Cum Town | Regular | 10/03/2019
[00:00:00] First of all the questions they do them in a reverse order which is like what the how you supposed to know the first question
[00:00:06] He goes, you know, he says let me get our famous paintings for $200
[00:00:11] Okay, what paint why don't know the fucking paintings and he says this side her famous smile
[00:00:17] This guy says her famous smile is known all over the world in this classic
[00:00:22] Paint by Leonardo clicking you asked me in the regular way first of all is only one answer to that miss faggot
[00:00:28] Yeah, yeah, you know you your friend your boyfriend Leonardo paints for you. Yeah, first of all
[00:00:37] And I'm not gonna I'm not gonna say it. Yeah, but I may have already done. Yeah. Oh, yeah fuck
[00:00:43] Yeah, the fucking counselors said we're not supposed to say slurs no more. Yeah, man
[00:00:51] Fuck yeah, I got caught stealing car batteries
[00:00:57] And I can't call people gay no more they said no more slur they charged me with a hate crime
[00:01:04] First if we're calling everybody a faggot at the nappa while stealing batteries out the back
[00:01:11] And how did I know they was all gay? I was just calling them that because they called the fucking police on me
[00:01:17] Come to find out them them. We're all fucking gay. It's a gay nappa
[00:01:23] They did they did a now this a little sistine second video about it. I keep being called out by that now
[00:01:31] Every two weeks they got me on there. They're fucking you fucking video about my god
[00:01:36] Yeah, you know me saying some shit like we ain't all been mad before
[00:01:41] Yeah, you put a fucker you put the deed to your grandfather's house on the Ravens beating the Browns
[00:01:49] You're gonna say the m were a couple times when it doesn't come in you're gonna get into a fight with a child
[00:01:55] You're good. Yeah, that motherfucker was looking at me. Oh
[00:01:59] That little and I don't care what people say chon. These people can read people's moms. They can read
[00:02:04] They should go on that effort each other. They should go on a pretty y'all's watch your effort any other day
[00:02:09] It's my face says I'm looking love that pretty yeah, this famous orange bridge
[00:02:15] I was like boobababab the Garfield bridge. Yep. Mm-hmm. No turns out to find out ain't even though Garfield bridge in the world
[00:02:22] Which is the Golden Gate bridge which the first of all bitch them. Why is it called gold golden? Yeah?
[00:02:29] It should be which golden bridge the orange no gate. There's no gate ain't no fucking gate there
[00:02:35] Your options are gate or bridge you chose bridge should be called a orange bridge, yeah
[00:02:41] Bridge into homo town the gate shit fuck
[00:02:51] Yeah, everyone was telling us we need to get into twitch streaming. Mm-hmm
[00:02:55] So but that no don't nobody snitch on us though. Yeah, we got a show on NPR coming up called our talk
[00:03:10] 1993 Honda Civic is having trouble starting in the winner. Okay, and I
[00:03:16] I've used so what I've used cold start it's cold at cold start stuff before and that works
[00:03:22] But for whatever reason now, that's not working anymore and sometimes it stalls a traffic like okay, that could be first of all you
[00:03:29] I don't know who the fuck you think hold on. Yeah, you're getting mechanic stuff for free for me
[00:03:35] I'll never touch the car. Am I know what race she is because it's our talk. Oh everybody's you assume everybody's blick everybody
[00:03:44] You know if I hear the answer to every question go to that fucking gay nappa and steal whatever the fuck you need
[00:03:53] Why don't you head to that? I'm not gonna say it, but the faggot napa
[00:03:57] No, you stop all right. We're about to get arrested
[00:04:03] This is your man, man, this is just Vinny's life
[00:04:12] Whoo, what's up everybody welcome the motherfucking come town for the week? Yeah, I'm Italian
[00:04:17] So, you know that you know I got arrested for slurs when I was seven years old
[00:04:21] Mm-hmm. We used to have to go around the neighborhood and call everyone a neighborhood of slur
[00:04:27] Yeah, what does Vinny sound like I don't know exact I mean I can't remember his voice. He's from Connecticut, right? Yeah
[00:04:34] But he's dumb. That's why that's why it's kind of weird. Yeah. Oh wait
[00:04:38] I didn't realize Nelson gets pussy from Lisa Nelson gets pussy from Lisa. That's the name of the episode
[00:04:48] Really? Mm-hmm. That's why it's not that's why they're showing sex and stuff. No, no
[00:04:52] I remember that actually I do remember this because the only people that still watch the Simpsons are 47 years old
[00:04:58] They're like yeah, I still watch this and SNL. That's right and
[00:05:04] She finds out that he's from a broken home and shit and she like empathizes with him. No, she likes him because he's rude
[00:05:10] Oh, yeah, she doesn't care that the broken home thing turns her off. Whoa really? Yeah, so Lisa's a bitch
[00:05:17] She's a bitch is this is this the episode of television you watch every day
[00:05:21] Oh me. Yeah, why because someone love they love a guy because he's rude. Oh
[00:05:31] I'm not making a decision to be rude. I
[00:05:38] You know it's I know you wouldn't call Chinese people rude because they want to get wood shit and piss yes
[00:05:43] You do and you would do it often. No, that's their culture. I will I'll call them rude for that. Yeah
[00:05:48] I'll take a stand. I don't know if some Chinese guy wants to pull turds out of his son's ass with chopsticks in the middle
[00:05:56] The third chopsticks in there didn't you
[00:06:19] Well we're here another freaking week no Adam he's a
[00:06:23] Adam's a Shana Adam's taking one of his cool vacations. That's right to Vegas
[00:06:33] To Brisbane is that's still the dumbest thing I've ever heard
[00:06:37] Shout out Brisbane Australia we call it Brace Vygus
[00:06:43] Yeah, but we're not caught we're not gonna you guys can continue calling it that that's fucking dumb
[00:06:47] Yeah, it doesn't there's no pun there is you just shoved the first half of your it doesn't make any sense
[00:06:54] Brace Vegas that was I those always made me laugh
[00:06:57] It's like right around when the our women funny debates started happening they came up with that word man
[00:07:02] Splaining which is like that sounds nothing like explaining. No it doesn't work on any level
[00:07:09] Explain those heart you should have hired a comedy writer to come up. What would you have gone with?
[00:07:18] That sounds involves that sounds like it's about but it makes more sense in terms of what about mexplaining oh like when a Mexican
[00:07:27] Is explaining something he's like weather corn and then there's flour in the corn ones are better for breakfast
[00:07:35] But the flower ones are I mean he could be I guess he could be explaining anything, you know, but I guess yeah
[00:07:41] Mm-hmm probably tortilla. I like to go up to Rebecca Tracer
[00:07:44] And I tell her like listen you're probably too much of a dumb woman to know that the corn ones
[00:08:06] Yeah, fuck indeed. I was just in freaking
[00:08:16] They love saying it dumb there lovable when you meet somebody from a little like well we actually say it's I don't care
[00:08:24] No one cares town. So shut up shut up go back there go the fuck you know
[00:08:28] We have a way of saying it that no one cares
[00:08:31] No one gives a zero. No one cares is there anything that your town does besides baseball bats?
[00:08:37] Mm-hmm nothing that is cool though to have the Louisville Slugger. Yeah to be the place that you make little baseball bats
[00:08:45] I would like to be that town. Yeah to be a baseball bat
[00:08:55] Somebody I got sent email I gotta read what's that I got sent email that I gotta read okay?
