Cum Town | Regular | 05/02/2019
[00:00:03] free episode w fuck my ass we got a special guest in the house feeling it
[00:00:12] uh... and we got him in a fat suit so we can feel like stops with us he's
[00:00:16] clumped up somebody message me i didn't respond to but they're like yo
[00:00:20] why is it going on erin glazer whatever the
[00:00:23] yeah like why why you always like why you still should on air
[00:00:27] thank all the things we do on this show yeah i've never even heard you talk about
[00:00:31] we've made fun of a like two or three times yeah it's like that's what you
[00:00:36] that's who you think needs to be defended the uc b rape is a guy who sorry may
[00:00:41] or may not have raped people but it seems like he probably did yeah
[00:00:47] i think he's lost a ton of weight to as it is like living his best life
[00:00:53] look anything that gets people out of comedy is is he's identifying as a woman
[00:00:59] yeah classic movies like you're about to get me to you say you're trans
[00:01:03] yeah or you're clear or something that's great yeah
[00:01:08] well it's basically that by saying he was gay
[00:01:12] whatever he just didn't go far enough he didn't go far
[00:01:15] yeah no i was in trouble i tweeted that like it's like the presidential debate
[00:01:19] you're losing and then it's like uh... i'm trans
[00:01:24] and then it was like two weeks later Charles climber did that
[00:01:38] so mike thanks for filling in for stop this week stop had a serious surgery
[00:01:46] convalescing right now he has now he's a millionaire he's getting all this
[00:01:52] you gotta pick a new ass and a new parrotic he does need it uh... as implants
[00:01:57] got a mabrazillion butler i didn't like you you know i mean he's so into that
[00:02:04] if he's criticized body in any way immediately's like no that's not true
[00:02:09] but i will say one thing about some of this true is he has hand-kill last
[00:02:14] yeah not here to defend himself so i do too i have i have no ass and i i've had
[00:02:19] tits as i was like ten years old and my mom told me there is some kind of
[00:02:23] they fix a breastplate in your chest and she was like what we're gonna get you
[00:02:27] that surgery and then it just never happened
[00:02:29] of what do you mean fix a breastplate it's like a
[00:02:32] it's a bit of a she told me that i have like a concave which is probably a
[00:02:36] probably a lot of chest and cavity as well yeah
[00:02:39] it's something a lot of jus have actually okay so maybe there's some more questions
[00:02:50] well stops ass not a portion to his body
[00:02:56] but my problem is that my back hurts so i can use my ass for exercise
[00:03:11] uh... yeah so we all got game of thrones feet for that's right nik
[00:03:16] i made nikwaj game of thrones and then you've never seen it
[00:03:21] about video game of thrones you know i'm talking about it yep there's mario
[00:03:31] to take the spot is the number one video game guy
[00:03:35] yet what i mean i've never seen game of thrones oh yeah they all want to be on
[00:03:43] uh... i think he just sat on the throne
[00:03:46] uh... from game of thrones i don't think yeah i know until recently thought he
[00:03:53] you thought he was like a i thought he was a chinese or yeah one of those
[00:04:02] that there's that blind disabled kid needs like
[00:04:07] well there is a lot of representation on game of thrones i think that's why
[00:04:16] uh... there's a ton of dickless character i mean i i did think for a while
[00:04:19] that arthur chew is a character on the show
[00:04:24] i thought that's why i thought it was okay to make for it was a game of thrones
[00:04:27] character didn't know how to tie his shoes it's true
[00:04:30] anytime we've ever made fun of someone on the show it's because we think it's a
[00:04:33] care that's why that guy got upset about erin glazers because that's the only
[00:04:36] real person we've ever made fun of it's true
[00:04:39] and that is that was crossing the line it did we did cross the line
[00:04:48] yeah it's tough to know where the line is
[00:04:53] that's why we need to make physical lines
[00:04:58] on the road on the sidewalks around a person were not allowed to make fun of
[00:05:02] if it's just like yeah if it's someone with like a small mangled hand and
[00:05:10] and there's five hundred pounds there should just be a
[00:05:12] certainly like the first cop that ever did the chalk outline thing of a body
[00:05:17] very much uh... like uh... i'll bring a napkins to the party kind of guy
[00:05:21] roll the other cops doing real work and it's like i trace
[00:05:29] and then he just kept that job for a while is that come
[00:05:35] it's a very important job here at the police department
[00:05:45] yeah it's important i mean people told you in our class that was bad to trace
[00:05:49] but that i made a whole career out of it
[00:05:56] what what's the point is to know where the body was
[00:05:59] i guess you know where the position that it was in the air priority them having
[00:06:06] so they don't do it anymore no i don't think so
[00:06:16] so received what's been new with you i've been
[00:06:18] i'm good and i'm a little bit of time you're on the show
[00:06:22] i guess it's a good regular cop for a while before you can be like a great i
[00:06:26] was thought that to you know it'd be like if you wanted to be a priest but you
[00:06:32] like they for you to be a low-level petify yeah
[00:06:36] it had to be like yeah he's like work a chucky cheese
[00:06:38] like a van petify yeah and then after you do that for twelve years you get to be a
[00:06:45] yes i remember wanting to be a detective but then i was like you get it but then
[00:06:48] you get to be a cop first but everyone everyone had that thought yeah
[00:06:54] you think you'd be a good you'd be a good detective you're going to take an
[00:06:58] well detectives it's not a hard job nix gonna knowing what to be a cop you have
[00:07:02] to be dumb i got that on law and you get the mustache yeah
[00:07:08] you show up and you you know you look important right
[00:07:12] nuanced opinions of various races i think you have that
[00:07:16] right um looks like a chinese job to me yeah
[00:07:21] wait what were he's like the best detective yeah
[00:07:24] what were we watching the other day it was like uh that someone's job in the
[00:07:27] police forces chinese squad or like the oh uh
[00:07:31] showdown and uh that's right showdown in little tokyo yeah
[00:07:35] that uh brain and lee shows up he's like uh you know
[00:07:39] meherson asian squad asian squad asian task force yeah that's right
[00:07:44] huh the the implication was that there's a task force in the police just
[00:07:48] surrounding asian they're kind of is though when you go to china town it's
[00:07:51] usually asian cops yeah i guess they you police around neighborhoods
[00:07:56] that's good yeah that's why i want to become a bed-style cop
[00:08:02] because i care about this community yeah you just like the community where i'm
[00:08:06] from you just walk around and you're too friendly with
[00:08:08] with black people yeah well i'd be obviously one of those
[00:08:12] doing the nay-nay kind of cops it goes viral yeah yeah or like trying to ride
[00:08:17] someone motorcycle cop uh and then crashing at an intersection and
[00:08:21] being laughed at by the internet that could be another option for me
[00:08:25] i love that video so much do you see it what we've talked about on the show
[00:08:28] before ever what the cop that took that guy's kawasaki
[00:08:32] ninja and tried to ride oh yeah yeah what's not a kawasaki ninja well whatever
[00:08:37] it was anytime i see a crotch i don't know if it is or not i just
[00:08:41] wanted to say it's not yeah anytime i see one of those crotch
[00:08:44] rocket motorcycles i call it i just classified as a kawasaki ninja in my
[00:08:49] mind hmm a crotch faggot crotch faggot look it's one of them
[00:08:53] crotch faggots i do crotch fit it's where you go and you
[00:09:02] crossfit oars oh yeah the ones who like the overdeveloped
[00:09:06] lats oh i like those yeah i kind of like that too
[00:09:11] yeah i like uh i like skinny women but i like really strong necks
[00:09:16] i like uh nick i think julia vins julia vins is in a movie or something
[00:09:21] oh was she yeah she played it alien that's cool yeah
[00:09:24] what movie uh i don't know i could check her instagram if you
[00:09:28] cast and heat again so i got to hide all my stuff
[00:09:31] before she why don't you just get the cat fix pisses i mean i'm
[00:09:34] because i did that like vet that like comes in does a house call or i didn't
