Cum Town | Regular | 07/25/2019
[00:00:25] So, look at me like drug, but it's like my penis like drug, but it's like my penis
[00:00:38] Hey, welcome to come to hello everyone and welcome to come town boys.
[00:00:45] Look, oh, it's fake, but I got you fake.
[00:00:51] I didn't notice it until you said that, but you're 200.
[00:01:09] You just made a pat sound on your thigh with it.
[00:01:19] It's really weird to actually stop going like my 600 pound life in the Iranian guys.
[00:01:25] So the Iranian guys, he's come here because he wants his penises to smell.
[00:01:31] He wants his penises to lick their ear, so we are going to cut his stomach off.
[00:01:37] But first, he needs to spend three weeks not eating pizza rolls, so we are going to film
[00:01:43] him maybe being bad, have won, maybe to pizza roll, and to cry.
[00:01:48] And we videotape him cry, and then we put it on TV.
[00:01:52] And then he come back, and when he come back, we say, you are very bad fat boy.
[00:02:08] Every single episode of the show should just be called San Antonio.
[00:02:13] I mean, all of those gastric bypass centers are in the text.
[00:02:17] I mean, they always go to the same one in like Houston or whatever.
[00:02:19] And it's some guy that's like imram nazar adada.
[00:02:23] You know, he's just some Iranian guy that only does gastric bypass stuff.
[00:02:30] He's got this like reserved affect, and he's always like, you know, she has a very fat.
[00:02:35] I remember there's one day there was a stop goes on the show and he's like, yeah, I'm just
[00:02:44] And then they do, he loses all the weight and he still has a small dick.
[00:02:48] And then the doctors like, well, it has been a success at least in terms of prolonging
[00:03:03] Gaining back all of the weight plus 400 pounds.
[00:03:06] And it's cut to a shitty house in Texas with no furniture.
[00:03:14] They always have someone that's like, like a mother who like lost the last.
[00:03:23] Always look like the houses I'd like go hang out in.
[00:03:26] And when I lived in Austin, it would just be like four comedians that rented a family
[00:03:33] So it's like they got like a TV, a playstation and then like something like a couch.
[00:03:41] The TV on the floor, the couch stolen from Renisoner and then maybe like, yo, check out this like
[00:03:54] Then it's just all plastic plates all over the place.
[00:04:00] Trash bags and tower cans to be found anywhere.
[00:04:04] I still have a giant contractor bag right behind you.
[00:04:13] I try to do a regular kitchen bag and then I end up just throwing it in the contractor bag
[00:04:17] and it's like, let's just go trash bag in the middle of the apartment.
[00:04:22] I do remember, I do recall this being here when you were cleaning up.
[00:04:25] And then then there was a time where it never went away.
[00:04:29] It's not part of the geography of the apartment.
[00:04:31] Right behind the couch on the left side.
[00:04:40] I used to, me and Chris lived together.
[00:04:49] Dude, I wish I could have seen that apartment with my own eyes.
[00:04:54] It was, I mean, it was good when I was there and then there was like a noticeable haze when
[00:05:05] And now after I moved out of the Solaris because Chris, the electricity would get shut.
[00:05:11] He had just like an extension cord running into like the vacant apartment next door.
[00:05:18] How do you use the microwave or the stuff?
[00:05:23] I guess the stuff is probably games also.
[00:05:27] I had one for his PC and one for the TV.
[00:05:41] I don't know if you would say, well, I've only met him a couple of times, but I love the
[00:05:44] idea that his peak drunk-ass you was more responsible than him.
[00:05:49] Drunk-ass you being the one keeping order in an apartment is a hysterical idea.
[00:05:56] Just not, I didn't eat as much as he did because he was fat.
[00:05:58] So he would naturally make a bigger mess than I would.
[00:06:03] Throw bottles against the wall and be broken glass all over the apartment.
[00:06:17] Just fucking throw just decks of cards.
[00:06:43] You in a trench coat walking down Austin in the middle of the summer throwing cards at women
[00:07:11] But he's that fat, like bearded Jewish.
[00:07:14] You know, it kind of looks like the comic book store guy from the Simpsons.
