Cum Town | Regular | 12/20/2018
[00:00:00] Motherfucking come town fucking I'm heated a great miscarriage of fucking justice just transpired
[00:00:07] Oh fuck in a piece of shit at number one greatest injustice in American history probably
[00:00:13] Emancipation Proclamation okay and what's and what's sense number two
[00:00:19] murder of Lee Harvey Oswald by but Jack Ruby Jack Ruby oh I'm sorry did you want to
[00:00:25] I think it was incredibly unfair that I beat you guys fuck shut the fuck up I
[00:00:31] agree with you were losing the whole world on the same side shut the fuck up I don't
[00:00:36] care I wasn't even trying to win oh okay fuck you man I wanted to the game gave
[00:00:41] you three fucking stars and I tried to give you more but you're dumbass than
[00:00:45] having a fucking coin I would have had two more stars shut up we're yeah of course
[00:00:49] you're about Mario Party a game we're in the Mario Kart shut up it's for
[00:00:53] grown-up it's for everyone everyone dude what do you think the E on the box
[00:00:57] stands you said to me that Rocket League was for babies and that's not our adult
[00:01:00] in this game for everyone just like this started out suck cock at league which
[00:01:04] is a game in your apartment that's right anyways you put you know you're on all
[00:01:11] fours and you put little dildos on the end of truck like you have radio control
[00:01:16] you put another man's penis in a roller skate and he slides across the floor
[00:01:20] into your ass yeah remote control cars that's the word I was anyway RC yeah
[00:01:26] and they just like put those into your little Mario Party relaxing having a
[00:01:30] great time on stealing coins from Adam some of the controversy this week you
[00:01:36] know as you know Milo or Milo was banned from Patreon and then Sargon
[00:01:42] the power on I believe I have my dick I have I don't know I think he's like a
[00:01:49] wizard I said I'm gone suck a cock on I've been got he was kicked off he's
[00:01:54] casting a spell if I understand it correctly I think that's what it is and
[00:02:03] any no I mean because a couple people are mad and they're trying to they're
[00:02:06] pointing out that like why is it that he gets kicked off and we don't and just
[00:02:11] to make it clear it's because we're the good guys and he has a little less we're
[00:02:17] on the right side of history yep that's you say like well he's sarcastically
[00:02:21] useless lures and you sarcastically use racial slurs I have never once ever
[00:02:26] used a racial slur I'm gonna go on the record right now and say you will be
[00:02:33] hard-pressed to find any evidence of me using any kind of slur and honestly this
[00:02:40] suggestion of that first of all out of context it's insulted it's doctored
[00:02:44] no we're doing it's a classic case of everything's been doctored hacked I
[00:02:49] had been doctored I brought in one of my closest friends you may have seen him
[00:02:56] on one of those Fox UFO debunking yes who's here to you know might know his
[00:03:04] work from proving the moon landing is fake he's a debunking expert that's
[00:03:07] right and he's looked over some of these tapes his name is Richard Faggot
[00:03:13] Nagar that's just his name he's an Italian man okay and we don't have to say it
[00:03:20] again I know okay well I mean it's just it's a traditional Italian sir he's
[00:03:25] no one part of the boot is he you upset because his name is dick yeah I
[00:03:30] guess dude come on enough enough of that not for the poo poo stuff anyways he's
[00:03:34] he's got a clean he's because honestly like you know people have been trying to
[00:03:39] get us kicked off patreon and I I pay this man but also he's my friend and he's
[00:03:44] looked over the tapes and he said conclusively mm-hmm through his
[00:03:49] transitional aviator sunglasses and fishing vest and never takes up mm-hmm
[00:03:53] that not only are these tapes of me doctored mm-hmm but that the moon landing
[00:03:59] never happened and there's no such thing as black women he also said that
[00:04:03] really that had doctored that they're doctored are actually doctored and they
[00:04:14] do not only the women there are black eyes of course don't be ridiculous all
[00:04:19] right I just what are we living in some kind of fantasy land over here of
[00:04:24] course there's black man Sauron my friend is not insane yeah yeah whose name I
[00:04:31] will only say the one time again that is just his name that is you can you hear
[00:04:40] no okay no he wrote a letter okay let me yeah read the letters good that's the
[00:04:50] sound of paper being crinkle crinkle yeah read it read the audience you're in
[00:04:55] good points dear sir and madam that's me okay you're both
[00:05:03] from Arthur Richard who died Richard a matter
[00:05:14] we have reviewed the evidence presented by the YouTube Council of gaming and
[00:05:20] Kotaku the holy defenders of Sargon the N word the N word the N word the Sargon
[00:05:31] the mage of N word saying the dark mage
[00:05:37] come here and it has been proven without question these tapes like black
[00:05:44] women in the moon landing are severely doctored yours truly doctor that's how
[00:05:51] we can stop yes could you please not say my name on the show I get a lot of
[00:05:58] angry letters from people that think I'm not Italian yeah I think I'm doing a
[00:06:03] mean joke about Italian names yeah that's the mean joke in that one yeah so we
[00:06:10] thought we'd address that it's because you know like yeah we had to get that
[00:06:13] out there principled guys you know absolutely and things like freedom of
[00:06:16] speech they matter to us you know and specifically our own freedom of peach
[00:06:22] to getting to fuck each tomorrow each from our party I bet her pussy is just
[00:06:28] delightfully you know a hundred people like peach fuzz yeah the inside of a
[00:06:35] pussy feels like two people it feels like the peach from call me call me if you
[00:06:39] can yeah where call me if you can that movie where Leonardo DiCaprio is being
[00:06:44] pursued by Tom Hanks by army hammer Tom Hanks is trying to have gay sex
[00:06:50] Leonardo DiCaprio yeah call me on a bicycle yeah Italian countryside well
[00:06:57] well looking for this boy Frank Abigail Jr. and when I find him I'm gonna hold
[00:07:02] him down and fuck him my name is agent Tom Hanks of the federal bureau of
[00:07:08] investor Gorsha he's got a boss in accent and yeah yeah no I know I alright
[00:07:15] pink alright p-tech to Penny Marshall to speak to some Tom Hanks bangers she
[00:07:21] did I didn't realize she did big and League of their own mm-hmm those are some
[00:07:24] hard dick-ass movies yeah rocks to the five that stuffs you were playing other
[00:07:30] round bitch let's go um the yeah a legal is good also Penny Marshall was a big
[00:07:36] fan of come town to yeah on the record it's true thanks for the card yeah that
[00:07:45] is working such a dumb ass name there's names I don't get what it is something
[00:07:50] what is his deal I don't know he's racist and a gamer he's that is a little
[00:07:56] last I literally have no idea or is he not racist no he's definitely racist oh I
[00:08:01] think he's racist he's racist and a fucking you're any name and people say the
[00:08:06] shit whatever the fuck his name is with a straight face sorry god I'm a fucking
[00:08:11] pudgy ass yeah call him his real fucking name I like that like because of
[00:08:16] podcasting guys like us and him go from people who would have just been working
[00:08:21] at the mall for the rest of their lives like I would be in GameStop being like
[00:08:25] look at that fucking loser that works in the sword store yeah and it would have
[00:08:31] been sargon but seriously free his name text is Carl and he keeps changing it
[00:08:36] to sargon and his boss is like Carl Carl I take again you fire Carl you do that
[00:08:41] one more time we're going how to let you go the more management says that women
[00:08:46] have complained and they can't they don't know your real name when they
