Cum Town | Regular | 07/11/2019
[00:00:09] I don't know. I wasn't here for the last episode.
[00:00:15] But you should, I mean, you deserve to be taking your victory lap right now.
[00:00:20] Yeah, I guess. They're assigning a lot of,
[00:00:23] a lot of credit to the Miami newspaper.
[00:00:27] Yeah, and they didn't do anything. That's a bunch of coke-dup Cuban retards.
[00:00:32] And they know that that's my opinion, which is why they've stolen all my work.
[00:00:39] They have no appreciation for what we did on this show.
[00:00:43] I really do. I mean, the degree in which, like,
[00:00:53] Yeah. You know, and the initial take was like, yeah, we don't like any pedophile.
[00:00:57] And it's like, Oh, time to retweet the statement from the Clinton family.
[00:01:03] Did you see someone had a tweet that was like, uh,
[00:01:06] he like called a bunch of like billionaire hedge fund guys.
[00:01:09] And there was like a tweet that's like, none of them, uh,
[00:01:13] agreed to say how Epstein made his money. Yeah.
[00:01:16] But it's like, from that, from that, the, the Victoria's Secret guy.
[00:01:24] And this did, they gathered on this Victoria's Secret or whatever.
[00:01:28] And it also like the limited to it's some billionaire that owns like nothing but like,
[00:01:32] panties for little girls, companies. Yeah.
[00:01:35] And he was the only client of Epstein's hedge fund.
[00:01:45] What if he's just making all his money off the child porn?
[00:01:48] He's a guy that sold Epstein's mansion. He's like giant mansion.
[00:01:52] My buddy Owen went to the mansion yesterday to take pics of like the cops rating it.
[00:02:01] You went to the Upper East side to take pics.
[00:02:04] Uh, we're, uh, we're, it's, uh, was in the bathroom.
[00:02:10] Yeah. From what I've heard, it sounds pretty nice.
[00:02:22] There's some girl that, uh, that came that like is also accusing him.
[00:02:25] It's 32 and they profiled her and she like described her, uh, time there at Epstein's
[00:02:32] And she's like, you know, he brought me in and all the rooms were like opulent.
[00:02:35] There's a lot like artwork and painting and stuff.
[00:02:37] And it's just like, it's, I mean, I know he has a lot of money, but it's like fuck,
[00:02:40] even if I had that amount of money, I would have like the kind of house that, you know,
[00:02:44] it just looked like a, a render center showroom.
[00:02:46] So you think he deserves some credit for his interior designing?
[00:02:49] No, it's just fucked up that somebody that's like raping kids is like better than you in
[00:02:54] Well, the Catholic church, I mean, they have impeccable taste.
[00:02:58] Well, it's a little gaudy for me, but the Catholic church is like the internal war, uh,
[00:03:04] between whether you should fuck kids or not.
[00:03:06] It's not like the Catholic church is entirely pro fucking kids.
[00:03:09] It's that they're kid fucking elements have taken over the church.
[00:03:12] Oh, and it's a battle for an apology battle for good versus evil, which is sliding more
[00:03:18] I think it showed don't tell and they fucked way more kids than they haven't fucked.
[00:03:23] Or actually, I guess they probably haven't fucked.
[00:03:32] Um, well, so you're saying he's got a good, he's a good interior decorator.
[00:03:36] Well, he probably hired somebody to do that.
[00:03:41] It's like, you know, yeah, it's just, it's fucked up that we live in a world where pedophiles
[00:03:46] They were the guys that got into Bitcoin early.
[00:03:48] True to buy boy pussy, which if you didn't, you just get fucked.
[00:03:59] The guys that have a lot of Bitcoin, but they're, they're just pedophiles.
[00:04:03] Uh, now I think though you're being unfair.
[00:04:06] I think the vast majority of pedophiles do not have good taste.
[00:04:10] You're just picking on the, the one with the best taste.
[00:04:13] I mean, you know, it's like that's, it's a class issue.
[00:04:17] I mean, it's like, like it's always your white trash pedophiles.
[00:04:20] So much of media has like driven into people's heads.
[00:04:22] The idea that a pedophile is somebody with like glasses and a mustache.
[00:04:31] No, it's like, it's a, yeah, it's like, uh, uh, an expression of like shitty behavior that
[00:04:38] like any other type of shitty behavior expresses itself across like class.
[00:04:53] Black guys are all about like they just, they're constantly talking about pussy.
[00:05:01] Which is the reason why I feel most comfortable around.
[00:05:03] That's why it was so easy to exploit them because we knew exactly what they wanted.
[00:05:09] You're like, are they gay or they straight?
[00:05:13] Meanwhile, they fucking raided your country and taken all your spices and your like, that
[00:05:21] I don't taste any fucking turmeric in this.
[00:05:24] What the fuck were you raping India for?
[00:05:25] The English only fuck for political reasons.
[00:05:28] I mean, I guess fucking has been a mechanism of war for all of human history.
[00:05:36] Like you raid a place and then you just fuck everyone there.
[00:05:51] Oh, and it's just a gay Puerto Rican Roman.
[00:05:56] It's two and like protagonists on the show, Lucius Verrinis and Titus Polo.
[00:06:03] The first episode, Lucius Verrinis is like committed like they like they have him specifically
[00:06:10] go torture galls to find out where, you know, Hitler's Eagle is where what Hitler's Eagle.
[00:06:18] Well, Hitler and Caesar are synonymous.
[00:06:25] But the Nazis weren't doing gay shit, were they?
[00:06:31] They're like the Weimar Republic that was like way gay.
[00:06:34] Is that the guys with the like big mustaches in the mental helmets?
[00:06:39] Yeah, it was the interim period between like Imperial Germany and Nazi Germany, where they
[00:06:45] were like, let's just, we'll all like fuck, we'll do whatever we want.
[00:06:52] So you're saying they deserve the Nazis for their sin and then the not that's what happens.
[00:06:56] You fucking you blow the doors off, you don't have any limits.
[00:07:01] You let people fuck kids left and right.
[00:07:05] So that's what we'll say about Rome too.
[00:07:06] Here's my question though, this Liberty guys or whatever the why Mars, what's their diet
[00:07:12] Because if they're eating schnitzels and fucking bratwurst and shit and you're fucking each
[00:07:19] But I'm saying what I'm saying is if it's a butt fucking society, you'd think they'd
[00:07:25] Did the schnitzel, did the German cuisine develop post gay set?
