Cum Town | Regular | 06/28/2019
[00:00:06] Check five five five five. Oh, you already started. Yeah, okay. I did Adam. Oh
[00:00:14] Jack can you hear me? I can't I don't know have the thing in okay, but I'm sure it's fine and
[00:00:20] And by I'm sure it's fine. I mean who gives a fire? Oh
[00:00:29] Baby, I love case X that like skin lion shit. Oh, yeah
[00:00:33] I like skin lines roar a great meme. Yeah, check it out if you haven't had a chance getting this is welcome to the saying things
[00:00:56] Memes we fucked memes we busted inside what kind of you jacked off to a meme before I
[00:01:03] Had I think actually now I can think of it. What was it remember that one where is the girl holding the other girls hair in a ponytail
[00:01:12] That's a good one and then pouring water in her milk. It's milk. It's milk. Yeah, it's really good
[00:01:18] That's a fucking great one. You can't even see their titties. It's so sexual
[00:01:22] Yeah, I just want that girl to fucking eat that other girls post. I love how?
[00:01:27] Honestly, that's what I was thinking and then people put words over it like my anxiety, right? Yes. Yeah, yeah
[00:01:34] finals right going to a party my anxiety. Yeah
[00:01:40] Your anxiety is the girl holding your hair back probably yes standing in the corner at a part
[00:01:47] verbal meme, okay the girl the girl getting the
[00:01:52] Water poured in her mouth is hold on hold on. How about this? Let's say you're an Indian
[00:02:03] My favorite no no you have to take the same pickin
[00:02:08] No, what I'm to me would be the girl getting the milk and then the milk would be
[00:02:21] Mm-hmm and the girl would be my parents. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, something like that
[00:02:28] Yeah, that'd be relatable for good job. You know, yeah, yeah. Oh, you know could be
[00:02:34] Guys Indian guys are trying to get me to marry Indian guys could be the milk
[00:02:40] Mm-hmm, and then the girl could be my mom. Why don't we do these kind of my mom every time I'm at home
[00:02:46] Why do we have to do this or you wait for Thanksgiving you say?
[00:02:50] My mom and Thanksgiving. Uh-huh milk. Yeah, telling me I should marry and when I'm asking me to air
[00:02:56] I'm asking me when I'm gonna settle down with nice Indian boy nice poon job. EMC exactly and then me
[00:03:01] The girl that we just do I love the data in your girl
[00:03:05] Just go straight and then like disappoint them. Well, yeah date the any girl for like six months and being like
[00:03:11] Pranjaya, I love you. I want to meet your dot head family. No
[00:03:17] Well, you know what I'm just play it's well
[00:03:19] No, I want to meet him and we're gonna I can't wait to meet your and I just do all of the rituals correctly
[00:03:26] Yeah, so I show up front door. I've got the sword holstered right now. You're on an elephant. I'm covered in ribbons
[00:03:32] I'm coming out right in on all sources. Yeah, and then I get in there
[00:03:39] Shoes stay on right up to the fuck just going through the refrigerator. I'm like all this stuff smells like shit
[00:03:45] You're just like a lad. Yeah, you're singing that relationship for six months and saying you love her a bit
[00:03:58] Indian food for dinner, but in this story
[00:04:00] It's good food this food stinks and they're like why are you dating an Indian guy?
[00:04:07] And I'm like fucking Indian people are dumb
[00:04:10] That's why she's not dating an Indian guy. Yeah, cuz she doesn't want to end up like you if I was that girl if I was that
[00:04:17] Girl, hold on Harvard. Yeah, if you're that girl, you can make a meme and it could be like
[00:04:23] How about a baby boyfriend could be the girl holding the milk and then racist stuff
[00:04:29] Yeah, and then the girl getting them drinking the milk could be my family
[00:04:32] But you know what that would just make her like the milk is the race if I owned her parents that way
[00:04:39] Vijonkia this way Vijonk is just trying to fucking
[00:04:44] Work in a coffee shop. That's fine. She doesn't want to be an engineer
[00:04:48] She's not trying to be a fucking what George Clooney on ER. Yeah, you want for her? Where's he now?
[00:04:54] That's right married to an Indian woman of his own
[00:04:57] So maybe I think I think doctors are so smart. You should look at the smartest doctor of all time. Mr. George Clooney
[00:05:04] That's what you do a mall Clooney. Yeah, mall. It's a mall per person. Maybe George Curtis wife. I know yeah
[00:05:12] Oh, I don't know her as George. I mean a moles. Don't you mean? I think I
[00:05:21] Oh, yeah, okay, no, I know her yeah, she's a human rights bitch
[00:05:32] How about the meme and it's the guy looking over his shoulder the other girl
[00:05:36] But the one the one he's with is wheat thins and the one he's looking at his Triscuits. That's awesome
[00:05:42] Yeah Rosemary and olive oil Triscuits those are really good. We're on a roll. What other means do
[00:05:50] Why don't we just right instead of doing this disgusting show that we do? Why don't we just do a meme guy normie memes
[00:05:55] There's what we do get a hundred thousand retweets on all of them. Here's the thing
[00:06:00] We're going we're that's what we're doing now. We're doing the shit
[00:06:04] People have been doing visual memes now. It's time we did audio memes. Mm-hmm, and that's what the show. Oh, we're inventing that
[00:06:17] It could be like a picture off of a hot girl on a beach. Mm-hmm, and there's a seagull
[00:06:27] The ice cream cone that she has in her hands. Mm-hmm
[00:06:30] So go ahead and make a meme off that we got a hot girl on a beach
[00:06:34] Sorry, she has a nice home cone and a seagull and she's like ah and a seagull is stealing down. Yeah
[00:06:43] So the I see guys just it yeah studying for finals, okay
[00:06:47] And the girl is me me and then the sounds like I'm trying to remember a dream
[00:06:58] Like girls showing up with a case of four loco in the dorm yeah, we're like some sort of like like a
[00:07:06] You know like wildcat fest on the quad that's good, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, they got three 11 this year
[00:07:13] Yeah, and and Ray Kwan from that's right. Yeah from they got t-pain coming in about gay Kwan
[00:07:21] That's all that's really good. Have they quan the the penis chef?
