Cum Town | Regular | 08/08/2019
[00:00:05] What the fuck is up with your bitch asses?
[00:00:09] To the audience that, and then also to the motherfuckers in the room.
[00:00:21] A kitty pool full of ice cubes so we can see your penis.
[00:00:40] It's two different types of hunger that you fad off cock and food hunger.
[00:00:45] Not that I have cock hunger to be clear.
[00:00:48] That's how you understand the subtle nuances and the difference between the two.
[00:00:56] I've had it described to me in beautiful language.
[00:01:04] Oh, my only poet poetry friends are street poets.
[00:01:10] I was just read, I want to suck your cock and look your balls.
[00:01:42] I feel like Lord Byron, from my understanding of the Greek Revolution of 1821, he went to Greece
[00:01:46] and got so much pussy and sucked so much good dick that he used some of his personal fortune
[00:01:53] to help us to throw in the Turkish dogs that had us under their domain.
[00:02:07] No, you just get Lordship if your poems are gay enough.
[00:02:11] If you get, no, you're a sir if you get knighted.
[00:02:18] No, Lord is like, I think it's landed gentry.
[00:02:23] Dude, if you had land, it just means you own land.
[00:02:25] You can become, you can become a Duke in England now by buying a fucking one meter by one meter
[00:02:34] There's websites you can go to to just get Duke shipped.
[00:02:42] Dude, if that costs 500 bucks, I'm doing it today.
[00:02:46] I want to be Duke Halkey is so fucking him.
[00:02:51] I think Starbro's how it gets sucking kids palace.
[00:02:54] That's what I'm going to call my fucking, that's what I'm going to call my palace.
[00:02:59] And I'm going to have it, which is a good place of England.
[00:03:07] Um, you know, probably there's good pussy.
[00:03:11] Aren't they all like fucking steel workers?
[00:03:14] Don't they all have like no, they all do acid and rave.
[00:03:20] I think they thought my scene is Wales in England.
[00:03:22] I want a Catherine's eight of Jones pussy.
[00:03:25] Uh, I don't think she lives there anymore.
[00:03:28] Yeah, but there's got to be girls that look like her that you're like, whoa, you're
[00:03:32] Welsh, but you look like you're fucking from this.
[00:03:34] I think women in Wales look like sheep.
[00:03:38] Yeah, there's got to be a way to do this.
[00:03:40] You can have like you can become a priest and it's a.
[00:03:44] I'm pretty sure you could just buy the there's no chance.
[00:03:46] I mean, if that's not already a business, I would I would I would.
[00:03:50] I have a bunch of land in England and becoming a dude.
[00:03:55] What you do is you buy weight, you know, you get like a, a crop of something you flip
[00:04:07] I got a coppa some Britain and we slicing that shit up, cutting it up, bringing it to
[00:04:16] We might not have we might not have aspirations here, but in England, Duke, that's right.
[00:04:28] Start a charity where we get at risk youth.
[00:04:35] Then we teach them how to rap like skepta.
[00:04:46] I can't, I can't freestyle let alone freestyle.
[00:05:01] Get the fuck out of here on sealant, which I guess is an island.
[00:05:11] Principality of I'm going to start Atlantis from my fucking Duke ship in sealant.
[00:05:15] I was seeing the comment on sealant is a micronation that claims roughs tower.
[00:05:33] It was built as a anti-aircraft gun platform by the British during World War.
[00:05:39] So that I can fuck if any terrorists are up to no good.
[00:05:41] I got the strap off the coast of Norway.
[00:05:46] If Trump's like, yo, we they got Arabs or whoever.
[00:05:51] Well, the claim that sealant is an independent sovereign state is based on an interpretation
[00:05:56] of a 1968 decision in English court, which would tell that roughs tower was an international
[00:06:01] water is just outside the jurisdiction of domestic courts.
[00:06:04] So it became an independent nation because it was just like a some rock where they kept
[00:06:10] And then after the war, they're like, I guess we don't really own this.
[00:06:13] For $730, you can become a Duke of sealant.
[00:06:17] And then people have to call you your grace.
[00:06:21] Do they have to do that anywhere you go or just to the EU?
[00:06:29] I mean, the year you've you the certificate.
[00:06:33] It's it's well, it's the size of a gun.
[00:06:47] If you think you deserve our highest ranking title of sealant, or searching for an extremely
[00:06:52] unique gift for someone special gift, the duke or Duchess title is perfect exclusive
[00:06:58] Ordering your title pack is quick and simple and be a great.
[00:07:03] This is like this is ever going to see you.
[00:07:08] Oh, man, I'm looking at a picture of sealant right now.
[00:07:15] It's just a little port that fuck that, dude.
[00:07:18] It's the I want to build a little fucking castle.
[00:07:21] If I'm going to be a duke, I want to have a little castle.
[00:07:24] I want to get my dick sucked by milk maidens and shit.
[00:07:29] I'm in I'm re-instituting prima knocked on my my plot of land.
[00:07:36] Now I'm getting a new cousin, a noble who resides over a duchy and holds it as holds
[00:07:49] Who was that like red hair red hair and kind of chubby bitch that was a that was famous
[00:07:53] for being a well here's here's for the UK.
[00:07:55] Okay, first you choose between seated or non seated.
[00:07:59] Then you presume purchase your new presumed title from us will seamlessly handle all the
[00:08:04] legalities in return you receive a beautifully presented document pack along with all the
[00:08:08] details you need to start using and enjoying your new title immediately.
[00:08:16] What can you imagine how much of a bitch mommy just your fucking like now you'll call me
[00:08:25] I want one for my dog to do some dumb bitches that watches the royal wedding is like way
[00:08:30] seven four am is it cheaper if you just want to be a duchy non seated single title is $237
[00:08:36] US, but that's not really I want land, bro.
[00:08:40] I want to fucking spit in my surf's faces if they don't bring me enough radishes.
[00:08:46] Well, let me see how much the seated titles are.
[00:08:53] I guess it means you get a seated British parliament.
[00:08:59] I'm going to be in there and be like, yo, fucking vote for the boy, dude.
[00:09:07] So let me look up how much it costs to be an Earl's for bitches, dude.
[00:09:16] It's just two guys named Earl, one guy's named Duke.
[00:09:22] Duke is a black guy with a camera show.
