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Ep. 137 - Dexters Gender Labratory

Cum Town | Regular | 01/10/2019

[00:00:00] And we're all
[00:00:02] Suck, suck, suck, suck, suck
[00:00:04] Suck a dick. Wanna fuck him, wanna suck him. I'll be forever gay. I'm gay actor Chris Cooper
[00:00:11] I'm never gonna be a hooray. Oh
[00:00:14] Hello everyone
[00:00:16] Welcome to come town
[00:00:18] The biggest dickest show of all time. God bless the pussy. God bless the pussy. You heard it here first folks
[00:00:24] That's right
[00:00:26] God bless it
[00:00:27] That's right, and I said unto him. Let me get the some pussy lord
[00:00:32] That's what that's this is now a Bible study
[00:00:37] Hell yeah, what's that one something about the omissions of donkeys or whatever the fuck you guys have seen that there's like a there's like a Bible verse
[00:00:45] about
[00:00:46] like
[00:00:48] about like donkey dicks and like some woman getting facials from donkeys and shit
[00:01:00] Yeah, but I got that neither dying and the vine good to buy
[00:01:11] Well, yeah, oh what
[00:01:14] Wait that has to be explicitly said would you suck each other's brothers?
[00:01:20] Oh, yeah, well Adams like well, can we suck our brothers dicks?
[00:01:26] Okay, when did you start like literally they were cavemen, right? No
[00:01:31] Basically I
[00:01:35] Mean how long ago was that so long ago, right?
[00:01:38] Yeah, it was like six six six thousand years ago
[00:01:44] That's a long-ass time
[00:01:48] They were probably so short right probably three feet tall no the average height until like 1970 was probably like five nine
[00:01:56] No, it was not it went up to five ten and a half. What are you talking about? That's crazy
[00:02:00] I mean, it's true. Like there's all this bullshit about people like, you know people only used to live till 12 and it's like no
[00:02:07] they lived
[00:02:09] People like I mean like life expectancy was shorter if you factor in like childhood mortality and stuff
[00:02:14] I'm probably getting murdered and shit in like
[00:02:17] 1870 if you made it past your fucking 15th birthday, you could live to like 73
[00:02:24] Okay, yeah back in like the fucking you look bad. Yeah, no you probably got a good section died 13 hunt
[00:02:30] Yeah, I mean barring some shit like that. Yeah, but I mean, you know, you just live in your life
[00:02:34] I bet you they were short and dying fast
[00:02:37] They were definitely you're gonna die fast. You're gonna die faster than your middle-aged counterpart your middle-aged your medieval
[00:02:44] No chance bitch. I'm out living all of them first of all your boy got insurance
[00:02:49] I've been going to doctors non-stop
[00:02:51] I've been going to doctors like a motherfucker. I'm going to a fucking I'm gonna get I'm gonna get a dermatol
[00:02:56] I'm gonna go to a fucking phlebotomist. Okay, it's a blood doctor for my ass
[00:03:03] Fat I'm going to dr. Obama's this one can't get the ass shots
[00:03:09] That's what a phlebotomist is no
[00:03:11] Do the veins no that's no you're wrong this fuck you were as wrong about that as you are how short people were
[00:03:19] Yeah, he's gone. No, it's no phlebot a phlebotomist is somebody that inserts a needle into your vein
[00:03:24] It's like no it's like saying I'm gonna see an anesthesiolis. No, it's not bro
[00:03:28] It's literate look phlebotomy is the process of making an incision in a vein with a needle search what phlebotomist is though
[00:03:35] Maybe maybe I'm not maybe it's not phlebotomist. No a person who performs phlebotomy is called the phlebotomist
[00:03:42] You're talking about a proctologist. No, I'm not talking. I proctologist and ash cheeks doctor
[00:03:48] I don't think so I've actually thought hold on hold on. I'll tell you right phlebotomist is just the person that inserts a needle in
[00:04:03] Paul pulmonologist I meant pulmonologist
[00:04:08] That's it's it's just a sleep dog. I don't know this mother look I think I sleep apnea
[00:04:13] Okay, I said phlebotom that was wrong. You were right about that
[00:04:18] You were not right about how tall people were though or how long they live
[00:04:23] Yeah, yes
[00:04:26] Yeah, so I'm about to get I'm about to get dermatol. I'm gonna dermatologist get some moles checked out
[00:04:34] Five five six was the average height in 13. Oh, you're right. That is a very tall guy. Never mind
[00:04:39] That's a tall guy as far as I'm concerned. Yeah
[00:04:44] Yeah, I you know what you're right, Nick those guys were tall as shit back there
[00:04:49] No, how about this actually look using skeleton evidence from Europe the team found that average height decreased from 68.27 inches in the middle ages
[00:04:57] Which is five eight and a half to a low of
[00:05:01] 65.75 inches in the 1600 and 1700 so people got shorter from the middle-aided. Yeah
[00:05:06] Mmm because like there was other things to flock other than like, you know, I mean like oh this guy invented glasses
[00:05:13] He may be five three, but he invented the oh
[00:05:17] pipe
[00:05:19] Well, here's oh here's another thing though
[00:05:22] here's nothing
[00:05:25] Evolutionarily busting quick is an advantage
[00:05:28] Was it yeah, cuz your cum is in a pussy quick
[00:05:33] Exactly
[00:05:35] So a small dig the bus fast. That's the apex predator actually
[00:05:40] Because it's in it's in every pussy quick
[00:05:44] No, they don't even know you're fucking them no small is good you sneak into the pussy cuz you
[00:05:51] You don't want to make a big deal out of it. You want to hurt people in and out Bing Bang Bang
[00:05:58] Interesting you need a long you just need a skinny long cock
[00:06:05] You don't even hit the back you get as long right before hitting the back walls. That's optimum cock length
[00:06:10] Yeah, I think a woman like it women like it women like it's having a gun shoved in their fucking notes
[00:06:28] It's like quit fucking speaking Spanish bitch
[00:06:32] You decided to come into this country
[00:06:34] You see what you decided to fucking then come clean my house after I call you're tracking me out of the health class and that's sex
[00:06:42] That's sex
[00:06:44] Like that's not sex children. Yes, it is
[00:06:54] You that type of sex that teacher is everyone love
[00:06:59] Go captain
[00:07:01] a hauling me off the UNESCO
[00:07:12] See the day
[00:07:17] You know there's my dead bow in society man that lies his way in thelb'ee sees the pussy lads
[00:07:23] the teaching taking the Hebslot he can sext the best
[00:07:25] teaching sex and in high school and telling them all the rape sex.
[00:07:30] Well that actually does check that actually that that tracks you in when
[00:07:34] boarding schools they probably did have rape class. Well they all rate they got
[00:07:39] raped by the headmaster. How do you think he got that name?
[00:07:44] Yeah.
[00:07:48] Yeah. Oh yeah they got buggered. Yeah.
[00:07:55] And now they're all they're all tories and they're hip-a-fizz.
[00:07:58] Wow interesting.
[00:08:00] They've turned their backs on all the gay sex.
[00:08:02] Oh he used to have gay sex as a child?
[00:08:04] Yeah dude. Well they were getting molested.
[00:08:06] He loved having gay sex.
[00:08:08] Yeah.
[00:08:10] My brother Marcus from Bistroop, he's one of the ones jail for having gay sex.
[00:08:14] He's telling me that in prison I don't have a gay sex now too.
[00:08:19] I said what in the Lord's name is going on these days.
[00:08:25] How do you go visit the thing?
[00:08:28] Do they actually do that or is that like a verb or something?
[00:08:32] I don't know.
[00:08:33] Why are they called that conjugal?
[00:08:35] That's the only time I hear that word.
[00:08:37] That's true.
[00:08:38] You hear conjugate a verb but then conjugal visit.
[00:08:43] It's only in the context of like yeah you get to.
[00:08:46] Yeah what does conjugal mean?
[00:08:48] I mean you get to touch the pussy.
[00:08:51] Interesting.
[00:08:52] In conjugal like gay visit?
[00:08:55] Like no this gay is like a state.
[00:08:57] I guess it depends by the state.
[00:08:58] If you can't and that's not a thing that people are like it would be amazing if that's like not a social justice thing that's already an issue is making sure that gay prisoners are able to have gay sex.
[00:09:10] Yeah they're like one or one death row.
[00:09:12] After murdering a family of four.
[00:09:16] So we got to make sure these these men can have gay sex.