[00:07:30] Oh, I think I know who you mean in Boogie Nights.
[00:07:39] American magician is what it comes up as.
[00:07:48] He's in some of the best movies of all time.
[00:07:51] The Hothash known professionally as Ricky J was the American stage magician actor Biblio file
[00:08:02] So this we could be in the likes books.
[00:08:14] Ricky J. sounds like a fake Indian name.
[00:08:17] If you called if you called the car call center.
[00:08:21] My name is Ricky J. with Verizon and I'm here to have you.
[00:08:32] I think Ricky J could just be an Indian guy's name actually.
[00:08:35] What if his name is Dick Suck Dickey Gay?
[00:08:39] His first credit is the Tonight Show with Carson and I.
[00:08:47] Sorry, I missed that one because it was an Indian guy's voice.
[00:08:53] You've transitioned into just doing the show as an Indian guy.
[00:08:58] I'm going to get into Bali casting or where Bali fishing where Bali was.
[00:09:15] Well, what the fuck is your explanation then?
[00:09:24] I know it's not Baghdad, but I mean, I know it's not Bali also.
[00:09:40] They're going to have their own fucking podcasting world.
[00:09:47] You're listening to a dotted drop house.
[00:10:15] I am the one who has a notebook and says things.
[00:10:26] It's like what if his name was Sāqdikigai.
[00:10:35] Everything or they just make that shit bootleg.
[00:10:39] But no, they make like versions of American movies.
[00:10:49] So we will do the same podcast, but instead of Adri, it's we do dancing.
[00:11:10] You just got to get into the diet zone, brother.
[00:11:17] But I will say, I like it, but I'm not even a regular lemon-snapple guy.
[00:11:22] So that's the actual flavor is holding me back way more than the diet.
[00:11:29] Yeah, I'm a peach-snapple guy and I got a variety pack.
[00:11:44] And they have a tires center and a gas station.
[00:11:58] I ride my fucking bike down there sometimes.
[00:12:10] You're talking about some faggot museum.
[00:12:13] What else do you have to say about the Gucci Museum?
[00:12:19] I don't support some Japanese guy who thinks it's funny to do.
[00:12:26] Yeah, it's pretty fucking racist of you Adam.
[00:12:29] It's like I'm going to make a museum about these people.
[00:12:36] I'm going to make a museum about how bitch they are.
[00:12:52] It's a Japanese man that came up with the Japanese way to say the inward.
[00:13:10] I was laughing at the idea at the other day about being like some upper middle class college professor that has an adopted Asian son because they always adopt.
[00:13:24] Because they wait too long to just call Adam's apple and tea that's just you.
[00:13:36] That is like Korean son is now a teenager and he's using the N word of his dad.
[00:13:43] Son Moon, could you just calm down for a second?
[00:13:49] You ain't mom daddy and she ain't my mama.
[00:14:00] Now those guys are always named Matthew or whatever.
[00:14:03] No no but I feel like the professor would give them an ethnically appropriate man.
[00:14:07] Not even keep his, they would maybe, they would keep it.
[00:14:19] But at home he sun moon gumdrop whatever his dumb Korean name is.
[00:14:37] Dude, I miss those, those Acura Asian kids.
[00:14:40] Those like break dancing, like devil locks.
[00:14:43] Do you remember that, like the kids in my school
[00:14:44] had those like two like long devil locks?
[00:14:50] Maybe it was the devil lock was in the middle.
[00:14:52] Yeah, the devil lock was in the middle.
[00:14:53] They would have like one that was on either side.
[00:14:56] which is where you play Final Fantasy 15.
[00:14:58] You're like, who still looks like this?
[00:14:59] And then we went to Japan, I'm like, damn.
[00:15:10] And there was just like this quiet Korean girl
[00:15:32] Look, look how I would use double the butter
[00:15:37] It's creative to change the ingredients.
[00:15:55] I was just talking about that Korean girl,
[00:16:03] her like personal essays were all about,
[00:16:15] there were guys in the community that were like famous
[00:16:26] and it was getting fucked up and it was cool.
