Cum Town | Regular | 11/21/2019
[00:00:05] We're over here talking about Judge Dred or something.
[00:00:09] We're talking about Blackwater or some shit.
[00:00:13] Pete Buttigieg's bitch ass is in the CIA, dude.
[00:00:29] So we've got, I'm like, what are you looking at?
[00:00:45] I don't, can you remind me of your name?
[00:00:49] Our boy Dylan, we're out here talking about pedophiles and shit.
[00:00:54] And Dylan's sitting in, got a fucking hard dick movie coming out called something about
[00:01:02] Dylan's also a vet of the truck boys game.
[00:01:05] The boys know, yeah, I know it was never a truck boy and that makes me feel sad about
[00:01:11] The familia that thing of yours, which was never a thing of, I was never part of it.
[00:01:18] Because we started working on the truck together, right?
[00:01:23] Because I already off the truck when you started.
[00:01:27] And maybe I worked one or two jobs with you or whatever.
[00:01:30] Because I was just transitioning off that because we had a mutual friend to become a
[00:01:37] Well, it would have been easier to get into production that way.
[00:01:41] Why don't we just give you some titties, dude?
[00:01:47] I mean, they're, I got some suckable ass titties.
[00:01:50] Are they, and they need to get you some more jobs?
[00:01:53] Are there trans people working in production?
[00:02:00] Because to me, at this point, everybody's like, anybody that looks mildly androgynous,
[00:02:05] I did call, I did call, I hear you on that.
[00:02:11] Yeah, he's, uh, don'ts been calling Adam them the whole time.
[00:02:16] I just, I have a lot of anxiety when people, uh, attempt a gender.
[00:02:20] I did feel bad, I was important this weekend and I called a les, who, what appeared to
[00:02:26] me to be a lesbian woman, I just had ma'am just because I've been on a real certain man
[00:02:38] So I picked it up after I came back with my fucking, my fucking, my linen suit and my
[00:02:42] And, uh, I was caught, and then, but I saw the look on their face like I just made a
[00:02:47] mistake and they had a little mustache.
[00:02:50] So I don't know if it was just like, uh, a trend or maybe just a gender queer person.
[00:02:56] I kind of looked like that when I got a month.
[00:03:03] I was just speaking to you in French and in sign language.
[00:03:09] I'm not only is he also deaf, but he heard me somehow.
[00:03:24] You know, that's really annoying to me.
[00:03:26] It's like if you know someone's gender or their preferred gender and you say the wrong
[00:03:29] one on purpose, you're being an asshole.
[00:03:32] But if you make like a honest step and there's, you don't know the person.
[00:03:39] You're not trying to hurt someone's feelings.
[00:03:41] I will never, I would never try to hurt her in a beautiful vest.
[00:03:44] What's nice now, though, like, you know, people used to be scared about, you know, like,
[00:03:48] Oh, is that woman fat or is she pregnant?
[00:03:54] So you can be like, Oh, when's the baby do you hear?
[00:04:04] I assume you were a trans man who has a pussy.
[00:04:09] They got filled up has a man's inside penis.
[00:04:14] Can can Buck can Buck Angel get pregnant?
[00:04:18] She's probably taking a lot of testosterone.
[00:04:23] Him actually is probably taking a lot of testosterone.
[00:04:27] Well, I was thinking about pregnant and then it made me say she now you're the who now
[00:04:32] Well, there was that calling Buck Angel she there was that person in in Australia that
[00:04:36] was pregnant after transitioning to being a man.
[00:04:43] It doesn't like the reproductive system is like you're like the, you know, birth system.
[00:04:50] If you get a penis, but you still have a uterus.
[00:04:57] I am jazzed after they're done with everything.
[00:05:05] Combs hair spritches a little bit of mint in my mouth.
[00:05:08] Yeah, who's the guy that's been waiting for jazz?
[00:05:15] Yeah, but they're about trans girls crossing out.
[00:05:24] And it's like they were famous for being babies.
[00:05:36] To be rare before they were putting estrogen in the milk.
[00:05:43] In vitro babies, there are a lot of twins and triplets.
[00:05:46] You know what's interesting is like, you know, you see those like farm videos of them abusing
[00:05:50] animals and people are like, oh, I don't want to eat meat anymore because everybody's
[00:05:57] I also love watching those videos and I'm throwing dead cows into that giant meat grinder.
[00:06:16] People like watching shit get thrown in those grinders, but not the actual cows.
[00:06:19] I've only watched the videos of dead cows and horses being thrown in there.
[00:06:24] I think once they're dead, there's a lot less emotional chassrons.
[00:06:28] I would love to take my daughter to see her horse be thrown in one of those after she
[00:07:02] It seems like it'd be too tight in France.
[00:07:22] Very much a new but by the end of the app, you'll be turned out.
[00:07:24] I just don't want to have like the sniffle.
[00:07:33] What if halfway through we were like, oh, by the way, we're going to have to rape you
[00:07:36] What if we all just done a cutie and made it.
[00:07:41] I asked you about your numbers, probably.
[00:07:46] So would you be cool with it if we had less or more sex?
[00:07:49] Do you mean numbers is in our body count?
[00:07:55] I thought he didn't want to get emotionally attached.
[00:07:57] I was more than like I was more than like I was more than sex worth, you know, people
[00:08:03] hearing about a movie that I have coming up.
[00:08:12] That's where we have to be pretty good.
[00:08:20] Because I think after one, it doesn't matter.
