[00:00:00] Start up the podcast. I never had six. Oh, I've never had six.

[00:00:08] Oh, I've never had six. Oh, never had six. Start it up. It's

[00:00:14] a it's going pump. Welcome to come to welcome to come to an

[00:00:19] episode of who whatever who cares. We're here. I just had a

[00:00:24] kind bar before the episode this time. You to get charged up

[00:00:29] to go super saying. Kind bar some kind bud. We got kind

[00:00:33] bud flowing. We got fucking four loco before they changed the

[00:00:38] formula. I got a bunch of it saved in a fucking in a cell

[00:00:42] job. I told you all about my friend Tristan, right, who

[00:00:45] bought crates and crates of four loco when he found out that

[00:00:49] they're making a legal he went to Virginia just got pallets

[00:00:53] he went to Costco. He ran out of all that drank drank through

[00:00:57] all of that. And then he would buy the decafinated four locos.

[00:01:02] And then he'd buy five hour energy, take a couple sips poured

[00:01:06] in the decafinated four loco respect and then a couple weeks

[00:01:09] later his lung collapsed. And then I saw him like a few days

[00:01:13] after the collapse lung. And I'm like, he was at a party. I'm

[00:01:16] like, Kristin, are you okay? He's like, I'm good. I'm just like

[00:01:19] rolling a little bit tonight. But he was it. Yeah, he loved a

[00:01:24] party. He loves a party. Shout out to that guy. He lives in

[00:01:28] Seattle and he's got a good job somewhere. Nice. You ever had

[00:01:32] that four loco while you were drunk? Yeah. Did you enjoy it?

[00:01:36] Did you enjoy the first time I like blacked out hard was all

[00:01:39] four loco. Oh, yeah. Because I had nights where it was like kind

[00:01:42] of hazy. And then but you know, I'd be like, man, I blacked out

[00:01:45] the other night. And it's like, I know that just means I don't

[00:01:47] remember. And then the first time I had four loco was just

[00:01:50] hours gone. It was like daytime is lasting. I think one of them

[00:01:55] is equivalent of a bottle of wine. Yeah. And I was like, uh,

[00:01:59] I have like two. It's like, I guess it's six a.m. And I'm

[00:02:04] like waking up underneath the Bowflex. So that's not the time

[00:02:09] you woke up having sex with a woman. No, and that didn't

[00:02:12] really wake up. Yeah, I was at like a Halloween party and I

[00:02:16] got to an argument with some lady. And then I've been

[00:02:20] there. Then my that's like a hazy thing where it's like, I

[00:02:23] don't really remember what happened. And then we're in the

[00:02:25] kitchen and like, you know, we're doing shots. What you were

[00:02:27] arguing with? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I insulted her friend

[00:02:30] months prior. And then she decided to confront me at that

[00:02:35] Halloween party outside. Nice. And I was like, look, I don't

[00:02:38] care. She was being a bitch. And then you were like, here's a

[00:02:43] rebuttal. Here's a fucking rhetorical rebuttal for you,

[00:02:46] bitch. Four and a half semi hard inches. Right. Well, no, I

[00:02:53] wait, it was like, because I then I remember doing shots

[00:02:56] James in the kitchen and I remember everything. And then I

[00:02:58] just remember being in the bathroom. And like her pussy

[00:03:02] was like 40. So her pussy was like, I couldn't get my dick

[00:03:06] and her pussy. Yeah. And she's like, just jamming. Like, I

[00:03:11] gotta get out of here. What do you mean, you? What do you mean

[00:03:13] you couldn't get it in? It's just like, well, I mean, it was

[00:03:15] like not right. It wasn't wet enough. Don't they say that's a

[00:03:18] woman's sexual primes when she's 40? Yeah, that's some bullshit

[00:03:23] that's abroad say, right? No, I think that's real. I think

[00:03:27] that we're in our sexual prime at 18 and women at 40. Yeah. I

[00:03:32] bet that's real. Is that real? I don't know. I think that's a

[00:03:35] thing that Jewish men say to each other in their like little

[00:03:38] horny conversations they have when we fuck 40 year olds. Should

[00:03:42] I be the other way around girls? No, they say that women are in

[00:03:46] their prime at 40. No, it would be the other way around. You

[00:03:51] know what I'm talking about, right? They say that men are at

[00:03:54] their sexual peaks is 65 and women at 14. I did fuck 40 year

[00:04:00] old when I first moved here. I was I guess 26 and she did have a

[00:04:05] remarkably wet pussy. That fault that goes to Adam's

[00:04:10] argument. Yeah, I mean, I've just heard that. I don't know if

[00:04:13] that's a real thing. She squirted all over her IKEA cow. She

[00:04:17] was a squirter. Yes. And she wouldn't suck dick. She wouldn't

[00:04:22] suck dick. No, that makes sense to me. I was young. I had to pay

[00:04:25] my dues. No, I think that like sucking dick is probably more

[00:04:30] intimate than having sex with someone getting your pussy

[00:04:32] eating. You're just like at the union. They're like, yeah, those

[00:04:36] don't count as dues. I don't think you understand what dues are.

[00:04:41] Well, come on, folks, I've been eating pussy for years. No

[00:04:45] reciprocation whatsoever. You put your time before me yet. I get

[00:04:50] some debate vacation. Mm hmm. But yeah, we were supposed to go

[00:04:55] see Captain America. Mm hmm. And then we just had sushi and

[00:04:59] about top. It was on like a date. You went on an organized date

[00:05:03] with the four year old America. Yes. But I did we didn't

[00:05:06] have to see the movie. She just wanted this little hog too bad.

[00:05:10] Oh, she was a chubby chaser. I guess so. You said

[00:05:13] top to America. Yeah, it's all right. Sorry. That's fine. We're

[00:05:16] gonna go down that road. But I would have liked to. Top to

[00:05:19] America. No, no, I still want to. No, top to the American. So he

[00:05:22] was frozen. He's frozen before anyone was allowed to be gay.

[00:05:26] He was a nerd that didn't know how to suck dick and then they

[00:05:28] give him drugs to make him really good. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And

[00:05:32] then he got frozen brought to the future. They go to World War

[00:05:36] two. And then he's just like sucking all the blowing all the

[00:05:40] not sure man sucking up her stick. Yeah. And then the Russian

[00:05:43] sacrifice 22 million people to win the war. And then the

[00:05:47] Americans are like, we did it. Yeah. That's really good. I like

[00:05:53] that one. Yeah, shout out to Stalin though for real. Why

[00:05:57] throwing peasants at just throwing bodies at the German war

[00:06:02] machine. The Russians had the same kind of body count as your

[00:06:06] bitch. Everyone that's true. That's true. Everyone listening

[00:06:13] home your girl fucked as many guys as the Hitler killed or

[00:06:18] whatever. The Russians. You know the fuck I'm saying I got it.

[00:06:24] Now, okay, let's go let's talk Kremlin. Let's talk about

[00:06:29] another Holocaust, but it's for Hispanic people. Okay,

[00:06:34] they get sent into the showers and they're crying and screaming

[00:06:37] because of the regular showers. Oh, how about that? Yeah. Yeah.

[00:06:42] Has anyone done that one yet? Or I don't think it's been done.

[00:06:45] Okay, I think that's new. That's new territory. Sure. I feel

[00:06:50] like I may have said that in seventh grade. Yeah, probably.

[00:06:55] Probably so. Now, what's up with that that colorful ass palace

[00:06:58] they got. So that's not the Kremlin. That's not St. Basil's

[00:07:02] that St Basil Basil's Cathedral. But everyone thinks that's the

[00:07:06] Kremlin. But the Kremlin is that's just like they're no, it's

[00:07:10] like a square. That's why they hate LGBT rights in Russia is

[00:07:13] because the gays used to run everything. Yeah, that was their

[00:07:17] castle. They had a gay castle. And they would go around forcing

[00:07:22] everyone to have gay sex. So interesting. When the you know,

[00:07:26] revolution happened, of course, which one of which

[00:07:29] was 1917.

[00:07:32] Bull toll. That's the bullsey. That's when they wetted up

[00:07:36] the all those fucking Al Anastasia and her fucking dead. Yeah,

[00:07:40] they they fucked. They took the Tommy.

[00:07:45] They were like coins and shit. So they got really fucked up.

[00:07:50] The what? We're in jewelry or some shit. Who? The station

[00:07:53] her brother and her dad. Wait, is this are you referencing a

[00:07:58] thing or are you doing a bit thing real life? I just don't

[00:08:01] remember their names. So I'm calling the Romanov. Yes, the

[00:08:04] Romanovs. They were wearing jewelry. Yeah, because they were

[00:08:08] rich. And they were sneaking the jewelry. I just saw something

[00:08:10] on Twitter, I think. Okay. Or Facebook even sometimes I'm going

[00:08:15] to that sounds like a Facebook one. Yeah. I'm not saying

[00:08:19] Twitter is too reliable. But Facebook, that's where you learn

[00:08:22] the real truth. So yeah, they just took a machine gun and

[00:08:25] just really fucked up a whole family.

[00:08:29] The workers who gets to live in Saint Basil's Basilica, Peter

[00:08:33] Pan. And all his boys. The Russian version of Peter Pan. Damn,

[00:08:40] if there's ever been a pedophile story, that's it.

[00:08:44] It to be a boy forever. Yeah, I started I put on Tuggsy or

[00:08:48] damn it. Bugsy Malone. Yeah, I kept saying I kept calling myself

[00:08:53] Tuggsy Malone. That's good. Name's Tuggsy Malone. I'm not

[00:08:57] it's like a boy that can't check off yet. No, it's in the

[00:09:00] movie. There's like, they got machine guns that shoot pies. So

[00:09:04] and my version of Bugsy Malone, it's Tuggsy Malone. And they're

[00:09:07] all they instead of machine guns are like, like light them up

[00:09:11] boys. Then they just beat off on them. 13 year old boys love

[00:09:14] beating off. And I feel like every stroke is a little piece of

[00:09:17] comedy. Yeah, the

[00:09:20] yeah, Roxy Rachsberg got fucking knotted up on 15th

[00:09:25] stream. Roxy could fix everything except, you know, his

[00:09:29] face. What's Muggsy Malone?

[00:09:34] That could be yours. Muggsy below. Yeah, it's a big yeah, Muggsy

[00:09:38] Malone is your version of the movie. What is the movie? Oh, it's

[00:09:44] probably the movie where from the mask that they do that Tommy

[00:09:48] gun that he stole it from? What? In the movies mask, he's like

[00:09:52] a Tommy gun. And he's like, no, that's probably from some James

[00:09:56] Cagney shit. Yeah, yeah. Like a 20s gangster movie, but it was

[00:10:02] all kids. They made in the 70s. It's all like children and it's a

[00:10:06] musical. It was like one of my favorite movies when I was a kid.

[00:10:09] Sounds pretty gay, honest. I mean, it's extremely gay. It's

[00:10:11] really good. You know, the guy who probably like wrote it. Yeah,

[00:10:16] was like trying to get some face, you know, like in 1981,

[00:10:20] they're like, well, the test results are back and it's like,

[00:10:23] you don't even have blood. It's just the AIDS virus. I don't even

[00:10:28] understand how you're alive right now. It's a concentrated

[00:10:32] version of the HIV virus. It's not a single detectable blood

[00:10:39] cell or plasma even. It's just it's almost like you've cooked it

[00:10:44] down into syrup.