[00:09:39] handle it but it like it's they book it fucking six weeks out
[00:09:43] oh really yeah i took my dog to uh because i don't have a carrier or any way
[00:09:48] to take it to the fucking vet i took my dog to south brooklyn just
[00:09:51] had a russian just fucking close that pussy up for business
[00:09:56] nice yeah now now she can't fuck no more but did she get horny
[00:10:00] she she can eat her own pussy still okay the outside of it but she can't go in
[00:10:06] yeah this is a no-go zone no no dicks are going in there but the
[00:10:12] asshole that's still completely open for business
[00:10:15] be nice if all our girlfriends could eat their own pussy stop bothering us oh my
[00:10:19] god would that be great that would be the dream yeah
[00:10:23] sweetheart what are you doing so she's in some movie where she's like an alien
[00:10:29] oh she looks like a predator kind of or one of those uh
[00:10:34] wasn't called battlefield earth people yeah the reggae
[00:10:38] new metal kind of aesthetic um that'll star fag lactica that's good
[00:10:47] faggle star fag lactica fagal star fagal star fag lactic
[00:10:52] you ever see that show uh no my father was really into it though
[00:10:56] that is weird yeah i didn't want to i locked away the robot's eyes go back
[00:11:02] and forth he likes science fiction a lot i like
[00:11:05] away his eyes light i think it's because he doesn't want to live on this planet
[00:11:11] yeah did you ever get into dune the book yeah yeah yeah okay
[00:11:17] have you seen any of the movies no oh it's a great book okay yeah
[00:11:21] the the sci-fi movie they made like i guess 10 years ago for sci-fi channel
[00:11:26] it was pretty good it was like a mini series and then there's a david lynch
[00:11:30] one which i think is kind of tied honestly it's the only david lunch
[00:11:34] movie i like really yeah that's such a bullshit opinion
[00:11:42] it's like it's not like a good david lynch right
[00:11:47] just dude nick and i watch color is a couple uh
[00:11:51] that yeah we talked about that on the show right yeah
[00:11:55] good that real piece of shit yeah not a good movie no
[00:12:00] not a good movie i re-watched problem child recently
[00:12:03] you know also it held up i it wasn't good
[00:12:07] but it was uh that kid you know it was definitely in the
[00:12:11] in the era of like children being able to beat up adults about problem guiled
[00:12:15] and it's like a 32 year old man yeah i think she's guile
[00:12:20] there you go yeah yeah i guess there i do go
[00:12:25] the fuck is it goddamn what are you looking for trying to pull my
[00:12:28] shit oh the phone george is not enough you need juice
[00:12:35] anyway so we got game of thrones fever again
[00:12:38] what do you think of that i haven't seen it you know when it came out i uh
[00:12:42] i was working through the sopranos and then i hadn't seen breaking bed or the
[00:12:46] wire so i was like i don't have time well yeah but i was like i don't have time
[00:12:49] to watch uh this show this game nick nixon uh
[00:12:54] when i made nick watch it he was looking at his phone most of the time then he
[00:12:57] looked up and he said this movie's fucking gay
[00:13:02] we look back in his phone yeah no that i mean it was really boring
[00:13:06] and i understand i didn't uh but what's did you
[00:13:09] start from the first season or no we watched sunday's episode okay yeah
[00:13:14] okay i think you'd see in five minutes of the first where you caught up on this
[00:13:17] no on the show i have no idea what to yeah it's a castle and
[00:13:20] yeah fighting they all were fighting the zombies from taking over the castle
[00:13:27] and there's a king of the zombies what's she do
[00:13:32] he what he makes other people into zombies like if he if he kills you then
[00:13:37] you become a zombie too so if you kill him then all of the people that he made
[00:13:41] into zombies die so they knew that they had to kill the
[00:13:45] main one in order for it to be for them to win the
[00:13:50] to win the episode okay so it's pretty good show yeah
[00:13:55] i was in san antónia once and i was at david buster's and i was playing that
[00:13:59] i'm walking dead game which is like it's like a shooter but
[00:14:02] it's like a booth so you kind of go in the booth and you shoot
[00:14:05] zombies and this kid like came in and sat down next to me
[00:14:10] and i was like do you want to play and then we played together for a little bit
[00:14:14] and then the game was over and i was like see you later
[00:14:17] and then i left that was it you never got his name or anything it was weird
[00:14:21] yeah he's probably a 12 year old's no he was like my my age or a little younger
[00:14:26] so by child you mean a 33 year old man like yeah
[00:14:31] man a guy that's halfway through yeah he's trying to like early twice on this
[00:14:34] earth he's right i hope it's more yeah yeah you think about like
[00:14:39] how your lives like the divergent paths that your lives have gone
[00:14:42] in since then yeah you know where he's at where you're at in your life
[00:14:46] yeah i wonder what it was maybe he's listening right now
[00:14:50] yeah in san antonia you played the walking dead video yes please my number is
[00:14:55] six year or nine you guys made eye contact for a second after the game was
[00:14:59] over and then you kind of just say goodbye you know yeah
[00:15:10] right oh my name it's uh stan uh stan antonio
[00:15:17] that's a pretty dumb name sir sure is you know something like that
[00:15:22] yeah have you ever um used the term stan
[00:15:28] nik to describe fandom no something never wants
[00:15:32] that's why that's why i know that nik's my most mature friend
[00:15:35] he's never trying to sound like one of the youths no yeah
[00:15:39] he's he's sticking with his own vocabulary yeah and there's
[00:15:42] one word you know the word what's that it's that word
[00:15:54] that make sure no i don't so all right so um
[00:15:57] moving right long so we got game of thrones fever
[00:16:01] and uh stava hope you're feeling better what are you thinking on uh this
[00:16:06] election we got coming up nik you got uh
[00:16:09] i don't know what the fuck what is that i'm trying to direct the show stops
[00:16:13] gone i'm not a very good showrunner i'm not a good host of comedy shows in
[00:16:17] general i'm not even a good guest on comedy shows
[00:16:21] yes i'm just trying to i'm just trying to you know to try to take over the show
[00:16:24] i don't know but i feel like stava is like good at asking questions when
[00:16:28] there's a lull he'll be like uh no he isn't he just goes well who's
[00:16:32] fucking yeah let's just start describing food he's eating recently
[00:16:36] yeah what what have you eaten anything good pork
[00:16:40] shoulder went to my boys for greek easter i can do right
[00:16:43] all right ha ha ha it's faster than that the
[00:16:46] laugh is fast yeah ha ha that's what laughter sounds like
[00:16:52] you are it's like i'm uh what is the beer baron episode
[00:16:57] well you all know what laughter sounds like
[00:17:06] i made a i made a banana pudding for easter
[00:17:09] oh nice came out pretty good nice yeah what's the little cookies in the
[00:17:13] rasping uh mike before the show started i guess mike's a mover
[00:17:17] wondering if black women ever try to disguise themselves as furniture
[00:17:22] to get free rides from the moving company it's not free i mean
[00:17:26] they would to get a couple of bucks to get carried out of their apartment but
[00:17:30] yeah sometimes you do want to get carried
[00:17:33] you want to get wrapped up in shrink wrap and carried into a excuse me i'm a
[00:17:37] love seat i don't know i don't know what you mean by
[00:17:50] but but she she didn't look like it's so i didn't think she was a love seat
[00:17:55] i was she identified as yeah and then shawn king like it makes a big deal out
[00:18:00] of it there's a video of you refusing to move her
[00:18:03] she's like i'm gonna put you on facebook for this
[00:18:06] yeah y'all aren't even gonna believe this this white boy won't even move me in a
[00:18:14] i guess what we going live on face again
[00:18:19] that's a concern i just i would have to leave the country i guess
[00:18:23] yeah that's my livelihood you ever have one of those manual labor you know
[00:18:27] porn kind of situations where there's a war there
[00:18:30] she's like kind of halfway on undressed she's oh thank you it's nice to have a
[00:18:39] yeah that's never even like come close to happening but there's guys at the
[00:18:43] company who like they get hit on all the time