[00:07:30] Although now I understand you can't have dairy for 24 hours before you get fucked in your
[00:07:37] Did they understand that from getting fucked in the ass?
[00:07:46] We put water in your ass and it flushed it out.
[00:07:51] They invented basement techno actually.
[00:07:54] That was when that's when they're, do you know that place Bergheim, the big club?
[00:08:02] The basement apparently is a black room and it's just, there's a shiza everywhere and
[00:08:10] calm and it's just hands touching each other.
[00:08:17] With a like a base, like a thumping base in the background.
[00:08:20] Like that literally sounds a dark room where you're just getting shit out.
[00:08:24] Like a black come on fucked in the ass.
[00:08:26] And even if you like getting fucked in the ass, you'd think you'd want to be in control
[00:08:31] Didn't someone, there was someone supposed to pick that they were, they took like a freezer
[00:08:36] mold that was a dick shape and they took a shit in it and then they brought it to like
[00:08:42] the club to fuck people with a frozen shit.
[00:08:48] That's the appropriate place for shit to go.
[00:08:51] Also don't they do a shit transplant where you have to eat shit?
[00:08:57] No, they just, I think they just put it in your ass.
[00:09:00] I think they do that in the scientific community for like experiments on the animal.
[00:09:05] Well, that, no, no, I think it can solve like certain like a trans fecal.
[00:09:14] It's a cool way to both get fucked in your ass and jerk off and get a trans fecal transplant.
[00:09:20] Perhaps, yeah, just I'm just spitballing.
[00:09:24] We moved on from Epstein, but did you see that he had a fought like a huge meat grinder
[00:09:30] shipped to his fucking what to his either his island or his home like an industrial?
[00:09:40] Yes, that's what people are saying for kid burgers.
[00:09:46] The problem with the Epstein coverage is like the anti-Semitism.
[00:09:48] Because, well, of course, because it like proves keep P.T.
[00:09:53] Now, like the struggle is like, you know, right wing news sources are going to be like, yeah,
[00:09:59] and you know, Hillary Clinton was there and she was, you know, they were doing children
[00:10:03] And then the, the, it's going to be like even more like nobody's going to report accurately
[00:10:11] It's going to be then the mainstream media being like, and Bill Clinton did nothing wrong
[00:10:14] You know, and there's not going to be any in between where, I mean, it's going to be
[00:10:18] very difficult to figure out like exactly what is true and what isn't.
[00:10:23] Well, there's going to be like an FBI investigation.
[00:10:25] Like that, like that Seth Rich thing or whatever.
[00:10:28] Well, isn't that just totally not, didn't that not happen?
[00:10:34] Didn't some should say that like Russians plan that intelligence like like, like, yeah,
[00:10:42] Like the, in terms of like starting rumors, he did work for the DNC, starting rumors that
[00:10:48] he was like involved in the email hack somehow or that he was like, it was a cover up murder.
[00:10:58] You know, I mean, it didn't like not happen.
[00:11:04] I guess with that one, it's like I never really thought that, you know, there was any
[00:11:08] conspiracy there, but it was a kind of thing that Fox News were reported on.
[00:11:12] It's Clinton's ties to fucking Epstein consistently, right?
[00:11:16] Like over the last like, you know, decade or so, and nobody gave a shit now.
[00:11:21] And then it's the same people being like, well, we're not, oh, they don't care.
[00:11:30] You, you were the one that didn't care.
[00:11:33] It's not Hillary Clinton's fault though.
[00:11:34] I think it is sexist to say that it's absolutely it's not her fault that she knew about her
[00:11:41] Well, look, Kamala had like the same way to advance her career.
[00:11:44] Kamala had to lock up parents that whose children didn't go to school to show.
[00:11:53] She had to fuck kids to rise in the building bird group or whatever.
[00:11:57] There's an expectation of women that they don't fuck kids.
[00:12:08] Claire McCaskill, that's some bitch, right?
[00:12:13] I thought it was just teen girls giving him a song.
[00:12:19] The Epibophilia take is awesome where they're like, hey, whoa, whoa.
[00:12:23] The guys that put that on record is incredible.
[00:12:27] They have their name and their face next to look.
[00:12:33] He did what he did was bad, but there's a big difference between fucking nine year olds
[00:12:38] Well, there used to be an argument for specificity in language or whatever that you can't really
[00:12:43] make anymore because people don't care.
[00:12:47] It was like saying that people are like one in four women are raped on college campuses.
[00:12:55] You can buy those own, wherever that fucking study came from, it was like one in six.
[00:13:00] But to be the guy that said this under reporter.
[00:13:07] But if you're not going to get any more, I mean, fucking like six, seven years ago,
[00:13:10] you'll be like, oh, you got that wrong.
[00:13:12] But now if you're like 100% of women are raped and you're like, well, there's no way that
[00:13:22] I feel like libertarian guys are the last guys that are really like if you last guys holding
[00:13:23] out being like, listen, it was five point.
[00:13:25] You're like, they're like, oh, what actually you mean?
[00:13:30] Actually, it's like, bitch, you said a number.
[00:13:34] You decided to make if you said most, that would be fine.
[00:13:42] You decided to use a specific number of fraction.
[00:13:45] Bitch, don't be saying fractions at me.
[00:13:47] I can't stand what a bitch uses a fraction.
[00:13:54] I don't want to see a numerator or a motherfucking denominator.
[00:13:59] Well, it's, and it doesn't matter anymore, but it's just like it, it's like you, you
[00:14:04] kind of lose the autistic people when you start doing that and you, you're like, intentionally
[00:14:09] fudging numbers when you shouldn't have to.
[00:14:11] Like saying like, oh, there's like a discrepancy in what women are paid versus what men are
[00:14:17] paid is like, that's an argument you can like go into and like, you know, make a point
[00:14:22] with when you say women are paid 70 cents for every dollar men make.
[00:14:26] It's like, well, there's a million ways to disprove that.
[00:14:29] There's like a million metrics in which you can like throw at that.
[00:14:32] And it's like not an accurate number, but they want to, you want to like hold on to the
[00:14:38] And it's like, well, now you've just, now you're just arguing about statistics with
[00:14:43] It's not a dressingly underlying fucking issue.
