Cum Town | Regular | 04/11/2019
[00:00:00] Every time I go to get my haircut they end up fucking my ass.
[00:00:06] They fuck me and my ass every time I go.
[00:00:10] Oh yeah hit that record we got a new guy dude.
[00:00:19] Why is it that when I get my haircut I live in my ass fuck.
[00:00:24] They said they have to put their scissors in my ass.
[00:00:35] Salute to the gullible African man getting I guess raped at the barbershop every time.
[00:00:46] Once again I hate to have to bring this up again but if I'm going to keep getting messages
[00:01:02] Listen it sounds like people are standing up for me.
[00:01:05] But no is not a chimp or it is a chimp.
[00:01:08] Remember your conversation about the great apes.
[00:01:18] Actually we'll use fast and furious as an example.
[00:01:33] Yeah if you say there's seven fast and furious movies.
[00:01:41] If you say no you say there's seven different fast and furious movies.
[00:01:44] One two three four five six seven and Tokyo drift.
[00:01:48] And it's like well Tokyo drift is three.
[00:01:53] But what I'm saying is we're talking about the great apes.
[00:02:01] And outside of humans like what you're you're looking at gorillas.
[00:02:16] But those are four genera under the family.
[00:02:22] Now underneath the genus there's three different extant species of orangutans.
[00:02:30] There's two species of gorilla with like four or five different subspecies.
[00:02:36] And then under chimpanzee there's also several subspecies.
[00:02:43] Bonobos and common chimpanzees yes are different species.
[00:02:48] But if you're talking about the great apes and you say chimps you're referring in the
[00:02:53] general to the genera of pan which is chimps.
[00:03:00] So to say well to say bonobos are chimps is one million percent accurate.
[00:03:08] And if you disagree with that you're a fucking asshole.
[00:03:11] If you agree Nick I'm going to say that.
[00:03:30] You want to try and force some positivity.
[00:03:32] Why are you saying I don't agree with that?
[00:03:37] You know that I was just doing that as a as a light rib.
[00:03:50] I've been at home massaging my gums all day long.
[00:03:53] Because you know I know you had serious gum procedures.
[00:03:59] Nick has been doing this spitting this through the wire the last week.
[00:04:04] I got my I hurt my gums spitting at Arabs.
[00:04:10] I hurt my gums breaking up the boy dances.
[00:04:15] I'm going to stand outside the ground zero mosque and I spit at Arabs.
[00:04:22] I'm not going to stand here and have people tell me I don't deserve discounts at the
[00:04:27] I don't have a military ID ma'am where you have a war on terror.
[00:04:34] It's a stateless enemy and I'm a stateless era.
[00:04:47] Does this count and then I starts just waving that.
[00:04:51] We even that sword around the movie theater until they let me in to Captain.
[00:05:11] I don't remember seeing any girls in my army.
[00:05:16] There weren't any girl captains in my army.
[00:05:31] I'm coming around on that chimp anobo thing.
[00:05:35] If you're a gums hurt I actually have a small.
[00:05:52] It's a weird little bit compared to other medical devices like an MRI machine.
[00:05:59] But compared to something let's say randomly like a human penis.
[00:06:05] I can't wait to have the money to get an MRI every single day.
[00:06:11] Just to be as healthy as possible every day getting x-rays and cats.
[00:06:14] Yeah I'm going to sleep in one of those all day long.
[00:06:18] Yeah I'm making sure nothing fucking out of your organs.
[00:06:20] Yes just constantly having x-rays going through my body.
[00:06:26] I just have a machine hooked up in my head.
[00:06:31] It's constantly monitoring for any kind of problem.
[00:06:35] You can have an app that goes to your phone.
[00:06:38] I'm just wearing 600 pounds worth of equipment, gear as a viewer.
[00:06:45] The whole time a slight buzz happening.
[00:06:48] This things are cool because they're scary.
[00:07:09] Did your dad think you had pain or something?
[00:07:11] I said I had an atom out of tummy ache.
[00:07:14] You had to get $40,000 worth of medical tests.
[00:07:22] My parents took me to Cedar sign at the most Jewish hospital in the you know six and a half
[00:07:28] hour drive but there's a missus on every door so it made us feel safe.
[00:07:39] It's so the Nazis know where the Jews are.
[00:08:01] They come quick and they don't expect a tip.
[00:08:07] They've learned every time you don't tip.
[00:08:14] I was under the impression you weren't familiar with.
[00:08:18] Now I have to question the authenticity of the Chinese food itself.
[00:08:39] Dude, I was packed in that motherfucker like a little fat sausage.
[00:08:45] They have to slam it against the countertop to get you out.
[00:08:50] They tipped it upside down and hit the top.
[00:08:52] My parents actually gave me an MRI for being gay.
[00:09:02] And your asshole to see if they can come.
[00:09:13] No, what's the shit they do to pregnant lady?
[00:09:20] Yeah, they give your asshole an ultrasound.
[00:09:26] It's actually something that turns me on sexually is the gel on a pregnant stomach.
[00:09:38] I got all gelled up by some Middle Eastern woman.
[00:09:41] It was a hot, it was a hot young doctor.
[00:09:49] I was like, sorry, my titties are so large.
[00:09:51] And he's like, sir, my husband watches me at work.
[00:09:58] He makes sure that these doesn't happen.
[00:10:08] What it was what barking or is to the camera.
[00:10:20] She was like, wow, this 30 year old man that's making sure he's not his heart isn't too
[00:10:31] This is pretty cool that you have an enlarged heart.
[00:10:40] I thought I had like maybe I had like, I don't know.
[00:10:44] I don't remember what the fuck it was, but I don't have my shit's normal.
[00:10:53] I've been using that shit, but they have a lot of bullshit as doctors.
[00:10:58] Well, do you just yeah, it does sound Israeli.
[00:11:00] Israelis come up with the shittiest names for business.
[00:11:10] There is a zip zap rental a bit boo boo boo.
[00:11:19] This is really yeah sounds as I have to BDS it and not use.
[00:11:22] No, you can't get around it because Google bought it.
[00:11:25] So they use the ways technology and Google Maps anyway.
[00:11:28] Fuck you got a BDS your way back into the shitty Apple Rand McNally.
[00:11:37] I used to print out directions on random.
[00:11:39] You didn't use map quests like a normal person.
[00:11:43] If like the Holocaust happened now and the train driver was like using ways to fit.
[00:11:52] It's like, I'm just trying to avoid traffic.
[00:11:58] There's a cop at the corner that'll slow down.
[00:12:05] Your boy BB was saying he's going to fucking just snatch up Palestine.
[00:12:10] He said it's not just the parts that we've stolen.
[00:12:13] Oh, not the whole thing, but just the parts we've stolen.
[00:12:16] And by we, I mean, they are not me at all.
[00:12:24] You got sucked off by that Russian ship.
[00:12:25] I got sucked off in the Golan Heights too.
[00:12:33] They're putting up a memorial to where you got sucked off by a Russian prostitute.
[00:12:36] I busted on some titties in the Golan Heights.
[00:12:39] And then I wrote Donald Trump a letter to President Trump as a lad.
[00:12:44] I busted on this girl, Rebecca's titties.
[00:12:47] Oh, a girl, your age, not just the prostitute?
