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Ep. 19 - Rape Science

Cum Town | Regular | 09/29/2016

[00:00:00] selectworkers,
[00:00:26] a
[00:00:29] Hello everyone welcome to another edition of your favorite podcast come out. Hey there you go dude
[00:00:35] That's is that your first intro? I think so. I think I tried it once that I got Adam on the ones and twos
[00:00:41] That's uh, I like the idea of a guy that doesn't know what ones and twos means what doesn't mean
[00:00:46] It means like the turntables. Yeah sure table one uncertainty. Oh man. I'd be sure just not told them then stop could have been that guy
[00:00:53] Oh, he was that was my kid. Oh man. Can I be honest that was my love?
[00:00:57] I love guys that say things wrong when I worked a game stop. I worked a game stop as a seasonal employee
[00:01:03] Uh-huh and then the manager there was this guy build it was fine. That was your career. It's fine. What's that? We get it seasonal
[00:01:09] Okay, that's one of your credits like on a stand-up lineup. Yeah
[00:01:15] Seize little boy
[00:01:17] I won't tell the story. No, this story is funny. Game club is a funny place. Yeah, I'm sure the story is gonna be funny
[00:01:23] You're a good story teller. Thanks
[00:01:26] I'm feeling bad about myself lately. No, I tell the story. I bought shorts and they don't have pockets and
[00:01:32] Make me look like a five-year-old
[00:01:34] These are my good shorts, but they're ruined. Those are your good shorts. Yeah
[00:01:40] Stupid as shit and someone's not shorts weather anymore
[00:01:42] They're not your good shorts. Those are just the shorts you always wear that doesn't make them good
[00:01:50] Yeah, they have I see like they look four holes in the front
[00:01:53] They're black they were black, but they're like bronze somehow your shorts are like brown now
[00:01:58] Yeah, I was that a rust on shorts. I was cotton rusted from working from working from working man. Yeah, I'm working hard
[00:02:07] Well, they're gay working hard hardly working. So anyways, I was a game stop working there. Yeah when I worked there and
[00:02:13] The manager bill was this retard that and I mean it wasn't like actual retard. I mean, he's a fucking idiot. Yeah
[00:02:23] He was retarded
[00:02:25] he
[00:02:27] Sorry the cat is kingdom hearts the cat
[00:02:30] Yeah, yeah, sorry
[00:02:32] The cats chewing a dead mouse in the living room. I thought this cat man. Actually, that's a cool cat
[00:02:38] No, there's no cool cat now. It's like batting it with its hand and it doesn't understand that it's dead
[00:02:44] It's like Lenny. It's pulling a Lenny right now
[00:02:48] If we get up close to it, it'll put the mouse back in its mouth. Yeah
[00:02:53] All right, so as we're gonna game stop I can't have the podcast to rail this quickly. Absolutely not
[00:02:58] This is not the I already decided the other episode is gonna be the bonus episode
[00:03:01] So this one's got to be good or it's called the it's called the n-word threshold
[00:03:06] Okay, if the n-bombs are dropped it becomes premium
[00:03:10] Which people said yeah gonna happen
[00:03:14] Do we say the n-word on the buzz one I told that story about my dad with the Australian guy
[00:03:21] Which I had to say it. I mean yeah, you had to it was a story so funny. Yeah guys
[00:03:25] That's premium though. You bitch ass motherfuckers who don't have that won't ever find yeah
[00:03:30] You're not gonna hear that great story about that Australian guy
[00:03:33] Using the n-word
[00:03:37] So yeah when I worked at GameStop the manager was this guy Bill who did I already tell the story or no?
[00:03:42] I don't think so. Oh man. So Bill. Yeah, Bill would just hear people say things and then repeat them like the big
[00:03:48] Lobowski without understanding what they meant and like one time he was like
[00:03:52] Yeah, I'm planning on I want to put these games here, but then forte these other games above
[00:04:01] What the fuck
[00:04:03] He's like you just guessed completely
[00:04:07] Yeah, it's pretty good forte it yeah
[00:04:10] Yeah, one time he was like
[00:04:13] He was using the word preface wrong look a bunch
[00:04:16] Keep saying preface incorrectly one time. He just shit his pants
[00:04:19] I know that I was gonna ask you about every member you told me that story would happen for that again. He fucking I
[00:04:25] Came in the work first of all this dude lived in Bell Air and the store was a layer Maryland
[00:04:32] Store was in Rockville which that's a two hour drive. Yeah, if you're lucky it's two hours a two hour drive
[00:04:38] Yeah, and that's basically DC. Yeah, he would drive all the way down
[00:04:43] Every morning and work bell to bell every day. He wasn't he wasn't an hour. He was a salary to pull it
[00:04:50] He was a manager. So he got his like twenty thousand dollars a year
[00:04:54] to manage the game stop
[00:04:56] And so he didn't have to be there, but he would work 73 hour weeks and I remember asking one time I'm like Bill
[00:05:01] Why do you do that? And he was like well? I'll tell you what it impresses the district managers or all pleased with me all of the area manager
[00:05:09] so pleased with me and
[00:05:11] You know, that's the kind of thing that's important for moving up and it's like Bill. You don't have a college degree
[00:05:16] You're never gonna move past store manager. They don't hire store managers is like district managers, right? You're already you're done
[00:05:24] I don't think the game stop would let him would let him if you if he beats Elda fast enough be a district
[00:05:29] Yeah, that's how it works. He also told me he's like also do loss prevention for the district
[00:05:33] Which was a lie that they think they don't have that I don't think and I have a guy that just does a loss prevention
[00:05:39] And then that store I told you that story that store got
[00:05:43] robbed one time
[00:05:45] I didn't get robbed. They had this like a frame with all like Game Boy games in it. This is already like
[00:05:52] I don't know. It's probably like 2007
[00:05:54] So Game Boy was really on his last leg. It's done
[00:05:58] Yeah, so the games cost like if you wanted to buy him they were maybe like three bucks a piece
[00:06:02] Yeah, the trade-in value is nothing so the entirety of this case was worth maybe like
[00:06:07] You know four dollars worth of merchandise
[00:06:14] Adam just Adam got the mouse and he's putting it in his pocket maybe to sell later the market
[00:06:20] market no
[00:06:22] How much these go for these? Yeah, watch it with the fucking wires. I'm gonna put the mic down throw it out
[00:06:29] Okay, all right tell the story. I want to hear this fucking
[00:06:32] Game Boy a frame full of game boys
[00:06:34] Yeah, so fuck I should have drank some coffee. No, it's fine. It's a good story
[00:06:40] I'm fucking it up. It's Adam's fault for still forgetting the mouse. It's just distracting me
[00:06:45] I'm sorry. It was distracting everybody. There's a fucking dead mouse on the floor
[00:06:49] I can't see it because it's blocked by the table. It was really distracting
[00:06:53] We really have to call an exterminator for the Anthony Kumia studios. Yeah, it's fucking
[00:06:59] What and and and it got in a little bit of trouble calling exterminators
[00:07:03] They told him we don't do black eyes and please stop calling
[00:07:10] So he actually can't do business with any of those any of the companies in New York
[00:07:16] Exterminator New York and ask them to exterminate you get ready to find one in New York. Yeah, it's big city. Yeah, I'll do it
[00:07:23] I got a guy for that. Yeah. Oh you said he was a rat wink wink
[00:07:35] No problem. Just murders the guy in broad daylight. Just goes to jail
[00:07:39] Now I'll be seeing about that $25 you only
[00:07:43] How? Yeah, so this fucking this case with like these Game Boy games in it was worth like, you know, nothing
[00:07:55] Yeah, somebody had that like like glass sliding doors in the front
[00:07:59] But the kind of that is like like, you know, there's locks with the teeth
[00:08:03] Somebody found that you could like wiggle them on the sides just enough to like steal
[00:08:08] Like the sides of the so they sold like 10 Game Boy games off the side and I like just noticed it and I told the assistant manager
[00:08:15] John who was like 34 and wore like an Indiana Jones hat
[00:08:22] Facial hair and like this shitty stringy
[00:08:25] and
[00:08:27] I told John and Bill and
[00:08:30] You know, I thought they'd just be like, oh, okay
[00:08:32] And they both come over and they're like crossing their arms and like coughing and puffing and they're like
[00:08:39] Damn it
[00:08:41] You know and John's looking at it and he looks at he looks at Bill and he's like this was probably a professional thief
[00:08:49] Yeah, oceans 11
[00:08:59] Stole your fucking Game Boy games to store stole dr. Mario for Game Boy. Yeah. Yeah
[00:09:05] That shit was that shit was so fucking funny. That's a cool. Yeah. No, Bill shit is pants one time
[00:09:10] I I like went into the store and I did like open with him. This is like the morning. I'm tired of shit
[00:09:16] I don't really want to be there. Yeah, of course and I
[00:09:20] go in and
[00:09:21] Bill's like
[00:09:23] Would you mind setting that up over there for me?
