Cum Town | Regular | 05/16/2019
[00:00:00] It's Katie Perry the lion song but check I am a lion and you're gonna make me
[00:00:15] My little fucking dick well, I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to
[00:00:33] Tom is inherently funny wait a minute. What about the show that Lewis pitched with me you and Lewis called bastard radio
[00:00:39] We've made to serious acts out. Yeah, have you lost all
[00:00:49] Yeah, I mean like and first of all Lewis making fun of a guy like Tom
[00:00:58] You know, it's so funny if Lewis was white people would assume he had the same mental deficiencies the top
[00:01:04] That's right. Yeah, they give him a break because he's Puerto Rican. They're like yeah, he's affable that is a little more with it
[00:01:16] Tom's a character. Yes, we've got Tim Dillon here Tim's here
[00:01:20] And the way it worked out is we happen to get him right after we wanted to get him on cuz he's in Boston this weekend
[00:01:25] So plug those you laugh Boston Friday and Saturday
[00:01:28] Come on out to that if you're in Boston go see
[00:01:34] Stupid I cannot responsible for anything that happens if you come out with your you know
[00:01:43] Acasio-Cortez shirt no way and some kidding Boston's very liberal. Yes, and it's gonna be a lot of fun
[00:01:49] The show see Tim, but the way it worked out time wise. We call it in fresh off a real ass podcast
[00:01:56] Yeah, the one the only Tom. Oh, you come over and I didn't want to
[00:02:02] Fuck I didn't really want to discuss the Tom shit, but you know, I mean if there's just too much to talk
[00:02:11] And I've been dragging my feet hosting this show lately
[00:02:15] I apologize for that. I've been suffering from a little bit of acid reflux. I didn't want to go public with it
[00:02:21] Yeah, you're brave though. I know you were gonna fight this thing
[00:02:24] This way little kids that have acid reflux they hear you say the N word and they're like I can do that one
[00:02:33] Oh shit, and it's there's just no chance so like he's they're like oh
[00:02:38] Yeah, what are the symptoms of the acid reflux and also esophagal cancer the symptoms of esophagal cancer
[00:02:44] I guess they're like thinking you have the flu for six months and ignoring the tennis ball size lymph nodes on the side of your head
[00:02:52] Little something those are the yeah, yeah
[00:02:55] Constantly having like 12 beers right you having like 35 beers
[00:03:00] Call your stomach pain, but he just said I guess like I'm like genetically predisposed a little bit of
[00:03:08] It just it just feels like a cold burning sensation in my chest interesting because up to you know like my throat
[00:03:13] And it's like there's a hard lump in there and then when it gets worse
[00:03:17] Sometimes they'll like burp and you can feel like the just stomach acid like splash up into the back
[00:03:22] Yeah, well I've had that you ever wake up in the middle of the night and you feel like you're throwing up
[00:03:27] But it's I think everything I say stop goes. Yes, two three words and I know exactly
[00:03:32] I know exactly what it's like you you wake up and you got this and something's in your throat
[00:03:36] It's like you cough up this stomach acid or whatever it is and then you just swallow it well
[00:03:40] Here's what it is. Yeah, you filled you we have filled our stomachs so to the brim really that there is shit coming
[00:03:46] It's literally a space issue. I believe Wow where it's like there's a fucking cheeseburger
[00:03:54] Do you know what I mean? Yeah, that's really what it is when you're this fat and you don't usually get heartburned right?
[00:04:00] Yeah, I know because you've overstuffed yourself to the point that there was no
[00:04:04] That's right. I don't know scientifically. It's correct now. Here's why I know because if I take a real fat shit
[00:04:12] Not a problem. Yeah, sometimes I know when I go to sleep and I haven't shit. I know there's a huge problem
[00:04:18] No, it's it's a really shit coming out of your mouth if you really know
[00:04:22] It's because then sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night
[00:04:24] And I'm just like something's wrong and I don't know what it is sweating. I'm sweating sweating
[00:04:29] Yeah, and I don't know if I should go to a hospital. Yeah, yeah, and then yeah, and you're like oh, yeah
[00:04:35] And then you're shit, and then you're okay. I've never I've never had to wake up to shit ever
[00:04:39] Are you kidding me like oh, I've woke there was a period of my life. It's an emergency every night
[00:04:45] Yeah, six times a night. Mm-hmm. No, there's there's was a period of my life
[00:04:48] Which you know comes comes in and out where I wouldn't even have to set an alarm
[00:04:53] It would be I would just wake up shitting it. We're needing to shit in a cold sweat. Yeah, the first thing I remember is my asshole
[00:04:59] Clinch I'm waking up from the power of my asshole clinching. Yeah the turd that's trying to escape
[00:05:05] And then if you go to sit down to shit, and you can't shit you go. I have a whole oh, that's world of hell
[00:05:11] That's right. You have to give birth to a turd and then there's something
[00:05:19] And it not being sick like if you sit down at 6 30 on the toilet, you're like all right other people are awake, right?
[00:05:25] I wish I feel like I'm not contributing, but I have no understanding of what you're talking
[00:05:30] Yeah, it's like you're describing something outside of the visible spectrum of light. Yes, exactly
[00:05:36] You're both effusively talking about a color
[00:05:42] You'll never know is there a German word
[00:05:48] She's a Gestalt it's fear. It's only something that you know, it's a turn. It's an uneasiness. There's fear
[00:05:55] There's but there's also a strange satisfaction and relief. Yes, it is part of the the purging side
[00:06:01] This is our specific kind of eating disorder
[00:06:04] Have you ever seen a spider heard from our mouths it comes out of our asses?
[00:06:07] Have you ever seen a spider molten? It just sheds its skin and it becomes another spider?
[00:06:13] Do I feel like I swear it is after that shit comes out. Yeah, you shit out a person. Have you ever had you ever weighed yourself?
[00:06:26] Have you ever weighed yourself before shit? I've never weighed myself before or after a shit or any time
[00:06:32] I've never gotten on a scale and was like well, what is it? What's the number today?
[00:06:37] Yeah, I don't need to know. Yeah, I don't really want to know I just I go by like how the clothes fit and how the airplane feels right
[00:06:47] It's the people in the row complain to the flight attendant in front of me
[00:06:52] How heavy the sign when they see me walking in that middle seat
[00:06:56] I mean people literally now will do like they take a deep breath and they go
[00:07:01] Like they're preparing themselves for war like it's Game of Thrones mice when I sit down next to a guy
[00:07:09] They got two seats just out of respect for everyone else on the trip. Honestly, I I want to live that lifestyle
[00:07:14] I mean, that's a baller. I want to get a row
[00:07:19] It's just there's like a couple like in a row and that guy comes by and he's bought both tickets
[00:07:24] But he did wait for seat assignment and he's like excuse me. So can you move so I can be fast?
[00:07:34] I'm actually responsibly. Yeah, just I just want to be here with myself
[00:07:40] I'm traveling with my hundreds of pounds. Yeah, X says actually own this part of the plane
[00:07:46] So if you could move that seat is for my thigh and nuts
[00:07:52] Why I and left not are sitting there actually yeah
[00:07:56] But everyone's gotten so fat now that I'm
[00:08:00] A lot of them neck a lot of more fat. Yes, and on a beach. I don't feel bad on a beach anymore
[00:08:08] Be a fun move is to be like a fat wigger and you get on a plane and you find like the only person that's fatter
[00:08:14] You'd be like damn man people are big this bitches
[00:08:18] This is my fucking biggest shit damn you fat as hell son
[00:08:26] It's a right shining on them. You're also fat
[00:08:32] Sir, please be quiet. I'm saying he's fat
[00:08:36] My man fatty shit sir, please your cookie monster fitted the bills backwards and hitting the person yeah
[00:08:42] I went to came hard and I got started up me. I start up my lips
[00:08:48] This reminds you of a kid that I grew up with named Chico white kid named Chico. He's dead now and
[00:08:54] You know, but he picked that name or what I don't know
[00:08:58] That's a thing if parents gave it to him. It was kind of like basically riding his ticket
[00:09:03] Yeah, you know like they're like well, this is he's probably gonna sell coke and then die at 24. I'll correct
[00:09:10] But I think he might have picked it. I don't know nice guy
[00:09:14] But you know, that's exactly how he sounded
[00:09:16] Yeah, he would just rip on people who's in summer school every year would she look forward to yeah
[00:09:20] He would like come up to you at the end of school. He'd be like, yo bro. You going I'm like, yeah, I'm probably going
[00:09:34] He liked it dude, it was like his yeah, he loved it. He's getting molested
[00:09:38] I mean summer school is a better system. It's so much fun
[00:09:41] It's three weeks and then you've accomplished a year of what they got you like in that class my summer school teacher
[00:09:47] Miss Ruisi brought her baby in to teach us that because I I went to Catholic high school
[00:09:53] But the school I would have gone to my public school was like a hood school
[00:09:58] It was like, you know, so miss Ruisi was like an Italian
[00:10:01] Woman and she had a mixed-race baby, which is lovely which I think is great speaking of which I just watched green book
[00:10:08] The how was it did you enjoy it? No, I turned it off. Yeah, I've never seen I don't understand how things like that
[00:10:14] I was just like glowing reviews across the board. Well people are insane. They're insane
[00:10:19] I think people were saying that it was bad like cool people were saying it's bad. Oh good as long as the cool guys
[00:10:24] Yeah, it's just seen after seeing where it's like somebody's racist
[00:10:32] The Italian guy isn't right like the movie
[00:10:37] Yeah, they're like listen, I don't mean to bother you, but he's not allowed to eat in here
[00:10:42] You know what's what's the matter? Why can't you just make go that make a rule for him?