[00:08:52] file sexual harassment complaint we don't know what man they ask for
[00:08:55] directions how to get to the hallmarks and you answer with a riddle that involves
[00:08:59] the size of your business stop making them guess how may I
[00:09:12] a father come down from we have wizard names yeah I want to be sucked
[00:09:20] dickio so my dick I would just go by Adam I'm gonna be plans dwarf I want to
[00:09:28] be hard dick yes Glansdorf Glansdorf and hard gandalf is that his name yeah yeah
[00:09:33] yeah the white is Gandalf in the white wizard I want to be back the white I
[00:09:38] want to be stuck there if suck dick bull door suck dick bull door dum dum who
[00:09:44] apparently Dumbledore is gay now he was being played in like some prequels by
[00:09:49] Jude law or some shit yeah and the fantastic be just wearing a suit that's
[00:09:53] weird I saw it on the plane the first one oh was a good no now serious now
[00:09:59] what the fuck hold on he just sexy Jude law in a fucking suit and then he
[00:10:03] becomes like a fucking starts wearing like robes and shit well yeah when you
[00:10:06] get older your hair turns wide yeah what the fuck happened the wizards like
[00:10:12] the wizards get into retro shit is that what's going on what they they
[00:10:15] dressed regular in Harry Potter and then they all went to robes yeah that's
[00:10:20] because of his role as a educator oh so teachers all have to dress gay shit
[00:10:26] yeah I guess so that's pretty cool yep I think it's a lot like the election
[00:10:31] I've got a nogwarts nogwarts I guess what happens there they celebrate with
[00:10:37] the seasonal festive ring that everyone loves I know it's tough because Hogwarts
[00:10:42] is already it means dick warts have you slobbed some nog this season yet oh
[00:10:47] slob on my nog I hate when I offer to get eggnog and some dumb bitch is like I
[00:10:51] don't like egg dog it's good I've never had women just like oh I don't like it
[00:10:59] that's every woman who lives off come is there a difference between the two
[00:11:07] why you too good to buy your cum in a store and it's sweet cum all sweet
[00:11:12] come with you put a little naked hat up to here with these picky women yeah let's
[00:11:16] go in on them let's do my god yeah you listen to that fellas podcast I'm
[00:11:22] freaking done with these broons you're really he was there is so dang stupid
[00:11:29] let me tell you dude every time a dumb girl says something fucking dumb I'm
[00:11:33] like bitch every time every time that's so true I was in you yeah there's that one
[00:11:41] hot girl that was like remember that hot girl that she turned and looked at
[00:11:45] us and I was like fucking we're like stop looking at us shut up don't listen and
[00:11:51] then we just kind of left yeah we left that fucking bitch dude and we were like
[00:11:55] mirroring the parking lot like dude if yeah she's lucky she didn't look at me
[00:12:00] another dude I would have fucking punched her right I swear dude I was about to
[00:12:04] beat the shit out of that yeah yeah you know I'd love doing that I love
[00:12:09] hitting women I'll just lose it when I just can't take it anymore she comes
[00:12:15] home from oh yeah she's just in my fucking ass oh my god like you're just
[00:12:20] putting mom step all the way into the ass well
[00:12:24] mom shut the fuck up fuck you everything said she guys everything that mom's are
[00:12:31] also chicks they are chicks though so sure you forget that though Adam
[00:12:35] Friedlin class this is one of your business a Friedlin I thought we were
[00:12:40] just doing dumb dumb saying dumb thing if I was saying the actual thing you would
[00:12:44] pitch what an actual bit you guys if you're doing his mom's or our chicks also
[00:12:50] that's true yeah are you trying to say you want to I'm trying to work out a
[00:12:54] new closer you want you want to fuck our mom our collective mom dude we could
[00:12:58] fuck our moms because they are chicks that's the point yeah it's true yeah okay
[00:13:02] I'm I'm back at mom Hank's he's like I'm looking for my son Frank Abbagnale
[00:13:07] junior so I can first have gay sex with him and pitch at him until I buy him a
[00:13:11] switch and then it's all all of that okay now does he have a pussy does he
[00:13:17] have a pussy yes we're compounding having gay sex with the last 20 minutes of the
[00:13:22] podcast has been compiled I don't think we've done like seven minutes
[00:13:29] huh do I remember what my dick in the middle of your life do you ever notice that
[00:13:36] who would probably be the best at giving head who us guys because we know
[00:13:43] exactly what we want right nice we've been thinking about that since we said
[00:13:47] here's another Adam classic no let's try to bring another one yeah that is
[00:13:53] true yeah hmm are you trying to suck I think dogs would be the best of giving
[00:13:58] head no way they got to things yeah but they mean I think something with someone
[00:14:03] try that peanut thing I'm mad I didn't try the peanut butter thing when I was
[00:14:06] younger my dick was more sensitive yeah did you ever that felt awesome getting
[00:14:10] a dog but I had access to dogs someone else is dog do it with your own dog
[00:14:17] dude look if you're gonna fuck a dog you better just fuck somebody else I
[00:14:20] guess you're right that's like fucking you don't want to fuck yeah like if you
[00:14:23] are a pedophile it's like you're gonna fuck your own kid a lot of them do that what
[00:14:27] are you the Joker one of the small movies when we were in the jungle in
[00:14:36] Burma there was a man coming into the village raping all the little boys for
[00:14:42] forty nine was trying to figure out who was coming into the village to write
[00:14:46] those little boys and then we found out it was the boys father the point is
[00:14:53] master Wayne it's some men just want to wash away all bad some men just want to
[00:14:59] fuck a boy master what what sorry so I think people that's the best of getting
[00:15:07] headed someone with a very wet mouth that also has like Parkinson's yeah and
[00:15:10] they have a shake yeah Michael J. Fox you know I heard they were having my
[00:15:16] Fox I would love that my father still Bob won true stand-up comedy bits I've
[00:15:23] ever heard of my life it's so funny yeah we're talking about a guy from DC folks
[00:15:28] but he goes you guys speaking of which which no one was speaking of it at all
[00:15:33] yeah I heard that they got Michael J. Fox playing the new Batman which like
[00:15:38] is not yeah the bit is like what is Batman doing it has nothing to do with Parkinson's
[00:15:46] no no no is that Batman has his shoes on the wrong feet yes that's which is
[00:15:51] like that was his target for Parkinson's see what he was means in his mind that
[00:15:56] you are retarded and not that your hands and feet shake yeah yeah that would be
[00:16:02] good he's diagnosed I would love to have sex with the king Bob on you've been
[00:16:07] talking about that for quite some time this big mustache and shit he wears those
[00:16:11] mittens would you fuck his ass or what do you fuck your ass I mean he would hold
[00:16:16] my ass and guide me into his ass he would use his strengths to make me fuck
[00:16:20] his ass so your whole body would be a dick essentially no my dick would still
[00:16:25] be my dick but he would see oh he'd be using you as icy as like a dildo you'd
[00:16:31] be completely powerless even though you're fucking him if you could fuck one
[00:16:34] video game character what would it be this one right here oh yeah oh my god it
[00:16:40] would definitely fuck Birdo's mouth what is that it's birdo dude Joe's your
[00:16:43] girlfriend no that's not Yoshi's girlfriend Joe Yoshi's girlfriend yo
[00:16:47] Yoshi's slob by that every night your dick and bowl she literally just has a
[00:16:51] flashlight on her face yeah that's awesome yeah look she's married to oh she's
[00:16:56] misses got a ring oh my gosh she got a big ring love the fuck Yoshi's wife it's
