Cum Town | Regular | 06/20/2019
[00:00:27] Well, you just responded to me though bitch
[00:00:30] Dude hey Adam Nick's fucking gay, but I know you're saying saying something, but I can't see your lips
[00:00:35] I know you're saying if you can't see you if you're not covering your lips
[00:00:41] If you're if you're if you're dig is little talk
[00:00:46] If you did if you dig his little talk ah
[00:00:52] It sounds a little loud on is stop talking because I can't he's covering his lips
[00:00:57] It worked he did he talked stop talking at him. He knows I'm talking
[00:01:01] I can hear I have the most of stop talking here weird because I was just imagining a situation
[00:01:07] Hypothetically what say something like if you talk then you're dick is gay
[00:01:10] And then they they follow or that you dick is small no, then you follow the guy who's not talk bike by continuing to speak
[00:01:17] No, so that would imply the guy who says it is exempt. Oh
[00:01:26] It sounds what what is wrong with it sounds pretty loud to me. It's not loud. Okay, then we're fine
[00:01:31] Look at the look at the levels on here. Okay, so we don't need to get right in between negative guy 18 the guy is
[00:01:36] Exhaled okay, all right, and you're also not covering your lips anymore. So I can read I can't hear anything
[00:01:42] So I don't even know why I'm listening to the headphones. I
[00:01:48] Don't have any ability to hearing of this stuff. I
[00:01:52] Lost my hearing in Iraq. Oh really? Yeah, listening to the screams you're on vacation the children. I was
[00:02:00] Decimating whoa, that was your soldier. I was a I went on private
[00:02:05] I said that I'm back a lot of people don't know this but the Vatican also send people if they wanted to go to an
[00:02:12] Armor shit. Yeah with swords right of horses and guns
[00:02:20] Nazis weren't weren't gone fearing folk
[00:02:23] Nazis were atheists. I thought the Nazis were trying to find modern atheism was found no I'm talking about Indiana Jones
[00:02:30] Like the like most of the Holocaust was essentially a sort of like a debate me kind of thing
[00:02:36] Yeah, what do you mean a debate so the Jews weren't able to with logic wins so they were sent to the camps?
[00:02:42] Yeah, okay, that's if you look at the Holocaust
[00:02:46] Jews have ever lost and that's why Ben Shapiro has gotten become the best debater is a natural survivor
[00:02:52] Man, it's funny to see that like the end of him
[00:02:55] Is it I mean he's still what's the end of it? He'll be around forever
[00:02:58] No, cuz he doesn't go the hell on the BBC that British guy's not gonna go more scrutiny
[00:03:03] And they said well people are pulling all this shit from his show where he's like
[00:03:07] You know the thing about Western culture versus like Muslim culture or whatever that was
[00:03:13] But he also recently said and I'd have to look it up again
[00:03:16] But that he should be able to have sex with a six-year-old if he wants to oh really I
[00:03:23] Yeah, I that was the gist did he write it in a column
[00:03:26] I can't be sure but someone he did someone who's usually reliable has told me that so it's close to the ground
[00:03:33] Yes, yes, and in fact, I don't even know if it's about Ben Shapiro a certain right-wing
[00:03:42] Said Rabbi Schmool has had sex with millions of children
[00:03:47] So Ben Shapiro or another right wing Jew well that was someone who just wears a little hat
[00:03:52] Oh, yeah, you know that it really opens up to
[00:03:58] That's all the blind item said I actually didn't say any of this myself I read it on a blind a certain blind item
[00:04:09] Yeah, well legally speaking we can't verify that speaking that is what it said and yes
[00:04:16] You know off the record a certain verify certain famous blind item website
[00:04:22] So I'm gonna just start a blind item website about blind items and that's how you get around you can just say it's like
[00:04:27] You know a certain blind and not to be named blind item website. It's pretty popular
[00:04:34] definitively stated the John Voigt fuck the three-year-old
[00:04:39] And then John Voigt can't get mad cuz it's like no I read it. I read it. I read it. I read it
[00:04:44] He's a list the link and I lost it. Yeah, I don't remember. I lost the link. I read it somewhere
[00:04:48] Who buy you being fucked up about this I didn't even say you did it. I said they some I said I read that someone said it
[00:04:54] Yeah, you're being fucking rude John Voigt. Yeah, sorry you fuck is
[00:05:00] Yeah, you got a problem with that take it to court. Let's see if you can find a single judge in this country
[00:05:08] Oh anywhere except to the recycling bin on the hard drive on the desktop
[00:05:13] Drop a drag and drop drag and drop email him guess we're sending up being dragged and dropped into the trash
[00:05:19] She's downloading the attachment. Mm-hmm. And then only to put it in the trash
[00:05:23] Not even opening it. He's not over. Oh, what's that? I'm actually being sued for a libel. Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh
[00:05:30] Going to jail. Oh I have to produce a million dollars. I'm going to jail
[00:05:39] Oh, it's just being passive aggressive with
[00:05:43] So I'm going to jail now. Oh, okay. Oh cool. Yeah, wow
[00:06:00] We are here by the way boys and girls in Mon Real
[00:06:03] Beautiful mohra Quebec Quebec getting our penis is absolutely licked and sucked off by the local population
[00:06:12] The indigenous Montreales mm-hmm, which is French a lot of people don't know this were French started and then this was the first France
[00:06:19] There's a friend and then they went over to Euro
[00:06:21] Vacation except when in in World War II when the Nazis conquered Paris and started Vichy France
[00:06:33] Absolutely correct and they actually were never conquered so it's still kind of an occupied bustling Nazi
[00:06:38] It's like a French French spin on the old Nazi ways that you know and love they use more butter in their cooking
[00:06:45] Exactly pretty much the only there in there in there
[00:06:49] Let's you know what let's plug our shows up top. We are the day you're hearing this Wednesday
[00:06:53] Do you can you pull it up on your phone my phone is charging? Yes?