[00:09:25] Thanks, and he like turns around and walks back to the counter. He's as soon as he turns around
[00:09:29] I noticed like on his ass. There's like shit splattered on the back of his pants. Oh
[00:09:34] Not like on there's like brown like shit splatter, but it didn't make sense because you know if you shit your pants
[00:09:40] You shit on the other side, right? So I don't he somehow shit on the back of his pants and
[00:09:45] And just seeped through no
[00:09:47] I'm assuming he had like diarrhea or something and like was rushing to pull his pants down and shit on the
[00:09:53] He shit on the back of them while like trying to sit down and shit. Just think okay, um
[00:09:58] so I was like
[00:10:01] That was like great. This is fantastic and
[00:10:05] So his other like employees were coming into the store that day. I'd be like oh
[00:10:08] Yeah, hey Jeremy. How was your weekend? Oh by the way, Bill shit his pants?
[00:10:14] You want to take a look you can see you should his pants. I like called my friend Matt and
[00:10:20] Cuz like you know, I'd made fun of that guy so much. Yeah, and Matt's like no way you should his pants
[00:10:24] I was like yeah, he should his pants and then like two hours later
[00:10:27] I was just you know like stocking the shelves or something and I just hear from behind me my friend
[00:10:32] That's boy seems like can I tell him?
[00:10:34] I had come to the store to see it
[00:10:42] Yeah, that dude ran over a child on his way to work one morning what
[00:10:47] Yeah, he got to work like 20 minutes late and he's like that's it sorry. I'm late and he but maybe he's a little bit
[00:10:53] Long then he goes he's like sorry. I'm late. He's like skidded on the ice and my car went into a 14 year
[00:11:01] Girl and she got hit up on the roof, but the police said it was her fault. She didn't have the right away
[00:11:05] So I was clear to come to work and I was like bill go home
[00:11:11] There's no reason for you to be
[00:11:15] Yeah, he ran over a child on his way to GameStop that day. She had his pants was the only day
[00:11:20] He actually left when he shift ended. Yeah, he was like wow three o'clock. I'm tired. I'm beat. I'm ready to go
[00:11:26] What is that oh man? I wonder what that guy's up to now. I don't know he died
[00:11:33] He told me about like when I am interviewed for the job
[00:11:38] For some reason he's like well, I'll tell you a little bit about me
[00:11:41] He was like I was enlisted in the army after the army
[00:11:46] I worked at Suncoast video and worked my way up to manager and I was there for 17 years
[00:11:51] And then I said I'm fucking old but how old is he for real? He was like probably like 37 38 damn
[00:11:57] Yeah
[00:11:59] But I don't understand why that was part of the interview process. Yeah, yeah
[00:12:02] He's just hope this doesn't know us. Yeah, doesn't know how to imagine that working at a Suncoast video. What a depressing store
[00:12:10] What we never had this we just had blockbuster in Hollywood video Suncoast video wasn't a rental place
[00:12:15] Yeah, it was a there's a video retailer. Oh, they sold like yeah, they sold camcorders and tapes
[00:12:22] No, they sold like VHS tapes and like posters and shit
[00:12:27] Later, but it was like a Sam goody. It was the same exact same goody for it
[00:12:33] It was like a place where you could get like like box that's like compilations of shows and stuff. Okay
[00:12:38] Jesus dude. How fuck can you imagine people would fucking go to the mall to a Suncoast video if they wanted to like watch
[00:12:46] Season three of a show they liked. Yeah, that shit sucks, dude. Yeah, that was a whole fucking industry
[00:12:52] Yeah, I was just like like that that ass what does have a job anymore?
[00:12:56] Yeah, I can think that's like that. You know, it's funny is you think back to and it's like yeah
[00:13:01] But you know you had the shit you were entertained by and you didn't think you were missing out on anything
[00:13:05] That's within the context, but I remember being like 13 and like
[00:13:10] Just be getting so bored. I would get fucking like angry. Yeah, you know and start breaking shit
[00:13:18] You know yeah, I like stuff on fire like that's what causes that it's like fucking bored
[00:13:24] No Netflix. Yeah, I just get pissed off that I there was nothing to do. Yeah, I
[00:13:29] Fucking I remember once I got the Chappelle show DVDs. I just watched those that was it. Yeah
[00:13:34] That was the time when the DVD box that was king that was the best thing on earth everyone in college had that box
[00:13:41] Oh, yeah, and that's why Dave Chappelle's like super rich. Yeah, the first thing I ever watched online
[00:13:48] I think was trailer park boys. Oh, yeah, there's a website. It was like yeah
[00:13:53] No, it was on like ice films or TV TV links. That was the way TV links. Hell. Yeah TV links dot something that EU
[00:14:00] Yeah, and I watched trailer park boys on there and you stick forever for that shit to buffer
[00:14:06] Yeah, you'd have just fucking yeah, just pause it and walk away
[00:14:09] Yeah, yeah, pause it and wait. Yeah, like a half hour and you can watch old fucking TV show and I thought yeah
[00:14:14] I thought this is like the greatest thing in the fucking world
[00:14:18] Watching like a TV show my shitty like fucking 15 inch but giant CRT monitor. Yeah, yeah, yeah
[00:14:24] Fuck dude, then I would go get Arizona iced tea from CVS, which I remember thinking was healthy because it was iced
[00:14:32] It was green. Yeah, I didn't drink the green tea. I just drank the regular iced. Oh, really? Yeah
[00:14:37] I'm like it's tea. It's healthy. It's not like soda and I drink like three of those
[00:14:42] I think Arizona iced he was like put in urban areas by the CIA to kill like black people
[00:14:47] So but they're not about to crack. It's not
[00:14:51] That's like just drink this
[00:14:56] crack
[00:14:59] That was but yeah
[00:15:00] Reagan is to crack as Bill Clinton is to Arizona tall boys. What a fucking Obama do though
[00:15:07] Obama just he's just white people he made white people move to Brooklyn
[00:15:11] Yeah, we're the crack of the Obama administration human cra whoa, whoa you guys are the gentrifiers. I live in Astoria
[00:15:21] Okay
[00:15:23] Well, that's the podcast folks everyone. Thank you so much for listening
[00:15:27] Yeah, thank you for
[00:15:28] content if you check that shit out
[00:15:30] We got we got n words for you
[00:15:32] We just found out right before starting this the David Simon uses the end
[00:15:36] That was awesome. Yeah, you really just hot off the press. He's on a tear tonight
[00:15:40] You know using the N word and defending his use of it. Yeah, we can't say it because that would make this
[00:15:46] Hey, any thought that it was? Yeah, the way he explains it if you say
[00:15:51] soft a n-word the interlocutor of the grammatical I don't know some fucking nerd
[00:15:58] Makes it not okay to use the N word. I feel
[00:16:01] Yeah, it's like listen up black people. I went to college for saying the N word
[00:16:09] Yeah, I wrote your favorite show he has literally typed out the N word on a
[00:16:15] Word processor. Yeah, so many times a million times so many times
[00:16:20] Actually word he is type he wrote that he wrote the wire with dictation software. Oh, so he's shouting. Yeah
[00:16:27] Yeah, that early shit he only wrote the dialogue for the black people though
[00:16:35] He'd be great to hack Stephen Hawking's computer and then like
[00:16:40] You know just throw N words in there whenever he's talking to Neil deGrasse
[00:16:48] We've who's agreed to do the show because Sam Hyde wouldn't we'll see if we get weaved it
[00:16:53] To hack Stephen Hawking's what we should have we've on just demand that he does that
[00:16:59] I'm down for that. Please hack Stephen. Yeah, just give him things to hack
[00:17:05] Fuck yeah, look I'm a little I'm even more out of it than usual cuz we're gonna go out to eat after this and I haven't eaten for a while
[00:17:12] Dude, I took a fucking I took one of those yeah
[00:17:14] I took one of those 7 p.m. Naps where you wake up and you feel like the worst nap. Yeah, you wake up
[00:17:20] And you feel like there's like a bunch of blood in your nose
[00:17:25] Where it's light outside you wake up and it's dark and you just have no concept of space
[00:17:31] Yeah, I feel like you take those are the naps you take and you wake up and you're like what the fuck
[00:17:36] Why do I feel this way in your body was like secretly trying to die
[00:17:41] Are you like looking it was like oh I'm not doing I'm just hanging out
[00:17:46] Like why can't I feel one of my legs?
