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Ep. 195 - Coomberg

Cum Town | Regular | 02/20/2020

[00:00:00] Thought we already go. Oh no, but I didn't want it. Oh, then if you want that information
[00:00:04] That's okay that you were looking up nudes of whoa Vicki who well, let's check and see how old she is
[00:00:09] But check that first. Let's get that. Okay. Yeah, she's 19
[00:00:14] So in the zone
[00:00:17] Bad news bitch little be retweeted her and I got the thinking I wonder what her it's look like
[00:00:25] Anyway
[00:00:27] Hello everyone welcome to come town. This is great. Somebody commented on one of my Instagram posts and has nothing to do with
[00:00:34] The post itself just says Auschwitz theme park six million flags
[00:00:39] 21 minutes ago and then 19 minutes ago. They tweeted
[00:00:42] commented Auschwitz theme park six million flags
[00:00:47] Just to make sure yep, oh no just in case that you didn't see it
[00:00:52] Yeah, I like this part of the show now where I just go through Instagram comments
[00:00:58] And pick one guy be like wow great post man. Nice job. You fucking idiot. Nice job ass ass face
[00:01:05] Yeah, ass we were talking about that like how white guys you should not know how to curse at people mm-hmm
[00:01:10] You freaking ass shit
[00:01:13] Yeah, and then that evolved into that horrible internet way of cussing. Yeah douche nozzle. Yeah
[00:01:23] Boo yeah, that's the thing that's embarrassing the most about I'm glad I'm off Twitter, but
[00:01:29] Because you know the people you don't just you don't agree with or easy to just sort of write off
[00:01:34] Sure the people you do agree with to do embarrassing things or there's a lot of them
[00:01:38] I've tried because I've tried to say I've tried to like say to a couple of people
[00:01:41] But you know during Iowa everyone's like they're gonna rat fuck him
[00:01:45] And it's like okay, maybe one or two guys can say that yeah, we can't all say it
[00:01:50] That's the that's the most annoying part about fucking Twitter and everyone talks exactly everyone talks the same
[00:01:56] It's like if someone says something kind of funny. Mm-hmm now now everyone is the something doer rat fuckers is dumb is like piss
[00:02:03] Baby ass clown. Yeah, and and and it's a little better
[00:02:06] I tried to floated by friends. I'm like was everyone saying rat fuck now, and they're like it's at accurately describes
[00:02:12] What's happening? He looks like a rat. I'm like alright. Okay. Oh, that's a problem never mind. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah
[00:02:19] It has nothing to do. It's you don't have to make it political. It's about language. Yes like I all I'm doing is saying
[00:02:25] Hey, man, your shoes are in tight. Yeah, it's absolutely. That's it
[00:02:29] We don't all have to say it you don't need to be a piss baby garbage to fire
[00:02:34] a
[00:02:36] literal dumpster come
[00:02:38] Human why does everyone say something is the blank?
[00:02:42] Doer or whatever
[00:02:44] Do what you know when people everyone on Twitter calls themselves the yeah, yeah, yeah, there's something doer or something
[00:02:50] You know what I mean? Yeah, mm-hmm. The pizza eater has logged on. Yeah. Well, it's yeah
[00:02:55] It's all just because that shit because it that shit used to be it was
[00:02:59] Not funny at a certain point, but it was like in a kuchraman to being sure to being funny in other ways
[00:03:07] Yes, yes, and then like media people got on Twitter
[00:03:11] Mm-hmm, and then they just figured out the like tonality and the static of all of this yes, and then they repeat things
[00:03:17] It's all repeating. It's all repeating. It's like, you know, just retweeting an article and being like you love to see it
[00:03:23] Yeah, or normal day. No, he's having a normal one fucking losers
[00:03:29] Is that the fucking worst part about the internet man? It's just like right everyone just thinks
[00:03:34] Doing the thing somebody that is funny did
[00:03:37] Six years ago. Yeah makes you fun. Well, they're not they're just using the language
[00:03:42] that's sort of
[00:03:44] Like you know when when people who are actually like the people that are funny are funny for other reasons
[00:03:49] Of course not because they said words that way. Absolutely. Yeah, no
[00:03:53] I'm not sitting on the originators of the thing the originators who have now been
[00:04:04] Yes, you get all the originators banned our IP to prospector
[00:04:09] All right, all right Peter the boy that was a guy you thought killed himself. Yeah, but now he's actually just banned now
[00:04:16] He's banned and he's probably gonna kill
[00:04:18] And I don't care I already got it out of my system. I already cared once
[00:04:24] Yeah, the boy who cried wolf of course. That's what you get prospector
[00:04:31] Welcome to join us here in my my living room. I tore the blinds off the walls. Yeah, we got a beautiful sun coming in
[00:04:38] I don't know how to fix it
[00:04:41] There's Sun there's filters. There's Volvo parts everywhere
[00:04:45] I was in beautiful San Diego all weekend San Diego San Gia San Gia San Gia
[00:04:52] Yeah, I learned only in San Gia, go
[00:04:56] Yeah
[00:04:57] Yeah, dude. It's crazy. So yeah, my uncle passed away and it went to his like memorial
[00:05:01] All right P and he was he was like a house painter. So I guess he had boys that were like, you know, like daily
[00:05:08] Yeah, like day labors. Absolutely. Yeah, and some guys spoke at the memorial and somebody else had to like read his thing
[00:05:15] For him and it was like a story about like when they got chased by bees
[00:05:22] I'm like, this is I made this up. Yeah, I made this guy up and they came and they were steamed and there were too many
[00:05:31] pointy bees
[00:05:33] To spooky for me the pointy bees
[00:05:38] It's like this is unreal
[00:05:40] You're just laughing you have to turn into tears. Yeah, you have to pretend you're crying
[00:05:48] Somebody's like are you okay? I'm like, yeah, I'm just racist
[00:05:53] I'm laughing so racist. I just turned to tears. Yeah, it's so funny seeing extended family, too
[00:05:59] They're like what have you been up to? I'm like, ah, I'm not done. I'm still I'm failing. I'm still an alcoholic
[00:06:04] Don't look up anything about me. Whatever you do. Don't look me up. I
[00:06:10] Have drunk yeah, and I live in a little box and giant. I'm a pedophile actually don't yep
[00:06:16] Yeah, it's illegal to look now
[00:06:18] I'm on the sex offender registry if you look me up you'll find evidence from my trial
[00:06:22] Which will then also implicate you it will implicate you you will be on a watch list just googling my name downloads child pornography
[00:06:30] So I don't even do it. Yeah. Yes
[00:06:32] Yes, don't look me up. Oh your daughter's you're going to medical school
[00:06:40] Yeah, we can talk about that
[00:06:43] Fuck yeah, yeah, I loved I loved over here my mom tell one of her best friends when they were catching up
[00:06:50] I just heard her on the phone. She was just like it's yes
[00:06:54] Everything is going very good the starro and his friends have a radio show that a lot of people listen to and then I just she just took a
[00:07:03] Beat and she was like
[00:07:07] It it's called
[00:07:13] Yeah, no somebody literally I was like my mom's second cousin or whatever was like what's what's your podcast called and I just said
[00:07:21] Don't worry about it. Yeah, absolutely not. Yeah
[00:07:31] What are you gonna do?
