[00:00:00] Alrighty, guess we should do this fucking shit.

[00:00:04] Ooh, ooh!

[00:00:05] Here we are having sex.

[00:00:09] Where are we going?

[00:00:13] Did you hit play?

[00:00:15] Yeah, I hit record.

[00:00:17] Nice.

[00:00:18] Let's do it.

[00:00:20] Hello everyone, we're Guy.

[00:00:22] We haven't Guy 6.

[00:00:24] We're here in Sydney, New South Wales.

[00:00:27] Mmhmm.

[00:00:32] Stop telling people, what do you think of the news?

[00:00:36] Yeah, I do think this show is important.

[00:00:39] Hello, I'm Walter Gay.

[00:00:42] Man, stop, just did a bad show that Adam was too much of a coward to do because he was crying.

[00:00:47] What are you talking about?

[00:00:48] But the Dodger's blowing it.

[00:00:51] Yeah, you were fucking in your key-gay Hernandez jersey.

[00:00:54] He's like, this is just rock the Holocaust.

[00:00:58] He's just like the Holocaust.

[00:01:02] He didn't say it was just like the Holocaust.

[00:01:04] But the world series is like the Holocaust today and then I went to Baskin Robbins and they were out of the oatmeal raisin cookie and I said, this is just like the Holocaust.

[00:01:11] He said, where's the Holocaust?

[00:01:12] And then I went out to the vlogging lot and I'd lock my keys in the car and I said, this is just like the Holocaust.

[00:01:17] And then one of my shoes was on time and I said, this is just like the Holocaust.

[00:01:23] Those things could have very feasibly, very like in the Holocaust.

[00:01:28] It could have happened.

[00:01:29] How many people in your family got got?

[00:01:33] My mom's dad lost like all of his.

[00:01:38] It's like that soap that kills 99.9% of bacteria.

[00:01:42] You're like, but don't wash your hands because the point 1% of leaves.

[00:01:47] And you're talking about Jewish people.

[00:01:53] You're family.

[00:01:55] I'm not semi.

[00:01:56] I just don't like you.

[00:01:57] You're just my family.

[00:01:58] All right.

[00:01:59] I think the Holocaust was a fucking atrocity, dude.

[00:02:01] It's real and it's like one of the most depressing things.

[00:02:03] As long as you're not painting a broad history, but if your family was in there.

[00:02:07] Well, I guess it's not all.

[00:02:10] I guess it's not the last one you got out to produce me.

[00:02:14] The silver linings playbook that's the silver line.

[00:02:17] The Holocaust was good.

[00:02:18] Yep.

[00:02:19] I don't think it was a different question.

[00:02:21] You're going to launch this character.

[00:02:22] Did you actually look in the playbook?

[00:02:24] Because that's the first page is the board about all the good things Hitler did.

[00:02:28] Yeah, Robert DeNiro.

[00:02:30] Yes, it was.

[00:02:31] Robert DeNiro loved Hitler.

[00:02:33] The Philadelphia Eagles.

[00:02:35] Exactly Cooper.

[00:02:36] He's like the mental illness is kind of a face impression.

[00:02:40] So it's not really going to come across.

[00:02:42] He's doing DeNiro DeNiro.

[00:02:44] The classic frown.

[00:02:46] I didn't even look at you.

[00:02:48] I'm doing the face.

[00:02:49] You guys know the face I'm doing.

[00:02:50] The frown.

[00:02:51] Oh, come on.

[00:02:52] You know, the fucking Jews.

[00:02:55] It looks more like Silvio from the Soprano.

[00:02:58] Sil.

[00:02:59] Sil.

[00:03:00] Sil does not very nice frown.

[00:03:02] Iconic frown.

[00:03:03] I told him I was gay.

[00:03:05] He fucked me in my ass.

[00:03:07] Don't.

[00:03:08] Don't.

[00:03:09] Don't.

[00:03:10] I told the guy I was gay.

[00:03:11] You filled my ass with cum.

[00:03:12] You know, what are you going to do?

[00:03:13] Fuck my ass until I, until I came.

[00:03:16] Town.

[00:03:17] I'm fucking gay.

[00:03:19] Two.

[00:03:20] Town.

[00:03:21] Town.

[00:03:22] There was a guy.

[00:03:23] Fuck my ass.

[00:03:25] You were but these guys fuck you.

[00:03:27] I'm trying to do Paulie.

[00:03:29] You let him.

[00:03:30] I was the gayest guy in the Army.

[00:03:32] Yeah.

[00:03:33] I was the gayest guy in the Army.

[00:03:34] You should have seen me.

[00:03:35] I was the gayest guy in the Army.

[00:03:36] Wait, no, no, no.

[00:03:37] What's the actual line where he talks about the guy taking pictures of him?

[00:03:39] He was like, he was half a fan.

[00:03:41] Pull up contest.

[00:03:42] Yeah.

[00:03:43] Yeah.

[00:03:44] Yeah.

[00:03:45] I told you, you hear what I said?

[00:03:46] I said, do you remember your first blow job?

[00:03:48] I said, what was the guy's name?

[00:03:50] Adam Self, what's his name the other day?

[00:03:53] I did.

[00:03:54] I did.

[00:03:55] I'm so mad that didn't happen on the podcast.

[00:03:57] Listen, guys, I'm constantly creating gold.

[00:03:59] I'm you.

[00:04:00] I'm so poor.

[00:04:01] I'm your muse.

[00:04:02] You're suck dickle and tin skin.

[00:04:04] What's that?

[00:04:05] Rumpel's dill skin, but you suck dickle imp skin.

[00:04:13] Yeah, whatever he says where you are.

[00:04:15] Yeah, I am sucked dickle.

[00:04:16] I agree with that.

[00:04:17] No, like Rumpel's dill skin.

[00:04:20] I am sufficiently owned.

[00:04:22] Anyway, so it's great to be a Sydney thing.

[00:04:24] No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[00:04:26] We're going to talk about how you self what's his name for a second.

[00:04:29] Okay, we were talking about Alvin and the Chimp us.

[00:04:31] You will not be doing it.

[00:04:32] Why?

[00:04:33] We will be talking about you will not try to.

[00:04:34] You will not try to control the narrative, bro.

[00:04:38] No, you're going to destroy the narrative.

[00:04:40] You always do.

[00:04:41] You always be in charge of the Holocaust Museum.

[00:04:42] All right.

[00:04:43] It's like you got owned.

[00:04:44] I don't think you get to tell the story.

[00:04:46] We got to be run by Germans.

[00:04:51] Yeah, dude.

[00:04:52] They were the ones that don't.

[00:04:55] You trusted you to be like, oh, yeah.

[00:04:57] Okay, we got burned, but here's how it happened.

[00:04:59] Yeah, it's funny.

[00:05:00] There's probably 30 million that died.

[00:05:02] It's very funny.

[00:05:04] It was only six million.

[00:05:05] It wasn't that big of a deal.

[00:05:06] It wasn't that big of a deal.

[00:05:07] The Germans should have done it.

[00:05:10] Yeah.

[00:05:11] Yeah.

[00:05:12] And I think that five to 95% of the audience really liked that bit.

[00:05:15] You mean 2%?

[00:05:17] You think we have 2% Nazi?

[00:05:19] Oh, I thought you meant Jews.

[00:05:20] No.

[00:05:21] You think 95?

[00:05:22] Yeah, a good 95.

[00:05:23] 2% of the world.

[00:05:25] 99.8% of the world's wealth.

[00:05:28] Yeah, that's fucked up.

[00:05:29] That's entirely true.

[00:05:30] That's entirely true.

[00:05:32] You want to regain that?

[00:05:34] Look at a single one in the towers.

[00:05:36] All right.

[00:05:37] They all.

[00:05:38] Why did they all call in sick that day?

[00:05:39] You know what I'm saying?

[00:05:40] Like every just rank and file Jewish person was told.

[00:05:43] There's an Israeli conspiracy to destroy.

[00:05:47] We're going to bomb the world.

[00:05:49] They got a fact.

[00:05:50] They got a fact.

[00:05:51] It's very important that you don't tell anyone.

[00:05:53] Most sides.

[00:05:54] No, it wasn't.

[00:05:57] God, that's so fucking funny.

[00:06:00] If you called this thing that day.

[00:06:03] Listen, it was a tragedy.

[00:06:05] A lot of Jews almost died.

[00:06:07] Just say the thing.

[00:06:11] Don't tell me when to say it, motherfucker.

[00:06:13] I'll say when I watch it.

[00:06:14] Yeah, don't start making demands.

[00:06:15] Adam's been peeing, sitting down this whole trip.

[00:06:17] No, I haven't.

[00:06:18] I've refused to listen to you.

[00:06:20] Nick made a request that I pee to sit down because he doesn't like how it would look.

[00:06:25] If it got out.

[00:06:27] If it got out that you were standing up and peeing.

[00:06:30] God damn it.

[00:06:33] He doesn't like how that would look.

[00:06:36] It would be a PR nightmare.

[00:06:40] I'm not taking pictures of myself pissing.

[00:06:44] If it got out like you, sir.

[00:06:46] What?

[00:06:47] Why are you turning this on me, man?

[00:06:49] Golden shower based.

[00:06:51] Chubby chaser.

[00:06:53] I've never done a Golden shower.

[00:06:55] Insta-grat account.

[00:06:56] I have great content.

[00:06:58] Everyone please follow at Stavi Baby 2, S-T-A, V-V-Y Baby 2 for beautiful body positive images

[00:07:05] that media today is frankly not doing enough of.

[00:07:08] I'm trying to fill that void the way I'm about to fill Adam's mouth with my two hairy nuts.

[00:07:13] That's disgusting, Stav.

[00:07:15] I would never let you fill my mouth.

[00:07:18] Adam's salivating.

[00:07:20] He just put a bib on.

[00:07:24] His body's betraying.

[00:07:26] That's disgusting.

[00:07:28] My heart is never going to get that.

[00:07:32] I wish I could stop drooling all of you.

[00:07:36] I literally just had a...

[00:07:39] Oh, that was not what I wanted.

[00:07:41] Dasha was keeping you safe for a week.

[00:07:43] Me and the boys have been at the gate.

[00:07:45] Dasha left.

[00:07:46] When is his store open for business?

[00:07:49] Excuse me, Ms. Dasha?

[00:07:51] Excuse me, Ms. Dasha.

[00:07:52] Yeah.

[00:07:53] Dasha, can we please call Adam Gay?

[00:07:56] Me and Stav are busy keeping her safe from all those Japanese men.

[00:08:00] What are you talking about?

[00:08:01] You were trying on kimonos.

[00:08:03] Women's kimonos to be cleared.

[00:08:06] No, they're wedding dress.

