Cum Town | Regular | 08/23/2018
[00:00:00] Hello everyone welcome to come to fuck your crinkling keep the shit keep the fucking Mike thing
[00:00:06] We got crinkle Stevens over here. How's it sound? I'm gonna stand faster crinkle Stevens
[00:00:11] Who's the actual guy Chris Stevens? He was killed in Benghazi. Yeah. Oh, yeah, he was a homosexual
[00:00:16] That's a homosexual was meeting with his
[00:00:19] Libyan lover in secret after he was doing cocaine with Obama
[00:00:25] Accidentally sucked his dick to hard and so they had to
[00:00:32] It's true. I sucked dick to hard. I suck this I sucked the life out of his dick
[00:00:38] Just thinking about Obama with like top hat and monocle guys sucking them off in limo
[00:00:43] Netflix has some contractor the Obama yeah
[00:00:45] Vamas you're gonna get shows and then they just have like just some reality show where you know another one of these reality shows
[00:00:52] Where it's a contest to see how gay you can be?
[00:00:57] Cooking or whatever cooking cooking's cool and not I mean being gay is cool
[00:01:01] I was only non gay things to do or lift weights and then listen to the gate acidic air rate sign
[00:01:10] Because you want to become more of a man. Yeah, I'm a perfect male. No, you're trying to add mass to a males
[00:01:17] Yeah, there's nothing straighter than being a slob. That's right dude. That's what I say. Mm-hmm. I'm straighter than my dick
[00:01:22] Which I seriously if you do if you go to Chelsea and you see like real fancy like David Barton Jim gays those guys are like
[00:01:31] Incredible yeah, they're a donus of course. Yeah. Yeah, they run 4 440. I hope they don't revolt dude. I know
[00:01:40] They like because they don't have the stress of women
[00:01:42] I'm even though they don't need it. That's right. Don't have HIV, but they get the pills anyways
[00:01:48] They do if I lift it which will make you live live until you're like 200 years old and it makes you powerful in the gym
[00:01:53] Yeah, because your white blood cells are entire tech industry is all homosexuals and they
[00:01:59] They say took over the world from the Catholics. I guess in
[00:02:03] 70 whenever you're all the same thing whenever they came up with fucking AOL online
[00:02:08] No, they spun off a segment of the get of the Catholic church. I want to have a show where I'm a conspiracy theorist
[00:02:13] It does even no research into that world
[00:02:21] Based on nothing not even prior conspiracies. I love that. Yeah stream of consciousness. Uh-huh. You know what I mean?
[00:02:30] That's that's some shit the fucking you want to hear some good animal crackers
[00:02:35] Mm-hmm. They had to change the box and take the pictures of the animals and cages off the box
[00:02:41] Okay, is that that bad? It made people sad. It's cruel to animals. Uh, I mean, what's the big deal?
[00:02:47] You got the line in the field who's who's really hurt by that?
[00:02:51] Who's hurt by what who's hurt by the animals and cages? That's the question. Yeah, there's still animals and cages
[00:02:59] Yeah, I mean, I guess I don't see the reason to be mad at that
[00:03:02] One's the last time you I don't see the reason to be mad at the original box. I know I don't care either way
[00:03:07] I'm not I'm not mad at either one. It's not even a photo. It's a drawing. Yeah, it's an incredibly retarded thing to get up
[00:03:14] I just don't care either way whether they're in the cave and then the game is with the position you're taking it
[00:03:18] This isn't like a this is complete because I understand sort of what you're trying to say which is like no
[00:03:24] I'm not trying to say I'm trying to say is like well
[00:03:26] Why would you get mad at them doing that which is like I understand I just don't give up like you know
[00:03:31] Miss gendering trans people or whatever like yeah
[00:03:34] The trans person asked me to say she then I'll say she because it's not a battle to somebody already picked this battle
[00:03:41] Somebody started a campaign to get the fucking animals change. I know but I don't give a fuck
[00:03:46] Well, I think but also the the practice position to have the practice of eating is like you shouldn't be mad about them changing the animals
[00:03:55] Mm-hmm, which is I just honestly don't care if the animals in in a fucking
[00:04:02] I don't care if it was initially that they were in a picture on a field
[00:04:06] I wouldn't be like these animals should be in case I know that's not the problem that I was I know I
[00:04:12] Mean I get it wide change it, but I also don't give a fuck that they changed it
[00:04:16] I guess the old I'm the ultimate guy who doesn't care bitch anyway guys
[00:04:21] Back to the business back to be oh here's something I forgot to do
[00:04:24] Aretha Franklin passed away and I wanted to I wanted to read the Aretha Franklin. Yeah, well I want to
[00:04:33] Think for you to be mad. It's not so much. I said me my friend
[00:04:36] I'm not a dozen care about things me still you clean. No, you're really care
[00:04:40] You're upset you care the most mad that read the Franklin's died and you want them to change all of her albums to make her white
[00:04:45] Yeah, I do want that if we will you stepped on my point. Did you see the Jim?
[00:04:48] Oh, you're talking about the Jim Carrey thing. Yeah, that was no. No, I'm trying to get my own Jim Carrey did a painting of her
[00:04:54] She was basically white in the painting. Hell yeah, it was it was pretty funny. It would be funny to be painted her is the mask
[00:05:02] Somebody stop me. I just wanted to get my tribute out and it is as follows as you see K
[00:05:08] M Y Dick find out how big my dick is oh my penis like my penis like my penis like my penis like my penis
[00:05:21] Spell wrong throwing a little eat my old English
[00:05:31] Oh, yeah, that was a fun. That's a foundational bit. Honestly without that bit does come town ever happen. No, probably not
[00:05:43] Started you're crinkling again you little sorry. It's a beautiful day to suck dick. I'm gay
[00:05:55] That that one got me pretty good too. That's a good woman
[00:05:57] Mm-hmm. Good morning boys and girls. There's an afternoon. I don't know what time does miss I think it's after school
[00:06:04] Yeah, he comes in. He's out. He comes from work takes his shoes off from my job at the being gay store
[00:06:12] I've been sucking off the policeman the only other man who lives in this town. Yeah
[00:06:17] Two adult men. I hated that documentary so much dude. Why did you see it? No, I'll see it
[00:06:24] I saw the trailer and I just incredibly beautiful. I just fuck with mr. Rogers, dude
[00:06:29] He seems like a good guy. He was he was a good guy. Yeah. I
[00:06:36] He didn't fuck kids is that why you're mad at him no
[00:06:40] No, I just don't trust him what do you think he's up to man?