[00:09:20] Men's mentally ill husband that he that he fucking met over the mail needs to be allowed who got molested by a man that looks exactly like him should be allowed to come and get fucked in this supply clock.
[00:09:32] When gawk or like it's like look death penalty is wrong whatever yeah don't don't have death penalty it's fucking barbaric but like for the most part everyone on death row deserves to be a death row for sure.
[00:09:44] What do you mean?
[00:09:46] They deserve to die but I mean what you should have the death penalty but I don't have any sympathy for those people.
[00:09:51] Right.
[00:09:52] Except the retarder ones in Texas.
[00:09:54] But the retarder ones.
[00:09:55] The retarder ones still murdered people.
[00:09:57] Yeah but they're retarded.
[00:09:59] That's how they got caught.
[00:10:02] The non retarded murderers don't get caught.
[00:10:07] If you fucking terror woman's eyeballs out and then fuck her skull and then sit there eating ice cream yeah they're going to be able to solve it.
[00:10:20] This is a trail of gobstoppers leading to his parents garage where he lives.
[00:10:31] Well boys case closed.
[00:10:34] Another retard job.
[00:10:37] Oh shit.
[00:10:38] Anyways I get a couple years ago gawk or like they took a letter from a letter from some death row guy and all the fucking kenja readers or whatever leaving all these comments like what it what it is.
[00:10:49] What an innocent soul.
[00:10:51] Can we get a lawyer to help this man or whatever and then finally hear from like the guy whose brother was like brutally murdered by this dude for like a speaker.
[00:11:03] The gorgers like oh we're sorry they'd like apologize.
[00:11:06] What was the letter about?
[00:11:08] I would say took I mean like you don't use people on death row to make an argument.
[00:11:13] Right.
[00:11:14] You make an argument that like that you got arrested for selling weed.
[00:11:18] You got 30 years.
[00:11:19] Sure yeah for prison reform.
[00:11:21] But as far as like abolishing the death penalty don't talk to people that like fuck the four year old to death.
[00:11:27] Right.
[00:11:28] And be like this man deserves a second chance.
[00:11:30] Right.
[00:11:31] Right.
[00:11:32] Because it's like he probably doesn't.
[00:11:33] What he deserves is just fucking die in jail.
[00:11:36] I mean fuck deserve I don't care about deserve it's like don't murder people.
[00:11:40] Yeah.
[00:11:41] That's just just don't do it.
[00:11:42] Yeah.
[00:11:43] I thought I was when I was back home I was on the front page.
[00:11:45] I think you should.
[00:11:46] Hot take.
[00:11:48] I think you should murder.
[00:11:50] She's like she's pretty hot.
[00:11:53] I fucked her.
[00:11:54] She's on trial for murder.
[00:11:56] Nice.
[00:11:57] And then I turned to a page where they described what the crime was.
[00:12:00] She ran out on getting a manicure which would have been $35.
[00:12:05] Oh my god.
[00:12:07] The woman ran after her manicure is ran out.
[00:12:09] Got caught I guess in the door or something and was dragged for like 10 blocks to death.
[00:12:15] What?
[00:12:16] Jesus Christ.
[00:12:17] Holy shit.
[00:12:18] Drag her for like 10 blocks.
[00:12:21] What?
[00:12:22] That's crazy.
[00:12:23] Damn this bitch is hot.
[00:12:24] She's probably innocent.
[00:12:25] What?
[00:12:26] Lace.
[00:12:27] You know that crime got caught.
[00:12:29] The call Cassidy.
[00:12:31] We should we should.
[00:12:32] You know that mayo face.
[00:12:34] The call Cassidy.
[00:12:35] Well I assumed it was white because you said she was hot.
[00:12:38] You know find other races attractive.
[00:12:46] That's not true at all.
[00:12:48] That's not true.
[00:12:49] He's paid for sex with lots of different races.
[00:12:52] Yeah that's true.
[00:12:55] Yo speaking of people that got off for should have been in prison.
[00:12:59] Shouts out to that girl.
[00:13:00] That girl sent Toya.
[00:13:01] It's not hot at all dude.
[00:13:02] She looks like a fucking dog.
[00:13:05] Oh yeah she looks good.
[00:13:09] Crystal Whipple.
[00:13:14] Crystal Whipple.
[00:13:15] Let me suck those dirty nipples Crystal Whipple.
[00:13:18] Yeah.
[00:13:19] You imagine dragging someone to death?
[00:13:23] No.
[00:13:24] That sounds horrible actually.
[00:13:26] I remember reading a story about a guy.
[00:13:28] Some like contractor or whatever.
[00:13:30] He dragged somebody for like five blocks in his pickup.
[00:13:33] And then they stopped him and he was like what?
[00:13:35] What the fuck?
[00:13:36] You know like people had pulled him over.
[00:13:37] He had no idea he had seen somebody.
[00:13:39] And you know no he didn't.
[00:13:41] He just like fucking.
[00:13:43] Yeah he's driving a big truck.
[00:13:44] And then I think he's like yeah he got.
[00:13:46] I remember like him facing charges and it's just like terrified me.
[00:13:50] So some asshole crosses the road.
[00:13:53] And I'm playing I'm Blas.
[00:13:55] I'm like Game Boy Advance over the season.
[00:13:59] I'm listening to Howard.
[00:14:00] I'm listening to Howard on blast.
[00:14:02] Yeah.
[00:14:03] I'm playing Game Boy Advance.
[00:14:04] Yeah.
[00:14:05] Yeah.
[00:14:06] I'm blasting Howard.
[00:14:08] I've got Game Boy Advance in front of me.
[00:14:15] I can go down like that.
[00:14:17] Yeah.
[00:14:18] That's fucking bullshit.
[00:14:19] Bullshit dude.
[00:14:20] When we were in kids there was like.
[00:14:21] Oh I like to say I better be able to bring my fucking GBA to prison.
[00:14:25] It's going to be a new Pokemon Silver.
[00:14:30] And fucking Warden keeps taking my Game Boy Advance away from me.
[00:14:33] Yeah you keep getting into jail for murdering people for taking your Game Boy Advance.
[00:14:38] Oh fuck.
[00:14:41] But yeah shout out to that girl who murdered the guy.
[00:14:46] No no no.
[00:14:47] This girl's in Toy Brown.
[00:14:49] She got clemency.
[00:14:50] She was like sent to 40 years in jail because she killed a guy who made her a sex slave.
[00:14:55] That you deserve a fucking.
[00:14:57] She got she went to jail like 40 years.
[00:14:59] She was a kid yeah.
[00:15:03] So salute to her getting out of jail.
[00:15:07] And fuck the government man.
[00:15:09] Fuck that shit.
[00:15:10] Oh they didn't catch this bitch.
[00:15:15] She's wanted by police after running over and killing the owner of a nail.
[00:15:21] Dirty nipples is?
[00:15:23] Dirty nipples.
[00:15:24] Damn let's find her.
[00:15:25] Crystal Whipple.
[00:15:26] Oh she's from Vegas.
[00:15:28] Look Crystal if you're listening.
[00:15:30] Crystal if you're out there.
[00:15:32] Crystal if you're out there.
[00:15:33] Just sex your way out of this crime.
[00:15:34] Yeah we know the DA.
[00:15:35] We know the DA.
[00:15:36] It's a fan of it.
[00:15:38] So yeah you got to do a couple of things for us.
[00:15:42] Let's just say we're going to treat your pussy the way you treated that Korean woman.
[00:15:45] You know who was a family friend was the judge?
[00:15:48] A friend of my mom was the judge in the PoJ trial for when he stole his shit back.
[00:15:53] Oh really?
[00:15:54] The book got down.
[00:15:55] Interesting.
[00:15:56] Yep Whipple was attempting to flee with that.
[00:15:59] Take 50 year old walk you win.
[00:16:03] Who would have guessed?
[00:16:05] Walk you win.
[00:16:07] Jumped in front of the vehicle.
[00:16:09] Damn.
[00:16:10] Also if you're that person let the 35 go.
[00:16:15] Do you know about manicures?
[00:16:17] Like it's like it's like they make like $2 an hour and they work for it.
[00:16:22] It's like it's a terrible.
[00:16:24] Right right right.
[00:16:25] I'm probably headed up to there.
[00:16:26] She's like no I'm not getting got again.
[00:16:28] Oh wait hold on.
[00:16:30] The car was also stolen.
[00:16:32] This is like a bad bitch.
