Cum Town | Regular | 03/14/2019
[00:00:00] check check check check you're listening to WNIG the sweet sounds of
[00:00:08] Cincinnati's finest jazz it's that's not the that's not the radio station
[00:00:15] I'm sorry you've worked here for 40 you got a stop HR my I'm sorry I've said
[00:01:14] that's a good one that one is good for me folks all right good night let all to do
[00:01:24] it listening everyone we're not topping my balls I believe my dick small oh guys
[00:01:33] I got some medical needs I kind of want to make an announcement to my fans go
[00:01:38] ahead before they hear anything in the media we already heard the song about
[00:01:41] you we just did it that's not a medical issue so that I can still pee can you
[00:01:51] at least use the electric things that say the clear go clear
[00:02:02] please use the paddles you the ones you use on mice when they have that problem
[00:02:09] I have been diagnosed with medical grade dandruff oh really medical you got that
[00:02:24] you got that I got dermatitis hold on let me pause you right there I have had
[00:02:28] horrific dandruff my whole life it's all my shit is always fucking shedding or
[00:02:33] whatever do not give a fuck never if care wants really well I just had hurt
[00:02:37] your head or something yeah my head my head is in here and so I said you know
[00:02:45] what I'm ready for the frontier no no that's not true I will not go quietly
[00:02:49] into that good man suck in my hair I'm gonna fight sitting on my head man
[00:02:58] would you mind lubricating my scalp with that awful pussy that's a good
[00:03:03] that's a good Arthur yeah well I played a lot of the game yeah mammer these
[00:03:09] fillers bothering you so that's it I'm trying to have gay sex maka I gotta get
[00:03:22] did anyone play online I thought it was gonna be a thing for a second I think
[00:03:25] there's an online beta out yeah that's you for the cucks is that when you go
[00:03:32] online yeah like I'm waiting for the online alpha but yeah no I've just been
[00:03:39] playing story mode but someone DM me and said that if I haven't been doing the
[00:03:44] side missions there's a point in the game where it's like I get I'm completely
[00:03:47] fucked oh really yeah why yes why would they make them fucking side you have to
[00:03:52] do all the side missions and you can't go back and do them really yeah oh yeah
[00:03:56] you got to do all of them they're like before yeah which side you haven't you
[00:04:00] done you just been doing story only yeah oh that's you're stupid that's not
[00:04:05] you play a rock star game which why I have all the clothes and millions of
[00:04:09] dollars that is sure you can have all literally all the millions of dollars
[00:04:13] and I've done nothing I like four thousand dollars I have way less than that
[00:04:16] yeah you really can't make money you can't really yeah yeah I feel pretty rich
[00:04:22] off that for Jesus you have all the cool custom weapons no yeah I got the
[00:04:27] Viking acts I wear the pig mask with the Viking acts yeah that shit yeah I can't
[00:04:33] even keep a hat it's in like the redneck village they got a pig mask my hat
[00:04:37] just blows off my head constantly the rednecks they put it on they go look at me
[00:04:42] I'm I'm cat Barbara Doro I'm mad about something no I'm saying they the red
[00:04:50] next do that they do that they do that I wouldn't do something yeah yeah yeah
[00:04:53] what I know that's fucking me I'm friends with her I wouldn't do something like
[00:04:58] that that's me rednecks is that how they like how Bonnie McFarland was a
[00:05:02] character in the other rednecks exactly same thing yeah oh I mean they just
[00:05:06] oh oh I'm not talking about our friend cat no I meant the character in the game
[00:05:12] that just happens at the same name as a female comedian all right they did do
[00:05:17] that to Bonnie that they did there literally was a Bonnie McFarland in the
[00:05:20] first red rich rich was like they put my girlfriend in space invaders my
[00:05:25] name was in Nintendo Mario the new Mario came out she's in the TV we should do a
[00:05:36] rock star we we got a holler at rock star I was about to do like a playthrough
[00:05:39] one time with soda but I was on the road let's do a come town rock star
[00:05:43] playthrough yeah I auditioned for actually red dead oh really yeah I was
[00:05:47] got a but Taylor catch him went in after I did a better job and he got it I
[00:05:51] mean that man is a red dead character just walk in the real like right now I
[00:05:54] know I went in and like the I did it and then casting director whoever is
[00:05:58] there was like that was great you're probably too short though and I'm like
[00:06:02] it's a video game it's a voice over it just fucking crop me bigger what's that
[00:06:10] posse yeah the guy told me I was too sure to be a voice in a video game what
[00:06:16] Taylor isn't even that's all he's bigger than Nick yeah he's a big guy well do the
[00:06:22] cut off is six foot if you're under six foot you got to be good at podcasts
[00:06:26] you're over six and be a well hey life's fucking easy street for you really is
[00:06:31] and I'm going to I'm going to when I hear of your cancer diagnosis go I'm so
[00:06:38] sorry yeah you'll do a really good joke about it on the yeah text that we have
[00:06:49] I think we have three deaths have been announced on that group text and I just
[00:06:54] run away and I just come through with the singer I mean I laugh at your cancer
[00:06:58] diagnosis and then I run I run away through a full speed through a series of
[00:07:02] tables yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
[00:07:09] yeah damn well I heard that you don't even make that much for voiceovers for
[00:07:15] video games like the guy that did uncharted Nathan whatever the guy is it
[00:07:19] for you who played Nathan whatever the characters name is like he's he was at
[00:07:24] like a con or something he's like yeah I have to keep doing this because I get
[00:07:28] paid I got paid like five thousand dollars no way something video something like
[00:07:32] that Adam is low key playing video games and looking up like convention
[00:07:37] footage to like see with the stars of the games he's a secret gamer he doesn't
[00:07:43] want anyone to know yeah he has full gamer yeah Adam's getting out of mind
[00:07:47] like the Deprestige Halo 3 package where you get like the outfit of the
[00:07:52] halo guy yeah the game comes in like a full suit of body armor
[00:07:56] God shouts out master chief you're getting hit from Cortana master chief
[00:08:02] Billy Sunday that's the character's name right yeah yeah I love playing halo is
