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Ep. 181 - The Joker Laureate Of the Dirtbag Left

Cum Town | Regular | 11/14/2019

[00:00:00] It's my penis my penis
[00:00:10] It's a god
[00:00:13] Get my my my penis face
[00:00:18] You can't mark my penis face my my penis face
[00:00:23] And it's like I only suck three days only sock three days Adam was trying out being gay
[00:00:29] And then he wrote that song after us did you do that for real?
[00:00:32] I did you try to do my penis my penis faces is what like a face that I make when I'm orgasm
[00:00:38] He's a face your you're a phase. Oh, okay
[00:00:41] All right, no, it makes sense. Come on man. Those words sound so much. My penis face. Yeah, I
[00:00:48] Was gay I was gay for like a second. I saw three guys
[00:00:54] There penis it's tasted weird. I wish I did that
[00:00:58] We still got time. I feel like it's like you understand life better if you're gay for like a month. Yeah
[00:01:04] Maybe I'll do it now. Why don't you do a Pokemon sword? Yes, and yes, okay?
[00:01:10] Of course. What I haven't played this Pikachu. I've played either of them since I was literally nine
[00:01:17] Yeah, I've never played Pokemon. We're not talking about you or what you've done
[00:01:29] Bring up the cards
[00:01:32] Because they bring up a topic and he goes oh, I've never done that. Oh, I guess we're done discussing it that
[00:01:39] We can talk about saying that we were done discussing it. I just contributed that I've never played. I can't believe not today Satan
[00:01:48] I don't feel good
[00:01:51] I'm sorry, dude. What's wrong? I'm sick. I told you I told you this your ass hurt
[00:01:57] Put talk about Pokemon continue. I wasn't trying to cut you off. No, you already did it
[00:02:01] No, shut up continue your Pokemon talk even want to talk about let's talk about Pokemon, okay
[00:02:06] Soar to shield this out cool as long as Pikachu has a sword in the field
[00:02:11] Mm-hmm if it's Pokemon, but they also have swords. Hell yeah. Yeah, I'm on Pokemon gun and yes
[00:02:19] Guns and roses
[00:02:22] I would love that you're getting head from strippers
[00:02:28] I would honestly play like every band every game if it was also Pokemon garage band Pokemon
[00:02:34] Yeah, but it's the same exact game, but you just see little Pikachu's with guitars
[00:02:38] I mean, I thought we should that would be really I got home and I literally did not open it and I probably won
[00:02:44] What is it like a level based game like Mario World?
[00:02:48] Mario World like Super Mario World is what like that Luigi's Mansion?
[00:02:53] There's a like you play party games. What is no what it is. I've never played it dude
[00:02:58] You know why you missed her. I haven't played video games. Yeah, I told you what I play. I'm gonna play video games
[00:03:05] I play Donkey Kong country Tony ox pro skater today. Don't go is not a sports game. That is sports
[00:03:12] Try to be neo-court. I'm too cool to play. But by the way everyone if you didn't know I'm too cool to play video games
[00:03:17] They're a claim you were never gay. Yeah, you're over here trying to prove you're not gay and that you don't play video game
[00:03:22] I feel like if I was five years younger, I would have sucked a dick in college
[00:03:26] I feel like the cutoff was no gay was still bad when I was in college
[00:03:31] Yeah, if you were around right now, you would absolutely be gay like for the for the class. Oh if I was Gen Z. Yeah, a hundred percent
[00:03:39] You'd be such a kind of work. Just being gay. Oh, I'm so much worse. Yeah
[00:03:44] Being gay to be cool is the gayest thing of my life
[00:03:48] Being gay to get pussy dude. I would be gay to get pussy in high school over there
[00:03:53] Like you just have to be gay for like three months and you'll get that's a premise movie
[00:03:57] Is it yeah, it's a Matthew three to tango
[00:04:00] Wait, he's gay for the cloud never push out so like
[00:04:06] Dylan McDermott, I guess he's going out of town and his fucking girlfriend is
[00:04:11] I forget his girlfriend is but he's friends with Matthew Perry and
[00:04:15] He's like hey, can you do me a favor?
[00:04:17] Can you look after my girlfriend while I'm like gone or something and then he's you know
[00:04:22] He's like yeah, oh, yeah, no problem man. Yeah, of course totally why cuz he thinks he's gay
[00:04:27] He thinks he's gay. Yeah, and then he's like I'm not they think I'm gay
[00:04:32] Whatever and then he's like sleepovers with women and then he's like I'm gonna pretend to be gay to fuck these girls
[00:04:39] That's a good does he get pussy at the end? I think so. Yeah, he like like you know cuz like he's taking like baths with the guys
[00:04:46] Girlfriend and like which by the way like cleaning her pussy like a cat boy. That is like a gay cat
[00:04:53] And she's like it's that god you're not straight and you're my my like
[00:04:59] Husbands gay co-worker who can live for some reason just
[00:05:03] Could have any other closer friends to ask to do this right exactly who but also why would I need to do this?