[00:08:08] The wedding costume for women.

[00:08:10] No, there was a male's dress that I was wearing.

[00:08:14] A man's dress.

[00:08:15] Culturally appropriate.

[00:08:17] So we were talking about Alvin the Chip.

[00:08:20] I was saying how we're basically Alvin and the Chip.

[00:08:22] We represent each one of them.

[00:08:24] Although the hat, Stav is the fan.

[00:08:26] I'm the adorable one.

[00:08:27] The glasses.

[00:08:28] And Adam's the Jewish one.

[00:08:29] Adam's the Jewish.

[00:08:30] The famous.

[00:08:31] The nervous.

[00:08:32] And so I said that when we were looking at a picture and we were like,

[00:08:35] oh my god, Nick's like, wow, that is us.

[00:08:37] And then Adam says, who's that adult guy that they live with?

[00:08:42] Yeah.

[00:08:43] That's your Adam wanted to know about it.

[00:08:45] That was a fair question.

[00:08:47] Adam wanted to know about the man.

[00:08:48] What's that guy's name?

[00:08:49] What's the human's man's name?

[00:08:51] Can I get the more information on that guy?

[00:08:54] So I'm not allowed to ask literally when anyone, bro, you're allowed.

[00:08:58] That was the first.

[00:08:59] That's the first question you had.

[00:09:01] The first, the only you were talking about Alvin and the Chipmunks and you're like,

[00:09:05] is that guy single?

[00:09:06] I didn't ask if he was single.

[00:09:08] Yes, he did.

[00:09:09] But he turns out he was very handsome.

[00:09:10] We looked at pictures.

[00:09:11] No, you looked at pictures.

[00:09:13] Me and Stav were too busy laughing.

[00:09:15] Yeah, that was one of the best things that's ever happened to me.

[00:09:19] You self what's his name?

[00:09:21] It was so funny.

[00:09:22] Stav is like, it could all end Adam.

[00:09:24] All the torment can end if you just admit that that's funny.

[00:09:27] It made it funny.

[00:09:28] And then I said, I'll never admit that's funny.

[00:09:31] And then on the walk, when we were away from Dick, he was like, just admit it.

[00:09:36] I was like, he just admit it's funny.

[00:09:37] And I said, I will listen.

[00:09:40] Was 911 a great ex, a very well executed plan?

[00:09:44] You know, did they follow through on their plans?

[00:09:46] There comes the silver linings playbook.

[00:09:48] But you can't, you can't tell the terrorists that.

[00:09:50] Right, right, right.

[00:09:51] Just like I can't tell Nick that myself, what's his name?

[00:09:55] And his immediate ridicule.

[00:09:58] It was beautiful, dude.

[00:10:00] It was.

[00:10:01] What's a silver linings play?

[00:10:02] It's just filled with stuff that's like, you get caught with child pornography.

[00:10:06] But you learned how to, about down with the angels.

[00:10:09] You know, yeah, now you know, computers.

[00:10:11] You know all about everybody.

[00:10:12] Plus everybody.

[00:10:13] You know our computers.

[00:10:14] That's right.

[00:10:15] You know fucking solid state drive.

[00:10:17] You know what that is now.

[00:10:18] Because you're not, what are you not using an SSD for that shit?

[00:10:21] That's right.

[00:10:22] You want to access your child pornography quickly.

[00:10:24] You can't wait the extra second.

[00:10:26] No, you need to do a bit about how like your bitcoins worth so much money now.

[00:10:30] But there's all these people that got it to buy child pornography.

[00:10:33] Another rich.

[00:10:34] Another rich.

[00:10:35] I guess that's the silver linings playbook.

[00:10:38] Has someone done that as a bit as a big one?

[00:10:41] I don't know.

[00:10:42] I don't know if I've heard it.

[00:10:43] It seems so obvious that.

[00:10:44] Well, yeah, it was also people buying drugs too.

[00:10:47] And pedophiles.

[00:10:48] Yep.

[00:10:49] Well, that's the way Nick said the second thing you said is the first thing you said.

[00:10:52] Yeah.

[00:10:53] So let's go ahead.

[00:10:54] Now you can just repeat exactly what I said is if this is.

[00:10:56] I said in addition to pedophiles, it was also people buying drugs.

[00:11:00] I was adding to what you said.

[00:11:02] That was not a repeat.

[00:11:05] I don't think it's.

[00:11:06] I don't think it's that obvious.

[00:11:07] I think that's pretty funny.

[00:11:08] The same way I don't think what we feel the thing we're laughing about is that obvious

[00:11:13] that a gay guy proposing to another man by getting on his knee.

[00:11:23] I'm putting a ring on his dick.

[00:11:25] I think that's probably.

[00:11:27] Nah, man.

[00:11:28] I think that's probably out there.

[00:11:30] No chance, dude.

[00:11:31] We came up with that.

[00:11:32] That's Nick, brother.

[00:11:33] You know.

[00:11:36] Adam's never come up with the business.

[00:11:38] God damn life.

[00:11:39] That's not true.

[00:11:40] Let's come up with plenty of fits.

[00:11:42] That single thing is God damn life.

[00:11:45] Fucking life.

[00:11:46] But then everyone, by the way, you came to Sydney, the comedy store, shout out to them.

[00:11:50] Thank you so much for coming.

[00:11:52] Those were great shows.

[00:11:53] Many became for both.

[00:11:55] We want to suck you and we want to fuck you for that one.

[00:11:57] So appreciate you.

[00:11:59] Malbin, we'll be there shortly, my little sluts Friday night.

[00:12:04] Little sum tickets left to the stand up show.

[00:12:06] The podcast has already sold out.

[00:12:07] I thought they were about that.

[00:12:09] I think Brizzy.

[00:12:10] Brizzy they're both sold out.

[00:12:12] I think Brizzy podcast sold out.

[00:12:14] Oh, really?

[00:12:15] Well, listen, just try and buy tickets if you live.

[00:12:18] Everyone buy whatever is available.

[00:12:21] And we owe a lot of guys a lot of money.

[00:12:23] My spine hurts.

[00:12:25] For what?

[00:12:26] I don't know.

[00:12:27] It's fucking hurts.

[00:12:28] Getting asked, fuck, maybe.

[00:12:29] I'm not cranky.

[00:12:30] What are you talking about?

[00:12:31] You're projecting.

[00:12:32] You did your crank.

[00:12:33] We had a lovely walk today that you came back and we were doing it as a crank.

[00:12:37] I was not in a crank mood.

[00:12:39] Anyway, we didn't do shit today.

[00:12:41] We were going to do stuff.

[00:12:42] I'm done doing shit.

[00:12:43] You didn't do stuff.

[00:12:44] You might be going on an international tour.

[00:12:47] We might literally do a war tour.

[00:12:50] This is pretty crazy, but we might be literally going on a world tour.

[00:12:55] Yeah.

[00:12:56] And touring for three months.

[00:12:58] Lagos, Nigeria.

[00:13:00] We were touring the best comedians in Nigeria.

[00:13:04] The thing that Jiren people like is to be talked to like this.

[00:13:08] Hello, my brothers.

[00:13:09] It is a high star for us.

[00:13:11] How do you have a notice when you go to buy sandals?

[00:13:14] But they do not have any sandals at the sandals tour.

[00:13:17] And you have to walk home without shoes on.

[00:13:19] And you say, why didn't I just wear my other sandals to the sandals?

[00:13:23] Every time you do this.

[00:13:24] And they're like, that is true.

[00:13:25] Every time.

[00:13:26] That is so true.

[00:13:27] You think that you will get the sandals there.

[00:13:30] But they are closed.

[00:13:31] Yeah.

[00:13:32] It is like, please stop talking like that.

[00:13:37] We can see you.

[00:13:41] These non-friends that come down.

[00:13:43] They just think comedy is coming to Nigeria.

[00:13:46] It is so funny.

[00:13:48] They think it is an opportunity for business networking.

[00:13:52] Right.

[00:13:58] Nigerians think every public event is a business meeting.

[00:14:03] Yeah, dude.

[00:14:04] Nigerians love college.

[00:14:05] And it is for creating ultimate money.

[00:14:08] So true.

[00:14:09] Creating ultimate money.

[00:14:10] Yeah, I go, where are you going?

[00:14:12] Get off my back.

[00:14:13] I am going to a business meet and greet with the come-down podcast.

[00:14:18] I would love to see some of them.

[00:14:20] I am an entrepreneur.

[00:14:22] Pitch me.

[00:14:23] Let's do Shark Tank.

[00:14:24] I'm trying to get ripped off.

[00:14:25] Dude, I would love to lose all of my money investing in weird Nigerian businesses.

[00:14:30] You have heard of limousines.

[00:14:33] But what about stretch sandals?

[00:14:37] You and all of your friends can wear the same pair of sandals.

[00:14:42] And you won't walk around together.

[00:14:46] That way, because it is one pair of sandals,

[00:14:49] when you get to the sandal store, three of your friends can buy normal sandals.

[00:14:53] And wear the normal sandals home.

[00:14:55] And you maintain the limousine size sandals.

[00:15:00] It is so good.

[00:15:01] Two people yourself.

[00:15:03] And these will solve the problem of, in case, the sandal store is closed.

[00:15:09] You will wear the limousine sandals back home.

[00:15:15] Dude, I am sold on stretch sandals.

[00:15:18] Coming up on Nigerian Shark Tank.

[00:15:20] I want $12 to buy a lemonade.

[00:15:23] What is your business idea?

[00:15:27] Did I drink the lemonade?

[00:15:29] Okay, fine.

[00:15:30] You will have that.

[00:15:33] I will give you $6.

[00:15:35] And then you bring me half the lemonade to drink.

[00:15:38] For me.

[00:15:40] And then I get 10% on all your piece from now on.

[00:15:44] I get 10% stake on your piece.

[00:15:48] Nigerian Shark Tank.

[00:15:50] I would like to have dinner.

[00:15:53] I would like to have dinner.

[00:15:55] I would like to have dinner.

[00:15:58] I would like to have dinner.

[00:16:01] What was it?

[00:16:02] Nigerian cinema.

[00:16:03] I want to watch a whole Nigerian movie.

[00:16:05] Nollywood.

[00:16:06] All I see is the clips online and they look incredible.

[00:16:09] You got it in cinema is the best.

[00:16:11] Is that you got it?

[00:16:12] The one where the special effects are all bullshit and it's that baby.

[00:16:16] And then oh my god.

[00:16:18] This is the best clips of all time.

[00:16:21] Yeah, that guy.

[00:16:23] Oh my god.

[00:16:25] I cannot wait to be a Hollywood director.

[00:16:29] So I am going on Nigerian Shark Tank to pitch my movie idea.