[00:10:47] Just that a reduction of needs reduction salts. No, I mean,

[00:10:51] I will turn the lights off. You can see how your veins are

[00:10:53] glowing. That's

[00:10:56] Yeah, this cat's pressed on me, dude. I love killing the

[00:10:59] fuck me. Yeah, it's only like skies. That's why it doesn't like

[00:11:03] Adam. What are you talking about the cat loves me, but respects

[00:11:06] me and knows that I valor cheese. No, it doesn't. You've got

[00:11:09] allergies, you're allergic to gals. What happened?

[00:11:14] respects. The cat does not respect you, Adam. That's okay.

[00:11:18] Sorry about that. I'm sorry. Yeah, you better be sorry. Adam

[00:11:23] pulled his cock out and everyone started throwing off. And so we

[00:11:27] had to get there. Yeah, it was like the end of acement to her.

[00:11:35] Yeah, dude. I said it before, but I would think Orion horn

[00:11:39] whichever one if she tucked it. She looked good. Dude, I don't

[00:11:42] give a fuck. She was fine as hell. She really was also what did

[00:11:46] they put in that actresses panties? Shit. I thought she

[00:11:50] shit herself. That's exactly what I thought. Yeah, I didn't get

[00:11:53] that. You could little she was tucking her dick and balls. Yeah,

[00:11:57] they put a fake dick and balls. I guess they did. They put a

[00:12:02] Dan Marino's actual dick and balls in her panties. Wow. And I

[00:12:07] don't remember anything from a sweatshirt. Oh, come on, you

[00:12:11] don't remember where he makes his ass talk. So there's a famous

[00:12:14] dumb and dumber. There's a face famous dolphin that gets

[00:12:18] kidnapped. Right? Just the Miami dolphins mask. It's the

[00:12:21] Miami dolphins mask up. There's no real dolphin. Yeah,

[00:12:26] mascot. And then and then the only thing I remember from the

[00:12:30] second one is Bumblebee tuna. And I feel like I watched a

[00:12:33] svenshura probably 900 times. Yeah, I don't remember where he

[00:12:37] is in the rhino. The electronic or the the robot rhino

[00:12:42] monster truck from the second one to the monster truck was

[00:12:45] tight. I love monsters. I remember that. I remember you

[00:12:49] drove a monster talk. Yeah, I mean, that's a classic. I

[00:12:53] thought that was dumb and dumber. But it's that's the

[00:12:55] scenery is entertaining people at the party by lighting as far

[00:12:58] it's on fire. It's just fantasizing about being in some

[00:13:01] socialite aspen party. And he's just doing his A plus. Yeah,

[00:13:07] yeah, yeah, just crushing.

[00:13:10] Like you are someone and everyone just clapping. I actually

[00:13:14] read the script for dumb and dumber because like I did like

[00:13:19] I you know, there's that diarrhea scene that's pretty long.

[00:13:22] And I'm like, what does that look like on paper? Right? What

[00:13:24] is it? The script's very funny. Yeah, believe it. That

[00:13:28] movie's great. Did you read it at your boyfriend's house?

[00:13:31] No. Yeah, right. Unless it's his address is 123 stops

[00:13:39] girlfriend Avenue. What story in New York? That's Riley.

[00:13:49] That's my address. No, you're boyfriend. No, you're

[00:13:51] girlfriend. Your girlfriend is your girlfriend. That's my

[00:13:54] address. It's not you. I live on that. You get your mail

[00:13:56] forward. Wow. No, no, no, no, no, no, but I live there. This

[00:14:00] is this is what's going on. Nick thinks that he's having sex

[00:14:04] with your girlfriend. But he's like, really, you're tricking

[00:14:06] him into thinking that you are your own girlfriend. Right.

[00:14:10] Maybe by wearing some sort of drag or a wig. Yeah. And then

[00:14:13] so you're owning him by having a homosexual. No, it seems

[00:14:17] like a pretty involved gay fantasy in your head, Adam. No,

[00:14:20] I'm just driving what you guys were saying. Yeah, yeah.

[00:14:23] Just driving surface level joke about people living on

[00:14:27] streets. Listen, I was just reading this is turned into a

[00:14:29] thing where I'm not turning anything.

[00:14:31] All costumes involved and different types of gay sex. Hold on. You're completely hard.

[00:14:37] Yeah, I'm not hard.

[00:14:38] cock is in in congruent. I'm actually sitting across like a

[00:14:43] egg. Backing up here. I backstop up on this. Yeah, hold on. And the

[00:14:47] only reason we even know it's nice to see you guys supporting

[00:14:50] each other. The only reason we even know this is we're both

[00:14:52] holding microscopes. Mm hmm. And looking at your heart. Yeah, I

[00:14:55] have an electron telescope. Otherwise, there'd be no way to

[00:14:57] know you were hard. A lot of people don't know this, but I

[00:14:59] actually stood too close to a microwave once and I can see

[00:15:03] with electrons. Whoa. So I can see very small things only. I

[00:15:09] don't know where I am right now, but I can see Adam's dick and I

[00:15:11] know it's hard. The only thing. It's functionally blind.

[00:15:17] You can only see things at the at the quantum level. I don't know

[00:15:20] where I am. What's up? subatomic quantum level.

[00:15:24] Yeah, that's true. Whereas I am just just have a microscope.

[00:15:35] I remember that being that being something that happened on

[00:15:38] the show Sentinel. I don't remember. You ever watch that

[00:15:41] show? That was one of those UPN shows. Yeah. Yeah. I just

[00:15:45] remember sentinels were the bad guys on X-Men. Oh, yeah.

[00:15:48] There's like apocalypse is robots. And I was mad. Actually,

[00:15:51] remember, they're they're they're they're they're robots. I

[00:15:54] think make me wait. No, it's the government shit, right? The

[00:15:57] sentinels were like, I don't know. I have no idea. I just

[00:16:02] remember I'm being mad. It wasn't an X-Men spinoff Sentinel.

[00:16:06] Oh, really? On UPN? Yeah. I remember there was an episode

[00:16:10] where Jerry Ryan guest starred. Hell yeah. And I was so

[00:16:13] horny for that episode. Of course, dude. I couldn't wait.

[00:16:16] Did you jack off to it? No, there's not really much to jack

[00:16:19] off to. But you I mean, the world there was like, like,

[00:16:21] you already see your tits out on Voyager. But like, on that

[00:16:24] when you get to see your pussy or pussy. Yeah. Wow. They

[00:16:30] showed her pussy. UPN. They showed her vagina. Nice. Which

[00:16:35] I've seen them before. Yeah. Mm hmm. I have to. I'm familiar

[00:16:40] with with a girl's pussy. What's your favorite part? The

[00:16:47] whole the whole for sure. The puzzle. Yeah. I love it. No,

[00:16:52] you're copying. Yeah. I'm not copying. They're going to

[00:16:55] play it. They're going to play it. You're playing the

[00:16:56] clip. What's what are the odds of both of us? Yeah, they're all

[00:16:59] free. Like, yeah. Because that's the part that you put your

[00:17:01] dick into. No, it's not. Where do you put your dick? No, it's

[00:17:05] not. Yeah, we don't have time for you. Yeah, we know. Can you

[00:17:08] just wait? We don't have to say we haven't had the talk yet.

[00:17:12] Okay. Can you guys just explain to me how you do it? We can't.

[00:17:18] How do you make it? I'm going to sit my son down and say,

[00:17:20] we're going to have the birds and the bees talk. Mm hmm. And I

[00:17:23] got a mason jar full of bees and I make them fucking. And I'm

[00:17:26] like, you think about that next time you want to get horny. Think

[00:17:31] about all these bee stings. Now how slow I'm driving to the

[00:17:34] hospital right now. How I'm taking my sweet time and stopping

[00:17:39] it sonic to get a very blue eyes. Oh, it's not for my son. I

[00:17:46] just gave him the birds and the bees talk. This is a black

[00:17:50] teenager on roller skates. I think your son's dying.

[00:17:53] This is a wrong.

[00:17:55] Private. Your son's dick is bleeding.

[00:18:00] He's got a baby. He's got a baby. The boy needs to learn.

[00:18:10] Yeah, my son's learning about sex. Now bring me my thoughts in

[00:18:15] my fucking I bring my fucking tater tots. It seems like you

[00:18:19] focus a lot more on the bees aspect than the birds aspect of

[00:18:24] the talk. Next step of the talk. If he doesn't get it, then a

[00:18:27] vulture will will vulture his cock. Adam a vulture will

[00:18:32] vault. Yes. What did you call snow on the last episode?

[00:18:37] What? All the snowing. I called going skiing.

[00:18:42] Oh, snowing.

[00:18:46] And I'm still mad that there will be that much snow in

[00:18:49] Canada. No, there won't be any. It'll be summer.

[00:18:54] But there will be maple. Oh, yeah. Come see us in Canada.

[00:18:57] We are going to be there. Go to come town dot events.

[00:19:02] Adam got real excited. He was the one that actually booked the

[00:19:06] tour because he misread it and thought they said, manada.

[00:19:09] That's right. Yeah. He's been crying every day. He's been

[00:19:11] crying that he found out. It's not a manada. It's been weeping

[00:19:16] for hours. But anyway, Toronto June 15th, Montreal

[00:19:20] June 19th, Ottawa the 21st, Vancouver sold that. But we're

[00:19:25] working to get a second shows. I think we're going to be there an

[00:19:28] extra day. I think we're going to end up being there an extra day. So, it's

[00:19:30] probably going to be the 24th. But we don't know yet. And then Edmonton the 26th.

[00:19:35] I think there was a little miscommunication with the venue. If

[00:19:39] Edmonton's a day later. Edmonton might be a day later. The

[00:19:42] email the venue will email you if that's the case. But I think they're ready to

[00:19:45] put it to 26th. And also before if you're in LA,

[00:19:50] I will be in LA June 10th doing a couple shows. So, come out and suck me off.

[00:19:58] If you didn't see me last time, I'll be doing half new stuff. Half just trying.

[00:20:03] I should make an LA trip. I can't wait to see what good ass comedy is coming

[00:20:07] out of that city. Oh, yeah. It's really good ass comedy. Yeah.

[00:20:10] June 10th, lyric Hyperion, get your tickets for Star Wars,

[00:20:13] Halkyas, fucks around in LA. It's my one man show about getting

[00:20:18] head. Yeah. I will also be competing in the

[00:20:20] Indy 500 this year. Wow. I'm driving for

[00:20:26] Penske Marlboro. Marlboro. For Philip Morris.

[00:20:32] They said if you smoke 200 cigarettes, the world record.

[00:20:37] You get to drive time.

[00:20:42] Whatever. I had your leisure. You won't ever get around to it.

[00:20:47] You smoke 200 of them. Guess what, pal?

[00:20:51] You're allowed. Your guess who's coming to the dance?

[00:20:54] Oh, yeah. The dance being the five guess who's at the dance.

[00:21:00] Are you sure you weren't just invited to a dance by a guy named Philip?

[00:21:03] That may be it. Yeah. Now that I think about it,

[00:21:07] you said his last name is Myers and I.

[00:21:09] Philip Myers? Yeah. It wasn't Philip Morris.

[00:21:12] Oh, and 200 cigarettes smoking those.

[00:21:14] Did he mean sucking his dick to?

[00:21:16] No, I think that part didn't even happen. I think he just invited me to a party.

[00:21:20] Yeah. After you kissed the invited you to a dance.

[00:21:23] No. Are you sure?

[00:21:24] Yeah. I don't even smoke cigarettes.

[00:21:26] Philip Myers just texted me. He said you guys kissed.

[00:21:29] That's weird that you have some gay guy in your phone.

[00:21:31] Yeah. You had his phone number saved.

[00:21:33] He's my hairstylist.

