Cum Town | Regular | 01/08/2020
[00:00:00] Yeah, are you got everything plugged in I'm plugged in plugged in over I got my shit plug dude
[00:00:09] You plugged in over here tight. I got my mic plugged in. I got my butt plug plugged in got everything
[00:00:15] Plug stuff what I'm plugged into you actually. Oh my god
[00:00:23] Yeah, I bet this guy a lot of errors escaping out of my ass cuz Adam's penis is too small
[00:00:28] Well, I went in soft. I bet this guy. No, it's hard. I can feel it. He bet this guy fucking likes Thomas to tank engine
[00:00:34] Yeah, I bet for us. Watch as that shit knows all the fucking characters
[00:00:37] Yeah, yeah, I thought you know who Thomas is and Gordon and the twins
[00:00:41] Well, it seems like you know a lot of characters. Yeah, but this fucking guy fucking loves that show
[00:00:46] Oh, I bet he does bro. I bet he's got the fucking clothes with those guys on it
[00:00:51] I was getting myself good imagining a guido that accuses people watching but he knows everything
[00:00:56] He's like, no, you know, I just you know, I passed by it. There was a song sometimes
[00:01:05] Thomas's you know, it comes on the picture in picture by accident. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm trying to watch fucking once upon a time in America
[00:01:15] Wise guy wise guy remember that show. I don't mean I think it was a show Bronx tail Bronx tail
[00:01:28] Fidiliana goes west. Yeah, it's about Italian rats
[00:01:33] Who I hate him. I hate him no rats in my fucking family. I hope they get eaten by the cat cat police
[00:01:45] So there's rats and there's mice is a mouse good a mouse dude. I want to rewatch the great mouse detective
[00:01:52] Mm-hmm alone the big the big scary rat is fuck still fucking scared again. Yeah, but he was gay was he yeah
[00:01:59] I remember when he was like singing dancing at a top hat. I
[00:02:05] Was a little kid would scare the shit out of me was that first scene with his like bat henchman?
[00:02:10] Yeah, that like is like creeping around the house
[00:02:13] There's a shot of him in like the windows and when I was a little kid that scared the shit
[00:02:16] Fuck me. I know exactly the shot you're talking about. Yeah, we're it's like the silhouette
[00:02:20] Let's on the let's go ahead and just pull it up. We're gonna watch the great mouse
[00:02:27] I would honestly love that good content. Yeah, is there pussy in the great mouse detectives. They're loving. Yes. There's full penetration
[00:02:34] No, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, you know, it's funny. Don't be fizzy of a bitch
[00:02:39] I would see the grumber mouse detective a bunch as a kid but for whatever reason I never knew the title of the movie
[00:02:45] Hmm. Somehow was like one of those movies that I'd seen a bunch and I just I was like, oh, yeah
[00:02:49] That fucking dude. I know I actually thought it was a different move because there's a lot dude now that I think about
[00:02:54] There's a lot of like mouse type of rescuers. There's the rescuers. There's five old rescuers down under
[00:03:01] There's me of course Mickey. You think they were biting Mickey shit. Rata tool. No, that was later on
[00:03:07] Yeah, I don't think I ever saw that actually me neither. I get the idea though me neither the mouse cooks
[00:03:15] Anyways, I'm gonna be watching baby movies where you go. Can I see that? Can I see rat the great rat detective?
[00:03:22] Yeah, I'm trying to what's some other mouse type movies
[00:03:28] Stewart little Stuart little I saw that at beltways beltway movie six with my mother
[00:03:34] It's a discount theater that she used to take us to
[00:03:37] Everything costs like $4 the popcorn brother the popcorn was cheap
[00:03:41] Was there that the popcorn was like $2 for a big-ass band at a movie theater
[00:03:45] This was a discount movie fun way of movie six shots out to them. I think I think there's no business
[00:03:50] That's where I saw a stepbrothers. Oh, no college hilarious
[00:03:57] Shut one of the McKay O'Farrell. I think it's probably the best. I mean that those are those of age so good
[00:04:03] Uh-huh tell dig a nice rocks my cock so funny anyways, I can't find it, but yeah, there's this there's just said one
[00:04:10] You know, he's in his fucking lab doing something lining up a bullet. I know and it's like a lightning flash a lightning flash
[00:04:16] A little bats outside. Yeah, that's and dude. I literally know the fucking I know the scene
[00:04:20] They used to get me good scary when I was a child dude
[00:04:24] Ragan also was built he had a big he had big titties, but like he was tiny yet down with his legs
[00:04:29] Yeah, which is a fucked up side fucked up a type of way to be he was a titts on the stick
[00:04:49] You could just be a little bit just fast. I think I just be a long list my friend
[00:04:54] And my pit of despair. Dude. Let me get in there. Let me get let me get the despair dude get in here
[00:04:59] I'm over here now as well. Oh nice nice, dude. Then Adam's gay ass is over in regular
[00:05:07] He doesn't get to be I want to be in depression with no we're over here fucking we're off bitches with big
[00:05:13] Fuckin titties. It's not fair to let me know participants. We have depression
[00:05:16] We have depression we're getting our dick sucks by girls wearing black lipstick. Yeah, well and we're listening to the cure no
[00:05:41] I wanted to see if there was a different me and Nick are holding hands getting our dick sucked
[00:05:45] We're in some was to painting our nails with black nail polish
[00:05:49] Look at him nail polish put on well while our our dicks are in one mouth
[00:06:04] Now take us out of depression so we can hear Adam's voice baby voice better. Okay, let's see what our we sound like okay
[00:06:17] Here that was good getting my dick sucked in depression now Adam
[00:06:28] You're trying to simulate the baby voice to screw me on the
[00:06:39] Dude the idea of a god listening to good charlotte's kind of getting me a little bit, you know, he's coming back
[00:06:48] The bands the bands from when we were younger. Yeah, they're coming some of the bands
[00:06:54] What some of the bands from when we were younger are coming back
[00:07:05] I mean, that's really the kind of those kind of podcasts you should listen to absolutely
[00:07:10] It's to the dumbest people in the world being like, you know
[00:07:13] I didn't know what a Valera was until I was 27. Yeah, well that is kind of what our podcast is. Yeah, but yeah, but people are
[00:07:19] Irony true. Yeah, and people are listening to it. That's true. The beauty of that is that no one is listening. Yeah
[00:07:25] It's that it's that no for you know, I don't know what papa re is but it makes me think of like an Indian woman's vagina
[00:07:31] Hmm, that's you know, I perfume for an Indian woman
[00:07:36] That is too close that's too clever, you know, it's crazy
[00:07:39] I here's you want to know my theory is the reason VHS went away is because I never told us would VHS stands for
[00:07:46] That's true and DVD same thing blue ray. You know it stands for blue
[00:07:52] And the there's blue ray, that's why it's still around because it's had the same amount of time
[00:07:56] But nobody sure sure shit didn't know it VHS stands. Nope and then DVD you say okay disc video
[00:08:04] Video disc. Yep CD. You know it stands for music disc. Yep. No stands concert concert
[00:08:13] Because you're distributing concert music. No
[00:08:16] No, you're right. Well, that's why CDs went away. That's true
[00:08:20] Those people didn't know what they said for mp3 same thing music music playing three time purchasing
[00:08:27] Empirating there's three different ways you can get the music
[00:08:30] That's what mp3 stands for mm-hmm. I heard that yeah
[00:08:34] Well people don't listen to it now. They listen to iTunes and everybody knows it stands for iTunes. That is true
[00:08:41] What does that stand for nothing except the karan? No, I'm just playing I do some of my family does feel that way though
[00:08:54] Yeah, I have I sometimes I'll have candid conversations with my dad and he lets me know that he thinks the president
[00:09:04] Shouts out to fucking who's speaking about the most shots out to the fucking dirty birds the Ravens Lamar Jackson
[00:09:10] Soon to be crowned MVP fuck Tom Brady your bitch ass lost
[00:09:17] They've lost at home to the fucking number six seat Titans with Mike Rabel your old linebacker fucked your ass
[00:09:27] Fucking Festivus number two Ravens all the way baby. Are you going are you gonna go down to M&T?