[00:06:56] We're at the Mon Wednesday the 19th with the Rialto theater here at the Rialto theater goes up on Wednesday
[00:07:02] That's what I'm saying. Yeah, so tonight. We're at the Rialto theater and then Montreal
[00:07:07] So please come see us and then we are going to where's next Ottawa
[00:07:11] Ontario the capital of Canada where I will be bare knuckle brawling the Prime Minister Justin Trudeau
[00:07:17] Right we're doing yeah, we're gonna do an oiled Greco-Roman style fight
[00:07:26] June 21st in Ottawa at Center Point Theater
[00:07:30] The 23rd Vancouver sold out a yuk yuk's the 20 we're having the they're still money
[00:07:34] We added a Monday show but the 24th the next night. They are still tickets available 24th
[00:07:40] Vancouver going fast and they're going fast and it's the probably that one's gonna sell out as well and then an Edmonton the
[00:07:46] At we're gonna be performing on the 26th at the starlight
[00:07:50] Which I hear is fabulous. That's right the Dallas of Canada
[00:07:55] So please get your fucking tickets. We haven't really promoted as well as we should yeah
[00:07:59] We don't want to lose money going to Canada. Yeah, we've been spending a lot of money
[00:08:03] My poutine habit is out of control. Yeah, I'm spending I spent all the earnings from Toronto
[00:08:08] I bought a horse and they've been riding around everywhere riding around on a Clyde's
[00:08:13] And I've just gotten a baby. I've gotten addicted to new rule style massage
[00:08:19] Which is a I guess an Eastern style, but it's very popular here in Canada new room new room bill Mar kind of thing
[00:08:36] Greater film are was a mentally retarded man
[00:08:39] Hey, yeah, yeah, he is close. Huh? Yeah, I feel more bill bill more
[00:08:46] Phil Marward yeah the Mar word with Bill more. Oh
[00:08:51] That would be hold on. I got a I'm afraid I have to fart but I'm
[00:08:55] Yeah, it's just air I have I'm gonna be
[00:08:59] Sitting on a fucking steaming hot shoulda Rene for this the entirety of this episode, but I'm a professional I can do it
[00:09:06] Yeah, let's stick it up. Thanks, man. Uh one last plug before we really get pumping
[00:09:11] I have started a weekly show at the stand comedy club. Whoo first one is first Tuesday in July fat Tuesday's
[00:09:18] Every Tuesday. I'll be hosting with my buddy is fat Tuesday. I chose to call it. Oh, okay. You chose the name
[00:09:25] What if you lose weight? It's still fat Tuesday. All right
[00:09:31] I didn't know that are you you're hosting as PR saying
[00:09:36] Pierre no, it's gonna be awesome stand up show these motherfuckers will probably pop through do some spots here and there whenever if Nick
[00:09:46] Commencing on July 8th. We're starting back up again
[00:09:49] We were off for this month because of travel and then certain other complications, but we're back be gay
[00:09:55] We're back every Monday. So there's actually four Mondays in July
[00:09:59] So it'll be the 8th 15th 22nd and 29. Oh, so many chances
[00:10:03] So many chances to see the boys so yeah come out and do and a person of color and a woman
[00:10:09] Which we have booked on every single show because we because we have a quota and we feel like we have to but also because they're very talented
[00:10:16] And we'd like to showcase new voices. Mm-hmm. No, that's right. We we tried to book white men
[00:10:23] Yes, that's what we try to do. Yes, because normally all the spots would be going to
[00:10:31] He's got a standing residency every funny mom
[00:10:34] This is staying there and is like loose fitting coal sure
[00:10:39] So what do you guys like faggot yourself?
[00:10:44] 50 years ago if you try to have gay sex in this town that beat you to think that's your fucking head
[00:10:49] And they fucking throw a rock so quickly through your fucking head that we turn into lava while it was cooking in your brain
[00:10:57] You have fucking Dante's Pete coming out of the back of your head popped open like a fucking zit
[00:11:02] They tie your ankles to the back of a pickup truck whip you around the cow
[00:11:15] What is that too hot for you? Oh, that's too much Nick where your fans we kept your
[00:11:30] No, we're huge fans. He was who've been fans forever. Mm-hmm. I watch this new special
[00:11:36] I never tell you which black lives matter. You ever notice that it's not the ones at each one. They're killing each other. Nobody cares
[00:11:42] About that. I guess those ones don't matter. I think that's my I think you might have done that probably
[00:11:50] Literally not hard to write that entire special. No, actually, I don't I don't fucking mostly that would have been cold from like, you know
[00:11:57] Well, he's like yeah, you know like you know like Marcy something or other, you know, and it's just like she's real hot
[00:12:04] Right and it's like it's just like a daytime Fox business channel anchor
[00:12:10] You know, it's just like it's so you just probably watches like you just watch this world. Yeah. Yeah, it's just Fox has taken over his life
[00:12:18] Not very talented comedian my nut. Yeah, thankfully my parents are dumb immigrants. They don't really have
[00:12:25] Political paint other than you know, we should probably help poor people like that. Yeah, well my my parents are
[00:12:33] Dumb immigrants, but they watch mad out every night my dad yells at the television about how she was mad out people
[00:12:38] She was beautiful before she cut all her hair off and started dressing that way
[00:12:45] Well, yeah for the most part. I mean, he's like a democrat, but like yeah like a Maryland
[00:12:49] But well, yeah, I mean no because he was like saying like like I know he like likes
[00:12:54] Jeb Bush, but he's very vague. I don't even think he voted
[00:13:06] Yeah, that guy seems like he wouldn't dominate me in conversation
[00:13:10] He'd really listen. Yeah, I'm like everyone else in my life
[00:13:15] Oh, fuck dude. My thighs are burning up me and Nick took up the moi all
[00:13:21] The royal mountain. Yeah, we had to wear condoms the whole time on our yeah, my dick was chafing
[00:13:27] Yeah, you have to put your ears a little get around getting chafed you put a stick in balls and condoms
[00:13:33] Yeah, and you walk around that you put a separate condom on the balls. No, I'm on the balls. Well, you either way
[00:13:38] Well, it sounds like so I've just owned himself. No, I bought bigger condoms
[00:13:43] Oh, you bought bigger condoms that fit over my ear. Well, first of all my soft dick
[00:13:49] Yes, it's not as big as my hard dick. So sure there's extra room. Oh, he owned himself again
[00:13:55] Your soft is not as hard as your shirt. I don't know Nick
[00:13:58] But Nick was he you didn't even understand was Nick was hard the whole time
[00:14:14] Oh, yeah, we're post ad. Yeah, we're not doing ads for a while. We're too hot for TV
[00:14:22] I gotta say we had a pretty good loss. Honestly. It was way too long of a run
[00:14:29] Especially with blue chew, which is actual medication your owed a lot of money. That's true by German companies
[00:14:36] That have offshore accounts that I only made deals with because they expressed to me that they've been around since the 30s
[00:14:49] Oh fuck, but yeah, we're I'm loving Canada boys. I don't know about you. I really like Montreal
[00:14:54] I thought I was gonna hate all the French shit taking pictures of flowers and running a boat on a lake
[00:15:05] All right, well, I was decided to bring your girlfriend and go do your own thing again. We went to a spot
