[00:00:00] Oh, oh!

[00:00:03] Hello and welcome to the pussy radio hour

[00:00:06] Where I, the British guy, will be telling you about the types of pussy that I've seen

[00:00:14] We're starting first with Adam Friedland's pussy

[00:00:18] It's little and it smells like corn beef. That's right it is little.

[00:00:24] It's tight, but it's just little up front and then in the back it gets really wide

[00:00:29] How's that work?

[00:00:31] It's like an asshole. I mean it's small.

[00:00:33] It's very small inside.

[00:00:35] It's very spacious.

[00:00:39] So me and my friends hold them down and we fuck his ass

[00:00:43] and we breach the little pod

[00:00:45] and then we fuck the main pod inside

[00:00:50] What is this big?

[00:00:52] It's like sort of David Attrow doing a push.

[00:00:55] Yeah, maybe. I don't know man.

[00:00:57] It's a show called Pussy Radio.

[00:00:59] Yeah, Pussy.

[00:01:01] We're just describing all the types of pussy.

[00:01:03] I thought everyone would kind of jump in faster, you know.

[00:01:05] No, next back on Twitter.

[00:01:07] I was, yeah, no, I'm not back on Twitter. I was trying to find that song.

[00:01:09] Everybody get my penis.

[00:01:11] Everybody having gay ass sex.

[00:01:13] Everybody get my penis.

[00:01:15] Everybody get my penis.

[00:01:17] Everybody get my penis.

[00:01:19] Everybody get your penis.

[00:01:21] Everybody get your penis.

[00:01:23] What's going on man? You can't figure it out.

[00:01:25] There we go.

[00:01:27] Too many fucking wives.

[00:01:29] That's not my damn tubes tied over here.

[00:01:31] We did a really good joke.

[00:01:33] I think we should re-say it for the pod.

[00:01:35] What's that?

[00:01:37] You said it where it was called Reiner.

[00:01:41] Oh yeah.

[00:01:43] This is Carl Diner and then we serve one thing.

[00:01:45] It's my dick and his old ass.

[00:01:47] You did a good joke.

[00:01:49] Boy, they've been better if it happened in the moment.

[00:01:51] Yeah, but I know.

[00:01:53] I know that it would have been better,

[00:01:55] but it had to be saved for the record,

[00:01:57] for posterity sake.

[00:01:59] I guess nothing can be for us.

[00:02:01] No.

[00:02:03] I swear to God I didn't stop him because it didn't make sense,

[00:02:05] but I swear to God I saw Christopher Walkett in the Newark airport.

[00:02:09] How do you look?

[00:02:11] Like shit.

[00:02:13] Damn, my man's fine in the Newark?

[00:02:15] I guess it could have been just an old man who lives in Newark.

[00:02:19] That is a hot rob of him.

[00:02:21] That is a very hot rob of him.

[00:02:23] I mean it looked exactly like that.

[00:02:25] That's so cool.

[00:02:27] The king.

[00:02:29] Beautiful day here in Newark.

[00:02:31] Yeah, I guess I hear your most of you Christopher Walkett's voice.

[00:02:35] Yeah, yes.

[00:02:37] I was wondering if anywhere I hear a Newark,

[00:02:39] there was a place to acquire gay sex.

[00:02:43] I want to know if a fellow like me could perhaps

[00:02:49] make an acquaintance of another wise guy

[00:02:53] and spend some time with him.

[00:02:57] Maybe in a bathroom perhaps.

[00:03:01] I've been walking in forever.

[00:03:03] It's hard to get into.

[00:03:05] Is that what you call gay guys?

[00:03:07] What gay guys call each other wise guys?

[00:03:09] You know, it's a thing we call each other.

[00:03:11] It's part of a family.

[00:03:13] It's part of a family.

[00:03:15] This thing of ours.

[00:03:17] You see a gay man has 472 tells.

[00:03:21] A woman has 16.

[00:03:23] A gay man has 472.

[00:03:25] The Sicilians are born faggots.

[00:03:29] The Sicilian can always tell another gay man.

[00:03:35] Wait, is that his line?

[00:03:37] I don't remember that movie.

[00:03:39] Yeah, there he goes.

[00:03:41] The Sicilians are born liars.

[00:03:43] Every man has 28 tells.

[00:03:45] A woman has 25.

[00:03:47] A man has 22.

[00:03:49] Does this catch me if you can?

[00:03:51] No, it's true romance.

[00:03:53] It'll catch me if you can.

[00:03:55] You want to just a field?

[00:03:57] Yeah, I remember that.

[00:03:59] And then Dennis Hopper drops a lot of N-bomb.

[00:04:01] That was written by Trentino, right?

[00:04:03] You're part eggplant.

[00:04:05] Yeah.

[00:04:07] You're part eggplant.

[00:04:09] I can't do Dennis Hopper.

[00:04:11] I can barely do walking anymore.

[00:04:13] Pretty good.

[00:04:15] Yeah, but I mean everyone used to do walking,

[00:04:17] so it was a guy you just didn't do.

[00:04:19] Two mice.

[00:04:21] I can't do it at all.

[00:04:23] A duck walks into a bar.

[00:04:25] He says, put it on my bill.

[00:04:27] I thought there was more.

[00:04:29] No, no, that's the...

[00:04:31] I'm gay.

[00:04:33] That's the entire line.

[00:04:35] The last bill passed.

[00:04:37] There's one thing I love.

[00:04:39] It's hot, Dr. Pepper.

[00:04:41] I'm a wild watch.

[00:04:43] I'm in my ass.

[00:04:45] For four years.

[00:04:47] Shoutout, young Christopher Walken

[00:04:49] looked like Angelina Jolie.

[00:04:51] You guys seen that meme?

[00:04:53] Beautiful day here in the Newark couple.

[00:04:55] Was he in Deer Hunter?

[00:04:57] He was, but I'm talking even younger.

[00:04:59] I thought that was one of his first things.

[00:05:01] Yeah, but I'm talking younger.

[00:05:03] I originally wrote the script for Deer Hunter.

[00:05:05] It was called Deer Humpa,

[00:05:07] and it was about a man who has sex

[00:05:09] in Russian, Pennsylvania.

[00:05:11] She was like, what's her name?

[00:05:15] A Meryl was looking like a dime back then, bro.

[00:05:17] Yeah.

[00:05:19] When she was married to the Frito.

[00:05:21] Meryl could get sliced up back then.

[00:05:23] Oh, absolutely.

[00:05:25] I would love to just take a hunting...

[00:05:27] The katana right to her.

[00:05:29] Slash your fucking face up.

[00:05:31] Just punching her wildly in the chest.

[00:05:33] Yeah, and this all means sex, by the way.

[00:05:35] This doesn't mean...

[00:05:37] I thought that's what you were using.

[00:05:39] Just fucking...

[00:05:41] Wham! Just feeling the hilt of a big hunting knife.

[00:05:45] Just fucking smack against her sternum

[00:05:47] as I sink that blade right into her fucking mouth.

[00:05:49] Wow.

[00:05:51] You're talking about...

[00:05:53] I just like it.

[00:05:55] It just makes the sex better.

[00:05:57] Yeah, that makes sense.

[00:06:01] Everybody get your penis hard.

[00:06:03] Everybody get your penis hard.

[00:06:05] It's pretty good.

[00:06:07] It's pretty good.

[00:06:09] Too bad Frito died of healing cancer.

[00:06:11] Yeah, that sucks.

[00:06:13] Who was that?

[00:06:15] Cavalli, John Cavalli?

[00:06:17] Yeah, in the four...

[00:06:19] John Cavacier.

[00:06:21] John Cavacier.

[00:06:23] Mr. Forehead himself.

[00:06:25] The last thing he did before he died

[00:06:27] invented the drink, Cavacier.

[00:06:29] And his legacy lives on to this day.

[00:06:31] Did white people ever buy that drink?

[00:06:33] Was that ever for white people?

[00:06:35] Probably like in the 40s, maybe.

[00:06:37] Maybe.

[00:06:39] 1920s or something.

[00:06:41] What about Hennessy?

[00:06:43] Do you think white people are ever into that?

[00:06:45] Yeah. You think so?

[00:06:47] What about Grand Marnier?

[00:06:49] Oh, white people are still into that today.

[00:06:51] Really? Oh yeah.

[00:06:53] I only associate that with Tony Woods

[00:06:55] because he used to get shots of...

[00:06:57] Orangeliqueur.

[00:06:59] Shout out to Tony Woods.

[00:07:01] I forgot what fucking reads we're supposed to do.

[00:07:03] I thought I had them all marked down.

[00:07:05] Take your time, pal.

[00:07:07] In the meantime, I'll tell everybody about

[00:07:09] I made a big-ass chili

[00:07:11] on...

[00:07:13] What was it, Sunday?

[00:07:15] You guys ever make a chili? It's therapeutic, dude.

[00:07:17] Do you have a slow cooker?

[00:07:19] You got one of them Instapods?

[00:07:21] I do not.

[00:07:23] Everyone's talking about them.

[00:07:25] Fuck that shit.

[00:07:27] My shit goes on a pot and I simmer...

[00:07:29] Old school style.

[00:07:31] But the problem is I've been eating chili now for four days in a row.

[00:07:33] And my ass is a fucking...

[00:07:35] It's a casualty of that decision.

[00:07:37] Mm-hmm.

[00:07:39] Is there a food that really tears up your ass cheeks?

[00:07:41] Uh, plenty.

[00:07:43] Plenty of food.

[00:07:45] Lots of different foods.

[00:07:47] And other substances.

[00:07:49] I think I have hemorrhoids, by the way.

[00:07:51] I didn't know what they were, but my ass hurts.

[00:07:53] It's like a lump on your asshole or something?

[00:07:55] Is that what it is?

[00:07:57] I think so. That's all it is.

[00:07:58] It was.

[00:07:59] I think it's from sitting in the toilet too long.

[00:08:01] Yeah.

[00:08:02] And then you get, like, one of those rings.

[00:08:04] Because your boy just, can I be honest with you, I love setting up shopping at toilet.

[00:08:07] I like doing a 90-10, you know?

[00:08:09] 10%...

[00:08:10] I got a whole rig in there.

[00:08:12] I got Sim City going on in the toilet.