[00:09:33] I'm going to the bank dude to the bank. I'm on the road. I'm actually kind of sad damn
[00:09:38] I literally would have gone my brothers went to see the paint when they beat the page from the regular season
[00:09:43] My brothers were at that game damn. That must have been so yeah
[00:09:46] That must have been lit dog. It was lit dude. I don't fucking appreciate your tone bitch. No, I'd like Lamar Jackson a lot
[00:09:53] He swag you whereas the sunglasses he wears sunglasses. He wears chains. He's the best quarterback
[00:10:03] Dude, it's about time we go back to Baltimore. Just trying to get on 98 rock
[00:10:07] Yeah, stop. Let's stop this. Let's stop all this sun's been coming into my apartment. That's been making me feel okay
[00:10:13] Yeah, sunlight is important. No, dude. We're getting a little too bad you and Glen Bernie and we're gonna be the fucking afternoon live together
[00:10:24] And we get the after you drive time shat shift
[00:10:27] You see those guys with like fucking Ben O'Brien was still living with his ex girlfriend
[00:10:31] He had those like house painters over yeah, those two guys are awesome
[00:10:35] That like fucking had the same haircut since high school and they were just boy
[00:10:40] Painted got drunk live together. They're four year old
[00:10:45] Those guys are rock hadn't even considered their life being a fucking failure in any way shape
[00:10:52] Just the fellas literally like fucking 1985 Mario and Luigi
[00:10:56] Yeah, that's stupid like mid-80s bowl haircut is awesome dude on old ass man
[00:11:12] Somewhere in Hamden probably just like the highlight of the week is going to carry okey to sports bar
[00:11:17] Yes try to get pussy room so fat like secretary dude. You remember Greg Bahanish. I don't great bandish is one of those guys
[00:11:25] He ran the open mic at like felicitas in Rockville. Oh, yeah, I never made it out there felicitas
[00:11:32] It was like and it was so funny because there was like no one at that bar
[00:11:36] It was this giant space above a parking garage
[00:11:38] Oh, good, and it was like an Italian restaurant
[00:11:41] But it was mostly the floor was like set up as like a dance hall
[00:11:43] Oh, yeah, and there was a bar and then they put like a couple of dining room table or like dinner tape
[00:11:48] You know tables restaurant tables at the end of the fucking
[00:11:52] The dance all floor, but they were doing open mic there in Greg Bahanish. Did you do you know who band?
[00:11:57] He's like just yeah, he's a good guy. That's like fucking probably graduated high school in 1980 or 1981 respect
[00:12:04] I was like this is the look brother. Oh, you've talked to me about this guy before yeah
[00:12:09] But you know he would host every week. Yep, they'll be like to nobody and then do the same jokes. He's like yeah
[00:12:15] I'm from Pittsburgh, but I'm actually from all over
[00:12:20] No, sorry. He's like my arms are from Pittsburgh. Oh, no my feeder from Iran
[00:12:28] You know, but he knew the jokes were bad. His goal was to be annoying. Yeah
[00:12:32] Yeah, you know, you give a shit. You're like Greg. This is fucking dog shit week after week. All right, man
[00:12:42] You like didn't care. Yeah, just drive around this fucking like 1986 Dodge Dynasty
[00:12:47] Dude the purest thing and then try to get pussy from like this
[00:12:50] And I remember one time we were all like smoking weed in the garage
[00:12:53] Me and him and another guy and he just like went and got his dick sucked like 20 feet away by like a 42 year old woman
[00:12:59] Just a bar he's like he didn't say anything. He just went over to his car got in and he got his dick
[00:13:13] I'm going back. What a good fuck this dude. I'm gonna try I'm gonna try show business two more years
[00:13:19] Mm-hmm, and then I'm running an open mic in Baltimore. I'm just getting top
[00:13:23] Yeah, getting bad quality top. I'm gonna try to get a job in the Buttigieg administration
[00:13:28] Yeah, on April fools. You are gay. Yeah, April
[00:13:32] I told I sent an email out that was like great. Hey everyone
[00:13:37] His family reached out to me and he had a combination of sleep apnea and lifelong
[00:13:43] Sleep apnea and lifelong alcoholism. He died in his sleep last night
[00:13:51] But like I was one of the only people that actually like really knew we're hung out with yeah
[00:13:55] And then all of these comics in DC were like I can't believe that they were like devastating
[00:14:04] Yeah, of course they would be mad at you. Yeah, they were like mad at me. I'm like it's a joke
[00:14:11] If no one thought oh, it's April fools. Yeah, well, you know, to be honest with you
[00:14:15] My thing was like I got to do April fools a couple days before that sure
[00:14:19] I would always do it around I couldn't wait
[00:14:22] It is funny how much you love April fools. I love April your little prankster this year
[00:14:27] I told guys that I wasn't doing the podcast. Yes, I was and I got mad at him. I was freaked out
[00:14:32] So I had him falling out dude. We're supposed to be friends. Can we talk about this?