[00:06:44] He's better on their peas and cues that extent you can't trust him real people
[00:06:48] Some people just nerds real people fuck up bad, you know, yeah, yeah, he didn't have a fucking couple
[00:06:55] That's that's yeah, I was gonna say I was literally just like to say if mr. Rogers also had like 70
[00:07:01] UIs like this guy's great. He's human. Yeah, this is human. Yeah a real hero
[00:07:08] You know it just seems like he has secrets that haven't been found out and we'll never be found up
[00:07:12] I know it's hard to fathom because we're all fucking pieces of shit
[00:07:15] But some people are good people that just don't do bad in the world name one name one of them
[00:07:20] Not mr. Rogers you can't do can't besides mr. Rogers name one. Oh fuck. I don't know literally Oprah's
[00:07:25] No, Oprah's definitely bad. Oh, but definitely doesn't yeah, dude. She she was at court for what was it the
[00:07:32] How do you wanna Oprah's got something going on Oprah's got nothing dude? I'm telling you she's got the Oprah started dr
[00:07:38] Phil, dude, that's evil that guy sucks. Oh, so she's responsible for cash
[00:07:43] God made man in his Oprah's responsible for cash me outside, which is good. You're crinkling, bro
[00:07:48] Here we got to switch Mike so that I can listen to it
[00:07:53] All right, well, did you suck my penis? Okay, beautiful day to be gay
[00:08:02] Cuz I'm a homosexual because I am very gay
[00:08:08] All right, so what's up dude Trump's going to fucking
[00:08:11] Cohen sang like a little bird we gonna talk about that
[00:08:14] Yeah, I don't know shout out to Manafort. He didn't snitch
[00:08:32] Lounge she's yeah once you go see magic shows
[00:08:35] Yeah, yeah, that's pretty cool. Yeah, we're on quailudes. I'm gonna take my wife to go see the amazing John
[00:08:43] Was he the one that like did some shit with crimey area whatever the fuck yeah, was that someone else?
[00:08:49] Yeah, it was and Bernie Sanders Tyler Perry's crime is
[00:08:57] Yeah, but it's cool that he laundered all that money through expensive clothing
[00:09:02] It's like it's like a Tyler Perry's a black man instead of like a white guy that made his career off dressing up like a fat black
[00:09:21] And another thing I like to do is dress up like a big fat black
[00:09:28] If you came tonight expecting fire and rain, I do apologize. I'll be doing
[00:09:37] Medea Medea goes the plot is diary of a mad black woman
[00:09:42] Was it there was a rain is I don't know what James Taylor sounds. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know
[00:09:47] I've seen fire. I've seen rain. I've seen rain. Is he fat? No, no, he's bald. I've seen men bend over and expose the rain
[00:10:04] And I always thought that I'd see you come in my
[00:10:10] That's good man, I know that song, but you don't know fire, right? No, I like those vibes. Yeah, no James. Hello. All right
[00:10:16] Nice dude. He's fine. Yeah, you know elders really it's when the singer the singer songwriter was king for a while
[00:10:25] Yeah, there's a while where how about the dinger dong rider hell yes like a guy that tells jokes
[00:10:30] But he also just sits on guys cocks. Okay, I like that
[00:10:36] Oh a singer star no no no I am a comedian, but I also am gay for pay
[00:10:41] Dinger dong rider. Mm-hmm. Why the dinger cuz you know that means dongers
[00:10:49] What about zinger dong rider dong rider? Yeah, there we go
[00:10:55] He and I just had an image in my head of a carousel
[00:10:58] What are those called merry-go-round, but it's you going up and down on a guy's cock. It's a carousel. Is that yeah?
[00:11:04] Oh, yeah, he's got a mirror. He's just looking over shoulder
[00:11:24] My mind don't care that's just Georgia is that didn't steal Ray Charles on that's Georgia
[00:11:30] Georgia yeah, yeah, what the fuck he just picked a different state and stole the song well
[00:11:35] It's too. Stay who was first. There's a north in the south. Yeah, but so he was first. He's got Ray there
[00:11:41] Who did it first? That's two states. I would imagine I'd about Jim Croci's
[00:11:46] Medea that's another white guy. Yeah, you know that
[00:11:54] Bad is made in the whole damn town. Okay, you know that's all yeah
[00:11:59] Yeah, it was like it's one song that he died. Oh shit. No, no, no, he had a operator
[00:12:08] I really the number on the match book is oh, I don't think I know this song's a really really good story Jim
[00:12:13] Croci's songs used to tell stories. They did man. You want it is
[00:12:18] Look, I love that guy dude. That's a mischievous ass man
[00:12:24] About how he's trying to call his ex and the only she's out in California fucking some guy
[00:12:30] Damn and the only contact he has for is on this matchbook
[00:12:35] And it but it's fate kind of looks like DeVito. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He looks like me
[00:12:44] Yeah, we gotta have DeVito and he's just trying to call her to tell her that he's fine. Okay, so he's clearly
[00:12:50] That's all areas. Yeah, I know my ex girlfriends getting dicked down
[00:12:58] In the TGI Friday the spread bun. Yeah, and it's a chilies to go
[00:13:04] Oh, no during takeoff. Oh, shouts out to a friend
[00:13:10] It usually happens within a minute of takeoff. What yes anytime the plane takes off
[00:13:15] I count out a minute in my head good for all mighty pray for sweet death
[00:13:19] I didn't know that you're gonna be anxious. Fuck unless you got old Sully Sullivan burger flying the plane
[00:13:25] Right, you think you could be a pilot if like course do you stand maybe with Denzel where he's doing like
[00:13:31] Coke and like yeah, but he's he's straightened off good latina closely
[00:13:35] That's that's what I would be there. I'd be
[00:13:37] No, I was drinking for like 15 hours between flights. Yeah, there's just do a couple bumps before my flight
[00:13:43] Yeah, that's the straight. I could do this. I could do this actually when you're in the air. It's mostly automated, right?
[00:13:48] Yeah, you basically only have to take off and let Muslims can be pilots
[00:13:58] I love those guys. They're like it's not racing. I'm all I found the black guy who did something wrong
[00:14:08] Google alert for justified black crimes
[00:14:24] You know you just gotta be it's gotta make sense. I mean they are dusty. It's a sandy place sure Africa in the Middle East
[00:14:32] Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean dirt. I guess yeah dirt. That's a
[00:14:36] I'm moving to Morocco. I'm gonna sit in the cafe about dates. Have you ever been to Morocco?
[00:14:42] It looks really nice. I kind of want to go on vacation. Should we go to Morocco? Yeah, do you get a little bit?
[00:14:47] Or Feds. Yeah. Yeah, what kind of food they got over there dates?
[00:14:53] Great food tajin. Have you ever had that before that chicken stew kind of shit? Is it like Indian food?
[00:14:58] Oh, no, it's like I don't have alcohol. So the food's got to be balling. They don't have alcohol. No
[00:15:03] It's a Muslim country. No, no, you could probably drink it like resorts and stuff. Yeah, Muslims don't drink
[00:15:14] Why do we have we've been recording at yours and we brought no according to yours?
[00:15:18] This has been a problem before why didn't we buy another one?