[00:18:45] but it's not you me yeah i don't know why it's like i'm unattro
[00:18:50] wow i don't have money at the call center like women who call up
[00:18:54] uh and they'd be like yeah my computer isn't working and be like what kind of
[00:19:02] hell yeah they'd say excuse me i'm like oh i'm sorry
[00:19:05] but one out of maybe 500 times you get a little phone sex going
[00:19:09] right the boss busts like hey you know all the calls are recorded right
[00:19:15] for quality insurance the quality assurance team heard you having
[00:19:22] 62 year old Hispanic woman are you working one of those indian
[00:19:25] scam call centers yeah you just too horny to carry out the scam
[00:19:30] we have your social security number also hello baby
[00:19:35] hello baby please give me your address and send 500
[00:19:40] also may i kiss you yeah or may i give you a smooch please
[00:19:45] and also your credit card number there's a ton of those videos on youtube
[00:19:49] where it's like people owning you know indian call scammers and they're
[00:19:52] really not that funny but yeah there's one where this guy tells
[00:19:55] the kid he's gonna send him a subpoena he's like i'm i'm gonna send you a subpoena
[00:19:58] to depose you because i'm an attorney and the the kid just goes
[00:20:01] how about you send your penis to your mom
[00:20:11] because he's falling said penis yeah well you can bet on that kind of
[00:20:19] shit at Bette aside folks Bette aside.com the only sponsor
[00:20:25] of the come town podcast except for the other ones
[00:20:28] uh Bette aside.com uh Adam you you said you wanted to
[00:20:35] take control of the show today so are you using blue chew Adam
[00:20:39] yeah but when we're talking about Bette aside sorry oh yeah we're um
[00:20:43] well what i like to do is use all of the products that are mentioned on this
[00:20:46] show right right but mostly Bette aside but mostly Bette aside.com
[00:20:51] because of their award winning mobile interface
[00:20:54] their 24 hour uh seven-day a week customer service
[00:20:58] um you can play you can bet and you could also win
[00:21:02] right well most importantly they've been in business for over 20 years
[00:21:06] over 20 years not a lot of companies can say that it's basically them and
[00:21:09] did michtonal disney disney has been not
[00:21:12] mcdonald's only been around since like 1997 really wow
[00:21:16] yeah it was a different company before that i don't know
[00:21:18] i mean i don't remember i don't remember it prior i can't remember it prior
[00:21:22] first time i remember seeing mcdonald's i was like maybe five or six
[00:21:25] uh you know my dad was around prior to the first time i saw it
[00:21:29] around then yeah i don't really recall it target
[00:21:33] it's been around for about three or four years uh-huh yeah
[00:21:41] you know i mean i guess they're around in the past but computers
[00:21:44] stop nobody has computer anymore so that's not a company but they have the
[00:21:48] surface pro tablet no they don't they don't no they don't have that
[00:21:53] um Bette aside has been a business longer than that
[00:21:57] so it's one of the longest it's one of the longest companies that's ever been
[00:22:01] around yeah and not only have they been around for 20 years but they've been
[00:22:04] around paying winners and even paying some losers too that's the thing about
[00:22:09] winning is you got to you you got to lose
[00:22:13] you got to learn how to lose before you can learn how to win
[00:22:16] you see winners are just losers that kept going
[00:22:19] yep you know uh-huh the the difference between a winner and a
[00:22:24] loser is a loser walks out of the casino at 3 a.m. and says well they got
[00:22:29] me a winner is there until he's 57 years old right
[00:22:34] until he's got his own room at the mandalay bay until he's got his 401k
[00:22:38] chinese girlfriend a duffel bag full of assault rifles
[00:22:50] that's the difference between a winner right you could say he
[00:22:53] steven paddock beat the house yeah steven paddock is around her
[00:22:58] you know yeah the true the real make it great man
[00:23:02] that's what we call them all definitely definitely gonna need a bump stock
[00:23:06] definitely gonna need yeah ray you better kill
[00:23:11] ray this plan better fucking work i'm gonna be pissed
[00:23:15] uh sorry charlie charlie charlie yeah this is my brother ray
[00:23:21] we're taking him to the fucking jason raz concert what the fuck was
[00:23:26] it was a gay concert those people died it was some it was a country
[00:23:30] me how many fucking guys were like died that day like my dumb ass girl
[00:23:34] think we go see that wagon wheel piece of shit
[00:23:38] and then you just get owned yeah just by by making rain man
[00:23:42] just to get killed at a tray atkins concert is that who was i don't know
[00:23:46] trace that's kind of the lessons huh that's kind of the lesson you don't
[00:23:50] let a woman drag you to somewhere you don't want to be because you might get
[00:23:53] killed tell you what to do ever ever stand up for men's rights at the
[00:23:58] aside dot com we've been all getting in the mens rights they offer ads on pretty
[00:24:01] much everything else to including all major sports politics reality tv
[00:24:06] pretty much everything they've got a great mobile app that's easy to use from
[00:24:09] anywhere at school at the library in the middle of an active shooter
[00:24:19] it's synagogue they love using the bet the sia
[00:24:23] they all pray to god and try to make more money
[00:24:26] actually it's considered inappropriate to use your phone it's not
[00:24:29] no it's not yeah i've looked into it no i've looked into it but i was there
[00:24:35] i've been there uh well i've been there also to
[00:24:38] make fun of it only all right to make fun of synagogue
[00:24:42] yeah guys why is it called a sin agar huh
[00:24:46] you ever question that yeah churches and called do bad shit
[00:24:51] it's eteria you know anyways that's the thing you can bet on a bet
[00:24:58] the aside dot com what's better be uh church church synagogue that's right
[00:25:02] bet do you want to bet um i don't know they have live in game wagering so you
[00:25:07] can make plays throughout entire games and events
[00:25:10] and here's where we're going to be betting on this week
[00:25:13] you got the new york international auto show yep
[00:25:21] the big diaper that they give out there's a new chevy vault
[00:25:25] is there i don't know i didn't go this is the first year i didn't go to the
[00:25:28] new york auto show is it over it's over it is absolutely
[00:25:32] over i might become a car owner pretty soon i missed
[00:25:34] i missed the new york auto show and i missed the orchid show at the new york
[00:25:38] botanical gardens we're in the Bronx right um i think the
[00:25:41] brooklyn one one in prospect brooklyn one yeah
[00:25:44] uh nice well either way i missed it i wanted to go see that
[00:25:48] orchid show you ever go see orchids no yeah they're very they're very
[00:25:52] beautiful yeah uh and you should you should become like
[00:25:56] a flower guy maybe what do you mean a flower guy that could be like
[00:25:59] you know magician um now you just get really into
[00:26:02] different kinds of flowers i would i mean if i had like if i had a big house
[00:26:05] i'd have a little greenhouse i mean yeah an apiary and i would like
[00:26:08] spraying them with a little spray bottle miss every room full of
[00:26:11] setting room full of bees and i take my guests in there
[00:26:15] yeah i'll receive my visitors in the apiary place right
[00:26:20] ah charles good to see you only i'm allowed to have a bee suit
[00:26:25] you just adam has to be stung by the bees well i dictate my
[00:26:30] my wishes for the day well if you're nice to the bee
[00:26:34] don't be nice to you adam come into the apiary so i may dictate my wishes
[00:26:39] i don't know i kind of don't want to there's a lot of bees
[00:26:43] i'm ready to dictate my wishes now we can do that i'm wearing one of those
[00:26:50] so big net but you have to observe me naked
[00:26:54] that's what you know that's what i that's what them muslim gals should be
[00:26:58] wearing that's where we're going to be betting on this week
[00:27:00] so when you sign up at pet dsi make sure you use promo code come on 20 so they
[00:27:04] know we send you when you sign up you've got some options you can just play and
[00:27:07] cash out or you can take the bonus money which is like getting a casino
[00:27:10] cop up front before you've played at the tables
[00:27:13] it has a rollover requirement but it's free cash