[00:16:33] Yeah the car was stolen.
[00:16:35] At least at the vehicle the black convertible sedan was reportedly stolen from an auto rental
[00:16:39] agency last month.
[00:16:41] Nice.
[00:16:42] She abandoned it.
[00:16:43] What else?
[00:16:44] What else?
[00:16:45] What else should you do?
[00:16:46] Anyone with information about Whipple contact the authorities at 702-8283521.
[00:16:52] Just call in now and give the police fake information because of radio show prank.
[00:17:00] Yeah.
[00:17:01] My name is Jonathan Starlater.
[00:17:03] I'm four years old and I just I fucked that bitch.
[00:17:08] Okay you said your name was Jonathan.
[00:17:12] Bubbly bubbly bubbly.
[00:17:13] Nick's moment.
[00:17:14] Yeah.
[00:17:15] Starlater.
[00:17:16] Let me get this down.
[00:17:19] Oh I'm calling about the dirty nipples bitch.
[00:17:24] Do you do you do you like to taste Howard Cernes penis?
[00:17:28] Okay you know we can trace these calls.
[00:17:32] I have back traced it.
[00:17:36] You're done goofed.
[00:17:37] Yeah.
[00:17:38] That's it.
[00:17:39] No I think it's cool.
[00:17:42] I think it's cool.
[00:17:43] No we both think it's cool actually.
[00:17:45] Yeah we've decided it's cool.
[00:17:46] Crystal Whipple's cool.
[00:17:50] Man I made pretty good breakfast for myself.
[00:17:52] You did.
[00:17:53] Thanks guys.
[00:17:54] Looked good man.
[00:17:55] Thanks man.
[00:17:56] Little Japanese but I got you.
[00:17:57] Yep.
[00:17:58] Which is also a good band.
[00:18:00] Japanese breakfast that's right.
[00:18:03] Brooklyn New York no tickets in three years do this on Monday.
[00:18:06] Are you reading out brain?
[00:18:08] You just reading spam links.
[00:18:12] Wow this is okay.
[00:18:14] You were as gas digital top headlines for today.
[00:18:18] New York launches chargeless solar program in Brooklyn.
[00:18:22] And that's definitely New York.
[00:18:25] That picture of Mars.
[00:18:26] That's really good.
[00:18:27] Here we go.
[00:18:28] You as cardiologist it's like a pressure wash for your insides.
[00:18:32] What is?
[00:18:33] I don't know.
[00:18:34] I don't tell you unless you click.
[00:18:35] Me blasting a hot load.
[00:18:36] Probably cool.
[00:18:37] CEO's prediction will blow your mind.
[00:18:40] That's cool.
[00:18:41] What is it click?
[00:18:42] No I don't want to.
[00:18:44] What the fuck dude.
[00:18:46] He can't change his daughter responds after Christian bail compared her father to Satan.
[00:18:51] So I go fat dick.
[00:18:54] Is there name for China?
[00:18:55] I thought there was only one.
[00:18:57] Is there name vagina?
[00:18:58] Cheney.
[00:18:59] They go into it.
[00:19:00] But like the other daughter.
[00:19:01] Yeah Dick Cheney's daughter.
[00:19:03] What's her name vagina?
[00:19:04] Chain.
[00:19:05] Oh that's good.
[00:19:06] Pussy Cheney.
[00:19:07] Hey cunt Cheney.
[00:19:09] Yeah.
[00:19:10] What's her name?
[00:19:11] Pussy Cheney.
[00:19:12] Yeah.
[00:19:13] What the fuck is her name?
[00:19:16] Gas.
[00:19:17] Cheney.
[00:19:18] Wow Dick Cheney's got a daughter.
[00:19:19] I wonder where her name is.
[00:19:21] Whole chain.
[00:19:22] Yeah.
[00:19:23] Fucking slut.
[00:19:25] Yeah she's a fucking whore.
[00:19:27] Yeah I bet you know her dad's real asshole.
[00:19:29] I bet she's real slut.
[00:19:32] Oh yeah.
[00:19:34] Yeah.
[00:19:35] Dick Cheney.
[00:19:36] Yeah.
[00:19:37] Her dad's Dick Cheney.
[00:19:38] Is her name twat Cheney.
[00:19:40] There used to be a guy in Congress named Dick Horne.
[00:19:43] Shut no.
[00:19:45] Yeah what's his daughter's name?
[00:19:46] Pussy Army.
[00:19:47] Yeah I bet it is dude.
[00:19:48] It's either that or whole army.
[00:19:57] This is crazy.
[00:19:58] Bail apparently played a guy named Dick Cheney.
[00:20:00] What's his name?
[00:20:01] Christian Dick.
[00:20:02] I bet a Christian.
[00:20:03] I bet a Christian Bail had a daughter who her name would be Pussy Bail.
[00:20:09] It's Christian Bail's daughter play a movie's name.
[00:20:12] Let's see Cheney.
[00:20:14] I bet dude.
[00:20:16] I bet that is what his daughter plays a movie of.
[00:20:21] I bet dude.
[00:20:23] I bet that is what that fucking whore does dude.
[00:20:28] Christian Bail's daughter that fucking slut.
[00:20:31] What?
[00:20:32] Fucking plays that plays that character.
[00:20:35] That's the character.
[00:20:36] You're a bad that shit.
[00:20:38] That's where I bet that shit.
[00:20:40] That's right motherfuckers.
[00:20:43] That's right motherfuckers.
[00:20:48] Alex Trebek here.
[00:20:50] I bet dsi.com.
[00:20:55] When I want to bet about whether I'm gay or not.
[00:20:57] This juicy piece of meat is entering my wife's pussy later tonight.
[00:21:02] Did you guess what is my cock?
[00:21:05] Remember to tip your cab driver.
[00:21:11] That's cab jeopardy.
[00:21:13] Cab jeopardy.
[00:21:14] You know what you can bet on betdsi.com is cab jeopardy.
[00:21:18] Yes you can.
[00:21:19] You sit there in the cab instead of answering on the computer and the cab computer like
[00:21:24] a little fucking bitch.
[00:21:25] Like a fucking slut.
[00:21:27] Why don't you pull up your mobile internet device, your phone, laptop, tablet, PC.
[00:21:35] Bring your desktop computer into the cab.
[00:21:39] And you want to pull out a small personal generator.
[00:21:42] You plug this in and you fish all the wires.
[00:21:46] You're doing a 17 minute ride.
[00:21:49] You shove all the wires.
[00:21:51] So plug this in for me.
[00:21:54] The cab slows down.
[00:21:55] The two.
[00:21:56] Why don't you go ahead and plug this in for me.
[00:21:57] So that's two miles per hour.
[00:21:59] To power your 1993 Windows 3.
[00:22:01] You have to bring extra gasoline.
[00:22:03] You will run out halfway into the ride.
[00:22:05] Right.
[00:22:06] You got to betdsi.com and you place your bets on name this hog is Alotra Bex personal.
[00:22:13] Different pictures of Cox that Alotra Bex wife has fucked.
[00:22:16] Yeah.
[00:22:17] You have to select which guy it is.
[00:22:20] Yeah.
[00:22:21] And then do that betdsi.com.
[00:22:24] They've been in business over 20 years.
[00:22:26] Oh my God.
[00:22:27] So long, R. Kelly wouldn't have sex with them.
[00:22:31] Oh shit.
[00:22:32] Lucky there's a.
[00:22:33] No way.
[00:22:34] Oh my God.
[00:22:37] That that that that that that that that the.
[00:22:40] Wall wash.
[00:22:41] Wall wash.
[00:22:42] Let me see your red pussy.
[00:22:43] Geez, what what's all this child pornography story was pussy Cheney in here.
[00:22:50] He did.
[00:22:52] Yes, I had sex with pussy Cheney.
[00:22:57] He's with.
[00:23:00] There you go.
[00:23:02] an R Kelly wouldn't fuck Meg. They all mock her for not getting raped by R Kelly. Damn,
[00:23:13] if you write for family guy, can we get that joke on the show? Yeah, get that joke on the
[00:23:18] show. Yeah. Anyway, they've been in business 20 years, 20 years, you got an award winning
[00:23:26] mobile app that just won the Golden Globe for best picture. It really did. Yeah. What else
[00:23:37] they got a mobile app. They got a mobile app. And you can play Bedwind on it anywhere you
[00:23:43] want. You dial up. Just the way in there. We will fucking wrestle you. Can you speak
[00:23:48] this? You turned the cab into your personal work powerhouse works. This is the only way
[00:23:55] it'll work. My friend, I have to pull off the cap to pray because my God, he does read
[00:24:01] the all we do is pray. You know, by the way, the only way it works is if you're doing it
[00:24:07] from a cab from a desktop computer. Yeah. But but they got a mobile app anywhere.