[00:15:20] This is our first episode back at mine since that's true. It feels good to be out of my home
[00:15:24] I'm gonna kill myself dude. We're slightly unprepared. We're sorry about myself, too
[00:15:30] Coming to an end. I can't wait for fall dude falls the best in New York winter is the goddamn best
[00:15:35] I love the way it just fucking falls the best freezes off the pussies of this city like warts
[00:15:43] Back back to your shitty home in fucking Florida when I first moved my first winter here was horrific
[00:15:49] I was just I stayed in my apartment and just watched I was in China town in those apartments with no heat
[00:15:54] What I could see my breath. Yeah, I remember just being like this what do you actually enjoy?
[00:16:18] Yeah, dude, it feels good to be out of my apartment my foot hurts a little bit
[00:16:21] I gotta go to my doctor and know how much exactly I can get out and about but I
[00:16:26] Can't stay in that fucking apartment. I'm gonna kill myself, dude. Yeah. Yeah, you gotta get out dude
[00:16:30] You gotta keep doing mushrooms experience the world. I
[00:16:34] Last time I took mushrooms. I just like it wasn't even fun
[00:16:36] I just sat on my porch and thought about how sad I was gonna be with my mom died
[00:16:40] It was not a good trip mushrooms are too emotional. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna do acid maybe I just laugh about busting
[00:16:46] I'm gonna ask it bust rooms. I like that you just come straight up for like six hours
[00:16:52] I was laughing about the chief busters of the Supreme Court
[00:16:58] They have a little cup under their desk after Roberts
[00:17:06] Disappears into the road like a turtle. Yeah, the rope just is being knocked out to the sides like two cartoons
[00:17:19] Sucking his own dick in this scenario. Okay, nice under there like an 1800s photographer
[00:17:24] Oh, yeah, who else we got slobberts we got
[00:17:50] It's cool. We just have a black eye named Clarence on the Supreme Court. Mm-hmm clearance
[00:17:57] See what it's clear Thomas do he put like his pubes on a coke can or something
[00:18:02] Did he actually no he did he put his pube somewhere. Yeah, yeah on
[00:18:12] I feel like yeah, it's this big move we get the fair man
[00:18:16] Me too'd also buy a new to Hill. He's just taking down all the white guys. He's bulletproof
[00:18:22] I mean the Supreme Court should be judge masses judge
[00:18:34] I am the law Judge Alex ruled though. Yeah, he was the most chill of all the judges
[00:18:39] He was like 27 years old. Yeah, he was how to get all those degrees. He was strong
[00:18:45] He was like the doogie hazard of being a cop. Yeah, Alex 13 year old house was Jack dude. Was it yeah?
[00:18:51] Yeah, I don't know. It was a good looking man. You know people's court. It was just called
[00:18:55] Alex fucking idiot. I just do a bit about it. There was a show called Texas justice, which is small claims
[00:19:05] Damn should we are we do for a new judge show
[00:19:08] Should we revitalize the medium? I mean that was all network television was for like 10 years
[00:19:15] Have you guys watched daytime TV anytime soon? I haven't know cuz they changed all the channels when they went to that those digital
[00:19:21] Antennas, there's now all these like upstart channels that are like laugh dot IO
[00:19:30] It's all like little house on the prairie in like 1970s late night talks. Yeah, it's fucking
[00:19:44] Good to me we watch Richard Pryor on Carson. Yes on one of those channels when we're at your mills. That's right
[00:19:53] Well, just kind of weird meandering like straight late night talk shows in the set like it's so funny
[00:19:58] I'd be like this was he was the king of late night. It was just like an okay show
[00:20:02] Like it wasn't really like there weren't that many jokes. It was like a conversation. Yeah, yeah
[00:20:06] It was fun to watch but it was like damn. Yeah, the things people respect are bullshit
[00:20:10] Yeah, yeah, like the first season of SNL could almost bet that if something's good. It's probably bad
[00:20:16] That's true. I guess where you can place that bad
[00:20:18] Oh, I'm not that the side. Oh, yeah number one the bit greatest
[00:20:27] Scientifically the number one literally betting
[00:20:32] Reviews no one has ever had a bad experience
[00:20:35] I bet the SI guy that did find him fucking up kill him. He's probably liar probably rape children
[00:20:41] I don't want him a different bet site. Yeah, exactly so you can't trust that guy
[00:20:47] But you can trust us when you say the bet the SI dot com has been a business over 20 years paying out winners
[00:20:51] They got an easy to use mobile app. Mm-hmm. You know, which means you can use it on your fucking phone
[00:20:57] Yeah, we phone up place some goddamn bets, you know, you're stuck on the train somebody killed themselves on the six
[00:21:03] Car's ahead. You got a you got time to kill you down the tunnels bet. Do some mom gonna miss him
[00:21:08] Let's place bets. What's who's you know?
[00:21:14] Watching his hands washing his hands. Yeah, she doing that does America have talent. No, no
[00:21:20] The N word on America's got talent. Yeah. Yeah, if you do it in a funny voice with a ventriloquist that guy went bad on it
[00:21:28] Thousand languages they offer live in-game wagering which means you can change your mind. I love changing my mind
[00:21:33] I do it every day. It's dance, you know, I voted for Donald Trump two weeks later pretend I didn't
[00:21:39] I attended that's I was going around on a day when I'm on a date pretend I didn't of course a girl asked me
[00:21:46] Right, I was a woman says are you wearing a condom and you say yes, and then when she looks down you live in game
[00:21:53] You used a razor blade to cut little slices into your dick to bleed into her pussy
[00:21:58] She goes what is that? I'm like it's called live in game
[00:22:01] Wow, that's real. Yeah, and I've carved bed dsi into the head of my car
[00:22:09] Does this get the blood all the way into the back of her pussy? Mm-hmm where she is sure to contract the love virus a k HIV?
[00:22:16] Uh-huh, so don't believe the convenient
[00:22:20] Yeah, having HIV just means you fucked. Yeah, so true. I'm sorry that it means I party
[00:22:26] That's what you're mad at me for party having a good time. Oh
[00:22:32] What I have to leave Boston market because I'm getting paper cuts over the buffet
[00:22:39] Anyways, so yeah bet the aside the game wager. We got any pics coming up. There's really nothing going on so far
[00:22:48] I guess the WNBA play a premier league is back and you know what?