[00:08:14] Yeah, I noticed that.

[00:08:15] You had one of those...

[00:08:16] I max with the clear blue back.

[00:08:18] You got stuff like a whole thing that swivels down.

[00:08:21] I've got three monitors.

[00:08:22] Uh-huh.

[00:08:23] I get all my cities set up.

[00:08:24] That's...

[00:08:25] You do a lot of crypto in there, too.

[00:08:26] I'm Sim City.

[00:08:28] Just Sim City.

[00:08:29] Yeah, I'm the mayor of...

[00:08:30] Yeah, that's for recreational towns.

[00:08:32] And he's got three different cities going on each screen.

[00:08:34] Three different kind of one of the model after...

[00:08:36] Nolens?

[00:08:37] That's right.

[00:08:38] That's right.

[00:08:39] Nolens, Louisiana.

[00:08:41] Nolens, Maryland.

[00:08:43] Yeah.

[00:08:44] Oh, yeah.

[00:08:45] I love it on the water.

[00:08:46] Beautiful.

[00:08:47] That's six.

[00:08:48] The water.

[00:08:49] The water.

[00:08:50] It's completely landlocked.

[00:08:51] The first building was in 1983, the first post office.

[00:08:55] We quickly built a blockbuster video.

[00:08:58] We should buy water from property in Essex.

[00:09:01] Yeah.

[00:09:02] And open the Big Easy Cafe.

[00:09:04] Yeah.

[00:09:05] And do a New Orleans themed bar in southeastern Baltimore County.

[00:09:09] Yeah.

[00:09:10] Bordering Dundalk in the water.

[00:09:11] That'd be great, dude.

[00:09:12] What water is it?

[00:09:13] The Chesapeake Bay?

[00:09:14] I don't know.

[00:09:15] Yeah.

[00:09:16] Nobody knows.

[00:09:17] Actually, it's actually an interesting piece of trivia.

[00:09:19] No one knows any of the names of the body of water in Maryland.

[00:09:22] They've never been named.

[00:09:23] Really?

[00:09:24] Yeah.

[00:09:25] It's just called the ocean.

[00:09:27] Yeah.

[00:09:28] Dany ocean.

[00:09:29] Yeah.

[00:09:30] I stepped down the ocean.

[00:09:31] I stepped.

[00:09:32] I put my foot in an ocean pep on it.

[00:09:34] Any body water is a swimming pool.

[00:09:36] That's the ocean.

[00:09:37] Yeah.

[00:09:38] They got too much chlorine in this little piece of the ocean.

[00:09:40] In my backyard over here.

[00:09:41] I pulled the stick on the sink and then the ocean is in there.

[00:09:45] There's the ocean in the sink.

[00:09:47] Yeah.

[00:09:48] Why do they sell in bottles of ocean out of all form?

[00:09:50] Why does the skink got an ocean?

[00:09:53] Somebody made a stick.

[00:09:54] The ocean is a sink.

[00:09:55] The sink.

[00:09:56] The skink got an ocean.

[00:09:58] Yeah.

[00:09:59] It is fucking ocean tastes fucking weird.

[00:10:02] Yeah.

[00:10:03] Do you have any, what's that?

[00:10:05] It's like the brown ocean.

[00:10:07] Oh, you mean Coca-Cola?

[00:10:09] That's what I wanted.

[00:10:12] Mmm.

[00:10:13] This brown ocean is sweet.

[00:10:15] I hate regular ocean.

[00:10:16] It doesn't taste like anything.

[00:10:18] It's regular ocean.

[00:10:20] It tastes like a

[00:10:24] coconut.

[00:10:25] Oh, you mean Coca-Cola?

[00:10:28] Yeah.

[00:10:29] That's what I was talking about.

[00:10:31] Yeah.

[00:10:32] Yeah.

[00:10:33] Give me four Coca-Cola.

[00:10:34] Yeah.

[00:10:35] Damn.

[00:10:36] You're smart as fuck.

[00:10:37] Damn.

[00:10:38] You're sexy.

[00:10:39] Damn.

[00:10:40] Yeah.

[00:10:41] I love a smart one.

[00:10:42] I love a smart one.

[00:10:43] What are you like?

[00:10:44] 27?

[00:10:45] I'm 61.

[00:10:46] Yeah.

[00:10:47] That's you seem about in that window.

[00:10:48] Yeah.

[00:10:49] I love you.

[00:10:50] I love you.

[00:10:51] 62 year old vibe on you.

[00:10:54] Yeah.

[00:10:55] So anyway, do you want to go into my Chevy Cavalier and the back seat and have sats?

[00:11:02] Damn.

[00:11:03] You're pussy making so much ocean.

[00:11:06] Oh, sorry.

[00:11:07] I have to always do the ocean on the girl's face after I have sats with them.

[00:11:11] Sorry I got white ocean.

[00:11:13] All over your raven shirt.

[00:11:17] You're a super pole chain.

[00:11:20] Shurty, you are wearing, I see now, entirely as a dress.

[00:11:25] You've searched it with a belt in the middle.

[00:11:28] Yeah, you thought that was not a shirt but an entire dress to wear out of your house.

[00:11:34] With slippers you don't stole from the comfort in.

[00:11:38] Oh, God.

[00:11:41] Yeah.

[00:11:42] That's true.

[00:11:43] That's a very little known fact about Baltimore but everyone calls everybody.

[00:11:49] All water.

[00:11:50] Any kind of ocean.

[00:11:53] Damn dude.

[00:11:55] I'm saying so we are we moving?

[00:11:57] What are we doing Nick?

[00:11:59] What do you mean?

[00:12:00] The operation.

[00:12:01] Oh, yeah.

[00:12:02] We're moving.

[00:12:03] The operation is moving to Maryland.

[00:12:04] I have my I have my brief period of trying out cryptocurrency.

[00:12:08] Dray day trading didn't really work out over lost $60,000.

[00:12:13] That happens.

[00:12:18] You lose two down payments on a shitty house on an app on your phone the same way doing

[00:12:24] the same sensation you get while checking Twitter.

[00:12:27] Somehow you're down 60k just four college state school educations.

[00:12:34] More money than I've made in the entire, but the entirety of my life.

[00:12:39] I'm in the pie shop.

[00:12:42] It's a matter of days.

[00:12:47] Well, I think before we wait for the next real tip in the economy.

[00:12:52] No, it's happening.

[00:12:53] If you don't want to buy something and then have everything for.

[00:12:56] Shut up.

[00:12:57] Shut up.

[00:12:58] Shut up.

[00:12:59] Fuck you.

[00:13:00] That sounds like a reason.

[00:13:01] Fuck you, babe.

[00:13:02] I'm buying a house down there.

[00:13:04] I'm going to turn the basement into a studio and then we're going to start doing the podcast

[00:13:08] down there.

[00:13:09] And bands too.

[00:13:10] We'll have bands.

[00:13:11] We'll have band practice.

[00:13:12] We're going to have a good start there.

[00:13:14] We're going to move Dasha first.

[00:13:16] Dasha can come to me in my place.

[00:13:19] And then once I want to make sure she's comfortable.

[00:13:22] Yeah.

[00:13:23] And it's going to be a whole the transition will be the hardest for her.

[00:13:25] Yeah.

[00:13:26] And I don't know if she's a Baltimore.

[00:13:27] Oh, oh, she'll be both.

[00:13:29] She'll be both.

[00:13:30] She'll be both.

[00:13:32] I don't get it.

[00:13:33] She'll be taking care of down there.

[00:13:36] Don't you worry about that.

[00:13:40] She's going to have my back for my vacation.

[00:13:43] A real nice time down there.

[00:13:45] Why do you smell like the ocean?

[00:13:47] Adam.

[00:13:48] This is.

[00:13:49] I'm looking at me.

[00:13:50] It's a rude bit about my girlfriend cheating on me with you.

[00:13:53] Stop looking at me.

[00:13:55] We're just going to take her out to lunch and stuff.

[00:14:00] We didn't apply it on her face.

[00:14:02] No, we're saying she could use the podcast studio and then we take her to the beach.

[00:14:06] Yeah, dude.

[00:14:07] Ocean City, dude.

[00:14:08] Ocean City.

[00:14:09] I know what goes on.

[00:14:11] You were so insecure.

[00:14:12] Yeah, dude.

[00:14:13] This kind of says more about you that does us.

[00:14:15] You know what it's what it's literally.

[00:14:17] It's like, hey, you're going to have to be a little bit more.

[00:14:20] You're like, why are you trying to fuck her?

[00:14:25] We wanted to get.

[00:14:27] Because we know she doesn't want to move to Baltimore, so we're going to make her very

[00:14:31] comfortable.

[00:14:32] Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.

[00:14:33] We don't want her to associate the negative aspects of the first parts of a move.

[00:14:37] This is my assault week.

[00:14:39] Okay, and I would appreciate a little bit more respect around just for the week.

[00:14:42] I told you we're not talking about that on the show.

[00:14:45] We don't have to talk about it, but it is my assault week.

[00:14:48] So it's like my birthday.

[00:14:50] All right, Adam got a little, a little too questioning with me about my dealings with a certain girlfriend.

[00:15:00] Adam just kept trying to get his share of abuse of religion.

[00:15:07] Adam kept seeing the thing is Nick's been garnishing Adam's wages.

[00:15:12] He keeps saying he's going to pay him.

[00:15:14] Adam hasn't seen a dime of the pie.

[00:15:16] Yeah, it's all about making connections.

[00:15:19] Exactly.

[00:15:20] So you just kept asking to get your money and resume.

[00:15:24] You know, we had to introduce you to the boot.

[00:15:26] I've said plenty of things on the show that made me completely unemployable.

[00:15:30] Yeah, you're making connections in media.

[00:15:34] Yeah, but I'm trying to make, yeah, I'm trying to make some connections with, you know, just

[00:15:38] you guys as friends.

[00:15:39] Of course.

[00:15:40] I was thinking the other day though, because you know, I always try to find the funniest

[00:15:43] ways to blow the podcast.

[00:15:45] And literally just giving it away to a Chinese businessman.

[00:15:49] I mean, that's so much better than a racing wheel.

[00:15:54] No, I have.

[00:15:55] I mean, who do you think takes that money when you lose it?

[00:15:58] Oh, true.