[00:08:23] I would imagine that the first cuts the Diva.
[00:08:30] Our dicks are soft unless later on they're not wink, wink.
[00:08:56] So why don't you tell us about the flick?
[00:08:58] The flick is Killer Raccoons to Dark Territory in the Dark.
[00:09:03] It is a pretty much shot for shot parody of Under Siege 2.
[00:09:08] Which is one of the worst sequels ever.
[00:09:10] So the whole idea was to like parody bad action sequels for the 90s.
[00:09:16] Well, the worst sequels, I'm talking about sequels that like.
[00:09:23] The second and final inch of Adam's penis.
[00:09:27] The second is only three quarters long.
[00:09:30] Listen, having you admit to the second inch, which is, I think to this point you've never
[00:09:37] I've never admitted to the second inch.
[00:09:44] Pretty soon you're going to recognize my third inch.
[00:09:56] Anytime Palace Nine gets brought up, I want to hear.
[00:10:01] But no, so basically in the 90s, like I grew up on like die hard speed Under Siege.
[00:10:14] But the sequels are equally in my opinion bad.
[00:10:27] Speed Two, you're just going fast on a boat.
[00:10:36] So we essentially got a train for free.
[00:10:48] I'm openly admit to a lot of other things that I like trains.
[00:11:05] I'm going to entertain myself doing magic tricks while you guys talk about your fucking
[00:11:20] So getting raccoons is great because Travis Irvine, the director.
[00:11:25] You got out of it to kill and freeze record.
[00:11:30] Somebody found them in the garbage and they were like, what are you doing?
[00:11:39] In 2017-18, he moved back to Columbus to run for governor at the libertarian party.
[00:11:47] Yeah, because Travis hates age of consent laws.
[00:11:56] Well, that's how he got into Hollywood.
[00:11:59] I mean, he's got a child's ass for every dick.
[00:12:03] But to get the raccoons, they're considered like rodents, so you're supposed to destroy
[00:12:16] So when they catch them, they're supposed to kill them and destroy them.
[00:12:20] But they give them to a biology lab to test them for diseases to see if there are any disease
[00:12:26] And if they're not disease free, they just cryo-freeze them or whatever the tri-ice
[00:12:35] And then you can get them from them for free, like as many raccoons as you want.
[00:12:39] Yeah, like we got eight raccoons from like a biologist that had had them frozen and tested
[00:12:43] and was going to either incinerate them or give them to us.
[00:12:46] And so we got like an official letter that we can have them.
[00:12:50] So if I want to fuck dead raccoons, you can just get them for free?
[00:12:54] I mean, yeah, I mean, I don't, I'm theory hypothetically that-
[00:12:57] Did you have to say it was for a movie or did you say it?
[00:13:04] There's more, yes, of course you can get dead raccoons for free.
[00:13:10] There's plenty of people who wanted an entire train.
[00:13:12] You can make a, you can make a coonskin coat.
[00:13:16] Whatever it is, the process of getting a free train.
[00:13:20] There aren't a million autistic people that haven't figured that out.
[00:13:23] Claim this is because I asked a stupid question.
[00:13:25] No, no, no, no, because you're autistic.
[00:13:27] Nick saying it's for the people at home.
[00:13:31] I'm saying I don't understand others a process in which you can get a free train that hasn't
[00:13:35] already been exploited by retardate people.
[00:13:37] Well, they keep saying them to jail if they try to write a train.
[00:13:42] They have like a, in Nelsonville, Ohio, near the Athens OU Film School, which we have.
[00:13:49] You can just, you put whatever you want on that 501c application.
[00:13:53] It's like, oh, yeah, you give away dead raccoons?
[00:13:58] Well, they have a, they have like, they restore old trains and they run a, they run a tourist
[00:14:12] But they just, we literally just had to pay a, we had to submit to the board.
[00:14:15] It took like a nine months of going from the board, getting approval to do.
[00:14:18] We have to provide insurance, stuff like that.
[00:14:20] But ultimately, their employees were on salary and they were just there anyway.
[00:14:24] Man, I want to meet the, the adjuster who, who, who like does insurance claims for fucking
[00:14:31] model trade, like railroads and antique railroads that you can buy.
[00:14:37] Well, there's, no, they're real railroads, full-size trains that have just been decommissioned.
[00:14:42] And they're like, you know, cool CSX trains.
[00:14:45] And we got $25 a day to tip the guy that drove him around for us.
[00:14:49] But we got, but we got to shoot inside of him, outside of him, all for free.
[00:14:54] So we like, so Travis came up to the idea that-
[00:14:59] But Travis came up with the idea of doing it against under siege two.
[00:15:03] And we both like historically kind of have, like I went to see under siege two in the
[00:15:13] So he asked me if I like, if I like that movie, I was like, I fucking hate that movie.
[00:15:16] He was like, will you parody it for me?
[00:15:19] You know, like, and so he brought me like a budget and a script and we like retooled it.
[00:15:23] Wait, you have a raccoon cigar or you have a man?
[00:15:29] He's actually the, he's a recast same role as the original that Travis made.
[00:15:34] Because Travis made the first one, which is called Coons.
[00:15:43] So we called it, so we called it Killer Raccoons Two.
[00:15:53] The trilogy is going to be a parody on Alien 3 with a little return of the Jedi to make
[00:15:57] it interesting because the original under siege was called Chinks.
[00:16:03] And his students ago was like, well, there's Chinks in the armor of the ship.
