she's not George Clooney's wife she's a black man she's my her name is
[00:49:15] Michael Jamal Murray Kareem Abdul Jamar Clooney
[00:49:20] Jim Clooney's probably gay right yeah what he's probably gay yeah you're
[00:49:26] listening to the George Clooney podcast this is George Clooney you're listening
[00:49:29] to get a Clooney the George Clooney podcast he said he met his wife through
[00:49:33] his agent yeah just how a gay man me oh absolutely yeah yeah I had my agent I
[00:49:39] had my agent assign the wife yeah basically from Africa how are you for real
[00:49:44] you guys think he said that on Letterman I didn't until he said that on
[00:49:47] Letterman yeah that's the look first of all stop is dumb as fuck and doesn't know
[00:49:51] a single thing about anything besides who's gay and who has sex what's
[00:49:55] a big deal has the only thing he fucking knows so I will always defer to stop on
[00:50:02] issues well I never thought he was gay because I thought like I did think he
[00:50:06] does the exact measurements of everyone's cock because he's the fuck Stacey
[00:50:09] Keebler and that's a not gay man selection yeah that's that's a horny
[00:50:14] straight man selection you know I did you know I'm a wrestler from Baltimore
[00:50:18] dude I'll tell you I'll tell you what's the selection for both gay and
[00:50:23] straight men is Mac well none the way the greatest matter what your entire
[00:50:28] lock goes into why don't you take your fucking underwear you're wearing off
[00:50:31] right now right in the trash throw them in the garbage put them up your own
[00:50:35] ass suck you're under your current pair of underwear into your ass like like
[00:50:39] the and then shit him out of your mouth and during his comedy that's a good
[00:50:43] call right in your ass and get yourself go to Mac well dot com and get yourself
[00:50:47] a pair of the nicest underwear ever known the man or trans they've got a line of
[00:50:54] silver and naturally anti microbial shirts and underwear that are odor eating
[00:51:00] so we'll suck all this stink off your disgusting body and they believe in
[00:51:04] smart shopping premium designs and simple fabrics I might have fucked up the
[00:51:08] adjectives that's it they believe in simple minds simple people and delicious
[00:51:14] underwear well not technically edible trying I'm sure they taste good try it
[00:51:20] they tie guarantee you they taste better than regular underwear yeah I mean it's
[00:51:23] still gonna taste like cloth but a better type but let them let your bitch
[00:51:27] walk around and a little bit make your bitch
[00:51:31] hey bitch punch is so these are the
[00:51:40] I put them on your bitch go jogging them put them in your mouth that's exactly
[00:51:47] what Mac well done well dot com website for guys who make their bitch and you
[00:51:55] want to tell you it's the easiest shopping experience I've ever had in my
[00:51:58] life you know what the other things that have to buy online like bullets yep you
[00:52:03] know fucking tactical gear that's right rope it's incredibly difficult
[00:52:07] repelling to go on the dark web and assemble different types to get the
[00:52:11] lower receiver for an AR 15 to make it fully automatic that's right because
[00:52:15] you know what happens if you don't like that AR 15 you just you just fuck right
[00:52:18] you just gave some Russian guy 300 million Bitcoin but with fucking Mac
[00:52:24] welding yeah if those underwear don't feel good on your b**** pussy yeah she
[00:52:28] can fucking you go ahead and keep them they'll get you a fucking refill yeah
[00:52:31] you call them up say my bitch pussy smell bad and I think it's I think it's
[00:52:36] from the underwear and they'll refund your ass
[00:52:43] and Macwell dot com what's the code promo code comtown CUM TU
[00:52:51] in use that promo code get yourself a little discount check out those fucking
[00:52:55] underwear Macwell and our loyal sponsor we love them salute salute the Warriors
[00:53:01] yeah I fuck sucked in every time we'd sit do something as dumb as that I just
[00:53:10] think those two dads with that podcast the Midwest that are like what the hell
[00:53:14] are they doing you know on my way back to New York I flew from Portland to
[00:53:18] New York I stopped and I fucked those guys in the end yeah yeah I told them to
[00:53:25] meet me Chicago and I told them that never disrespect me and then I sucked
[00:53:29] both their dicks the completion just as little now I have a little piece of them
[00:53:34] always because I swelled their nut as well so I just want you guys know out
[00:53:39] they're defending our honor and if anybody says anything about our podcast
[00:53:43] being bad you got a date with my mouth your cock my mouth I'm all but I'm
[00:53:48] tempted to just just say that they just really just go hard defending
[00:53:53] then at now because of out of spite we got to do it we're gonna then you should