[00:27:16] so if you're going to be in the sports book which is where we like the gamble
[00:27:19] use promo code come 120 up to a thousand dollars are going to give you 60
[00:27:23] bonus cash or you turn a thousand in the 1600 to play with
[00:27:27] so once again that's bet the aside.com come 120 let's start the show
[00:27:31] i don't appreciate that every time i do realize podcast
[00:27:34] Lewis insults my wallet because he's selling that you know that money clip
[00:27:38] yeah look at your piece of shit wallet look at this cool money clip that we
[00:27:41] have he sells a like a legion of skanks money
[00:27:44] check this out uh this is our latest sponsor it's a wallet chain made out of
[00:27:52] this is directly from the mind of zachamiko
[00:27:56] damn this designer fashion designer zachamiko
[00:28:00] the sniper mmm god damn so he's selling
[00:28:04] Lewis is selling wallets to his poor minions though yeah
[00:28:09] which way is where they gonna put in the wallet well he's yeah right
[00:28:17] yeah yeah us an applebee's gift card i like applebees
[00:28:26] um i haven't been there's one on Fulton street we could
[00:28:29] we could go i've been there so the times oh yeah it's not bad i was there with
[00:28:33] what you get with yeah that's that's where that's where that
[00:28:36] infamous story about the suit happened okay
[00:28:38] really sent the suit back because there was no visible steam coming off of it
[00:28:42] god i got it then i feel right and then asked if it was racial
[00:28:46] after it's he got his suit he asked who you me yeah he's like you think it's
[00:28:50] racial because there's black it's predominantly black people yeah so they
[00:28:53] he lives in brooklyn yeah yeah they give things he thinks that that
[00:28:57] he's getting the bad service at applebees as a white man
[00:29:02] as punishment from the book from the black waitress it out
[00:29:07] as if anyone then doesn't he have to take it yeah
[00:29:10] i mean it's like what do you think like
[00:29:13] what kind of who's mine is i i'm gonna get my reparations right i'm
[00:29:18] going to not my goodness this man is so blue
[00:29:21] cool it probably wasn't even lukewarm it wasn't it was just no visible
[00:29:25] steam it wasn't like yeah it didn't look like the cartoon on the side of an
[00:29:28] oven bed yeah damn but that is it's actually
[00:29:33] they're used to like their food though well that used that full nap of these
[00:29:36] used to be shitty but it's okay now the one that's terrible is the
[00:29:39] Atlantic terminal one okay yeah that one avoid
[00:29:43] yeah that's funny because usually chain food is like i mean ruby tuesday's is
[00:29:47] really bad sometimes i mean i don't know i like red
[00:29:50] robin yeah sometimes you can catch a good chilies
[00:29:54] yeah i'm miss benagans dude those uh those a pillar of the arish
[00:29:59] benagans all gone yeah that's sad yeah how toy toy toy
[00:30:05] welcome no benagans why didn't uh why didn't the
[00:30:09] you day goes have your own benagans i mean olive garden yeah
[00:30:12] yeah it's right all you olive garden or macaroni grail
[00:30:18] yeah there's a million of examples all right now that i think about it how come there's no Italian
[00:30:24] restaurants i'm just saying it tell you first you
[00:30:27] fucking like probably like the second most popular cuisine in america
[00:30:32] right yeah you guys make good food have you ever thought about opening a restaurant
[00:30:38] uh no the only good Italian food is like the authentic Italian food because
[00:30:41] everything like anything like lower like it's like a lot of Italian places
[00:30:47] we'll just put way too much fucking butter and everything yeah as a substitute for actually
[00:30:51] making things that taste good and then you just leave and you can't see out of one eye
[00:30:55] yeah you know it's just like it fucks with your blood pressure
[00:31:00] um but authentic Italian food is very nice it's lighter than what you'd expect
[00:31:06] where do you go for that oh i just i've just had it a handful of times in my life
[00:31:10] yeah yeah like i like the my like how i make a distinction between good
[00:31:14] Italian food and bad Italian food is when i've ordered like gnocchi and if i don't
[00:31:18] like want to die afterwards yeah then it's probably pretty good
[00:31:21] yeah yeah we should go to uh coney island maybe go to tatonos
[00:31:26] yeah little road trip yeah or go up to arthur have
[00:31:29] good arthur have yeah yeah we got the costumes for it we can go up to arthur
[00:31:33] have and then go say what up to jean denopoly
[00:31:35] it's probably oh yeah i assume lives on right on arthur have
[00:31:40] you said you were gonna book him for your birthday party do that he was booked that
[00:31:43] night okay yeah yeah i would love to have had him come do elvis do
[00:31:47] andrew dice clays act yeah you know i can't wait to book him for
[00:31:59] uh that was so funny when he said he was having a black comedy show that is uh
[00:32:03] place who jean oh yeah he said we have a black comedy
[00:32:07] we got black comedy disco we have uh soul review black comedy
[00:32:16] damn ever uh see posters for the black circus
[00:32:19] universe soul service you see those commercials all the time as a kid
[00:32:23] the universe soul circus it's like isn't it had you just steal the soul
[00:32:30] train thing yeah yeah i wonder if i don't have
[00:32:33] there's no white circus i don't know if you can i'm a trademark saying soul a
[00:32:38] certain way you you Italians ever think about coming up with your own
[00:32:41] circus maybe yeah maybe yeah yeah that was a good question right
[00:32:45] sure okay yeah um yeah there's i guess that
[00:32:53] i guess that uh circus is in italy they probably did hagliachi
[00:32:59] yeah right actually the clown yeah man goes to his doctor and he says i'm sad
[00:33:04] uh-huh and he says you know what is that joke for man
[00:33:08] what the pegliachi joke for people do it on twitter all the time
[00:33:12] well man goes to doctor and he says i'm sad he says so cheer you up
[00:33:16] because you pegliachi the clown man says to the doctor but doctor i am
[00:33:20] pegliachi so who clowns are twists clowns are fucking twisted
[00:33:27] as twisted who clowns for the clowns you know yeah
[00:33:32] they're like those you the insane clown posse well but the correct answer after
[00:33:36] that with doctor be like oh well have you heard of castrados
[00:33:39] because that also exists in this time period that's funny that's that that
[00:33:43] might cheer you up we still have balls you fucking a grown man without balls
[00:33:47] sing high yeah yeah just cutting to the audience
[00:33:52] and in fucking like the romantic period in italy or whatever there's a
[00:33:56] castrados singing and they're all just laughing
[00:34:01] yeah i feel better just thinking about that
[00:34:07] he's not laughing at his balls of he sounds like a baby
[00:34:11] he sounds like i'm gonna have another ball he sounds like a little baby because
[00:34:15] we've got these balls of that is a good bit honestly that is very funny bit
[00:34:21] anytime somewhere yeah do you remember that guy on stern that had a really
[00:34:24] high voice uh high pitched eric high high pitched eric and i really
[00:34:28] listened to stern oh it was more of an ona guy oh i was more
[00:34:32] stern i i only listen ona on youtube primarily
[00:34:36] but uh yeah high pitched eric my friend had the
[00:34:45] it is now we're stern used to read from and just make fun of like he just
[00:34:50] make fun of like different passages that's pretty good that a guy that a
[00:34:56] show could be so popular that that guy baba buoy could have his own
[00:35:00] nice his own little thing someone told me to baba buoy uh
[00:35:04] Jordan Peterson when i was at that debate but i didn't do it
[00:35:08] i should have done it oh yelled baba buoy to yell baba buoy yeah that would have
[00:35:11] been so epic i would have done that dude if you had yelled out baba buoy
[00:35:16] Jordan Peterson that would have been yeah dude that would have been just
[00:35:20] honestly so epic it would have been an epic own
[00:35:24] in the in our hell hell world yeah castrados cut their balls off
[00:35:30] voluntarily or they were made to do it no they went to a moyle
[00:35:34] okay yeah i think they were forced to do it forced to do it for comedy though
[00:35:38] if you're a boy that could sing good they didn't want you to your voice to
[00:35:42] drop okay so they cut your balls off okay
[00:35:46] um and then you became an actually you should get
[00:35:49] stopped castrated i think that would be funny for the show