[00:10:46] Like sorry, we got to leave and then like the next thing is like he's not allowed to drown the clothes
[00:10:50] I'm like jeez what the heck is what's going on with these
[00:10:56] And the next scene is like he's not allowed to eat dinner here
[00:11:01] Like they pulled the dinner one like twice hilarious, it's like there's only so many ways people in the south can be racist
[00:11:07] Yeah, you know and I'm sure you know it's a true story about the guy that played fucking Carmine on the sopranos
[00:11:16] By a graphical picture the guy who played Carmine on the sopranos. That was his actual life
[00:11:21] Well, he was just defending black people. No, he was a he was a driver
[00:11:32] Holy fuck him some yeah some finook moolie
[00:11:39] But no it be the son wrote the screenplay and with one of the fairly brothers
[00:11:44] Yeah, and so but because this like you can tell because if you go more than get just not stuck in his zipper
[00:11:53] Yeah, but I mean because the son wrote it it just comes off like you know any Italian I've ever met being like
[00:12:03] My dad was my dad was the first guy to not be racist
[00:12:07] As it came up with that and was my pops it did it but he was also in the mafia
[00:12:13] It was the entire move well that guy the guy the son who wrote the screenplay also
[00:12:18] They found a tweet of his like from like 2015 where he was like mr. Trump. I was there in New Jersey
[00:12:24] I saw the Muslim celebrating after the towers were falling down. Yeah, well that's green book too
[00:12:33] Defending Muslims in Jersey if it was it if it was an actual agree with what they do what they got the first
[00:12:41] True story about Italians in the 60s would be called I ain't reading that fucking book
[00:12:52] Yeah, they're progressive people also yeah, exactly there's no way to fuck anyway
[00:12:57] But also the the jazz the pianist or whoever the fuck the black guy space though his family was like
[00:13:03] Do not make this movie. Oh really like we hate this movie the book
[00:13:08] It's a dad it's all bullshit. It's not adapted from a book. Oh whatever like I guess whatever story they're telling
[00:13:13] Yeah, I just saw them being like no this is absolutely this didn't have any one best picture, right? Yeah, what was it up against?
[00:13:24] Was up against black pants well they gave the black panther a nomination gosh
[00:13:29] They should be a crossover and they should have a guy in black pantry. It's like jeez why why what the fuck's a problem?
[00:13:37] Why the fuck is I think is you know, I mean it's not as good as
[00:13:42] Nice good as Italy which I know it is in to south Bronx. I've been in the same neighborhood my whole life. I
[00:13:55] The best thing is hearing like a cop or a white guy try not to be racist
[00:13:59] I did uncle uncle Eddie was a cop for like 30 years in the south Bronx and all of those guys are Mark Furman on this
[00:14:05] Yeah, they're all and they're all just he goes like one time. He sees like listen
[00:14:08] They they got families like us, you know, but they'll just say the most obvious things
[00:14:14] They'll be like they got they got families like us those people, you know that they got be they have kids
[00:14:19] They have babies that come out of their pussy. They're vagina. They have a bed and that baby comes out like just like we do
[00:14:25] It's like, oh, okay uncle Eddie. I saw one time. I swear to God. I saw one drinking water. Yeah
[00:14:30] Water like we do they just want the kids have water and you know, so that's where I'm just helping
[00:14:43] He this is not about black people's about gay people when yeah, he was like finally
[00:14:50] He was fine. This was his idea of being progressive after years of brow beating him into being like don't be homophobic
[00:14:56] He was like he would drive around and throw disco balls on their lawn. Yeah
[00:15:05] Like why don't we have money for the motor kids you
[00:15:13] He was like, okay fine. They can get married, but do they have to have kids that was well
[00:15:22] His that's that was my dad's middle ground was like let them get married don't let them adopt children. Okay
[00:15:28] That's him. I don't know. I mean it's like they should be able to adopt kids
[00:15:31] But I like I don't think that's like wildly in the mind of a bigot
[00:15:36] I mean if you think that there's something wrong with being gay and you're willing you think it's like like a pervasive
[00:15:42] Like mental disorder right and which it is I think we can all well you think that and you're like look
[00:15:48] But you know what it's fucking none of my business
[00:15:49] Let these people do what they want you should be like they should be able to adopt kids and have sex with
[00:15:57] Your father and you're like we need to have another talk you old greek bastard. Yeah
[00:16:03] They should I can push it basically good hot kids and make out with those kids in his mind
[00:16:09] He thinks that's happening that they're like you're like this suck dick preferably mom right and he's like he's like what?
[00:16:17] Yeah, and then he's like all he's saying is he's like and I just think that's a little too far
[00:16:21] I think it's a little too far. I just think that's too far
[00:16:24] I understand that I've been wrong in the past. You should see how far hear it out see how far over the line
[00:16:29] You can drag I'm like maybe he'll be like can't they just jerk off to pictures and kids?
[00:16:34] Maybe that should be legal. Can't they just look at children having sex with other children penetrative sex
[00:16:41] Yeah, you can get sucked off by their son, but that's it, but that's it. Stop. Yeah
[00:16:50] Yeah, I do love that shit. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's uh
[00:16:54] It's rough out there for the gays for the heart for the homosexual very hard
[00:17:01] Every day well that that rat from Arthur the gay ass teacher. He's a man. Well, that helps
[00:17:09] I remember you call me you were crying. I was crying
[00:17:13] Story lines I had jerked off to that rat for years, but the idea that he would never reciprocate
[00:17:21] reciprocate because I love be she out I really not even get
[00:17:33] Know I like seeing animals come out of the closet because it brings us one step closer to where it's okay to fuck animals
[00:17:40] Yeah, that's really where this whole goat and thank Christ. Yeah, God
[00:17:48] Little gas rodent with a musket. I don't know I
[00:17:56] I think a lot of people had that crush. Yeah, well that's Nyla was the trans lion
[00:18:09] You ain't get to sit on that rock all day
[00:18:23] Back to my chambers, please. What's the song be prepared? Yeah, take prep is that what they say?
[00:18:31] You just take a little pill and then you don't need to use protection
[00:18:38] Be prepared right I don't remember be prepared. That was the big that's a
[00:18:43] That's a big song. They love that prepared do they people take it a lot, you know
[00:18:49] Didn't wasn't there something in the news where like you so they said there were like five cases of people
[00:18:54] Contracting HIV that were on prep. Yeah, I mean prep is probably just a placebo
[00:19:03] You have no idea what it is. They're like, oh, it's it is an M like an M and M
[00:19:08] It's like it's it's 300 a month and you're not gonna get AIDS. You're like well can someone shit blood in my mouth
[00:19:18] Yeah, you can use intravenously now you can share needles
[00:19:21] Yeah, the clinical trials for that was they gave it to a bunch of chimps and then the professors had sex
[00:19:27] And then six months later. They're like, well, I don't have AIDS. I guess it works
[00:19:33] I love the the name of it too. It's like prepare prep
[00:19:36] Uh-huh just prep just prep right like you're about to take the SAT. Yeah, that's right
[00:19:43] Sharing needles. Yeah, it's like you sit down with your son. You're like now you hand him a pill
[00:19:48] You're like now success is when preparation meets opportunity
[00:19:52] So now you go prep would take this pill douche out your asshole. You never know when you're getting married
[00:20:04] So the kids don't get it. I mean if you're gonna come in someone's mouth
[00:20:08] Especially a kid who might have cuts or swords in there. There's not that kid on pieces. These are through
[00:20:14] There's no mommy so the baby drink the daddy come
[00:20:20] That's fine. Let's do whatever they want
[00:20:26] You're like but dad breast milk can also have AIDS and he's like I once again I'm wrong
[00:20:32] Let's just let the baby shut the door. He's like off. I can't participate in the world. Let the baby's dream
[00:20:39] Let me get out of 19. Let gay people baby fuck mouth
[00:20:47] That is like sometimes you'll talk to people. They don't even know what's being debated
[00:20:50] Like about the abortion thing. You know like older people will be like listen
[00:20:54] They're taking babies out of the womb. They're picking out which one should get killed and then they're killing
[00:20:59] You know and you're like is that what's happening?