[00:16:28] Dude, I was in a creative writing class in college
[00:16:49] and like an Hermes scarf like tied around his head.
[00:16:56] called the price of fabulousness that like,
[00:17:02] this is the craziest thing I've ever read.
[00:17:07] So I read it and it's like this mundane,
[00:17:20] you know, like trying to put details in like very bad writing.
[00:17:31] he's like, he gets a phone call and he's like,
[00:17:45] He's just like, he's not going to get AIDS tests regularly.
[00:17:53] and then it just gets super psychedelic.
[00:17:59] And like, there's like one side of him that's angry.
[00:18:01] There's the version of me that tells people I have.
[00:18:12] go back to the title and it's called the price of fabulousness.
[00:18:13] And like, if you think about it, what he's basically saying is the price of fabulousness
[00:18:26] some guy dressed like Corella Deville turning in an essay about do I or donut?
[00:18:44] He looked like he had like a pointy ass face.
[00:18:53] Then you, then you can kill any woman you want.
[00:19:44] No, Pongo's the dad dalmatian of the 101 Dalmatians.
[00:19:57] And then Pongo had that magic stick and then she shit out 101 Dalmatians.
[00:20:04] And then Pongo is the male dog and I forget the bitch's name.
[00:20:10] The bitch is using it in an appropriate context actually.
[00:20:23] So, you know, it's not really that much of a, for a dog pussy it is.
[00:20:31] Yeah, that was kind of a very graphic thing to put in a children's movie.
[00:20:38] A POV shot from the, from the, uh, veterinarian view.
[00:20:44] What women's pussies tear during a group.
[00:20:50] Which there should be like a girl version of him.
[00:21:20] I heard that the new Lion King is a disaster.
[00:21:23] It's a fucking video game cutscene looking like it doesn't make any sense.
[00:21:30] Like, what do you mean you dumb motherfucker?
[00:21:39] But I'll just like, no, I don't care about that.
[00:21:51] So instead of Roger just being a musician, which he was in the animated one, now he's
[00:22:12] I said he's a musician in the first movie and you assumed it was Adrian Brody.
[00:22:20] Because he was a musician in other movies.
[00:22:23] No, it's because he looks like Roger in real life.
[00:22:29] That you know is the name of the movie too.
[00:22:33] Doesn't Roger the cartoon character look like Adrian Brody?
[00:22:38] He's got a taller skinny, but I don't think it's a nose.
[00:22:48] Because that named after how you would describe her pussy.
[00:23:04] Yes, some homeless man in the park said she had a Purdy pussy.
[00:23:16] He looks like the guy sitting in the hotel room during the cook scene.
[00:23:20] Yeah, he's like wearing like a slacks and a sweater vest.
[00:23:25] He's got when he has dark hair, he looks like Adrian Brody.
[00:23:31] Why does he have, why does he change his hair?
[00:23:34] I don't know, but he looks like Adrian Brody.
[00:23:37] Yeah, he looks like some British retard.
[00:23:39] One of the 10,000 British retards in film.
[00:23:46] If you're listening right now, you're British.
[00:23:49] If you're ethnically British, whatever that means.
[00:23:52] Take one of those big furry fucking hats, those red motherfuckers, where I put them
[00:23:58] So pick up a hammer from the hardware store and smash it against your face until the
[00:24:08] We had an exchange student from England.
[00:24:30] Yeah, everyone jacks off to everything, dude.
[00:24:40] There's there's Corella getting fucked by dogs.
[00:24:44] There's Corella just taking a regular load.
[00:24:47] Have you guys seen that one old lady with silver hair that has been doing pornography
[00:24:54] What's her name, the bitch from Boogie Nights?
[00:25:03] My wife is getting fucked on the floor.
[00:25:08] Yeah, she's like belongs to a temple in Vegas and she's very active in the cinema.
[00:25:17] Dude, you know your dad tried to get sucked off on the sneaker.
[00:25:23] It's Corella Deville as a female lion fucking scar who's also Captain Hook.
[00:25:40] Corella and Captain Hook by the pirate queen on DeviantArt.
