Cum Town | Regular | 05/09/2019
[00:00:00] Okay. You got, we're restarting. You got to get something out of your system. Yeah,
[00:00:07] you got to get certain words out of your system. Certain words as Bill Clinton. A certain word
[00:00:13] that I like to refer to is chicken soup for the racist. That would be a good book to public.
[00:00:20] And then you open up the pages. It's just one nine hundred pages. Yeah. And we're
[00:00:24] hand-word over and over again. Yeah. I'll tell you, boy, that's like chicken soup. It's like
[00:00:29] a fried chicken soup, baby. Yeah, fried chicken soup would probably be pretty good. Well,
[00:00:36] it wouldn't maintain its crispiness. If it was in, yeah, maybe if you're a bad cook,
[00:00:41] like Adam Bad Cook, Freeland. Not a bad cook. I'm pretty good cook. No. That was your nickname
[00:00:47] in the Navy. That's true. What's up? How you doing? Bad cook? You're bad at cooking.
[00:00:54] Also, you're gay. That's what they would say to you. They would call me gay and bad. In
[00:01:00] the 1940s Navy. Mm-hmm. You know? Well, cooking was a term in the 40s that meant putting a
[00:01:07] man's cock and his balls in your mouth at the same time. No, that's what being in the Navy
[00:01:11] means. Oh, interesting. Okay. So all everyone to get into the Navy had to be able to fit
[00:01:18] a standard size cock and balls in their mouth at once. That makes sense. Yeah. Because that
[00:01:25] way it's like the balls are like extra oxygen. If you have to go underwater. Yeah. If you
[00:01:30] have space for balls, you have space for extra air. I like to imagine that phrase, a curse
[00:01:36] like a sailor comes from like sailors coming in for shore leave and they're staying in
[00:01:39] hotels in New York or whatever. And flea week. Flea week. Yeah. And then it was like a family
[00:01:43] from Minneapolis staying in like the hotel room next to them. And they just hear two
[00:01:46] sailors in the room over being like, Oh, fuck. Fuck me. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Boy, those fellows
[00:01:55] really curse a lot. Those fellows love cursing. Yeah, fuck me. That's probably all they're doing.
[00:02:02] But my hands reading the Bible. Otherwise, my hands. Fuck, fuck. When is fleet? We put your
[00:02:10] whole shit in my ass. Like you don't know. Like you don't have it marked down. Yeah, like you
[00:02:14] don't have no I don't have X's and then it's I like day wakes up. I like waving a little
[00:02:19] handkerchief at the boys. Thank you for you dipped in your ass for everything you've
[00:02:24] hoping the out of the seas for our country. You know, is that what the handkerchief was?
[00:02:30] I sailors. It's actually the same day as the gay pride parade and the gays chase the sailors
[00:02:36] all throughout the city. That's that's the origin of the gay pride parade. That's a
[00:02:42] fun tradition. Yeah, very horny, sexually forward. How about feet week? And it's just for people
[00:02:49] that that are in defeat. That's good too. That'd be good. It's like pride. But for, you know,
[00:02:53] guys that just have, you know, like a file on their computer. These guys are for a ride.
[00:03:00] Now let me ask you question. Yeah. These guys are like feet. They fully bust thinking about
[00:03:06] and looking at feet. I think there are degrees. I think some people just like sucking on toes,
[00:03:12] some people like to fuck the feet like a pussy like what I'm saying is put together and use
[00:03:16] them like a pussy. Could these guys look at a picture of just feet and come? I don't
[00:03:22] know. I think the real hoods on our horn. You are. I used to remember, I used to look at
[00:03:26] and I've told it before, but just a drawing of breasts on a placard for how to examine
[00:03:30] yourself for breast. Of course. But you were also a young lad. Well, you're jacking off
[00:03:35] to the cancer, not the breasts. Yeah. You're jacking off the idea of a woman's life being
[00:03:39] ended. You're just checking the trauma of being safe. Go safe in that picture. It's
[00:03:46] not someone that already has cancer. Why would you check for cancer if you already had
[00:03:50] it to be so there's a little touch. Adam checks for cancer every day. Adam's Texas
[00:03:57] and said he thought he had cancer. I think I have cancer right now. So we'll see. Do
[00:04:01] you guys want to see it? No, no, neither do I. We don't want to see it and we don't care
[00:04:05] right here. There's literally nothing there. This. Oh, up there. I can't see you have
[00:04:10] a little bowl there. That's a mold. It's a regular edges and it's kind of wet. That's
[00:04:16] because I came on it. No, look at the edges, dude. It's not. I'm not looking at your fucked
[00:04:21] up whatever. I'm going to go to Bobby Buka dermatology tomorrow dermatologist to the
[00:04:25] stars. He'll sort me out. That no by Bobby Buka. Well, he's he cured my adult. My medical
[00:04:33] grade dandruff. Wow. So now he's going to cure my cancer. I've had dandruff my whole life
[00:04:37] and I'll never do anything. Honestly, I got rid of it in a week. Like, oh, there's shit
[00:04:42] on your shirt. It's like who cares. But the problem for me was that my skin was fucked
[00:04:46] up on my face and it was related to the dandruff. Now my skin is clear. Looks beautiful. No,
[00:04:52] it doesn't. You have pock marks and pock marks from from acne, but there's I don't
[00:04:55] mind the pock marks, but your skin isn't that good. It's fine. No, but I used to have that
[00:04:59] like that rosacea. Yeah, it was horrible. You still do. I don't have it anymore. No,
[00:05:05] you still look bad. I don't have it anymore. You don't look bad, but you don't look good.
[00:05:09] You don't look good. You don't look great. Okay. Well, it's just I'm just saying I'm
[00:05:16] not because of the dandruff. It's only because of genetics. Yes. And, you know, everything
[00:05:21] that I can't deal with, but the dandruff I can and salt and that's thanks to Bobby
[00:05:26] Buke, a dermatologist to the stars. You guys should go see my wife. Who else got me? What
[00:05:34] are the sign heads and Bobby Buke is off? He did a keratops plastic surgery. Very nice.
[00:05:40] He did an Italian dermatologist. Yeah, he's done a plenty of bottom surgeries. It's crazy
[00:05:48] to keratops, but just make around. Has he done anything in like 40 years? My sister is he
[00:05:52] is all the time at a restaurant. If he didn't have red hair, like people would have just
[00:05:56] forgotten about him. Yeah, that's true. He's in Vegas though. Doing what? Residency.
[00:06:03] The amazing Jonathan's act. Yeah. Yeah. He's cashed out, dude. He's like rich as hell.
[00:06:08] No. Yeah. We get those get that Vegas residents. Do you think we can get a Vegas residency?
[00:06:12] My parents always asked me to. Okay. Think about this. Think about your residency at the
[00:06:18] time. I'm not going. Guys, hold on. Let's not roll anything out. I spent my childhood
[00:06:23] leaving Las Vegas. Listen to me, man. Yeah. Okay. Nicholas, it seems crazy right now.
[00:06:29] But what do you think? What do you think? What do you? The residencies are all just nostalgia
[00:06:33] for gay bullshit. People's childhood. Pretty spears. Lindy on. So in 30 years, a bunch
[00:06:40] of these fucking morons listening right now, what do you think they're going to be nostalgic
[00:06:44] for? They'll be dead. They'll be dead. So when they're going to Vegas, nothing to do
[00:06:50] a podcast. So I know one ever quits recording. Yeah. Who in radio ever quit? Yeah, but our
[00:06:57] bubble, our nostalgia act will be more like multifaceted than just doing a live stage show.
[00:07:04] We'll do a music. I like to show on and do other stuff and then like come back to the
[00:07:10] show. Maybe no, it's not going to happen. The show's never going to end. You got a once
[00:07:15] in a lifetime thing with this show. It'll it'll be as soon as it ends, you'll start seeing
[00:07:20] less and less people come out to stand up. They'll be like less opportunities. No, we
[00:07:25] have to end it so that we can have the Vegas residency later. Yeah, sure. Big gamble. But
[00:07:29] you got to spend seven, eight years in the wilderness in the world, literally in the
[00:07:34] world. I'm fine with that. I'm fine with the wilderness as long as I come out of it with
[00:07:38] plastic surgery. The other animal serious plastic. The other animal sink you're a bear.
[00:07:42] So they respect you as part of the ecosystem. Of course. I'm the alpha bear. They're like,
[00:07:45] Oh, that's that's just a honey bear. The sweetest little bear. That'd be the cute little bear
[00:07:53] bear. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. We have a multifaceted stage show. Adam would
[00:07:59] be acrobatics. Adam would be eaten by a spider pretty quickly. Yeah, it's true. No, I'd be
[00:08:04] like a kind of wrapped up and caught in a daddy long legs is web. That's true. So we
[00:08:08] have to spray you down with insecticides every day. Yeah. Because the bugs are trying to
[00:08:12] your eyes and your mouth. Yeah. So that's that is the biggest flaw to my plan so far.
[00:08:20] Is that you would be killed by nature? You just have to go to the wilderness. No, no,
[00:08:25] no, not that me and Nick will be fine. You would be killed by nature. I'm a natural survivor.
[00:08:31] No, no chance. You have no idea what I would have had to survive in my life. Which name
[00:08:37] one piece of adversity sex slavery. I'm purchasing it. Purchasing. Yeah. It's their inability.
