Cum Town | Regular | 09/26/2019
[00:00:00] I've been getting into getting into soda.
[00:00:19] There was a lot of cap shit you would get before the internet.
[00:00:23] Now it's like to win everything you have to put a code into the internet.
[00:00:32] I'm giving the fucking Yemeni guy eight bottle caps.
[00:00:36] I remember going with my dad to the hobby store so he could buy some model to put together
[00:00:48] I remember I think I told this story before but I was upset that I won because I had entered
[00:00:59] Now I'm not going to win that fucking shed.
[00:01:08] That'd have been cool in apartment for yourself.
[00:01:09] Dude, do you know how much you wanted a fucking like a tree house?
[00:01:12] It was just that vibe of like kids only.
[00:01:31] Adam would like masturbate to the cactuses.
[00:01:41] The needle is represented in his ability.
[00:01:47] See, I would have thought that the needle on a cactus represented his dick on top of
[00:01:53] an average to a slightly below average.
[00:02:05] So you wouldn't think one needle happens to be your dick.
[00:02:20] You were speculating that I did think that way.
[00:02:21] I was saying with certainty that you do think that.
[00:02:27] Well, I'll give you a look inside my mind.
[00:02:36] I found an artisanal, like, I think I even said it to the group chat.
[00:02:52] I never actually didn't want to do that.
[00:02:57] With the shit you put in the fucking freezer, the water, you ever get one of those mugs?
[00:03:07] No, I had a phase of like, I think they were like novelty cups and I think they were A&W.
[00:03:28] This was a Dunkin' Donuts promotion from seven years ago.
[00:03:30] It's got a hall of graphic thing on the outside.
[00:03:32] You could go get your shit refilled for like half the price as long as you had the
[00:03:40] Oh, look in the... my budgeting system back in the...
[00:03:50] There's big ass KFC ones or pop these caps.
[00:03:51] Dude, I remember when the KFC Twisters came out, those chicken wraps, I was like, I gotta
[00:04:00] It's so fucking stupid and they weren't even good.
[00:04:03] It was like there was just a Burger King chicken sandwich like...
[00:04:06] Yeah, this chicken sandwich shit happened year, like 15 years ago.
[00:04:12] No, the thing I love, the Popeyes, Po Boy.
[00:04:17] Popeyes had a Po Boy for... I think they both had chicken and a string on one thing.
[00:04:27] I was watching 9-11 videos earlier today.
[00:04:29] I seen Popeyes, Po Boy's drinking soda.
[00:04:37] And you know if you had a shit you would have put... It would be like dirt in it.
[00:04:40] A little window in the front, you just lean out of it.
[00:04:43] You know, you get your elbow coming out of that window.
[00:04:48] People come by, they're like, man, that kid must be so cool.
[00:04:52] You're imagining this whole awesome setup with a bunch of computers and screens and
[00:05:01] Yeah, I don't remember having any plans for the shit other than I'm going in.
[00:05:08] I think it was after I watched Blank Check.
[00:05:11] So I thought I was going to have such cool shit in it.
[00:05:14] Just with no absolute money whatsoever.
[00:05:17] No ability to even understand how a television is hooked up to anything.
[00:05:23] I wanted a secret fucking like a layer in the basement.
[00:05:27] I remember he had a boxing ring that was like a bouncy and he had huge boxing gloves.
[00:05:35] Like enormous boxing gloves and he fought his chauffeur that he hired with his $1 million
[00:05:43] I wish there was a I want to see the deleted scene where the lady sucks off that kid.
[00:05:52] It was pure aspirational cinema and it was because it was on a VHS that I got from like
[00:05:56] Grandma's house that was Blank Check and going to Mexico.
[00:06:04] Another movie that they would play on cable, I guess.
[00:06:07] She would like tape movies off of cable, but then a budget queen.
[00:06:11] There would always be two movies on each VHS.
[00:06:27] La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, bam, bam, please suck my d-
[00:06:29] That was my favorite song when I was a kid.
[00:06:33] I used to go to Johnny Rockets with my parents and make them play Lebamba on this.
[00:06:37] I'd throw a tansher if I didn't get Lebamba.
[00:06:50] Yeah, Adam was just like Greta when he was younger.
[00:06:52] He would go around the world giving him passion speeches about someone needs to fuck his ass.
[00:07:00] I shouldn't be here not getting my ass.
[00:07:05] Well, I think that just the confidence that it takes to give a speech should be celebrated.
[00:07:12] For a kid to stand up in front of adults.
[00:07:15] And say that I need to get my ass fucked.
[00:07:19] Greta doesn't bother me like the Parkland kids.
[00:07:23] I thought the Parkland kids were all trying to get into a good college.
[00:07:30] I don't understand why people are mad at her.
[00:07:31] She's autistic and doesn't even English.
[00:07:33] She doesn't even know her first language.
[00:07:36] I mean, it's like, what the fuck does she have in her?
[00:07:41] She's just a child that's like a kid activist.
[00:07:44] Yeah, but people know that climate like it's like it's not, you know, no one gives a fuck
[00:07:50] with nerds say, dude, they want to see what a little kid-
[00:07:53] It's a fucked up little brain has to say.
[00:07:55] This kid doesn't know shit about climate change.
[00:07:58] They're like, oh, I'm the child and the guys are knowing to me.
[00:08:06] I saw a video of a fat boy standing in front of her to protect her.
[00:08:15] Every generation has their problem, right?
[00:08:16] For them, they all get to die in a fireball.
[00:08:29] You got that from typing love letters to sailors.
[00:08:34] Dad, for your fifth birthday, you asked to go see the sailors come into port.