[00:17:51] Fuck dude, I mean I know I'm getting fatter when I when my fucking legs go numb when I'm shitting
[00:17:56] Yeah, what if my leg happens to me all the time? I don't think it's a weight thing. I think it's a candy crush thing. I
[00:18:01] Think it's maybe eating a lot of shit
[00:18:04] Yeah, do you eat your own shit? I've been eating like my shit my roommate shit. Yeah, but that's it
[00:18:11] I mean nobody else's yeah, you know how I can there's a place in Williamsburg
[00:18:15] That does a really good shit
[00:18:17] You know people like will like lock themselves in their garage with their car running to kill themselves
[00:18:22] Yeah, like a hose from the tailpipe into the car just do that but with your own ass
[00:18:32] It takes like four sheets for it to fill up
[00:18:37] They just sit in the library and leave a note
[00:18:39] You sold the note you handed to people. Sorry. What are you doing? It's a gentle way goodbye cruel world
[00:18:51] I actually do have something fucking funny to talk about is I joined
[00:18:56] When I was working at that dumb website before it got shut down
[00:18:59] We were like for some reason we thought it would be good viral marketing to like join a bunch of weed groups and like fucking
[00:19:07] Post a lot of jokes on Facebook. Yeah, but as a result. I forgot that I joined
[00:19:14] 420 BBW freaks
[00:19:19] Going live
[00:19:22] And sucking dick and they just show it
[00:19:28] Go check out 420 BBW freaks on Facebook. It's that's funny. It's fuck. Yeah, they probably have no way of censoring Facebook live
[00:19:35] They have no way of censoring and it's also it's a bunch of guys trying to fuck fat bitches on
[00:19:40] Fabics that love weed. It's so funny. Just guys posting. They're like glamour shots
[00:19:45] Like just like hey, what's up ladies like like if you like what you see it's like he gets no likes
[00:19:51] Yeah, there's another guy. There's another guy who's like big big ass dick pictures coming through
[00:19:58] Like a warning me
[00:20:00] In the comments he post pictures of his dick and women are just like nice
[00:20:06] And then I clicked on it and this bitch has just like
[00:20:12] Picture said like her children's graduation
[00:20:16] It was dude was some of the yes dick pictures
[00:20:20] Warning
[00:20:23] Then once said medium-sized it was really funny. Yeah, it's a good group. I got fucking I
[00:20:28] Like Raytheon on Facebook and the guys that leave comments on Raytheon's posts are the fucking best
[00:20:35] Oh, yes
[00:20:35] It's always a mustache always a fucking baseball hat in the pick the guys that have their
[00:20:41] Profile picture and their cover picture are the same
[00:20:46] It's just them and twice
[00:20:49] This is just one guy I'm gonna change my shit to that when I get home. Yeah, that's actually a good look. Yeah. Yeah
[00:20:56] Oh
[00:20:57] Yeah guys don't ever do the thing where you like somehow
[00:21:01] Incorporate where the profile picture overlaps a cover photo like check out this guy over here or anything
[00:21:06] It's pointing up that makes you an asshole. Yeah, that makes you a stupid asshole
[00:21:10] You look like a youtuber if you do that shit
[00:21:12] I'm shit youtubers. You gotta go you gotta really up your social media game and think about these things. Oh, yeah
[00:21:19] Yeah, for example post nude pictures of yourself. That's what I do
[00:21:23] She has to digureros took some good-ass pics of me
[00:21:27] You'll see him soon gang if you follow me on Instagram at stavey baby STM maybe white baby jumping those DMS
[00:21:33] Try and fuck me. What do you say this girl that took pictures of you?
[00:21:37] I ran into her today. No me also great. No me and no me photo check her out now. No means no
[00:21:43] No, no no no no no no me photo
[00:21:49] And I don't think she knows your name is staff or stavros so she just kept call you stavi
[00:21:56] Some people stop he was over like
[00:21:59] Two weeks ago and we took some we did a session for maybe hour hour and a half
[00:22:04] He was just so great to work with
[00:22:08] And I was telling stopy like I have this huge loft you guys should do shows at my house
[00:22:12] Why does she have a loft? She's rich
[00:22:16] She rich or do she's rich? She's not a business out of there
[00:22:19] She's she's really rich from she runs a business where she takes sexy pictures of men
[00:22:25] It's like and women. I guess it's called yeah, you're far from your father if stop puts her out of business
[00:22:33] The technology
[00:22:36] No, I wouldn't cuz I'm hot bitch people want to fuck me get this gas cat off my ottoman
[00:22:41] I think she gets like royalties from
[00:22:44] She's the work for like
[00:22:46] Thompson Reuters or some big shit like anytime they run a picture of her she gets checked so nice. I wish I had that
[00:22:54] You wish you had apparently you can make a lot of money my bit like whenever I meet a photographer
[00:22:58] Like my like asshole bit that I obviously repeat every single time. Yeah, I'm a photographer. I like always just take my phone out
[00:23:08] I'm like yeah me too buddy. Me too
[00:23:12] That is a good bit. That's good. Does that go over? No, they hate it. Okay. Yeah
[00:23:21] My favorite shitty
[00:23:23] Open mic bit is when people are like yeah when I tell people a comic they're like oh
[00:23:27] Can you do a bit for me right now and it's like you're not a comedian. I hate
[00:23:34] Nothing I hate more than that shit, dude
[00:23:36] It would go up to a doctor and be like yeah, just do some surgery for me right now
[00:23:41] Actually you would yeah, there was a fucking emergency that happened
[00:23:46] If I fucking bomb went off they would immediately be like who here's a doctor that is hilarious
[00:23:51] God damn, that's funny
[00:23:54] Doctor would be like oh well. What is this guy a comedian?
[00:23:58] I don't even make the comic do it. Yeah, I'm not at work right now. You piece of shit
[00:24:07] Quick this man's in dire need of laughs
[00:24:10] Back off pal
[00:24:13] God damn I hate open mike so fucking hate open mike so I hate stand-up comedy. I hate myself
[00:24:18] I wish I was dead. Yeah, no, I'm with you. Who is this they were dead the most out of us probably me right now
[00:24:24] It fluctuates. I think I'm on a high actually. I'm yeah. I'm doing bad this week
[00:24:29] I was doing a bad about it, but I really do a lot of the time just with you're on a nice even keel though
[00:24:34] Where you're semi-depressed, but then you'll fuck like women for no reason that are hot as shit
[00:24:40] And you'll still pretend to be sad. Well, I'm having a fair now. You know you're smiling. Oh, are you? Yeah? Well, I'm the
[00:24:48] Mistress I don't think back at ship say and I was too far. I didn't do anything
[00:24:52] I bought plexiglass on Amazon today, and then I fell asleep on the floor
[00:24:57] Real that's the level of depression. I'm that that's pretty bad, but this motherfucker's talking about being a Gomara, dude
[00:25:03] He's fucking cucking somebody. Well, I'm saying I beat I'm winning. You're winning. Yeah, but I think this is pretty interesting
[00:25:09] He's okay. Yeah, go finish the story. I
[00:25:11] Mean that's it stops at something really true to me about it
[00:25:16] Which is that?
[00:25:18] You ultimately just start feeling like they're cheating on you with their boyfriend. Oh nice trying to beat you
[00:25:24] Wisdom of a large woman
[00:25:30] You should be on the view I would love to be on the
[00:25:33] I would love that shit. They should just rebrand the view. What have you thought the view is about fat people and not women?