[00:12:51] You did get sucked off by that Russian woman with braces.
[00:12:53] I got a condom blow job when I was 19 from what, in retrospect, was a sex slave.
[00:12:59] But I didn't know the political ramifications.
[00:13:02] I thought it was just a Russian woman living in Israel.
[00:13:07] You were just doing it all entirely working at a strip club called Pussycat.
[00:13:24] Honestly, if that was, if those were the orders I got, she had braces and she had a necklace
[00:13:35] And I honestly think like four and a half sucks with a condom on.
[00:13:50] Condom blowjob is one of the stupid stupid stupid stupid people.
[00:13:51] That's a vibrating, that's a vibrating, like adolescent penis.
[00:14:04] You also let me touch her, her just incredibly hard breasts.
[00:14:11] Just as if some sort of doctor put rocks in her breasts.
[00:14:24] The Palestinian child touches them and he gets shot to death by the eye.
[00:14:33] Have you ever gotten sucked off with a condom at a different time in your life?
[00:14:55] I used to use a dental dam for kissing.
[00:14:59] Nick, have you ever gotten a condom blowjob?
[00:15:10] Sorry, some of us have been at war since 9-8.
[00:15:18] We haven't had any fucking shore leave when you're in the Army of One.
[00:15:23] It's just constantly spitting at Arabs.
[00:15:27] Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,
[00:15:36] If you can't get in, you can just hang out at ground zero and spit it out.
[00:15:55] If you get four aft, maybe you can just hang out at ground zero and...
[00:16:05] I like the idea of not just ground zero, but like a guy going to just a different Muslim
[00:16:09] country just had nothing to do with it.
[00:16:17] They don't even look the same Indonesians.
[00:16:20] It's like, what are all these Chinese people doing at a mosque?
[00:16:35] Oh yeah, it's Thailand, but it's a good ass movie.
[00:16:39] You think this guy just had an Hongbok transplant?
[00:16:48] Yeah, my girlfriend just had an operation.
[00:16:52] I said, yeah, what kind of operations you have?
[00:17:08] Cut her penis off and turn it into a facsimile vagina made out of pieces of her asshole?
[00:17:24] What does your asshole look like now, man?
[00:17:27] Well, I remember learning in elementary school that if you stretched out the human,
[00:17:32] a small intestine would wrap around the world four times.
[00:17:36] So they cut the asshole off and then...
[00:17:37] If we just sacrificed one man, we could make enough vaginas for every trans person in the
[00:17:45] I'm sorry, what was that number four times around the world?
[00:17:57] Well, then let's kill a guy, chop up his ass cheeks.
[00:18:01] And then see if we can make some pussies.
[00:18:05] Nobody wants to know how the pussy is made.
[00:18:12] Nobody wants a little piece of pussy pie.
[00:18:19] Somebody has this economy that has a story about fucking some girl on the road and then
[00:18:24] the entire time they were like, this is just not a vagina.
[00:18:35] Oh, here's a little bit of a Native reporter.
[00:18:38] If you go to Thailand, apparently they do a good job.
[00:18:40] It's like when you're in a bank that used to be a pizza hut.
[00:18:43] You're like, no, if I should be putting my money.
[00:18:48] This doesn't seem like a legitimate organization.
[00:18:55] Can you get like a column or something?
[00:18:58] They're still wearing the uniforms piece.
[00:19:05] Apparently, if you're looking for a good fresh new Puss, Thailand, you get a great deal.
[00:19:13] They have medical tourism for plastic pussies.
[00:19:17] I'm going to Ukraine and getting fucking like bicep and Jack.
[00:19:22] Oh, that guy, the guy looks like Popeye?
[00:19:26] I just show up and I got like 37 inch four.
[00:19:32] He looks like someone put titties in his arm.
[00:19:36] Well, my apologies for being insanely strong.
[00:19:44] I'm sorry you weaklings with your arms that don't look like fucking sea cups.
[00:19:51] Adam, how did you find out about Pussies being on discount?
[00:19:54] Oh, I've been, you know, I've just JD Power and Associates.
[00:19:57] I've been in comparison shopping a little bit.
[00:20:01] Now that seems funny to me because it seems like Thailand from the videos that I've seen.
[00:20:05] How about Jade off powers and associates?
[00:20:12] They said this is the best truck of the year.
[00:20:15] Some guy that beats off in the friends.
[00:20:21] If you have the name JD Power, people just listen to you.
[00:20:25] That's some guy that's like, yeah, I made these little like caliper awards.
[00:20:28] They just hand out to what do they for?
[00:20:35] Who said we got the best Dodge Durango to meet off in?
[00:20:44] Jade Power is American, based global marketing information services.
[00:20:49] Jade, founded by James David Power III.
[00:21:18] Initially, the associates were in the firm's title were his own wife and children.
[00:21:30] Respect to JD Power for finessing the world.
[00:21:32] Get this though, in 1972, the company drew national attention when his bitch discovered
[00:21:37] a design flaw in certain Mazda automobiles.
[00:21:40] Is that what the Wikipedia article says?
[00:21:43] So I guess it's the cunt that he was married to is actually responsible for the success
[00:21:49] So this man who achieved so much, it was actually a fluke because this is dumb broad.
[00:22:10] And then it's like, honey, this is a 1968 back when everyone was Don Draper.
[00:22:18] I'm gonna have my bitch look at blueprints.
[00:22:25] His associates were literally his wife and she Adam was listening.
[00:22:32] Their only job is to take part in this conversation.
[00:22:42] Oh, this guy's this guy's life is awesome.
[00:22:47] She only she only figured out one thing and then from then I was like, all right, let's
[00:22:52] He served four years as a line officer above the Coast Guard icebreaker USCGC Eastwood in
[00:23:04] I'll go to the Algory and article right now and I'll have sex with some penguins.
[00:23:11] So his job was to go create a little warm.
[00:23:17] He was just fucking spraying his hair down with extra fucking sprays.
[00:23:21] He was setting off fucking gasoline fires.
[00:23:28] They go up to the North Pole and they're like so.
[00:23:39] There are ships that like of course we should know where it's going at and we're comedians.
[00:23:46] Let him say the first one then riff off it, man.
[00:23:52] Icebreakers are ships that go up into the Arctic.
[00:24:03] Dude, Nick probably knows about those things.
[00:24:08] I just wanted to get his take on something that I didn't know about.
[00:24:13] Presumably so other like ships can fucking go through like submarines could go through
[00:24:19] What but a submarine could go under the ice?
[00:24:29] We're gonna complain about fucking global warming and then there's ice that you can't
[00:24:44] That's like one of my dick pops out of my pajama pants.
[00:24:48] Here comes Mr. Submarine doing some cool shit.
[00:24:55] That's the first time I ever knew what an erection was was I was wearing pajama pants
[00:25:03] And my dad like turned around and he saw that I had a boner coming out of my pajama pants.
[00:25:10] Yeah, I was like in third or fourth grade.
[00:25:15] And then my dad just shouted, Joanne, he's got an erection.
[00:25:19] Then then they rush to the hospital to get an MRI.
[00:25:40] They're like, no, that's just as big as it's going to get.
[00:25:43] That wasn't as big as it was going to get.