[00:08:41] I want to sink and quill and parchment and show up with a big lollipop and blink at all
[00:09:02] And then they go down to Coronado to blink at the sailors.
[00:09:25] I didn't realize it was the open beta from Modern Warfare.
[00:09:36] I guess I'll spend the $100 on the special operator prepay.
[00:09:41] Of course I can get a gun at like a fall tiger camo.
[00:09:49] You got to have your little weapons look cute.
[00:09:52] Fucking tiger camo loadout gun in the mouth.
[00:10:01] It's like I think if you want to be like realistic, you want to put girls in there.
[00:10:15] If you and a teammate may lay a female enemy both at the same time, she's held down in gang
[00:10:21] rape and then it adds time to your reason.
[00:10:28] If there was a woman there like, yeah, good for her.
[00:10:36] Do you think so they rape most women in war?
[00:10:40] If you and a teammate both may lay the female player at the same time.
[00:10:45] This isn't a thing where they're always dying that way.
[00:10:47] Most of the time they're just being shot in the face or the pussy.
[00:10:53] You know, I mean, I stout like everybody else.
[00:10:59] That would be more damaging because it's an easier path inside your body.
[00:11:04] You would have to shoot up into the pussy.
[00:11:07] Or what if you hit the strong breathing bones?
[00:11:10] You have to go down on the ground and then shoot up.
[00:11:14] You sort of have to do a roll and then...
[00:11:17] You have to be standing with her legs completely spread and you'd have to be dead underneath
[00:11:24] You'd have to do one of those slide maneuvers from like a John Woo movie.
[00:11:27] I guess that's the same could be said of a man's ass.
[00:11:32] The asshole is a little bit more on the back.
[00:11:36] Should we be aiming at anyone's ass regardless of gender in war?
[00:11:45] That's the name of some fucking poem or some shit.
[00:11:55] My friends showed me a video yesterday of this lady in England.
[00:12:01] This lady in England went to bed with...
[00:12:04] Went to bed with a migraine and then she woke up Chinese.
[00:12:13] I don't remember anything we were talking about.
[00:12:15] I can't believe people listen to this fucking show, dude.
[00:12:17] I feel like we just say the same things.
[00:12:24] That thing about raping a woman in Call of Duty, that's uncharted in the territory.
[00:12:30] That's a new thought I just had playing the new Call of Duty.
[00:12:43] It's like, don't worry, I help you or whatever.
[00:12:48] It's so funny, because modern warfare came out of the first one in like 2007, maybe.
[00:12:56] So it's all about killing brown people.
[00:13:00] We've been in that modern war for fucking two decades.
[00:13:09] Yeah, modern warfare now would just be drones.
[00:13:14] If it was true, if it was not amended in 1975.
[00:13:20] So what, you got 25 years until 2000...
[00:13:54] This is uncheck aggression will not stand.
[00:13:59] And we just fucked his ass a little bit and then he was like, all right, all right.
[00:14:13] I've seen the other Mark Wahlberg movie where he's an army guy.
[00:14:19] Was that sniper or something or a shooter?
[00:14:28] A WWE film entertainment, world wrestling entertainment films.
[00:14:47] That's behind the enemy lines I'm thinking of.
[00:14:57] Some like, yeah, they're in like the Balkans and then he's like fucking...
[00:15:16] His plane gets shot down and he has to eject and he's just in the woods.
[00:15:19] Which I don't know, all of that area just looks like Pennsylvania.
[00:15:37] Have you ever gotten head from a Balkan person?
[00:16:10] I got my dick sucked by that guy that drank that poison in international war crimes court.
[00:16:18] Because the judge told him that I was actually a guy.
[00:16:53] You call me gay because I have a slight affect in the way I speak.
[00:16:57] No, but now that I think about it, you're right.
[00:17:01] We're calling you gay because right now you're...
[00:17:03] You're one of those little throw project, short throw projectors and you're watching gay
[00:17:08] Yeah, your forehead is actually transparent and there's two 1920s cartoons blowing each
[00:17:17] Two guys are song and other guys they can have.
[00:17:32] All right, that's very creative calling me gay.
[00:17:41] They're taking turns sucking dicks on us.
[00:17:49] Was Bugs Bunny a person, you fucking idiot?
[00:18:00] Just tunes, particularly of that era, were animals.
[00:18:05] But if I were to fuck Bugs, I'd be gay.
[00:18:08] He's clearly, and by the way, Bugs is, he's great, dude.
[00:18:14] When he dresses up like a lady, I was like, well, that's being, see?
[00:18:19] I guess Bugs is gay, but it's coolest show.
[00:18:22] He's honestly, he's a fucking, he's a drag queen if you think about it.
[00:18:36] All I wanted to do was watch football, and Elders had to fucking watch the Emmys for
[00:18:42] It came down to whatever, fuck the Browns.
[00:18:52] No fucking bitch ass Cleveland team is going to beat us.
[00:19:11] It's an award-winning website that's been paying winners for decades.
[00:19:22] It's actually one of my favorite places to gamble.
[00:19:24] It's actually my favorite place to gamble.
[00:19:26] I've heard from numerous people that it's the place to bet on football every weekend.
[00:19:32] And that's why I bet against the little St. James Island, sports books.
[00:19:45] Do you remember that they said like, they would sell like a blockbuster like fucking books
[00:19:57] Like the companies like, don't let anyone know those cheats.
[00:20:02] We're going to be pissed if everyone cheats at the games.
[00:20:05] We give a fuck after we sell it to you what you do with it.
[00:20:09] Yeah, that was like a huge marketing thing is like the cheat codes.
[00:20:17] They don't want you to think it more money if it takes you longer to beat the game.