[00:21:03] Alabama just said no abortions. Well, I think the future is good
[00:21:09] It's gonna be red states where you like go to jail and are executed for like conceiving outside of wedlock
[00:21:15] Right and then blue states where you're allowed to murder your dad
[00:21:20] Trans person right if you were to use the
[00:21:23] Impregnated trans person and then up until the child is five years old. It's your responsibility to kill them if they say anything unwoke
[00:21:31] Yeah, and that's that's reproductive rights 20. What a what a fun country. Uh-huh. I think it's there's gonna be a supreme court challenge
[00:21:39] So for the Alabama thing sure but I then they could overturn Roe v. Wade
[00:21:46] Look once again, I hate to say I told you so but this is your fault if you voted for Hillary Clinton. Yeah, I'm so true
[00:21:53] Because you should have known that Donald Trump would beat her
[00:21:57] Yeah, she voted for Bernie Sanders. That makes sense. I mean the reality is we'd all just written in Bernie said we're still steinin one
[00:22:05] We would have a quartz crystal on the supreme
[00:22:07] Yeah, we've just died one he's gonna win in 2020 and literally nothing will stop that from happening
[00:22:15] Yeah, no, he's gonna win. Well, there's like every day there's a new someone I've never heard of that's like a democratic
[00:22:21] There's like yeah, five now. Yeah, it's fucking hilarious dude. He's well everyone's gonna get one vote from themselves
[00:22:27] Yeah, it'll be fun. It'll just be a nice fun election. It is. Yeah, it's such a weird collection
[00:22:37] Of folks people they're like well, I'm not gonna say I'm an outright communist
[00:22:41] But I do think the transsurgery should be free, but only if you have schizophrenia. Yeah, it's like what
[00:22:48] What is this? Have you like that had Tulsi gabberd? She's like what on rug and she's like
[00:22:52] Listen, we got to unwind the military industrial complex and that's what I'll do on day one
[00:22:59] Day one as soon as I get in there. I'm gonna bring all those generals in the office
[00:23:04] I'm gonna tell them the fun is over boys
[00:23:07] And I'm gonna send them all home and then we'll see what happens. It's like, okay. Oh good. Good luck with that
[00:23:13] Wait, isn't she isn't she like wasn't she she was in the cult?
[00:23:17] She was in a cold family. We're in like a
[00:23:20] Like cult or no, sorry a Hindu cult. Does she have something to do?
[00:23:24] What does she like either strongly pro or anti her family were anti gay
[00:23:29] It was an anti gay cult. Yeah, but it was a pro what call what were they pro?
[00:23:34] They were I think maybe pro killing muslims. They love Israel. They love Israel and hated gays
[00:23:41] It was the best of times. It was the worst of five
[00:23:44] We love Israel, but we do not like gays
[00:23:47] She's like she's a big fan of Modi in India who's like brutal like Hindu national. He's like a he's like a chill wave DJ
[00:23:57] The go be like oh, okay. Yeah, that sounds like a Jewish name. I thought she was gonna be a good
[00:24:04] No, he did that so her natural blues. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know any mobi songs. Oh, I think rogan should interview every cat
[00:24:12] Yeah, absolutely every cat that you go on there. I'm gonna see that natural is with Warren. Yeah, Elizabeth Warren would just doing dmt
[00:24:19] Wasn't with Warren doing salve. He's getting high
[00:24:22] But uh to see gabber. It knows how to surf though. That's pretty cool. And she was in the troops. Nothing wrong with that
[00:24:28] She was one of the truth. What did she do with the troops? She's so sucked it. Yeah
[00:24:33] A few afghan babies in a face. She's kind of a slam pitch. She pissed on a few afghan people great
[00:24:40] Yeah, good for her man. Did Pete Buttigieg kill any people in a I don't know that he released a real good
[00:24:46] This is why we're losing wars because we have Pete Buttigieg and Tulsi gab like those are the people on the front lines
[00:24:56] Trying to win a war against warlords. Well, he's even more sinister than that
[00:25:00] He's like a fucking like doing all the internships for
[00:25:04] We lose them because they're not like wars are just incomplete genocides
[00:25:08] Right truly way to win never finish ever. We never finished the job. Yeah, what did he do?
[00:25:13] What kind of what what uh was in the navy, but it was just like that's a gas one thing of course
[00:25:21] Boys on a boat like no one who goes into the navy
[00:25:24] Doesn't think about fucking a deal. You have to think about it
[00:25:27] I watched uh because I was fantasizing about having uh sex with the men in the navy
[00:25:32] And then I was like, yeah, it would be weird a guy thinking about that stuff in bed by myself in the dark
[00:25:39] Yeah, just saying that out loud. Yeah, it'd be crazy if someone thought about that such a good bit that my mind just did on me
[00:25:48] So I got a text everybody the thing I thought about when somebody else came up with that but uh
[00:25:57] What I would want to see is like a highly fictionalized
[00:26:00] Biographical film about Jerry Bruckheimer and Don Simpson
[00:26:05] And the last night I watched an interview with both of them on charlie rose from 95
[00:26:10] Discussing crimson tide. Yeah, and don't sit don Simpson is just gone. Just coked out of what's his he was like the biggest
[00:26:18] Coke and hollywood or the biggest and he's he is very care
[00:26:21] Is he still alive, but he's just I mean he looks like a dick tracy villain sitting there and he keeps you know rubbing his nose
[00:26:26] And he's like, you know, I'll tell you the bad boys is why we go to the movies and crimson tide is why we make movies
[00:26:32] And that's the thing that I you know, and it's just all this like used car sales. Yeah, huckster bull
[00:26:37] He's probably grossed like five billion dollars at the bar. He's made so much money like maybe I spent he would spend
[00:26:48] He did he probably shared his his autopsy has the record for most
[00:26:52] Substance in a human body at time of death. That's crats amazing. He was on 22
[00:26:58] He was on 22 different drugs at the time of his death that rock dig pills for sure
[00:27:04] Everything yeah, I don't think dig pills had come out yet. It was 96
[00:27:12] Drop he was ahead of where we were like the military is 20 years ahead with technology
[00:27:17] Yeah, yeah 20 years ahead. That's the Alice in 1972. We watch a clip of crimson tide
[00:27:23] And it's just the interaction between jean hackman and uh, densell, washington
[00:27:27] And the clip ends and charlie rose is already looking at donne who's like fidgeting in his seat
[00:27:35] What are you doing? You've already seen this
[00:27:37] It's like I just love it. I love watching people. I love watch global masters of their craft
[00:27:46] Have you seen the new master seat class where like jadapata teaches comedy and no
[00:27:51] Oh, you haven't seen that? I mean it's an insane. Yeah, and it's just like people how to make electronic music
[00:27:56] Yeah, it's like people. It's like marge pours A's he's like gonna teach your movies if you just pay
[00:28:01] Yeah, it's cost you $400. You watch that would have been great don simpson master class
[00:28:07] Coke to his face, you know, that would have been the one
[00:28:10] That would have been the one to pay for oh my god
[00:28:13] The people the talk about the pedophilia he did
[00:28:17] Yeah, but he didn't even know I don't think don simpson was a pedophile. No, don't take all of our heroes. Yeah
[00:28:23] He's probably so shriveled from the fucking i don't think i look yeah
[00:28:27] I think he was a guy that like bought prostitutes and had them piss on him and call him a fag
[00:28:34] He's like that's he's attracted to women
[00:28:37] But he wants them to like degrade him and not even because he was into it. He's just like what's next. Yeah, let's make a move
[00:28:45] I heard that one scene like what his move was just asking to eat puss. Yeah, because it like apparently
[00:28:50] His dick was like so broken. That's not he would just get young guys
[00:28:55] Stop and the go to his hotel and eat their pussies. It might be working
[00:28:58] That's the nicest way to rate some more jimmer. It's marching into rosario dawson's hotel room
[00:29:05] Yeah, and he's like what i'm cute. I'm charming. Let me eat your pussy or pussy
[00:29:12] All the signs were there. We knew what he was doing, but we didn't know
[00:29:16] It's the strangest it's the strangest way to get rich. I did everyone's
[00:29:21] Everyone knew exactly what he was doing, but we didn't care to do anything right
[00:29:26] Maybe that's what they were saying. They were like, yeah, well, he's only eating puss. Yeah, we can't blow the whiskey on it
[00:29:31] He's women are coming. They're coming during their race. How selfish could they've yeah, maybe that's all the women didn't report it. They're like I was coming
[00:29:40] I was actually having an orgasm. Yeah, actually, man. We have a video of the coming. Yeah
[00:29:47] You're uh, thank you. That's why he probably he probably put you with a GoPro on. Yeah, so he has all the tapes
[00:29:56] Let's see the harvey Weinstein go pro footage
[00:30:02] I'll tell you what guys if harvey Weinstein went into this dick to work. You should probably take blue chip. That's right
[00:30:07] What the hell is that? What did you just say?