[00:24:13] Anywhere. Use that baby bitch anywhere you fuck anywhere your cock desires and call them
[00:24:20] a live in game wagering. You know, they also offer a Jive in game wagering. You know what
[00:24:27] you're saying? So like you're losing like, man, I don't even know about this, Jack.
[00:24:32] Yeah. Why don't you, why don't you let me slide in on a little renege? You know what
[00:24:36] I'm saying? That's right. And we I ain't even going to pay for the bet. Yep. And that's
[00:24:41] Jive. That's Jive in game betting. Yeah. They also have live in game wagering. Not really
[00:24:45] sure what that is. But if you gamble, I'm sure you figure it out. Yeah, you could change
[00:24:49] your bet. You can hedge in the second half. Yeah, you can wedge your bets too. That's
[00:24:53] where you shove them up your fucking ass. You take a bunch of Western fries, potato wedges,
[00:24:58] you shove those in your pussy and put them in your bitches pussy. That's why they offer
[00:25:03] way wedge in gate. Wait, what is it wedge in life in wife wedging?
[00:25:09] So you could do that also. Make a wife suck the manays off the French fries and that
[00:25:22] bitch better not take a bite out. No, absolutely. That's our luck. If you look, if you're like
[00:25:26] me, you love dipping your French fry wedges and some mayonnaise and making your bitch suck
[00:25:30] the man absolutely without biting a crumb of potato. If you bite so much as a morsel of
[00:25:36] potato slap, slap, slap, slap right in the middle of the Roy Rogers New Jersey turnpike.
[00:25:45] Well, she's on all four sucking mail off the fry. Yeah. And people are like, that guy must
[00:25:53] be play betting and winning or betting it's on our part. Like, is that, is that my old
[00:25:59] health teacher? That man taught me everything. That it's a flashback. So the movie starts.
[00:26:07] That's good. Slap, slap, slap. Anyways, anyway, yeah, live in game wagering. The business
[00:26:19] over a million years, something like that. The dinosaurs been on whether they could suck
[00:26:24] my dick one day out. Real dinosaurs. Remember that show? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That was
[00:26:30] it. Oh, yeah. Dinosaurs is the name of the show. And then I real monsters. I don't know
[00:26:35] why I thought out. Real dinosaurs is the name. Cause you're dick is small. No. Yeah. I just
[00:26:41] hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I'm calling my doctor. Yeah. Hello, doctor. Hold on. This is
[00:26:46] Cox. Oh, wait, this is more important. So, you know, the guy, the guy who holds the eyeballs,
[00:26:51] right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's holding his balls. Yeah. Come off the space. Yes. Yes.
[00:26:58] Yes. Yes. He's got a dick and he's holding his balls. That is correct. And we not get
[00:27:06] to that. I don't know. Was it one of them an umbrella too? I don't fucking know. But
[00:27:10] that's a really, listen, man. Honestly, Nick, you got to start drawing again just for that.
[00:27:16] I need a picture of that. No man. Finish the read. They got off the read to Google what
[00:27:23] that guy looks like. It would be awesome. I agree. Dude. Dick were the no sis. Yes. That
[00:27:31] would be incredible. And then he went the dick slipping around and he's sucking on it.
[00:27:36] Yes. Of course. Cause they're also gross. Yeah. So he's sucking the cock as well. Anyways,
[00:27:43] what were we talking about? The read. We were finishing the read. Oh yeah. I don't even
[00:27:49] care anymore. Come on, man. Not because I bet the SI.com and then imagine that guy with
[00:27:55] the balls and thing. Live in game. We're doing here's we're betting on this week. Take the
[00:27:59] Raven's no, the raven's lost. Take the Ravens over the raven's loss of the Chargers tape.
[00:28:05] I got a video chest tape that I've been made of the game. Although I think they covered.
[00:28:10] I don't remember. Honestly, call to action. So when you sign up, you want to make sure
[00:28:15] you use promo code come one 20. So they know we send you when you sign up, you've got some
[00:28:19] options. You can just play and cash out or you can take the bonus money, which is like
[00:28:22] getting a casino combo. Before you played at the tables casino, a rollover requirement,
[00:28:27] but it's free cash. So if you're going to be in the sports book, which is like the
[00:28:31] hammer, use promo code C you have one 20 up to a thousand dollars. They're going to give
[00:28:37] you 60% bonus cash. We turn a thousand dollars into six hundred hundred bitch. So once again,
[00:28:43] that's bet the aside.com come one 20. Let's start to show. Let's start the show, bitch.
[00:28:48] Oh, and by the way, here's listen, this isn't really plug time, but I got I need to sell
[00:28:52] some ticks. If you're in Harrisburg tomorrow, please buy fuck. I'm sorry, Lancaster PA.
[00:28:59] Come out Pittsburgh's about to sell out. Sorry guys. We haven't bought your tickets. You
[00:29:03] dumb fucks. You can still get tickets to Lancaster, Buffalo or Schenectady. And then Phoenix,
[00:29:09] Phoenix and Tucson 19 and 20th come out to those and also LA their second show. I might
[00:29:15] have fun over there. I cannot stop thinking about that. Guys, so good.
[00:29:20] I'm just holding his balls and it's hot. And he's just got a crusty on circumcised dick
[00:29:27] nose. But then the big purple smile. Yeah, it's definitely smile. He keeps bumping in
[00:29:34] his shoes. He has nuts for eyes. God damn, I love that. The other the other little red
[00:29:40] guy with the big mouth sneak sucks his dick sometimes. The guy who's pitching the show
[00:29:49] to Nickelodeon is like, what? They're monsters. That's what they do. They're monsters. That's
[00:29:59] good. I'm going to draw it as soon as we're done. Yeah, of course, dude. You got to draw
[00:30:04] that. Oh, yeah, you do one the tall skinny one. One of them is an umbrella, isn't she?
[00:30:11] Yeah, it's like a candy, a black white candy. Yep. Mm hmm. And then there's a little devilish
[00:30:16] red guy. The candy cane was kind of sexy. I remember being attracted to her as a child.
[00:30:24] The concept of a girl. Yeah, literally. Yeah. Presented to me. Yeah. What the fuck is she's
[00:30:30] a key out of cute boys? I was a child. I was warned up. I don't want to fuck Angelica.
[00:30:38] Yeah, modern day. Slam. Jellic. Yeah. I mean, this guy looks like a nice. He basically is
[00:30:44] a nutsack. Let's be honest. It's a little like on. It's like too much. What's his name?
[00:30:50] I don't remember Adam. What's his name? What's his name? Adam? Adam? What's his name? Just
[00:30:57] holding his balls. Yeah. Yeah, I bet it is. Rambal. Do you mean Rambal? Oh, yeah, it gets
[00:31:08] that it gets that some kind of like theme to their names. It gets stuck. It gets lickest,
[00:31:16] lickest, lickest, stickus. Pussy, lick it. Fussy. Fucking. Zimba. I don't remember. Dude,
[00:31:26] who gives a fuck? It gets Oblina and crumb. Oblina. My bitch. My bitch. Oblina. Tell me
[00:31:34] you don't want to fuck someone named Oblina. Oh, God. Tim Curry looking at Chub. He was
[00:31:44] like, I'll do it as long as I can hang out with. What was that guy's name? The Nickelodeon
[00:31:50] guy. Michael Dorn. What? Say his name? Pinchot. You dumb, bitch. Who was the girl? You got
[00:32:04] him. Who was the girl? Oblina. But who? Christine. Thank you. Christine Kavanaugh. As you played
[00:32:13] the girl. Damn, I would fuck her. Yeah, she's hot. What else was she in? Christine Josephine
[00:32:20] Sandberg. And never mind. That can's. Damn. I would smash though. Yeah, Christine.
[00:32:27] Wait, she's from Utah, but she's Jewish. How does that make sense? No, what the fuck do
[00:32:38] you mean? You can't be both of those. Oh, she died. Damn. All right. P to my bitch. I
[00:32:45] think I fucked her too hard. I fucked her too hard, actually. Her son listens to the show.