[00:25:51] Latin as a girl lion fucking Hades from Hercules.
[00:26:23] One of the great popes of my life is I would cause a fucking controversy in Agriba.
[00:26:52] It's woody from Toy Story Lion eyes, but it's just Simba with a cowboy hat.
[00:27:01] Maybe he's got the cowboy boot that says Andy on it.
[00:27:09] Jafar and Scar would have some good ass gay lion sex, dude.
[00:27:12] Let's see if there's any pictures of that.
[00:27:15] Those two are soul mates as far as I'm concerned.
[00:27:19] And they would flip flop too, by the way.
[00:27:26] Here is Scar having gay sex with some unnamed partner that's not featured in the movie.
[00:27:39] Like one of those people that like doesn't, like you're so autistic they can't even speak.
[00:27:44] She's just like spending all day making her incredible lion sex scenes.
[00:27:50] The problem with this one is though, you don't see any lion cock or pussy.
[00:27:55] They're PG 13, which is a big issue for me deviant art wise.
[00:28:09] They have to like go hunting and stuff.
[00:28:11] So when it fucks with your pride, you got to step up.
[00:28:14] But most of the day you just sleep, but you don't step up.
[00:28:21] So you just wish you were a different human.
[00:28:23] I'm saying I want to be a lion, not a human.
[00:28:26] Yeah, but you want because of the step up guy rather than be a guy that does.
[00:28:33] I'd like to be the opposite of what you are.
[00:28:41] Number two, we're on 60 miles per hour.
[00:28:47] I listen to these are all these are all things.
[00:28:51] These are things that you could instantly have sleeping all day.
[00:28:56] You'd be like, Oh, I wish I was a lion.
[00:28:58] I would have self respect and I wouldn't let people walk all over.
[00:29:04] First way I'm known for myself respect.
[00:29:06] What happens to a lion that what happens to a male lion that gets a shit fucked up by
[00:29:11] Does he get any pussy cut his hair off?
[00:29:21] He has to wear makeup like a prison bitch.
[00:29:24] For real though, does he do they get pussy?
[00:29:31] If you're not the alpha lion, do you get pussy?
[00:29:33] Can you sneak some pussy if you're the beta lion?
[00:29:36] Because when I saw those bears fucking, it seemed like the main guy fucking the bitch
[00:29:41] and then the two other like cucks just like Jack.
[00:29:47] If you were a beta, the time to fuck another bitch is when the alpha is fucking.
[00:29:52] Because he's like going to stop you while he's busting his nut.
[00:29:55] So you got a real quick fuck his second favorite bitch while he's in his first favorite
[00:30:04] That's how it should be just in general.
[00:30:06] You got to be able to look out for when the man is having sex.
[00:30:11] Waiting for the alpha to have sex with the main bitch.
[00:30:14] And then you sneak some side pussy to the second bitch.
[00:30:18] Or the third, whichever one you fancy most.
[00:30:20] I think that's, because the thing is, which is why I want to fuck.
[00:30:23] John, what's his name from Beautiful Mind came up with that uh.
[00:30:35] Which they, they, simplifying that movie by saying if we all try to fuck the same bitch.
[00:30:45] But in real life, he was into some such about a beautiful crime.
[00:30:49] And he's a mathematician that can't stop raping.
[00:30:56] It is the producers working on the movie.
[00:30:58] I like the mental health angle, but we needed to be sexy.
[00:31:02] A lot of people when they think of rape, they think of the fantasies.
[00:31:15] When people talk about rape, they think about how sexy it is.
[00:31:20] Anderson, would you rape me right now for a million dollars?
[00:31:27] We're going to go to a commercial movie that.
[00:31:29] Well, I'll tell you what, if you like sex, oh yeah, I love sex.
[00:31:35] If you're one of those bail lines that can't get his dick hard while the alpha is fucking,
[00:31:43] If you like sex, you'll like bluechoo.com.
[00:31:50] Bullet points, make it your own and have fun.