[00:54:00] I mean honestly if you have to compare the two I think that's because a million
[00:54:03] times better I'm sure yeah yeah and there really is only room for one yeah
[00:54:06] of course mmm camera as busy does sucks yeah I'm going on record damn Adam
[00:54:15] going I like the new Adam that takes risks taking stands well he you know
[00:54:22] he's got the same body type and they're they can only be one the same haircut
[00:54:27] same haircut gets his ass eaten the same way I don't have the fucking side
[00:54:33] mullet both George Clooney's wife I think pretty much every time I've seen I've
[00:54:37] seen her do anything in stand-up she's been like I got like a side mullet yeah
[00:54:44] that if you haven't guessed I'm a lesbian and I got a side bullet and go off
[00:54:49] keep going keep going go off princess keep going young Lord keep going man let's
[00:54:57] we're trying to get rant Adam to be a big brand a show Adam rent she's not
[00:55:01] half the comic that I'll tell you go off the rent boy becomes the rant
[00:55:06] mine yeah stay on Cameron leave Tom alone yeah she's never I'm a price what
[00:55:13] about the way she dresses yeah I don't care how she dresses on this hack come on
[00:55:18] dude sick come on say bad stuff about Cameron as because you know so what about
[00:55:21] the fact that she's a lesbian say that talk about there's nothing wrong with
[00:55:24] her being a wiske go on record there are plenty of comedians that are gay
[00:55:28] that talk about how talk about how it's bad I don't think it's a shit say it's
[00:55:33] unnatural say it seems good one time but he doesn't say it's bad it's bad it is
[00:55:39] bad yeah we got it you're all two little devils on your show yeah one devil
[00:55:50] that's I call her color color
[00:55:52] the devil's like do it in his voice and I'm out here snacking on devil
[00:56:00] eggs and motherfucking devil cakes as well yeah which are nothing but getting
[00:56:04] in a little cakes come on I love little kids watching great I got back in the
[00:56:12] great break off should I wish we go ahead I've been watching season four get
[00:56:16] dessert after this fuck yeah fuck dinner dude let's go straight to dessert
[00:56:19] or you guys want to get breakfast dinner I'm good on that actually we just had
[00:56:25] how do you feel about breakfast dinner I fuck with it from time to time I did
[00:56:28] that last night I should just fucked around and made it delicious I have a
[00:56:31] condo thank you I'm all I'm all set off breakfast very nice a good from your
[00:56:37] hungry boys stavocado stavocado yeah avocado this is your nest it's the green
[00:56:43] shit that comes out of his sealed dick no yeah I never nothing green is ever
[00:56:49] come out of my job have some stavocado smag my yeah it's extra infected yeah
[00:56:54] why don't you get your bitch get your bitch to put a little stavocado pussy yeah
[00:57:02] walk around and some fucking Mac welders yeah if only I had Mac welders to
[00:57:09] antimicrobials there's this my stavocado all right I guess it's time to get the
[00:57:15] newspaper out huh okay we can I mean we can do we got a lot of I like this new
[00:57:19] thing we do with the show's bad but it's four and a half hours long yeah that's
[00:57:23] our we are now ready yeah probably good we owe them more we don't know them
[00:57:30] shit shit this is my other worst part of the figure out which newspaper is today
[00:57:34] fuck the news for you guys for fucking little dick dude you're a sheep reading
[00:57:40] the news man I make my own news I make the fucking news yeah I'm scared because I
[00:57:44] get the newspaper yeah you know we always wanted a dog that brings me the
[00:57:49] newspaper you know it's a little bit extra get in here it seems hard to train a
[00:57:55] dog come here come here George Clooney's wife no I'm sorry that's my dog's name
[00:58:01] is George Clooney's wife I wasn't talking about a Jamal Clooney I was
[00:58:05] talking about my dog whose name is George Clooney's wife dude I'm all could get
[00:58:11] it though yeah look at this these guys these ice agents literally they're
[00:58:16] wearing fucking Darth Vader mask yeah dude I mean they're fucking pieces of
[00:58:19] shit but I mean it's got a Darth Vader mask on do you think ice could truly
[00:58:24] fuck fuck shit up like what do you mean I don't know man do you think I don't
[00:58:28] even know understand that question do you think that do I truly think that ice
[00:58:32] could fuck shit up like okay they're fucking training them with guns and
[00:58:37] shit more so and fucking stop stops question hour fucking day I don't know
[00:58:46] man yeah I'm kind of I'm actually scared articulate my brother I'm actually
[00:58:51] scared a little bit that these motherfuckers might do some raids there's
[00:58:54] talking about denaturalizing fucking already citizens what about what if they
[00:58:59] come for my mom dude who's saying that dude that was some fucking guy on Twitter