[00:32:50] Yeah, I'm sorry about that. If you do. And what I'm apologizing for is fucking your mother
[00:32:56] dad, by the way. Sorry, your mom got a pussy talking. Blow now. Blow. Okay, that's not
[00:33:10] the same thing as a Mormon Jew. You know, you're not a Mormon and a Jew motherfucker.
[00:33:19] Yeah, this bitch was the voice of babe pig in the city. You can get it chucky from Rugrats.
[00:33:26] She was voiced Dexter from Dexter's laboratory. She died at 51. Too young. She still could
[00:33:34] have got it. It was good pussy left. It was good. You were still could have been the pussy
[00:33:38] could have been got to my man. You can't let these bitches die when the pussy may still
[00:33:45] be got a five. Oh fuck. Having gay sex with a man. Of course. She's so hot. A shanti
[00:34:02] is still could get it. Wow, she doesn't she doesn't have any kids. That's sad. Damn. I
[00:34:09] would have piped this bitch. I would have fucked her children too. Yeah. She had a daughter
[00:34:13] that looked like her. Hmm. All right. Peter that pussy as well. Really? I you know, it's
[00:34:22] crazy. I don't think I've ever been the fuck in Waldorf. What do you mean? I don't think
[00:34:26] I've ever been the wall the dirty dwarf. I don't think I've ever been there. Dude, I've
[00:34:29] been there. I mean, my boys hit up a hot tub. My boy, Busy, shouts out. Yeah. Yeah. Huh.
[00:34:37] You call him Busy because he loves to bust. Yeah, he loves busting, dude. Bust it when that
[00:34:43] when that when that song. That's what I should have done for my birthday, man. I should
[00:34:45] be on the Waldorf. Dude, the dirty door like you ever go like Hagerstown? I've never been
[00:34:50] to Hagerstown. See, that's what I mean. You go to these like, yeah, you're right. You
[00:34:53] got your right. Yeah, sort of. Yeah, it's like West of Frederick. But like any time I'll
[00:34:59] be in Hagerstown, it's like, what the fuck is this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like this show
[00:35:02] will be wonderful. Exactly. Like, yeah, it's just horrible, like strip still Maryland.
[00:35:07] Yeah, you know, but it's like, you get it feels like Tampa or just some weird Florida
[00:35:12] if you feel like Florida. Yeah, that's where a gay shark good Charlotte's from Waldorf.
[00:35:18] Yeah, the dirty dwarf three. Oh, Dan 301. I believe. Yeah, me and like seven of my boys
[00:35:27] sat in a hot tub there one night. Yeah, it was pretty fucking wild. That is incredible.
[00:35:45] Dark shark. Jerkins. That rules. It's like a fake name. We come over. I know that one
[00:35:56] that doesn't even really make sense. It's so funny. I don't know exactly what I mean.
[00:36:06] What does Jerkins look like? Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. I was expecting a kangal
[00:36:21] hat. Wow, they never told anyone what she died from. Oh, yeah, I bet they didn't. Yeah,
[00:36:30] I didn't want that. My family, I was a minor at the time and they didn't want me being
[00:36:34] known as the guy who fucking in the death as a seven year old. She died in 2014. Oh, damn
[00:36:44] the effects of me fucking her took a while. Yeah, but I piped her when I was seven. Yeah,
[00:36:51] 2014. What? Yeah, that's right. She's a great actress, but now she literally she's broke
[00:37:06] in the middle of nowhere in Texas. No, why? Really? That sucks. They had her on a talk show
[00:37:15] recently and she was like a couple years ago. This is weird. She like abruptly retired in
[00:37:20] 2001 at 38 and then no, she like no one heard from our bitch. Obelina not Shelley Duvall.
[00:37:28] Christine Kavanaugh. Yeah. Christine Blasey Kavanaugh. Wait, hold on. Hold on. It's all
[00:37:37] coming together. It's all coming together. I just realized I fucked this bitch. It's
[00:37:45] all going together. The joke I initially made actually again is what it is. I just put it
[00:37:54] together. It was my cock that killed her. I solved the this capers over. Yeah. Are real
[00:38:04] monsters? I'm going to show called my dick. Yeah. That would that bitch. Ah, you're
[00:38:14] dead. Ah, not really the rest in peace. All right. P R. P. Oh, really? Inside pussy.
[00:38:20] The whole bleena. Not bleena. Yeah. Bus them down. No, bleena. All right. So when it was
[00:38:26] was Dr. Phil had Shelley Duvall. Oh, yeah. No, we, we, this happened while we were doing
[00:38:32] the podcast. We already talked about it. I don't remember this. Yes. But honestly, I
[00:38:36] don't remember should we talk about? Except getting my penis sucked. Oh, yeah. I told
[00:38:41] you I was going to say it on the podcast. So yesterday I went to a bookstore. Nice.
[00:38:46] I asked the guy working there who's like some fat ponytail guy. Yeah. Nick farted. Nick
[00:38:55] farted in his waving it. Adam with a pillow. His ass is at face level because Adam's on
[00:39:02] the beanbag chair. You had a cup. Nick had a shit. Yours was bad just now, but Nick had
[00:39:12] one when we did it with Jamel that was like, yeah, dude. But I had gotten over the, the
[00:39:18] whatever that stomach virus was. And for like three days, I was just shitting white. Nice.
[00:39:22] Yeah. That's what it was. The stomach virus. The stomach virus. Anyways, moving on. He
[00:39:34] was also throwing up white. Yeah, it was weird, dude. He was throwing up and shitting white.
[00:39:44] He had white stuff. He was like getting white out of his hands and stuff and out of his
[00:39:47] hair. It was bad. I felt bad for him having that. Yeah. He went out to, he did a bunch
[00:39:53] of cocaine, went out to a club with a mesh tank top on. And that's after that is when
[00:39:57] he caught that specific stomach virus. But anyway, nice.
[00:40:06] I think you have any candles that you can use to curse people. I don't want to fucking
[00:40:28] get it. Oh my God. That's incredible. A candle is as powerful as a gun to this fat motherfucker.
[00:40:48] Yeah, you're trying to riff a little bit. You still, are you still reading about? Oh, yeah,
[00:40:58] this Christine Cabanov is why I don't know. She just sort of like left entertainment,
[00:41:05] probably had a drug problem. I did something. I mean, you look at her and she's hot, but
[00:41:09] there's something, you know, sinister, not sinister. Maybe a candle or maybe a candle.
[00:41:14] Something sad about this lady. Yeah, I agree with you. No, you can't see it. Don't tell
[00:41:22] him. No, don't look. Here, look, I'm showing it to you. But you already messed up. This
[00:41:28] bitch. Yeah, I fucked her. No, Pamela Adlon. She also, she did the voice of Bobby Hill,
[00:41:38] my headline. Dad, can be in Joseph have gay sex. Dad, I don't have gay sex with Joseph.
[00:41:48] Joseph, get out of my house and get out of Bobby's ass. But dad, I like having gay sex.
[00:41:58] What me and Mr. Gribble do is for your own benefit. Dad, you have sex with. Hey, Peggy,
[00:42:07] I had gay sex to teach the boy a lesson. He called Bobby having gay sex. So he made
[00:42:16] a sec. Come on. Have a gay sex. The third, you guys get a bold dang card, get a little
[00:42:20] dink dick. I got my whole mind. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on.
[00:42:25] Come on. Come on. Come on. Put it back to get a dick. Get a ball of your heart. Play
[00:42:28] by the look around the asshole. That's our play. Like it's a little little whistle, man.
[00:42:33] Yeah, dang, dang, a little bit of a little bizzle of Kazoo or something. Can I do that
[00:42:37] then? Like, look around the outside of a little balloon on me. I'm gonna have gay sex. Get
[00:42:43] ass over. Stupid hillbilly have gay sex. He's so funny. You're the guy you watch holding
[00:42:50] catch fire. No. You know, the office manager. That's the guy who, well, office man, the
[00:42:58] guy that's going to play his con is just some white guy from Texas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You
[00:43:03] can tell he's he does someone else. He's like Matthew, he does cotton. He does cotton.
[00:43:06] And they sound alike. Yeah. If you think about it, you lay ocean boy, ain't you? Yeah. That's
[00:43:14] the best, dude. Stupid redneck. Come and gay sex on my lawn.
[00:43:21] Come on your own business. Me and Dale are doing what we need to do to honor the troops.