[00:07:34] Damn did you get to do any surfing?
[00:07:37] No, I didn't the rental car plays upgraded me to like a charger RT though. Oh nice. That was fun
[00:07:43] Just fucking speeding just getting into hacks. Yeah
[00:07:47] I'm running over pedestrians. Yeah, I'm more I'm a kind of like an accident guy. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I love I love getting into accidents
[00:07:57] You know the funniest thing that probably happened when we were gone was that that lady was paint that Pete
[00:08:01] But it's speaking over the the rat fucker himself. Mm-hmm. You see that lady pretending to be Nigerian
[00:08:07] Is that true though? I don't because I got people were like it is people were like she was pretending to be Nigerian
[00:08:13] And then they the receipts on that were fucking like one tweet where the Nigerian guy said this is Liz
[00:08:20] Yeah
[00:08:22] And he would just always talk about how I mean it is possible. He's just a horny Nigerian
[00:08:26] Mm-hmm just wants to fuck this lady. Yeah, but it is funny to think about just some dumb bitch pretending to be a Nigerian man
[00:08:33] To be pro Pete but it is
[00:08:35] Yeah, I can't wait to vote for Pete booty booty that booty that
[00:08:48] I love that he is gay. I love that he is getting wrapped in his house
[00:08:57] That is right. I am voting for him. Yeah, it would be awesome
[00:09:02] She's like look we have a record of an audio recording of him, and she's heard doing the voice
[00:09:07] Mm-hmm. I am not this yeah, she's doing text the speech the text for all those tweets
[00:09:13] My name is Lisa do do
[00:09:16] Munkers meet Allah
[00:09:20] Is Lee Lee's a chair
[00:09:24] Damn did why African though like who's I doesn't make any sense and they're like that's what I mean
[00:09:30] It doesn't make any sense. It's like pretending to be a POC is one thing right pretending to be a straight-up
[00:09:35] Just Nigerian person. It doesn't make any sense. Oh
[00:09:39] American black people like Bernie. Yeah, well, I'm gonna get even black people to like be the darkest on earth
[00:09:49] We see you you're American blacks and we raise you African straight from the source I raise you some of them Blafrican brothers
[00:09:57] As a black freakin either that's what's so great about it. It's either way. It makes no sense. Yeah, either
[00:10:05] They're they pertain to be a fucking Nigerian guy or there is a Nigerian guy good on this. I think so. Oh wow
[00:10:11] Oh hell yeah, dude. I knew there was a reason I got ten foot cords Nick is making coffee right now. He's in his kitchen
[00:10:19] Yeah, this rules he's got donut shop regular cake ups a lot of people don't know this but when I'm
[00:10:25] When we're doing the podcast I'm often multitasking. Mm-hmm. I'm writing love letters
[00:10:31] To my wife is it war I?
[00:10:34] Can't wait until we have that where the bitch has to go to war. Yes, man gets to stay home with his penis. That's right stay home
[00:10:41] Make a make a softball league even though the MLB already exists. I want to get to a world where
[00:10:48] Like a man's cock has treated like a newborn baby
[00:10:51] You know yeah, we're they're respected as much as an infinite so the Titanic is sinking and they're like get the night get the prettiest
[00:10:59] Cox on board first
[00:11:02] No, like what a beautiful cock beautiful penis
[00:11:07] Captain
[00:11:10] That little naval whistle, I'm gonna get one of those and start cat calling women with it not a bad plan
[00:11:15] Yeah, if it's if it's a fat lady you get a tugboat with yeah, damn I want those on the soundboard
[00:11:22] This is gonna turn into the whistle
[00:11:30] Those are different than the tugboat and there's a yeah
[00:11:34] Naval whistle yeah, no take it time bro. Yeah, there's the one that was like they would use on Star Trek also
[00:11:40] I don't remember that. I'm not I'm not that big of a whistle guy
[00:11:44] Yeah, cuz I was always jealous. I couldn't whistle with my fingers. Mm-hmm. I've done it maybe the whites in my life
[00:11:54] Yes, maybe it's a video some fat guy dressed in the full naval uniform. He looks like Captain crunch
[00:12:01] Captain Captain lunch
[00:12:03] Third is a whirbling sound similar to what a canary would make okay
[00:12:13] A field
[00:12:15] Our sound or fluttering your tongue on the roof of your mouth hurry up motherfucker with this what?
[00:12:26] Starting holding the bosons call in the proper manner is
[00:12:31] The low pitch I am in a clenched position. I'll explain those later sounds like this
[00:12:37] Okay, the next one is the
[00:12:47] Still holding it in a low form
[00:12:56] I don't know that one sucked
[00:12:59] Third is just sucks it boat
[00:13:05] I'm interested in this one. Yeah, this one better be good. I'm just a curved to a clench position
[00:13:11] I just got stuck fucking stinks
[00:13:21] Let's put him on blast
[00:13:25] Dan maker why you maker my cock heart and suck at you fucking piece of shit that one suddenly
[00:13:31] There's no art to the way he whistles
[00:13:49] Cancel bullshit once you head back to tiny gyms uniform depot and get fucked in your ass
[00:13:56] Yeah, go return that uniform why don't you go back and fuck in the guy who sold it to you?
[00:14:04] Yeah, they're great or whatever the fuck that guy says
[00:14:08] Yeah, why don't you get fucked by Tony the tiger who's moonlighting as a uniform salesman for petite fat man? Yeah
[00:14:18] Yeah, here we go, okay
[00:14:20] Star Trek okay, yeah, that's much that's better for sure
[00:14:28] Jim maker can suck my day
[00:14:31] Yeah, that's the Star Trek whistle. This is driving the cat nuts. Yeah the cat is fucking
[00:14:38] I like that one. Yeah, I love that which Star Trek the original
[00:14:44] Mm-hmm my boy out there. Yeah, they got my boy Bill shakes Bill Shatner. Yeah, who's now selling on TV. He's a spokesman for
[00:14:59] Sleep apnea machine cleaners. Mm-hmm and I almost I trusted him so much
[00:15:04] I almost purchased it
[00:15:06] But I went with a different kind because what he was advertising uses ozone to clean things and from what I understand
[00:15:13] That's part of what's fucking up the ozone layer. No, the ozone is but it's good that we have ozone
[00:15:19] So should I buy a cleaner that has ozone in it? Yeah, you want to make as much ozone
[00:15:24] Yeah, no, you want the ozone layer actually you can make your own ozone at home. How?
[00:15:30] Through electrolysis
[00:15:33] No, I mean it wait is it electrolysis isn't that when you make ozone anytime burn air like anytime in static
[00:15:41] Electricity that creates ozone if I'm remembering eighth grade signs correctly. I don't think you're right
[00:15:46] But so should we be rubbing our fucking feet on carpets and shit and making sparks be petting the cat backwards
[00:15:53] Is that how we save the fucking ozone layer?