[00:59:03] said it dude so must be fucking true yeah little veneasy can't be back in Greece
[00:59:08] it's too she's too delicate dude is she Greece seems tight no Greece sucks
[00:59:14] Greece Greece which are my only exposure is the God of War franchise is that
[00:59:19] set in Greece well I mean you know he's an ancient he's a God award yeah he's
[00:59:25] our aries that's now in the he kills areas in the first damn that's very
[00:59:29] strict areas tricks him into killing his own wife and daughter damn he is to
[00:59:33] kill air that's fucked up damn and then he becomes the God of War oh that's
[00:59:37] tight and then the second game he pisses off Zeus so he has to kill Zoos he
[00:59:40] kills he becomes Zeus wait doesn't become you play this is all Greek style
[00:59:45] yeah no I got it but the first two games are like fucking amazing the second one
[00:59:50] is like one of the best games I've ever played fuck yeah yeah the third one was
[00:59:55] like okay it was like I bought PlayStation 3 just to play it and I mean it look
[01:00:01] cool but it wasn't as fun and then this one's the same thing words like but
[01:00:05] this one's all like Norse bullshit fuck they got God's suit do they got
[01:00:09] OD yeah but Norse mythology stupid yeah Loki's a little bitch yeah dude have you
[01:00:14] not seen right right and rock so how about a set of Netflix and chill Ragnarok
[01:00:19] I'm sorry I mean George Clooney's wife wait hold on I forgot I'm mad the wrong
[01:00:25] way
[01:00:27] people just don't know what they're mad about anymore they're like I'm all
[01:00:30] Clooney don't you mean George Clooney's wife wait do boy hold on what am I mad
[01:00:37] about now what's the best kind of mythology Greek probably for sure mythology
[01:00:42] I desire to have mythology do they have a little gods and shit now they have what
[01:00:46] like Celtic paganism yeah they got a like weird not yeah they but yeah right they
[01:00:52] think like the trees make rope or something is it clearing in the trees
[01:00:57] were rope like we think Stonehenge was we think they were doing out there was
[01:01:03] like a clock right or a calendar or something you think they did fucked up
[01:01:07] shit over there hell yeah dude they fuck bitches over there yeah dude that's
[01:01:12] where you would throw your bitch out really they would they would display
[01:01:19] her out in the middle of yeah hell yeah I was laughing the other day about you
[01:01:23] moved to bed style gentrified but then you get a black girlfriend you walk
[01:01:27] around on a leash around the neighborhood she holds you know you walk her on a
[01:01:32] leash I forgot how I arrived at that point it wasn't just that it was a
[01:01:36] series of jokes that led to that kind of yeah it's consensual but like
[01:01:42] imagine like you've lived here you're a black person you've lived here all your
[01:01:46] life yeah there is no public services available neighborhood and now some
[01:01:52] link like a stussy hat and like high water baggy right yeah yeah yeah my
[01:02:01] parents are funding my pro skateboarding I'm falling my dream of being a skater
[01:02:06] and I'm not gentrifying my girl my bitch is black my girl bitch love a girl
[01:02:14] bitch I'm dating a black bitch um Dasha and I were laughing in Vegas we kept
[01:02:20] doing Steve Harvey voice and saying how you gonna call it's not Steve Harvey
[01:02:25] what does Steve Harvey we were I mean it's whatever it's a boy okay how you
[01:02:32] gonna call another man by your own damn name like a black comedian not
[01:02:39] understanding the movie call me by your name I don't understand it why did they
[01:02:43] call each other it doesn't really make sense yeah it's like one of those weird
[01:02:47] things that people do in relationships oh so he would just go like if I was
[01:02:51] fucking Adam I'd be like hey stop no they're really stop us over
[01:02:54] so ever so Adam Adam Adam Adam I think that's what they did in the movie it
[01:02:59] didn't really make sense did they call each other their names while they fucked
[01:03:02] yeah they call each other Nanette that does sound like an Australian slur for
[01:03:10] a gay man and then dude let's shout out to Nanette now that we're officially
[01:03:15] pro Nanette I'm through the show hey yeah come through enemy and an enemy is my
[01:03:20] friend yeah it's a game of thrones out here dad she's like I'm not enemies we
[01:03:27] know you hate camera that's because you know she hates you I know we know you
[01:03:31] just did this to dog that ass yeah yeah you're just trying to dog dog she done
[01:03:39] her dirty yeah I'm on board she wouldn't give you a little piece of pussy yeah
[01:03:43] you know that's why that's why that's why it's a universal truth you keep the
[01:03:48] pussy away you getting dog
[01:03:51] yeah yeah welcome to a man's oh yeah brother man's world podcasting how did