[00:25:44] Just the record for anyone that's listening and thinks Nick may be doing a funny bit.
[00:26:12] My dick's probably like three inches soft.
[00:26:23] My dick goes into my body like a turtle.
[00:26:31] My dick is probably, like I said, a thirsty 5.75 when it's hard.
[00:26:39] I think what we're told is the average room.
[00:26:44] Perving to the left and coming up just slightly.
[00:27:24] But yeah, I just get like sharp chest pains.
[00:27:27] That's something they created because they eat so much lasagna and shit.
[00:27:31] So what Italians have is a heart disease.
[00:27:38] We know Nick's got a disease of the heart.
[00:27:48] I would think, I mean, I don't know shit about submarines, but I wouldn't do that because
[00:27:52] it's like, well, what if you need to come up for air?
[00:27:54] Because everybody's got a thing with no, they got to hold their breath.
[00:28:01] Oh, he got re-goes into everyone else's mouth.
[00:28:03] The guy looks at the baron scobe and goes, all right, everybody.
[00:28:08] And then they all just have to hold their breath down there.
[00:28:40] And she's they put her in like a slut outfit.
[00:28:42] They shrink her clothes and down Periscope.
[00:28:47] Oh, and she just has to wear those clothes for the rest of the movie?
[00:28:52] When movies find plot ways to just show more titties.
[00:28:57] I like doing movies that are brave enough to shrink bitches clothes.
[00:29:02] Not like today when you can't even fucking say anything.
[00:29:06] Now they have to be the fucking captain of Marvel.
[00:29:10] My biggest problem with Captain Marvel, I couldn't see her pussy at all.
[00:29:14] And she, you know what my biggest problem was?
[00:29:20] Your female superhero should do a tour in the IDF.
[00:29:24] To know what it's like to be a real life hero.
[00:29:27] How about a character, a Gal Gadot head?
[00:29:37] A trained child to Palestinian sniper has a has a scope on her.
[00:29:50] And she's it's Gal Gadot, but she gives people head.
[00:29:53] I don't know why you said she's Indian.
[00:30:00] Because because Indian people have a bindi sometimes.
[00:30:04] How does that relate to Gal Gadot head?
[00:30:09] There's a term that people use sometimes for salvation.
[00:30:19] Can we go around disrespecting the bindi?
[00:30:22] Nick, can you please for the good of our listeners edit that out?
[00:30:27] Yeah, we gotta put the time stamp out down.
[00:30:28] In fact, we're just going to let people know that if you want to take bets on whether
[00:30:43] But my bad is that I also betting that I won't.
[00:31:12] But the guy who bets the most money gets all of it.
[00:31:36] We're hosted by me and my two friends, and we all share names in women per socialism.
[00:31:52] The premier gaming website for polygamous socialists.
[00:31:57] If you like busting and betting, busting, betting, busting, betting, burning your bust, bet
[00:32:08] Bust on Bernie, bet the I fuck that shit.
[00:32:30] If you have a mobile fucking interface.
[00:32:36] The mobile playing of somebody explained it to me.
[00:32:40] They just have a website that works on your phone.
[00:32:50] I thought we would say every fucking business.
[00:33:00] I didn't do anything with it, but it is on my phone.
[00:33:16] No, it's been a business of the 20 years.
[00:33:23] I guess I've just been saying that for years.
[00:33:28] My bitch found some flaw on a gambling website.
[00:33:32] I just go around diners and show my watch to the waitress.
[00:33:53] The D and bet the aside stands for the same D from J.D.
[00:34:12] And he's, listen, my bitch does most of the fixing.
[00:34:20] I kind of go around and I just play peekaboo with these diners.
[00:34:36] They don't even clean the come out of the sheets.
[00:34:49] But I bring these diners, these places, squares, squares, diners.
[00:35:01] All of that comes from me jerkin Oh there, I beat off the owners though.
[00:35:04] I own the fuckIn one of these dinerswaiterxy Stim who's making sure my empire stays flash
[00:35:21] They offer my hogs on pretty much everything else.
[00:35:26] sports politics yeah I love just betting on politics
[00:35:31] I'm too too man Pete Butt edge edge yeah is that how you pronounce it but edge
[00:35:36] but it's but it's but it's but it's just Pete but sex but is it you called him
[00:35:41] that isn't pointing out that but is in his name yes pretty good and he's gay
[00:35:45] to literally yeah imagine what what's next a guy named Pete penis and vagina
[00:35:52] gig and he's straight this whole thing is that he's straight as a straight
[00:35:59] candidate anyways but the aside offers eyes on pretty much everything else
[00:36:08] major sports politics reality TV scripted TV you get better whether or not the
[00:36:15] PJ's are coming back you know be cool to do a clay nation show for children
[00:36:22] yeah right and it's hard for years most successful show and then it after it's
[00:36:29] been on for years it comes out that all all of the clay was actually shit
[00:36:34] and come so children were just looking at shit and come that would be good yeah
[00:36:40] is it abusive if they have to look at it well yes I guess yeah people would not
[00:36:45] be happy but no no but you know what why not why not it doesn't matter if
[00:36:51] anything you you're you're not wasting precious material it was passed out
[00:36:56] yeah but my bitch just found out that the the clay on Sesame Street's just a
[00:37:02] bunch of shit and cold that's another 30 years for JD power my friends yeah my
[00:37:08] bitch loves finding shit out they offer live in-game wager plays throughout
[00:37:15] the entire game and events here's what we're gonna be betting on this week
[00:37:19] folks Janice I did the kumba for the MVP fuck James Harden you probably won't
[00:37:25] get good odds on either one of them but bet your whole life savings on Janice
[00:37:30] and you know what they're going to the fucking NBA finals and they're gonna beat
[00:37:33] the fucking Warriors yeah I bet I bet that's true
[00:37:39] anyways when you sign up make sure you use promo code come 120 that's CUM 120
[00:37:44] one two zero so they don't be said you when you sign up you've got some
[00:37:47] options you can just play and cash out or you can take the bonus money which is
[00:37:51] like getting a casino comp up front before you've played at the tables that's
[00:37:55] right how cool is that I love getting that you walk into the casino you know
[00:38:00] and you're you know you guys are gas digital listeners you just of course
[00:38:04] yeah your best Stewie Griffin Joker shirt on
[00:38:10] chugging a fucking rock sorry they walk right up there give you a free free
[00:38:15] Sierra missed vodka your drink of choice yo let me get a Sierra in seven seven
[00:38:24] up and see her miss no my body turns it into alcohol yeah my insulin so fucked
[00:38:31] up then when I drink two sodas it wants it to get fucked up off
[00:38:40] that's you that's you getting casino combo from every plate of the table
[00:38:44] as a rollover requirement but it's free cash if you're gonna be in the
[00:38:47] sportsbook which is where we like the game love that if you promo code come
[00:38:50] 120 up to a thousand dollars are gonna give you 60% bonus cash return a thousand
[00:38:54] in the 1600 to play with so once again that's bet the aside I call it
[00:38:57] yes I dot com come 120 let's start the show
[00:39:02] small bad about bad bad it's time for what is that song is that the time and
[00:39:08] dollars page team no I don't remember but I'm
[00:39:11] getting there's a dvp I think it was no dude you know what he's a two-day yoga
[00:39:19] gdp yoga brother what a weird character because his name was diamond Dallas page