[00:09:04] What kind of email? That's like a legally. I gotta apologize. Oh legally. Yeah, okay
[00:09:10] Yeah, well shots out to everyone who came out the Indianapolis Fort Wayne and Louisville
[00:09:15] Now that they got Indians there yes because in Greek Indianapolis means Indian City
[00:09:24] Which yeah, it just means Indiana City means Indian City
[00:09:32] Yes, it's a bunch of Indians with just boat shoes on yeah walking around the sand and shorts
[00:09:40] Yeah, I didn't know they had an Indian in applet's he's like let's get some fucking grab kicks
[00:09:45] Once you go to the reserve officer club and get some fucking grab kicks
[00:09:55] Yeah, I can't wait to go to the old timey post office and get a quill pen
[00:10:02] I'm trying to sell my boat. Yeah, I'm from Indian, Savannah Park
[00:10:06] I'm from Indian Glen Berkeley. I am we struck a rich man here brother
[00:10:24] Wow dude this podcast just bought itself two extra years of life
[00:10:42] These these fagat knows the answer to say the f all right because because we are being they will send me to
[00:10:48] Yeah, they will send me to you for doing it. Yeah
[00:10:58] Yeah, that place was tight though. I did have a I had a great time
[00:11:02] Shout out let's comedy shout out. I met the guy who made the fart compilation YouTube video a bit a huge pioneer
[00:11:10] Mm-hmm. Thank you for that my friend whoever came up with whoopee cushions, dude. Oh fucking a
[00:11:20] Fucked up prankster. Yeah, well, it's funny. It's like, you know, this show makes too much money
[00:11:24] Yes, and it's like wow this is weird and it kind of puts you in like a weird like, you know, it makes you feel weird
[00:11:30] Mm-hmm, but then I think about stuff like that
[00:11:32] It's like that guy probably has so much money. It's like it's not even he didn't do anything
[00:11:37] Yeah, there was already he had one dumbass idea for a second
[00:11:41] I know but it's like balloons already existed. That's true
[00:11:44] He's like what if there was just but it all it did was you you put it on it's because they don't work either
[00:11:49] Yeah, they stopped working about for they never work
[00:11:52] You have to sit directly on it if you put it under a cushion it won't work
[00:11:55] I remember trying to prank people with a whoopee cushion when I was a kid you do you put it under the chair and you
[00:12:01] Well, you wait. Yeah, yeah, and then they just sit on the chair. Nothing happens
[00:12:06] And you're like well, this is fucking sucks. This is stupid and then you make them just sit on it
[00:12:10] When that it would just never work. I tried hiding that fucking thing everywhere under the carpet
[00:12:16] Hmm, you know be like hey mom come in here. She's like no. You're like, please please
[00:12:22] I never ask anything please. Can you please come in here? I'm like, can you stand on that lump?
[00:12:30] Please you're gonna you're gonna be such a fucking dumb bitch. Yeah, you're gonna accidentally for her does nothing
[00:12:56] Stupid shit you're stupid go back to supporting my life. I'm glad you got it divorced
[00:13:02] I'm glad you're go go back to drinking in the kitchen bitch alone. I got your hat you're experiencing a divorce right now
[00:13:24] That's how you wanted it to go down or is all you wanted was for that to happen for you to save those things
[00:13:32] For about seven minutes just tee off on your recently divorced mother just
[00:13:37] Fucker ass up for farting and she's like I guess I probably did fart gas lighter
[00:13:54] Make her rethink some things that is the problem with would be cushions man, uh-huh that whole thing we just said yeah
[00:14:01] She's like I don't think I farted you like well maybe it came from your pussy
[00:14:07] How do you even you six years old? How do you know these things?
[00:14:16] Shut up, I'm gonna tell the fucking the arbitrator that you beat me
[00:14:21] I'm gonna sign an affidavit I'm gonna find a follow an America's brief friend of the court that says that you beat me I've got it my prankster kid
[00:14:51] Half a David make your parents divorce worse with the with the sneaky devil prankster
[00:14:59] So we'll be cushion and a signed affidavit
[00:15:02] Declaring that in whether you put your mom or your dad's name in here so that it says they beat
[00:15:13] By the special molestation add-on by it just comes with a butter hand buzzer just like Harriet the spy
[00:15:20] And use these doctored photos of your dad getting a blowjob from the babysitter just cut and paste your dad's face
[00:15:27] Let's get a picture of your dad with the included Polaroid camera and pasted
[00:15:34] using the double-sided tape to paste it's dad's face and then do these
[00:15:40] Pre-stamped envelopes to mail them to your mom
[00:15:45] With a note that says just felt like you should know just wanted to trick do pranks to your parents
[00:15:52] It's only kids only kids if you're in the room walk out right there's not allowed to watch this commercial
[00:16:05] Yeah, dude, that's a good product a little pranks that little devil prankster kid, uh-huh
[00:16:13] It's a suction cup to put hickies on your mom's neck. She's asleep
[00:16:18] Before your dad gets home, and this is just a little cocaine to put in her coffee so she fails her drug test
[00:16:25] So put things gets fired from her secretary job
[00:16:31] Then she won't be able to support you you'll get to live in an orphanage you get a bunch of cool kids boys only
[00:16:38] Playing Genesis all day long doesn't that sound great. Isn't that sound cool? There's Sega Saturn at the orphanage
[00:16:45] It's just it's just a product of the guy who owns the orphanage the molest children created
[00:16:58] Made by ham saban the coolest prank now introducing the fake
[00:17:12] You can sneak into your mom's at the doctor
[00:17:16] Maker thinks she has breast cancer and then a note from your dad that says that's why he left
[00:17:24] This makes things doesn't work he already knew the idea of your mom's breast being sick discuss him
[00:17:33] All of that and more the deluxe no pranksters did not the luck prank helping kids be the baddest boys
[00:17:44] Parents no not allowed no one what parents don't watch
[00:17:48] What's a vault this is a vault with a combination lock on the outside?