[00:30:10] What? What the hell is that a chewable because I love chewable. It's a chewable
[00:30:16] Fun stones vitamin thank god, but it's for grownups. Okay. This isn't a little Barney rubble pill. What we got here
[00:30:25] Mm-hmm. It while you find the copy for the ad which by the way, but do I have to go to a doctor or something?
[00:30:35] Is at home looking at his own penis all you do
[00:30:39] Is that take a picture of your soft cock and yeah, send it to the doctor on blue
[00:30:43] You go to blue chew calm and upload a picture of your penis
[00:30:46] You know the picture of your penis soft to support at blue chew calm and then you beat off with your soft dick
[00:31:02] You email support at blue chew calm a picture of your soft penis
[00:31:07] And then they'll respond with a reference number you then send them the pornography that you've been looking at and nudes of your girlfriend
[00:31:15] Back to the support of blue chew calm and then you go on the website sign up and you fill out one simple form
[00:31:21] You put in the reference number in there and they line up your medical charts with the pictures of your penis
[00:31:30] Easy they check if your girlfriend's pussy's fucked up. Yeah, because that might be a lot of
[00:31:38] I tried it woman. I tried and I sent it in and I was like, yeah, I know you're gonna say my girlfriend's pussy's disgusting
[00:31:52] We look at your dick and measured it and your gay
[00:32:01] Everyone to sell the film. That's why you know
[00:32:03] That's how you could come and say you know tell you they're true and then you know they're prescribing the right dosage
[00:32:14] For a tada fill or whatever the fuck is generic sea allis or viagra
[00:32:20] Viagra obviously if your dick is too small in se allis if you're actually gay
[00:32:23] And it comes in a chewable form so it can work faster than pills and you can give it to children you can give it to children
[00:32:39] Your son's dick won't get hard. I'm just saying make the check the baby take appeal. I say it becomes gay
[00:32:49] He's embarrassed. He's embarrassed. It's a big another work
[00:32:53] Give him the boot you build so he can fuck his parents
[00:32:58] Richard 100% certified to work on your baby
[00:33:03] So you can make his penis be good as when he's a baby
[00:33:06] So when he grow up he has a massive big big juice of penis
[00:33:13] The consultation is free so it's cheaper than viagra
[00:33:16] And see allis because I got to pay to go to the doctor at first
[00:33:19] It only takes a few minutes to connect with a blue chew.com
[00:33:22] Affiliated physician. You just got to fill out a chart get to know them you guys smell each other
[00:33:27] So pictures back and forth and they're not a real doctor. We're not a real doctor. Yeah, it's just better. There's another it's another gay man
[00:33:41] Another guy comes soft and they know and these interactions are filmed by blu-choo
[00:33:46] Who sells the video of you guys having on the dark web to make money?
[00:33:50] And that's how they can afford to give you these pills. Yeah low prices
[00:33:58] Subsidized and destiny pornog filled child pornography of your gay couples children
[00:34:05] Taking the pills and blowing them and that's how they can afford to bring you
[00:34:12] Blue chew gives you confidence in bed every time you and your partner will love it
[00:34:15] Tired of reminding yourself that you're gay while you try and have sex with your girl
[00:34:19] Open up let her know who cares because you have you got blue chew on your side to help you accept yourself
[00:34:25] That's right. It'll take care of getting your dick hard so your mind can tear itself apart thinking about
[00:34:30] Will they ship it in discrete packaging or will they come let everyone know that I'm getting a small dick and a mama
[00:34:36] It comes with either discrete packaging. Yeah, so when your mom brings your mail to you
[00:34:44] She'll be like, oh, it's just your custom medicine
[00:34:47] And your books they come in a flashlight sized box. Yeah from from from from rx books
[00:34:54] This company. Yeah, dot real you don't get that passive aggressive unsupportive bitch
[00:34:59] Yeah, and now who doesn't realize that it's her fault that you can't get hard right in a way
[00:35:04] Because her trash pussy. She's her trash pussy
[00:35:07] On the you in the form of a soft little cock right?
[00:35:10] You're lack of respect for women because directly you are you were she was in labor for four minutes
[00:35:16] Right and so your first experience was with a very loose woman
[00:35:19] Yeah, very loose disgusting house wouldn't wait for you to
[00:35:28] And never showed you warmth ever again. It sounds like a good product
[00:35:31] And that's blue tree dot com and they're prescribed but and made in the usa
[00:35:39] All may in the country 95 of our audience is military first responders and they hate buying shit made by chinks
[00:35:45] Yeah, and that's why blue tree dot com is 100 certified not chink made
[00:35:58] I'm reading it. I didn't hate us. Yeah base told us explicitly
[00:36:02] Let the vets know the chinks are hands off on this one. No, and we got some free
[00:36:14] Look my dick was blown off in a rack and I still take blue chu
[00:36:19] So that the nerves that are still there remember why I made that sacrifice
[00:36:23] And it's so that I can drive a truck made by guys like me
[00:36:29] And you drive a truck take a dick bill take a dick if my comedy center is picked up
[00:36:34] This is the uh clip I will send to them
[00:36:36] Try to get nicked to head writer's job. I won't say anything ready after it finishes. I'll go you see
[00:36:44] Yeah, so you know you can just imagine hardworking union type guys in a factory
[00:36:49] They're sweaty steaming pressing these pills into existence while Bruce Springsteen plays in the back
[00:36:55] That's the other man will be virile because of their work
[00:36:59] They just have a hardworking job and they go home to their wives and their family who they treat right because the bible showed them how
[00:37:05] Yeah, and that's that's who's making these dick pills. I bless you
[00:37:08] For small dick gay guys. So true and do it
[00:37:11] Here's a great deal for you guys visit blue chu.com and get your first order free when you use promo code come town
[00:37:16] Just pay five dollar shipping. That's blu
[00:37:21] Cum to wn what a great promo code for the product. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, sir
[00:37:28] Oh, yeah, team. You ever used a dick bill? Yes, I yeah, viagra
[00:37:31] My friend gave me my a my friends a sex attitude. Fuck these dick into it's just barely works. Yes, and so he's respect
[00:37:39] Yeah, no, he's really uh, you know, he's turned it out. What does he use now like a cock pump?
[00:37:44] He now he like you know, what's this sex addict in the gay community? Uh, no, he's straight
[00:37:52] He he just can't not fuck like he's you know like he like uh like what monogamy's not at all an option at all
[00:38:00] Like you know the opposite end of the spectrum. Yeah, where's his all monogamy? He's a painful necessity
[00:38:06] Yeah, it's something you have to do to get people alike here, right? You fuck like a cat fox
[00:38:10] It's just like every one sentence. Yeah. Yeah, just just so people know i'm normal. Okay, right?