[00:20:20] That's what my book is like, it's the totally unauthorized completely cool guy with a child
[00:20:35] They don't have that, but it's as cool as those.
[00:20:39] My bookie.com, imagine your little your Sessna 287 lands.
[00:20:49] You know, the blades are kicking up a windstorm.
[00:20:50] There's a guy in a linen suit with a long face and short gums.
[00:21:07] And you say, Jeffy baby, I thought they got you and he's like, they'll never get me.
[00:21:24] Join me in my Jewish temple slash piano playing room.
[00:21:30] I don't know if it was a Jewish temple.
[00:21:34] Those are the only two explanations I saw is that it was a place for him to Jewishly
[00:21:44] I mean, why is that such like, like, of any explanation that you could come up with.
[00:21:51] It's like, well, you know how Jews need a creepy temple to play piano and yeah, we hope
[00:21:56] Like the bad guy owl from rocket doodle.
[00:21:59] Fuckin anyway, so it's my bookie is the place to bed on football every weekend.
[00:22:08] They got better bonuses and more prop bets than any other sports.
[00:22:17] This year they're hosting the first online handicapping super contest first, guaranteed
[00:22:23] to win at least one hundred thousand dollars.
[00:22:36] Can you imagine what you would do with a hundred thousand dollars after buying a racing wheel
[00:22:44] I would probably buy a custom tracksuit.
[00:22:52] First place is guaranteed to win at least one hundred thousand dollars.
[00:22:59] And it only costs a hundred dollars an hour.
[00:23:02] You're a fucking idiot with a little ass fucking dick if you don't put that hundred
[00:23:13] It's your turn investment of 400 percent.
[00:23:15] And it only costs a hundred dollars an hour.
[00:23:22] You barely go to the fucking movies these days.
[00:23:27] All you need to do is pick five NFL games.
[00:23:31] Pick the games and then you win the hundred thousand dollars.
[00:23:35] You just have to say the games that are happening without looking.
[00:23:38] That would be cool if you could do that.
[00:23:46] So you pick the games against the spread.
[00:23:57] To make even more money than you would if you just you know continued.
[00:24:08] Yeah at the office with your hammer and nails.
[00:24:15] I hate when I had to build my desk every day at work.
[00:24:22] You start nailing papers to the different paperwork to the desk.
[00:24:27] That's a schizophrenic man imagining a day job.
[00:24:31] Yeah you just nail a roller blade into the over the motor.
[00:24:42] Oh you got to do is pick five NFL games against the spread every week.
[00:24:47] The climbing leaderboard and score your share of the huge cash prize pool.
[00:24:51] Listen I would only recommend a service to my listeners has been good to me.
[00:24:55] And so far my bookie has paid for every single one of their ad reads.
[00:25:01] The important the we judge sports gambling websites.
[00:25:18] If you weren't theoretically you can trust them.
[00:25:24] My workie does a lot better than just saying that's just how things work in Germany.
[00:25:29] And then you ask why you haven't been paid.
[00:25:36] That's why my bookie is always the right play.
[00:25:41] My bookie is live in game betting on every NFL game.
[00:25:44] We've got the most rewarding player perks in the business.
[00:25:47] And for you fantasy guys out there if you're imagining the players are actually dragons
[00:25:55] You're in a war even better dragon eating you and then shitting you out of his big dragon
[00:26:02] Eating you and then being pregnant with you and Sonic is rubbing lotion of the dragons
[00:26:09] You can even bet the over under on how many fantasy points a player will score each game.
[00:26:12] So get get this up to a thousand dollars first deposit bonus.
[00:26:16] You can double your first deposit if you use promo code come town.
[00:26:21] They had to add town promo code come was causing problems.
[00:26:30] Promo code come town to activate the offer.
[00:26:36] That's M Y B O O K I E. Don't forget to use promo code come town when creating your account
[00:26:55] Real quick if you're listening right now and you live in Fort Wayne, Indiana, Indianapolis,
[00:27:03] I'm going to be there the 27th, 28th and 29th and I'm in Medford, New Jersey.
[00:27:08] It's some weird fucked up little thing.
[00:27:14] Just because if somebody tried this people figure out how to skip the reads and we find
[00:27:18] out who you are, we're going to fucking kill my God.
[00:27:23] Just think of this is the reason we podcast is to make advertising revenue.
[00:27:29] That's the reason we do this because we respect company.
[00:27:33] I'm that this is our way into advertising.
[00:27:43] What they do is they don't let Indian people use the website.
[00:27:46] Well, down, I don't quite exactly understand.
[00:27:51] This is the same goddamn idea you've had every day.
[00:27:58] But you've been saying this isn't racist for years.
[00:28:07] Find out how Don keeps Indian people from Chevrolet dealerships this week on Mad Men.
[00:28:13] It's in an interview with Andrew Wiener.
[00:28:22] He's like, well, I really wanted to shut up.
[00:28:27] And you know, I think despite or they even got the Indian people aside from the iconic,
[00:28:33] you know, skinny suits and the aesthetic of the 1960s in this move away from conformity.
[00:28:39] There was always a strong undercurrent of anti-Indian guy sentiment.
[00:28:46] I think if anything defined the 1960s prior to the cultural counterculture revolution,
[00:28:54] it was definitely a sense of Indian guys get the hell out of here.
[00:29:00] Let's get these Indian guys out of here.
[00:29:04] You know that the Beatles were singing about that?
[00:29:10] Imagine like Indian guys seeing that movie yesterday.
[00:29:12] And then there's like a bunch of Indian guys going around that just love the Beatles now.
[00:29:16] Like, man, the Beatles is so very cool.