[00:08:15] Billy Sunday's what men of honor I don't know I've never played that game
[00:08:18] men of honor was my favorite movie when I was like with Robert's in here on
[00:08:23] Cuba what it's about diving it's not diving when I was about a black guy
[00:08:29] that was a guy for the name is like you can't dive boy I was in sixth grade I
[00:08:33] saw that and I was like this is my favorite
[00:08:36] this is the best movie I've ever seen there's in the last scene he has to put
[00:08:41] on like the fucking the old-school diving kit which costs which weighs like a
[00:08:45] thousand pounds he has to stand up or stand up in it because his leg got
[00:08:49] shredded by an anchor yeah so they'd like reconstruct his leg and then he has to
[00:08:54] stand up in court and he's like crying Jesus Christ Robin Nero's like you know
[00:08:58] get it boy boy I don't want you to do well boy he's using his cape fear accent
[00:09:06] yeah yeah he should southern denier Southern denier I can out redo I can
[00:09:12] out smart you counselor one of the best in heroes italian's pretend to be
[00:09:19] southern is so funny yeah you could just be Italian to make it like the scary
[00:09:24] thing about his character is that he read a lot of books in prison he knows
[00:09:30] about serve serve onto I can't even name it author yeah no he goes a cart or
[00:09:36] what he goes yeah he's like I saw him in the library reading the spoke
[00:09:40] zara sousstra by Fred record new yee-chee-chee-chee-chee can you believe that
[00:09:47] that's what was his name Joe Don Baker that's the guy mm-hmm something what's
[00:09:52] zara through straw that sounds cool that's a neat you look is there a
[00:09:56] through straight ever write stories or was it all philosophy yeah he wrote a
[00:10:00] couple he could really cut soft you wrote who framed Roger rat I knew that
[00:10:07] was some heavy shit that shit I was thinking about that for fucking weeks
[00:10:11] after I saw that shit well the tunes are basically in a lot of people will
[00:10:15] deny this but they're Jews and you know a lot of people want to say that that's
[00:10:20] not what he was implying no the tunes are black people the tunes are Jews no
[00:10:25] toon town and they pretend to be victims you can't really you need a special
[00:10:32] chemical to erase oh I can't die I don't know I was trying to put it I was trying
[00:10:40] to synthesize three different things the Holocaust Nishi and who framed was a
[00:10:46] high concept was he was Nishi anti-semitic a lot of people say no but I like to
[00:10:51] say yes he was I don't know if he was anti-semitic I know that he was
[00:10:57] basically every dramatic yeah every German raw dog and back yeah he went
[00:11:02] crazy from ST every German from the Enlightenment until the death of the
[00:11:07] Darkle Hitler was anti-semit really every single the second Hitler died
[00:11:12] they're all switch teams well yeah I mean but that was the death of Germans
[00:11:16] doing anti-semitic damn yeah but for 200 years unchecked now they get really
[00:11:21] mad when you call them anti-semitic yeah yeah they're like you can't like don't
[00:11:26] aren't their laws against saying oh shit once again oh yeah what they said that
[00:11:32] the madness of Nishi was cancer not syphilis I thought you just said bipolar
[00:11:37] disorder oh funny all these people that we think were smart were just mentally
[00:11:42] ill yeah like in Greece the Oracle of the Delphi or whatever the fuck yeah it's
[00:11:47] like they would go tell the future and they would see like crazy shit and there
[00:11:51] was just a gas leak in that cave yeah they were straight up huffing gas and
[00:11:55] see hallucinating shit right being like yep this is the future was it was it was
[00:12:00] the Oracle at they then yeah yeah I had a pussy and a dick at the same time
[00:12:06] intersects because of all the gas not a Oracle mm-hmm yeah she can see
[00:12:12] she's going to block just whoever's in front of yeah you see the future in her
[00:12:18] pussy whoa damn that would be awesome that would be pretty we'd you have a
[00:12:23] crystal ball in her foot would you part the lips and a little crystal ball would
[00:12:26] be there there'd be just an outpouring of golden light mm-hmm kind of like the
[00:12:30] suitcase and pulp fiction oh hell yeah what was in that damn suitcase that's what
[00:12:36] I want to know I'll tell you it was in that picture of Adam with the
[00:12:40] head pressure yeah you should bring that look back the Bob that was so funny
[00:12:51] when you're trying to grow your hair out for some reason yeah I wanted to see
[00:12:55] if it looks good well I mean that's what anyone does when they grow their hair
[00:12:59] out it's to see if it looks good and then you have spent a year doing it and
[00:13:02] you're like it does not look good yeah yeah yeah you go get a haircut elders had
[00:13:06] a nice mane going for a while yeah I look nice it was hilarious he looks good with
[00:13:11] a Kramer though he looks he was the other Kramer the tall hair I'm gonna get
[00:13:16] plugs dude I would love you to get plugs and slap your slap your leaves like a
[00:13:21] lady working at me long ass finger and press on fingernails that is correct
[00:13:29] yeah I'll probably get plugs and then I'll get that bone crushing surgery which
[00:13:36] have long shins to make yourself taller mm-hmm we'll start wearing lifts yeah
[00:13:42] lifts that's my midlife crisis there is and you can't say his name on the
[00:13:47] show will threaten the sue you really yeah that's well we'll get that Bobby's
[00:13:52] podcast really we'll let our intrepid somebody somebody somebody somebody like
[00:13:58] made fun of him for running bringer shows on Bobby's podcast oh I know that
[00:14:02] yeah I know we're talking yeah he was like yeah I've got a lawyer
[00:14:08] from it for pointing out the things I do in real life that's that's slander
[00:14:16] we're I listing the things I do like forget lives if you were just walking
[00:14:22] around in like big red high-heeled shoes that would be a hilarious move yeah
[00:14:27] obviously yeah we're talking about I'm tall I'm tall with the six two just
[00:14:33] with six inch he was high-heeled shoes big like fucking like what was that
[00:14:39] like candy goth look remember that when there was like the goth would also have
[00:14:43] like rainbow clown hair and the girls with like the huge platform shoes yeah
[00:14:48] like almost like scene kids now is pre-scene in between scene and goth huh the
[00:14:54] for the 400 a scene yeah cuz like seen that I think the real delineation between