[00:17:53] Only kids says kids rule riddleings you have to be on riddle
[00:18:01] Tell your mom you're gonna keep setting fires in this school trash can and
[00:18:06] You get this little kid this kid and a sweet prescription to riddle it you need riddling every day
[00:18:16] Every day you need riddle in medicine and the prankster kid
[00:18:24] Fuck did you ever they ever put you on that shit my man no really yeah, my mom was like an anti-vaxxer
[00:18:29] Nice I wasn't on shit, but they wanted to huh. Oh, yeah
[00:18:33] Yeah, they're like he is severely retarded
[00:18:36] They wanted this on your ass my mom's like I have breast cancer and my pussy won't stop farting. I
[00:18:43] Don't need this right. Oh, I can't listen to this every week. I get a new picture of my ex husband getting a blow job
[00:18:49] I'm protecting services keeps observing me for mailing. Yeah mailing them to me, and there's just signed affidavit. They signed them
[00:19:04] Just don't put him on any drugs. Okay, no more riddling
[00:19:09] Yeah, they tried to put my little brother on that shit. He was a rowdy boy
[00:19:12] Yeah, but my parents just because they were villagers didn't trust that shit. Yeah, no
[00:19:17] I mean, it's like I they don't even prescribe riddle in anymore. Yeah, it's definitely fucked up
[00:19:21] There's I you I never even hear about riddling well they got at all they put them on anorol
[00:19:26] But yeah, you never hear about that shit definitely fucks kids up man if you're on that sure yeah
[00:19:30] I take that shit every once in a while just a fucking focus and I feel like I'm fucked up for like two days afterwards
[00:19:36] Yeah, it's not good for you. You can't sleep that day like I'll have a fuck to those kids sleep if they take it every goddamn day
[00:19:41] I don't think they do. Yeah. Yeah, they're just up jittering. It's fine
[00:19:47] My cousin was just on candy grown up on what he sees so much came. Oh, yeah, it's amazing
[00:19:53] He doesn't have diabetes now damn he's always like hyperactive and shit cuz he was just constantly like a fucking jawbreaker
[00:20:00] Hell yeah, that was like in like a bag from the grocery store. Mm-hmm
[00:20:04] So he was just like my memory of him as a kid is just drooling all over the shirt
[00:20:08] He's fucking the jawbreaker in a bag turned inside out like
[00:20:12] Yeah, and he just not even a zip lock like a plastic. Yeah, like you picked up turds off the sidewalk bag
[00:20:28] Why I don't know man, but he was just so hyper was he fat no no no rail thin damn
[00:20:35] Yeah, I mean, he's kind of fat now, but I mean he's surety. Yeah. Yeah
[00:20:39] That's the ideal, you know grow up skinny become fat
[00:20:42] Oh, yeah, cuz it's like you are you're fine. You got the best years in yep
[00:20:46] You know, it's like you know people like oh well those you know those people they're naturally them and the younger
[00:20:51] They get fat when they're older like oh you mean
[00:20:53] Yeah, yeah, yeah, I had sex yeah, so I'll be in shape
[00:21:03] But hey at least I'm in good shape now. Yeah, instead of when my personality was being formed. Mm-hmm. You know
[00:21:10] Yeah, it would have made me a normal sort of likable person
[00:21:14] Yeah, right who didn't hold a grudge against the entire world to the waiter treating me shit
[00:21:19] Only escape is making jokes about your mom having breast kit about pranking your mom and the thinking you have she has breast cancer
[00:21:35] Damn you save a man poor mill house is dead will you fuck my ass?
[00:21:48] Yeah, mm-hmm. That is correct the Simpsons part two
[00:21:57] Were redoing every episode and making it even funnier
[00:22:03] Look we all love the simps we're going back to the classic sims. We're taking another crack at some of these screen
[00:22:09] Yeah, we're doing we're just we're just punching up the old script those old flawed
[00:22:14] Simpsons look they had a bunch of Harvard hoity-toity fucking assholes. Why don't we get taken it?
[00:22:19] We're taking it blue collars blue car real blue collar guys makes three like nine times as much as the original right
[00:22:28] But the important thing is we still think being gay and in and of itself is a joke
[00:22:34] Yeah, but being blue collars all about fucking homophobia sticking into the facts
[00:22:39] It's not really it's more of a mentality. Yes, then you see Joe Biden saying that the middle class isn't a number
[00:22:45] It's more it's more of a way of life and thinking whatever. Yeah, it's like so we're gonna
[00:22:50] It's time to bring the middle class back by not letting Indian people in the movie theater
[00:22:55] Or whatever that however whatever your definition of the middle classes that doesn't involve any kind of economic analysis
[00:23:02] I cannot believe that mother fuckers and it's funny. It's because that shit works on people works on liberals
[00:23:06] That don't realize that they're just they're just extremely racist. No another they're real
[00:23:10] Well, what the fuck is the middle class if you take away the economics of it, right?
[00:23:14] That's what I mean people that tuck in their shirts. That's what I mean
[00:23:17] It's rich people that want to feel like they're fucking that one of their regular ass person
[00:23:22] I think it's more people that like used to do okay in the fucking 90s
[00:23:26] And then the bottom fell out and then they can't admit that it's like no you were a loser that was propped up by a fake economy
[00:23:33] Right, so you're like, oh no, we can get back to that. It's like no, you don't have any skills
[00:23:38] You could be a middle management guy that fucking did like smile to people and be like keep working on those spreadsheets
[00:23:46] 200,000 remember back in the 90s when like jobs were so good that there would be guys that would just go in and murder everyone in their
[00:23:53] You don't hear about office shootings anymore
[00:23:56] You think it's because jobs were good and he was bad. He lost it
[00:23:59] It was so the economy was so good then that like jokers had middle management position
[00:24:06] Guys are like now the profile of the shooter like he went oh I see because he just fucking you know
[00:24:11] He lived with his mom and he was an incel. It's like no that guy still would have shot a place up
[00:24:15] It's just he would have been earning eighty thousand dollars right fuck had a little apartment. Yeah
[00:24:20] That is true. Yeah. Yeah, you don't hear about workplace shootings because the economy. Yeah
[00:24:26] That's why we everybody wants those jobs now everybody you know you got it
[00:24:30] You know you know you're then you know you don't have to worry about somebody shooting of an office anymore
[00:24:34] Right because they're like well fuck if I shoot up this office, I'm gonna afford you know, yeah
[00:24:39] My my thirty eight thousand dollar month rent
[00:24:47] Four swimming pool last villa. Yeah, that's what I want
[00:24:51] Overhead I want one of those you know those mansions with like a marble swimming pool
[00:24:55] Yeah, and they're just waiting there with all the steam for somebody to garrot me
[00:25:03] Want my initials in the bottom of the pool. Yeah, then you look up from aerial view and you see big ass SH
[00:25:12] Wait, what GSH no your initials? No, that's not my business or essays. My name is stop Rose house case
[00:25:20] Okay, so there's no what are you fucking serious? I'm sorry man. The contractor's already did the pool
[00:25:26] Fuck how much is it gonna cost to fix it can't because the water is already in there. There's no way
[00:25:31] You can't take the water. Fuck. That's how pools are set up. Fuck. Well, what am I gonna tell people to come to my house now?
[00:25:37] I don't know you can tell them a sense for something other than gay, but well yeah, of course
[00:25:41] That's not my name the problem is is that there's a they're gonna know I know there's a butler who hands out little notes
[00:25:47] Cards to people that says the G stands for get what we already spellers. I'm sorry
[00:25:52] But we already paid the butler how much the kid goes and how much is that what could that possibly cost?
[00:25:58] For how long is it a lifetime contract? He's union
[00:26:08] When is the contract right now look you can't get rid of that guy's in the union. Oh fuck well
[00:26:13] This is really fucking annoying. Yeah, can we ask him to hand out something else?
[00:26:22] Sign that says I'm it doesn't stand for gay sign you want him to hand out a suit
[00:26:27] Only one person will get it. You're right dude. Fuck. That's impeccable logic
[00:26:34] Well, I suppose I'm gonna have to tell people my first name is gay and my middle name is star rose
[00:26:44] But I got to be honest with you man. I'm not too pleased about it
[00:26:49] Do you have that thing you have to read you I just sent it to you. Oh
[00:26:52] Oh, it's my fucking phone it fell. Do you want me to read it? No, we got some we got some minutes here
[00:27:00] Okay, what do you know? What do you say? There's the the orange bridge orange bridge?
[00:27:05] Mm-hmm. I would love to go on jeopardy and just threaten people just give the wrong answer and be like that's bullshit
[00:27:12] Fuck that fuck my buzzers fucking stuck my buzzer. I knew that just knocking the buzzer out other people saying
[00:27:18] Idiot. Yeah, it's saying every answer you get right you say boo yah like directly into the ear of the person next to you
[00:27:33] Okay, and Mike here had negative forty two thousand
[00:27:38] Read the next one run a next one. I'm gonna I'm about to get hot baby. Yeah, let's go to sports thirty two thousand dollars
[00:27:50] Now please do Russian literature the only one remaining
[00:27:55] Yeah, who is who's fucking toy story or whatever's name is
[00:28:00] Letter toy story. Yeah, yeah fucking war and peace by toy story
[00:28:06] They're like I just said that that's completely incorrect, but considering how close you were and how stupid you are
[00:28:15] Just for even sort of under sort of understanding that that man kind of exists
[00:28:32] In a caranina what's that's book about some hot bitch some dumb bitch who lives in a shitty house
[00:28:39] Did she get fucked by a soldier or something? I've never read any Tolstoy
[00:28:43] Yeah, yeah seems old when was that motherfucker live?