[00:16:33] Where it is a pair of sandals and has a projector.

[00:16:36] This is like a movie.

[00:16:39] And this will play the movie or this is the movie or can you just.

[00:16:43] That way I clarify.

[00:16:44] The projector in the sandals will.

[00:16:46] Wherever you are walking it goes forward.

[00:16:49] So you will project a wall in front of you and you can pretend you are walking to some place nicer than your house.

[00:16:56] Interesting.

[00:16:58] And what I really want is $12 to go buy a lemonade.

[00:17:03] Lemonade.

[00:17:05] Lemonade is really expensive man.

[00:17:09] You got to import the lemonade.

[00:17:11] That's on natives.

[00:17:12] They don't got lemons out there.

[00:17:13] No, no.

[00:17:14] They are lemons.

[00:17:15] Do all the lemons grow.

[00:17:16] That's the idea.

[00:17:17] We bring lemons to Nigeria.

[00:17:18] Lemons are citrus right?

[00:17:19] Florida.

[00:17:20] Florida.

[00:17:21] Yeah.

[00:17:22] Australia also has citrus because in Japan I bought an orange and had a little kangaroo on it.

[00:17:28] Really?

[00:17:29] Yes sir.

[00:17:30] Did you eat a Japanese pair with a girdler?

[00:17:32] I did not.

[00:17:33] They are very good.

[00:17:34] They are hoarding all the Japanese pairs man.

[00:17:36] You didn't tell anybody else about them?

[00:17:38] I was on the go one day.

[00:17:40] Yeah, I bet you were.

[00:17:41] I was.

[00:17:42] I was on the go.

[00:17:43] With who?

[00:17:44] With my girl.

[00:17:45] What's his name?

[00:17:46] This is Nigerian guy going on a shark tank.

[00:17:48] Where his idea is like a door that's on wheels.

[00:17:52] You can go anywhere.

[00:17:54] You can open any door.

[00:17:56] You can end up in any room you want.

[00:17:59] You win.

[00:18:00] You can't bring it.

[00:18:02] This is where it happened to always wanted to go through a door.

[00:18:07] Perhaps to the beach.

[00:18:10] They like the beach but they don't know doors to go through.

[00:18:13] You got to the beach.

[00:18:14] There is no door to walk through.

[00:18:16] How does he?

[00:18:17] He does not know.

[00:18:18] He will feel like you are at the beach.

[00:18:21] You bring your own door to the beach.

[00:18:28] You can open the door for your friends to be a doorman even at the beach.

[00:18:34] What's the biggest city in Nigeria?

[00:18:41] I would love a sketch.

[00:18:43] It's just Nigerian shark tank.

[00:18:46] They say no to the door guy and then a man walks out with his arms outstretched and he's

[00:18:51] covered in cotton balls and glued to him but his penis is hanging out.

[00:18:54] He's like my friends and I know.

[00:18:59] This is a massive Nigerian car.

[00:19:02] You have to leave.

[00:19:04] But you have not even heard my business idea.

[00:19:09] Oh fuck dude.

[00:19:15] That's a big ass city though right?

[00:19:17] Nigeria is the richest country in Africa.

[00:19:20] They're probably richest hell.

[00:19:21] It took over from my native land of South Africa which was the white devil.

[00:19:26] The French bastards in Africa.

[00:19:29] They've been scamming their way to shit.

[00:19:32] No they have a lot of oil.

[00:19:34] That's mostly in email scams.

[00:19:36] It is the Prince email scam guy but it is also oil.

[00:19:40] I believe.

[00:19:41] They've exported a lot of hip hop around the world.

[00:19:44] This is a great website.

[00:19:46] That's right.

[00:19:53] This is a real slippery slope here.

[00:19:57] Let's go down in a second.

[00:20:00] DMO extends in 100 billion suck cock off.

[00:20:03] What the fuck is suck cock?

[00:20:05] No you're making that up.

[00:20:07] Yeah suck cock I guess is their money.

[00:20:09] No they buy things with suck cocks.

[00:20:12] No no sorry suck cock is the Arabic name for financial certificates.

[00:20:18] That's pretty good too.

[00:20:20] What is commonly referred to as sharia compliant bonds.

[00:20:24] Oh yeah there's a lot of Muslims in Nigeria.

[00:20:27] You have to be sharia compliant?

[00:20:29] If you want to invest in sharia law you need to buy suck cock.

[00:20:33] You have to have ten suck cocks.

[00:20:35] If you want your fucking wife to look like a ninja or whatever.

[00:20:39] You got to let conservative radio know about this.

[00:20:44] People that think sharia law is coming to the stage.

[00:20:47] It's coming dude.

[00:20:48] They're trying to do this.

[00:20:49] What the fuck is going on?

[00:20:51] They're talking about.

[00:20:52] There's a fucking mad max style caravan full of Mexicans and Muslims coming to the border.

[00:20:57] I've become so racist that I legitimately thought that Nigerian business news shit would be like

[00:21:03] I'm opening a sign.

[00:21:04] No they're rich as hell dude.

[00:21:06] They're a huge country.

[00:21:09] They're like a wildly influential country.

[00:21:11] They're super powerful.

[00:21:12] And I'm like what the fuck is this a thousand firms bid for government contract.

[00:21:16] This isn't funny at all.

[00:21:21] My friend.

[00:21:22] FM Simbank wants you limited personal and business banking propositions.

[00:21:27] Where's the sandal stuff that I imagine in my head?

[00:21:32] No they're it.

[00:21:37] We are selling bluetooth speakers, bluetooth headsets and sandals together.

[00:21:43] No longer will you have to buy your separate.

[00:21:46] Who is excited for bluetooth sandals?

[00:21:51] A million dollars.

[00:21:53] That's off a fucking mini war.

[00:21:55] I want ten million so car.

[00:21:58] I would be compliant with real law.

[00:22:03] Anyway guys.

[00:22:04] It's a good time to mention bet the aside.com.

[00:22:08] Bring it so you can gamble on Nigerian businesses.

[00:22:12] Bet the aside.com now available in Nigeria.

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[00:22:26] Let me tell you I have been in the sandal business my entire life.

[00:22:31] And there's one thing I love doing with my sandals is wearing them to the gambling district.

[00:22:37] The internet cafe to log on to bet the aside.com and place bets on which sports teams will do something.

[00:22:48] And they have an award winning mobile app.

[00:22:51] And 24 seven customer service.

[00:22:55] That you can call up anytime and say I am a prince.

[00:22:58] I need 20 million dollars.

[00:23:00] I will give it back to you.

[00:23:01] And they will do it.

[00:23:02] I have scammed so much money out of this company.

[00:23:06] That's right.

[00:23:08] Bet the award winning mobile app already said it.

[00:23:12] We offer live in game.

[00:23:14] We're in game.

[00:23:15] We're in game.

[00:23:16] You know what that means?

[00:23:17] Change your mind.

[00:23:18] Fucking heads your shit.

[00:23:19] You know, heads your bets.

[00:23:22] I tell people I had your bets all the time.

[00:23:25] You know, say buy low sell high.

[00:23:27] I bet on both teams every game.

[00:23:29] Every game you can't lose that way.

[00:23:31] The Boston boys versus Los Angeles faggots.

[00:23:35] Yeah, Los Angeles.

[00:23:37] Los Angeles.

[00:23:38] Homos.

[00:23:39] That's right.

[00:23:41] Right.

[00:23:42] That's the way.

[00:23:43] Homos.

[00:23:44] Look, you go online right now.

[00:23:46] And the odds are in your favor here.

[00:23:49] Put every dollar you have on the dog.

[00:23:52] Even dollars you haven't made.

[00:23:54] Dodgers in three.

[00:23:55] Take out a bet.

[00:23:56] Listen to this.

[00:23:57] Take out a bet.

[00:23:58] I'm calling the World Series now.

[00:23:59] The Dodgers in three.

[00:24:00] Yeah.

[00:24:01] We watched the World Series.

[00:24:02] Oh, no.

[00:24:03] Are we done with Reed?

[00:24:04] Take out a loan.

[00:24:05] No, we're not done with the Reed yet.

[00:24:06] Take out a loan.

[00:24:07] Take out a loan.

[00:24:08] Doesn't matter what the interest is.

[00:24:09] These are winning the Reed.

[00:24:10] This is a real website that I use myself.

[00:24:11] That we love using it.

[00:24:13] That I love using it.

[00:24:14] I go online.

[00:24:15] I use it all the time.

[00:24:16] I made $400.

[00:24:19] Look, dude, I'm a multi billionaire.

[00:24:21] And the only thing that keeps me from killing myself is winning more and more money.

[00:24:25] It's wagering on Bette aside.

[00:24:27] Just betting wild gambles.

[00:24:29] Beat me off guys.com.

[00:24:31] Beat me off guys.com.

[00:24:32] And you can go there and you can check out the website.

[00:24:36] And by the way, you can also email us at staff at beat me off guys.com.

[00:24:40] And I think you too.

[00:24:42] And I think you too.

[00:24:47] I got them both.

[00:24:48] I locked it down.

[00:24:49] I knew that the second one might be available.

[00:24:52] I wanted to make it mine.

[00:24:53] That's pretty cool.

[00:24:54] Anyways, what are your picks for the World Series?

[00:24:56] World Series, I'm saying Boston.

[00:24:58] I guess I got a roof for the...

[00:25:00] I'm picking the Dodgers.

[00:25:01] I'm picking with my cock.

[00:25:02] Yeah, I'm telling you, the Dodgers in three.

[00:25:04] Dodgers in three.

[00:25:05] We watched Game 1 today.

[00:25:07] They had a chance to steal it.

[00:25:09] But they did not.

[00:25:10] Strike ass.

[00:25:11] Strike ass.

[00:25:12] Strike ass.

[00:25:13] Two.

[00:25:14] Fuck.

[00:25:15] Joe.

[00:25:16] Joe.

[00:25:17] Fuck.

[00:25:18] And a grand slant.

[00:25:19] Oh, no, it's balls.

[00:25:20] It was just a ball ball three.

[00:25:22] Sorry, folks.

[00:25:23] It looked like he was going to hit that one out of the...

[00:25:25] And now I'm being told no one was on base actually.

[00:25:28] Sorry about that, folks.

[00:25:30] The game was yesterday.

[00:25:32] The game will begin shortly.

[00:25:34] I'm watching Darmon Gregg on my phone.

[00:25:39] I was watching Family Guys.

[00:25:41] Stewie got a hit.

[00:25:43] Yes, Stewie made me laugh about an evil monkey in Chris's Closet.

[00:25:49] We're all reminded of the evil monkey inside of ourselves in the great beautiful game of

[00:25:57] the Divine Sport.

[00:25:59] Labella Gemo.