[00:22:53] Take Manchester City to win it all this minute. Let the links. I feel like they're always good or the
[00:23:02] Links. Yeah, they got those are my pick. They got some big bitches
[00:23:18] The money way if you were for a segregated basketball league go to bet the aside now promo code come
[00:23:26] 120 yeah come 125 come on to get a free 125 dollar
[00:23:35] 125 bonus on top of your deposit damn if you change the promo code because people were winning too much money bitch
[00:23:41] We put too many you motherfucker through college with our fucking promo code by fucking your mom
[00:23:47] And yeah, it's right hush money. Yeah, give it. I just love that insult. Yeah, I'm putting you through college 50 cents at a time
[00:23:55] That was a good one though. Yeah, and it's like man mom. I do not need to go to college
[00:24:04] I'm not gonna accomplish anything. Yeah, I'm stop fucking people for 50 for God's sakes. You have a master's
[00:24:10] Yeah, charge $10 minimum your chemical engineer
[00:24:20] Who is the Jack Mossy but basketball ass, huh the Jackie like the first black guy
[00:24:26] I don't know that must have been mind-blowing like all those like short short like white guys
[00:24:35] Completely wrecking everyone that should have been so
[00:24:38] Disappoint but that just goes to show you how quickly they let black people like it's not like Jackie Robinson
[00:24:43] Where it took a while I was like the moment a black guy played they're like oh, yeah
[00:24:53] We don't even know the guy's name by the time you but like at halftime
[00:24:56] They had signed three other black players after the first black player played in the NBA that is funny
[00:25:03] It's statistically there's no argument about it right because it's got to be a measure of something
[00:25:10] Yeah, for sure. It's a very it's like a specific kind of like
[00:25:14] Spatial and tell like just athletic and like spatial intelligence like LeBron's a fucking genius like he just under like
[00:25:20] The best basketball players to just have a special kind of like intelligence. Yeah. Yeah, it's so funny
[00:25:26] It's just like that's the kind of thing races just have quit on you. You'll never hear
[00:25:30] No, I think a lot of race realists like accept that and then they use it to like fuel other arguments
[00:25:35] They're like clearly black people are like better at sports because they have like a different set of like advantages. Yeah
[00:25:42] But there was a little bit of a criminal
[00:25:46] Putting them in cages to play sports for
[00:25:51] Yeah, that's probably that is probably their stance. I mean of course it is like that's obviously the argument that you would fucking make
[00:26:02] But anyway, I don't have Chinese getting mad at
[00:26:07] Affirmative action. Uh-huh did they in what sense? Well, it's because it I mean Chinese would naturally take over all the schools
[00:26:14] Yeah, because oh they see the college's what I got what they call a celestial brain
[00:26:22] Better numbers because it's dealing with the gravity of the planets and the line with the stars
[00:26:28] Mm-hmm numbers just come come down into their head but divine right. It's a mandate from heaven that they should solve these math problems
[00:26:35] I thought I read something somewhere where it's like they do teach Chinese people a different method of mathematics
[00:26:43] Early on it could be I mean I have no fucking idea like a different kind of way
[00:26:48] Multiply like the construction of their language might lend. Yeah, something like the mathematical thinking. Yeah, but I have no idea
[00:26:55] I mean, I think I think the reason yeah, they just work harder because it like a Chinese parent will beat the fuck
[00:27:04] Learn Suzuki. I mean, they're not even allowed to wear shoes in the fucking house. I know you know which I was thinking about
[00:27:10] We should probably take our shoes off when we go into our house. No, you go mud room
[00:27:14] No mud room. You want mud room. That's like a midwest thing, right? Yeah, you have a room with no
[00:27:22] Think about buying a bunch of acreage upstate nice. That'll be cool
[00:27:25] This house is a mud room because they got trails. That's pretty tight. You got a little room where you take your fucking okay
[00:27:30] I'm willing to accept the mud room. Yeah. Yeah, I just feel like shoes are dirty as fuck. They're out on the street
[00:27:36] I shouldn't it shouldn't be in my bedroom. You know, that's a place for lovemaking
[00:27:40] Beautiful lovemaking glovemaking, you know, you really end up being a glove
[00:27:53] It's evolved from fucking to just taking regular things and make them in the fucking just say another word
[00:28:01] But one two punch puts trump back on his heels. How about a one two punch puts trump back on his deals?
[00:28:06] Mm-hmm. It's about the book art of deals. No, we back after these messages
[00:28:11] Just come down next year is 400 live reads
[00:28:17] That'd be kind of fun. Just as I read one headline. I'm like, ooh pleading guilty Cohen implicates president. Um, how about
[00:28:28] Wilty will his dick will go off king go off Cohen instead of Michael Cohen. It's Michael Cohen brothers
[00:28:38] There we go inside. Do they do inside luen? David? Yes. Okay inside luens asshole. I'm gonna inside out luen Davis
[00:28:45] And it's about feelings. We'll be back after
[00:28:51] We'll be back after these messages. That's good. We should do that every five minutes. You need CBD oil to make your dick bigger
[00:29:01] The CBD oil it's a it's a crock, right? I feel a little chilled out when I take it
[00:29:07] But that's like placebo. Yeah, it's placebo dude
[00:29:09] Because CBD oil does not work if you've been smoking weed your entire life
[00:29:15] We'd already has a shit ton of CBD oil interesting
[00:29:18] So if you just if you're like you've never smoked before maybe it'll have some effect but if
[00:29:23] You know really well, I've never taken to me
[00:29:26] Yeah, I was taking it when I was like getting wound up a couple weeks ago and like it wasn't I wasn't able to control it
[00:29:32] I was like smoking a lot of CBD oil and it did nothing really did absolutely fucking nothing
[00:29:37] I swear to god. I feel a little buzz, but maybe it's just all psycho submatic
[00:29:41] Yeah, maybe she gave it to my mom then she's never had weed
[00:29:45] My mom came out to the show in Baltimore by the way
[00:29:48] She loved it. Yeah, she loved it. I even did a joke about doing cocaine and then I was like mom
[00:29:52] I swear I'm not doing anymore, which I'm not she was laughing. Yeah, she was having a good time
[00:29:57] Does she understand all of it? Yeah, my mom speaks good English man
[00:30:01] I wish my parents didn't speak English then I could truly be free my dad doesn't speak English
[00:30:05] But I don't really speak to him anymore. So he can suck my fucking dick
[00:30:10] But yeah, we had a beautiful time out and be more uh-huh my little brother self-soults and paintings
[00:30:16] um shots out there when they came out to be more we never told the story of uh
[00:30:24] That fucking rule. Yeah, I bet you couldn't tell I got my my hair done because I'm a grandma now
[00:30:30] She was like owning me. Yeah, she really was like you can just ask to sit down. Yeah
[00:30:35] So we went to a diner after the auto bar show which was a fucking
[00:30:39] In Greek town the classic the diner of my youth the boulevard diner over on eastern avenue
[00:30:47] Dondock trash ass like just lived up to the hype hype waitress
[00:30:53] She got corn she got corn rose to celebrate the birth of her granddoll. She's like 41 years old by the way
[00:31:00] She eats cigarette, and she was like she was like yeah, um
[00:31:05] So, uh, you know my co-worker. She's a Mexican woman. You know, she's from Honduras
[00:31:09] She's like that is two different countries. She's a Mexican woman. You know, she's from Honduras
[00:31:16] She took one look at it. She sent that a black girl to that and I was like come on don't come at me with this race stuff
[00:31:21] Yeah, yeah, yeah, she could tell I was playing in the room
[00:31:25] She could tell our face right if we like laughed immediately. Yeah, yeah, yeah
[00:31:30] You know when I work with she's Mexican. She was expecting us to be like damn
[00:31:39] Mesicans I was also wearing that t-shirt with my face on it
[00:31:42] And it's an rip and I went over to the wah-wah next door and there was a man named stavras working there
[00:31:48] Just this gay Baltimore guy working the night shift at wah-wah. Yeah, he's like he's like is that a relative of yours that died?