[00:29:23] Why the fuck in the span of like three months there was that movie and then that movie about
[00:29:27] the Indian guy that loved Bruce Springsteen?
[00:29:30] Is that really a genre that people never heard of that movie?
[00:29:34] Some call didn't just meet an Indian guy.
[00:29:37] Did someone sell that like in a deli in a story?
[00:29:41] It's called like Blinded by the Light or some shit.
[00:29:43] Well, the answer is is that like fucking scripts get bought and then studios are like,
[00:29:50] So you use the 90s was the worst for that because it was like you get Armageddon and
[00:29:59] There was two, two friend zone with flipper free willy.
[00:30:21] I saw you said it and then I saw something that said it also.
[00:30:24] I hope initially I thought that's got to be wrong.
[00:30:40] I mean, it's like alarming how many movies.
[00:30:45] Like, I remember growing up, it was like, you know, every movie there was just another
[00:30:59] There also, there already was the Avengers.
[00:31:16] No, that's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
[00:31:29] No, it was Uma Thurman and some British guy.
[00:31:36] No, it was somebody like Ray Fines or...
[00:31:59] I thought it was Ralph Fines or someone said it's Ray F, and it's just pronounced that
[00:32:03] Dude fuck that name Sean Connery Sean Connery Ralph Fiennes and it is an L. You're right. Thank you
[00:32:15] No one said there wasn't an L. It feels good. I thought there wasn't an L
[00:32:19] But it is pronounced Rafe. What the fuck no, that's fucking bullshit
[00:32:27] Gonna be an eye sound dude. Look at his fucking whole name get this
[00:32:30] Rafe Nathaniel Twistleton wiking him fine
[00:32:36] His name is Ralph. I'm literally looking at it. He's fucking name is Ralph Nathaniel Twistleton
[00:32:41] Wike Ham finds twistleton wike ham. Yeah, we should beat his ass. Oh listen to how gay this is
[00:32:48] He's an English actor film producer director a Shakespeare interpreter. Okay. Shut the fuck up
[00:32:55] Yeah, what does that mean? He like you can suck my rave
[00:32:58] Which is actually the technical term for the line on the bottom of your dick and balls
[00:33:05] Wait dick and balls. Yeah, do they make that movie? You mean the balls?
[00:33:09] PhD is the word for the groove Ridge or seam in an organ
[00:33:16] Typically marking the line where two halves fused in the embryo. Hell yeah, dude. Yeah, so oh shit
[00:33:21] So we're your balls were they originally your brothers balls that you ate in euro? Well, yeah, you yeah
[00:33:28] you fused well before the the sex isn't chosen in the womb until
[00:33:37] Fetus which is not a human being chooses its gender. Oh
[00:33:42] So it has the ability to choose its gender, but it's not a human being so our trans people are they like like
[00:33:53] We'll just assume that we'll know but there are there are there are intersex people
[00:33:58] It'll be the lawyer that's like ambiguous genitalia and they're just assigned a birth that sucks
[00:34:03] Yeah, and then they grow up and they're like I feel like the other one that happened to you
[00:34:08] No, my genitalia was on ambiguous. I don't know it's fucking it was very deliberate. It's small. It's deliberately small
[00:34:15] Oh, that's true. I guess a small ass dick is certainly a dick
[00:34:22] Mean that is true. Yeah in a way a small dick is more of a dick than a regular dick
[00:34:27] Well, thank you like look how small that guy's dick is right if your dick is big enough
[00:34:32] I guess theoretically you could use the dick hole as a pussy damn
[00:34:35] They you're dick absolutely cannot do that. They did make this movie damn. I love philosophy
[00:34:44] That's why people listen I love it, dude. I love
[00:34:48] Thinking about what the Greeks would have thought
[00:34:52] That's why I'm here man to be the proud tradition
[00:34:56] Ask me another philosophical question. I guess you would call that Socratic justice absolutely is justice
[00:35:08] Fuck would you say ask you another question no I said stop said that oh ask what you say
[00:35:17] What oh, I was just looking up if they made that movie with Joseph fines where he plays Michael Jackson they did
[00:35:27] I'm sure his middle name is also twistable. It's an magic nightmare code fucking dingleberry
[00:35:33] Fines we should fuck up Ralph. Yeah, there's a movie about a road trip between
[00:35:40] What's your name Elizabeth Taylor Michael Jackson Marlon Brando and Joseph funds plays? Yeah, he's also twistleton wyke them funds
[00:35:52] Albrecht Joseph Albrecht twistleton wife
[00:35:56] Man, I've been enjoying watching just episode after episode of homicide at night
[00:36:00] It's a really cool box that my back hurts. It's like a file cabinet file cabinet. Yeah, that's so cool
[00:36:07] Yeah, I thought you just had the boxes like the idea. I bought the file cabinet. No, you didn't respect
[00:36:18] Dude, I haven't been able to sleep. I'm still fucked up over this
[00:36:23] I'm getting sleepy as a bitch right now
[00:36:25] There you go. How about that take a take a bump dude taking out a roll. Yeah, let's do some coke bro
[00:36:32] Yeah, I don't want to die. I worry about my heart
[00:36:46] It's so funny that they almost made vaping illegal
[00:36:49] Are they not going to anymore? No, they figured out what it was. What was it? It's uh?
[00:37:02] No, now we're gonna figure out if Joe Biden should go to jail in Ukraine. Yeah, what the fuck is going on Ukraine?