[00:39:25] but he's some guy from Jersey is he yeah he's not he's not a fucking wrestler
[00:39:30] or he's not a Dallas guy at all no it wasn't a text like George W. Bush damn
[00:39:35] imagine like the disappointment naming your son Dallas page and thinking he's
[00:39:38] gonna grow up to be a thick bottom and gay
[00:39:43] that's why you would name it of course having be like a fat ass twink yeah Dallas
[00:39:51] Dallas big goes cruising for for crackhead dick in downtown oh yeah he's the
[00:39:58] hairless except he's got a nice line of air in his asshole that's his his New
[00:40:03] Jersey father Anthony Scalamucci Anthony Googlya je jjamba doo goo yeah my name's
[00:40:16] Anthony this good this come on by Joe do goo lea ba ba lea ba the Jambajita
[00:40:24] this is my son Dallas page my boy is gonna grow up to be a thick bottom
[00:40:31] good take a fucking cock like you're never seen
[00:40:34] suck dick on video for fucking drugs yeah saw that movie party monster and I
[00:40:41] said to myself that's gonna be my fucking boy that's gonna be my son it's
[00:40:47] gonna be a party so do I'm gonna be a fucking party monster fucking monster
[00:40:54] the party that you ain't a kid huh yeah just yelling at a toddler I don't
[00:40:59] gonna tell you guy read think party monster party monster that sounds fucking
[00:41:03] awesome I can't wait to see this fucking movie this guy so much fucking push
[00:41:09] always to talk a movie about guys like us probably about a guy's hanging out
[00:41:15] fucking drinking I'm sure you're watching the fucking game you know oh fucking
[00:41:20] solo cups you play and be a part it's gonna be a fucking awesome oh my fucking
[00:41:25] god oh my god I can't wait to watch fucking party monster I can't wait to
[00:41:34] see how fucking much I'm like the guy in the movie it's fucking yeah about
[00:41:41] studio 64 no it's about gay guys like killing themselves with too much sex
[00:41:46] yeah mccollie coghins a gay guy's that fuck each other to death yeah literally
[00:41:51] yeah they fuck each other they fuck each other than one kills the other this
[00:41:56] movie is gonna be fucking great be fucking some good shit I can't wait to
[00:42:00] see fucking potty minds fuck yeah yeah they got I would try this watch that
[00:42:12] movie potty monster was a bunch of fig bullshit anyways I got this other
[00:42:18] movie is pretty good it's called Paris's burning but it's about burning up a
[00:42:23] bunch of queas over there in France that's what I need to cleanse my palette
[00:42:28] after that mislabel body monster movie is a hate crime all right watch all
[00:42:37] these queas get a fucking hopefully the bunch of silly on I was taking a fucking
[00:42:41] flamper on a virus watching something cool and then he said to watch us the
[00:42:47] entire thing when are they going to Paris what are they gonna put these fucking
[00:42:53] guys in Paris and burn them this is worse than potty monster hell yeah I got
[00:43:06] this movie boys don't cry I bet it couple of Jersey boys like me a couple of new
[00:43:14] Jersey fellas we're gonna truck in the tough they don't have a cry about
[00:43:25] yo I'm not watching the fucking movies no more
[00:43:46] I can't wait for potty monster you fucking pussy get animals at this party
[00:43:53] it's like fucking a frat movie oh yeah the devil wears Prada I bet it's about a
[00:44:02] cool guy loves Italian clothes a fucking New Jersey devil a regular New Jersey
[00:44:10] devil hanging out wearing cool clothes and get what the fuck is this
[00:44:17] Stanley Tucci's a fucking traitor yeah they got a fucking Italian Stanley Tucci
[00:44:33] I've never heard of him but I can't wait to see what he does probably foxes for
[00:44:40] young bride and a fucking old bride at the same time trying to think about other
[00:44:44] day I know call me by your name but then we light yeah nothing really work no
[00:44:53] yeah moonlight would be like watch that movie moonlight was exactly what I
[00:44:58] expected exactly what I don't would be they put it right there right there in
[00:45:04] the tight you know full moon maybe I think they'd straight but moonlight
[00:45:13] a bunch of cool things out the moon holding each other's head when it's dark
[00:45:20] outside broke back mountain but I'm but the pink thing sounds pretty gay yeah
[00:45:28] I don't know that I don't know that I broke back man
[00:45:32] but the bum bum well well well what is that that is a wrestling thing I thought
[00:45:37] it was down my mouth my mouth my mouth man that Jimmy Hendrix oh who you said
[00:45:44] someone used to come out to use that yeah maybe that was right off on the
[00:45:47] mountain well I said we should do we should do our famous come down
[00:45:53] WrestleMania recap yeah you got fucking what's rust what's WrestleMania attitude
[00:45:59] era okay guys here comes the big WrestleMania recap who gives a shit stop
[00:46:04] pretending like you care you're 36 from what I could gather off of Twitter a
[00:46:08] hot woman with red hair one or something Tony cate and she calls herself the
[00:46:13] man so I don't know if that means she's trans but they have a trans they have a
[00:46:17] trans one I don't know about like bustle bustle brania bustle brania
[00:46:23] yeah you're busting from getting your your bursting I don't think much has
[00:46:27] changed since we used to watch wrestling except hunter his helms lose now with
[00:46:32] they them oh yeah it's you get my fucking bro now brother brother don't call me
[00:46:40] brother if you if you call me he a black guy won the belt and everyone was like
[00:46:47] like pretending that was like a did they fuck the boss's daughter baby guys
[00:46:52] not get to win the belt is it the first time I won the belt this time there's
[00:46:56] the fight these are two things I saw on Twitter what we're looking at he did I
[00:47:00] never win the guy that wrote the sting directed down periscope yeah there you
[00:47:05] go it's a good movie isn't I used to like it by the bomb bomb bomb bomb
[00:47:11] but I'm but I'm but I'm but I'm but I'm but I'm but I'm but I'm but I'm but I'm
[00:47:13] what you like down periscope I used to love that shit that she was always on
[00:47:16] each people during the day I've never seen it yo your cat is gonna be some wild
[00:47:20] eyes right now trying to fuck yeah what's you looking at cats a killer she sees
[00:47:25] me I am killer dude I love you a little prey yeah
[00:47:29] cats are cool because they're apex predators yeah dogs are fucking lame no
[00:47:35] the dogs are cool that dogs are lame no they shut up dogs give you love I see
[00:47:40] yeah that's because you need it yeah love is nice dude we all need love it's a
[00:47:45] weakness no the only thing I need is to continue my war on terror oh another
[00:47:52] big news Nickless I'd love to get your take on it but the song that's burning
[00:47:57] up the charts right now is a little Nas X old-town road remix featuring Billy
[00:48:04] Billy Ray Cyrus I don't know any of the words you just said I just want to get
[00:48:09] that was like fucking 15 words in non-set there's a rap song or a rap slash
[00:48:13] I just wanted to get your take were a guy raps about being on the old town
[00:48:19] road and he got Billy Ray Cyrus to be on it from a key breaking heart Billy
[00:48:23] gay Cyrus next time thank you thank you knocked it out of the park thank you
[00:48:30] without even trying he's done it again I used to love a key breaking heart as a
[00:48:33] kid it was my that was after Elmo's it was my coaches
[00:48:37] breaking a spread they make you line dance coach G used to make us line
[00:48:42] dance yeah we like line was she's favorite song and then it he like hit his