[00:43:34] The troops who protected Texas from Afghanistan. Damn, want us to have gay sex on your lawn.
[00:43:45] Damn. Trump. He would not have voted for Trump, though. He's from New York and shit. Who? Yeah.
[00:43:51] Hank Hill. Hank would not have voted for Trump. He wouldn't have voted for Trump. He would
[00:43:56] have voted for Trump. He would have been like a Marco Rubio guy or some shit. He on it.
[00:44:01] Well, you think you think you think you think you think he would have voted for Hillary Clinton?
[00:44:05] No, absolutely not. Then he would have voted for Donald Trump. No, but I mean the primary.
[00:44:12] Oh, for sure. Gary Johnson. Yeah. Yeah. But of course, boom hour, boom hour to vote
[00:44:22] for Trump. Man, gold, you know, grabbing on a pussy man. Man, shoot me. I wish I could
[00:44:32] do a better. You can. You got it. You just have to get the rhythm. Might need a little
[00:44:36] bit of cocaine. No, for Hillary. Hillary is Peggy. Peggy is Hillary. I am voting for Carly
[00:44:45] Fiorina. I cannot wait to El Caste, my vote. Hey, yo, vote, hey, now, Carly, for you,
[00:44:54] you know, I'm trying to what is calm look like these days. Yep, Bobby voting. The most
[00:45:04] American process there is. You mean besides having gay sex? Yes, but what? No, not besides
[00:45:12] having gay sex. Hank. Yeah. Oh, let my boy have gay sex. If the boy I want to have gay
[00:45:19] sex, he can have gay sex. Come on, Bobby. Let's go ahead and get gay sex and voting.
[00:45:25] No, no, Bill's not a Bernie, bro. Bill's pathetic. Just like you. Yeah, Bill wouldn't vote.
[00:45:41] Bill doesn't vote. Now, Bill would, Bill would order for Trump, dude. Bill's a Trump voter.
[00:45:49] Yeah, Republicans fucking Trump voters, dude. I can't stand them, especially not here in
[00:45:57] my New York apartment. Yeah. Where I know how everyone in the world thinks. I did. Here
[00:46:03] I am in my New York apartment, more in touch with everyone. Yeah. Yeah. It is so funny.
[00:46:08] It's like from like my Twitter feed, you think Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez just gonna be president?
[00:46:13] Yeah. It's like, I mean, and I think she's been doing good at shit. She's my bitch, but
[00:46:18] dancing shows. What? I mean, it was literally just one person to stick between them and
[00:46:24] everyone was acting like all the conservatives were back in her dance. I don't know, dude.
[00:46:29] All that shit happens once we're not gonna own if Louis C.K. uploaded a video of him doing
[00:46:35] that dance. That would be awesome. That would be the funniest fucking thing that can possibly
[00:46:43] happen right now. Yeah, whatever, whatever. I didn't see the video, but if Louie just uploaded
[00:46:51] that video and tweeted it out and like trying to get curry favor with people. Oh, like trying
[00:46:56] to be cool. That would be so goddamn funny. It would be awesome. Yeah. Most people don't
[00:47:15] even use Twitter, right? Like statistically. No, no, it does. Yeah. It's like what? How
[00:47:22] many people like 6% 5% it's not a dying company. No, there's more than that. Look, all these
[00:47:32] companies are going to deplatform their way out of business. And in two years, they're
[00:47:37] going to be deplatforming people that aren't even like remotely associated with like, I
[00:47:45] don't know. How does any website make money that's not ads? Yeah, ads and selling data
[00:47:50] and shit. Yeah, that's it. Data data is from what I heard on the subway, the new oil.
[00:47:58] It's the new oil. Dude, imagine the asshole saying that. Data is so deep. Yeah. I got
[00:48:16] a kind of guy named Ted you can talk to. Yeah. He heard of Ted talks, but here's about the
[00:48:21] tip talk. Why don't we get all the bitches in the room up to the front? We'll let you
[00:48:28] talk to my now before I begin. Just a guy with a headset on. Yeah. Ask every dumb bitches
[00:48:33] in the room. Let's get the let's get the bitches up here. Get all the pussy. Why don't you
[00:48:38] lean into my penis? If you understand my drift. Oh, fuck. Damn. Yo, did you see speak? We talked
[00:48:53] about our killing during the ad, but our Kelly, someone asked him like if he had ever heard
[00:48:58] of Dave Chappelle. He, you know, they asked him, they asked him to like respond to like,
[00:49:03] well, you know, it's been people have accused of this in the past. Like, you know, you know,
[00:49:08] on Chappelle show, they had a sketch and he's like, he's like, who? He's like Dave Chappelle.
[00:49:13] He's like, he's like, you know, very famous community. He just act like he had never heard
[00:49:19] of a nation. That is so fucking funny, dude.
[00:49:23] Yeah. What he, no, no, I knew this guy. I knew this guy. I'm killing you who Dave Chappelle
[00:49:52] was. Yeah. That's such a good move. Yeah. No, I knew a guy that was like, it was like
[00:50:00] two months before the election and in no eight. Yeah. And he fucking he didn't text me. It
[00:50:08] was just, it was this other comedians like dumbass roommate from New Jersey. The guy,
[00:50:12] you know, that story about somebody was daddling themselves in the corner. Yes. Yes. So it's
[00:50:18] like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that fucking guy, like texted my friend and it's a picture of
[00:50:24] like a bumper sticker or whatever. And Obama bumper sticker. And he's like, yo, look at
[00:50:29] this. Some guy running for fucking Lagavana or some shit, his name's Obama. They fucking
[00:50:37] like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, I read so awesome. Yeah, he's like,
[00:50:47] except September 2008. Yeah. Like the idea that you would not have, that would not have
[00:50:51] crossed come across your desk at all. That rules, dude. Yeah. That guy sold beer for the
[00:50:58] Redskins. Hell yeah, dude. Yeah. Well, that's what he would tell you, but he would always
[00:51:03] just be on the couch playing like fantasy star online. Like, I just say, like, it was dark.
[00:51:10] You would go over that apartment and the lights would be off. Hell, yes. And he would be like
[00:51:14] playing fantasy star online on some giant TV on the couch. Hell, yeah, dude. Yeah. Now
[00:51:19] all he did with you mean he was like a concessions guy? Yeah. Well, you'd be like, I mean, what
[00:51:25] do you do for work? He's like, I sell beer for the Redskins kid. And it's like, but like
[00:51:29] when? Yeah, yeah. He was from Jersey, I think. Yeah. So just Sunday call everybody kid.
[00:51:36] Yeah, well, he was from Jersey and he would call people kid. I don't know what to tell
[00:51:41] you. He also had one of those like, this like long died. Yeah, bleach goatees. Yeah. He was
[00:51:48] very much like a 1998 guy. Yeah. That whole crew was all guys that were like probably
[00:51:53] they're all 10 years older than me. So they're 40 or 40 year olds now. So in 2004 or five,
[00:52:02] whenever this was, they were like, Oh, please around the back of their necks. They were
[00:52:08] a bit of the front. Yeah, they were in there probably like mid to late 20s, I guess, back
[00:52:14] then. Yeah. Yeah. So if I was like 17, 18, yeah, they're probably like 27, 28, which means
[00:52:21] in yeah, like in the late 90s was there. That was their heyday. This is my look. This is
[00:52:26] my shit. And it's funny because I'm still friends with someone like you saw you see
[00:52:29] Andy Klein and Andy Klein was like like in 1990, 80s like, Oh, this is what I look like.
[00:52:35] Yeah. Continue that way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Those guys like still just have at least Andy's
[00:52:40] got the like, you know, he's just where he keeps it like low key. Yeah. In ages, well,
[00:52:45] his 90s look, well, he didn't go crazy with right, right, right. Yeah. I mean, the guys
[00:52:50] that are like fucking, you know, the proto Lewis Gomez fan, right? Yes. Yes. Yes. Which
[00:52:57] did evolve a little bit. The anthrac looking like anthrac. Yeah. Yeah. It did evolve a
[00:53:01] little bit like you still go. You still go fat guy, skate shoes, check now instead of
[00:53:06] yeah, now instead of like camo shorts or cargo shorts, it's like Stewie Griffin pajama bottoms.
[00:53:14] Oh, Jesus Christ. You know, like that. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Instead of like Adidas
[00:53:22] gazelles, it's you think they could went to, I don't know, like Doc Martin's maybe. But
[00:53:28] yeah.