[00:09:25] I'm going to have a show called my title is Earl and I go around demanding to speak to
[00:09:30] Whenever you get fish and chips, Earl titles non-seeded.
[00:10:00] So instead of just being Lord Smith, you'd be Lord Smith of Westminster.
[00:10:07] So I'm going to be Lord Stavros of Westminster and then go to Westminster, Maryland.
[00:10:30] But it's probably like such a little parcel sucks.
[00:10:34] But yeah, it's land on sea land, right?
[00:10:40] I thought we were still talking about sea land.
[00:10:44] Sea land can suck my hard-ass dick, actually, unless I get the whole country to myself.
[00:10:52] Yes, you can train your driver's license, passport, credit cards, and bank accounts
[00:11:01] I'm going to have to do it all in one fell swoop then.
[00:11:05] I'm going to be Duke Stavros of Vel, Halkey.
[00:11:09] I'm going to make all the changes in one swoop.
[00:11:15] For the simple reason that Laird itself is not a title, but rather a descriptive word
[00:11:22] This is in the frequently asked question.
[00:11:27] I've never been heard of Laird, and that shit definitely...
[00:11:56] Not looking at lists of tiny countries.
[00:12:21] We're all those are the ones that I've said.
[00:12:26] Everyone knows you have a child's penis.
[00:12:43] Fuck, it's $1,800 to be a lord of the manor.
[00:12:48] Yeah, I'm going to be lord of Darth Fuck.
[00:12:52] And if you don't do it, I'm calling the queen.
[00:13:02] Yeah, well, I can fucking build on that, dude.
[00:13:04] And then declare war on the other motherfuckers.
[00:13:09] You would build a giant golf tee and then you put a house on top.
[00:13:15] But do a giant platform that goes down and then it goes down eight miles into the ground
[00:13:23] Because you have air rights and mining rights.
[00:13:28] Like English law was invented before...
[00:13:35] So there's no such thing as air rights and English law.
[00:13:38] So if you can structurally find a way to take a one foot by one foot piece of land and build
[00:13:44] on top of that and cover the entirety of England.
[00:13:52] That's actually what the movie Sky Commander in the world of tomorrow is.
[00:14:02] Starring Russell Crow and Jolina Jolie.
[00:14:07] And Jolie Jolie from Gia where her tits are out.
[00:14:25] Yeah, imagine how great it would be to drag your dick through that mental hospital.
[00:14:30] Just spend the week going on a tour of the medicine.
[00:14:35] Yeah, how about a movie called One Fucked All of the Cuckoo's Nest and it's a mental
[00:14:47] Jack Nicholson's like, these pussies are the tightest craziest pussy I've ever seen.
[00:15:18] Elizabeth Warren in the mental institution after Trump debates her once and then she's
[00:15:30] I tell you, what I'd really love to happen to poke on us here is a little John Smith
[00:15:38] They say she fucked all of the explorers.
[00:15:41] I loved all those articles about Elizabeth Warren.
[00:15:45] They were like, stop fucking saying she knows too much about politics.
[00:15:54] It's like, of course men are criticizing her for being too qualified.
[00:16:03] There was a neutral commentary that she was wonkish.
[00:16:09] Like a month ago, Bernie was like, yeah, I get it.
[00:16:11] People want a woman to be the president.
[00:16:14] And then like the headline was like Bernie Sanders says people only support Elizabeth
[00:16:24] They need to take my man's name out of their mouth.
[00:16:26] The good news is that Donald Trump will win the election no matter what.
[00:16:33] And there's nothing you can do to stop it.
[00:16:34] I think you probably, he might not be, but he probably will.
[00:16:40] I mean, that's my maybe Beatles bitch ass can drop out now and say because of the gun
[00:16:45] violence he cussed because of the gun violence.
[00:16:47] He could be like, I got to be back in the Senate.
[00:16:56] That would be awesome if he just was like, I'm a bitch.
[00:16:57] I got my dick sucked handily by Pete Buttigieg.
[00:17:00] He became the like boring ass white guy.
[00:17:03] It really rocks when beta was like, yeah, me and my wife, both are descendants of slave
[00:17:08] I want to, I want to get Andrew Yang on the podcast.
[00:17:29] All right, guys, we could get the Yang gang.
[00:17:32] I bet you 95% of the people who listen to this podcast.
[00:17:36] I thought it's, I don't fully dislike him.
[00:17:38] I know like everybody hates him just because like a lot of his universal UBI shit is like
[00:17:46] it seems like it's just a way to gut entitlement programs.
[00:17:51] Oh, would there be no entitlement programs?
[00:17:53] Well, he said some things and he like, he leans more in that direction when he was,
[00:17:59] he did like Ruben report and then on Rogan, he kind of said a couple of things that were
[00:18:02] like, you know, if you give people the option of like $1,000 or, or, you know, you know,
[00:18:11] your food stamps, obviously they're going to choose $1,000.
[00:18:14] So he wants to do it on some Nixon shit of just give the money.
[00:18:17] Don't do like, you know, you have programs.
[00:18:21] And he's like, honestly, he's better for the economy.
[00:18:22] It's like, yeah, because people will spend like additional income, but like you want
[00:18:28] to make sure that they have food and health care.
[00:18:32] It's also like, I don't even understand.
[00:18:39] I don't even know how the fuck you value that because he's talking about if you already
[00:18:42] get like $1,000 worth or $500 a month in benefits, but I don't know how you like value.
[00:18:55] How many Zans do you get under that plan for a thousand bucks street value or?
[00:19:03] How much Adderall and Zany if you can get the only two reasons to have used healthcare.
[00:19:16] It's also dumb because like everyone gets the money.
[00:19:21] Well, yeah, if you're like an upper middle class person, you get the $1,000 and it's like
[00:19:24] those people will be able to spend the money.
[00:19:27] They'll probably just put it in the savings account.
[00:19:32] I mean, and then like well that people make that argument about healthcare.
[00:19:34] It's like why should rich people get free healthcare?
[00:19:36] And it's like which is so you want to have something that's completely different.
[00:19:44] And you wouldn't make that argument about like, well, what do rich people get the fire to
[00:19:49] Well, you, the next money that can be used in many different ways when it gets put back
[00:19:54] It's an entitlement program, a UBI, no?
[00:19:57] Yeah, but it's the difference in how the money functions.
[00:20:04] If you give somebody, if you give somebody doesn't need it an additional $12,000 a month
[00:20:08] and like that immediately go or $12,000 a year.