[00:26:00] Labella Gemo.

[00:26:01] Fenway Park.

[00:26:02] Baseball Deutsch.

[00:26:03] Fenway Park.

[00:26:04] A Cathedral of the sport.

[00:26:07] The sport of the bells.

[00:26:09] The bells.

[00:26:10] Coming to bat now is Georgie Christmas.

[00:26:13] George Christmas.

[00:26:15] Number 20.

[00:26:17] Looks like a three from here.

[00:26:19] The script is kind of weird.

[00:26:21] I'll say 28 or 23.

[00:26:23] And another good job by the players.

[00:26:25] The player gets it.

[00:26:26] He brings the ball.

[00:26:27] And that's actually Joe Buck did say that.

[00:26:29] Joe had another good job.

[00:26:31] He said another good job by all the players.

[00:26:33] Another good job by the catcher.

[00:26:37] By the catcher.

[00:26:39] The players are going out on the field.

[00:26:41] Yeah.

[00:26:42] And one thing's for certain.

[00:26:44] We will see something happen today.

[00:26:46] And not many people know this but actually when it goes back to LA, they will be, they

[00:26:53] will not be using designated hitters.

[00:26:55] Of course, nationally.

[00:26:57] The D standing for designated H for hitter.

[00:27:02] And that's strike two.

[00:27:04] Hitler.

[00:27:05] That's strike two and I'm sorry that was actually a double.

[00:27:07] That's a good moment to remind you that this game is brought to you by bet dsi.com.

[00:27:12] Play bet win.

[00:27:13] Oh, right.

[00:27:14] Use promo code.

[00:27:15] Com one twenty.

[00:27:17] Come on 20.

[00:27:18] Come on 20.

[00:27:19] Sorry.

[00:27:20] Come on 20.

[00:27:21] Come on 20.

[00:27:22] Not the gay shit.

[00:27:23] Adams.

[00:27:24] Yeah.

[00:27:25] Next year 120% of strike.

[00:27:27] Sorry.

[00:27:28] Strike.

[00:27:29] No, that was.

[00:27:30] That was ball two.

[00:27:32] Yeah.

[00:27:33] Got me again.

[00:27:34] Another good job.

[00:27:35] Here comes George Christmas again.

[00:27:37] Yeah.

[00:27:38] Yeah.

[00:27:39] That's Derek Jeter.

[00:27:40] And the wind up.

[00:27:41] Oh, he's walking up now.

[00:27:43] Wow.

[00:27:44] Oh, yeah.

[00:27:45] They've got now an older picture is actually coming to the mound.

[00:27:48] They're talking to me.

[00:27:50] They told now that there's a third baseball team on the field.

[00:27:53] There was gray uniforms and they're allowed to boss people around.

[00:28:01] The rules of the divine game ever changing.

[00:28:05] Like game of dude.

[00:28:07] Like a manila.

[00:28:08] Belladue.

[00:28:09] Like life itself.

[00:28:10] The game.

[00:28:11] The rules of the game are constantly in flux.

[00:28:14] In flux.

[00:28:15] And in fact, maybe there won't be a bottom of the seventh.

[00:28:19] How many more innings will this game go?

[00:28:22] No one knows.

[00:28:23] It's hard to tell.

[00:28:24] Once again, Boston's up 13.

[00:28:26] Good go.

[00:28:27] And frankly, I'm surprised it's still going on.

[00:28:31] We're sitting here at the top of the eighth, 13 to one.

[00:28:35] And it's any anybody's guess.

[00:28:36] How many innings this game?

[00:28:38] I think they played a 20 or something.

[00:28:40] Maybe 15 or which win by two.

[00:28:42] First to 21, I believe.

[00:28:44] And the Dodgers are on their 15th reliever.

[00:28:47] And the score is 22 to 0.

[00:28:50] And we're looking at extra innings here.

[00:28:53] I'm sorry.

[00:28:54] Those were the K's.

[00:28:55] I keep counting.

[00:28:56] Let's just strikeouts.

[00:28:57] I don't know what the score is.

[00:28:59] K stands for.

[00:29:00] K stands for.

[00:29:01] Okay.

[00:29:02] By me.

[00:29:03] Extra 120% when you use promo code.

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[00:29:09] Get 120% bonus on your deposit.

[00:29:13] And that is a grand slam.

[00:29:14] Oh, sorry.

[00:29:15] Again.

[00:29:16] I don't.

[00:29:17] I keep doing that.

[00:29:18] I really apologize.

[00:29:19] It's so exciting.

[00:29:20] I wish this one and I keep hoping it's going to happen.

[00:29:23] Can you please stop watching Family Guy?

[00:29:25] I'm being told the game has been over and I am why I'm just announcing over the Family

[00:29:32] Guy feed.

[00:29:33] The next 20 minutes.

[00:29:34] The child has been hit with a foul ball.

[00:29:37] And you can only hope that she has Down syndrome or some kind of intellectual disability that

[00:29:43] this does not affect her life in any significant way.

[00:29:45] Strike two.

[00:29:47] Strike two.

[00:29:48] He walked.

[00:29:49] I'm sorry.

[00:29:50] And a lot of people don't know this but there's a strike two and it looks like the

[00:29:56] inning is over.

[00:29:57] And it's all right.

[00:29:58] Strike two.

[00:29:59] Two outs.

[00:30:00] One out.

[00:30:01] How does it?

[00:30:02] It's tough to keep track but one out and that is the middle of the ninth and that'll

[00:30:06] be here folks and they won't even bother batting I don't think and he strikes out the side

[00:30:12] with nine balls.

[00:30:15] Once you walk everyone if they if everyone makes their way around the bases we are witnessing

[00:30:19] baseball history here.

[00:30:22] It looks like the batter is allowed to advance the first base without actually having to

[00:30:26] hit the ball because the picture was so bad.

[00:30:30] It's just a talk to the pitcher in the letting him do it.

[00:30:33] Incredible psychological war.

[00:30:35] We're witnessing baseball history here.

[00:30:37] Batter has been hit by the ball.

[00:30:41] Unprecedented.

[00:30:42] And the animals of the divine cathedral is never ever seen baseball.

[00:30:48] Not even like he's only for sort of familiar.

[00:30:51] Yeah.

[00:30:52] He went through a game one time when he was seven years old.

[00:30:55] This guy kind of reminds me of Benny the jet rod regas from the film from the film Sandlot

[00:31:01] which is really the only thing I've seen.

[00:31:04] And it's really going to be because I couldn't understand why the dog was different sizes

[00:31:10] throughout the movie.

[00:31:12] No one ever explained it to me and my father beat me for crying and called me a faggot

[00:31:17] who will never have the same job as him.

[00:31:23] What I don't understand is why how many balls do they have because in the Sandlot it seemed

[00:31:28] like that was only you know pretty tough to use a baseball.

[00:31:32] The umpire is calling that ball three.

[00:31:34] It's interesting.

[00:31:35] It's going to be the same ball he has been throwing the entire time.

[00:31:40] So I'm pretty sure that's going to be challenged.

[00:31:41] They're going to send that one.

[00:31:43] It's going to work.

[00:31:47] There is no chance we're not seeing a challenge on that one.

[00:31:51] I'm almost certain that is the same ball.

[00:31:54] I watched it be thrown back to the pitcher.

[00:32:00] And it looks like we're not.

[00:32:01] We're probably going to wait till the end of the game for that challenge.

[00:32:05] These is customary.

[00:32:06] All of the challenges happen after after the game as a gentleman's agreement between the

[00:32:10] two coaches and it's a grand slot.

[00:32:13] Oh, so fuck.

[00:32:14] Fuck.

[00:32:15] I just want to see a goddamn grand slot.

[00:32:18] Wouldn't that be great folks coming up after family guy the Cleveland show.

[00:32:23] Yeah.

[00:32:24] Sorry.

[00:32:25] Show.

[00:32:26] Show.

[00:32:27] Wahoo.

[00:32:28] Coming up on my phone after family guy.

[00:32:29] Star Trek the next generation.

[00:32:30] A couple of fine compilations.

[00:32:31] And join me throughout the six and seventh name as I recreate the UPN network through

[00:32:37] streaming services.

[00:32:38] UPN 1997.

[00:32:39] Last year I was happy.

[00:32:42] I'm gay.

[00:32:44] I'm gay.

[00:32:46] And that's strike at or strike.

[00:32:49] Strike as.

[00:32:50] Strike as is what started it all.

[00:32:53] Strike as another good job.

[00:32:57] Yeah.

[00:32:58] Baseball's pretty fucking gay.

[00:33:00] If you ask me.

[00:33:01] Yeah, it's not.

[00:33:02] It's really not exciting anymore.

[00:33:04] What do you say anymore?

[00:33:06] Because there's better sports to the six.

[00:33:09] We wonder once again, am I allowed to go to the bathroom?

[00:33:13] Can I go to the bathroom and never mind.

[00:33:15] I will be pissing in this commemorative Pepsi cup.

[00:33:17] The divine question.

[00:33:19] How we how mad would people be if I just got up and went to the back?

[00:33:24] Folks, you know it.

[00:33:25] I know nothing really happens in baseball.

[00:33:28] You can take it from here for a couple days and will people find out that I'm skyping

[00:33:34] in for my garage?

[00:33:37] I'm skyped in.

[00:33:38] My feed stopped working.

[00:33:40] Have strike out.

[00:33:41] Calling Nick.

[00:33:42] Yeah.

[00:33:43] He's two out two out to the ball.

[00:33:44] Someone's definitely coming to the plate.

[00:33:46] Joe, he's actually showing up yet.

[00:33:48] It's actually.

[00:33:49] You can see a lot of movement out on the field.

[00:33:52] Players moving at various speeds.

[00:33:55] There are peers on them standing still stoic almost.

[00:33:59] Like the Big Ben.

[00:34:01] Big Ben Tower.

[00:34:02] The time teller of London.

[00:34:05] That classic good tower that we all love.

[00:34:08] He's just home.

[00:34:10] He's just trying to keep his way.

[00:34:15] Just Skype his way and the feed is working.

[00:34:18] He's just climbing it on Reddit.

[00:34:20] That's playing on five.

[00:34:25] This is no reason for making noises.

[00:34:30] Finding some bad facts.

[00:34:31] And Cracker Jacks.

[00:34:34] They have a prize in them and we all have a prize in ourselves.

[00:34:37] It's called talent and ability, which you can see out here tonight.

[00:34:42] And some of these fine young men demonstrating why athleticism is the answer to South America's

[00:34:50] obsession with fascist fascism.

[00:34:54] The greatest ideology.

[00:34:55] The divine ideology, a cathedral, the thought.

[00:35:01] People that like baseball probably would be cool with fascism.