[00:14:48] And the reasons for that and what the solution is and like how things could change.
[00:14:52] You know, and it's like, because that's all of these arguments are made for dumb people
[00:14:56] that can only consume simple things like seven out of a hundred.
[00:15:10] I almost got tight because Nick was saying fractions, but then I remembered he's a bro.
[00:15:21] So yeah, so I guess like, is it cost they're going to get caught up in this or no?
[00:15:26] Nancy Pelosi was like, look, that's up to Trump.
[00:15:29] I hope this will give a big boost to I don't want him to resign.
[00:15:35] I mean, like that, like they, people are calling for his head to roll as if that's like the
[00:15:39] fucking that's who like he's the one who fucked the kids.
[00:15:42] That's where the buck stopped is with fucking Acosta.
[00:15:44] But if you remember he, he was like, it's like, because they're like calling for Acosta
[00:15:50] to resign is like totally a move just like makes like draw the attention away from Clinton.
[00:15:55] They're going to do that now instead of like, because you saw for a while there like Trump
[00:16:01] But like that quote about like Trump said, Jeffrey Epstein was a great guy, you know,
[00:16:07] And it's like the New York Times covered it.
[00:16:09] And it says like, Oh, Trump said that Epstein was a terrific guy, not a fan anymore.
[00:16:15] And then you read the article and it says in 2002, Trump spoke to the New York Times and
[00:16:19] said that, or New York magazine and said that, you know, Epstein's a great guy.
[00:16:22] But if you click where it says New York magazine and go to that magazine, the next two paragraphs
[00:16:28] after that are about his relationship with Bill Clinton.
[00:16:33] They just want yet to one thing that Trump said he's like, yeah, he likes beautiful women
[00:16:38] in the next thing or they say many of the younger side and then the next thing is like,
[00:16:43] Jeffrey Epstein loves Bill Clinton and their best friends and they fly around the world.
[00:16:47] But you know, and then Clinton's like, Jeff is a genius and he knows everything.
[00:16:54] And so it's like you're deliberately like miss like you're like downplaying the rougher's
[00:17:00] like if you look the way the New York Times covered it here.
[00:17:05] It's like these are their two headlines.
[00:17:12] Trump once said now he's not a fan and then a smaller headline under the Oh, they got rid
[00:17:16] It was before there was a much smaller headline underneath one that says what what exactly
[00:17:20] is the connection between Bill Clinton and Jeffrey Epstein?
[00:17:31] I'm going to need you motherfuckers to take that down.
[00:17:32] I feel like it's extra sinister to go to Africa and fuck kids there.
[00:17:47] We were talking about that at the live show.
[00:17:48] We should like, yeah, they should be fucking.
[00:17:51] Is there a fucking what's the best key for first world kids?
[00:17:55] They had a great life, you know, whose parents were there and supportive.
[00:17:59] And I guess you had access to mental health care, you know, right?
[00:18:05] I don't know that there is the right kid.
[00:18:11] It's rude to fuck a kid who's dehydrated.
[00:18:26] It's not even on the front page anymore now.
[00:18:30] But whatever that is, it looks like a college, dude.
[00:18:32] In 2002, but in the Clinton article, it like the, it immediately starts talking about his
[00:18:40] But it is Mr. Epstein's ties to two United States presidents, Bill Clinton and Donald Trump
[00:18:43] that have drawn the most attention in recent days.
[00:18:46] In 2002, Mr. Trump called Mr. Epstein a terrific guy in an interview with New York magazine.
[00:18:50] But on Tuesday, Trump told reporters he was not a fan.
[00:18:59] Mr. Clinton has denied having a close relationship with Epstein.
[00:19:01] But if you look at the New York magazine article that they themselves link to highlight that
[00:19:05] down on Trump, it's, it goes in detail.
[00:19:09] About how they have it specifically like a close relationship.
[00:19:14] I mean, Bill on the flight logs to go to the islands or just to Africa.
[00:19:19] He's, he's on 26 or 27 different flight flight.
[00:19:25] And but it's a statement is like, obviously, you know, it's not an idiot.
[00:19:31] So these, these statements are calculated.
[00:19:33] So it says, President Clinton knows nothing about the terrible crimes.
[00:19:35] Jeffrey Epstein pleaded guilty to in Florida some years ago.
[00:19:38] So that makes it specifically about those crimes.
[00:19:46] Or those which has been recently charged with in New York.
[00:19:48] In 2002 and 2003, President Clinton took a total of four trips on Jeffrey Epstein's airplane,
[00:19:54] one to Europe, one to Asia and two to Africa.
[00:19:56] Damn, these motherfuckers were doing the like, which included stops in connection with,
[00:20:01] with the work of the Clinton Foundation.
[00:20:06] Anthem was about fucking children on every continent.
[00:20:10] And those four trips will obviously include multiple flights.
[00:20:13] So getting to Asia, maybe you have two or three different flights right on the way back.
[00:20:23] So it's not like, oh, we had to connect, you know, go to customs, whatever.
[00:20:27] So, I mean, I'll give you at most, you know, five, five trips for four flight, you know,
[00:20:35] for four, five flights for four trips or whatever.
[00:20:37] That's 20, you know, but then they selectively say 2002 and 2003.
[00:20:43] So those are only covering those years.
[00:20:45] So we can like, you know, we can infer that there are other flights.
[00:20:50] I mean, it's probably from 2000 to 2002 was right after he got off, right after he got
[00:20:54] out of being the president, you know, he was like, you got to get my fill of some little
[00:21:00] One time we go one meeting with Epstein in his Harlem office in 2000, 2000.
[00:21:04] Around the same time made one brief visit to Epstein's New York apartment with the staff
[00:21:11] He's not spoken to Epstein in well over a decade.
[00:21:13] And he has never been the little St. James Island, Epstein's ranch in New Mexico.
[00:21:23] He's not spoken Epstein in well over a decade and has never been to Little St. James Island,
[00:21:28] Epstein's ranch in New Mexico or his residence in Florida, not nor.
[00:21:33] So or means one of the three he hasn't been to.
[00:21:36] No, I know, but that's the way you can.
[00:21:39] This is the fucking depends on what your dad, right?
[00:21:42] He is he's the motherfucker that went is is.