[00:35:52] do you think it would stop eating so much if we castrated no he would eat more
[00:35:56] yeah he'd get fatter yeah he would just always have a little milkshake with
[00:36:00] the crazy straw mmm all right what are you guys up to this week
[00:36:09] stop cool it on your your crazy straw milkshake
[00:36:15] we cut your balls off so you would you wouldn't indulge in your vice of
[00:36:21] pussy too much and now we've you're offsetting it with your love of
[00:36:29] yeah you know something along those lines that's funny
[00:36:38] we got game of thrones only a couple episodes left i don't know i guess bar
[00:36:44] testified or bar testified today everybody's mad at him
[00:36:49] because um it turns out there was collusion so
[00:36:53] congratulations to rachel matt on the team over at m smbc
[00:36:58] yeah we fucking got him and pudend is going to go yeah going down
[00:37:03] yeah um would you uh would you defect or i don't know if it's
[00:37:09] defect but you know would you ever live in in russia in
[00:37:14] china no russia you mean china not china russia
[00:37:18] you mean like yeah really into a dash cam car crash video what i move to china
[00:37:23] is what you're asking me they're not into that kind of stuff
[00:37:26] doing parkour on really tall buildings i would i would move the china
[00:37:29] selfie sticking on if you're asking me if i would move to china the answer is
[00:37:32] yes all right why is it russian dash cam footage
[00:37:36] why is it specifically russia because it like a big part of culture is putting
[00:37:40] a fucking camera on your dashboard oh okay
[00:37:43] yeah they have like all the sickest car accident videos come from russia
[00:37:46] yeah yeah but that's because everybody has a camera
[00:37:49] yeah i mean well because they didn't have capitalism until what like
[00:37:52] you know right around when mcdonald's game not
[00:37:55] 97 97 and so like the idea of like financial
[00:38:00] 60 they don't have any concept of like hard work for yourself
[00:38:04] mmm there's only hard work for the state and that's gone
[00:38:07] okay so like it's like how do you make money yeah
[00:38:10] you become prostitute on camera and also watch friend die in car accident
[00:38:15] mm-hmm those days you're in an industry yeah right
[00:38:19] and the most noble way to make money is you have a video of your friend's
[00:38:24] brain come out of car and then you get the 50 million views on live leak
[00:38:30] and then you monetize the video and that is like being a farmer
[00:38:37] that's like that is like being wrong john g rocker fella
[00:38:41] erosia is too a bunch people just sold their farm equipment and got dashcans
[00:38:45] yeah interesting that's i am a prostitute and also i have
[00:38:50] gopro strapped to my head and i walk out into traffic every day
[00:38:55] praying to become like bill gates praying to become capitalist hero like bill
[00:39:01] gate you saw an old lady dying you're like kids
[00:39:05] good news the christmas is coming this year for once
[00:39:13] yeah those fuckers don't know how to drive right
[00:39:16] uh that's probably the Russian women yeah
[00:39:21] do you know about that hole in the center of the earth in uh turk ministan
[00:39:25] it's called like uh dot of srom yeah yeah come on bro
[00:39:29] my mom's like you in turk minis the hole in the center
[00:39:33] a big fiery hole yeah what is it what is it what we say
[00:39:38] it just goes down to like the core of the earth yeah i'll find you picture of it
[00:39:42] it's called like uh it's like with a meteor head or something
[00:39:45] i think so yeah yeah they call it the gateway to hell
[00:39:48] hey thanks very cool do people jump in it no
[00:39:52] i'd like to kill myself there i want to watch where those like history
[00:39:56] channel documentaries that comes on in the middle of the day about like
[00:40:06] today on the weapons that will someday kill you on the history channel
[00:40:12] the secret nazi weapons oh yeah like that bell that bell that
[00:40:17] someone's ghost nice yeah i wish they discovered this
[00:40:22] i wish i wish the war went on a little longer yeah i know
[00:40:25] it's not my grandfather got killed i love it like
[00:40:27] because you know there is a mitchell and web look about the skulls are we the
[00:40:30] badies yeah i know but it's it is also like the nazis were like
[00:40:34] we are also trying to find a way to get into touch with the devil to maybe
[00:40:41] trying to literally open up the gates to hell to maybe
[00:40:45] speak with Satan himself yeah it's networking they're into networking
[00:40:51] yeah that's so funny yeah there's uh yeah there's a bunch of those
[00:40:58] documentaries about the occult and naziism yeah
[00:41:02] yeah yeah that shit really makes my dick hard almost as hard as it gets when i
[00:41:10] chew.com what is that website what is that what
[00:41:16] does that guy just say that guy just say blue chew
[00:41:20] what the hell is that what is what is this blue stuff that this guy is talking
[00:41:25] about well it's bel eu as in bleh oh sorry bel ue
[00:41:32] we had a little technical difficulty there as i remember kind of spelled blue
[00:41:36] um you're on your phone too cool yeah i just got a notification
[00:41:41] how about i say uh someone like my review of the beach bum
[00:41:46] starring matthew mcconnay oh i'm on a new social media
[00:41:51] networking platform called letterboxed and it's where you
[00:41:55] write all the movies you see and then you give a review
[00:41:59] and then you can see your friends reviews of all that's fun i'm gonna start doing
[00:42:02] that you should get on it dude yeah exactly i joined it yesterday
[00:42:06] yeah that'll make me feel like i'm being productive when i watch six movies in
[00:42:10] a day exactly that's exactly what i've been trying to do yeah because i
[00:42:13] normally feel terrible anyways if you go to blue chew.com
[00:42:18] it's a website similar to that one it's also fun to use
[00:42:22] that's bel eu e c h e w dot com and if you like sex you'll like blue chew.com
[00:42:29] why is it pornography no it'll help you look at pornography
[00:42:33] because it's a male performance enhancement for the bedroom
[00:42:39] so it's like steroids but for having sex which steroids make you shittier
[00:42:45] sex apparently make they turn you into both genders
[00:42:50] you grow plus you don't need sex anymore you just use the power of both genders
[00:42:55] to lift more weights uh blue chew offers uh the first
[00:43:01] chewables with the same active ingredients
[00:43:05] as viagra and seales which is what i need because it's hard for me to swallow
[00:43:11] pills yeah right so i need a chewable and with a candy flavor
[00:43:16] chewables can work faster than pills up to twice as fast and they
[00:43:20] i guess we have to emphasize can because there's a possibility that they will
[00:43:25] work slower twice as fast oh twice as pill as
[00:43:28] as fast chewables from blue chew can be taken on a fuller empty stomach
[00:43:32] and the online physician consultation is free
[00:43:35] so it's cheaper than the other two it only takes a few minutes to connect with
[00:43:39] the blue chew dot com affiliated physician and if you qualify
[00:43:43] you get prescribed online quickly there's no in-person doctor visit no awkward
[00:43:48] conversation no waiting in line of pharmacy
[00:43:50] you don't even have to ask women to have sex anymore you just press a gun to their
[00:43:54] temple and do what you want right plucher dot com encourages raping women
[00:44:00] no sorry they don't know that that was that not
[00:44:04] the sirer ronk says they don't encourage it
[00:44:06] emphatically they do not they don't yeah so i'm 100
[00:44:10] disc i'm saying i'm i'm bared that the wrong way
[00:44:13] yes it's yeah it's be responsible at first glance it looked like it said that
[00:44:18] they but what is it actually says please do not say that we encourage
[00:44:22] people to rape and we did not and we did i took it back in fact i didn't say that
[00:44:27] if you you misheard me earlier if you think that i said that
[00:44:31] blue chew ships directly your your door and discreet packaging
[00:44:34] mm-hmm it's a big uh it's a big inflatable
[00:44:38] uh donut okay you know everybody's like where's this guy going the beach to have
[00:44:47] that guy must be a cool beach bum on his way to
[00:44:52] to rahobith to meet other guys to get to be gay because your dicks got to get
[00:44:57] harder to have gay sex to get to penetrate a man