[00:21:34] Yeah. But you don't have hair.

[00:21:36] You don't have hair. That's what it looks like.

[00:21:38] Oh, the other hair? He styles the hair around your asshole.

[00:21:42] There's cock. That's like, no, it's just gel.

[00:21:45] No. I'm just gel.

[00:21:46] Yes. It's not gay because it's gel.

[00:21:53] And I don't know for sure that it's just cock because I always have my eyes closed.

[00:21:57] So I'm not sure. So checkmate.

[00:22:01] You fucking idiots.

[00:22:05] What are we going to do in Canada, boys?

[00:22:06] I saw that people are mad about Brock Turner again,

[00:22:08] but I tried to Google and I couldn't find anything that happened.

[00:22:11] Did he do something new?

[00:22:12] That would be a pretty tight move on his own.

[00:22:16] The rape again?

[00:22:17] Yeah. That would be tight as hell.

[00:22:19] Well, I mean, he can't get a job. He can't do anything.

[00:22:22] It's like, do what you know. Do what you love.

[00:22:27] Can you imagine?

[00:22:29] The guy that counts like, if money wasn't an object,

[00:22:32] what's the one job you'd like to hit?

[00:22:34] Ooh.

[00:22:34] Yeah.

[00:22:35] Brock knows the answer.

[00:22:36] It's behind a dumpster.

[00:22:37] Do you think they're probably just mad because he's bad in general?

[00:22:44] Maybe he's trying to get back in his competitive swimming.

[00:22:48] That might be it.

[00:22:49] Yeah.

[00:22:51] And they're like, we don't want to provide a space for...

[00:22:54] When you say people, who is people now?

[00:22:56] I don't know. I saw it on Reddit.

[00:22:58] There's on the main page of Reddit.

[00:22:59] Really?

[00:23:00] Yeah.

[00:23:01] Maybe he did something like cute or something.

[00:23:04] Maybe he has a dog.

[00:23:04] Like a cat.

[00:23:05] No, just a picture of him and it said, this man is a rapist.

[00:23:09] Always say his name with a rapist at the end.

[00:23:11] Well, did he get released maybe or something?

[00:23:13] I mean, he got released two years ago.

[00:23:15] Jesus, really?

[00:23:16] Not only was he released two years ago,

[00:23:18] but the judge who sent him was like, fucking recalled a year ago.

[00:23:22] There's like no new Brock Turner news.

[00:23:23] Gotcha.

[00:23:25] Mm-hmm.

[00:23:25] So you just want to go out...

[00:23:28] You want to be on record and be pro-Brock right now?

[00:23:30] That's not what I said.

[00:23:32] I said he was...

[00:23:33] I saw it.

[00:23:34] I don't know why.

[00:23:35] Let's get to the bottom of this.

[00:23:37] So we'll check back in next episode.

[00:23:39] I don't have my phone on me.

[00:23:40] On the Brock.

[00:23:41] Which is also why I'm struggling to fill time.

[00:23:46] It's how a lot of people complain about me being my phone.

[00:23:48] They don't realize how big of a huge asset to the show that is.

[00:23:52] Incredible asset.

[00:23:53] I could consider the phone work and the show the fun distraction.

[00:23:58] Interesting.

[00:23:59] Psychologically how you have to do that.

[00:24:00] Psychologically.

[00:24:01] You're a master of psychology.

[00:24:03] I am a master of psychology.

[00:24:06] I was listening to a mafia podcast.

[00:24:10] Apparently John Gotti was very stupid and not good at being in the mob.

[00:24:15] Oh yeah.

[00:24:16] I always said that about him.

[00:24:17] He was a big loud mouth or whatever.

[00:24:19] So this is a tweet with 40 replies and one like,

[00:24:23] but this might be what's going on with Brock Turner.

[00:24:25] Brock Turner didn't rape anyone.

[00:24:27] Fingering a woman is not rape.

[00:24:29] Using abortion as a form of contraception is wrong.

[00:24:32] Having a child is a big decision that both parties should agree on it.

[00:24:37] If a person doesn't want a child,

[00:24:39] they should either use contraception or refrain from sex.

[00:24:42] So that's probably what's going on with Brock.

[00:24:43] Ooh, tweeted that.

[00:24:45] Del Boyd.

[00:24:50] Del Boyd.

[00:24:53] Nice.

[00:24:54] Del Boyd.

[00:24:55] That's a dumb name.

[00:24:56] I wonder what that guy does.

[00:24:57] Something stupid.

[00:24:58] Yeah.

[00:24:59] Let's see.

[00:25:00] I bet that guy does something dumb for his life.

[00:25:02] I think people are just posting pics of Brock and saying this man is a rapist.

[00:25:06] Yeah.

[00:25:07] Just for fun.

[00:25:07] I think because maybe because of Alabama.

[00:25:09] How about Dwayne the Brock Turner?

[00:25:13] Okay.

[00:25:14] Did I?

[00:25:14] I'll tell you there's one thing I love doing.

[00:25:16] It's fingering.

[00:25:18] And I'm not going to stop.

[00:25:21] That's good.

[00:25:21] Yeah.

[00:25:22] I am never going to stop.

[00:25:23] If you, I would say if you had to do a Brock Turner character,

[00:25:26] that's pretty good.

[00:25:27] Dwayne the Brock.

[00:25:28] Dwayne the Brock Turner.

[00:25:30] Buddy, there's only two things I enjoy in this world.

[00:25:32] It's fingering and getting away with it.

[00:25:36] I'd have to listen to him talk.

[00:25:37] What about who put my dick?

[00:25:40] He did another, yeah, the rock where it was like,

[00:25:42] yeah, yeah.

[00:25:43] Who put their dick in my ass?

[00:25:44] All right.

[00:25:46] Who put the dick in my ass?

[00:25:48] A dick in my ass?

[00:25:51] That's what I would keep saying to figure out.

[00:25:54] I haven't heard the rock talking forever, so I can't.

[00:25:56] Yeah.

[00:25:57] I watched Rampage with the rock.

[00:25:59] That shit was awesome.

[00:26:00] You know, it's funny.

[00:26:00] You ever like forget the voices of your dead relatives?

[00:26:05] I guess.

[00:26:06] Yeah.

[00:26:08] I think I just think that's funny that that happens.

[00:26:12] I sort of remember what my grandfather, grandmother, and I.

[00:26:14] I think I can remember what my grandfather saw like.

[00:26:16] Yeah, well, you won't forever.

[00:26:18] I'll forget it eventually.

[00:26:20] Oh, and then we'll be sad about it.

[00:26:22] Yeah.

[00:26:23] I think that's pretty funny.

[00:26:24] Yeah, it's funny, I guess.

[00:26:28] To me, that's a funny thing.

[00:26:30] That is, I guess you could see it as funny.

[00:26:35] And then when you die, no one else will remember them,

[00:26:39] basically.

[00:26:40] And that means that they'll basically,

[00:26:42] it's like as if they never existed.

[00:26:44] That's pretty funny.

[00:26:45] Unless they were in show business.

[00:26:47] Unless they were.

[00:26:48] Unless they left behind celebrities.

[00:26:50] Is that why the Jews don't believe in an afterlife?

[00:26:52] Because they have so much money in their show business

[00:26:55] and their names are on everything.

[00:26:57] You know, it's always going to be remembered

[00:26:59] that Adolf Hitler fella.

[00:27:02] So think about that.

[00:27:04] My man's never going to die.

[00:27:06] Catch 22.

[00:27:09] Miramax also.

[00:27:11] Harvey.

[00:27:11] Harvey.

[00:27:12] Once his name's on a bunch of movies.

[00:27:15] Shakespeare and love.

[00:27:16] Other than the name of that company is because it's their parents.

[00:27:19] Oh, Miriam and Max.

[00:27:20] Yeah.

[00:27:21] I never realized that.

[00:27:22] Sounds cool though.

[00:27:23] It sounds cool, but it's like the way like a child would name a lemonade stand.

[00:27:28] Miramax.

[00:27:30] It sounds.

[00:27:30] Yeah.

[00:27:31] I'm like cool business names.

[00:27:34] You know, like what?

[00:27:36] Like Viacom.

[00:27:38] I love that shit.

[00:27:41] Communications was the via.

[00:27:45] Viacom?

[00:27:45] You don't know.

[00:27:46] Yeah, I don't think so.

[00:27:48] Video International Association

[00:27:51] computers online multimedia.

[00:27:53] Whoa.

[00:27:55] Pretty cool.

[00:27:56] That is cool.

[00:27:57] Yeah.

[00:27:58] If I had to name a company, I would probably name it

[00:28:00] Halkyas Core and prizes.

[00:28:04] Halkyas Core worldwide.

[00:28:05] Yeah.

[00:28:07] Bitch.

[00:28:07] Sorry.

[00:28:08] Unknocked items.

[00:28:09] Exxon.

[00:28:11] Extreme pornography.

[00:28:14] Wait, there's no fee.

[00:28:15] Yeah.

[00:28:15] What?

[00:28:16] Oil.

[00:28:17] What?

[00:28:18] You said Exxon.

[00:28:19] Yeah.

[00:28:20] Well, the two Xs stand for pornography.

[00:28:22] Oh, yeah.

[00:28:22] Oh, yeah.

[00:28:23] I forgot.

[00:28:24] What about triple Exxon?

[00:28:26] XX Exxon.

[00:28:27] Yeah.

[00:28:27] And that is like a bunch of old white oil executives.

[00:28:30] It used to confuse me.

[00:28:31] Yeah.

[00:28:31] In cartoons.

[00:28:32] Putting those things in their asses.

[00:28:34] Oh, yeah.

[00:28:35] I feel like it's disrespectful for me to say Dosa Key.

[00:28:38] So I say two Xs.

[00:28:40] Nice.

[00:28:41] You know, because it's not my place as a white person.

[00:28:45] Yeah.

[00:28:45] To say.

[00:28:46] To speak Spanish.

[00:28:47] To speak Spanish.

[00:28:51] Let's culture a little bit.

[00:28:52] That is.

[00:28:52] Let me get two Xs.

[00:28:54] Let me get a two Xs beer, please.

[00:28:56] I don't know what you mean.

[00:28:57] I used to think.

[00:28:58] Do you remember when alcohol in cartoons was,

[00:29:01] it was a bottle that had three Xs on it?

[00:29:04] You thought they were drinking corn?

[00:29:05] I thought they were drinking corn.

[00:29:06] I was very confused by that.

[00:29:08] How would they be drinking corn?

[00:29:10] Because I remember learning as a child,

[00:29:12] XX meant porn.

[00:29:14] But then I also remember that it was like what they'd like

[00:29:17] drink in cartoons.

[00:29:19] Well, they probably did that in the west

[00:29:21] because nobody knew how to read.

[00:29:23] Yeah.

[00:29:23] You signed your name by putting it in.

[00:29:24] Can you imagine how I feel like,

[00:29:26] you know, a lot of people are like,

[00:29:27] oh, the industrial revolution was a mistake.

[00:29:30] The technological revolution was a mistake.

[00:29:32] I think teaching people how to read was really.

[00:29:34] Literacy was a mistake.

[00:29:35] That was the one that was bad.

[00:29:38] I think about like how nice my life would be

[00:29:40] if I just didn't know how to read.

[00:29:43] What would change?

[00:29:45] What do you mean, what would change?

[00:29:46] You couldn't get anywhere because you couldn't read like road signs.

[00:29:50] Yeah, but you'd learn directions and shit.

[00:29:53] No, I would just I would get around like I used to.

[00:29:56] I used to never know the names of roads.

[00:29:58] I just knew how to fucking get places.