[00:25:40] He thought it's like yeah, it's a show for old fat people
[00:25:43] Doesn't work as they have those young they have a couple hot Republican. Yeah, it's
[00:25:47] Yeah, the Elizabeth has sold she's been off the show for a while she's been gone
[00:25:52] But I think there's always one hot Republican, right?
[00:25:55] Yeah, I think I don't know I haven't watched that show with any kind of is it been really regular 20 fucking years
[00:26:02] That's crazy. Yeah, I remember when it debuted. Me too. We just fucked up
[00:26:06] It's fucked up. He's be Barbara Walters, right?
[00:26:09] Walter's
[00:26:11] Rosie O'Donnell. No, she came in and out whoopi Goldberg whoopi. Yeah, I do mean Oprah. I did have to think about it
[00:26:24] You know, I think sometimes I make myself laugh the thing about like being the color purple
[00:26:29] But then I think I call I call her in my head the smell purple
[00:26:33] I don't even know what that means but it makes me laugh
[00:26:41] Nice man to smell purple. Yeah, I smell of purple this man said of the color. Why is Oprah keep trying to act?
[00:26:48] She's still doing that. She's about to be in a movie again. It's like I mean you're fucking rich as hell
[00:26:53] What is she trying to act in she she'll pop up in a movie everyone. She's in the butler
[00:26:57] She was she was I think she produces movies and yeah forces them to make her act
[00:27:03] It's fucking great. She's in those get the fuck out of there Oprah. Yeah, that is weird and she's like
[00:27:09] She has the worst production company name harpa. That's the most retarded she had in the world also to Marx Brothers
[00:27:16] And it's just her name backwards. Yeah, that's that's her name backwards
[00:27:20] So stupid our production company name is way better stops gay
[00:27:24] I
[00:27:27] Would fucking love if that was the production company. I might do that. I gotta talk to that CPA
[00:27:34] Yeah, hell yeah the child pornography authority. Yo, is this okay?
[00:27:39] I just put it together the other day is sports authority supposed to be a port authority party you text
[00:27:46] That's dumbest show ever not I think it is what about bus terminals moves sports
[00:27:53] I don't merchandise that when was what was it was either gonna be that or or badly attended sports of call
[00:28:03] That was the other name for the store when was port of the sports authority started
[00:28:09] After port authority
[00:28:10] Dude, I don't know that which one was first the store
[00:28:15] The concept of a port authority
[00:28:17] What would as a little kid dude the dream was to get fucking locked in a sports authority overnight and like amelested
[00:28:25] Yeah, get fucked by the day. I'm a whole long robbers
[00:28:29] entire legs to
[00:28:32] basketball hoop
[00:28:35] My
[00:28:38] Dude imagine though
[00:28:40] I fucking farted them out. Yeah, that was the dream
[00:28:47] Being less than a real fun chill way
[00:28:52] That was funny that I was gonna say so
[00:28:55] Dude, just getting locked in did you ever want to be as a little kid get locked in places?
[00:29:00] No, I like and like have your run of the place if I was locked I never had that food
[00:29:05] I used to have fuck shit exactly in a whole foods a whole foods
[00:29:10] I would a department store was the best good at the most shit
[00:29:14] Yeah, most different shit, but especially it was fun like you fucking dunk and you could just like play in all the shit
[00:29:20] Trampoline I used to have a fantasy that I would do repeatedly in my head and it was a weird like I don't know
[00:29:26] Yeah, I would have a recurring dream that every window and door in my house like that led to the outside if you open the door
[00:29:33] There was just a giant ass
[00:29:36] It was like a nightmare that there was a giant
[00:29:41] Yeah, yes, you couldn't leave the house because there was these giant like asses being like shoved through the windows and doors
[00:29:48] This is a dream or that was here. It was the dream. I can't remember
[00:29:52] I just remember that was a prominent part of my childhood and you felt scared of the
[00:29:55] Yeah, yeah, I couldn't there was no way to leave the house because of these asses or whatever and then
[00:30:03] Then there was this other fantasies to have that there was like an underground tunnel I could go in
[00:30:07] I had like my own panic room like my own panic control room with like
[00:30:11] You know monitors that led out everywhere and I could kill people with like remote machine guns
[00:30:17] No, now that sounded more like a you do fantasy no
[00:30:20] I actually talked to a couple people like numerous people had that really you know, it's funny
[00:30:24] I bonded with a friend of mine over like a little serial killers in junior
[00:30:28] I remember I used to fantasize about having like was that movie like I don't even think I saw the movie
[00:30:34] But just like there was like a they it was like kids had watches that could stop time. I
[00:30:39] Don't know not talk stoppers. I think that was the name. Oh, yeah, I'm stopped
[00:30:44] Like that I didn't see it, but I was I understand yeah
[00:30:48] And I remember like in middle school thinking about like how cool would it be if I could stop time and then have sex with every girl?
[00:30:59] I'm sex with every girl in the class and then sit back down on my seat and then start time again
[00:31:03] And then you would just see every girl in class suddenly just be like oh
[00:31:08] And I know what happened and I'm just sitting there super relaxed
[00:31:12] I just took like nine days to work my way through the entire classroom
[00:31:23] Boy yeah, that was a that was on I
[00:31:27] Time and touching titties
[00:31:36] Dream of
[00:31:38] School that's not rape if it's hypothetical because actually you know that is like a fun physics question
[00:31:44] About wood consent exists outside of a constructive space time. Whoa
[00:31:50] I'm serious
[00:31:52] with the concept of consent because here's the thing the problem is the problem with like rape or any crime
[00:31:59] Or any any crime right any any kind of violent crime is like traumatizing somebody you're hurting them right right?
[00:32:04] But that only becomes apparent
[00:32:06] Through consequence. Mm-hmm. So if you stop time and time doesn't exist and you fuck somebody
[00:32:13] The effect is true because if you like rape someone while they're sleeping they don't realize
[00:32:18] I know they wake up and realize they wake up if you stop time so time so if there's no
[00:32:24] Would you rape if there's no time? Yeah, if you can't say something occurred because it happened outside of the realm of occurrence
[00:32:31] Mm-hmm at large then there is no crime
[00:32:33] Yeah, but then would you just live out the rest of your life in the stops time because as soon as time?
[00:32:40] Resumes then it's rape
[00:32:43] No, because that didn't happen to them. I
[00:32:46] Yes, technically make you right so you could rape that way
[00:32:50] Yeah
[00:32:52] Caught to a scene of the storming out of a courthouse and everyone's cheering
[00:32:56] There are reporters taking pictures ripping
[00:33:05] The greatest scientist of all time
[00:33:09] Working for 40 years
[00:33:12] So you can rape people
[00:33:15] Well time is stopped you devoted your entire you get one of the finest scientific minds
[00:33:21] That's really a beautiful mind. That's what that movie
[00:33:27] Nick you truly have the mind may be beautiful, but that ass
[00:33:37] This is the parenthetical title that movie god damn that's this what is that the subtitle?
[00:33:44] Subheader, what is it? No
[00:33:46] Parenthetical I tell you what boys I am excited to make some use of this Craig Master jig. I've had my eye on it for a while now
[00:33:56] I'm gonna be cutting a lot of pocket holes and dowels in the next couple of weeks folks
[00:34:02] If you own the Craig out there, and you're looking for some project ideas follow me on YouTube
[00:34:08] It's the official daily stormer account
[00:34:11] I'm like every every every hundred videos or so. I'll do a woodworking thing
[00:34:18] But watch all of the videos it's important you listen to what these guys have to say
[00:34:22] You know, I know genocide may seem like a scary word, but if you really think about it
[00:34:29] It's kind of necessary
[00:34:31] What's happening to us right now? Yeah, we're being we're being white genocide. Yeah. Oh man
[00:34:37] I was like really disappointed that the police shot another unarmed black eye today. Did you see that on on the day after the
[00:34:44] Let me have one day
[00:34:47] Where I get to be like I told yourself
[00:34:51] I fucking knew it and then that you know what it was a lady cop that did it of course
[00:34:57] Yeah, she's like I got to take one for the team. Yeah, I gotta I gotta do this and make this happen so that
[00:35:03] We can go back to fucking realize man, that's
[00:35:09] Quite a shame. Yeah, they're doing the black. I'm trying to remember his name. I can hear his power keeps popping back in my head
[00:35:16] Turns Howard as a micro penis by the way. Is that a fact? Yeah, what do you mean the actor? Yeah, turns out?