[00:20:12] And that like immediately just goes into like interest bearing savings account.
[00:20:16] So why not put it in like higher risk investments or you know, it's just like extra money.
[00:20:22] Whereas poor people immediately have to spend that money on like going to kid and shoes
[00:20:27] and whatever those well, not even shoes.
[00:20:28] It's like if it is like gutting those programs food and like that, then it goes on those
[00:20:33] essentials or into those essentials or whatever.
[00:20:36] And it's effectively like nullified any benefits they get.
[00:20:38] Meanwhile, people that like do already have wealth are able to turn that $12,000 into
[00:20:44] even more money for themselves in a way that doesn't benefit the economy.
[00:20:49] I mean, marginally by like, you know, investing in companies or whatever and it helps their
[00:20:53] growth but not in the same way that like, you know, if you give poor people a $1,000
[00:20:58] on top of like like the like the Bush stimulus, right where it was just an additional check
[00:21:04] rather than like less withholding that money went back into the economy.
[00:21:08] But it's not like at the expense of like, Hey, if you want the $600 check, you lose your
[00:21:14] You know, you still have all like the basic needs met.
[00:21:16] And then if you have like additional like disposable income or whatever, then you can
[00:21:21] spend that on like a fucking on just, you know, like a TV or whatever the fuck you, you know,
[00:21:32] And if you're not getting pussy, yeah, you can file a claim to hire a prostitute and they
[00:21:44] Yeah, because you're constantly trying to get pussy.
[00:21:53] I mean, I feel like people hate Andrew Yang and I don't like get.
[00:21:57] Yeah, I feel like I'm getting stuff is died down.
[00:22:01] He was like in the, I guess they're letting everyone in the debates, but he's actually
[00:22:04] pulling better than all those random fucking shitty like that dickhead that looks like
[00:22:16] Yeah, that's how much of a loser he is.
[00:22:18] And I don't know who the fuck that guy is.
[00:22:20] And I was sort of when I was younger, kind of into pop.
[00:22:26] Yeah, I think he's never heard of this.
[00:22:32] Yang Yang, Yang pulls like the same, like he's, he's up by Jill a brand that shit.
[00:22:39] Yeah, one or the other guy with like the gray hair that I've also that Bernie said that
[00:22:46] We're just like a growth a bill or whatever.
[00:22:54] They still in the right looks like a serial killer.
[00:22:58] He's got like the BTK killers eyes that Michael Bennett who just sounds like fucking a camera
[00:23:02] and doing an impression of Sloan's father and my daughter will be outside at 3 p.m.
[00:23:17] Listen, Jeff or Joe, pet a famous pedophile.
[00:23:22] They brought him back, but they didn't give him any dialogue.
[00:23:39] That movie is so much funnier when you know that Jeffrey Jones is a pedophile that took
[00:23:46] It was like, I'm going to get my hands on him.
[00:23:56] He was the principal and Ferris Bueller's.
[00:24:00] Oh, the guy like got fat and shit and had a little mustache and bald and shit.
[00:24:06] Oh, he was the newspaper guy in Deadwood.
[00:24:14] But David Milch has enough respect for his product to bring him back to the movie.
[00:24:19] You couldn't have found another fat guy that looks like that.
[00:24:21] It's so funny to have the pedophile back, but not give him any lines.
[00:24:25] He says like one off things, but he doesn't have any dialogue.
[00:24:29] That's, yeah, that is definitely that definitely heightens the movie.
[00:24:34] Yeah, you're chasing a high school boy.
[00:24:41] And again, not that it's good to, you know, that's a tough pedophile though.
[00:24:54] If so, I'm the Stavros Lord of Pussyshire.
[00:24:59] Well, I can buy it for you before you get a chance to.
[00:25:04] No, I mean, I can title you as Lord of small dick.
[00:25:14] I will see you in the fucking Queen's court, dude.
[00:25:28] There's nothing we could do to stop them.
[00:25:36] Do not spend $700 to make me the Lord of things go $1,800.
[00:26:07] I don't want to be the Lord of small dick, Phil, man.
[00:26:16] No, if you had like, you know, letterhead and stuff that said Savros like this Lord.
[00:26:23] Titty's the reason we make the money we do is to buy it.
[00:26:31] Well, I'll make you officially kniting you as the Lord of small dick, Phil.
[00:26:39] At least making something that sounds British.
[00:26:43] No, if it's not even, you don't even get the benefit of it being funny.
[00:26:51] I guess there's just a place called small dick, Phil.
[00:26:58] Lord of the man or full name, Stavros, Hocki's place, small dick, Phil.
[00:27:07] Damn, I'm really about to spend $1,800 on this.
[00:27:17] Just do the $200 one and give $1,600 to Jerry or something, man.
[00:27:23] You can still make me legally the Lord some small dick, Phil.
[00:27:29] You have to buy a seated title to have the name.
[00:27:34] Yeah, you're only pretending to care about the charity so that you don't become the Lord
[00:27:42] Your official title is recognized by the King of England.
[00:27:47] That's fine because I love the Queen, so fuck that.
[00:27:52] I'm going to start doing that to all my enemies.
[00:27:54] What's making them the lords of things going bankrupt?
[00:27:57] Making your enemies the lords of come fast town.
[00:28:01] I've turned them all into British nobility.
[00:28:05] The ultimate revenge of gay name places.
[00:28:09] I like signing my enemies up for email lists.
[00:28:15] Like, you know, if you're at Chili's and they have an iPad on the table, that's good.
[00:28:18] You just sign them up for the Chili's to go email.
[00:28:26] It was awesome at first when you first realized you could sign up people for like gaysex.com.
[00:28:33] You can get somebody else's birth certificate in Social Security card like pretty easily.
[00:28:38] They don't like the fucking government barely checks to...
[00:28:44] When you go, when you get a replacement Social Security card on the website, there's a couple
[00:28:47] of states they don't let you do it in, but they're like, are you sure you need this?
[00:28:50] This time you don't need to present it.
[00:28:52] Knowing your Social Security card is more important or whatever.
[00:28:55] And it's like, I think they tell you that because like, I mean, you do need some information.
[00:29:04] And then like maybe a mother's maiden name.
[00:29:07] There's a little bit more information you need for the birth certificate.