[00:48:47] fucking boombox it was like bangin a name name name name name name name
[00:48:50] oh my achy breaky and my ass breaks all the time coach G used to make us
[00:48:58] line dance to it did you ever fuck you listen I wasn't lucky enough to have
[00:49:04] sex with him but he had sex with a lot of cute friends of mine I looked at the
[00:49:08] like line dancing is just dancing for people don't have to dance right it's
[00:49:11] like they had to create a handicapped version of land dancing for people like
[00:49:15] the rules is it they don't like the rules you follow the rules of the line
[00:49:19] can't dance there's no artistry to it that's the thing is that's the thing I'm
[00:49:23] like Nick who is a beautiful freestyle dancer oh yeah the magnificent dance
[00:49:27] that's why is it the gym all the time that's the thing about black culture
[00:49:32] is that they were the first people like we were the first people to not follow
[00:49:35] the rules what when they dance that's when beboying started here that answer
[00:49:39] here there one girl why is that racist thing about it was it racist now he's
[00:49:44] saying black people can't follow rules no they were the first to break the
[00:49:48] rules and the and within breaking the rules that's where true creativity
[00:49:52] artistic creativity happens that and the first line please think about
[00:49:59] everything this is all in Adams 1952 essay the rule breaking Negro he's cool
[00:50:07] and he flaps his lips at the policeman strutting his way through the urban
[00:50:12] landscape he doesn't answer anybody listen recently emancipated and
[00:50:17] without question not facing a single degree of discrimination at this point
[00:50:22] now fully unique over without any kind of oppression facing him whatsoever the
[00:50:28] 1952 cool rule breaking Negroes answers only to himself yep is it about these
[00:50:34] beasts that they can't control themselves me and Bill Buckley is phylum
[00:50:38] under the great apes once again bonobos different from black people Adam wants
[00:50:48] to say no not me don't miss it should be bad you've read my essay yeah on the
[00:51:03] the essay from from the harpers bizarre the national review what was that racist
[00:51:11] as essay that Rudyard Kipling wrote the white man's bird white man's bird yeah
[00:51:16] my man wrote the jungle book and some shit that was like yeah well they have
[00:51:19] book version of the jungle book is that racist to yeah okay because all is
[00:51:24] like blue shear con those are all people wait really they're not animals no
[00:51:30] they're yeah they're they're people black people yeah I got you I think they're
[00:51:37] Indian now they think about the cartoons probably more racist than the book is
[00:51:41] problem well I've never ever either read the book they were seeing the movie
[00:51:45] heart of darkness had some racist shit in it too that I remember I don't think
[00:51:49] it's racist to say that Africa that Uganda is the heart of darkness what's
[00:51:57] racist I literally still remember a thing where I think they called a black
[00:52:01] eye that was like dry reading or driving a boat or something like that look like
[00:52:05] a dog in like pants he was he compared it to every book black Africa
[00:52:12] that's like every all literature I mean the dark continent I made the point
[00:52:16] before but all literature is like just you know even now you write a book a
[00:52:20] page one is the N word and calling something that's why I was just our book
[00:52:25] that's the book we're working on actually yeah I mean there's books that are just
[00:52:29] the end word right out of the gate and then fucking the New York review of books
[00:52:32] is like wow this is really representative of you know the zeitgeist the intellectual
[00:52:40] yeah I mean if it's a black I'm about the like Down syndrome guy that loves
[00:52:44] public intellectuals yeah well Mikey really wants to be a public intellectual
[00:52:49] I like I like no I'm Chomsky and no I'm a dog
[00:52:55] no I'm a male I'm a soul yeah yeah he just that no ideological distinction
[00:53:04] yeah yeah well we got him a bunch of turtleneck
[00:53:08] last year for his birthday but of course he quickly stretched them all out
[00:53:11] I got a strong neck yeah we actually turned the basement into his own talk
[00:53:18] show yeah he has his own roundtable municipal policy discussion show that he
[00:53:26] runs down there it's nice nice little living room set up that they've changed
[00:53:30] the direction of the stop signs down on eight street and a lot of people are
[00:53:33] recognizing the way so undertones of that decision Michael what you have to
[00:53:38] say about it it's just a bunch of stuff very good Michael very very good very
[00:53:46] interesting point yeah well we had taken to the hospital Jose burned himself on
[00:53:50] his imaginary tea we're still not sure how he did it he's covered in third
[00:53:55] degree birds from spilling an imaginary cup of coffee all over
[00:53:59] it is yeah respect to him damn you are stuffed as a bitch huh we got sick that
[00:54:14] sucks bro we got thick stuff I'm think bro I'm thick as hell and 32 year old
[00:54:21] Adam is it your birthday today no it's in one Wednesday Wednesday so when so it
[00:54:27] is today when the show comes up today when the show comes everyone wish I
[00:54:30] am a happy birthday on the internet 32 years old feels great what have you done
[00:54:36] for your birthday what have I done we had a nice little party that's
[00:54:40] stood up in the emergency room oh yeah too much should we say too much
[00:54:46] huh happy birthday oh me too it's not necessary me to always doing this for
[00:54:54] my birth happy birthday we all know that you had a much raped also
[00:55:00] random rape Adam rapes yes he's a rapist that's a direction we're gonna go with
[00:55:04] this all I was no earth day me to happy birthday also your rapist I was raped
[00:55:12] my first birthday rape is the very best I have happy birthday me to okay okay
[00:55:22] okay times of you I never did it my first birthday I was raped so it's it's my
[00:55:29] 31st birthday of my me too what was it one was it two was it three well yes my
[00:55:36] second birthday was five was it six was it seven pretty much raped it you were
[00:55:41] right to your first birthday are you talking about the moyle when the
[00:55:44] well that was not a birthday party that was just kind of a private gathering my
[00:55:48] parents put together any of Adam's victims out there he had to twist it
[00:55:52] passed he was just paying it forward yeah if I understand that movie correctly
[00:55:57] the way a child the race yeah yeah yeah I just got this movie paid for it's
[00:56:06] probably about a couple of mafia guys knocking the veer gum fuckers about doing
[00:56:12] favors for people we ain't even part of the family ain't even they fucking
[00:56:17] daughters bro wedding day I like the part with a kid gets stabbed does it
[00:56:23] get them yeah it's cool spoiler hey this movie's pretty cool it's called I am Sam
[00:56:27] it's probably about a guy is his name is Sam and that's the only thing about him
[00:56:32] what the hell is this this guy's returning
[00:56:39] and I'm his gay yeah that'd be fun just to tell your guy come to every movie it
[00:56:48] stretches to every movie yeah it just now now it's not even the gay thing no
[00:56:52] pick any movie let's see we call a purple hey fucking track they should call
[00:57:01] this is called a black fuckers they call that fucking the fuck is this bullshit
[00:57:10] you call a purple my ass that's not a single drop of purple in the fucking