[00:14:59] scene and goth is the proliferation of emo music because a lot of goths just
[00:15:05] listening to industrial yeah that's right yeah and then jungle yeah
[00:15:14] jungle beats drum and bass GMB jungle yeah that's what our friend our
[00:15:20] British friend used to DJ I love jungle jungle drum and bass drum and bass I
[00:15:25] was DJ and Barcelona no but then what separates him is the scene kids had hair
[00:15:34] like fucking like all the guys and like fucking guns and roses cover bands yeah
[00:15:39] yeah yeah you know a modern take on that yeah those like Hollywood like a
[00:15:44] sunset strip that's the air I should have been in baby you know people say
[00:15:50] they're an old soul and they wish they were born like 30s rock I wish I was on
[00:15:54] the sunset strip dude we're in a mesh tank top bleach blonde hair rock and roll
[00:16:00] live forever dude we're gonna go see King Starlight or shitty fucking hair
[00:16:08] bands Cinderella yeah Striper yeah rat rat they had they had some good yeah I
[00:16:18] never liked hair metal there's not a single hair metal band I really did
[00:16:22] honestly I had a phase where I liked when I went to Greezer pussy cat was I went
[00:16:27] to Greece and I was I think I was into boy bands I see like spice girls and
[00:16:32] fucking backstreet boys and shit when I was like a little kid and then I went
[00:16:35] to Greece and my cool-ass cousin Laonita had metal and so I was like oh
[00:16:40] Tom to fucking be in the metal yeah and I was just so into like fucking I remember
[00:16:45] I had a quiet riot CD that I was just quiet right count come on fear the
[00:16:51] nose quite right count is here metal I think so it was it was it was stadium
[00:16:56] rock yeah really yeah I mean I like guns and roses and shit like that like
[00:17:01] early guns yeah Motley crew that was my shit as well yeah Vince Neil shots out
[00:17:07] never like my life I didn't even really like quiet riot I mean I just like come
[00:17:12] on feel the noise right well I had I had a couple of the yeah metal health yeah
[00:17:18] yeah the rock of love guy was in poison poison you know I didn't like
[00:17:26] poison that much but I gotta say I love rock of love it's on Amazon
[00:17:33] uncensored we discussed this I think last year you wears that headband cuz
[00:17:37] these balls right I think it's style you think it's so what's Amazon uncensored
[00:17:43] you can see like Jeffrey Tambor's penis a lot of shots of like this is look good
[00:17:49] tucks can you see my penis when it's tough like this yeah you get to see the
[00:17:54] deleted scenes where he's sexually harassing all the women in the workplace
[00:17:57] yeah all the trans women he forcibly sucked off I think he just hugged them
[00:18:01] to I just want to know the character I just want to understand what the
[00:18:04] characters motivation zone please let me hug you Hank he shuts out Hank Kingsley
[00:18:09] hey what are the best fucking characters of all time I don't even know what
[00:18:14] Jeffrey Tambor sounds like he's got like a deep dopey voice is it like that no
[00:18:19] not cool yeah Hank's voice was like that but you're doing you're doing what's this
[00:18:26] a fucking baby's brother oh yeah oh yeah Brad Garrett it's almost spring dude I
[00:18:34] know I was walking all along the city just a couple days I am not looking
[00:18:39] forward to summer I might I might vacation in like Antarctica no dude
[00:18:44] summer sucks ass no it's good now I like the winner you should move to Iceland
[00:18:50] I'm going to Russia hard dick I'm gonna spend this though the summer in Siberia
[00:18:54] is it even hotter there is it don't they have like a wild ass fluctuation or
[00:19:01] some shit no the further north you get the closer you get to this exactly
[00:19:06] yeah do you see Bill Nye endorsed AOC oh yeah so she's officially canceled oh
[00:19:18] really yeah you want this some gay ass scientist no way some fucking gay
[00:19:24] what does that mean endorsement like he's like I think the Congress woman from
[00:19:28] the Bronx and Queens is good yeah we don't get Queens he rubbed his mind
[00:19:33] you rub the balloon against her head and then it's just static but it touched
[00:19:37] it like put held his penis maybe an inch from her nipple shot every yeah
[00:19:44] that's how he does that's how Bill Nye endorses a political game that makes
[00:19:51] sense yeah only the worthy shock his penis she better endorsed Bernie Sanders
[00:19:56] or I'm gonna fucking right in the streets yeah one man anti-fah yes I'm gonna
[00:20:03] check floraz I want to ski mask me and Jake Flores just going around fucking
[00:20:07] shoving people right right yeah cuz the yeah like when you set a telephone
[00:20:20] booth on fire it's basically like you know reading the book voting what you
[00:20:28] know why don't we do something with telephone booths they're out there still
[00:20:31] they did they turn them in there's a link NYC things oh is that what those are
[00:20:35] yeah you can make calls on those apparently I wanted a little changing
[00:20:40] booth or a bidet yeah a turn it's a super yeah a public bidet a public bidet
[00:20:45] those are just get shit in that's really yeah but think about the two weeks where
[00:20:50] they're not we all have minty clean assholes would even be two weeks would be
[00:20:54] two hours I've never used it today well I didn't I thought we were all not
[00:21:02] doing it no we were all we were all raving about talking about how is the
[00:21:06] best part of the entire the robot sucking your asshole yeah and how I put on the
[00:21:10] pussy setting to blast my ball me to yeah I put the gooch yeah tickle my gooch
[00:21:15] that's a fucking awful no it's nice it feels delicious I hate it when my dick
[00:21:20] is or balls are ever wet what a worse feeling in the world that's honestly one
[00:21:24] of the best you know like getting your dick with I hate it I love to fuck
[00:21:30] saying Nick fucking swims with a condom on
[00:21:34] bags of rice I love that shit you cooked to write it goes up magnums with rice and
[00:21:41] then go swimming and keep it dry silica packets on his nuts
[00:21:47] I love that shit I mean a dry dick random you never know what I'm gonna say
[00:21:52] nice I can say something wild next you have no idea just another day and how
[00:21:59] dry your dick is another day in life of being a dry dick random well I'll tell
[00:22:05] you what folks what's up I've been doing a little betting lately really no not
[00:22:10] really well I have no but my friends have at BetheSI.com such a good website
[00:22:16] B-E-T does she? Does she? Does she? Do she? Do the bitch? Do the bitch?