[00:45:01] yeah they say whatever yeah it takes a little something special to get all the
[00:45:04] way into a man's ass strong enough for a man that's why i need blue chew dot com
[00:45:10] um the ships directly are adored and discreet packaging the chewables from
[00:45:15] blue chew are prescribed online by a doctor and made in the USA
[00:45:18] if you confidence in bed every time you and your partner will love it
[00:45:22] so it shouldn't do it and here's a great deal for you guys
[00:45:24] visit blue chew dot com and get your first order free when you use promo code
[00:45:28] comtown just pay five dollars shipping that's bluley
[00:45:37] let's start the show oh let's start the show can you opt out of the discreet
[00:45:42] packaging yeah yeah i mean it's not very discreet i get it so no
[00:45:46] yeah it says custom custom medicine rx yeah i hope people think it's
[00:45:52] steroids i hope the mailman's like oh i better deliver this guy's mail or
[00:45:55] will beat me up right right i want the people
[00:45:59] stealing my packages to know that my dick gets hard yeah
[00:46:02] and if they do it again it's going to be consequences
[00:46:05] yeah i was talking about hfs the other day with somebody
[00:46:09] which is a radio station in in dc in the 90s
[00:46:13] that uh one of the DJs just got jonnie riggs he got he lost his job because he
[00:46:18] got arrested for like possession of like heroin and child porn
[00:46:22] uh which is a phony combo you know yeah just trying to chill out and
[00:46:28] watch some child pornography yeah yeah usually on one of those things i
[00:46:32] know i try to relax to some child porn yeah
[00:46:36] um you know i mean that's what that's what killed cobeine is mixing the two
[00:46:40] yeah you can't do it it's a toxic mix chris forlary mix it too
[00:46:44] but i had to look it up because i couldn't remember his
[00:46:47] heroin or whatever but like yeah so he like was trying to say that he wasn't
[00:46:53] looking at child porn that like somebody had just sent him child porn
[00:46:56] from like a like somebody who's like fucking with him like
[00:46:58] emailed it to him and then they found the email on his computer
[00:47:02] but then like every other defense of everything he was charged with is like
[00:47:05] equally suspicious right you know he's like i was just trying to buy some
[00:47:10] like stimulants on on ebay or whatever and turns out they're fucking
[00:47:15] anabolic steroids unbeknownst to me i was just trying to buy some like
[00:47:19] supplements for weightlifting which is like
[00:47:23] that's a lie yeah no you you bought fucking steroids on ebay yeah and then
[00:47:27] that got the police to come to his house
[00:47:29] the police came to his house and they searched his house and he's like yeah
[00:47:32] they found uh some vials from like years from
[00:47:35] years and years ago i've never used any kind of drug at all and there's trace
[00:47:39] amounts of like and it's like there's no way there's
[00:47:42] empty vials of fucking heroin sitting around your house from years ago
[00:47:46] right that just doesn't like it doesn't make any sense right
[00:47:50] you're gonna have to go out of your way to fucking save something like that
[00:47:53] yeah how do you be a functional pedophile though
[00:47:56] if you find that you're oh there's a lot of really
[00:47:59] high functioning pedophiles out there yeah i guess right right you gotta go to
[00:48:04] Hollywood it's a spectrum fortune 500 CEOs yeah
[00:48:07] right now in LA there's just pedophiles getting off the bus being like
[00:48:11] yeah they're trying to work their way to the top you get you get a job in the
[00:48:15] pedophile mailroom right right showing that you're
[00:48:18] that you're uh you know you're a team player that you're gung ho you want to
[00:48:22] work your way to the top um you're willing to cover up
[00:48:25] really disgusting heinous crimes that's how it works right yeah
[00:48:30] it's like showing up to congress and you say oh i want to be a senator
[00:48:34] right so i'm going to get a job as a janitor and then you work your way up
[00:48:38] the senator okay same thing it's good to know
[00:48:42] right no no where we talking about janitors we're talking about uh pedophiles
[00:48:46] that's where the janitor and senator sounds to similar right yeah
[00:48:50] similar jobs right janitor is the female version of a senator
[00:48:55] right because of trash nancy nancy trash pussy Pelosi
[00:49:02] yeah she's a fucking she's a real piece of garbage if you asked me
[00:49:05] garbage woman yeah yeah so it's uh fine stein
[00:49:12] diane yeah yeah she's trash too was with warren trash trash trash
[00:49:18] aoc trash do you ever watch aoc make like broccoli on instagram
[00:49:22] no she goes live you see what yeah you see it there are tits come out
[00:49:26] and there should be a law saying we have to be
[00:49:30] able to see her tits yeah she wants to be fucking
[00:49:33] this lady congress or whatever have a boyfriend yeah i know if she wants a
[00:49:38] boyfriend then we should see her damn i know her boyfriend looks like such a
[00:49:42] loser that guy fucking rules yeah he's just like
[00:49:45] yep you know hit the jackpot i know he's fucking stick around long enough
[00:49:51] i knew this bitch would pay the rent right one there another
[00:49:54] i gotta listen to her blah blah blah blah blah blah but seriously
[00:50:02] congratulations to him and thanks for listening to the show yeah congratulations
[00:50:06] yeah thanks for uh sticking up for adam thanks for sticking up for me
[00:50:11] when uh in the white house when when trump starts going off on adam
[00:50:16] he's the worst one on the show yeah he doesn't contribute anything and he
[00:50:20] tries to when he tries to it ruins it ruins the energy
[00:50:23] he never listens he lives on too much he's always looking at his phone and then he
[00:50:27] adds something and it's something that was already said a second ago
[00:50:30] and he can see his head of contribution and then he'll just derail the show
[00:50:34] after that i don't think that's fair personally he also he
[00:50:38] he looks the president said that but i don't think he's a legitimate president
[00:50:43] this is what people have said to me i don't even listen to it i mean sure i'm
[00:50:46] listening to it right now but it's in the molar report that was good
[00:50:49] oh yeah right he's with molar report just says that he complained about adam
[00:50:56] yeah so i don't get it stops a perfect compliment a perfect sidekick i don't
[00:51:02] know what this jews bring to the table mmm
[00:51:05] i would love it if the president listened to our podcast i would love it too yeah
[00:51:08] that would be awesome yeah you know what i'm a huge fan of
[00:51:13] is this show he stops watching satin at live and just listens to come oh wait
[00:51:17] we're if trump listened to choppo and he was really into it
[00:51:21] oh if he liked it yeah you know it's a guilty pleasure for me
[00:51:25] i find a lot of the humor is similar to my own
[00:51:29] even if i don't agree with the politics he listened to just a minute or two of it
[00:51:32] it seems like it's kind of like these are my kind of guys yep
[00:51:36] Felix is a charismatic guy i can't deny it yeah he might be a jew but he's funny
[00:51:43] um but seriously folks we love to see it
[00:51:47] trump's not anti-semito i think i think he's an anti-most things
[00:51:52] but yeah no you're just trying to take that one for yourself
[00:51:56] i don't think that i don't think he particularly likes the jews
[00:52:01] he likes israel but i don't think that's anonymous i don't think that those
[00:52:06] two things are synonymous i think he likes israel because they kill
[00:52:09] Arab people which is why jews like israel no that's not
[00:52:15] maybe some of them not certainly know when you know
[00:52:21] we're a friend of yours imagine if israel was like next to scotland
[00:52:26] uh-huh and gaza was just they just threw scotters people
[00:52:30] sit down in scotland these fucking souks
[00:52:36] fencipere is like that's not a sure animal yeah
[00:52:40] scotish people don't exist there is no such thing as a scotish person
[00:52:45] next question um my name is brian and i'm in fourth grade
[00:52:49] and no you're not in fourth grade you belong to the fourth grade
[00:52:53] there is a difference between the two next question
[00:52:57] ben shapiro owns third grade you mean the fact that lager is
[00:53:05] real uh can we have recess yet you can't have recess because you have not
[00:53:09] earned recess recess is for boys and girls who work hard