[00:14:39] I wish we would have been able to have a conversation
[00:14:46] You have a great panist rock cuz he was like just like an 80s guy and then like
[00:14:52] You know, yeah, he was just like I would go with him and then this other guy that did karaoke
[00:14:57] Yeah, dude, and yeah, his whole life was like you ever one time he like came and came by and he was like like
[00:15:03] Like I started talking to my high school sweetheart on my space and guess what she's divorced
[00:15:13] Dude my space was a boon for those guys. Yeah, those guys those guys are going through the fucking divorced heap dude
[00:15:21] Like nobody's yeah, I guess what she's avoiding like a cabin in like deep Creek lakes
[00:15:25] They would just go up to the king. Yeah to fucking like drink beer and smoke weed
[00:15:30] Dude no joke everyone's like yeah, we're the high school bullies now. I'll tell you where they're happy
[00:15:37] Yeah, they're the ones that always went deep Creek like getting their dick sucked in a dodge dynasty
[00:15:42] Yeah, there's someone by a woman who's divorced
[00:15:45] Yes, a woman whose life was so much worse for the last 30 years what brother she's divorced
[00:15:53] And his day job was so funny he did like tape back up for Kaiser Permanente
[00:15:57] Yeah, like something like there's no way this is gonna be a job in it shouldn't be a job now
[00:16:02] Yeah, I do magnetic tape back up for a health care provider. Yeah
[00:16:06] Yeah, that's awesome dude. Yeah, and his job is just completely replaced with one USB stick
[00:16:16] Yeah, I'm gonna see if I can find his like videos because I don't want to make it clear to of any of the
[00:16:22] Fucking retards that listen to the show. Yes, I think this is like somebody you should bully
[00:16:26] It's not he's we like him more than you we like him more than it's not even close
[00:16:30] Yeah, this is not he's just because he's happy. Yeah, you aren't yeah
[00:16:35] And you never will be and we aren't either but but we have but thank you for paying us. Yeah, he had to say
[00:16:41] Public access show right. Thank you to the people who are paying
[00:16:46] Those people are here this public access show
[00:16:49] Oh hell yeah, dude. Yeah, this guy rocks
[00:17:01] So the bit is amen, I'm just listening to some tapes here and he's got duct tape on his ears
[00:17:05] Hey, man, I've just been listening to some tapes here
[00:17:21] You got it with that being the introduction once again my guest co-host Stevie Ray band
[00:17:28] I got something for this audience man these guys are sorority people and if this doesn't work because it's all
[00:17:48] We can bleep it he's like don't worry about and then Greg's like watch this and he just turns the camera goes fuck
[00:17:53] He's great dude. Did he write a book? Yeah, he wrote a book comedy comedy sickness
[00:18:01] I'm about to buy that. Yeah, dude. Greg ruled fuck. What's he up to these days? I don't know
[00:18:07] I mean like you know that I think I'd restaurant eventually closed down
[00:18:10] Mm-hmm, but yeah, he was a guy that just wanted to have a good time in the most basic way. Mm-hmm. Oh
[00:18:16] I'll tell you something on the back of this book. He does not look as good as he looked in that
[00:18:27] Yeah, I mean he's much older this is probably from 20 years ago. Yeah
[00:18:42] This is this collection of humor includes some of his best stand-up bits arranged into poetry form
[00:18:49] Yeah, hell yeah, dude everyone go out and buy comedy sickness on Amazon. Yeah, it's 1648
[00:18:58] We can buy it used for 598. That's not bad
[00:19:02] Very funny Joel Schubert of the Daily Sun not your average poetry book
[00:19:07] It's good David Plowman of the Arizona star. This bloke is crazy funny Edward Jenkins the English journals
[00:19:14] I mean that seems like he made all those the English journals
[00:19:22] There's a star is a real newspaper thing
[00:19:29] Cuz it rises every day and you start sucking it like the Sun
[00:19:33] Like you suck the sun's rays. That's how you suck my dick skin
[00:19:36] There's the Sun and then there's like the daily whatever. Mm-hmm, but I don't know if there's a daily Sun
[00:19:52] A man who has been in movies television radio live on stage and use papers and now an author
[00:19:57] He attended broadcasting. What a good guy
[00:20:01] Everyone go out and buy this. Let's make this a number one New York Times bestseller
[00:20:09] Documentary about the man with a square-shaped asshole
[00:20:15] You can also catch him singing indoor DJing at various karaoke bars
[00:20:22] Damn, I'm trying to get some fucking pussy pajanish style, dude
[00:20:27] Trying to hang out with my boy smoke week step out for a second to get top
[00:20:34] Dude honestly, it's like it's a dream. Yeah, yeah
[00:20:44] Fucking bajanish those dudes that were like I guess they're just like Gen X but like you know like yeah
[00:20:51] I don't know what you know like that somebody they just had a good time good ass time, but it's not attached anything the
[00:20:57] Absence of worries. What's awesome? Uh-huh? You just keep trucking keep trucking who gives a fuck?
[00:21:02] We'll figure it out right. Yeah, no, I just want to smoke weed and have my daily access prop comedy show
[00:21:13] Yeah, once we get a little too bedroom in Glen Burnie Steve we go to the mall
[00:21:18] What's that juggalo mall right there? I never should go to unglum Burnie
[00:21:25] Don't know fuck to a girlie station. You ever go to Marley station. Yeah, this is so funny dude
[00:21:31] Look at this. This is a account called crutches and spices
[00:21:35] And they wrote I guess it says type of ableist bullshit you have to deal with when using door dash
[00:21:40] And it's like them texting with their door dash drivers says hi. This is door dash
[00:21:44] I will be there in three minutes. I'll meet you in the lobby of building a thousand and it says I'm disabled
[00:21:49] And I need you to come to apartment blah blah blah
[00:21:51] They were like I cannot leave my car in a fire lane
[00:21:54] They're like I need you to come upstairs. I'm in pain and cannot go downstairs at the moment
[00:21:58] You should be fine drop it off with the front desk then and they said the food is at the front desk
[00:22:03] And it says maybe if you were unable to accommodate disabled people you should get another gig
[00:22:08] I was reporting this interaction to door dash. They're like I can't park illegally. I just said a 300
[00:22:17] I mean honestly though fuck that fuck that delivery driver for what what not parking in a fire lane
[00:22:25] Like I'm gonna see if you're gonna do this. I want to see her entire tipping history to every single door dash driver
[00:22:31] That's true if it's not at minimum five dollars at minimum for every single every single fucking order
[00:22:37] I tip fatly, but I will say in New York
[00:22:41] Everyone comes to your apartment. No, they don't do yeah, they do I fucking walk down the steps every
[00:22:46] Yeah, what yeah every time I walk down to the fucking steps the steps
[00:22:51] I don't have a problem. You have you brought it all the way to my house
[00:22:54] I'm not gonna fucking like make this guy on a fucking moped walk up the stairs to my apartment
[00:22:58] Yeah, but you don't have a you don't have a buzzer. Do you? I do have a buzzer, but they don't you don't buzz us in
[00:23:04] What's that? No, you have to you have a lock. Yeah, no, they don't even come up the outside steps
[00:23:10] Mmm. There they're down at the street level. Yeah. I usually have to meet them on the street
[00:23:15] Well, well, I can say you you couldn't buzz people up. I buzz people up like Seinfeld
[00:23:19] This is a comment this and drivers never wanting to wait for me longer than five minutes despite telling me that I'm a wheelchair user
[00:23:26] Or despite telling them that I'm a wheelchair user
[00:23:29] And I like that subtle use of wheelchair user rather than someone that needs a wheelchair
[00:23:34] Yeah, it's like well, they could be they could use a long a long board. They're like personally. I just like the wheel
[00:23:43] They could oh no, there's people that choose to be in a wheelchair, which is so funny
[00:23:47] What what do you mean? There's people that like can walk but would rather just be wheeled around in wheelchairs
[00:23:59] Like women with pain disorders. Yeah women people in pain. Yeah, Harvey Weinstein pain dude
[00:24:07] Whenever my dick isn't being sucked. I'm in existential pain. Yeah, so I there for air go
[00:24:11] I need one of those fucking Stephen Hawking wheelchairs air go man. That's a cool last word
[00:24:16] Thank you. Makes me think of going deep creek like
[00:24:22] Maybe they could air go to the polls. Oh, yeah
[00:24:26] Shouts out to um elizabeth Warren hitting the Dougie while iran
[00:24:31] Was bombing our base or act. Oh, yeah, shout out to you ron too. Yeah
[00:24:37] R. I. P. Sulemani did he was a big come boy. I heard he was he loved our shit, dude
[00:24:47] And then you know, well, I guess we're not going to war. I hope you're on tight
[00:24:53] Yeah, ron sick our friend our friend mr. Shums from there. Yeah, I'm is from there
[00:24:59] Um, this is ridiculous plus the cuisine is fucking awesome. I'm getting mad reading this
[00:25:04] Okay, go off people some people are being reasonable like hold the businesses accountable or whatever
[00:25:09] And then just some fat person or park legally and do your job
[00:25:13] Did he literally requires you to bring it to a person's store if you can't you're told to decline the order and take a different one
[00:25:20] It's like you so these people that work for like fucking below minimum wage with no benefits with no one
[00:25:26] No, there's no you're not going to know what's the situation that you're addressing so you get there
[00:25:30] Yeah, so they're supposed to take the order there find out they can't deliver it cancel and refund your order probably get fired
[00:25:37] No drop it off at the front. Yeah, but you so you never leave your apartment ever
[00:25:42] There's no way you can go to the fucking front desk. No, dude
[00:25:46] You ordered a service we start we need that we need to draft disabled people
[00:25:52] And send them to do it ron to do what exactly?