[00:16:06] And that's how the terrorists get in through the chinks.
[00:16:19] Under siege to Dr. and it, and it seems to was like, we'll see.
[00:16:27] Our whole thing was we tried to make sure the movie still looked as bad.
[00:16:31] How many now, is there titties in under siege to?
[00:16:34] There, I don't believe, there might be a brief.
[00:16:38] There might be a brief, brief scene with the last one.
[00:16:41] There's no like, girl jumping out of the cake like one.
[00:16:43] You know, like that was like, that was a historic thing.
[00:16:45] I saw that, like a seven in the theaters.
[00:16:50] I was just like, I'm a party shit next to your dad.
[00:16:54] That wasn't even like in the equation at that point.
[00:16:57] You never got a surprise boner for the child?
[00:17:01] But that wasn't like until I was on my way to middle school.
[00:17:04] Like I don't feel like I was popping, popping wood before then.
[00:17:09] I mean like, well I know I could get my dick hard by massaging it as a child.
[00:17:14] And I know one time when me and my brothers were having, we would often have dick measuring
[00:17:28] Even brother beating you and it didn't happen.
[00:17:33] 13 is perfectly reasonable news in the bedroom.
[00:17:34] Just blasting the NBA jam theme in the basement.
[00:17:35] Your mom's like, what are you doing now?
[00:18:07] Something his mom needs in the kitchen.
[00:18:10] He's using the measures of brothers penis.
[00:18:13] My brothers are twins and they're two years younger than me.
[00:18:18] I never measured my grown penis next to my baby brothers penises and lost.
[00:18:30] The point I was trying to make in the nick was that I would guess hard.
[00:18:35] They used to be his man only in their cell.
[00:18:50] I got to imagine different sizes as twin brothers.
[00:18:54] Yeah, I think my brothers, okay, to be fair, I'm pretty sure my brothers have big
[00:19:08] I've seen eldest penis quite a bit and it is pretty small.
[00:19:17] My friend Dylan to catch you up, my dear friend and roommate,
[00:19:22] eldest, whatever, has a really small penis.
[00:19:28] Let's say roommate for life kind of situation.
[00:19:31] He's not my roommate for life, i.e. I'm gay.
[00:19:35] But anyway, the point of the question I was asking,
[00:19:38] thank guys to keep it to ask back to the movie, is how,
[00:19:44] if there were no titties or if there was a brief flash,
[00:19:50] We have like a, we have a gratuitous parody.
[00:19:58] Because in the beginning, yeah, they use it.
[00:20:00] They have to, they're using a special satellite to zoom in on it.
[00:20:07] If it happened in under siege too, like the only difference is
[00:20:10] like instead of running across the train, like with a helicopter
[00:20:13] shot, we would do them climbing across the train.
[00:20:19] We did use drones to get some coverage, but with an actor running
[00:20:22] on the train, that was a little out of our element.
[00:20:26] We were trying to keep, if you watch hot shots or airplane,
[00:20:32] You're not getting, like we got so much better production value out
[00:20:38] It's amazing how many people will do favors and solids when they,
[00:20:41] to be like, oh, yeah, I'm the VFX on a feature.
[00:20:45] A lot of really talented people will do a lot of fun shit to make a
[00:20:50] I mean, we started shooting like two weeks after the Weinstein
[00:20:55] So nobody could get their dick hard until you got, you know, I
[00:20:59] think the point next time I make is if you really needed your dick
[00:21:02] to get hard for this movie to get made, we know a service that
[00:21:06] If you're reading the Weinstein news and you're reeling about all
[00:21:09] the rapes, and you can't believe it myself.
[00:21:11] And you're trying to get your dick hard and you can't, you should
[00:21:15] You should check out a website called bluechoo.com.
[00:21:24] You know, Dylan earlier when I said, would you get fucked by us?
[00:21:28] I was going to say me and Nick can't even get hard, but that was
[00:21:33] So luckily for you, we both took bluechoo and what they do is they
[00:21:39] offer the generic version of Viagra C.A.
[00:21:42] We're talking to Dan D'Lofil and Seden D'Lofil or whatever.
[00:21:47] So Don, Sedon, Sedon, Sedon, Sedon, Sedon, my dick.
[00:21:56] Yeah, you're dick gets hard as it and cigarettes taste even worse.
[00:22:01] Yeah, basically if you like sex, you'll like bluechoo.
[00:22:04] You're like, not bluechoo, bluechoo.com.
[00:22:16] Because they offer men a performance enhancement for the bedroom.
[00:22:17] Wouldn't you like to last longer and go extra rounds?
[00:22:22] Extra rounds and what they mean by that is like, don't you want to
[00:22:29] That episode of Black Mirror when the guy has sex with his friend
[00:22:36] Oh, you're having gay sex on the ground.
[00:22:45] You wouldn't even need to be hard, right?
[00:22:47] Because you can even be with it in virtual reality.
[00:22:54] Maybe bluechoo should get into that space where you have VR, gay sex.
[00:22:58] We don't need to because they make you kill yourself.
[00:23:00] The heart would have a wet dream, right?
[00:23:04] I assume it's blood rushing down that way.
[00:23:08] Most of the fantasy dreams I have is like I'm on the battlefield
[00:23:19] You only get into the castle and slit her son's throat in front of her.
[00:23:23] And then right as you get hard, that's when your mom wakes you up.
[00:23:30] Watching you say this with the chain mail behind you is like...