[00:08:46] I don't know any ghost. I never did boy scouts or anything. They're fixed. Oh, no, I would
[00:08:51] actually be dead. I do have a Swiss Army knife though. That's cool. I like that the boy scouts
[00:08:56] they teach you how to like pitch a 10 or what it's all like boys survival skills and girls
[00:09:02] survival skills. Girl scouts is like yeah, giving men treats so they don't beat you to
[00:09:06] that. Yeah, dude. I could I was shocked when I found out the Girl Scouts literally were
[00:09:11] just I thought it was just going camping by your girl. Where's that money going to my
[00:09:16] dick? Man, the cookie money. Man goes to men. Goes to men. Yeah. Classic. Raytheon.
[00:09:22] Raytheon actually owns all the girls got cookies. Yeah. And the missiles and they get
[00:09:29] a first look at. I don't want to say it, but yeah, the pussy. Yeah, the child. It used
[00:09:35] to be used to be you could go to Twitter and search for Girl Scout cookies and that's what
[00:09:40] black people think they're called. Is that what it used to be that or if you could still
[00:09:45] just know I think they like it'll just auto correct. Well, let's find out. Yeah, search
[00:09:51] instead for Girl Scout. Yeah. Can I please can I just have a month of Girl Scout some
[00:09:57] olas like please. I had two whole boxes of thin men Girl Scout cookies this past week.
[00:10:04] Well, I guess this is all white girls now. Wow. Good. See, that's what happens. They
[00:10:08] appropriate. Oh, you think they're black culture misspelling. Yeah, it's like it's
[00:10:13] like white girl saying yes, queen and stuff because they're black gay people. Yeah.
[00:10:19] Oh my God. I order as seven boxes of Girl Scout cookies for my cousin can't wait to
[00:10:27] eat it by myself. That's funny. It is funny. I wasn't joking when I said I want a shirt
[00:10:35] that says Girl Scout's kumkeys on it. That's that person knows what they're doing. Yeah,
[00:10:40] that's probably someone like you. Is it searching for the I don't know. Her name is Aaron. So
[00:10:47] I don't know. That's your name is Nick. I don't have a name. Oh, yeah. You're a faceless
[00:10:54] man. My face. I'm a nameless force. Oh, fuck. Well, what did you guys think of the Met Gala
[00:11:08] looks at him? I know this is some gay shit that you probably haven't. Yeah, I had a lot
[00:11:12] of opinions on it. I don't understand why people don't go like one person doesn't do
[00:11:17] the you know how like Norm McDonald did the Bob Sagg and Russ like the anti comedy. Yeah,
[00:11:23] why doesn't one guy just go butt ass naked. That's true. You can only do it one time and
[00:11:28] you can't really do it again. What is one that I don't know. It's a place for people just
[00:11:34] one guy should come out with their dick and balls out and say that they're dressed as
[00:11:39] John Cage for 33 or whatever that should is Austin 360. What is the Met? Don't I don't
[00:11:45] know. It's a party for the at the Met that they have that Vogue puts on. Oh, that's it.
[00:11:49] This was all this was all explains me last night when Dasha was screaming at the television
[00:11:54] I had no idea what it was until last year and Aaron's like, well, it's the Met Gala
[00:11:59] again. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking? I didn't know what it was until Briana one
[00:12:03] year wore that feather thing where you almost are to these right. That was awesome. Yeah,
[00:12:07] that's what I found out about. Yeah, me too. Yeah. And now I guess because we live in dumb
[00:12:12] ass New York, we know that what it is. Yeah. Well, you know what it should be. It's just
[00:12:17] a party. There's no awards or anything. It's if they're going to have a Met Gala. As far
[00:12:21] as popular culture is concerned, you're either stuck between the Met Gala on one end and then
[00:12:26] Duck Dynasty on the other. Yeah. And there's really nothing in between. That's true. It's
[00:12:32] either like, it's either like, dually there's the periods to hide their money, you know,
[00:12:39] harassing wildlife. Yeah. There's a there's an alligator in the road and we're throwing
[00:12:46] sticks at it. How much money do they make off that whistle next week? Does the alligator
[00:12:51] get mad? Find out on Duck Duck, fucking night of sea. Claire has got to take the truck to
[00:12:57] Costco to buy more tampons for her huge pussy for her big ass pussy. Put a duck whistle
[00:13:06] in her pussy hole. Damn, should we invent a whistle? Is it that easy to be rich? Name
[00:13:14] an animal that we need to trap an animal to have her on TV show? Listen, we need a whistle,
[00:13:21] right? So figure out the animal and then work backwards from the whistle. You could we
[00:13:28] trap a shit. There's a duck dynasty podcast. They're on podcast? Yeah, I'm going to get
[00:13:34] into that. You say you say bitches at him? Yeah, you know, you know, a whistle that'll
[00:13:39] make girls horny. Yeah, exactly. Like kind of like a frequency that'll, you know, start
[00:13:45] vibrating their clits. Yeah, like, you know how there's that noise, the brown sound that
[00:13:49] makes you feel your pill. Phil Robertson, Willie Robertson, Si Robertson, Jase Robertson, and
[00:13:56] then Corey Robinson spelled K-O-R-I-E. Nice. What is it with fucking like Hicks and any
[00:14:05] time there's like any time people are raising money for a white boy with cancer. They always
[00:14:11] have the stupidest names. Yeah, Jalen is fighting so hard. Yeah, Jalen particularly is a name
[00:14:20] they stole from black people. Oh, they're all like, they're all walking the line. Oh,
[00:14:24] yeah. With those names. That's why they don't like. Case in case in case in is. Damn, what
[00:14:32] would you name your first born son? Mine? Yeah. Bernie Sanders. That's cool. Yep. I would
[00:14:42] have, yeah. You got to do my part, dude. Of course. I wouldn't. I don't know what I
[00:14:49] would name mine. Yeah. My heir, the heir to my fortune. Would you get? Are you gonna give
[00:14:54] your son a Greek name? My son doesn't get it until he can remove the axe that I threw
[00:14:59] at his crib. I throw an axe as hard as I can at the headboard of his crib while he's sleeping
[00:15:07] in it. Then when he's reached enough physical strength to remove it, then he may earn a
[00:15:13] title. Got it. That's pretty good. That way, you know, because a lot of people hate their
[00:15:17] names like, oh, I hate my name. It's like, yeah, because you didn't work for it. You
[00:15:20] didn't work for it. That's true. You didn't earn it. That's why socialism is wrong. Everybody
[00:15:25] takes their name for granted. That's why we live in an online era where people are quick
[00:15:29] to pick an avatar. Yes. And they preach and assume the names. So true. Because they don't
[00:15:35] appreciate the things that were given to them because they weren't earned. Oh, okay. They
[00:15:41] want to choose the different. Everybody wants to choose their gender now. Right. They don't
[00:15:45] appreciate their birth gender because they didn't earn it. Imagine if they earn it. I
[00:15:49] don't get it. Yes, they should earn it. So you're good. You want people to be trans.
[00:15:53] I don't want people. I don't. They're earning. Honestly, I don't get to share what you do.
[00:15:57] They're fake pussy. I just feel like you should have to pay money to the government for everything.
[00:16:04] And that's just what socialism. That is so true. There should be attacks on being trans.
[00:16:08] Right. Getting your cock chop, and it gets us medicine for everybody. Thank you. Yep.
[00:16:14] So true. I mean, well, think about all the extra paperwork that we have to do to change
[00:16:19] their name. Is there anything else? Well, you know, people have to wait until the main
[00:16:27] one. People have to wait forever at the DMV. No one likes going to the DMV. That's true.
[00:16:32] It's because all the name. So the getting trans. Yeah. All the people trying to get
[00:16:36] F and M swedges. Imagine like there's a huge line of the day. Like somebody just gets
[00:16:42] on the PA system. Sorry for the delay, everyone. I guess somebody decided to change their
[00:16:47] gender. They want a girl's name now. So that's what the hold up is, is that we're waiting
[00:16:58] on. Oh, I'm sorry. What is it? Crystal to figure out what her new name should be. It's
[00:17:05] crystal crystal is what I want the name to be. Oh, have you decided finally? I it was
[00:17:10] written down before I came in. It was on the paperwork that I filled out before I came
[00:17:15] here and handed it. Oh, well, I guess I'll just do my job then. Huh, crystal is it? Yes.
[00:17:27] Well, just go ahead and file this right now then. Well, you know, it could speed it up.
[00:17:34] What you do the surgeries at the DMV. That would be cool. You know what I mean? That
[00:17:38] would be cool. Dick's minus vagina get a little heat. That way. That's what DMV stands for.
[00:17:48] Dick's minus vagina. Dick mutilation and vehicles. Like, um, maybe rethink the name.
[00:17:59] Could just be a service of the Department of Motor Vehicles. We don't have to. Well,
[00:18:04] it is a type of mutilate. I mean, they are taking a dick and mutilating it. I mean,
[00:18:08] that's true. It's not it's not. Well, what about a, you know, would you say a caterpillar
[00:18:14] is being mutilated in that cocoon? Yeah. Would you say that? Well, it's literally not a metamorphosis.