[00:38:17] Right. You're going to the most you know the sex addict in the gay community is dead. Look
[00:38:25] I can relax and have fun with somebody. Yeah, I'm capable of that
[00:38:28] And this is what rent was about rent was a show about sex addicts who deserved their punishment for god
[00:38:34] Yeah, and they sang about it. Yeah, that was a great
[00:38:37] That's when broadway was fun because people from ohio would go into a theater because they thought like rent was like, you know
[00:38:42] Really hip and like I want to think rat and that would just be people going eight eight for a half hour
[00:38:54] Eight blood in your face and jersey boys is like hey look fellas
[00:38:58] I'm not gay and nothing but i'm feeling like maybe we should sing a song
[00:39:04] I'll have sex with my wife or i'll do the step dance. Yeah, maybe i'll do a little bit of time dancing
[00:39:09] But i'm you know this is out of character for me
[00:39:17] Broadway now feels like i i've even thing i see is just like a latin or it's bad
[00:39:21] There's a good show called the ferryman about the iris republican army and the iris people are portrayed as true and it's true just as drunk
[00:39:32] The show is literally just people running around the stage swinging whiskey and dancing
[00:39:38] It'll be like if they did a show about black people they're just eating buckets of chicken
[00:39:42] And like this whole family's just drunk all the time. They're dancing around everybody's fine
[00:39:47] It's a good it's a good show that yeah, well, I mean iris politics are all about figuring out who to be mad out about your
[00:39:51] molestation yeah, that's true and i still think it is the protestants who live in delfast
[00:39:58] I got an argument on my tour bus watch with an irish
[00:40:01] guy who with the horses because I said I just pointed at him and I said the horses roll out of here soon and he started going nuts
[00:40:08] He's like yo don't know what you're talking about and he and there was just tourists on the bus watching me scream at this
[00:40:13] iris guy who like kind of top hat on i mean he really looked for dick he was one of the broadest horses on the tour
[00:40:18] No, he was one of the carriage guys in central par
[00:40:22] So we were stopped by the park and i was just like you see these guys there was a little aggressive
[00:40:25] I said you see them they're all done. They're gonna kick the horses out of here
[00:40:29] And he's like you don't know what to fuck you're talking about
[00:40:31] You started screaming at me and I just said why don't you put a bomb in a baby carriage and belfast you animal
[00:40:38] And the halt like the tour was like like really really like what is
[00:40:42] Going on, but he was screaming at me called me faggot and everything
[00:40:45] I don't even know it's gonna be a faggot and he had a get a top like a purple top hat on
[00:40:50] Pulling me a faggot outside of central par
[00:40:54] Just a guy dressed like drop dead Fred and he anything screaming and he thinks he has like a steely quiet dignity
[00:41:00] That's what that guy imagine himself is being like, you know, you show patience to people, you know, whatever
[00:41:07] He went home that day. He looked at his wife probably hit her and he's like this faggot was yelling that's we're done
[00:41:12] We're never done. Yeah, his wife who looks exactly like you, but yeah
[00:41:17] Irish women age like cabbages. This is a fact
[00:41:21] I am the moat like Irish women are all masculine. They all have varicose veins. They all smoke cigarettes
[00:41:26] They ash their cigarettes into seashell ashtrays old breasts. Yeah, they have names like Terry
[00:41:33] Lady named Terry who was a maid it was the only Irish white maid left
[00:41:36] And she would go and just scrub my grandmother's house and she would get drunk and her my grandmother would just get hammered and every time Terry would drive
[00:41:43] Home she would call up my grandmother's answering machine and go I made it and hung up
[00:41:48] Just so my grandmother knew she wasn't in jail
[00:41:50] Because she was literally a bottle over the legal limit and she had scrubbed her hands down to bloody nubs
[00:41:59] What a throw they were doomed race the Irish. Yeah doomed. Yeah
[00:42:06] Yeah, what do you mean to Adam like you are? Well Nick is sure
[00:42:16] Eastern it's always fun like you have like a nice couple comes to like a show and they're like hey man
[00:42:20] I heard about you on come town and then like lay just a nice professional couple
[00:42:25] And then the guy will say to me like in front of other people go you should rape at them
[00:42:28] And then walk out of cap city in Austin. I'm like, yeah, thanks
[00:42:33] And then like someone who doesn't know the joke. Yeah, we'll be like, okay
[00:42:38] You know just standing there like yeah, all right because the thing is is like it would be bad
[00:42:42] You shouldn't do it, but it would be fun. It would be a great day for the show would be very fun
[00:42:48] It would be very fun. It's one of those, you know, it's kind of one of those roger rabbit things
[00:42:52] It's like oh my god. If I got raped, I'd be such a drama queen about it. I would do that for months
[00:42:58] You would be really upset and you would need to be in therapy for the rest of your life
[00:43:05] Yeah, I mean he's gonna be there anyway. Let's make it
[00:43:10] Yeah, but imagine being like a casual fan of this podcast and six months from now just hearing
[00:43:21] As a bit as a bit it was just like not as a bit, but that's what would make it fun
[00:43:27] Mail on mill rape since it's because I don't know how you would do it like I'm literally even thinking about
[00:43:32] How you would legend the other person. I mean you it literally
[00:43:36] Well in jail they use two guys well that's true, but that that's serious
[00:43:40] Physical you can't get out and somebody grabs you and you just that is what it is very violent
[00:43:45] But on the outside, let's say I want to true. Yes a lot of it a lot of it is coercion
[00:43:49] I'm trying to be yeah, you'd be surprised you could probably talk somebody into gay sex by just
[00:43:55] Like physically intimidating them without doing anything interesting like in a good
[00:44:00] No, can you explain how that would can you take me step-by-step how that would work?
[00:44:06] There's a um, there's a breeding process. Yeah, right?
[00:44:10] To the same to the same degree that people will just fucking quote unquote get mugged by handing their fucking money over to somebody
[00:44:16] It's like come on man. Just give me your wallet like that happens someone is like that happens literally all the
[00:44:22] There you would suck their dick. I think there. Yes. Did you see him probably
[00:44:25] Coercin to doing that what it happens it happens to women all the time. It's like you know, I mean if you're scared for their physical
[00:44:33] So are plenty of like so plenty of men that won't stand up for themselves
[00:44:37] But I feel like a lot of men want that to have if that's the case. I feel like a lot of them
[00:44:42] Right because now I'm thinking I should have raped so many people
[00:44:48] Like abbie and karen had some like guy over here that was like a british guy that I guess did their podcast or whatever
[00:44:54] Yeah, well, I know I've like just told who it is, but whatever I fucking took it ad jeff leech here
[00:45:01] Sitting here and he's talking about like uh, you know, he's like new to he's like fucking british. He's visiting the york
[00:45:06] He's like yeah, you know, I'm like just um, you know, it's my first time here or whatever
[00:45:10] I had a kind of an interesting experience and he's like I was in times square and I got mugged
[00:45:15] I'm like what I was like you got mugged in times square. What is his 1998 like?
[00:45:21] And he's like some guy was just like, you know, he said he had CDs and he was like, you know
[00:45:24] Do you have any money on you and I pulled out my wallet and he was like just let me uh
[00:45:28] He's like just let me get all of it or whatever and he's like I didn't know what to do
[00:45:31] So I just gave him my money and I kind of walked away
[00:45:39] He just handed $600 to a man in the middle of times square surrounded by police officers
[00:45:44] Because he like was just pushed into this corner because he's like socially awkward
[00:45:50] So if you don't think that that's a guy you can be like man
[00:45:52] Suck my dick or i'll fucking beat the shit out of you and he's not gonna be like what?
[00:45:56] I want to be rude. I mean like that's who would happen. I guess put a dick is
[00:46:03] Believe I'm not letting somebody take $600 from me
[00:46:06] What I'm saying is it's so easy to just the the physical act of handing someone 600
[00:46:11] I'm not letting someone takes $600 from either
[00:46:13] Yeah, but the physical act of just opening your wallet and handing someone a stack
[00:46:16] Let's let's take this another way if I give you $600
[00:46:29] Him and Tim and that guy we see these are working at one two
[00:46:32] Where Tim comes back and he's like all right man. Well, listen
[00:46:35] I see you're down some cats. He's about for 200
[00:46:38] You showed me all the money on here comes up. That was good
[00:46:42] They think you've slipped it to them meanwhile
[00:46:44] You've sucked yourself as dick and you're $600 in the clear. That's the short con you see
[00:46:50] It's different. It's the short one. It's a long con. You always got to figure out what the angles are
[00:46:59] Yeah, that's a game in that documentary abducted in plain sight that that rape is like raped this whole family
[00:47:08] I think the family wanted it. I think the family had some serious issues
[00:47:12] I think that's how to live in your house
[00:47:14] The amount of people first of all permanent adolescence is like a problem now across the board
[00:47:18] There's plenty of people that are just children essentially emotionally walking around and you should be able to fuck them
[00:47:26] That's a nice middle ground if you're your honor your honor. Yeah, they're only an emotional child your honor. Yeah
[00:47:40] Nick's theory in terms of right back is probably right Nick is probably right coercion
[00:47:44] But then also I think drugging is probably a go to
[00:47:48] Assumption's people have about what they would do in a situation and no one knows or how they would act
[00:47:52] I mean it's like the classic example of that is like somebody's accused of like killing their wife
[00:47:57] and then they're on the news and they're like
[00:48:00] I mean, yeah, it's like she's gone. It sucks
[00:48:02] You know, they're like, I don't know like what to say about it. Yeah, and then people are like oh look how little he gives a shit
[00:48:09] Obviously it's like well your wife wasn't murdered
[00:48:12] Or was like 9-11 when that guy taught bemurship, but we all know that there were no planes
[00:48:16] But the guy who was on the plane was like oh, let's roll like and people don't know how they're gonna react in that situation
[00:48:24] Yeah, you know people are like oh, I would yeah mark mark wallberg exactly exactly if I was on that plane
[00:48:31] I wouldn't let that guy force me to suck his dick. Yeah, I would suck
[00:48:34] I would suck mark wallberg off if he was on that plane
[00:48:37] That's how I would die with mark wallberg's cock in the back of my throat
[00:48:41] Yeah, praise Allah that would be great. I would do that next week if they said you