[00:28:52] I don't even know I have no idea probably 18
[00:28:55] The first half of the 18 so he shit all was 19th century so he shit was all lady
[00:29:00] I always hated that as a kid. I hate that. Why is it one off? Yeah, it's fuck you man. Yeah, just call it the right one
[00:29:08] It's so stupid. What what is the thinking there?
[00:29:11] It's like one of those things in the first century. Yeah, that's the first century fuck that
[00:29:17] So it would be weird to call that one the zero-ith century and because of that for the rest of them are fucked up
[00:29:24] Yeah, or the odd century anything yeah anything else. That's not the first century fuck that. Uh-huh the first century is 100
[00:29:32] From now on yeah, you listen motherfuckers anyone listening
[00:29:40] That makes so much sense makes what I'm saying it I feel so good the 19th century
[00:29:45] It's the 19th century. Do you know what I'm talking about the 1900? I know I'm imagining the 1900s while saying
[00:29:51] I'm thinking about flappers getting a fucking it makes me kidding sucked and now I'm saying 18th century and I'm picture
[00:29:58] steam steam one of the one of one out of
[00:30:01] Six stills from the cheers intro that's right and now I'm switching over to the 19th century and it's the second or third one
[00:30:09] Okay, you know now I'm thinking about sixies. I don't know now. I'm thinking about
[00:30:15] Days of heaven and I'm going back. I'm saying 18th century again in my head nice
[00:30:26] Yes, what 17th bitch weeks powdered week 17th. I'm now I'm thinking about the 16th century and I'm imagining pianos that sound shitty
[00:30:33] Yeah, but everyone pertain like that's good music. That's good shit cuz that's the only thing they have we have a child that has
[00:30:41] He's wearing a dress and he's the best at it
[00:30:45] But this bullshit instrument. That's with the 16th century
[00:30:48] Yes, or whatever, you know what you don't be crazy man if you could go back to those days man and like you know
[00:30:55] Wrap for those dude and just blow their minds. Absolutely. No, I'm seeing me
[00:31:00] If I could like could you imagine how their minds would be blown? Yeah, I could be like where are you getting all these crazy?
[00:31:11] And you would be the king of Vienna man, you would be the cool you get so much pussy in Vienna
[00:31:16] Yeah, they ain't never seen a wigger before me
[00:31:21] Now there's a toaster book I want to read
[00:31:33] Just some guide like winters were long in depressing in cold and Anna had breast cancer in both of her breast in brain cancer
[00:31:41] And everyone worked very hard and toiled and the winter was depressing and her babies
[00:31:46] They die and they could not eat and then winter in Vienna man crossed his pants and wore them backwards and spun around
[00:32:00] Wish I actually had read told I knew what what kind of shit he was like that you pretty much
[00:32:05] Probably Russians love being sad. I know but I've heard that told stories actually like quite sentimental. Oh, really?
[00:32:13] Mm-hmm. That sentimental is a Russian could be he's probably sad, but also like
[00:32:19] That is sentimental thinking it's bad that bad things happen. I'll tell you what I'm sentimental for
[00:32:28] Transition slash opening points. I don't know about you guys
[00:32:31] But for me my game is ten times more exciting when I'm putting money on I'm I I know and I agree
[00:32:38] Yeah, sometimes I have a gut feeling about a matchup and sometimes I'm just betting on my team because dude same
[00:32:46] Actually, that's the same. They were just saying that regardless
[00:32:49] Whether you've been betting for years or you're ready to play for the first time my bookie is your best bet this Oh my god
[00:32:56] I know I literally know yeah like honestly dude if you're the kind of guy who likes to bet a little to win a lot
[00:33:03] Mm-hmm try a parlay. Yeah, for instance if you like a couple of the big favorites this week
[00:33:10] Parlays are perfect because they let you bet multiple games together for a much bigger payout. I mean come on
[00:33:16] That's pretty cool. You know I still don't know what parlay means even after you said it. Yeah
[00:33:21] That's one of those words. Well, I do parlay is one of those words like rendezvous. They got used too much by
[00:33:30] And now it's I don't know what it means. Yes. Mm-hmm. What the fuck is a rendezvous? What's a rendezvous is a meetup?
[00:33:40] Jason Maraz ruined that one for me. I don't know what liaison is but I know what rendezvous is because it means date or a meetup
[00:33:47] Rendezvous parlay means you know what I just said which I understood. Yeah, I don't know it means
[00:33:53] So I'll tell you who does is the folk the good folks the good people my bookie
[00:33:57] I mean between freaking football season the MLB playoffs and the start of the NBA NHL seasons
[00:34:04] It's time to get off the fucking sideline and get in on the fucking action mate. Yeah, mate
[00:34:11] Listen might if you live in another country
[00:34:17] Maybe you care. I don't know probably try it. Just say you just lie about it to get the money
[00:34:29] Everybody here the Australian criminal here for my bookie calm
[00:34:34] I'm not allowed to use the website because I don't live in the United States
[00:34:38] But I violate both domestic Indian national laws to sign up and gamble my fake Australian money
[00:34:45] Yes on sports. I've never even heard of me. Oh, here's Australia's top sports rugby football
[00:35:02] We bring them into the bar it's one of the bars that we don't let him in normally and he's I go this is good
[00:35:15] That's one of their sports the guy told me that we're in Brisbane
[00:35:19] I know what guy told me that word remember that guy we were in Brisbane
[00:35:22] He pulled me aside and he was telling me a bunch of stuff. Yeah. Yeah, that guy said it
[00:35:26] Yeah, so it's that guy so if anyone is mad they should go to that guy that all his frog tattoos. Yeah, they're the Grover tattoo
[00:35:32] Yeah, he did you seem pretty enthralled with kind of his talking points. Well, what can I say? He was a charming guy
[00:35:38] He charmed me. Oh, you know, it's really charming is winning money winning money
[00:35:44] Let me tell you this if you're the kind of guy who likes to bet a little to win a lot
[00:35:54] If you like the couple of the big favorites this week parlays are perfect because they let you bet multiple games
[00:36:04] Yeah, man, if you really want to support your team this season, don't just sit on the fucking sidelines
[00:36:09] Yeah, get in the game with my bookie dot AG. Oh, it's a day G. Yeah, so if you're gonna bet this thing
[00:36:19] Do the smart thing and go to my bookie dot AG because no one gives you more ways to win
[00:36:25] Whether you've been betting for years or you're ready to play for the first time my bookie is your best bet
[00:36:29] Yeah, cuz I don't know about you guys, but for me a game is 10 times more exciting
[00:36:36] When I'm putting my money on it so true
[00:36:38] Sometimes I just have a gut feeling about a matchup and sometimes I'm just betting on my team because they're my team
[00:36:44] Oh my god. Yeah, what they call that tribalism
[00:36:48] Which we're again where I think is a good thing or it's for for it. Yeah
[00:36:53] So go to my bookie dot AG and if you join right now my bookie will double your first upon is that a G
[00:37:00] Dot attorney general. I don't know man. It's fine. I mean, let's say you know that they're on the other great
[00:37:04] Sleegly speaking is that they have an attorney general domain?