[00:05:10] My pussy with his cock
[00:05:12] You won't really clean your pussy out his come is a is gay
[00:05:16] It's if I get all the way in the up in those guts and blow a fat load thinking about a man's ass of course
[00:05:22] Of course, I'll be holding my nose like this holding my nose
[00:05:26] He stinks I'm he's like he's got a magazine called gay porn magazine while he's fucking her right
[00:05:32] So she sees the cover but inside is straight is straight
[00:05:35] So true, so she's yeah, he's got a smaller pornography inside the game
[00:05:44] I don't understand the premise of someone asking someone else to watch their girl exactly
[00:05:49] I mean, I'm probably completely mispronounce. Yeah, there's probably some actual, you know still contrived but less stupid than that reason
[00:05:57] All right through the tango is in 1999
[00:06:00] Australian American romantic comedy
[00:06:02] directed by Damon Santos the final
[00:06:08] That's three different cultures very gay names. Yeah, my name is
[00:06:14] Damon Santos the final
[00:06:18] Yeah, my dad was black and my mom was Italian and my dad was Spanish I
[00:06:25] Got two dad that's with three
[00:06:27] Grown up is you know my Spanish dad they thought he was gay because you know
[00:06:33] It's also dancing
[00:06:37] My mom's Italian ass
[00:06:43] Hell yeah, you know, I love my mom's mm-hmm. I want a kisser. I want a kiss because I'm still Italian
[00:06:50] A third of me wants to fuck me. They have Campbell and Dylan McDermott
[00:06:53] No, he directed bring it on too. Okay
[00:06:59] Santos Stefano was performing stand-up comedy in his hometown of Boston during his teens
[00:07:04] Well attending NYU film school. He began working professionally as a director creating award-winning
[00:07:10] So much of this podcast now is just reading
[00:07:14] The point is we can get it to fully just be Wikipedia if we get a text to speech
[00:07:20] That's all Dan Carlin's hardcore history is I've never listened to it, but I imagine he's a buddy talks like this
[00:07:25] No, he reads a lot of documents. I have a document about having gay sex
[00:07:31] I listen like to the Romans do it
[00:07:35] I'm never having gay sex
[00:07:38] Start of the world war one. I listen to the one about the Earth's Roman Empire
[00:07:43] It was like an eight-hour podcast and I listened to the whole thing during one Adam listen to the one about the blowman Empire
[00:07:49] Really? Yeah
[00:07:51] It's when they were a game for the club. It's a cool
[00:07:53] Empire that I want to be a part of this is an empire that's I
[00:07:56] I bet you people were fucking kids for the and I bet you people right now elites fuck kids for the cloud
[00:08:01] There's some of them. They didn't want to fuck children. Maybe Bill Gates
[00:08:05] Yeah, it's like when you have to rape a woman to get into a game bill Gates definitely fucked a kid
[00:08:09] Like every like all those guys on that plane fucked kids
[00:08:12] But like one of them probably didn't want to but he had to or else Bill Clinton would have been like what are you getting?
[00:08:18] You're one of his boys the thing y'all this motherfuckers gay y'all
[00:08:23] He's not even fucking children
[00:08:28] Yeah, Bill Gates is gay
[00:08:34] Jeff come over here looking Bill Gates. He can't even get hard looking at this child's pussy dad. It's me
[00:08:41] I really want to go to a little saint James Island. I
[00:08:44] Want to take my roller backpack on it Jeffrey Epstein play
[00:08:53] Everybody but it's not fucking kids is gay
[00:08:58] Love this I love the way it feels to get pussy from a child
[00:09:03] Child getting the shots pussy
[00:09:12] Yeah, dude
[00:09:14] Three two tango. Yeah, so what was the reason Matthew Broderick had to look at earth
[00:09:19] So it's Matthew Perry and I'm Matthew Broderick, but it would have been Matthew Broderick if this was happening in the 80s. Yeah
[00:09:25] To be clear. Oh, yeah, you know what I rewatch this within the last six years and now it's all coming back to me
[00:09:37] And what's his name are architects
[00:09:40] Because they're partners
[00:09:43] Partners and don't determine it's the high dollar client whose office is this tacky like Buddhist temple like bullshit
[00:09:51] Mm-hmm. That's a risk. I move and he's like he's like he's like, you know
[00:09:55] He's like Oscar's gay. I need you to keep an eye on my girlfriend while I go out of town
[00:09:59] It's like I want a gay guy to keep you know, but why does he need someone to keep that's a normal thing
[00:10:05] You got to get a gay guy to watch your girlfriend
[00:10:08] Yeah
[00:10:09] It'd be funny if his girlfriend was a 12 year old
[00:10:13] That would make more sense you fuck
[00:10:16] You fuck grown men, right?
[00:10:18] No boys or girls I
[00:10:23] Need I need you to watch my job. I need you to watch my girlfriend
[00:10:29] I want to make sure you don't fuck my girlfriend who's a child fucking my ass
[00:10:34] You get fucked my girlfriend, but not my ass you can
[00:10:38] Fuck on your ass if I could suck a dick
[00:10:51] What happens the end dude tell everybody for three to tango I don't know he falls in love with the bitch and then
[00:10:58] I don't know they start dating and then there's like
[00:11:01] Someone someone else you don't think is gay turns out to be gay came out. I'm so Matthew Perry has to get fucked
[00:11:07] He'd to prove he's gay. Yes, the sucker guys
[00:11:09] She tries to set him up with like her gay friend who is like falls in love with him
[00:11:16] That's funny. It would be sucks. I'm much better one with Matthew Perry is fools Russian. Yeah
[00:11:24] That was on HBO
[00:11:26] Russian video game for both Sega Saturn and I did
[00:11:30] It's true. He had to play it on both. It was an RPG. It was like dad. It's the graphics are different. I need it for both systems
[00:11:38] Well, I'm gonna have to go have gay sex to earn enough money to buy it whoopsie looks like
[00:11:45] Someone has to go have this
[00:11:50] Geez I don't like doing it
[00:11:52] You go in Adam's room it's every system ever a Japanese imports a full like arcade
[00:12:02] Anything for my boy
[00:12:11] My dad dude we had a pac-man machine and every my face the first time a full machine
[00:12:16] My dad like the tabletop one or no the full like arcade one cuz my I don't know my dad like
[00:12:23] Read did some bar and they just gave it to him and we were it was the first time like his children were like
[00:12:28] Oh my god. This rules is the best things that happened. I'm I dad just gave it to one of his friends
[00:12:33] Wait a minute. Wait a minute your dad redid some bar and as payment they gave him a
[00:12:37] I think that was part of the payment. My dad is a horrible business. I know I was about to say it's like oh