[00:29:59] You just know this is a building and I turned here.

[00:30:02] I'm a tracker.

[00:30:03] Yeah, a tracker.

[00:30:05] Nick would crouch down and taste the ground.

[00:30:07] Just smelling.

[00:30:08] Yeah, smelling dirt and stuff.

[00:30:12] I would follow the hot girl with her pussy scent.

[00:30:15] You would catch your pussy scent in the wheat in the winds.

[00:30:19] That's good.

[00:30:19] Yeah, before I had a phone, I used to do that all the time.

[00:30:21] I go to the grocery store.

[00:30:22] I want milk.

[00:30:23] I'm on the other side of the store.

[00:30:25] Because some girl fucked up and more pajama bottoms.

[00:30:28] Oh man, they used to be such a hot look.

[00:30:31] Yeah, they rolled down pajama bottoms.

[00:30:33] Roll down pajama bottoms in a spaghetti strap tank top.

[00:30:36] Fat fucking ass.

[00:30:38] I'm about to get hard.

[00:30:39] It's dumb bitch.

[00:30:40] Excuse me?

[00:30:41] Sorry, I'm looking for the milk.

[00:30:42] I'm looking for milk.

[00:30:43] I'm trying to buy milk.

[00:30:44] I don't know how to read.

[00:30:48] Damn.

[00:30:52] I'm going to pull your fucking pajama.

[00:30:54] I'm sort of pantsier.

[00:30:56] She's like, hey, what's up?

[00:30:57] I'm like, shut up.

[00:30:59] Shut up.

[00:31:00] I don't know what's up with you.

[00:31:02] Would you, can I go please?

[00:31:06] Can I please leave?

[00:31:07] Can I leave the store?

[00:31:08] Thank you.

[00:31:09] Oh my god, you bitch.

[00:31:11] Do you want to hang out later?

[00:31:12] Shut up.

[00:31:15] Just shut up for once.

[00:31:22] Damn dude, I'm horny for spaghetti straps now.

[00:31:24] Yeah, I love those girls so much.

[00:31:27] Yeah.

[00:31:27] And they just suck off like adults.

[00:31:31] They wouldn't fuck us.

[00:31:33] You mean the teenagers we were horny for?

[00:31:35] Yeah, like 15 year old girls that were like smoke cigarettes

[00:31:39] in the park and suck off adults.

[00:31:41] Yeah, well, I got good news for you.

[00:31:43] And where fucking pajama bottoms are spaghetti straps?

[00:31:46] I got good news for you.

[00:31:47] What?

[00:31:47] You're an adult now.

[00:31:48] Mm-hmm.

[00:31:49] Now I can get sucked off by one of those children.

[00:31:51] What did you make with the

[00:31:41] what did you make with the one of those children?

[00:31:51] Damn, it's fine.

[00:31:52] So we're all these adults that were getting blow jobs

[00:31:55] from these bad girls.

[00:31:56] Well, it was you.

[00:31:57] It's you, dude.

[00:31:57] That's your opportunity.

[00:31:59] I've never done it.

[00:32:00] The ascension of Adam's mom.

[00:32:01] I'm not going to continue that cycle

[00:32:03] that hurts young boys like me.

[00:32:08] You're going to girls?

[00:32:09] I love they're like, sorry, I have to go smoke cigarettes

[00:32:12] and suck off adults.

[00:32:13] Those are the real victims.

[00:32:14] Those are the boys that are their age.

[00:32:17] Those boys need to learn.

[00:32:19] China took all the pussy away

[00:32:20] and those boys are doing better than anybody else.

[00:32:22] That's true.

[00:32:23] That's how you build a soul.

[00:32:25] China took all the pussy away.

[00:32:27] They fucking killed it.

[00:32:30] China said we're killing the pussy.

[00:32:32] Too much.

[00:32:32] We aren't making too much damn pussy.

[00:32:36] We need some factories.

[00:32:37] We need some fucking workers.

[00:32:38] We need some other fucking workers.

[00:32:41] No fuck.

[00:32:42] You make a phone.

[00:32:44] China's trying to fill the guys that are like,

[00:32:46] damn, I would get my dick hard, but

[00:32:49] I'm just more excited about getting the work.

[00:32:53] Fucking I love just working 12, 15 hours a day.

[00:32:57] Yeah, because that way you never think about not getting pussy.

[00:33:00] Eating imitation rat for dinner.

[00:33:02] I love being Chinese.

[00:33:09] I don't know how else to put it.

[00:33:11] I love not getting pussy.

[00:33:15] Wearing 18 hours.

[00:33:18] Fake-roading for a stew for dinner.

[00:33:20] Yeah.

[00:33:22] Now I had my pants fall down because I had to eat my belt.

[00:33:26] I had to cook my belt down into a soup.

[00:33:33] And wait until the leather

[00:33:35] turned in and made a nice soup.

[00:33:36] This fucked up.

[00:33:36] It gave me a leather belt.

[00:33:37] You know that's dinner time.

[00:33:41] You know my Chinese ass going to eat that belt.

[00:33:43] My Chinese ass going to eat that belt.

[00:33:44] My Chinese made leather belt stuff right out of this shit.

[00:33:49] You know my Chinese ass ain't going to be

[00:33:52] wearing no damn belt.

[00:33:59] That is so true.

[00:34:00] My no pussy Chinese.

[00:34:01] My no pussy getting my fucking Chinese ass.

[00:34:06] Go turn this belt into lunch.

[00:34:16] Yeah.

[00:34:18] That was a smart move.

[00:34:19] What do you think America would look like if we got no pussy?

[00:34:23] What?

[00:34:24] What would happen to our society if there was no pussy?

[00:34:26] We'd be back on top in 10 years.

[00:34:28] Interesting.

[00:34:29] You think it would focus us.

[00:34:31] You think that there's been too much smashing.

[00:34:34] And that's why we're on the decline.

[00:34:36] Yeah.

[00:34:37] That's the thing is like women are like when men are in charge

[00:34:40] they're fighting all the time.

[00:34:41] And it's like well they're fighting all the time when there's women around.

[00:34:45] So kill all the women.

[00:34:47] Oh okay.

[00:34:48] All right.

[00:34:49] Maybe send them to Pussy Island.

[00:34:51] No I didn't send them to Pussy Island.

[00:34:53] That's where you take a vacation.

[00:34:53] No you have to like earn a trip to Pussy Island.

[00:34:56] We take all the America where you work really hard at the factory

[00:35:01] for a weekend at Pussy Island every five years.

[00:35:03] Pussy Island is just like a fake place like Shell Beach in Dark City.

[00:35:07] Yeah.

[00:35:07] Everyone has memories of Pussy Island but no one can.

[00:35:10] There's no way to get there.

[00:35:12] Yeah.

[00:35:12] Yeah.

[00:35:13] That's beautiful.

[00:35:14] That's one way to go about it.

[00:35:15] No you kill all the women.

[00:35:17] No.

[00:35:18] I don't know.

[00:35:19] Nick you keep going back to us.

[00:35:20] I don't know.

[00:35:20] Maybe I'm mad about this like it's feasible.

[00:35:22] I'm talking about an ideal situation.

[00:35:24] He's saying in the best place.

[00:35:27] I have any area to kill all the women in the world.

[00:35:31] Like how could you say that?

[00:35:32] It's like well it's a fantasy.

[00:35:34] It's a fantasy.

[00:35:35] I don't have any bullets.

[00:35:36] I heard there's no way I could do that.

[00:35:40] You leave one you should probably shit out 35 more out of a pussy.

[00:35:44] It's so true.

[00:35:45] Yep.

[00:35:46] I hate one girl shit out 35 girls.

[00:35:47] Dude just keep making more girls.

[00:35:50] I don't have time to fuck them all and it makes me mad.

[00:35:54] I just want to go back to my no pussy getting factory

[00:35:57] and work 27 hours a day.

[00:36:00] You know.

[00:36:00] That's right.

[00:36:01] Eating boiled down kush balls.

[00:36:05] Making fucking eat socks.

[00:36:07] Yeah right.

[00:36:08] The only I'm getting paid in novelty pencil eraser.

[00:36:12] A little a little a pandas and

[00:36:14] a little animal animal figurine erasers is my paycheck.

[00:36:19] Yes sir.

[00:36:20] And I don't give a shit because I know that one day we're going to finish this

[00:36:24] bomb that we're going to drop on New York City.

[00:36:28] And then we can go there and get all of their pussy.

[00:36:32] I guess that's New York City.

[00:36:34] It's not that that'll be a fun story where China's killed all the pussy

[00:36:37] because they want to just focus get everything together.

[00:36:40] They're overtaking America and then fuck all the American women.

[00:36:45] Because they're tired of Chinese bitches or whatever.

[00:36:48] And then like they come here right and they've already they've invaded or whatever.

[00:36:54] And they're like the men are like they're talking to American guys.

[00:36:58] And they're like and now for the final part of the plan.

[00:37:03] We're going to take all of your pussy because we are tired of fucking Chinese trash pussy.

[00:37:09] Okay.

[00:37:11] And then we're all like oh you can have them like we we want the Asian pussy.

[00:37:17] Chinese pussy.

[00:37:18] They're like you mean to tell me this whole time.

[00:37:21] We can just trade it.

[00:37:21] Everything could have been fixed with a trade agreement.

[00:37:25] Like yeah.

[00:37:27] Yeah of course.

[00:37:28] And they're like rats.

[00:37:31] Oh no.

[00:37:32] But too bad they killed all their pussy.

[00:37:35] But anyways that's more of like this is the movie pitch and it's yeah.

[00:37:40] It's sort of you know I mean it's it's it's cerebral because it's mostly it's about our

[00:37:45] current situation.

[00:37:46] Yeah it's smart.

[00:37:47] But instead of instead of pussy it's about oil.

[00:37:51] You know I don't know.

[00:37:52] Some they have a scene in there that makes some of the characters trans.

[00:37:57] That way you get you get the you get that the online set.

[00:38:02] Millennials love that shit.

[00:38:03] Yeah.

[00:38:04] You want to have a big opening weekend you put a trans person in the movie.

[00:38:09] And she can do anything a guy can do.

[00:38:12] You know right or I mean but actually she can't because she's not a guy anymore.

[00:38:19] That's my I'm doing Captain Marvel but it's a trans woman and she's like I don't want to do

[00:38:23] anything hell because there's nothing masculine.

[00:38:26] And that's a real hero.

[00:38:27] That's what people want to see.

[00:38:28] Is trans Wonder Woman and she's no even though she's trans.

[00:38:34] She can't.

[00:38:34] Well because she's trans she's fully trans.

[00:38:38] She's so useless.

[00:38:39] She's because she's transitioned into being a woman.

[00:38:44] She's become useless.

[00:38:44] She's like every other woman and she's she's not Wonder Woman.

[00:38:47] So to start from.

[00:38:48] She's not a woman with with a man's bone structure who can do things.

[00:38:52] She's a regular woman.

[00:38:54] Who in your calculation is completely useless.

[00:38:57] Who is not capable of doing the things that Wonder Woman who is a rude stereotype of a trans woman.

[00:39:05] Is capable of doing interesting.

[00:39:07] Wonder Woman is a regular woman with the strength of possibly several men.

[00:39:13] All right.

[00:39:14] You know that is rude.

[00:39:15] It is rude.

[00:39:16] Yeah.

[00:39:17] If you wonder woman is trans.

[00:39:18] If you don't view one of the.

[00:39:20] Say that she's like some whole shit lens of.

[00:39:24] You know whatever.

[00:39:26] Getting your dick sucked.

[00:39:27] Yes.