[00:23:35] You say, my mom's like, get out of my bed.
[00:23:37] Mom, I told you I took a blue tree before I went to sleep and I don't want to call me my own bed.
[00:23:42] I don't want to get calm in my bed, Mom.
[00:23:48] I had a wet dream when I was a child thinking about it.
[00:23:51] I have to go to my job at the video game store that I have so I can get cheaper video games.
[00:23:56] How I continue to pay for the rest of the money back into the fucking business.
[00:24:03] that is probably a huge part of their business model.
[00:24:08] How much of their employees, Jags, go back into the game.
[00:24:12] Dude, I worked with two guys that had kids and they were like constantly buying it,
[00:24:16] pre-ordering stuff and it would come out and be like,
[00:24:18] and they would be like, yeah, this is going to be great playing this with my son.
[00:24:21] It's like, first of all, he's two. I doubt he's playing Halo 3 with this.
[00:24:25] You just use the child to justify purchasing more video games.
[00:24:31] but they have every fucking Ninja-Gaiden.
[00:24:36] But they watch you play while they're crying.
[00:24:39] And the way he actually conceived that child is he got his dick card with Glitchu.com.
[00:24:47] See, I thought Blutu up until now was just a slang for chewing, but yeah.
[00:24:54] No, it's like that when you actually...
[00:24:55] Would it actually is a miracle surface?
[00:24:58] You don't even need to change your lives.
[00:25:01] The chewables from Blutu could be taken on a four empty stomach.
[00:25:04] That's the thing a lot of people don't know.
[00:25:10] I thought that meant that was like more like a street-wicked disgusting.
[00:25:35] Yeah, I mean, I don't even want to say it.
[00:25:42] When you say it's too well, you mean you get harder and inappropriate things?
[00:25:49] Well, dude, you should pop a Blutu and then really go super.
[00:25:52] Well, that's why I've never touched any of those because I don't.
[00:25:56] I feel like I'm going to be the four-hour guy.
[00:25:59] I've had enough of you bragging about your thing.
[00:26:01] I am the one I am not pleased to not take that as bragging.
[00:26:06] I go on Rogan if you're one of those guys.
[00:26:12] That Blutu guarantees that if your dick stays hard longer than four hours,
[00:26:23] You think about your dick being hard and it's like, this is something that, you know,
[00:26:28] your penis is like, it goes into your body.
[00:26:33] You know, because we always think about it, it's like it's this thing outside of your body,
[00:26:36] but it goes into your body and it's like, what's it fucking doing in there?
[00:26:45] So, if you want to... if you like the Joe Rogan...
[00:26:53] I have often said that your penis is something that is inside of your body.
[00:26:57] If we had... if we passed Medicare for all, you wouldn't have to pay anything for Blutu.
[00:27:01] It would be sent to you directly to your house and discreet packaging for free.
[00:27:11] Yeah, so if you want to get your dick hard as fuck, as hard as Dylan's is all time.
[00:27:16] It only takes a few minutes to connect with the Blutu.com affiliated position,
[00:27:19] and if you qualify, you get prescribed online quickly.
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[00:27:26] Ships directly to your door in the discreet packaging.
[00:27:30] The Chewables from Blutu were prescribed online by a doctor and made in the USA.
[00:27:33] Blutu gives you confidence in bed every time.
[00:27:41] Visit Blutu.com and get your first order free when you use promo code COMTOW.
[00:27:46] That's B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W.com promo code COMTOW.
[00:27:51] And as long as you're on it, I guess, like, so what's the deal with the movie?
[00:28:05] But, KillerRecons2.com, we have a website that will have our tour dates.
[00:28:10] Me and Travis are taking on a roadshow to either Comedy Clubs or movie theaters.
[00:28:14] Adam will be tweeting out all those links.
[00:28:24] But, we're starting at the Inkalumbas at Studio 35 in the CIT theater.
[00:28:29] But, we'll be doing two shows in Brooklyn.
[00:28:31] One at Film Nor, which is on Mezzarol over here.
[00:28:34] And then, we're doing a one at Nighthawk in Prospect Park.
[00:28:40] The one that is pavilion turned into Nighthawk.
[00:28:44] But, they're much cheaper than Nighthawk Williamsburg.
[00:28:49] It's substantially nicer than the Williamsburg Nighthawk.
[00:29:02] You know, I really like, I miss, I've been to a couple of just old shitty movie theaters
[00:29:08] Like, one's not even auditorium seating that flat ship.
[00:29:14] The ads before the movie are static images that are being like diner menus.
[00:29:19] The Lorenzo's fucking detail and service.
[00:29:26] If I, it's like cozy, it's like you're getting bed bugs, but you don't care.
[00:29:29] You're with people who just, you know, they're talking, you're talking to them, they're getting
[00:29:37] And you're like, are you a big fan of the Coon series?
[00:29:49] Louis J. Gomez, who's my friend who's sitting somewhere in this theater, I can't tell.
[00:29:55] I went to see Parasite in the theater like that in Portland.
[00:30:04] They just followed Adam around with the camera.
[00:30:09] It's like, I can't kill himself so I can keep her.
[00:30:13] I like, I like making my own Dashi at home.
[00:30:18] I mean, because once you have, if you have rice with the out Dashi after having it with
[00:30:33] The Rethi sign is destroyed all of the mics.
[00:30:36] The lab mics have been re- they're rusted from all of your breathy exact aspirations.
[00:30:41] Well, they're stuck together because of the air.