[00:25:58] Yeah, excuse me. I'm disabled just blowing their nose on a bunch of tapestry
[00:26:05] Yeah, it's a major like fucking right. It's shoving a genie lamp up the rest
[00:26:12] I I don't feel like a g-lam with mountain dew. I don't
[00:26:23] I'm disabled and if this is ableist for you to say that I can't wipe my ass on your
[00:26:30] Those rugs fucking rock my mom repairs those that was her job for years. Oh, they're awesome. It's below you right now
[00:26:36] But that's not real though. That's from my home depot. No, it's not max max. Yeah, really?
[00:26:42] It was really nice. It was free because someone cut it in half on the other side. Oh, it's like double the size of this damn trail
[00:26:48] Yeah, giant rug. Yeah, interesting. It's very nice
[00:26:57] Some's off with this. This is not I fuck kids. What's off with it? It's not I don't know
[00:27:03] It doesn't look hand-hand done to me hand done. Well, it's not a flat weave
[00:27:14] Were you were you the one who was who who spent his at some of his adolescence at micha's oriental rugs
[00:27:19] Michael's right gallery wouldn't use that name. That's what they're called
[00:27:23] I don't know about in the 90s. That's what they were called. Did you ever get brought to like antique shops by your mom?
[00:27:29] No, never antique never went to one. I remember like a handful of times and it was always like
[00:27:34] Driving somewhere like taking like going to New York, but like through PA like going like a weird way
[00:27:39] I have like like memories of like yeah, maybe there was one like probably get through lane casters and shit like that
[00:27:44] There was one I think there was like at some small town north of like Frederick or something that I went into like an antique shop
[00:27:50] One time when I was a kid and like it just creeped the fuck out of me. Oh, yeah, just old shit. Mm-hmm. You know, yeah, I mean
[00:27:58] We she never took us to that place, but she took us to like one of her friends
[00:28:02] Her boss at her boss's house was like that
[00:28:05] I remember one time we had to go visit and it was just like all old creepy shit
[00:28:11] Iranian man and his wife was like the most annoying Jewish lady I've ever met in my life
[00:28:15] And it was just like everything was antique. You couldn't touch anything a lot of creepy dolls
[00:28:19] Yeah, those houses suck and the furniture is never comfortable never comfortable. Yeah, it's all like yeah
[00:28:25] It's all those places suck. Yeah, give me bean bat nothing but bean bag chairs. Hell. Yeah, dude forte style. I want yeah, I want blankets
[00:28:33] Yeah, you know I'm saying I want fucking snuggies
[00:28:37] When you know when people sometimes make you take your shoes off in my house. You take your clothes off
[00:28:41] You put a snuggie on that's very nice. Well, it's because I'm afraid of germs
[00:28:45] It just looks like a fucking eyes wide. Yeah
[00:28:51] Everyone's I'm about to I'm about to have a fucking I'm about to have a I'm about to have a fucking household where you take your shoes off
[00:28:56] And put a little Korean fucking spa slippers. That's a really nice touch. It's an honestly if you're in a no-shoes house
[00:29:03] You should gotta have the Korean spot. Yeah for sure. Yeah
[00:29:08] And I'm gonna have wide by the way because I know what it's like to have to be given
[00:29:12] Complimentary footwear and it's not wide enough when a person literally can't get to where you left their food
[00:29:17] You have no right to expect empathy or a tip. I'm gonna find this person and kill them
[00:29:24] I can't you see it radically. I am not Twitter. You're fine. Do I'm gonna do it in in
[00:29:30] What do people say in Minecraft? Yeah, is that I don't know isn't that one of them?
[00:29:34] a way around it the way people who say in Minecraft or
[00:29:38] I would love to get into in a self-defense situation
[00:29:46] The fuck was I just about to say damn now I'm thinking about now you got me reminiscing about my time after school at michael's rock gallery, dude
[00:29:52] Yeah, there was a good as chinese spot right there. They're going they might be hot
[00:29:56] Uh-oh the decision. Yeah. Oh, no never mind
[00:30:09] Damn yeah, so there's a 7-eleven dude and sometimes I would get slushies and chinese food
[00:30:20] Suicide style and we became friends with the people that owned it the Korean family that owned it they had a very cute fat little daughter
[00:30:26] Sometimes they would just wouldn't even charge me for the slushies dude. Oh, I thought you were gonna say you used to hook up
[00:30:31] No, she was like a baby. Oh, okay. Yeah, dude. I thought you know they had a fat little kid your mom had a fat little kid
[00:30:39] Nah, we didn't fuck a treasure guys up in matching outfits
[00:30:46] That would actually be cute as hell. I would love that. We should all have kids around the same time
[00:30:52] So that they can all go out with each other. Yeah, dude
[00:30:55] My son's gonna fuck all your sons in the asses. Yeah, our sons could be gay together, but mine will win
[00:31:02] Mom will break your your son's hearts because his cock is gonna be good and big because it skips a generation
[00:31:08] I can't wait for my son to be living at his mother's house
[00:31:13] Yeah, that really is a dream. No joke. I would love to be a fucking just a dad that pops in every cool this and dad
[00:31:20] The real thing we can even hawking boyhood. Yep. Just have a sick car
[00:31:24] Yeah, I like that's like all of these social issues
[00:31:28] That fucking bled out of academia and like just like distilled into whatever the fuck social media became
[00:31:35] Or is now just at the level of customer service disputes and that's all they are. Yeah, it's literally just fucking
[00:31:43] No, I mean I get that it's like difficult to be disabled and like have to go down and get your food
[00:31:48] But they're like taking it out on the most vulnerable members
[00:31:50] I mean look I see what they're saying because if the fucking business if the business what they advertise is we get it right to your door
[00:31:57] And they don't send it and they don't do that. That's fucking annoying
[00:32:00] But at the same time you're like who are you mad at you're mad at a fucking minimum minimum wage like driver
[00:32:06] That's just happened to me. Yeah, and I've been mad and then I'm like, she's fucking who cares
[00:32:11] You know what I mean? You just go get your shit and you tip them extra because your life is better
[00:32:15] You know I'm saying you just got head after a road gig and you wanted some pizza
[00:32:20] Exactly. And what am I gonna be mad that they don't come into the hotel or am I just gonna pop outside?
[00:32:30] Her son is in the car. I feel bad now. Yeah, he had to wait
[00:32:33] Which is something that literally happened to me one time a door-dish lady had her like I was mad because she like took forever
[00:32:38] And like wouldn't drop the shit. Oh, I thought the lady that was giving you the blowjob had her son
[00:32:48] No, that's never happened to me just some chick coming over. I think I've only fucked one mom in my life. Mm-hmm. Have you how many of you?
