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Ep. 197 - Jerkules

Cum Town | Regular | 03/05/2020

[00:00:00] Check check you are now about to witness the power
[00:00:05] Of having gay sex and we started yeah, oh, yeah, I had a good start for this episode ready. Let's hear it
[00:00:11] Can you smell what Mike Bloomberg is cooking
[00:00:19] Why I like blue because we wanted Samoa. Oh, that's right
[00:00:34] Shouts out to Mike Bloomberg winning a Samoa and
[00:00:39] It was actually a pretty good investment because apparently he's gonna say five billion dollars in taxes
[00:00:45] Well, hold on Bernie's not out if if Bernie doesn't win, but what if he drops if he drops half a billion to save
[00:00:51] Five billion people keep talking about oh well
[00:00:54] He spent seven hundred million dollars in blue it like what a loser, but he he has
[00:01:00] Eight hundred trillion dollars. Yeah, that's like not real money. He spends eight hundred million dollars a year on come
[00:01:08] True his artisanal come yeah, no he gets bottom of the barrel. He gets tricked
[00:01:13] Mm-hmm because he doesn't know it's just the packaging. It's just nice. Yeah, it's like that pasta sauce
[00:01:19] Classico that I used to think was good, but it was only because the the label made it look like all ten
[00:01:25] The label always made me think it reminded me of like a jigsaw puzzle what classical costing
[00:01:30] Yeah, is that the one in the see through in the glass container?
[00:01:33] I don't know why or what that means really but anytime I saw it
[00:01:36] I was always like fuck I should do a jigsaw puzzle. Is that the one that's really?
[00:01:41] Never got that one that's yellow and red no
[00:01:44] It's got like all kind of the old timey
[00:01:46] It looks old timey and like like crack look you know, you're gonna shoot a Italian restaurant
[00:01:50] They have like fake marble wallpaper. Yeah, it looks like it was from me. No knows house, you know that kind of
[00:01:56] But it's actually was crappy
[00:01:58] Oh, yeah, this stuff does I think that's what you call your grandmother in Italian my manona. No, no, no
[00:02:12] Me Nana I
[00:02:21] Weird out tweeted that he's not gonna do it
[00:02:24] Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob
[00:02:26] I corona I've got corona
[00:02:31] Hey everybody it is I thought it's so it's now Italians in the china in the Chinese basically
[00:02:37] Equally two of my favorite cuisine. We do a thing about weird out yankovic being an Arabic guy
[00:02:43] No, no, no, but we could
[00:02:45] Yankovic
[00:02:47] Yanko big yeah, yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's good
[00:02:54] I was thinking did we do this so this is because we
[00:02:59] Now it's super Wednesday super Wednesday. This is the big wrap-up show. Yeah last
[00:03:04] Actually last night was the boys being angry. We were sad
[00:03:08] We thought Bernie was getting his pussy floundered and he didn't I was mostly tired
[00:03:13] Yeah, I was mostly sleepy boy ready for yeah, we did we forgot what day it was just mad that I couldn't do
[00:03:21] That Charlie Rose thing
[00:03:23] Did you study Charlie?
[00:03:25] Huh? No, because of you can't because of the timelines the time
[00:03:31] So we literally till next the carbon that's the next week because that one has that episode has to be with a blue
[00:03:37] G-read. Oh, yeah, we don't have one next week. I don't think so
[00:03:40] Two weeks from now
[00:03:47] That's awesome that's it's really gonna drive some people absolutely insane no, I like this
[00:03:52] I like the like I like the name with I like in space. There are a lot of great movies like this
[00:03:56] Max flash forward honestly this month news you have something to look forward to on the future
[00:04:02] This month is gonna be our momentum. What if we've just been recording backwards the entire time?