[00:30:58] Not if when you're in a family of one, you don't really get us.
[00:31:03] I cook for myself all the time when I was a little.
[00:31:08] In fact, when I'm in a relationship, I'm less inclined to cook because it's like, you know,
[00:31:13] Yeah, well, then they got to eat the shit and it's like, yeah, fuck this.
[00:31:22] I'm making macaroni and mac and cheese.
[00:31:34] I crack mac and cheese with tuna and hot sauce.
[00:31:41] I actually made ona giri the other night.
[00:31:44] What's like the cheese and the tuna is like a tuna meal?
[00:31:48] The open of my windows would be like, just in case anybody was wondering what the smell
[00:31:54] It's like it's not delivery is disjourno.
[00:32:18] It's like, it's not delivery is disjourno.
[00:32:25] That's like on the bottom of the screen.
[00:32:53] What kind of shoes are you working with?
[00:33:19] It's waving your hands in front of dangerous motherfuckers.
[00:33:42] Some people are going to show up to the live show now wearing that.
[00:33:46] Remember when you said it was the ultimate outfit?
[00:33:55] Oh, when I was in Portland, there was a fucking, there was a bootleg comic con.
[00:33:59] I rode the elevator with the family of cosplayers.
[00:34:02] And let me just tell you, it did not smell good.
[00:34:06] Oh, they were smelled like musty ass pussy hole.
[00:34:17] They were really like a family of just fat ass sailor moons.
[00:34:22] That's awful to raise your kids, though.
[00:34:27] It's like how Renfest kids in high school smell bad, too.
[00:34:32] And they all had frizzy ass long ass hair.
[00:34:35] I'm glad I don't smell, because if I could, I would.
[00:34:38] You know, I would smell so fucking bad.
[00:34:42] If it was possible for me to smell, damn.
[00:34:49] It's like better than wearing headphones.
[00:34:52] Yeah, I've never worn deodorant, and I wouldn't.
[00:34:55] I mean, I've worn it twice, but there's no reason to.
[00:35:11] If I don't change my clothes, and I work for three days, eventually I'll smell it.
[00:35:19] I guess I'm chronically dehydrated, so I don't sweat really.
[00:35:26] I don't smell it too bad when my balls start up.
[00:35:29] After not shaving for a couple days, my balls.
[00:35:39] Your balls smell worse when you're in heat.
[00:35:43] I believe there's nothing you can do about it.
[00:35:45] Yeah, my balls don't smell bad, though.
[00:35:49] They smell like people are going to call me a liar, but it's freshly cut grass.
[00:35:53] You said before, and I did call you a liar, and I will again.
[00:36:00] I've made women try it, and they're like, I guess you're right.
[00:36:03] And then it's like, I guess you're right.
[00:36:06] Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to make dinner for myself.
[00:36:39] Just wearing that outfit with your balls hanging out.
[00:36:46] I'm like, can you give me my clothes back?
[00:36:51] I'm like, Bob, I'm going to be late for work.
[00:36:55] I need to make my Japanese, my called my tour of the world breakfast before going to the
[00:37:15] That's what you thought about GameStop.
[00:37:17] I thought about for a while, but at a grocery store so that I would get.
[00:37:30] It would be funny if you worked at a grocery store and got fired day one.
[00:37:33] Because whoever hired you, you're like, can we take some of the meat?
[00:37:46] You would take one little piece and then maybe another one 20 seconds later in your mind.
[00:37:56] Yeah, 100% like people are observing your real life.
[00:37:59] You're just like, oh, let me just try this.
[00:38:13] I'll go back to the other way and see interesting.
[00:38:21] I'm trying like without with my eyes closed to like match up every kind of cheese with what they gave me.
[00:38:29] Me and some of the customers are doing the Pepsi taste challenge in the back.
[00:38:32] No, I thought it would be a fun thing for the customers if we did the honey graham.
[00:38:36] Well, I'm doing it first to get all the kinks out myself.
[00:38:40] I saw a 10 gram flavor called Outdoor Adventure yesterday and the bears got like a net and like an explorer outfit on.
[00:38:48] He's like, but they're like butterflies and stuff.
[00:38:51] And it's like, this is just for eating inside.
[00:38:53] Yeah, because you'd be like, oh, it's exercise.
[00:39:20] I work in kids and customers ask, I want to know.
[00:39:26] You can say, look, do you want me to be 100% committed to customer service or not?
[00:39:31] Because otherwise I'm going to have to go through this store and have direct hand knowledge.
[00:39:41] I just show up on how he's been working and just eating with a notebook.
[00:40:04] When I work the dominoes, I don't think you take home pizzas.
[00:40:07] So I'm going to take home some of the cash register.
[00:40:10] So have you ever had a fantasy of being locked in a supermarket overnight?
[00:40:15] Like a night at the museum situation, a restaurant?
[00:40:22] I get all night to whip up a restaurant.
[00:40:27] But like a grocery store has like everything a restaurant has on it, right?
[00:40:30] No, they don't have like the burners and shit.
[00:40:37] Like a full commercial kitchen for you to enjoy.
[00:40:47] I'm talking about like a grocery store that has like a deli section.
[00:40:53] Yeah, where is in the back of a restaurant?
[00:41:04] Everybody's just shitting their pants over Wegmans and it's like what do they got milk?
[00:41:13] But the thing is it's not going to be good in New York because they don't have the real
[00:41:17] Like what makes Wegmans crazy in like fucking Owings Mills, Maryland is that they have like
[00:41:22] you know the same amount of square footage as an entire mall.