[00:35:22] He has like a micro penis. Yes. He does dude. What do you mean? He does? How do you know that?
[00:35:26] You guys talk for a second. I'll pull it up on my okay
[00:35:29] What do you know way that guys got a yes this weird thing about he although he does the math thing zero plus zero equals one I
[00:35:39] Have no idea. We're talking. He has this weird thing where or like one times one is two. That's what it is
[00:35:45] What do you mean? He hasn't he like?
[00:35:48] He's like he says it's a bad at math. What's really bad? No, but like he's like very confidently bad at math
[00:35:55] Okay, he's like I have this theory. I'll look it up after Nick pulls up this guy's dick
[00:36:00] Okay, you mean that thing that like like that?
[00:36:04] Contradiction in algebra where you can prove that one equals to
[00:36:07] Was that what it is? I mean, maybe that's the thing they show you in junior high. Is that a real thing?
[00:36:12] Really? I don't remember when I took algebra. They showed you that like yeah one fucking nerd, you know fucking algebra
[00:36:18] Yeah, I mean not anymore bitch. All right. I could see him
[00:36:23] I guess he seems like the kind of guy oh he's bad shouldn't say who own he could he could be the guy who only eats pussy
[00:36:30] Yeah, no in his divorce get this so in his divorce. He was uh, and this is just me
[00:36:36] I am staring at a picture of his dick right now while I'm telling you show me I will afterwards so
[00:36:42] In his divorce like he was worried he was saying that his wife is blackmailing
[00:36:46] I'm saying that she was gonna tell everyone about his tiny little dick
[00:36:48] And what that was like in the court documents, but then he did a naked scene in a movie
[00:36:56] Look at this shit dude
[00:36:58] Adam pass me that
[00:37:00] No way. Why would he agree to why don't know look at that look at that. Are you sure this is real?
[00:37:05] That's real. Let me see they wouldn't I got bigger dick than Terence. How they would make fake
[00:37:11] Micro penis no, but this could be photoshopped. It's not photoshopped. It's a scene in the house
[00:37:16] Let me see it. Why would he agree to do it in a movie? I don't know what
[00:37:21] No, that's pretty cool. That's a pretty cool micro to pee. What the fuck
[00:37:28] Well, I guess now we know why it's so hard out here for a pimp. No way. This is real
[00:37:34] folks says a reference to the movie hustle and flow which came out in
[00:37:40] 2005
[00:37:42] 2005 was it very overrated movie. I thought it was okay. I
[00:37:47] Thought it was kind of a piece of shit. You know, I want to watch again training day
[00:37:51] There is Howard believes one times one equals two
[00:37:55] So he created his own language if you believe the rules of basic arithmetic
[00:38:00] Terrence, I mean, you know, it's like not the biggest dick I've ever seen no that is a tiny
[00:38:05] It's a bad angle you throw to me. I got an otter box. It's a bad angle, but he's probably you know
[00:38:14] Damn, that is a pretty small dick though. Yeah poor guy. I mean here look in this one all you can see is his balls
[00:38:22] There's another one. Yeah, all you see is his balls. Oh my god his penis is completely invisible
[00:38:28] All right, this is not good. This is not good broadcast material
[00:38:32] Well, when we do we were all looking at that picture of Arthur Chu people seem to like it
[00:38:38] Did they I forgot we did that are the chewers of micro penis well, duh
[00:38:43] That's not news at all. Yeah
[00:38:46] It would be weird if he had like a bigger than four inches dick
[00:38:49] All right, I'm fucking after seeing his shoes
[00:38:51] I love the idea of Arthur going to life fuck a girl and somehow he likes shoves the condom halfway in his ass
[00:38:57] Like the rapper jammed down his dick. Oh, okay. I'm ready. I'm ready to do this
[00:39:04] Alright, this is what Terrence Howard says about one times one. He said how could it equal one?
[00:39:10] if one times one equals one that means that two is of no value because one times itself has no effect
[00:39:18] One times one equals two because the square root of four is two. So what's the square root of two?
[00:39:24] Should be one but we're told it's two and that cannot be
[00:39:30] That's that's two isn't the square root of two. No, it's like it's like one point
[00:39:37] Some weird. Yeah, he's fucking stupid. He's got a little ass dick
[00:39:43] An Ironman with maybe maybe he's just why maybe he's just thinking with his dick folks
[00:39:49] Because it's small little ass dick
[00:39:54] Next doing a thing like he's whispering. Yeah, well that that does pick up. Oh, it does
[00:40:00] Yeah, I don't know that people can tell there's an acoustic. I'm doing it now you pieces of shit. Yeah, that's a I
[00:40:08] Feel like this makes things funny if you do that. I've been doing this a lot actually
[00:40:12] This like like like you're trying to I got a secret
[00:40:15] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a fun like your hand is blocking the sound from exactly yeah
[00:40:22] Oh, yeah, this is also good radio. I feel like I've been on point tonight. You've been great. Good. Thanks guys
[00:40:29] You've been really so depressed lately. So I needed that. Yeah, I'm thinking about getting into cheese
[00:40:34] It's not about like stinky stuff like no French
[00:40:38] I just I'm thinking about I really I really was in the mood tonight for some cheddar and Triscuits
[00:40:43] Books this podcast is brought to you by Rosemary and olive oil Triscuits the Triscuits for
[00:40:50] Not gay guys the rest of the Triscuits. Yeah, you better be your gay. I love Rosemary and fucking you don't understand
[00:40:57] Why Trump doesn't just say like look if you don't vote for me
[00:41:01] You're a faggot because the people that aren't gonna vote for him that would still would fall for that
[00:41:07] You know what I mean?
[00:41:09] Because that's the jelly bean. That's the perfect way to solidify his base like vote for Trump or your I would love
[00:41:15] Imagine gay
[00:41:17] Imagine seeing fucking billboards that say that just like
[00:41:21] for your gay
[00:41:24] Major American
[00:41:28] Is not completely out of the realm of posse this is good you dicks out for Harambe
[00:41:34] Yeah, but for Trump or your gay vote for Trump or your gay
[00:41:37] I think this could be something did you guys hear that when they arrested the terrorists that did the bomb today?
[00:41:43] He said dicks out for Harambe. That was the last thing. Yeah, he said he said hi Brandon so much
[00:41:49] He said I was he said he said the person that inspired me the most to commit this act of
[00:41:55] Ordell I mean he could have said that the guy was a psychopath. He's not a real
[00:41:59] any Muslim that commits any kind of
[00:42:02] Well any if jumps a turn style, you know doesn't pay his taxes. They're no longer Muslim. It's true
[00:42:09] In fact the only real Muslim is the is the guy from the night up an actor
[00:42:15] It's the only one guy. Yeah
[00:42:18] He was a good boy and odd not good boy. No, no odd on did it so I was a bad boy
[00:42:25] Yeah, I know it's Christian now. Yeah, I didn't know that's not work Christian by guilt. I
[00:42:32] Now I had an ad did it by the way. I did I never watched that you didn't listen to cereal
[00:42:36] I don't give a fuck about cereal dude cereal. It's great actually. It's like it's actually
[00:42:41] I heard season two was a very I didn't listen to you. I didn't listen to it. I didn't listen to it
[00:42:44] Cereal season one is what got me in the podcast. I listened to it when I was moving once. What do you mean?