[00:35:05] Yeah.

[00:35:06] It's sold fashioned.

[00:35:07] You know what I mean?

[00:35:08] Yeah, it's the.

[00:35:09] It'd be nice.

[00:35:10] The national pass.

[00:35:11] It'd be orderly.

[00:35:12] They used to not allow blacks to do it.

[00:35:15] Yep.

[00:35:16] They got that guy in Boston, Yawki.

[00:35:19] He's racist as shit, I think.

[00:35:21] Yeah.

[00:35:22] Who's Yawki?

[00:35:23] A fan of theirs?

[00:35:24] No, I think he was the owner.

[00:35:26] Oh, now it's the Dunkin Donuts guy.

[00:35:29] No.

[00:35:30] Dunkin?

[00:35:31] No, the crap.

[00:35:32] It's Dunkin.

[00:35:33] No, Robert Kraft owns a Patriots.

[00:35:35] He doesn't know.

[00:35:36] He doesn't know.

[00:35:37] No, it's the guy that owns Liverpool.

[00:35:39] Oh, nice.

[00:35:40] He owns the Red Sox.

[00:35:41] John Henry.

[00:35:42] Does he?

[00:35:43] I think his name is John Henry.

[00:35:45] Damn, look at the US ambassador Nigeria.

[00:35:48] Just a white-ass guy.

[00:35:50] Yeah, but he looks like a fake businessman.

[00:35:52] Yeah, he definitely does.

[00:35:53] They're like, who are we going to send over there?

[00:35:55] Oh, a businessman that a child came up with.

[00:35:59] Just slick the back black hair.

[00:36:01] Yeah.

[00:36:02] Beautiful fucking hard cock.

[00:36:05] Nigeria is seventh largest integrated market in the world.

[00:36:08] Damn.

[00:36:09] Yeah.

[00:36:10] Nigeria is Billy.

[00:36:11] William Simington is the name of the US ambassador.

[00:36:13] What's the top six?

[00:36:14] I don't know.

[00:36:16] US.

[00:36:17] Cali is number two.

[00:36:19] Its own market?

[00:36:20] Dude.

[00:36:21] Cali.

[00:36:22] He's succeeding after Trump got elected.

[00:36:24] That'll be good.

[00:36:26] I don't think they ever got around to it.

[00:36:28] They should be coming back to you.

[00:36:30] They're probably too stoned.

[00:36:31] God has got him.

[00:36:33] Got him at him.

[00:36:35] I'm trying to get my dick sucked on the city opera house, the top of it.

[00:36:39] On the point at the top of the show.

[00:36:41] That's right.

[00:36:42] You think I could do it?

[00:36:44] Yeah, there's no record of this William Simington guy being the US ambassador in Nigeria.

[00:36:48] What do you mean?

[00:36:49] You just saw a picture of a guy.

[00:36:51] And also as the Nigerian newspaper.

[00:36:52] I think this guy is just pretending to be the US ambassador.

[00:36:54] He's just never been there.

[00:36:56] No, I think this guy, like if you Google William Simington, some guy from the 1700s comes up.

[00:37:03] Well, there might be more than one ambassador.

[00:37:06] I hope there's just some guy lying to Nigerians.

[00:37:09] No, they're too crafty, dude.

[00:37:13] They're too fucking crafty.

[00:37:15] Those Nigerians?

[00:37:16] No, he's real.

[00:37:19] That sucks.

[00:37:20] I'm sorry, man.

[00:37:22] I'm sorry for your loss.

[00:37:24] Yeah.

[00:37:25] He's tough ass trying ass time.

[00:37:28] Proceeded by James F. Entwistle.

[00:37:31] Entwistle?

[00:37:32] Entwistle.

[00:37:33] Hmm.

[00:37:34] Same name as the...

[00:37:36] Basis from the who?

[00:37:38] No.

[00:37:40] How about the who?

[00:37:41] John Entwistle.

[00:37:42] That's not his name.

[00:37:43] How about the me to?

[00:37:45] Who?

[00:37:46] Me to.

[00:37:47] Is it me to who?

[00:37:48] Me to who?

[00:37:49] It's like, but he says it like...

[00:37:51] I got raped.

[00:37:52] But it's me to.

[00:37:54] I got raped.

[00:37:55] Me too.

[00:37:56] My name's Hank Hill and I've been raped in rape accessories.

[00:38:00] Me too.

[00:38:01] I sell me too and me too accessories.

[00:38:04] I've been jerked off.

[00:38:06] I guess my wife.

[00:38:07] Have you said limited me too on the show?

[00:38:10] Limited me too.

[00:38:11] Like clothes for little girls.

[00:38:12] Children's.

[00:38:13] You got raped.

[00:38:14] No, God.

[00:38:15] God damn.

[00:38:16] What?

[00:38:17] What?

[00:38:18] It's just sad.

[00:38:19] What?

[00:38:20] I think my little girl's getting raped.

[00:38:23] Yeah, that's fucked up.

[00:38:25] But it's good that they have less.

[00:38:26] We've literally never talked about children getting raped before on the show.

[00:38:30] This might be the first time.

[00:38:31] Yeah, we did.

[00:38:32] I'm just...

[00:38:33] I'm playing, dude.

[00:38:34] You're playing?

[00:38:35] How about Sheila?

[00:38:36] Me too.

[00:38:37] And it's the guy from Hook getting raped.

[00:38:38] Yeah, now we're back, baby.

[00:38:39] Oh, Captain, stop fucking me ass.

[00:38:42] Was that Mario who played Smee?

[00:38:45] Yes, it was.

[00:38:46] Bob Hoskins.

[00:38:47] He's not Mario.

[00:38:49] That's literally the only thing I knew him from my whole life.

[00:38:52] Mario?

[00:38:53] I knew him as Smee.

[00:38:54] You're gonna see.

[00:38:55] Yeah.

[00:38:56] I knew him as Eddie Valiant and who frame Roger Rabbit.

[00:38:59] Yep.

[00:39:00] True.

[00:39:01] I thought...

[00:39:02] I was like, wow, Smee is in Roger Rabbit.

[00:39:03] Yeah.

[00:39:04] But I saw Hook first.

[00:39:05] My man Dustin Hoffman, given the performance of a lifetime.

[00:39:09] Definitely.

[00:39:10] Definitely I love having gay sex.

[00:39:12] I love people.

[00:39:13] I want to trap Peter Pan.

[00:39:14] We got to find Peter.

[00:39:15] I'm gonna look up.

[00:39:16] I'm gonna find Peter Pan.

[00:39:17] I'm gonna take my sword and I'm gonna cut his pants off and I'm gonna suck his cock.

[00:39:22] Yeah.

[00:39:23] Yeah.

[00:39:24] Uh, Hook, are you?

[00:39:26] Listen, here's the plan.

[00:39:28] I'm gonna find Peter Pan.

[00:39:30] When I find them, I'm gonna use his magic to get my dick hard.

[00:39:36] Think hard ass dick thoughts.

[00:39:38] My dick hasn't been hard for 15 years.

[00:39:40] Listen, I'm trying to get my dick hard.

[00:39:43] He can't really do Dustin Hoffman.

[00:39:45] No, that was good.

[00:39:46] It was a good like Rain Man Dustin.

[00:39:48] I don't know.

[00:39:49] I don't know Mrs. Robinson.

[00:39:50] I just don't know if you're allowed to suck my cock.

[00:39:54] That movie's about an old bitch that fucks a young man.

[00:39:57] And then he fucks the daughter.

[00:39:58] Whoa, he gets them both.

[00:40:00] He's a pimp.

[00:40:01] That ruse.

[00:40:02] And then they run away to get married.

[00:40:03] Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?

[00:40:06] Please come back and let me suck your cock.

[00:40:09] I am gay.

[00:40:12] I'm gay, gay, gay.

[00:40:13] Please do you, Mr. Robinson.

[00:40:16] I watch you mow the lawn and beat off through the blinds.

[00:40:21] I let you fuck the death through the blinds.

[00:40:25] When my parents aren't home from work and I watch you mow the lawn.

[00:40:30] And I get my dick hard and I beat off in the kitchen.

[00:40:35] I ejaculate all over all the dishes.

[00:40:40] And then my mom comes home and she tells herself it's not come.

[00:40:44] Here's to you, Mr. Robinson, helping me discover my homosexuality.

[00:40:50] From across the street, I briefly dated your daughter.

[00:40:56] I abused that poor girl just to get into your room and steal your underwear.

[00:41:02] I'm going to rape you, but I'm done.

[00:41:06] I'm going to rape Mr. Robinson.

[00:41:08] Well, I'm 17 years old and I'm strong enough now to kidnap a grown man.

[00:41:16] He'll rape him in his own garage.

[00:41:19] And he'll never tell the police because it's so humiliating.

[00:41:23] Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?

[00:41:29] Nation turns its lonely eyes to you and beats off and sucks your cock.

[00:41:36] It's Paul Guymond.

[00:41:37] If you really wanted to go on a gay rape spree and any time machine, go to the 50s and start

[00:41:48] raping you.

[00:41:49] You rape guys all day long.

[00:41:51] In the 50s?

[00:41:52] Probably.

[00:41:53] That was the best time we were able to call you a real crackpot.

[00:41:57] They call you a real crackpot.

[00:41:59] They just married.

[00:42:00] Hey, just what the hell is going on here?

[00:42:02] It's a big idea.

[00:42:03] That's my aunt.

[00:42:04] Oh my God.

[00:42:05] What the hell is this?

[00:42:06] I thought only I could do this.

[00:42:11] It's a woman.

[00:42:13] Hey, I think you're mistaken, pal.

[00:42:15] That's my ass.

[00:42:17] Shump him a distant future.

[00:42:19] I'm a cryptocurrency millionaire.

[00:42:22] Everything I want except the ability to rape powerful men who don't know what rape is.

[00:42:29] Just go back in time and fuck Dwight D. Eisenhower.

[00:42:31] That would rule, dude.

[00:42:33] I would love to just rape some guy who was like a radio operator in Korea.

[00:42:38] He came back and said, yeah, you just work hard.

[00:42:41] You work hard for the company.

[00:42:43] I just make sure my kids go to a good school.

[00:42:47] I'm like, yeah, that's a cool story, man.

[00:42:50] I'll give you a ride back to your place.

[00:42:53] I'm headed over to that side of town anyway.

[00:42:54] Yeah, I'm in my packer.

[00:42:56] I don't know.

[00:42:57] Which way are you going?

[00:42:58] I'm taking the new parkway.

[00:42:59] The guy in the parkway.

[00:43:01] I don't know if I really live off the parkway.

[00:43:04] Hey, listen, you want to fucking drive?

[00:43:07] Get your own car.