[00:17:01] not his wife the octphone you'd be of Katerine kicks us off for threatening
[00:17:05] to fuck Yoshi's wife what is Mario Party winner called super star what are you
[00:17:13] doing taking it you doing like a oh you get a sticker oh that's I put it over a
[00:17:17] pussy no take that all the way off take the sticker off bird oh let me get in
[00:17:23] them pink guts what's partner if Birdo's if Birdo was pink what color do you
[00:17:28] think the inside of her pussy is about turdo but answer my question first black
[00:17:33] you think your pussy's black oh yeah light blue like a Pakistani girls
[00:17:37] no there's it's like a giraffe's tongue have you ever seen a giraffe song somebody
[00:17:43] bring me my phone I have to look up a Pakistani my dead grandpa somebody get
[00:17:50] grandpa's phone so what do you think grandpa's phone now that he've answered
[00:17:55] my question I will say I like it in in response to what about turdo what you
[00:18:03] like what Nick asked what about turdo and I am who's turdo he just said what about
[00:18:09] those are like pretty pink pussies to me man no yeah that's a pink pussy that's
[00:18:14] of trans that's fake no these are all fake those are pink pussies brother
[00:18:19] mmm check your privilege man maybe is I know what you're saying in terms of deep
[00:18:25] perp like a purple ish yeah but light blue that's now that's too cartoonish for
[00:18:31] human woman's pussy avatar you ever see the movie avatar yeah what is the inside
[00:18:36] of their pussies look like they fuck with the their tail their ponytails oh yeah
[00:18:43] they like whoa damn this one yeah I mean it's dark but look how big
[00:18:49] fuck it is oh god are you looking at Navi porn right now no we're not allowed
[00:18:54] to look at this no let me come on this is off limits for it don't touch right I
[00:19:00] don't like this games hey you know what off limits I want to see that no you
[00:19:04] get too horny man that real uncut Navi shit would you if you had to fuck one
[00:19:10] color alien would you pick green or blue well you got that girl from the what's
[00:19:17] the call the Chris Pratt thing where there it's been she always so we saw Donna
[00:19:23] also an avatar girl yeah wow damn she's got green and and she's I was just
[00:19:29] fuck so we saw Donna no I didn't say so we saw Donna bitch you would have to
[00:19:33] choose you did the alien actually you said Joey saw the show show I didn't
[00:19:37] motherfucker no I don't know I said if you get the fuck an alien would it be
[00:19:44] green or blue I would fuck I would probably fuck you dude I would pick green I would
[00:19:50] pick green have you seen Star Trek as long as the titties aren't hard no they
[00:19:55] of course they would be soft the fuck oh well you don't know they're aliens well
[00:19:59] I'm talking aliens in popular like the Star Trek green bitches in the you
[00:20:05] I'm actually getting a doctor my friend dr. Richard well you're telling me
[00:20:12] that green women are also a myth they've been debunked what yeah green and
[00:20:17] yellow green and blue alien women he's listening to the podcast live live he's
[00:20:21] got the live feed yeah hey but whatever man all I know is I would like to fuck a
[00:20:27] human woman airbrushed green how about that can we just say that with big ass
[00:20:32] yeah Adam you're not even gonna finish your pokeball dude I'm saving it for
[00:20:37] after the pot I didn't want to chew on Mike out of respect for the audience
[00:20:41] you're just gonna leave raw fish out you motherfucker yeah just stink up the
[00:20:45] fucking apartment with raw what do you mean it's just closed the pokeball
[00:20:48] you're gonna get a stomachache I'm worried about you I think stop once the
[00:20:53] post I'll just hold it if you want first don't eat my poke people I'm gonna put
[00:20:57] it in the fridge anyway the holiday season boys yeah and you can bet on which
[00:21:05] holiday is bet the aside our is it Ramadan is it Ramadan what is Ramadan
[00:21:10] bed at bet the aside is it the day that Muhammad first gifted his pubes to his
[00:21:17] four-year-old wife takes that political correctness something I
[00:21:24] understand I don't think it is that happened I don't think so take that just
[00:21:28] saying you can bet on it that's not something we believe that's something you
[00:21:32] could settle is Ramadan the day where you can go into any Ramada in and have sex
[00:21:37] with the concierge gun for are you allowed to do that on Ramadan is
[00:21:42] every Ramadan is that's a good one yeah what are some you know I really like
[00:21:49] bet the assignment you know well no there's that to be other options that on
[00:21:53] bet the aside that common you can bet on what Ramadan is is it the classic
[00:21:58] Muslim holiday where everyone dresses up like Santa and goes and ruins the low
[00:22:02] reason you think you're confusing Santa con oh yeah Santa con Ramadan
[00:22:08] yeah they you're right I am but those are the three choice it's one of all
[00:22:14] sorry that's one of those three will have to come up with different choice because
[00:22:17] you just said is Ramadan synonymous with Santa con that's true what about Frank
[00:22:24] Sinatra Don Ram a Don is it is it shoving your dick into a guy named
[00:22:30] Don's ass right up mmm find out on at bed dsi.com what are Muslim people bet on
[00:22:41] it at that dsi.com we're gonna let you figure that one out no does it mean
[00:22:46] people who are really in the Star Trek could be which is the word bet on
[00:22:51] wet the inside of which is worse Klingons or Muslims that's a really easy bet guys
[00:23:03] you know it's definitely one of them you have to pick one so bet the
[00:23:08] as they've been and the thing about bit business over a million years maybe
[00:23:13] since the dawn of time hang out just dinosaurs were betting aside dot com
[00:23:17] is paid out the other source has good four hundred trillion dollars to winners
[00:23:22] this this week alone that's right dude they are the worst company they suck
[00:23:29] dick at picking their their words for you that's you making money forms called
[00:23:34] bet the SI.com the worst company in the entire world that but the best one also
[00:23:39] the best one the gamble at but they are profitability while solvent the company
[00:23:44] is owned by a retarded he's one of the the humbles yeah and she's in bread she's
[00:23:53] got that fucked up jaw like that one got it yeah she's got a weird jaw and she
[00:23:58] can fit a lot of dicks in there a lot of their jaws actually that's how it got
[00:24:02] fucked up from all the insects all the gay and and a lot of fat and her name is
[00:24:08] Betsy but she's ever gotten it spelling it is B E T D S I and that's
[00:24:14] the name of the web was found it so she purse you're betting against this dumb
[00:24:20] bitch my name is Betsy and you're betting against this woman is horribly in
[00:24:26] bread half yeah so you're so you're losing money not betting against this
[00:24:33] fucking idiot so you go what you what you're gonna want to do is go to bet the
[00:24:37] side that I come and put in some fucking but and listen they got it you're doing
[00:24:42] against or during the game look you don't like going to websites I hear you I'm
[00:24:45] not my website got myself I'm about apps you know I'll pull my phone up and
[00:24:50] typing in things and saying saying doing things on my phone yeah I like an
[00:24:58] easy to use mobile playing interface love that shit and that's something you
[00:25:02] could get a bet the SI dot com you know the the app was is actually the best
[00:25:07] design because the girl that owns the website is in a Steven Hawking chair
[00:25:12] and can only communicate only one of this yeah one of those fancy I computer
[00:25:18] imagine that all the machinery that has to go into keeping this dumb bitch a
[00:25:23] lot mm-hmm we'll also went into making this beautiful app mobile playing