[00:39:27] Getting your dick sucked.

[00:39:30] That is a lens.

[00:39:31] Yeah.

[00:39:32] That's my favorite lens dude.

[00:39:34] That's what that's kind of lens I slap on my DSLR.

[00:39:38] The getting your dick sucked lens.

[00:39:39] Lens crafters.

[00:39:41] You go in there you're like do you do any custom stuff.

[00:39:44] That's right.

[00:39:44] No we just have the glasses and it's like well it doesn't sound like you're much of a crafter.

[00:39:48] That's right because I want a monocle for my penis.

[00:39:51] I want my cock to look huge with these glasses.

[00:39:54] I want you to put them on every one of America.

[00:39:58] There's only a gun.

[00:40:01] Put theirs on.

[00:40:02] Put theirs on.

[00:40:04] They just politely ask you to leave the glass.

[00:40:06] Then make my gosh huge and force every woman to wear them.

[00:40:12] It's simple.

[00:40:14] I'm in the fucking white marsh lens crafters.

[00:40:17] Shouting.

[00:40:21] All right thanks to a fucking Z burger.

[00:40:23] Yeah I got a piss.

[00:40:27] If you could if you could make one pair of P2.

[00:40:30] Well you want to cross swords.

[00:40:33] Do you ever do that with your boys?

[00:40:34] No.

[00:40:35] Cross swords.

[00:40:36] Cross streams.

[00:40:38] You never did that to the X with your pisses.

[00:40:41] Oh shit the cat fucked the bean bag up.

[00:40:43] No I've never done that.

[00:40:44] If you could have one pair of magical glasses from lens crafters.

[00:40:49] And you can't steal my answer of making your dick bigger.

[00:40:53] Um maybe like the glasses from They Live where you know you look at an advertisement

[00:40:58] and then you see the truth behind it.

[00:41:00] Which they live.

[00:41:01] This is a movie.

[00:41:04] Sounds like.

[00:41:04] Here's John Carpenter.

[00:41:06] Maybe Nick would know.

[00:41:07] He's pissing right now.

[00:41:08] That's an advertisement that's your answer.

[00:41:10] It's a no it's just you see all the truth behind all the hypocrisy in society.

[00:41:16] Without even thinking glasses where you can see everyone's titties.

[00:41:20] That's how does that not your X-ray vision.

[00:41:23] Yes second of all glasses where you tell the future.

[00:41:27] Where you can't where you see.

[00:41:30] You're watching a TV and it tells you what's going to happen in an hour.

[00:41:36] So we can gamble on sports.

[00:41:38] Okay.

[00:41:39] So I've just blown you out of the water with three different.

[00:41:41] They live Nick.

[00:41:43] I've blown you out of the fucking water with three different kinds of magical.

[00:41:46] Those aren't that good.

[00:41:48] They're great.

[00:41:50] Listen to Adam.

[00:41:50] I asked Adam.

[00:41:51] Yeah I'm back from the bathroom everyone.

[00:41:53] I asked Adam what other magical glasses from white marsh lens crafters you would want.

[00:41:57] I would want ones where I put them on then I go see the new Aladdin movie and everyone's white.

[00:42:03] That'd be great.

[00:42:04] See Nick comes in just right off top.

[00:42:06] Just me in the theater like yeah.

[00:42:08] Fuck yeah.

[00:42:09] This movie is all this.

[00:42:11] What if you gave.

[00:42:12] Oh yeah I love Aladdin.

[00:42:14] What if you.

[00:42:15] Fuck yeah.

[00:42:17] What if I come down.

[00:42:19] What if I got my glasses on.

[00:42:22] What if you shut up.

[00:42:23] Every racist those glasses and then they would just think everyone's white.

[00:42:28] So they wouldn't be racist anymore.

[00:42:30] That's good.

[00:42:32] Adam said some bullshit from glasses that already existed a movie.

[00:42:36] What's that?

[00:42:37] I would.

[00:42:38] They live or something.

[00:42:39] Oh cool.

[00:42:40] So you can see aliens like.

[00:42:43] No aliens.

[00:42:44] That's cool.

[00:42:45] You don't see aliens.

[00:42:46] That's really the truth behind society.

[00:42:49] That's really cool dude.

[00:42:51] I said glasses where you see titties.

[00:42:54] Duh.

[00:42:54] Duh.

[00:42:55] That's too distracting.

[00:42:56] Duh.

[00:42:56] I can't see titties all day long.

[00:42:58] Shut up.

[00:42:58] Duh.

[00:42:59] Also and also glasses where you look at the TV and it tells you what.

[00:43:02] Part of the pleasure of seeing titties is that you have to take the clothes off to see

[00:43:07] them.

[00:43:07] Oh that would be cool.

[00:43:08] That would be cool.

[00:43:08] Those are both good answers and not just something.

[00:43:11] I know they're good answers.

[00:43:14] Not only is your answer gay and stolen.

[00:43:18] The freedom of special.

[00:43:20] And stolen.

[00:43:23] Like your cock.

[00:43:24] All right.

[00:43:24] Maybe glasses that.

[00:43:26] There we go.

[00:43:26] Come on.

[00:43:27] That would make it seem like everyone around me is respecting.

[00:43:30] That's good.

[00:43:31] Yeah.

[00:43:31] I want glasses that like when I put them on whenever I go into like a convenience store

[00:43:36] or Dunkin Donuts or whatever they show me with the Indian person behind the counter

[00:43:40] was doing an India before they came here.

[00:43:44] Like surgery or like.

[00:43:48] I don't know.

[00:43:49] Wearing like cool.

[00:43:51] Raj clothes.

[00:43:52] Yeah.

[00:43:53] Yeah.

[00:43:54] Dance.

[00:43:54] A lot of dancing I imagine.

[00:43:56] Yeah.

[00:43:56] A lot of musical.

[00:43:57] A lot of chai hoe.

[00:43:59] Yeah.

[00:44:02] Yeah.

[00:44:03] Yeah.

[00:44:03] Those are that's good too man.

[00:44:04] Yeah.

[00:44:05] Glasses that let you tell tells you how to.

[00:44:07] Uh.

[00:44:08] Win it every video game.

[00:44:11] Well that's cool.

[00:44:12] Yeah.

[00:44:14] Glasses.

[00:44:15] It tells you how to win it every video.

[00:44:16] Yeah.

[00:44:17] That's cool.

[00:44:18] That really that would make video games a lot more fun too.

[00:44:22] Knowing how to win.

[00:44:24] Yeah.

[00:44:25] If you didn't really have to do anything.

[00:44:27] Yeah.

[00:44:28] That's what I'm saying about the Sea Girls Titties glasses.

[00:44:31] If you see titties all day long then titties don't become exciting anymore.

[00:44:36] Spoken like a man who doesn't truly love titties.

[00:44:38] No part of the pleasure of seeing a titty is that seeing a bra come off

[00:44:42] and then seeing a titty pop out.

[00:44:44] You know.

[00:44:45] Still get that pleasure Adam.

[00:44:46] No it's about it's about it's about supply and demand or something.

[00:44:51] Oh here comes Mr.

[00:44:52] fucking.

[00:44:52] I don't know.

[00:44:53] I'm hung over right now my head.

[00:44:55] But it's about it's if something isn't readily available.

[00:44:59] There's a scarcity.

[00:45:00] Then it makes it more more appealing.

[00:45:03] Don't be mad at me.

[00:45:04] If you're seeing a fucking thing from a movie that sucks.

[00:45:08] It was a bad answer.

[00:45:10] Don't be mad at me.

[00:45:10] I acknowledge that it was a bad answer.

[00:45:12] So don't try and.

[00:45:13] I'm not mad at you.

[00:45:14] Which is a very visceral pleasure to it and you can admit that.

[00:45:19] Actually I want glasses to let me talk to animals.

[00:45:21] That's good.

[00:45:22] That's cool.

[00:45:23] That's an exact.

[00:45:23] I don't know how you do that with your eyes.

[00:45:25] Yeah.

[00:45:26] Well I mean yeah it does.

[00:45:28] I put the glasses on and then I can talk to animals.

[00:45:32] You're right.

[00:45:33] I guess that's the real thing.

[00:45:36] I guess we are all assholes for now.

[00:45:38] That would be great to be in a fucking Hollywood movie pit.

[00:45:41] It'd be like all right here's the idea.

[00:45:43] It's a guy who gets to hear glasses.

[00:45:45] This is the dude who helps to talk to animals.

[00:45:48] They're like why are they glasses?

[00:45:53] Then he can talk to animals.

[00:45:55] So you can talk to animals you fucking idiot.

[00:45:57] Yeah I want glasses.

[00:46:00] I want a hundred million dollars.

[00:46:01] They're like geez jury I don't know about this idea.

[00:46:04] Would you say your name was again?

[00:46:05] Adam Friedland.

[00:46:08] Well but here's 20 million dollars to make the movie.

[00:46:11] They just made a movie call for six million dollars about evil Superman.

[00:46:17] Bizarro's.

[00:46:18] That's pretty low budget for a comic book.

[00:46:22] It looks kind of cool.

[00:46:24] It's basically like some kid.

[00:46:25] I haven't seen it and I probably won't.

[00:46:28] I saw one of the recent Simpsons episodes.

[00:46:30] I think I already complained about this but something happens on the show

[00:46:33] and then like somebody mentions like DC or something and he's like yeah.

[00:46:37] Homer goes yeah.

[00:46:40] Good luck making a movie.

[00:46:41] Anybody wants to watch for more than 15 minutes.

[00:46:45] I mean reference to like DC comics.

[00:46:48] Whoever wrote that needs to kill themselves.

[00:46:51] No that's contemporary.

[00:46:52] First of all Homer doesn't do jokes.

[00:46:55] He's an idiot.

[00:46:56] It's supposed to be satire.

[00:46:59] Not only is he doing like jokey fucking assides.

[00:47:08] The idea that Homer would have an opinion about Marvel versus DC.

[00:47:11] Yeah it's totally out of character.

[00:47:14] Yeah Simpsons.

[00:47:15] The Simpsons are gay now.

[00:47:17] They are.

[00:47:18] Which is a real shame.

[00:47:20] How about they're gay.

[00:47:22] Every episode of the Simpsons after season 12 good.

[00:47:26] Oh tight.

[00:47:28] How about glasses where Lisa's hot and a real girl.

[00:47:31] She comes out of the TV and sucks your dick but she's a grown up.

[00:47:35] Yes she's not a girl.

[00:47:37] Like in leprechaun.

[00:47:38] I've never seen leprechaun but yes.

[00:47:41] I don't even remember if that happens in leprechaun.

[00:47:44] I know there's a scene where a girl comes out of a TV.

[00:47:47] That's the ring.

[00:47:47] That's the ring.

[00:47:48] No it happens in leprechaun.

[00:47:49] It's a stripper that comes out of the TV and the guy's in a hotel room.

[00:47:52] He's like oh yeah all right.

[00:47:54] Then he's fucking her and then she turns into a robot that starts killing him.

[00:47:59] I love that guy.

[00:48:00] He's just like sweet.

[00:48:01] Which it seems weird that the scene in the movie considering they already had a leprechaun.

[00:48:06] You know.

[00:48:07] What does that have to do with being a leprechaun?

[00:48:10] You know what I should go back and watch leprechaun again.

[00:48:12] Because I remember thinking that like what he does is make people unlucky.

[00:48:16] So like fall down the stairs and shit.

[00:48:19] There's a magician that saw his assistant in half.

[00:48:22] But I mean I haven't seen leprechaun since.

[00:48:24] Wait that's how he kills them with bad luck.