[00:32:59] I didn't I wasn't trying to set you up. I was asking Nick. I was asking Nick that question Nick
[00:33:41] Damn I can't wait to honestly I know it's bad for a kid but being like a distant father seems cool
[00:33:48] Oh, yeah, go in a laser tag and get an ice cream sundae's and shit. Mm-hmm talking shit about mom
[00:33:53] So none of us will be fathers and we'll die alone. Yeah
[00:33:56] No, no, I don't know man. I think I could see myself being a bad father. No, you're gonna have a heart attack in a couple years
[00:34:02] I'm gonna overdose and Adam's gonna like
[00:34:05] I don't know discover some weird inheritance from some vampire uncle. Yep. I wish
[00:34:12] Yeah, no, you'll find you'll just like fall into some kind of money
[00:34:18] No, I think I would probably have a family but not leave them in the right
[00:34:22] Right when I do die early not leave them in the right situation
[00:34:27] That would be nice man. Take take from everyone not give back. I just want to die my owl sanctuary
[00:34:35] It'll happen to him move to Montana and have a little owl sanctuary. It'll happen. Do you want now? It's Montana. Yeah, shit
[00:34:41] When I first met you you were talking about Montana. Oh, yeah, that's that's a motif. That was a taxidermy school. Yeah, tax
[00:34:47] No, it was Montana. He was gonna go to taxidermy school. I think Alaska phase. That was brief. That was recent
[00:34:54] He and that was more about that was more about property taxes. Yeah, don't you get paid for living there too because of the oil revenues? Yeah, really? Yeah
[00:35:04] Do you get head from Alaska's about to fucking be very
[00:35:11] There's a book about that Jewish Alaska the Yiddish policemen
[00:35:23] Oh, yeah, we've talked about this before I listened to I think the author was on fresh air
[00:35:28] Michael Chabon and I listened to the interview, but I'll never read about ice switch out ice switch
[00:35:34] Mike asked what it's called. Yeah, I think it was pretty cold now. It's right. Yeah. No, it's very comfortable
[00:35:44] It's just like a we're very thick a motel six. I don't think I really don't think that
[00:35:48] Oh, you mean like it's a development? No, no, I mean at the time it was a super eight or whatever and then afterwards like
[00:36:01] I have to say it Auschwitz the service was terrible. Yeah, I believe that
[00:36:05] Yeah, you know you would ring a bell and nobody would show up
[00:36:11] Damn what movie did I just watch where somebody
[00:36:14] Talked about being an Auschwitz and got it
[00:36:17] Oh, it's that Paul Rudd show where he's it's like his twin or something. Oh, yeah, there's a clone or something
[00:36:22] My cousin was watching that when he was in yeah, it looks fucking annoying and stupid honestly. He liked it a lot
[00:36:27] But yeah, I tell him to suck my fucking dick
[00:36:31] Oh, he did erase my memory card and my ps1 dude. That's don't bring it up
[00:36:37] That is which game tony hog pro skater. I brought it up on the show before I got heated every time I
[00:36:45] When my franchise mode on mad and we get saved over I would be fucking pissed dude
[00:36:49] Unbelievable all the work you put all the work
[00:36:54] All the not getting pussy in high school to play franchise mode on mad
[00:37:02] I never I didn't even like playing the actual games that much dude. You like the front. I was a front office guy
[00:37:09] You know checking out the rookies the promising young rookies about
[00:37:17] Sorry, I thought I had to say something
[00:37:21] Yes being gotten trouble because they had like a like a slave auction
[00:37:25] Right for what yeah, they like it wasn't like an
[00:37:30] It wasn't like a slave they held an auction maybe it was for fantasy football for the draft or something
[00:37:36] Uh-huh and then they were like no, this is like you're auctioning off
[00:37:40] That's how people play fantasy football those you auction players on I guess it is kind of like
[00:37:44] These are these the fucking I mean the what is the fuck the combine is fucked up
[00:37:50] These motherfuckers are naked. They're like measuring their bodies and shit
[00:37:53] And they're asking them like to get completely naked
[00:37:56] They make you sit on one of those bicycles with the dildo in it
[00:37:59] Fast as you can while they measure your heart rate. Yep, exactly. They're like, uh, he's gay
[00:38:08] He's too gay his heart isn't beating fast enough. He's enjoying it too much. We can tell he's like he's smiling too relaxed
[00:38:16] Yeah, then they have like interviews with the where they play mind games. They fuck with you
[00:38:20] Yeah, this fucked up like they doesn't have the leadership qualities
[00:38:23] Yeah, like who they tell who's the guy that they were like I think that's Brian. They're like, okay
[00:38:28] No, they're your mom's a whore. They called their his mom a prostitute
[00:38:31] It's like yeah, you should swing on somebody that says that's it in a professional setting
[00:38:36] Imagine if he was like I heard your mom's a fucking slut to the gm. They'd be like
[00:38:42] He's unacceptable. He doesn't have the leadership qualities to play the quarterback position. Yeah, how about the beat off or shit qualities?
[00:38:54] I have some serious beat off or ship qualities. I'm being cooked by the light. Yeah, you're pretty you're pretty
[00:39:00] Getting me sucked off by my mouth. It's putting me into the zone
[00:39:07] Fucking your ass feel like I just always have heartburn now. It just never goes away. Yeah, it's part of your well
[00:39:12] We did have a pretty greasy diner breakfast. You had a greasy-ass diner burger
[00:39:18] Have you been yeah, yeah, that'll do that'll do it. Yeah. Oh my god. That'll do it. She saw the Richard Jewel movie
[00:39:27] Oh, yeah, it looks uh stupid. It was good possibly gay
[00:39:32] That is a good point when Nick just said and I actually sort of think you would really like to do
[00:39:40] You would really like a nick because it's like one of the most anti-cop movies i've ever seen
[00:39:45] Oh, really from Clint Eastwood. You know me punk rock
[00:39:48] Yeah, nake is nake is sticking poking a cab onto his fucking
[00:39:53] Tits right now. I hate I just hate authority
[00:39:56] And now that's cops and the people the cops hate well, not really the cops don't know probably disabled people
[00:40:03] I can't bet you disabled people have too much authority. That's what i'm. That's true
[00:40:07] They control all the parking spaces. They boss people around yup
[00:40:14] Yeah, dude. I want that spot. I'm trying to go to buffalo wall wings. I'm not trying to fucking walk too much
[00:40:18] You fucking assholes. Yeah, how about that?
[00:40:22] Because honestly dude I get to white marshmull and i'm trying to watch UFC and eat buffalo wall wings
[00:40:27] The one the spot is for expecting mothers too is bullshit because it's like that's like that's a spot
[00:40:32] Yeah, this is where the this one's for expecting mothers and it's like that's you had you didn't what sucks about childbirth is squeezing the fucking thing out of your pussy
[00:40:41] Sure, I think carrying a child pro. No, it's so
[00:40:44] Literally is fucking the same as being fat. Thank you
[00:40:48] That's what i'm so different than being fat. Thank you in fact if you throw up and shit a woman's body
[00:40:53] I throw up a lot my I get stuff when I a whole fucking thing abandoned jerry's at 3 a.m
[00:40:59] I wake up and I have a fucked up stomach and I have diarrhea. Yeah, okay, and they did it to themselves
[00:41:05] As I did. Yeah, it's we have a lot in common pregnant women in fact
[00:41:08] You know what disabled people parking spots gone mothers parking spots gone fat people only the dude
[00:41:16] Fat dudes only they get up front. Thank you fat women
[00:41:20] You better get yourself pregnant bitch. That's right because we took their spots
[00:41:24] Well, how about this if you're if you're fat before you got pregnant because then you're double fat then you're double fat
[00:41:29] So then you get a spot and you have to deal with yeah, but you're most equipped being a man
[00:41:33] Carrier talk is you be carrying all that with deal exactly. They know what niggas saying is right
[00:41:38] But okay, this is the baby is like a cock and wave society doesn't treat them
[00:41:45] Society trouble fat women and fat men get spots pregnant men get parking spots
[00:41:51] Pregnant how much would it cost to get me on the stage of the next debate?