[00:12:42] Yeah, no wonder your poor. Yeah
[00:12:44] No, he would get fleeced constantly. Yeah one time. He finished a whole job. He finished like these windows and
[00:12:51] It was like some kind of special weatherproofing wood that was like thinner than it usually looks and the guy was like ah
[00:12:59] I
[00:13:00] Don't I don't like how it looks. Can you just do it all over again with different wood and my dad should have been like no
[00:13:06] This is what we made me twice. Yeah, but he just redid it and he just complained. Oh my god
[00:13:12] Yeah, I remember I remember that was because I was working with him that summer and I was like oh wait
[00:13:15] My dad's a fucking coward. Yeah, like I was like that was like 13
[00:13:19] I was like and and by the way the guy who made him redo was just some fucking pussy
[00:13:25] Who like Greek fucking diner guy who I would it feels up to me. I would slap them around
[00:13:31] Yeah, you gotta have someone lean on them. Mm-hmm. Give him a talking to I
[00:13:35] Just watch this movie. There's Hitchcock movie called Marnie. Yeah, we haven't seen it. I would love a pack man machine
[00:13:42] Wait listen, but he's he's an amateur zoologist. Yeah, I've been seeing it
[00:13:47] And he yeah, I've been seen that movie
[00:13:52] I haven't seen Pokemon honestly if we can go back to me. It's so sensitive bro
[00:13:58] If I were if I I'm sick for starters second of all I would like to be gay
[00:14:03] I want to hear what madam has say about Marnie, please
[00:14:07] Adam off Nick. Thank you, even though he is gay, but I love it. No, I wish I was good
[00:14:15] So that I have yeah that I aspire to be
[00:14:20] What happens in Marnie so he's like he's not the dog right no Sean Connery's a businessman
[00:14:27] Oh Sean Con is he bald no, he's got hair. It's like James Bond air. It's in the 60s. I love well
[00:14:33] He was bald during ball damn man. That was a way. Yeah, sick though. He's pulling the atom move to pay
[00:14:40] You dare say that on on the air
[00:14:47] I was the only one that knew I didn't even know
[00:14:50] I'm not a beautiful head of hair that would make me so you get a Ralph Cipherado. I'm really thinking about it
[00:14:56] Yeah, dude, honestly if I get it when I get it to fucking horse tone when I get it to them
[00:15:02] I'm just also gonna get a fucking toupee
[00:15:06] Forget this get there get the Ralphie get the super red hair
[00:15:11] Just a red bowl cut
[00:15:15] That was the best part of that when this fucking
[00:15:17] Hair probably had a great holy shit. Yeah, and he's like what you knew. Yeah, like yeah, of course
[00:15:25] Yeah, of course I knew I thought the best part was when Janice was fucking him in the ass with the gun that was wait
[00:15:32] And she fucked him in the ass of the shoulder and she's holding and she's holding a gun to that's right. Yeah, that's right
[00:15:38] No, yeah, she wasn't fucking with it. I'm gonna put you out on the street
[00:15:42] My little boy my little boy
[00:15:50] Put a fucking dildo in my ass
[00:15:55] So what happens in fucking Marley and me
[00:15:59] So he's like a businessman and then like this chick starts working for him and he like knows she like runs a
[00:16:05] A bunch of scams like stealing from different businesses and change your hair color and her name, you know, so no one can catch it
[00:16:13] Yeah, anyway, so he like
[00:16:15] She steals from his safe and then he entraps her and makes her get married to him
[00:16:20] And he uses his skills as zoology to tame a bitch
[00:16:27] Like an animal's like he's like reading books like called she's like zoology that does that mean you
[00:16:34] You understand human nature as well. He's like well one could share that hard to
[00:16:39] He's reading books about like the the female criminal mind
[00:16:45] That's fucking awesome dude, so it's actually a really good movie, but it's incredible that
[00:16:52] Yeah, that women were still considered animals in
[00:16:56] 1965 or whatever. Yeah, Sean Connery talks about how you should be able to slap a woman you've seen that of course classic
[00:17:02] Yeah, what a legend
[00:17:07] Now yeah, the last time we spoke you said that you raped the child with Bill Clinton yes, yes
[00:17:12] And I said I thought to be cool. I should I did it to be cool having sex with children is something that bill off still
[00:17:19] I wasn't gay like take it back your hearting Hillary. You're not allowed to say that ever
[00:17:27] You see was a little bit Warren's and
[00:17:29] I
[00:17:31] Somebody asked her about like getting rid of ice and she's like we absolutely need I cannot believe how could it like
[00:17:38] It's so early for that bitch to go that she's mad butted you just gay ass and I mean that and you know
[00:17:45] Yes, well you don't know if his ass is gay. It might be as dick in his mouth probably at least
[00:17:51] Anyway, he's I don't think she's fake gay, bro. I don't think he's real. Oh, I think like they've never seen
[00:17:57] more of like clearly a CIA employees
[00:18:02] I want to see him in a chest and fuck nothing
[00:18:05] He's fucking American psycho dude. He truly is he went to the troops for the clout dude. Yeah everything
[00:18:11] He's definitely a guy. He's absolutely for the cloud. That's a perfect example. That's Adam's hero
[00:18:19] But basically that bitch like mad that Buddha just just now sucking off every billionaire for money and she's like oh
[00:18:24] I want to be I want to be a centrist also. Well, she was like the answer if billionaires should exist
[00:18:30] She's like if you work hard. You should be able to spend the money on toys
[00:18:37] When I when I grew up in the teepee we only had a
[00:18:42] boomerang we had a boomerang and a peace pipe and everyone's combined say there goes there goes low cheek
[00:18:49] Bro cheekbone Liz
[00:18:51] She's got them dick sucking cheekbones
[00:18:56] Like Liz what are you certainly
[00:18:59] Please wait time for some mace. He's just cut on a whole ear of corn. They said they used to call me DSCB
[00:19:10] And I'd suck those dick. Yeah, they said what makes the red man red? I'll tell you what getting your fucking totem poles
[00:19:17] Slob
[00:19:19] Slob by every color of the wind
[00:19:27] DCCB the question was about cap and trade
[00:19:33] We were talking about cap and trade
[00:19:39] Yep, that was a thing I remember cap and trade being in the news and I'm like I don't know what that means every time I look
[00:19:45] I leverage them to look it up. I'm like it's something to do with oil. I have no idea
[00:19:48] And it was like such a big issue cap what if hmm?
[00:19:53] What if it's about capping
[00:19:55] What do you say on capping all I know is no cap like the way black people say that's what I mean?