[00:15:58] Ozone creation
[00:16:01] Ozone is produced naturally in the stratosphere when highly energetic solar radiation strikes molecules of oxygen O2 and causes the two atoms
[00:16:08] Split apart in a process called photo lysis if a freedadum
[00:16:12] Elides with another O2 joins up forming ozone
[00:16:16] O3 which yeah, that's what I said. No, it's it's close to you said now you did say no bitch
[00:16:25] Ozone creation electrolysis
[00:16:27] So O3 huh, that's three of them bitches and oxygen is O2
[00:16:31] Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so yeah, no during the electrolysis of water ozone is generated at the anode and the hydrogen gas is produced at the cathode
[00:16:41] So through electrolysis you will create ozone. I did know that it was a byproduct of electrolysis
[00:16:47] Electrolysis is the shade you'd use don't they do that to like
[00:16:52] Like when a when like a lady has varicose veins don't they do that on her body? They use it to tighten a pussy up
[00:16:58] They have a prodding right?
[00:17:03] A prod
[00:17:09] That'd be great to just shame women forever and lose pussy just start going into Michael Winslow sound effects. Yep. You just put it in you're like damn
[00:17:17] I don't feel shit
[00:17:19] Get your shit
[00:17:23] Leaving
[00:17:24] Just already out of the apartment you're like boom boom, but oh, no, no, no, no, no
[00:17:42] Lose out the front window. She's done the blog say bye
[00:17:46] Bye, what are you up to next week? Yeah, let's I'll see you again. Let's get Thai food. I'm just looking at the neighbor across the street
[00:17:53] Yeah, I fucked her. I fucked it, but her pussy was big pussy was big. You're watching a show too old time
[00:17:59] Then what are you doing? Do you want to play red dead redemption with me?
[00:18:04] Sir come down here right now
[00:18:07] You're under arrest for being the worst member of the neighborhood
[00:18:13] Do you want to hang out yeah, they're calling it autistic gentrification
[00:18:17] And it's pissing everyone off
[00:18:24] It's a new type of gentrification in which mental retars are moving into the neighborhood
[00:18:31] Yeah, this used to be a family owned dry cleaner now. It's just four game stops next to each other. It's a it's a
[00:18:38] Funko land
[00:18:40] And a legally operated Funko land you can get into arguments about the true color of Sonic's arms
[00:18:48] Yes, it's nothing but all those gay ass little board game stores that have yeah very complicated board games that only fat men with
[00:18:56] Ponytails play I like cuz I tried to get it because book board games look nice under a coffee table sure
[00:19:01] Oh, and I bought pandemic and betrayal on house
[00:19:05] Whatever and I will never ever play this
[00:19:10] Yeah, it will never happen once no absolutely not cotan I can do here in there cotan with yeah every once in a while
[00:19:17] But even that it's like yeah, it took some coaxing to get me into cotan absolutely
[00:19:21] I was too busy playing real games like modern warfare. That's right or mine or mine games. Yeah, mine games with bitches
[00:19:28] Yeah, see I don't need to I don't need no trivial pursuit when I'm emotionally manipulating
[00:19:32] A woman who cares for me into cutting her cutting herself
[00:19:38] Prove you love me, but yes, there's something see them on
[00:19:43] I call them tally marks when we count how many I love you
[00:19:49] One I love you a to I love you
[00:19:51] Yeah, my favorite part tally marks is fucking doing that diagonal that represents for the fifth. Yeah, nothing felt as good as that
[00:20:08] In the five done felt so good
[00:20:12] Mm-hmm. I just let yeah, I honestly felt like I was doing business when I was mm-hmm what I got the five
[00:20:17] Yeah, I had some I had some other shit that was like uniquely like fat autism kids
[00:20:24] That I forgot about that that fuck I could
[00:20:28] That I wish I could remember because I wanted I wanted to bring it up damn. Sorry bro
[00:20:32] It'll come up, but it was on the level of like being afraid of packs on yeah
[00:20:36] Oh, yeah, yeah being afraid of that store being so afraid of it
[00:20:41] Just seeing the mannequins being like fuck
[00:20:43] And being so happy when like some quicksilver randomly made it to like marshals. Mm-hmm. You're like thank God
[00:20:50] I can put this on my turf. I have to go in the packs on the bike. Yeah, they made
[00:20:57] We're in puka shells like a choker
[00:20:59] Dude, I was so happy when I found an exhale quicksilver. I was like thank God, dude. I don't have to go in there
[00:21:05] Yeah, or like a wallet that was velcro that had a slot for a wallet chain
[00:21:10] Mm-hmm. You're like fuck. What am I gonna put this put in here my membership to being gay
[00:21:15] That card my blockbuster card, bro. My block my pride and joy
[00:21:20] Do you ever have one of the gold blockbuster cards? I never did never could say that I did. Mm-hmm
[00:21:24] I think I have one when I was like 17. Oh, yeah. Yeah, what is that? What did that denote? Nothing. I can't remember
[00:21:31] I think maybe it was like
[00:21:33] You get a free video every month or something. No, it was maybe before they did completely ending rental fees
[00:21:39] There is like, you know, I don't even remember. I just remember I had a different color
[00:21:44] I don't know it might not even have been gold. It could have been like silver or something
[00:21:47] Yeah, but it was a speci it was special. Of course. I had a special block. I'm better than everybody else. Did you work a blockbuster?
[00:21:53] Oh, yeah, yeah
[00:21:54] I was talking about that with Adam the other day because we're talking about how you haven't seen any movie ever and
[00:21:59] So funny that you work the blockbuster. I worked the blockbuster for a summer and I ran up Martin Scorsese movies basically
[00:22:05] Oh, okay watch can't comment because like that's the thing I had such my parents were not like culturally American at all
[00:22:12] Yeah, like all this shit. I missed out on so much shit
[00:22:15] That just everybody else did and knew about I had no idea
[00:22:19] Yeah, if it wasn't just on TV that I could find myself and my mom was like really nervous about us becoming like bad kids
[00:22:26] Yeah, so we weren't allowed to watch anything cool. Yeah, no rated-arm movies. No nothing. Oh, really?
[00:22:32] Yeah, I watched a lot of like dude the funniest when there was a kids who couldn't see PG 13 movies since they were 13
[00:22:39] And I was like damn did your like mom hold your penis when you go to the bathroom also
[00:22:47] Mom I gotta go. Yeah, I'm 12 and a half
[00:22:50] But my mom has to come over to hold my penis in the bathroom so I don't piss on myself
[00:22:57] Yeah, I've ruined a lot of my pajama bottoms so she just kind of took it upon herself to hold my penis
[00:23:08] Yeah, I honestly was not allowed to watch most shit, but I did see King of comedy I saw
[00:23:14] What else did I see that summer?
[00:23:17] Just watch good fellas again
[00:23:20] If I was an Asian guy to have a special called the Ching of comedy Ching of comedy
[00:23:25] Mm-hmm. It's not bad. It isn't bad
[00:23:30] You get away with I'm kind of shocked Ken John hasn't done that
[00:23:34] He had a special I'm sure there was flow for it. I didn't watch but I'm sure was probably bad. Yeah
[00:23:42] Damn I can take a SHIT what from that bagel dude
[00:23:48] Yeah
[00:23:49] I'm gonna get this coffee going. Yeah get that coffee going dude, and while while everyone is here
[00:23:55] Why don't you come see me this weekend in DC? I'll be at the DC draft house
[00:24:00] Starting tomorrow Thursday the 20th through the 22nd and then two weeks from now
[00:24:06] I'll be at stand up live in Phoenix on the 5th March 5th
[00:24:12] And I'll be at 1 9 1 tool or 1 91 tool
[00:24:15] In Tucson, so buy your motherfucking tickets and see me and then I'm gonna be in fucking you're going back to Arizona
[00:24:22] Yeah, weren't you just there?