[00:48:48] You don't want to die with mark wallberg's cock in your mouth in a fireball
[00:48:53] Yes, you don't be a really fun movie is mark wallberg that so the terrorists they kill the uh the pilots and mark wallberg's on the plane
[00:49:00] Yeah, and he's like I'm not putting up with this
[00:49:03] I'm gonna stop these guys. Yeah, and then he goes into the cockpit and beats them up
[00:49:07] And then you know, he's like time to land the plane and still fucks up and crashes into the twin town
[00:49:15] Because he doesn't know how to fly a plane and he's too proud to let anyone else
[00:49:20] I got this there's a different pilot on one second one second
[00:49:26] Um, yeah, so how was Tom Myers good he was you know, he was a uh, he was a uh, you know, he's he's there's something off
[00:49:36] Um, he did tell me a lot about the Baltimore, Maryland comedy scene. Oh, that's great. Um, we you know his
[00:49:42] He you know, we kind of got it out of him. He's not a comedian
[00:49:46] Anymore. He's kind of just like he will know he's not really doing comedy as much. He's just working on his podcast
[00:49:52] He was going somewhere. It shouldn't be any uh, and he's managing a restaurant. Yeah. Oh, we know about the Mexican restaurant. Yeah
[00:49:59] God love them respect to him sweet man. I'd say you know, and it's like
[00:50:03] Yeah, I wish you would open for us. I just didn't want to address it, but you could take him on the road, man
[00:50:10] You just don't you don't need to do anything with Tom Myers other than point at him and let him do his thing
[00:50:16] No, yeah, he'll bury himself. There's like I don't think I don't want to bury him
[00:50:19] Yeah, I want him to forget what the thought is wrong with you. Nobody wants to bury Tom Myers
[00:50:24] I want Tom Myers to have nine different development deals
[00:50:28] You want him to be like a whackpack or so you get something out of it. You know like beetle juice
[00:50:32] I don't even want to know I don't want that. I want him to flourish genuinely like I love Tom
[00:50:37] I don't I don't love Tom. I think I'm kind of an asshole
[00:50:40] But it's like it really doesn't mean anything to me if he has all this success
[00:50:44] It's like one of the right I think he's like well the first step to that success was uh getting on guest digital
[00:50:55] Agencies were definitely listening. Yeah
[00:50:57] To the real and word was said I swear about eight times. Yeah eight n words
[00:51:04] Tom's at the n-word. Zach was on. Zach is a full force
[00:51:08] Tom's like Tom's like like Tommy Wiseau. I guess. Yeah, Tom's actually kind of like a malicious person. Yeah, I guess
[00:51:17] It's like the way uh like a cat would kill you if it was like bigger
[00:51:22] It's like but the cat has sure he's not threatening. Yeah, he's not threatening
[00:51:28] But it's like I have no interest in like yeah, there's no whack pack or sense of it
[00:51:31] I don't really want to be associated with him
[00:51:33] It's just I happen to know who Tom was and then I had and then I had an audience
[00:51:38] You gotta get a load of this guy. Absolutely. Yeah, he does it. He lacks a charm a lot of hacky long island comedians have more of a charm
[00:51:45] Yeah, this guy does not have a charm. No, no, that's I think he thinks he's really like schizophrenic or skits
[00:51:52] Something's not right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and my mother's kid's a friend. I told she's funnier like I'm not even kidding
[00:51:57] She's like much foot schizophrenics are kind of funny. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Tom
[00:52:06] Create any kind of construct of what's going on in anyone else's head. Yeah, yeah, it's or it's well
[00:52:12] Yeah, it's beyond detachment from reality. He just like fundamentally does not understand a single other human being in the entire world
[00:52:19] It's an interesting way to go. I would love to watch him. Have said that's why brought a guy
[00:52:22] And it's like honestly, that's why he only cares about politics. Dude. We he's straight
[00:52:30] Who was I guess with him his handler was it brawn bender? I do return. I did not ask
[00:52:36] Ask his name run bender. Who's a sweet man is a guy that just does like kind of like one liners
[00:52:40] Yeah, and it used to go to shows with Tom. Yeah, and
[00:52:45] Comedy's a real disease. Oh, yeah, that's really what it comes down to run bender was like, you know kind of overweight or whatever
[00:52:51] Yeah, I kind of you know, he seemed like a sweet guy
[00:52:54] I would like you know talk to him here and there and I've forgotten about him and Tom posted a picture one time
[00:53:00] Of run bender being wheeled on to stage in a wheelchair
[00:53:06] It's like I guess he's lost the ability to walk now
[00:53:11] Amongst us can blame him a fat man for needing to perform with
[00:53:16] Out the full use of his legs. I think yeah, I think that's actually it's noble very brave. Yeah, do you know?
[00:53:23] I need to eat something. I actually have food. I'm sorry. I had nothing all day
[00:53:29] I have a little snack for both of you guys. What do you have? I was at your desk. Oh, that was fucked up
[00:53:34] I thought it was wrong. You got a sandwich. You walked in. You had like a nice sandwich
[00:53:39] That excited. Oh, yeah, I thought you had a thing. That's how the grooming process works with rape, right?
[00:53:46] That's how I started. I was like hey, you want a snack boys?
[00:53:50] You want I got something for you to eat and they're like what? I'm like my dick
[00:53:54] And then they do a calculation their head. Well, this I might attack me right so I better suck his dick and I better suck it good
[00:54:00] I better suck you if not if not he might attack me after he comes. That's right. Absolutely
[00:54:05] There's nothing worse than coming partially soft. Yeah, because of an inadequate bludger
[00:54:10] I'm then you got to beat the shit out of this guy. I know that's the only way they learn
[00:54:14] But uh somebody posted a picture of like uh, you know looking at geo thing with yeah tribal people
[00:54:20] Yeah, and you know, the titties are out
[00:54:21] But one of them is in albino so they're regular white titties and it's like I don't think you should be publishing that
[00:54:26] What just you know the other ones are fine
[00:54:32] Yeah, but I don't think a white woman's brass should just be out there. Just published you find it wrong
[00:54:38] You know why one of the private she have black features though. Well, I'm not looking at her face
[00:54:46] I'm gonna go on record and say it's fine. Little better. She's black facial
[00:54:51] I'd feel a little bit better. I'm gonna take the posing view
[00:54:55] I understand she's actually from an african tribe, right and she probably speaks and clicks and whistles
[00:55:02] I am looking at it african a white woman's pair of breasts and I feel like I will say even from net even from here
[00:55:09] It's she has a black face. She does and I am that is
[00:55:16] I the only thing and would it make you better?
[00:55:18] Worse is that they're small and kind of perky. They're not great. Which is defying her race even more interesting now
[00:55:25] Would you feel better if she she's a flat-ass to would you feel better if she was wearing black traditional black face
[00:55:34] No, that would be racist that that would be okay. That would be wrong. Okay. Welcome back to instagram
[00:55:40] Oh, yeah, um, is it look at the next thing I scroll down to right after I say that what is it?
[00:55:47] I'm not gonna tell you but it's a white bitch. Yes. Yes. Well, I mean, it's just ironic. It's
[00:55:56] That's the next thing under it. It's just some white hoe
[00:55:59] Um with juicy titties the sonic jumbo yum is what's up? It's the sonic movie everybody's talking about. Oh, yeah
[00:56:06] You can't get enough of it. It's kind of a wasted bit at the live show, but we were yeah
[00:56:10] There it was complaining about Jim Carrey is dr. Robotnik and we thought maybe
[00:56:15] Philip Seymour Hoffman would be better. No, you definitely definitely would be better. We riff that one out. Yeah, it's fun
[00:56:21] Yeah, Philip Seymour. Why don't you give people a couple choice lines? Hmm. It's just I can't even you can't know
[00:56:27] I can't remember the music something about his nose. Yeah. I just I'm fucking love you. Sonic, right?
[00:56:32] Yeah, that's good. Hey, jice, I'm Bob sonic by the Camaro
[00:56:36] All the time all the time man. I'm a fucker the chaos emeralds
[00:56:43] Was taken like I think it was the 40-oxy continent. Yeah, 38-oxy congress. Yeah. Yeah. God. What a fucking dude
[00:56:52] That's fucking jealous. Just so you got to watch that that interview with Don Siegel and or Don Simpson and Jerry brocon
[00:56:59] Yeah, I want I'm gonna watch it. That like Don Simpson is just so funny
[00:57:04] He's just such a funny guy. I wish there was more content of him being interviewed and asked about
[00:57:08] Yeah, he should have been on camera shouldn't have been behind the scenes. Yeah. Well, he moved to LA to be an actor
[00:57:13] Oh, is that why? Yeah, and then he got a job at paramount and worked his way up to being VP of production
[00:57:22] Well, he was a VP of production and paramount and then he left to be partners with uh, bruccheimer
[00:57:28] Yeah, and then you know, they did fucking top gun top gun days of thunder
[00:57:34] Trying to think of the other actually they they very well may have raped tom crews
[00:57:40] Um, maybe yeah, but the way the way the way they talk it really
[00:57:47] Doesn't seem like they know why that's bad. Right, right? And you know, it excuses it at a certain point
[00:57:53] He's like he's like they'll sit there and they'll both like go back and forth and bruccheimer can't control his face
[00:57:58] He keeps like he'll say things and then just like and with this like weird smile
[00:58:03] You know, like and he doesn't know where the smile should be going. Yeah, and uh, like they go back and forth
[00:58:08] And it I could totally see them being like it's not that we raped tom so much. It's that we both love actors
[00:58:14] We love acting. We love the process of of acting and we really try to surround ourselves
[00:58:19] With people that I wouldn't say vulnerable per se although the argument could be made. It's that
[00:58:25] That they express a sort of willingness to be malleable to form themselves in any way shape or form
[00:58:32] They can become anything even of a jina and that's the sort of
[00:58:36] The mentality that we go into when we make pictures and we love making pictures
[00:58:40] And that's why we do this and it's like they're just like in just they're just both fucking insane
[00:58:44] Yeah, you know, but that's that's that's who you need. Yeah, you need people like that
[00:58:51] They don't know. Yeah, if they're raping people or if this is part of the process
[00:58:55] That's how me too is reading molly wood so true Adam. They're kicking all those they're kicking the true
[00:59:04] Adam's being ironic now, but what he's it's gonna be all lesbians what Adam saying has some real
[00:59:10] Or lesbians and what Adam's trying to do of course is be this ironic, you know, then lesbians don't know
[00:59:16] Communist but the reality is there's one kicking out a lot of fucking characters
[00:59:21] Let's just call them what they are. They're the characters. They're wacky kooky guys. They're kooky wacky characters
[00:59:27] You know, yeah, they they tried to go to the cops on one string a bunch of times and then they said oh, what did he do?