[00:07:27] Gay Kwan the chef that prepares dishes made out of semen
[00:07:41] So weird it's like it gets air being bees like it's nice, but can you imagine this being your apartment?
[00:07:45] Yeah, no this right like so we're all right now to let you guys know we're we suck a suck a
[00:07:50] Dicheliana we're in Edmonton and Alberta get head as well be Russia the Dallas of
[00:07:57] Yeah, it is Russia. It's like petro dollars. We're in get Edmonton
[00:08:02] Literally on an off-campus dorm somewhere. That's yeah, but like we're the rich kids on like they go to school
[00:08:07] They don't live at the no the state housing. We don't share a fucking bathroom with 12 other motherfuckers on the floor
[00:08:15] No, we have a suite and we have two bathrooms. There's four bedrooms
[00:08:19] We each have a full there is no furniture no furniture
[00:08:25] So you know one little couch that you can karate chop through pretty easily
[00:08:30] But we're gonna get some pussy tonight. We're going out to get pussy. We're going bitch hunting going bitch hunting on campus
[00:08:36] Okay, school really on some fake ass candidate shit. Yeah, it's so funny. The Canada has colleges, too
[00:08:43] Mm-hmm. I mean oh say shut up. Yeah, will you learn and fucking leave this dick?
[00:08:49] Yeah, I'm gonna moose fuck it a moose's head. We're gonna learn fucking the syrup. Yeah learn learning how to be
[00:08:57] Not as tight as us routine. What about you? Why don't why don't you put my dick?
[00:09:03] You in university about poutines and it's a website where Indian girls young Indian
[00:09:12] We just had Indian I was afraid this was gonna happen with the spices
[00:09:22] That coconut once he has coriander he can't stop with speaking in the voice
[00:09:30] He doesn't know how to ask because we've gone without our uber drivers for so long. That's true
[00:09:34] I don't have access to them. I get it out of my system in those ubers. Mm-hmm. You know
[00:09:40] Well, Canada is a very diverse culture. There's a lot of South Asians here not a lot of Indians
[00:09:46] I've seen Somali guys. There are a lot of Indians. We went in Canada in general. Yeah, what's this school?
[00:09:52] We're we're at make you in university. Let's see what that place is Mckewen Mckewen Mckewen fun
[00:09:57] Yeah, they invented rape at this college. I don't think that's true. It was the first mattress
[00:10:05] That's not true. Yeah mattress girl thing. I think some caveman without part
[00:10:10] I think the Chiquita banana lady was raped in a pile of fruit
[00:10:13] Oh, I don't think that and that's why she goes to her
[00:10:17] As a remembrance some guy pushed me into a basket of fruit raisin
[00:10:21] MFA I think it's just a fun now. I have to go around I
[00:10:28] Have to carry all this fruit around so people know that he raped me with each piece of fruit on this thing
[00:10:36] Shoved into my pussy. Oh, this used to be a community college dude
[00:10:41] Dude, this needs to be called Grant Mckewen community college and now it's a real university
[00:10:46] Is his named after some fucking guy that?
[00:10:53] We're not even in Saskatchewan. It looks like Hitler honestly
[00:10:56] Look at him. Does this guy look like it damn tear down the statue of him, right?
[00:11:06] Fuck him something can fuck boys. We're a member of the legislative assembly of Alberta. He was the mayor of Calgary
[00:11:15] But he can suck my fucking dick while he's at it in hell
[00:11:25] Grant Mckewen you can suck my dick in hell my penis suck my penis
[00:11:32] I'm in hell and I'm getting my dick sock. Yeah
[00:11:37] That's pretty good, dude. Wait. I'm watching the video that girl making fun of the offshana
[00:11:47] Nice, yeah, are you watching why you're watching it now came up? It came up again on Twitter. It's going real viral
[00:11:55] I'm thinking we go to the strip club after this. Okay, you know boys how at the beginning of this tour
[00:12:01] I did the boys right at the end of the tour
[00:12:04] We all promised each other on the first day that we wouldn't jack off or come this whole trip
[00:12:08] Mm-hmm something we go to the strip club is our last night, you know without a show off night
[00:12:14] We go there and we all bust in our pants together
[00:12:17] That's a good that's not cheating. It's not cheating if it's busting your pants. It's not cheating. No way. That's a genius, dude. Yeah, that's
[00:12:27] This we just start we just make the thinnest pants of all time. Yeah
[00:12:31] We just I'm gonna be coming in here dude my pants fit through you can just put the pants into the pussy
[00:12:41] Like no, I mean we brushed up against each other and I happen to come in my pants
[00:12:46] Yeah, no, there's like a fabric dig cut out. Yeah
[00:12:49] Or you can use what you do. It's like a call on the pants make pants made out of condoms
[00:12:54] Yeah, so you wear technically busting in your pants if you connect it up the condom connected to your pants
[00:13:03] Pants made up really do that's a shark tank. I do shark
[00:13:08] This is so we can start cheating on our girlfriends. Yeah, we made pants that are made out of latex condoms
[00:13:15] You can bust in your pants and it's not cheating
[00:13:19] Mr. Wonderful. I don't know if gay guys have this problem, but would you be interested in investing?
[00:13:29] then the foot with that guy DREAM and is just like crying
[00:13:35] He's like that's the most food bullshit I ever
[00:13:42] Honestly, that's the most food shit I ever heard on this show
[00:13:47] I'll give you a billion dollars for two percent take the whole cup
[00:13:57] $10 men cover $5 lady cover. Oh, so you think they'll be pussy at the strip
[00:14:01] Yeah, cuz women love going to strip club and they love going just to
[00:14:10] Male that are looking at the strip type of alphas to go to the strip club in a Monday night
[00:14:18] $2,000 contest at the other strip club, but it doesn't have a good review
[00:14:29] Hold on I'll find them both I was just looking at the reviews on Google
[00:14:35] And then the other one is shade gentlemen's Club. Oh, they're both shade shade and no shade like a shade
[00:14:45] Yeah, yeah, yeah Pierre the house is at Piers house pussy club, but apparently it's Tuesday night apparently
[00:14:52] There's some sort of contest at shade gentlemen's Club interesting. What kind?