[00:24:24] Dude, that's what I thought and then it's been a fucking year and a half. I thought you were just in Phoenix or no
[00:24:31] No, no, that's coming up. I was in Tucson in Phoenix a year and a half ago. Damn. Yeah, I I
[00:24:37] I'm gonna go do shows out there. Yeah, dude. You should I did pretty good numbers in Phoenix. I love the desert
[00:24:41] I've not I don't like this just too scary. It's too scary. It's not for the fat in the supple. Yeah, it'll dry me out
[00:24:49] Dude, yeah, I I like to be somewhere with moisture. I should plug my dates to I guess I mean
[00:24:54] I'm in Nashville and Louisville and
[00:24:56] Then since an adding Indianapolis and Milwaukee in Chicago
[00:25:00] And that's all is the end of March and if you go to bands in town
[00:25:04] There's a website called bands in town. Yes, you got to search my name
[00:25:07] It's something like that
[00:25:11] All right, we're almost there. I don't know man. I used to have a website and they got fucked up by the print shop
[00:25:16] Just get another website, bro. I guess I find Nick my Mullen dot tour bands or something
[00:25:23] bands will make her dance
[00:25:28] bands
[00:25:29] bands in
[00:25:30] Town and then you search my oh here we go bands in town dot com slash Nick Mullen. Oh, there you go. 321 Nashville
[00:25:38] 322 Louisville
[00:25:40] 323 Cincinnati
[00:25:41] 324 in the Annapolis 325 Chicago 26 Milwaukee. Oh, this man's on the road bitch 27 Chicago 28 Chicago
[00:25:49] So in the March
[00:25:51] There's a tour we got two guys from Chicago two hard-dicks savages holding down to open up
[00:25:58] And then I do ten minutes of crowd work and then Q&A
[00:26:03] Yep, no, that's true Adam is gay next question. Yeah next question
[00:26:11] Yeah, mm-hmm. Yep. No, that's yeah, what was I thinking when I called him a bug?
[00:26:17] You know, I
[00:26:19] Couldn't tell you I kind of think about the artistic process
[00:26:23] Yeah, they go there apparently I think that the all most of the shows are fine
[00:26:29] But Louisville show the numbers are of this ball now that'll pick up
[00:26:33] I did good numbers in Louisville sure, but I just got to plug it
[00:26:36] Yeah, so people know bands in town.com slash Nick Mullen if you I don't think you've said Louisville once and if you want shirts
[00:26:43] Yeah, I haven't I don't really paid attention to go to stop without business
[00:26:47] I don't know if you're taking me seriously when I said I would have not prepared at all for this
[00:26:51] But if that's the effort I'm putting in the plugging the dates, we can see what happens when I go do the day
[00:27:00] If you're ready for just what could be described as a disaster
[00:27:06] But I will be on stage for an hour that that we can guarantee guarantee you I will be on stage
[00:27:12] Feet will be on a stage for a whole hour. I'm just saying we check his phone
[00:27:16] I've written one joke this year and it's not even I was trying to think about like
[00:27:20] You try to do like some kind of derailment thing about like like how hard it is to raise a girl
[00:27:25] You know how hard women have it because it's like you gotta raise them to
[00:27:29] You still want him to be nice. Yeah, they're society expects him to be nice, but then they can't be too nice
[00:27:36] Because then if the two nice to you know boys in school a retarded kids can ask him to prom right
[00:27:43] You do have that's there's a line you have to walk, you know
[00:27:46] You can't be the bitch telling a retard they they're not gonna take her to prom of course
[00:27:49] And I get you know absolutely because it's gonna be a it's gonna be live-streamed people gonna see that yes
[00:27:55] And you know I'm not saying anybody deserves to be raped, but the girl that broke a retard's heart
[00:28:01] Yeah, no, I think you got
[00:28:05] We get her a little mini skirt one way ticket to Pakistan sure a little real retard can do you know what I mean?
[00:28:11] What unchecked Pakistani retardation
[00:28:14] You know that's why it's hard to raise a girl. I
[00:28:21] Think you got something yeah, I ran it by one person. They're like yeah, don't just don't do stand I would I would just quit
[00:28:27] I would just not do stand up anymore. I would say that you've ruined your brain
[00:28:32] With I cast it. I have a pot. I have a thing that I want to do is a bit that I don't know what the context would be
[00:28:38] but it's just
[00:28:40] like
[00:28:41] A couple's counseling it's like a therapist and it's like a married couple's talking and it's like two guys
[00:28:47] Yeah, and like like 15 minutes into them talking. He's just like alright well
[00:28:51] Let me stop you right there. I think the first problem is that you're both a couple of fellas
[00:28:58] You always just went out got a little pussy maybe all your problems
[00:29:03] The premise is the existence of Christian
[00:29:06] Yeah, basically yeah, I guess that is
[00:29:11] conversion what if what if something that exists and definitely already is real was real but like I guess a little more polite
[00:29:18] Yeah, yeah
[00:29:22] Yeah, there's no context
[00:29:24] Just like helping them but the whole time you know, they're like well me go to you know
[00:29:29] They're like you know
[00:29:29] Do you guys express your feelings to each other because it seems like you're you're stuck in this kind of almost Mexican standoff
[00:29:36] where you don't want to be the one who
[00:29:38] Is expressing something for fear of rejection and that mutual fear of rejection kind of builds in this negative feedback loop
[00:29:44] I mean do you tell each other that you love each other you care for each other like well
[00:29:49] When we're making love and then he's like
[00:29:55] Listen, I thought I was helping two friends get along God making love in your ass
[00:30:02] All right, I'll take you on but no just no one gets fucked in the air not allowed to say that shit to me
[00:30:09] Yeah, oh, I like that he sticks with it. He's like all right. Well, you know, I'm a professional
[00:30:15] Yeah, and you have you seen that movie the Irishman?
[00:30:18] I've been feeling more like an Irishman vibe
[00:30:22] So I'll do I'll answer your questions and help you but you can never ever say that to me
[00:30:28] It's a line from the movie no, it isn't actually
[00:30:32] No, we've seen that movie planning. That's not you're not allowed to watch the movie
[00:30:36] It's actually a pretty gay movie. It's about a love triangle
[00:30:40] Jimmy and that's when he just hits them
[00:30:44] Yeah, don't you ever say Bobby the Nero is gay. Here's a spray bottle. Just sprays
[00:30:50] Stop it
[00:30:52] Yeah, that's how bad their insurances Bobby they have to stick with him Bobby the nice guy
[00:31:01] Oh, I like that. It was just Bobby the nice. Hey, it's me Bobby D the nice guy Bobby the nice guy you talking to me
[00:31:09] No, I'm just saying you shouldn't you shouldn't write girls?