[00:25:27] interface play win get paid mm-hmm bet the SI offers odds on pretty much
[00:25:32] everything else to oh everything else you know I didn't Ramadan all major sports
[00:25:37] politics reality TV dot dot dot pretty much everything that's this is the copy
[00:25:47] they told me to read pretty much everything else everything else
[00:25:51] including all major sports all major politics politics reality TV TV pretty
[00:25:58] much everything that's everything pretty much pretty much you dumb mother
[00:26:02] farmers you have to think of this is nothing else I can think of the battle
[00:26:06] no I don't know dog fights maybe free Michael Vick yeah you would be nice set
[00:26:13] up set up simulated dog fights between famous dogs oh that's a website you
[00:26:19] could create an integrated that's good use the bet the SI API that's right the
[00:26:24] ask pussy it's an ask pussy index how close the woman's
[00:26:29] pussy the perfect one if she scores a zero they're very poor yeah if the gold
[00:26:37] race they have the same yeah a woman's asshole should be 3.6 one times tighter
[00:26:43] than her pussy that's right and if she nails that then that's that's what's
[00:26:50] yeah that's a gold ratio you know that little spiral that's a crowd that's
[00:26:55] a karate yes Fibonacci so karate so karate yeah so anyway you've been on
[00:27:02] whether any girl in the world has what how far pussy and they got a using the
[00:27:08] you can use the app from anywhere that's the other thing to use it anywhere
[00:27:15] you forgot to say that say what but you could use it anywhere yeah I forgot to
[00:27:19] mention that you can use that app pretty much pretty much anywhere anything
[00:27:23] anywhere like you know how no other apps work that way
[00:27:28] absolutely like yeah I only work in certain areas yeah you try you seamless
[00:27:33] at a place with no restaurants around you can suck you can see you can lick
[00:27:38] the steam on my balls Nick's ball sack my seemed up balls my balls of those
[00:27:44] team he has extra stitches that's because Nick seemed himself up an extra he goes
[00:27:49] he has a cross for the Lord he went one left and right well I have I have you
[00:27:54] know I did it up like a baseball yeah oh you got the baseball pattern yeah and
[00:28:00] you tell your girl to suck you like a slider like she's doing a slider give
[00:28:04] me the splitting goes she's licking the asshole number 47 Diane so yeah here he
[00:28:16] comes in there it is looks like a single right to the left eye it's an easy out
[00:28:24] and she's making his way to the mound doing one or two licks and these
[00:28:30] falling asleep that's it Nick I can tell you're not asleep and he's
[00:28:36] remembering you're still narrating you hate cheating pussy you're narrating
[00:28:41] you going to sleep while eating my pussy and pretending it's a baseball game
[00:28:45] remember the bit is more important than you getting off
[00:28:50] boy to do a bit you ever do a bit during sex always always me I'm doing a bit
[00:28:55] every time I thought they yeah he's having sex with a woman Adam that's the
[00:28:59] greatest bit it must be so annoying to have sex with us and we finished to read
[00:29:04] making sure some professionals oh I thought we're back on no no can I keep
[00:29:08] doing readings yeah keep me off for live and game way drink keep reading you can
[00:29:13] make plays throughout the games and events so let's say that let's say you're
[00:29:18] you're watching the big game right and you're thinking what's the smart play
[00:29:22] here oh yeah bingles what's hot money no fuck Cincinnati or a there why you say
[00:29:28] fuck since I didn't like it you didn't like it thank you everyone who came out
[00:29:32] but that town sucks my cock yeah Ohio sucks in general we went in on that on
[00:29:37] the last one yeah yeah about how people are like that's so Ohio like people from
[00:29:41] there do they do that get a new thing anyway yeah I mean it's the worst state
[00:29:46] it sounds like a deaf person named it it is like it's all the show to Pennsylvania
[00:29:52] West Virginia Columbus is right college town Columbus actually was the cool I
[00:29:57] liked Columbus they got a MLS team the crew well they do you're right anyway
[00:30:03] promo code of what is it what are we betting on this week this week we got
[00:30:08] a take Ramirez against Chuck Chucknikov yeah yeah yeah I bet he's I've been
[00:30:14] really impressed by his ground in pound or whatever dumb shit I fucking hate
[00:30:18] mixed martial arts no it's fun to watch no it's there new one pretty fucking
[00:30:22] boring there's a new fight this weekend yeah Malik the cop or just suck
[00:30:27] my ring Malik my look my cock Chuck Liddell single-dill did play got his
[00:30:34] ass smoke junior tiny nuts the Sun Tays
[00:30:41] now the sponsor by pistachio he was raised in the back of a Volkswagen bug
[00:30:45] and for Bella outside of Rio de Chacaca and his parents were actually dirt
[00:30:53] just pieces of dirt he's born in yeah nigarbit and he he is got own
[00:31:00] evidence that communism is a bad idea so take little nuts Ramirez to that this
[00:31:07] weekend take that to the you sign up later this promo code CUM 120 so they
[00:31:12] know we sent you when you sign up you've got some options you can just play
[00:31:15] and cash out or you can take the bonus money which is like getting a casino
[00:31:19] comp up front before you've played at the tables Wow can you imagine that you
[00:31:23] walk into a casino somebody says sir here you go here's a piece of shrimp or
[00:31:28] whatever I don't know a casino contest yeah cigarettes pussy yeah here's here's
[00:31:33] here's a woman's pussy smoking to just fucking use just use this bitch
[00:31:40] you're second it's a Bellagio and that's what the bonus money is just like that
[00:31:45] and as a rollover requirement but it's free cash so if you're gonna be in the
[00:31:49] sports book which is where we love the fucking sports book I like sitting there
[00:31:53] just watching the games they got big TVs yeah sure yeah that's so right yep I
[00:31:58] love going into that sports book area at the casino oh dude it's not my big
[00:32:03] cowboy hat my assless chaps right you know what I bet it was a feller got to
[00:32:08] do around here to fuck and you know what I bet on six you ever see those buggy
[00:32:15] races they always got those plana no at sports books yeah you never see
[00:32:20] look I have Adam I have what's it called psych so come 120 is como como
[00:32:28] pro one com 20 and some como pro one com 20
[00:32:34] scoops damn my brain pro a code come 120 and you get the comp and you get the
[00:32:40] pussy and I'm doing a dollar I'm gonna give you 60% bonus cash return thousand
[00:32:46] sixteen under play with once again that's bet the aside come on 20 come on
[00:32:51] 20 let's start the show I'm a gay guy they call me the gay guy on the
[00:32:57] McLaughlin group but they decide well I want to close fuck me 21 to one odds
[00:33:02] I want balls in your court this is highly inappropriate come on give me a
[00:33:10] little struggle I get a whiff of your pussy at least
[00:33:13] I think she's the total bitch happy with kind of what does Ellen
[00:33:21] those pussy smell like the Holocaust never happened that guy's a straight up
[00:33:27] Holocaust and I are Buchanan cool that we had to make this about you it's about
[00:33:32] us doing a bit for everybody and now yep now it's Adams bit corner I can you
[00:33:39] guys do bits during sex man I'm I'm definitely serious oh I do Joe that's
[00:33:43] because you're so like disgusting and physically laughable the look no dude
[00:33:47] the whole concept of making a passionate love and then go like whispering in
[00:33:52] some way to make a passion love making passionate love and then while you're
[00:33:55] doing it whispering something and someone's here you could say you could
[00:33:58] really you could really play with that format and say some very funny things
[00:34:03] no man you just got a fuck you got to get some nuts off I love telling my