[00:04:06] We haven't the first episode was our last. We have it
[00:04:09] We haven't we haven't done that's that was sound that sounds really stupid
[00:04:14] It wasn't I mean sounds like a really stupid thing to say no, it was okay Adam
[00:04:19] psych
[00:04:23] No, I was saying psych to it stops on my I think you're saying stop on your thing
[00:04:29] I mean what I say you mean what you said today. I mean everything that I say I mean there's no irony
[00:04:35] I had so many recently accused me of ironic racism and I was like ironic
[00:04:45] Um wait, so they're getting corona in Europe now. Yeah, let's fucked up. I'm about to go to Ireland
[00:04:52] Yeah, you're probably gonna have we might have to cancel the Australia tour
[00:04:58] Because why because the travel bans and stuff
[00:05:01] Yeah, I'm gonna be stuck in London you're gonna be by the way just stuck in London
[00:05:05] We'll probably the US military is gonna have to airlift you back very a very big no a regular one of those big
[00:05:11] I take regular planes all the time. You know those you've been all you've been on a lot of regular planes with me
[00:05:17] They have to see we took a pretty small one from Boston, New York. That's a really safe to take ratchet straps
[00:05:23] No, we don't be fair. They did have to you get like no whatever you said no
[00:05:27] Whatever you're about to say no you see the airport we got the board early no because that was be no with night
[00:05:33] Land that was very welcome Delta sky club members members active duty military and anyone who is very
[00:05:42] It was nice
[00:05:44] Today who yeah, well my foot was broke. Yeah, we got to stop this
[00:05:48] Yeah, that was fun. We got to skip TSA every single day. Just we're trying to front the line
[00:05:52] We thought to go through the skater. Yeah, we should just pretend my foot is fucked up every time. I think that's a great idea
[00:05:58] That's better than than what do you call it the background check people like hey stuff?
[00:06:02] Do you like the window or the aisle and he's like what do you mean or?
[00:06:07] Because they make him by three three seats
[00:06:11] I think everybody got it. Yeah
[00:06:16] Um
[00:06:17] So yes, like I said, I hope I don't get Corona and Dublin or London
[00:06:20] But this week tomorrow, please buy tickets to see me in Phoenix there's the stand up live
[00:06:28] Tomorrow on Thursday and Friday Tucson at one nine one tool. They say I had a corona
[00:06:34] Bodies
[00:06:36] I can't know I can't know keys my girlfriend because I had a corona
[00:06:41] Bodies oh
[00:06:47] So damn am I gonna get this shit in Dublin. Yeah, do they have it in Ireland?
[00:06:52] Here's what I'm saying when I was in Japan apparently they had these like
[00:06:56] infrared sensors
[00:06:57] So when we were like passing through a corridor into customs
[00:07:01] They were like you know like those like guns where you can like
[00:07:04] Measure how hot something is yeah, they were like scanning people's heads to see if you're coming into the country country with the fever, right?
[00:07:12] Yeah, that my boys are all masked dude. Yeah, they look cute. Good. They do. Hawaii
[00:07:18] Yeah, really? Yeah, just dressed up in the mask dancing to the Wii menu music
[00:07:26] I would rather them not be wearing a mask. Yeah to see their little mouths. No, I think all women should
[00:07:31] I'm saying I'm I'm I'm wahabias. I think you should only see the eyes
[00:07:37] Is that what we'll hobbyist is yeah, yeah, I'm Saudi Arabia
[00:07:41] Wuhabi wahabi lobby, you know, yeah, basically the same if you think about it. Yeah, well hobby
[00:07:48] wahabi
[00:07:49] Wahabi wahabi
[00:07:51] My dad
[00:07:55] But I done that's the show folks
[00:07:57] Oh
[00:07:59] Wohabi Bobby's world hobby Bobby's world by oh Bobby Don't you know starring come look at my pussy that's your fucking song
[00:08:08] Yeah, I think we've talked about this. I liked it. Did you yeah? Yeah, I don't remember a single point of it
[00:08:14] Yeah, I remember him riding his fucking try. That's just the intro to the show
[00:08:19] That's what you remember from the show is the intro to the show and nothing else because the mom the mom being like oh Bobby
[00:08:25] Yeah, I've got a big pussy Bobby how we mandel
[00:08:30] Yeah, he was I remember that can't probably suck my dick now that I think about it
[00:08:34] The being a live-action person in a cartoon world was something that blew my mind as a kid like Roger Abbott blew my mind
[00:08:41] But was there another guy who did that?