[00:43:08] Well, did you just use the F word?

[00:43:11] I'm going to be using a lot more than that.

[00:43:14] Like chloroform.

[00:43:15] So he's knocked out.

[00:43:17] He's knocked out.

[00:43:18] He wakes up, tied up.

[00:43:20] He's sitting in a chair where you cut a hole in the bottom.

[00:43:22] No, he's in it.

[00:43:23] He's in a coffin.

[00:43:24] He's in a fucking coffin.

[00:43:27] He thinks he's been buried alive.

[00:43:28] But he's got a zipper lighter.

[00:43:29] He's screaming.

[00:43:30] Yeah, you give him a lighter so he knows he's in the coffin.

[00:43:33] Yeah.

[00:43:34] And then he's a little node that says you've been buried alive.

[00:43:36] But he doesn't know that he's only just sort of suspended above another cop that I've

[00:43:42] set up.

[00:43:43] There's a hole cut around his ass.

[00:43:46] And then while he's screaming at the top as long as he's six feet underground, I just

[00:43:51] start fucking his ass from underneath the coffin.

[00:43:56] Damn, dude.

[00:43:58] I thought just raping him would be enough.

[00:44:00] But you want him to feel like he's going to die and some demon is fucking his ass.

[00:44:05] Yeah.

[00:44:06] Satan himself.

[00:44:07] Yeah.

[00:44:08] And then I, you know, there's a little camera in there recording the man being raped and

[00:44:10] screaming.

[00:44:11] And you know, some, some 50s business asshole.

[00:44:14] You bring a camera in the future and then I take the footage back to modern day and I

[00:44:18] step out of the time machine and call a preface conference and I'm like, still think white

[00:44:22] men can't help.

[00:44:23] Still think white men are bad.

[00:44:26] Look what I did for all the oppressed people in the world.

[00:44:31] I went back to the source.

[00:44:33] I found the white guy that created the patriarchy and I tricked him into thinking he was buried

[00:44:39] alive and then I raped him in a coffin.

[00:44:43] Hero, you did it.

[00:44:48] Yeah.

[00:44:49] And what do we go back in time?

[00:44:51] And it's a perfect society, but you have to fuck a bunch of those business guys.

[00:44:55] Yeah.

[00:44:56] Would you do it?

[00:44:57] Well, it depends how far back in time because there is a statute of limitations.

[00:45:01] It's to you, Mr. Robinson.

[00:45:03] I'm going to put you in a makeshift coffin and fuck your ass.

[00:45:07] I'm going to convince you that you're, you're suffocating the death six feet under the ground

[00:45:11] and then you get raped.

[00:45:13] Now do you just leave him?

[00:45:14] How do you get raped?

[00:45:15] You kill him or you?

[00:45:16] No, no, no, no.

[00:45:17] I mean, death would be you give it a couple years.

[00:45:21] So kill himself.

[00:45:22] Yeah.

[00:45:23] Death is would be exactly a cop out.

[00:45:25] Part of the punishment is he has to live with that forever.

[00:45:28] And that's what you get, pal, for doing redlining.

[00:45:32] Yeah.

[00:45:33] For making it so blacks couldn't live in middle class homes.

[00:45:35] Yeah.

[00:45:36] For being a racist.

[00:45:37] And that's why we raised it.

[00:45:38] I got a white picket fence for you right here.

[00:45:40] Mm-hmm.

[00:45:41] Like Dick and Ball in the day.

[00:45:42] The one that they fucking tied Matthew Shepard up to.

[00:45:45] For the people like you did that.

[00:45:48] Yeah.

[00:45:49] That's crazy, bro.

[00:45:51] He speaks French tie and some pigeon.

[00:45:53] He's married to Pamela G. Schmall and his two children.

[00:45:56] The ambassador?

[00:45:57] Ambassador?

[00:45:58] James F.N.

[00:45:59] Twistle.

[00:46:00] Who?

[00:46:01] James F.N.

[00:46:02] Basketer than Nigeria.

[00:46:03] Who's the former United States ambassador in Nigeria?

[00:46:06] Oh, he's not anymore?

[00:46:07] It's going to time to remind you guys that if you go to macwell.com, you can pick up some

[00:46:12] rape, poof underwear.

[00:46:14] Jesus Christ.

[00:46:15] Oh, Macwell does not even enjoy you.

[00:46:18] I'll not get raped.

[00:46:19] You might not know.

[00:46:20] Macwell makes only a promise about you whether or not you really need a promise.

[00:46:25] No promises about the whether or not.

[00:46:27] Look, if whatever, look, we're sorry that happened to you.

[00:46:31] But we didn't actually say that that's how the end of it.

[00:46:36] Well, and listen.

[00:46:37] Macwell.com believes in smart design, premium fabrics and simple shopping.

[00:46:41] That's what I like.

[00:46:44] Simple shopping.

[00:46:46] Simple shopping.

[00:46:47] Simple Steven here for simple shopping.

[00:46:49] Oh, God.

[00:46:50] Yep.

[00:46:51] I got a special computer that only has four buttons on it.

[00:46:56] And three of them take you to Macwell and Docile.

[00:46:58] One of them is for new underwear, which obviously I need because I misjudged my own independence.

[00:47:05] I thought maybe I was ready for underwear.

[00:47:10] But I go through those things like cigarettes.

[00:47:12] They kind of underwear is kind of like Pringles for me.

[00:47:17] Once you shit one pair, you just get stuff.

[00:47:21] There's no retarded guy that's like, man, I shit an entire box underwear.

[00:47:31] Stevie's birthday party was crazy.

[00:47:33] I've just binge watched blues clues and shit entire box underwear.

[00:47:40] Macwell.com simple shopping.

[00:47:42] Check them out.

[00:47:43] Super easy.

[00:47:44] You go on there.

[00:47:46] You just check them out.

[00:47:49] I love checking out these websites.

[00:47:51] Me too, man.

[00:47:52] I really like it a lot.

[00:47:53] I love checking them out.

[00:47:54] One of my favorite things to do is go on a website, see what they got in.

[00:47:57] Just really, just really check out this.

[00:47:59] Yeah.

[00:48:00] They got a hyperlinks.

[00:48:01] Surfing the web.

[00:48:02] Click on every hyperlinks.

[00:48:04] Hyperlinks.

[00:48:05] Web rings.

[00:48:06] Surfing the web.

[00:48:07] Checking out websites.

[00:48:08] Macwell.com is one of my favorites.

[00:48:11] I open up my internet browser and my homepage comes up.

[00:48:17] What's that?

[00:48:18] Likehost.com.

[00:48:19] Search engine.

[00:48:20] It's got a dog on there.

[00:48:22] Beautiful.

[00:48:23] Oh, yeah.

[00:48:24] With a spot.

[00:48:25] Right.

[00:48:26] A spot.

[00:48:27] And now I know one thing's concerned.

[00:48:28] You can't trust anything you read on the internet.

[00:48:29] For sure.

[00:48:30] Anyone can put anything they want on this.

[00:48:31] So true.

[00:48:32] But I check out websites and one of the ones I've recently checked out was geocities.com

[00:48:37] slash Mackeweltin.

[00:48:41] You know, don't let all of the dancing lizards in the background and the shit that follows

[00:48:46] your mouse around.

[00:48:47] Yeah.

[00:48:48] Yeah.

[00:48:49] Yeah.

[00:48:50] Yeah.

[00:48:51] Yeah.

[00:48:52] Yeah.

[00:48:53] Yeah.

[00:48:54] Yeah.

[00:48:55] Yeah.

[00:48:56] Yeah.

[00:48:57] Yeah.

[00:48:58] Yeah.

[00:48:59] Yeah.

[00:49:00] Yeah.

[00:49:01] Yeah.

[00:49:02] Yeah.

[00:49:03] Yeah.

[00:49:04] Yeah.

[00:49:05] Yeah.

[00:49:06] Yeah.

[00:49:07] Yeah.

[00:49:08] Yeah.

[00:49:09] Yeah.

[00:49:10] Yeah.

[00:49:11] Yeah.

[00:49:12] Yeah.

[00:49:13] Yeah.

[00:49:14] Yeah.

[00:49:15] Yeah.

[00:49:16] Yeah.

[00:49:17] Yeah.

[00:49:18] Yeah.

[00:49:19] Yeah.

[00:49:20] Yeah.

[00:49:21] Yeah.

[00:49:22] Yeah.

[00:49:23] Yeah.

[00:49:24] Yeah.

[00:49:25] Excuse me.

[00:49:26] It was silver ion.

[00:49:27] No, no, it's not silver.

[00:49:29] What?

[00:49:30] Anti-microbial.

[00:49:31] Are you joking around silver line?

[00:49:33] Silver line.

[00:49:34] I'm not going to fuck this read up Adam?

[00:49:36] Yeah.

[00:49:37] What are you talking about?

[00:49:38] Why are you trying to fuck this read up?

[00:49:39] People pay money for this man.

[00:49:40] I was just trying to answer it.

[00:49:41] You're being disrespectful to our corporate partners.

[00:49:44] Our corporate partner, beloved partner, Mac Weldon, who has been with us from the beginning.

[00:49:48] They have never flinched.

[00:49:50] Unlike you, who have requested quietly to quit the show numerous times.

[00:49:56] But you won't be able to put back.

[00:49:58] He said all I'm asking for is 50% of the profits for the rest of my life.

[00:50:03] You're asked for that.

[00:50:05] And you're just not happy with the $40 an episode you get paid, man.

[00:50:09] I really appreciate the $40.

[00:50:11] That's more than a fair way.

[00:50:12] And I said if I could pay my way to Australia, I'd love to hang out with you guys on tour.

[00:50:19] But you know, we told you, we kind of got our...

[00:50:23] I took East China Air here.

[00:50:25] It was...

[00:50:26] You were in the freight.

[00:50:27] You were in the boat.

[00:50:28] You were in the freight section of a boat that came here.

[00:50:30] We did Tai Chi halfway through the flight.

[00:50:32] That Chinese airline has got to be so goddamn funny.

[00:50:35] I know.

[00:50:36] To inflate me, it was just like a live rat.

[00:50:39] Just in case.

[00:50:40] And you're like, excuse me.

[00:50:42] What a...

[00:50:43] How do I even eat this?

[00:50:44] Oh, yes.

[00:50:45] And then they just come back with a blowtorch.

[00:50:47] Oh, it's Flambe.

[00:50:49] Very nice.

[00:50:50] Oh, American style.

[00:50:52] Cooked.

[00:50:53] Mac Weldon's got a line of silver, naturally, antimicrobial shirts and underwear, which means

[00:50:57] that they reduce odor by doing something...

[00:51:00] Sucky your cock, what you...