[00:34:08] girlfriend she's canceled when the cock comes out that's when I get serious
[00:34:12] no when I'm deep inside dying of laughter and your laughable day no no my joke
[00:34:17] it's not my joke you miss it or my joke I said my job I said this time I was
[00:34:21] like I didn't realize that laughable thing was a podcast app and not the
[00:34:26] size of your dick you got that I said that to you earlier I said that you
[00:34:32] said it better I did I but kind of jumbled into well it you should I mean
[00:34:37] you don't even have to be there you kind of appreciated so we tell us all
[00:34:40] about all the bits that we did on the show and he was in Ohio yeah what did
[00:34:44] you guys do we talked to some girl that says you raped her yeah she was
[00:34:50] crying that didn't happen you had some girl says you sexually assaulted her
[00:34:55] on she said that it wasn't a physical sexual assault but she was that I was
[00:35:00] create that it was she was traumatized she was traumatized she had a stylish
[00:35:04] old angels tattoo on her pussy and I asked to see it with my tongue and how
[00:35:07] do you get a tattoo on your pussy yeah I think I like to do is a nerd is to just
[00:35:12] walking down the street punch a woman in the face and rip her clothes off and say
[00:35:17] I was looking for Pluto and when people question me I go I'm a scientist I'm a
[00:35:23] fan yeah I have a beaker I put a beaker in a girl's pussy and I'm like I'm doing
[00:35:27] an experiment I'm doing science you fucking dumb bitch last time scientist
[00:35:35] I'm a fucking scientist you can't get mad at me I love having gay sex Mario
[00:35:43] sharky Mario shardy my head hurts what's wrong bro I barely suck last night
[00:35:50] that's why I sound like I'm fucking stoned on this episode yeah dude I'll be
[00:35:56] better for people next time I just thought so I was back it's gonna be easier I
[00:36:00] don't have to talk as well we've been playing Mario play for six hours yeah
[00:36:03] I'm so sorry you get to one episode where you work
[00:36:10] jeez I can't imagine it is exhaust that much be used how stick have to talk for an
[00:36:18] hour to release half the time and I'm saying they probably did at least 75% of
[00:36:23] the talking so yep that's 25 it would be funny heavy lift it would be really
[00:36:27] funny to see a breakdown of how many minutes per like episode I've had some
[00:36:32] straw I don't think I've had single digits you might have there have been some
[00:36:37] I've flirted with it yeah you can't count laughter either yeah or or then
[00:36:46] laughing and repeating something that somebody said I've never repeated
[00:36:50] anything anyone else is so that's 90% of your jokes on the show what do you
[00:36:55] mean repeating being like you know good like a good punchline then be like
[00:37:00] yeah that's not true I have a lot of jokes on the show okay the one where I
[00:37:08] called myself a bug who eats dust no that wasn't you the one where I called
[00:37:13] myself a baby who likes baby things fuck up do you want to shut up all right new
[00:37:20] topic of discussion okay ready set Russia
[00:37:27] I was little woman in the world Ron including Eleanor of course
[00:37:33] I like going to invade Poland and turn them into sex life
[00:37:38] okay yes and we should nuke them right now we should you honestly I gotta say
[00:37:43] Putin had a good ass year man yeah he could just get to do whatever fucking
[00:37:48] yeah yeah let's let's go power rankings Putin really nailed it
[00:37:53] who just poons up there and I it's pretty funny that you can just fuck up a guy with a
[00:37:57] bone saw and everyone's like I whatever the Saudi straight up the
[00:38:01] Saudi's just say then the Saudis just admit they did 9-11 yeah they did do
[00:38:06] 9-11 that shit is fucking yeah and then they told Canada they'd fuck them up
[00:38:12] shout out to Saudi Arabia yeah and also fuck that Canada guy I don't like him at
[00:38:16] all true dough yeah it's fucking loser yeah anybody anybody's ethnically French
[00:38:22] is trash I agree is he is he a Quebecois of course that's fucking his dad was
[00:38:28] Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau it was Pierre of course I'm a man's name how
[00:38:35] about a French minister oh Prime Minister it's like a dark priest what he does
[00:38:42] is he has sex with you okay about 30% of the Catholic yeah it's it's venom any
[00:38:50] good I kind of want to watch oh I saw the tongue it looks disgusting the reviews
[00:38:54] of it make it seem like it's bad but then I think the reviews just think it's
[00:38:57] bad because it's not it's just like a dumb movie mm-hmm and not like that
[00:39:02] Marvel bullshit we're like yeah should the government be spying on people
[00:39:07] yeah he's like a spider like fuck yeah he gives me shit why didn't he be relevant
[00:39:13] well he's like a bat he's he's like an alien I thought there's an Eminem there's
[00:39:18] an Eminem soundtrack which is Eminem does all the songs that tells you
[00:39:22] everything you need to know is that for real no but he's got a song on it that's
[00:39:26] you get by an alien and now I'm gay alien for me and living damn I'm
[00:39:32] never did say he's on grinder yeah now I'm a grinder yeah and now I'm all
[00:39:38] right I think he's by no way I think I can everyone would know that I'm not
[00:39:43] even fucking kidding dude I'm for real Eminem's gay he said he said something
[00:39:47] about like he says he uses he use this is like six months ago if I like people
[00:39:52] ablaze was like he's like I use all the dating apps I use Tinder I use grinder
[00:39:56] that's that's a quote from Eminem maybe he's joking no I think he's fucking I know
[00:40:02] him says he uses gay dating up guys you know I wonder is from a year ago I
[00:40:07] I couldn't use the dating apps for a while because my penis isn't working but
[00:40:13] then I went to blue chew go and they send me medicine that makes us the
[00:40:19] medicine custom medicine from blue chew calm that makes my dick work just like
[00:40:25] it did when it sucked it went just regular sock yeah exactly if you have a
[00:40:31] fucked up dick like me and Nick it'll make your dick just kind of adequate
[00:40:36] again yeah with a lot of hemming and hawing you get actually fuck he was
[00:40:40] making a joke Eminem's not gay he's making a joke yeah right apologize it said
[00:40:46] as spokesman said that it was a joke no he's gay that would fucking rule that
[00:40:52] would explain the little gas beard he's got now it looks like a gay man's beard
[00:40:58] oh cool just leave now Adam you motherfucker
[00:41:01] oh you suck ass dude all I wanted was a little fucking support all my his
[00:41:06] gay no we're doing blue chew man's beard whatever I'm going you you literally
[00:41:13] heard me say it you're just walking away I'm not walking away I was just getting
[00:41:16] more water I gotta find a fucking copy this is so it's so funny I was so excited
[00:41:21] to have them as a sponsor because it's like oh this is something like I actually
[00:41:24] well listen you want me to speak from the heart man you know it's been nice is
[00:41:27] like taking those dick pills and like not even fucking we're beating yeah just
[00:41:33] like having a hard-ass dick out of nowhere right because I'm a drug addict so
[00:41:37] like just taking a pill and having something happened is like an event yeah
[00:41:42] you know and I get something out of that it's like even if you don't need dick
[00:41:45] pills you should probably go to blue chew calm and buy them anyways it's fun
[00:41:49] because it's like drinking non-alcoholic beer yeah if you have like an opiate
[00:41:53] problem or whatever just make sure you lie about having another drug issue on
[00:41:59] the intake for because they do you like they do need an actual prescription
[00:42:03] medical visit doctor on there so they're they're 100% legal advice no I think