[00:31:58] I'm shocked that there was another stavros there though, man. Yeah, stavras
[00:32:04] Hotel downtown. I can't remember which one was uh-huh hired or something in Baltimore. Yeah, yeah, harbor probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and the guy
[00:32:12] Is clearly just has never had another gay friend. He's like not he's not in the community
[00:32:17] Not connected to the gay community in their way. Yeah, he's just a gay guy like a gay free agent
[00:32:23] Loose the suit that doesn't fit at all. I mean and he looks like he manages like a national tire and battery
[00:32:30] Hell, yeah, you know, just shitty fucking hand-kill haircut
[00:32:34] And he's like well, we're all out of the king size bedrooms, but we do have a double queen
[00:32:46] It is funny to just see the like yeah the gay guys that have no connection. They don't know how to be gay
[00:32:51] Yeah, yeah, they don't know like the right way to yeah, they got the they got one part down a real good
[00:32:56] You know, they can figure that part out. Well, maybe he doesn't even know he's gay
[00:33:02] I have a friend who I grew up with who like just lives with his like old elderly ass grandparents like sneaks men in and gets fucked in the ass
[00:33:16] And uh the their his grandmother confronted his brother about it and he was like, I know what kind of I know what he is
[00:33:24] Which by the way, just a little another slice of greek town
[00:33:29] Uh when I bought the house when I signed the papers my neighbor just like popped in
[00:33:34] And he he was a you he bought in to warn me that my other neighbor was gay
[00:33:44] That's why the property value is yeah. Yeah, so agreeable
[00:33:48] Uh and he was like and he's like good guy though, but you know
[00:33:50] Just so you know, just watch your back next door. Do you have one? Yeah?
[00:33:56] Damn, I love being a damn homeowner. I bought a big ass fucking fluffy ass couch. That was a comfy couch, wasn't it?
[00:34:02] Yeah, sort of it kept separating underneath my ass
[00:34:04] Yeah, we have that there was a latch that we didn't do we figured that out after you left
[00:34:09] I hate that when you're a sectional separates. Yeah, it's the fuck on one and it would always separate
[00:34:14] You know, what'd you do about it? You just have to move you got to nail that together or something
[00:34:19] I don't know. Yeah, we got the little latch going. I don't plan to fuck on that couch
[00:34:23] I plan to fucking my bed, but it's very comfy and I bought a 70 inch television
[00:34:27] It's gonna be funny when you can't fuck anymore from
[00:34:30] Destroying your body. I will I will always be able to fuck dude. Yeah, I will find a way
[00:34:39] I'm just fingerbombing like uh like in Patrice's last special he talks about how he doesn't how he just like puts his chin in his
[00:34:45] Whirl girls pussy and like he's around while she likes like plays with his nipples and it's like hey, man
[00:34:50] If that's where I'm at a 40, that's fine, but I'm gonna be fucking believe me
[00:34:54] Yeah, so ladies. I'll always find a way to pleasure you romantically. Yeah, if you're so inclined as to come
[00:35:01] I'm gonna get into my little nuts to heroin and then just
[00:35:04] No, don't do that. Yeah, that's what that's the plan. No, you're planning on fucking but uh
[00:35:11] Yeah, okay, and then they'll be great girlfriends. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they'll be subservient. They'll just know, you know
[00:35:20] Yeah, I love getting people addicted to drugs
[00:35:27] That does sound pretty good. Yeah, that's the ultimate control. That's a good way to
[00:35:34] Weinstein accuser denies having sex with man accusing her of assault damn
[00:35:42] Yeah, yeah, she she completely denied it
[00:35:45] And she said that it was Anthony Bourdain the late Anthony Bourdain's idea to pay him off
[00:35:51] So not only what not only does she don't even have any dumplings right now. This motherfucker
[00:35:57] She threw a dead guy under the bus. Well, I didn't ever do it right. No, he wasn't Jewish. Are you sure?
[00:36:03] I don't think I mean, I'm pretty they probably sent him to hell just in case. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He definitely had enough Jewish friends definitely
[00:36:13] Some sort of what do you think heaven's like hell or something? We think heaven's like dude
[00:36:18] There's no such thing. There's good pussy. Yeah, it'd be great if she's lying about having sex with a kid
[00:36:27] No, he's a regento. Yeah, she did have sex and because there's pictures
[00:36:30] There's pictures of them in bed after not of her legs. What sucking his dick. They're in bed
[00:36:37] There's a picture of them allegedly in the hotel room afterwards. Yeah, wow taking a selfie
[00:36:43] After like I think they were shirtless and better. Yeah, I mean the times
[00:36:48] Shit without verifying it. Can you see your titties in that? I don't know anymore. Yeah, the failing New York times. I don't know go off king
[00:36:55] Do some fucking criticism do some I read the fucking worst op-ed in the times last night before I went to bed
[00:37:02] Uh that was that guy frank bruney. I don't know and it was like uh
[00:37:07] Melania trump has the opportunity to be the greatest first. Yeah, the greatest first lady of all time
[00:37:13] Immediately checked out on that one. I read the whole thing. It was the last paragraph was he's like saying
[00:37:19] Yeah, it's because like she's like a cold bitch
[00:37:22] Yeah, it's like who gives a shit. Melania's clearly been owning trump
[00:37:27] Side-eye Trump. It's just like fucking liberal fantasy nonsense where well, mulani's a good person
[00:37:33] Well, you know, they did the same thing
[00:37:41] Beautiful love right. Yeah, they just love the idea of like the drama and sexual tension between like the first lady and the president or whatever
[00:37:49] Yeah, I still think people don't fuck in their personal right right?
[00:37:53] You know Eleanor rosvelle was just given the pussy up the f r
[00:38:00] Barak with cum dripping out of her open pussy as you whispers in her here my turn. Oh, yeah, the my turn thing
[00:38:07] That was fucking sweet brutal. Yeah, that's amazing. That was one of the worst
[00:38:14] I want to throw up just imagine just fetishizing the president
[00:38:18] Fucking his wife and his wife fucking but the act of it happening inside the skull of some fucking limp russian
[00:38:25] Shithead baby boom losing some woman has never come it hasn't come at all god. Damn it
[00:38:30] Yeah, that care bears woman. You know that just getting baraf are taking her that an area for like 10 years
[00:38:41] He was like this is our resistance Michelle
[00:38:43] This is us resisting trump. I will say I would watch them have sex
[00:38:49] They're good looking couple for their age watch anybody have sex. That's not true
[00:38:56] I like melania because I think she's a bad person. I don't want to watch melania in tron
[00:38:59] I think she's hot. I think she's like she looks good and she's a bad person
[00:39:04] She's about that money. She came over from eastern europe. She married some fat loser
[00:39:08] Yep, he accidentally became the president good for her get paid girl. Mm-hmm
[00:39:14] Why does it have to be anything more than that that the president's wife is a whore?