[00:51:01] Yeah, I guess they do something like that.

[00:51:04] They got their soda by sucking your cock.

[00:51:08] And they got cool shit on there, man.

[00:51:10] They got crewnecks.

[00:51:11] It's almost crewnecks season back in New York, which I will never return to.

[00:51:14] I bought an international toilet.

[00:51:15] We're still on the road forever.

[00:51:16] Where expats.

[00:51:17] Until I finally find, you know, building a nice view and I take a look over the edge.

[00:51:25] And I say, you know what?

[00:51:26] This is it.

[00:51:27] This is where it happened.

[00:51:28] Honestly.

[00:51:29] Why fucking wait.

[00:51:31] And then you know what happens at the bottom?

[00:51:32] Splat!

[00:51:33] No, no splat.

[00:51:34] Blammo!

[00:51:35] No.

[00:51:36] Do you know what happens?

[00:51:37] Fucking lights out.

[00:51:38] And the only thing you go into one of those suicide, the fire department, air-filled suicide

[00:51:45] landing things.

[00:51:47] We all give you a round of applause and we're all wearing tuxedos.

[00:51:50] I feel like if I got gamed and I fell on something, if you drove me to actual suicide

[00:51:55] and I landed on one of those things, I'd be like, I still just want to kill myself.

[00:52:00] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:52:01] More so now.

[00:52:02] That's so much more embarrassing.

[00:52:03] Yeah.

[00:52:04] Is that what happened to the game?

[00:52:05] Yeah.

[00:52:06] They trick him into killing himself and then he's like, they're like, gotcha.

[00:52:09] And he's like, wow, thanks.

[00:52:11] Thanks you guys.

[00:52:12] That's crazy.

[00:52:13] Who plays his brother?

[00:52:14] Michael Douglas' brother?

[00:52:15] Sean Penn.

[00:52:16] Sean Penn.

[00:52:17] That's right.

[00:52:18] It's a game, Connie.

[00:52:20] They're playing a game with you.

[00:52:22] That's a good Michael.

[00:52:24] I'm gay.

[00:52:25] I'm saying I'm gay.

[00:52:29] Damn dude, God is that.

[00:52:36] Are you telling me that I'm gay?

[00:52:42] He, they trick him into killing himself?

[00:52:44] Yeah.

[00:52:45] They trick him into, it's Connie.

[00:52:46] They're trying to make me suck their dick.

[00:52:49] He keeps saying anything.

[00:52:50] But the movie ends with him on his knees sucking some guy's cock.

[00:52:53] Is this what you want?

[00:52:55] This is a part of the game, Michael.

[00:52:57] This is how your game ends because I'll do it.

[00:53:03] He's just sucking off a homeless guy.

[00:53:05] And then he takes off, is a prosthetic cock.

[00:53:08] But he rubbed his real cock on it so it tastes like cock.

[00:53:11] If there's one thing I want, it's to suck cock for my 42nd birthday.

[00:53:16] Yeah, what is it?

[00:53:17] It's like a, that was the age my dad died when he came out of the closet.

[00:53:23] He was struggling with things ever since.

[00:53:25] Michael Douglas is tricky.

[00:53:27] He's tricky?

[00:53:28] Yeah, because he just sounds like a guy.

[00:53:30] No, you were doing it good.

[00:53:31] Just now.

[00:53:32] I was doing what?

[00:53:35] What was I doing?

[00:53:37] You were doing Michael Douglas.

[00:53:38] Is this it?

[00:53:39] Yeah, it's good.

[00:53:41] Okay.

[00:53:42] That fucking sucks, dude.

[00:53:43] If anyone ever plays mind games with me, I'll fucking, I'll take a hatchet to their

[00:53:47] balls.

[00:53:48] Oh, I've been playing mind games since you.

[00:53:50] Nah, dude.

[00:53:51] It's a 12 month project.

[00:53:52] Use go to macwold.com and use promo code.

[00:53:54] Come town.

[00:53:55] To receive 20% off your order.

[00:53:57] And if you don't like the underwear, you can suck my cock.

[00:54:01] Michael Douglas.

[00:54:02] Or you could also, Michael Douglas here.

[00:54:04] Ask me.

[00:54:05] Get your money back.

[00:54:06] Hey, this is Michael Douglas and I'm here for macwolden.com.

[00:54:10] This is officially Michael Douglas, the actual actor.

[00:54:13] Wow, okay.

[00:54:14] Get me on com town.

[00:54:16] This is not an impersonation.

[00:54:18] It's the real Michael Douglas.

[00:54:19] And Michael was just telling me off Mike.

[00:54:21] Ever since I got an out of cancer.

[00:54:23] Better than him.

[00:54:25] Ever since Catherine left me for some guy who doesn't have mouth cancer, I knew I was

[00:54:32] going to need new underwear.

[00:54:34] And so I went use promo code, comtown, at macwolden.com and I received 20% off my order.

[00:54:44] And the ones you didn't like, Michael, you just, I shoved them in Catherine's pussy.

[00:54:49] And they didn't even ask for him back.

[00:54:50] You could put them right in that pussy that call them up.

[00:54:53] The HPV written pussy.

[00:54:54] And who wouldn't ask for those back?

[00:54:56] I would ask for them.

[00:54:57] And this is the idea I thought I got dick cancer from wearing macwolden underwear.

[00:55:01] And I'm told that that's not true.

[00:55:02] But I am now endorsing them again.

[00:55:06] Macwolden definitely was like if he dick cancer.

[00:55:07] Macwolden.com does not give you dick cancer.

[00:55:10] So I'll have it over.

[00:55:13] Select cities, macwolden.com does not give you dick cancer.

[00:55:18] Don't like the underwear you can keep it.

[00:55:19] No questions asked.

[00:55:20] That's right.

[00:55:21] Put it in Catherine's data zones is pussy.

[00:55:22] I'm gay.

[00:55:23] I'm gay.

[00:55:24] Hi, I'm Michael Douglas and I'm a gay actor.

[00:55:30] Hi, I'm gay actor Michael Douglas.

[00:55:36] Rose did.

[00:55:37] Here for live aid.

[00:55:39] Hi, I'm gay actor John Hamm.

[00:55:46] No, I can't do John.

[00:55:47] I am hungry.

[00:55:48] I'm about them and I'm gay.

[00:55:50] Who's that?

[00:55:51] That's Javier Bardem.

[00:55:52] Javier Bardem.

[00:55:53] Javier Bardem.

[00:55:54] Javier Bardem.

[00:55:55] I'm gay.

[00:55:56] Don't put it in your pocket where it becomes just another used condom.

[00:56:01] Which it is.

[00:56:03] You know what today is friend though.

[00:56:07] Today is the day you become gay.

[00:56:11] I am gay actor.

[00:56:15] Javier Bardem.

[00:56:18] Flip it.

[00:56:19] Flip my card.

[00:56:21] Call it.

[00:56:22] Well, how can I call it if I don't know what I'm calling?

[00:56:25] You're calling whether or not you're gay.

[00:56:28] But I'm not gay.

[00:56:30] Yeah.

[00:56:31] But I'm not gay.

[00:56:32] Yes, you are.

[00:56:35] But I haven't even called again.

[00:56:36] Look, shut up.

[00:56:37] I do the mind game.

[00:56:39] Don't call me out.

[00:56:41] How do you do Woody Harrelshin?

[00:56:44] Is he something?

[00:56:45] Yeah, he's got a wolf.

[00:56:47] Yeah, listen, this guy Anton Shaguri is gay.

[00:56:51] Wait, Woody Harrelshin wasn't that movie?

[00:56:53] Yeah, he was.

[00:56:54] He was the cop.

[00:56:55] Yeah.

[00:56:56] Llewellins, I think I got him.

[00:56:59] He was?

[00:57:00] I can avoid this guy.

[00:57:01] Oh, wait.

[00:57:02] No, no.

[00:57:03] Tommy Lee Jones is the cop.

[00:57:04] Who is Woody?

[00:57:05] Woody is the other bounty hunter.

[00:57:06] The other bounty hunter.

[00:57:07] Yeah, yeah.

[00:57:08] Does he get got?

[00:57:09] And Llewellins is in bed and he's like, I think I can avoid this guy.

[00:57:13] Right.

[00:57:14] He gets hired by the club.

[00:57:15] You don't understand this.

[00:57:17] Yeah.

[00:57:18] Who's that company that hires him?

[00:57:19] I don't know, man.

[00:57:20] I'm trying to figure out the impressions just so I can say I'm gay is Woody Harrelshin.

[00:57:24] Just give this shit what happens in the movie.

[00:57:27] It's a good movie.

[00:57:28] I'm trying to.

[00:57:29] I don't know.

[00:57:30] I have never tried a Woody Harrelshin impression.

[00:57:32] Just do it.

[00:57:33] I'm gay.

[00:57:34] What are you like?

[00:57:35] What are you?

[00:57:36] Some kind of gay guy I can't do it now because you've interrupted me so many times.

[00:57:40] I'm sorry if you interrupt.

[00:57:41] You can't do it because you're a bad man.

[00:57:42] I would apologize.

[00:57:43] No, it's like you just don't understand the fucking process in terms of doing impressions.

[00:57:47] What process?

[00:57:48] Dude, it's a delicate process.

[00:57:50] You have to like really have empathy for the character.

[00:57:52] Tell me about the process.

[00:57:54] What's your process like that?

[00:57:55] Dude, I look, I'm the only one of us that's a professional actor.

[00:57:58] Okay.

[00:57:59] That's not true.

[00:58:00] So these guys are called gay and make fun of.

[00:58:02] I like, I have empathy for you.

[00:58:04] You have respect.

[00:58:05] I have respect.

[00:58:06] Professional respect.

[00:58:07] I'm a professional actor too.

[00:58:08] Hi, I'm gay actor.

[00:58:09] My own person.

[00:58:10] I'm gay.

[00:58:11] This is gay actor Michael Donas.

[00:58:16] Let's see, where are some other actors we can call gay?

[00:58:28] Hey, I'm gay actor Steven Dorff.

[00:58:32] Steven Dorff gay actor here.

[00:58:34] I'm gay how?

[00:58:35] Gay like a fag?

[00:58:36] Yeah.

[00:58:37] That's Joe Pesci.

[00:58:38] Joe Pesci.

[00:58:39] You guys, some kind of some kind of queer?

[00:58:41] That's not, I don't even remember what has to sound like.

[00:58:45] No.

[00:58:46] Why do you do like, what am I saying?

[00:58:48] I'm a weird what?

[00:58:50] You do it bitch.

[00:58:51] Which actor?

[00:58:52] Any actor.

[00:58:53] No just name one and then I'll do it.

[00:58:55] Any impression of any actor.