[00:15:59] You're right.

[00:16:00] Yeah.

[00:16:01] That's pretty good.

[00:16:02] I used to go to find all these special tax forms at the IRS because I lost a bunch of money

[00:16:05] to China.

[00:16:06] Yeah, it looks like you're just laundering money for the Chinese.

[00:16:09] You lost so much of it.

[00:16:11] It looks like some complex money laundering.

[00:16:15] No one's this bad at trading.

[00:16:17] It looks like, yeah, it looks like you're 60 K into the fucking Chinese mafia.

[00:16:21] Right.

[00:16:22] Yeah, which, but you know, to be fair, is like the most like, you know, broke just doing

[00:16:29] a socialist podcast and saying you care.

[00:16:32] Woke.

[00:16:33] Now that I'm not going to put around this meme, whoa, literally just shoveling money into

[00:16:39] the people's Republic of China.

[00:16:41] Yeah.

[00:16:42] Next up, PPR can do.

[00:16:43] That's kind of also hedging our bets for when they delicious pussy.

[00:16:46] How about edging your, edging your bets?

[00:16:48] Yeah.

[00:16:49] It's when you're losing money, but you're beating off for hours.

[00:16:51] It's going to be.

[00:16:52] Yeah.

[00:16:53] And not coming.

[00:16:54] Yeah.

[00:16:55] You're, you're, you're, you're a pay pig to yourself.

[00:16:57] Oh, that's hot.

[00:16:58] There's no dumb bitch could satisfy me the way I need to lose money.

[00:17:02] That's right.

[00:17:03] Well, you think a white woman can spend $60,000 on shoes.

[00:17:07] The Chinese need that for rockets.

[00:17:09] That's real big dog.

[00:17:11] Yeah.

[00:17:12] That's real findom.

[00:17:13] It's not giving money to a girl.

[00:17:15] Why don't you step out of the way you fucking sissy ass low tier pay pigs and watch me become

[00:17:20] a sex slave to the entire nation of people.

[00:17:25] Exactly the same.

[00:17:27] Using Nick's way to put up suicide nets around their buildings.

[00:17:30] Yeah.

[00:17:31] Well, suicide fish nets, little dominatrix.

[00:17:35] I like that.

[00:17:37] That gets me hard.

[00:17:38] Shit.

[00:17:39] I love the idea of a Chinese woman jumping out of the Foxconn factory into that net and it

[00:17:44] stretches over her legs and she sinks down almost to the ground underneath.

[00:17:49] Just enough for me to quickly taste her pussy before she bunches.

[00:17:52] Yeah.

[00:17:53] Yeah.

[00:17:54] Before she bunches all the way back into her shatters.

[00:17:58] There's one giant ice cream.

[00:18:00] One leg.

[00:18:01] Yeah.

[00:18:02] Yeah.

[00:18:03] And then she's right back into the factory.

[00:18:08] Before she has time to process it, she's just making other phones.

[00:18:13] It hits her like six years later.

[00:18:15] She sees someone in fish.

[00:18:17] My pussy had been tasted.

[00:18:23] Best seat in the house, pal.

[00:18:24] Hell yeah.

[00:18:25] Then they sell those seats.

[00:18:27] Yeah, tickets to be the pussy taster.

[00:18:30] Yeah.

[00:18:31] Foxconn's got a beautiful business model, man.

[00:18:32] Are they going to Wisconsin?

[00:18:33] Not as expensive.

[00:18:34] Where did they stop that?

[00:18:36] Were they going to go to Wisconsin?

[00:18:37] Not Walker made a deal with them or something.

[00:18:40] That's awesome.

[00:18:41] I don't really pay attention to shit anymore.

[00:18:44] Anyway.

[00:18:45] Yeah.

[00:18:46] No.

[00:18:47] It's Foxconn considering iPhone factory in Vietnam.

[00:18:50] Hell yeah, dude.

[00:18:51] What happened with Wisconsin?

[00:18:52] Hey, look, Vietnam is closer to Wisconsin than China is.

[00:18:56] Before you look it up.

[00:18:58] Before you look it up.

[00:18:59] Yes.

[00:19:00] Suck my day.

[00:19:01] If you're at home now, you're going, excuse me, but I won the map contest in fifth grade.

[00:19:09] And I know that that's wrong.

[00:19:12] Remember to suck my day.

[00:19:13] Remember to give Nick head.

[00:19:15] Remember to suck my entire day.

[00:19:17] And don't ever correct me about the map.

[00:19:19] I think Indochina is a cooler name in Vietnam.

[00:19:22] Yeah.

[00:19:23] The French had that right.

[00:19:24] I'll give them that.

[00:19:25] Yeah.

[00:19:26] Indochina?

[00:19:27] Yeah.

[00:19:28] That's what I always do.

[00:19:29] Yeah. Oh, this is, this is dark.

[00:19:32] Oh, yeah.

[00:19:33] Yeah.

[00:19:34] Inside.

[00:19:35] Deep ass China.

[00:19:36] Kazakhstan.

[00:19:37] I think you mean Chinko Russia.

[00:19:41] I think you mean it's kind of like a Ching Chong-e Russia.

[00:19:45] I think you mean, and the guy just holds his eyelids back.

[00:19:49] That kind of Russia.

[00:19:51] There's no verbal word for it.

[00:19:55] To pronounce our language, you would have to, and I don't know why, Kazakhstan people

[00:20:00] talk like Africans.

[00:20:01] Yes, but it reads, you know, how it probably got like clicks and whistles.

[00:20:04] They have just pulling their eyes back.

[00:20:07] Yeah.

[00:20:08] Pull your eyes back with a Russian accent.

[00:20:11] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:20:13] Duh.

[00:20:14] Did you see when Borac came out, they got mad about it.

[00:20:16] And they were like, we're way more Chinese actually.

[00:20:20] We're being portrayed.

[00:20:21] Yeah.

[00:20:22] We like to do a mess.

[00:20:25] We do not go that fuck.

[00:20:30] Our dumplings, we have dumplings, but they're filled with shit.

[00:20:34] Yeah, real dumplings.

[00:20:35] Shit dumplings.

[00:20:36] Actual dumplings.

[00:20:37] Oh.

[00:20:38] That's where they get the name.

[00:20:40] That's disgusting.

[00:20:41] That would be horrible.

[00:20:43] If you bite into a dumpling, it's just a fucking wet ass turd.

[00:20:47] You're with your Chinese girlfriend, so you don't want to affect her.

[00:20:53] Yeah, just a fucking white guy eating it for the first time.

[00:20:55] He's like, I don't know if these are for me.

[00:20:59] You just, you know, you dated Chinese girl and you go meet her family and you immediately

[00:21:04] start picking cat turds out of the litter box and you just look at her mom and go like,

[00:21:08] these are delicious.

[00:21:09] Yeah, just try and think a bite out of their live pet pet.

[00:21:14] You just ask, she's just putting your in her.

[00:21:18] Putting your shoes in the cat's litter box and eating the cat shit.

[00:21:22] And looking at the cat's head.

[00:21:25] The girlfriend's like, Garf is like, Mark, what are you doing?

[00:21:28] You're like, I'm trying not to offend your mom.

[00:21:31] I'm trying to be a good boyfriend.

[00:21:35] Your parents are just...

[00:21:38] I'm trying to get a Suzanne.

[00:21:40] Yeah, yeah.

[00:21:41] I was going to say, just named Jerry.

[00:21:44] I think we're heading for New Jersey.

[00:21:46] I'm a fucking car salesman.

[00:21:50] Yes.

[00:21:51] Yeah, we're Hispanic.

[00:21:53] There's types of, there's Mexican people that look so...

[00:21:58] They do, man.

[00:21:59] What the fuck is that?

[00:22:00] They look so sleepy.

[00:22:01] They look Chinese.

[00:22:02] No, they're like a lot of like, but isn't that because of the land bridge?

[00:22:07] Like the Native American population looks kind of Asian?

[00:22:11] Yeah, they do.

[00:22:12] They definitely do.

[00:22:13] I used to play...

[00:22:14] I used to play soccer.

[00:22:15] Straight look Chinese.

[00:22:16] Yeah, I used to play soccer in Meridian Hill Park with a bunch of Mexican dudes.

[00:22:21] And there was this one dude that looked totally Chinese.

[00:22:22] Everyone would be like, Chino and then they'd laugh at him.

[00:22:27] It's awesome how racist every other country.

[00:22:29] He looked a fat Chinese guy, yeah.

[00:22:30] Oh, I love that.

[00:22:31] I'm a Hispanic guy that looks like a fat Chinese guy.

[00:22:34] I'm a Jew though, a Jew though.

[00:22:35] That's a hilarious guy, man.

[00:22:36] It was so rich.

[00:22:37] It's me, too.

[00:22:38] It's like a string of chink steaks and a full of ugly.

[00:22:39] Yep.

[00:22:40] Just some guy with eyes like that.

[00:22:41] Yeah.

[00:22:42] Is that it?

[00:22:43] Legit.

[00:22:44] Legitimately no-jins.

[00:22:45] Is that the one that's like, no, jinxed?

[00:22:46] Legitimately no-jins.

[00:22:47] No, no, no, no, no.

[00:22:48] It was literally called Chink Steaks.

[00:22:49] Yeah, chairs, a place called Chink Steaks.

[00:22:51] They changed their names to like, Joe's or something in 2012.

[00:22:54] Uh-huh.

[00:22:55] Yeah.

[00:22:56] Like, way later than it's been.

[00:22:57] There's a lot of people, right?

[00:22:58] Yeah, they still have the website.

[00:23:00] Yeah, Pat and Genos are the two famous ones, but they also have the same-

[00:23:02] And one of them was racist.

[00:23:03] Yes, Genos.

[00:23:04] Genos.

[00:23:05] It's Philadelphia.

[00:23:06] Yeah, they're both.

[00:23:07] Let's see, you got to get a license, a business license.

[00:23:10] You have to be racist.

[00:23:11] Chinksteaks.com.

[00:23:13] Um, there's that dead rapper, R.I.P.

[00:23:16] Chink's Drugs.

[00:23:19] Great good guy.

[00:23:20] Do you remember that rapper, Jin?

[00:23:22] The Asian rapper?

[00:23:24] Your girlfriend had my dumplings, am I a girl in her mouth?