[00:41:56] We'd have to get a certain amount of dough. Who's that guy's hoyer? Yeah, we we have another
[00:42:03] Is a team and it's nikin stuff who share a two-bedroom apartment
[00:42:20] And I remember I was like, it's not that bad
[00:42:22] It's like the butt of the joke the way like dondog and shit is but it's like, you know what dude
[00:42:28] Glenburne is not as bad or if glenburne is worse than dondog because it's not as bad as dondog
[00:42:32] Exactly. Dundalk is like gets to be it's like the one of those places. It's like Dundalk Columbia
[00:42:38] Yeah, they think it's their suburb. Yeah, you know what I mean? It's like this is nice
[00:42:42] Well, Dundalk gets to be that place is like this is just this retarded white trash
[00:42:46] Yeah, kind of like ridiculous shit hole. Yep, whereas glenburne is like that, but also they got a bunch of panellas
[00:42:53] Exactly. Yeah, you know what? You know what Dundalk has is is charming local businesses like Jamie's famous seafood like a Chinese restaurant
[00:43:00] That used to be a paint store exactly there literally is one of those
[00:43:04] Uh, there's that weird squires pizza. That's like this old ass like everyone says it's good ass pizza and it sucks dick. Yeah, that's good
[00:43:14] Uh, that's you know, that's pretty much I'm kind of topping it
[00:43:17] Oh, there's the diner that my dentist owns that one time when my brother was getting a fucking teeth cleaning
[00:43:24] Uh, someone came in whispered in his ear that there was a
[00:43:27] A gas that was making people sick in the diner and he stopped cleaning my brother's teeth and ran away to fix it
[00:43:34] I believe it's called the bull. I want I won't say what it's called for legal reasons, but
[00:43:40] You know that exists the pop eyes that my mother would take us to
[00:43:44] Uh after we sat in the library while she did errands and you know did Carmen san diego and didn't read a book
[00:43:51] And then also rented mystery men. Yeah, there's that I've re-watch that recently. It's good
[00:43:58] Pee wee Herman's return I believe after the
[00:44:02] How much pussy do you think pee wee Herman got was he gay
[00:44:06] Paul Rubens no, they got called masturbating in a porn theater. Oh, was it gay porn? No, that's like bullshit, right?
[00:44:12] Doesn't everyone masturbating a porn theater? Is that the point just you? No
[00:44:18] I told you guys about that place in my head if the audience finds out that you go to gay porn theaters and masturbate because I won't tell them
[00:44:29] I beeped I beeped all that yeah, we beeped the stuff about saying that you go to gay porn theater
[00:44:36] You're like I'm worried the audience is gonna find out that I'm a pedophile. So if you could just keep that on the down
[00:44:42] And we have we've never hold on beep it out
[00:44:44] That's just we've never brought it up and we've always lied to the cops for you
[00:44:49] We've always lied and they have come to our house. That's why I don't like the cops
[00:44:52] That's why you had to say you're you hate the cops because you're implying that you're reminding yourself that I'm a good friend
[00:44:58] Yeah, I was a big blue lives matter guy until they started trying to get you for fucking children
[00:45:03] Which you do all the time having sex with him. You're like looks first of all
[00:45:07] There's a difference between a phoeba philia and pedophilia and I am a and I'm both
[00:45:15] I want to be the guy that's like making that distinction. They're like I fuck six-year-olds. Yeah, yeah, okay
[00:45:21] There's got to be a difference between pedo. There's got to be multiple ones
[00:45:25] Yeah, there's probably baby guys you fuck babies
[00:45:27] Even the in the baby fucking community. There's the guys that are like the infant isn't dead guys
[00:45:36] It's not like we are first of all it is mostly a servicing relationship
[00:45:40] We do a lot to the infant and not in them. We suck the baby's balls
[00:45:50] Imagine being a cop having to investigate stuff like that
[00:45:52] And you just have to like fucking talk respectfully to somebody that you've arrested for sucking a baby's balls
[00:45:59] Jagged his little saw penis and they're like, it's okay. Mike. Yeah, your lawyers that are being in a minute
[00:46:04] Obviously you don't have to talk to us, but you need a coffee or anything
[00:46:09] And it's like your job to gather evidence that job has to be traumatic
[00:46:13] You have to it sucks. Yeah, and it's funny because there's there's people that do that
[00:46:17] I have a friend who works in in the use in Montgomery County cops will kill themselves and then people like probably because he felt guilty about all the
[00:46:25] Black men he killed and it's like or you know, just having to look at child pornography as a job
[00:46:31] Not to be sympathetic to police officers
[00:46:33] I mean they deserve to die for the sure the killing the ones that aren't
[00:46:39] But the reason they did it is is often a reason of humanity
[00:46:42] Yeah, and thank you for joining us on the 700 club. That's right. That's true
[00:46:49] I wish for the 700 club had the same theme song as curb your enthusiasm. Yeah, I'm pat Robertson
[00:46:55] There's starving children in Africa and they deserve to be that way because they're gay
[00:46:59] You know it's called that because yeah, uh, jesus dick was 700 inches
[00:47:12] Now that one deserves the guitar riff dude
[00:47:23] What I still have that electric guitar. We bought a guitar center. You bought you haggled
[00:47:27] Well, we bought him Nick and I were together trying to sell it using no, I'm saying we can jam dude
[00:47:35] I tried to jam. I tried to learn how to play guitar when I was in like ninth grade. I think
[00:47:43] And my teacher was this blonde guy that that wore a shirt that said m yp d biggest street gang in the world
[00:47:51] Cool and I saw that I was like damn. Hell yeah
[00:47:53] Yeah, nice brother milkshakes brother. It was pre milkshakes dude. I know
[00:48:07] Fascist that will show if there's one thing I can't stand it's fascist
[00:48:15] Around on my bike and get mad at fashion fascism
[00:48:17] Damn, I would love a milkshake and then a little nap. I don't want to go to therapy, dude
[00:48:23] I haven't gone to therapy in four weeks and the holidays have been so much. I got so much to fucking unload on my man right now
[00:48:33] I don't know. I can feel like he wants to hug sometimes. Yeah, what about instead of like a massage problem?
[00:48:41] Backed off at the end. I think I said kind of trust you get more bad nice and some guy was like leaving her office in the
[00:48:50] I get in there. I was like who the fuck was that. Yeah, what the fuck did she was laughing?