[00:15:03] There's a cash prize prize. Okay, do we have to strip so it's Tuesday's filthy feud
[00:15:09] Where you can win up to 2,000 if you're lucky and have a dirty mind is that all they describe the con?
[00:15:16] I mean we have to have like dirty mind contest. Yeah, we have to have the dirtiest minds like home alone
[00:15:31] Yeah, it turns out Joe Pesci fits entirely in the Kevin's act
[00:15:36] And the other guy fucking Daniel whatever they tape a dildo to a paint can yeah and release it into his
[00:15:48] Kevin's we each one of them holds Kevin's legs and then they jump down the hole where the basement stairs used to be
[00:15:56] Impaling Kevin via his ass on the broom stats dirty that he has set up
[00:16:03] I'm using my time to get that $2,000. I go city to city telling the dirtiest
[00:16:15] This guy Lex Luthor says shout out to Savannah the great sis girl. We love her. Happy be
[00:16:26] Oh, this is like the name of every girl there
[00:16:35] Just one Alexis beautiful women with awesome dance skills Wow, that's important to me
[00:16:41] I hope the choreography is tight. Honestly if it's not tight. I'm not I'm not throwing two loonies or tunies at her pussy
[00:16:51] How do you tip if they don't have dollar bills here? Do you insert the coins into her ass like a vent?
[00:17:00] In her pussy. I have heard you can grab the titties in Canada at the strip. That's honestly awesome
[00:17:09] Can I say that that's what that's what the strip club was like when I was 19 and I engaged in Israel I
[00:17:35] Yeah, we just discovered that that song is panic at the disco. Yeah, I thought it was some like mixed race teen
[00:17:41] Yeah, it seems like a mixture he says the band of Las Vegas some guy there was nothing
[00:17:47] But like hoodies in very tight like a curly hair up top but a skin fade on the side. Yes
[00:17:53] A kid with a kid with like fry locks haircut
[00:18:00] And fucking and then a hoodie and then it painted on jeans yes, yeah hoodie costs $800
[00:18:07] $800 hoodie one of these rich black kids
[00:18:28] What has it too easy right now sexy girls kissing naked boy mixed race children
[00:18:35] Yeah, you're against fucking race mix but you say cuz they're spoiled
[00:18:46] They're rich black moms can't get enough for spoiling
[00:18:53] No, it's a class I'm talking about class a classic
[00:19:03] Okay, so I can I'm on the Facebook page now of this
[00:19:09] Shays here the house of Pierre here. So we're here to see house or we can we can see we can see if the talent is right
[00:19:18] The town looking like what do they show pussy in Canada?
[00:19:22] No, they don't have pussy here. I don't remember. I remember the rule of thumb in Vegas growing up
[00:19:28] So you can stick your thumb in her pussy was that you could she is now your slut
[00:19:37] Put her out to pasture. It's like quidditch if you catch the little fucking bowl. Yeah, well these girls are
[00:19:47] I wonder if there was any plantation owner that did like it went to see if like if there was a market for breast milk
[00:19:56] I think we would have heard of I guess they're like milking the
[00:20:00] Think about refrigeration is big when it comes to breast milk
[00:20:03] I know that's why you would need because in the south they didn't have refrigeration
[00:20:06] So you just need massive amounts of slaves to produce tittymilk. No, but what I'm saying is you would need it cold
[00:20:11] I don't want to drink one tittymilk. Mm-hmm. It's weird that they're taking pictures on this Facebook page
[00:20:20] Sorry, I yeah breast milk cheese could be good. Yeah, it's crazy
[00:20:24] They didn't have air conditioning in the south until like 1930. Yeah, what a horrible place. That's your fucking shit life
[00:20:37] Make slavery seem even less chill. Yeah, it does one thing if it was like a nice
[00:20:42] 70-day if you were like the slave that got the drive the Zamboni michu that would be an okay job
[00:20:54] Yeah, there was no Zamboni and there was not there was not have ice
[00:21:06] Children if you could get off the ice for a minute
[00:21:09] Mr.. Mr. Timothy is gonna come by on the Zamboni machine
[00:21:19] They got to take an aptitude test to place them in terms in a bunch of different fun jobs
[00:21:27] Somebody had to sell the fucking hot chocolate at the ice skating rink
[00:21:31] You both are your phones now, huh? Well, I'm just researching this strip club situation because I'm so horny
[00:21:43] Five dollars for women and a 50% entry discount from members of the armed forces
[00:21:48] Wow, so if we dress up like ladies in soldiers two dollars and fifty cents. Yeah
[00:21:55] Oh boy my listen, I know you think we don't have Jews in Canada, but we see this
[00:22:02] What you guys that look like woody Allen and combat boots and fishnet off
[00:22:07] We're fucking lipstick on on the corner
[00:22:13] Hello, it's me Gia. I split a chair with one of them you can pay half price
[00:22:18] Wow, they have Instagram too. Wow now have you you have really us a single one of these women
[00:22:24] I really should be paying better attention to the show and not to these titties. No, no the show's going fine
[00:22:29] The show's great. I'm still laughing about the slave driving the sand. I was very funny
[00:22:35] It's wet whiskey Wednesday come get out of the rain and warm up with one of our beautiful performers Salem
[00:22:41] Salem could get it. Yeah, Salem could get it now. Is there a website?