[01:04:03] how was you guys fourth of July it was whatever I'm pretty fucking not cool now
[01:04:08] that the Supreme Court's gonna be filled with white men yeah you know
[01:04:11] the Jew guy dude yeah fourth the
[01:04:16] yeah I guess that's it you guys Jews lie yeah yeah fourth of Jews lie yep that's
[01:04:23] I'm not getting better than fourth a Jew guy you know like you guys just guys you
[01:04:28] know I thought it was like one of those where we changed something to go and you
[01:04:32] watch guy or works guy or works yeah since I do that on the show people will
[01:04:36] just fucking send me they're like how about this instead and it's like you
[01:04:40] know you say that in response to somebody saying something else it's not a joke
[01:04:44] yeah all the millions of things that rhyme with guy you know if to send them to me
[01:04:51] now that's not you guys keep sending them all to Nick yeah and Nick will
[01:04:55] respond to each and every one of them so I'm and I we're not gonna respond I
[01:04:59] mean sometimes I respond if you're a girl and you're hot you want to fuck
[01:05:02] stop he'll respond mostly you don't really have to be hot well I mean I got
[01:05:08] some I got some people I respond yeah if you were wide bitch you know you got
[01:05:12] that wide you got I can fuck your pussy sideways you big bitch if you're a wide
[01:05:18] bitch wide not big wide wide yeah like a wide oh not fat I mean a woman with
[01:05:24] like a 42 inch waist but like if you see her
[01:05:27] like one of those pissed off concrete blocks from Super Mario 64
[01:05:34] one a type just a concrete block with a band-aid on her back that's what I'm
[01:05:40] talking about big old band-aid bitch trying to lay flat you that cute pussy
[01:05:47] bitch to flatten me you know what guys yeah I'm gonna say it's been we haven't
[01:05:53] seen each other for two weeks shut up bitch sure yeah shut up this has been a
[01:05:59] bad episode it's not time for your sentimentality it has to pick the energy
[01:06:05] up and give me something to riff on dude I I tried to bring it dude I tried to
[01:06:09] call Cameron S. Bizzito one one of the worst to ever do it publicly what else
[01:06:17] but you know what what all I got I felt I just sort of felt like we were going
[01:06:25] somewhere with that tower where I look at things with my ass yeah that was good
[01:06:29] no it wasn't we got it fuck let's go let's go all right okay go I'll get a
[01:06:34] stick I keep if I keep hitting this thing all right here we go Nick was almost
[01:06:39] ready to do another cocaine episode the other was because we got it because
[01:06:43] stop was out of town he's like we got a third I was tired dude I didn't want to
[01:06:47] fucking I don't want to have to like carry the show it's the heat is keeping me
[01:06:51] down let's do it okay I got you know what why is there no fucking air
[01:06:55] conditioning in here that's good that's another reason why this was Josh's Josh's
[01:06:58] shut it off because it's 200 fucking degrees in here and I want to own slaves
[01:07:02] and go to sleep that's true that's this kind of weather a mister whoops yeah
[01:07:06] right a mint julep and and and we're nice fucking seersucker suit
[01:07:11] your soccer suit rocking chair on a porch shotgun leveled at my 12 year old
[01:07:16] wife come over here and shave my neck my neck my neck trying to fucking read yeah
[01:07:21] I got her trying to read I got a little molasses daughter now you know there's
[01:07:27] no way she like she tripping would you like to start going by like the kernel
[01:07:32] like you would you don't know I wasn't in the army why would I steal valor no I'm
[01:07:36] saying if you lived back then this close to the fourth of July fucked up I mean
[01:07:41] it's not closed for you to even suggest that just happened yeah you just want to
[01:07:45] steal our far from the fourth of July we're we're one of the farthest days
[01:07:49] from fourth no it happened two days ago that is how time works no what do you
[01:07:53] mean cyclical no did you see didn't you see that show with Matthew McConaughey I
[01:07:57] didn't get that shit circle motherfucker that shit made no sense people were
[01:08:02] watching it like uh-huh I get this I get this but that's you made no to circle
[01:08:06] dude what are you talking about true detective it was he was just saying
[01:08:11] gobbledygook no he was about true Nanak net net net net net net net net net net
[01:08:16] that's what we've been saying oh my ass is a flat circle
[01:08:22] and we like it that's the point a lot of people like oh look at that ward bloke
[01:08:29] he looks like the angry block from Super Mario 64 good good bloke good
[01:08:36] bloke that angry block I wait where's that bloke spandate and then they get up
[01:08:40] close and realize I'm not that angry cement block from super I'm actually a
[01:08:45] laser I say I thought you were that big concrete block no it's a lesbian