[00:29:09] But if you can get that information from somebody which is not hard to like fish out from...
[00:29:18] I mean, it's not hard to get people's fucking like information.
[00:29:24] Especially, you know, the angle you do is you just pretend to be like into astrology and
[00:29:31] You're like, okay, well, where's your mom born?
[00:29:40] Yeah, you can get all of their shit, you know, and then like there's no, like to get the birth
[00:29:45] certificate and the Social Security number, you don't really need to do much verification
[00:29:49] on the internet past having that information.
[00:29:51] Don't you need to go in or show your face?
[00:29:53] You need to know what the hospital was.
[00:29:56] Yes, you do need to know the hospital, but like you can get that like again, you can
[00:30:01] I don't know what, do you know what hospital you're born at?
[00:30:11] It's what I mean by it's very easy to get this information.
[00:30:31] Nah dude, you get the fucking birth certificate, the Social Security card, then you go get
[00:30:41] You need to know their Social Security number.
[00:30:49] Yeah, but there's always, you know, ways.
[00:30:52] We would take you to the cleaners, pal.
[00:30:55] Yeah, too late when I'm on fucking Little St. James Island.
[00:31:04] Jeffrey Epstein's island has been taken over by an irony pedophile.
[00:31:18] The temple has been replaced with a pizza restaurant called Child Porn Pizza.
[00:31:24] And inside, all the waiters are naked little boys.
[00:31:28] Inside is an 18 monitor gaming rig set up.
[00:31:32] I like the aesthetics of being an elite pedophile.
[00:31:46] You're just like the aesthetic of being rich.
[00:31:51] It's like that song A-RAP Money, but it's pedophile money.
[00:32:06] We got Prince Andrew and Clinton in the back room.
[00:32:16] Durst getting hit from a child in an infant.
[00:32:36] Anyways, if you guys like wearing underwear.
[00:32:40] Adam, why don't you tell me what kind of underwear you wear?
[00:32:58] Do you like a hard-ass dick in your underwear?
[00:33:00] You love wearing blue cheese pills in your mouth.
[00:33:05] Look, Adam wears girl underwear, and that's how he gets hard.
[00:33:12] Because we're either unhealthy or closeted homosexuals or both.
[00:33:28] You wear Chanel number, whatever the fuck?
[00:33:34] Yeah, if you motherfuckers have problems getting hard, like we do,
[00:33:40] If your dick is fucked up, if you like sex, you'll love bluechew.com.
[00:33:50] I use it for beating off for having sex for my cock-looking big
[00:33:55] I get it hard and just tape it to my leg.
[00:34:00] I like to wear those very thin pajama pants.
[00:34:04] Could you get in trouble for indecent exposure if you just have
[00:34:09] If you have a sister of pants, you can.
[00:34:12] You can't ask if all shorts and you're rocking around with your dick hard,
[00:34:23] I think it's like women are like women are like women are like.
[00:34:26] Can you think of one law that regulates men's bodies in the way women's are?
[00:34:30] It's like, yeah, try to walk around hard and basketball shorts.
[00:34:43] I'm trying to just go to Chuck E. Cheese.
[00:34:49] I need children to dance dance revolution.
[00:35:01] I'm like, you're stuck in here with me.
[00:35:04] Sir, please, you can be here and you can be hard, but you can't threaten the children.
[00:35:10] You can't threaten the children while hard playing dance dance revolution.
[00:35:13] And then I look at the camera and I go, bluechew.com.
[00:35:16] I'm not like, yeah, and it's war shark and it's dick gets hard and then the bad guy from
[00:35:25] And then war shark's face turns into the Punisher logo.
[00:35:30] If you dick gets hard and then he's copyrighted.
[00:35:37] Getting hard with the Punisher mask going.
[00:35:42] I fucking pull people over for a living.
[00:35:45] Because every time I pull someone over, I know it's a life and death situation.
[00:35:51] There's a guy with a tail light out and I know I remember my posture, my hands on my hips
[00:35:57] lessons from cop school where they teach me hands on your hips and zip your lips.
[00:36:02] And that's why you let people know you're a tough guy.
[00:36:09] My police academy turned and handed posture myself.
[00:36:16] Anyways, bluetooth.com offers men a performance enhancement for the bedroom.
[00:36:20] Wouldn't you like the last longer and go extra rounds?
[00:36:24] Not really, but it would be nice for my dick to start.
[00:36:26] No, but I'd like to come fast with a hard kick for a change.
[00:36:32] If you fuck too good, the women stick around.
[00:36:36] You would need other pills that you'd be docked on the deal with that.
[00:36:39] bluetooth.com to get the first chewables with the same act of ingredients as Viagra and Cialis.
[00:36:50] That's why it's all made here in America.
[00:36:52] But the only medicine that is impossible for the Chinese to say and therefore manufactured.
[00:37:00] And so they're all manufactured and prescribed by doctors here in the USA.
[00:37:05] Doctors who are at the top of their class.
[00:37:14] It's guys who went over to Iraq and then they got their dicks punished off by an IED.
[00:37:23] They're like, I was in the military and now I'm dedicated to building my upper body straight.
[00:37:29] Becoming a Jack the wheelchair guy that prescribes dick pills.
[00:37:34] I don't know why the blue tooth keeps coming back to the punish.
[00:37:43] The online position of consult is free so it's cheaper than the other two via Rincealis.
[00:37:48] It only takes a few minutes to connect to the bluechoo.com affiliated physician.
[00:37:51] If you qualify, you get prescribed online quickly.
[00:37:53] There's no in-person doctor visit, no awkward conversation, no waiting in line in a pharmacy.
[00:37:58] And if you like those things, they got a little chat box where you can talk to someone directly
[00:38:10] Can you recommend any Thomas the Tank Engine themed sexual imagery to facilitate?
[00:38:17] Because I thought the blue was a reference to Thomas the Tank Engine.
[00:38:24] What if you're like a blood and you got to take the pills?
[00:38:31] I told him if he can get BAM back on, he was like, I'm working on it.
[00:38:36] BAM's going off on this here right now.
[00:38:41] I already told you, Nikki, you're a slut.
[00:38:44] He's just like a nine paragraph thing about like, you said you were going to be a bitch.
[00:39:18] You're just using him to hurt me anymore.