[00:41:28] It's like by the like production studios and stuff.
[00:41:34] They were just like yeah, we don't give a shit.
[00:41:42] It's like the government can do whatever they want.
[00:41:45] They probably make more money off the land not having the military.
[00:41:48] I do like that they type military is just an expense.
[00:41:51] But how much could they possibly be making?
[00:42:02] Yeah, they turned all the armories into homeless shelters.
[00:42:05] And went over on fucking Atlantic and Bedford.
[00:42:10] And yeah, just a bum coming out of there like a king.
[00:42:19] I seem to fix them to shoot some dope into my acceptor if you catch my drift.
[00:42:30] I mean, I'm going to shoot dope into my dick.
[00:42:36] Dude, I imagine it'd be very sensitive.
[00:42:38] The first time you used that dick vein for heroin, though, must be awesome.
[00:42:46] I mean, you don't ruin your arm if you shoot one time.
[00:42:50] Yeah, but you ruined the beautiful aesthetic value.
[00:42:52] Yeah, you shoot up and the fucking, you know, your vein can only take so much stress before.
[00:43:05] I had friends that were junkies and like after a couple of years, their arms, they'd
[00:43:10] And then they just look like cookie monster.
[00:43:13] They have these fat arms that hang forward.
[00:43:19] They're just like these big like monster paws.
[00:43:26] I want my cock to spring back into action when it's getting sucked.
[00:43:30] Well, maybe just a little heroin and then a tiny little bit of blue chew.
[00:43:36] We'll balance it out, you know, that's true.
[00:43:45] Well, I'll tell you what, if you want to buy heroin, you're going to need money.
[00:43:53] No, you're going to keep it in a wallet.
[00:44:01] It is a special type of wallet you can get.
[00:44:07] You can go into the tip of your into the ridge.
[00:44:12] The ridge wallet is specially designed for guys that love banging dope right in there.
[00:44:41] I had about an inch removed from the middle of the head.
[00:44:48] Does your scar on your dick look like bite marks also?
[00:44:53] No, you got your cock bitten by a rabbit.
[00:45:12] No, dude, you didn't even know that's wrong.
[00:45:18] You know that my foreskin wasn't bitten off.
[00:45:21] That's why you're not allowed to use the ridge wall.
[00:45:29] You have to use the old wallet that everybody's grandma or ex-girlfriends give them.
[00:45:35] Your dumb bitch ex-girlfriend that just gets you shit from the.
[00:45:41] And it's like, I don't want to exchange a fucking gift.
[00:45:46] And then you spend all day like getting a nice gift.
[00:45:47] And then it's just some shit from the like what are those like Rotunda's.
[00:45:51] Those things that just like like sunglass.
[00:46:07] Why don't you give me something other than Eddie Bauer spatula.
[00:46:25] I'm talking about ex girlfriends by the big old leather wall.
[00:46:29] You probably have a leather wall, right?
[00:46:49] I had one of those and I just wanted another wallet because like it got too loose and the
[00:46:54] That's what's happening to my right now.
[00:46:57] This company, Rich, sponsored the podcast.
[00:47:03] It showed up and I'm like, this is fucking, this is the game I've ever seen.
[00:47:06] I was like, this is the stupidest fucking wallet I've ever seen.
[00:47:08] It comes with a screwdriver in case you want to add your own attachments, which I guess
[00:47:12] if you're like, I don't know, you pretend you're in the military or you're supposed to
[00:47:20] I was like, all right, I'm going to use this thing for a week and then just go buy a leather
[00:47:32] Is that like, do you stick that in your back pocket?
[00:47:38] And it's like, you know, like credit card is, that's the one I use all the time.
[00:47:48] It doesn't look like it would be at first, but you get used to it.
[00:47:49] And then it's like, yeah, I don't want another wallet now.
[00:47:52] I also don't have a bunch of fucking receipts and bullshit, you know, floating around.
[00:47:57] But I like my problem is I always, I'm going to feel weird not having anything in my back
[00:48:04] And also you have like so many sandwich club cards and shit in there.
[00:48:07] They like, you know, you'll never use again.
[00:48:11] They also got fucking phone cases and shit.
[00:48:17] I took the carbon fiber one for myself.
[00:48:23] You know, I'm not used to carbon fiber gear.
[00:48:27] When you're talking about when I'm when I'm shaving fucking micro seconds off my quarter
[00:48:33] And you have your wallet and your pocket.
[00:48:36] Every pound I throw up before I get in that car and I get myself blamed by a revolutionary
[00:48:43] I have all the bleaches all over your ass.
[00:48:51] And when that like when that clock stops at the end and it says 16.97 seconds, you know,
[00:48:58] I got the best fucking Toyota Tercel in the business.
[00:49:06] They got fucking steel and then I don't know.
[00:49:23] I think it's a lot on that that subreddit every day.
[00:49:29] Very funny because it's always like a wall like this and then a gun and then like Ernest
[00:49:40] I hope someone I hope it would be that would be justified if like every couple of days somebody
[00:49:45] was like, oh, hey, guys, Bert was shot to death.
[00:49:50] Well, checking in as manager of the radio chat.
[00:49:53] Another everyday Carrie guy came in and beat him in a duel.
[00:50:00] Is everyday Carrie motherfuckers have guns?