[00:18:21] It's like a different process. It's a plastic surgery. Is that what you would say about
[00:18:26] a butterfly caterpillar? Nick, is that how you see them as as okay? Well, let me outwoke
[00:18:32] you on this. Trans people don't go through a metamorphosis because the caterpillar was
[00:18:36] a caterpillar at one point became a butterfly. They were always butterflies. They weren't
[00:18:40] always butterflies. But trans people are always. But no, you're just dead named every person
[00:18:47] for their cocks. They are, but their cock was a caterpillar. Nice try. Nice try. That
[00:18:55] is a pussy. So thank you. I don't even know what the fucking definition of mutilate it
[00:19:02] is. Would you say if someone got a fake tits that that's mutilating your tits? Mutilate
[00:19:09] inflict a violent and disfiguring injury on. So yes, that's what it means. It's literally
[00:19:14] the word. Synonyms vandalize the face. Spray painting a cock. They should be a pussy.
[00:19:22] It's a spoil. Mar ruin. Destroy. Rack violate. I wouldn't say ruin or desert. These are
[00:19:28] all just very neutral terms. I get it. You're right. They are neutral. Yeah. Yeah. These
[00:19:40] are very sterile. Now let's look up metamorphosis and see if that sounds more like metamorphosis.
[00:19:49] I just got some black eyes linked in. All right. Let's see. Change of the form or nature of
[00:20:00] a thing or person into a completely different one by natural or supernatural means. So I
[00:20:07] guess if you use the force to make people trans, which I certainly hope happens to the
[00:20:12] new star was the only male characters that used the force to make them trans. Pretty cool.
[00:20:23] Kylo Ren. Yo a girl now. We're girls now. No one where we're just girls. We're gay
[00:20:31] and we're girls. Just two hours ago. We're girls. We're gay. We're gay. We're girls.
[00:20:34] It's been like I'm not gay. Yeah. This guy's straight. This guy's straight. Yeah. This
[00:20:44] guy's straight. This guy's got a big penis. This guy's not gay at all. I fucked a lot.
[00:20:58] I've had sex before. Yeah. I think this guy's had sex. This guy's had sex. At least 35
[00:21:07] girls. 3545 girls. Somewhere somewhere in a normal range. And they've had huge taste.
[00:21:12] Yeah. Apparently all the girls who fucked had huge taste. You didn't have sex with any
[00:21:18] girls or small taste. But I did get head from some guy to control.
[00:21:26] It's like why are you calling this in? That's now that's good stuff man. And you know what
[00:21:42] that's the kind of shit you're going to get if you come see us in Canada. We should plug
[00:21:45] it. Oh yeah. Let's get that up top. We're coming to motherfucking Canada. A little short.
[00:21:50] It is a short distance away. This tour. We're coming for revisit gay. We're coming for
[00:21:55] revisit gay. We're having gee six gay guy. My guy might. Yeah. That's the Canadian version
[00:22:01] of him. So we are coming to motherfucking Canada. Toronto. Let me get all these fucking
[00:22:09] dates. But yeah. Toronto Edmonton. My pussyville. Where else? Condolee town. Condolee
[00:22:20] town. Ottawa Vancouver. Oh Calgary. Oh Condolee. All right. So June 15 Toronto in some wild
[00:22:31] ass theater. It's gorgeous. The Winter Garden Theater. They literally do Broadway and shit
[00:22:40] there. We're selling girls at Poon Honda by a car. Get your new civics new civics new
[00:22:48] accords 14 year old girls pathfinders new and used certified pre-owned Hondas and 14 year
[00:22:57] old Chinese girls to have sex with down at Poon Honda. We're diversifying our stock.
[00:23:04] Hi. I'm Eric Poon. My father opened this car dealership in 1947. We thought we would
[00:23:10] stick to vehicles and good service. Well the definition of good service is changed and
[00:23:16] less people are buying automobiles. So now we're selling you the finest Hondas in the
[00:23:22] tri-state area and also presenting you with the option to have sex with a 14 year old
[00:23:28] Chinese girl that was brought over in one of the shipping containers. The only card.
[00:23:35] Sorry. Are we still plugging the dates? No it's fine. Well I was going to let you. Poon
[00:23:40] Honda. I will let you. Yeah. I don't want to get in the way man please. No yeah. The
[00:23:45] reason we were doing this is the kind of stuff we're doing on tour. Yeah. You don't want
[00:23:49] to end. You want to fuck the golden goose and it's here's a Ronna 615 Montreal 619 Ottawa
[00:23:55] 621. At gunpoint we've taught her how to say fuck me silly daddy. That's the only English
[00:24:01] that is in the event that the police question her she will never be able to identify you
[00:24:06] or anyone at the dealership. This is our guarantee. A family on business. Just on Fox 45 the Sunday
[00:24:14] morning like after the news. Doing that commercial. We can put clearly. Clearly. Clearly admitting
[00:24:22] to sex trafficking. A family like parking at the dealership in a shitty car and like all
[00:24:26] smiling and holding hands as they walk up to like the you know showroom or whatever and
[00:24:31] then the father kind of waves and he's walking off to a different building. It's like the
[00:24:34] family. We're at Poon Honda. We offer a wide selection of the latest accord models use
[00:24:40] civics. The pilot and the fucking honest. Greatest selection of many vans sedans and
[00:24:49] compacts on the East Coast and also a 14 year old Chinese girl named Sue Lynn who was chained
[00:24:56] up in the parts. And we beat. We beat her senseless with radiator hoses. So her eyes
[00:25:06] are already swollen as part of her asiatic makeup is we are now sealed shut and welcome
[00:25:16] Well, that's 25 news. The Orioles lost again today. That's you. That's what it's about
[00:25:25] to you by Poon Honda family on dealership. The 14 year old Chinese girl. All right. So
[00:25:34] Toronto on the 15th at the Winter Garden Theater Montreal the Rialto theater on the 19th of
[00:25:38] June. Otto with the 21st at Center Point Theater.
[00:25:42] Maintreever. Maintree. Yuck Yuck's. And Edmonton. We're still figuring that out. But there are
[00:25:47] links that go to come town dot events. And there's some shit there. There's links. There's
[00:25:52] information. There's presale signups for for some of the shows that aren't up yet. But
[00:26:00] So I'm going to end Nick or not participating. But I will be doing a VIP meet and greet for
[00:26:04] an extra $100 on top of your ticket. You can meet me in a in a blank office space kind
[00:26:13] of room. I'll be sitting at a desk. You can sit down and call me the K word. And that's
[00:26:18] right. It's $100 is $100 Canadian. So yeah. And should I should I replay Donkey Kong
[00:26:27] 64? Probably. You have an N64? It's right in front of you. Also, the way these shows are
[00:26:32] going to work is they're basically going to be two shows in one where we'll do stand
[00:26:36] up and then we'll do a live podcast. How about we do a Jive podcast? We'll do a Jive podcast.
[00:26:42] We will be in blackface and zoop suits.
[00:26:46] Jive. Jive podcast. I dress like the Quaker Road sky in blackface. That's good. Yeah.
[00:26:51] Should I pick a fucking Steve Harvey? You didn't want to accept? I know. I can't believe
[00:26:55] it's real. Dude. Steve, you guys do you saw a favor and check out Steve Harvey at the
[00:26:59] fucking Kentucky Derby? I think it's plan is to just like dress like such a retard that
[00:27:03] when he goes out on the street, people are like, that can't be Steve Harvey. Yeah. He
[00:27:07] looks like Darkwing Doc. He really. I didn't realize in that video you showed me where
[00:27:11] it was like everyone looked like Steve Harvey that one of them was Steve Harvey. I mean,
[00:27:16] maybe it was no, it was him visiting his old his old fraternity. Oh, really? Yeah. What
[00:27:21] is he? It's just like a bunch of Omega. It looks like 15 Steve Harvey's dancing. Yeah.
[00:27:27] Getting down hard. But one of them was actually Steve Harvey. Yeah. Omega side. What is he
[00:27:32] feels like one of those guys? There's a dog guy alpha Kappa Alpha. That's a girl.
[00:27:38] Girls. Good for all those guys. What? Oh, yeah. You know, those guys. Black fraternity guys.
[00:27:46] Yeah. But like 90 year old black fraternity guys. I'm going out having fun. Oh, yeah.
[00:27:53] Yeah. They, they, yeah. I'm going to bet he's Omega sci fi. That's what it felt feels like
[00:27:58] to me. Yeah. Yeah. They do have fun and they still
[00:28:02] hey, it's pretty, pretty bad. And they do they stop the yard? They stop the yard, dude.
[00:28:08] But they all get probably a crazy amount of pussy and about what's a stompe. Stop the
[00:28:12] tarred. No. And it's about those teams in Chicago that kidnapped the handicap. Oh,
[00:28:22] damn, they really can't. Yeah, Nick Cannon being like, we got a kid now. I think that
[00:28:29] was you ain't got it in you boy. Yeah. You can't. You was not made to I never go to be like
[00:28:35] my father. I'm going to be like my father. I'm going to be able to get. I'm going to
[00:28:40] get out this retard and beat his ass. My father was a quitter. Stop refuse to get in
[00:28:47] have retarded people. My father, my, my daddy was a damn drunk. I'm not going to be like
[00:28:52] that. I'm going to beat up this retarded kid. The redemption arc being beating a child
[00:29:01] retarded man savagely. Yeah. And you're just like pitching that and are like, what is the
[00:29:08] well, you see stomp the yard? It's like, it's representation. And they're like, Oh, wait,
[00:29:14] here's 20 million dollars. We'll make this right away. We're not going to give this a
[00:29:19] second thought. Oh, fuck. What's up with you, Adam? Adam has a bad news on his phone.