[00:39:25] It's like you know a guy in a fucking like like trans world skateboarding trucker have being like
[00:39:31] The rest of the crew's cleaned up and the party's over man, and you gotta grow up. It's time to grow up
[00:39:37] It's not gonna happen. Yeah, he's fucking these the Howard Hughes escape, right?
[00:39:43] He pisses in jars worth 50 million dollars. He's just oh he's got loads of money
[00:39:49] That's awesome. He's they talk about like all the rest of the guys they go to their shit together
[00:39:53] It's like well bams the one that's a fucking like business like yeah
[00:39:57] Sponsored by everybody's branded all this shit the reason he's like that. He's constantly making money
[00:40:03] Why do you go on that tour then just for fun more money?
[00:40:07] Smart move why not he probably got some huge guarantee from like Vinny and shit. Yeah, you know
[00:40:13] Well, I'm sure he did from like I know I'm sure that your take will stay hard. Oh if you use
[00:40:19] Blue cheese no in person doctor visit no online something. It's all online
[00:40:25] Blue chew whatever dude. It's fucking dick. No dick gets hard. There's a time for met for legal purpose nice
[00:40:32] Come town the code is blue chew. No, that's the product
[00:40:39] She wouldn't do it. You fucking bitch anytime you and your partner will love it. That's right
[00:40:44] It's or you if you're just hard by yourself and my partner. I guess they meet another guy women can't take it
[00:40:52] She'll become racist I envy homosexuals who get to both use blue chew. Yeah
[00:40:58] Imagine a relationship where you both get to use blue chew. Oh my god. That's the perfect form of sex. Yes
[00:41:05] Here's a great deal for you guys visit blue chew calm and get your first order free when you use promo code com town
[00:41:10] CUM to WN just pay five dollar shipping. That's blue chew calm promo code
[00:41:16] Come town. Come town. See you MTO WN. That's right. Let's start the show start the fucking show. Let's have sex
[00:41:23] Let's have gay sex. Oh, also, please come see me in Boston next weekend you motherfuckers
[00:41:29] Thank you to everyone who came to fucking Rochester shots out to my boy Todd
[00:41:37] I'm an Oakland on the 24th and Seattle the 29th and 30th
[00:41:46] And I think Philly the weekend before I might do a little house show to warm up after going coming back from Greece
[00:41:55] To Steve Star Rose go to stavey.biz. Slash tour
[00:41:58] I'm fucking guy. I'll save it on Instagram and Twitter. I'm gay. Oh my big kids fucking small
[00:42:16] I'm going I'm going I'm going I love Japanese pussy. Yeah, he actually
[00:42:29] John Hinckley Jr. Said that he shot it's David Mark Chapman, but he shot
[00:42:34] John Lennon because he said he was gay with Jesus
[00:42:48] You know Jesus was sucking off all the apostles dude, you know, he sexed everyone into the crew
[00:42:56] Just like no one around him was like yeah, you can't call the song women
[00:43:01] Because I what you know that John oh women are the something
[00:43:07] What a fucking imagine what Chapman was like, I mean come on
[00:43:14] Jesus looked through the Bible find me where Jesus is dropping inbox
[00:43:20] Jesus is you can say the end word so free in the 70s dude
[00:43:24] That's the thing I'm blacker than Jesus
[00:43:26] Yeah, it's funny when I would watch like network television
[00:43:29] It would be like you know sandburden son or whatever when I was a kid or yeah
[00:43:32] You watch movies and a guy would be like, you know, like he was saying damn it
[00:43:37] He's bleeped out a dish dish rag. Yeah, we did suck my dad dial up
[00:43:46] Right and then it's like look there's the boo
[00:43:49] I mean they would say it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh
[00:43:55] Which you know that's when the word was good the word was really good. They used to think it was good
[00:44:01] Mm-hmm now we think it's bad. Well, it's historically important. It's historically it was yeah, it belongs in the library
[00:44:09] That's right. It's heritage not hate. I'm doing a version of Tom Sawyer where it's every other word is taken out
[00:44:18] It's just no no the weren't the people mad with Tom Sawyer redacted and it's just just the end words just black
[00:44:27] Just like blackout marker over everything. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, they replaced it
[00:44:36] Good to see you cousin like wait this guy's cousins
[00:44:58] One thing Bono did that was good the red phones. I had that red razor dude Adam are you gonna go see?
[00:45:08] Is it is it coming in New York? They have a fiddler on the roof. That's in Yiddish and fiddler on ice
[00:45:12] Fiddler on I would love to see the fiddler on ice. Yeah. Yeah, what a what if you go into the one that's all in you
[00:45:25] That's one of my favorite songs. What's that?
[00:45:31] If I got the beaches if I was a bitch man
[00:45:34] And I got bitches that's like my fucking little day if I had the best and plans
[00:45:39] Oh, it's a trans guy won't be trans. Yeah, I thought it's about a guy getting bitches on the roof. Oh
[00:45:47] That's that's where he gets if I was a bitch man. Yeah, we fuck's on the roof. Yeah, dittler on the roof
[00:45:52] Did it on the roof. It's a pedophile. Yep. Oh, yeah. Oh
[00:45:56] Fucking yeah, brother if I had a penis. I guess a Dayton shooter retweeted me
[00:46:04] Yeah, well, he was finding out the Dayton shooter retweeted and followed me kind of rough
[00:46:10] But finding out he was a leftist kind of makes it okay. Was he what did he shoot? Yeah?
[00:46:14] No, the guy who was like he's like kill every fascist. He has all these like tweets. They're not reporting that because it
[00:46:22] The day shooter use a rose emoji. Yeah, they did. Yeah, I was he had a
[00:46:26] Convention because he had to do a shooting because he had to do his shooting. He had to do a shooting
[00:46:31] You should have been there at the he was the guy that yelled about no clapping resolution
[00:46:35] He was the guy that yelled about not using
[00:46:42] Keep the she guys can we get the chitch have to admit him and then if you watch you can see that part that like woman stand up
[00:46:52] Can we know how to use gender language?
[00:46:56] For come on man, and then whoever like the person is speaking is like you can tell like what have we done?
[00:47:03] You know, yeah, yeah, yeah, what has this oh we're fucked dude. Yeah
[00:47:12] Up like their field. I don't know man. It's one of the how he's like
[00:47:16] It's one of the people talking about punching Nazis if guys hurt your feelings, right?