[00:23:27] Do you remember the Punjabi MC?

[00:23:29] I ain't hit the boogie.

[00:23:30] I ain't hit the band again.

[00:23:31] I ain't hit the song.

[00:23:32] I'm a fucking pig.

[00:23:33] I'm a fucking pig.

[00:23:34] I'm a fucking pig.

[00:23:35] Yeah, I love that song.

[00:23:36] Yeah.

[00:23:37] Yeah, I'm a fucking

[00:23:11] I'm a fucking pig.

[00:23:38] Yeah, I love that song.

[00:23:39] Yeah.

[00:23:40] I'm a fucking pig.

[00:23:41] I don't know.

[00:23:42] I'm a fucking pig.

[00:23:43] I love it.

[00:23:44] I love it.

[00:23:45] Yeah.

[00:23:46] Don't you?

[00:23:47] Go to chinksteaks.com.

[00:23:48] And then it just says like what makes Philadelphia great.

[00:23:51] Yeah, I think someone just bought it.

[00:23:53] Yeah.

[00:23:54] I think it doesn't look like a, it doesn't, it looks like just somebody bought the website.

[00:23:57] Maybe.

[00:23:58] And it's a, it was Chinksteaks until yeah, take that racist, eat it Joe's.

[00:24:04] Formally Chink Steaks blog.angryasianman.com.

[00:24:05] Yeah, I mean it shouldn't be called that that's got, that's a wild thing for a fucking business

[00:24:09] to be called.

[00:24:10] My favorite type of like online activism is Asian American Pacific Islander guys.

[00:24:16] Woke guys?

[00:24:17] They're the Asians that are angry.

[00:24:19] Yeah, like that poet that got mad at you.

[00:24:22] Oh yeah, that poet.

[00:24:23] That's lame poet.

[00:24:24] Yeah.

[00:24:25] Wanted me to be thrown in jail for making fun of Chinese over here.

[00:24:28] Well, you're from Singapore, right?

[00:24:30] Yeah, yeah.

[00:24:31] We're like, cussing is illegal or whatever.

[00:24:34] Yeah.

[00:24:35] How about sing a pour your mom's pussy all over my face?

[00:24:37] Yeah, come over here.

[00:24:38] As you come pour that pussy.

[00:24:40] Why don't you sing a song about my dick and get fucked by your dad's mouth?

[00:24:44] Hey guy from four years ago.

[00:24:46] A lot of those guys like used to say the N word six years ago.

[00:24:52] And a lot of them still do.

[00:24:54] My favorite was that bitch Claudia.

[00:24:56] Remember her literal porn?

[00:24:59] No.

[00:25:00] She like, she sounds like a Korean bitch.

[00:25:03] She made her name literal porn because she didn't know that literal wasn't a synonym

[00:25:08] with literary.

[00:25:09] Are you fucking kidding me?

[00:25:11] Yeah.

[00:25:12] So it was like literal is like she meant like word porn.

[00:25:16] Oh, I think because she loves brutal.

[00:25:19] Yeah, her bio is like a writer.

[00:25:21] The fuck you pay me kind.

[00:25:23] And then it's like there's zero evidence of her being a writer.

[00:25:26] Right, right.

[00:25:27] I think she wrote like one thing about going to a barbecue restaurant and how it was like

[00:25:30] these mayo ass white Pete, you know, and then the barbecue was fine.

[00:25:35] You know, essentially a helper view that they just let a Chinese woman or whatever woman

[00:25:41] publish Claudia is a hot name.

[00:25:43] I will say.

[00:25:44] Yeah.

[00:25:45] Well, anyway, she turned out my favorite part about literal porn is the writing thing didn't

[00:25:49] work out.

[00:25:50] So eventually she just became a kidding a cam girl.

[00:25:52] So she ended up doing literal porn.

[00:25:54] That's fucking awesome.

[00:25:56] She was like an online work person.

[00:25:58] Yeah.

[00:25:59] A lot of those girls will do that.

[00:26:00] Yeah.

[00:26:01] But like the the N word usey kind.

[00:26:03] Like an Asian girl that's like, you know, like fucking crack at, you know, like, oh,

[00:26:08] she was like, did I never say in the end bomb?

[00:26:11] Now she's famous as shit.

[00:26:13] Now she's it feels like she must have at some point.

[00:26:17] She said in oceans.

[00:26:18] Eight.

[00:26:19] I've seen with Rihanna.

[00:26:21] Yeah.

[00:26:22] It was pretty fucked up.

[00:26:24] Dude, I went to that movie in the theaters with Dasha.

[00:26:28] It was you did.

[00:26:29] Yeah, it was during the movie pass.

[00:26:31] Hey, Dave, I straight up.

[00:26:32] Any piece of this is great.

[00:26:33] If you Google literal porn, I just want to see what Claudia was up to.

[00:26:37] The first thing that comes up is inside Amy Schumer writer Kurt Metzger harasses Twitter

[00:26:41] personality.

[00:26:42] And then the right underneath the headline is just a poll quote from Kurt that says,

[00:26:50] I'm sorry a white man didn't tip you for anal.

[00:26:54] Oh, Jesus Christ.

[00:26:55] Yeah.

[00:26:56] Was she a prostitute?

[00:26:57] Oh, I don't know.

[00:26:58] I don't know.

[00:27:00] Now, when you say she did literal porn, is there any evidence of that on the internet?

[00:27:07] She's on Mastodon.

[00:27:08] Isn't that the racist one?

[00:27:11] What's that?

[00:27:12] Nothing.

[00:27:13] I'm just looking.

[00:27:14] She's on Mastodon.

[00:27:15] No, it might be just somebody.

[00:27:16] Mastodon.

[00:27:17] Isn't that a metal band?

[00:27:18] Yeah, they fucking rock, bro.

[00:27:21] Yeah.

[00:27:22] Adam, you're not allowed to listen to metal.

[00:27:23] I know.

[00:27:24] I'm getting.

[00:27:25] Let me let me know whenever I'm allowed to.

[00:27:29] I'm ready.

[00:27:30] What did you do?

[00:27:31] Wait, I didn't even realize.

[00:27:32] I'll get my.

[00:27:33] You think oceans eight was going to be a fucking jam.

[00:27:35] That must have been a horrible movie.

[00:27:36] Yeah, you got shit.

[00:27:38] Here's the sound cloud.

[00:27:39] Is it OG boss bitch with dollar signs writer sociologist with dollar signs?

[00:27:46] Yeah, strategist with dollar signs.

[00:27:49] Girl rap.

[00:27:50] Jesus strategist.

[00:27:51] And sex jams enthusiast.

[00:27:53] I like sex jam.

[00:27:56] Was she funny?

[00:27:57] Did you have like ironically funny?

[00:27:58] No.

[00:27:59] No, it was one of those people that was like because it was early on in the woke days.

[00:28:03] I mean, I became aware of her because she went after me for the Chinese New Year.

[00:28:07] I think it was like maybe it was that or something else.

[00:28:11] I don't know.

[00:28:12] I mean, Asia, it was funny because it was early on and like when Twitter was just really

[00:28:15] becoming like a fucking mess.

[00:28:17] Yeah.

[00:28:18] And yeah, like Asians were mad at me.

[00:28:21] And it was like at the time I didn't understand it because it was like you're Asian.

[00:28:26] You know?

[00:28:27] I mean, I know that sounds ridiculous now, but it's like how dare you make fun of Chinese

[00:28:34] New Year?

[00:28:35] Well, it's not like you were like, who gives a shit about Chinese?

[00:28:39] Yeah.

[00:28:40] Yeah.

[00:28:41] It's like it was literally the same as if like an Italian was like, would you fucking

[00:28:43] make a phone of Columbus?

[00:28:45] Yeah, right.

[00:28:46] Like I don't fucking care.

[00:28:47] In those days, I think that was pretty so not there was pretty similar.

[00:28:51] Yeah.

[00:28:52] Yeah.

[00:28:53] Yeah.

[00:28:54] I think his trick the devil ever pulled was convincing people he wasn't Chinese or something

[00:28:59] like that.

[00:29:00] I don't know what the expression.

[00:29:02] Oh, hell yeah.

[00:29:03] They flin-winked all of us.

[00:29:06] You heard of here first folks.

[00:29:08] Satan is a Chinese person.

[00:29:10] Satan is Chinese.

[00:29:12] Dude, of course.

[00:29:13] Satan.

[00:29:14] Yeah.

[00:29:15] It's a Yup.

[00:29:16] It's just like, oh, it's me.

[00:29:17] Of course.

[00:29:18] They make so much sense.

[00:29:19] Absolutely.

[00:29:20] Dude.

[00:29:21] Yeah, he's red for drinking.

[00:29:24] Yeah, he's dry-fucked up.

[00:29:26] He's drunk.

[00:29:27] He's completely amoral.

[00:29:29] Yeah.

[00:29:30] Ruthless.

[00:29:31] He's got a big fork.

[00:29:32] He used to crack turnts or shells.

[00:29:33] He's red for communism and drinking.

[00:29:34] He used to kill turnts surrounded by demons.

[00:29:38] Yup.

[00:29:39] What else?

[00:29:40] What are other things we can come up with?

[00:29:43] He's got a tail.

[00:29:44] As professional comedians.

[00:29:45] He's got a tail.

[00:29:46] That's true.

[00:29:47] Of how Satan could be Chinese.

[00:29:49] Yeah.

[00:29:50] He could say me Chinese.

[00:29:52] He lives in a little fucked up basement.

[00:29:58] Hell is kind of like a sweatshop maybe.

[00:30:00] Exactly.

[00:30:01] There we go.

[00:30:02] So everyone's just for all eternity making iPhones.

[00:30:05] Well, I'd like to take a moment to talk about betdsi.com.

[00:30:08] It's perfect.

[00:30:09] It's perfect.

[00:30:10] Yeah.

[00:30:11] You could bet on what race Satan is.

[00:30:13] But your money on Chinese, folks.

[00:30:16] Bet no Chinese.

[00:30:17] You've been right now.

[00:30:20] The premier sports book betting website on the internet.

[00:30:23] They have been in business over 20 years paying out winners.

[00:30:28] Look them up and check them out on their own.

[00:30:30] They got their own URL guys.