[00:22:30] interrogation do the bitch? That's what it stands. Yeah it's DSS stands for do the
[00:22:35] bitch tab. If you like me you're tired out all these trifling ass hoes going
[00:22:43] around sleeping with hundreds of guys and then trying to try to sneak on you
[00:22:50] some accusation bullshit. I'm trying to come to the sponsor by BetheSI.
[00:22:59] You just read this opinion sponsored by BetheSI. BetheMRA Bethe would have been a
[00:23:08] bitch. This is copy they emailed us. Yeah when Detective showed my house and they
[00:23:13] say remember us and it's like you know oh I know everybody down at the SVU.
[00:23:18] These trifling bitches be doing this to me and you can bet. So you're one of those guys.
[00:23:23] You're one of these kind of fellows you're a gambling man. It takes a real
[00:23:27] gambling man to play those odds to play the odds of the dating game.
[00:23:35] That's right you gotta go to BetheSI.com calling a committing rape.
[00:23:41] The Hitting Game. All of this by the way again sorry this is BetheSI.com
[00:23:51] yeah this is not my opinion. These are not my feelings. BetheSI.com is a
[00:23:59] premiere sports book betting website. They've been business over 20 years.
[00:24:03] What? Yeah one year for every fucking 20 of them.
[00:24:12] Yep that's true. 20 years 20 that's two decades folks. So true. And you know think
[00:24:21] about that 20 years ago what was that the 1980s. It was like there were
[00:24:26] computers. Yep it hadn't even been invented. It was green all the screens
[00:24:30] were green. Everybody was living in Vice City. Yes at pastels. Yeah fucking
[00:24:36] low for it white low for white low for is going around Miami. You know picking
[00:24:42] up horrors and killing them and you're in the lowrider you stole from a
[00:24:46] Latino. That's what that's when BetheSI came back. That's what the founders were
[00:24:50] doing you know for this website. You would have to load the website from a tape.
[00:24:56] And so the business 20 years paying out winners. Oh yeah. You better
[00:25:04] fuck paying off paying off winners. If you win they'll bring your son to their
[00:25:09] house and they'll pay him off. Oh yeah. They won't he's not allowed to tell you
[00:25:13] what happened there. But you can count on it. They will pay off those winners.
[00:25:17] They got a mobile app. They got a mobile. They got an award winning for 24 seven
[00:25:26] customer service. You call them up for a you call them up for a hurt. Yeah my
[00:25:32] penis. My penis hurt. My penis. I'm so bad from the website. Why my penis. I'm so
[00:25:44] bad. If you be your cop off too much looking at any website. Yeah you call
[00:25:48] it. BetheSI. I'm complaining about it. And then you'll be connected immediately
[00:25:53] with the customer service representative. Uh huh. And you could do that. My penis
[00:25:56] hurt too much. And they'll do something about it. Absolutely. I can't promise you
[00:26:02] what it will be as long as it's something. It could be hanging up on you.
[00:26:07] It could be. Hey so you will. Something will have happened. You will be able to
[00:26:11] access their 24 seven customer service. That's how think about all the really
[00:26:16] cool businesses that are open 24 seven. Uh huh. That's a real sign of seven eleven
[00:26:21] seven eleven. You know no shady stuff going on there. That's a good business
[00:26:25] to go to. Absolutely. Nothing bad's ever happened at 7 11. No Bob Evans. Yeah.
[00:26:30] This is an open 24 seven. Well I I stand correct. That I guess it's just
[00:26:37] seven some McDonald's. I bet the SI. It's really just seven eleven and
[00:26:41] I'm just gonna be a side. And you can bet on that folks. Oh yeah. In fact.
[00:26:47] We're betting on stuff right now. Yeah we're betting on um. I've decided the
[00:26:53] Lakers are making the playoffs. Yeah he thinks so. Andre Ingram just got
[00:26:58] picked up from the G league. That's right. The better of the Ingram's. Yeah.
[00:27:02] The Lakers organization. Brandon Ingram's dad. Is it? Literally I think it is
[00:27:07] real to. No I think it's like an uncle. No way. I'm pretty sure. No. Maybe wrong.
[00:27:15] But yeah. Um you can bet also on the Champions League. Soccer. Champions.
[00:27:24] Man you. Man you made it through BPSG in the second leg. I say man you. I haven't
[00:27:29] I haven't been following soccer at all this year. They also have live in game
[00:27:32] wage rings. Yeah. Wow. You can do it. You can change your mind. That's the thing
[00:27:35] that's such a good feature I often forget about it. I have to forget that's not
[00:27:40] so natural. That's how tight that the SI is. They have so many features. They
[00:27:44] offer so many. They offer so much tight shit that I forget about it until we're
[00:27:48] almost done talking about the things that are happening. Monster jam's coming up.
[00:27:53] Oh shit. You bet on that. Which is the most racist truck. Where does Monster
[00:27:57] jam go? MSG? No I doubt they're in the city. No. You got to go out to the
[00:28:02] Nassau Coliseum. There's no way there's no way. There's no way Trump would allow
[00:28:08] that in his city. There's no way he would allow a truck that's bigger than him.
[00:28:15] Anywhere. Someone. Okay so when you sign up make sure you use promo code
[00:28:20] come 120 so they know we sent you. Oh yeah. That's CUM 120. A lot of people don't know
[00:28:27] that. So when you sign up you've got some options. You can just play and cash out
[00:28:31] or you can take the bonus money which is like getting a casino comp up front
[00:28:35] before you've played at the tables. It used to be more than 120 right?
[00:28:41] Some yeah there's a rollover requirement but it's free cash. So if you're going to
[00:28:44] be in the sports book which is where we like gambling there. We love it dude.
[00:28:48] I love hanging out. We love it. I hang out in the sports book. I fucking post up against
[00:28:53] the wall and I said the thing I like about these preschool girls.
[00:28:56] That they have not having sex with. That's the line. Can you say that in the sports
[00:29:04] book at the sports book where we hang out? I haven't heard you say that in the sports
[00:29:09] book. Well I'm there all the time. I'm doing the character from the movie.
[00:29:13] Matthew. Yeah the Matthew McConaughey character. Days. Oh right. That's a classic line.
[00:29:17] Yeah. What are you girls up to? You trying to fuck? Put together some blocks.