[00:53:29] So this is the I found it the DMS.
[00:53:33] If you see other questionsula or you're in summer, basically you in summer, you're lying
[00:53:46] around. You won my
[00:53:40] DrawIE like you say that. You didn't tweet, right. Well, I'm okay.
[00:53:47] Yeah. Yeah. But I do post a live on my channel. I get럘ottage. You know, where's it?
[00:53:57] It's only because
[00:54:01] The pitch.
[00:54:03] Yeah, I'm just from Kenya.
[00:54:05] Answer.
[00:54:05] Barack Obama?
[00:54:06] Question.
[00:54:07] Yeah.
[00:54:08] Answer.
[00:54:08] What the fuck?
[00:54:09] That ain't no fucking name, yo.
[00:54:12] That ain't that N-word's name.
[00:54:15] You can't be serious.
[00:54:16] Barack Obama, get the fuck out of here.
[00:54:19] You're telling me you haven't heard of him before?
[00:54:22] Answer.
[00:54:23] I ain't really paying much attention.
[00:54:25] Question.
[00:54:26] I mean, it's pretty big if a black in the talk
[00:54:29] the
[00:54:40] at him if you're going to read the interview please read the
[00:54:42] history of the interview you brought this up your re
[00:54:45] please read it for bader don't read it all
[00:54:48] adam
[00:54:49] well then no
[00:54:50] either read it or don't man
[00:54:53] are you gonna say
[00:54:55] okay thank you
[00:54:57] or you can have to stop you could keep going but you know the
[00:55:00] stipulations
[00:55:02] well
[00:55:04] to make a decision
[00:55:07] make a decision
[00:55:11] okay
[00:55:14] that's fine you should
[00:55:17] uh... anyway uh...
[00:55:21] you should want to read the interview
[00:55:22] you start over but you have to do you know we said
[00:55:29] sex
[00:55:31] now you should do it in your voice
[00:55:36] you get in fact
[00:55:38] it is the mx
[00:55:42] it's not offensive
[00:55:45] you're reading
[00:55:47] it's the public record
[00:55:50] the public record
[00:55:53] say like a newscaster
[00:55:56] say it is in use cash
[00:55:57] yes
[00:56:00] shooting outside of a nightclub last week and i think i do
[00:56:07] yet what do you mean in use caster has to say it
[00:56:12] what the fuck are you talking about folks if you're triggered by these words
[00:56:16] we ask you to turn away now
[00:56:18] please ask your children to leave the room but as a newscaster i'm legally
[00:56:22] obliged to say
[00:56:26] like at a name one scenario
[00:56:29] where they have to say it
[00:56:33] no no
[00:56:34] just
[00:56:35] no no this is the research thing
[00:56:36] theoretically what would be one of the greatest videos of all time is that
[00:56:40] like high school teacher
[00:56:42] trolley and tripling down
[00:56:44] that soft a hard are
[00:56:46] that was all he's got charts
[00:56:52] the real water wide the that guy ruled man
[00:56:56] all that guy was so yeah he's like he doesn't even dispute it so i said to him
[00:57:00] pick up the pencil
[00:57:04] no
[00:57:09] it is a word that evokes many emotions in people as a derogatory racial remark
[00:57:14] that has divided people for many years and jefferson county high school teacher
[00:57:17] has now received the law this is the
[00:57:21] we're calling a student
[00:57:22] the
[00:57:23] this is the pender renee murphy investigates what happened and why in this
[00:57:27] story only see on eleven
[00:57:29] valley traditional high school is in the middle of a racial controversy right now
[00:57:34] what teacher
[00:57:35] say it's the n word towards the student
[00:57:37] lw
[00:57:37] is only six letters long but the
[00:57:40] is far we do want to warn you that some of the language is only six letters
[00:57:44] long and it may offend you and defend some other people at least twelve letters
[00:57:48] or not just about the n word it's also about the teachers intent and death by
[00:57:52] the way adam r this woman is not to be a word once in the story
[00:57:56] so it's a fucking talking about
[00:57:58] and what did he say specifically to you
[00:58:01] sit down here
[00:58:03] keystone papers of freshman at valley high school a boy scout a football player
[00:58:08] a p
[00:58:09] CL
[00:58:13] Love
[00:58:18] Dylan
[00:58:20] feed
[00:58:22] Cold
[00:58:24] Uh
[00:58:27] that
[00:58:31] is
[00:58:33] That's sort of what I've been trained to do
[00:58:39] I called him a cunt a cock-sucking faggot. Why is I love that like fucking arrested development shit on there?
[00:58:45] It's like, you know, that's sort of what I've been trained to do the school district said it was not
[00:58:49] What do you do? He tried to say I said it and for some and I didn't say it
[00:58:57] Oh, they didn't even say it knows that I said it because I didn't
[00:59:02] Documents on the school investigation show that several of the students interview from Valley did not hear quichon
[00:59:11] The charge version of the n-word at Valley High School all the time
[00:59:14] He says n i g g e r is a racial slur
[00:59:19] But says that students use n i g g a as often as they say doodle or hey man
[00:59:33] It hurt me why is this word used so frequently so
[00:59:39] So true, I just I just don't understand it
[00:59:42] This is this is this is eon is a teacher 100%
[00:59:49] Yes
[00:59:55] In a classroom just like I thought look they're all saying it
[01:00:03] In a classroom, we're supposed to all be on the same page
[01:00:06] I'm supposed to it would be
[01:00:08] Supremists if I didn't say it if I made them feel like I was like a different using a different language in them
[01:00:16] It's an English class. These are English words
[01:00:21] Mr. Finance was teaching kindergarten. It's your finance was suspended for having gay sex in the bathroom
[01:00:26] Yeah, yeah, mr. Finance was teaching kids kindergarten ceramics to white children
[01:00:41] I could have swore I heard him say it yeah, I think I did anything they were saying it amongst themselves
[01:00:47] I'm pretty sure I saw some looks in that he was sitting with their eyes
[01:00:51] You guys are actually be
[01:01:01] Oh good you breaking something over there
[01:01:04] And my dick kept getting hard, but his dick was too small to get hard
[01:01:11] And that is the story of Adam Friedland
[01:01:13] But Adam was already having what they didn't know was that Adam was already having gay sex
[01:01:21] But what they weren't aware of was that Adam was already having gay sex
[01:01:26] Unfortunately for the family involved Adam had already had but by the time the police arrived at the scene Adam had already had gay sex
[01:01:35] Yeah, someone sent me this picture and they said this is Ian. Oh, yeah, that's good stuff, baby. He's good stuff
[01:01:45] That's the the alien from
[01:01:49] Family the American dad. Yeah with Nigel Thornberry's face on yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what it is
[01:01:55] And that is who Ian is actually
[01:01:57] But by the time Adam saw the meme
[01:01:59] He had already had sex gay sex enough gay sex to last a lifetime
[01:02:06] And now Adam leaving the mound looking towards the heavens
[01:02:11] Probably asking some deceased relative forgiveness for all of that atrocious gay sex
[01:02:21] Damn
[01:02:24] Boys
[01:02:26] No one says anything wrong with it. Why would why do you assume there is?