[00:22:46] If getting it means busting in my condom pants
[00:23:13] Damn some of these girls do not look as good nasty nasty nasty bitch. She a nasty bitch
[00:23:21] You a nasty bitch damn it now they tagged one of the strippers now. I'm on her fucking let's see on her account
[00:23:28] Let me see mikela. What does she look like she has a lot of tattoos? I'd like that. I don't I don't like tattoos. Let me see please
[00:23:38] Okay, this is how it happens with Instagram
[00:23:41] You just start on one thing innocently trying to look at a strip club's page
[00:23:45] And then you're on the strippers page strippers, and then you're looking at her roided up boyfriend's page
[00:23:50] And then you DM her and you're like I'm worried about you and this guy. I don't think I think this guy's bad for you
[00:23:56] I think he's bad listen. I'm a cop shit. Of course. You listen. I'm a police officer
[00:24:01] bondage shit if you just getting tied up and flow if you need to feel safe
[00:24:07] I would love to make her feel safe. Please drop a pin if you want to ma'am. I'm trying to sexually protect you with my
[00:24:20] You are being placed under my girlfriend
[00:24:24] Mom, please put keep your hands on the wheel
[00:24:27] My name is officer Chowdrey you're wearing sweatpants ma'am
[00:24:44] So we're gonna do after this and we're gonna blaze up go to the strip club no that is a that is a
[00:24:50] Mistake I've done that really I fool me once I've done it for too many times because when we were in high school
[00:24:56] Right and we turned 18 the only thing we could do is go to all new strip clubs
[00:25:00] And when you couldn't go to the top ones because those had alcohol because they didn't want pussy and alcohol mixing
[00:25:05] Oh, really? Yeah, so me and my friends used to blaze because so you couldn't get have a cocktail and look at a
[00:25:12] No, no, we drink juice with Chinese businessmen at little darlings and
[00:25:18] Yeah, and then and then we would get stoned and then just there they play the music videos along with the songs
[00:25:23] And so we just like end up just watching like be like, oh fucking puddle a mud dude. That's a weird ass man
[00:25:30] Why is she dancing this isn't a very sexual song, you know, yeah?
[00:25:34] So so yeah blazing is not good for the for the vibe. I don't think I guess I'll just blaze up
[00:25:41] suck my own dick you could do that. I mean I
[00:25:48] Whatever let's just finish this fucking podcast so I can bust
[00:25:53] I can't wait to bust you need to jack off, dude
[00:25:56] I told you I thought we all made a pact not to jack off this you've been fucking
[00:26:01] I don't know how to tell this to you, but you've been fucking sleep busting every night
[00:26:05] Not that you're gonna reality show bust house
[00:26:08] In a house and they're like none of them are allowed to jack off and it's just guys quietly jacking off on night vision camera
[00:26:19] And they have like a computer room and it's like they're just meeting in the morning and there's a guy with his shirt off making a protein shake
[00:26:26] And he's like yeah, bro. I gotta talk to you because I went to go get a glass of water last night
[00:26:39] Wasn't I was a boss I was a boss I was edging for a while, but I didn't bust
[00:26:47] Tyler and Sasha debate whether he busted or not coming up on bust house
[00:26:54] You couldn't let the bus you know dude I asked you several times stop bringing up that girl with big tits
[00:26:59] We saw and say the word breath with that girl we saw with big
[00:27:11] That sounds great not watch fucking commercials for fucking bikini waxes you cannot watch
[00:27:17] So fucking summer's eve douche commercial
[00:27:20] Against me to fucking horny. Um, it like Eric has some news to share with the group
[00:27:25] The producers found out that I actually have testicular cancer which prevents me from busting to begin with
[00:27:35] Boys go play putt putt golf to send Eric off
[00:27:39] One last hang before Eric has to leave because he lied about his testicular cancer
[00:27:45] Bro, honestly when I found out your nuts didn't work. I felt really betrayed. Yeah, yeah
[00:27:50] No, I just can't wait till we get back to the clubhouse and we can play we
[00:27:58] God damn you people would watch it. I would legitimately
[00:28:06] That would be a challenging thing to do. Yeah to live it. They're just constantly beating off
[00:28:12] But in a scenario where there's like the cameras are watching you and every time you grab your cock
[00:28:18] It's like no, it's not it's just that it's ten guys in a house
[00:28:23] And they're not supposed to beat off, but you don't get anything for not beating off
[00:28:29] People talking about how they're there to win. Yeah, I'm not here to make friends
[00:28:37] Bust and then they're just constantly beating off
[00:28:41] Yeah, Eric, I could tell that you're beating off right now. No, I'm not dude
[00:28:47] There is come all over the spatula that is honestly so it's an interesting foot. We should pitch bust house because
[00:29:00] Is there a prize or it's just like there's no prize there's no point to it
[00:29:05] There's not even they have to go to work right the way all those shows are no there to work it like a no
[00:29:11] They don't have self. Oh, there's like challenges. Yeah. They're like they tried to yeah
[00:29:15] They tried to work at the local burrito fiesta, but Eric beat off
[00:29:21] The boys immediately started beating off
[00:29:26] But unfortunately they employed a pretty hot 15 year old host is 15 year old girl was working there and they couldn't help
[00:29:33] But take turns beating off in the bathroom
[00:29:37] Just looking at her and closing your eyes because you would bro. We weren't in the house
[00:29:42] We all caved bro. That's my little cousin bro. Yeah, they're just standing around in a circle
[00:29:48] There's Tiki torches in the backyard next to the jacuzzi
[00:29:51] They're like we all promised we wouldn't bust at burrito fiesta
[00:29:55] We all said we wouldn't do it and we all failed the challenge and that's on all of us
[00:30:02] And we're going to learn and grow from this
[00:30:06] But a bum bum bum bum bum bust house. So does anyone get eliminated?