[00:59:33] He just ate my pussy and they're like, yeah, that's not the cops were like well. You're a lucky woman. I think Sarah home
[00:59:40] They're like we love what you we love pulp fiction. Mr. Wine. Yeah, then they came and they ate a pussy
[00:59:48] That's wild. Yeah, no, it's crazy because it's like you're probably right
[00:59:51] I mean it seems and probably because even in that interview harvey wine scene comes up
[00:59:56] And it's so funny too because charlie rose is the other guy at the table. Oh, yeah, so it's jerry brachheimer johnson
[01:00:01] Round 10 and then charlie rose because it's a stinglish rapy
[01:00:06] You know, uh, hobby wonstein told me that you know bla bla bla bla and then don simpson goes
[01:00:11] Well, he's a very smart man. You know that man is has a high degree of intelligence in a way that I think many people can't really
[01:00:19] Perce you know, he's like just always like everything
[01:00:22] He just has to like add these little like stingers every sentence and then he's always doing this weird shit with his eyes
[01:00:27] Yeah, and then he'll like say something and then you know, he's just fidget. He's just sitting there just going
[01:00:32] He's just like such a coke guy. So it's good to see somebody coked out or drugged up at the top of their game
[01:00:37] Yeah, right. He's just he's sweating and he's like you hand and he's been in that mode like it's fucking
[01:00:42] It's like you know that guy was just going from like 1970 until the minute is fucking hard explode
[01:00:48] Yeah, you know, he's like great. I'm gonna you know what hold that thought I'm gonna get on the phone with him right now Bob
[01:00:53] It's Don I got good news. Let's talk and that just never she just keeps winning too
[01:00:59] It just it just no like sense of like I'm never gonna lose like I'm on top of the world
[01:01:04] Yeah, cuz they had days of thunder was kind of a flop
[01:01:09] It just didn't do as well as they thought it was going to and then they had like a five-picture deal with I
[01:01:14] Think paramount actually in 1990 it was like a three hundred million dollar five-picture deal
[01:01:19] And then the first one that they made was like like failure, you know and
[01:01:26] After that like they had like mutual like an argument. Maybe it was days of thunder
[01:01:31] I can't remember what the first one was but they had a falling out and then like the studio blamed them for over
[01:01:38] Spending they blamed the studio for rushing the production schedule and then it was like let's just part ways
[01:01:43] And then they went over to Disney and that's where they you know had like the last string of hits
[01:01:47] which was bad boys bad boys and crimson tide and
[01:01:54] I don't like having trouble remembering, you know what the third bro cower did the pirates movies, but don Simpson was probably he died in
[01:02:00] 1996 yeah, yeah, he died before this fucking the rock the rock the rock was the last movie they did together
[01:02:06] That's a bigger they were having to bang out
[01:02:09] At the time like that was like that was going to be the last movie they did together
[01:02:12] And then that was a crazy time to be a guy like that. Yeah guy like that now has to be a lot more cautious
[01:02:18] Then a guy like that would have had to be in the night. Yeah, you have like crazy 90s was just I mean
[01:02:25] Yeah, you know like I we've talked about it before but it's like it's funny because Hollywood only
[01:02:31] Understands like the superficial right um there's like been very brief periods where?
[01:02:37] Hollywood at large really has any kind of like substance to it sure and I think like
[01:02:44] You know you like you have to like go in understanding that all boomers are narcissists
[01:02:48] They're at the time probably the first narcissistic generation like yeah, you know as a whole
[01:03:00] 1950s with like the countercultural movement or whatever all of these like Eastern
[01:03:04] ideas Eastern like philosophies yeah stuff imported into the
[01:03:10] Sort of done it in like a like a like a it happened in like a bastardized way. Yeah, it was a little bit me
[01:03:15] It's all about me rather than like my journey the dissolution of self or whatever
[01:03:20] No, it's all this build that up. Yeah, build it up and hyper focus on it and then elevate yourself to the level of like a fucking God
[01:03:26] So the transcendence becomes you yourself is transcended rather than like and those movies like the lessons heroes
[01:03:33] Those movies about like Hollywood even in like in the 80s and the 90s are some of the best movies because it's like every character is that
[01:03:40] Well, it's yeah, it grows it grows out of like again
[01:03:44] Like boomers experiencing that countercultural revolution
[01:03:47] But then not integrating it the proper way and thinking that free love means debauchery doing whatever the fuck you want right
[01:03:54] Like boundless like to the extent that everyone gets AIDS
[01:03:57] We're all just gonna fuck as much as we want
[01:03:59] We're gonna fuck as much as I want right and like a lot of that is reflected in like, you know
[01:04:04] Yeah, yeah in what Hollywood was doing in 1980s including their actions
[01:04:08] I mean like I've said before I think like partially some of that is kind of what set the stage for
[01:04:14] What really became a huge problem with pedophilia and Hollywood in the 80s is that they're like of course we can fuck kids
[01:04:20] Why can't we you know there was like a he didn't yeah, it's like yes exactly
[01:04:24] It's just this this unbridled hedonism that's supported by you know, yeah the intersection of just people being entirely self-interested and also
[01:04:32] Misunderstanding like their own free law and also it being like an artistic
[01:04:38] Field right like that they're making movies that they're making art
[01:04:41] It's just like one pedophile getting a pang of like conscience and another guy just looking at him and going like we're in an artistic field
[01:04:50] I don't know why what's really what's really telling that mentality is you you read the description of like and it's all just tabloid stuff and blind items
[01:04:59] but the description of Charlie Sheen raping Corey Haine is and
[01:05:05] The way he describes it is he convinced him and he's like this is just what guys do like actors do this with each other
[01:05:10] Yeah, you know Charlie Sheen was like 19 at the time and it's like what we're gonna hand was how old I don't know 13
[01:05:16] So but you know Charlie Sheen probably got turned out. Yeah, and then it's like well
[01:05:20] My theory always was that Martin Sheen who like came over from the Catholic Church in the Hollywood probably brought that all over in from the church
[01:05:28] She was patient zero. I'm going crazy. Yeah
[01:05:33] I think this is real good cadence of how you said that is like I want to have some
[01:05:38] People that come to laugh boss and I want to have something to talk to about after the show
[01:05:42] Martin Sheen fucked Charlie Sheen into being a pedophile with a well
[01:05:49] Yeah, he didn't get fucked. He didn't want to be part of that
[01:05:51] Emilio is hot. I would have rather fucked it maybe not. I don't know this is all what I legitimately believe
[01:05:58] These are all my personal something with the Sheen family. Yeah off. No, they're weird dude
[01:06:03] Yeah, watch Badlands and watch how much Martin Sheen enjoys you want that open secret thing and all that all that stuff
[01:06:09] Why is it why is it that Martin Sheen is not convincing in any other role except that one or
[01:06:14] West Wing where he plays an elite Jedi of Bartlett. Yeah, where he plays a democratic elite that rapes children, you know
[01:06:23] Interesting, you know, it's not confirmation bias
[01:06:27] It's not me thinking these things and then watching those two movies specifically being like I knew
[01:06:31] I think you said I think you're a sober minded rational guy
[01:06:35] Especially about this issue and Holly well, I don't think you're coming to it
[01:06:43] It's because I look at Don Simpson and his mannerisms and see how like fucked up he is and I'm like oh, that's basically me
[01:06:49] Yeah, I'm just not raping people right and it's right and it's billi there. Yeah
[01:06:55] And yeah, it's nice. Yeah, I don't know. It's kind of endearing. I've just enjoyed with you that you got to watch that video
[01:07:01] I watch he just he's so sweaty and greasy and his fucking he's got this tiny little ponytail and this
[01:07:06] Oh, he's exactly what 1990. I love he would is. Oh, yeah, he probably drove a little Porsche
[01:07:11] Yeah, big house the hills. Yeah, always fuck big cell phone. Yeah coked out of his face. Yeah, great
[01:07:18] We love making pictures. We love making pictures. That was a great
[01:07:23] There's actually one scene because you watch real masters
[01:07:26] This is what he says you guys you watch real masters guys like guys like Washington and Hackman work with each other and the thing is his
[01:07:32] Actors will watch the director and they get a sense of like he's gonna want 10. He's gonna want six