[01:02:36] Yeah, yeah, you don't know the whole story I just watched that movie American Beauty last night
[01:02:43] Yeah, I surprised I thought it was gonna be two hours a I still shot of your mom's pussy
[01:02:48] Yeah, well, it's real American beauty that pussy hole
[01:02:56] Yeah, well she came here that look I happen to believe that once you step foot on this soil the your pussy's American
[01:03:02] The pussy belongs to the red range free and I'm proud to be an American
[01:03:11] But you do gotta pay the pussy
[01:03:13] Uncle Sam collects a hundred uncle uncle slam
[01:03:19] And he's fox all the women
[01:03:27] Walks after the second story bedroom window and Fox your wife from outside
[01:03:32] Uncle slam get the pussy tax. Mm-hmm. No, did he draw it? I hope he did
[01:03:50] I don't think that's gonna
[01:03:52] Oh shit dude who framed Roger Rabbit to what are you talking about making a sequel fuck that I
[01:04:02] Don't know let's go suck
[01:04:14] This is this is fan fiction. Sorry, okay. I'm reading fan I'm reading fan fiction again
[01:04:19] Nick Nick are you reading fan fiction? Oh shit? Dude? They're making a sequel to Pocahontas or she meets Luke Scott
[01:04:30] Dude, it's crazy. They're making a little mermaid with Sebastian and the flounder suck each other's cocks
[01:04:38] Malphoy and Harry Potter fuck each other
[01:04:40] Sebastian off
[01:04:48] That is correct ladies and gentlemen yo hands to be sure
[01:04:57] Are you talking oh, yeah the Italian
[01:05:03] They will
[01:05:05] Damn I'm gay I
[01:05:12] Didn't why don't you talk about something else yeah type in the in the in the interim I want to remind you guys that I will be on tour
[01:05:19] this weekend
[01:05:20] Tomorrow in Lancaster, Pennsylvania
[01:05:23] Pittsburgh the 11th. It's about to sell out buy your tickets now if it hasn't I couldn't add a second show
[01:05:28] Sorry, I'll be back Buffalo those still plenty of tickets on the 12
[01:05:31] And mop go and then the 13th it's connectedy stavi dot biz slash tour or just look at my Twitter or Instagram
[01:05:41] I'll also be in Phoenix on the 19th
[01:05:45] Let's buy more tickets to that you fucking sluts Tucson on the 20th and then also
[01:05:51] Hartford on the 24th Delaware on the 25th actually Ian might come with me in Delaware
[01:05:57] So yeah, we were all saying it he'll be saying the N word
[01:06:03] And then I'm in San Diego on the 27th those ticket is selling fast and then the Los Angeles on the twat on the second
[01:06:11] second show added
[01:06:12] Come out to that you fucking sluts
[01:06:15] Please actually I'm sorry for calling you sluts although. I'm not I want you. I'm sex
[01:06:19] We're sex positive around here and then also we have funny moms on the what is it?
[01:06:24] Prego don't imagine it's your sticker you pinnies in my ecelian
[01:06:29] Mr. Good my mom it is full of
[01:06:35] Just make a Google translate read things in Italian voice that is awesome
[01:06:41] Yeah, you are welcome to
[01:06:44] What else we got?
[01:06:46] Yeah, type up another beauty there for us Nick
[01:06:48] We also have funny moms on the 14th and the 28th of January come out to those and
[01:06:54] Tickets are not on sale yet, but I'm we're gonna work on that the all three of the boys will be in DC on the 30th
[01:07:01] Of March March 30th
[01:07:03] Part of the DC Underground Comedy Festival with the black cat
[01:07:08] We're doing a stand-up show and a live podcast by tickets to one by tickets to both you'll have a nice time
[01:07:14] We we guarantee it
[01:07:16] If you suck my dick
[01:07:21] And I work for men's warehouse and I'm right in shot
[01:07:31] What is that one failed
[01:07:35] I explained the difference between these two
[01:07:40] No
[01:07:42] Okay, yeah, I guess with the Italian voice reads it
[01:07:47] It's like pizza pizza
[01:07:52] Okay folks welcome to the welcome to
[01:07:57] Fuck what the you're right keep going what's the thing called? Yeah of something group the group no
[01:08:05] Folks hello welcome to the focus group
[01:08:08] What we're doing is rebranding got certain pizza neighbor
[01:08:13] Little Caesars they have to just to use the first one. Yeah, we got a couple different options
[01:08:20] Okay, so it's a it's in a tower. Yeah, we're gonna do options one two or three now
[01:08:26] Which one keep an open mind? Yeah, and just whatever gut reaction. What do you like the best? Yeah?
[01:08:31] And now we just want you to not really think too much about it just go with what's instinctual
[01:08:38] Mm-hmm if you like the original you can just say that but let's let's go ahead and try it out here
[01:08:42] This is everybody ready. This is little Caesars promo slogan
[01:08:48] options one two and three
[01:08:50] Oh no pizza pizza do it my mommy a great knee gunnie girl
[01:09:00] Just pick the one you want
[01:09:02] I'm sorry. I must have heard your mom. Could you play them? Yeah, we'll play them again here
[01:09:07] Let's just get the tape but you know, I don't think you know just whatever you heard. Yeah, so um
[01:09:14] Okay, I mean I like the first one please we'll play it again
[01:09:18] Don't jump to any conclusion. It takes a very long time. It's a very long time. It's not easy to
[01:09:25] Make the tape rewind
[01:09:29] One pizza pizza to my mommy a three knee gunnie girl, so okay, that is what I thought
[01:09:39] Okay, thanks for coming to the focus group everybody
[01:09:43] What I thought you know
[01:09:45] Everyone's doing stuff, and we also got Papa John's
[01:09:53] Yeah, we have Papa John's yep
[01:10:00] Here's one we work shopping here at Papa John's
[01:10:02] Yeah, I want to fuck that woman yeah, computer Italian woman
[01:10:19] Yo that bitches on fucking lean
[01:10:21] No slow it down dude, they didn't get a bit suck my knee
[01:10:32] Screw yeah, I'm gonna fuck a Italian bitch on lean
[01:10:39] Maker say stop you penis and that's so small
[01:10:46] Damn
[01:10:48] I want to tell you my pussy's wide open for business
[01:10:54] My pussy's wide open for business
[01:10:59] Maker say stop your dick's not
[01:11:09] No, no not that don't make her say that
[01:11:13] I
[01:11:15] Stovey your dick is malbat my pussy style
[01:11:20] Hey, I'll take it
[01:11:28] Dude honestly I'll take that
[01:11:32] I think at the bottom
[01:11:34] My pussy's tight you guys talk for a second. I'm gonna put some yeah
[01:11:40] Just fire those up dude load the cannon up with those Nick also being Chicago
[01:11:46] We don't know when March 3rd at the Lincoln Lodge if you saw me there go see my boy Nicholas
[01:11:51] He's gonna lay it down. He's gonna suck you off
[01:11:54] He will personally give you head
[01:11:56] I had a well, this is the first time you've been back since the New Year. Do you have any resolutions my friend?
[01:12:06] Oh, yeah, like what?
[01:12:11] That's enough shut up shut up
[01:12:13] Did he fuck me, baby like you drink to death my job brave not rapid my sister. All right. That was all fucked up
[01:12:20] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
[01:12:23] Titty fuck me it's titty fuck me, baby like you're trying to get my job pregnant rape my chest like a child
[01:12:30] Yeah, well I am a TV writer I do it. I did right for one six seasons of HBO's
[01:12:38] rape street
[01:12:40] David Simon's rape
[01:12:42] Cleveland Cleveland Chinese people on the rape scene of Cleveland
[01:12:51] Anybody watch Tremaine or no, it's not good
[01:12:56] What's just black people playing clarinet
[01:13:06] But the sweaty swamp
[01:13:08] I'm all set on that I'm all good. I'm gonna go back to watching dr. Johnny get back in here make the Italian girl say she wants to suck my dick
[01:13:24] Excuse me Johnny work the computer for Papa I want to hear the Italian girl say she wanted to suck my day
[01:13:29] Oh speaking at n-bomb remember when David Simon dropped that on Twitter. Yeah. Yeah, that was so funny. Basically
[01:13:38] He's the same defenses
[01:13:42] But yeah, but you know then he like dressed it all up and like nerd English major bullshit. He's like the
[01:13:48] interpretive
[01:13:51] quite it's
[01:13:53] reflexively adaptive to
[01:13:56] the
[01:13:57] tutorial
[01:14:00] Yeah, the N word you fucking asshole dropped an N bomb like a fucking idiot. Yeah
[01:14:11] You've said it before
[01:14:14] All the time dude that last when that when those um we were hanging out of your house and those little kids
[01:14:19] Those little black kids tried to sell you candy bars all the things you said you said it a bunch when they came
[01:14:25] That was weird
[01:14:27] You've never said it when one hasn't been inside of you
[01:14:32] Don't keep shame my king's name is saying the N word he did the dick he my pussy after you fuck it. It's not Adam's move
[01:14:51] He my pussy after you fuck it. It's not Adam's move. It's not Adam's move you heard of your first folks
[01:15:00] All right, well
[01:15:02] Folks you've basically seen what the future of this show is going to be this is probably gonna be us for what another six months
[01:15:09] Just doing this I think there's nothing we can never be as funny as an Italian bitch saying stuff like that. So
[01:15:18] That's gonna do it for it. Do we have a second read no
[01:15:22] Well
[01:15:23] That's gonna do it for us folks
[01:15:25] Thank you come see me this weekend. I'll suck you off come see me next weekend if you're a phoenix and
[01:15:31] later if you're in LA
[01:15:33] Bye