[01:08:53] which I got he's been chomp a big old lazy I don't know it says like wampers
[01:08:58] who I think that slams down yeah swamp is a really good word swamp swamp
[01:09:03] everybody thinks I'm swamped from Super Mario 64 do you remember that level
[01:09:08] where it was like a giant bullet and you had to go into the divots and duck
[01:09:12] yeah yeah yes everyone sees my ass and they think I'm Yoshi everyone thinks I'm
[01:09:20] the blue Yoshi but then they get up close and realize I'm a big fake
[01:09:25] lesbian in blue jeans yeah that happens a lot to a lot of lesbians yeah where they
[01:09:32] think it's a bloke but it's actually you think it's Yoshi well in in Australia
[01:09:37] lesbian is just is a woman that whose pouch is filled with granola yep this
[01:09:43] Australian women have pouches they are pussies yeah big old pooch they got two
[01:09:48] pouches you're talking about me talking they got the pussy pouch and then they
[01:09:53] got the more they got a belly pussy that's that's what I tell you's not not like
[01:09:57] more than walking around town with my Australian bitch pouch turned inside
[01:10:02] out I'm right oh it's like prison yeah would a kangaroos pouch feel like a
[01:10:09] pussy if you fucked it I think they're like wet yeah yeah they're like gross I
[01:10:13] mean it's technically like an outside pussy sounds pretty good to me because
[01:10:16] they give it's disgusting really they give birth the fucking Joey isn't done so
[01:10:22] it crawls around the body like a parasite huh and then inserts itself into
[01:10:27] the pouch if you take it out it'll die really really jacked right kangaroos
[01:10:32] yeah now there were a couple high-profile Jack kangaroos I think that's what you're
[01:10:36] thinking of that video of the guy just straight up punching the kangaroo that
[01:10:40] was pretty tight was really cool salute far away people think I'm a rue yeah
[01:10:44] and they get close and realize I'm just a Lizzo I'm a lazy I'm a good bloke nope
[01:10:49] just a little built a career of calling myself that cement block and super mario
[01:10:54] 64 and not simply do it anymore not I have not seen that nor have I see do male
[01:11:07] kangaroos have a pouch now right no male seahorses do can you eat a seahorse
[01:11:14] yeah you can eat anything you could you definitely can you can you can eat any
[01:11:18] type of animal do they taste good I mean as long as you eat around the poison it
[01:11:22] sacks you can you got poison sacks some animals yeah I want to grill up a
[01:11:27] damn seahorse dude looks like an octopus to me I was watching every watch the
[01:11:32] the shallows I got it for free with my Blu-ray player that movie is scary it's
[01:11:36] not bad it looks nice but this is fucking so Blake Lively is stuck on that rock
[01:11:42] and she's surrounded by a shark yes she's been on the rock for like three hours
[01:11:46] and then she starts eating like little crabs I guess I have to do this and
[01:11:51] you probably had lunch like four hours yeah soon to be eating spiders but the
[01:11:58] stress makes you hungry stop you're hungry crabs taste good yeah you need a
[01:12:03] little seafood with that yeah well she throws it up she does she probably throws
[01:12:08] up whatever a little seafood fresh bro I paid a lot of money for some good
[01:12:15] ass true dude Seattle that's raw fish oh doesn't sound so bad it's good up
[01:12:20] there is really nice fucking crackle pikes place you see them throw the fish
[01:12:23] yeah you go to the experience music project no you go get grunged you get
[01:12:29] grunged I did get grunged yeah drink some coffee I did heroin you did heroin to
[01:12:34] Starbucks listen some black hole Sun mm-hmm you know that songs about your
[01:12:39] asshole yep what's the Sun part the next I there's something a flash a flashlight
[01:12:46] into your flashlight that's inside of my dad that we open up was that
[01:12:54] in Seattle then rain free sound garden I guess they were I just assumed they were
[01:13:01] all from Seattle Chris Cornell dead he died last year and I called him bad and
[01:13:06] got people mad on yeah you called it butt rock I called I called I called I
[01:13:12] Chris Cornell and and I think it was the wrong it was the wrong Chester
[01:13:17] Garfield the river Bennington I think it was the wrong application of butt rock
[01:13:21] but what I feel just just a scar face from my chemical Sunday that was a very
[01:13:27] funny a very funny joke from the live show that was never recorded was your
[01:13:33] Chester Bennington joke I don't remember I said that the suicide note was written
[01:13:38] in capital and lowercase better than cap that was very very good and sometimes
[01:13:46] they say funny things when it's not too fucking hot Adams Pat logical need to
[01:13:50] steal jokes came comes in handy I credit didn't it I know but it was in your head
[01:13:54] honestly yes I am too hot and that's why I'm blaming the the episode on I was