[00:58:57] You got to tell me name and any single just do any.

[00:59:00] I'm a man of 10,000 in press.

[00:59:01] Literally and literally any.

[00:59:03] No, no.

[00:59:04] That's I, I asked you to name one.

[00:59:08] in order to caprio of course and what do I have to say to these guys I don't know you

[00:59:14] do it man take it away Rose don't you understand I'm gay but I love you but I'm gay but I'm

[00:59:23] gay and then she sinks the ship with her huge I was gonna say that but next I okay here's

[00:59:30] another one cool cool that you're going to say something that I said okay um the Dennis

[00:59:36] Hopper Dennis Hopper of course easy about Dennis Bob hey man I'm gay man I'm gay brother

[00:59:45] of gay man and your Dennis Hopper and no that's a fine dance listen Ian and Mark

[00:59:52] Mary and got it from the hop he was the original man all right Denzel Washington

[00:59:57] Dennis Hopper dick right I'm a gay man also you're Morgan and I am gay man

[01:00:06] I'm frickin gay man you like having gay sex Jake that's good another thing about gay

[01:00:14] sex Jake it smells like Ponce all Jake you know what gay sex smells like Jake it

[01:00:21] smells like Ponce all Jake what was in that that was calm oh I didn't know you

[01:00:27] liked the smoke calm Jake it's not about what you know it's about what you can prove

[01:00:35] that's a good round of factors I can't really do Denzel either no no that was

[01:00:45] that was great it's this manner serviceable cadence but yeah I do female actors

[01:00:51] better I go yeah yeah yeah you're doing a great Scarlett Johansson right now yeah

[01:00:55] thank you you sound just like her I appreciate that you do Juliet Julianne

[01:01:01] Moore Julianne Moore Wow that's incredible you just said her name like she would say

[01:01:05] what whoa thank you damn dude he's really good do Richard Simmons Richard Spencer

[01:01:13] whoa no no Richard Simmons oh yeah yeah that's you no no no don't do yourself

[01:01:21] yeah stop toning it down Adam go ahead

[01:01:28] whoa that's a good thing I'm gay actor Michael Douglas hi I'm gay actor Michael

[01:01:40] Dada hi I'm gay actor Michael Dada

[01:01:47] hi I'm gay after Michael Dada was here for the victims of Hurricane Katrina

[01:01:52] my boyfriend I'm here with my boyfriend race

[01:02:01] this is a regular guy famous guy this is some 18 year old guy

[01:02:08] holy hands with Michael I briefly stopped kissing my boyfriend to bring

[01:02:15] a important message to you hi I'm gay actor Michael Douglas here with my

[01:02:21] boyfriend who I briefly stopped kissing the raise money for me of hurricane

[01:02:27] Michael

[01:02:34] take that Michael Douglas and that was a delightful message from gay actor Michael

[01:02:39] does

[01:02:42] just Kirk Douglas to around yeah yes he's like he's like a hundred and fourteen

[01:02:47] years old yes he looks horrible he's a hundred and one years old I'm gonna go

[01:02:51] fuck his old arctic yes he's alive suck dick took his yeah we did we did

[01:03:02] charlton haston earlier yeah yeah yeah the mean Chinese of being no more right

[01:03:08] yeah me want to sucky sucky did you say take this cock from my cold dead hands

[01:03:20] I didn't but you can say that if you want that was mine just kidding just

[01:03:27] kidding is the hashtag just kidding movement the answer to me to more to

[01:03:33] eleven men pretending to rape women no it's not okay one reporters

[01:03:41] please not we told you not to do this story what reporter has been talking

[01:03:45] about that squirrel that's trapped in a vent at the school toddler was gone has

[01:03:51] gone missing in southeast this afternoon and also is the me to movement

[01:03:55] not Jim okay I just wanted to test the waters out maybe some of our viewers want

[01:04:00] to chime in call in if you think the me to movement has gone too far take calls

[01:04:03] this is a new show june he's right to do with it it's gonna be a sunny 72 degrees

[01:04:11] in bomberville this week with highs in the 80s and a 60% chance of

[01:04:17] precipitation many people are wondering has the me to move it 100%

[01:04:23] chance of on a completely baseless accusations being levied against the

[01:04:27] low weather and then and just like we're just gonna go ahead and say this real

[01:04:31] quick it might snow this week and maybe luissica should be allowed to do

[01:04:36] sponsored there has to be a chance for redemption don't cut my mic

[01:04:43] hi I'm gay actor Michael Douglas here for the hashtag me too is going to fall

[01:04:49] as a gay man I don't really care that we're getting raped I'm gay and it doesn't affect me

[01:05:02] I'm HIV negative gay actor Michael Bugless

[01:05:23] Michael Bugless folks well if you want to hear classics like Michael Bugless you

[01:05:32] got a you gotta come to the lot shows and you got to subscribe to the scribe to

[01:05:36] our motherfucking patreon patreon.com slash com if you don't subscribe there

[01:05:40] are literally as many episodes as we have done we have done that many a

[01:05:45] patreon so there's a huge backlog if you're not subscribed please subscribe to

[01:05:48] that yeah we didn't the money is going up again because we didn't realize that

[01:05:52] people just don't know we have a patreon yeah and it was hard to search for

[01:05:55] us on patreon and we got the label off so please if you like this stuff it

[01:06:01] really a lot of people don't understand that this show has huge overhead we have

[01:06:07] a research team you got to spend money to make it look I spent all week with these

[01:06:12] poor poor fucking college kids and I'm like find me all of the dumbest Nigerian

[01:06:17] businesses I want to find sandals that are made out of ice cream find me that

[01:06:22] businessman they're like I don't think that exists yeah and I was like why and

[01:06:26] they're like because it's just racist mr. Mullen and then I just beat that boy

[01:06:31] silly that's right in front of the entire conference room and I said nobody's

[01:06:34] allowed to play rock band anymore for the week I'm taking away look I spent

[01:06:40] nine thousand dollars a day on this startup office yep we have six floors

[01:06:44] in midtown insane researching interns and half of them are playing rock band

[01:06:49] and playing ping pong half the time we have a nap room stand up desk a segue

[01:06:55] with a built-in espresso machine you ride the segue around make yourself a

[01:06:59] little espresso drink yep anyways that costs well over 40,000 the segue can't

[01:07:04] do stairs so you're gonna use your legs to use the stairs and then there's

[01:07:08] another segue at the bottom just that video that escalator breaking so good

[01:07:12] hilarious fucking dumb Italian yeah

[01:07:36] so yeah again that's the kind of stuff you could pay before it's most of it is

[01:07:41] in Italian and Vietnamese a lot of people don't know I speak Vietnamese oh

[01:07:45] yeah think bok kong gao du pang gao beng dik bao beng dik bao beng dik bao beng

[01:07:51] it's like just it's sort of more of the most the most like pinball of the

[01:07:55] Chinese languages that's right yeah that's right it's the most Chinese

[01:07:59] some don't bengo that's Vietnamese this is the bok bong gao gong dong dong dong

[01:08:03] KING Baong gao beng dik wow wow I didn't know you could rap D

[01:08:30] So yeah, listen to that Melbourne babies you motherfuckers this Friday come out

[01:08:35] We're gonna be a baby dick earnings

[01:08:39] Oh good night

[01:08:41] Hey, welcome to baby dick Annie's

[01:08:45] Home of kayak to Michael's

[01:08:49] It's like my wife my mom whenever he's out of America he comes on down to baby dick Annie's

[01:08:55] He's a baby cam. It's his favorite. I will also be in Brisbane

[01:09:02] Brisbane on Sunday Sunday the 28th. Please buy tickets to that

[01:09:06] I will be

[01:09:08] What are we should say?

[01:09:10] All right, motherfucker hold on we're gonna be a national fuck on you

[01:09:14] It'll be a Nashville on the 11th over here looking at pictures of the man from Alvin and she I haven't been looking at a pictures in

[01:09:20] At least 24 hours. It'll be in Nashville. We're gonna be in on the 11th November. We're gonna be in

[01:09:27] Maybe

[01:09:31] We're gonna be in Charlotte on the 13th and Atlanta on Wednesday the 14th

[01:09:37] Do a little run through the south that after we did this tour is gonna be pretty gay probably we're going to it's gonna be

[01:09:44] We're going to cancel all of the show we're really thinking about we're probably going to cancel the show

[01:09:55] Fuck all of our fans in those cities before Atlanta we're not gonna land it before I think it's I don't know

[01:10:01] It's I don't remember maybe it's a boy. It's to do it the other way

[01:10:04] Well, I don't fucking know dude. It's on my website if you wanted to look guys

[01:10:07] I'll be dawdly dobs I'll also be in like a movie theater or some shit in Long Island

[01:10:14] They got a little front area where they do comedy strong. J Island strong. Jollyn on November 30th

[01:10:20] Please come out to that. That's also my website and then

[01:10:24] DC I will be headlining a full weekend at the DC draft house for shows to on Friday the 7th to on Saturday

[01:10:31] The 8th come out to those and then I'm doing a little run in

[01:10:34] In Indianapolis on the 14th

[01:10:38] Columbus on the 15th and Cincinnati on the 16th so come out or I think I fucked that up

[01:10:43] Indy on the 13th

[01:10:45] Columbus on the 15th

[01:10:47] since he on the 5th fuck just look at my website man

[01:10:50] I'll be at those cities and

[01:10:53] International tour international tour we literally won't be in New York to all along poor Malaysia fucking Croatia

[01:11:01] split Croatia

[01:11:03] Going to Greece do bro. We're going to go to Russia. We're going to Ukraine. Don't ask don't tell baby

[01:11:09] Mm-hmm. We're going and I have to register as a Jew when I get there. Do you?

[01:11:13] Yeah, love the SS in Ukraine

[01:11:17] No, they do dude. I don't know if that was true

[01:11:20] I think it's a Ukrainian SS that like after the war they were still like no, but they're good. They're the best one

[01:11:26] Pretty cool guy. I think they're pretty cool guy. Yeah

[01:11:29] But to me they're good

[01:11:34] Especially the ones that killed the Friedland family

[01:11:37] That what didn't happen in the Ukraine. It happened there in Ukraine. Yes, it did

[01:11:43] Yes, it did

[01:11:45] I'm gay actor Michael Douglas and I'm here for their hi. I'm gay actor Michael Douglas

[01:11:50] And it did in fact happen in Ukraine. No, it's the Friedlands were all killed

[01:11:56] And they weren't Friedland shut up. My name is gay actor

[01:12:05] Yeah, I'm glad that's happy that people died

[01:12:11] Well silver linings people that would have probably been hi. I'm gay actor friends of mine. Listen. I'm happy that people died

[01:12:17] All right, good night. Bye. Bye