[00:50:02] It's people that, yeah, they have like, like, they're like, they're, they're, they're
[00:50:07] But anytime the word Carrie is thrown in there, it's usually asked to do with guns.
[00:50:12] I think whatever Carrie is like, synonymous with it now.
[00:50:27] There was one day where I could put a gun in his mouth.
[00:50:31] One of the episodes we deleted was you did that.
[00:50:36] It was like, hey, you got kind of weird.
[00:50:45] I bought a handgun when I was 17 and I got pulled over on my way home after my.
[00:51:00] I thought like he knew something that I didn't know.
[00:51:02] You know, like he was just for speeding.
[00:51:04] No, he's just some fucking suburban police officer that just flipped out on me.
[00:51:07] But I had like a like a like a 17 when I had a new bullet and he pulled out his ridge wall
[00:51:13] and the cop is like, I didn't realize your military person was.
[00:51:18] I'm on my way to the black elementary school to deal with some jobs.
[00:51:22] He's like, oh, you got a guy here to join me.
[00:51:27] I hear somebody owes a little school lunch debt.
[00:51:33] And then we flew the helicopter directly over to me.
[00:51:39] We rolled through the fucking gymnasium.
[00:51:44] If you don't on the ridge wall, it comes in titanium.
[00:51:47] So get 10% off today with free worldwide shipping and returns.
[00:51:50] So we're talking America, India, fucking Uzbek, Kazakhstan, the country of Africa everywhere
[00:51:58] except Israel, which I'm sure they've shipped to.
[00:52:02] But if you're listening and you're an Israel, please just, you know, maybe go find them.
[00:52:27] So everyone except people in Israel right now is listening.
[00:53:00] And there was a thing called, there was a,
[00:53:05] a Swappers Day type field market thing.
[00:53:08] Or like flea market thing that you can go to.
[00:53:12] you pointed a handgun, they're like 150.
[00:53:19] Like I was not, I, and they're like, boom,
[00:53:22] you just walk in, walk out, by gun, walk over to the next booth,
[00:53:32] I just, my friends had a bunch of property
[00:53:34] and we would do like, Target shooting and stuff like that.
[00:53:36] And so, and I just wanted to own a gun because I could.
[00:53:41] I can argue for always committing a crime
[00:53:47] Like if you were like, you can rob a bank,
[00:53:51] Like that, like, you know, like that idea.
[00:53:55] I shouldn't be doing this, but I can, so I'm going to.
[00:53:57] And then the cop did not find out you had a gun.
[00:54:02] holding it in his hand when we got pulled over,
[00:54:05] And he like just stuck it under his seat.
[00:54:06] But the cop pulled his gun on me, pulled us out.
[00:54:12] Sure didn't see you buy the gun and then.
[00:54:14] No, no, I bought the gun like 15 miles away and he just had,
[00:54:22] It was in a, it was in a, it was in a box.
[00:54:27] like lift up a box and it felt a little like cushion thing
[00:54:31] And it was like a little PP seven looking like James Bond.
[00:54:43] Yeah, I guess there's no reason to search the car or whatever.
[00:54:46] But why did he have to just like, there's no way you could be
[00:54:48] like a black dude and they wouldn't search the car.
[00:54:53] I had to get out of the car, like hands up, walk, walk over.
[00:54:55] Every white guy's the story is like, yeah, I was drunk and I was doing 200 and a
[00:55:01] I told him I was late to my grandmother's funeral.
[00:55:05] I could find my clothes before I left the house.
[00:55:08] I just taped a bunch of guns to my body.
[00:55:25] Yeah, Adam's panicking because the early bird special.
[00:55:37] But also the next point there is the early bird special at Burger Bagels.
[00:55:42] Adam's got to get over to Burger Bagels.
[00:55:57] Yeah, there's a guy apparently who just goes, he's just in the bathroom all night next to
[00:56:03] You're going to keep the human urinals.
[00:56:06] You wait, you just described what you do?
[00:56:08] I've never been to Burger Hein, but that's probably, you know, when in Rome, you got to
[00:56:17] If he's getting horny and you piss in his mouth, was that gate?
[00:56:31] And I'll put it on the Patreon for the fans.
[00:56:36] I assume it's like a lot of like camgirls and stuff have.
[00:56:40] Yeah, you got to be like a rottic art or something.
[00:56:43] Well, I'm launching a, I'm launching an only fans pretty soon.
[00:56:48] I thought about that, but it was only going to be pictures of my balls.
[00:56:53] I used to pay attention to that shit, but it's like, well, what'll happen?
[00:56:56] We get kicked off the Patreon who gives the shit.
[00:57:03] Can you, I made $60 to purchase the video game.
[00:57:14] They're like, we are taking the game back for me.
[00:57:25] I sound like this, but I'm also gay for the record.
[00:57:57] I think they're, I think they're incredibly smart.
[00:58:05] Like you're trying to have sex with them.
[00:58:11] A lot of the time Spanish ladies are calling me stupid.
[00:58:22] On in Miami and a bunch of women were calling me stupid.
[00:58:31] Telling me that I had one of the nicest bodies in Miami.
[00:58:36] Yeah, you got one of like, you guys just had a good body.
[00:58:41] Yeah, me and my friend met a couple of chongas.
[00:58:44] And we asked them if they wanted a chicken fight on our shoulders.
[00:58:51] She can feel their pussies on your neck.
[00:58:54] And that's I'm going to count that as sex.
[00:58:58] If she has like readjusting, you kind of can feel the different parts of her pussy.