[00:42:48] It was fucking two years ago
[00:42:50] Yeah
[00:42:51] That's that was the first podcast I was really cereal. Yeah, that's weird. I was like, okay
[00:42:56] Maybe this isn't like such a you're like a fucking Midwestern mom
[00:42:59] That's what they were saying like the first podcast the podcast had been an industry for like people were doing it for how long 10 years
[00:43:05] Yeah, I mean I listened to a handful of what the Fox and I really cared for it. Yeah, you know
[00:43:11] Hate mary was that you also hate mary. Yeah, I didn't listen to race wars when I was on it
[00:43:16] Yeah, I'd probably been on like seven podcasts before I like actually got into listening to podcast
[00:43:22] Yeah, I can't listen to the ones that I'm on. That's fucking weird. Yeah. No, it is weird. Who does that? I
[00:43:27] Don't know what kind of fucking psycho little darins Howard. Yeah, so
[00:43:32] No, cereal's great cuz there's one episode where like the whole the whole the prosecutions case hinged on there like
[00:43:40] Structure of like how like their time frame of how like the crime went down
[00:43:44] Yeah, and there is a like 21 minute window where
[00:43:49] Adnan can't be accounted for and neither can like came in and like they just have to go based on like adnan's story
[00:43:56] And the prosecution says like okay. This is what he did. He left the school
[00:44:01] He you know met up with her here best
[00:44:03] But yeah best by choked her out in the car and then dumped her body in the woods and then went back in time for football
[00:44:09] Practice or whatever and that was that was what happened in this 21 minutes and so you're like halfway through cereal
[00:44:17] And you know they cut to like a adnan on the prison phone
[00:44:19] He's like, you know, I just don't understand how I could have you know ever had the time to do that
[00:44:24] You know, I mean it just doesn't make sense to me. I could do that
[00:44:27] She's like well what did happen at and he's like, you know, I honestly don't remember, you know
[00:44:31] It's like that's his old thing. He's like I don't remember and then she's like that's what makes him so credible
[00:44:36] Is that like he doesn't have an alibi and it's like okay, and then so I don't disagree
[00:44:42] I you know, I don't either. I don't remember what I did. Yes
[00:44:45] But there's this idea that like convicts don't fucking lie to people like they're not really good liars, right?
[00:44:52] No convicts are for the most part pretty bad liars a small percentage of them are sociopaths and they're incredible liars
[00:45:00] Most of them aren't very good at lying. I think so
[00:45:04] You do yeah, I think any any person that I've like met that has like spent like
[00:45:10] You know a decent amount of time in like prison. They're usually good at lying
[00:45:15] They're usually liars. I would agree with that. Yeah
[00:45:19] He hadn't spent time in prison. He was just yeah
[00:45:23] In Syria, I guess he was anyhow yeah
[00:45:25] So there's one episode where they like she's like so me and Dana decided to follow the prosecution's timeline and see how long it would take
[00:45:32] And they like time it and they're like okay, we're leaving
[00:45:34] They actually leave the school they do everything that she said he did and then they get to the phone booth
[00:45:39] Where he makes the phone call that ends and she's like and time and she looks at the watch and she's like okay
[00:45:45] 22 minutes and 30 seconds. It's like it's the exact it's almost like pretty much like you know
[00:45:51] It's like a minute off
[00:45:54] And then they tell ad man and he's like well that
[00:45:58] Hmm
[00:46:00] Okay, you know
[00:46:02] But yeah, no he definitely killed that girl. Do you think even Avery did it?
[00:46:06] Steven Avery absolutely did it look any kind of thing any kind of justice documentary is bullshit. They're all bullshit
[00:46:13] Steven Avery guilty's ad nan guilty Robert Durst innocent
[00:46:17] True. Yeah, he's 100% innocent. There's something about
[00:46:23] Robert Durst. I don't know what it is
[00:46:25] Yeah, and odd none just was not I can't put my finger on it
[00:46:31] Steven Avery kind of ruins that joke. Oh, I guess yeah
[00:46:34] But I like where you go with well Robert Durst is Jewish you could go that route. Yeah, there you go
[00:46:39] Well, then that's bad also though. Yeah, it is
[00:46:42] Avery some different I told you guys right when I was kid. OJ was going on my father
[00:46:49] Just went absolutely crazy about the trial like a lot of people. That's not very remarkable, but
[00:46:53] he
[00:46:55] Did not believe OJ Simpson killed his wife
[00:46:59] He was like the only white man in America and he was just sitting at a lot of people a lot of absolutely nuts
[00:47:06] No, it was pretty evenly divided like white people were like yeah, he did it like rich white people didn't want to believe
[00:47:12] Well, I pretty much had my finger directly on the pulse of America back then when I was five years old
[00:47:17] Yeah, I really understood the zeitgeist at the time the people I talked to at work when I was five
[00:47:24] No, you watch those reaction videos
[00:47:26] Watch the reaction videos like from the dog star one from the 30 for 30. No, no watch the reaction videos from the 30 for 30
[00:47:33] I didn't say the 30 for 30. It's you didn't that's just good. It's insane
[00:47:37] It's literally white people just weeping about Nicole and then like blasening just going absolutely
[00:47:43] Yeah, like so excited that dad is such a funny character
[00:47:48] The guy that they got to play the dad in the tv show looked exactly what about my son
[00:47:55] Exactly like the real it was so funny
[00:47:59] What's his name goldman gas dead son
[00:48:02] Okay, guys. Well, it's our monster truck check-in time now ready for the monster truck minute
[00:48:07] Um, oh actually we should probably take well, I don't want it. I've been enjoying not taking breaks
[00:48:13] Cause then I then I don't have to fucking find some gay bullshit to put in the middle of the show. Yeah, that's fine
[00:48:20] We've done almost small caffeine
[00:48:23] We're all going out to dinner after this. I I can't go to
[00:48:29] I can just we'll grab something quick. Where? I don't know. We're gonna with diner. I have my bike
[00:48:35] You're going to danny's diner that danny's danny's delicious diner down on the block
[00:48:41] Undecal is that was open on deco. I don't fucking know. I don't know what i'm talking about i'm trying to fill time
[00:48:47] On our part you're both falling asleep
[00:48:50] All right, i'm sorry i'm sorry
[00:48:51] I'm we did a podcast late last night and then i'd be up at seven this morning. I was yeah
[00:48:55] I gotta go build a goddamn fence tomorrow. I'll be up at six a.m
[00:48:59] Really why i don't know i told my uh on i'd help her put a gate where westchester no in uh
[00:49:06] house kitchen hell's kitchen. Yeah, she's like a
[00:49:10] What kind of gate like a wrought iron gate? No, it's just like a stockade gate. It's like wooden out
[00:49:16] Yeah, it's in like it's behind the apartment. Oh behind the apartment
[00:49:19] But it has like a wooden front gate in New York. No, no, no, it's like where her garbage cans are
[00:49:24] Yeah, it's all rotted out right getting into iron work. That'd be cool. I want to learn how to weld build a fucking robot
[00:49:31] Get this enter those robot fights with my giant robot that i've built. Hell yeah. Yeah, get an angle grinder
[00:49:38] Yeah, that's what my new thing is just making sparks
[00:49:42] That's the coolest shit. Yeah, what do you remember David Letterman had that woman that would fucking do sparks?
[00:49:48] Yeah, yeah, remember that shit. Yeah, she was grinding this shit on her pussy. Yeah. Yeah, i remember beating off that a couple times
[00:49:53] Really? Yeah, because you could see like a real high up near a pussy
[00:49:58] She had like a real angled bikini bottom real. Yeah, I don't remember that bit
[00:50:04] Oh, I mean the only one I remember is uh, will it float? That's fucking he didn't raise damage
[00:50:09] He was the best person to do that very very stupid job
[00:50:14] Nah, dude. Jimmy Fallon. He's the best
[00:50:17] I love that everyone was mad that Fallon had Trump on
[00:50:19] They're not mad that he had Trump on there mad that he like flirted with Trump
[00:50:25] Didn't even ask Trump's a great guy
[00:50:29] He says we're all thinking
[00:50:32] You know he really he look listen he really understands people okay in a way that other people don't he's a blue collar
[00:50:42] Billionaire. Yeah, you know, he's the blue collar combinator. He's all for exactly exactly
[00:50:47] How did you see Larry the cable guy on fox and friends?
[00:50:51] I think we talked about this on another one. Look did he know where clinton is going to ruin the country?
[00:50:56] He went yeah, we gotta get her out done. Get her finished
[00:51:02] Gotta get her done. Yeah, it's like we went in character to fucking get me
[00:51:06] Dan Whitney. Yeah, he was in and out of character. I don't even know
[00:51:10] I don't know have you ever seen Dan Whitney videos like before? Yeah, of course
[00:51:13] Yeah, just regular guy Mike diesel used to pretend that he knew him before he was Larry. That's awesome
[00:51:19] Well, he was a florida stand up
[00:51:21] Uh, no, he's like a florida guy who called into a radio show
[00:51:25] He would like call into radio shows his different characters and eventually the Larry the cable guy character was a hit
[00:51:31] Get the fuck out of here. Yeah
[00:51:33] Jesus christ
[00:51:34] Yeah, I don't know
[00:51:35] I don't think he had much of a career before that blue collar combinator thing because jeff fox where they blew them all up
[00:51:40] Yeah, Ron whites the one that it's like cool. It's just to like Ron whites the only one that was like actually any funny
[00:51:47] Yeah, tater salad. Yeah
[00:51:50] because real baby
[00:51:52] Bill Engle the bill Engle show. Yeah, everyone women pay they look like they're waiting for a bus
[00:51:59] Why are you watching women p?