[00:48:54] You're seeing other guys like no, what the fuck is this, you know, she's like laughing
[00:48:59] And then I was like, what if I just continued this bit the entire time
[00:49:03] She's gonna stop me and be like your problem is that you turn everything
[00:49:06] No, I wouldn't say that's your issue. Yeah, no
[00:49:16] Yep, absolutely not Adam. I'm gonna return back. I want to circle back to what you were saying about
[00:49:21] What if you just get jacked off at the end of your session? It'd be nice
[00:49:26] My dad did this and you know, I'm now so scared from that and then you get jacked off
[00:49:33] Oh, whatever or do they bring someone in just a technician? No, it would have to be the same person
[00:49:42] Because in my it honestly to be a guy myself to be honest with you because I see a guy
[00:49:47] I don't really want to get I don't want to get jacked off by my guy me neither
[00:49:55] Tits would be weird to go see a therapist. It's like a tiny Asian woman
[00:49:58] Dude my therapist and fucking in Baltimore was hot. I'm like fuck. Yeah, you've been doing good job
[00:50:03] But don't you feel like you can't really be honest. Good job. You do a good job on your your brain
[00:50:09] Do they have talked therapy? Dude you need to do that. That's how that's what's gonna lock you. Yeah, you fuck you fucking
[00:50:16] Get get to your Chinese roots. Yeah, you know I'm saying they have talked therapy in china
[00:50:20] Just a Chinese guy sitting down. He's like, yeah, I feel bad
[00:50:23] And somebody being like, yeah stop don't don't feel bad. He's like, okay. I'm sure they do. Okay. Good job
[00:50:37] I think they probably do it's probably exactly like yeah, I think it's a little different than that, but it's probably just like that
[00:50:46] Uh, no, hold on. I mean, you say I'm sure they do. I don't know if they do. I do no do not know if they have therapists in china
[00:50:54] I think it might be a western thing. It's very much a western. It sounds like no come on
[00:50:58] They got therapy. What the fuck they didn't have therapy here until like the fucking 70s. Yeah, but do they have other kinds of doctors in china?
[00:51:05] Yes, yeah, but the I mean it's like that's also that doesn't mean that like
[00:51:09] This the idea that everyone should be in fucking therapy and there's something fundamentally
[00:51:13] I'm not saying it's in the fucking western ash china. I'm saying in the big-ass cities
[00:51:18] Isn't a doctor. I think he's yeah most aren't doctors. Yeah, most aren't doctors
[00:51:24] Yeah, but it's kind of they have acupuncture and this is like oh, yeah, they probably do have a you know what you're right
[00:51:29] They probably go to acupuncture. This is like a bunch of Chinese guys on a podcast and like do you think they have?
[00:51:35] Fucking like that's a great point actually. They're like do they have acupuncture in china in america?
[00:51:39] Probably the same way we have a function. It's kind of a niche thing
[00:51:48] Don't they have other kind doctor and their fat like the fat Chinese I would be right by the way other Chinese guys like yeah
[00:51:55] But I bet the way america and have acupuncture is real soft like feather
[00:52:00] You go all I put you with feather. Do you feel better baby or do you have to go talk to mind doctor?
[00:52:05] Because you baby they're upset about capita reason
[00:52:11] Even though you live a very comfortable life in your baby world
[00:52:15] You want to come to china to be to be real communist
[00:52:20] Because you're not getting enough money making $90,000 freelancing listicles
[00:52:27] In your new york apartment look i'm not saying it's a thriving fucking booming aspis probably in hunk calling they have it right?
[00:52:35] But I bet you you know starish. It's getting look up a talk therapist and I just googled it talk therapy therapy in china
[00:52:43] No, no, i'm gonna find the town that's somewhere in the middle between talk therapy
[00:52:52] The demand for psychotherapies in china jing jang. Thank you
[00:52:55] You ching chong zhub jang that sounds like a city in china and let's see zero results
[00:53:05] Actually, I believe i've been vindicated. Yeah, well that well no no no you haven't
[00:53:10] Because they're they've been unable to meet the man because in 2013 there was a law that went into effect
[00:53:16] That restricted the ability of psychologists and made my child offer a psychophistic. Thank you. No, I was right
[00:53:22] They need and they have it. Yeah, but the fucking government you is stopping the beautiful free market. Thank you
[00:53:36] It's not racist. It's just a different culture. I know I mean
[00:53:39] I don't even think they have that much therapy in greece. Yeah
[00:53:44] Fuck yeah, I mean wherever they got juice. They got therapy. Yeah, they only have psychotherapy in hospitals in china
[00:53:50] Yeah, that's what it says and that's the thing it's like when psychotherapy was invented
[00:53:54] Like fucking like it was to deal with like people with like like the rosies
[00:53:59] Like fuck people with like a stutter or people who like can't stop masturbating in public
[00:54:03] It's not like you wouldn't go to like to see a psychoanalyst and being like, yeah, I got broken up with
[00:54:10] And it'd be like yeah, but they're fucking eat their wives when they when that shit started
[00:54:16] Checkmate. No checkmate brother. You've never even played chess. I have I've though. I was talking about checkers. Yeah king me
[00:54:25] Okay, that's not you winning the game king me double triple king me. That's fine. I still have gotten all of your pieces
[00:54:31] I'm not the king bitch. Yep. I have that I just said the king got one
[00:54:35] You got one piece to the end of the board meanwhile. What are you looking at your whole back wall is filled
[00:54:39] Crowns. Yeah, but I'm gonna come back with my new king powers and get your whole shit. Fuck your whole shit up
[00:54:44] It's physically impossible. I've never put I don't know how check
[00:54:50] That's because I'm playing Chinese check
[00:55:09] Because it is too small and my balls are too
[00:55:26] My penis that song is by a blind guy. Oh, he's never seen his penis. Yeah. Yeah
[00:55:58] Even though I haven't seen it. I know that it's more
[00:56:09] I would love to go to Naples and to listen to that song.
[00:56:16] Oh yeah, her and what's your phrase went to row?
[00:56:21] Didn't row get her fucking pussy worked over in Paris?
[00:56:30] I've actually slowly been rewatching this.
[00:56:32] I mean, I'm constantly just watching this.
[00:56:36] When is the fucking like Kevin Finnerdy?
[00:56:42] Yeah, I, in my mind, it was like way earlier in the show.
[00:56:45] People were going crazy at the time because they were like,
[00:56:47] the show's almost gonna be over in there in this like dream state.
[00:56:50] He gets shot at the end of season six A.
[00:56:55] And people are like, what the fuck is this shit?
[00:56:59] I want him to whack some fucking movie.
[00:57:12] Do throw a little effect on that, dude.
[00:57:36] I can't fuck anyone with my smallest little fucking dick.
[00:59:16] This show sucks, we're gonna kill ourselves
[00:59:53] And ever since then it's just been delaying
[01:00:01] I just wish we could have had a conversation
[01:00:15] I'm not gay right now, I'm leaving my history
[01:00:20] Dude I felt like I was really singing over there for a while
[01:00:25] I gotta say, let's turn this into a singing podcast
[01:00:34] And then we can really develop our singing voice
[01:00:40] We just sincerely made this singing practice and people could listen to us
[01:00:45] No, you know Steve Martin did a banjo album. Yeah, it's like for two years the podcast is just just us learning how to yeah
[01:00:53] Yeah, but then songs that suck. Yes, you know, of course. Yeah, it wouldn't be like funny
[01:00:58] It would be like real sincere songs are trying to do it's 12 o'clock in its
[01:01:06] You're listening to the silver chairpot. I know you hate me, but I'll ask
[01:01:21] Let's do hilarities again, but just sing yeah, I went to an improv show
[01:01:26] Don't come with me and fuck me in my house
[01:01:32] But man, my boy and I young the first act
[01:01:43] Fuck my eyes in the fast. I lean we are can't wait to get fucking my ass
[01:02:18] What's really what's for sale my ass is for sale
[01:02:32] Well, you know they do like these the best lyrics of anything. Mm-hmm. I smell hard-ass pain
[01:03:01] All of the gay sex that I left behind on a lesson road
[01:03:11] Yeah, let's take a look at yeah, just take a look. Let's go. We'll just go ahead and look here on Google. Just take a look
[01:03:20] Getting sucked off now. What song is I mean? We have to guess the song. Okay, and I
[01:03:36] Is that queen's right small as shit, I don't know what's that queen's original no, it's a song
[01:03:43] But I don't remember what it is that Queen's right song silent lucidity and I know
[01:03:48] And I have never sucked it. I don't know the actual songs
[01:03:57] This is a great game to play with a guy that doesn't know this I can't tell you whether I don't know what song
[01:04:02] You were doing earlier and what the ointment shit flop Vaseline by stone temple
[01:04:07] I have no idea. I've never heard that so I was in the vast
[01:04:11] But I was vibing I'll tell you that much
[01:04:14] You know you know this I got one I got one
[01:04:18] So come a dick cuz I'm gay and suck my penis
[01:04:21] I am my fucking penis. I am getting I suck my penis my dick is fucking little and I want to suck your penis. Hey suck my penis
[01:04:32] This is bad. Okay, it's just familiar. I mean I was vibing don't get me wrong
[01:04:38] Hey come on Scott. Oh, yeah, oh, this is good at song
[01:05:09] Although I gotta say I like our version better. Yeah, yeah, you're a little kiss and fuck me in my home
[01:05:24] Boy, oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. What about what about um, how about falling gay with Michael Douglas, huh? Oh?