[00:20:01] Yeah, I'm not I'm again. The only one that doesn't cap is Bernie for sure
[00:20:06] Buttigieg is all cap
[00:20:08] Yeah, I don't know it's has to do with oil. I thought it was like I thought it was like I thought it was like
[00:20:14] I thought it was like a nations or something with energy policy. I have no idea though
[00:20:18] Yeah, energy. I mean it's like a way to like use some regulation to use less
[00:20:25] Hmm something the Chinese do it or something
[00:20:28] Stop the Chinese. I mean that's one of those things like net neutrality where it's like I understand what net neutrality means
[00:20:35] I don't know I still don't know whether
[00:20:37] being for net neutrality means yes, I think it's good that that fucking internet
[00:20:46] I think so
[00:20:47] I was gonna throw out of your shit or if you're against net neutrality
[00:20:49] I think if you're against because if something's neutral
[00:20:53] Yeah, you can't he's not being throttled. I think you think it should be a public service. So you think it's so your pro like telephoto
[00:21:01] Well, that's different. That's not that neutrality. Yeah, that's nothing to do with that
[00:21:04] No, I think it's like the internet shouldn't be should be like a public good. That's no communication
[00:21:10] It's not that neutrality. Isn't it no one argument? I thought it's classifying the the internet as like a public utility a public utility
[00:21:17] No, I think you're you're saying that we should nationalize internet service. I thought that's what it was no
[00:21:23] No, it's just that Comcast can't be like actually yeah
[00:21:26] It's about not letting internet providers discriminate like it's like data because they're mad that people stream everything now
[00:21:33] So they they're using more internet so like fuck that if you're streaming
[00:21:36] Comcast will advertise. It's like $80 a month for 400 megabits per second
[00:21:41] Right, but then when they don't tell you is they're like and we'll throttle it so Netflix doesn't work
[00:21:45] Yeah, you know, it's like yeah, go ahead use that 400 megabits per second to connect to an FTP and like download like
[00:21:53] NBC will work really well
[00:21:55] Yeah, right exactly to yeah
[00:21:57] We're like making making people pay more making the providers pay more for like, you know faster service on their networks and shit
[00:22:04] Which I guess it's kind of like it's
[00:22:07] Close to making it like whatever. Hmm a utility would not really
[00:22:12] I'm sure people for net neutrality also want it to be a public. Yeah, but it'd be like you know
[00:22:18] It was like a utility like water or whatever it'd be like
[00:22:21] You know silly the plumbing in your house can deliver all sorts of liquids
[00:22:24] And it's like you really want water and you can only get a drip of water a day
[00:22:28] But you can get a shit ton of Sierra mist because like yeah
[00:22:33] Yeah, yeah Comcast or whatever sounds pretty good, and it's like well this I don't want that. What about you do?
[00:22:39] Yeah, that'll be awesome
[00:22:41] If that's what it's like
[00:22:44] What there's such a good drink, dude
[00:22:50] You got you brother
[00:22:52] You got to get a little rum, huh? There he is
[00:22:56] You know what I do want to drink some fucking cider apple cider with rum in it
[00:23:00] Is that the season right now? No, we're going in eggnog season fuck eggnog, dude
[00:23:05] You don't like it fuck that creamy bullshit. I got something nice
[00:23:09] I got some creamy coming from my eggs right here for you pal if you like eggnog come
[00:23:15] Could be
[00:23:16] You should drink stops come just to see what happens for the cloud
[00:23:20] It would happen something cool could happen
[00:23:26] Just check it out man. You never know what might pop up if you
[00:23:31] Pretty cool. It might be something I don't know
[00:23:34] I'm getting into being a cloud shark cloud shark. Yeah a trend chasing home
[00:23:40] That's pretty cool. That's a cool guy to be yeah a Brooklyn trend chasing
[00:23:50] Yeah, my name's Christopher
[00:23:54] Dangle earrings and round wire friend the dang. Yeah, the dangles are really out there now
[00:23:59] Mm-hmm that little beanie that you full-up and very bond style Caprice classic tattooed over his eyebrows
[00:24:06] That's cool. Yeah, yeah, of course you think that Adam just if you if you're about the cloud enough to get a nice on
[00:24:12] ever one eyebrow and centro
[00:24:15] And then a license plate right across the middle of his face
[00:24:19] Those guys don't know enough about cars to but that's part of it. That's why it's funny to them
[00:24:25] They know there's nothing sacred to those
[00:24:27] Fucking piece with fucking they're getting more
[00:24:36] How dare they well time to play Pokemon sword and
[00:24:45] Those people that know how to go outside and have conversations talk to each other
[00:24:49] Yeah, they know how to be in my apartment organizing my tools until I die
[00:24:54] I'm gonna teach Snorlax how to fucking shoot a bow and arrow
[00:24:58] Yeah, these people respect each other, but look how much respect I get from the gym leaders
[00:25:03] Mm-hmm in this I'm an imagine that you have I can't wait to be respected as
[00:25:09] Commander Shepard as a replay mass effect
[00:25:13] Apparently ash I guess the Pokemon TV show is still going. Yeah, and ash just won for the first time
[00:25:20] Yeah ash finally box at age 30 gets pussy. Yeah
[00:25:24] Do do do do do do do do do do oh it's a little Adam did you identify with Misty?
[00:25:30] She was a guy because it's the girl on the show
[00:25:36] The show did you identify with
[00:25:43] I
[00:25:46] Always thought there'd be a chance that they'd animate her. I know exactly what you know
[00:25:50] I mean, it's a cartoon, but I'm like damn maybe the shorts. Maybe they shot it in a way where they didn't realize her pussy was on camera
[00:25:58] Do I thought full well that it's animation. I didn't want to see pussy, but I did think that about titties legitimately
[00:26:04] I was like you never know you never know what's gonna happen
[00:26:06] Maybe they accidentally drew Marj's pussy in that episode. They're running around naked
[00:26:11] The wardrobe I'm gonna definitely
[00:26:14] Pause the tape it when I know the episode comes on and then like very slowly with the VCR
[00:26:20] Go through like maybe we'll get a peek peek of her blue of more and I will masturbate to like a shaking image
[00:26:28] Of what I think is a line
[00:26:33] She was hot as shit dude
[00:26:36] Come on naked. She let the hair down
[00:26:39] Mm-hmm. She had a fucking body on her. Do you all try to jack off the Simpsons porn?