[00:52:01] Why are you supposed to look interesting while they pee bill?
[00:52:06] What the fuck is your point
[00:52:08] Oh
[00:52:10] Fuck oh, you know what we didn't talk about that we said we were gonna talk about on the bonus is erwin dude. Oh fuck. Yeah. We should
[00:52:18] That's a fucking good one. Yeah, I just mentioned mike diesel and I forgot completely about erwin erwin
[00:52:26] He changed it
[00:52:28] He did yeah, why would you change your name to that? Uh, I guess he doesn't want people to know that he's jewish
[00:52:34] Yeah
[00:52:37] Well erwin and the way the guy looks
[00:52:41] Yeah, this guy looks like
[00:52:43] He looks if if you've been following me for on twitter for a while back when I was eddy cum
[00:52:48] My app my abby was
[00:52:51] Erwin hanging off that swing set where did you find this just such a fucking he takes the best picture
[00:52:58] He's awesome. There's one with him just sitting in a chair and at the back of a stage
[00:53:02] He's morbidly a morbidly fucking obese. He has a musta mustache. He looks like he's like I look like ron
[00:53:09] Jeremy and he does but like
[00:53:11] Looking like ron Jeremy isn't a good thing
[00:53:14] Right, but you're a good looking guy. He has one good part of his body
[00:53:19] He could be an ugly just some fucking guy
[00:53:23] Never fox
[00:53:25] Works it who knows where yeah, yeah erwin some fucking he's he's a he used to run open mics in
[00:53:33] DC he ran the ej's landing. Yeah, co-op co-op co-op comedy. What the fuck name is that even?
[00:53:39] I don't know yeah
[00:53:40] I feel bad with erwin because he's just like a guy that sucks at comedy
[00:53:44] He's not like right and I used to be really fuck. I used to fucking bully the shit out of that man
[00:53:49] And I was like 17 years old. He was 40
[00:53:52] He did he hosted the first open mic he ever did and
[00:53:58] He was like
[00:54:00] What how do you think I did to like me and
[00:54:03] Jordan Owens and Jordan's like yeah, just keep at it man. I was like honestly and he was like yeah
[00:54:09] I was like you have no business doing comedy. I was like I know it's your first time
[00:54:13] But like you're just really not fucking funny. That's like there's nothing in your person. You really said that to him
[00:54:19] Yeah, I was mean as shit. That's incredible. Yeah, I was like there's nothing in your personality
[00:54:24] resembles like a funny person
[00:54:26] Yeah, I don't like under you don't have like the prerequisite
[00:54:29] You know a sense of humor to be a good comedian
[00:54:33] So many people
[00:54:35] I know but I was like six six seven months in and I'm like so funny. Yeah, who's jr over here?
[00:54:41] first open mic
[00:54:43] Because I also remember that was like I think Jason weems was just getting started
[00:54:47] Yeah, yeah, he'd been doing comedy like one or two weeks
[00:54:49] Yeah, and he did that open mic and he did like 20 minutes and crushed yeah, and it was so funny
[00:54:56] Really? Well no one was there no one was ever at that. I'm sure but he was all fun. Yeah. Hmm
[00:55:02] Yeah, we just fucking hilarious. Yeah, Erwin is
[00:55:05] I feel bad telling I can't I don't know if I can oh you got a real good with
[00:55:09] Yeah, maybe sorry said his name. I said his whole name. Yeah, it's pretty fucking damning story
[00:55:20] Anyway, um, let's talk about another guy
[00:55:23] Do you know any stories about a different guy? Oh, yeah, this guy erwin dickfield
[00:55:29] He says uh cousin
[00:55:31] I forgot about this guy's yes, so said dickfield has a friend named erwin dickfield
[00:55:40] They're related to each other
[00:55:45] Oh, yeah, so erwin dickfield one time
[00:55:51] Yeah, this other guy we know he is this like fucking this big idiot roommate this guy chris
[00:55:56] That was like who never worked he just was always on the couch in their apartment like this guy was like 611
[00:56:02] And he would just take up the entire couch just lay down and playing like uh
[00:56:07] He's playing some like online like final fantasy online or something in the dark with the air conditioner said to like 50 degrees
[00:56:15] and he'd be like
[00:56:17] What's going on kid?
[00:56:18] Let's say like had this like weird accent. He was going on kid. How you doing kid?
[00:56:22] And uh chris what do you do? He's like I sell beer for the red skins
[00:56:26] This is the job. He said he had but it's a stadium. Yeah, but he never left the apartment
[00:56:31] So I don't think he was employed. We're watching the red skins on tv right now dude right now
[00:56:37] Like he says oh, oh, yeah, okay. It's on tv. You can't just fucking wake up to sell that bit
[00:56:45] Sorry
[00:56:47] uh, it would be like
[00:56:49] um movies said this
[00:56:52] So
[00:56:54] Yeah, I guess they were at like a a bar one night
[00:56:57] And uh that guy had been hitting on this woman that was like obviously a lesbian. Oh really? Yeah, and
[00:57:05] I heard this story from like three other people and it's about a fictional guy. Yeah. It's about
[00:57:11] This uh his team did sess cousin
[00:57:13] They
[00:57:18] So chris the roommate had been hitting on this
[00:57:22] On this fucking this woman that was like clearly a lesbian at the end of the night
[00:57:26] She like goes home to do lesbian shit. He's like, ah struck out or whatever
[00:57:30] And uh that fictional guy and his girlfriend are like, well, you can come have a threesome with us. I guess
[00:57:37] Is this oh, man? I don't know. I can't
[00:57:39] I can't you're into deep deep deep deep. It's too late
[00:57:43] It's too late. No, we gotta we gotta switch this one's gotta be the premium one
[00:57:47] All right, this story is too fucking mean
[00:57:49] I've told it to like maybe and I didn't even know I heard it like third of hands, you know
[00:57:54] That's too late. You tell it you've heard the story. No, no because it's already fucking gossip
[00:58:00] It's not my story somebody told me stop
[00:58:03] I don't know if this is right, but so apparently this guy erwin dickfield
[00:58:06] Invites this this giant mongoloid back to his home
[00:58:13] uh to have a threesome with him and his
[00:58:16] girlfriend and uh
[00:58:19] Apparently erwin dickfield
[00:58:21] Uh
[00:58:23] We're just beating off
[00:58:26] While uh this man just savagely fucked a girlfriend
[00:58:30] Yeah, I guess he some of us said he couldn't get it up or yeah, he could get hard diggling himself. It was just like
[00:58:39] Fingering robbing his penis like it was a clit wall a man fucked his girlfriend
[00:58:44] That's a well-known kink though like the the cothole you think yeah the fuck my wife thing
[00:58:51] Yeah
[00:58:52] Yeah, well, I mean this is something that's this is something that erwin that dick field. Yeah, he's into I feel so bad
[00:59:01] How do you know i'm gonna do i'm gonna bleep his last name?
[00:59:04] Okay, that's good. Yeah, that's good
[00:59:07] The anti-Semitic content fans account is gonna find him though. I'm sure yeah, he found stops office
[00:59:15] Have we you like you said the name. Yeah, but he didn't even say it like he was
[00:59:20] Examine like yeah, I mentioned like briefly in passing and he somehow found it. That's hilarious. Yeah good for him another great episode at
[00:59:29] Stop comedy at nick maulin at fuck he kikes not knows
[00:59:38] Oh man, that is how many of our fans do you think are just
[00:59:42] Anti-Semitic or like alt right a lot of them because a lot of them come over from uh
[00:59:47] When me and stop did the kumi. Oh, did you guys see the spike after that? Yeah, of course
[00:59:53] I mean I stayed heavy promoting this shit on all of the bad boy networks. Yeah, I promoted on they've been waiting for a porter recon
[01:00:01] Ralsnake podcast. Yeah, they're literally
[01:00:04] We have been hitting that at hard place. This is the number one MMA podcast in New York
[01:00:10] When Lance colt fights, uh, dirk
[01:00:13] Benson next week at UFC 82. I can't wait. He's gonna choke him out during the talking rear real real naked chokes
[01:00:21] We're talking armbars komoras kimosabes
[01:00:25] Kimora kimosabis fucking reverse cowgirl adult carot
[01:00:31] What if that's how you won? Yeah, that's a submission man. Yeah, there's this guy. He's got a black belt. Okay, fifth degree
[01:00:39] And he's you know full contact
[01:00:42] We're talking big big time baby and I cannot wait to see that fight
[01:00:48] You're ready for her. Yeah, we're gonna have actually in the premium of content
[01:00:52] We're starting a new MMA podcast called hammerfisting. Yeah, you're gonna really want to take that out. Oh
[01:00:58] I'm gonna fuck with him. Oh my fucking you're in the fucking head. Is that a good prank?