[00:08:45] Space champ space champ. That's it now. That's a good movie
[00:08:49] Yeah, do you guys ever have the binder the space jam binder the trapper keeper? No, I didn't know the binder
[00:08:55] Was there a binder for the zips around the trapper keeper was like
[00:09:00] Didn't have the zip you knew I was coming in strong with I didn't know what trapper keepers were ever I still don't know
[00:09:07] Yeah, they're basically it was probably a brand of binder that had like an in the 80s velcro it had like a velcro like
[00:09:14] They flapped over yes, it did. She like clothes it
[00:09:18] I was always ashamed of myself because I would break the rings on the binder immediately
[00:09:23] Like misaligned and fucked up and I hated the key that when this shit was jagged
[00:09:28] The glue and saliva all of everything just all it everywhere
[00:09:33] Like I don't know how to
[00:09:35] I'm sorry
[00:09:37] God damn I was a put I was a throw everything in the binder in like week two. Yeah, it fucking fell for my classic moves
[00:09:45] Throughout school was always like when they come around to collect the homework. I'm like oh
[00:09:49] Do you know someone? Yes, but every day every day. I'm like I know I did it. I I remember the point
[00:09:56] I did it for sure it was just mark down that I did it if you want and I'll tell you one of these days
[00:10:03] I'm gonna get through this thing and we're gonna get to the bottom of this but go ahead and just write down
[00:10:08] Yeah, just go ahead and mark me down is having done it. Just go ahead and no you won't okay
[00:10:14] Okay, no problem. No problem. I'll just fail out of high school in five years
[00:10:21] Yeah, now just continue to be a complete piece of shit
[00:10:28] Until
[00:10:29] Probably about probably about 2024. Yep. Is that when you're gonna turn around. Oh, yeah, what's chapter two gonna be?
[00:10:37] I will be dead
[00:10:42] Oh
[00:10:48] Taking that one of the great okay
[00:10:50] Well, I thought you were gonna like turn it around 2024. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I would not be doing
[00:11:04] I do not think so
[00:11:08] Fuck here's um here's another one. I was wondering have we ever done?
[00:11:13] Bernard brothers, and it's a black guy named Bernard brothers
[00:11:17] Yeah, that's good. Have we done that? Mm-hmm. You like Elizabeth Warren. You better get your slut pussy check
[00:11:27] Bitch you been to the beach recently. Yeah, yeah, Jesus Christ
[00:11:32] This was a thing let me tell you all while I why I love you in a brutal health care cuz you can get a free screening to get
[00:11:43] Sand out to get all the sand out
[00:11:48] This bitch she misunderstood they said hourglass they're talking about the figure
[00:11:53] You ain't supposed to crack our glass
[00:11:56] She trying to tell time with a person
[00:11:58] It's time to endorse Bernie it's time to endorse Bernie
[00:12:07] My name is Bernard brothers
[00:12:16] The ultimate Bernie bro Bernard brothers
[00:12:19] I think that's pretty much what Sean King has been tweeting. Is that so? Yeah, he's in big trouble
[00:12:24] What's his whole thing? I don't know, but I'm I'm be he's he's back in the fold dude
[00:12:29] I don't care what he's back in the middle care any of the dumb shit. He said over the years. He's he's a homie
[00:12:37] He's got he's got my personal badge of you can call yourself black
[00:12:44] I look Sean
[00:12:46] I'm giving you me. I'm giving you permission now to call yourself black
[00:12:51] You didn't have it before but now you've earned it. Yes. Mm-hmm. Um, you know who else came back in
[00:12:59] L West you know who else is big de Blasio, dude. He's all in dude. He's right and hard dude. Shouts out to bill
[00:13:07] He's in the mix for Bernard another guy that's a fake race. Yeah. Yeah, he's German
[00:13:12] Yeah, his real name is like William like Hyman or something
[00:13:15] I
[00:13:19] Give you something he's like no, I'm just saying whatever
[00:13:24] I'm just on me. Come on. I'm just walking saying I'm silly the beak. I'm just saying I'm just saying
[00:13:29] I'm just saying billy the beak the blazia. Hey the bluesy blob just making up
[00:13:36] Now, you know, it's like uh, you know, just you just call yourself something. We'll give you shit
[00:13:41] The blazio means uh the blazer. Yeah, mhm