[00:39:17] She's a badter. Yeah, who cares? I don't care. Yeah, there's so much other shit going on for people to fixate on that
[00:39:24] It's finally that it finally a first lady with some class. Yeah, but the last paragraph of that like uh melania trump thing was like
[00:39:32] Melania go and visit le brawn james's school
[00:39:35] Go have mimosas with angela merkel. Oh go have a pajama party with hilly re clinton
[00:39:43] What the it's like why is this being printed? Yeah?
[00:39:47] This is a fever dream. Yeah, this is a like from from a demented person insane asylum. Yeah
[00:39:57] Mollan joker if you go suck off a pod also just vice article what if that one just lesbians with pussy blood
[00:40:04] Oh, yeah, that was brutal like this is uh, this is actually a statement about it's like no having sex on your period fucking literally
[00:40:11] Nothing. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, well people are brave people are disgusted by women's bodies or whatever and it's like
[00:40:18] They aren't but they should be if it's being you know a woman with period blood clown makeup
[00:40:25] A newspaper. Yeah, anyways, but having said that we will still fuck if you're on your period
[00:40:30] You know what those women do they need to put some underwear on exactly
[00:40:34] Stop up that pussy blood with the finest
[00:40:45] Oh, yeah, no one website for pussy blood for pussy runs sponge up for men's underwear and lesbian
[00:40:52] Look dude the man's underwear has got to hold your cock while it's sweating all over yourself
[00:40:57] So true when you're watching the new red dead redemption trail. Mm-hmm. That cocks way
[00:41:02] Absolutely, dude. I can't wait to tie up those bitches and fucking throw them on the train tracks
[00:41:08] Baby scalps some fucking yeah scalps them in here. I read for red dead
[00:41:14] Macwolden calm so smart design premium fabrics
[00:41:21] Done it myself. It's super easy folks. I got a gift card for my cousin for his birthday
[00:41:26] Mm-hmm didn't have talked to him for six months perfect
[00:41:29] Bing bang boom. Mm-hmm got it done at macwolden calm. They got the great
[00:41:35] Crew necks fucking all kinds of shit all kinds of shit you fucking idiots
[00:41:38] You know if you were like one of the like a like a rich white guy or one of those cool black guys
[00:41:43] You can wear their clothes. Mm-hmm. You know maybe a Chinese probably yeah, I would say definitely a Chinese
[00:41:50] Most Indians can lose our sponsors. Yeah macwolden they do allow Indians
[00:42:01] Macwolden you know the what you're now featuring an Indians allowed website
[00:42:06] And if you're thinking Native American think the opposite if you're thinking South Asian think the opposite
[00:42:10] Yeah, you're the racist. They've got a big banner on their website now. It says now dot and feather
[00:42:22] That's right and listen you get listen one of the fucking pairs is too drenched in pussy blood and you don't really like it
[00:42:29] Yeah, it's got silver eye on silver lot the silver line and guess what you can keep it and they'll be fucking fun
[00:42:36] You're messing up the read here dude. We're kind of on point
[00:42:39] I was saying stuff that they like about Indian people. Yeah, I'm saying they wanted him to say that
[00:42:46] You know, I don't have the ability to think on my feet. Yeah, no, not so calculated shows
[00:42:52] Is is improv. Yeah, no actually hours at home crafting practicing your rants every practicing my rants in the mirror
[00:43:01] You know completely dude. Yep. We rehearsed three hours before every time
[00:43:05] I just put my back to the right and I talked my head between my knees and I stared directly into my asshole
[00:43:13] And I say things like what if instead of Jim croche. It's Jim
[00:43:21] And then I just hoe Chi hoe Chi Minh Jim hoe Chi Minh
[00:43:30] You know what it wouldn't work if I was wearing macwolden underwear and their silver line
[00:43:33] That's right. And that's why I'm microbial underwear and shirts that suck all your stink off
[00:43:38] Yes, they don't have to wash them. I guess you never have to shower never after shower
[00:43:42] Never after wash your clothes and if you don't like them you can call them up and complain and they'll
[00:43:47] Refund you know, they'll give you your money back and you can keep the underwear
[00:43:51] They probably don't want them back as you if you've so much shit
[00:43:56] That makes sense that they wouldn't want the underwear back. Yeah, it seems like they're just being nice guys
[00:44:05] No, there's a certain type of guy that wants that job. There's a certain type of person that there's kind of a waiting
[00:44:11] We're pleased to announce Adam's new job
[00:44:17] Go to macwolden.com use promo code come town capital c um to wn those space all one word to receive
[00:44:27] You're 20 or 25% I can't remember for sure in that range
[00:44:33] But it's pretty significant because those underwear are hella expensive. Yep. Let me tell you phone. No, no, no stop
[00:44:40] Read over read over everyone. Please go to macwolden.com
[00:44:49] Now the reason we press they're the underwear of kings and shawhs
[00:44:52] That's right. You're used to just buying underwear dollar general. Yeah
[00:44:56] I used to get all my clothes at dollar general. I had a beer. It was just like yeah
[00:45:00] I wanted to use a bus shop at dollar general. I love that get pajama pants get fucking 35
[00:45:11] I used to get when I first moved I would get my underwear at the fucking there's like a discount store in queens
[00:45:15] We're all the like fucked up clothing. They just so no no it's called phallus phallus co yep
[00:45:21] Um, I don't remember what the fuck was d3 or some shit. Oh, yeah d3. Yeah. Yeah, or d2 d squared d square
[00:45:31] Anyway, and the underwear was just the ball like the cock section was so long
[00:45:36] It was just like yeah, they have that like green point. Yeah, it was so fucking low
[00:45:40] It looked like just fucking baggy ass fuck it. I don't know. Just like you were in a big-ass diaper basically great deals
[00:45:48] Where it's not as good as mackerel then um
[00:45:52] Do you guys I can't believe it took us so long to bring it up, but of course we got to talk about the vma's
[00:46:07] When did the vagina monomer? I was just gonna say that a couple of bitches on stage just a couple of like couple of who's yeah
[00:46:16] Mosh it is all retorted down. Yeah, I got my I got my fucking cunt rec
[00:46:23] I don't know if I stole it from somebody, but the Leno
[00:46:34] When did that start was it just like women? I think it was like a 90s thing that seems pretty
[00:46:40] You know when I first started right before I thought I did a joke about an all men's vagina monologues
[00:46:47] But uh, I think that joke has been maybe done 50,000 times maybe I don't know and I think it has been done also like a
[00:46:54] Gay men's hell yeah vagina monologue actually barred college or something. Yeah, yeah, I'm sure it's I'm sure it's happened
[00:47:02] Damn, I guess there's someone that never see pussies in their lives
[00:47:05] You know no those guys all like just like clothes. Well, maybe they don't see because their eyes are closed so hard
[00:47:11] But there are people that have never seen a puss like you know what I mean, they're straight men that I've never seen
[00:47:21] You know what we're talking about do you think there are gay guys that like sniff underwear that seems horrible
[00:47:26] Because I mean the ends under where straight straight guys would do that too
[00:47:30] But they sniff women's underwear because they want to I told you guys there was that Dan savage
[00:47:33] Uh call in that I heard one time where the guy was like Dan
[00:47:37] Uh, I was just wondering every time I go down on my boyfriend and I smell his asshole
[00:47:43] I get a little bit high from the shit smell
[00:47:47] And I just want to know is that like a thing you guys do that to get high
[00:47:52] My man just loves ass that much average is like no
[00:48:03] The mama just has a shit fetish probably
[00:48:05] Yeah, um you want to talk about a friend of the show the 95 year old nasi that just got deported
[00:48:19] Was like when like the cops will like murder like 15 black kids and then there's like a video
[00:48:24] Out of like, you know Hattiesburg look at this sergeant doing a nayna the nayna. Yeah with an infant black
[00:48:38] Did a gang sign at it to prove that officers are not
[00:48:42] Or even service his service weapon went off three times during the nayna
[00:48:45] But it had nothing to do even or even when like a white guy gets killed at a traffic stop
[00:48:50] And they're like yes one we do it to everybody
[00:48:56] Yeah, no, it was so funny nick and I were watching the video of
[00:48:59] Like the local news video of them like wheeling out that corpse of that nasi is like just clearly like five minutes away from dye
[00:49:10] Put some guy in the local news like you just hear about the in the background being like
[00:49:18] Fuck the Jews. No, if you're gonna do it go out speak
[00:49:21] Or could it like communicate or anything?