[01:01:06] Yeah, that's a really that's a good
[01:01:08] You can't troll me nobody trolls me luice
[01:01:13] Who's that you mean luice dickfield?
[01:01:26] There's just be a town called dickfield or dick town dick town dick town is the podcast it's yeah
[01:01:34] Dictown is the alternate universe that you listen to Seth has his own podcast. I heard it
[01:01:39] I mean it can't believe he broke into the Anthony kumio studios. Yeah, yeah podcast. Who is that uh the Chinese got a great
[01:01:46] Oh, I don't know. I think that guy died. I think I I heard from somebody else
[01:01:51] I mean, I don't know the plan, but I think Seth's just gonna have a different POC guest
[01:01:55] Oh boy
[01:02:00] Well, you know hopefully well, that's fine if that's what he plans to do
[01:02:04] But I mean we're gonna lock up the equipment real tight. So yeah, yeah, yeah
[01:02:08] I don't know if you can get another one, but uh, maybe his cousin Ralph might be able to help
[01:02:13] Yeah, I think Ralph might have been a couple beanies. Yeah, I think Ralph might swing by have a couple or maybe his maybe his friend
[01:02:21] uh, you know erwin dickfield erwin erwin and Ralph should hang out
[01:02:27] That would be a lot of fun. Oh boy
[01:02:32] Yeah, why does fucking gay gee was clown out here? Yeah, we've got this fucking you know, I look kind of like Ron Jeremy
[01:02:40] Yeah, let me see your dick then. Yeah, you fucking talker like you
[01:02:43] was like when erwin was on show posters and it was like six black guys
[01:02:49] Yeah, I don't know how he got in on that click, but like it was just always like, you know, like did you see that video?
[01:02:56] James de committee. Yeah
[01:02:58] Big Fred big to love all those guys all those like PG county comics
[01:03:03] The fight
[01:03:05] Video is the funniest
[01:03:07] Follow us a fight at an open mic in like p.m. County somewhere. It was no that was that was erwin host that
[01:03:13] Yeah, it was some like temple hills open mic and it's a guy's like lamarkus way too violent Jackson
[01:03:20] the entertainer
[01:03:25] I guess they've been stealing scotch oplands name for 80 years
[01:03:32] Some guy is something too funny. Yeah too funny too business hilarious
[01:03:38] Entertainment LLC. I love that shit wait every way real dark black entertainer
[01:03:46] super super dark black guy
[01:03:49] LLC
[01:03:50] Trademark sign international executive black guy or it's just and and larius, but then the s is a dollar
[01:04:00] And larius entertainment presents two funny tuesday's
[01:04:04] two
[01:04:08] Larius
[01:04:15] Erwin laur
[01:04:17] Tom iris was just on one of those shows
[01:04:21] Like yeah, and then like the middle of pennsylvania and some like urban show and it's him in like three middle-aged black women comics
[01:04:28] That's they'll let those guys keep working
[01:04:31] I mean I was I fucking loved laurants laurants is so fun. So it's funny. I mean, you know, he's whatever he's not
[01:04:42] He cracks me up dude. I was watching I was watching a laurin so his video the other day
[01:04:46] Where he's like doing that thing about how he's like he's got glasses so he can't be a thug
[01:04:51] And he's fucking like going up to the mic stand all cross on he's like who's more fuck i'm supposed to kill is this him right here
[01:04:57] Oh shit there he is. He's a fucking he's just a goofball. Yeah, but yeah, no, he's great. He's really funny
[01:05:06] Also really fun good prutes performing really good stuff about gay people
[01:05:10] Oh, yeah, no bit immediately after that and that video is like shit half of you probably know a faggot
[01:05:19] One time I did a tony wood show at
[01:05:22] climate tony is fucking hilarious. Yeah tony's a good guy climate
[01:05:26] Look with a k climate climate my own shit. I come on so I went there
[01:05:32] I saw tony the night before you that come through climate tomorrow night
[01:05:36] You know we get we drink some grand marnie a
[01:05:39] And uh, there's this guy david that was on the real world like one of the early seasons
[01:05:45] It was a black guy
[01:05:47] David something and
[01:05:49] He was a dc comic I guess with like martin mornin's like back in the day it was dc comic
[01:05:55] And uh, his sister was there. I guess he was hanging out of the show. I guess tony knew him
[01:06:01] and his sister was there she was just
[01:06:04] You know completely blackout heckling every single person on stage. Jesus, you know, just you know
[01:06:11] Tony's there tony gets in late like the show is already off the rails of course
[01:06:17] And um, I was about to go up next i'm like i'm just going in the lion's den, you know, this woman's gonna destroy me
[01:06:23] Mm-hmm, and there's this guy that went up before me this guy his name was detroit boat
[01:06:36] I swear to god this guy's name is yeah, my name is caprice classic
[01:06:42] Detroit is known for car soon. Yeah, it's not necessarily like a nautical type of vibe. Yeah
[01:06:47] He's only Michigan so he's trying to do his act. She's interrupting him and he's like someone gonna tell his bitch to shut up
[01:06:55] She stands up as soon. She he says bitch and she just smacks across the face
[01:07:03] I was there the night that detroit boat
[01:07:07] Got smacked across the face by the sister of a guy that was on real world to los angeles
[01:07:12] That's so what was yeah all those all those guys used to come hang out these two eans samans open mic
[01:07:17] I remember the guy I forget his name chris something. He was the host of rap city. No, I know he talking about yeah
[01:07:24] Chris Thomas. Yeah
[01:07:26] rap city the basement was the guy that worked at the wizards games remember well chris Thomas did
[01:07:31] Original host. I don't remember, but I know chris had a ton of cranks big tick right big ticker
[01:07:37] Uh, he was the original host of rap. Okay, so maybe it's like season one or something, but uh
[01:07:43] Yeah, he was at an open mic one time and there was this one guy losing his mind and he's like how are you all not going crazy?
[01:07:50] Do you not know who this is and he's like this was the original host of rap city. Yeah, you were like, okay
[01:07:56] you know he was famous as shit and
[01:07:58] he it just he would
[01:08:01] Come and just like if you got in a corner with him dude
[01:08:04] If it was you and him one-on-one. He just wouldn't stop telling you about how he used to be famous
[01:08:08] Yeah, it was just like he would not stop on that. That's the saddest shit
[01:08:12] And he would be doing his like
[01:08:13] Arsenio hall impression or something like he would just be doing very dated impressions and shit like that and like
[01:08:19] Up until like two years ago. Yeah, which I don't know
[01:08:24] It's pretty sad. Yep. That's depressing. It's a shitty world to live in comedy sucks people burn out
[01:08:29] That's what I thought. That's not us dude that podcast is gonna keep growing
[01:08:32] There's actually a new feature on patreon where you're not allowed to delete your pledge
[01:08:37] Yeah, so
[01:08:38] Guess why we have your social security information. You don't like this
[01:08:42] Play just because the first bonus was bad. Oh, yeah a bunch of them really budged. No, I just want to make you feel bad
[01:08:50] Why did you say that oh fuck I just
[01:08:53] I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Nice man. Nice dude. Well, you get we gotta have one puke
[01:08:58] That's how we know that's our time to end that is a good at yeah
[01:09:01] The cat the puke was cat pukes Nick pukes. No, I think I got an ulcer or something
[01:09:06] I don't know probably um, but yeah, that's been an hour and eight minutes. Oh, okay. Don. I guess
[01:09:36] Oh