[00:57:15] thing it's all black people fucking pieces shit I ain't just fuck this
[00:57:24] movie a green my whole there's no the green it is
[00:57:32] now it's just he literally just turned into literal yeah yeah
[00:57:38] the fuck is this yeah for us one I thought I was okay I guess it's worth
[00:57:44] that's what it takes place like people trying to steal it over here I just
[00:57:50] show me the fucking plane huh fuck me man yeah suck my dick I am gay now Adam
[00:58:03] why won't you fuck so emergency room huh would you like to describe the scene
[00:58:11] at the emergency room food poisoning that sucks bro and then as we're waiting
[00:58:16] she was better so then we just left but we were there for three and a half I
[00:58:19] have some colorful characters maybe oh yeah there's a there's a little Chinese
[00:58:25] lady with a walker that was just like a little Chinese yeah he's just walking
[00:58:31] around telling everyone to eat her pussy
[00:58:36] look at his dear name me he my pussy be really was she talking like that yeah
[00:58:43] how old just for the record none of this happened I swear to god it's that did
[00:58:48] not happen you know what I'm not gonna miss her at a miss her this Chinese
[00:58:52] woman speaking Chinese he's like would it be funny if she was saying eat my
[00:58:57] pussy the police yeah actually there's a black guy there throwing bananas at
[00:59:03] everyone there wasn't but there wasn't a freaking guy in a gown with his ass out
[00:59:07] that was like give me my clothes back he's a bullshit I don't have to stay here I
[00:59:11] want my clothes respect like you do it's the hospital yeah I don't have to
[00:59:18] say I demand a lawyer sir you came in here because there was a pair of scissors
[00:59:28] in your hair cut you try to get some finish your hair yeah you take the
[00:59:38] scissors out of your eyes we took them out you got your hair you going just
[00:59:43] going to the emergency room and taking all this clothes off you know what you
[00:59:52] it is my hair why did somebody cut my hair where do you go to get a haircut
[01:00:01] I had a no no what these places or what are you are supposed to do here all I
[01:00:09] know is I want my haircut and I want my goddamn clothes back they're in a pile
[01:00:15] right next you took them off damn that would be nice to get nude get a haircut
[01:00:22] while totally nude yeah feel free I went to the spa recently yeah great
[01:00:27] experience we're spa spine somewhere in the it would be nice after a haircut if
[01:00:33] they would like slap my dick around with that that like the talcum powder oh
[01:00:38] yeah or the thing with a massage your neck if they put that on your nuts yeah
[01:00:41] just a nice little one thing you get a neck massage yeah with someone's hands
[01:00:46] they got a little vibrating shit I go to the Japanese do you want your whole
[01:00:51] head massage that's nice yeah I just really want your dick talcummed up Nick
[01:00:55] yeah get all the moisture out of it yeah yeah yeah now that it's springtime
[01:01:00] I'm fucking sweaty that's true how about talk them in the middle and he's always
[01:01:04] cool that is nuts Sean Sean King Sean King
[01:01:09] talking in the middle of of the big debate online because he likes Bernie
[01:01:14] but bad takes otherwise interesting it's Beto called a BBO racist that was kind
[01:01:21] of cool yeah but if that's his only position fuck it he's alright yeah but
[01:01:24] you could say BB's a racist but what about the rest of Israel and the existence
[01:01:29] of Israel he's sort of saying that I guess no he's not he's just saying that
[01:01:32] they'd be fine if they didn't have this one guy no I don't know man whatever
[01:01:38] sorry I mean I already get political on here guys I mean it's better than him
[01:01:43] than being Hillary I know I know I mean it sucks I don't I guess I just don't want it
[01:01:49] people like him I guess they do yeah yeah yeah some bitch ass MSNBC type of
[01:01:55] male ass type of crack I was like we were talking about right before that I
[01:02:00] remember pumpkin season and African guys close up coming here cock oh yeah
[01:02:06] what one of Elvis's friends they had an exchange student from China and he said
[01:02:11] that you could get you go to the barbershop and get your dick sucked and your
[01:02:16] haircut for five though imagine that barbershop five and it's in China and it's
[01:02:21] like Cedric just having to suck Chinese guys man this is not my I'm not my shit
[01:02:28] you tell Virginia I've never seen any of those rooms I tell Virginia I'm going
[01:02:35] back to my detailing service I think Cedric doesn't like black people I've
[01:02:41] been winded up fucking fucking around in China I live there shriveled my whole
[01:02:46] life don't speak a damn word of Chinese barbershop for ends with me in a a
[01:02:51] container shipping container some sort getting sex traffic and yeah in the
[01:02:56] wrong direction post credits bumpers Jason Statham is somehow responsible
[01:03:01] for and here I am now we're taking you to China your old black boy pussy we've
[01:03:07] been taking so many Chinese women away we need to replace you this motherfucker
[01:03:11] I'm not Chinese I don't care just getting a container taking you home how
[01:03:20] many goddamn times we're gonna tell you I'm from North Carolina
[01:03:25] we're going back to Hong Kong so you could be with your father I'm a 72 year old
[01:03:35] African American man I am not a 16 year old Chinese girl I don't know how to
[01:03:41] make that more clear to you listen Li pink there's only two things I know
[01:03:46] karate and Chinese people and how to bring Chinese people back to China
[01:03:53] your father the ambassador yeah that is how that is how barbershop four ends
[01:04:02] you're getting fucking mouth fucked Chinese man still complaining about black
[01:04:09] people motherfucker that is a bowl haircut the fuck are you mad about ain't
[01:04:15] nobody coming here want nothing but bowl haircut I told you I went to that
[01:04:23] Dominican barbershop in Bushwick that had porn playing unlike one of those
[01:04:26] mini like kitchen TV honestly so much like nine inch so much your mom has in
[01:04:32] the kitchen yeah yeah did you get a good haircut F out of that one no the guy
[01:04:39] did not speak English and I did not get a good did you kiss him on lips it was
[01:04:43] twelve dollars did you kiss him on lips you kiss it was his there was a kiss and
[01:04:47] you kiss him and you're dating what was his name Diablo you kissed him the two
[01:04:51] of you have kissed then you had sex you had slacks the two of them kissed each
[01:04:57] other and then they became a gay sex partners together let me ask you this
[01:05:05] we've got Ricky here how old are you Ricky I'm six Ricky what do you know
[01:05:12] about Goma sexual they're bad mr. Cosmo oh always said they're bad they're
[01:05:23] what oh damn free bill I was worried when my sister was sick the other night
[01:05:37] that she got Spanish fly yeah that was one of the things I was considering
[01:05:41] that she was fucking poison what Spanish fly is the best it's not an
[01:05:45] aphrodisiac to fucking like no row talk yeah it makes you pass out I thought it
[01:05:49] was rude sick oh I thought it was like an aphrodisiac
[01:05:53] that's what my costume was given no no I thought it was like a like when people
[01:05:58] because I had to look it up I was like what the fuck is Spanish fly I thought
[01:06:01] it was something buying like a gas station it was like you know like one of
[01:06:04] those boner yeah you know like chocolate or something oysters people say oysters
[01:06:08] an aphrodisiac yeah dude this can't really eat me right now dude it's