[00:15:19] We infiltrated a field trip. We're pretending to ask women to take our pictures and then ask if they can have sex with us
[00:15:27] I was not as to the extent of actually asking some women to take their pictures
[00:15:31] We did ask a couple doing a bit where it would be funny if you did that as a pretext for trying to have sex with them
[00:15:37] You could do that and then a man asked us to take his picture
[00:15:44] You beat him up. Yeah, we threw him in the lake
[00:15:50] Well, I was not kissing today. You know the rules about pda my relationship
[00:15:55] That we're not allowed to kiss each other only
[00:15:58] Behind multiple closed doors. It's bad for the career. We saw some
[00:16:04] Create the illusion that you're single some wild
[00:16:08] Saw some wild sheriffs. Yeah, Nick Nick downloaded and I got an app that lets you identify flowers
[00:16:13] He was oh, that's a good idea. He was taking pics like it's a pokey decks
[00:16:16] Yeah, I just went around collecting flowers. I would I think when I get older. I would I want to know what all the birds are too
[00:16:22] Nick was saying. Yeah, I'm already in you said that earlier. So the bond society stuff. You know, I've always like I
[00:16:28] I would love to I always thought bird watching would be cool
[00:16:30] I just have terrible vision and I don't want to buy binoculars. You refuse to wear your glasses
[00:16:35] I know oh really you don't have context in no he just takes his class to squint. I just yeah
[00:16:39] I just haven't been wearing I've been able to see anything he believes that the eyes have the ability to regenerate
[00:16:46] Never have I said that he thinks with his own
[00:16:50] Actually, they said that you're saying that if you just try hard enough your eyes. It's all about belief
[00:16:55] It's not what I said. It's the power of the mind. I'm not the living so it doesn't matter if I can't read
[00:17:01] I think you said more everything here is in French. There's no reason to be yeah, you don't know it's actually
[00:17:08] I don't know if you're in French. Yeah, that's true. That is true
[00:17:11] It is fucked up that shit here is in French. Yeah, I don't like it. I like it actually
[00:17:16] Wow, you know me fish. What's your gym? I'm a european
[00:17:20] That's what your German that's another character you missed out on that one. Oh black guy that does
[00:17:25] Let me let me let me get you German pal. It was your mappelle bitch. I'm sorry
[00:17:35] Yep, that guy's good. We also got a Baltimore guy
[00:17:39] It's his first time he's excuse me. It's my first time in Canada. We all got why y'all keep your penis bandaids
[00:17:50] My dad's in family jail. I can't call him
[00:17:52] I can't go in for help on my biggest my dad. Oh my dick is red hot
[00:17:56] My dad was 37 million dollars in child support for me a grown 40-year-old man also
[00:18:11] I ain't never been to Canada before and I need penis bandaid
[00:18:15] No, you're taking me to the regular bandaid regular. I want the ones for your penis special
[00:18:21] I'm also there a special for your penis caught in my zipper because I was where I did not realize the pants were French
[00:18:32] Yeah, dude, that's the kind of stuff you miss out on when you're just having
[00:18:35] Personal time and listen we're gonna be here infiltrating. We're gonna be together
[00:18:40] Be pretending to be elementary school kids for a school for mostly indian and chinese students
[00:18:45] That's also probably a magnet school. Yeah, probably. I think about it
[00:18:48] Well, that's the other thing that is that was cool about toronto how like
[00:18:51] Straight up multicultural that shit was it felt like
[00:18:55] What would happen in like detroit or felt like the sims? I don't know. I feel like if white knight in toronto
[00:19:01] If white boy hardened by the new streets. Yeah, everyone's complimenting us
[00:19:06] You were right. Yeah, people were like you guys are beautiful except for this one gentleman in toronto may he
[00:19:12] Remain unnamed also. I never learned his name. I'm sure it's some chinese type of name though
[00:19:20] Said said you guys are pussies which no one heard but you and then me and no that guy did no
[00:19:25] He didn't say you guys are used to what no, he said there's a drunk
[00:19:29] I was a street that guy called us pussies. No, I didn't say that off
[00:19:33] And then while you walked away and then we said did he really say that and you're like, I don't know
[00:19:38] No, that is not what he said. He said break it down. What happened?
[00:19:40] It was a drunk guy and he turned to us and he said you guys
[00:19:44] Screwed across the street and then you everyone's like no and then he turned away and as he turned away. He said
[00:19:53] He's like because you guys are a bunch of fucking pussies you probably should
[00:19:58] And then I walked back to you guys. I was like he called us pussies
[00:20:02] And then we were like and then fuck did you say? Yeah, we told him to fuck off while you walk away
[00:20:08] Funny how quickly he folded. No, it was like you're being a fucking asshole. Dude. He's like, oh, sorry
[00:20:18] That guy was chill actually I got a show but yes, I didn't run away. He's got no you ran
[00:20:25] I wanted to distract the police officer and not get his attention those are separate
[00:20:36] Well, you know how like you call ambulances is what's
[00:20:48] Okay, we're gonna have to take you to the hospital
[00:20:52] It's just a place to hide out how do black teens coming
[00:20:55] It says have your Jewish. I don't want to be made fun of quick up in the Jewish ambulance. That's what Adam did
[00:21:02] So Adam called one of those from Brooklyn
[00:21:06] I called I called one of those Brooklyn Jewish ambulances
[00:21:10] No, but anyway, I feel like that the one gentleman
[00:21:13] I saw one they had it in Brooklyn the other day the asian american ambulance. I'm like that sounds like a bad idea
[00:21:19] Yeah, you know as long as that's not so just driving the thing, you know what I'm saying. Nick the pylo here always
[00:21:28] You know what I'd love to see is one of those
[00:21:31] Asian american ambulances showing up to the black lives matter protest driving through all of them
[00:21:38] We'll make Charlottesville look like a fender bend
[00:21:43] You know I'm saying and no one's gonna call that terrorism right no one will call it an Asian guy everybody will say hey, that's great
[00:21:49] That's multicultural. Yeah, they're gonna say that's we need a nation american ambulance
[00:21:54] She's actually driving well and those people shouldn't have gotten in his way while they were walking the sidewalk my dear own business
[00:22:01] Um, no this just nicked the paulo vote for even the mucin x guy. Yeah, what are his politics? I bet you he really loved
[00:22:09] I bet you like Trump. Yeah, probably he said it in his special
[00:22:15] Um and he loves you know days time. It's all part of that. Shake it up. Yeah. I just want someone that'll shake the whole shit
[00:22:27] Um no, but we were story adam keeps trying to tell thank you stavros
[00:22:32] If maybe if you tell it is that we after our show which by the way, thank you everyone who came to the fucking
[00:22:37] It's just we you we go through the story work through you take a little bit out here
[00:22:41] You riff on it and then you go back to the story, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, right?