[00:42:11] you have to be careful because it's a medicine company yeah no let's not
[00:42:16] shoes let me say this boots from Chicago let let us say this do not lie on the
[00:42:24] thing to get dick pills do not be official do that stance if you have some kind of
[00:42:31] hard condition or they ask you about other use of drugs do not lie to get the
[00:42:37] dick pills if you have high blood pressure do not lie about that me and
[00:42:44] Nick certainly have not done that I have never any such thing and we will not we
[00:42:51] will not we do not want to record as saying that I have never done cocaine
[00:42:56] no nor do I have heart issues right I don't I do not see stars when I stand up
[00:43:03] and neither do I as of recently I do not I do not have to hold on to the wall
[00:43:11] every time I sneeze because everything goes dark for a second I have not taken
[00:43:18] somebody dick pills the vision in my left eye starts to flicker that is for
[00:43:23] sure yeah I have not taken an entire quote unquote month's supply just to see
[00:43:31] what happened and neither should you yeah it's all this shit is by a doctor but
[00:43:37] no waiting in line or any of that fucking no waiting in line at the none of
[00:43:40] that embarrassing pharmacy line where they they go like whoa sir next are these
[00:43:45] your dick pills I die with a little last dick that doesn't get hard your
[00:43:50] prescription is ready excuse me the small penis man
[00:43:54] the hot woman who was gonna fuck him until I said this yeah with the woman
[00:44:00] whose tits that has attached you on them it says anyone is allowed to fuck me as
[00:44:04] long as they don't need dick pills your dick pills are ready that's a thing of
[00:44:10] the past that's the thing which used to happen to me six times a fucking day
[00:44:13] yeah now you can take the dick pills hang out in the pharmacy
[00:44:19] you'd be like oh yeah I'm not here for dick pills I don't need stuff like that
[00:44:22] what's your name yeah my my name is Richard my last name it's actually it's
[00:44:26] so yeah that's the best part and look at saying seeing is how you don't do any
[00:44:36] of that you just take one dose you get your dick nice and hard it's good for
[00:44:40] you it's good for your fucking partner she's gonna be coming all over that
[00:44:44] fucking suddenly hard and thank you for saying partner stuff too I also said
[00:44:48] she but she or he she he or she will be getting stuffed right whether it's the
[00:44:54] bung hole or the pussy yeah the mouth maybe you you use his nuts like a
[00:45:00] fucking flesh like you wrap his nuts around your hard-ass dick and fuck that
[00:45:04] and it's chewable so they work faster than pills yep straight into your
[00:45:08] head the same active ingredients is Viagra and Seattle which is you had to
[00:45:12] fill in some other shit so that's good yeah that's the good stuff and you can
[00:45:18] take it on a full or empty stomach because they're chewable yep and if
[00:45:22] you're like stop and you don't have teeth you can just suck off plenty of
[00:45:25] teeth but sov is sometimes I suck on them for the flavors stop it literally
[00:45:29] incapable of taking his chewable dick pills anymore
[00:45:32] this is dissolving my mouth because he's he's too fat for teeth it ships directly
[00:45:39] your door and discrete packaging no doctor visit no awkward conversation
[00:45:42] I put him in my smoothie they give you confidence in bed every time you and
[00:45:47] your partner will love it because you know confidence is everything fellas oh
[00:45:51] yeah sometimes for when I'm on a job interview mm-hmm to feel more confident
[00:45:55] I take for blue shoes and my dick is hard as shit coming through my khakis
[00:45:59] and that gives me the confidence to be together the deli guy at key for two
[00:46:04] paths to confidence you're either somebody that's been gifted in life and
[00:46:08] you live a blissful delusional existence to somebody that just has
[00:46:13] things or you accept complete utter and total defeat there's somebody who's dick
[00:46:18] doesn't work people don't fucking like you you're gonna die anyways and then
[00:46:23] you sink into that and that's where real confidence yes mm-hmm acceptance it's
[00:46:28] better than the natural right exactly because then you can fuck the kind of
[00:46:33] women that don't care that you're taking the kinds of women who whether you were
[00:46:40] hard or not truly doesn't even matter you're not gonna fulfill them sexually
[00:46:45] or emotionally yeah you're just kind of wasting they've never had more if you
[00:46:50] were paying them if you feel less guilty you would feel better yeah you
[00:46:57] would then if it weren't just some kind of mutual defeat we were both doing an
[00:47:04] impression of happier people acting like you don't have problems shit so you're
[00:47:12] not thinking about some terrible things while you're inside of it blue shoes you
[00:47:17] out I think of tragedies yeah I think you just embarrassment oh I just think
[00:47:24] they say yeah is that what you think Nick think you think look how cool I am you
[00:47:28] know what I'm thinking sex I'm Adam sometimes I do think that I can't look
[00:47:32] out cool I have been thought that before I'm thinking damn nice like looking at
[00:47:38] titties I think this is the ultimate see that's the thing I don't think while I
[00:47:42] fuck it's the best you're an animal I overthink your life yeah and I'm just
[00:47:47] finally the push I'm smelling pussy juice in the air them when it mists up
[00:47:51] and turns into vapor and it's it's my nostrils I'm not doing bits I'm not
[00:47:56] thinking about it I have the same exact thoughts I have in the shower
[00:48:08] fuck cuz you have a Lufa in your ass both times no I don't actually wash
[00:48:13] myself in the shower I just stand there hmm I just go through my enemies list in
[00:48:18] my brain anyway I think to myself damn it I would love to be in the kind of
[00:48:23] shower that doesn't have water that comes out of the boss well I'm having sex I
[00:48:28] feel like an animal and nothing turns me into more of a nothing turns me into a
[00:48:33] fucking ape like blue chew I was saying that pussy like a silver bag
[00:48:39] gorillas have small dicks because that way you can tell women you have a gorilla
[00:48:42] dead I mean you're allowed to beat them to death oh yeah
[00:48:47] you're a gorilla yeah I mean you already have the gorilla I like this
[00:48:51] with Carnovich yeah yeah exactly I don't know the end go ahead do the bad
[00:48:54] Adam you said it a second before go ahead do it I'm not stealing anything
[00:48:57] oh god no I'm done go ahead do it nothing go ahead
[00:49:02] blue chew dot com slash because you because in the mics are no which has the
[00:49:07] book about being like a being like an ape which I haven't oh well he's got a
[00:49:14] book on look like it looks like we got a regular Matilda over here Matilda was
[00:49:18] the smartest girl blue chew dot com slash town oh yeah no that's the other one
[00:49:26] you got a blue chew dot com your first order free and use promo code come town
[00:49:30] nice salute to them you all capital letters you just pay the five bucks for
[00:49:33] shipping and so that's like that's just that's tight actually because it's like
[00:49:37] fucking it's pretty medicine bro yeah it's a medicine you know we all want free
[00:49:42] Medicaid yeah this is Medicaid from what I understand from angry women online
[00:49:48] mm-hmm is the dick pills are covered by something I think yeah old guys can get
[00:49:54] thank you women yeah old guys can get dick pills you can't well that's a
[00:49:58] defensive like you know birth control being and you see people get an
[00:50:02] arguments about like employers should have to pay for birth control you slide
[00:50:06] or whatever they pay for dick pills and women are like I need the birth control
[00:50:09] for more than just fucking a billion yeah yeah that's true I'm going to fuck a
[00:50:13] billion I'm like a hundred guys as soon as I break up with some awesome guy who