[00:30:11] No, no, you just get caught and it's just it's Jersey Shore, but but it's about beating on beating
[00:30:25] Yeah, not bust and then at the end they realized that they've made friendships for a lifetime
[00:30:32] Showing the masturbation is evil what you can accomplish by not busting yeah male friendship
[00:30:37] Cuz you know that busting gets in the way of men being friends with each other you know you want it you want to throw
[00:30:44] We're so caddy you want to throw a fucking a wrench in there. Yeah put a gay guy in there. Oh
[00:30:50] My god, well I'll tell you what you'd be cool if one of them his dick did work
[00:30:54] I think whoa and he was tricking all of them, but then the show is sponsored by blue chew calm bust house to the official sponsor
[00:31:10] Yeah, if blue chew will make a guy's dick hard whether he wants it or not
[00:31:15] And if you if you see it fella you like mix a little blue chew in the GHB
[00:31:30] We finally got our reads back no we didn't lose we never lost it. I know I know I'm just trying to create a narrative
[00:31:36] No, all our other sponsors went out of business
[00:31:42] No cuz they found out they were selling boots to cops to step into kick. Oh, yeah
[00:31:47] Kicking some easy for skulls. Oh about that. Yeah, no, we couldn't do that. So then we probably shouldn't even mention
[00:31:54] Yeah, we shouldn't measure now different there. They're still a business
[00:32:00] It's what happened was it's not winter anymore, so they didn't want to buy it. Oh, it's for the winter
[00:32:05] Let's winter in Australia now. Yeah, it's true. I'll them back. We have a lot of fans there
[00:32:10] I guess they're probably advertising an Australian podcast
[00:32:13] They talk like fucking you know Australia even
[00:32:21] I'm I'm fucker dingus. I'm fucking gay Tom. I'm shit ass faggot shit
[00:32:45] Down under none he blew to make my bitch dick work
[00:32:50] Boy when all my out on the only old air beak and when you're only a bit
[00:33:03] Blo chay, yeah, there's only a five degree range that I can get hard in it's between
[00:33:11] 68 and 73 degree. Yeah, I need to credit or be looking at my dick
[00:33:17] I need that I need to attempt to pit viper with my dick
[00:33:21] Make sure it's the exact right temperature that it's IR sensors go off and it fills my dick with sweet venom
[00:33:27] And that's actually what blue chu is made of in the ingredients in there
[00:33:33] It's the same active ingredients as Viagra in C. Alice, which was a lot of people know this it's snake poison snake poison
[00:33:40] And how they discovered that was by spending some time in the jungle. Yes, that's right Bob Dole went to the Amazon
[00:33:48] Got his cock absolutely was like sure he was like well if I can't be present and I'll guess I'll get my dick sucked by snakes
[00:33:57] Say that was his kid picture I promise if I don't become president I promise you I promise
[00:34:04] I will get my dick sucked by snails to Brazil and I will defile their
[00:34:09] I'll stick my dick into the Amazon River until one of those candy rootfish
[00:34:14] In Jackson spines into my dick and I painfully have to rip it out and that is my promise to the American
[00:34:20] And he's my problem is the American people and he couldn't get his dick hard to snake bit it and then he's like wow
[00:34:25] That's that's the medicine. Mm-hmm. That's the Glorz medicine right there is it and that's why he's still alive
[00:34:32] Yeah, people don't know that if you ever got like what blue chu does is just a little piece of that venom
[00:34:40] He got it straight from the fucking source
[00:34:44] He's been hard to 93 and the only way he'll dies of his cock go soft. Oh, that's the only thing keeping him alive
[00:34:49] That's a cool idea for a movie too like a speed reboot, but you have to keep your dick
[00:34:54] Is that what crank is about well, it's good. You got to keep your heart beating
[00:34:58] crank your cock. Oh, you got exactly crank three
[00:35:03] Crank three beating off. Yeah quite well crank three and he's got blue shoes. Yeah
[00:35:10] If I don't if I don't keep taking these dick bills my dick will get soft
[00:35:17] Every most people's dicks is no I need a my heart will I don't think that's what I think your grime is always supposed to have his dick
[00:35:31] I've tried I tried letting spot has bite my dick
[00:35:35] The spot has got the wrong kind of venom to make my balls hard
[00:35:44] Sporters came out of my left not my balls my balls got hard my balls pointed straight out
[00:35:53] My balls unfolded my ball back pointed straight out a cartoon wolf's eyes when it's all pair tits
[00:36:05] This is my dick doesn't I see a girl my balls come
[00:36:15] Blue chew calm you get the first chewables at the same active ingredients as Viagra and Seattle's they can work faster than pills
[00:36:21] Up to twice as fast. Oh, yeah, the chewables from blue tree can be taken on a full or empty stomach
[00:36:26] So, you know your rod steward. You've already blown. That's right. You gotta have a you got two leaders have come in your stomach
[00:36:32] You can still take that blue chew when you go. All right boys. It's my turn
[00:36:44] That's so much come to just be sloshing around your stomach
[00:36:48] That's horrible, man. It's too much too much if you ask me. That was wrong forever young
[00:36:54] That was the Alpha Bill for every young. Yeah, the rod steward wanted for
[00:36:57] Forever young. Oh, yeah, the other one so much better. So let me drink your cum
[00:37:03] Let me live forever. That's the one where he's with the little boy
[00:37:09] That looks like a rock steward feel like I can't wait to
[00:37:18] like a spiky style hair tougher Barry Manolo
[00:37:21] like Barry Manolo's gay Barry Manolo is like ratata and
[00:37:31] I want to call this strip close. There's ratata and then there's ratata right ratata the the
[00:37:41] How about that you fucking idiot well Pidgey turns into Pidgeotto by taking blue chew. Mmm. That's right. That's what I'm