[01:07:37] He's gonna want three some directors will get in they'll do three takes so the actor will save their best for the third
[01:07:42] But Jean and Denzel they know Tony and they know Tony likes just about six so you can see them holding on waiting
[01:07:48] And they say six boom. This is it. This is the one we're gonna do and that's where they bring it and really comes out
[01:07:54] And you know the respect for each other the mutual respect you can really tell in the moment
[01:07:57] You don't know if you have a good picture, but you can tell in the moment that the picture is working for you
[01:08:01] You know and it's just like wow just going off. He's got some beautiful, but a guy that's so into it. Yeah
[01:08:06] Yeah, no, I mean, he loves he loves making movies. Yeah, if it was like, you know
[01:08:11] Not if it was just was something other than movies and maybe like yeah doing brain surgery on
[01:08:18] Coming hands to work exactly then he would be a good guy
[01:08:22] I mean it's but you can't confuse like just like these pedophiles talking about things like that
[01:08:26] Just like when you kill me kid holds his hand for the first time you know the strength of that hand
[01:08:30] You know that the really don't know if it's working for you. You don't know if it's gonna be a good fuck
[01:08:33] You don't know if it's a good picture or not, but you do know you have chemistry there
[01:08:37] Yeah, you know and he's like there was one there, you know, there's a moment there cameras aren't rolling
[01:08:42] The scene cuts and it Denzel says man this man
[01:08:45] That man knows how to act and Hackman looks at me goes just like you and it was a moment
[01:08:50] You could have scripted it. It seems like it came out of the movie and it's like just no you were on massive amounts of cocaine
[01:08:55] They did not even just a casual interaction between two people you turned into some significant moment of yeah
[01:09:03] What a great life. Yeah sitting there in the director's chair coked out of your skull. Yeah watching things
[01:09:09] And then not directing as a producer not even direct
[01:09:12] He says sitting there watching monitors going this is fucking great. Yeah, we're having shrimping his mouth
[01:09:18] And not tasting it because his mouth is numb. Yeah
[01:09:25] Well, you know what to be I say you think that because you know outside of the entertainment industry
[01:09:30] You're like who are all these fucking people and then you get on a film set and you're like oh everyone's absolutely essential
[01:09:36] Yeah, but the job is to just you make sure
[01:09:38] There's different kinds of produce there's a lot of different kinds of producers
[01:09:42] So what what an executive producers like a money guy
[01:10:02] Do scouting locations those are all producers yeah, or maybe that's the locations guy who produced my pilot Anthony Bourdain was very essential
[01:10:14] So that was a real problem for us going forward is that the producer was found in a bathroom
[01:10:19] 48 hours after we signed a deal and then we were at me and Nick were laughed with the people who didn't call themselves
[01:10:26] Yeah, yeah for a moment. I'm not gonna say the guy's name, but that direct
[01:10:31] Yeah, that was not it was not great. Yeah, but so sometimes you do want them at least alive
[01:10:38] Yeah, you're right, you know, it was so it was so hard to sit in that room
[01:10:42] me and Nick were like we were just asking questions like like normal questions and normal things and the guy was asking like we were
[01:10:52] Like a hundred million dollar budget like we were like why did you do like a drone?
[01:10:56] Shazer any like drone for like I said well I would have set up a drone like cuz with the it's about a tour bus
[01:11:00] Like you just get any guy's like that would have taken like the whole day like do any of these clips have sound right?
[01:11:15] And the nitty goes fucking nailed it because these guys all traveled around the world of Bourdain
[01:11:19] Yeah, Nick said something where he's like yeah
[01:11:21] These people all think having dessert is a subversive act and literally right after Nick said that this fucking idiot walk in
[01:11:28] We were in goal it during the Civil War and it's like and I looked at him I go to what having soup who gives a fuck
[01:11:38] And then you know everything he said was first of all he spends the entire time sitting there trying to find new ways to cross his legs
[01:11:44] Right, right just try to prove he didn't have a car. Yeah
[01:11:48] That's all that was the whole day how I am how hard can he twist his legs like a fucking twizzler to show you how comfortable he is
[01:11:56] And Nick would pitch things are amazing that they were really great and this everything Nick would say this guy would give some version of like it's gonna be too much
[01:12:03] It's gonna be too difficult, you know, I mean where is that?
[01:12:07] Well, I guess we could talk off Mike. Well, I mean it's a word. They're gonna
[01:12:10] They've a bunch of daily show editors have recut it. It is now a nightmare horror
[01:12:20] Something so but like the only stories about pilots is shit are all true like you'll look at something
[01:12:25] You're like I didn't even know you could do that with this you want to talk about producing and it's like a project like that is where
[01:12:31] Like it's absolutely essential that you have at least one guy who is like a fucking master
[01:12:37] Or or you know preferably a couple of them that can be in your ear while you go shoot it
[01:12:43] Yeah, making sure that like you're so as much comedy as possible from like the event dude
[01:12:49] You don't go out there with like a guy who directed like, you know, we're going to fucking Vietnam to try cheese made out of piss
[01:12:59] It was robbing and we also shot it on a day when it was 98 degrees
[01:13:04] And that's just not the move for that particular shit
[01:13:06] We should have just pushed it back two weeks with and it's a shame because there's a lot of like really funny shit in that
[01:13:12] Well comedy central now loves the version that I do not like oh really this they're like we kind of like it
[01:13:18] Uh-huh and because comedy central essentially the pitch for the show was like it's really no more like I'm just a tort the end of
[01:13:24] Yeah, is there any way to just lean into that get them to have a go to series?
[01:13:27] Well, yeah, I'm trying fixing 101. Yeah, I'm listen. I'm a hundred percent. Yeah trying to I would love the opportunity
[01:13:37] It's the greatest feeling in the world and I tell you when I watch some of my favorite comedians really global masters
[01:13:43] It reminds me exactly of why I got into this
[01:13:46] Yeah, I love I love Don Simpson. Well, see I wish we had Don Simpson. Yeah on this
[01:13:51] Here's the thing Don if Don Simpson, but I wish I
[01:13:56] Anything if I could have like worked with that guy. Yeah despite knowing that he's probably responsible for
[01:14:03] However bad you think Harvey Weinstein is I'm sure you this guy was like just off the charts
[01:14:09] But I would have loved to look at that man and have him say great fucking job
[01:14:14] That would have been great that would be the greatest feeling in the world if a guy like Don Simpson told you you were good at your job
[01:14:20] You would just fucking you just get in that car. You just want a father figure you respect
[01:14:27] It's that like he's just like an enthusiastic guy that loves to be pleased and he knows what works for him
[01:14:32] So if you can make a guy like that be like fuck. Yeah, I mean, you know, you know, there's certain people you like
[01:14:38] Certain people you like to please. Yeah, like in a in a bit of work situation, right? And he's like that guy. Yeah
[01:14:44] I poor Dane would have been a nice guy to please, but he decided to hang himself
[01:14:56] Well, well folks, we're gonna wrap this up
[01:14:59] But real quick before we do we want to make sure you know to come see us in Canada. Yeah, that's right
[01:15:04] We'll be up north of the border in June
[01:15:12] 623 Vancouver and then 625 Edmonton. That's right. So get go to come town dot events
[01:15:23] All the tickets are up buy those fucking ships. We did with look
[01:15:27] Is this a little last minute to do a fucking national tour of a
[01:15:32] Smaller nation over the we don't live in yes, but please just buy the tickets anyway
[01:15:38] Just buy them so that we could get a bunch of cocaine and we could be done
[01:15:42] We could be the next Don Simpson and also just we want to clarify that it's like you're it's two shows in one
[01:15:47] So you're getting an hour and a half of stand up and then you're getting an hour and a half
[01:15:54] Normally we do two shows, but this is gonna be one ticket for both shows a mega show. It's a mega show
[01:16:00] It's a mega show, but can't it make sense
[01:16:03] Yeah, Canadian money sucks and it's also two show dollars are like it's a good deal
[01:16:09] So stop complaining on my fucking Instagram comments
[01:16:15] Thank you. We'll see him in Boston this weekend. Goodbye everyone. No