[01:06:13] killer absolutely she's a little fucking juicy morsel she's flicking her little
[01:06:17] tail staring at you oh you put the cap to love you fuck got a disaster
[01:06:23] that's possible I fuck the cat mr. Cosby you have a gay sex with a cap to love
[01:06:30] you should have his own show called Bill Cosby it says the foot most fucked up
[01:06:36] things yeah kids say a bunch of fucked up shit
[01:06:46] why I search I just don't think six millions of reasonable number miss you
[01:06:51] said all the cost did you heard of these all cost
[01:06:59] religious things like that but we're the green we're even these centers not in the
[01:07:05] graves you can't find the single one of them all they have is the museum seems
[01:07:10] like there's more museums the Jews if they were is anybody's gonna pull off a
[01:07:24] big conspiracy like that's probably the people who controlled me the entertainment
[01:07:30] exactly hold on I'm getting a call from my agent he said to drop me and now I'm
[01:07:44] we're never entering this episode of kids say the darkness things and that's how
[01:07:58] it happened you're listening to the whole tap podcast you're listening to
[01:08:08] Cedric the entertainers hold that podcast broadcasting live on Guangzhou province
[01:08:15] that's the thing man they set him up like that
[01:08:22] England down the back down what is he made the base yeah yeah think oh yeah I'm
[01:08:29] bangboo go go go go go go go go go go if only Bill Cosby had tried to buy NBC
[01:08:37] fuck you don't pop up on the gun the gun the gun the gun the
[01:08:42] seven enemies are there's probably language like this people out there just you
[01:08:48] know make casually be like boom doc lump yeah that's the enemy if you chill chill
[01:08:54] out bro chill out man that's aggressive stop having your language be like that I
[01:08:59] can see why English is most popular language chill bro it's very chill it's
[01:09:04] not chill at all probably has nothing to do with anything else nope it's probably
[01:09:08] it's a language probably people in like in far-off countries away from England
[01:09:12] just heard English from the distance and they were like let's speak that yeah yeah
[01:09:16] yeah they just heard it they're like hey guys brother they saw them sailing some
[01:09:20] English you can have all of our spice some stuff and some pussy they didn't
[01:09:25] want them to take our spices pussy yeah I want
[01:09:34] to flag with the don't try it on me snake but it says take our spices and
[01:09:40] that's how the British got everything yeah
[01:09:48] yeah guys it is the flag plenty of pussy is actually the original Rick is the actual
[01:09:54] the original flag of Canada it says please try not to be take our spices and
[01:10:02] suppose it's a little snake wearing a headdress
[01:10:13] no man guys people used English to oppress the world now and slave the world
[01:10:17] rape the world to steal all their resources no chance for called and country
[01:10:22] fuck them no you guys don't know the real history behind this what is tree
[01:10:26] about behind the English language how it's in some hard hours and dude I'm
[01:10:32] reading hard I forget who I was talking to the other day but like Dan Carlin's
[01:10:38] hard our history came up again it was a girl and she was like she was like wait
[01:10:43] for real we were like yeah Dan Carlin has two pockets she's like no way like yeah
[01:10:53] you should check it out it's the same exact one but he says the end we're
[01:10:57] in the same guy Eddie hard hard our end words isn't that crazy because you know
[01:11:02] he drops a soft day every once in a while regular yeah yeah sometimes he
[01:11:06] messes up yeah yeah well that's the rule right is that all people can use soft
[01:11:11] a but only black people can use hard are yes yeah okay yeah I think I think
[01:11:17] that's what I guess right now what why don't you say some
[01:11:20] I'm it's my you already said with the one slur on the show it's on my birthday
[01:11:25] what what slur you know it is your birthday that's true yeah we did wish you
[01:11:30] a very nice happy birthday you guys didn't sing that you said that I was a
[01:11:34] rapist your birthday but we also said happy birthday yeah you fucking asked
[01:11:39] who's me of doing one of the worst crimes a person can do I guess faking a
[01:11:45] hate crime that's that is pretty terrible trying to start a race war by faking
[01:11:50] a hate crime the worst crime of all to get revenge on the molar report
[01:11:57] to revenge it what's going on that stuff is it good molar report I'm I'm not even
[01:12:05] kissing my girlfriend until I see the full thing me too june I gotta see the
[01:12:09] full unredacted Miller report it'd be great if they release it and in 3,000
[01:12:14] pages like Trump's bad orange Cheeto bad guy we don't like him this I just
[01:12:20] oh this guy's a real piece of work it's just like it's just Michael in black's
[01:12:26] tweets yeah yeah that'd be that'd be pretty funny huh it would be good yeah
[01:12:31] that would be good oh what what do you got there no collisions they're
[01:12:37] what he said they said the witch hunt rigged with some it's a rigged witch
[01:12:45] hunt Harvey Weinstein was a really influential guy I gotta blow my nose
[01:12:49] again you gotta blow your nose bro damn Nick you're sick we should get some
[01:12:52] spicy food after this or something spicy food is it is it clears out your
[01:12:58] sinus yeah but it fucks up your stomach yeah if you got a weak ass a little
[01:13:03] bitch ass done that everyone come on man he what you know Nick's stomach isn't
[01:13:08] like he's not like oh you're accusing Nick he doesn't have a poon job he's
[01:13:13] style stomach yeah he's got a weak Irish stomach we all know that that's true
[01:13:17] it's only supposed to eat potatoes and shit and blood sausage what are you
[01:13:22] talking about my stomach oh yeah I was saying when you get some spicy foods to
[01:13:27] clear out your sinus I used actually it was up until like this year I had no
[01:13:31] problem the spicy food yeah me people used to do that joke about like you know
[01:13:35] oh yeah I ate an Indian food last night I'm now I'm shitting it all out right it's
[01:13:39] worse on the way out than it is on the way and I never understood that I'm
[01:13:42] like you don't have taste buds in your ass what are you talking about I do that's
[01:13:47] why I love getting fucked in the ass so much yeah yeah I love the taste of cock
[01:13:50] yeah it's why I put lollipops in my ass uh-huh I was the most popular guy in
[01:13:56] prison because I'd snuggle a smoggo jolly ranchers and they call me they call
[01:14:02] me a el pinata but but isn't that because it burns a call me pinata bro yeah cuz
[01:14:09] I got a bunch of candy eating my ass I mean most most popular but puppet you
[01:14:15] going prison I get I get jump by everyone and the candy flies out of my
[01:14:20] ass okay guess okay so where oh brother I got a fucking candy so I got so much
[01:14:25] candy in my ass it's like a birthday party in here it's like a birthday I'm
[01:14:31] turning old jail into a fucking birthday party that's the piata nobody's go
[01:14:37] fuck cuz it I see look man that's that's the thing man I'm I'm 541 78 pounds you
[01:14:44] know I'm coming in here I know they're gonna try and ask sex with me all right I
[01:14:52] alright cause I'm wearing the largest size I got in Oshkosh I still would like I'm
[01:14:59] still swimming in these clothes you know and that's why I said I'm trying to not
[01:15:05] get get my my ass my poo was my cool oh my cool oh my cool oh rapid chutro so I'm