[00:37:50] Brock we got to get Pikachu's dick hard. That's what the secret candies and Pokemon are their blue chews. Yeah, they're rare candies. Yeah
[00:38:10] Yes, so if you only take a few minutes to connect with a blue chew affiliated physician if you qualify you get prescribed online quickly
[00:38:18] That's right. Do not lie. No in-person doctor visits no awkward conversations
[00:38:26] Ships directly to your door and discrete packaging the tubals from blue chew dot-com or prescribed online by a doctor
[00:38:36] 85 year old man who has a podcast I could not
[00:38:42] Give a more full-throated endorsement. Where are you doing Fred Thompson? That senator? Yeah, maybe oh, yeah
[00:38:48] Thompson who was on loan order he was an actor too many you tried to run for president. There's a lot of guys that just sound like that
[00:38:54] Yeah, yeah, it was like well, um, it sounded like Fred. Oh grown man now. So I guess I'll have to talk like this
[00:39:04] Blue chew blue chew gives you confidence of Ben every time you and your partner will love it or you just take them for beating off
[00:39:12] Absolutely, you know, I love that shit. I love it. I'll take a blue chew and then masturbating to the covers of books
[00:39:20] I don't even need poor darber. I'm a fucking sappy asexual bitch. Yeah, I jack off the book covers
[00:39:26] I got the bookmarks that I'm jacking off to fucking candle your kids do nothing for me. Yeah, I don't even need that shit
[00:39:34] I'm gonna be over here. I'm jagging off to a semi-colon. I'm over here masturbating to the Wayne Scotting
[00:39:41] Like one of the one of the the aliens in legend. I am legend
[00:39:47] Isn't that that's about vampires. It's about one of vampires. I am legend
[00:39:57] Chew and do it. Here's a great deal for you guys visit blue chew commigate your first order free when you use promo code
[00:40:02] Come Town that see as in Chinese you is in Ukrainian Amazon Muslim tea is in trans oh
[00:40:18] All right, just pay five dollar shipping that's blue chew calm B L you
[00:40:27] And we're back and we're fucking fucking back sucking off eight guys and drinking that come
[00:40:35] Now my stomachs full of two leaders are saving
[00:40:47] Man, I can't stop looking at these lovely ladies
[00:40:50] Yeah, what's the website you on their Instagram page just women with the Mercedes logo tattooed on their breasts
[00:40:58] These some of them have really ghastly tattoos. I want just to settle down with a
[00:41:05] Dominican lady with a really shitty rose tattooed on a bunch. Oh my god
[00:41:09] I would love to date a Dominican lady. That was just verbally abusive to me all day long. Yeah, call me stupid
[00:41:15] Say my dick is little. Yeah, that'll be cool. Tell me that I'm not man enough
[00:41:28] That's what Nick needs dude. He really you need you need a Dominican lady yell at you, dude. Yeah
[00:41:35] Yeah, you don't have your priorities in line. I'd be honest with you. I get pretty tired of that pretty quickly
[00:41:40] I know you you would like shut the fuck up. I really don't respond to that kind of
[00:42:05] Simon chill out the room still filled with dicks
[00:42:07] I had a nightmare that all the dicks were gone and I couldn't suck all of them in my band
[00:42:20] So what do we do so at strip club and get him and then in Edmonton is that where we are?
[00:42:28] Yeah, we do we go down to that to the 7-11 where we just were yeah, we get some black and mild some biker myth
[00:42:36] Okay, some biker crank we get crank we get some crank then we cray and then we go high voltage
[00:42:49] Like in the bathroom obviously can I be like that a lot? That's a great idea not busting
[00:42:57] We do not bust we have a code the buster's code I
[00:43:02] Promise not to bust our father I art and penis
[00:43:08] That if I become a highlander I am never oh yeah, we watch highlander
[00:43:13] If you want to live forever you just can't beat off you have to come into my mouth
[00:43:20] Wait, that's the fountain you see the movies about a Spanish guy that goes around the world tricking guys in the gay sex
[00:43:26] Chris you have to understand the model Scottish guy from Scottish
[00:43:34] Egypt or Spain my name is a Juan Carlos
[00:43:38] De Santes de Ramirez the only Scottish person in that movie which is a movie about Scottish people is playing in Egypt
[00:43:55] Just I would like it if that character becomes a day labor or later
[00:43:59] In his highlander. Yeah, right immortal life my clock because he's resurrected in highlander too
[00:44:05] Yeah, he came back for that franchise. He did he was a hit the only that's the only franchise other than Bond
[00:44:12] There the only movie he started in a sequel other than wow
[00:44:17] Well, yeah, because he's a fucking Scottish retard and he's like we have to get our culture out there
[00:44:26] He's a guy playing with swords because he wants to live forever. Yeah, his wife was raped by a
[00:44:34] Monster from another plant from space of some a specialion
[00:44:41] Now I live forever and I love that why does he teach him?
[00:44:47] Why is because all the all the other highlanders are chilled they're all
[00:44:51] Everyone's nice to each other except the air except the kirgan who kills the rest of them because there can be only one and
[00:44:58] The kirgan's right like they all understand there's only supposed to be one of them because then if you there's only one you get the prize
[00:45:05] Which is eternal all the curtains the only one he's like listen
[00:45:08] We're supposed to be doing this he's a reason
[00:45:13] If everyone just hangs out gets pussy forever
[00:45:17] You get to get a bunch of like the prize is your dick starts working again
[00:45:24] Use your medicine called blue chew that makes me
[00:45:29] Oh, it also will make you live forever. It's snake. You'll have to let the snake bite the head of your dick off
[00:45:46] Did your cock get bitten off by a snake? I kind of want to call this strip club and see
[00:45:51] What which ladies are working tonight and then see if we can get pics maybe an IG for some of them?