[01:13:59] out of fucking straight away the boys are back together no they're not they're
[01:14:02] gonna be you're gonna be very mad we always think it's worse honestly I
[01:14:06] listen I always was on the side that it's like it has to be good and then stop
[01:14:11] was always on the side of like just get it out people like it anyway and now I
[01:14:15] think stop the gold locks of the crew because there was one you remember the
[01:14:18] one like beautiful like this one that all the bears hold down and fucking
[01:14:23] their bed oh yeah I don't know what goldy locks that was goldy there's got to
[01:14:29] be a gay porner that's goldy locks themed right like a blonde twink and
[01:14:32] three bears why not just a woman getting having sex because bears man oh cuz
[01:14:38] bears a gay thing in the gay culture yeah if not let's do it and I'll be one of
[01:14:43] the bear I'll be the baby bear yeah I guess I have to fuck a man then I guess
[01:14:47] damn I don't want to do that yeah if the vibes are right if the vibe is right
[01:14:52] yeah yeah is that where you are in the spectrum I guess I tell I think I've told
[01:14:57] this so you got to do folks you just got to vibrate them you gotta get a
[01:15:00] figure out how to vibe stavros you got a vibe my car do a trist I was trying to
[01:15:06] think the other day like honestly maybe he was if he had long hair was wearing
[01:15:10] lipstick I mean I can answer honestly absolutely not you think absolutely
[01:15:14] not of course not you definitely will fuck a guy I would not why I wouldn't do
[01:15:19] it no it's because I'm not attracted I mean it's the ideas disgusting you don't
[01:15:23] think but you're sexed with them you think I like attention yeah but you're
[01:15:27] having and again it's safe but I don't worry about that it's here it's like if
[01:15:32] you fuck a woman in the ass it's the same thing
[01:15:38] there's shit it is not does not balls swinging back and touching my yeah
[01:15:43] yeah that would be pretty funny that's what happened you have sex with a woman
[01:15:47] in the ass her balls are everywhere yeah very
[01:15:50] double hilarious yeah I went to a show once and there was a guy who reminded me
[01:16:00] of my friends ex-girlfriend uh-huh more than any other person I was getting
[01:16:04] like a woman's vibe from him and I was like you thought it was kind of beautiful
[01:16:07] if this guy sucks me off I wouldn't be that man make you ever think a guy was
[01:16:10] a little bit beautiful even a famous guy the brothers like yeah man you could
[01:16:15] say or like have feminine features that are like yeah yeah but not in a way that
[01:16:20] I'm like turned on but you think that but you think Sebastian Bach is like a
[01:16:26] very feminine man you think Sebastian Bach from that band was a good skid row
[01:16:31] yeah that's a good white trash guy I want fuck that's a funny one that's a
[01:16:36] funny one no I mean he's a uniquely feminine looking man he looks like
[01:16:40] yeah yes but you wouldn't fuck him of course not because it's a man can you
[01:16:43] know if it was in his prime Nick would fuck him hmm fast-bender is like Tyler
[01:16:52] kind of like a
[01:16:55] discussion woman and looking man I'm saying beautiful not with that look like
[01:17:00] women that's what beautiful you don't think you don't think that that Michael
[01:17:05] fast-bender is beautiful no no you don't think he's very attractive no I think
[01:17:10] he's a good actor come on to you he's a good looking guy you can't know I can
[01:17:14] recognize like that guy is fucking great looking no I got yeah I mean that's
[01:17:18] somebody who has like an aesthetically correct face uh-huh but it's not like
[01:17:23] that's an attractive to something I think he's a good actor okay beyond the
[01:17:28] acting I'm just saying that like looking at that guy no no cuz that's not what
[01:17:33] no that's weird what do you but what about you someone who's beautiful a man
[01:17:39] yeah what what's like a guy that I guess I don't know I don't want to fuck like
[01:17:44] go hot man I thought I was maybe gay in high school cuz I kind of had a crush
[01:17:49] on the guy from the strokes Julian that's you being a poser it was just me
[01:17:55] being a pussy yeah yeah yeah yeah but I thought he was cool cuz he was not hot he
[01:18:00] looked sick and like pale like he was on drugs and so you were sexually attracted
[01:18:05] this man I was kind a little bit nice to be up and it wasn't a little confusing
[01:18:10] now I wasn't like a beat off thing but it was like I kind of wanted to it was
[01:18:14] like I put a thing in your ass thing I wanted to be like with him not to fuck
[01:18:19] him
[01:18:23] he wanted to be with him yeah yeah I just wanted to be his amal clooning yeah
[01:18:31] not to hang out with him you know like I like Club Hans biggest call each other
[01:18:37] by their name share a peach and about about about about eat a peach off of his