[00:22:45] That's how it works and it was it was it's don't take it personal. No, it doesn't I'm not taking a person
[00:22:50] It works one day to pick a fight with a guy taking a person
[00:22:53] I didn't make you pick a fight with a guy that guy did call his pussy
[00:22:56] No one heard it but you I told you not even that like we wanted to fight him
[00:22:59] I was like that was really funny with that guy said as alpha as too thoroughbred alpha man
[00:23:04] I wasn't trying to fight the guy. I thought I was like look at this debilitated drunk guy
[00:23:08] That was very funny what he just said to us and you know what to share with you
[00:23:11] I didn't want to start a fight or anything like that
[00:23:13] That is a perfect example of kind of a microcosm of what
[00:23:17] Our dynamics to oh, yeah, the parentheses boys
[00:23:22] Yeah, we're just trying to make you laugh. We're not trying to you got to get some race wars
[00:23:26] Yeah, you got two young bulls here. You know, we're heated because I got no fight with that Chinese guy
[00:23:30] Just got to fight with a Chinese man at a restaurant. We're ready. We're am
[00:23:35] We're gonna fuck that drunk guy up. We're gonna call him. We're gonna call him a bitch
[00:23:38] I don't care how I fuck it. I am. I did not turn
[00:23:41] I did not turn away from that Chinese that old Chinese man at the restaurant
[00:23:44] Okay, I did call him a Nazi and I did tell him that he should call the police
[00:23:49] That is a customer service situation where you were protected by the role of the
[00:23:54] That is not true. That is not true. He's trying to dispute
[00:24:02] Because now it's not making sense. Let's do the story
[00:24:05] We go we have a great show. Thank you. Everyone who came out to the winter
[00:24:08] It was fucking wild. Honestly one of the probably one of the best shows of my life
[00:24:12] I mean the best the most beautiful theater. We the three of us will probably ever the opera was there the week before us
[00:24:19] I love being on the road. Yeah, I've had a lot of fun. I'm not writing any material phone in the standup
[00:24:25] No, you did I like that David Cronenberg God Jordan not writing any material phone in the standup
[00:24:30] Yeah, that was good phone it in the live show phone in the podcast. Yeah taking a hike
[00:24:35] Yeah, having the best part is hanging out. I love it. Just I pulled I there was a
[00:24:40] Big aunt in my hair earlier. It was like this is great. I love it. I love being covered in bugs
[00:24:47] I washed I washed my face in me now. I'm honest. You're losing me. I don't know about this bugs in the hair
[00:24:52] Anyway, so we're like great. We work up an appetite. We're going to Toronto's famed Chinatown for for a nice fucking meal
[00:24:59] One of the most famous Chinatowns there is um and we go we show up and the way I guess Toronto does shit
[00:25:05] Maybe it's just Asian restaurants. It's just that Chinese no no we went to the phone place
[00:25:09] It was like that too. So maybe it's the Asian restaurant for Toronto. Did I go? No, you were at the airport Nick mr
[00:25:15] Miss the flight from JFK. This is just a catch up anyway
[00:25:19] So we're sitting down. I think I didn't miss the flight. They wouldn't let me they wouldn't let him on because he didn't have if he didn't have adequate passport
[00:25:24] Anyway, I went home and got my passport came back made the flight and they still wouldn't let me on that is true
[00:25:31] Um anyway, we're sitting down. They give you a little piece of paper to write down what you want
[00:25:36] Nick immediately starts writing down Chinese
[00:25:43] Because you write down what you want and it's it's that's how they write
[00:25:46] Numbers numbers. There's numbers very clearly just write down the number
[00:25:51] Anyway, they're writing down Chinese calligraphy. I want to make it easier for them
[00:25:55] And then you mess me up. How do you know if it's the right symbol? There could be a little don't minor don't engage
[00:26:01] I literally do know that that is the way to write first of all. I was doing a good job copying it also
[00:26:11] The characters themselves only have like certain strokes anyway, you dumb bitch. It was too big anyway
[00:26:16] Nick took out a giant paintbrush. I'm starting to paint the Chinese good
[00:26:21] You were writing in like anyway, Nick takes up half the fucking paper writing one order of something beef with brock
[00:26:27] So he did the collab before it. We're like, no you dumb bitch. We have to order over here. What are you doing?
[00:26:33] All right, fuck it. We'll just get a new paper
[00:26:35] Well, you kind of bullied me into it and then I was writing fake Chinese after that
[00:26:39] Well, no, you wrote over the whole thing with one item. No, it was it was it doesn't matter
[00:26:44] We all decided we all wasn't Nick's fault. We were just doing it. You're excited. Yeah, I was
[00:26:52] Writing down beef with okay fine and everyone said that's not how you're supposed to do it
[00:26:57] And then I'm just doing it and then I did fake Chinese
[00:27:14] Okay, this is fucking retarded. We're not we can't order food on this thing
[00:27:18] We'll just ask the guy for you and Nick balls it up puts a fucking whatever next to him throws on the floors
[00:27:25] Until I think it's a chair next to him the so we get we wave the order the waiter down
[00:27:29] We're like hey man. Can we get another one of those we you know, we wrote on whatever
[00:27:32] We don't even say anything. Can we just grab another one? He's like we want to order and we're all hungry
[00:27:38] Where's the other one and we're like uh, we just threw it away man
[00:27:41] We wrote on and I I just just took an interject because I'm not telling the story and now I could be an interject voice
[00:27:47] I really admire the fact that you are not doing the accent. I think it's very I think it's very respectful. Thank you
[00:27:53] Um, it didn't sound like this. No, these let me say let me just say the voice is
[00:27:58] Exactly what you're thinking. Yes, it was not doing it didn't sound like soft speaking in a respectful American
[00:28:04] Theater of the mind allow yourself to do the racist Chinese accent
[00:28:09] Um, so he's like where's the other one or like we don't know. Do whatever. Can we have another one? He's like no
[00:28:19] You got you got you got you got you got sure what I'm fucking easy on
[00:28:23] Like it's it's visible by the way. I could have seen it. I don't know if the Chinese guy saw it
[00:28:27] He didn't see it was next to Nick on the on the city went outside and spoke to cigarettes
[00:28:31] Yes, so the guy is drilling Nick now instead of just giving him the thing
[00:28:35] Some of these like no, he already drew on and he has it he drew on it already
[00:28:43] Obviously the guy is like once this piece of paper. I'm not giving it to
[00:28:51] We had it right there and listen once you decided I saw what was happening. Yeah, you were not giving it
[00:29:01] We were backing you back. You are not gonna side with a Chinese guy sure but
[00:29:07] Incredibly rude having said and he was very rude having said that would have been very easy to hand him the bald up piece of paper
[00:29:13] But we didn't that's fine. Well, they're okay
[00:29:22] Anyway, Nick's locked in it's he's like I threw it away. I want to smoke a cigarette
[00:29:25] I'm fucking threw it away. Yeah, and but and he's whatever. It's a fucking argument doesn't even happen
[00:29:30] But we're locked in now now this Chinese guy's so rude that even though we don't we just said give us another
[00:29:35] You're telling me this just never happened before and he's like no no
[00:29:45] Oh by who who's giving us the police so Adam calls him an ass a Nazi
[00:29:51] Uh, and then I'm like all right. Well, we're not fucking eating here man
[00:29:56] Go save no he's gonna go outside and find it and I'm like all right and I love so it grabs it from the chair next to him
[00:30:02] Very well good sleight of hand. I didn't see it at all. David Blaine s and he and we're like all right motherfucker
[00:30:07] We're not fucking and we're making a scene at this restaurant
[00:30:12] It's like a lemon at night. We're like are you fucking kidding me? We're you're not gonna let us eat here
[00:30:17] We're going to he's like no. I'm like all right. Well fuck you. We're not eating here
[00:30:21] Shouting at this man. He's shouting Chinese eli at us loudest but and we just leave and
[00:30:32] Anyways, anyways damn now I want Chinese. Mm-hmm. I wonder if they got good Chinese and mom morale. Should I get poutine?