[00:47:21] Well Nazis really hurt. Yeah hurt my feelings. Yeah, exactly
[00:47:28] If I had a penis that video is amazing it it was so
[00:47:33] It's so so tough. It's so rough that there was a real chance
[00:47:39] For like a vibrant leftist movement after Trump was elected and it just got taken over by people afraid of clapping
[00:47:46] That's right. What I don't understand is like shouldn't you be like praising the Dayton shooter if like you are did he shoot fascists?
[00:47:54] I think he went to like a country bar or something what the what's what are you talking?
[00:47:59] What's the Dayton shooters that the guy at Walmart? No, there's another one
[00:48:02] So and then like 12 hours later some guy in Ohio shot up a bunch. Oh, are they trying to say that he's an Tifa?
[00:48:09] I don't know. I didn't like well well in Tifa is like a volunteer fire department, you know
[00:48:16] So it's you know whoever wants to be yeah, oh
[00:48:20] But I thought you said the racist guy was a leftist the racist was in El Paso. Yeah, how many three happened?
[00:48:32] Wait, who did the guy who did the fucking?
[00:48:39] Pretty much that is fucking a mask both per vest and hearing protection
[00:48:43] So the hearing protection would indicate that he is the guy from the DSA meeting
[00:48:55] Who asked for the chitchat to be damn this shit is wild
[00:48:59] Yeah, well beer was saying like oh well, maybe the Dayton shooting was a retaliation to the Ohio one
[00:49:04] But it's like what like fucking 10 hours. You got an assault rifle of multiple magazines
[00:49:09] And I mean it would be that he has another one in Ohio. No, this is the one in Dayton, Ohio
[00:49:14] Yeah, that's what that's what you saw retaliation for El Paso. Yeah. Yeah
[00:49:25] Closing is a bar. I don't know man. It's kind of hard to get like information on this one
[00:49:33] Spended his Twitter account. Yeah, which sucks because it's like every follower counts
[00:49:40] They're really fucking with your ratio. They are yeah
[00:49:44] Listen, I don't like what he did but the follow what if they have fucking pictures of me just wearing a Richard gear museum shirt
[00:49:58] But please buy my shirts actually you know what the shooter was found where I
[00:50:07] If you're gonna buy the shirt do whatever you want right
[00:50:10] It ends there. I'm simply a merchant. This is all over the news the shooter was wearing a come-town shirt
[00:50:16] I'm like oh, I'm sorry. You mean he bought a shirt. Thanks. Yeah, no thanks
[00:50:20] Don't need that don't follow up questions
[00:50:22] Just so we're on the same page you purchased a fucking shirt because the shirts are good. Yeah. Yes
[00:50:28] Oh, are you reporting on him wearing a fucking Nike shirt? Are you yeah? I'm sorry. Yeah, I guess under armor
[00:50:36] After so spending all his money on it that yet. It's not the assault rifles. It's the problem
[00:50:40] It's the shirt he was wearing which is printed on next level premium great shirts premium
[00:50:46] God premium shirts hot. I know you good screen printed they last forever
[00:50:50] I don't support what he did, but I understand why he opted for this shirt to do it in no evidence so far of a bias crime police say
[00:50:57] All right Sean King though was immediately like authorities are now saying he did it as a white supremacist motivation
[00:51:03] He targeted black people and it's like you know they didn't
[00:51:07] In El Paso no no the Dayton shooter. Okay, I'm talking about El Paso
[00:51:13] Doesn't fit Nick's narrative El Paso. Yeah, what's my narrative? No, I'm kidding
[00:51:18] My narrative is this Sean King was Sean King like immediately said that it was yeah, like a white supremacist thing. I
[00:51:25] Mean he was playing the man was playing the odds
[00:51:29] What we had I mean he'd like considers himself a journalist. Oh, yeah, he's not a journalist is he yeah
[00:51:37] Yeah, John King. Yeah, he's a cloud shark dude. It's a cloud chaser classic cloud chaser. Yeah
[00:51:43] Anyways, I want to know more about the bar that he's shot up because that's true because I think it's funny
[00:51:51] I think there's something funny there probably is something funny
[00:51:54] Dayton kind of sucks. Wow country bar guy shot up in oh, oh here we go stop
[00:52:00] You know it already's also found a shotgun in the shooters
[00:52:05] Oh, maybe you have some things you want to answer did no first of all to 2011
[00:52:10] It's I know 2011 familiar with your vehicle that I've driven more times than you have that's not true
[00:52:15] I've driven you've driven it a couple times better than you
[00:52:19] Know you're driving it in during a mental break on and I'm pretty sure you fucked something your car thinks about me when you drive
[00:52:25] Yeah, we didn't fill up the tank also after that. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. That was yeah
[00:52:29] I broke the air conditioner buttons. Yep by baby by pressing them too hard. Mm-hmm. I that that drive back from DC was
[00:52:36] Ridiculous. Yeah, just blasting metal. Yeah, Nick blasting metal screaming about God
[00:52:57] Just get to a story at a time. Yeah, and then you're we get yours you're wearing a swimsuit because you've run out of underwear
[00:53:10] Five out of it that was a dark time, bro. We really have been through some
[00:53:18] Great is like cuz I know you're 20 sucked, but then you get into your 30s and it's fine
[00:53:22] And it's like that's literally what happened. Yeah, that summer sucks, but now that I'm old. Mm-hmm. I don't care about anything
[00:53:29] Yep, it's great like I get creepy voicemails. I had another person being like
[00:53:34] Hey, I have a theory on that creepy voicemail. I don't care
[00:53:38] Person in the up there like hey like this is gonna sound weird, but I got this like like I
[00:53:44] Feel like you're in danger or something like I got this really like weird overwhelm this person. I don't even know and
[00:53:51] It's like yeah, maybe I'll just be killed. Okay. Yeah, you might be killed, but I think that I think I know who did that voicemail
[00:53:57] Why I think that's long one. No, it's John McAfee. No
[00:54:03] It's John McAfee. Are you sure? Yeah, listen to it
[00:54:07] We gotta get him on the cause I know long one is like doing a show now for
[00:54:11] Mom potion cash. Yeah. Oh, those guys and I think that they were like asking for people's numbers or something and someone might have passed your number along
[00:54:23] Triple double-chit why would be the point of that?