[00:46:00] Yeah, DM the chicks. Yeah, I'm gonna. Hey you waiting to do shape here later. Hey, what's up me and my boys are here
[00:46:07] Staying in a college dorm. We're about to podcast tomorrow. Yeah, but for the night. We're thinking about busting in our pants. We're in town for pot
[00:46:14] Yes, this is this strip club. My name is Ramirez
[00:46:17] I'm three thousand years old and as a result I would like to not pay
[00:46:23] Know I'm immortal. So if I could come in there and maybe suck on the tits because in my country Egypt
[00:46:36] My friend my mentally retarded friend McLeod is going to be joining us
[00:46:46] But maybe tonight I will see them and suck on them
[00:46:55] Again, he's such a dog shit actor. I can't wait to act in the movie. It's me Christopher Lambert
[00:47:02] Christopher Lambert he talks like a a little bit like a certain comedian in New York City
[00:47:08] Adam Friedman no he does talk like the guy that received a similar affect
[00:47:21] A similar can't wait to go to the bathroom in Adam's mouth
[00:47:31] Is that the guy whose balls you got in trouble for showing on Facebook? Yeah, that's that's why you got banned from
[00:47:36] This was for showing highlanders fucking balls
[00:47:50] Definitely probably something you're getting thrown off
[00:47:58] It's not out of context I gave the context but I mean like I know but just describing the context that I've seen that movie
[00:48:05] I watch it repeatedly when I was a kid yeah, and until I watch it on a 65 inch TV
[00:48:10] I didn't realize I was just watching his balls as a young child
[00:48:17] Why was his balls out was it a love scene was he actually fun? No, he's actually fucking really yeah
[00:48:22] He insists he's like if we do the movie. This is my chance to have sex
[00:48:28] He was married to Diane Lynch. She's a piece of ass dude. Oh, he cheated on Diane everyone fuck Diane Lee
[00:48:34] That's not true. Don't that's why I had to I have a big question was that I didn't fuck her
[00:48:44] Jack after sex scene and unfaithful with Richard gear that Spanish guy that fucks are in the hallway
[00:48:51] Clancy Brown wouldn't come back for the Highlander sequel when they told him that it was like he was an alien or whatever
[00:48:57] Oh the bad guy yeah, he read the script and he's like this is shit
[00:49:00] And then Christopher Lambert to call him up to convince him to do the movie
[00:49:05] Uh-huh, and he's like Clancy you have to do the movie. He's like Chris. This is the script is garbage
[00:49:19] That's so fucking funny I was the one that wrote that how is that the guy they choose to be an action hero
[00:49:25] I said it at the live shows because it fucking John Claude made him. Oh, right, right, right?
[00:49:32] They got one one Franco one Franco file action star and they were like let's try it
[00:49:38] Let me go strike gold. Mm-hmm. He was in Tarzan
[00:49:42] Maybe we'll strike gold. Maybe we'll fill hole. Oh
[00:49:46] Oh big Josh the big dogs here boys are back in town
[00:49:50] Mmm. Yeah, and it's like in his own old age Christopher Lambert looks like Dana Carvey playing a guy with Down syndrome
[00:49:58] Yeah, he looks horrible. Yeah a lot of forehead. Well, he's a sort of cross-eyed five head
[00:50:04] Mm-hmm. I'm gonna call this strip club and see which sexy ladies
[00:50:09] Christoff call him. Christoff. This is full name Christoff Gee Deneed Lambert
[00:50:25] Well because we're recording the phone call. Oh, yeah, that's illegal. Yeah, is it?
[00:50:31] Well, I'll just let them yeah, you can't I mean you boy you got to be yeah
[00:50:34] I don't know. I don't know the prank calls you. I don't know the law. Yeah, what about drive-time radio. Don't they do prank?
[00:50:40] It's all fake every single one of those is produced
[00:50:42] Oh really they didn't pick up. Yeah, so I guess I'm just gonna be
[00:50:48] Jacking off jacking off you want me to strip for you man? I'll put on a wig
[00:50:52] It's like you're digging stuff to be a good friend. No, I've read too much about this strip club. I have to go
[00:51:01] You honestly need to jack I'm gonna go dressed as a member of the Canadian military who dresses a mountain
[00:51:09] Let's give mountain forms and get get in for free and hold on this bitch is in French. He's from Great Neck, New York
[00:51:15] What that's where that's where my my car is from
[00:51:19] That's crazy because you also give great neck. Oh
[00:51:25] Great neck is a very nice summer of New York City on Long Island
[00:51:30] Great neck both of you give great neck is where West egg in the Great Gatsby is
[00:51:35] That we has the parties that's with the new money town as opposed to East egg
[00:51:41] Which is old money the old the good shit the good shit
[00:51:48] Biopia and cannot see without his glasses. You cannot wear contact lenses and often has to act virtually blind
[00:52:03] All of that he just didn't know how to you couldn't see that's why this the sword fighting scenes in Highland
[00:52:08] It's also why narrow cross-eyed the whole time. Yeah, I can't wait to see my wife for the first time
[00:52:19] He can't talk he's not handsome. He can't see I'm but he's not movie star handsome. Oh, he's a novelist now
[00:52:27] He's written two books. Oh nice about what they were both called La Phil Porte boner
[00:52:38] Boner, I don't know how to fuck. I don't know if he is that girl. Yeah, the girl the girl who sells boners
[00:52:49] Lee I don't know who yeah. Yeah, this is about a big pair of tits
[00:52:55] The girl I guess port boner is like pussy hole. Oh, yeah, he poured up for boners
[00:53:05] Oh, yeah, there's a gay bar called port in a storm in
[00:53:10] Baltimore and I think it's after the expression
[00:53:12] He'll fuck any port in a storm. I think they were like
[00:53:15] We'll get some straight guys that just wanted to get fuck fuck some man. Oh, I thought it was like a sailor thing
[00:53:22] Any port in the storm means you'll fuck anyone's ass. Oh any port in the storm
[00:53:26] I would think is like you have low standards. Yeah, the storm is always going so it's a gay club for gay guys with very low
[00:53:33] I don't know but it was called port in a storm and I didn't know what it was and then I think my mom
[00:53:37] Explained to me which is weird because my mom did not had to not understand too many things
[00:53:46] She was she did she was not of this culture
[00:53:49] She didn't get the inner windows. Mm-hmm. You know what now. I'm thinking about it. There's no way my mom knew about it
[00:53:54] Yeah, it was a cool older guy from the neighborhood. He took me there. Mm-hmm showed me around any turd in an ass any
[00:54:01] Turned in ass. They're about eating the turds or shitting them out a gay bar called. I'll fuck a guy
[00:54:13] The last resort the last resort would be a great a great bar name just do the trash
[00:54:19] I'm sure there's a bar named the last resort. It just sounds like a dive bar name dicks ass resort
[00:54:28] Yeah, but that place sucks. That's all like they call you ugly and she hopefully at this trip
[00:54:34] Can you imagine you going there? I would be too much. Yeah, they gotta be like wow too easy
[00:54:39] I'd be like shut up. Don't say mean stuff. Yeah, that's fucked up. Mm-hmm
[00:54:45] I'm just gonna I want to hire severely disabled people like just at Dick's
[00:54:50] No, like you get them on Craigslist someone with like neurofibromatosis
[00:54:53] Oh, yeah, and you bring them the dicks last resort and then they just and then just watch the you don't laugh at anything
[00:55:00] You just watch him as they yeah deal with this smoke don't even say that. Yeah, you don't say yeah
[00:55:06] You say it with your face. No, you just sit down and you're like yeah
[00:55:11] I think we're good with water and I'll be like wow nice wheelchair. Where'd you get it the junkyard? Mm-hmm
[00:55:20] Ready to order to yeah, you don't even respond. Oh, yeah, I think we'll have the wings
[00:55:26] Yeah, I would um I would go there and have them tell my wife. I wanted a divorce
[00:55:37] That's good, I'll write down some material for them on my wife and I'd be like whoa what the fuck that's the mother of my children
[00:55:44] Mama Mia mama Mia. What's a good way to divorce your wife?