[00:30:42] We had it the first night. I don't think it's that good
[00:30:46] I'm not a gravy guy. I will say this. This is a controversial take damn. I'm not a gravy guy
[00:30:52] I'm a sauce guy generally. I like aiolis. You like a red sauce? I do like a red sauce
[00:30:57] I like anything you can dip shit in but my problem with fucking gravy. It's over satch. You know what it is
[00:31:07] Indiscriminately have it on the fucking side. Mm-hmm. I don't want my shit getting mushy. I love a crisp fry
[00:31:15] When the fuck I'm I'm saturating my fries. Mm-hmm. Don't come that come with my cap. Mm-hmm. Thank you
[00:31:21] I'm the captain of this fucking ship of this chip ship damn anyway anyway
[00:31:31] Steel items coffee. Well, there you go. Steel my coffee
[00:31:35] Yeah, maybe I'll go fucking sit at the bar at the restaurant. Yeah, then Adam's eating at
[00:31:40] Well, let's if you want to wait for me to go to the gym then afterwards we can go get our own
[00:31:44] A special dinner some both some both some pussy both
[00:31:51] Some pussy both. Yeah, I'll wait for you at the strip clubs here. You're allowed to eat the strippers pussy
[00:31:58] Yes, it's uh one of the few things you're allowed to do
[00:32:02] They're fully clothed. They're wearing a leotard with their pussy cut out and you're allowed to get five licks per
[00:32:09] Yeah, the yeah, they instead of topless their bottom list
[00:32:16] That's the reotard retarded person skin
[00:32:20] Where that's a wrestling practice. No and people were like what the flop. No
[00:32:27] I killed and skinned the mentally retarded person. Okay took a left turn but I like it's very creative
[00:32:40] Misunderstand it and then they just yeah have a an Olympic weightlifting team
[00:32:51] Wouldn't it just be the article of clothing? Why would it be retarded people? I don't know it didn't really make sense
[00:32:57] It felt sort of like a child like logic there dream logic. Yeah dream logic. Yeah
[00:33:06] Sock on my nose. Damn. What a nice afternoon. I know brother. We're really nice. We've been planning a fishing trip
[00:33:12] We're back to New York. I don't know. Where should we go? I figure I want to go to Alaska. No, I'm going to salmon
[00:33:19] Man something for the weekend my dad Alaska
[00:33:23] I want to go to Alaska to become a Sam. Oh, you want to go on the weekend? We're talking about driving to like finger lakes region. Yeah
[00:33:29] Maybe find that little fucking I went fishing last summer in Cape Cod is really nice
[00:33:34] Up in the finger lakes and fucking go. Yeah finger lakes. That would be nice. Yeah finger. Fuck go to
[00:33:39] finger lakes or something. Mm-hmm. Or yeah, no, we can probably find some weird long island
[00:33:44] We probably find some weird little fucking theater in Ithaca
[00:33:48] Like probably just finance the just completely phone it and finance the weekend. Yeah
[00:33:53] Just start doing community theater like a touring community theater. That'd be nice
[00:33:58] We were thinking about writing our Shakespeare and play. You missed a lot, man
[00:34:00] You missed so much. It was a business trip. It was today. Did you write off all the ideas? I mean, I write off things anyways, of course
[00:34:07] Everything gets written off. Who are the who are main Shakespearean characters?
[00:34:11] I go to I go to a clothing store and I buy sandals and I write it off because I'm using them to make fun of endings
[00:34:16] Okay, you're wearing them every time he does the voice he puts them on
[00:34:22] I don't know. Push soccer. Yeah, it's not crazy. Yeah, it's not crazy. Push it. Push it. Push. Yeah
[00:34:29] The criteria, you know how it goes. Yeah, you know what hanging out sounds like. I know I'm the vibe
[00:34:37] Listen, we got three more cities. No, G. Up running up a hill to ask a woman to take your picture. Excuse me
[00:34:46] Just four four four minutes out of your way
[00:34:53] Did you take my French picture together?
[00:34:56] We need your you take what do you do? What after the picture?
[00:35:00] Have you been to a restaurant? You've been to a restaurant. You ever go to a place that got a drink?
[00:35:09] Nice, what's your gema pal? What's your gema pal? Oh, you're from you're from French, Canada
[00:35:16] That's cool. How old you oh six six six. So you're still in high school or
[00:35:23] That's crazy. I'm on a class trip. I'm on it. I'm here. I'm in an elementary school actually
[00:35:27] My elementary school here is doing breast cancer research
[00:35:31] We're out funding breast cancer and we wanted to actually see your breath
[00:35:39] That makes sense. Yeah, trying to trick a I was talking to my daughter
[00:35:45] Sir, I'm a Navy SEAL captain in the air force
[00:35:49] And I do not have time for this line of questioning good day. I'm here. I'm I have diplomatic
[00:35:54] I have diplomatic immunity. I can have as much sex with under
[00:36:01] And I'm also on elementary school. I will be using my diplomatic
[00:36:04] You gotta problem with it. You could take it up with the principal
[00:36:12] I am just following orders from my elementary school
[00:36:16] Yeah, we also saw an elementary school wearing pink shirts. Yeah
[00:36:24] Boys even the boys too, huh the boys and girls. Damn. That's funny. Dude. Do you you should have roasted those guys?
[00:36:31] We did fucking losers. We're like nice pink. What do you fucking big girl? You fucking piece of shit
[00:36:40] And then we went to the teacher. We were like, what's up? You ever have a drink? You ever go to your
[00:36:50] You ever felt the con when you're pussy? What about the guys?
[00:36:58] I'm also in your class. I'm in the class
[00:37:01] I'm one of your students. Come on, bitch. You remember me. You remember me, but it's because it's summer. I've had a gross price
[00:37:10] And I need you to remember when you taught health class. No, I you did I you might not remember
[00:37:16] But it was one of the days we did health and you said that you promised us we could have sex with you
[00:37:24] And here I am the kids are seven so that wasn't a big deal for them, but you made that promise
[00:37:35] I'm off to the world the little league world series tomorrow
[00:37:38] I went into the bathroom after you use it and I smelled the seat and I can tell that you're ovulating so
[00:37:46] I will get you pregnant because my sperm is fresh as I'm tan as a child as a child fresh sperm
[00:37:53] Who knows how to make a baby better than a baby?