[00:26:45] Yeah, we should try
[00:26:48] Let's do it one two no different room three atoms doing
[00:26:53] And I'm looking at his phone and it's a picture of Mo putting a bottle of beer in his ass
[00:26:58] No, it is penis is hard and Adams drawing himself sucking off my drawing is
[00:27:17] I'm sitting in a computer chair with his pants around his ankles drawing
[00:27:20] Like Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob. I can't wait to be done drawing so I can
[00:27:29] Taking lessons for like six months
[00:27:33] Yeah, that'll be awesome. I'm gonna start doing a nude model classes and sweatpants pop a couple of blue shoes
[00:27:39] We're in you're like, no, I just love drawing. I'm gonna love the craft. I love I'll get excited about painting
[00:27:46] last time
[00:27:48] I fucking bitch
[00:27:51] Yeah, but you didn't even you brought you brought a composition notebook and a big
[00:27:57] Yeah, this is how I draw okay, you guys are being fucked up, dude
[00:28:01] Yeah, I paid the fee like everybody else actually know you didn't you still owe us for the last four classes
[00:28:07] I'm requesting student aid you tried to you tried to bring in a
[00:28:11] A Pac-Man machine with with chain marks around the center
[00:28:20] Fuck do we have any ends
[00:28:22] Or any
[00:28:24] Conversations that we'd like to have more time is it about some good about halfway through
[00:28:30] Yeah, I guess there's a conversation we can have yeah in a couple of minutes
[00:28:35] Okay, I love
[00:28:38] I love having conversation
[00:28:56] Rock and roll music hit the scene in
[00:28:58] 1957 in the world would never be the same that's right
[00:29:09] Leaving again making a cup of tea Adam
[00:29:13] Damn you got that dry throat
[00:29:16] If I get sick, I'm gonna be mad. Yeah, I'm gonna be mad especially considering you're going through you're like
[00:29:20] Can I touch your cattle and can I touch this and that you're in here?
[00:29:25] Do you got to touch everything didn't you getting fucking germs and
[00:29:32] Dude you better not give me germs dude if I get
[00:29:38] Get fucking
[00:29:45] For but doing good riffs I'm gonna come here
[00:29:48] I think it's more I haven't had six cuz I am gay. Let's get some good ones going out. I'm funny
[00:29:54] I would love to have a comedy podcast. You have a huge podcast
[00:29:58] You know something that like comics come out like newer comics come on and they're like oh this will make like have a Rogan or something
[00:30:05] You bring like a guy that's been doing comedy like three years is real excited. You start the show and you're like, okay
[00:30:10] Say something funny
[00:30:13] Yeah, they're nervous to just open to fit into the flow. Yeah, you like can you all right
[00:30:17] Say okay, we've got our guest here his name is you looking at fun Jim Jim
[00:30:23] People say it's funny. So go ahead Jim. Oh, yeah, I'd say it
[00:30:29] Go oh
[00:30:30] Am I playing Jim and then they say the funniest thing in the world and it's like crushing me that room and you're like
[00:30:34] Oh, this is right. We've seen the tape is fucked up. We're getting out of here. I'm starting
[00:30:39] Just to get that yeah
[00:30:43] Doing your job
[00:30:45] Loves them. Yeah, no, no, no
[00:30:51] Yeah, man, I can see you just saying boop boop boop. We're in the same room
[00:30:59] Machines don't make that noise
[00:31:06] That'll be awesome dude, let's keep bringing you comics on this show until we can finally stop doing it
[00:31:10] Yeah, we find the way it's like a scalloper. It would be like a scalloper
[00:31:14] I would love they got to pull the riff about fucking your dad out of our ashes. Yeah, and then they can have the show right?
[00:31:20] I would I would love to
[00:31:24] Wear underwear. Yeah, dude. Me too. I would love to
[00:31:27] What would you love to do?
[00:31:30] I'd love to
[00:31:31] Is your reason you're just head to toe in green today? It's kind of like I'm wearing the sweat the kind of
[00:31:38] The athletic sweat pants that I own and the hoodie that's clean right it is that's a dirty hoodie
[00:31:45] It's pretty dirty, but the other hoodie had boogers all over it. This one has some I was really sick in the other one yesterday
[00:31:53] I'm on a two hoodie rotation. I know I gotta add a third. I need some more hoodies too
[00:31:57] And but underwear more than hoodie underwear for sure actually they do I think they do have hoodies or hoodie
[00:32:03] Yeah, we're talking about Mac weld Mac weld. That's right. Just joining us
[00:32:07] We're talking about somebody that starts in the middle
[00:32:11] Let's see what they're into in the middle of the podcast
[00:32:14] Hi folks if you're just joining us on the 700 Club. Mm-hmm. We're talking about Mac weld and underwear
[00:32:20] I pat Robertson
[00:32:22] Despite being a hundred and eighty five years old have never lost my ability to poop and pee in the fucking toilet
[00:32:29] Mm-hmm because I've prayed to God to keep my cock and make strong bring me underwear that holds my penis
[00:32:36] In a way where it doesn't get loose
[00:32:42] Is having to use your your sloppy dick gets old loose in old age I hate it as
[00:32:48] You get older the penis hole expands so true and eventually it becomes like a
[00:32:54] Tunnel to your bladder and you'll just dump his leak piss
[00:32:58] You're just and Mac weld underwear prevents them stops that from happening Mac Mac well
[00:33:03] The basically the guys of Mac weld and they got tired of their loose penis. They're just dripping piss leaking all the time
[00:33:10] If you're like me you think oh well, I'll talk it into my ass
[00:33:15] Up and it creates a reverse siphon
[00:33:17] And perpetual motion that's right when that but that when that happens fishing and sometimes you suck too much shit out of your own
[00:33:23] Ass suck it and it goes into your balls. It goes into your balls and Mac well none of us design so you don't get shit inside your balls
[00:33:34] Tight enough it keeps you being this whole type Mac will never may not keep your penis
[00:33:40] You may still get shit inside of your balls
[00:33:42] Back well guarantees you know shit into your own balls. Yeah, but yeah, so if that's the kind of shit
[00:33:58] You're worried about get Mac welded underwear get Mac welded they come in nice. I got a nice hunter green pair
[00:34:03] Well, that was my sweats. Yeah, well, that's why I thought about it when you because you look like a big pair of fucking underwear
[00:34:10] Mm-hmm beautiful Mac will go for you look like a flash. Yeah, and are you you want to get into camo?
[00:34:17] That would be sick. I can take you camo shopping. I know a guy. I want to get one of those bush things
[00:34:21] I got a guy mm-hmm if you want I got my own Mac weld and the camouflage. Yep
[00:34:26] He's like a guy that sells it out of a garage Mac Walden also offers camo underwear for any of our sneakier friends
[00:34:33] Do they they like that they'd like to be on the prowl when it comes to girls?
[00:34:37] Mm-hmm. What about?