[00:30:33] That's B as in boy.

[00:30:34] He is an echo T as in Timmy D as in.

[00:30:40] Dillard.

[00:30:41] Dillard.

[00:30:42] S is in.

[00:30:43] S I is in C.

[00:30:46] It's actually black entertainment television.

[00:30:48] Black ET.

[00:30:49] Black ET.

[00:30:50] That's what I thought that channel stood for.

[00:30:53] You could also bet on what race ET was.

[00:30:56] I've been watching black ET for like nine hours in a single motherfucker black ET.

[00:31:01] What if it's just music videos?

[00:31:04] Man, I've been watching black ET for like nine hours in a single motherfucker black ET.

[00:31:13] What if it's just music videos, man?

[00:31:16] What if it was a very small black guy that was that ashy?

[00:31:20] Was he like green?

[00:31:22] No, I think he was like shriveled.

[00:31:24] Is it black ET just Yoda?

[00:31:26] Yeah, I think so.

[00:31:28] No, Yoda was Jewish.

[00:31:30] That's why he talked like that.

[00:31:32] Yeah, that's why he tried.

[00:31:33] You did all the good care for yourself.

[00:31:35] He's black, man.

[00:31:36] No, he taught you that switching the switching the word code switching.

[00:31:40] No, he was like to for his job.

[00:31:43] Well, I'd say but you want, you know, he says shit like that.

[00:31:47] Yeah, that's true.

[00:31:48] Well, you can bet on what race Yoda and Satan are on betthesi.com and use their easy to

[00:31:56] use mobile playing interface play when get paid, folks.

[00:31:59] I love it.

[00:32:00] Bet the SI offers odds on pretty much everything else, not just sports, but politics, you know,

[00:32:07] is Michael Flynn gonna are we finally going to see our dear sexy, beautiful, Hillary,

[00:32:12] you know, where she deserves every man hooked directly up to her pussy by their mouth.

[00:32:18] I'm going to say by 3.29 shit out of her.

[00:32:21] Shit, shit's out of her pussy, folks.

[00:32:24] We're all just sucking just we had done as a little uterus out of Hillary Clinton's pussy.

[00:32:30] Like we all deserve for Brett Kavanaugh or something.

[00:32:34] Is that gonna happen?

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[00:32:41] Pretty much everything.

[00:32:42] You got a great mobile app, easy to use from anywhere.

[00:32:45] Train, plane, automobile, John Candy's ass.

[00:32:49] Yeah, John Candy's ass.

[00:32:50] A fucking sleigh, we got Christmas time coming up.

[00:32:53] I know some of you motherfuckers got sleighs, you're waiting to bust out.

[00:32:57] So true from the sleigh.

[00:32:59] Yeah, does any have what the fuck I don't think I've ever seen a sleigh.

[00:33:03] I think it was actually slave.

[00:33:05] I think that was an olden days term for slave.

[00:33:08] So you don't think slaves just arrived on slaves?

[00:33:11] How about instead of Mrs. Claus' name?

[00:33:13] It's sleigh queen.

[00:33:15] How about that?

[00:33:17] Oh, wow, beautiful.

[00:33:19] Who's ready for the fucking holiday?

[00:33:21] Hillary is kind of like the Mrs. Claus of America.

[00:33:23] Remember to sleigh queen to the polls.

[00:33:32] Take the Ravens, fuck the Chiefs.

[00:33:34] Ravens are hot, fuck the Chiefs.

[00:33:36] Three straves.

[00:33:37] That's right.

[00:33:38] What Nick said.

[00:33:40] Fuck those Native American

[00:33:32] Oh, shit.

[00:33:41] They're fucking, they got that running back that hits women.

[00:33:46] He fucking dropped a bitch in the face.

[00:33:49] No, but he learned his lesson by playing more football.

[00:33:53] No, he got caught in the face.

[00:33:57] We at the NFL believe that this man should rehabilitate himself by continuing to play.

[00:34:01] Football and earn us millions of dollars.

[00:34:03] Yeah, as part of his men, he will play an ever game until he has learned his lesson.

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[00:34:50] You're nice and weekends.

[00:34:51] Nice and weekends.

[00:34:52] Remember that shit.

[00:34:53] We remember his free chirp chirp on next step.

[00:34:56] Really wet.

[00:34:59] Hey, I got no minutes, man.

[00:35:01] Make a move.

[00:35:02] My dick is small.

[00:35:03] Make a move.

[00:35:04] No minutes.

[00:35:05] Rollover requirement.

[00:35:07] Something about that.

[00:35:08] I said already.

[00:35:09] So if you're going to be in the sports book, which is where we like the game.

[00:35:13] I love the fucking sports.

[00:35:15] I love being in the sports book.

[00:35:17] The only book I love more than the.

[00:35:18] We drive to Jersey every Sunday.

[00:35:20] Sit in the sports book.

[00:35:21] We sit in the sports book.

[00:35:22] We read the good book.

[00:35:24] The Lord's book, the jungle book, which I was joking last week.

[00:35:28] Yeah, no, whatever it was.

[00:35:32] I remember that one.

[00:35:33] Yeah, from the group text.

[00:35:35] Yeah.

[00:35:36] So a guy teaching about teaching himself.

[00:35:38] That man taught himself out of fucking prison.

[00:35:41] Oh, yeah.

[00:35:42] That was.

[00:35:43] He's just reading the jungle book, but it's pictures of just like Tiger print panties pull aside.

[00:35:49] Just a big purple pussy.

[00:35:52] Up close, up close pics.

[00:35:54] Honestly, not as bad as it could have been.

[00:35:56] Oh, yeah.

[00:35:57] With the set up.

[00:35:58] I gave you what I like.

[00:35:59] You got P.

[00:36:00] What's your answer?

[00:36:01] What's the soft soft version?

[00:36:04] It was the soft A version of that.

[00:36:07] Yeah, exactly.

[00:36:08] That is.

[00:36:09] It got real everybody.

[00:36:10] I'm not shocked.

[00:36:11] All right.

[00:36:12] If you use promo code, come one twenty up to a thousand dollars are going to give you 60% bonus cash,

[00:36:18] which we turn a thousand dollars into sixteen hundred dollars to play with.

[00:36:21] So once again, that's bet the aside.com come one twenty.

[00:36:25] Let's start the show.

[00:36:26] Start the show.

[00:36:27] Jack amico.

[00:36:29] Jack amico.

[00:36:30] The call the faggot.

[00:36:32] Congrats to Zach.

[00:36:34] Oh, yeah.

[00:36:35] Congrats to Zach getting engaged to a woman.

[00:36:39] Yeah.

[00:36:40] Yeah, to Dasha.

[00:36:41] Mike Girlfriend.

[00:36:42] Yeah, you said he asked first.

[00:36:45] Adam should or get off the pot.

[00:36:47] He's like Adam, I'm getting married to a clown.

[00:36:50] I'm sorry, I'm not sure.

[00:36:51] This is my favorite song.

[00:36:52] It might be a woman.

[00:36:53] What a hilarious, I would love to see Zachary going down.

[00:36:56] Hang out for an hour.

[00:36:58] She couldn't do it.

[00:37:00] Yeah, she couldn't handle it.

[00:37:02] Have you seen any of the trouble movies?

[00:37:04] Yeah, I guess so.

[00:37:07] Yeah.

[00:37:09] He says it's so goddamn really good.

[00:37:12] He says the inward quite a bit.

[00:37:15] For no one they call him his sniper, baby.

[00:37:18] I guess I was sniper would do.

[00:37:20] Yeah, just hang out in a room and it's completely safe room a million miles away from black

[00:37:25] people.

[00:37:26] Just broadcast it to them through like a scope.

[00:37:31] Zach amico.

[00:37:32] They come up in a row.

[00:37:33] It's just a black guy just minding his business in the Bronx and he just cures someone calling

[00:37:38] him the other morning.

[00:37:39] He's like, what the fuck?

[00:37:40] Yeah.

[00:37:41] Zach covered in camouflage.

[00:37:42] I'm sort of like some sort of like rifle megaphone.

[00:37:44] He's got a scope on it so he can look all the way to the Bronx.

[00:37:48] He says the inward there guy.

[00:37:51] He's like, why am I hearing the inward?

[00:37:55] No, shop doggy.

[00:37:58] It's a dog.

[00:38:00] Doggy.

[00:38:01] Doggy, you got him.

[00:38:03] Oh, Lewis is so stupid.

[00:38:11] Oh, shots, dude.

[00:38:13] Yeah, we're gonna have Lewis on tomorrow.

[00:38:15] You're gonna have to wait.

[00:38:17] I'm gonna ever make him, dude.

[00:38:18] The second I see him.

[00:38:19] We should actually have Lewis on.

[00:38:21] Is Lewis on our show tomorrow?

[00:38:23] No, we haven't booked.

[00:38:24] We should get him.

[00:38:25] I don't know.

[00:38:26] I hope people money.

[00:38:28] We might have a special.

[00:38:29] You owe money.

[00:38:30] Other people have done this show.

[00:38:32] I got like a backed up.

[00:38:33] I just paid Greg Stone.

[00:38:34] I got to pay Anthony.

[00:38:35] I got to pay Ian.

[00:38:36] I got to pay Bonnie.

[00:38:37] That's right.

[00:38:38] Because here at come time we pay our guests because we're the only.

[00:38:40] Because we're socialist.

[00:38:43] We're the socialist journalist podcast.

[00:38:45] We're socialist journalists.

[00:38:46] We're from that one socialist magazine.

[00:38:48] What's it called?

[00:38:49] Jack Abingian.

[00:38:50] Jack Abingian.

[00:38:51] Jack Offbin.

[00:38:52] It's named after Jack Abingian.

[00:38:53] Yeah, I've got a website called jackoffbin.com.

[00:38:56] I love that.

[00:38:57] It's a garbage pill that you can.

[00:38:59] Pictures of Angela.

[00:39:00] Beautiful Angela.

[00:39:01] Angela.

[00:39:02] Angela.

[00:39:03] Angela.

[00:39:04] Angela.

[00:39:05] Magle?

[00:39:06] Yeah, I didn't want to say your last name.

[00:39:09] Because it's too close to that other word.

[00:39:11] Yeah, because I consider it.