[00:49:23] But if I was him, I'd be throwing up middle fingers. I'd be hell
[00:49:26] I've been sitting high and you're getting deported anyway. Who cares?
[00:49:30] Go out like a fucking gee if that's what you know that guy clearly had no control of his bot
[00:49:35] Maybe he was in vegetable. Yeah, they're literally just like sending a great if they were really not he was like hell
[00:49:41] Yes, I did it and I do it again. I love the whole
[00:49:53] Look ain't no such things as halfway crutch
[00:49:58] Holocaust, baby. That's how queens do it. We just get live, baby
[00:50:03] Queens bridge in the motherfucking house
[00:50:09] He's grabbing the infamous black guys have to be like, man. He's right. He's right. Yeah
[00:50:16] You know, he's he's represented on the hall of cost, but
[00:50:27] That's like that as the last sign that queens has been gentrified is that they're getting rid of the
[00:50:34] Damn, I used to remember what the neighborhood was a safe
[00:50:37] Jew shop used to be a guy that poured boiling water on twins brains into cow
[00:50:48] Damn these hipsters are changed on neighborhood
[00:50:52] Goddamn it. It is hilarious that he ended up in queens
[00:50:55] It's pretty fucking yeah, it's like a pretty uh
[00:51:01] Queens is super diverse. Yeah, you got Nazis
[00:51:04] You got Nazis a lot of agistani a lot of hookahs
[00:51:09] Dominican and Arab style. Dominican's love hookah. Oh, yeah hookah
[00:51:14] Every everyone that's beige colored. I feel like loves hookahs. Mm. No matter where you're from, you know
[00:51:23] Drake still loves hookah. Yeah, he still takes hookah self. Yeah, that's pretty so embarrassed being beige dude. That's what it is
[00:51:30] Drake's got that's got who do you think's got the bet if he could be one guy? Drake's got a pretty good life
[00:51:35] Even after that gigantic L. He took like it's like literally 30 seconds later people were like oh, you know
[00:51:42] Yeah, no one gave a fuck about that. I know also like what was the big deal of that?
[00:51:47] Did he had a kid? I mean, it's pretty funny. Yeah, okay fun. He's lying about having a kid. Okay
[00:51:54] It's pretty funny. It's not like and now the kids gone like we haven't heard about it at all
[00:51:58] Drake had a secret child. He wasn't lying. He never said I don't have a kid. He just didn't say I have a kid
[00:52:03] Yeah, I guess whatever man. He got the fuck Rihanna even though he fucked it up
[00:52:08] That's a pretty cool the one that got away. There's no cooler the one that got away than Rihanna
[00:52:13] LeBron fucked real. Yeah, Rihanna loves LeBron
[00:52:16] Actually, you know LeBron's the best guy probably he's the coolest guy to be I don't understand how people have that got away situations
[00:52:23] Mm. What do you mean? Like, you know the people can get that in their head
[00:52:26] What the hell? Oh, yeah, it's a narcissistic like impulse to be like oh, yeah, I I could have had
[00:52:32] No, how you can't frame a thing where it's like oh, it didn't work out. Obviously for some reason
[00:52:36] Yeah, oh if I had just done this differently
[00:52:40] Yeah, yeah, I'm a definitely a regretting ass motherfucker
[00:52:43] I always I always think about what I think you're dead you're dead saying that girl
[00:52:56] Like you did to go to therapy because I feel bad
[00:53:01] Because he couldn't stop thinking about some woman from 30 years damn well, that's what it is
[00:53:06] Dude, you just you know, I think that's the whole thing
[00:53:08] It's it's also a marker of like a certain stage in your life where you're like thinking about your life in those terms
[00:53:14] Yeah, well, he said he's like, you know, he's like I was just having a midlife crisis. It's like 70 years. Yeah
[00:53:19] Yeah, you're having a right at the end of your life
[00:53:26] I don't know I think about you. I mean I feel like I've I always regret everything
[00:53:30] I've never I mean the only reason I don't have one that got away because I feel like I
[00:53:35] Well, yeah, I just fucked up every relationship
[00:53:38] Yeah, yeah, no, especially with the trash
[00:53:44] I can't get over that this disgusting. I believe how
[00:53:49] No, they've all been dying pieces. Thank you very much. Yeah, I'm the fat one in the
[00:53:54] No, I have like the opposite thing where it's like everyone I've dated as soon as I get like a year away
[00:53:59] I mean something most of the time. It's like just a month or so. Yeah, you get like a year out. It's like what the fuck? Oh, of course
[00:54:07] I guess I don't know. I'd like to be I feel like I'm finally mature enough to be like legitimate friends with exes
[00:54:13] There was one the first one I would like we would call each other after
[00:54:18] Every breakup, but then after a while I was like, you know within five minutes and talking to each other on the phone
[00:54:23] Like oh, yeah, I'm still friends with like almost everyone updated. We're like still I can't do that. Yeah, but uh
[00:54:30] Yeah, it's like I mean never would I like smash again? Yeah, I mean maybe smash but not like yeah never date date again
[00:54:38] Yeah, yeah, because it's like once you go through the breakup like all like that's really the most vulnerable part of a relationship
[00:54:46] It's like that's when people really see because that's you what you're worst, right? Right, right?