[00:31:13] Yeah, I'm just a nice guy is yeah, and I'm just saying Queen you look beautiful to
[00:31:17] Know I'm just saying it was a really good post queen. That was a good post. Yeah, it's me Donnie Simpaneiro
[00:31:27] Hey, how you doing Danny? How you doing?
[00:31:30] Normalized dating sex workers. Hey, you know what it's a woman's choice
[00:31:36] Literally, what are you gonna do? You're gonna fucking tell a woman what she can do with a body and
[00:31:41] And post baby post it up. I love Queen. Yeah, give me your only fans Queen
[00:31:50] Everybody was there Frankie Frankie the Tanki Tommy Simpaneiro
[00:32:01] Mikey Mikey college sports guy that pretends to be a leftist but occasionally let's his true college show
[00:32:08] He's deeply pro police they then Frankie was there. Yeah
[00:32:14] Hey, my name's Antonio they them an auto
[00:32:24] Hey, I'm fucking genderqueer over here. Hey genderqueer
[00:32:28] Sometimes I put on a side look like a guy sure but every once in a while I put on a skirt
[00:32:32] Mm-hmm. What's wrong with that? I had one that was like there was like look something
[00:32:37] I wish I could remember it was like an Italian name that sounded trans. Mm-hmm. It was pretty good
[00:32:43] And I was thinking about it while driving that charger around hell. Yeah, dude. Just yeah the absolute power in a charger
[00:32:50] I'm just cutting people off
[00:32:52] Yeah, I'm fucking sad. I'm grieving. I'm on my way to the bathroom
[00:32:56] Oh
[00:32:59] Damn, what if I just threw up in the middle of podcast now that's the next step for the show
[00:33:04] On the mic is vomiting all over myself
[00:33:10] Just keep going. Yeah, how about a Chinese version of star worth
[00:33:19] A Chinese version job of the hut. He's like, uh, you know, he speaks the same. Mm-hmm
[00:33:24] And then Han Solo's like I guess I don't speak Chinese
[00:33:28] Yep, I don't sound like that. There we go. Mm-hmm. What would he look maybe he has one of those triangle hatters that Vietnamese
[00:33:34] I don't know what the you know, I never really understood that thing with Java
[00:33:37] So fucking Han Solo is him a bunch of money
[00:33:40] Yes, and he can't pay it back so Java just wants to turn him into a statue
[00:33:46] Did he doesn't he want him dead? No, he freezes him in carbonite just because but that's because they're gonna pay for him
[00:33:53] Darth Vader and she's gonna pay for him. Oh, oh, they want him. I think so. Oh, okay
[00:34:00] I don't remember. I don't remember why does Darth Vader want him
[00:34:03] What is that what is Darth Vader after in those movies? He wants to get princess Leia's pussy
[00:34:07] He wants to fuck his own daughter and suck his son's dick. I think I guess
[00:34:11] I don't know what he's after. I guess he's trying to kill Luke because he's a Jedi
[00:34:15] Yeah, he's trying to kill him or convince him to join the dark. Yeah, join the dark side. That's what it is. Mm-hmm. Yes
[00:34:21] I know I still understand the plot of the movie so no one has the force anymore everyone used to have it and no one has it
[00:34:27] No, everyone didn't use it a few guys. There's a lot of guys that had it a lot of guys used to back in the olden times
[00:34:33] But now it's just some dumb bitch whose grandfather was Hitler. Yeah
[00:34:38] That's the best part about the new star where spoiler alert everyone is that basically
[00:34:43] The the moral is like this ray turned out to be somebody's daughter
[00:34:47] Yeah, she turns out to be the emperor's granddaughter out of nowhere emperor Palpatine. It makes no fucking sense
[00:34:52] That's good and he's dead, but they're like he's actually not dead
[00:34:56] Like the movie starts and they're like by the way. He's not dead. He's been actually just he was gone for a little bit
[00:35:03] He got thrown into the engine. Yeah, he's like there. He's just and then they make up like some
[00:35:08] Planet that he's been hiding out on that some secret Sith planet. It makes no fucking sense
[00:35:12] But again, I just saw our mushrooms and it was good. Yeah, and there's the best part was a monkey that
[00:35:17] Repairs Carlo Rents helmet. That's pretty fucking funny
[00:35:20] Yeah, and this little guy babu freak who rocks and the the one the characters
[00:35:24] I liked were the ones in rugby on those Chinese guys. Yes. That's Chinese guys were awesome
[00:35:30] They were like, you know, like what what are you trying to do in the galaxy? Like I have no idea this movie's gay
[00:35:35] Yeah, this shit sucks. We're just trying to go to work. Yeah. Just trying to catch a Disney paycheck. I'm just trying to get our
[00:35:40] I'm gonna care. I'm trying to get sag health insurance
[00:35:44] You can always go wrong. I feel like anytime they put like a native New Zealander in a movie. It's uh, it's a mistake
[00:35:51] Interesting. Why do you say that? They always bring that like mary bullshit into every movie. That is true even in space
[00:35:56] And it's no matter what you're doing a haka
[00:36:00] It's like all right. You can't just be a regular guy who happens to be from you
[00:36:03] Exactly. You gotta fucking put that New Zealand stink on everything
[00:36:07] I
[00:36:10] Totally know you mean no George Lucas is like can we pause for a second? We got all the representation stuff out with the puppets
[00:36:19] So we really don't need you doing the haka. I've done it all. There's we've already done it
[00:36:23] There's a teradactyl that's supposed to be from fucking Tasmania. So
[00:36:30] We don't really need you showing off your face tattoos if you could stop rubbing the makeup off
[00:36:35] And take the bone out of your nose
[00:36:39] This is wearing the lightsaber through his a hole in his nose
[00:36:43] My name is takut takut takut
[00:36:46] This is no your name sarah
[00:36:48] Your name well in this your name is your name is eric you're acting
[00:36:52] That was the other funny thing is that they had like a like the john boy egg is character who but john boy egg a rocks by the way
[00:36:58] He's just been trolling star horse man
[00:37:00] On twitter yeah my character fucks right
[00:37:05] That guy fucking rules but that's how he literally said it's not about who kisses but who lays the pipe first
[00:37:16] Yeah, love it dude just implying his character fucked right off screen. It's not the movie at all
[00:37:22] Yeah
[00:37:24] People getting so mad
[00:37:30] It's oh i'm sad i'm not disrespectful it is your fucking dumb character
[00:37:34] I just love it because it's like the people are in the movie because this is like the star wars fans make the mistake of thinking that the star wars
[00:37:41] Actors are like star track actors where you sign your soul to the devil when you become a star track actor
[00:37:47] Right, right? It's like this is you not only your typecast but now you have to like be a part of every dumbass convention
[00:37:53] There's no room for a guy that just is in star track and then is like yeah, that's it's gay
[00:37:58] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah where you can be like that with star words
[00:38:01] Especially the newer ones because they're like this it just like makes you so famous
[00:38:04] That's what you're doing is that famous clip of of Harrison Ford and some interviews. Oh my god
[00:38:10] Did you shoot grito first or did grito shoot you first? I uh, I don't care
[00:38:17] I uh, I'll never give a shit about that