[00:48:26] I think so.

[00:48:26] They made a black one right with iced tea.

[00:48:29] Like leprechaun three.

[00:48:30] Yeah leprechaun like there's a lot more on the moon.

[00:48:33] There's a.

[00:48:34] Oh yeah dude.

[00:48:35] Yeah leprechaun in the hood I think is cool.

[00:48:38] Yeah nice.

[00:48:40] Why would a leprechaun be able to make a bitch come out of a television?

[00:48:44] I don't know dude.

[00:48:45] I just remember that happening in the movie.

[00:48:46] It's fucked up and I don't.

[00:48:48] Yeah I haven't seen that or any of the child's play movies since I was like fucking seven.

[00:48:53] Shouts out Jennifer Tilly with her big fat titties.

[00:48:57] In one of the chunky movies.

[00:48:59] Chunky.

[00:49:00] So I love to watch the chunky movies.

[00:49:03] Child's play is so scary to me.

[00:49:06] Every time I see child's play I get scared because chunky because chunky is going to come and hurt me.

[00:49:16] Oh fuck out of you gay bitch.

[00:49:18] Yeah thanks for holding my hand.

[00:49:21] We should do an episode where we're all holding hands the whole episode.

[00:49:24] Yeah if I could turn back time.

[00:49:27] Do do do do do do.

[00:49:29] I would help it.

[00:49:31] I would love if I would not kill him.

[00:49:37] I would help him instead.

[00:49:39] I would help his strategic failures.

[00:49:43] I would want him about his hubris.

[00:49:49] Yeah you don't need the whole world.

[00:49:51] Just take.

[00:49:53] Yeah what if it was just like Austria, France.

[00:49:56] I'll just take a shit ton of Europe.

[00:49:58] What would have happened?

[00:49:59] If he didn't go for Russia.

[00:50:02] He would have been chilling.

[00:50:03] What have you been?

[00:50:05] Maybe.

[00:50:05] Wouldn't we have fucked this shit up either way?

[00:50:08] Well I guess you could say maybe we would have dropped the bomb on Germany also but

[00:50:15] yeah Germany had already surrendered.

[00:50:18] No but what about if he didn't surrender if he was like all right I'm good.

[00:50:23] I'm good just with this.

[00:50:25] I'm good with this.

[00:50:26] Mm-hmm.

[00:50:26] Just getting my paws on France.

[00:50:28] Wait we want to take the UK also.

[00:50:32] Did he ever take the UK?

[00:50:33] No he bombed the shit out of the way.

[00:50:35] They bombed the shit out of each other.

[00:50:37] Let's not forget.

[00:50:39] No already.

[00:50:41] Yeah Dresden got fucked up.

[00:50:44] Yeah apparently London was more beautiful but they fucked it up.

[00:50:50] Hitler fucked it up.

[00:50:51] Yeah it was more.

[00:50:52] That exact sentence in a Ken Burns documentary.

[00:50:57] Old London.

[00:50:58] Because Paris looks cool as shit.

[00:50:59] Because they were little bitches.

[00:51:01] Because they just gave up.

[00:51:01] Yeah they said come fuck our asses Hitler.

[00:51:04] Here's our Jews.

[00:51:05] Do not burn our buildings.

[00:51:07] Yeah yeah that's cool.

[00:51:08] But London was like oh god suck me off I.

[00:51:12] Yeah they're like oh yeah they're like.

[00:51:16] Come get me coke.

[00:51:17] Come suck me coke.

[00:51:18] Hitler.

[00:51:21] Hitler.

[00:51:22] Hitler yeah.

[00:51:23] That's how they say London right?

[00:51:26] Hitler.

[00:51:26] Hitler.

[00:51:27] Hitler is bombed all the villagers.

[00:51:31] We don't know what to do.

[00:51:33] He's don't know how too many bombs.

[00:51:34] Come eat my ass.

[00:51:35] Hitler.

[00:51:36] Yeah they don't do too many bombs.

[00:51:37] Yeah.

[00:51:41] I don't know.

[00:51:42] Hitler.

[00:51:43] Yeah.

[00:51:43] Now what was Australia were they just chilling because they're so far away?

[00:51:46] No they're part of England at the time so they fought.

[00:51:49] Oh damn they were fucking of Japan I guess.

[00:51:51] My grandfather was part of England at the time or the British Empire.

[00:51:55] So he fought in the British Army.

[00:51:57] But where was our shirt?

[00:52:00] Oh damn.

[00:52:01] Was anyone just not involved?

[00:52:02] Did anybody just.

[00:52:03] Canada was part of the British Army.

[00:52:05] Did anybody just chill though?

[00:52:07] Switzerland.

[00:52:08] Switzerland yeah.

[00:52:09] Right in the middle and they got the chills.

[00:52:11] Also Denmark.

[00:52:14] Or Sweden.

[00:52:15] What about like Brazil?

[00:52:17] I don't know what's going on there.

[00:52:19] They're probably chilling.

[00:52:21] They are like most of Latin America had this like deal with the United States where the

[00:52:26] United States like got all of their exports basically like on credit.

[00:52:32] So like they helped economically.

[00:52:35] Gotcha.

[00:52:35] Like tremendously and then after the war we were like yeah we're not paying that shit back.

[00:52:39] Yeah it's so fucking crazy.

[00:52:41] That's so tight.

[00:52:42] Yeah America fucking rocks.

[00:52:43] I'm just not paying that shit back at all.

[00:52:45] And at the same time like just giving massive amounts of money to Europe.

[00:52:49] Yeah yeah yeah.

[00:52:50] Well that's all you know they're white so.

[00:52:52] Yeah yeah.

[00:52:54] And as a result Brazil was like all right well how about this.

[00:52:58] We're gonna fucking harbor all those old ass Nazis.

[00:53:00] Yeah.

[00:53:01] Brazil and Argentina.

[00:53:03] They're like we're just gonna keep these motherfuckers safe.

[00:53:05] Yeah we didn't give a shit about that at all.

[00:53:07] No.

[00:53:08] No we also took some of the Nazis.

[00:53:09] Yeah the ones that were going to sign up.

[00:53:11] What I would have been mad about is like them taking the scientists.

[00:53:13] Which we.

[00:53:14] Yeah yeah yeah.

[00:53:15] There's really no need for like generals or whatever.

[00:53:18] Right.

[00:53:18] Those are the ones you can grata.

[00:53:20] Well they lost a war they're bad at their job.

[00:53:23] Uh huh.

[00:53:24] Hitler was just a bad general but he was just a good he was good with the with the tongue right.

[00:53:31] Yeah it's good.

[00:53:31] You're pussy.

[00:53:36] My man was on amphetamines.

[00:53:38] Yeah he was yipped up that whole time.

[00:53:40] He was yep.

[00:53:42] A real danger of what what fucking Adderall can do.

[00:53:45] I think Kennedy was on amphetamines.

[00:53:48] Really?

[00:53:48] Hell yeah.

[00:53:49] Wasn't they had that guy Dr. Feelgood that was like.

[00:53:52] Everyone in baseball was doing greenies.

[00:53:56] Damn.

[00:53:57] Honestly I feel great on amphetamines.

[00:53:59] Kennedy deserved to be murdered.

[00:54:00] Both of them.

[00:54:02] You thought he deserved it?

[00:54:04] Yeah both of them.

[00:54:05] Why but why bother?

[00:54:06] I don't think that a paper should be the head of our country.

[00:54:10] Like goddamn cathles.

[00:54:11] He's a thing.

[00:54:12] What if the pope gives him orders?

[00:54:13] Who's he listening to?

[00:54:14] He's not listening to us.

[00:54:15] He's listening to the fucking.

[00:54:17] Well that Latin America shit.

[00:54:19] That was all those all the Kennedys.

[00:54:22] What was?

[00:54:23] In Vietnam.

[00:54:24] Well yeah Vietnam too but like the Kennedys were paranoid about Latin America.

[00:54:30] They thought like you know I mean the Cold War was a priority for them so.

[00:54:34] They like toppled the shit ton of governments.

[00:54:36] Mmm.

[00:54:38] Put a lot of like right wing people in place.

[00:54:40] They like committed genocides.

[00:54:42] Did they?

[00:54:43] Yeah.

[00:54:44] And then Johnson came around.

[00:54:46] No.

[00:54:46] I mean it was happening like continuously.

[00:54:48] Right.

[00:54:49] From after FDR until like.

[00:54:52] Even before FDR.

[00:54:54] Well no FDR was like good on Latin America.

[00:54:57] But I mean we had the big stick policy under.

[00:55:00] Yeah.

[00:55:01] Teddy Roosevelt.

[00:55:01] Teddy Roosevelt like was shitty but like.

[00:55:04] Had a big stick.

[00:55:05] Yeah hell yeah dude.

[00:55:06] I got the big stick.

[00:55:07] There you go.

[00:55:08] Yeah.

[00:55:10] I'm actually the opposite.

[00:55:11] Speak loudly and carry a small stick.

[00:55:15] Yeah.

[00:55:15] I'm allowed mouth a little less dick.

[00:55:18] My motto is wear glasses that force women to have sex with you.

[00:55:22] That was also.

[00:55:23] But why are they glasses?

[00:55:25] Yeah.

[00:55:25] Oh yeah.

[00:55:29] Yeah.

[00:55:31] I'm wearing these glasses and consent those.

[00:55:33] They're magical glasses.

[00:55:35] Your Honor I'm sure you've heard of Felix and his magic bag of tricks.

[00:55:39] Well my glasses are similar to that.

[00:55:41] And then when I put them on.

[00:55:43] I can't I don't need the get consent.

[00:55:48] But why are they glasses?

[00:55:49] Is it Felix the cat?

[00:55:51] The judge is like contemplating it.

[00:55:54] He's like well I have heard of Felix the cat.

[00:55:59] And I am familiar with his magic bag of tricks.

[00:56:01] Can the state provide any evidence that these aren't magical glasses?

[00:56:06] Like what are you talking about?

[00:56:11] Well I mean it seems the burden of proof is on you to prove that this man doesn't have.

[00:56:19] He's made it clear that he's the only one that can see the magic.

[00:56:22] We've called four witnesses of the stand.

[00:56:24] None of them can see the magic.

[00:56:26] It's called wizards.

[00:56:27] Yeah.

[00:56:27] Witches.

[00:56:29] The man from the store in the mall.

[00:56:31] That sells swords.

[00:56:36] A bunch of fat bitches with black makeup with black lipstick

[00:56:40] that call themselves Wiccan.

[00:56:44] None of them see the magic.

[00:56:47] Do you believe in magic?

[00:56:49] I don't.

[00:56:50] I don't know.

[00:56:51] I think it's all tricks.

[00:56:53] Some guy got mad at me at the last.

[00:56:55] Funny mom.

[00:56:56] Funny mom so I asked him if he knew magic.

[00:56:58] Or because he said he believed in magic.

[00:57:00] Lorelai did a hilarious thing.

[00:57:02] Yeah that's a really good bit.

[00:57:03] Everyone.

[00:57:07] That was very funny.

[00:57:08] And one guy was like yeah and then I pressed him on it and he got very mad at me.

[00:57:13] But you know what?

[00:57:16] What's that a gun sound?

[00:57:17] It's a gun bro.

[00:57:18] But you're just you're just you're having shot it yet.

[00:57:22] I haven't shot it but if anyone gives me any lip

[00:57:27] I'll fucking kill them.

[00:57:28] I'll shoot them at the fucking head with a gun.

[00:57:30] No I can't wait to see that.

[00:57:32] I would love to watch someone die.

[00:57:36] By the hands of my friends who I care about.