[00:31:58] You don't even really need to advertise it because everyone listens to the show and
[00:32:06] Listen, the thing about bluechoo is if you listen and we said there's dick pills we can
[00:32:13] Once I found out about these companies, I fucking ran to the computer in order to get
[00:32:21] Who's on the fence about their dick working?
[00:32:23] You should be begging us to tell you the website.
[00:32:30] If you don't buy your piece of shit, you're a fucking little ass bitch.
[00:32:33] You're a fucking dick, doesn't work and you're a loser.
[00:32:41] You may think that your dick is hard, but actually you're just having a fever dream.
[00:32:49] Your dick can't get hard unless you buy bluechoo with the promo code COM.
[00:33:00] That's the only way your dick will for sure be hard.
[00:33:04] It's a performance enhancement for the bedroom.
[00:33:13] Yeah, it's not only the homeless women out there that are lonely.
[00:33:26] All of the money goes to a blue lives man.
[00:33:53] Every piece of your heart has dick on bluechoo.
[00:33:55] It's in the shape of the puntersor style.
[00:33:57] And when you take it, you go to Iraq to punish the locals.
[00:34:03] Like how they used to crush a swoon that you love.
[00:34:06] It's now time to take out your anger on the locals because they killed your friend Billy
[00:34:25] You retaliated against my friend and now it's personal.
[00:34:34] Well, in Iraq, the Iraq war officially sponsored by bluechoo.com.
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[00:34:49] But it can work faster than pills up to twice as fast.
[00:34:54] Online physician consult is free so it's cheaper than the other two because the other two you
[00:35:15] And then he takes a pill in front of you and he's like, you think your dick isn't hard?
[00:35:21] How could I be sure your dick doesn't get hard?
[00:35:24] Look pal, I have to compare it to a hard dick.
[00:35:26] You're the one that came to the army medical tent here in fucking Fallujah.
[00:35:40] You saw the Punisher pin on my lab coat.
[00:36:00] It only takes a few minutes to connect with the bluetooth.com affiliated physician.
[00:36:06] And if you qualify, you get prescribed online quickly.
[00:36:09] You just need a couple of information like you're in.
[00:36:13] Anyways, do we know how long it was going?
[00:36:19] You got your you got to tell them your name and your sign.
[00:36:23] That's well, that's that joke's going to dead now.
[00:37:01] I'm teaching kids to spell Punisher style.
[00:37:05] Oh, my God, it certainly Punisher style spell.
[00:37:10] Promo code is comptown C U M T O W N. Just pay $5 for shipping.
[00:37:16] They're prescribing on my doctor confidence in bed every time you and your partner.
[00:37:26] I'm just going to do one plug before I would do him plugs one time.
[00:37:32] I have more coming up later, but I need to get that one's coming up on August 3rd.
[00:37:39] More plugs coming later at the plug section of the show.
[00:37:41] Also if you like comptown, you want to either listen to the premium episodes.
[00:37:47] On patreon.com slash comptown, there's if you only listen to these on iTunes or wherever
[00:37:54] There's a treasure trove of 150 or something.
[00:38:02] You paid $5 a month and you get all the bonus episodes.
[00:38:14] Who prior to this had been the most successful, I think.
[00:38:31] Yeah, well now you're coming to the bar.
[00:38:35] You encourage it so that they get their hopes up.
[00:38:37] I get, but here's the thing, you can get the shit from the source.
[00:38:41] Instead of someone's interpretation of what ideas I want out there.
[00:38:49] You're getting exactly what I pictured.
[00:38:53] Sands, maybe a little bit of, sometimes I overshoot the mark on what I think I can do.
[00:39:12] If only to give me something to do during the day.
[00:39:14] Yeah, it's really been enjoying his, his, his career as a printing press.
[00:39:22] Fucking bell to bell seven a.m. wake up, start folding shirts.
[00:39:26] Chinese family used to live with move back in.
[00:39:34] He's wearing a diaper, very soil diaper right now.
[00:39:38] The shit is fucking hanging off his dick.
[00:39:44] I have my dick tied around the middle of the diaper.
[00:39:47] The diapers just hanging in front of me and I'm shitting on the floor.
[00:39:54] The diapers pulled down to my ankles with my dick tied to the middle.