[00:53:13] working hard is something that i've done my entire life
[00:53:16] that doesn't change the fact that next question
[00:53:20] can i go to the bathroom depends what gender are you
[00:53:26] yeah he rules yeah yeah he's uh he's great
[00:53:31] i call him ben shapupu yeah why is that because i think all of his ideas are
[00:53:42] nikor are there any of those guys like the the idw guys that you kind of
[00:53:46] respect was idw the intellectual dark web
[00:53:50] oh i mean i don't know who's included in that it's fucking like
[00:54:03] people say idw that's a that's an acronym yeah
[00:54:07] no they sure do well my question is how you're going to call it the dark web
[00:54:13] when you ain't got no black people right you know
[00:54:16] they have that sheriff sheriff yeah they have the sheriff oh they
[00:54:20] and uh damn my man erase and sheriff cluck just because he got a dumb ass
[00:54:23] head on i'm saying he's here he's here looking
[00:54:27] stupid the real intellectual my man out here looking like
[00:54:31] yo boy samity sam the real intellectual dork web
[00:54:35] is you got bernie mac sedrick the entertainer
[00:54:39] you got uh fucking dl hugley and the fourth one it's where that his name is
[00:54:52] yeah oh dl hugley oh yeah he's on the down low
[00:54:55] down low hugley yeah i don't want to call me that because i'm gay
[00:55:02] you know why they be calling me that because i'm a gay ass man
[00:55:07] once you understand these things yeah i was trying to think of gay red dead
[00:55:12] characters the other day but only got two like arthur could be like i'm
[00:55:16] gay boy and then and then dutch you have uh i blew a man arthur
[00:55:21] no yeah instead of i have a plan but i couldn't think of a third one and
[00:55:25] you need three to tweet it uh the old guy what's hosea hosea yeah
[00:55:29] whoa he's like back in my day we used to fuck man for horses
[00:55:34] now listen dutch i can't remember a single line of dialogue from the game
[00:55:38] uh yeah there's oh but there's not that much it's just yeah people there's no
[00:55:43] dialogue you're you're pretty good guy arthur he's like no i'm
[00:55:45] i'm a fucking faggot if you really need to fuck a gay ass faggot
[00:55:50] nothing good about me i'm just **** faggot if you guys knew the thoughts that
[00:55:56] i have going on in my head yeah you wouldn't respect me
[00:56:01] yeah i should finish that game i also got to go buy a shirt today yeah i
[00:56:04] know you gotta i gotta go to gap and get you know because i have one
[00:56:09] nice plain white shirt from gap that i've been for like probably seven years
[00:56:14] then the rest of my shirts are all just **** you know it's just like dumb
[00:56:17] novelty shirts yeah yeah what about jay crew well you know what i'm
[00:56:20] thinking it's like you know i don't want to be one of those guys
[00:56:25] because i am 30 yeah and then you know when you're like
[00:56:29] 27 you dress like a retard and you see the guys that are like 42 that still
[00:56:33] dress like retard you're like what are you doing uh-huh it's like at a certain
[00:56:36] point i just i'm not allowed to dress like a retard should we start wearing suits
[00:56:40] to record the podcast um yeah big ass treat this like
[00:56:44] treat this like a **** job you know yeah not take the **** seriously finally
[00:56:49] go to those stores that have suits for like 60
[00:56:51] dollars that people wear the shirt joseph banks joseph banks yeah
[00:56:56] it's like you buy one suit you get 17 seats for free
[00:56:59] have you ever been there yeah i've been there once i got my suit for my
[00:57:02] you're gonna like to shut my dick i guarantee that
[00:57:06] wait that guy i thought that guy died no he shot straight on marina
[00:57:10] that's no but he disappeared when that was a smart business move
[00:57:15] wow yeah i didn't really i thought he died but he's alive but he just
[00:57:20] fade into the background of the trail on marina yeah because they're like
[00:57:24] jorge zimmer well you can't be on it there's so many like jewish lawyers
[00:57:31] that i like just lay low for a little bit uh-huh
[00:57:35] jorge doctor zimmer uh doctor i'm yes i'm docked at jorge zimmer
[00:57:41] yeah it would be hilarious if fucking michael brown was killed by a man named
[00:57:46] i'm just like what do you mean i can't be in the commercial
[00:57:52] it's my damn company you're gonna like to eat your pizza
[00:57:56] head of pediatrics george george zimmer man yeah i was watching some like
[00:58:03] body positive thing it's i forget what it was a commercial for but it's like
[00:58:07] four extremely fat women almost completely naked and they're
[00:58:12] you know it'll retreat together getting mad at
[00:58:16] the anonymous people that left comments on their profile you know it's like
[00:58:20] yeah and you know i don't know but it's like it's it's for a company and like
[00:58:25] it like people at large are too stupid to see that
[00:58:29] or read that as simply as they should right and uh
[00:58:34] like i'm just waiting for and it's gonna happen there's gonna be like a
[00:58:37] mik donald is commercial this is more of a bispace people women
[00:58:41] and it's like mcdonald's we made you beautiful
[00:58:47] it's like because we've cared about you the entire time
[00:58:50] and it's yeah just some fat bitch with nine big shoddlers you're welcome
[00:58:56] a grimace with fucking eyeliner grimace body positive work yeah yeah
[00:59:02] grimace wearing a bikini yeah grimace grimace
[00:59:06] just showing off her stretch marks all over the place
[00:59:10] i don't have to just fuck black eyes anymore
[00:59:13] now everyone everyone has to call me beautiful
[00:59:17] and not just a man with three gold teeth
[00:59:25] mcdonald's get your big ass in get your big ass from cheeseburgers
[00:59:30] we all know that it's beautiful it's mcdonald's it's mcdonald's you're gonna
[00:59:39] uh oh damn that's great that'd be so funny
[00:59:41] mcdonald's body positive it's positive in
[00:59:45] months time it's real even beautiful this whole time
[00:59:49] it's going that is going to happen it will happen in the next five years
[00:59:53] yeah for sure once again nik is always right about everything
[00:59:57] you know what now that i think about it that's true you're absolutely right
[01:00:00] yeah yeah yeah maybe you need some smarter people to hang out with
[01:00:04] yeah you know you're very bright guy maybe you just like join mensa or something
[01:00:08] that'd be cool yeah just a room full of guys who
[01:00:11] doing uh tented fingers yeah like daman from shark
[01:00:15] day just everyone pondering yeah existence in the universe
[01:00:20] yeah well what is mensa do people actually join mensa or is it just a
[01:00:25] joke no i think so that's so pathetic or like a high it's for high iq
[01:00:29] askinazi jus yeah no i think yeah i think it's for people that do rubic scoops
[01:00:34] fast speed cubers yeah i think that's how you get on i think that's just kind of
[01:00:39] cool actually yeah will smith is can do it
[01:00:42] yeah well it's just i mean in episode the fresh prince it's just
[01:00:45] memorizing like you know it's a like you look at a cube and then there's a
[01:00:51] certain way that you got to turn it's just memorizing
[01:00:54] shit right yeah it's it's an algorithm or whatever
[01:00:57] this yeah great all right folks we got funny monsa
[01:01:02] monday do oh we're done here no we're not done i just want to let them know
[01:01:06] oh you let them know yeah so we got uh not this upcoming monday but the 13th
[01:01:12] is next funny mons and then we're moving to every
[01:01:15] monday except the first monday the month so the 13th 20th and 27th and come on
[01:01:19] everybody we got funny mons we got a lot of funny laughs
[01:01:23] a lot of funny funny women and if the bartender there is mean to you just
[01:01:27] give her another chance she's a little rough around the edges yeah
[01:01:30] she's nice she's our buddy take care take care of her
[01:01:33] if you're at a show yeah don't forget to tip i uh i will no longer be attending
[01:01:38] the live shows why not nice i don't know i feel like it
[01:01:41] yeah you don't have to do anything you don't want to fucking i'm not doing
[01:01:44] anything i'm gaming come on nick you gotta do it now
[01:01:48] why i'm getting into jake sappoles i don't care yeah fuck these people
[01:01:52] honestly i know you know what man i've been like
[01:01:57] back in the gym because they get playing video games yeah
[01:02:00] i don't fucking i don't want to do shit else i like the tired
[01:02:03] yeah yeah i'm tired dude i'm tired of playing video games i don't want