[00:37:10] I don't know who gives a shit. This everything is gay. I know it's like there's no point in paying attention
[00:37:18] The the one that got him in trouble hunter is pretty tight though. He's the one that fuckers brother
[00:37:31] That guy should be friends with Ian Delaware, dude. Mm-hmm. That's the Delaware. Yeah, they make them different down
[00:37:39] Yeah, Delaware sucks. Oh, it's gays. They don't have taxes
[00:37:43] That's true. They don't have sales tax. Mm-hmm. So of income tax
[00:37:49] Why do corporations say that they're Delaware corporations because they don't have sales tax?
[00:37:55] So you why is that why is that I know I think I'm pretty sure when I worked at like a big company that was not a like
[00:38:02] Something that sold goods. They were like it said a Delaware corporation. I think it's corporate tax. I
[00:38:08] Don't know who cares who corporate now aware of
[00:38:16] Yeah, you never hope it's beach. They have a business podcast. They ever hope with beach, dude. Yeah, they have a gay beach
[00:38:24] I'm trying to go down there. Yeah, it's too late
[00:38:27] All the gay guys are home. I'm trying to go up to New England now that it's that's sure
[00:38:31] I'm gonna go up to New England eat chowder and eat peanuts in a bar and then drive back home. Yeah
[00:38:40] Just go up there. I'm like I'm here for the chowder and peanuts
[00:38:44] I don't fuck with peanuts in the bar. Do you really I love that shit?
[00:38:47] I love I love going to five guys and just eating the peanuts and leaving
[00:38:51] I like that five guys like people with peanut allergies can't even walk in
[00:38:58] She when there was like a restaurant like when restaurants would have peanuts all over the ground and it'd be like Texas style or something
[00:39:05] Yeah, no, I said the first time I ever went to a bar that had free peanuts
[00:39:09] You could do that and then when I went to five guys and I had the peanuts and I was just spitting fucking on the ground
[00:39:14] Shells all over the ground my friend was with me. He's like what the fuck are you doing?
[00:39:25] Yeah, I've been my fucking legs are sore from all these squats dude
[00:39:30] You're doing squats. I'm trying to get big ass ass cheeks. Why are you doing squats and where to be strong dude?
[00:39:39] In the matrix your gym is made you called the matrix matrix sick
[00:39:46] Ooh my man's dropped get in his second diet soda. Yeah, maybe I'm about to do the Pepsi challenge
[00:39:51] I'm sure you drink 35 Pepsi and if you drink all of them
[00:39:59] You get to replace Godfrey at the seller
[00:40:04] Job away from them. They give it to me. Is that way so yipped? I don't know I
[00:40:08] Think he was the seven up guy, right? Yep. Yeah, there were Lando Orlando Jones
[00:40:14] And then Godfrey was Orlando Bloom. Yeah
[00:40:17] You know Matt TV yours, huh Orlando Jones was a Matt TV cast member for a while of course
[00:40:31] Shut up, you know, that's how I see a girl. It's the cat
[00:40:41] Juices no, it's not that's not what happens to yeah
[00:40:48] And she's laughing like an entire elementary school of Japanese girls
[00:40:56] Well, clow whole third grade class of Japanese. We'll just sneeze still at once
[00:41:02] It's what your sneezes sound like it's what your sneezes sound like
[00:41:06] When is the fucking Joker coming out dude? I'm trying to see that shit, dude the Joker
[00:41:13] I know you should you should go to the theater in the outfit in the makeup. Yes a fat
[00:41:19] Morbidly obese Joe regular obese Joker big ball
[00:41:24] First while I'll be wearing the yeah the green wig
[00:41:35] Why do they let Steve Harvey play the Joker? He's already got the purple suit
[00:41:40] Black Joker yeah, Joker he keeps calling himself black you
[00:41:50] What's the what's the ideal role for Steve Harvey, dude?
[00:41:53] If you could pick him. I think it's I think it's Steve Harvey. That's put in like a movie
[00:41:58] That's why he had the Steve Harvey show and he still played Steve Harvey
[00:42:02] Where he was a teacher that's you but his name was Steve Harvey. Yeah, mr. Harvey wait wasn't Harvey
[00:42:11] Hightower that said and Cedric was Cedric the teacher
[00:42:19] Every episode of that show it's just Steve and Cedric pointing to their temple real quick and saying things back and forth
[00:42:28] Yeah, it's because really what you got to do is educate
[00:42:36] And then there's like one white guy in the show but he was retarded because he got shot in the head bullet head. Yeah
[00:42:44] Damn, I want to watch Steve Harvey. You never show Steve Harvey
[00:42:47] But I want to watch it. That was that was my that was what I went to bed to do. Yeah
[00:42:55] That was a good one. That was a good one. The chick on that show was really hot fancy. Yeah
[00:43:13] What was the guy's name Brixton or Brux yeah, the guy was just gay. Yeah, just tall Carlton, but gay yeah
[00:43:21] The character's name should have been gay
[00:43:30] The hottest though was the old what I jacked off to quite the most of all of
[00:43:42] You just jacked off to all the girlfriends
[00:43:45] I would throw she would get in the mix every once in a while. She was not my go-to
[00:43:48] She's the one who's kind of eyes pop out of her hottest one left the show and didn't come back
[00:43:56] She's one of those people like quit acting to be Christian or something. Oh, that sucks the dark one with the big
[00:44:02] Tits. Oh, yeah, she ruled she didn't quit the show. She was on for a while. She left after one of the seasons. No
[00:44:10] I like the one that was kind of like a fake
[00:44:20] What's her face like but one of the problems you had watching the show is hard to get your dick hard
[00:44:35] Oh, it's hard to get your dick hard unless you took blue chute. That's right except I could I mean
[00:44:41] Yeah, it was hard. I like the one that was kind of like a fake Lisa bonus. She was high shit, too
[00:44:47] Stig Morpheus being like you take the blue pill
[00:44:51] And your dick gets hard and you don't get to see the matrix
[00:44:57] It's not really anything on the table. He's like you take the blue pill you wake up tomorrow and the dream ends