[00:54:50] For sure if somebody like breaks up. Oh, I hate that. I hate that someone is
[00:55:04] If they get over that and they they're like, yeah, you know people have flaws or whatever it's kind of like
[00:55:10] It's almost a better relationship to be like broken up with somebody than to even be with them
[00:55:15] I'm really scared that there are just some psycho emails. I've sent out dude. There is nothing
[00:55:21] There's a medic then that like and they're not going away. I mean, there is nothing more pathetic than that email after they've shot dancier
[00:55:32] Just wanting just wanting to know a couple things
[00:55:41] Like type them up in microsoft word and it's like wait 30 minutes read it back to yourself realize how
[00:55:46] Psycho yeah, and then delete it when I got fired from that job
[00:55:51] That I got at at vox. I was just drafting like psychotic like
[00:55:56] Manifestos and then like reading them and then like all right. I think the first paragraph needs to be sent to the
[00:56:03] Switch with the fourth paragraph. Oh, yeah, I would edit them and everything. Yeah, just psycho shit
[00:56:07] I said about half of them half of them. I I need a lot of them. Yeah, or probably in drafts
[00:56:11] I said the couple dudes. God. I want to kill myself. Yeah, they're so bear thing. They're so bad
[00:56:18] What is it was like we should read one of them? No, no, no, no, no, no, just die with me
[00:56:22] Give it a gist. I mean, this is always like this is why I'm the greatest guy you will ever date
[00:56:30] No, mine was always like mine was always like that but then at the end like but also maybe if like you want to get
[00:56:40] Let's give us a shot again. I can't stop remembering the good times
[00:56:49] Goddamn, it's just a fucking mediocre relationship. I know it wasn't just like smoke too much weed. Like I didn't really do much
[00:56:54] Yeah, yeah, you just sad as shit. I mean
[00:56:57] The lat like yeah, I remember the breakup
[00:57:00] It's tough when a breakup aligns with a horrible time in your life
[00:57:03] Sure. Like when I first moved to York going through a breakup was just like yeah, I mean
[00:57:07] I did the same thing. Yeah, it's like you just go crazy
[00:57:10] No, that's was when we met we were both gotten just
[00:57:13] Dumb shit. Yes, and it was like, you know wings and drinking
[00:57:18] Yeah, yeah, drug Nick drunk driving me to eat 40 wings at 2 a.m
[00:57:22] Dude, I remember googling who serves food and beer at 2 a.m
[00:57:27] Yeah, that's like the key foundation to a friendship
[00:57:30] Being a horrible moment. Yeah, horrible. I remember your lives that you shared you hit me up
[00:57:35] I was like going through a breakup when I moved here and you hit me up
[00:57:38] You're like yo come to the city get lunch. We got lunch and I was just ranting at you about it
[00:57:42] I was like just like losing my mind. I was not listening to you were like you were not listening
[00:57:46] Yeah, I was like he's clearly not listening, but I'm just like I'm ranting yeah, and then I go home and then
[00:57:51] Um a couple hours later you like upload on facebook and new Nicole article
[00:57:55] And it's like actually the people that dump the people are the real heroes
[00:58:04] Part of his brain was mining. Yeah, there was just like some straight part of his brain
[00:58:09] That was like well, you know, it's funny because it's like obviously you can have like empathy for people and they got broken up with but it's like
[00:58:15] The only kind of healthy emotional pain I think is like the end of like a relationship. Oh, yeah
[00:58:20] It's not like the grief that's attached with death. It's just something that didn't fucking work out right right? It's something everybody goes through
[00:58:27] And you personalize it when you're way. Yeah when you're out of it and you just witness someone else go through it
[00:58:32] I guess it's like I can be kind of envious sometimes because it's like
[00:58:37] Oh, it'd be nice to like to feel to feel that way
[00:58:40] Yeah, it would be justified instead of like you feel everything's going great. Right. I want to put a gun in my mouth
[00:58:46] Right. There's a reason to be depressed. Yeah, I know it's beyond that, but yeah, no, it's like
[00:58:51] It's it's sort of like palate clean. Yeah. Yeah, so you can kind of your life just sort of snakes around
[00:58:56] But you at that moment you feel like this is the worst any human being on earth has ever felt
[00:59:01] No, there's something like a couple about it even when I'm in it. Yeah. Yeah, you know, it's like
[00:59:05] Oh, yeah, this is like and then you realize everyone goes through it. It's not you're not special at all
[00:59:11] There's nothing there's nothing unique about what's going it adds like the right kind of like emotional depth to your life that it
[00:59:16] In a weird way. It's kind of like oh, this makes everything worth it. Yeah. Yeah
[00:59:21] Interesting and then you get out of it and then you're just bored and yeah
[00:59:27] Then you're like hmm what other woman's life will I be ruining?
[00:59:32] Then she was mine. They just waste six months. Yeah. Yeah, they don't care at all
[00:59:37] Yeah, it's probably pretty funny. That's always probably look back like
[00:59:43] One that got away from somebody that she actually likes and then they like laugh and bet about like how fat you were and well, you know, I don't know
[00:59:50] That shit you're dick. Yeah, I was yeah, you know, I always persevere like what a loser. I don't know what I was thinking
[00:59:59] No women I've dated have done that no absolutely not
[01:00:04] Look at this gay instagram account. He's got going
[01:00:10] You're both gay and both they actually it's yours your ex-girlfriends do that about you actually
[01:00:17] Friends and bet with somebody and they're like yeah, and he had this like just disgusting no not his friend
[01:00:25] It was weird because I almost felt like I was fucking him
[01:00:44] All right, well, that's a podcast for today. Is that it? Yep. Oh, let's plug some shit. Um, please guys
[01:00:48] So we're adding a show in boston. We're adding a 6 p.m
[01:00:52] Adding a 6 p.m. Stand up show and if that sells out to we might even add a late show so
[01:00:58] On so please come see us cleveland that has not sold out yet
[01:01:02] Please sell that motherfucker out cleveland on the second and on the third. We were in boston
[01:01:09] And a p.m. Stand up show and an a p.m. Live pod and we might add a late one if those sell out too
[01:01:13] um, I will be in cleaver in canadicate at the fairfield comedy club on
[01:01:17] Friday the seventh of september oh and tomorrow the 23rd. I'm in dc
[01:01:24] Uh the overachiever show at the comedy loft. Uh, please buy tickets to that
[01:01:29] Uh, if you miss me melodm v dates funny mom's on the 27 funny mom's on the 27th
[01:01:33] Please come out to that and then i'm also in new orleans
[01:01:36] Uh in la fayette on the 14th and 15th and chicago the 21st and 22nd guys, please keep buying tickets to those
[01:01:43] We're adding a third show in chicago. I'd like to add a fourth one and really sell the motherfucker. We're doing linkin loves
[01:01:48] Linkin lodge up or no, no, no, yes linkin lodge and then on the 23rd
[01:01:52] I'm in detroit at something called ant hill or some bullshit. I don't know just check it out
[01:02:00] Thank you very much. So, uh, yeah come out to see us at all those dates
[01:02:04] But more importantly right now like I said cleveland on the second boston on the third the cleveland boston tour
[01:02:09] Uh, all right. That should do it for us gang