[00:39:14] Any word that starts with N and has a G in it somewhere.

[00:39:18] You won't say.

[00:39:19] Yeah.

[00:39:20] Everyone hates it.

[00:39:21] That's why people are mad at her, right?

[00:39:22] No, they're mad at her for writing an article or something.

[00:39:25] Oh, I thought it could be because her last name was racist.

[00:39:29] I mean, that's the big more.

[00:39:32] She went on Tucker Carlson shows that people are mad at her.

[00:39:37] Tucker Carlson, that guy is a fucking loser ass bitch.

[00:39:40] Tucker Carlson would be a good name for like a drag queen.

[00:39:43] Absolutely.

[00:39:44] That's about you putting a dick away.

[00:39:46] Yeah, yeah.

[00:39:47] That's good.

[00:39:48] Mm hmm.

[00:39:49] Tucker Carlson bad.

[00:39:51] Didn't Tucker Carlson do the actual discounts?

[00:39:53] Callie bitch.

[00:39:55] Just because it's a girls bad.

[00:39:58] Yeah.

[00:39:59] It's from Carol's bad, California with a bow tie.

[00:40:02] Yeah.

[00:40:03] Just huge tits.

[00:40:05] He's had a good career act too because he was just like some like by being very known as conservative

[00:40:12] from CNN.

[00:40:13] Then he got a shit then he got a shit rocked by John Stewart.

[00:40:16] Dude, that fucking answer on it is so goddamn funny.

[00:40:20] Harry Belafonte.

[00:40:21] Welcome.

[00:40:22] Welcome.

[00:40:23] Welcome.

[00:40:24] What are you some kind of slave master?

[00:40:26] That's crazy.

[00:40:28] Yeah.

[00:40:29] Yeah.

[00:40:30] I'm going to say something a lot of people are afraid to say Chris Osama bin Laden is an

[00:40:34] uncle Tom.

[00:40:35] Jesus Christ.

[00:40:36] I don't even know.

[00:40:37] We should be offended by that.

[00:40:39] I will be watching that because it was we were in Cleveland the night McCain died and

[00:40:46] all right.

[00:40:47] Oh, right.

[00:40:48] That was so fucking hosting us.

[00:40:50] No, that's right.

[00:40:51] They're honoring all the McCain sketch.

[00:40:56] That was really fucking funny.

[00:40:57] And yeah, we were going off those eight W is dad.

[00:41:00] I can't really.

[00:41:01] Oh, yeah.

[00:41:02] Yeah.

[00:41:03] I'm having having gay sex with Michelle Obama.

[00:41:09] You think you think he's eating what's his wife's old ass pussy?

[00:41:13] She's cheating on him already.

[00:41:14] She started cheating in that month.

[00:41:16] Joe DiMaggio put a baseball bat in her pussy.

[00:41:19] It was like punching in the face.

[00:41:21] He died in every one was like it was almost like someone like was like and action.

[00:41:29] And then everybody like the sick to exactly the predictable people were like honor the

[00:41:34] man, you know, like the other people were like hell yes, more criminal.

[00:41:38] Yeah.

[00:41:39] And it's like he was 90 million years old.

[00:41:43] You didn't own him.

[00:41:44] Right.

[00:41:45] You know, nobody owned him, but it's like you're not like really pointing anything out.

[00:41:49] It really is every single time the same thing.

[00:41:52] It is the same shit every time.

[00:41:54] That's why I had a good take where I was like read my lips.

[00:41:58] My dick is small.

[00:42:01] Read my pussy lips.

[00:42:04] No new bathrooms.

[00:42:05] But the best part obviously was that Hitler girl that tweet that girl said she would be

[00:42:13] sad.

[00:42:14] That was awesome.

[00:42:15] That was fucking unbelievable.

[00:42:16] I mean, so you know, sometimes you have the same discourse, but you get a new beautiful

[00:42:22] rose.

[00:42:23] That's that woman is marriage material.

[00:42:26] Would you marry her?

[00:42:27] That's a woman that will defend you no matter what you do.

[00:42:31] She has an opinion on something.

[00:42:33] It's sticking.

[00:42:34] You can rape an entire elementary.

[00:42:36] She's like, I don't care what you said.

[00:42:37] She's right.

[00:42:38] Yeah.

[00:42:39] Right.

[00:42:40] Yeah.

[00:42:41] Good for her.

[00:42:42] A lot of these cucks wouldn't understand that.

[00:42:43] How do you feel about your boy Jeffrey Epstein being back in the news?

[00:42:47] He's not back in the news.

[00:42:48] There was a huge Miami Herald thing and people were like, like, there's we go final nail

[00:42:54] in the coffin for Trump.

[00:42:55] And then they quickly realized that like, I saw a lot of like strange, all the pizza

[00:43:00] gate people didn't mention this guy.

[00:43:02] It's like, no, he was a huge part of pizza gate.

[00:43:05] He was brought up fucking constantly and you didn't give a shit.

[00:43:08] Yeah, but he wasn't linked to Trump.

[00:43:09] He wasn't linked to Trump at the no.

[00:43:11] I mean, yeah, no, people would mention the Trump will like flew on the plane, but like,

[00:43:15] my man straight up just had a plane where you fucked children.

[00:43:19] Yeah.

[00:43:20] And what the fuck?

[00:43:21] No, no, it was an island.

[00:43:23] I mean, as much as people want to make the Epstein thing a Trump thing, it's like way

[00:43:26] more Dershowitz Clinton thing.

[00:43:28] It's all of them.

[00:43:30] It's all of them thing.

[00:43:31] Yeah.

[00:43:32] So these elites fucking suck, but they're not going to throw their boy under the bus.

[00:43:36] Sure.

[00:43:37] They don't care.

[00:43:38] Well, and it's also that the secretary of labor cut a deal with him.

[00:43:42] Yeah.

[00:43:43] That involved getting every one of those powerful men off and then him serving what like 11

[00:43:47] months in jail, not even in jail.

[00:43:49] He was like in house arrest.

[00:43:50] He got to go to work, yeah, and he got to go to work like five days a week.

[00:43:55] Yeah.

[00:43:56] And didn't that Dershow would say he got a massage from an old Russian bitch at this

[00:44:00] place?

[00:44:01] Well, or something.

[00:44:02] You were there.

[00:44:03] Well, those guys told Harvard kids.

[00:44:05] Okay.

[00:44:06] Why didn't want to Jesus fucking Christ.

[00:44:09] I mean, well, we can't tell this story.

[00:44:11] God damn it.

[00:44:12] I think we did tell it on the live show.

[00:44:13] You're supposed to be a fucking lawyer.

[00:44:15] Come on.

[00:44:16] That's why we have you on the show.

[00:44:17] I didn't go to law school to indemnify us by taking full responsibility for anything

[00:44:22] sent on the show allegedly binding.

[00:44:24] Copically, Adam is going to get anything bad.

[00:44:29] I'm responsible for all the content said on the IMA perform.

[00:44:33] And all of my lines are written by a writer of come town.

[00:44:38] It's right.

[00:44:39] It's like the caution six nine in his song.

[00:44:41] He's just like a millennial.

[00:44:43] Choose version of like self deprecating comedy is an anti semi and a fat Greek retard

[00:44:49] volittiling him.

[00:44:51] Adam's written every episode of this show.

[00:44:53] Of course I have he owns all the royalties.

[00:44:55] He's just like Richie shit.

[00:44:57] Yeah, it's a writer's room of 11 women of color in me.

[00:45:00] And I've written every single insult.

[00:45:02] Yeah.

[00:45:03] Yeah, it's just how I write her a shashi sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha

[00:45:07] sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha sha

[00:45:11] sha just puts ink on her brain.

[00:45:13] Brains and ink and then just shakes her head listening to macy gray and then they call

[00:45:18] me read on the show.

[00:45:20] Macy gray.

[00:45:22] I tried to say goodbye.

[00:45:26] But I'm gay.

[00:45:29] I'm gay.

[00:45:30] Oh shit.

[00:45:32] Everybody knows I'm gay.

[00:45:36] My cock gets hard when I see a man's ass well

[00:45:42] Speaking of your cock getting hard if your cock doesn't get

[00:45:51] Oh fuck is a new website still go

[00:45:55] Is a new website now, it's not so new after all it's called blue chew

[00:46:01] Mmm solute salud and what they do is is they sell

[00:46:07] Special medicine wink wink winky winky baby intimate

[00:46:13] Fuck look it's a dick pill website

[00:46:20] They get your fucking cock plump a shit pal yeah, no

[00:46:25] You may have noticed it. I'm like I sound stuffed up

[00:46:28] I'm sure and it's because I'm actually high on dick pills. That's right next north

[00:46:34] Them yeah, I get fucked up on dick pills. No god damn it

[00:46:38] Where the fuck is a goddamn copy blue chew calm is dick bill website to both me and stop personally use we did

[00:46:45] We literally do we literally do use this website to get fucking free dick pills

[00:46:50] Just fill out a simple form they send you in discrete packaging, which is labeled custom medicine

[00:46:56] Mmm-hmm. No one knows what it is. Yeah, it's still very funny. Yeah

[00:47:00] Just if I the mailman and from across the street bank. Oh mr. Mullen your custom medicine

[00:47:07] It's only coming like us and like old men

[00:47:14] Your box your box of custom mm-hmm, you know the one kind of medicine you'd be embarrassed to get

[00:47:21] That's the kind coming to you

[00:47:27] Here's the thing I don't give a fuck dude right cock pills I've never shot it from the roof

[00:47:32] I'm sure it's a blue chew on there because I want people know how well these fucking dick pills were mm-hmm. You know

[00:47:39] They're so good. I feel like a 15 year old boy again. I'm going around

[00:47:44] Stealing things

[00:47:47] Acting like a wigger not do yeah

[00:47:49] We're three Excel tall teas three Excel tall teas your mom. She's gay. Yeah, I'm my mom

[00:47:56] the end word

[00:47:59] Playing everybody in the club getting tipsy by what the fuck was that guy's name?