[00:29:22] You're trying to have sex with an adult. The classic Matthew McConaughey.
[00:29:28] So if you use promo code COM20 up to $1000. So what? 60% bonus cash which you turn a thousand
[00:29:34] in the 1600 to play with. So once again it's bettheside.com. Come on 20. Let's start the show.
[00:29:40] Don't start the fucking show bitch. All right doggies. What we're doing plugs. Come see us in DC
[00:29:50] soon at the 30th to shows. One stand up show at 8 p.m. One live podcast at 10 p.m.
[00:29:57] separate shows by tickets to one by tickets to both. We'd love to see you there.
[00:30:03] It's at the historic black cat DC. We have to sell a lot of tickets
[00:30:07] when we hope we have the ability to do that. Some of your favorite punk bands have played
[00:30:13] there is a punk rock legendary venue. That's where the crazy good Charlotte played. That's right.
[00:30:21] That's where yellow card. Yellow card for Charlotte. Okay. Sorry.
[00:30:27] Holy shit. Turge. They even rock. One of them is married to Cameron Diaz.
[00:30:33] What? I think so. Cameron Diaz. I really believe so. From the mass? Yeah dude. She's a fucking fox.
[00:30:40] I love her. We love her. We love her don't we folks. Oh yeah. Big big camera. I watched that movie
[00:30:49] Drew Barrymore never been kissed last night. Kiss me. Pretty fucked up movie. Kiss my little
[00:30:55] little she's like the teach. She's flirting with the teacher the whole time and he's falling in love with her and then he finds out that she's not a student and he feels betrayed.
[00:31:09] hilarious and if he doesn't feel he's never like oh great I could think I don't want to
[00:31:15] fuck a child. No he's like you watch me. That's really yeah it's a weird movie. It's a weird movie. Yeah.
[00:31:23] Does she make out with any children? She makes that. Well there's like one scene where it's like oh she's about to molest but then her brother played by David Arquette in his 1 800 CALATT prime.
[00:31:36] Oh yeah. You know this is 90s Arquette. Yes. He was really killing the game. He because he used to be a great high school baseball player also goes back to high school and then he starts to poach or is it no no like to pose as a student because he just wants to go back to party.
[00:31:52] And it's kind of implied he's fucking it's not explicit. That's some wild shit dude.
[00:32:00] I'm sorry I missed all of that. I was looking at something on the internet. What were you looking at? I can't say yet.
[00:32:07] Okay is it a secret? Sorry I gotta check this call. No you don't. This is absolutely not. I apologize.
[00:32:13] This is you do not have to take this call. I think he does. Who is it? I'm getting it. He picks it up. You've been selected for an entry.
[00:32:25] Guys you never believe it. I got a free fucking. I'm gonna cruise. I got a cruise. This is your captain speaking.
[00:32:34] Press one to be connected with one of our first mates. What percentage of people do you think falls for that? It's low but it's gotta be a couple.
[00:32:41] It's just old people. I did the call chase bank the other day. I dialed one number wrong. I got another place that's like thank you for calling the bank.
[00:32:52] It's like please enter your credit card number. That's incredible. Yeah the whole business is just preying on old people with bad eyes. I love it dude.
[00:33:03] Damn yeah yeah salute. Uh salute to the opportunistic out there. Who is that Adam?
[00:33:09] It was my daddy. Yeah yeah yeah. It's just nothing important. Did he did his big surgery? I talked to her before I came here. I said I'm gonna do the podcast.
[00:33:20] Then he called and I thought it was some sort of emergency but it wasn't. It was about something he saw in Huffington Post.
[00:33:29] There's an article on here. That was like well I'm gay. And then he starts reading it to me and I'm like we're recording right. And he's like well then you go. You go.
[00:33:42] What was the article about? About how Americans don't want to vote. He's really taking advantage of his emergency phone call privileges. He really is.
[00:33:52] He's really crying first. He knows that too. He understands texting. That must be nice. I don't think my father can read. Yeah. I mean I guess you can read. I don't know if my dad. I don't think he finished.
[00:34:09] What is Greek that's just like fake? It's like Delta's. Gammas. Yep. Alpha. It's kind of an army style. Epsilon.
[00:34:20] You know alphabet. Yeah. His dad's just like Delta. I'm a pro. I'm a god. Spider. Thank God. Johnny.
[00:34:41] That's just the whole language. You guys jacked up for whiskey Cavalier. What's that? One's in the FBI. One's in the CIA. Yeah. And they suck each other. Oh, I saw the fucking trailer for that. I just looks horrible. It's just some some TV show. It's like a weird procedural.
[00:34:59] It's like who is still watching this shit? Yeah. Every show on CBS is named after a branch of the government. NCIS. There's like an FBI. I think they just started FBI. Really?
[00:35:11] Yeah. Can I be honest? It did take a while to get an FBI show. I think they've had them before. But I think that they've just gotten less and less creative with the names.
[00:35:20] I think burn notice might have been FBI. I never watched that. He burn notice. He's CIA. He's a former CIA. Yeah. Mm. Um, where they call him Spooks. Spooks. Yeah. Was there black? No, isn't that? Yeah. It's an old race racial. Don't they seriously call them that?
[00:35:40] I think they call them Spooks. But I also do know that that was like a 1950s racial. So interesting. That's interesting because you're racist just like ghost. It's true. It seemed to make sense. They were like, it's time to spook back, boys. It's just spook back the night. It's time to be scary. Time to be spooky. I got pissed real bad. You know, I better get pissing that dunk. No, I guess I could pissing that dunk and donuts. Cup. Just be just be a person. Yeah. Pissing Adam. No, I first.
[00:36:09] The water. Drink my glass of water. What are cup? The hard are. That's the answer. Water. Hard are. That's the question and the answer. I'm just using this music outside. No. So I was playing Dulsa. Salsa. Dulsa. It's kind of like more like.
[00:36:29] Banda. Yeah. She writes for a house on Minaj. Yeah. Damn, you're really going in on. No, no, no, no, no. They already figured out who that is, by the way. Oh, I don't care. Yeah.
[00:36:41] I would go in on her, but she's apparently like 12. Yeah, she's like 20 years old. So nice. Who gives a show about her? I'm biting my time. For what? For the real, just the real drag. Adam Taco.