[00:45:01] But you know there's a matrix. This is a weight wipe his memory
[00:45:06] I don't know what the fuck no they play they play wipe his memory. Yeah, I would yeah
[00:45:10] Or you just think it's a dream. I can't even wipe my own ass
[00:45:14] I'm gonna I never even finish wiping my ass. How you gonna wipe my say you wipe my memory. That's so true. That's true
[00:45:20] Well, I'm saying here my client molested this child and her memory was wiped. I can't even wipe my own
[00:45:42] His client molested again, but it was what and then he's arguing against the idea of a memory wife
[00:46:01] This little girl had her memory wiped I
[00:46:05] Do not believe it not not for a single day with good Lord's Christmas
[00:46:17] My pants and show you the shit smeared up all the way to the top of my ass crack right now
[00:46:28] Hey, I guess your client is guilty then if she didn't have her memory
[00:46:35] No, what I'm saying did have I'm saying she's lying
[00:46:39] Okay, she had a memory of the point I'm making is it like how could she ever remember why you can't wipe your ass
[00:46:45] Because the saying she remembers the lawyer for the rapist get right she's saying they remember it now but you got your name
[00:47:06] Was crazy is he is probably like what does a memory wipe even me? Yeah, they say that she took a blue pill Morpheus my client Morpheus
[00:47:17] Know that blue chew is actually a dick bill. It's the best
[00:47:28] Experiences and inability to fully wipe his own ass
[00:47:31] It's often hard for me to get erect when a woman is recalling from the smell of my Buddha cheeks covered in shit
[00:47:40] And I go to blue chew calm no questions asked no doctor visits
[00:47:45] They connect you with an online specialist will get you diagnosed with bad dick in a
[00:47:53] And yeah, that's right the cotto rhythm of a of a Tennessee heartbeat
[00:48:00] By a quarter note you'll have some of those famous blue jazz blue gun pills said directly to your house
[00:48:07] Thank you very much mr. Morpheus's lawyer. Yeah
[00:48:17] Me that my client wiped this little girl's memory with nothing more than one of the most effective dick pills on the market today
[00:48:26] Generic brand Viagra and Cialis, but in a chewable format so it can work quick twice as fast as
[00:48:33] The traditional medicines, but not for wiping the memory of this little girl here who I will assert again
[00:48:45] That's right everyone so you use blue chew calm blue chew calm
[00:48:52] Slash come to get them. Let me get my my court files up here. Mm-hmm for the rest of John
[00:48:58] I'm sorry. I didn't have you ever seen a
[00:49:01] Dry white season no it's like one of the later like Marlon Brando movies where he plays a lawyer in apartheid South Africa
[00:49:09] hell yes, and the just fatish it just fatish it and he's representing this like white Donald Southern plays this like white
[00:49:18] Teacher whose gardener was like kidnapped and murdered by the police
[00:49:21] for like looking into like where his son was who was also murdered by the police and
[00:49:30] You know if there's any opportunities for an inquiry to
[00:49:44] I love that motherfucker dude just being like yeah, just I'm gonna do cue cards actually for a movie yeah
[00:49:50] Yeah, he's just I guess he got nominated for something, but he just plays this like fat drunk and effective
[00:49:56] Lawyer, it's very funny. That's awesome. I'm the kind of guy that would probably need blue chew blue chew to keep his cock hard
[00:50:04] I mean you recently used blue chew's in your personal life, but not fantastic. You can vouch a hundred percent mm-hmm
[00:50:11] You know, it's not fantastic is when you take one and then you don't know
[00:50:19] Here's how good the dick pill is even with no pussy around your heart is shit. Yeah your dick is twitching
[00:50:25] You're just sitting there shitting incredibly hard dick on turbo hard
[00:50:30] Without even a sin so much as a sintilla of pussy
[00:50:49] Okay, I'm trying to but I can't see the copy of my huge dick because it's hard. Oh, yeah
[00:50:56] We all take them before yeah, I think you're all out and they're all hard, but we get pussy after
[00:51:01] So yeah, we don't have to oh we get pussy. We don't have to jack off our incredible day. You can say that again
[00:51:08] We don't have to jack off our incredible dick. You can absolutely
[00:51:11] I like to make a woman take off our clothes and be like yeah, I could fuck you
[00:51:15] But I'm like fucking 100 for 100 on sex. I'm not trying to fuck up my perfect record. Oh really? Yeah
[00:51:22] You're perfect. This is 100 for 100 mean every you've only had 600 times only a sex 100 times every time I've
[00:51:37] That bitches now that single bitches ever beat me
[00:51:40] Wow, you're the winner. I've always won
[00:51:47] And there's a great deal for you guys visit blue chew commigator first order free when you use homo code com
[00:51:59] To get there just pay five dollars shipping that's blue chew commo
[00:52:06] Didn't think it's that long to say homo code. Yeah
[00:52:14] Whoo yeah, I like to counteract the blue chew by drinking died dr. Pepper to get my sperm fucked up. Oh, yeah
[00:52:22] Yeah, does it really fuck your sperm? Oh, I thought it was yellow Gatorade
[00:52:27] I dated this girl at this dumb friend who got pregnant because like she was dating some guy that was like
[00:52:35] Mountain Dew all the time so you should just let me bust
[00:52:42] Yeah, respect like not even no condom pulling out nothing all in her pussy
[00:52:52] Respect dude them that man should be a lawyer. Yeah, make that man fucking president of the debate team. Yeah
[00:53:04] To beat me off have you ever got anyone pregnant? No nice. I mean, I don't think so
[00:53:09] Yeah, I just been like women who have been like I'm at my period for two months and then they have it's like clearly a miscarriage
[00:53:18] God being like I got you man. You got a racist podcast to do in the future right exactly
[00:53:24] An angel was sent down to kick her. Yeah, the pussy. Yeah, then miscarriage situations happen like twice
[00:53:31] So maybe you have like those are pretty messy
[00:53:35] What's that so maybe you have weak sperm probably who gives a shit?