[00:34:39] That is having consensual sex with them but in a to be clear
[00:34:45] But tactically, but it's still
[00:34:49] Stoppable force they don't know
[00:34:52] Well, they but they are consenting in whatever the situation is only
[00:34:58] Stop quoting you
[00:35:00] Rape you must use for sleep do or do not there is no try
[00:35:16] Anyway, um
[00:35:17] They come and then the good thing is if you have gotten consensual pussy and you're worried that maybe you haven't showering your dicks things
[00:35:26] Mac Walden has anti
[00:35:28] Crobial silver that makes your cock smell like roses. I would just buy it for the
[00:35:35] Coin value. Yeah, that's true
[00:35:37] You the other thing is as the markets fluctuate you might just want to get that silver line anyway
[00:35:42] You and you invest in silver when gold goes down
[00:35:45] Mm-hmm, and then silver goes up and then when silver goes down
[00:35:49] Bronze of course of course. We all know that that is how the stock market works
[00:35:54] So what else what else is going on if you if you get one and you don't yeah
[00:36:01] Listen, you don't like it. You have a fucking small cock or some shit and because that's the thing
[00:36:06] It's for guys with nice meaty cocks. It's also for don't let girls do don't let our
[00:36:12] Small-dicked fans well cuz they have girls underwear too. So you get that oh, yeah, you can wear women's underwear
[00:36:17] But it's fits better for you because you're gay
[00:36:19] You got him
[00:36:22] Got it got him
[00:36:25] Yeah, they actually started developing underwear first small dick guys and they realized oh, this is just women's underwear
[00:36:30] So now they sell that too. They sell all kinds of underwear for all different bodies because at the end of the day
[00:36:37] What they are is body positive. Mm-hmm
[00:36:41] That's so true
[00:36:43] There it's a body positive type of
[00:36:45] The
[00:36:47] Out situation atmosphere yeah over there
[00:36:51] It's the kind of place where you go to the bathroom. Oh, yeah
[00:36:55] You can really shit and piss in there you guys got to talk for a second while I find so yeah
[00:36:59] I love to wear the underwear and just get pussy. What do you like to do?
[00:37:03] Oh, you like to get I like to get pussy and I pull my cock through the hole or just pull them down. I
[00:37:08] like to
[00:37:10] Go to the grocery store. Yeah, I like to go to the buttega. No, no, I like to go to the gym in the underwear sure
[00:37:19] They hope my lifts they help absolutely that's the thing that people don't tell you is that you lift more when Adam gets in the
[00:37:26] Jim and he's benching 85 pounds
[00:37:28] One man one max
[00:37:34] Bar shaking his olive oil noodle arms waving back and forth
[00:37:39] People are like that's the gay sky. I've ever seen they're like wait a minute. Let's look at his waistband
[00:37:44] Are those a Mac world none of where yeah Wow that guy probably fucks way more than I do yep
[00:37:50] And then it's really came in is that because of the underwear and he's like no
[00:37:54] It's because I'm on my friend's podcast because I'm the third my kind of come podcast
[00:38:00] but
[00:38:06] Yeah, exactly so that's why the podcast is successful because
[00:38:11] I'll be like oh my god. You listen to content. Yeah, I wasn't going to fuck you until I found out
[00:38:16] I'm like actually in sense of humor. Actually. I'm the founder of come town and most popular and they're like cool
[00:38:24] And they're like here's our pussy's and they spray our pussy's rip them open they put both fists in there
[00:38:30] And then they do
[00:38:32] Sounds like a fucking like the when you flush the toilet on an airplane
[00:38:36] Just a hungry
[00:38:43] Cabbarness, right it just let it whip the Mac weldens right off your pants off
[00:38:50] Yeah, so that's the kind of pussy you want to get mm-hmm go to where yeah, oh shit what nothing
[00:38:57] Oh, you have to leave no we got that New York Times update just on the fun. You probably got it
[00:39:02] No, I'm sorry. I don't have we're in the middle of something Adam. Well, we could talk about after we end our discussion
[00:39:08] I'm like waiting and I don't have any notification
[00:39:12] Trump's not the president anymore
[00:39:14] What do you mean Trump's I think he quit dude? Yeah, I mean that would be crazy if that was
[00:39:23] Some guys said some shit all right, man. What can we finish the yeah, let's continue. Let's continue. Sorry
[00:39:28] So if you want that kind of pussy. That's like an airplane bathroom. Oh, I would love it
[00:39:32] There frustration. Here's this is from the fellows themselves their frustration was real
[00:39:38] And their urika moment happened in a department store aisle full of brands that dominated our top drawer
[00:39:45] Limited to
[00:39:49] The difficulty of going and finding adult men's underwear at Macy's and you're walking home
[00:39:54] They're you know, this is like this is Thomas a tank engine on
[00:39:59] What the hell is it what is it for me? I wish I could just do this online with the hell's Macy's problem
[00:40:07] We realized consistent fit and quality came in the game brew let's so we decided to take matters now in hand
[00:40:13] Start from scratch in your own fabric design process meticulous
[00:40:18] About the fit world-class customer experience world class, you know, it's like riding on a fucking Zeppelin
[00:40:27] Mm-hmm fucking Hindenburg you're there you got the nicest on the world all right
[00:40:32] You're even off a silver platter surrounded by swaths back when all the world's best boxers were white guys
[00:40:39] You know maybe maybe one Italian
[00:40:42] Yeah, and you're wearing people like what is that underwear and you said it's Mac Walden and they're like what a time to be alive
[00:40:51] 1938
[00:40:55] Greatest German
[00:40:58] Oh, they were killing it 38. Yeah
[00:41:01] They were having fun. I really think it was the Hindenburg was what lost World War two for them
[00:41:06] Yeah, that's so embarrassing that was the most fucked up thing they did that was really damaging to the club is that hard for you to watch
[00:41:21] See one of my own go down such a fiery fashion
[00:41:25] Personally
[00:41:32] See slowly trying to park
[00:41:34] It's a rapping that yeah
[00:41:37] Mac Walden is better than whatever you're wearing right now
[00:41:39] Mac Walden's a premium men's essential brand of believes in smart design and premium
[00:41:44] Fabics. Oh, yeah, they engineered it themselves the fact. Uh-huh. I wouldn't even know where to begin me neither
[00:41:50] I'm the first bottom. I know where you get fabric. It's I guess it's a sheep. You go to mood from that show
[00:41:57] Designer with Tim Gunn
[00:41:59] You go to mood fabrics, but anyway
[00:42:02] Fashion runway
[00:42:04] Runway project from my
[00:42:06] Smash and run way
[00:42:09] That's what I'm trying to watch so if you want to get these fucking on
[00:42:14] They smart design premium fabrics
[00:42:16] Underwear socks shirts undershirts hoodies what the fuck is an undershirt?