[01:15:13] like you know one of the one like tell people my name is a pinata and I feel
[01:15:18] my ass with candy because everybody's gonna get mad at the guy that
[01:15:22] fucks all the candy you know that fucks it up for everyone but I
[01:15:26] a man I'm going around like doing little breakdances they're acting like a
[01:15:30] little vending machine I'm shit now fucking tootsie rolls and air has in the
[01:15:35] middle of the recreation area and they're like man Josie's cool shit I'm like
[01:15:41] no I was trying to go by the pinata but you know whatever they call me Josie
[01:15:46] if they want as long as they don't rape me as long as I'm not getting getting
[01:15:50] rep rep a poop on rep and he's long as these repistas
[01:15:55] he's rip up he's not stay away from me rapid he's just the pinata it's a it's a
[01:16:04] five-foot-one Mexican guy that's got a bunch of candy shove all in his colon
[01:16:08] just feel yeah I'm gonna keep getting candy in there I'm gonna work yeah
[01:16:14] right God damn it we gotta stop this guy yep it'd be fun to move you like an
[01:16:20] animal house but it's about a prison gang are you brotherhood look at me I'm
[01:16:27] the human's it just shit's calm look at me I'm a human I'm a human's it did he
[01:16:41] come on the cafeteria yeah yeah there's some like 19 year old kid that got
[01:16:49] clocked with like with marijuana and he's just nervous they trying to take a
[01:16:53] shower they're all like watching him as he takes it
[01:16:56] how you got yeah boy I am a mou gang animal gang rape to that 19 year old boy
[01:17:12] yeah what's great what's Gregory Marmalard's deal he's like a in the area brotherhood
[01:17:27] Gregily Marmalard I'm sorry we're gonna become the finest group of gang
[01:17:31] yeah great rich guys yeah that's his name Gregorly Marmalard Gregory Marmalard
[01:17:38] that's fucking awesome name the actor the marmalard Greg Marmalard is the the
[01:17:43] rich guy you know I think or its revenge in the nerds I can't remember all I know
[01:17:48] is oh it's a kid people like those movies I'm like well not going to college
[01:17:53] this will never I'm no thanks because you didn't want to go to parties no
[01:18:01] socializing I know fuck that more school and it's optional they don't even have to
[01:18:06] go to school they get to rock out at parties yeah and their house is messy
[01:18:11] too damn that's so wild I don't yeah I guess I always assumed we lost the fucking
[01:18:16] bar right Marmalard and he says that at some point who says that
[01:18:23] is it Bushemi's like standing inside he's like we lost the bar and then he
[01:18:26] downs that thing of Jack Daniels oh I just remember seeing tits and you know
[01:18:32] she me no it's not Bushemi yeah the other one the dead guy
[01:18:37] ballooshy ballooshy well is Steve Bushemi the third
[01:18:43] ballooshy brother yeah he was just so ashamed of Jim that he wanted to change
[01:18:48] his last name it's a good take man thanks brother what are they some sort of
[01:18:55] Armenian type of Albania fortunately oh sorry sounds like Albanians are the
[01:19:01] superior don't even don't even dare say that shit
[01:19:05] eldest the Bushemi brothers those are three of the funniest people I know about
[01:19:09] Liza Dushku she's hot she's hilarious too she's yeah they got some good guys
[01:19:18] honestly but fuck them we got Telly Sivalis co-jack you got uncle Jesse we got
[01:19:26] uncle Jesse we got Jennifer Aniston no one's talking about that her name's like
[01:19:30] a nasty anasthenopolis or some shit like that
[01:19:33] Jennifer Aniston just eat her asshole bleached yep
[01:19:39] dumb words unveil my spec script for friends in which racial has to get her
[01:19:44] asshole bleached they're like you you understand the characters name is
[01:19:49] Rachel right so no one told you life was fun
[01:19:59] you know you just handing it a spec script to an agent and I've written the lyrics
[01:20:07] my spectrum takes up four pages I don't know I know these must be like 22 pages
[01:20:13] but I think with commercials and shit you just like maybe you said commercial
[01:20:18] yeah it should be like a there'll be like a PSA or like a breaking news thing so
[01:20:22] there's gonna be extra time in between but basically this one racial goes and
[01:20:27] gets her asshole bleached but the doctor's horny so he keeps coming in his
[01:20:37] the fundamental understanding of every part of it the doctor keeps coming and
[01:20:46] he gets some cum on her ass and then which he's fucking Ross later he's like
[01:20:49] what the what the hell is this fucking cum she's like I wouldn't get my my
[01:20:54] asshole bleached for you as a surprise the doctor was hoarding and then you
[01:21:00] find that we find out that really it was because there was a video of Joey from
[01:21:04] one of his acting gigs on the TV while he was doing the asshole bleached and
[01:21:09] the doctors like Ross I didn't come on which is ass it was because I'm gay
[01:21:15] there's this guy Joey who's gay and then but the doctor's name is Dr.
[01:21:23] Beverly something and so he's like turns on Dr. Beverly was just coming because
[01:21:29] of Joey the Joey's like Chandler this hot chick Beverly or whatever
[01:21:34] so it's a chick yeah he thinks so Joey's that's a classic Joey and Chandler
[01:21:42] singing in the living room usually masturbating to the idea of a female
[01:21:47] doctor their leather chairs and then and then yeah Jennifer comes in and
[01:21:52] Beverly they're like you know she walks in she's like did Ross tell you what
[01:21:56] happened they're like yeah we're both masturbating to that female doctor
[01:22:00] she's like female and then it's a tight shot on Joey's like
[01:22:12] coming up on Fraser I love the doctor I just imagine the doctor
[01:22:21] Rachel that's knocking on the door to explain oh by the way Ross it's not that I
[01:22:27] want to fuck right now like you know Ross is like you came on my girlfriend's
[01:22:35] ass I let he just knocked on the no no Ross is like I'm gonna go see this
[01:22:39] fucking doctor Ross Ross shows up to the doctor's office and he has to borrow
[01:22:44] a leather jacket from Joey not tough he's like I'm worried I'm not gonna be
[01:22:49] tough enough so Ross shows up to and he's wearing all the Joey's leather stuff
[01:22:55] leather pants leather jacket on no pants because Joey didn't have any
[01:23:00] leather hats he shows up completely nude under otherwise and the doctor is
[01:23:07] like what's going on he's like huge you came on my girlfriend's ass and that's
[01:23:10] rape and he's like it's not a gay can't tell anyone obviously you know he's
[01:23:16] like I'm gay and then you know so then later Ross is like the doctors game
[01:23:21] they're like the doctors not gay it's like but I don't know a cameo from Jack
[01:23:26] from all the way she's like gay people only tell other gay people that they're
[01:23:31] gay and then Ross realizes that the doctor thinks he's gay because he showed
[01:23:36] up wearing a leather daddy outfit well that might not work hands where yeah
[01:23:42] yeah yeah yeah but he looks like a leather daddy anyway that's my spec
[01:23:48] specific thing so as a classic mix that's my my spec script for friends I
[01:23:53] hate that we just try to look tough the big Hollywood hunching yeah well
[01:23:58] folks I gotta tend to my nose here and I get my laundry before the the fucking
[01:24:04] shit closes that's right thanks for listening everyone starting in May we're
[01:24:10] gonna be doing funny moms every Monday except the first Monday of the month so
[01:24:16] come out to that we're there on the 22nd all right goodbye everybody right