[00:21:49] Slick Willie's oiling himself up for his biggest fucking.
[00:21:51] I mean, there's pictures of Bill Clinton with children.
[00:21:57] I feel like this will be my greatest challenge.
[00:22:02] I feel like calling it Little St. James is like a nice, they probably thought that that
[00:22:06] was kind of a distraction from the fact that from the fact that they were fucking little
[00:22:10] girl, the patron saint of getting pussy from of raping children, they were trying to they
[00:22:17] were trying to say, look up Little St. James.
[00:22:21] Well, St. James is probably no Little St. James is probably a smaller version of him when
[00:22:28] No, I think it's a different saying there's saying there's big James.
[00:22:36] White Ayaka also record Mr. Clinton as being president on a domestic flight in Miami to
[00:22:43] So he's like taking flights from Jeffrey's house in Miami back to Westchester.
[00:22:47] Also, it's in the US Virgin Islands, so you don't need a passport.
[00:22:55] Dude, why did he just says all the kids?
[00:23:01] Well, that's the other thing too, is like people probably are leaving those negative
[00:23:05] reviews now that's true. There's only 66 reviews. Let's read.
[00:23:10] Yeah, see what we got. How do I read the reviews? There's an option. I'm clicking on this.
[00:23:16] Like, oh, yeah, well, yeah, I mean, Bill Clinton definitely. So wait, does George, is George
[00:23:27] so Obama was a gay prostitute? What have happened? What about George Bush? Did he not fuck kids?
[00:23:33] I guess not. This is great. Additionally, New York magazine reported in 2003 that Mr Epstein
[00:23:39] wants to do a dinner party at the house and Mr Clinton's honor. Former president never
[00:23:43] showed but the magazine reported that other guests included Mr Trump, the magician David
[00:23:47] Blaine. Oh, it's Q and on people giving one story. Yeah, I mean, it's not a big one.
[00:23:57] George, you need to check your facts because it was Bill Clinton that was there 23 times,
[00:24:01] not Trump. Please check your facts before you state something that as if it's a fact.
[00:24:06] That's fake news. I only gave it one star because you have to order, you have to in
[00:24:11] order to comment this place. And then it needs an exorcism done. Nice. Big win for the queue
[00:24:21] guys. David Coke was down there too, right? Yeah, basically they're all, you know, they're
[00:24:27] all they're all so funny that people are leaving Google reviews of the child sex. Let's see
[00:24:34] what St. June. The patron saying of fucking children. That's how we're going to crack
[00:24:40] it wide open. Yeah, well, it's he was the first boy not to snitch. That's true. I've
[00:24:45] been getting the same message. It's so funny because like the people you attract by talking
[00:24:49] about this stuff. They're like, the next thing that's going to drop is video of Hillary Clinton
[00:24:54] wearing a child's face. And it's like, what? No, let me stop you right there. Seriously?
[00:25:01] Yeah, let me stop you right there. That's not going to happen. Because not going to be
[00:25:07] no, I mean, it's simple. It's like fucking Bill Clinton is like a horny piece of shit.
[00:25:11] Yeah, which now like 16 year old, none of these people in power could like see this like this
[00:25:19] the same thing only happens because it's the intersection of me to and then fucking Donald
[00:25:23] Trump becoming president. It's like everyone understood that people in power like raped
[00:25:30] basically forever. And that was like embraced is like, that's just how it goes. You know,
[00:25:35] it's like behind closed doors. Bill Clinton is like shoving fucking interns into hotel
[00:25:39] rooms and biting their lips and fucking them and they're like, that's just bill, dude.
[00:25:43] They'll be in bill. This same thing with fucking Harvey Weinstein or like any of these people.
[00:25:49] And then with, you know, with Clinton and then a bunch of them and extends to like, yeah, of
[00:25:53] course, you know, I got to taste for young. Let's get it up a notch. I got to taste for younger
[00:25:57] pussy. It's like David Bowie, fuck the fucking 13 year old. Yeah, it's all of these like boomer
[00:26:03] pieces of shit that they want to be like Jimmy Page, a 12 year old girlfriend, and they feel
[00:26:08] entitled to it. And now that it's like, you know, that's the worst thing in the world. They're like,
[00:26:13] Oh, fuck. Yeah, you know, I mean, it's like almost on par with like them finding out that like
[00:26:17] cigarettes are bad. That's just, yeah, we're gonna talk. We're gonna go have a weekend on
[00:26:23] Jeffrey's Island. Not even thinking about they're probably rationalize. It's like, you know, he pays
[00:26:28] the girl, the young girls that don't really have many options. And he's like paying them. It's better
[00:26:32] him than some pimp in the Bronx. Right. That's right. That's just like how they probably
[00:26:38] justified it to themselves. Damn. So is Epstein gonna get gotten prison, dude?
[00:26:44] Is he gonna hang himself? I mean, you know, I was saying to Tim Dillon, it's like,
[00:26:48] the funniest outcome is that they bring these new charges and they're like,
[00:26:52] six months supervised release. Yeah, he's guilty of it. Everything. Yeah.
[00:26:57] Yeah. He's a lot to work during his job. Who is a hedge fund? No, he knows. That's
[00:27:03] just sex with children. That's his job. I guess he paid people pay to have sex with kids on his
[00:27:08] island. Is that is that where you're probably? Yeah. So wait, but he didn't have like a business or
[00:27:12] something. He's a rich. No, he's a hedge fund manager. Damn. But no billionaires are squealing
[00:27:18] right now about who his clients were for obvious reasons. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:27:23] Oh, Merita, dude, the code of science. I would lose respect for them, honestly. Absolutely.
[00:27:30] I hate the police. They just tick me off. Jeffrey Epstein is about to snitch. And they bring in his
[00:27:38] his cousin from Israel, just like God, father to you. He's about to flip on everyone.
[00:27:50] Damn. Yeah. Well, so you got who? So do you think every president
[00:27:58] has fuck children? Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln, for sure. Yeah. I think people said
[00:28:05] that that he was a pedophile. No, people say he got his thighs fucked by his boy. Oh, well,
[00:28:10] Greek style Greek style. Yeah. That's just bonding. Wasn't there in the Spielberg movie, there was
[00:28:15] like a weird scene with like boys where he was telling them like how much he cares about them and
[00:28:21] stuff. Damn. I thought the implication was that I think Tony Kushner wrote it. Is that why
[00:28:26] implication was that he was a pedophile? Is that why his wife was so sad? Yeah, she went crazy.