[00:57:39] As you know how good that would feel for you.

[00:57:41] And as a friend I want that for you.

[00:57:44] As a comedian never committed suicide on stage.

[00:57:47] I don't think so.

[00:57:49] Some guy just died on stage.

[00:57:50] Some guy died on some British guy.

[00:57:52] Yeah.

[00:57:52] Which salute.

[00:57:54] But he's British so he probably wasn't very funny.

[00:57:56] Yeah.

[00:57:58] That was part of my show.

[00:58:00] His fringe.

[00:58:01] My display at Edinburgh.

[00:58:04] I go to Edinburgh every year and I do my.

[00:58:07] You should go to Edinburgh honestly.

[00:58:08] You'd have our show.

[00:58:10] If you just do a show we'd probably pack it out.

[00:58:12] It would be funny.

[00:58:12] I would love to write a one man show.

[00:58:14] Just like completely unfunny.

[00:58:16] Complete just shit.

[00:58:17] They love confessional style comedy.

[00:58:20] Try to get a really good review from someone that doesn't know that they're like it's literally ironic.

[00:58:25] Should we do that next year?

[00:58:27] Like write like a fringe show.

[00:58:29] A fringe show.

[00:58:30] Here we go.

[00:58:32] And talk about.

[00:58:32] A man that was molested 19 times.

[00:58:37] It's confessional.

[00:58:39] We're confessing to being molested.

[00:58:42] Maybe we should.

[00:58:44] Oh yeah.

[00:58:45] I mean my bloody dad's Google search history.

[00:58:48] My bloody dad's Google search history.

[00:58:52] Oh yeah that girl didn't even put on clothes to do that.

[00:58:54] What?

[00:58:55] She's wearing like slides with socks.

[00:58:59] I mean that's that's cool style.

[00:59:02] Oh that could be her signature.

[00:59:03] Looking dumb as shit.

[00:59:07] No slides and socks.

[00:59:08] That just means that used to mean that you were on the basketball team in high school.

[00:59:14] And it was like game day.

[00:59:15] They were slides and socks.

[00:59:19] As someone who was on the middle school basketball team at Roland Park Elementary Middle School.

[00:59:23] 8th grade.

[00:59:24] Adidas slides and socks.

[00:59:26] Backup center at 5-7.

[00:59:28] Well you had both.

[00:59:29] Yeah.

[00:59:31] The other kid the other center was literally like 6-4.

[00:59:34] He was gigantic.

[00:59:35] Yeah.

[00:59:36] And I believe it failed one year.

[00:59:40] Damn.

[00:59:40] That was honestly the peak of my life.

[00:59:43] Scoring 17 points off the bench.

[00:59:45] 17 points.

[00:59:46] Roland Park Elementary.

[00:59:47] It's a big game.

[00:59:48] It was legitimately a big game.

[00:59:49] That's actually a monster game for middle school basketball.

[00:59:52] Yeah.

[00:59:53] And then I just wouldn't get pussy for another what 10 years.

[00:59:57] No.

[00:59:57] They have.

[00:59:58] Nine years.

[00:59:59] I don't think I've ever had a peak.

[01:00:01] My life's just sort of been like linear shit.

[01:00:03] You've never enjoyed anything?

[01:00:05] I've never felt good.

[01:00:06] Yeah.

[01:00:07] Which one thing you've done that you were happy about?

[01:00:11] I can think of that.

[01:00:12] That game.

[01:00:14] I can think of it.

[01:00:14] I went 4-4-4 in a game in middle school.

[01:00:18] And I asked my dad if we could go to the new Taco Bell Bar house afterwards.

[01:00:21] He said no because it's Passover.

[01:00:23] I've never accomplished anything in my life.

[01:00:25] I've never.

[01:00:26] I really, I haven't.

[01:00:27] I've never been good at anything ever.

[01:00:29] Yeah.

[01:00:30] Yeah.

[01:00:31] You never like wrote anything.

[01:00:32] Like you never finished one of those pieces and were like, this is funny.

[01:00:35] No.

[01:00:36] Then the cool thing was all right.

[01:00:38] Those are all right.

[01:00:39] I mean, I've done a lot of all right.

[01:00:41] Do you feel like an accomplishment?

[01:00:42] No.

[01:00:43] No.

[01:00:44] Some shit at school I felt accomplished.

[01:00:47] I was the number one.

[01:00:48] I won.

[01:00:49] I had the best grades in Greek school.

[01:00:51] At.

[01:00:53] I felt like an accomplishment.

[01:00:54] Oh, Greek school is like, it's like after school.

[01:00:58] Three times a week after regular school, I would go to Greece.

[01:01:00] And learn like.

[01:01:01] And learn my mother tongue.

[01:01:03] Alpha.

[01:01:04] Alpha.

[01:01:04] Alpha.

[01:01:04] I got my dad's type shit.

[01:01:06] Yeah.

[01:01:07] Yeah.

[01:01:07] Yeah.

[01:01:08] I'm about to go to Greece in September.

[01:01:11] Sick dude.

[01:01:11] Little short trip though.

[01:01:12] Don't worry, boys.

[01:01:14] I'm only gonna be gone nine days.

[01:01:16] For what?

[01:01:17] Just to go.

[01:01:18] I found some cheap ass tickets.

[01:01:20] Yeah.

[01:01:20] How much for the ticket?

[01:01:22] Dude, no joke.

[01:01:22] I found like under $600 around trip.

[01:01:25] So sick.

[01:01:26] And I think they're like.

[01:01:27] I want to go.

[01:01:28] They're gone.

[01:01:28] Check them out.

[01:01:29] See if you can find them.

[01:01:31] That's the lowest I've ever seen in my life.

[01:01:34] I want to go.

[01:01:35] I want to be on a beach in August.

[01:01:38] I'm only in September.

[01:01:39] September in Greece is probably perfect.

[01:01:41] Beautiful.

[01:01:41] October is nice too.

[01:01:42] Really?

[01:01:43] That's the trick.

[01:01:43] That's the fucking little sneak shit.

[01:01:45] Go in October.

[01:01:46] No one's there.

[01:01:46] I want to book like a whole month at yellow snow.

[01:01:49] And try and wrestle.

[01:01:50] Do some Arthur shit?

[01:01:52] What do you mean Arthur shit?

[01:01:53] You kill animals, make their skins into clothes.

[01:01:58] Arthur from Red.

[01:01:58] That happened on the show now?

[01:02:00] No Arthur from Red.

[01:02:02] Oh, oh, oh.

[01:02:03] Redemption.

[01:02:04] I was like, Dan, that's a step up from some gay shit.

[01:02:08] Yeah, we'll take a red.

[01:02:10] They're murdering each other and wearing each other.

[01:02:11] Once the animals taste each other's cum,

[01:02:13] once the gay animals taste each other's cum, they go crazy.

[01:02:18] Crazy for cum.

[01:02:19] By the way, if you're a contractor in Baltimore and listen to the show,

[01:02:22] you mean some work?

[01:02:23] Yeah, stop broke the stairs at his house.

[01:02:25] I did not break the stairs in my house.

[01:02:28] Stop, but I would like a fence.

[01:02:31] Snow.

[01:02:31] Roll down the stairs like a bowling ball and smash through nine balls.

[01:02:37] I've picked up too much speed.

[01:02:39] And now there's a just a circle.

[01:02:41] You move up up.

[01:02:42] There's a circle.

[01:02:43] Four walls in that door.

[01:02:46] You're going to roll the cross.

[01:02:48] And knock down three more houses.

[01:02:53] And it was literally only five stairs.

[01:02:57] So that did not happen.

[01:02:59] That's what nature's describing.

[01:03:01] What nature's describing not happened,

[01:03:03] but I would like a nice backyard fence built.

[01:03:06] So if anyone is a contractor, hit me in the DMs.

[01:03:08] Or you can email me at stave at stave.biz.

[01:03:17] Great.

[01:03:17] That isn't what happened.

[01:03:18] Good game.

[01:03:19] Nick is still imagining me falling down and doing holes in the holes.

[01:03:25] And I want to reiterate, I did not do that.

[01:03:28] I've never fallen in that house.

[01:03:30] That's a good place to go.

[01:03:37] Oh, fuck.

[01:03:42] Hey, don't get a chandelier too.

[01:03:44] Who's I laughing for me?

[01:03:45] Oh, right.

[01:03:47] All right.

[01:03:47] Yeah, falling through the.

[01:03:50] Adam, where are you going?

[01:03:52] Why?

[01:03:54] But why?

[01:03:54] I have to pitch too, but I'm a pro and I'm holding it.

[01:03:57] Yeah, me too.

[01:03:58] You pissed already.

[01:03:59] All right.

[01:04:00] You already took a piss break.

[01:04:01] Yeah, I forgot about that, so it doesn't count.

[01:04:03] That's true.

[01:04:04] You forgot about something, you didn't do it.

[01:04:06] Your honor, I did not commit it the crime.

[01:04:10] I don't even remember sucking off that child.

[01:04:12] I want to take helicopter lessons.

[01:04:15] Why?

[01:04:16] I don't know.

[01:04:16] I think it'd be cool to get a helicopter fly around.

[01:04:20] Would you want to buy your own helicopter?

[01:04:22] Yeah.

[01:04:23] What do they cost?

[01:04:24] Like, it's $300, $500 something like that.

[01:04:27] Yeah.

[01:04:27] Yeah.

[01:04:29] Yeah, that sounds about right.

[01:04:30] $300, $500.

[01:04:31] Yeah.

[01:04:32] Just going to a helicopter sale being like,

[01:04:34] look, I got 500 bucks, so.

[01:04:36] Look, cash.

[01:04:37] It sounds like this.

[01:04:38] This is your problem.

[01:04:40] I brought money.

[01:04:41] All you brought is talk.

[01:04:44] Give me that helicopter.

[01:04:45] Give me that helicopter.

[01:04:45] No, I'm bringing it to the lessons.

[01:04:47] I'm going to fly it there.

[01:04:50] I got my learners from it.

[01:04:51] I got my helicopter learned.

[01:04:52] I got my phone.

[01:04:53] I don't have to show it to you.

[01:04:54] What do you, a cop?

[01:04:56] Just give me the fucking helicopter.

[01:04:57] Give me the helicopter.

[01:04:58] Just give it to me now.

[01:05:00] We're inside.

[01:05:02] We're in the Javits Center.

[01:05:03] I was in Vietnam.

[01:05:05] I was a helicopter pilot in Vietnam more.

[01:05:09] They actually probably cost, what, like, $300,000?

[01:05:13] Probably something like that.

[01:05:14] That sounds right.

[01:05:15] What do you think a helicopter cost, Adam?

[01:05:18] I think you get one for like 25 grand.

[01:05:21] No.

[01:05:22] Yeah.

[01:05:23] 25.

[01:05:23] Yeah, they got, they got a new, uh,

[01:05:25] Korean, the funniest answer, not 500, not a real answer.

[01:05:31] So we need 500.

[01:05:33] We were saying they cost three or $500.

[01:05:37] 25 grand.

[01:05:39] It's like, uh...

[01:05:40] Oh, you can get one for $1,800?

[01:05:43] No, you can't.

[01:05:45] There's no way that's...

[01:05:46] Well, maybe it's a fake.

[01:05:47] Maybe it's a little one.

[01:05:48] Maybe you can get the hot wheels website.

[01:05:52] Yeah, they're like...

[01:05:52] Like...

[01:05:54] Only one single rotor...

[01:05:57] Agriculture was 25,000.

[01:06:00] So Adam said the right answer.

[01:06:02] Thank you.