[00:50:19] I don't care I don't know some guy what chick you talking about dude I'm just
[00:50:25] doing a general big I'm talking about somebody in particular he was thinking
[00:50:29] of the meeting sounds like someone particular I'm literally not he was
[00:50:33] dude he totally was who we were thinking about no just say her name some woman
[00:50:38] materialized say our diet somebody that hurt him
[00:50:44] Matilda Mullen it's my daughter I would love to be his dad Matilda there's a
[00:50:50] dad and doing fucking radio Vito man the fuck I thought she's an orphan damn I'm
[00:50:56] gonna get married to your daughters you're so fucking mad would you so fucking
[00:51:01] stupid I'm kidding man just chill out we're joking God damn it dude you're
[00:51:06] honestly making kind of weird maybe you should take a chill pill or blue
[00:51:10] shoe chill that's like all the Netflix and chill pill mmm-hmm oh yeah that's
[00:51:15] pretty clever maybe you should put that on the website you fucking assholes oh I
[00:51:19] think I'm about that on blue shoe calm Netflix and chill pill and then you
[00:51:24] fucking pay me money even though you already give me dick pills for free I
[00:51:27] think I'm about to get your birthday present Nick you got me birthday present
[00:51:31] well I haven't gotten it yet but I just think I just got an email about to get it
[00:51:35] you're a sweetheart nice it's from Savannah oh yeah you'll you'll see it
[00:51:44] when you like it you like if certificate to Barnes and Noble yes it is I knew
[00:51:48] to borders to borders books and music hmm anyway I guess we're done right
[00:51:54] with the come oh yeah the episode blue shoe calm and use get your first
[00:51:59] sort of free when you use promo code comtown just pay five dollars shipping
[00:52:03] again that's BL EU CHEW calm that's probably important to say that's not
[00:52:09] that's not true no it's BLUE yeah CHEW said EU oh yeah sorry folks I have
[00:52:18] trouble reading and remembering Nick on the way over here claimed he didn't
[00:52:22] know that there's between left and right I literally don't neither literally nor
[00:52:27] politically there's literally the horseshoe theory mmm and you know what
[00:52:33] that you know that theory is that if you want to get lucky yeah sometimes you
[00:52:38] got a rape I don't think that's the horseshoe theory I think it's something
[00:52:43] about same extremes ending up being the same or something like that mm-hmm so you
[00:52:49] mean you throw a horseshoe at a woman's head and have sex with them is that the
[00:52:52] theory you're talking about when I was when I was a kid there was a retarded
[00:52:57] kid that had a hammer he was about to come down on my head with it real
[00:53:01] hard but a teacher stopped him at the last second and I always think that like he
[00:53:05] could have made me like him he's like a vampire yeah it's essentially a
[00:53:17] vampire yeah werewolf I just I always think about that it's like what if that
[00:53:21] retarded kid used his power to make me also you know man you know the
[00:53:27] him I know you have to leave the room every five minutes yeah you've been going a
[00:53:31] long way a lot man I'm sorry yes no you aren't dude you're never sorry you
[00:53:36] don't know I'm having a rough day you know what's wrong what's wrong big guy
[00:53:40] just having a rough day you know tomorrow's another day how was your
[00:53:43] pokeball it's in the fridge good I'm glad to hear that what do you mean I'm
[00:53:49] worried about you getting fucking bacteria I do leave raw fish out of the
[00:53:53] poke you go I'm serious about that see should you talking about dude we a
[00:53:58] raw fish all the time in Japan yeah but that's a good shit that's the
[00:54:01] radioactive shit it killed all the bacteria all the food could she my God
[00:54:05] the fucking bacteria dead the food could she my and if you put it up radio active
[00:54:10] fish around your cock it'll grow and start glowing
[00:54:15] what a gay song radio active this Mario Party song so much cooler than this
[00:54:23] game dude that's why I like playing it to prove how much cooler I have in the
[00:54:27] game for babies you got so mad when someone stole your ally dude I did so
[00:54:35] what are your Christmas resolutions guys or New Year's girl my cock a couple
[00:54:40] inches somehow to grow your cock yeah joke joke joking I think maybe a
[00:54:49] pescatarian now fuck that why not I don't know man you should do it stop why
[00:54:56] don't you just be vegan I tried I eat too many potato chips and potatoes did
[00:55:00] you general yeah how long do you try to be vegan for like two and a half weeks
[00:55:05] really this year yeah much no stop a vegan brownie earlier it was good Nick
[00:55:14] thinks a vegan brownie is just a shit yeah I ate a shit out of his ass you're
[00:55:18] vegan the only kind of no I do you so can you shit no I wake up in the middle
[00:55:28] of night I'm like oh my turds you win goes open I'm Bob and gay guys are gonna
[00:55:36] reach into your ass and steal your turds dude I don't know I I'm willing to
[00:55:42] admit that maybe I might be inching towards leaving the category of regular
[00:55:47] obese and getting dangerously close to actually being morbidly obese I have
[00:55:54] gotten much you ready morbidly obese no I'm at the edge of regular obese and
[00:55:59] flirting with morbidly obese you way more than LeBron yes but I'm also more
[00:56:08] LeBron six I'm more dense than him yeah he's he's his way to spread out over
[00:56:15] six yeah it's like Wario vs. Waluigi who's more powerful definitely Wario Wario
[00:56:20] because he's squatter he squat he's squat stops got a lower center of
[00:56:24] gravity exactly you think Lebron could be in a fat LeBron stops stops built like
[00:56:29] a manhole thank you Nick uh-huh you know hard those are the fucking yeah you can't
[00:56:34] tackle one they're already on the ground exactly you want to see me on all
[00:56:39] fours just coming at you like I'm running to the stage to collect a
[00:56:45] metal and you do you can't go up the stairs destroy your street like a
[00:56:52] street shark what was the context of that I remember man dude I was laughing so
[00:56:59] hard remember that ramen restaurant oh yeah and hitting on that girl oh yeah
[00:57:04] damn you got the iPhone 2 that's crazy that's uh yeah no I love just fucking
[00:57:09] down I'm like always download naps I'm on my phone dude constant always I'm a
[00:57:13] tech kid I can't get no do you have a foot you have a phone oh yeah you do I
[00:57:17] that's how we started damn maybe I should maybe she'd like use our phones
[00:57:20] together sometimes I'm just kidding but what's your number though oh no I'm
[00:57:29] cool I'm alright sometimes I just I start crying I'm good I'm good I'm good I'm
[00:57:35] fucking good bitch I said I'm good now do you want to get out of here or what do
[00:57:39] you want to fuck you stop talking to this fucking asshole this guy pay
[00:57:47] attention to me yeah he's my brother I should fuck him too
[00:57:54] he's cute though he's cute he's cute he's cute I'll fuck him if it makes you think I'm cool
[00:58:12] girl please that's it'll prove I'm just I'm just he's happening I'm just out here tonight trying to prove I'm not trying to fuck girls and I end up
[00:58:25] fucking that you're gonna fuck your brothers girls just like oh of course just dumb
[00:58:32] what do you think that guys ever cried his way into pussy you have done it you
[00:58:38] literally fuck that mega bus yeah you fucking liar oh yeah you really have
[00:58:43] cried my way into pussy I deserved it I really deserved it that I really did
[00:58:50] just that time though no and then you fuck some crazy bitch that was walking her
[00:58:55] dog or something no no no this was like a shelter yeah you manage it girls like
[00:59:01] I'm living outside right now he literally brought a homeless man brought with nowhere to go