[01:02:14] i got fucking i got you know there's a new grant to reesmo
[01:02:18] fucking update yeah they added a a super league or something
[01:02:23] what is the the racing funny car racing what is that
[01:02:29] they're like drag cars that why is it called funny car
[01:02:33] because i think that the there's like no part of the
[01:02:37] the shell of the car is like stock i don't know i don't know why they're called
[01:02:40] funny cars but it's drag racing where it's like some
[01:02:45] carbon fake shell on the top of they don't have doors
[01:02:50] no the whole front of the car like the whole shell lifts off
[01:02:53] oh you just you have to lift the whole thing up yeah i don't know what the
[01:02:56] yeah i i don't really know much about fucking drag racing or
[01:03:00] because they do there's all sorts of like weird motorsports like there's like
[01:03:03] mud pulling or whatever you see that there's like mud
[01:03:07] yeah no do you need a new hobby though me yeah no why i don't know
[01:03:15] um darvaza crater is the crater that i was talking about earlier
[01:03:19] yeah yeah that's what that's what a funny car does the whole
[01:03:22] fucking the whole thing comes up yeah that is pretty funny
[01:03:25] yeah now that now that i see it i get it dude it's pretty funny
[01:03:29] Mike you got any plugs you want to just uh my podcast the sit down comes out
[01:03:34] every week yeah it's fun we're talking about
[01:03:38] uh crime stuff we're all kinds of organized crime
[01:03:41] i call that podcast uh mat and the other guy the other oh you do yeah
[01:03:45] why because it's mad and then i i'm like oh yeah
[01:03:48] kind of doesn't have any on it racines on that one too right
[01:03:51] oh wow yeah i totally forgot that racemas on matt's podcast
[01:03:56] who's mad matt's the adam of his podcast oh
[01:04:00] yeah uh but i think probably worse adam's uh uh
[01:04:06] funny stand up though we you know we did some show yeah we did some shows in the
[01:04:10] midwest he did really you know yeah he's like a funny guy i don't know why
[01:04:14] thank you i don't know why i'm so bad at this job but no it's my job
[01:04:19] but uh i gotta say also publicly if we're sucking each other's dicks
[01:04:23] racine one of the best to do it one of the best in new york city that's not
[01:04:25] true if you see him come to your town you got to buy tickets and go see him
[01:04:29] on the hack yeah we got to set up some more dates i got lazy
[01:04:32] racine and i are gonna be where do you want us to come shoot shoot us a little
[01:04:36] message or something i look i think we're looking at a little southern
[01:04:39] run and then maybe a little pacific northwest run if you guys want racine
[01:04:44] and i had come to your town co-headlining yeah a lot of fun time in
[01:04:47] wisconsin chicago we'll do it again we cheated on uh deb and we cheated on
[01:04:51] both of our girlfriends because we got the who were to come and just master
[01:04:55] pay and we did not touch her so yeah right technically i think in their
[01:05:00] book it's cheating in our book in their book yeah it was a nice
[01:05:02] night they can't even read we compensated her for her
[01:05:06] they can't even read we compensated the who were for her time so what do you guys
[01:05:10] do on the road well i go to like the whaling museum
[01:05:14] no racine and i uh higher prostitutes to master pay in front of us
[01:05:18] i'll try out like a kebab place somebody told me about and then that's it
[01:05:22] we are doing anything else i if there's if there's a novelty museum i'll go to
[01:05:26] it i went to a strip club in many aplas because you weren't you didn't stick
[01:05:29] around but last night i went i think it was the worst part about australia is
[01:05:32] that there was like no time to fucking do anything yeah i saw this
[01:05:35] the Sydney Opera House for like two seconds yeah we me and nick walk down
[01:05:40] yeah it's a hell of a building i gotta say yeah very cool nice looks like the
[01:05:44] future stah doesn't really like doing stuff right
[01:05:47] no he likes having a good meal yeah that was the only thing he wanted to
[01:05:51] get me was go to that steakhouse to cost a thousand dollars it did our meal was
[01:05:56] like a thousand it was it obscenely expensive but it
[01:05:59] was really good yeah i will say that um i hit up a guy in
[01:06:03] Huntsville alabama but um Huntsville that's what we call the right
[01:06:07] right that's what i said i don't know if i'm a big Huntsville
[01:06:10] draw are you Huntsville draw i don't know you got a big
[01:06:14] audience down there maybe we got some Huntsville heads yeah we're on the show
[01:06:17] hit us up let us know she do that room in Hattiesburg
[01:06:20] okay have you ever done that show no it's great
[01:06:23] okay it does you know you wouldn't think that Hattiesburg Mississippi would
[01:06:26] have like a fucking great comedy show but they do
[01:06:29] okay i don't know the name of it yeah i i can't recall
[01:06:33] the name of it so hard to string dates together yeah i mean it's really
[01:06:36] where someone else would do it for us yeah i'll do it
[01:06:39] well these are all things we can discuss after the show
[01:06:42] uh uh at other points in our lives yeah all right
[01:06:48] should i get into soap operas soap operas yeah
[01:06:51] why i don't know what about soap box we'll find you sir i don't know
[01:06:57] soap box what racers yeah what's all these drag racing questions you got
[01:07:01] i got i'm trying to get into drag racing i'm looking at buying a
[01:07:04] buying a new bike guy and so i'm getting interested in automotive
[01:07:08] she do it she can hold nova i'm going to get a
[01:07:11] drag racing wagon yeah so i can have enough space for
[01:07:15] you know the kids take them take them to practice
[01:07:20] you know there's not 24 hours in a day it's not enough time for me i want to get
[01:07:23] one of those like you know how like the in drag racing will have the the parachute
[01:07:27] on the back of the car to slow it down but just use that at every
[01:07:37] oh sorry sorry sorry i just got really in the zone
[01:07:42] i can't live i get myself to go too fast oh we didn't talk about the sonic
[01:07:46] movie that's coming out oh i didn't watch the trailer everyone's mad about it
[01:07:49] yeah because sonic everyone laughed at christian for
[01:07:52] complaining about sonic's appearance changing
[01:07:55] and now everyone in the world has turned into unironically christian
[01:07:59] christian yeah complaining about sonic's appearance like it fucking matters
[01:08:03] yeah pussies like he looks so weird okay yeah
[01:08:08] it's a car shoot you know also looks weird the fucking teenage
[01:08:11] mutant ninja turtles yeah that looked weird nobody fucking cared well they
[01:08:15] have a new one coming out where like uh they're they look pretty different and
[01:08:18] raffael yeah and they changed the goals i remember mike larens getting mad about
[01:08:22] i know i know i know i'm gonna be starting
[01:08:26] it's not that's not what you're supposed to look like it's like who mike who are
[01:08:29] you talking to yeah who's the audience for these complaints yeah
[01:08:34] there's a lot of people that there's a lot of people that who are an audience
[01:08:38] of like his comedy yeah he's not a bad comedian no i mean he's like he's
[01:08:43] you know he made a comment about bernie that kind of bothered me
[01:08:46] i mean i'm i'm i've been off facebook for like
[01:08:49] almost five years now so i mean i haven't had any exposure yeah
[01:08:52] but i remember i would see him and he'd post on facebook he'd be like
[01:08:56] it's an absolute travesty that the new batman doesn't deal with themes of
[01:09:00] you know it's like right who like who is this for right a lot of adults that
[01:09:05] care about that shit no he came to my house for christmas in 2008
[01:09:09] and then my mom was like i'm gonna send him a care package because he's just so
[01:09:13] poor so she got him a box with like toothpaste and
[01:09:17] shampoo and soap and stuff and i gave it to him and he's like
[01:09:20] he goes oh tell your mom thanks like how about you tell her thanks
[01:09:24] yeah that's fucked up now you can wash your hair you can write a fucking email
[01:09:28] yeah or like send a card fuck you mike lores and don't talk shit about
[01:09:32] bernie sanders exactly i'm gonna public for we love him
[01:09:37] all right so i think that's the show thank you mike for coming on thanks for
[01:09:41] having me guys all right prayers up for stop yeah