[00:37:58] Ma'am ma'am ma'am, please. I'm in the air force ma'am
[00:38:02] Please have sex with my son. I come in. Yeah, I'm like, I were really worried about his grades
[00:38:06] He keeps saying if he gets some pussy he'll start studying ma'am
[00:38:10] I don't know how to read and it's the only reason is because I can't stop thinking about having sex
[00:38:16] It's the only way you can learn now ma'am, please have sex with my son and then after but listen as his father
[00:38:21] I should make sure your pussy is up to snuff you have sex with my dad first because I'm scared
[00:38:28] I wanted to watch me have sex with you. I want to see my dad fucking first
[00:38:31] I said I know how to do it. Uh the classic short con
[00:38:42] It's a simple trick you see she's waiting for it. She's waiting for you to come and trick her
[00:38:49] Suck my penis and fuck my ass and let me fuck on your dick because I'm gay
[00:38:53] You put the big bill on the outside and then you put your dick in the middle of the road
[00:38:57] You say listen sweetheart. I got $600 here and I need to hold it in your pussy
[00:39:03] I was raped and that's how you get away with the next thing. Yeah, that's when they call the sting
[00:39:20] Just fucking Paul Newman. I don't know about this cut pulling off a mask and he's like she thought I was her husband
[00:39:37] Hooper. I don't know if you can get away with raping all these women
[00:39:41] All we need is one big last score. All right boys. We're gonna need a couple reshoots on this picture
[00:39:46] And we can get one big last score. Listen. There's a billionaire sir across town
[00:39:52] She's fat as hell and if you fuck her you get all her money
[00:39:58] She's got rubies in her pussy got rubies in her pussy
[00:40:08] Fuck yeah, I got a hot shit arena in the chamber, man. Yeah, I need I need to drink a bunch of water. Yeah, I feel pretty dehydrated
[00:40:21] I have something you can suck along. It won't hydrate me. Well, you don't know what it is
[00:40:25] Won't be that high. Do you know what it is? You're gonna say your penis
[00:40:30] That's not necessarily true. Well, what were you gonna say?
[00:40:33] I don't want to say now because you're being just say it then well, you're being kind of fucking real. Just tell me what you would have said
[00:40:42] Well, can I please have a no because you thought I was gonna say my penis. So I dig into pieces. I'm fucking gay as shit
[00:40:50] Yeah, I can show you my dick I grew a new dick for you
[00:41:23] Sex retirement, you're like only gay guys get HIV
[00:41:26] I'm a girl lady. Damn doctors like sure. That's how it works. You got the cash, right? You got the $300
[00:41:43] $300 is just like women's multivitamins that they give you
[00:41:49] You have a disease dick you get gender reassignment to a pussy you get that pussy reassigned back to the new dick
[00:42:01] That's smart play and after $45,000 spent on you know plastic surgeries
[00:42:11] Would you at age would you become a lady to not have age anymore?
[00:42:14] I was thinking of actually setting up. It's sort of a pyramid scheme sort of a Ponzi scheme. I'm listening
[00:42:19] You set up an SRS place where you sign people up for the surgeries, right?
[00:42:25] But it's an installment plan. Okay, so they but you do guys and girls, right? So you just you pretend I know where you're going
[00:42:33] Yeah, wait, wait, wait, the dicks on file exactly on ice on ice
[00:42:38] And then when the girls come in dicks you sew them on but you've already collected the money from the other guy
[00:42:45] Beautiful float you skim. Yeah, you just the float to invest in other shady businesses
[00:42:51] You know, I love this. Yeah, and here's the thing here's what you're not even thinking about it's the free market
[00:42:57] It's capitalism. Yeah, you get they bid on the nicest cops. They bid on the nicest right so better make is more expensive
[00:43:05] Sick so long garbage to people you're taking one man's trash. That's right and selling it to somebody who can't afford some treasure
[00:43:11] Yeah, you can cut their clits off too. Yeah, probably just Gordon Gekko's speech
[00:43:25] I love it dude. That's just a good I'm racist actor Michael. I'm racist and I'm Michael Douglas
[00:43:37] Is anyone tired of the way the Chinese sneak up on you?
[00:43:45] Well, you're eating while someone's I the one thing I fear most about going to prison is someone making love to my ass
[00:44:03] I'm simply not prepared for it. I'm white collar criminal Michael Douglas
[00:44:08] There's one thing I fear it's going to prison and having my ass made love to
[00:44:13] A fellow white collar criminal gently caressing my ass is a brutish
[00:44:29] Comes into my cell and says do you want to make love not today, please, but it doesn't matter. I'm tired
[00:44:37] Had a bad day here in prison. Oh, man. We watched that fucking
[00:44:41] Uh, we watched the first episode of the black mayor show where it's literally black guys having gay sex
[00:44:50] It was incredible dude. That's one of the most I saw nicked it
[00:44:54] I thought it was a show. I mean too. It was the stupidest thing I've ever I mean it was incredible that in the
[00:45:01] Simon I also in Toronto did watch the Gabriel fluffy Iglesias reality. That was awesome stuff which was
[00:45:10] They were doing wrestling matches fluffy like his fluffy and his crew his crew have a reality
[00:45:16] Which are basically five adult men who have decided that they were going to be
[00:45:21] Completely supported, but I wish if I was making fluffy show if I was making fluffy money
[00:45:27] You better believe I would travel everywhere with eldest and my brothers
[00:45:30] But that's your fluffy crew is like way better
[00:45:32] Yeah, for sure his crew is just some random collection of like one guy that's like a little bit fatter
[00:45:38] Yeah, you know and then a guy that's like here an old man with a handlebar mustache that everyone says is like crazy. Yeah
[00:45:48] I know and then they're just overlapping at every one of fucking fluffy jokes
[00:45:52] You can tell like like you know like fucking sill and and everyone laughing at fucking Tony's jokes
[00:45:57] Oh fuck, but yeah, man that shit was awesome. The black mirror shit was so good
[00:46:02] Yeah, I watched like maybe five minutes of it earlier and I didn't finish it and every like the black mirror thing
[00:46:07] I went through it last night and it's just like there's no point to it. No no
[00:46:11] Is that like what conclusion he's supposed to draw from because it's not even like they're not even gay
[00:46:16] They're only gay one of the guys is a woman in the game
[00:46:18] Yeah, and they fuck any fault he gets fucking as pussy, but he doesn't have so then so that but does anything happen or is it just?