[00:36:56] No, you're not. No one with his body type. Just 20 year old college student, female college. Yeah, she's my weight class. Yeah, she is in your weight class.
[00:37:08] Well, the dragging is coming for everybody. Yeah, everyone's going to be there. All of the people that have been doing the dragging will get dropped.
[00:37:15] And except for us, nothing bad will ever happen. Absolutely not will be protected forever because we voted for Bernie Sanders. Daddy will protect.
[00:37:27] Because I like the idea of universal health care. And I think people should be paid more than $4 an hour. Yeah.
[00:37:36] It's a revolution from any claim of being a bad guy, which for the most part I am. Daddy Bernie. I hope you say it was Daddy Bernie. You heard that video. You see that video. The, are you going to cry? Maybe? Maybe shit and come.
[00:37:57] You see this guy that does like a flawless Bernie Sandy. That's awesome. It is like it's just James. No, I don't know who it is, but it's fucking like perfect. Damn.
[00:38:10] It's like shitting and coming. Yeah. Didn't SNL steal a bunch of his jokes or something from his from the Trump Bernie debate? I wouldn't believe that.
[00:38:23] I don't know from fact, but it sounds correct. Yeah. He should have been on SNL. Yeah. So she should have. So should have Anthony like they should have the Akumi hired. But yeah.
[00:38:34] It should have been one one guy's gay and incredibly talented. The guy's racist and incredibly talented.
[00:38:42] You're going to piss your pants. Maybe. Maybe shit and come just like those bankers on Wall Street. The top 1% is stealing all the piss and shit and come to middle class.
[00:38:58] That's good. I don't know. That's like something we shut it out. I don't. It's just as Bernie Sanders takes back shit piss and come.
[00:39:15] Is Joe Biden running for fucking president? I think he is. My man feels everyone's titties on the sneak. Not even on the sneak just on TV.
[00:39:25] Just when he's swearing you into Congress. He's swearing in female congressmen on his balls. Does he? Touch the Bible? He literally like groups like now. What is this malarkey? Stop resisting.
[00:39:40] You guys. You guys. You guys are you were underwear? Yeah, I just heard about this new thing. It's pretty cool. What is that called underwear? Yeah. No, it's yeah. Sort of. It's a little bit. You know, recently I I've gotten out of diapers.
[00:40:03] Well, I didn't need him. I would wear diapers to the bathroom and then pull him down and go to the bathroom as an adult. My name is Anthony. She's from San Fringe. Oh, San Fringe. I'm a vacation. Man, that's not really drawing connections to my brain.
[00:40:21] He doesn't sound like Justin. Doesn't he sound like a doesn't sound like that? Doesn't matter. I'm more used to wear diapers. No, I don't. Yeah, I got my big boy.
[00:40:31] Yeah, the big boy pants. I got him from MacWalden.com. It's it's great. It's actually one of the few websites that still works even with the the entire suite of net nanny software. My mom has installed on the family computer, which is placed on her bed.
[00:40:50] And then the security cameras watching me as I use one of my face one on the screen. Yeah, I pointed at my crotch. There's actually a band around my penis. If I have my penis moves at all, the website is then banned.
[00:41:07] So I can only browse the club Penguin and MacWalden.com. Wow. My favorite underwear website where they believe in smart design and premium fabrics and simple shopping.
[00:41:21] The best. Well, those things. You know, I love shopping online. Most of the time, you know, it's difficult because my mom's there demanding. I don't look at the prices of anything because she doesn't want me to be ruined by capitalism.
[00:41:34] Oh, wow. Really? The back well has such good prices that she's not worried about me being traumatized. Wow, that's how good the prices are. They're great. In fact, the underwear are better than whatever you're wearing right now.
[00:41:45] I'm wearing MacWalden. So it's not even better than that. Oh, you have personal experience? You would say that you were somebody who personally experiences MacWalden.
[00:41:54] I experience my underwear every day. What was your experience like? Oh, it was like when my parents played Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young for me as a baby.
[00:42:07] I felt like, wow, this is so beautiful. I like to say that I think it makes sense. How about Cosby, Stills, Gash that's young?
[00:42:17] That's it. Yeah, it's his band. Wow. Wow. You know, I'll just take it. Damn. If I see it, I'd like it. I'll take it for myself.
[00:42:30] This is my band called Cosby, Stills, Gash that's young. They got a line for all different types of lifestyles.
[00:42:39] Yeah, it makes sense that you like it, Nick, because they have this beautiful anti-microbial silver shit. Look, I love anything that's anti.
[00:42:47] And it keeps your anti-microbial, anti-Semitic, anti-Islamic. Oh, wow, both of those last two.
[00:42:54] Yeah. And I don't really know how that relates to being anti-microbial, but they're a line of silver underwear and shirts that aren't naturally anti-microbial.
[00:43:01] I don't want microbials in this country. Well, you know what microbials are, right? It's cat piss.
[00:43:06] That's really cool. My big problem is that I've got to let in cats from outside and they piss all over my underwear.
[00:43:13] Really? Because they're trying to fuck my girlfriend. The cats are trying to fuck my girlfriend.
[00:43:20] I've got to lock her in the bathroom. Wow. I've got 35 cats in here. They're pissing all over my clothes.
[00:43:26] They're all in heat. Trying to have sex with my girlfriend. And then, you know, my girlfriend's pissing all over my clothes.
[00:43:31] Oh, yeah, because she's got to get her scent. Everything in here smells like piss except my mackerel and underwear.
[00:43:37] Because of the silver. Because it's the silver line of shirts and underwear, which means they eliminate cat piss.
[00:43:43] Wow. You heard it here first, folks. You can piss all over these underwear.
[00:43:49] You grab your cat and rub it against your body until it pisses out of fear.
[00:43:53] And then you go out on the dating scene and try and demand the woman to smell your crotch.
[00:43:58] And she's screaming. But as you push her head down, you go.
[00:44:04] Yeah, yeah, man. You push her head down. You say, does it smell like cat piss? And it won't. I mean, you'll go to jail.
[00:44:14] Look, and they look, Mac won't just want you to be comfortable. All right. That's what I say to these ladies out there on the dating scene.