[00:29:28] No, I was just, I was just seeing if we didn't announce one of the dates. Adam's using the
[00:29:34] MI gay app. And he opened it up. Your game was buzzing very loudly and vibrating and
[00:29:41] smoking. I'm kind of more of a magic eight ball. I'm going to make that and throw it on
[00:29:45] the phone. That app store. That is awesome. The MI gay. Your game. That would be good.
[00:29:54] Yeah. I'm the guy you are the more the light gets brighter. Yeah. There's different levels.
[00:30:01] Yeah. You should go to, you should get a develop, you should go to development school,
[00:30:06] web development school, get a computer science master. Yeah. Learn how to code a coding bootcamp.
[00:30:13] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They have like a lot of those private coding. That's probably good pussy is
[00:30:19] coding, coding bootcamp. Mm hmm. That's what I think, uh, is there all the good pussy?
[00:30:25] Yeah. Yeah. For sure. We should be treating all the, uh,
[00:30:31] the illegals, like put them in coding boot camps and then have them come up with new iPad apps,
[00:30:39] you know, then what people won't be mad at them for coming.
[00:30:45] People want more apps. Yeah. Make, uh, you know, like
[00:30:49] something where you could get, uh, like a day labor to, yeah. Oh, okay. An app for that.
[00:30:59] Yeah. That would be good. Is that you don't have to go to the home people. Save them the time.
[00:31:03] Yeah. They can just get an alert. Okay. I think that was a big.
[00:31:12] What's up with you? Oh, nothing. I'm just falling asleep. Oh, okay. Um, yeah, I like that idea.
[00:31:17] I'm sorry, what? You get an app for a day labor. Should have gone. I think they have that basically
[00:31:23] fiber. Is that what it's called? Yeah. It's for like three, three answers. Task rabbit. I want
[00:31:30] someone who's a man to put up a shell. But a fiber, but yeah, it's like, it's called Cinco.
[00:31:35] And it's just for a sink. There you go. That's what I was looking for. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:31:39] A minute ago. You needed some racist. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:31:43] Yeah. What else boys? What else is it? That's a good idea. You should write that Adam.
[00:31:50] Cinco, the app. The app. Yeah. I don't know how to code. Yeah, you do. Go to coding bootcamp
[00:31:55] with all the good pussy. It's circular. We've gotten to it. All right. I'll check that out.
[00:32:02] Whoo. One of my friends got bed bugs in a hotel. Isn't that fucking wild?
[00:32:07] No, I mean, that's where you get bed bugs. Shit sucks. That's the thing, man. I saw some woman
[00:32:11] online like a year ago, like railing against some fucking hotel. She's like, fuck these assholes
[00:32:17] for giving me bed bugs. And it's like, yeah, it sucks. But it's like, what do you think the hotel
[00:32:21] is like purposefully contracting bed bugs? It's shitty people like you that get bed bugs, then bring
[00:32:27] your luggage everywhere. Anyways, very pro hotel stance. I mean, it's just like, it sucks. And
[00:32:34] there should be some kind of like, re compensation. I think it's like, you know, I mean, the landlord
[00:32:39] should have to take care of it. Yeah, they do here in New York or whatever. But like,
[00:32:43] yeah, they're like a huge fucking problem. I mean, if you can't like vaccinate against fucking
[00:32:47] bed, how do we stop the spread of the bugs? Be using DDT. You bring DDT back. Nice. Yeah.
[00:32:54] Is that that's illegal? No, they stopped using it like, because they used to just drive around a
[00:32:59] gas neighborhood. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like at the beginning of shortcuts.
[00:33:03] I guess they're like gassing the whole shortcuts. Is it a movie about your dick? Well,
[00:33:12] that it wouldn't be called shortcuts. Well, it's cut. I'm gonna start a shortcut. I'm gonna start a
[00:33:19] barber short circuit called shortcuts. It's only for guys under five, five, 10. And we, you have to
[00:33:25] grow your hair out for six years. And then we construct you a pompadour that's 14 inches. It's
[00:33:33] a giant haircut. What are you talking about? I'm still talking tall. I'm a freaking tall guy over
[00:33:39] here. I went over to shortcuts. I started wearing platforms. Yeah, you should be awesome. People
[00:33:46] are like, wow, that guy's tall and not fat. He's getting it. He looks like a regular size. I'm gonna
[00:33:58] have platforms. I'm gonna wear sleeves that are really long. So it looks like my arms are long.
[00:34:04] But what about your hands? How about I? How about I get my arms? My arms. My arms.
[00:34:08] Oh, nice. Hoovered in tattoos of Steve Harvey's face is wearing different outfits.
[00:34:12] Uh huh. Big murals and sleeves sleeve Harvey. Then I moved back to Austin and I get my own
[00:34:19] public access TV show for that. The sleeve Harvey in Austin. Like dude, if you met sleeve Harvey,
[00:34:27] he's an alcoholic, but there's a dumb gimmick about him. He just goes around on E six and
[00:34:32] fucks 20 year olds. Yep, all day long. He fucks 20 year olds and want to fuck a guy with a little
[00:34:38] bit of local notability. Some dumb sounds awesome. Honestly, no, it is awesome. Did that
[00:34:45] lizard guy get pussy? He looks a little bit weird. I think he was, you know, I mean, he's
[00:34:52] he's he's well, he's an all right guy. Are you saying out with him? He's a cool guy. Yeah, well,
[00:34:56] he's all right. He's okay to the same extent that I'm a cool guy. I mean, like, so he's not right.
[00:35:01] Not cool. Yeah. You know, I mean, that's what he's like. No, he's not an act. Yeah, I mean,
[00:35:08] he's a little bit autistic, I guess a little bit. That's why he did that whole lizard. Yeah, exactly.
[00:35:15] imagine him. Let's put it this way. He's not going in two directions. The whole time you're
[00:35:19] talking to him, he's not like, I'm a lizard. Like he's like, they don't like it. That's
[00:35:23] a joke. I would always refer to that. I want that. He's like, yeah, yeah, it's been, uh, it's been
[00:35:35] a pretty okay week. Uh, uh, just got my tax return. My frickin milk went bad. That's sucked. You know,
[00:35:41] he's like, that's what he's like. That sucks. I would rather him be like, I'm gonna use my
[00:35:46] tongue to like, to penetrate the whole and lick the clit at the same time. His very interesting
[00:35:53] idea. Yeah. Because in that case, maybe we should be guessing that very interesting. But
[00:35:58] then he have a speech impediment from the fork tongue surgery or do you talk normal?
[00:36:03] How about a speech impediment? Okay. I'm getting in bed together.
[00:36:08] I'm about to watch you bring you a little death ass in bed.
[00:36:11] I don't know what that is. That speech impediment. Yeah. How about, I'm sorry. I'm, I was
[00:36:20] checking crypto prices. Oh, it's fun. Mix back in. You're back in. You bought the
[00:36:25] desk. Never got it. I never got it. You bought the dip. Well, I bought more when it went low.
[00:36:28] So I'm, I'm doing okay. I'm back. I bought, I don't know. I probably crashed again.
[00:36:37] Yeah. I wish I got into it before my cancer.
[00:36:39] Yeah. Can I have all your stuff? Yeah. You could have some stuff. Yeah.
[00:36:44] How big is your TV? The doctor comes in. He's like, well, we were worried it was gay cancer,
[00:36:50] but we're looking at it now. And the good news is it's not cancer, but it is gay.
[00:36:57] It appears it is. We thought it was, we thought it was Goposi sarcoma,
[00:37:03] which as you know, was referred to as gay cancer 35 years ago.
[00:37:07] We thought that's when you, it turns out it's not cancer, but it is gay. It is actually very gay.
[00:37:15] Which as you know, means we have to charge you for the visit now. It appears a portion of a man
[00:37:21] who you were having sex with his goatee infected your back. Well, he was fucking you in the ass.
[00:37:27] I love it. So we're talking about stuff. Got a piece of some dead guy's bone putting his mouth.
[00:37:32] Yeah. And there's literally based on statistics a 50 50 chance that it was a gay man. That's not
[00:37:38] the 50% that is not based on statistics. It is. Well, first of all, I said percent that's
[00:37:44] statistics motherfucker. No 50 first of all, there's half women. Okay. No, but they give
[00:37:50] God a woman's guys. Guy bones guys. That's not true. Yeah, it is. It has to come for the same.
[00:37:55] It literally has to come from a Greek man. No. Look at that. That's over. Yeah.
[00:38:01] Yeah. And so like think about this. Okay. I don't think any of this is true. Listen to this
[00:38:06] demographic. Okay. A Greek guy who died young who is also an organ donor. Why does he have to be?
[00:38:12] Why does he have to die young? Well, because you need young bones. Yeah. Donate your organs.
[00:38:17] That's pretty nice. Somebody is the same age and races you. So you don't think it could just be
[00:38:21] a guy in the first of all, it's not true. No gay guys donate organs because they just want to be
[00:38:25] inside of the thing is like a gay first of all, Greek guy. That's true. Did you've already even
[00:38:29] the straightest, most homophobe Greek guy in the world has probably sucked in? Yeah. Of course.