[00:37:09] That's right a lot of people they hear, you know illegal online sports betting that that
[00:37:15] They really that's a real big turn off some people
[00:37:18] Some people here criminal enterprise that they think I don't know
[00:37:23] I don't know about this, but I tell you my bookie dot com that's the only
[00:37:28] Website that has a dot attorney general dot AG. That's right
[00:37:31] Would they be doing anything illegal or have shady business practices with a dot attorney general not a domain?
[00:37:38] Yeah, of course not and we don't know if it stands for that for sure, but we have a hunch
[00:37:43] It could stand for a girl who which where you call them women liars
[00:37:46] Because if you are think educated I believe women I
[00:37:52] Believe them about Harvey Weinstein and I believe them when they said I don't know about you guys
[00:37:56] But for me a game is ten times more exciting when I'm putting my money on it. I believe I want to go that
[00:38:02] I believe the women that said that mm-hmm. We're at the at a girl top level domain
[00:38:09] So tell you what between football season the MLB playoffs and the start of the NBA
[00:38:14] NHL seasons it's time to get off the sideline and get it on the action
[00:38:18] Because this is a this is true if you use my bookie dot com
[00:38:21] They actually let you play in the games. Yep if you use it enough if you put enough money down at least it's gonna
[00:38:27] It starts around five hundred seven hundred thousand dollars once you put down if you make enough
[00:38:32] Well, that's actually true if you have enough money to buy one of the teams
[00:38:36] You can make yourself a player, but you have to do it through my book you have to bet that money first
[00:38:41] You have to bet the money you the only way to get enough money to buy an NHL team to demand to be on the ice
[00:38:47] Except your gloves also have razors in them nice
[00:38:51] That's what I would be the blades guy if I played in the NHL my style would be shredder
[00:38:59] Enforcer yeah, but I would I would have I would have two katanas
[00:39:04] Interesting and you would then slice the other people's like piano and I would cut people's
[00:39:16] Because I'm an enforcer that's yeah, dude, that's old that's not hockey. That's how hockey used to work back when Bobby or was on the ice
[00:39:26] Yeah, he says all that kind of shit. No Wayne Gretzky said is you fucking lose a hundred percent of the games
[00:39:34] Mmm, you don't they were you don't fuck or we're a katana on your sleeve Wayne Gretzky famously said you lose every game you ever play
[00:39:41] If you dig is tiny. Yeah, what if you if you're a bitch doesn't matter how many times you win you're still a bitch
[00:39:50] And if you join right join right now my bookie will double your first deposit if you really want to support your team this season
[00:39:56] Don't just sit on the sidelines get in the game with my bookie dot ag that's alpha
[00:40:06] Yeah, my bookie calm that's m is in Malford. Why is in yelpha?
[00:40:20] Whatever you get it and if you join right now my bookie will double your first deposit use promo code come town
[00:40:27] To activate the offer that's promo code come town to double your cash
[00:40:32] Dot ag today as an FAG no, just second letters. Just I mean, I guess technically yeah
[00:40:42] Technically speaking, but I wouldn't think of it that way guys
[00:40:44] I you I know I'm just saying if that's how you want to remember it no
[00:40:48] I think it's pretty easy look we're all familiar with the regular ass
[00:40:53] Agee domain name and no one needs to remember it you win get that's a regular website at my bookie
[00:41:04] patriotism slash Trump underscore bet dot virus
[00:41:10] Yeah, my bookie dot r u slash hunter underscore Biden penis pics
[00:41:27] Mm-hmm my bogey that kind of yeah promo code it's something like up to yet your first double your first deposit up to
[00:41:34] Yep, I don't know but yeah, como promo code
[00:41:47] The man you heard the man. Yeah, you heard the man his self. How about my cookie dot com and it's a delivery cookie website
[00:41:55] I'm gonna every and you sign up. It's it's 32 hours a month and every month you get a shipment of different types of cookies
[00:42:02] But here's the real trick is what I'm doing on the back end is going to all the mrs
[00:42:07] Fields franchises and buying their day old cookies where you get five pounds of cookies for five dollars is that real?
[00:42:13] Yeah, and then you just repackage them as like these thirty five dollar package specials smart fucking send them out to people
[00:42:20] I love that. Yeah, this is you really get that five pounds for five dollars when I used to work in the mall
[00:42:26] I would go to mrs. Fields and my lunch every day would be five pounds of cookies
[00:42:33] That's cost effective. It's funny how when you're like just trash
[00:42:36] Like things like that just makes sense. Mm-hmm. You're like, yeah takes care of lunch dinner
[00:42:45] You don't understand what you're doing to your body
[00:42:47] You don't know how much you're just how much better you'd feel if you had like a salad and a vegetable. Yeah, yeah
[00:42:54] I used to go to Burger King and fucking ask for like the food that got messed up
[00:43:00] And then one of the African guys that worked there got mad at me. He's like you can't do this
[00:43:04] I'm like fuck you. I do it all the time
[00:43:07] Please and he's like give me a fucked up whopper. Yeah, and then he told on me what to be out of my manager
[00:43:14] They were like yeah, the security said there was some issue with you yelling it
[00:43:20] Did throw it at him, but I was like fuck this place
[00:43:25] Because because they got in trouble for asking for
[00:43:29] For food they were gonna throw out anyways a Burger King. Yeah, well he wanted it for himself, dude
[00:43:34] I know he did he's feeding his family of
[00:43:39] However many yeah, I would say about four four
[00:43:51] Fuck when I was coming back from Louisville there was a fucking some kind of
[00:43:56] like metal festival and I saw Marilyn Manson in the in the airport. That's awesome. Yeah, he has he sucking his own
[00:44:04] He was rolling down like it was in a circle sucking his own dick and his handlers were just pushing him towards his gate
[00:44:11] He's just him sucking his own dick in the security line. Yeah, like no no no
[00:44:15] I said take your shoes on he's like oh, I'm sorry
[00:44:22] Fucking walks through the machine mm-hmm. Yeah, he didn't have to wait in line. Did he fucking superseded that shit celeb status, bro
[00:44:29] Yeah, but he was still in the airport. So I guess you know
[00:45:00] Manson song I don't think it is is that no it is isn't yeah, I don't know a single Marilyn Manson song. Yeah, you do
[00:45:12] The fucking sweet dreams remake. Yeah, but that's not his song. Yeah, it is
[00:45:17] No, it's that bitch with red hair. What's that one? It's like American some of them want to suck you
[00:45:22] Yeah, the urethmic some of them want to fuck your ass. That's all it's tight. That's a good song
[00:45:33] Yeah, that's when they were exploring like hot androgynous women in the 80s
[00:45:38] I'll take that and they went too far. I like that dude. I like cuz they because you're like wow
[00:45:45] I don't kind of cuz at first you're like hmm. She kind of looks like a dude
[00:45:48] I'm really not into this then clothes come out titties are out. You're like, oh nice. It's a girl after all
[00:45:54] Yeah, it's like a surprise for yourself. Yeah, you thought you were gonna have sex with a man and then it turns out nope
[00:46:06] Yeah, that's kind of my that's kind of my thing like Susan and powder
[00:46:15] Back in the back when like you're back when the only option and not be a fat piece of shit was fucking like
[00:46:21] What's his name Tony? No, not Tony Gazelle Susan powder. It's not that Richard Simmons
[00:46:29] Yeah, that was like the only you either fattest shit or you like bought those tapes
[00:46:33] That's true. That was the only options you had available to you. Oh, yeah, I would smash using powder. Yeah easy money, bro. Yeah
[00:46:41] Remember because my grandpa was fat as shit and they got him like a Susan powder
[00:46:52] I will die before I do this kind of shit
[00:47:01] Yeah, you know what dude that's so true because everyone's doing like at home like fucking and it's like yeah people were already doing that shit
[00:47:12] Fucking peloton just stole Richard Simmons whole shit dude. Here's a great tweet from Colin Korgie
[00:47:19] Let's fucking I don't know. I don't so much you said it to me. Okay. What does it say?