[00:42:22] It's like a white shirt you wear under like a dress shirt a t-shirt. I don't wear anything under dress shirt
[00:42:27] I typically don't either. Yeah, really sometimes a wife be every once in a while
[00:42:33] I'll wear something
[00:42:35] To prevent to shield it from what from sweat. Oh
[00:42:39] Well, if that's a problem they have a silver line of silver underwear and shirts that are naturally anti-microbial
[00:42:45] Wow, this kind of shit. They put in sponges a low sponge
[00:42:49] Hey, they eliminate odor
[00:42:51] And mac wall wants you to be comfortable
[00:42:53] So if they don't like your first pair you can keep it and they will still refund you no questions asked not only is mac
[00:42:59] Well, and then we're a sock shirts look good to perform well, too
[00:43:01] It's good for working out going to work going on on dates just every day life
[00:43:04] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um, it's fucking 20% off your first order
[00:43:12] Macwellen calm and a promo code come down 20 and check out
[00:43:18] It's a fuck. It's real money. It's real money bitch. It's just real money
[00:43:23] You don't like the underwear you call him up. He's telling hey listen. I
[00:43:27] Got shit my balls. I got my balls are absolutely you die in my ball sack
[00:43:39] Suck just thinking about it. Yeah, that's why you gotta get Mac well
[00:43:44] And they'll find you your mom if they don't like it and if there's something else you want to spend your money on
[00:43:49] Why not make it our patreon you like these kind of riffs?
[00:43:53] basically
[00:43:54] Doing about shit in your in your nuts. I like this. We'll go to patreon.com slash come town
[00:44:00] Hey, us more money than we already have you get
[00:44:07] You get an extra episode every week plus you have access to all of the back archive of every single pass yup
[00:44:16] And also blu ray rips of every game
[00:44:19] Yeah, we do have who see never dies. Yeah, the entire the entirety of the bang bus catalog
[00:44:28] Okay, ripped and the reality Kings. Oh, yeah, I love those Kings and also come see me
[00:44:36] Distress factory in British port K. You know, we're at first hilarious
[00:44:40] In Atlanta the 23rd
[00:44:43] Nashville the 24th and then Baltimore
[00:44:45] 2930th and then Houston on the 13th of December and then fat Tuesdays every mother fucking Tuesday
[00:44:51] What a bad name for a comedy club this stress factory. I know yeah, where should we go to have a good time a nice relaxing
[00:44:58] You know out and forget about our worries. Yeah, let's go to traumas own. Yeah. Oh look
[00:45:04] They open a new comedy club the Holocaust Museum
[00:45:07] Comedy club
[00:45:12] Hopefully is better than that stress factor replaced
[00:45:16] Anyway, Auschwitz looks like a stress factory. Yes, it's got smucks back. You can't imagine
[00:45:22] We find it to be like a dumbass that lived in whatever town Auschwitz was in yeah
[00:45:28] And like Poland yeah in Poland and like you know people are like this war is crazy and you're like oh
[00:45:34] Yeah, I don't really pay attention to politics stuff
[00:45:40] I'm a moderate politics
[00:45:43] Stuff you know, it's like
[00:45:47] And then you're like just driving past Auschwitz every day to work
[00:45:51] You're like I wonder what they make in that factory
[00:45:53] It seems like it's always always always
[00:45:58] Always got shit going on
[00:46:00] And those workers look fucking tired
[00:46:05] Those guys don't make shit bro this guy's guy I wonder you know they look broken so yeah
[00:46:12] Help me you got to talk to your union right there. Hey, you know, this is your own fault
[00:46:18] You're joining a non-union shop. Yeah, that's what you get. I'm a teacher
[00:46:23] You could be a train driver like me
[00:46:26] I
[00:46:28] Am getting out the work is non-stop. Yeah, and I'm getting paid handsome
[00:46:33] They're like just open the box car doors like dog. I don't touch any of the cargo
[00:46:37] Rules I don't even know what's in the fuck I drive it. They don't even tell me my job is to press the go button on the train
[00:46:44] Fucker steers itself
[00:46:47] $370 an hour six months of vacation
[00:46:52] And I'm racist
[00:46:54] That's where unions used all inclusive
[00:46:57] That's that's usually worry busted your ass at a factory working 22 hours a week
[00:47:03] For the modern day equivalent of
[00:47:06] $480 an hour
[00:47:07] Buy a house for 20 bucks. That's right six bedroom house
[00:47:12] 19 car garage and you get to call 11
[00:47:15] Whatever you want you they kick them off the bus if you want you have fucking you you had you had authority
[00:47:30] Dude, you know what I saw on Twitter that Ernest right the guy who plays Ernest
[00:47:34] Fuck all right P. He fucked Freddie Mercury when he was young Wow Ernest was by
[00:47:42] Wow, doesn't that rule?
[00:47:44] He
[00:47:45] Fucks Freddie Mercury. Yeah, dude, and he was hot. I saw a picture when he was young young Ernest
[00:47:50] What's his name something Ernest goes gay?