[00:28:31] She couldn't compete with Boypussy. 18th century boy. Well, he had to get away from her somehow.
[00:28:42] Bitch, if you keep nagging me, I'm going to fuck boys. Yeah. It's really her fault and Hillary's
[00:28:48] fault. George Washington, did he put leeches on a little boy's ass? Nah, dude. George Washington
[00:28:53] was chill. He was he was really tall. He was a red head. He was a ginger. He was ginger. Yeah,
[00:29:02] young George George Washington is kind of cute. All we see is the old motherfucker past this prime.
[00:29:07] We don't see young Buck G Dub with that fucking with those red ass pubes just absolutely destroying
[00:29:14] Martha's pussy. Yeah. You think George Washington ever had doggy style sex? Oh, no, he didn't. But
[00:29:22] Jefferson invented Jefferson. They would all fuck that way. They would do where they, you know,
[00:29:27] stand like this. Oh, yeah. Like he's crossing the Delaware. Yeah, that's how you fuck the
[00:29:35] all the time. Yeah. One foot up. No, no, it's like doing like a plie. Yes. Yes. Yes.
[00:29:42] By hand, by hand. A very masculine way to stand. Yeah. That's so fun. I was saying to somebody else,
[00:29:48] it's like all those guys, I said, when I did that, man, Shane saying, it's like all those guys just
[00:29:53] look like faggots. Yeah. Just like the biggest like like a big thing back then. The reason they
[00:29:58] would wear those socks is because having like, like nice calves was a thing. And they would go
[00:30:04] around and being like, you know, Charles, I do say, your calves look like absolute dog shit.
[00:30:11] You were supposed to have alabaster calves, just nice, pure as the driven snow. Nice. Yeah.
[00:30:18] Like like, like, because you couldn't, you know, the calves are, it's pretty much you're like
[00:30:22] genetically bound by the limits of what I did not hit the lottery myself. Yeah. I mean,
[00:30:29] you could do, you could do calf work every fucking day of your life and maybe add like
[00:30:32] an inch and a half to your. Yeah. I'm like Millhouse in those future Simpsons episodes,
[00:30:37] remember? That's that time when Millhouse gets ripped. Yeah. You can't get calves.
[00:30:43] I'm trying to get big calves. I guess my question is when I was a thing back then for them,
[00:30:48] they dress like fags, but it's like any one of those dudes would fuck you up. Oh, yeah, dude.
[00:30:52] Well, they were schooled in hand to hand combat. Well, they did. And they don't. Yeah. I mean,
[00:30:56] they like fought the crowd and like, yeah, no, that was the point I made is like, you got somebody
[00:31:02] pissed you off. You'd be like, do you want to shoot each other? I'm a fire gun at you for 10 feet away.
[00:31:11] Damn. And they had a little swords and shit too. That's pretty cool. So I guess that's, when do
[00:31:18] you think people started riding dick though? Like was like, again, was Martha Washington riding cock?
[00:31:24] Probably forever. There's nothing new that we're doing. Yeah, we haven't invented any new sex.
[00:31:29] Sure. There was a trans governor of New York. That is true. He was hot. She was hot. Yeah,
[00:31:36] victorious cousin. Well, I'll tell you what they didn't have. What's that Nick? If your dick
[00:31:42] wouldn't get hard back then. Whoa, you were kind of you were shit out of luck. They could give you
[00:31:48] some some tinctures and powders and shit. Yeah. But nothing would work.
[00:31:52] Do we are they back in the mix? What? Yeah. They're talking about. Oh, no, I just got another offer
[00:32:02] from a different screen. Well, well, well, our old friends are back to keep our cocks hard. Yeah,
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[00:32:52] I would love a peg deck. A peg deck. It's like it's you get like three inches and then it's cut
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[00:34:59] That's right. Things which is still good. Are you doing a meme? Yeah, I'm trying to think
[00:35:04] when it's not later. I don't know. You know where it's like that woman's
[00:35:08] see and then this one's the new one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. Yeah. Everyone knows
[00:35:14] that shit, man. That kind of stuff. Imagine like having the impulse to be like, I'm going to make
[00:35:17] a meme. And I know I've made things, but I've never thought to myself I'm going to make a meme.
[00:35:23] Well, you became a meme when you found that bird. You became a nerd ass meme. You were like, I'm
[00:35:27] like, oh, yeah, but that's not he can't control that. It's just getting like black heart emojis
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[00:35:40] Witch of Wendy's. And I am like, sorry, I gotta take my blue shoes. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Just
[00:35:48] talking to you is making my car. My dick is getting soft and small. Where I'm. Oh, where I'm
[00:35:53] tracking into my body. Yeah. I'm having a dick episode. I need my blue tube bill. Like an epipen.
[00:36:00] Yeah. It's like quick. His dick is getting too soft. That's one of the other things we be
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[00:37:04] Exactly the way he was in medical school. Just clicking on fucking button over and over again.
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[00:38:35] Let's fuck the show. Let's fuck my ass. Lewis had me on real last podcast just to argue with him
[00:38:40] about his stupid poker point. Again, about his what? Wait, was it about poker? No, it was about
[00:38:46] he's about having a tweet. And he was like, he's like, if you don't have a care to a business
[00:38:51] and a friend named Dave, in your opinion, is less valid on most issues. And he's like, wait on
[00:38:58] molestation on most issues. Oh, and then he says the stinger on it is, if you don't have any chips
[00:39:06] on the table, you're just somebody watching the game. Oh my God, talking about poker,
[00:39:11] which is probably bad. Yeah. But you know, I was like, to be fair, I did misread his argument
[00:39:23] initially. And I thought he was saying that if you don't have those things, you shouldn't be
[00:39:26] commenting on things that affect those issues. You know, like, you don't have a kid, you shouldn't
[00:39:30] be talking about a kid. And it was like, well, you would make this argument with a woman, you know,
[00:39:35] a woman says there's sexism and comedy. You wouldn't, you know, you would argue. Yeah, it's like, well,
[00:39:40] you have less, you would argue. Yeah. And then, and then he did, I guess what he meant to say was that
[00:39:46] if you don't have those things, then your opinion is less valid on any issue.