[00:47:24] I thought this was maybe a bigger account than it is
[00:47:29] They only have 500 followers. Oh, okay. Well, yeah, damn and now they're people gonna look him up
[00:47:34] Oh, but it just says hey entitled dudes just a reminder that women on here don't owe you anything
[00:47:38] Here's a helpful list of just a few things. They don't know you their time
[00:47:42] Gee their energy rice their emotional labor in answer an explanation a reply a follow
[00:47:55] Like what do you think is like what is this what's going on in your mind that you fucking and pull out your phone and type that in there
[00:48:02] He's just he wants that he wants the worst form of clout possible
[00:48:06] I just and you know and then he and you know he's trying to get pushed
[00:48:09] He hit send and then he did whatever dumb fantasy is happening in his head where it's like, you know, I I did it
[00:48:16] I did some people remember me as somebody that did something that said something
[00:48:20] Somebody that had to just had to say it and had to say I reached my break. Thank God. I was here
[00:48:29] Some of them want to fuck you I tell you man. I like the group chats have gotten me sucked back into Twitter
[00:48:38] It's garb. It's so bad now. Yeah, it's so much fucking worse than it was bro
[00:48:44] I was never big at Twitter and now I just log on whatever memes going on
[00:48:47] I post about how I have a little penis in the meme format
[00:48:50] Yeah, and that's basically it for me man. I just see dumb shit all day long that makes me
[00:48:56] Like just question because it's like it's not even people arguing with each other anymore
[00:49:01] They'll take anything and use it to like oh, yeah, you know
[00:49:06] Make a fake are you are you with some of that doesn't exist even exactly? Yeah, yeah, it's like who is this about?
[00:49:16] Although everyone was mad at the queer eye guys or something. I thought prospector 88 was dead for like six hours until he
[00:49:26] I was about to just shit. I was ready to just shit on so many people because I thought he killed himself
[00:49:32] Why would he have killed himself? I don't know his life sucks. Oh, I don't know
[00:49:38] You know what it's funny. It's like I didn't even think to ask that question
[00:49:43] I thought he killed himself and then I found it no at no point was I like why would he have killed himself?
[00:49:48] It's like of course he killed himself, right? It makes sense
[00:49:51] Of course he killed why wouldn't he kill himself?
[00:49:55] Everybody's like he's probably just taking a
[00:49:57] Three-hour break from the internet. How wait? How long was he not on Twitter four or five days?
[00:50:03] And the last thing he uploaded was a video of him sitting in his car listening to the office soundtrack
[00:50:07] And he's like looking around his car and then there's like a hose coming into the hell yeah
[00:50:12] That's a great bit if that guy killed himself that way so loot forever
[00:50:16] He's talented enough to do that which is why you're like
[00:50:20] Hey, I wish I thought it or what would have been awesome is to just if no one knows who he is
[00:50:25] Yeah, just that's how you log off forever. That would be awesome
[00:50:29] Uh-huh because he doesn't he doesn't have like his name attached or anything doesn't
[00:50:33] No, yeah, yeah, that's the way you go out. Yeah, do you see that thing about that guy the furry who like
[00:50:42] Hell yes, I thought this told me about the circulation off to his own hands so that he could have pause
[00:50:47] So you could have his hands removed and that rules pause and presented it in kind of this way
[00:50:52] We're like well accidents happen. Yeah. Oh, yeah an accident where you yeah
[00:50:56] Didn't he plunged his hands into the dry ice fucking hours waiting for your hands to turn purple
[00:51:04] Does he have pause now? I don't know if he has pause they like fucking cut his hands off at like, you know mid forearm
[00:51:10] Damn, but then it was like a month after you're like a week or and a half after that that people started with this like
[00:51:16] It's queer bashing to make fun of furries
[00:51:19] It's like all right. Let's bring this bring that guy out again. Let's bring the hands guy out again
[00:51:26] Let's put him front and center a furries gay
[00:51:29] Well, it's kink and then that like falls under like queer stuff. No, we fucking done what?
[00:51:36] Every kink is queer well you saw the thing in pride parade where those guys dressed up as like leather slave puppies
[00:51:42] We're like interacting with a four-year-old girl and people were like, okay
[00:51:50] Know you heart wants me to not ever be in like this is a too far right right domain
[00:51:56] But it's like you're fucking pushing it for real, you know, and then people like well
[00:52:01] There's nothing wrong with it and it's like it's like I just don't want to think about the the outfit
[00:52:06] Someone has on when they're getting fuck when they're contracting HIV on purpose
[00:52:11] Which is like even that it's like go for it, man. It's like just don't fucking like
[00:52:18] Explain it to a four-year-old girl in graphic detail. Yeah, well, I mean they probably weren't doing that
[00:52:23] I don't know man that picture is pretty bad
[00:52:26] Was it cuz it's like people are like well, how am I gonna explain this to you my kid?
[00:52:29] You know, it's like dumb conserving how am I gonna explain to your kid?
[00:52:32] It's like you don't have to yeah, what the fuck do you think you need to explain to your kid and then like a year later?
[00:52:46] So good luck explaining that to your kid is that I?
[00:52:50] Guess I don't get why you would dress up in the in your fuck outfit to go on parade
[00:52:56] Shouldn't that be just a fuck? I don't know man, and then the whole thing's like sponsored by MasterCard
[00:53:24] You've been to Kentucky my mate me. Yeah, yeah
[00:53:31] Don't know I kind of just slept there nice on the road a
[00:53:35] fucking road dog back in the day yeah I
[00:53:40] Definitely gotta get it. I had a little dalings with getting too fucked up. Well a load dog
[00:53:46] That's what they call you know this what I've heard from other comics. They call me the load dog
[00:53:51] Oh cuz I I bust so many loads no actually the guy at Holarities said that
[00:53:59] What yeah Sam cleanest said that Sam cleanest told me
[00:54:05] That you were drinking come and you're like everybody it's me the come dog and you know you had a leather puppy dog outfit no
[00:54:13] I've never drank on the load dog. Are you thinking of different stavros?