[01:18:42] car did you get Nick did you get any blood in your dick while you saw that
[01:18:51] movie what movie call me by your name no zero blood no in fact that's a lie
[01:18:57] it's not a lot got a little bit of that's not true that's no what I thought
[01:19:02] about the movie is like it's very hard to make a sentimental movie that doesn't
[01:19:07] like cross the line into being just bullshit yeah and if you can walk that
[01:19:11] line and do it well like that's very good art and I think that movie did it
[01:19:15] did you think the dad's speech at the end was a bit much no not at all I thought
[01:19:20] it was like I get the movie no because it's again that's like an opportunity
[01:19:24] very easily for that like you know I mean to like fuck up that and have the dad
[01:19:29] pat himself on the back too much for being accepting of his gay son or whatever
[01:19:34] and they only address it as much as it needs to be addressed and then it mostly
[01:19:37] speaks to the point of like you know yeah you'll never get to experience this
[01:19:42] again and if it was like a heterosexual relationship it kind of would be like
[01:19:46] to boring they're like needs to be some kind of barrier yeah I know what you're
[01:19:51] saying yeah no it's a good I watched that movie that link later movie before
[01:19:55] sunrise recently because I remembered that it was good and it was very bad how
[01:20:01] about a movie called before Sundar and it's the same movie but it's all Indian
[01:20:05] people they're like when is did when I did morning yet I do not know I haven't
[01:20:10] seen the movie so I do not know what happens we walk on that train they're
[01:20:14] on a train why don't we fuck on a train meet on a train and he has a flight in
[01:20:19] the morning she's going to Paris he has a flight from Vienna he's like just like
[01:20:23] get off on Vienna with me and just spend the night with me I don't think they
[01:20:28] hook up they don't know but they just talk all night but when you're younger and
[01:20:32] you watch it you're like wow this speaking of talking all night somebody's
[01:20:35] really been sorry hogging the airtime over here I'll stop talking recounting
[01:20:40] movies that they've seen
[01:20:43] sorry I know I know they don't fuck they don't they fuck actually but then I
[01:20:54] have in the second and third movie there's three of them you know be a funny crime
[01:20:58] is sneaking into the sneaking into the wax museum at night and using your hot
[01:21:03] penis to fuck yes yes what happened you put your dick on like a Roy Rogers heat
[01:21:10] lamp just get your dick hard and hot and then you slowly fuck holes in the
[01:21:15] Morgan Freeman's face somebody fucked the holes are Matt Damon's head
[01:21:22] madam two saws does madam two saws have a pussy's what stop changing the bit
[01:21:29] stick with the one I'm doing for your bit that would be cool I would love to
[01:21:35] get my fucking cock just fucking hot as a bitch you know what you do a lot of
[01:21:39] times it's like instead of yes and then you're like but what if it was my idea
[01:21:43] the thing that was just yeah yeah it's not really yes and it's a parallel bit
[01:21:47] yeah because I'm not as good a team player I'm not improv I would love to
[01:21:55] just fucking suit up the holes in their dude now would you just do any part of
[01:21:59] them would you fuck different parts nice yeah it wouldn't be but holes or
[01:22:05] shit like that somebody use their cock to melt Bruce Willis's face you could
[01:22:14] fuck a hole in it and make it a batman villain and candy to or candle day
[01:22:19] candle they did this well well Batman it seems you couldn't get to the wax
[01:22:26] museum in time damn I remember one of the first times I came in New York we
[01:22:33] went to my big bit was to have Christina take a picture of me we were like 16 at
[01:22:38] the time there was an Elton John describe Christina's body in that area
[01:22:43] let's hear it I'm not gonna skip that she was sprouting or they had sprung she
[01:22:50] was a little around teenage not even long enough to need to be shaved what's
[01:22:54] the first yeah I don't know that she was like a kid shout out to Christina yeah
[01:22:58] Christina shout out to all the Christina's out there in podcast listening land
[01:23:05] I bent over in front of the what was she wearing I think just jeans and a
[01:23:10] black sweatshirt oh my name remembers oh that's what I was wearing so there's
[01:23:18] a picture we planned it was city Hawkins dance anyway I was bent over in front
[01:23:24] of the Elton John and I got her to take a picture me and I thought that was a
[01:23:31] really good that is very funny so we would have been good friends yeah I made
[01:23:38] her just a it was came up pretty blurry but I was pretty proud of it yeah that
[01:23:43] fucking game mother fucker Elton John whoever smelted Delta John that little