[00:40:13] The number one place to buy merch made by a gay man named Nick Mullen.
[00:40:21] Maybe the circuit district is making me sick, dude.
[00:40:23] Yeah, I think all that dyed snapples giving me bad headaches.
[00:40:27] It's already hurt my stomach a little bit.
[00:40:33] I've been drinking like four or five of them a day.
[00:40:40] But I mean, everything, not a lot of things are good for you.
[00:41:02] You've reached law offices of pussy and science.
[00:41:06] If you try, if a bitch ain't trying to fuck, you can sue her ass.
[00:41:11] The first law firm handling cases in which we will sue a bitch for not giving up the
[00:41:33] They never did really explain how that guy in the soprano's got the name pussy.
[00:41:58] Now, one guy's got to come to get his fucking t-shirt.
[00:42:06] Some guy left his fucking apartment number off one of the shirts.
[00:42:10] Next guy I got a grinder made up and back on deliverable.
[00:42:14] And normally I just restock those, but he lives like around the corner from you.
[00:42:20] Let's figure out maybe I just give the shirt to you and then just have the nod.
[00:42:28] Yeah, so he gets into the show for free.
[00:42:34] I've never taken money from the show once nor have I like comped anyone.
[00:42:45] Honestly the entire audience can get into the show for free.
[00:42:53] Keep paying you fucking pieces of shit.
[00:42:56] The tickets are P. The tickets are P. I wonder if that would do well in Japan.
[00:43:02] Yeah, it's like that kind of container, but it's filled with piss.
[00:43:11] Little mustard packet of pee that you know, with like a thick piss?
[00:43:15] No, it's just regular piss, but like it's it's clear on one side.
[00:43:19] And then yellow with like a little cartoon piss drop.
[00:43:22] I think they'll do a little job of piss.
[00:43:29] And then you could just drink a little.
[00:43:32] But it's a little sip of piss that you can drink.
[00:43:35] There's got to be like a blushing school girl on it.
[00:43:39] A little like yeah, a little drop of like cute drop of a cute drop of piss.
[00:43:45] Or like yeah, like the logo for world industries.
[00:43:50] Yeah, one of the flame guys in the Caribbean.
[00:43:53] But yeah, just a little mustard packet of pee pee for you know, to pick up while you're
[00:44:00] And you're going about your day in Shinjuku.
[00:44:17] You get the raw egg, a little bit of pee pee.
[00:44:25] All the racist food you brought with you from America.
[00:44:29] But you had maids and you could be like, this is you.
[00:44:41] I went when I was there to E. Canari steak and they just have those all over the place
[00:44:48] We're both like trying to do meal prep or whatever.
[00:44:51] And then it took two days before we were at Japanese barbecue causing a ruckus.
[00:45:17] I don't know if I saw you eat a broccoli motherfucker.
[00:45:25] You're about to see me eat your penis right now.
[00:45:27] I would love that with a fork and knife.
[00:45:44] I think they have kids and they're called little fuckers.
[00:46:26] Man, I thought of a good thing that had head in the name, but I forgot now.
[00:46:32] But earlier, I was really giggling in the get-headed stay.
[00:46:40] Because today isn't just the fourth of July.
[00:46:44] It's get-headed, get-headed, get-headed.
[00:46:47] Yeah, that was probably what it was, right?
[00:47:02] So we're gonna go and walk and keep me at him, Greg.
[00:47:07] Today is the day we get our dick sucked.
[00:47:21] What if we- Dad, what did you just say that you got head?
[00:47:28] If we gave the mothership we sucked its dick, you mean to tell me that the answer is to
[00:47:48] We'll swear that's the person we sucked the dick.
[00:47:53] Well, you have to do it for your family.
[00:48:00] Come on, I remember back in the Holocaust we were sucked all the way up.
[00:48:13] I don't know if you were gonna hold a gun.
[00:48:26] For 40 years I die, but drinking cum all the time.
[00:48:31] Oh my God, David, let me suck the aliens dick.
[00:48:35] I'll do it, I'll do it, support me on the ship.