[01:06:02] As a joke.

[01:06:03] Not as a joke.

[01:06:04] I was answering a seriously.

[01:06:05] That's how bad you are guessing.

[01:06:06] No, we were trying to choose funny numbers,

[01:06:07] and you chose the right number by accident.

[01:06:09] No, I was trying to educate the audience

[01:06:10] on how much you can get a single rotor agricultural.

[01:06:13] No, that's not what happened.

[01:06:14] I was trying to...

[01:06:15] I just wanted people to know.

[01:06:16] We didn't even say agricultural one, so...

[01:06:19] But I was thinking in my mind about single rotor.

[01:06:22] No, because you never even know what agricultural...

[01:06:24] You don't know what agricultural even means.

[01:06:26] It has to do with farming.

[01:06:28] Can we look that up?

[01:06:30] Yeah.

[01:06:32] Hey, bitch, can you look that up?

[01:06:33] If it says...

[01:06:34] If it...

[01:06:34] Agricultural says it has to do with farming

[01:06:37] as a definition, then you're right.

[01:06:38] No, it's about crops.

[01:06:42] I'm going to look up real helicopters.

[01:06:44] Real helicopters.

[01:06:47] You would love to be a helicopter pilot like me,

[01:06:49] but you're not Adam.

[01:06:50] Yeah.

[01:06:53] I would love to.

[01:06:54] Yeah, but I'm happy for you that you are.

[01:06:56] Because that's the kind of friend that I am.

[01:06:58] Well, I'm also...

[01:06:59] I celebrate my friends.

[01:07:00] In fact, I'm a better friend than you.

[01:07:01] I only learned helicopter stuff

[01:07:03] so you could feel good for me about it.

[01:07:05] Well, I appreciate you doing that to give me the joy

[01:07:09] of feeling happy for you.

[01:07:10] Well, you would tell how much helicopters cost, man.

[01:07:13] Because I think those toys...

[01:07:15] But they're big, but they look big.

[01:07:16] Big toys.

[01:07:17] That's...

[01:07:18] You'd be cool.

[01:07:19] I think a helicopter with monster truck wheels on it.

[01:07:22] You know, and you could take it to the nude beach.

[01:07:29] Yeah.

[01:07:30] You could go check out the girls at the nude beach.

[01:07:33] Have you guys ever been in a nude beach?

[01:07:35] I went one time.

[01:07:36] I went once.

[01:07:38] Yeah, it was pretty disappointing, gotta say.

[01:07:42] A lot of old men.

[01:07:43] Oh, you went there to gawk at women?

[01:07:46] Yeah, to see titties.

[01:07:47] I went there with my girlfriend.

[01:07:49] Girl friend at the time.

[01:07:50] Nice.

[01:07:51] She loved doing shit like that because she was hot.

[01:07:53] And it was like...

[01:07:54] Yeah.

[01:07:55] You know, you're just a hot person.

[01:07:57] Yeah, you don't have to go to a nude beach to be hot.

[01:07:59] Yeah, right.

[01:08:00] Just stop doing this shit.

[01:08:02] I also remember how small my penis got in the ocean.

[01:08:05] Yeah.

[01:08:06] And then being afraid to come out

[01:08:07] because it shrunk the water was cold.

[01:08:10] She started jacking off.

[01:08:10] So I started jacking off in the ocean.

[01:08:12] They got kicked off the nude beach for jacking off.

[01:08:15] Are you allowed to jack off in a nude beach?

[01:08:18] Yes.

[01:08:20] That's what nude means.

[01:08:21] Yeah, that's what nude means.

[01:08:22] It really ended up.

[01:08:23] It really ended up.

[01:08:24] It means about jacking off.

[01:08:26] That's pretty cool.

[01:08:29] I like that that.

[01:08:29] That's what nude means.

[01:08:37] Doug.

[01:08:39] Do you remember Pepperan?

[01:08:41] Yeah, she was so annoying.

[01:08:42] She's fucking gay.

[01:08:45] She really got on my fucking nerves.

[01:08:46] I remember like despising that show.

[01:08:49] Why?

[01:08:50] I don't know why.

[01:08:51] Pepperan just pissed me off.

[01:08:53] She got me hot.

[01:08:54] I'd be like, I'd yell at my sister, turn that shit off.

[01:08:57] Do you not like redheads?

[01:08:59] Yeah, I kind of don't like that kind of.

[01:09:02] Didn't you have the same voice as Patty Manage?

[01:09:04] Kind of.

[01:09:07] I don't know.

[01:09:08] That kind of confidence and...

[01:09:10] The conference in a woman made you upset.

[01:09:12] Yeah.

[01:09:13] Yeah.

[01:09:13] You like your woman's meek and servile.

[01:09:17] Yeah.

[01:09:18] Did we ever find out if her pubes are red also?

[01:09:20] We did.

[01:09:21] Yeah.

[01:09:21] Episode six.

[01:09:22] Yeah.

[01:09:23] Wow.

[01:09:23] The curtains are hard to believe I didn't make it that far.

[01:09:26] I feel like I saw more episodes of Pepperan than six.

[01:09:29] No, episode six opens on a shot of her pussy.

[01:09:33] Woke up this morning.

[01:09:35] Got myself a gun.

[01:09:36] Paying Pepperan.

[01:09:38] Yeah, she's got a mirror.

[01:09:40] Yeah.

[01:09:40] And she's looking at her own pussy.

[01:09:42] Yeah.

[01:09:43] Anyone ever tell you you got the most beautiful fucking pussy in the world, Pepperan?

[01:09:47] Well, geez, thanks, Tony.

[01:09:51] Yeah, you remember that episode where Pepperan.

[01:09:52] Oh, Tony's the prayer.

[01:09:54] Yeah.

[01:09:54] Pepperan.

[01:09:55] Cross.

[01:09:56] Mm-hmm.

[01:09:57] Where Tony looks at the pussy.

[01:09:58] Tony's fucking Pepperan for a week.

[01:10:02] I'm saying I'm in love with you, goddamnit.

[01:10:05] Yeah.

[01:10:05] Tony, you don't even love yourself.

[01:10:07] How could you ever love a 14-year-old girl?

[01:10:13] I think she was younger.

[01:10:14] Yeah.

[01:10:15] Yeah.

[01:10:15] How could you love an 11-year-old girl, Tony?

[01:10:18] Don't miss.

[01:10:18] You hate yourself.

[01:10:20] You hate everyone in the world.

[01:10:22] You're in war with everything.

[01:10:25] I was just...

[01:10:26] You're in love with the fact that this is wrong.

[01:10:30] Damn, Pepperan was really fucking cogent.

[01:10:33] Mm-hmm.

[01:10:35] Just sitting in Melphy's office.

[01:10:38] I met somebody.

[01:10:39] Yeah.

[01:10:40] Yeah.

[01:10:40] And, uh, it's pretty good for me.

[01:10:46] She's a 11-

[01:10:46] This woman you're seeing, is she another child, Tony?

[01:10:50] Yeah.

[01:10:51] She's a petafop.

[01:10:53] This is about me.

[01:10:54] Yeah, my lead.

[01:10:55] I remember just never holding up a count.

[01:10:58] Yeah, just...

[01:10:58] Tony, this new woman that you're seeing is,

[01:11:02] she also a sixth grader at High Top Elementary School.

[01:11:07] With ADHD.

[01:11:09] It's not even your fucking business.

[01:11:11] I finally meet somebody that's good for me.

[01:11:13] The care's about me.

[01:11:14] And it's this bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch.

[01:11:17] From everybody I fucking know.

[01:11:18] I love Pepperan.

[01:11:39] That's good.

[01:11:40] That's the good shit right there.

[01:11:45] Yeah, I wish I knew more about Pepperan than we've done.

[01:11:47] I don't know anything.

[01:11:49] I'll weave those references.

[01:11:52] Carmel is like, Tony, what the hell is this?

[01:11:55] Some Velcro was something.

[01:11:57] Tony, it looks like red pews.

[01:12:00] New ones too, Tony.

[01:12:02] Are you fucking another child again?

[01:12:04] You fucking pig.

[01:12:05] New ball pews.

[01:12:11] I just watched the episode of Sopranos

[01:12:13] where Paulie from Rocky comes back.

[01:12:21] That episode ends with Carmel being like,

[01:12:24] Tony, she's younger than Meadow.

[01:12:26] Imagine if someone with your age was doing this to Meadow.

[01:12:28] And then he's looking at Meadow,

[01:12:30] watching her eat dinner or something.

[01:12:34] And it finally clicks with him.

[01:12:36] And then the episode ends with him quietly murdering Pepperan.

[01:12:40] Descending somebody to shoot Pepperan in the back of the head.

[01:12:43] Yeah, hiring black guys so they couldn't trace it back to them.

[01:12:46] Hiring black guys to kill Pepperan.

[01:12:48] Yeah, well, he's at the strip club.

[01:12:54] Yeah.

[01:12:54] How does Pepperan in?

[01:12:56] Oh, right.

[01:12:56] They cross over with the Sopranos.

[01:12:59] Is it dark?

[01:13:00] They can hire a bomber whole house.

[01:13:05] Where they fucking, they pretend her house got turned into a trap

[01:13:08] and have black guys kill Pepperan.

[01:13:11] She was selling ecstasy.

[01:13:12] Yeah.

[01:13:12] Yeah.

[01:13:13] She was in a project selling ecstasy.

[01:13:16] She got involved with drugs.

[01:13:17] AJ, something going wrong with you?

[01:13:19] Yeah.

[01:13:20] One of the girls in my school was murdered.

[01:13:24] There's only a fucking business, AJ.

[01:13:26] What's you worried about school?

[01:13:28] Something that's good for you.

[01:13:29] Sports.

[01:13:30] Oh, there's fucking morose shit.

[01:13:31] Get out of your fucking head.

[01:13:36] I had to break things off with that woman

[01:13:40] based on your advice.

[01:13:41] You know, I just did what you said.

[01:13:44] Tony, did you do what I say?

[01:13:45] Or did you murder an old child?

[01:13:48] Or did you?

[01:13:49] I mean, did you hire black guys to murder a child?

[01:13:53] Again, I don't want to pry, but did you have another child murdered?

[01:13:59] To realize this pedophilia is wrong.

[01:14:05] Holy fucking question.

[01:14:08] We're fucking done.

[01:14:09] We're fucking done, you bitch.

[01:14:20] Damn, why did they have to rape Melphy in that show, man?

[01:14:24] She's kind of-

[01:14:24] No, those are good episodes.

[01:14:26] Those are great episodes.

[01:14:29] She goes back to work.

[01:14:31] What's it called?

[01:14:31] Employee of the Month?

[01:14:33] I think it was just one episode.

[01:14:36] And then she was kind of-

[01:14:37] I don't know if she was fully back to normal the next one, but-

[01:14:40] What it teaches you is that women are incredibly resilient and can get over trauma.

[01:14:47] Well, I'm sure.

[01:14:49] What's up?

[01:14:49] I think it's time to go.

[01:14:51] Okay.

[01:14:52] Folks, it's on me this time.

[01:14:54] I'm the one rapping it up there.

[01:14:55] I think it has to go.

[01:14:57] We-

[01:14:57] Now let's be honest.

[01:14:58] This has been pretty terrible.

[01:15:00] Yeah, it's been a-

[01:15:01] No, no, no.

[01:15:02] There's a pran as pepper in.

[01:15:03] I think you saved the whole thing.

[01:15:04] A pran.

[01:15:06] Pepperan being gay and having sex with the men.

[01:15:09] All right, good night.

[01:15:10] All right, come see us, bye.