[00:48:06] Shit fuck one

[00:48:08] You can't take a jquon. Yes. Yeah one hit wonder jquon. Yeah also Chingy. Oh

[00:48:19] For being racist what

[00:48:22] Anyway, yeah, so we're doing 15 year. That's our dicks are 15 years old and our brains are 15

[00:48:26] Oh great dude. It's making me smarter by making me dumber. So true

[00:48:31] You know in a lot of ways that's prescribed online. So these are real prescription pills real doctors

[00:48:37] This isn't some gas station bullshit. It's not this is a street overlord. Yeah, it's like tadafill or today

[00:48:43] Yeah, it's the active ingredients of C als and by anger. You choose right a lot to latte a lot of the foot to dowel

[00:48:49] a fella file or or the other one. Yeah, I don't know what the other one's called in the feds in it

[00:48:55] In Fencele it's pianist

[00:49:09] That's the closest that I could get to an Italian name in fancy and pianist

[00:49:15] In fancy with be honest translating my name in your brain stop it right now

[00:49:26] It means baby baby

[00:49:28] Yes, of course

[00:49:43] The same active ingredient is viagra and seales the true of both say work faster than faster your cock get hard

[00:49:50] It's pretty split, you know

[00:49:52] I would be lying if I if I told you I didn't accidentally eat too many of them because I didn't feel like going to the bodega to get candy

[00:49:58] That's right. Yep. It's next cock is poking Adam in the eye right?

[00:50:03] Right. I've had too much of my custom medicine

[00:50:07] Sorry, I have a headache for me too much custom medicine if you see a man who's head hurts and he's just hard and sweatpants

[00:50:13] He's OD'd on custom medicine

[00:50:16] Yeah, it's a good I'm gonna start a website called the custom gentleman. I wear a tuxedo top

[00:50:23] And I'm just my eyes are swollen shut

[00:50:26] overdosing on custom

[00:50:29] I got a pair of sweatpants just gray swells

[00:50:34] Yeah, it only takes a few minutes to fill out a form online you got no doctor visit no awkward conversation

[00:50:40] Where you have to sit at the doctor and say oh, yeah, I need these pills. Uh, I'd have straight sex

[00:50:47] One time no joke, I mean finish the reading then I'll tell the story

[00:50:52] Said no doctor visit the walk conversation no waiting in line at the pharmacy

[00:50:58] Ships directly to your door and discreet packaging

[00:51:01] They're prescribed online by a doctor made here in the USA

[00:51:05] So if you want to bring jobs back from those bastard Chinese

[00:51:08] Does it get your past hurts over there if you want your dick hard and some Chinese out of work?

[00:51:13] Yeah, we got a fucking each solution for you. This absolute pig so very China

[00:51:24] User not report the blue to corporation

[00:51:26] I

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[00:52:42] Don't do not show up to the dojo the burt christur manhole

[00:52:46] Podcast dojo for awesome radical dudes. Mm-hmm. The do beer together. I love doing that

[00:52:53] You dick completely hard

[00:52:55] You want to be in the chimp zone joe

[00:52:59] No, I don't know about that one man. I don't know

[00:53:02] You want to be one of mark mark marin's what the

[00:53:07] What the fuck are you? What the juice

[00:53:11] some what the israelites

[00:53:13] Mm-hmm. What the cikes

[00:53:18] Listen what then what?

[00:53:28] What the fuck sticks what the fuck are you kids what the fuck moolin?

[00:53:34] Mark the fucking whops

[00:53:37] the gooks the specs

[00:53:39] Just coming to earth carlin bit where he just lists every slur

[00:53:45] Spook spicks gitties whops faggots

[00:53:56] No, we're not

[00:54:01] Blue shoe com

[00:54:03] Come down take them anytime day or night

[00:54:08] Peterson the mold and penis

[00:54:11] So much time when you got custom medicine you can have your penis anytime

[00:54:17] Bagel pints now includes dick pills for children

[00:54:21] Go to blue shoe dot com to get some dick pills for your son

[00:54:26] You want to get your job

[00:54:29] Blue shoes got that line of bagel bike cock pills

[00:54:32] It's just

[00:54:34] Like a shitty 90s commercial. It's like a kid at baseball practice and he's striking out his dad's like come on bed

[00:54:40] Come on. He strikes out and he's like ah god damn it

[00:54:45] You know and then he's like she're in the kid on and the kids are trying to like drop in on a half vibe

[00:54:49] He's like come on Betty. You can do it and the kids like i'm scared

[00:54:53] He's like god damn it

[00:54:54] You know and it's like disappointed in your son. Yeah, then it's like bagel bites pizza in the morning

[00:55:00] And the dad's like slipping viagra to the bagel bites

[00:55:04] And then the kids dick is really hard playing sports and he's like that's my boy

[00:55:09] That's my fucking boy out there

[00:55:11] He still sucks at everything but his cock is rock hard anyways blue shoe dot com

[00:55:16] There we go

[00:55:18] The point about getting your doctor to give you dick pills is when I was

[00:55:23] Young and I just wanted I did just want a dick pill for like

[00:55:26] My car off with no, no, I was fucking but I wanted to take my cock to the absolute next level

[00:55:32] Oh, okay, it was functional, but I was like I was like I was like, yeah, I read um

[00:55:37] I've been pissing too much and I read on the internet that

[00:55:40] Cialis can help with that and it didn't work and he was like, ah fucking i'll give you a trial

[00:55:46] And I just had like these dick pills my friend David took his dad's viagra to sleep over when we were like 13

[00:55:51] Oh nice and he raped everyone he just had like we were just he was just sitting there with like a really hard

[00:56:05] It was like we were like 13

[00:56:06] Dude none of us had even sniffed a pussy

[00:56:08] But we all started jacking off around the same time right and he wanted to be hard for when you all jacked off together

[00:56:14] Dick pills and he's like it's gonna be so funny and they just had a boner for eight hours

[00:56:18] We were like should we tell your parents? He's like don't fucking tell my parents

[00:56:25] My dad's gonna be so pissed and so fun same kid

[00:56:27] We used to we used to straight up steal his dad's car like his dad's ford exposition when we like we're like 14

[00:56:35] Nice we'd like drive across town

[00:56:37] I think it's hilarious if if if his parents came in and saw him hard as shit and he didn't day by

[00:56:43] Yeah, that just means he wanted to fuck all his friends. That was a fun house like his parents would be in their bedroom

[00:56:49] We just like smell weed wafting out. Oh, yeah

[00:56:52] They they used to have like parents parties where like everyone would just get wasted my parents would be there

[00:56:57] Everyone was like blackout was like party. It was like no, but like we'd be there as kids

[00:57:01] but like it was like seeing parents like getting fucked up and

[00:57:05] My dad my dad

[00:57:07] One of your friends my dad told me when he was like blackout. He's like he's like yeah, David's mom

[00:57:14] Just told me she had laser hair removal on her

[00:57:24] Adam I have great news

[00:57:28] David's mother has removed her purpose is totally bald Adam

[00:57:32] Just like yours. He's like they were smoking marijuana in the jacuzzi and she told us about her laser hair removal

[00:57:42] But I posse

[00:57:44] It was pretty and did everybody get a taste

[00:57:48] I don't think everyone got a taste but that's gross man cover that shit up man cover up the pussy hole

[00:57:53] Cover up the hole pussy ears more hair. Yeah. Yeah, I love pussy. Yeah. I'm on the record. You love it

[00:57:58] Yeah, yeah, not like a fucking lanny crab. It's my thing is I'm drinking girls pee. You know. Oh, yeah

[00:58:05] Yeah, you're talking a lot more about a challenge

[00:58:07] Well, it's just because I'm trying to I'm gonna figure out what the next move is you know that's interesting long ago master of timing the markets

[00:58:16] So now I'm gonna start preemptively drinking piss just so I can say I told you so that it was gonna be the new

[00:58:22] When Drake says something yeah, right? Yeah, right and that doesn't happen. I'm just standing there with piss

[00:58:28] Your jowls covered in his piss seeping out of my mouth and I go damn

[00:58:35] The Chinese guy smiling in the background

[00:58:38] We go to my game

[00:58:40] We have got to my second time

[00:58:42] We did call it on the crisp and water. He's money and then what that kneel kneel the grass size and is a rapist

[00:58:49] So, you know, yeah in some you lose some

[00:58:54] I have insider information

[00:59:00] What are you? No, no reason because I always said was insider information. Yeah, I know

[00:59:05] And it's funny that you have that. Yeah, where do you get it from? All I'm saying is I have insider information

[00:59:10] Why why is that funny? No, it's just funny that you had you claimed to have insider information

[00:59:19] the scientific community is like from who scientific community yeah

[00:59:25] I

[00:59:28] Why is that funny? It's not

[00:59:31] It's funny because you're dumb and you don't

[00:59:33] Yeah, we're laughing. I know something about that scientist. Yeah

[00:59:41] I just that's all I'm saying

[00:59:43] That's pretty funny, dude

[00:59:46] What did he do for real? Did he he like put his fingers in someone's pussy or something weird like he was shaking a woman's hand for too long

[00:59:54] Was that is that right? Are you hugged her for too long? No, I read it and I just like did a control F for creepy

[01:00:00] And as soon as I saw that I was like, oh, he didn't do anything wrong. What was it? You sent it to us, right?

[01:00:05] Creepy behavior and then it was like there was one part of her and where I was like when she broke off the incredibly creepy and awkward handshake

[01:00:14] And it was like this is bullshit. Didn't he like asked to see someone's like tattoo?

[01:00:18] No, she showed him a tattoo. There's a picture of it happening

[01:00:21] Oh nice. She's showing him a tattoo of the solar system on her shoulder blade or whatever and he was like, oh, where's Pluto or whatever?