[00:13:46] They call me fucking out here smoking. I love the smoke bill de Blasio. Okay. Jimmy the Italian
[00:13:55] Jimmy Jimmy the Italian guy, you know, Jimmy Italiano Jimmy. Yeah, right
[00:14:00] Hey, it's me ma michael macaroni
[00:14:04] Hey, now my real name is Patrick
[00:14:06] Uh, a planner. Yeah, my name is patrick donigle, but I go by fucking by by craft macaroni and cheese
[00:14:17] Eliano
[00:14:20] Yeah
[00:14:22] Yeah, so you get to be a Italian bill
[00:14:24] And I guess you're giving Sean king permission to be black
[00:14:27] Sean king's allowed to be black so he's not black there. He isn't he is people this he was
[00:14:32] People doubt he looks white his parents are white the story is his mom cheated on his dad
[00:14:38] That rocks and that's his story. That's pretty cool. He's like, nah
[00:14:41] My mom got some extra
[00:14:44] cream pie black guy on the side and his dad's like real happy about your career Sean
[00:14:52] Things sound like they're going real well
[00:14:54] That's cool that you're just blowing vape smoke in my cat's face
[00:14:57] I didn't want to blow it in your faces while she's trying to sleep
[00:14:59] Literally directly into the
[00:15:02] No, you just woke her up. That was rude. I didn't mean to blow
[00:15:07] She's just a cat. I'm blowing in the opposite direction. She's just a defenseless animal
[00:15:10] She just again, I understand what it's like to take care of a beast. I do it myself. Yeah, you're pussy
[00:15:16] No, that's not true. You're a beast ever. I know my dog. I'm a master. I've never
[00:15:20] Never satiated always thirsting for semen your pussy. No, I'm not talking about my pussy. Which doesn't exist. I'm talking about my dog
[00:15:28] Who's a beast?
[00:15:31] And I'm the master of beasts. No, you're not. Yes, I am. First of all, the beast master is a guy in an alloying cloth in the jungle
[00:15:37] Well, that's what I wear when I'm at home. Man that show sucked. Yeah, it was really bad
[00:15:40] Really fucking stupid. What was the movie? Wasn't it? What was a tv show too?
[00:15:45] I never be like, you know, the villagers would be like is there anyone that can talk to ants
[00:15:50] And they'd be like, yeah, I got you. I mean, yeah
[00:15:52] Yeah, he's like hey, can you guys stop eating the town? Was it a different guy, huh? It wasn't Arnold
[00:15:59] What in the tv show? Yeah, no, it was fucking it was probably Lorenzo llamas's cousin
[00:16:04] Yeah, it was like the production value of like Hercules or Zina. Yeah, but it had none of the magic
[00:16:10] Yeah, Zina was Zina was good Hercules was okay
[00:16:14] Not as good as Zina
[00:16:16] Lesbian Zina was a Zina was a spin-off, but Zina was just a more fun show. It was yeah
[00:16:22] I don't remember much of Hercules. See I was just I loved mythology. I was a little little greek fat boy
[00:16:29] Is how you appreciate your
[00:16:31] Hercules whole shit is he's just strong. So you know, it's kind of like formula. Well, no that is mom got raped by a god
[00:16:37] She didn't get raped. She gave up the pussy. Okay, but that
[00:16:40] We're not half god
[00:16:41] I'm talking about the show and the problems with the show and you're now saying no
[00:16:46] And then you want to let everyone know that you know the story of Hercules. No what I'm saying is his his superpowers
[00:16:53] Man, I've got what was his first feat of strength Adam. I don't know. It's your history. Well, don't talk like you know shit
[00:16:59] He pushed the heavy thing. No, no idiot. What is the snake?
[00:17:03] You know, there's other his jealous brother put in the crib. Oh, yeah, that's right. Okay. I remember that. You don't remember
[00:17:13] That's why I was pissed when the movie came out, which is good. It holds up. It's a fun
[00:17:16] They'll all cartoon cartoon the animated one you got pissed
[00:17:19] But at the time I was pissed because I was now that I've had some distance from mythology
[00:17:23] I remember as a kid. I didn't like that they put the nambla logo on their cheeks. I thought that was weird
[00:17:29] The pedophile symbol on the characters faces
[00:17:31] They all had a new that was that one of those secret Disney things
[00:17:36] No, that's just what I remember as a kid and I remember why did you know what an amble it was?