[00:47:53] Ernest sucks dick
[00:47:56] Yeah, what's that guy's name Jim Barney Jim Barney? Yes Jim Barney. He was a fucking he was a babe dude
[00:48:02] That man was sexy. I was I watched and he fucked a man who watched a parallax view
[00:48:08] Mm-hmm the other night
[00:48:10] he did for the club no, I don't think so no one knows and
[00:48:16] Yeah, it's weird young Warren Beatty kind of looks like a combination of
[00:48:20] Tim Robinson Joe Biden
[00:48:23] Mmm. Just like I was kind of hot when he was young like Joe Biden's like 92
[00:48:27] He's still hot video of him speaking at an event and he's completely backwards
[00:48:32] He's just facing the screen talking
[00:48:39] That's awesome. I mean, I don't know how you fuck that up that
[00:48:43] Stage there's like clearly an audience in front of you. Oh, yeah, young Warren Beatty could absolutely serve me
[00:48:49] I'm born baby too, but yeah, I aged like a fun one young this motherfucker. Yeah, he's incredible below my pussy
[00:48:55] I saw the the Guy Rishman. Don't talk about it. I haven't seen it
[00:49:02] Well, I won't ruin any of those three and a half beautiful hours. Please don't yeah
[00:49:08] It was really long honestly was ruined by the fact that I needed to piss the last like I'd say 95
[00:49:13] I'm seeing it in my house on Thanksgiving, but I would not be able to not look at my phone
[00:49:18] That's why I saw it in the theater journey make like a
[00:49:21] Like a Jamaican accent joke about it. I agree. I'm sorry man. Oh, yeah, okay. I
[00:49:29] Figured that would be your move. Thanks
[00:49:33] Yeah, I want to see it, dude. Yeah, it's
[00:49:36] Don't nope nothing about it. You don't want to know. I don't even want I don't want even
[00:49:41] I will say that you see Don do that to read about the Irishman. Yeah, it's very funny. Hey, Joe
[00:49:47] What do you say? I don't know his letterbox is really funny. Yeah, he like talks
[00:49:52] He like puts the wrong actors and movies. That's good. What's my man up to?
[00:49:56] He's like some Canadian guy. He's just some guy in Toronto nice
[00:49:59] He's one of the funniest shots out to Don
[00:50:02] Get slobbed off what I will say is at the IFC center
[00:50:06] I saw it on the I saw the 240 screening on a Thursday. Oh, yeah, so is every single old
[00:50:12] Upper West side to do central there and we were like waiting in line
[00:50:16] Will and I and like
[00:50:18] In front of us in line was this guy and his wife and all he was doing for an hour and a half was just complaining about Trump
[00:50:26] And as if they don't live together. He was one share a life together
[00:50:33] Yeah, and he was just like and he's an illegitimate president and the transfer of this fake and
[00:50:38] It's just like they only speak to each other in in mad out, you know, and and then also we got there was an old
[00:50:48] An old man fell down the stairs at the IFC
[00:50:56] Came like all getting the top step
[00:50:59] I thought he was like dead or broken hip or something then a bunch of people helped him up and
[00:51:08] He just turned to the rest of the theater and he was just like I just want to see the movie
[00:51:15] And they're like
[00:51:16] administered first aid like the guys that work there because you didn't want to leave and go to the hospital because he
[00:51:21] Wanted to see the new Marty God damn sick dude
[00:51:24] Damn being around my people is awesome and the fucking you didn't yeah, they're disgusting
[00:51:32] Everyone's got a cold
[00:51:34] Everyone's everyone has germs
[00:51:38] Damn seeing a movie a good-ass movie when you're that old price so good that probably is not my favorite thing
[00:51:46] That's all I want to do when I'm old. Yeah, go to cinema
[00:51:49] Yeah, dude when your cock doesn't work you're free of the tyranny of trying to get pussy
[00:51:53] You could just watch fucking TV and eat and die
[00:51:58] Hang out with your friends at Duncan. I can't wait
[00:52:02] Yeah, I can't wait
[00:52:10] What are you guys doing for fucks giving I still have a problem I think I'm probably see my family nice
[00:52:18] Spread looking like
[00:52:20] We do it all right now, but now my dad has to do it all yeah, it's not as good. You get a catered
[00:52:29] Yeah, I don't know you get a fucking Popeyes fried turkey do they fry a full turkey. Oh, yeah
[00:52:35] Oh, yeah, I tried the sandwich again try to give him another chance
[00:52:39] You know what it is is like with fast food. You got to catch a good one. Yeah, I suppose
[00:52:45] Shut said it was pretty good. I
[00:52:47] Think if you're I get the right Popeyes franchise location and you don't think you were at the right one
[00:52:53] I was at the one in Bedford Stuyvesant. It was not what's the problem there?
[00:52:58] It was not as I don't know their standards might have been lower. You know when you catch a good McDonald's
[00:53:05] Yeah, absolutely. Look at how many McDonald's yesterday. Did you catch a good one?
[00:53:10] What do you mean, you know occasionally you're like this is it. I'm at a good McDonald's right now
[00:53:15] They got like a fucking there's like a fatless hot. There's a fat lesbian manager. That's just absolutely
[00:53:20] She's a hitler so strict
[00:53:26] Now everything's automated that's true
[00:53:30] 15 black women to scream
[00:53:35] Like if we haven't figured out a way to make robots scream
[00:53:38] Once we teach these seven five to
[00:53:48] Hello
[00:53:50] 349 y'all
[00:53:53] It's like okay. That was the first call the automated one is as dangerous when you're fed
[00:53:59] Oh, you shit is ready already shit here. You shit already fucking done
[00:54:03] There you go by oh
[00:54:07] You're talking about the touch screen the touch screen is a problem because when you're fetish it
[00:54:12] Especially when I'm going to McDonald's. I'm usually high as well
[00:54:15] They designed them so that homeless people can kill or have sex with them
[00:54:19] So the screams got like a fucking four and a half and bulletproof
[00:54:23] Glass on it. So you press you have to fuck like you
[00:54:26] Like jam your goddamn finger on the fucking screen just see it
[00:54:30] Yeah, I just or anything and it's like just let the homeless people destroy them of course
[00:54:34] I would rather be convenience then fucking walk out of the store because it's like I don't want to fucking like
[00:54:41] You know literally have to go like put a fucking finger splint on afterwards. Yeah, I've hurt myself all the time
[00:54:46] I'm always covered in cuts
[00:54:49] Don't want to get me angry today. I will I will do I will fuck up and hurt myself
[00:54:53] You remember that tweet a couple months ago with that fat lady, I will smear blood all over your fucking machine
[00:54:59] This is New York City
[00:55:00] If you think I'm not the kind of guy that will lose his patience you're out of your money
[00:55:04] Take a shit and harm myself and shit everywhere myself and shit outside
[00:55:10] Shit in your shit on the floor in the store. So even the homeless guys are like man, you don't even live outside
[00:55:16] I mean I was the last resort for us when we do it is cultural I
[00:55:23] Like boys I like using those
[00:55:26] Machines because they don't misgender me