[00:53:39] Yeah, damn it must be so fucking must suck dick to get pregnant dude. Yeah to be with
[00:53:52] a little fucker in your body. Mm-hmm. Yeah
[00:53:56] Fuck kicking and shit grabbing your pussy from the inside grabbing your pussy from inside
[00:54:24] the classic soft gay songs of the early
[00:55:03] You fuck my lot of love it sucks. He really does he just like what you know, it's crazy
[00:55:09] It's like how the fuck did why was anybody listening to this show?
[00:55:12] It's like why is anybody going to see Lyle love it crazy. Well, he never like starred anything
[00:55:17] He was just a julia Roberts at her prime, dude. Yeah, peak Julia Roberts. I love was getting
[00:55:23] I guess you're talking about his music. Yeah, of course, but like music sucks dick music was trash
[00:55:30] Listen to its country be so funny. It's like I love it. It's been like a huge fan of the show for years
[00:55:36] That would be really fucking damn it. No, he's at home. Just like all sad with his fucking ugly ass face
[00:55:42] Probably a big ass dick dude. Yeah, he looks like a ugly guy's a big dick. Yeah, he's taking he's got blue shoes on
[00:55:54] Yeah, dude fucking we're number one finger
[00:55:58] And then he made himself then he made himself. This is Lyle
[00:56:03] What is stupid as name Lyle and his in his podcast listening station
[00:56:10] Do you I want to start posting it just like fake just to set up on reddit?
[00:56:14] I mean like I got my podcast listening room all set up. It's just a shitty chair with like 10 million speakers
[00:56:24] poster mark marin and then there's like
[00:56:26] You know like things I've calmed on all over the floor and fucking Doritos bags. Yes, sir. Yeah
[00:56:34] That would be fucking time to read it for like a video game collection. Oh
[00:56:39] Fuck yeah to show how many video games you have and there's people that like just have rooms are like my my collection
[00:56:48] So fucking good. It's really all it's really sad. Yeah
[00:56:53] It's like that's that's what they aspire to they were in like
[00:56:57] No, you know what is that even yeah, that's sad was even sadder is there's a guy being like damn
[00:57:04] Yeah, and he has like half of that many games
[00:57:06] You know what I mean like there's a guy who's not even that guy who wishes he was yeah now because I was like I was looking at old
[00:57:15] I don't know sometimes I just I read about
[00:57:18] Connectors and video signals or whatever. I got for cover it started
[00:57:21] I think I started like reading about like console televisions. Mm-hmm. Do you remember those?
[00:57:25] Like the big two-pass motherfuckers well the ones with a VCR in them
[00:57:30] No the ones that like look like a fucking
[00:57:32] Like yeah like a credenza. Oh like a piece of furniture. Yeah, like a good box
[00:57:39] Yeah from like the 60s. Yeah, I fucked with those yeah my grandpa had one and
[00:57:44] It's like we you know you just accept things, but then you get older and you're like what the fuck was that shit?
[00:57:50] I know it's like well. Yeah, it's also a table or something. Yeah. Yeah, it was just furniture dude. Yeah
[00:57:57] You know those and I started looking at like Sony
[00:58:00] CRT reference monitors and apparently the
[00:58:05] video game community the retro gaming collection community they buy these like
[00:58:12] Like reference monitors that accept like an RGB signal because it makes I mean there's no way quality is better
[00:58:20] Zero chance it makes it better. Yeah, the fucking no chance in the world. Yes
[00:58:24] Look better than just using whatever cable hundred percent super Nintendo
[00:58:28] I agree with that and then there's these guys that spend like
[00:58:31] $1,200 on shitty outdated technology that like doesn't make sense to use at all
[00:58:37] And then the monitors themselves are like fucking 14 to 20 inches. Yeah, tiny what yeah, it looks awful like a kitchen to you
[00:58:44] Yeah, but then you know the boxes are huge because they're made for like
[00:58:49] Like like network news rooms and shit. Oh
[00:58:52] Shit you like monitor recordings and make sure that they're like color accurate what yeah
[00:59:00] I saw a thread on reddit where somebody's like I just picked this up for $900
[00:59:05] And then one guy's like yeah, that's really stupid. This is all just junk
[00:59:10] You're just collecting garbage and selling garbage to each other and all these like these are probably like you're in the wrong
[00:59:18] Just getting all defensive about just blowing their parents money on
[00:59:25] News TVs I cannot believe there's a market like wouldn't they be able to just find that in the trash?