[00:46:25] Well, they keep fucking and one of the guys is married and it like then his wife runs up and and well
[00:46:31] She doesn't find out, but he admits it because
[00:46:33] They they meet up. They meet they're like we gotta figure this out once and for all so they meet up in an alley to kiss
[00:46:43] Like we gotta see are we actually gay or we just gay on PlayStation?
[00:46:48] And then they kiss and they're like well it really feels like a key in peel sketch about black mirror. It lit. That's crazy. Yeah
[00:46:54] Yes, I would love to watch the key in people you know if those if those drag queens and street hustlers at stone wall would have seen that on
[00:47:03] Television they would have cried they would have said we finally made it well
[00:47:07] Then they fist fight because the one the guys the woman who gets fucked and his single
[00:47:12] He's like come on man. I need it. Nothing feels as good
[00:47:15] He gives his speech about how he tried to fuck other guys online and none of them fucking as good
[00:47:20] Do they feel like they're fucking so the guys trans and in play on PlayStation? Yeah, they feel like they're fucking it's like VR
[00:47:27] Oh, okay, so they give the guy gives a speech. He's like no. I have a wife
[00:47:30] Yeah, so presumably sitting there on the couch just nutting in his pants
[00:47:33] Yeah, they never explain. Well, his son is like playing at his prime. He's just around there
[00:47:37] And when you go you just go completely limp when you do it. So it's just like a guy like this. Mm-hmm. It's like real fucking
[00:47:43] Wow. Yeah, that's the way Nick that's how it is
[00:47:45] Um, I just sit there while she's like come on. Yeah, you're like suck it. Yeah, just you do every within
[00:47:56] That's insane. Yeah, it's like real sex you sit there with the controller in your hand
[00:48:01] Try to look around her and continue playing red dimension
[00:48:08] Anyway, so they fight that they start fist fighting and then the cops pull up
[00:48:12] And it would have been hilarious and then they both got police brutality brutality
[00:48:16] No, but it was a black on black crime. Yes, so so they was life matter Nick the paul do those lives matter
[00:48:29] I don't know if this is just the first episode of this show
[00:48:35] I mean look I already thought video games were a fucking bad idea
[00:48:45] But hey listen anyway, thanks for coming to my special anyway, so it ends he explains it to his wife presumably
[00:48:51] I don't know we kind of weren't paying attention but it ends with once a month
[00:48:56] They have gay PlayStation sex. Oh, his wife goes out and gets piped by a real guy. Oh, so they have an arrangement
[00:49:04] So he's a mistress and by the way, they're best friends from my college or whatever. Oh, it's like his friend boy
[00:49:10] It's like you meeting up with like already once a month to have gay PlayStation sex. Well, we do that it's called star do valley
[00:49:17] Yo sex and star do valley. No, I mean we just have a loving gay sexless relationship. We got far
[00:49:22] Yeah, star do valleys atoms ass crack and anus after are you nuts on it? No, you know that I would be the bull top star do valley
[00:49:33] Are you would definitely tarry would be the wife?
[00:49:36] No, he's so loving and no patient. Yeah, but he would still top you he would still top you
[00:49:40] He's what you're probably a bottom. You're just a bottom in almost every matter than him
[00:49:44] I'm always it makes it funnier. Yeah, you would be his like a fucking like sort of femme fatale
[00:49:53] Like you'd be wearing my heels. Yeah, you would be he would be in love with you
[00:49:57] But you would be his like manic pixie he would just
[00:50:01] Yeah, they would just rail you out. I'd be a manic take it out on your ass. Oh, so
[00:50:06] Okay, so I'd be topping from the bottom
[00:50:11] That would count as a top in the bottom because you know like you would just
[00:50:16] Top for a bot from the bottom, which is the most powerful kind of top. No, it is
[00:50:20] If you read the trades you find the gay sex trade
[00:50:34] Instead of inside Amy Schumer. Okay inside Adam Friedland's asshole
[00:50:47] There's a lot of go back to Japan just for more riffing
[00:50:50] We should go to other countries just to make my shit. I don't want to go to Japan
[00:50:53] Yeah, not Japan again, but you know we should go to Africa. No, no
[00:51:00] We can go stay with my grandmother. No, let's not do that. Let's go to Nigeria
[00:51:04] I'm not I cannot go to Nigeria with you man. Why?
[00:51:12] I do want to go to a big ass city. What's the biggest city in Africa? I mean there's probably maybe Cairo
[00:51:19] Okay, or Lagos my beer. Yeah, pretty big
[00:51:23] Um, I want to go there. I want to go to Cairo
[00:51:26] Cairo is huge. I want to go to I love big cities, baby. Mm-hmm
[00:51:30] I want to go to America like anarchy. You know, it sounds crazy
[00:51:33] It sounds racist to me, man. You know, what do you mean race? You think it's anarchy? I think I think anarchy is cool, dude
[00:51:41] Yes, I do. Are you an arco punk? I'm an arco primitivist
[00:51:51] I'm into living off the fat of the land off the grid
[00:51:58] A marauder a human rauder. I'm a midnight marauder
[00:52:03] Um, yeah, we could go what's another big city. We can go to Mexico City. I want to go there for sure
[00:52:08] I went there. I went there two years ago. I don't want to go anymore. Oh, oh, I don't think that's a cool place
[00:52:16] Me and stop are going to Vericruz. Sao Paulo. That's big Rio. We should go to Buenos Aires
[00:52:22] Uh, where's that? Argentina. Argentina. Yeah, get some of that nazi pussy. Yes, dude, and it's primo
[00:52:33] You can do that in Brazil too. No, I want the good shit. Yeah, the most racist pussy in the world
[00:52:38] It's double racist in Argentina. Well, they got away with only you coming them and they only produce twins
[00:52:45] There was a town to get doctors dream. There was a town in Brazil
[00:52:49] I was watching like some like history channel like fake TV show
[00:52:53] Yeah, we were like they had more twins than anywhere else in the world and that's where what's the same way and they think that that's where mengala went
[00:52:59] But it's probably it doesn't sound true. Well pride is ending. What's the next month? Mm-hmm
[00:53:07] That's next so pride was is june. Mm-hmm retard month
[00:53:16] Oh, it's we taught month Puerto Rican. Oh, wow, it's we taught month again. The poor flag is just a bib
[00:53:28] Why are you rolling your eyes at that? I'm not rolling my right, you know, whatever that expression
[00:53:32] It wasn't rolling. I don't think that's too much. No, it's not too much
[00:53:40] Target just says like a whole velcro section
[00:53:44] Whole fucking velcro. I I was born this way. It's like yeah, I know
[00:54:02] Yeah, I don't think anyone thought it was a choice
[00:54:08] Yeah, there are a lot of fakers out there. They are trying to pretend a lot of people
[00:54:12] I think are saying they're autistic now that feels like it's a wave. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