[00:17:40] Yeah, I didn't know what that is because I looked at it was being careful
[00:17:43] I've been on this shit since the get-go. That is true. No, they don't have it
[00:17:48] is wrong
[00:17:51] I thought I thought I just just now remember that
[00:17:55] From seeing it because I never saw that fucking movie. It's a good movie. Did you it's fun. It's a good movie
[00:18:00] Okay
[00:18:02] Who is his animal friend?
[00:18:05] Danny DeVito. What was he? He was like a
[00:18:09] Danny to eat whole. Yeah, I'm the day to eat whole. He loves to eat pussy
[00:18:15] Hey, come here. Give me your pussy
[00:18:17] He's a burnout brother. That's my DeVito
[00:18:21] I'm I need pussy
[00:18:23] Was he a dragon? No dragon was he was half men or he was um
[00:18:27] Oh, what are they with the goat legs? Yeah a pant is his name pan? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what those guys are called
[00:18:34] A cherub? No, no, no, what are they called?
[00:18:37] Cherub is a little baby a little baby angel. What are they called?
[00:18:43] Pock a pock is one of them. Sader, right
[00:18:47] Uh, isn't that what they're called a Sader?
[00:18:49] They're with the goat legs. Yeah goat pants. He's horny
[00:18:53] Yeah, you could play one of those
[00:18:55] That's exactly what I'm fucking born. I can see your career going that way. Yes
[00:19:01] one of class of lustful drunken woodland gods
[00:19:06] A man with a horse's ears and tail. Oh wait knows that right? Yeah, he was a Sader
[00:19:12] Sader Danny DeVito
[00:19:16] Yep
[00:19:18] Yeah, dude. That's exactly who I am. I'm dainty be this is me. I mean come on. Oh my god
[00:19:23] That's you exactly
[00:19:26] Look make it to me. You should go to a comic con as that I should
[00:19:31] Little pig guy. He's not pig dude. He just happens to be fat, but he's a good goat
[00:19:37] He's not a pig
[00:19:41] I'm not a pig. I mean he might as well be a pig. No, you're not really you're not saving yourself much dignity by saying i'm this guy
[00:19:49] And then does it look like a clear. He's not a pig
[00:19:54] No, he's just a three-foot tall
[00:19:57] Half goat obese bald with horns. Yeah with horns, but he's cool. Is he yeah?
[00:20:03] Because he's horny he's horny and he trained trained Hercules. Oh, he's like a he's expert in combat. Yeah
[00:20:12] That's what you want to do. You want to help some guy a strong man. I like you. I want to coach people. Yeah
[00:20:17] That'd be nice. I would love that but just one guy in particular. No, he he coached a lot of heroes who you love
[00:20:24] I don't like he didn't love him man. He didn't fuck him. I'll tell you that one
[00:20:28] I'm looking at the pictures from the movie and I've never seen it, but it looks like no, you're not first of all
[00:20:32] You're not looking at them. You're looking at something else. No
[00:20:37] So the bad guy from the movie is Adam the bad guy is played by the Jewish character played by Hades James Woods
[00:20:45] He's got the same
[00:20:48] He's got the same teeth and lips as Adam and Adam makes that face all the time
[00:20:52] What kind of looks like James would I don't have triangle teeth?
[00:20:55] You have little little triangle teeth
[00:20:58] And you make that face with look imagine this guy saying what are you a big woodrow Wilson fan?
[00:21:04] Okay, nice call back
[00:21:09] I was experiencing jet lag
[00:21:11] That's
[00:21:13] Yeah, that's Adam is constantly making that face. What kind of face my face isn't that long you make that face all the time?
[00:21:19] What kind of it's not that long. I will give you that right that face
[00:21:23] It actually kind of does look like James Woods. It does
[00:21:25] I think they they do that once they cast the guy that make his face
[00:21:28] They got him before they you know Chris Farley was supposed to be Shrek, but he died there
[00:21:32] Yeah, it's the Shrek curse. Yeah, can you imagine how much better of a movie that would have been?