[00:48:51] The old year the aliens took me in 1973 and they fucked me in my ass.
[00:49:01] Our daddy was telling the truth the whole time.
[00:49:05] That kid was Lucas Haas, one of the members of the pussy posse.
[00:49:09] Yeah, the one that got fucked by a guy.
[00:49:30] Get in the head and depend on the state.
[00:49:33] How did they actually win in real life what they do?
[00:49:39] They gave it another ship a virus that propagated across all the other ships.
[00:49:45] Wow, so they were using computers just like us?
[00:49:47] Yeah, that's probably what we would do today, right?
[00:49:52] Hey, we don't understand their technology.
[00:49:54] What if the answer is to suddenly understand their technology fully?
[00:50:00] How about the answer is that we don't know anything about them, but now suddenly we know so much
[00:50:07] about them to the extent that we've exploited a flaw that's not even apparent to them in
[00:50:13] Yeah, it's all dumbass symbols and shit.
[00:50:18] They just made fake Black Lives Matter's Facebook roots.
[00:50:30] I love those fake africated, like the fake Black Trump supporter, guys.
[00:50:36] How about a shirt that says instead of Black Lives Matter, it's the same font and everything,
[00:50:47] In the Martin Lawrence film, Martin Lawrence, Blue Streak, the intersection between the Black
[00:51:01] It would be awesome to wear that shirt and just be like, get mad and then be like, just be
[00:51:11] Because at the end of the day, you're talking about how much you like a Martin Lawrence movie.
[00:51:18] But it's not clear what you're mocking.
[00:51:22] The family matters font, but it says family lives matter.
[00:51:25] And then it's Erkel being shot to death by the police.
[00:51:32] Just Carl doing a police brutality, but he's a Black cop.
[00:51:41] No one talks about all the Black people that Carl Winslow killed.
[00:51:46] What about all the Black people, the Black cops that the Black cops?
[00:52:01] Now I'm just thinking of Steven in a guy.
[00:52:08] Smiling while he murders Erkel because he's a little annoying.
[00:52:20] He was often doing dangerous science weapons.
[00:52:34] He was gonna stay in that basement trying to fuck Laura for the rest of their miserable
[00:52:49] Maybe that's a better way to think of Tamir Rice.
[00:52:51] Is it what if he was just an annoying nerd?
[00:53:20] What do you have to say about the murders?
[00:53:21] I would not put that in the rock and roll Hall of Fame.
[00:53:27] Sucking a dick on chaffery Epstein's island.
[00:53:33] Sucking a dick on chaffery Epstein's island.
[00:53:41] Yeah, it seems like you're doing great, Nick.
[00:53:44] Well, no, I mean, now it's like fucking...
[00:53:48] Yeah, but people know, like, this is news now.
[00:53:55] You've met about injustice or whatever, and then if, like, justice is being served...
[00:53:59] But you think that he's not at the top.
[00:54:03] I mean, he's clearly like an intelligence asset of some kind.
[00:54:08] It gets to a point where it's like, well, I mean, what the fuck do you do about it?
[00:54:13] Some guy that was like, he flipped on Trump's fucked kids.
[00:54:23] That was a witness in the Mueller investigation.
[00:54:45] What have you got, but always finished?
[00:54:51] Shopify is like, it sucks, because it's like the only...
[00:54:54] Unless you make your own printing press.
[00:54:57] Well, no, I mean, I don't print my shirts through Shopify.
[00:54:59] They just handle the store and fulfillment and payments and stuff.
[00:55:05] But everything you need to do requires paying them more money.
[00:55:09] It's like, how can I batch print fucking packing slips?
[00:55:13] With 15 dollars a month, you can get the order...
[00:55:17] And everything has a dumb name where it's like...
[00:55:27] And it does this very simple fucking thing that should just be built into the interface anyways.
[00:55:36] I mean, Shopify really is like, it's sort of a thing where...
[00:55:41] Whether it's the dissuade people from setting up drop shipping services or not.
[00:55:46] Because it's like, you could just do drop shipping, you could put shirts up and do it in a way
[00:55:51] where it's like, maybe if someone orders this, I get some money.