[00:39:55] Listen, if you don't own property, you can't vote, bitch. Yeah. If you don't own property and
[00:39:59] have a child. Well, it's such a simple thing. It's like the loser doesn't make any sense. Yeah.
[00:40:04] You know, it's like that. The second thing is so
[00:40:06] can you a Twitter argument? Theoretically, yeah, like basically any issue should be solved with
[00:40:13] like thoughts. Yeah. Right. The aren't dependent on like the underlying individuals. Right. It's
[00:40:19] just this is the best course for things to take. So the stake of the people involved,
[00:40:25] right, bears no fucking weight on what the correct argument is. And he's like, what are you talking
[00:40:30] about? I don't know how to make it anymore. Basically. I really don't know how to make it
[00:40:36] any simpler. And then he's like, all right, I guess we could say the N word for the last 20
[00:40:41] minutes. Yeah. I guess we'll fail time by being racist. And he's like, no, business owners.
[00:40:46] He's like, I'll be, you know, he's like, in the example, like something came up later is a Disney
[00:40:50] refused to let some like dead father put Mickey Mouse on his son's headstone. Because it did like
[00:40:57] whoever like corporate at Disney was like, I don't tarnish our image. We don't want you know,
[00:41:01] shit on a gravestone. And it's like, you know, I was like, so Lewis, you agree as the business
[00:41:06] owners of Disney that they had the right take because this man doesn't have a child anymore.
[00:41:10] So he's out. Yeah. Yeah. Once he loses his child, he's done. Oh, that's a good point.
[00:41:15] If you're losing an argument with someone, just kill their child. I'm sorry. Is it your son?
[00:41:20] Dan? I just remembered. I don't know. Oh, the Sandy Hook guys. I mean, shut the fuck up.
[00:41:25] Really? How about gunning? Really? Nothing happens to Lewis's kid.
[00:41:29] But if baby James ever dies, I cannot, I cannot wait to go and realize podcast. Well, Lewis,
[00:41:36] you said, hold on, Lewis. I currently have a cure son is dead. So now your opinion is less
[00:41:45] valid. He's issues. Oh God. What a beautiful mind that guy has. It's amazing. Yeah, it really is
[00:41:54] amazing. Sometimes I'm just a hustler. Yeah. It's like he doesn't even really understand what he's
[00:42:03] saying as he's saying, which his arguments kind of reveal him to reveal themselves to him as he's
[00:42:10] saying them almost as if he's like playing a scratch off lottery.
[00:42:16] In his own mind. He's like, no, dude, cucumber, coconut. And then I pair that with the five.
[00:42:22] And that's how I win five. Oh, I guess I don't win five dollars.
[00:42:26] Listen, man, I'm all for never thinking and just saying shit and figuring out you don't
[00:42:31] agree with yourself as it has podcasting. That's podcasting, baby. The second you make like,
[00:42:37] like poker analogies, Kenny Rogers style analogies. That's really
[00:42:42] what I'm trying to get to the territory. No one to fuck them. Damn. Some fucking no limit. Hold them,
[00:42:50] baby. Yeah, I'm fucking Doyle Bronson. I'm a motherfucking Phil Ivy, bitch. I it's shitty to find
[00:42:57] out that I never one hates gambling is also a problem for me now. Yeah. And I can't do that either.
[00:43:02] I just can't have fun because I have too much of it. I know. For the detriment of myself. You're
[00:43:07] so obsessed with fun. Yeah. You're like a fan. I know I'm like that really honestly. Yes. Yes.
[00:43:14] Well, that's why gaming is the only solution. Anything anything I touch. It's like I bought,
[00:43:19] I was like, I'm going to let myself get PlayStation. Then a month later, it's like,
[00:43:22] I got the PSVR. Yeah. You know, it's like I'm not like, I'm in myself out playing it for like five
[00:43:27] minutes. And then I can't, you know, I just can't enjoy anything. Right. Which kind of
[00:43:32] keeps moving? There's a Batman game. You got to keep moving. That's the thing, man. If I like,
[00:43:36] if I had if I had Jeffrey Epstein money, I would just be that kid from blank check.
[00:43:42] Which by the way, it was just a million dollars. Yeah. He bought way too much stuff.
[00:43:46] Yeah. There's no way you get all that shit. Only gave him a million dollars. Wasn't the
[00:43:51] premise of that movie, you could just type like someone's name on a check. Yeah. It starts off.
[00:43:57] It would be a valid legal tender. He gets a check from his grandma for his birthday and they're like,
[00:44:01] Oh, I guess grandma forgot to write the money amount on there because she's an old dumb bitch.
[00:44:05] And I was like, what does that mean? He's like, he's just writing whatever you want.
[00:44:09] And then he finds a blank check from the criminals. That's right played by George Clooney's cousin.
[00:44:17] Criminals doing white collar crimes. Who's that? That guy like Miguel. Miguel Clooney.
[00:44:23] No, Miguel, like Clooney is Hispanic Martin. No, but his cousin is.
[00:44:28] He's fucking the Spanish side Martinez. Yeah. Miguel Martinez. Is he as hot as Clooney? No,
[00:44:34] no, this is this is a politician. Oh, George Clooney's cousin. What's his fucking name? No,
[00:44:40] he's got like a Mexican name. Emilio Esto as that is a weird because isn't it Rosemary Clooney
[00:44:45] related to them? Who's that probably? Yeah. Miguel, uh, Ferrell. Ferrell. Ferrer. Ferrer.
[00:44:55] Ferrer. Yeah. Ferar. Rocher. No, Ferrer. Ferrer was born in Santa Monica, California,
[00:45:02] the oldest of five Children of Academy Award winning actor Jose Ferrer and singer Rosemary
[00:45:06] Clooney. Rosemary Clooney is his, his George on oned. Nice.
[00:45:11] Gelfur. He has rosemary Clooney. Damn Miguel Ferrer really did not live up to the foot.
[00:45:15] George got all the good genes. Yeah. Even though he looked at the two of them together. Oh, damn.
[00:45:23] That's a rough genetic lottery, right? Miguel Ferrer's got a cool voice though. Does he? Yeah.
[00:45:28] What does he? Is it like a deep? We're gonna, we're gonna fucking kill Robocop.