[00:38:35] Okay. That I will see to you. Yeah. Now they're all
[00:38:41] imagine how like how much of a liberal you'd have to be as a Greek to get be an organ donor.
[00:38:48] That's true. And so that's got to be the gayest guy, the gayest Greek guy in the world.
[00:38:53] Now, I'm saying that's where what gets you up to 50%. All of these other circumstances at play.
[00:38:59] It's not just the general population. It's not saying the general population. I'm saying among
[00:39:02] Greek 30 year olds, morbidly obese Greek 30 year olds. Regularly who died tragically.
[00:39:10] Died tragically. Why did they have to die tragically? Because they had to give you their bone. Yeah.
[00:39:14] What if they had extra bone and they wanted to shave something? No one gives bones. Maybe.
[00:39:19] Who? I don't know. It'd be funny if the bone came from another fat guy who died in a basketball
[00:39:23] tournament. Look, but do you feel like there is another spirit inside of you? Yeah. Like there is
[00:39:35] another man living in you. I've been waking up. I would love to get a bone. I am hard
[00:39:41] outside of my neighbor's window, knocking on the door. And then I snap. Yeah. I come and then I
[00:39:46] meet like, where am I? I would love to get a bone transplant from a Native American and then just
[00:39:50] like Elizabeth Warren style be like, well, a big part of my heritage. Yes. It's something that's
[00:39:58] inside. One 100th. Oh, I just you should ask them. Yeah. If it maybe it is a gay guy that helps
[00:40:05] the career, baby. My name is Tickle Duts. You're queer now. Tickle snuts. Tickle snuts. Yeah.
[00:40:11] It's both my native name and my clown name.
[00:40:22] The thing is though, I know the only if well, if everything you guys are saying is true,
[00:40:29] which I don't believe it is, it probably had to give me an alpha. They had to give me alpha
[00:40:34] male bones. Yeah. Because otherwise my body would reject any kind of bait a little bullshit.
[00:40:39] Yeah, that's true. No, that's not true. So it was probably a mafioso, honestly, who was gunned down
[00:40:44] the trade. The timing works out too. It might be that guy from Staten Island.
[00:40:50] Ooh, they got killed by that Q and on guy.
[00:40:56] Maybe that's a new move. Maybe we got a mafia movie on our hands. Ghost mob. Yeah. Ghost mob.
[00:41:08] So yeah, I was trying to remember the board salami.
[00:41:12] Oh, I knew what the joke was. I couldn't remember the word salami. I kept thinking sasage.
[00:41:18] Salage. Salage. Salage. Salage. I'm actually I have to donate an organ pretty soon. Oh, yeah.
[00:41:27] Yeah. You're uterine. I'm donating my heart to my girlfriend's boyfriend.
[00:41:35] So that he may live. Nice. Yeah. What's his name? What's his name? I don't even know his name yet.
[00:41:42] Oh, yeah. They're keeping it kind of a secret, but he needs an emergency heart.
[00:41:46] So it's gotten serious enough where now you know her boyfriend. I don't know, but I know he needs
[00:41:53] a heart. That's so nice of you. I know. It's a it's an expression of love. Are those guys real
[00:41:59] or is there's all that stuff in your net? Holly. The guys I love my mom my wife's boyfriend. Oh,
[00:42:04] it's real. For sure. It's real. Yeah. Yeah. It's all autistic people. Some guys just fucking your
[00:42:10] wife and you're smiling and getting him like. Yeah. Yeah. Those little doll one of those
[00:42:15] shits called. What do you mean? Bobbleheads for Holly people. I mean, it's just like a fetish or whatever, but they're like, yeah, but they're like, I know, but I mean, you could do the same thing with like, some man is just fucking you and your ass. No, I get that. No, no, no, no. I think I mean, I think like the organized.
[00:42:36] Polly, yeah. Polly community is disgusting and weird. Yeah, because I mean all of his sexual fetish. All sex is good. Sexual fetish. It's like, I know what it's like to just have to bust a nut no matter what. Mm hmm. But this is these people are not coming. They're not in the act of coming. They go to events. They're hanging out. They're having brunch together and being like, oh, it was nice when you fuck my wife. Someone posted that escape. I get you look, it's weird, but it's like they seem fine. Otherwise, I, you know, it's like, I don't have to talk like, you know, I think this is, you know, it's a little bit different. I think that's it. I think I think it's a little bit different. I think it's a little bit different. It's a little bit different. It's a little bit different. But I think it's a little bit different. I don't think it's a little bit different
[00:43:06] So what are you gonna do? I mean that seems to be the fucking way we judge anything else
[00:43:11] What if they're like it's consensual and they're fine like yeah
[00:43:15] I'm saying I'm sure it bothers you because you're like putting yourself in that position
[00:43:19] You're like somebody's fucking my girlfriend and it's like that's well. It's not happening to you
[00:43:25] Listen even the guys that get cooked I almost get this is this is this is those kind of people yeah, that makes sense
[00:43:31] Yeah, I'm saying what I'm saying is awful. Yeah
[00:43:34] Exactly these people shouldn't be having sex with anyone. Yeah. Yeah, well that's how that if you there's a documentary about like
[00:43:41] Polly people this woman talks about her huge tits all the time. Yeah, yeah, you're absolutely correct with that phase
[00:43:50] Guess I guess my point is it's not the sexual thing that I don't get no the sex like it cuck people
[00:43:55] It's like all right you have some weird thing where you're beating off
[00:43:58] Familiar yeah, this shit is like we're all hanging that we're all just grabbing brunch together. I don't know I don't know
[00:44:07] Yeah, it's it's a it's the things you do when you're not hard. I think they have a problem with
[00:44:13] It's it whatever you want where you're hard, but it's people like trying to like apply rules to something that's fun
[00:44:19] Because like it you're breaking the rules like cheating is against the rules and that's why it's fun
[00:44:25] Yeah, but like her all this shit is like oh, we're gonna make like a bylaws and stuff
[00:44:30] Yeah, and like we gotta have a zap the beauty of cheating from it
[00:44:34] Right. Yeah, we have to like follow Roberts rules of order and stuff and like who's Robert pass amendments and shit
[00:44:41] I personally I feel like only airline pilot should be able to cheat
[00:44:46] Traditionalist in that sense and then you should work for the airlines if you want to cheat on your wife that makes sense
[00:44:52] Yeah, and and women are allowed to be raped by their boss on a business trip
[00:44:59] Oh, that's all the cheating they get yes
[00:45:01] But they knew what was happening when they agreed when they agreed to go on a business ship that would further their career. Yes
[00:45:14] Respected air a lot people don't know that that the the sexual revolution and all that stuff
[00:45:19] That was all just like a viral ad campaign. Oh really by who what corporation papacy or some shit and gay yeah
[00:45:28] I said yeah, they needed people fucking so they could rub some bengay on their thighs
[00:45:33] Yeah in the 50s everyone had the same haircut. They're all the same height
[00:45:39] They were worse suits. We were Chinese basically. Yeah, that is true. Oh
[00:45:43] Nick do you see a dark future with the Chinese doing our beer probably I
[00:45:50] Think the Chinese are probably pretty often by accident
[00:45:59] That's funny this is not my beautiful wife. Wow. This is not my big car
[00:46:15] I think oftentimes like in the organized poly thing
[00:46:17] It's one of them wants to fuck and the other ones like too much of us like passive
[00:46:23] Whatever to like say no pussy to or dick. Did you ever see that Louie through documentary about the swingers? No
[00:46:31] No, who's Louis throw he's like a British
[00:46:36] Documentarian guy he like he's that he lived with the like the Westboro Baptist Church
[00:46:41] He like goes and like that's a good name. I don't know. I've heard it and I think well cool name
[00:46:47] Oh, yeah, you should watch all of his stock. He's the best. He's super funny to yeah, no, he's hilarious
[00:46:52] He's the but and yet the probably the best documentarian that ever lived ever better than Errol Morris or Ken Burns
[00:47:01] Bring ass fucking slow pan, you know, I honestly I mean I guess it's like Ken Ken Burns might be one of those things where it's like his style has been
[00:47:10] Become like I don't know like the base level of what you're supposed to emulate
[00:47:15] But like it's not a documentary unless you're doing some Ken Burns shit
[00:47:19] Yeah, that what the letters and what made Ken Burns great at one point is now just lost in yeah, you know
[00:47:29] I mean I tried to go back and watch the Civil War documentary again
[00:47:32] I did so long that bottle of pills and I just wanted to sit on the couch and do pills and lunch
[00:47:37] Yeah, that'd be 18 hours of a Civil War documentary
[00:47:40] And I got maybe two hours in and it was like I can't do this anymore. I mean I used to well you need more pills
[00:47:48] You know, I was taking like nine ten at a time. Yeah, so yeah, yeah, you know
[00:47:54] I was through the bottle pretty quick. Well in the in the swingers documentary
[00:47:58] He goes like a swingers party at this couple's house and like the wife is just like at the check-in
[00:48:04] Like at coat check the whole night like greeting people as they walk in and the husband's just like in the different fuck rooms
[00:48:17] The story of the first black man to get involved in a polyamorous relationship with the white with a white family
[00:48:25] Yeah, well, you know Marcus the only thing he wanted to do was have sex with married white woman
[00:48:38] There's no way that's gonna die they could kill you but Marcus was was determined
[00:48:44] You know, there was something different about
[00:48:47] Marcus Jeffries grew up in a shack made out of do-do
[00:48:56] His mom made him pull the turds out her ass and
[00:48:59] You know, he would have to build a house around his mom's ass
[00:49:02] and that's that's kind of where he developed an appreciation for
[00:49:08] Because he saw his mother's because he would have to see his mother's pussy and it was covered in do-do all the time
[00:49:24] Marcus as a young boy, it always struck me how horny Marcus was constantly Marcus dick was hard all
[00:49:32] His mom used to use his dick as a washboard
[00:49:36] They would have everybody in the you know, they had a little village set up there down on the delta
[00:49:42] Everybody would come by and they put they linens on Marcus's dick
[00:49:50] And somebody him seeing his dick on in and out of them white linens. I really added to his obsession
[00:50:03] A pioneer yeah in 1927 Marcus traveled to New Orleans
[00:50:08] Which I know it somehow now the time frame
[00:50:12] He travels back in time and that's where he began sleeping with French women who weren't considered white at the time
[00:50:32] Damn, she's loved. Ah fuck bitch. Get him. No do not get me get him
[00:50:38] Don't call me you fucking whore scratch him up do not scratch me up
[00:50:43] She she is loving these cuddles, so I'll give her that
[00:50:45] A killer you want to kill her no no she is a killer. Yeah. What's the last thing she killed
[00:50:54] Folks you no I'm not dead. Yeah, I'm going to survive. I'm going to live father. I'm going to live father
[00:51:08] Focable you see I wanted a forgivable blackness. No, what's that it's a Ken Burns documentary. That's what that was all
[00:51:18] I thought we were just having a good time thinking about a guy who fucks white women in the 40s
[00:51:23] Oh first guy we were but it's the base material is unforgiving
[00:51:28] What happened to that guy in the regular doc?