[01:23:49] man that about that one smelton John whoever smelted Delta John and he's
[01:23:57] farting on stage yeah he can't help it he's like Betty in the Jets and his
[01:24:03] fart nails yeah Adam Sandler's listening get your production company to make
[01:24:09] it happy man is that I'm saying like children should we talk his kids yeah
[01:24:23] should and he's got a lot of I haven't been paying attention to crazy days and
[01:24:27] nights but apparently they just named a bunch of pedophiles really yeah there's
[01:24:31] a bunch of stuff that was supposed to happen in 2018 that didn't like that
[01:24:35] like Congress the wife of some congressman or state representative or
[01:24:40] state legislator in this house no come on dude you know it's not you know
[01:24:46] Danny has heard his innocent he's in the past I'm sorry come on we've discussed
[01:24:50] this there's a new one the wrestling coach guy from Ohio yeah no Don
[01:24:58] Domarira Felder no not the other Don who's the other Don from the Eagles oh shit
[01:25:05] the band the Eagles yes team the band the McLean no Don Henley
[01:25:12] Henley Henley Don Henley was done yeah Don Henley fucked kids now he liked
[01:25:19] there's something with a two underage prostitutes in his room like they
[01:25:23] covered up and one of the prostitutes grew up and married like some politician
[01:25:27] she was supposed to well this evidence of you know I guess Don Henley doing
[01:25:32] something but that was in crazy days and nights back and falling taking that
[01:25:36] teenage pussy for a stroll this song dirty laundry is about the media
[01:25:41] coverage of him with the two other prostitutes he got two underage
[01:25:46] prostitutes in his fucking yeah yeah and one of them overdosed and when the
[01:25:51] police showed up he's like that's their cocaine and it was like 22 grams
[01:25:55] of these children are fucking this hard was 14 year old brought four thousand
[01:26:02] dollars with the cocaine to my my house I don't know how they got here why they're
[01:26:05] naked they're like yeah that checks out look I love I love fucking Hotel
[01:26:10] California brother keep chugging that's the only Eagles song I know someone
[01:26:15] else Desperado that's not them yeah take it easy take it
[01:26:24] right suck me wait she wasn't the one that died then who's the one that died
[01:26:30] I don't fucking know what's the guy from the who he also got child porn on deck
[01:26:35] yeah he said he was doing research or something hell yeah also he said he was
[01:26:40] transitioning and then he never did it sport people he towns it he wanted to
[01:26:47] be a woman I don't know whatever are we ending this no we're gonna keep going
[01:26:53] until this is funny I'm gonna hold you here until I think of something you had
[01:27:00] all day to shit you had all day to go to the bathroom I've been going to the
[01:27:05] bathroom all day at all week how many times do you shit dude I've been on this
[01:27:09] thing where I've been taking like three shit today I don't know what it's going
[01:27:12] on you got a bad guy doesn't tolerate we'll stop eating cheese brother lost his
[01:27:16] plug
[01:27:20] what did you you're at for your ass yeah you got a plug is he's got a plug of
[01:27:26] shit up yeah my man loose got that loose my man Lucy goosey over here got a
[01:27:32] rubber butt plug I guess maybe we should just end it once and for all it's too
[01:27:38] hot next time we do this a premium episode this week guys if you're tired
[01:27:42] of the podcast being bad which it has been a money go to patreon we'll have a
[01:27:47] better episode up this weekend once we're refreshed we got some air conditioning
[01:27:51] go let me just say this I've been on a red eye all night let me just say this I
[01:27:56] got a lot of air conditioning in Queens boys we're not going to say I'm not
[01:28:00] taking a train for an hour and a half to get money mom is on the ninth we have
[01:28:05] some good comedians are gonna be there Chris there's on it Chris there a couple
[01:28:11] other motherfuckers some other people yeah so come out again thank you everyone
[01:28:17] Seattle and mother fucking Portland oh yeah I'm a Caroline's August 9 by the way
[01:28:23] I'm gonna talk about that you're on the Sunday show are you oh yeah no I'm not
[01:28:27] okay yeah I actually put 12 in the picture okay oh and the auto-bar ticket
[01:28:32] links are up guys yeah and then we'll start we'll have links up for Cleveland
[01:28:38] and Boston soon yeah I straight up forgot that 11 comes after 10 when I wrote
[01:28:42] that I thought it was 9 10 12 you dumb bitch yeah and I will have some more
[01:28:51] dates coming up soon to guys again Seattle fucking Portland was a fucking blast
[01:28:55] we'll post the Australia dates on Twitter this week are we doing stand-up shows
[01:29:01] to adjust I think we're doing stand-up and I'd like to do both but anyway that's
[01:29:06] the show guys bye guys goodbye