[00:38:23] This is some of the gay shit ever made uh you're gay
[00:38:30] Shut the fuck up you fucking dude. Uh suck my dick suck my dick you little
[00:38:37] homo
[00:38:53] You're gay
[00:38:59] Shouts out to fucking yeah, it was awesome and at the end jumbo egg
[00:39:02] They like he has force powers, I guess and then but yeah, they tease he's gonna like fuck Ray or whatever and then they just like make up like uh
[00:39:12] They just they just find another black. They're just like a black lady. They're like. Oh, yeah jumbo egg
[00:39:17] Staying with the black woman and he even though he has force powers. It's only the two rich
[00:39:23] Families that get to actually be jedi
[00:39:25] You just get to be a guy with the fucking force and you get the fuck. I mean the lady was hot as shit
[00:39:30] She was harder than ray black lady. Yeah, although I would also fuck ray. Don't get it twisted
[00:39:36] John boy rd John boy rd go boy John boy rd go
[00:39:42] It was something my name is john boy or dga. He's me jumbo your dga. It's me jumbo
[00:39:53] Yeah, I don't know if you seen attack the block people say that's good
[00:39:55] That's basically how he got the how he got in the star wars no
[00:39:58] But i'm tired of british people that are good at acting okay
[00:40:02] I like cuz they all have the same story. They're like international celebrities and they were in one movie called like um
[00:40:08] like tough car shot
[00:40:11] Yeah, yeah, yeah
[00:40:13] Grumpy shot
[00:40:15] The 15th street boys
[00:40:18] Avonero from an orphanage and they do each other's tattoos and steel carpets and yeah, no
[00:40:24] I don't know. Yeah, just those fucking like bleak washed out, you know, british were in class movies
[00:40:32] Kind of like piki blinders. Yeah, I guess that kind of shit
[00:40:34] But you know they're all in one of those and then yeah, and then they're the then they're an x-men
[00:40:39] Yeah
[00:40:42] Dude that's how it goes you make one good movie and then you just get to be fucking famous
[00:40:45] Yeah, they're all like but they're all like spoiled british children
[00:40:49] Yeah, they'd have been to like acting academy. Yeah the royal academy of acting
[00:40:54] What a name what a name for a school. I know this is school in the year called the professional children school
[00:41:01] Can you imagine how much of a bitch you'd have to be a good
[00:41:03] None of you sloppy little children mom dad. I want to go to the professional schools
[00:41:08] Professional children. I want to be better than those kids. I'm better than them. I'm the profession
[00:41:13] I'm a professional child. That's suck professional child. Yeah
[00:41:18] That's is that a cover to rape kids? I hope so because if it's not that's fucked up. Yeah
[00:41:25] Is that how you say it like look? I'm not fucking any these professional children. They know what they signed up these kids are pros
[00:41:33] Jeffrey Epstein's defense
[00:41:36] She was a pro
[00:41:39] She was a pro child
[00:41:41] What does he sound like? Shouts out to fucking the pedophile billionaires staying in the presidential race
[00:41:48] Big mic little mike bloomberg. Yeah, I love that dude. Just another rich pedophile. Yeah. Is he a pedophile? He was on the logs
[00:41:57] Oh, yeah
[00:41:58] Mike coomburg
[00:42:00] Is it they call him coom? Yeah, call him out on the planes. Yeah. Yeah, he loves his coom
[00:42:06] What's coom? It's calm, but it's how they say that
[00:42:09] Uh-huh that okay computer
[00:42:12] Not what is it?
[00:42:14] Thanks computer. What's the name of the guys that did the the mom's video with him? The
[00:42:19] You know, you know that line the same hide
[00:42:23] Like I can't wait to coom. Oh, oh mom's. Yeah, why would they have all those old bitches? Yeah, that was a good video
[00:42:30] It's one of the funniest videos of all time
[00:42:32] One of the greatest lines of all time. Maybe I'm just so cool. I want to die
[00:42:36] I
[00:42:38] There's never been a I know that was probably ad-lib. Oh, yeah. Yeah, most of that shit was probably ad-lib. I feel like yeah one of one of
[00:42:47] One of the funniest things anyone's I'm putting that up there with mark twain. Oh, yeah, Sam club. It's funny guys. Mm-hmm
[00:42:55] Hello, maybe I'm just so cool. I want to die
[00:43:01] Um
[00:43:02] Yeah, blooming was out there having sex with children on that island. Mm-hmm kumburk. David Blaine
[00:43:08] David Blaine bill Gates. Yeah, surprise you're 18. Surprise. No, you're 17. No, you're 14 again
[00:43:14] 14, but nine out of 10
[00:43:16] What's playing up to didn't he get didn't somebody say he raped them also all magicians rape for sure
[00:43:21] There's not a single magician doesn't have blood on his hands
[00:43:24] Mm-hmm or his penis. Yeah, I mean about you got to think about what is the mental profile of from a young age somebody that wants to go into tricking people
[00:43:32] Mm-hmm. You know the biggest trick of all is
[00:43:36] Sex with accent. Yeah, a lot of kids are interested in magic until they find out it's fake
[00:43:42] Mm-hmm. You know that is true and then you find out it's faking like oh fuck this. Yeah fuck that
[00:43:47] I wanted powers, but these guys are like it's better that it's fake. Mm-hmm. I'm a normal man
[00:43:52] Mm-hmm and I'll learn how to fucking deceive people
[00:43:56] And I'll be doing razzle dazzle tilt before they realize it my dick is in their mouth
[00:44:00] I mean, I remember learning how to do the this one
[00:44:04] Thumb. Yep, the thumb thumb pretend that your finger tip pretend you're pulling your finger off
[00:44:09] That's a good one and I remember doing that in first grade and this Korean kid like looked behind my hand and figured out how I did it
[00:44:16] No, it's like you fucking piece of shit. Yeah, just
[00:44:27] Just doing everything off the walls. You're a fucking piece go back to fucking Korea
[00:44:33] And it just being one of those kids and then having this girl being like he has emotional
[00:44:40] The problem with his emotions
[00:44:42] That's the calling back in the day. Oh, he's got an emotional disability
[00:44:54] Oh fuck
[00:44:56] Yeah, those kids were the funniest the ones that oh yeah, just just freak out it
[00:45:01] I'll freak out dude and then fucking like smash things in the classroom like throwing graduated
[00:45:06] So yes at the walls and fucking like I'm trying to break the teachers completely absolutely
[00:45:11] We had a kid like that who fucking get on all fours and crawl around and act like
[00:45:18] This is fucking a little white trash kid named mark
[00:45:21] break everything
[00:45:25] He was not retarded, but they put him in the retarded glass for like four months just kicking the pencil sharpener off the wall
[00:45:31] Yes, he literally like broke mugs and like you should against the wall
[00:45:35] Yeah, he was awesome. He's got a child now. Just man is animal
[00:45:39] You know what I mean? He would literally get on all fours and just hooting holler like a monkey
[00:45:43] Well, I was jealous of those kids because they represented freedom to me
[00:45:46] Yes, you know what you could be what you could be if you were just missing that whatever the regulator is the governor
[00:45:56] We're regulators
[00:45:59] We make it so that we're not we don't act retarded
[00:46:01] Do do do do do do do do you can't be some gig off the street. What's that the regulators?