[00:45:33] First we're gonna have sex with Robocop and then kill him.
[00:45:36] Let's reboot blank check, but he gets pussy from the lady. Yeah. What do you think? What lady?
[00:45:42] Was it like he was a personal assistant or something? I don't know. I thought he had a
[00:45:46] chauffeur that became his friend. I'm gonna start, I'm gonna start doctoring check and then we're
[00:45:51] like a, like a very obvious like disguise to the bank. You know, like he's like clearly like
[00:45:59] prosthetics. You're just huge war nose. Like a huge sunglasses and then like a mustache. It's like
[00:46:07] just over top of your regular mustache. And then you just hand them the check where everything's
[00:46:12] filled out, but in the payment amount, it just says gay sex.
[00:46:15] Get sex with a teller. Hand it over to the male teller and be like, I want to
[00:46:25] and they're like, what? I would like to excuse me. They're like, what do you say? I'm like, I
[00:46:31] I'm sorry. I left my car running. I just run out. They run out. Just start crying. Just run out of
[00:46:38] the bank. Just start doing that all across the country. Until one of them had sex with you. The
[00:46:44] FBI has like build a profile. Catch me if you can. This guy to have gay sex with the
[00:46:52] they're calling him the world's best crib. I don't know what happened. Handing me a check and by the
[00:46:59] next thing I knew I was giving him head. Could you just cast check please? Just please make it quick.
[00:47:06] Please. Guy, I look, if this is going to be a problem, I have to go outside to call the police
[00:47:15] myself. I'm going, I'm going, you know what, you keep that I'm leaving.
[00:47:22] Put your phone number on the back. Just if you change your mind.
[00:47:27] This is no, this is a real check from business. Yeah, I got it. This is a paycheck from my
[00:47:31] business. It's just it's from a different bank. It's from Bank of America. You're a
[00:47:35] your boss gave it to me. It's just it's from this bank. Yeah.
[00:47:44] No, I don't know what you mean. I think it's everything's right right there. It seems to be in order.
[00:47:50] Let's go ahead and just get this check cash. Please.
[00:47:55] What's that scenario? He doesn't even want the money. He just wants to have no money. There's no
[00:48:00] money. It just says, just go ahead and get this transaction. Okay. In the letters part,
[00:48:08] you write gay sex. Do you also just write gay sex in the numbers part? Yes. Okay. Or just leave
[00:48:13] it blank. Okay. Just to check this big fake like Scrooge McDuck signature.
[00:48:19] A publisher's clearing house. And then when it doesn't work, you come back a week later in the
[00:48:25] same disguise, but with one of those giant novelty checks, like I got a different check. I won.
[00:48:31] Actually, I've never been here before. What are you talking about? This is my I'm out from out of
[00:48:35] town. This is from a charity that I won. I won this. There was a charity I won. And now I'm
[00:48:44] listening. Can we get this transaction? Yeah, let's go ahead and dial this in.
[00:48:49] I don't know what needs to be done. Everybody on the fucking ground.
[00:48:53] You start robbing banks that of gay sex. I'm not going to fucking say it again.
[00:49:00] That's they called it the town. It was a different part of Boston.
[00:49:07] Almost the exact office of the South. Over in Northie, they was having gay sex.
[00:49:13] Northie, they back in the day. Just another way of saying we had each other.
[00:49:25] The nights of Columbus were true faggers. Put it on suits of art.
[00:49:32] Fucking each other in the air. Real head givers. They'd roll in the banks and take whatever they
[00:49:39] wanted. The gay sex behind the counter. That's the thing that don't realize.
[00:49:47] Okay, cut. You know, I like that the gay sex stuff that Jack, but if we can still lose the
[00:49:53] end word, I don't want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to have gay sex with me.
[00:50:12] Oh, give me soul. Fuck me till I get age. I want to get fucked. Oh, fucking day.
[00:50:32] I want to suck your dick. I'm going to suck your dick.
[00:50:44] That's the thing. Straight people don't realize.
[00:50:47] It's not about. It's not about waiting to have sex. It's about taking it when you want it.
[00:50:56] Yup. The gay sex started. The gay the fuck off the gay the ass fuck did.
[00:51:04] I wish I could remember more lines from that movie.
[00:51:06] From that monologue. Yeah, there's other there's other things in the movie.
[00:51:11] We says that at one point it's funny because it's like micro process.
[00:51:18] Just turn this into a Boston podcast. The Boston Tea Party.
[00:51:22] From now on, it's a Boston podcast. We only talk about Boston podcast.
[00:51:28] Joe Carson, I am going to suck him. I'm going to fucking suck his cork.
[00:51:33] You big poppy. I'm going to suck his cork. Get better. David Ortiz.
[00:51:38] I'll suck your cork if it'll help you get better.
[00:51:40] I heard that the place where the bullet went until he's letting guys come in there.
[00:51:46] Nah, I mean, you're paying enough money. I'll let you let you fuck that whole.
[00:51:50] The man's alleged. You know, they call him big poppy.
[00:51:54] I was always wondering is that because he has a big penis?
[00:51:59] Not. No, I mean, I was just wondering that.
[00:52:00] I'll take my question off the thank you.
[00:52:02] I'll go ahead and I'll email it to him.
[00:52:05] And if he wants to email me back, I think that would be pretty cool on his part.
[00:52:10] He's everyone says it would a class act.
[00:52:15] Yeah, you ever see that movie, the town?
[00:52:19] Me and my friends will like that. But instead of robbing banks,
[00:52:23] We got about baseball plays. We wanted to blow.
[00:52:29] Brady. Tom Brady. I want to suck his cork.
[00:52:35] They love like talking about how much pussy he gets.
[00:52:39] That is a certain like the ladies. They love Tom.
[00:52:42] I know someone I know a guy from boss news like if my girlfriend fucks Tom Brady,
[00:52:47] she's got a like he preemptively gives her a pass to fuck Tom Brady.
[00:52:52] He doesn't say what that she wants to fuck.
[00:52:54] I would be an honor to get his dick residue on my dick residue.
[00:52:59] Oh, yeah, it would be honor and an honor to be sitting in dockers in a hotel room
[00:53:06] Well, I had a while my I would love to be wearing spares top side as well Tom Brady
[00:53:20] The outfits that they dressed the I want to I'm going to want that's going to be my next career
[00:53:24] move, dude. It's to just be the cuck just sitting there with my arms.