[00:44:20] Oh, yeah. You know, they want you to be comfortable. So if you don't like your first pair, you can keep it and they'll still refund you.
[00:44:25] That's so nice. No questions asked to call that to Adam Friedland special. Adam keeps using new email addresses.
[00:44:32] I've never been sending it to different friends addresses to get one free bear.
[00:44:38] Yeah. So not only does Mac well underwear, sock shirts look good. They perform well too.
[00:44:43] Because that's more important, you know. That's my biggest problem is that my shit looks good, but it doesn't perform.
[00:44:50] It doesn't work hard anymore. Yeah. We still talk about underwear. Yeah. We're still talking about underwear.
[00:44:56] You know, when you know, that's why I love wearing underwear, I hide my broken day. That's no longer works.
[00:45:03] But they're great. They're good for for working out, going to work, going out on dates, just every day.
[00:45:08] That's right. Yeah. I love every day life. I love that shit. I love doing all those things that I do.
[00:45:13] Going out to work. Going out on the dating scene, showing up to the office and like, John, why are you so happy today?
[00:45:21] You're like, well, I'm wearing fucking underwear. Like what? You want to kiss? Excuse me?
[00:45:29] You're like, I'm sorry, I'm learning office culture. I just got into that show, Mad Men learning how it works.
[00:45:37] So go to macwem.com and get 20% off using promo code, comtown20. Damn. That's C U M T as in Thomas.
[00:45:48] Oh, as in Omega, Omega W as in white. What? And as in nationalism. 20. No.
[00:46:01] That's something else. Not that. Okay. It's come down that C is in Caucasian uprising.
[00:46:10] No, it is. Master. No. This works too well.
[00:46:18] It's freezing. White National. The clues. They were there the whole time. Okay. Yeah.
[00:46:23] Okay. Yeah. Magwell.com's right design premium. Very soon. 20% off using promo code, comtown20. The best. Let's start the show.
[00:46:33] Let's start the show. Finally. Maybe I baby girl. I want to hang out with my friends. Yeah. And have guess X. Uh huh.
[00:46:46] I hope it never ends. Go off. I want to hang out with my friends. Oh, yeah. And have sex with their buttholes. I want to hang out with this original content. Yeah, this is even a very covered.
[00:47:00] And put and put. Fill their butt with marbles. That's pretty cool. Yeah. How many marbles you get in each other's asses?
[00:47:12] How deep does an ass go before you hit the colon? Is that it? Would you hit the back of your cock? Is that what the pro pro state is the back of the ass? It's back of your cock.
[00:47:23] Where's the colon? I guess the ass goes into an intestine kind of thing, right? Hmm. So I guess you can go back to your cock is kind of hard to win. You know what you could fit in an up. You could fit an ass ton.
[00:47:38] Yeah. Is that was it like a metric ton? Yeah. I think I bet we could fit. It's your 12 marbles. If I never have to do math again in the rest of my fucking life, I'll die happy.
[00:47:50] Fuck that shit. I agree. No, I mean, it's fucking bullshit. We got calculators. Yeah, I agree. No, math can suck my hard penis. If I ever ever kid, I'm never helping them with homework. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
[00:48:04] I already did all this shit. You didn't even. I'm sure I did. I don't know. Maybe you should start a podcast. Maybe you're fucking gay French should start a podcast.
[00:48:18] You're gay. Ooh, look at me. I'm in fourth grade. You just go on your podcast. Yeah. I still think you're a fucking baby.
[00:48:28] You just show pictures of him as a baby. Look at you, you fucking baby. You fucking dumb baby.
[00:48:36] Fucking stupid baby. Trying to take a bath. That'd be awesome, dude. I think I fucking traumatized your fucking son.
[00:48:47] Yeah, I'm not gonna let my kid bathe. Yeah. He's wearing clothes from day one until he's adult. Until he grows it. Yeah.
[00:48:56] I'm my parents. They didn't let me bathe ever. And as a result, I never developed body odor. I've never sweat once in my life.
[00:49:06] My parents were kind of sports adverse. They thought they were too scary for me. San Francisco.
[00:49:15] Yeah, well, you know, they're just the concept of a touchdown really bothered my mom.
[00:49:19] Everything was off limits and down. Represented the volatility of up and down, which was not allowed in our house.
[00:49:26] It was a rancher. There was one story. No one was allowed to jump. Right. Or reach for anything on this top shelf.
[00:49:34] Yeah, I remember for one of my birthdays, my mom's boss's son, who was the only friend I was a mother.
[00:49:42] I came over and he brought a Jack and Jill picture book in my mother to a fit about the hill in there.
[00:49:51] Nobody should know about this. About these kinds of things. What happened when you found out the truth?
[00:49:58] Oh, I mean, I think I handled it fine. I think maybe she was overreacting.
[00:50:04] It's like a couple of years ago I got raped. I mean, that was, you know, it's pretty rough, but I got through it.
[00:50:14] I mean, to him, that would just be like finding out Twizzlers exist. It's just like...
[00:50:20] What a twizz thing in the world. Oh, no.
[00:50:22] Your mom didn't tell you about it. I'm erasing that. That one was just a draft. He did get raped.
[00:50:28] Yeah, okay. All right. That's in like the alternate universe.
[00:50:33] Yeah, I'm not really feeling the San Frangelico guy today. Sorry, man.
[00:50:38] No, that was good. The thing about hills. Yeah, I think that's two. And up and down.
[00:50:42] It's two on the nose. And that's just the plot of the giver.
[00:50:46] Is it? Yeah. No, they don't know colors. They don't know colors, but they also don't know any kind of gradation.
[00:50:52] Really? Yeah, there's no hills. Remember, he leaves town and then there's hills in here.
[00:50:57] I don't remember the giver. Yes, and describe what a fucking hill is.
[00:50:59] Does anyone get pussy in the giver? He wants to fuck Fiona. And I remember being horny for Fiona when I was a...
[00:51:06] We... Yeah, girl's track. Girl's track, dude.
[00:51:09] When I was gay and we... Oh, we remember that.
[00:51:14] That parents. When we were gay and we... In the giver, he has parents, right?
[00:51:19] Yeah. So they fuck, you would think. I think, yeah, you're allowed to fuck once, but then they're also like a boarding, a bunch of people.