[01:00:30] Which is like something you would do no, it's not yeah, it is

[01:00:34] Where near as attractive as as

[01:00:37] And dg dg

[01:00:39] Mm-hmm. I would not ask to see Pluto on someone's double G. That's what he likes to be called. No, he doesn't

[01:00:51] One geez

[01:00:53] I

[01:01:05] Was just about rape racist

[01:01:09] Anyway

[01:01:13] It'll keep being funny to me until it's not a problem anymore

[01:01:16] What racism or yeah, yeah, no racism isn't oh, yeah, you know what I remember today that

[01:01:23] Larry said the n-word not on one episode of curb, but on two episodes of curbs

[01:01:29] Yeah, oh crazy. I just kill up crazy eyes kill it and the one where he hears the guy say it

[01:01:34] And then he repeats it to someone else and they think that he said it

[01:01:38] And then he sends it in front of the judge again at the end of the episode. That's pretty funny

[01:01:42] so

[01:01:43] I guess so you're saying is if you guess he's canceled

[01:01:47] He's probably canceled

[01:01:48] It's it's funny. It would be funny to

[01:01:52] Doctor something Larry David said and throw that in there

[01:01:57] Uh like edit it together that he's calling someone that

[01:02:01] Then we could cancel yeah, how about Larry gave it and it's an mp4 file

[01:02:07] And he's like so uh

[01:02:09] I can see a penis. I can take a look at it

[01:02:18] Yeah, that's good. I like that. Yeah, I definitely like that a lot. Yeah, I don't know

[01:02:23] Yeah, I guess you just tried to see some woman's tattoo

[01:02:26] Also, like what's he gonna be fired from memes?

[01:02:29] Yeah tweeting dumb shit about stars

[01:02:32] And what's like sue sue sue rape that guy or whatever he did. He was a drug and groped some guy

[01:02:39] Yeah, and then denied it and then said it was russian bots

[01:02:43] That was awesome. Yeah. Yeah

[01:02:45] Russian bots to cover up your gay rapists. Yeah, I know but it's like

[01:02:50] What is what happens to him? They just don't tweet or retweet him anymore

[01:02:54] Yeah, but they still do wait

[01:02:56] That's the thing dude memes are the most part stealing memes apparently is the best best job security. Yeah

[01:03:03] My man just became rich off stealing people. Hi guys love to have sex with men who are not I want to rape a man

[01:03:11] What I said was is that when Donald Trump does it it's bad, but when I do it it is ancient japanese

[01:03:21] Shut up to my man George

[01:03:23] Get raping and getting away with it. Yeah

[01:03:27] It was a pretty good article in the new york times yesterday

[01:03:30] You guys see what and you know what let me retract that shout out because I'm actually not a fan of people raping and getting away with it

[01:03:38] The new pork times

[01:03:40] It's a bunch of pigs. Oh, that's good bunch of it's not me new chinese. You see that girl

[01:03:47] That girl and stop

[01:03:49] Wearing a wig did an article. Well, that's you and me motherfucker. You're even

[01:03:54] I don't know if she looks like me so much, but the other one you literally look just like you guys

[01:03:59] You guys look exactly the same as you

[01:04:01] Other one looks like stop you you and eve were identical twins you literally I wouldn't say that you guys could she's taller

[01:04:11] She's starting to remake a sister sister

[01:04:14] Tia and tamara gold steam. Yeah, um

[01:04:17] Um, sister sister. Yeah, I mean, I don't much I missed yet

[01:04:22] I don't know if i was right

[01:04:25] You don't want to talk shit about her because she is a fellow stand-up comedian

[01:04:30] We shouldn't drag someone in our field solidarity. What the fuck was that article have any of you ever heard of Alex jans

[01:04:39] When he penetrated my kike cunt

[01:04:43] my red kike

[01:04:45] That

[01:04:47] That could be a line for me. I can't believe she's stealing your bitch. Yeah, that's my whole act

[01:04:50] I was thinking about buying a uh, they sell them on amazon

[01:04:53] But like a big pair of giant novelty scissors for when they open like a mall or yeah

[01:04:58] Yeah

[01:04:59] And then just keep tweeting at her like these are the scissors i'm going to use to kill you with

[01:05:04] And see if I get banned that'd be funny. That'd be very funny. It would be funny. Yeah, well

[01:05:09] With for two who sorry i was reading

[01:05:11] To cut heaves head off of the giant her scissors

[01:05:15] I must say I don't exactly get the bit but

[01:05:18] Well, it's just

[01:05:21] It's such a funny specific

[01:05:24] Oh to cut him off with novelty scissors. Yeah, but with a big parrot, you know, the kinds you open uh like a ribbons

[01:05:29] Yeah, because they sell them on amazon. Yeah, you know, the sisters you couldn't technically actually

[01:05:35] Dude, they're not very strong scissors. Yeah, they're kind of all right. You know what i'm in for a mall

[01:05:40] Yeah, that'd be a good way

[01:05:43] Just to get banned again. I tell you have the police shut

[01:05:50] I mean look this is one of those things that i'll do and then I regret doing it

[01:05:54] And why did I do it and then years later? I was like oh it's for the bid and then you're like, I guess it was pretty funny

[01:06:00] Yeah, yeah, yeah, but if I went to jail for you, I mean, oh my god that would be incredible threatening to kill somebody with jolly

[01:06:05] No

[01:06:08] If you're literally like in court and like how do you please yeah the scissors are tagged as evidence

[01:06:17] Prossy you know as to hold it up in court

[01:06:21] Examine it you're just smiling in court. You're laughing. I know i'm tested i'm testifying for the prosecution

[01:06:28] I'm pointing like that picture of the snitch that like and he purchased the scissors

[01:06:32] And had them on his persons ready to use this was a deliberate act

[01:06:37] This was premeditated. He intended to kill this woman with the giant

[01:06:43] Now you'd have to get the high-pitched voice guy for making a murder to put you behind that or like some sort of functioning giant gun

[01:06:50] You know like a revolver that was like six feet

[01:06:54] Cannon

[01:06:56] Point blank with a cannon

[01:06:58] I'm assuming with a cannon something that like wily coyote would do

[01:07:03] Yeah, yeah, yeah to go to a big stick of dynamite right to go to prison for something like that would be very funny

[01:07:08] Yeah, I agree

[01:07:10] You've paisers dead as nik drew a paint and a ton of

[01:07:15] An open field in front of a tunnel

[01:07:19] All right. Yeah, but that was a that was a good satire bit. I love satire

[01:07:23] And I love stuff for the record adam doesn't plan on doing that. I'm just gonna do come on madam

[01:07:30] Adam wasn't discussing this earlier as his actual plan and then I was saving him by saying it was me

[01:07:38] Adam yeah, he's making credible threats. Oh legal only ramifications to be so everything everything on the podcast is

[01:07:46] I have already stated that I copyright written all these

[01:07:48] 2017 or whatever

[01:07:52] Are we done? Oh, yeah for the most part copyright means

[01:07:56] That was a secret being copyright legal

[01:07:59] Copyright after you right after you add freedom is in trouble for the show

[01:08:04] Uh if if you're in dc this weekend come see me the seventh and eighth at the dc motherfucking draptos bitch

[01:08:11] and then the week after

[01:08:13] indian apple is on the 13th uh columbus and syncynate one of them is on the 14th one of them is on the 15th and then cleveland on the

[01:08:20] 16th by tickets to that and then

[01:08:24] L at phoenix just announced that motherfucker the 19th at valley bar

[01:08:29] And i'm also in pittsburgh and buffalo the week before that and la february second

[01:08:33] By tickets to come see my little bitch ass also sign up for the premium episodes of patreon.com slash comtown. That's right over take

[01:08:42] Last podcast on the last yeah last penis in my ass

[01:08:47] Honestly, I think it's absolutely fucking absurd that they're ahead of us. I can't believe they are either. Have they been doing it longer? They have

[01:08:54] Well, let's fuck them up dude. I know it will

[01:08:58] In and we will so yeah fuck those assholes that story about being in starbucks at one time

[01:09:03] It was like when I first moved to new york. It was the starbucks over on a master place

[01:09:06] I was like sitting at the counter

[01:09:08] And there was a guy next to me and I thought he was on the phone. He was like, I'm just no you tell them

[01:09:14] Put me on

[01:09:16] No, you just tell them just put me on

[01:09:19] Look, i'm telling you I can do this. I was born for radio. I was meant to do radio

[01:09:23] I was born for this you'll put me on you can and you will and I look over and you know, it's just insane

[01:09:32] And he's like having some like and it went on like that for an hour

[01:09:35] It's just repeating him like trying to convince some guy to put him on the radio. That's awesome

[01:09:39] Because he knew he was gonna be like a broadcast

[01:09:43] Oh, yeah, um and I had this like moment because like, you know, I didn't have any fucking money

[01:09:47] I was like making a little bit of money writing but like I've been doing comedy a while and wasn't going anywhere and i'm like fuck

[01:09:59] Well, you're not that

[01:10:01] Funny mom's of the year. Oh, yeah is on monday this upcoming monday. That's right. Whatever the date is of that

[01:10:08] Um, it's gonna be a really good one. I think we got some good people on it. Yeah, we haven't booked anyone yet

[01:10:14] But joe might be doing it. Nice

[01:10:17] Jo who?

[01:10:18] Jo p para or list maybe both joe p p

[01:10:22] Jo joe c penis. Um

[01:10:24] Um, yeah, i'm uh really kind of that uh joe para guy

[01:10:31] But yeah, it's December 10th funny mom's December 10th last one of the year and then it's I think christmas eve is the next one

[01:10:37] So we're not gonna do it christmassy. I believe it's christmas eve. You want christmas just for the j.o. Oh

[01:10:44] I'm gonna be i'm gonna be we can probably sell some tickets on christmas christmas eve not christmas eve

[01:10:49] Yeah, we could sell them. But then the problem is if people find out it's just you

[01:10:52] Are they still gonna come? You know what I mean? I think I think that that some would I think some some people just pretend

[01:10:59] We're gonna be there. Okay, I'll we're all gonna be there. We're all gonna be there. All right guys

[01:11:04] Have a good night come and also I don't want to comment on an active

[01:11:10] New York police department investigation. We have the anti terrorist squad looking into my assault

[01:11:15] Um, but oh yeah, we will get you some black man ran up to adam with a giant pair of scissors

[01:11:27] So adam started punching himself in the face until the guy let him

[01:11:31] You guys may laugh but when you see that giant pair of scissors coming towards you it's terrible. Yeah, it's fight or flight

[01:11:37] Um, so adam chose fighting himself and then I fought my

[01:11:40] It would honestly be so funny to see like a prosecutor pointing to a diagram with a drawing of me in a hot air balloon

[01:11:47] Giant scissors while like eve unsuspecting walks down the street. Yeah, you're dangling

[01:11:57] And this was his playing

[01:12:00] You're in a fucking top hat

[01:12:02] It's a bah

[01:12:04] All right, that's it for us boys and girls

[01:12:34] You