[00:21:36] Who's him instead of the guy from Smash Mouth?
[00:21:42] Like I guess Mike Meyer they ended up casting it
[00:21:48] All right, Peter four leaded
[00:21:51] Why couldn't it have been the guy from Smash Mouth instead?
[00:21:53] But no, yeah, I really would do that trade which is fucked up to that guy's family
[00:21:58] You know, there's a curse. I think they say it's a confederacy of Duns' curse
[00:22:02] Everyone that's been cast in like a movie adaptation has died. Really?
[00:22:06] Maybe I'm making this up, but I think it was him John Candy
[00:22:10] fucking
[00:22:12] Belushi
[00:22:14] Someone else
[00:22:15] Confirmacy Duns, I've never read that book, but it seems like you could play that guy, but it seems
[00:22:20] Are you trying to kill me now, dude? No, I'm not saying I'm not trying to kill you, but that the
[00:22:24] That seems like a book that people pretend is funny. Yeah, there's a lot of shit. It's pretty funny
[00:22:29] It seems pretty gated me. Fucking catch 22. I remember I read it when I was like, I don't know 20 or something
[00:22:35] It's not as funny as confederacy of Duns'
[00:22:37] It's not funny at all. Is that a book about the amount of
[00:22:41] You trying to the amount of dicks you're trying to catch in your ass?
[00:22:45] Are you asking me or Adam? Oh, either one. Hmm. Well, you're gonna have to clarify for it. No, yeah, either one
[00:22:52] Seems like you both are interested in answering. You throwing that out to the room. Yeah, it's to the room
[00:22:56] To the room
[00:22:58] Okay, well, I'll let you take that
[00:23:01] Oh, you want me to answer on your behalf?
[00:23:05] Moving on
[00:23:11] Well, it's on the record and we'll move it
[00:23:13] I'm so slick
[00:23:15] Just fucking moving you've been outmaneuvered with uh with fucking
[00:23:19] Okay. Yeah, what are those colds? Huh?
[00:23:22] Oh, fuck
[00:23:24] Hold on. I'm trying to remember a word
[00:23:26] For d chess no, no, no, I don't think just can you for once let him think
[00:23:32] Parliamentary procedure parliamentary procedure Roberts rules. That's what happened home rule home home
[00:23:40] Home clause. Mm-hmm. I think is what they say. Yep in
[00:23:44] Home clause and then the guy says I'll speak on his behalf. Yes. I do want to catch 22
[00:23:51] Dicks in my ass
[00:23:53] Mm-hmm
[00:23:55] Listen Nick your seren battle and war just remember that. Yeah once again. You've won another battle
[00:24:02] Perhaps a long string of battles. Yeah, perhaps a undefeated record in the battles. Hey, you're one or two
[00:24:09] Yeah, I've had a couple. Thank you. I think you said who said no country for or no pussy for gay. That was me
[00:24:15] Yeah, I guess you're right. You got zero
[00:24:17] Yeah, now I check the logs here
[00:24:26] Anyway, we'll we talk about no I didn't get you one time now. Yes, I did. I just remembered what it was. Oh, was it?
[00:24:33] He was when you were
[00:24:36] Is when you were calling me cool Adam
[00:24:39] And you were like just get me back just call me gay Nick and I said you just
[00:24:42] No way that's going into a trail and then I said no, that's right. That would mean that you were regular Nick
[00:24:48] But in reality you are gay Nick. Oh, that's good. That is good. I did get him and he tried to set up a trap and I I avoided it
[00:24:55] That's good, man
[00:24:57] Congrats. Who's got a charge? I got a plug. I got about that happen. I don't want to do the show anymore
[00:25:04] We'll just record. We'll do it. Nick. You're very funny. No very good. I forgot about that. You're good at what you know
[00:25:09] You're good. I don't want to just give him a second. Just give him a second. Okay. Cool off
[00:25:16] Dude, I'm just gonna look at pictures from Hercules for a minute here. Look up some porn of Megara, dude
[00:25:21] Who's Megara? She's the girl in it. Imagine changing the first letter of her name. All right
[00:25:28] Do it
[00:25:31] I will not imagine that just imagine just change wait hold on I found there is
[00:25:36] I
[00:25:41] Okay, will she in the movie? Yeah, I see what you're doing
[00:25:48] Why can't she be the love interest Greek chorus if I was if I was half man half god
[00:25:55] And I could lift the house over my head you better believe it would be nothing but chocolate BBW
[00:26:00] That's the only kind of woman that could of course it please you right because you can throw them against a wall
[00:26:07] And they weigh what 700 pounds bounce right back. Yeah, this other just so you think Hercules about lizzo that type of shit
[00:26:13] Oh, yeah, of course. I'm just saying of I were Hercules. That's that would be my kind of you need a lot more woman, right?