[00:51:32] Do you know what it's about Adam? No, I haven't heard of it before
[00:51:35] I've heard of the baseball one the jazz one
[00:51:42] They should do one about pornography. Maybe unforgivable blackness isn't even a Ken Burns documentary. I've never heard of it
[00:51:48] Let me look it up because I I thought he did simpler subjects than that well that I mean
[00:51:56] Do you have any thoughts about that sentence thing more broad
[00:52:01] I thought he just chose more broad topics
[00:52:08] I forgive a little blackness the rising full of Jack Johnson is a doctor Jack Johnson. Yeah. Oh, so the the boxer the musician
[00:52:16] He probably got yeah, the musician. Yeah, he probably got some white pussy. Honestly. Mm-hmm. The boxer Jack Johnson for sure
[00:52:23] No, no, no, no, no, no get off me. No, don't go down me
[00:52:29] No, don't look at me like that. It's not my fault. Nick is mean. I don't more fucking cat hair all of me right now
[00:52:37] What are you doing after I got business up?
[00:52:44] Fill with cat hair. I guess keep David did the voice of her for it
[00:52:48] Oh, wow. Yeah, who's that? That's perfect
[00:52:51] The Navy accelerate your life. Oh hell. Yeah. Yeah, ass to ass getting the snow bunny pussy was the only thing that mattered to him
[00:52:59] The guy who said that they should go ass to ass and rightfully for a dream. Yeah, that guy rules man
[00:53:05] He's got a very sinister smile. Yeah, who would you say in all of media has a very sinister smile?
[00:53:17] That there's this movie that people retweet a lot. We're like who would you say in all of media has a very sinister
[00:53:27] Words like a guy, but he's in his house, but he's also at the event or something. What's like a David Byrne move David Lynch movie
[00:53:35] He's at his house, but he's at the event what event
[00:53:39] It's like some guy and he's smiling weird
[00:53:41] What and he's got like under eye makeup on. Yeah, he was getting white pussy. He was
[00:53:46] Hell yeah, Jack Johnson. Hell yeah salute
[00:53:51] Yeah, Donald Trump pardons boxing champion. Oh, that's right. He did
[00:53:56] He did he pardoned him for getting white pussy
[00:54:03] Yeah, no literally Donald Trump has issued a posthumous part into black box or jailed over a hundred years ago for traveling with his white girlfriend
[00:54:09] I know I know that is so funny. We guessed it. Yeah, unfuckable blackness
[00:54:18] And then Donald Trump recently gave them presidential medal of honor or some shit to try tiger woods. Mm-hmm to his boy
[00:54:25] Well, that proves he's not racist. Yeah, that's all you need to know about Donald Trump is he?
[00:54:29] Pardon the dead black man from two million years ago
[00:54:35] We're actually I'm going to take a picture of me smiling next to the guy cocaine man. So
[00:54:41] We're gonna reopen the children's prison
[00:54:44] Of the border and that should that should nip this whole I'm racist nonsense right in the butt
[00:54:54] I got a headache. I think that's from doing Adderall taking Adderall yesterday
[00:54:58] Yeah, that shit fucks me up and I'm also I'm a gazombi the next day, too
[00:55:02] But I was kind of productive. Yeah, maybe I should just go on meds
[00:55:06] I want to take uppers in the morning downers at night. Yeah like a like a sorority girl. Yeah, dude
[00:55:12] I've been sitting taking uppers. You take puppers
[00:55:19] Do you get you get it just comes up? I know I open the reddit app is just all those
[00:55:24] The regular rare rare puppy dog or small small puppers. The puppers are just snooped a boop
[00:55:33] How pretty look at the flue he pooped himself
[00:55:38] Kill yourself. I was just fucking killing yourself. Please
[00:55:42] Can you imagine that like your motivation to get a dog is that like maybe people will talk to me
[00:55:52] I know dude just pet the dog. Enjoy the fucking dog. Mm-hmm
[00:56:01] That's your dick's name my dick. I thought it was shortcut. It's also your dick's name
[00:56:07] Your dick's name is small pumper rare dickers and it's just a bunch of people posting pictures of atoms small day
[00:56:20] Is it a bad sign if a girl does baby talk to your penis? Yeah, she means she thinks it's a baby
[00:56:25] Yeah, but it's a good sign if she does baby talk while you're fucking her that that means that bitch is retarded
[00:56:34] That's good later jack johnson got into getting the sneakiest type of pussy there is
[00:56:42] You know a lot of us were saying he was going too far at that point
[00:56:46] For the time yeah for the time it was radical to be having any way
[00:56:51] I'm having sex with a white woman, but we said man
[00:56:53] We don't even think there's gonna be cool 50s 60 years
[00:56:59] You try I mean this will probably never be all right
[00:57:14] That's actually where where the term baby as a sexual
[00:57:17] You've been came from is that she had a big bond?
[00:57:22] Is that mr. Johnson was doing it as a radical political act?
[00:57:26] He was not attracted to retarded people
[00:57:29] And we have here his diary that reads damn there ain't nothing like retarded pussy
[00:57:49] Yeah, so what else it is pretty cool jack johnson was
[00:57:56] Despite everything you mean he's strong
[00:57:58] Yeah, but it was like the 1880s or some wild shit. Oh, I thought it was like the early 1900s. I mean maybe whatever
[00:58:05] But you said be it was a civil war, you know, it's so funny
[00:58:08] It's like there's probably a guy that was like pro slavery
[00:58:11] And then they ended slavery and then that guy became like the best boxer in the world to start a fucking white woman
[00:58:20] Like I I don't want to do a victory lab here
[00:58:33] Who tried to tell you motherfucker? I told you I fucking told
[00:58:49] From this boxing documentary that slave kept good is a one guy I got to be right
[00:59:03] So no no one knows any other sinister smiles, huh?
[00:59:06] Jack in the departed that gift that people share of him smiling and curry
[00:59:12] Tim curry is a great example of what I'm talking about a very sinister smile
[00:59:27] Jafar that's not a real guy far the Cheshire cat
[00:59:32] Cheshire cat classic. Mm-hmm something fucked up there
[00:59:41] No, just sinister smile smile celebrity
[00:59:43] Let's see if this gives us some good stuff to talk about
[00:59:55] No, man, you have to google sinister doing some good searches for the podcast
[01:00:06] Brad Pitt actor. Mm-hmm. Jack F. Ron actor
[01:00:10] Tom Cruise actor. Oh, yeah, Tom Cruise is why is he rated it's like that?
[01:00:21] There's the what if you type in celebrity smiles, it's like there's a bunch of pictures of Tom Cruise
[01:00:27] I guess he smiles a lot maybe he's hot maybe he's got a weird bite like his
[01:00:34] His like one of his teeth aren't yeah his teeth are like not aligned. Yeah, but he's got a good smile
[01:00:39] I mean he looks great Ben Affleck actor
[01:00:44] You know, I would have liked to have sex with Marilyn Monroe. He's an actor
[01:00:49] You know she weighed 350 pounds. Yeah, that's why I like her. Yeah, so 102 million. I love me a thickie
[01:00:59] And halfway actor and half the way also an actor julio styles
[01:01:07] Julie I want I want to go back in time Julia Roberts have sex with Marilyn Monroe actor
[01:01:18] That's true. How you doing you're listening to
[01:01:21] You're listening to Clarence turd waters. It's a Hollywood podcast
[01:01:27] Today we're gonna continue with a left-off last week
[01:01:33] Some of the some of the characters you might see and and hunt them Hollywood pickers
[01:01:41] Without further ado. Just get started here
[01:01:47] Okay, Chris Cooper actor Chris Cooper who's Chris Cooper he's an actor
[01:02:02] That's American this is a plot of American beauty
[01:02:05] No, the plot is that there's a weird boy next door and we're just a gay Nazi
[01:02:12] Annette Benning's cheating on Kevin Spacey
[01:02:16] And then Chris Cooper. Yeah, he plays it. He's a gay Nazi, right?