[00:54:20] There are different stavros comedian that drinks come no he had GSH
[00:54:24] Yeah, fuck dude. Mm-hmm. I'm trying to find that picture that
[00:54:32] Yeah, whatever what I don't remember that picture
[00:54:42] Maybe I agree what side of your body is your heart on the middle. Okay good
[00:54:47] Never mind then I'm not having a heart attack
[00:54:54] Probably just my muscles getting ready to like fire up like just had a heart attack. No really no
[00:55:05] But he looks less fat seems less fat than so pup Chester writes my take on kink fetish at pride events
[00:55:14] If you take your kids for a family day out at pride and they see stuff that's a bit much for their young minds to translate
[00:55:21] Then that's on you as a parent pride should not be a kid friendly place. It's not a day out that that I agree with
[00:55:26] That's a good point. Yeah, that's that's fair if you want to make it a fuck festival, which I guess it is. Yeah
[00:55:34] Can I see the picture well this is a video so this is these are people dressed up like dogs and
[00:55:41] This is not the picture I saw this just seems dumb and then here's a baby watching it
[00:55:50] It's like a literal baby these guys have pants. Yeah, yeah, that's not too bad
[00:55:55] He just got the mask on there was one I saw where like they're just I mean it's like the gimp from fucking yeah
[00:56:02] Pulp fiction with his ass just purely out. Yeah
[00:56:18] Hmm, I guess I should put my phone down. Yeah, probably
[00:56:23] Maybe we should plan our fucking trip to the pumpkin patch dude
[00:56:26] Attorney General Barr has held private meetings overseas for an intelligence official seeking their help in the justice department inquiry that Trump hosts will discredit
[00:56:35] US intelligence agencies examination of Russian interference
[00:56:43] Drag his old big goddamn thing down with him. He might did. Yeah, didn't he accuse someone of being treasonous?
[00:56:50] Yeah, he called it a lot more a traitor. No, he said he said like that's lately. He said someone should
[00:56:57] Be investigated for treason. I don't know. I mean it's like
[00:57:00] Yeah, they think people would kill if he was like go out in the streets and kill I hope I hope these investigate
[00:57:08] I hope I hope he continues to do wildly illegal shit and everything that and then fucking impeachment fails
[00:57:15] He gets a second term and continues to just act
[00:57:18] Just incredibly fucking out of line and break the law left and right in every investigation drags a bunch of fucking like Democrats
[00:57:26] With him, right, you know, I hope it yet
[00:57:30] I hope he's just a fucking cancer that every time they try to fight it. They ended up just like
[00:57:35] Killing what they would consider to be healthy cells
[00:57:40] Like you think well, I thought that's what this Epstein thing was gonna be yeah
[00:57:43] Yeah, you know, I really thought that they like people would run with the Epstein thing and then find some dirt on Trump that also implicates
[00:57:52] Unfortunately, I guess you know Epstein killed or got killed himself cell and the guards that were watching all the guilt had gotten to him
[00:57:59] Yeah, the guards are watching him weren't employees and there's no record of them and the cameras weren't working
[00:58:06] Yeah, and that's really fucking bad luck
[00:58:09] Yeah, it's really weird that that happened and there's been no inquiry into the weird temple on his island or
[00:58:15] Like where all the evidence from the case went
[00:58:20] You know, yeah, we did you got a let go and let God did yeah, you can't let you like that drag out
[00:58:31] It's just like didn't didn't some lady that accused Prince Andrew like dying a plane crash or something and it's also now
[00:58:36] There's all these the dip shit's trying to be like oh, yeah, if you care about Epstein that much
[00:58:41] It's like there's other things going on. It's like no, there's not
[00:58:44] There there really is you trying to hand wash that is like fucking like
[00:58:49] Oh, well conspiracy like you know that fucking
[00:58:55] Enthusiastes isn't a personality which it's like if that's not what people care about it. Yeah
[00:59:00] It was we were so close to having some wild shit
[00:59:03] I'm right like listen. I'm saying obvious case of fucking like corruption and cover up and like you can say there's more
[00:59:10] There's important shit that needs your attention. That's fine. Yeah, but you have to realize this is some wild-ass shit
[00:59:20] Clearly did Kevin space is just murdered somebody. Yeah, that was awesome. I mean it's just like all these people that are connected
[00:59:27] murdering people yeah murdering the one of them that got caught dead the rights
[00:59:32] Gee Lane Maxwell no just no interest in fighting. Yeah, no one cares
[00:59:37] She's submitting fake photos of herself to the New York Post. He's publishing them without question
[00:59:46] It's like yeah, I don't really give a shit that the president is like
[00:59:53] Mean that's it is funny. I mean it's very it's very funny to me it honestly is funny. Yeah
[01:00:00] That he's going he's going to other countries being like hey, can you help? Can you just find some show on Joe Biden? Yeah
[01:00:11] Video we're fucking like Chris Christie went on the news before the transcript came out and he's like you're not gonna find anything
[01:00:19] Wildly damn it. Yeah, like do me a favor and then the tape is just listen do me a
[01:00:27] Love him I know dude. I don't understand how you don't see him as sort of like a
[01:00:32] Not really an anti-cry well. Yeah, sort of an anti-Christ
[01:00:37] There's if you've been let down by Christ so much. Mm-hmm. It's like well is the anti who's worse the anti-Christ?
[01:00:44] Yes, we're all the people in the middle. I mean probably him still the anti-Christ. Yeah
[01:00:51] Still worse man. Yeah, there's still some there's still plenty of non chill things happening. Mm-hmm
[01:01:02] Damn what the fuck is this thing what's this is awesome. It's the planet Earth
[01:01:08] Fuck dude. What do you mean? What is this thing like the what would he just ask? What is this? That's insane
[01:01:16] This is that what is that lava? It's no it's lights from cities. Oh
[01:01:21] It's like a fucking mile above this I thought it was lava. No
[01:01:29] Are you sure man? Yes over there at the end. That's not lava. No, these are cities
[01:01:35] Hmm, and there's lightning storm though. That's cool
[01:01:41] What the hell is it it could not more clearly just not dude that looks like lava these are clouds
[01:01:46] I've got the clouds. I didn't think I thought that was like bright-ass lot, but I guess now I sort of well hold on
[01:01:52] I mean I get it does look like lava. I think it's lava. It's not lava
[01:01:57] That's not lights dude. Well, I don't have my glasses on, but I'm telling you that's definitely the earth
[01:02:05] It looks like how a city would spread out and be dense in the middle of the bro that shit's a la
[01:02:11] It's not lava. What the fuck was that bro at the very end the cracks and shit more cities
[01:02:21] No, it's not lava. We'll look this up later. We'll let you go. Oh fuck. It's gone. We'll never know now
[01:02:34] Our kids still playing with hot wheels. I don't think so they are. Yeah, oh you babysit. Yeah
[01:02:43] I typed in I typed in hot wheels in it, but I typed whore wheels accidentally. Oh nice, which they should make those for girls
[01:02:53] So she picks you up after just call Hot Wheels or wheels. Yeah, yeah
[01:02:58] Yeah, oh or wheels is another over service
[01:03:01] I would love it if there was a toy company just completely fucking up this gender thing
[01:03:06] You know like the GI Joe people are like we made slut
[01:03:12] She's she blows the military guys and they come back from saving the country
[01:03:21] But she has health insurance yeah, that would be I mean
[01:03:24] You would probably make a nice amount of money doing that shit. What slut Joe L. Oh for sure
[01:03:34] traditional lifestyle how about G. I R L Joe and he's he's gone to his
[01:03:44] Girl and so he's got like a metal vagina
[01:03:49] Poor choice why metal vagina sure yeah, cuz it's his wet her weapon. Yeah, what do you want them being fucking?