[00:54:18] For sure. Well, I mean, you know, there probably are more autistic people now
[00:54:23] It's a spectrum just the internet makes you autistic. No, just more and more people are socialized solely through text
[00:54:29] It's like obviously they're not gonna develop like you just mean people with bad social skills. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
[00:54:39] I think it's probably not true. Yeah, if I had to guess that there's I don't think they're autistic
[00:54:46] But I think they have bad social skills. Yeah, but that's not autism. No. Yeah, that's what we just said bitch
[00:54:51] I mean like if you have real ought like like if you're on the far end of the spectrum. You can't fucking talk. Yeah
[00:54:59] That's true. Yeah, you want to brag about other stuff? You know, I don't know that I just
[00:55:08] That was great when we saw that statue of seamen balivar and you couldn't help yourself. No, I didn't I didn't say who it was
[00:55:14] I asked and you were frothing at the moment
[00:55:23] Adam it literally was 30 seconds and you just said it you whispered it to me so nik wouldn't hear
[00:55:36] Seaman ball sucky bar Bolivia's named after oh yeah, ball suck via that's where I'm ball. Yeah
[00:55:47] Suck on my penis suck my day. I'm gay. Shaping a haircut
[00:55:51] But too is that in back to the future? No, it's who frame Roger rabbit. That's right
[00:55:59] That's right. That's right. That's right. So like they're in that hideout in the fucking bar
[00:56:08] The dr. Doom whatever the judge doom or yeah, whatever that guy's name
[00:56:14] The tune can't resist. You know when he's going around doing like shave in a haircut. Yeah
[00:56:21] And then fucking Roger so loot to Roger dude you can't help but do bins
[00:56:32] Dude, I tell you gets fine pussy that Roger rabbit is my personal Jesus Christ in a way
[00:56:36] That's a good guy to be yeah getting just
[00:56:42] Ununbelievable. Yeah, the hottest girl ever. Oh man. The way I might beat off the cartoon later tonight, man
[00:56:49] Oh, he makes me laugh. There was a point there was a porn star a real life porn star named Jessica rabbit
[00:56:58] Red hair and big she did not look nearly as good there was there have been plenty of like you can find some cosplay
[00:57:05] But none of them really scratched the itch. Wait, you want to see the rabbit, man
[00:57:09] I want to see Roger rabbit fucker. You want to see a little rabbit? You want to see a rabbit, man
[00:57:14] Like fuck like like like bunnies. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, buzz quick. She's on all fours
[00:57:19] Can you imagine? He's really I I told you guys I saw two bears having sex with the zoo a couple weeks ago
[00:57:25] One of the most tremendous things I ever seen. Yeah, what's his name?
[00:57:36] Stop fuck you and fuck fuck. You should really
[00:57:47] Ah, fuck. I can feel this shit stretching my whole yeah, we I think no no you don't
[00:57:53] You don't think that I think you're gonna have a great shit after this
[00:57:57] Yeah, I gotta figure out what I'm doing for dinner
[00:58:01] Well, he's going to this beef place now. It's got me thinking steak
[00:58:04] Yeah, but we gotta find our own place because he only made a reservation a week ago for him and his girlfriend
[00:58:08] I know I called to see if we can get four they said no
[00:58:12] But they put me on a waiting list and they said for I said can you put me for two or four?
[00:58:18] Interesting two or four. I'm gonna call them. Hi. Um, my name is Adam Friedland. No, did I ever say two or four?
[00:58:26] Yeah, but you can't actually call them up. I call them as mr. Frieden
[00:58:30] How do you meet Adam? No, that's not what I sound like everyone knows
[00:58:45] Can I have table for two and we said we have a table for four and he says no it must only be two
[00:58:51] And he said well, we only have reservations available for four people
[00:58:57] And he said no there has to be a way where there is only a table left for two people
[00:59:04] Remember him the gay man from last week. It was so good that even us in Montréal
[00:59:11] The people left here the people who left France to have even more cases
[00:59:21] And we're boosting to each other's eyes
[00:59:45] Anyway, uh, I can't wait to go to boost blue
[00:59:48] So guys freaking bust guys if you're around on Friday night, we're in Ottawa
[00:59:54] Please come by taking so our Canadian shares. We're doing two plugs this episode two plugs
[01:00:02] We got to sell these tikies as we stated before
[01:00:05] It's like two shows in one we do an hour and a half of stand up and then
[01:00:10] Live podcast after that so nice, you know, whenever I go anywhere else it is nice. I'm like, oh, I'm glad I live in New York
[01:00:16] Yeah, I really want to live anywhere else. I feel like Toronto Montréal are places I could live
[01:00:21] I don't know if I could live there, but it's like it does make it's really nice to visit here
[01:00:25] If that's made me feel like I don't have to live in New York. Yeah, I want to live in Amsterdam. I want to retire there
[01:00:30] Dude, I'm moving Prague. It's good shit. We have a little euro getting the dust real music
[01:00:36] Adam, where you gonna live in the European
[01:00:41] But in Tel Aviv or Jerusalem, yeah, there's a lot of places
[01:00:50] Uh, you know, the occupied west bank. Yeah, yeah, some nice property there
[01:00:55] They if they didn't want us to have it why they call it the bank that's true. That's a good point
[01:01:01] That should be called something else any moment now if the plans of Adam and his family
[01:01:06] Come to fruition what my family and I have no plans other than to you know
[01:01:13] Well, your family large writ large. Oh, okay. Well, that's true
[01:01:18] All right, folks. Well, catch us in Canada. We'll be back. Uh, are you cutting it off? No
[01:01:27] Yeah, he is I was you are I thought you gave me a look. No, no. I'll give you a look. Okay. Will you have to go as you close to eight?
[01:01:37] It's six thirty. I should probably go you got a shower dash guy shower. I got a shit
[01:01:42] You're gonna you're gonna be breathing in my shit. I showered at the place earlier today the gay men's father. I want to
[01:01:50] Damn so stupid that legitimately got me
[01:02:02] You get dumber you get done. Yeah, because you know I feel like my parents used to be smarter
[01:02:07] No, I think they were maybe I was dumber. Yeah. Yeah, well, I think they've gotten dumber
[01:02:13] I think people's people get dumber. You think so everyone, but you get stumber
[01:02:18] I don't get smarter. You just get smarter and you just smarter than everyone else shut. I don't say I've never said that
[01:02:23] I've never claimed to be smarter than I was
[01:02:25] Now and not a one. I'm mad. I'm sad for the guy from flowers for algernon
[01:02:30] Yeah, being able to stay smart. No, but he doesn't like being smart, but he got pussy moral of the story. But he got pussy
[01:02:43] Getting hard for a while. Yeah, that's what it's about. That's interesting and then more moons for algernon
[01:02:59] Tomorrow night if you're in New York can you stand on Tuesdays? Bye guys