[00:46:09] Yeah, the beginning part of the the that song
[00:46:13] Yeah
[00:46:15] Let's get some let's get some vibes gone. We're regulators regulators. We've had sex. We've had sex
[00:46:23] Where's you where am I?
[00:46:25] Here we go
[00:46:26] we're regulators
[00:46:28] very cool. Damn. Welcome to the mind palace of getting pussy. Welcome to having sex.
[00:46:35] Having sex the podcast. Having gay sex. Then we're having gay sex, gay sex. We should
[00:46:43] just do the whole podcast. We only got 15 minutes left. We'll do the rest of the show
[00:46:49] like this. If your number ends in 718, please report to the left directly to the showers.
[00:47:06] Let me tell you how short it's had laughter on loudspeakers. That would probably fuck
[00:47:12] you up. We've instituted a new policy to bring levitate to the lives of the prisoners. There
[00:47:20] will be a clown laughing on the loudspeakers. It's not so bad to get jealous of it. It's
[00:47:30] your fault that you're in here. Shouldn't have been a Jew. This is what you get for owning
[00:47:44] a gay. Welcome to Auschwitz. You are fucking gay. Good morning. I'll swear. Welcome to
[00:48:06] what you're live from the East Prison Wing. It's me DJ Robin. DJ Robin Williams. Good morning.
[00:48:18] Auschwitz. This is another cloudy day. Who can tell? Is that your smoke from the towers?
[00:48:25] James Ligert, the towers. He's running out of jail. He's probably sitting in a roadblock
[00:48:38] DJing an algebra. Oh boy. Oh boy. The ovens. How come they never makes me feel like the
[00:48:46] gingerbread man over here. Running around. You're not going to catch me. I guess they
[00:48:51] only did. Maybe if I was a little bit sweeter, not enough spice. Like a girl would have girls.
[00:48:58] Yeah, he got any girls in here. Maybe that'll lighten the place up. They got their own camp.
[00:49:03] What's next? Let them vote. Okay. It's time for my lunch break Vietnam.
[00:49:15] All right, P man. Yeah. Going too soon. That would have been a great gig for him. DJ concentration
[00:49:26] camp in charge of the radio at Auschwitz. It's funny how it's almost been 100 years since
[00:49:37] the Holocaust and it's still so funny. Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. That's a big takeaway. Yeah.
[00:49:44] I would say still funny, not just recently. Pretty funny. Because things weren't funny
[00:49:51] back then. The funny thing they had was Looney Tunes. That was, I mean, some of that was
[00:49:59] like what if a dog wanted to fuck? Yeah. What if a dog wanted to have sex with a woman at
[00:50:04] a nightclub? Yeah, it was a wolf. Man. Oh, it's a type of dog. You're right. You're right.
[00:50:12] And I take that back. Whatever happened to the stopcat calling movement? Did they realize
[00:50:17] that that was just completely racist? Yeah. I think they realized it was a part they were
[00:50:22] stifling Latinx culture. They were stifling like a Latina. They were silencing brown bodies.
[00:50:30] So they stopped with the stopcat calling culture. What are you looking at? Come on, man. So
[00:50:36] the two of us. I'm trying to look up the cat. What's it called? I was trying to remember
[00:50:43] the name. What is it? Holla back? Was that what it was called? That is definitely racist.
[00:50:48] If it was called Holla back. Yeah, it was called Holla back. I ain't no Holla back girl.
[00:50:55] Yeah. Holla back together. I want to suck off on me because I'm gay. My dick is fucking
[00:51:00] small. But I am all fucking gay. Yeah. Because this was that was Holla back was the woman
[00:51:04] they had that woman walk around for 10 hours. Oh, yeah. I remember her. She's pretty hot.
[00:51:12] Yeah. Yeah. Well, I fucked her. I actually did for you. I actually did. I actually didn't
[00:51:18] I didn't have to say anything. I get this in my recommended videos all the time. Certified
[00:51:23] goon judge Joe Brown gets cussed the hell out. The video is always in a. Yeah, somebody's
[00:51:33] acknowledging you for being beautiful. You should say thank you. This video was so goddamn
[00:51:37] funny because they shot it. This is clearly like like fucking like near Aster place or
[00:51:42] something or like it looks like maybe try back. I can't identify but it's like but like
[00:51:47] they only did it in black areas. It's like that. No. Yeah. You can see in the video.
[00:51:54] Is everybody okay? Yeah. Little a little fucking truth truth. Truth orism here. It was
[00:52:03] it was a party. Well, what'd you go there for gamble? That's none of your business. Oh,
[00:52:07] yes, it is. That'll be a $50 $100 assessment for impertinence. Now you want to get cute
[00:52:15] with me? You want to tell me the truth? You be you being real cute. That's another $100
[00:52:23] assessment. Come on. I suggest you stop before I bust you badly son. But don't disappoint
[00:52:29] your mother. Oh, you want to be like that? Bring the witness in. Bring the witness.
[00:52:40] Imagine going on TV to go to small claims court and ending up in jail. Yeah, I'm glad
[00:52:46] they recommended this. This is great. I want to see what the witness has to say. Now swear
[00:52:53] the witness in please, madam Sony, if you would. Yes, Your Honor. Okay, stay quiet.
[00:52:57] I'll be a cute. Do you promise to tell the truth? It don't matter before this before.
[00:53:03] The bail is man. See, huh? Young man, please state your full name for the record. Boy,
[00:53:08] you want to say? Are you acquainted with the two individuals to your left? Yes, sir. Are
[00:53:12] you acquainted with the young man on the far left? Yes, sir. Where do you know him from?
[00:53:17] Uh, Lenwood. All right, now, are you familiar with the subject matter of this proceeding?
[00:53:23] Yes, sir. Now, do you have anything to add to this? I was in the car with him. Who's
[00:53:29] him, uh, Brandon? Well, when we left, when we left the motorcycle club. Where are you
[00:53:35] guys? Um, I believe it's like Bradondo. Okay, what's the name of the club? Uh, the red
[00:53:41] breed? The motorcycle club. Yes, sir. Go ahead. When we left the motorcycle club, I
[00:53:46] got in the car with Antonio. All right. I left. We got in the car. We left. I asked
[00:53:51] me if he could take me home. I stopped and then I, uh, I asked Brandon if he could take
[00:53:56] me home. So Brandon was going to take me to my house. So, uh, I got off the car with
[00:54:01] Antonio when I get something in the car with Brandon. He driving real fast, speeding.
[00:54:06] All right, give it a part where he tells your brown the fuck off. I think it already happened,
[00:54:10] bro. Is that it? It better be not just be the rest of this fucking trial. I think
[00:54:14] it literally is. I want to see this guy get lit up by Joe Brown. I have no clue. Well,
[00:54:20] you're lying. I'm not lying about anything. You're lying. You're lying. You're lying.
[00:54:25] You're not trying to be quiet. You're not going to do that. You keep it up. You keep
[00:54:34] it up. You don't have it. You get it. You get it. The more deep into a perjury.