[01:04:00] True, they're still deployed. Mm-hmm. Yeah
[01:04:04] Yeah, come on Abby. Of course. Yeah. This is why I'm the head of the toy company
[01:04:34] Just game a bobble Joe G. I do G. I Joe G. I Joe
[01:04:39] Yeah, my good afternoon. My name is G. I Joe. There we go. My name is Aluela G. I Joe
[01:04:48] And I am I am the professor of driving a taxi here in Uganda
[01:04:54] I am the dean of the University of driving a Uber
[01:05:04] Taxi drivers or whatever they're like and like I don't know did you guys see that they have so much debt or whatever
[01:05:09] I guess like a million dot how much does oh yeah medallion and medallion costs like
[01:05:14] 900,000 I guess a lot of them are killing themselves
[01:05:17] Damn yeah, because they have like no prospects or whatever that sucks. Yeah
[01:05:22] Always tip your cabbies folks. That's right. That's all I'm gonna say about that. Mm-hmm
[01:05:28] There ain't nothing good advice not money, but yeah, you know them life pro tips on the way out
[01:05:33] Yeah, every time I get a cap. I like to say yeah, hey, what happened those bead things you guys used to sit on
[01:05:42] What happened to those things remember that you guys all used to have those guys always had that shit the fucking bead thing
[01:05:48] What happened to it? No, I'm talking hello hello
[01:05:52] Put the phone down for a second. Maybe you'd be better driving if you weren't on the phone with India
[01:06:02] Customer service maybe you learn English a little quicker. Can I get one of those bead things for my car?
[01:06:11] You got it. We get them from like a market in Marrakash or something
[01:06:16] From some kind of like Marrakash market
[01:06:23] Here we come through your village fuck everybody up steel a fucking amulear
[01:06:26] So let me ask you some if you got the option of doing this you're making a snake come out of a basket
[01:06:31] Why aren't you doing this much doing the snake thing?
[01:06:36] Who dies more cab drivers of the snake guys?
[01:06:43] Fuck you were worried about that you open one of the baskets in your house in this woman the snake in it
[01:06:52] You just looking for your slippers, but boom just a cobra basket and what if you don't have your flute handy
[01:06:58] What do you do then let me ask you something
[01:07:09] The ride it wrong white had some joke about like you get on the plane and you have to sit there next to some guy
[01:07:18] Copers you're where do they shit you next to some guy with a picnic basket full of cobras on his head
[01:07:35] Those guys wear turbos even the guys with the fucking snakes wear turban. Yeah, how does that work snake charming?
[01:07:50] This is a practice of appearing to hypnotize a snake often a cobra by playing and waving an instrument or called a pungee
[01:07:59] Take a typical performance also include you know
[01:08:02] Be cool is to see like a snake basket and the snakes are coming out of it and Michael Rapaport is trying to charm them with wraps
[01:08:09] Mmm, and he's like yo, why is the system whack? We got an orange Cheeto
[01:08:14] This making things whack you know, yeah, this makes just start biting the shit
[01:08:26] Somebody get these freaking cobras off me. I
[01:08:30] Thought I could charm them with with wraps
[01:08:35] Thought I was trying I was gonna do a fusion thing like Paul Simon
[01:08:40] Where do you get a damn pungee dude? I?
[01:08:44] Like juggling a slight and the practice most common in India though other Asian nations such as Pakistan
[01:08:50] Bangladesh Sri Lanka Thailand and Malaysia
[01:08:53] We're also home to performers as are the North African countries of Egypt Morocco and Tunisia
[01:08:59] Ancient Egypt was home to one form of snake charming all the the private
[01:09:03] It's cool. You can have a podcast or you just read Wikipedia. Yeah
[01:09:08] It's listening to the wiki podcast the wicked cast where we go through and I struggle to read and I'm not that good
[01:09:16] Reading people keep sending me the video of the English
[01:09:22] I guess there's a lot of down syndrome drag queen stuff going on though is there yeah
[01:09:26] It seems like the majority of drag queen stuff now is now down syndrome occupied good for them. It's DSO
[01:09:35] Which yeah, I mean yeah, it's fine. I don't like I understand like you know there is like people being like this is too far
[01:09:42] Why yeah, well who gives a shit if they want a dressing drag dude go crazy?
[01:09:47] Yeah, I like the idea of taking away what is already a pretty stupid competition from
[01:09:54] Normal people and giving it to people with down syndrome. I think drag you think it's stupid
[01:09:59] You can't do that with the Olympics, right? You can't just get rid of the Olympics and only have the special Olympics
[01:10:03] You still need this super special Olympics. Yes, the extra special except for the weightlifting portion
[01:10:11] But everything else they're actually not that good at that really yeah
[01:10:32] No, how good are they the best events at the special Olympics or shadow puppets
[01:10:41] The the holding small plastic objects in your mouth competition
[01:10:45] But they have to hold things like lego guys uh-huh and the rapper for a happy meal toy in their mouth wow really the one that survives
[01:10:58] Really I did not know they had that in the events. Yeah, that's a big event. That's a big that's their number one event somebody didn't say
[01:11:06] Whoopsie Daisy here messin things up everything's yeah
[01:11:17] Well winding down well now what I was saying is you couldn't you know you couldn't replace the regular Olympics today
[01:11:23] Which you know it's interesting I was thinking the other day
[01:11:25] What's that is that the regular Olympics the original Olympics back in ancient Greece were the special Olympics because they would often
[01:11:33] Use mentally disabled people to feed the lions in the coliseum
[01:11:37] They would use people that were punished by Athena with the curse of
[01:11:46] Okay, I'm not this is this is true coliseum's room no I
[01:11:51] The Olympics haven't weighed before no I saw this in one of the mummy sequels
[01:11:55] Athena who is the god of either being smarter retarded
[01:12:03] She would damn the gladiators and that's why they that's where the word comes from is because they were always smiling even though
[01:12:17] This guy's so glad he's damn he's got a terrible learn all that from the scorpion king, huh?
[01:12:22] Yeah from the scorpion king 3 Tokyo drift. I love it
[01:12:31] Yes, so check that out learn about the history of the special Olympics from the scorpion king
[01:12:37] Come see us at funny mom special gladiator. That would be a great movie. Yeah, it's like he's been at war
[01:12:45] He's been in the golic wars with Caesar and then he comes home and fucking comedies
[01:12:55] brutal ruler comadus has gone to his house and eaten all of his chocolate chip
[01:13:01] And banished him delivers his slave in the McDonald's
[01:13:09] He has to compete in drag shows throughout the Levant to make his way back to Rome
[01:13:14] Then he's just in drag in the middle of the Coliseum going oh you know that
[01:13:22] Damn about the fire up glad he did I want to watch it again
[01:13:25] Yeah, I did actually watch the mommy again last night
[01:13:28] And it's funny because it has the terrible reviews from when it came out
[01:13:32] But it came out in 1999 which is like the best year for movies. Oh, yeah, that was a good ass year for movies
[01:13:39] It's it's insane. Yeah, think about what came out that year
[01:13:41] fucking Matrix Matrix fight club American Beauty the money
[01:13:53] The list is fucking Magnolia eyes wide shut okay
[01:14:01] Election which I thought came out like 93. I was always surprised. Yeah, that came out 99
[01:14:10] But I want I was the love the damn mommy dude. How about the silence of the clams?
[01:14:27] Now listen here folks why don't you come see me do stand up comedy at Medford the flying J October 11th
[01:14:37] the October 19th Detroit October 20th and then
[01:14:42] November I'm coming to Atlanta on the 23rd Baltimore Thanksgiving weekend and then I'm coming to Houston
[01:14:48] And I'm trying to on December 13th, and I'm trying to add Austin to that
[01:14:52] So keep check on that shit. Maybe it's coming out
[01:14:55] I'm trying to add in your Orleans date and some other little random shit somewhere in there
[01:14:59] But uh come see us the funny moms again on the 14th and then every Monday after that and then come see me every Tuesday
[01:15:05] Fat mother fucking Tuesdays every Tuesday at the stand comedy club