[00:54:26] Because they want to like they want to like prank like people that have following
[00:54:31] Yeah, like my friend. Oh, it's viral marketing my friend said that
[00:54:37] He's saying I have to kill the guy from long. Yeah, you don't have to kill
[00:54:42] You're a number to him Adam. That's a dumb theory Adam
[00:54:46] It's John McAfee. Yeah, I think it's long my potion. I mean it sounds like John McAfee
[00:54:51] It sounds like long my posting potion castle. No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. It's a long my potion castle guy kind of sounds like
[00:55:08] Lorenzo music Lorenzo music music that's a great name
[00:55:13] Yeah, Lorenzo music here. What's your name is Lorenzo? His last name is music. That's his yeah
[00:55:19] That's his name here Lorenzo music respect. There he is an interview with him
[00:55:24] Didn't really prepare I read some of the Garfield books. They were three at the time
[00:55:29] Well, I just realized that I understand this
[00:55:39] And he became so my famous as Carlton wrote his drunken
[00:55:44] Music's done a lot of things, but he's never played a cat. They started laughing. I was just
[00:55:49] I'd love to fuck that lady. Yeah, he sounds like that. It's either Lorenzo music. It's Lorenzo music. It's either Lorenzo music or John
[00:56:01] Those are good-ass guesses brother. Yeah, I think it's LPC dude. No, it's not dude
[00:56:06] I think it is why where did that come from who told you that whose theory is that?
[00:56:26] Yeah, I just texted him again the other day
[00:56:31] He's like he's like he's I think he did that drone video of little St. James Island. Oh, that was him
[00:56:37] Yeah, I've heard from other people that he's like I don't know. He's always he's just doing weird shit
[00:56:41] He's like a hard guy to get in that rules
[00:56:43] He's always on weird research. Can he agree to do the show I texted him in January and he was like yeah
[00:56:48] He's like I can come on, but he wanted to Skype in and I was like now
[00:56:51] I kind of want to like do it in person. So I was gonna fly down to the outer banks
[00:56:56] Yeah, well, I wasn't gonna dox him on the show
[00:56:58] I mean, I'm sure people know where you people know where you look but you like that you like to do you understand his life is in danger
[00:57:04] Because of the drone video because of because yeah because this is a guy. There's good and dark forces
[00:57:09] Uh-huh and John's John's one of the good ones
[00:57:13] He's the lawyer a crusader for the light
[00:57:16] Is in the battlefield of Bitcoin billionaires?
[00:57:19] There's the pedophiles and then there's guys like John the guys who shit in a hammock or whatever John probably have me killed
[00:57:25] Cuz he doesn't that's why he left that voicemail
[00:57:27] Personally, he left me a voicemail on a number. I don't let you know to let me know. Yeah, he could have you killed at any moment
[00:57:33] Yeah, oh wasn't your regular number? No, that kills my that kills my long-mom
[00:57:40] Cuz someone dumbass someone asked me if I could give your guys numbers for that
[00:57:46] What for his new show the fuck what you can't just give out people's numbers. I and I didn't do it. Yeah, good. Yeah
[00:57:54] But I am a fan who asks you that why are people talking to you?
[00:58:01] This is caused by immigration and the boys are in backlash against it how old is 73?
[00:58:09] It looks great. I love his titty tats. He's got like tribals on his tits
[00:58:16] He's getting that X prostitute pussy dude his wife
[00:58:20] That man rules dude. Yeah, I love John Mac captain Sabahoe to the extreme
[00:58:25] Yeah, but also probably getting pussy on the sneak what happened to viruses?
[00:58:31] He fucking do people still get viruses Mac if he stopped them all
[00:58:38] Did you that should ever happen to you when you're jacking I don't have an anti virus on my cuz I should ever happen to you
[00:58:42] When you're jacking off you get like weird pop-ups are like
[00:58:45] Meet other guys. No, no, that's probably you because you like gay porn you might like no that no
[00:58:53] That's you what happens saying you get that doesn't happen to you
[00:58:56] That doesn't happen to me that happens to you what happens to me is like it'll something
[00:59:00] It'll like freeze you out of it. It's like it makes you like agree to something
[00:59:04] And then you have to like click out and like exit or my ears my phone have a virus
[00:59:10] That sounds like a virus. Fuck. I've been jacking off
[00:59:16] What do you jack off to on your phone X hamster?
[00:59:23] Which I I fought for a long time. I used to be a spank wire guy back in the college. I
[00:59:29] Like the little guy, you know, I was never a porn hub guy. Yeah, it's like too corporate for me
[00:59:35] I think it's one guy that owns all of them. Oh really? Yeah
[00:59:39] Even xnxx.com. I used to use that one in college. Yeah
[00:59:44] X video seems a little more like you know
[00:59:54] Absolutely, but they got some some of the big big names sure you can find the big names of course
[01:00:00] You can find the big names. You find the small names
[01:00:03] Examptors another one I dabbled with but never really x hamster is a good
[01:00:08] video quality the thing I like about X videos is you can
[01:00:11] Scroll over and get that little preview, but I used to love Jack's mix and now it's just bullshit
[01:00:17] The regular kind or the dessert kind regular kind the regular kind kind of sucks my dick dude
[01:00:22] It used to when I was a kid I was like what when I cuz I didn't know about you
[01:00:28] Great I was like this is fucking this all what is this is it's pretzel sticks
[01:00:33] They have to put a description on the back with all the different kinds of stuff. Yeah, cuz it's 19 different fucking snacks at once
[01:00:39] Yeah, it's a mix. It's for a party. I tried it recently
[01:00:42] I just don't like the not just over time throughout my life. It stopped having an effect. Yeah like love isn't that
[01:00:51] What about money? I would be checks muddy buddies. Yeah, that shit rocks. Well, you know if you're good chocolate on the check
[01:00:58] You're allowed to say buddy. Are you I'm talking about a snack. I don't know what you think
[01:01:21] Dio you know folks I just wanna suck your little dick
[01:01:34] Damn, what places this on the screen saver that looks Scotland. Um, I don't know Scotland California or some shit
[01:01:41] That's pretty cool dude. Oh, she's like you can hop down those little switzerland combo suck dick is combo suck dick is
[01:01:50] I guess today's the street sweeping down the other side of the street, but nobody moved their car