[00:59:03] If you can't feel which part of her pussy is on your neck, it doesn't count.
[00:59:07] Well, that's honestly why I don't do a lot of neck exercises is so that I can fit my
[00:59:11] thi my thin neck between the pussy lips of a of a chonga down on South Beach.
[00:59:23] I'm trying to get sucked off by a chonga by a chonga.
[00:59:27] Yeah, I'm trying to have a fucking I'm trying to have some fucking what the fuck do they
[00:59:35] I'm going to start calling the police on this show.
[00:59:56] I mean, what are the taxes on that fucking business?
[01:00:03] I mean, yeah, in general pay your fucking taxes.
[01:00:05] That's the thing like sex workers do that shit.
[01:00:07] Dude, I don't get why sex workers are all communists now because from my experience,
[01:00:18] Well, I mean, they're trying to brand as as communist or socialist now.
[01:00:23] I was saying you shouldn't be should be able to call yourself a sex worker unless you've
[01:00:31] Because it's like, that would be a sex criminal.
[01:00:33] No, you know, the drug of being sex criminal.
[01:00:38] Would you not be able to have a little bull?
[01:00:42] Yeah, I mean, yeah, calling if you're like, yeah, I'm a hustler or whatever.
[01:00:45] And you're like, just some fucking like white guy that sells weed.
[01:00:50] So technically, Bill Clinton, not a pedophile because he was never arrested for it.
[01:00:55] Well, no, I mean, it works the opposite for pedophiles.
[01:01:00] If you have been arrested for it, you're a dog shit pedophile.
[01:01:06] Also, I don't think Bill Gates would call himself a pedophile.
[01:01:14] I don't think he's going to say I am a pedophile.
[01:01:17] I don't care that I haven't been arrested.
[01:01:23] That's at the Billy Gates, Billy the kid.
[01:01:32] going to need you to come by tickets to see me in Atlanta
[01:01:44] And then also Baltimore on Thanksgiving weekend,
[01:01:49] And I'm trying to add some shit in Texas,
[01:01:53] Also, funny moms is we have one next week.
[01:01:57] And then I'm thinking we'll probably just
[01:02:09] Doing San Francisco the 6th of January.
[01:02:24] Nick's trying to disorient the Stavras.
[01:02:35] That would honestly be awesome if we had one again.
[01:02:40] I've just restocked a store and everything sold out
[01:02:45] I have some things left if you want to go to cum.town
[01:02:49] and pick up a shirt, maybe a holiday gift
[01:02:54] Oh, and by the way, Stavi Baby calendars are on the way.
[01:03:02] We're getting their just democratic nominees with your body.
[01:03:06] I'm doing a lot of fucking Kamala Harris stuff.
[01:03:10] Man, I'm so happy that she's just losing.
[01:03:16] Well, she hired all the Hillary's like hit.
[01:03:20] The biggest losers immediately after gloating,
[01:03:23] that she's like, I'm a front-runner candidate
[01:03:25] to like about Tulsi Gabbard calling around
[01:03:29] It's like, first of all, I'm a front-runner candidate
[01:03:31] immediately polling in fucking three, one percent.
[01:03:36] They put out a poll that said Pete was like way ahead
[01:03:41] But did you see that half of the respondents
[01:03:45] Yeah, that was a so it's not a perspective voters.
[01:03:51] About South Carolina, like 400 black fucking South Carolina.
[01:03:57] And they were white, 42% of white people.
[01:04:00] And then most of them, like the bigger names on there
[01:04:03] were like media assets and they're like, I never endorsed them.
[01:04:08] And they sent out an email to everybody on that list saying,
[01:04:10] like, you can choose to opt out of saying you endorsed Pete
[01:04:14] That's like if you don't respond to you endorse.
[01:04:27] But with a fucking one of the eyes is an L.
[01:04:31] And it's like Dan Niner did that to what's his name.
[01:04:42] I'm looking for the Indian version of Russell Peter.
[01:04:57] We'll plug the live dates when you have them.
[01:04:59] Do you have any live dates actually lined up?
[01:05:07] And then we're trying to book Philly and D.C. right now.
[01:05:10] We're in Brooklyn, 12, 4, 12, 5, Burlington, Vermont, 12, 6, Montreal, 12, 7, Chicago, 12,
[01:05:19] And then we're like Asheville, Knoxville, Nashville, like.
[01:05:33] He probably costs a lot of money getting in Flashcock.
[01:05:36] I assume he's real cheap to not do Flashcock.
[01:05:41] So we haven't playing a general in the bunker room.
[01:05:47] And there's a bunch of really great comedians
[01:05:50] that have Nick Vadarot, James and Tony.
[01:05:55] We have a lot of great cammias throughout.
[01:05:58] It's a fun, like there's a big comedy movie.
[01:06:06] The good, all good people, they all worked for nothing to help us make it happen.
[01:06:10] It's a fun movie that's like completely the worst movie ever, man.
[01:06:14] We'll be in the third one, man, as long as we're in two, there's tits.
[01:06:27] We're doing a, it'll be Alien 3 parody next time.
[01:06:29] So we can, we can get a little weirder in space.
[01:06:31] How about NC 8 where it's like there's sex in it, but we want not.
[01:06:46] It's a video of me exposure on my penis.
[01:06:53] I don't want innocent five year olds seeing, but those fucking horny six year olds.
[01:07:02] Well, with that idea, everyone, we're going to leave you.