[00:53:29] They're not their real girlfriends. Are they they just play the no?
[00:53:33] Are they supposed to they don't even act upset really they're like, oh,
[00:53:45] I am absolutely not sucking the bull's dick,
[00:53:47] but I'll get close to her sucking his dick and frown.
[00:54:07] That's your next thing you're going to get obsessed with.
[00:54:12] So like the cats not fucking bored all day long.
[00:54:15] I think we're getting a cat cat in Baltimore.
[00:54:17] I can't get another animal because my dog will eat it.
[00:54:29] Mm-hmm. I'll be in my office and she'll just sit there staring at me for hours.
[00:54:38] Well, cats are nice because they like throughout the course of the day,
[00:54:40] they like have arguments and like disputes and then they resolve them.
[00:54:45] They have like a pretty rich social life with another cat.
[00:54:51] When you have two cats, they fuck around.
[00:54:58] It was so fun to give each other some space.
[00:55:04] And then occasionally you would just see Phyllis trapped in the bathroom and Ernest
[00:55:08] like hanging out at the threshold of the room and then going in there and hearing her like,
[00:55:15] she would go in there and just fuck her up and come out and sit at the door and like,
[00:55:31] Would you get cats like, no, she's been spayed.
[00:55:37] You also don't want to have like a non-neutered boycott because it'll piss everywhere.
[00:55:44] My brother's better of neutered that motherfucker.
[00:55:47] Well, when they start blasting, there's like, you know, I don't know what the date.
[00:55:53] There's like, he was, he was fucking a pair of gym shorts on mine.
[00:56:05] He was cute though, but he was very cute.
[00:56:16] You, Joyce would just be yelling at me while I was like,
[00:56:19] petting it backwards and getting a little riled up.
[00:56:26] He was freaking out of a bottle of like,
[00:56:35] Just trying to, just scratching its stomach
[00:56:41] He's not drunk so I couldn't feel anything.
[00:56:44] He'd wake up the next day with scratches everywhere.
[00:56:55] It's like, what, the cat's already misbeheaded.
[00:56:57] This is like a feral animal in your house.
[00:57:08] When you, when you forcibly take a cat like that,
[00:57:10] put it on its back and start rubbing its stomach
[00:57:23] Maybe babbling it out with a gazelle or something.
[00:57:29] Oh, I would love to see a gorilla V tiger fight.
[00:57:50] But yeah, maybe, I think it was Primal Fury.
[00:57:54] You have to have sex with the guy if you beat him.
[00:58:06] that's literally a Black Mirror, right?
[00:58:12] And then every time he walks by a mirror,
[00:58:28] When he looks at his hand without the mirror.
[00:59:17] I don't know the rest of the song, but...
[00:59:24] Down, down, down, down, down, down, down,
[00:59:28] Down, down, down, down, down, down, down.
[00:59:30] So yeah, that's something for you guys to think about.
[00:59:37] I want to go to jail this year for shining a laser pointer
[00:59:45] Because you do it and then they can see your house.
[00:59:57] You should do it on a hang glider, bro.
[01:00:04] Yeah, I'm going to start fucking around with lasers.
[01:00:20] Doing this t-shirt stuff has been great for me.
[01:00:25] Handling things when you ask for a routine.
[01:00:31] I mean, it's more of a hate-hate relationship with the post office, but...
[01:00:38] And you put like 50 shirts into a duffel bag.
[01:00:41] In those packages, it makes me feel like a heroin.
[01:00:47] It's just the ariel monster's guy with his...
[01:00:58] Well, anyways, we got some candidate dates coming up.
[01:01:18] It's in an Olympic pool that we've drained.
[01:01:34] And it's like Ben had everything in the world going for.
[01:02:12] I would love to give that labia a little...
[01:02:25] Actually, it's a different bitch that I thought, but...
[01:02:41] What would you do if a huge titted woman with a fat pussy?
[01:02:46] Let me just look up real quick for Erika Christensen's breast.
[01:02:50] And she somehow framed you for using steroids to get you kicked off the swimming team.
[01:02:56] She got plastic surgery to make her titties even bigger.
[01:03:05] in which we put the woman under and I ejaculate into her breasts.
[01:03:08] Well, I gotta say, not a lot of new words on the internet.
[01:03:12] Yeah, Erika Christensen stars as the fat pussy dog face bitch in sperm fan.
[01:03:38] if you were in a teen movie in a crazy party animal,
[01:03:43] Is that when they say the N word a bunch?
[01:03:46] Yeah, that's what the movie is about is that they can't wait to say it.
[01:03:59] I watched Mystery Man again the other night.
[01:04:03] I've been having a real like 1998 phase.
[01:04:07] It feels like probably seven million movies came out in 1998.
[01:04:22] Now the first Austin Powers was like...
[01:04:33] because I made my family go to the theater to see the spy shag.
[01:04:36] I remember when the first Austin Powers movie came out
[01:04:38] because before my parents got divorced and my parents were like,
[01:04:41] we're going to go to the movies together.
[01:04:44] I don't have to hang out with you anymore together.
[01:04:51] This was like the one time they decided we're going to go on a date
[01:04:53] and what they did was go to see Austin Powers.
[01:05:01] Well, I'm going to be in Southern California in late August.
[01:05:10] Fat Stavi will be in Rochester, August 3rd.
[01:05:16] So I'll be in Boston on the 16th and the 17th.
[01:05:20] I'll be in Oakland on the 24th and I'll be in Seattle
[01:05:24] Stop in a bread line and you know how to do the thing with two midgets
[01:05:28] So I was the opposite thing where he paints seven different people on a party.
[01:05:33] He's like, oh, no, I'm seven different people.
[01:05:44] You just you go completely new and you paint the trench coat open,
[01:05:47] exposing a bunch of children stacked up on your legs and arms.
[01:05:54] So and then please come to the stand come see us at funny moms every Monday.
[01:05:59] Oh, yeah. There's no funny moms this Monday because they have a pre scheduled event.
[01:06:03] But the next two Mondays and the month we are on.
[01:06:05] So the 15th we are off the 22nd and 29th and come to the stand every Tuesday at 830