[01:01:55] Is it a holiday? I don't know that would be holiday
[01:02:02] You get off for every bullshit Jewish holiday. Yeah, well you don't have alternate sign up for Jewish holidays
[01:02:09] That's what good that's what I mean. Yeah
[01:02:12] Cuz you just can't turn their car to your public schools get off for like
[01:02:15] Oops, there's a little black ribbon on the Google. So maybe it's shooting day. Oh
[01:02:31] Snatch people's guns, dude. It's gonna be us. No, we're gonna look hold on people are gonna want to hear this is the parking holidays
[01:02:40] New Year Memorial Day Independence does not Memorial Day. No no Memorial's days like in a couple weeks. I think
[01:02:54] New Year's Day Memorial Day depends day Labor Day. Thanks. Give me the Christmas day
[01:02:58] The party's I was saying or you're at full time so did no state and major
[01:03:04] I'll turn it sides feed parking other holidays rule applicable to other holiday suspense the
[01:03:11] National underwear day include Martin King birthday Lincoln's president say good Friday ash Wednesday purer and Passover
[01:03:17] Poor him aid al-fateer a dual-fateer rasha shana and all Saints day heritage day in Alberta is today
[01:03:28] Aid is it a boob rock is not a mood barack. It's new Brunswick day
[01:03:34] South some kind of Canadian shit's going on
[01:03:40] Looks like a bitch. There's a statue of him. Oh never mind. He had a tumor or something. No, it's the fourth of June. Oh
[01:03:50] This man ran a long-ass race with his knee all fucked up or something so is it Russia Shana salute to Terry Fox some Canadian
[01:03:57] Little bitch the fuck is rasha shana. It's the new year fucking student. No, it's Passover. No
[01:04:05] No Passovers when they were getting ready to fucking it went up my man Christ called Passover Passover
[01:04:11] Is the day you make plans when they left Egypt Passovers a day where you make plans to fucking get it Jesus dude
[01:04:17] When they were like that's not what happened. Yes, it is
[01:04:20] The Passovers New Year's and rasha shana and some other bullshit no
[01:04:24] Passovers when they made some treacherous plans
[01:04:26] And they freed that one guy who's the murderer you guys freed instead of Jesus
[01:04:32] You know the story that's not Passover, but you know who is it though?
[01:04:36] The murderer they freed it's funny that y'all look you chose to make Hanukkah the big one
[01:04:41] And it's just about some dumb ass no they didn't choose
[01:04:43] It was just like Hanukkah was not chosen to be the big one
[01:04:46] It just became a big one because it's near Christmas. Yeah, it's kind of a bullshit. It's copying
[01:04:51] You mean well my parents said that it was American to do Hanukkah
[01:04:55] So they'd like write me one check on the first day and then not celebrate up and they never got extra checks
[01:05:02] The guy the guy was like he had a cool name. It didn't give me more checks
[01:05:09] Barabbas a cool name. Oh from 18. Yep, 18. Yep. Yeah, B. A. Barabbas
[01:05:15] They freed mr. He's instead of Jesus. I put it a fool
[01:05:19] It doesn't believe that the price was a false prophet
[01:05:25] Then the Messiah's coming and we're gonna wait around for him and that's why you're not allowed to use electricity on Saturdays
[01:05:42] I know you not using the refrigerator on Saturday you got to let your meat hang outside in the hot weather
[01:05:47] That's why we're gonna cure the meat out here in the hot weather put a bunch of salt on it cook it on the radiator
[01:05:55] I got we gotta get your Shabbos boy to cook your meat for you. We gonna grill up these steaks
[01:06:00] We gonna grill up these steaks on the shop is on my elderado
[01:06:11] Probably maybe we're there. Where you are you the shooter? Are you the shooter got them?
[01:06:16] Yeah, you know, that's not true. That's the sound of you shooting
[01:06:31] Yeah, I'm out of guys I get in selling these like shooting up a mall and then there's some girl that's like that's so cool
[01:06:36] Yeah, you know, and he's really like yeah, what's your name? He's like I finally found someone
[01:06:43] And then he like kisses are right is the SWAT team comes in Wow, that's her man
[01:06:49] SWAT team's like well. Yeah, we're gonna give you a two days vacation Nicholas sparks publishers like I guess
[01:06:57] That's what the next one is for the time something for the appropriate for the time the bullet by Nicholas sparks
[01:07:05] I'm just a country boy that wants to shoot up a movie
[01:07:10] I don't know about all this, but I'm just an in-cell country boy lonely and so I'm a city girl the right girl to come along
[01:07:16] I'm a city girl, and I've had sex with a million guys. I love shopping and I love shopping and having sex
[01:07:31] Maybe if we could just have met before I did the shooting and my dad has a lot of Mexican friends the irony is Michael
[01:07:37] I wouldn't have fucked you if you didn't shoot
[01:07:43] I just want to fuck you right now in this Charlotte ruse
[01:07:46] I want to spend the rest of my life with you in this Charlotte rude 20 minutes in a Charlotte ruse. Yeah
[01:07:52] Yeah, I tango down fucking pun it's a punisher finally I get to be the punisher
[01:08:00] The SWAT team guy that just wanted to be the Punisher
[01:08:07] Damn dude, I love it when a plan fucks my I love it when a man fuck the gay team
[01:08:28] Showering them showering them showers over we're gonna get you
[01:08:48] Damn all right well folks folks if you know the funny moms next week coming to funny moms come to fat Tuesdays every Tuesday
[01:08:55] Tuesday L.A. at the lodgement on 29th of August come that town
[01:09:00] New shirts restocking left and right and get them all there hard stuff
[01:09:05] I'm gonna figure out how to sell tickets to live events through that maybe funny mom's tickets you can get there
[01:09:11] Like I got big plans mm-hmm. I know that I'm a G suite
[01:09:18] It's a Google product no it's gay sweet. It's gay sweet. Do you remember Google reader Google reader?
[01:09:32] It's for babies that's why Adam it was kind of like a
[01:09:35] Thing where like people could I used it
[01:09:38] I was on it with like a group of friends and then people would open you guys a bunch of strangers not guys
[01:09:42] Yeah, what you guys you never met in real life. They were guys, but they're just my friends. Yeah, I bet you were friendly with them
[01:09:47] We'll check out come about your real friendly with come downtown
[01:09:50] We're restocking soon. Stop it out big slash tour. I just ordered at 1200 shirts my man
[01:09:58] By the shit. Oh, my mom's calling me. All right. All right. Talk to that bitch. Oh