[01:05:30] Oh, just the movie. Yeah falling down. Yeah, but he's had enough you call this a cheeseburger
[01:05:50] Was wondering if there's a place to have gay sex is there a place to have gay sex around
[01:05:55] Place to have gay sex in the bathroom. Yeah
[01:06:00] Like falling gay yeah, I'm sorry wasn't there wasn't there some idea of customer service
[01:06:07] That you could have gay sex you could be paid for having gay sex
[01:06:11] You know someone used to come out and have gay sex with the customer
[01:06:14] In my day you came to a JC pennies for a new suit they sucked your cock and this song you were doing
[01:06:45] Did live with this like fucking white trash couple that it was like I forget the guy's name
[01:06:50] But he'd been in prison for four years and as soon as you met him he would be like yeah
[01:06:54] How you doing? He seems like Glenn or something. He was a bricklayer. Mm-hmm. He had this fat bitch girlfriend Terry
[01:07:00] Go on to that you bet bitch Terry was just a pig
[01:07:09] I mean I told the story before but yeah one time I came in and they were watching like fucking
[01:07:14] Watching queen right Queens right gone like Comcast music to
[01:07:20] Like Comcast music channel and just she just had her eyes closed and was like shaking her head back
[01:07:26] Just vibing. Yeah getting really into Queens right?
[01:07:31] Yeah, and then he was like you know doing that like standing like full body. Yes, you know rhythmic fucking yeah
[01:07:42] Respect yeah, that's a nice little afternoon
[01:07:44] I got glam was so funny man cuz I would smoke weed with him in the garage
[01:07:51] Hell yeah, dude. I spoke we with him in the garage. He's like yeah, you know, I mean
[01:07:55] I just did four years in prison, but I like talking about it. I was like this look cool. You don't have to any like
[01:08:04] God fucking started some shit at a bar and I fucked his ass up
[01:08:10] They went to jail for that long. It's like you don't have to you don't have to talk. You really it's cool, man
[01:08:14] I don't in fact that kind of prefer if he didn't actually yeah
[01:08:17] I didn't see him for a while and they're like nobody saw him for a while and then my like what my other roommate like
[01:08:21] It's like yeah, I saw Glenn and I guess he had a my he like shows up at the bar
[01:08:25] They worked at a bar and he's just got like claw marks all over his face
[01:08:38] And you got it I could tag by the Revenant
[01:08:49] Before having disgusting like guy who was in jail now as a fat girlfriend
[01:08:56] You have to know when this song dropped you'll wait till the drop and you'll know you just imagine these people oh my god
[01:09:09] Sounds like sapphark one of the worst song
[01:09:35] They look into each other's eyes no not even they did they never looked at each other eyes
[01:09:39] Just fabulous just like with the whole course light in the fucking koozie just like just jam head back and forth
[01:09:45] He's like fucking like looking like he's about to whatever that throw up work standing work. Yeah
[01:09:50] Yeah, that's a fucking good ass song respect to them
[01:10:00] It has a just begun I fucking think about that shit all the time
[01:10:06] I'm sure I talked about this guy before but yeah, there was one time where he's like fucking yeah, man
[01:10:10] I want to show you some of the tattoos that came up with in jail and he brings me into his room
[01:10:14] And he opens a shoe box and it's literally I was like oh these are drawings. These aren't tattoos
[01:10:19] Yeah, these are things you've drawn like hey, no their tattoos
[01:10:22] Yeah, and what they it was like it was great. It was like a skull in a top hat with flames
[01:10:35] And he's like just looking down and going through him and he's like I'm gonna show these to my son one day
[01:10:43] All right p to him I assume he's dead. Yeah, I don't know he's probably back in jail
[01:10:47] Oh, he's like one of those guys who always talk about how fun Austin was in the 90s
[01:10:52] You know, oh yeah, so the way he describes fun is like, you know
[01:10:56] Just doing blow every night going out to bars and it's like you know, you can still do that
[01:11:00] Yeah, all of that is nothing totally pop you can fucking go back to like del valley, Texas and do that there. Yeah
[01:11:11] Yeah, there's gray on stations to get into arguments that in every city in this country
[01:11:26] I should have ordered those pancakes you got pancakes for the table dude
[01:11:29] And I respected that move and it was delicious. I just want my boys to have a sweetie dream. I'm sleepy
[01:11:35] I listen folks, please come see if you want someone to sing gay
[01:11:41] I actually won't be singing gay song go on stage. I'll be your stand-up comedy
[01:11:44] But please come see me this month in Tampa on the 26th Milwaukee the 29th
[01:11:51] Appleton the 30th shy town 31st and the first and then I'm in Rhode Island
[01:11:58] The weekend of the 6th through the eighth Dallas 13th through the 15th Valentine's Day
[01:12:05] DC the 20th through the 22nd then I'm in fucking
[01:12:15] And some other shit, but yeah, go to stavey.biz for all that shit go to my Twitter go to my Instagram
[01:12:21] I'm coming to those cities and come to fat Tuesdays every Tuesday at the stand and we've got a hot
[01:12:26] Funny mom's coming back after our holiday break right Adam. Yeah, it's gonna be hot and
[01:12:31] And go to Nick you're gonna be places right? I don't know if that shit's all up
[01:12:37] Okay, but soon Nick will also be around mm-hmm
[01:12:40] So by taking to see your favorite little fuck boys in Australia in April and then Australia at some point in April
[01:12:46] We're coming I think if it's even still around as a country. Yeah, let's just get it
[01:12:51] That's too. That's hell though. That is some Queens Reich type
[01:13:04] I don't even know what the line is before that but there's no way it's anything cool that warrants or has it just
[01:13:09] I think the dream is over if I recall correctly the dream is over or has it just bigger has it just begun?
[01:13:15] That that would be cool. If you think the dream is over you're like fuck my cool dreams over. Yeah, it's a bad
[01:13:21] The star race or has it just be guys I get it dude. I understand the impulse to want it to have just because yeah
[01:13:27] We're gonna put on some Queens Rock head up to deep Creek Lake good our dick suck
[01:13:32] That's a man that lives by the way has it just become code
[01:13:35] Yeah, yeah, all right goodbye comedy madness from Greg vanish on Amazon the final plug