[01:02:22] I'll really just list uh he just says the names we're just working on
[01:02:26] Oh, I'll go on through some of the characters. I'm not seeing them Hollywood pick. Okay
[01:02:38] Is always sold on shot gun actor. So he's held on. I know her. She's hot
[01:02:43] Yeah, she's like Puerto Ricans. Shawn gun is that he related to Tim gun
[01:02:51] Project runway. Yeah, he plays himself in a lot of things
[01:02:55] Yeah, because he's probably has an IMDB
[01:03:02] Uh the black lady from 12 years of slave
[01:03:09] I don't know. I don't understand how to say that name
[01:03:14] I'm not even gonna take a chance. Lupita and yango
[01:03:32] Just out to Sylvester and Frank, dude James Woods
[01:03:39] Dennis Hopper. I want some testosterone. I want the hgh
[01:03:42] He's an actor. They're all they're all on uh steroids and the director
[01:03:47] He's all of Hollywood. Can we get steroids?
[01:03:53] I don't know who you're talking about Dennis Hopper. Is that who you said? I'm just saying the names are some people here
[01:04:02] It's just a different article. You just thinking these off the top of your head
[01:04:06] We're gonna get into that a little bit here. We're talking about all the some of the we're gonna go through on sci-fi wire.com
[01:04:26] Isn't that Sean Penn there's that guy James gun that lost that movie he had bad tweez back. That's just brother. But he's bad
[01:04:40] Um from kids with pituitary gland deficiencies. Yeah
[01:04:50] And then the wrestlers in her school tried to buy it for her really yeah, did she sell it?
[01:04:55] I don't think she did would have been smart would have been smart
[01:05:00] If that's the only thing they tried to buy from her
[01:05:09] Well, rent is different than buying they try to do that
[01:05:13] Never I'm just gonna say answer that by saying that renting is different than buying
[01:05:21] Why are you that dog from fucking what is that dog? I don't know
[01:05:25] That's the noise I make when I laugh about and the sister being pinned down to the wrestling team
[01:05:29] She's a dog a cartoon dog that lasts like that. Is it who maybe from hong kong goofy came her ds actor
[01:05:46] Of you to call women actors older women said actress i don't know about the hollywood pickers
[01:05:53] What's your favorite hollywood picture? I don't know
[01:06:09] You just sees the every concept my preference don't remove you i've ever seen this jungle to jungle
[01:06:26] Both of them are actors. Oh, is that the one where he's like a fake tars in it's no that's george of the jungle
[01:06:34] Jungle the jungle was a part of that series of divorce movies. Yeah. Yeah single dad
[01:06:39] Is it like a feral child or something on divorce because everyone's parents was getting divorced. Yeah, you know, so they made all those movies
[01:06:46] For real isn't there no no I think I know this he's like a feral child
[01:06:51] I remember he she's talking about problem child
[01:06:53] There's something called there's there's a scene in that movie where tim alan explains the word obligation
[01:07:03] And then later on he says that he is an obligation
[01:07:09] Yeah, isn't he from the jungle am I remembering what's going on jungle son
[01:07:19] Jungle son is a good name. Yeah, that was the working title for the movie
[01:07:25] With the one about jack johnson. Oh no for finding forester
[01:07:33] I've got a new son. You're all the man now directly from the jungle
[01:07:40] Oh, no, he lives in your neighbor. He's born and raised your neighbor. It's sorry
[01:07:45] Yes, leave show i'm teaching him how to play chess
[01:07:51] Is that the part of that movie? No, he teaches him how to write. Oh, okay. Well, he recognizes that he's an excellent writer
[01:07:57] I'm finding Bobby Fisher that I combine finding Bobby Fisher and finding forester man
[01:08:08] Did Bobby Fisher ever get pussy or was he just too weird he's turned in like Shane
[01:08:14] Anti-semite he played chess so good he realized that we were living in a giant chess game where all of the black pieces are being manipulated by the jews
[01:08:23] The black pieces have been pitted against the white pieces by who by the jews
[01:08:32] It's just two jewish guys playing the game
[01:08:36] It's so funny though that Bobby Fisher is like
[01:08:39] He was a guy that was good at chess right? Yeah, yeah, so like when he became an insane anti-semite people aren't able to do this like
[01:08:47] Like you know retro corrective bullshit, but like oh and he was never good at chess
[01:08:54] Right because he was he beat like a super computer. Yeah, right?
[01:08:58] You know like if he was like a director of people like in his movies were shit
[01:09:05] Like all am I allowed to think he's a good chess player still
[01:09:08] I saw this video of him like where he talked about how he's really into like his at-home workouts
[01:09:14] So he'd be like reading chess books and stuff
[01:09:17] And then he'd just like put his feet on his chair and his like hands on the ground and just do like like 50 push-ups
[01:09:23] Then go back to working on chess and stuff
[01:09:25] But he was like obsessively like doing like bodyweight exercises in his bedroom. He was he ripped?
[01:09:32] I don't know if he was actually even that jacked, but I want to get jacked
[01:09:39] Shall I learn chess who's the best chess player in the world now?
[01:09:46] Still just still de Berbechov. Just suck me off
[01:09:52] Nah, don't they have computers. It just can just smoke everyone at chess now. No all the computers have been beaten
[01:10:02] There's like a I think there's a Scandinavian guy that's like young now
[01:10:06] That's good. Who gives a fuck fuck chess. It's boring. I don't know. I think it should we should get back into chess as a society
[01:10:13] No, we're at least celebrating the one's does it make you smarter?
[01:10:17] No, right. What do you mean? Does it make you smarter?
[01:10:21] You have to be pretty smart to be good at it. I guess
[01:10:25] Bobby fish you also have to be a fucking wild card, you know
[01:10:29] Do moves that the computer can never predict look this is here's the thing called bughouse chess
[01:10:37] The juice what happens is the popular chess fairy and played with teams of two or more
[01:10:45] So I'm sorry, I'm misregious on who wants to be a millionaire. Yeah, what a hilarious game show host. I know he rules
[01:10:57] Okay, there's a pokey man named Pikachu
[01:11:01] And what color is a yellow blue red or green
[01:11:10] Dude, I remember the day. Oh, yeah sure. That's your answer
[01:11:14] Remember the Regis collection of ties. My man was wearing those. Oh, yeah, like JC
[01:11:19] Mentally, I was wearing those metallic shoes. You better believe I was I was very into the Regis collection as I think I had a Donald Trump
[01:11:26] Ty when I was a kid. I absolutely had a Donald Trump time, but the Regis ones were because they were like shiny dude
[01:11:32] Yeah, they were on that show. We just was dressed shiny as fuck. Yeah shiny time man
[01:11:37] Which show was he on a heart the heart or some shit? He was on Regis and Kelly. No, but I mean prior to that
[01:11:44] I just had like a career. I think it was like a presenter like a talk show. He wasn't an actor. No, no, I don't think so
[01:11:53] I think he's a personality. What kind of guy is that Regis Philbin? He's Albanian. He's Albanian
[01:12:01] It's hilarious. It makes me mad. I thought I was not even some sort of like
[01:12:05] I was not even some sort of wap or like no, he's fucking Irish man
[01:12:17] Damn, he's no, he's Irish. No, he's Albanian, dude
[01:12:20] And Philbin is like Irish. He's half Albanian
[01:12:24] His father Francis Philbin was a US Marine who served in the Pacific was of Irish heritage
[01:12:31] Basha was from an Italian immigrant family. Okay, so I was right. So maybe held this light to me and told me Regis was Albanian
[01:12:43] Aberishi ethnic Albanians from Italy. Oh, they're Albanian Italian. Wow. The lowest type
[01:12:50] Yeah, double as an Albanian and a wall, but if anyone just gave me an word
[01:13:01] a bad kind of person that's hilarious. I think I think Elders has family in Italy that are probably that
[01:13:08] They're like carnees or something gypsies
[01:13:12] Uh-huh, so he is he's wap Albanian. Yeah, I guess he was an actor
[01:13:16] I don't know why I thought he was like just like a shitty TV
[01:13:20] Well, I thought he was on like hill street blues or something like I thought he was just like one of those guys that was on
[01:13:26] You know just shitty the same way that you know, maybe it's just because I
[01:13:30] Merge him and uh shatner in my head. Mm. That makes sense
[01:13:34] You sound shatner was on like TJ hooker. Yeah TJ hooker
[01:13:38] Um, it's funny that that was just a job. You just like
[01:13:44] Like carcing a presenter. Carcing was never like a comedy. Well, there's Ryan Seacrest
[01:13:49] Yeah, he's never done shit. Yeah, but he's one of the few guys who does that. Yeah, I can't imagine you have a career
[01:13:57] You know what I mean though with like this is a dumb. You host like a million different shows
[01:14:04] We get a host million shows that you become like a professional
[01:14:06] We're all going into children's entertainment after this. I'm hosting the kids choice awards next year
[01:14:17] Music or something. This is the best actor unmolested division
[01:14:22] Uh, I just want to say Dan Schneider's a pedophile
[01:14:25] Just kidding everybody. It'll be funny. They let nor mcdonald host the kids choice awards
[01:14:31] Wow, uh, yeah, this show was uh so good. I bet the actors weren't raped by dan Schneider
[01:14:39] I'm just kidding. I'm just I'm just kidding with your folks. Yeah
[01:14:43] Just messing around. Yeah, his sps model is sps rocked. Yeah
[01:14:52] There's a close up of pet young pete manning in there pete mane by the way
[01:14:56] He he probably didn't he like put his ass on a woman doctor or some shit. Mm-hmm. It's pretty funny
[01:15:02] I mean it's fucked up. Wasn't that bet far for no, he said it dick. No, bet far. I'm sent his little penis out there
[01:15:08] Yeah, and his dick kind of looked like mine. Honestly, so salute
[01:15:11] He got a tight four screen. It's got a little dick
[01:15:14] That's pretty cool. Does he have a tight foreskin? I know he's she's chopped off his cock is chopped off
[01:15:21] It it kind of was skinny in the same way
[01:15:27] In the middle the middle gets skinny the chest piece. I guess
[01:15:40] But there's maybe a divot in the middle of my cock. I've been told I'm a pretty cock
[01:15:46] That's not but not a not large. You don't have a pretty good. It's aesthetically. You don't have a pretty cock. How do you know?