[00:55:55] You know, it's like, you have to pay for the basic service, which is $30 a month.
[00:56:01] And then if you want anything on top of that, it's fucking $80 a month.
[00:56:06] I guess they just assume a lot of people are like, I'm going to start a store.
[00:56:13] I feel like everyone's business model is like, plan a fitness basically.
[00:56:21] I'm sure a bunch of people on Patreon forgot.
[00:56:23] No, I mean, I'm like Lewis in the sense that I would prefer to just do everything myself.
[00:56:30] Like I would rather like, pay somebody, I mean, myself to the extent that I'm not like paying
[00:56:37] But you hit Snags in the process where it's like, you can't...
[00:56:43] It's just much easier to just deal with something like Shopify.
[00:56:49] And if you do that, they'll fucking like, take away your income.
[00:56:52] Like these companies that like are on board with the idea of de-platforming people.
[00:57:04] Well, I'm going to have some very stiff words for them off-mic, just in case.
[00:57:10] I got something stiff for you. No, you don't actually it's you can't do it anymore
[00:57:17] Have you used blue chew Adam? Do you like it? I have used it once and it was amazing
[00:57:23] I feel like a placebo no it was not but I was pissing not hard and my dick looked fabulous
[00:57:31] Yeah, not even hard just like you have a little hanks. Oh
[00:57:35] No, it definitely gives a little extra. Yeah, the capillaries are all expanded. It's all like soft. It looked great
[00:57:41] Honestly, I the only way I know it's working is because I can't look breathe through my nose. Yeah
[00:57:47] Yeah, yeah, you get a little headache can't breathe through your nose
[00:57:50] Yeah, and then that's when it's really working. That's when your dick is really thriving
[00:57:54] Because everything's expanding you see spots. Yep
[00:58:00] You stand up too fast you get you know all woozy classic. You have vertigo
[00:58:05] Yeah, we have classic moves all regular shit. Well folks. We gotta go do show
[00:58:10] Show I gotta stop it. Hold on. We gotta get some fuck. Oh, yeah
[00:58:15] Funny moms every Monday except for the first Monday the month
[00:58:18] Fat Tuesdays every freakin Tuesday at the stand next funny mom's is the 29th. I'll be in
[00:58:25] The 29th, right? Yeah, I'll be in LA on the 29th of August. There are tickets up on my
[00:58:33] Instagram and Twitter bio and pin tweet whatever
[00:58:39] But see me at the lodge room that same day. I'll be in Seattle the 29th friend of the show Jamelle will be opening up for me
[00:58:46] Everyone loves Jamelle Johnson good guy. He'll put me at the lodge room also. I think he's he's he's our go-to
[00:58:56] What else what other plus see me Rochester on the third like I said see me in Boston on the 16th and 17th
[00:59:01] Oakland on the 24th first show already sold out by tickets to the late show
[00:59:05] We just added that shit and I'll fuck around and do a third show baby
[00:59:09] So keep buying them bitches and then Seattle and Portland on the 29th and 30th
[00:59:15] Got some more dates coming after in September
[00:59:17] I'm going a little vacay going agrees he he and after that I'm gonna back on the road
[00:59:22] But I might go to Greece with you. Please dude. Please come I have like a sister here to the traveling pants type
[00:59:28] That would be nice European journey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah get some pussy out there
[00:59:35] Do in my home country Mona Lisa you can fuck my female cousin. He's I think 38 and has a child
[00:59:40] She looks good Mona Lisa. She was like you. Yeah, she looks just like me with a high ponytail
[00:59:46] That sounds with our yard Ariana Grande ponytail you said she had hairs that you had me at the hair
[01:00:02] Yeah, come that was the one under a layer of Tuscan come under the tugging
[01:00:08] Under the tugging suck we're going on a vacation underneath the Rub and Tuck
[01:00:13] It's all I could afford one bitch who just got broken up with my pussy's not too old, but it actually was
[01:00:22] Lucky for her Italians are so horny. They'll fuck anything. Yeah
[01:00:27] Prachita you're bossing so disgusting, but I cannot stop eating it