[00:59:33] I guess there's probably an application for like smaller like you do probably do need color accurate monitors for
[00:59:40] Video applications if you're doing something with that, but no, it's probably entirely propped up by one retard on like these
[00:59:50] Forums like 10 years ago is probably like well look what I did and then the rest of them are like yep
[01:00:01] What are they been playing like fucking Atari yeah, they're playing like fucking Super Mario world. Yeah, it sucks
[01:00:09] It's really stupid. Oh my god, especially because I just played I they put like all a bunch of Super Nintendo games on switch
[01:00:16] I just replayed Super Metroid and I guarantee you you're not having a better experience not even close
[01:00:22] Yeah, it's so easy you do it on a whim. You just download the shit. Yeah play for like eight hours
[01:00:28] Yeah, it's great. I love it. It's a great game. I don't need a fucking
[01:00:35] From 1997. Oh my god. It's really sad man. Imagine how little pussy those guys get yeah, just negative amounts of pussy. Yeah
[01:00:43] Oh, yes, probably never yeah, yeah, yeah, they don't have
[01:00:57] Like being there being a 38 year old man who's nervous to talk to a woman. Yeah
[01:01:02] There was a guy like that who would do open mics in DC
[01:01:06] This guy that was like fat and bald and ugly is like it wasn't even like if he lost the weight
[01:01:10] He would still be like a zero right right like an absolute. There's no path
[01:01:16] No path to push there's no way. Yeah, and he would just constantly get fired from jobs for sleeping
[01:01:24] And he lived with his parents and he just he was like 42 and just like never even got a taste oh
[01:01:34] Oh fuck yeah, they were like people were like why like why I remember asking like why doesn't just buy a
[01:01:41] prostitute and they were like I don't know like you get to that point. It's like you just give up on it. It's like
[01:01:47] That's great. Oh, you know, just like doesn't even get horny. Yeah, you know, he had a stroke
[01:01:52] I think and then it got even worse damn his dick got even softer. Yeah, his life got worse like lost function
[01:02:08] Oh, I gotta say it is cool to have sex. I wish I never had
[01:02:16] I'm never gonna stop bro. Yeah. I love this shit
[01:02:21] Dude, I'm literally obsessed with pussy and it's exhausting nice man
[01:02:26] What do people people say that online? They're like I'm so exhausted
[01:02:45] I'm looking that guy up to see it's alive to see if yeah
[01:02:52] I'm and it's tempting to say his name, but I don't want to because yeah, yeah, definitely he doesn't have so I guess Tom
[01:02:58] I was on frantic tonight. Oh what damn no one's gonna come with funny moms. Yeah, all the heads are gonna be a francey
[01:03:10] Damn you understand look at this guy. Oh, yeah, you're jet-lagged. Oh, yeah
[01:03:22] Yeah, cuz they're had to raise money for him after the stroke damn
[01:03:27] And it is really sad like in abstract is much funnier. Yeah
[01:03:37] Yeah, like sometimes when we describe someone I'm like wow we're making up of caricature. No one would ever exist
[01:03:44] That has that yeah, it's really sad when you look here's a video of him doing comedy and it's like he looks
[01:03:49] Like stop well, no, yeah, I mean from this from that distance
[01:03:56] You guys he looks like you with teeth. I think I'm cuter than that man. Yeah, he's fatter. He's not a strong. Yeah
[01:04:05] I'm stronger. He's kind of got a Peter Griffin body. Yeah, it's gonna be sad when you have a stroke. I won't do
[01:04:14] I'm too strong. I've been eating too much seafood to have a stroke seafood rules. Oh, yeah
[01:04:22] I might go out tonight and get a little Chilean sea bass
[01:04:25] I just had read myself. I have me a salmon trying to start up a conversation with other people in the restaurant
[01:04:31] Hey folks doing. Yep. You're about to Shane Gillis thing
[01:04:35] I'm here by myself. I'm actually I'm waiting for somebody not by myself. I don't know which answer is better
[01:04:43] What are you guys doing? What do you guys up to? Can I can I join do you mind if I join you family night, huh?
[01:04:48] Family style. What are you guys? What is it a daughter or something? How old how much younger? How we were grating you in sweetie
[01:05:01] 11th grade I was yeah, I remember being that age. Yeah, just chasing pussy
[01:05:08] left and right getting it. I bet there's guys I bet guys are all about you
[01:05:15] And well, I look motherfucker. You could have just talked about the Shane thing
[01:05:21] You're the one that made me feel awkward. I know what the fuck I was to say this bitch is sitting here, you know
[01:05:27] Fuck him. What am I not supposed to address the elephant in the room? Hello?
[01:05:33] We're all thinking it we're all think we're all
[01:05:37] Tits everyone is thinking about fucking
[01:05:41] I mean that's the problem with today's world
[01:05:43] Maybe you know, maybe you haven't had to talk with your job
[01:05:47] But maybe I'll do it for you right now if you ever fuck anyone
[01:05:57] Slut you're not welcome here at congee village
[01:06:02] Isn't that right I'm like calling the waiter ever
[01:06:08] Like no, I don't want sauce. I'm just calling this girl a slut. Yeah, we don't have there's no sauce
[01:06:13] Okay, I wasn't asking but that's absurd you should have sauce
[01:06:21] Kind of fucking Chinese restaurant doesn't have sauce
[01:06:26] Damn, dude Adam you got anything you want to say no, I was letting you let you work that one out. Yeah, I don't know
[01:06:37] Yeah, I know I'm too tired to do shit you don't want to go to the show now
[01:06:41] I'm gonna go but I did solo style last week with the receipt. It was really fun
[01:06:45] So you did it solo style, but someone else joined you without the boys without you guys. That's what solo. Okay. All right
[01:06:51] Mr. fucking I did it all by myself except someone helped me
[01:06:56] You're like you're like a baby that thinks it made dinner
[01:06:59] Because it because it was in the kitchen with this mom fucking was in the kitchen with the mom
[01:07:04] No, we're seeing okay, baby Adam. No, you're a
[01:07:07] Okay, you do a half a cup of milk in the measuring cup for baby Adam's thinking I made dinner baby
[01:07:16] Yeah, that's it. It's so proud of making pastries with my mom be like I made this
[01:07:32] Stoppy.binslash tour. I'm doing a big-ass tour. I just announced it
[01:07:38] Houston fucking dad Detroit whatever man just look at my website