[01:15:52] Did you just you haven't seen it all torqued up before there's no way. It's pretty. It's nice birthmark
[01:15:57] It's probably fine. That sounds bad. No, it's a cute birthmark. No, it's maybe that's of skin cancer. I could see your dick being cute
[01:16:13] Your dick is cute, but it's not hot dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, yeah
[01:16:17] Do you think Adams cock is hot or cute pretty?
[01:16:24] It's right there the microphone your microphones right there
[01:16:29] Okay, we're sorry Nick just went to pee guys
[01:16:36] I tell you I really enjoyed pissing what would older I get the more I enjoy what about it? I don't know
[01:16:42] The flute the sensation you guys ever had a hemorrhoid. No, I think so. I think I might have one right now
[01:16:48] Yeah, I think so because I shot blood and I thought it's gonna die, but then I didn't
[01:16:53] It's I thought it's just a sore on your asshole
[01:16:57] From sitting on the toilet to now you got herpes because I take no I cuz I shit got hurt my man got herpes on his ass
[01:17:03] Oh, no, it's my ass hurts because I take a shit's like three three shit
[01:17:07] So that's yeah, her face on his ass when I'm really shitting my my ass starts really hurting
[01:17:16] Just Adam going to the gynecologist and sitting with his feet up on the stirrups upside down
[01:17:24] Well on his belly, I'm sure you're already but you gave for
[01:17:36] They can't you're right. They can't tell you but they know it's against the Hippocratic. Oh, it was against love
[01:17:52] Nobody tell my dad that I'm a got home stuck a dick inside my soul
[01:17:59] Oh fuck, I said look out now. I'm fucking growing a bitch. I can side my ass put my dick in your ass
[01:18:07] Lift her dick. She put her dick in my ass
[01:18:11] My ass is the American way. I'm an American faggot. Oh
[01:18:23] Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Paul Simon ladies and gentlemen Tom penis and the cocksuckers ladies and gentlemen
[01:18:29] Adolf Hitler if I was listening SNL I'd do that. Yeah, you know a lot of a lot of people don't know this
[01:18:39] But all those videos of Hitler speaking are fake
[01:18:42] Dubbed over with German. He was he actually sounded a lot like Frank Sinatra
[01:18:48] Gorgeous voice. Yeah, I tell you people if there's one thing I can't stand this is June
[01:18:58] Beautiful, oh, yeah doing folks. It was like a lot of that's how you
[01:19:03] Again, they did a lot of bad stuff, but you have to admit he had a beautiful voice
[01:19:10] All those videos doctored and sped up. Yeah, he's usually taking his time. Yeah, not twitchy
[01:19:19] It is funny that Hitler was just basically on Adderall
[01:19:21] She's on like amphetamines everyone was all yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's pretty funny
[01:19:28] And he was just give up about it have sex amines Freud did bumps all day. I think
[01:19:36] Just a little bump get the good shit. We get the pudet from in fucking France. What is that? Is that cocaine? Yeah
[01:19:44] Yeah, yeah, that was like it was like an anest
[01:19:47] General or not a localized I want to move to Colombia and just smoke these smoke cocaine all day long
[01:19:55] Smoke it I thought you just chew the little pan in my hat and like make a little cocaine cigarette
[01:20:04] She likes it. I don't she likes calling you. I don't like it. I'm delicate stop rubbing your little pussy all over me
[01:20:15] What are we gonna you're gonna smoke cocaine? Yeah
[01:20:20] Like crack no you just put the cocaine you you take coca leaves and
[01:20:26] Then you you roll those into a little cigar, but then you sprinkle cocaine in and also
[01:20:34] So you use the leaves never yeah my pan in my hat is slowly turning into the picture that guy who forced the stewardess to wipe his ass
[01:20:45] In in 60 years or whatever however long it takes to become that guy I believe in you bro
[01:20:50] I love that guy you could do that in 20 if you really wanted to we gotta find a bit to close this out all right
[01:21:00] Yeah, I can't really think of anything let's see it's a nice day out. It's a nice day
[01:21:05] I miss the work it showed the botanical garden. Oh no, I know I didn't go to the car show this year either
[01:21:14] What are you gonna we got we got to take you to a nice event, dude? Yeah, I got it
[01:21:41] There was like I didn't think about the Zee I'm like what the fuck are the gorillas like how do you both know this band? I have no idea what you're talking about I'm like I guess I'm a
[01:21:57] I don't actually know that band, but I just looked it up and it turns out only gay guys know who that's not true
[01:22:03] Yeah, I just think I look at the search engine. I was wondering why I didn't know what that band was and I wait Adam
[01:22:09] What I just checked the search engine Nick used to find that out. What's it? What is it turns out?
[01:22:14] It's what search engine was it I can't tell you but
[01:22:19] No, you gotta tell me no no, it's no just in the future that will let me finish my statement
[01:22:24] Yeah, that search engine. Uh-huh it tells guys with a little dick the opposite of the truth. Oh
[01:22:32] No because you have a little dick till the opposite of the
[01:22:35] Googles Google opposite. Yeah, I heard it. Yeah. It was Google opposite
[01:22:42] So you use Google opposite and because you have a little dick it told you that I was
[01:22:46] I didn't use it. I saw that you use it. I know about it
[01:22:52] Because my dick isn't small it told me the correct answer which is that the gorillas
[01:22:57] I just knew about it. I saw that you honor. I rest my case. He didn't look on his search engine to see what kind of search engine
[01:23:05] I used a face clothes. Look at your phone and he saw Google off
[01:23:10] Why would he look at a Google officer? Why would he search on Google opposite to say which search engine?
[01:23:16] I was sorry, but your true friend won't be able to help me. Yeah, this is a slam dunk
[01:23:21] No, that's what they referred to as a slam dunk case. Mm-hmm. Yeah
[01:23:35] The Kobe Bryant rape trial or whatever the
[01:23:40] Prosecular the defense attorney was like
[01:23:43] In this instance, I regret using the term a slam dunk rape case
[01:23:48] But that's very much what we're looking at here
[01:23:53] This is a slam dunk rape case in both the fact that we have a basketball star who performs slam dunks at his job
[01:24:04] But he is also this is also a very easily
[01:24:10] That'd be fun. I love watching actual footage of real prosecutors and you realize they're all just dumb as shit
[01:24:18] Or at least they're not good at talking. Yeah, you know, not like in movies. No, not like in the musical Chicago
[01:24:24] Right. There's never can you imagine like a prosecutor trying to do the Matthew McConaughey a time to kill thing
[01:24:32] Yeah, weird wasp features in like male pattern baldness
[01:24:41] Mr. Michaels, are you okay? You crying sir? Are you crying to get second? Yeah?
[01:24:46] That's why fucking Johnny Cochran worked there asses dude that
[01:24:49] Oh, yeah, the lady with the little right he took him to church, you know
[01:24:52] He made a little short Jerry curl or whatever the fuck Marcia Clark. Yeah
[01:24:57] Ladies and gentlemen the jury if you don't mind I will put on an instrumental of Grandmaster flash in the furious fire
[01:25:02] I will be wrapping my closing statement. I will be real to take for my closing statement
[01:25:09] I will be putting on a atomic dog in the background
[01:25:21] Yeah, what must he be like that why must he chase the cat is nothing but the dog in my client ladies and gentlemen
[01:25:27] Mm-hmm. He loves pussy. Don't we all are you gonna deny him that right?
[01:25:49] Now ladies and gentlemen of the jury y'all ain't gay on I
[01:25:57] Supposed I thought it was weird when they were barking at Christine Blasey Ford during her testimony
[01:26:06] I'm terrible in the hippocampus is the barking performed by Steve Harvey and his friends
[01:26:16] Dellable in the hip-hop guys that look like is this song atomic dog by George
[01:26:21] And the barking noise is being performed by Steve Harvey and his friends
[01:26:37] All right, you you want to name some more actors
[01:26:47] Come down down events me and Adam of both we're both tweeting and shit about it
[01:26:52] We'll probably post some more stuff about it, but yes, please come see us
[01:27:03] That's right, you will rule my ass for pleasure