[00:54:40] I care you won't be walking too far without a warrant for your risk. There's also an ongoing
[00:54:46] investigation. This is a white people clapping. Like you're a joke. Yeah. We'll send that
[00:54:55] man to prison. Joe Brown, right for perjuring in small claims. We love getting people in
[00:55:03] jail. Yeah, for dumb bullshit. Them judge scream judge. Just Joe pussy brown. You know
[00:55:15] what? It's weird. You never see the scream masks in stores anymore. They used to be
[00:55:19] go to CVS around the holidays and it's like, I guess I'll be the scream mask scream guy.
[00:55:23] Did you have scream guy years? I never had scream by years. I flirted with having the
[00:55:28] scary movie with the tongue out scream guy. You remember that? Oh, after they get him
[00:55:34] high. Yeah. I mean, I just wanted candy. The last
[00:55:37] like couple of years I went. I remember the thing the last year I went, I just bore like
[00:55:39] a fucking ski mask. Yeah. You know, hoodies. I'm like, I'm a criminal. I'm a fucking bad
[00:55:47] guy. I'm a bad guy. And you were 17. I'm a bad guy. No, I think maybe 13, 12, 13 is
[00:55:54] probably. Yeah, there is a time where you realize I can just buy candy. It's not that
[00:55:59] expensive. There's no reason. Yeah. No, I never had scream masks a years. I used to
[00:56:06] like getting dressed up. Dude, I had a couple nice ones. Yeah, what did you do? Fucking
[00:56:10] one pumpkin a circle. Pillsbury, the boy. Where are you? Yeah, and it crushed. Yeah,
[00:56:15] it crushed, bro. I remember I made your mom make you a little hat. I bought a chef's
[00:56:20] hat, a little chef's hat. My mom worked at a restaurant. She just gave me a little chef's
[00:56:24] hat. And then you put a P on it. Yes. And then what a little blue handkerchief and then
[00:56:28] completely naked. It's fully nude. Walking around the streets of Greek town with my little
[00:56:35] penis out. We were like, Oh, it's very dope. Oh, that one was alarmed. It was like, yeah,
[00:56:43] there he is. It was very dope. Oh, fuck. Yeah, being naked. So funny. Yeah, I hate it, but
[00:56:52] it is fun. Being naked with a hat on is awesome. Just naked. But like, you've made a choice
[00:56:57] to not be naked in other ways. Dick is out. Just be on one of those survival shows you're
[00:57:02] completely new, but you got like a Terence Malek hat on just in Indiana Jones hat. Don't
[00:57:11] look at my dick. Don't look at my penis. You fucking star wars. Look at it. Did you suck
[00:57:19] Greedo's dick first? Or did he suck your dick first? I don't care. I'm about to rape
[00:57:26] you. I'm about to fuck you and your nerd ass. There's a boy that's raping every nerd that
[00:57:33] annoys him. Why don't you ask me about witness? That's a much better movie. What's the witness
[00:57:40] about? Well, Harrison Ford's big bangers, of course, are Indiana Jones in the Indiana
[00:57:47] Jones. The fugitive, the fugitive. Air Force one, Air Force one Star Wars blade runner
[00:57:56] 2049. Was that good? It was fine. Yeah, it didn't look good. Yeah, how about age runner?
[00:58:08] Okay. And it's like in the future. No one knows who's gay.
[00:58:11] It's impossible to tell in the future. Now, because it's everyone has a robot. Everyone
[00:58:20] see the gay straight and they can't tell who's impossible to tell. And every gay guy has
[00:58:26] AIDS, by the way, AIDS runners, guys who have to go around killing people with AIDS before
[00:58:31] they give it to so they have to figure out if you're gay. And there's a bunch of questions.
[00:58:38] There's a bunch of questions. And then it just cuts right to like the guy smoking doing
[00:58:49] the what is it not the Dunning Krueger? That's if you think you're good at something or not,
[00:58:53] the vilx with the names of the time. Come on. You're walking on the street and you're
[00:59:00] super penis. What do you do? I don't suck. Simple, my good man. I don't suck. I don't
[00:59:09] suck. You think I's at least salivating? Yeah, I don't suck it. He's watching his eyes dilate.
[00:59:15] That's disgusting. You wake up, you have a nightmare, you're getting fucked in your
[00:59:19] ass. What's all over the inside of your pants? Shit, I scared myself shit. It's not come.
[00:59:25] It's definitely not come. I've never had sex with a man. Hell yeah. I don't think that
[00:59:43] testing. Is there a part where they suck a woman sucks you off? There is. That's the
[00:59:48] ultimate test. That's swordfish. They're like, you think you're good at hacking? A bunch
[00:59:53] of hacking. We'll get you dicks sucked. Also, what kind of bad guy moved this thing? What
[00:59:59] happens if he doesn't do the hacking? Well, I guess we kill him. So I just had to suck
[01:00:07] that guy's dick for no reason. Yeah, it's also he passes and then it's like, not that
[01:00:12] bitch is just her co-worker. You got to see her around the office and be like, so how's
[01:00:18] work on a lot of new recruits this week? Do he ever get his dick sucked again? I don't
[01:00:23] think so. The movie sucks. Yeah, it was horrible. Doesn't it turn out like John Travolt is the
[01:00:28] good guy or something or trying to trick the government? I don't know. I mean, I barely
[01:00:32] remember it. I love movies where the bad guy is actually secretly the good guy. Yeah,
[01:00:37] like Titanic. No, not like that. That's one where you have to make a case. I mean, it's
[01:00:43] baked into the fucking like a time to kill. I haven't seen that, but like the king of
[01:00:49] New York in the time to kill. Fucks in the same old Jackson plays a black guy murdered
[01:00:53] two guys that raped his daughter. Yes. So he's on trial and the whole time you're like,
[01:00:56] I hope they electrocute this black guy. And then Matthew McConaughey does his speech at
[01:01:02] the end where he says to the jury, you know, he describes him raping the daughter and then
[01:01:07] he goes, now I want you to imagine that little girl was white and you're like, whoa, I never
[01:01:11] know. Whoa, that is fucking holy shit. I guess it was bad that they raped. And you're
[01:01:17] like surprise twist ending turns out Samuel Jackson sort of justified but still deserves
[01:01:24] the death. He deserves it, but we feel bad about it. Yeah. I love that. That's not what
[01:01:31] being a judge is. For the most part, having not looked at it at all, but you're like,
[01:01:36] yeah, you know, we must stop hold the law. And so he will go to jail. He will go to jail,
[01:01:42] even though probably those guys did deserve to die. Probably those guys for raping a child.
[01:01:47] And now he must die, but he has to die. All right. Well, I got to go take a shit. Okay.
[01:01:53] Well, thanks for listening, everyone. Stop it that big slash tour. Bands in town. Yeah,
[01:01:59] also slash Nick Mullen comtown dot merch now.com if you want shirts. There is now an unlimited
[01:02:05] supply because the print shop is just printing on demand. Smart move. That's good. And you
[01:02:12] don't have to do that shit. And they can't figure out how to get it to work on my website.
[01:02:16] So that we have to use their website. So it's comtown dot merch now.com. Yeah. All right.
[01:02:21] Well, we're coming to Australia to go to come dot. What is it? Come town dot events.
[01:02:27] We canceled Adelaide. So suck our fucking dicks if you live over there. But everywhere
[01:02:34] else we'll see you soon. All right, bye.