[00:55:56] You mean guncata like an equilibrium what's guncata it's I don't know it's karate with guns. Oh nice. Yeah, that's awesome
[00:56:05] Would you shoot the gun it would set a bang it would say I want a divorce or would you threaten to kill her?
[00:56:13] These fireworks or something that's oh yeah, it just smells out. I want to get divorced. Yeah divorce by sky
[00:56:24] Oh, so I can own all that stick for living
[00:56:32] I'm a fucking gay man. I'm gay. I'm a fucking gay guy. My penis looks like children
[00:56:39] Your penis looks like no, no, I'm a fucking guy
[00:56:43] Am I think it's a set size of children? We got to come up with a better back story for the strip club than podcaster
[00:56:54] Billy yeah, yeah, we're fucking from Saudi Arabia fucking rich as hell
[00:57:00] We're the oil. I bet I could pass for a if you give you dress me up if you give if you gave you a
[00:57:07] What do you call it a kafia or whatever? Yeah, if I wore that white dress or whatever if you wore the dress and then in the cool
[00:57:15] Scars yeah, the checker thing. You know if it's red if you've been on hodge to Mecca
[00:57:21] And it's black and white if you haven't been there yet. Oh really? Yeah, that's how you know
[00:57:26] What if you do anal what color is it? Oh, it's like a hanky coat
[00:57:47] Love that we got that didn't got what Greek Greek. Yep. Yeah, that's the the slang
[00:57:56] For your culture. I've never heard that oh dude. That's like a stereotype Greek people fucking the ass
[00:58:05] They say it on like on like ads on Craigslist for for prostitutes
[00:58:10] They say no Greek no Greek. Yeah, that's fucking
[00:58:15] Which is not there anymore because of Cesta Fosta or whatever
[00:58:19] Yeah, how you supposed to get a whore these days you have to do it the old-fashioned way on the streets
[00:58:24] Going up to every single woman you see until one of them is a process
[00:58:32] What story now Nick's looking at his phone what are you looking at we were on the train and there's this girl?
[00:58:45] Selling pussy selling pussy and my friend just thought she was a hot girl and he's like what's up?
[00:58:51] You fucking partying or what like what's going on? What's up tonight?
[00:58:55] He didn't know I do soliciting a prostitute. We're like that's a that's a
[00:58:59] Professional how do you know that I was I think and I were pretty sure that she was she just on the train
[00:59:10] Yeah, her ass entities were out she looked pretty cool. Yeah, she was completely naked
[00:59:18] No, he didn't but he just didn't yeah, it was a very funny interaction on a holler at her
[00:59:25] It was pretty funny. We're on the train going to the West Village damn dude. That's gonna be just fucking strangers
[00:59:32] What do you mean being a prostitute seems bad?
[00:59:36] Yeah, that's they need protections. That's our opinion
[00:59:41] We should become pimps. No, not benevolent
[00:59:48] Yeah, excuse me all my sex workers all my sex workers is unionized. I want all y'all bitches to union noise
[00:59:59] That's my bottom bitch. That's my foreman
[01:00:01] Yeah, that's fuck. Oh, you spilled water. I'm gonna spill water all over the place
[01:00:09] Well, what's up your bitch has got health care
[01:00:12] Get y'all pussy's chair. Yeah, you got beanies
[01:00:17] All my bitches got beanies you feel like six still or no, I think I'm getting out of it
[01:00:22] Yeah, you guys are now getting too sick for the strip club. I'm just gonna bust my car. The strip club man
[01:00:27] I hate to break it to you. Yeah, no one was actually ever going I think you were serious
[01:00:31] But I was not going I was doing it as a bit. Obviously. I wasn't gonna go clearly
[01:00:36] You've been doing this for an hour prior to the podcast
[01:00:39] Well, it was a long bit. It was a two hour bit where I was joking around about how I want to go to a strip club
[01:00:46] All right, well go to the strip. Hold on. We got a show today
[01:00:53] Uh last this is our last show. So if you're really hearing this on Wednesday
[01:01:05] The July 2nd I am doing a show called fat Tuesdays. It'll be every Tuesday at the stand
[01:01:13] Please come out to that motherfucker. I'm trying to I might have that big work on you stuff
[01:01:20] Tuesday will be Gary Goldman Sam row whoo-blot Nick y'all many personers real murderers row
[01:01:26] That's a great line. I'm trying to start off with a bang and then July 8th
[01:01:31] Funny mom returns that come on and come out. We're back in the we're back in the in the
[01:01:42] Um and then um and then there should be some dates
[01:01:45] Stay watch this space. We're gonna have some dates coming up. Hopefully in the fall
[01:01:51] We're trying to domestic dates. We're trying to come see our little sludge in the US. We do realize, you know
[01:01:59] But we haven't really treated our own country and that's kind of been a protest against the Trump administration
[01:02:08] militarism and our role American how we're sending bombs all over the country will run we want to send laughs
[01:02:14] That's not a man. It's true. You know I'm saying that's why we've done international
[01:02:18] Mm-hmm. We're doing a rock next right Nick you done with this. I
[01:02:23] Thought you're doing plot wood. Oh, yeah
[01:02:29] We'll see you if you're in Edmonton tonight and good night