[00:59:09] and limited options to his place no no I to I she had a home that's what they
[00:59:15] call a smooth criminal but I'm only one another a joke and I did a little rape
[00:59:23] joke into a pussy when I was fucking I was doing it it's so I I
[00:59:30] fucking I love that Louis C K is trying to have a comeback every like two and a
[00:59:35] half weeks and it fails and it doesn't every time it doesn't work what do you
[00:59:38] recently I miss like God I don't know what I got just that girl yelled at him at
[00:59:43] the seller oh yeah and then there was like nine outlets who were like she's a
[00:59:47] badass badass she's our girl boss bad ass we'll be fucking lover she's our
[00:59:54] fucking hero it's also smart they're like where did you get her tab covered at
[00:59:58] the seller oh yeah but it doesn't even need to be Louis C K you can go there and
[01:00:03] object to Ian finance which you should you live in New York literally you
[01:00:07] live in New York to find out what night Ian is at the comedy seller go there
[01:00:10] free night and fucking complain when he just talks about having sex with
[01:00:14] trans people and you could just eat for free the comedy seller whenever the
[01:00:17] fuck yeah they cover your tab if they cover your tab for me go to the comedy
[01:00:21] seller get the wings complain about Ian have a nice night out yeah a couple
[01:00:27] pictures of brew just the show starting it's all bunch of families from his
[01:00:31] constant it's like everybody just let a trans person fuck you in the air
[01:00:35] boom shock walker what are you guys doing just kidding how you guys doing
[01:00:42] please I bet you in his literally tried to fuck a woman and ended up fucking at
[01:01:00] what's gonna do it fellas that's the show remember go to patreon.com slash
[01:01:06] comtown click report don't do that subscribe if Sargon of Akkad isn't
[01:01:13] allowed to keep his magic tricks for racist
[01:01:16] things whatever he does was this your card yeah and it's just a game that says
[01:01:26] the n word on it this is not hubris I'm being 100% accurate we are the modern
[01:01:32] day mark 20 yeah the show is marked sat high a
[01:01:36] cockmill in so if you want to yeah claim it if you want to cancel
[01:01:41] come down you better be ready to cancel mark 20 yeah author of the same
[01:01:46] hot how to lose a round days yep 10 things I hate about a secret the game
[01:01:54] oh yeah he did write the game he was getting pussy on Louisiana steamboats
[01:01:59] by calling bitches a dukes of hazard he was to do that yeah we're a lot like
[01:02:06] you know how Mel Brooks dressed up like Nazis right it's a piece of it and he's
[01:02:12] black knight was written by Mark Twain a dark night originally black night with
[01:02:16] white knight I mean he get that yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah it had a real
[01:02:30] thank you to everyone who came out to see me in Ohio this past weekend I'm
[01:02:34] coming to Pittsburgh on the 11th who buffalo January 12th the next night and
[01:02:40] then I'm in Phoenix on January 19th and LA all the second oh and I asked
[01:02:47] hey I fail Nick's phone phone so in next so please buy tickets on to go to
[01:02:51] stavi dot biz Pittsburgh Buffalo Phoenix LA I'm also going to Harrisburg
[01:02:56] before Buffalo Schenectady after Buffalo all that shit there's other
[01:03:00] days from typing Phoenix into the computer like nine times PhD oh and I
[01:03:05] asked and kept telling me was wrong and I was like no bitch screaming like
[01:03:10] computer like that doesn't make any sense fo e-necks you dumb bitch now I'm
[01:03:18] smart yeah you are dude I know that about you dude ever see that movie the
[01:03:23] computer that wore ten issues no no it's uh you get pussy from the current
[01:03:28] Russell and he gets struck by lightning in the computer room at his college and
[01:03:32] he he's smart like the computer oh nice cool yeah that sounds like a worst
[01:03:36] version of how high about smoking their computer and the computer that wore
[01:03:40] alligator shoes that's you know a pimp and middle-aged yeah like yeah a
[01:03:46] bishop magic tunnel and he's like bitch bring that pussy over here let me do
[01:03:49] some math why don't you let me crush some numbers that's why I call when you
[01:03:55] slide this in there crush some numbers up here well that's what that guy John
[01:03:58] Nash did he did math on pussy yeah John Smash John a beautiful mind he
[01:04:04] fucked a beautiful behind not really he was gay he was he fucked in bathroom
[01:04:09] crazy yet schizophrenia so you would have this gets a Friday episode and then
[01:04:13] have sex with man yeah that's what a fine a real fine-ass situation that's a
[01:04:17] good you know it's a fine-dance and some bathrooms
[01:04:21] dirty-fi dancing is just having unprotected gay sex with a man as diarrhea
[01:04:28] maybe anyway I'll workshop that one well Ian took some huge L on Twitter a
[01:04:34] couple weeks ago yeah that girl yeah that girl's Dasha's friend that's so it
[01:04:39] was so she dragged it could be dragged every I mean every tweet is just he has
[01:04:44] asked the worst yeah the worst about Twitter by far I want it real quick he
[01:04:49] takes everyone to the last takes every position yeah yeah right he like he's
[01:04:54] like it's the liberals and the conservatives man let's just we're all
[01:04:58] losing our minds over here rather this thing is like he's like the classic
[01:05:02] shitty comedian like Lewis Black yeah like have you ever considered that
[01:05:09] everybody's wrong except me of course yeah yeah beyond this discussion that I
[01:05:15] have not thought about or it haven't yet for a second to yeah beyond like I'm
[01:05:20] gonna try and write a joke I can't well I guess I'll just be better than it well
[01:05:25] he hasn't tweeted anything he's just been retweeting yeah cuz he got he got
[01:05:28] owned yeah so I grow Kristen let's see what the last thing he tweeted was hey
[01:05:36] gang listen we're all racial the human racial oh my god oh my fuck that's just
[01:05:41] the last thing he tweeted I wasn't even looking for a bad one I said that's a
[01:05:45] real that's a really black and white headshot of an old like white guy with
[01:05:48] like a white beard uh-huh it says friend there's only one gender the human
[01:05:53] gender oh here we go here we go what is the last this is the next one again I'm
[01:06:02] not even trying to pick bad ones Hannah Gadsby made a speech about good men
[01:06:06] calling out bad men but they themselves not being good already beautiful for
[01:06:11] start it's time to be honest I shit with door open sometimes I steal flowers
[01:06:16] from the cemetery I hit other people's kids on subway but I do not cat call so
[01:06:22] deep down I good man Hannah what he doesn't do any of that's not a point and
[01:06:28] he doesn't do those things you flowers from the center to what goes to his
[01:06:34] emo fucking stupid man that's him this is the idea of like bad things every
[01:06:40] every tweet every time he tweets he thinks he's but cows he's awesome like he
[01:06:45] thinks he's like a subversive artist he's so good yeah like a drug guy the pen
[01:06:50] one is the best that one like Republican's are only supposed to attack
[01:06:55] women with pain and legislation legislation that is legislation
[01:07:00] disaster that's so classic dumb mother trying to sound smart our fans are gonna
[01:07:06] know they're not yeah this is the whole thing that's like I guess I guess the
[01:07:11] king of taking else dude yeah he's the best that he's the best he's successful
[01:07:16] by losing right he's like an absolute fucking tragedy everything about that
[01:07:21] guy's a fucking disaster and it was set in motion 25 years ago it's not his
[01:07:25] certain train yard where I'm not gonna say what happened but yeah that's just
[01:07:33] like that's Ian's thing and that's great I love him well I love him too he's
[01:07:37] hilarious to as a hang he's the best so that's our show everyone right we'll