[00:51:27] Remember that? They killed the old people, right?
[00:51:30] Yeah. Because that were being set free. I don't know. We should ask fucking Ralph.
[00:51:36] That's still... Dude, when I saw that and knowing that it was like without like...
[00:51:44] Just not a drop of fucking irony. He has his favorite books listed as the giver, and then fucking one fish, two fish, red fish, blue.
[00:51:56] The giver is like, as advanced as a reading, every time. That was the most advanced book.
[00:52:00] Yeah. And he put that on there and be like, yeah, I'll let bitches know I'm like deep sometimes.
[00:52:06] Sometimes I, you know, I might have a little intellectual ass afternoon and read a book that was assigned in fifth grade.
[00:52:14] Dude, I miss being a smart fifth grader.
[00:52:16] Do you? Yeah. There was something nice about it. Like reading the giver and being, and it being appropriate to blow my mind.
[00:52:22] I was never smart. I was like a potential kid where they did the fucking, they would like take dumb kids and be like, you have potential.
[00:52:29] And then you could just go up to the smart kids and be like, do you hear that? I'm as smart as you. I just don't know how to do it either work.
[00:52:42] I remember a kid like that, this kid Dion, he was that kid.
[00:52:45] I was a little fucking nerd, dude, reading the giver being like, damn.
[00:52:48] Did you have a smart track program thing in fifth grade?
[00:52:54] I was in gate and they literally shielded us. Our school was so bad. Both of our city schools are so bad.
[00:53:25] Dude, me and my friends spoke so much to me watching Billy Madison.
[00:53:28] Dude, we got so high, we watched Big Mouth on Netflix.
[00:53:35] Yo, have you ever heard of fucking dubs?
[00:53:38] Getting a dub bag and fucking hitting the blaze.
[00:53:47] I wrote a play when I was in gate which, in retrospect, was highly, um, was kind of, could have been construed as racist.
[00:53:56] I still don't know how to process the fact that there was a child there that entire time.
[00:54:03] No, that doesn't exist, dude. Those kids, like, children have memories.
[00:54:09] Just because of his, like, situation overall.
[00:54:15] Do you think that was the moment the baby realized it was in a bad situation?
[00:54:20] He'll realize when he's, like, 30 and he can't have a functional relationship because his family life is so bad.
[00:54:28] Yeah, because none of that money's going to be left.
[00:54:33] That guy's just going to be in, like, some bar in fucking Delaware County.
[00:54:37] People are going to be like, all right, wasn't your dad, Bam, Marjara?
[00:54:54] I thought you meant April from the turtles.
[00:54:57] The whole Jackass family's going to step up.
[00:55:07] That's another thing we talk about quite a nice amount.
[00:55:13] I feel like we talk about Secret of the Ews a bunch.
[00:55:19] They're like, whoa, nothing feels good.
[00:55:22] I guess we don't need to be ninjas anymore.
[00:55:32] It's like, you must remember your training.
[00:55:36] You know, I've tried some of this splinter, and then splinterfogs is like, too old to fuck.
[00:55:41] But she can spit on it and then jerk it off.
[00:55:45] Imagine me like the guy that has to like date April after that.
[00:56:03] I make all my money selling fucking shares of a company that literally murders African shit.
[00:56:08] You know, I'd start doing cocaine at 7 a.m.
[00:56:13] Things have changed a lot since the 60s.
[00:56:16] You know, I don't expect you to be my mom per se, but you fucked the turtle for other
[00:56:33] They talked like he was from Bensonhurst for some reason.
[00:56:37] I mean, I think David over laughing at that one time.
[00:56:40] The turtles are like surf set, bro, except for like Michael Angelo.
[00:56:50] They're all from California except the one of them who's from Bay Ridge.
[00:57:02] I thought a raffy sounded sounded like a gweed.
[00:57:15] Who's your favorite of the painters that the ninja turtles were
[00:57:25] I mean, I guess some of them are sculptors.
[00:57:28] It's funny because it's like the artist raffy.
[00:57:34] Michael Angela was the only one that wasn't usurped by the
[00:57:38] The rest of them, no one remembers who they are.
[00:57:41] Da Vinci wasn't a fucking, oh, Leonardo.
[00:57:45] Donatello, no one knows who fucked that.
[00:58:04] It's just a guy named Raphael who sculpted shit.
[00:58:07] I will say, I fuck with sculpture, dude.
[00:58:19] With one of those indoor pools that's got steam coming off of it.
[00:58:24] And then I sit in there and then somebody comes in and I go,
[00:58:28] And then they shoot me with a silencer in the pool.
[00:59:05] What I want is that cool fucking Spanish revival Tony's mansion.
[00:59:17] Like John Houston's place in Chinatown?
[00:59:19] Well, what I do, Mr. Guittis, is I fuck my daughter.
[00:59:26] And somehow that makes me the head of the water and power department.
[00:59:36] People think I'm respectable because I'm old.
[01:00:03] I don't know if it's three and a half hours.
[01:00:07] We should watch Rosemary's baby in Chinatown.
[01:00:11] I watched Rosemary's baby recently for the first time.
[01:00:30] And then she's got scratches all over herself the next morning.
[01:00:33] And her husband goes, she's like, what happened?
[01:00:36] He's like, oh, I fucked you while you were sleeping.
[01:00:39] But really, there is an evil, like, seance that took place.
[01:00:50] And the cover story was that he raped that life.
[01:00:54] We've talked about that on the pot before.
[01:01:21] And everyone's like, stopping such a fucking dumb bitch.
[01:01:26] Well, we got a jet over to the live show, fellas.
[01:01:37] Same fucking, you know, but they were used to it.
[01:01:44] That'd be to be gay that you would listen to Batman.
[01:01:51] You're just trying to like turn it down as low as possible.
[01:01:55] People are like, hey, what the hell is Clark doing?
[01:02:02] God, I don't even, I wish there was a word for guys who have sex with each other because
[01:02:07] But that hasn't even been invented yet.
[01:02:09] They call them, do they call him funny?
[01:02:20] Was there a porno on the radio where they're like, you've been being like, oh yeah.
[01:02:26] Also, since this is going up on the radio.
[01:02:31] I'm in Chicago on the 22nd and Milwaukee the 23rd.