[00:26:19] You know, yeah, I'm supposed to fuck somebody that weighs 115 pounds. That's a great point. Yeah, yeah kill them
[00:26:25] That's true. Yeah, I don't think so truly you need more cushion for the cushion if she's like pull my hair
[00:26:31] And then it's just it's a naked skull with the skin and scalp ripped off of it
[00:26:37] You're like my bad fuck had a little of mice and men moment
[00:26:43] Once again murdered another woman
[00:26:47] That's true. I never considered how hard Hercules's penis was that rocks at Lenny snapped that woman's neck
[00:26:53] You know how fucking hard that is to do. Yeah, it must have been strong. Yeah, that's why they shouldn't have picked um
[00:27:01] That guy who played him
[00:27:03] Malkovich
[00:27:04] Should have been so much stronger than him. Yeah, like the rock should have been the rock dude
[00:27:08] Yeah, you should have picked or the big show or the big show even bigger
[00:27:13] I'll try to get included on emails by accident and they think you're some other guy. Yeah, there's another Adam never happens
[00:27:18] Me stop us. How he says the only guy I know that name is my grandfather. I'm gonna change the email here from a woman named
[00:27:24] Manuela birchor. This is project peanut lift. Oh, I got a peanut you can lift. Yeah, well
[00:27:29] Purchasing can you please provide a P.O. For the below?
[00:27:33] Sunbelt rentals job name project peanut scope 19 foot scissor slim one week. You got a respond dude
[00:27:40] Yeah, reply all thank you
[00:27:42] Then somebody named Michelle Ziegler is giving the P.O. Number. Hmm. I'm gonna reply to this. What are you gonna say?
[00:27:49] I don't know. I'll figure it out. Okay. Yeah
[00:27:53] Nice. How about just how about the classic hey guys
[00:27:59] Hey guys, that's pretty good
[00:28:06] What do you guys been up to yeah, how are you guys doing you should just you should just be like I don't actually
[00:28:11] In my records and then whatever Michelle said say the opposite what is grew now that us. Let's take a look at this
[00:28:18] Check it out
[00:28:21] Grew what is this fucking the minuest movie? Oh
[00:28:26] Specialty contracting built on values that doesn't mean any I doesn't yeah
[00:28:30] I guess what if you just hvac plumbing process piping
[00:28:35] What if you just live in this other nick molds skin just start all over again
[00:28:39] And just run your own contracting just go down there just go down there
[00:28:43] We'll bob the builder outfit on fuck his wife. It's me and they're like you look different
[00:28:48] I'm like no, I don't I'm like oh, okay check my idea. It says nick moly. Yeah, it's me back for my vacation in New York City
[00:28:56] Where I got a driver's license is great. I went to the M&M store
[00:29:01] I brought M&M's back for everybody. They're like Nick seems different, but he brought us M&M's
[00:29:05] It's just like a fire all the equipment's on fire
[00:29:10] Can I have my whole salary and in front the money up front where's my office again?
[00:29:16] Sorry, I'm a little out of it. Yeah, it's my office. Tell me why I live trouble getting back in this saddle
[00:29:21] Which one of you is my wife?
[00:29:27] I'm still figuring out
[00:29:29] What what exactly this company is on some fucking mad men shit. Yeah, so he don't spoil it for me
[00:29:36] I've only seen the first six episodes. Oh really? Yeah, I know that he he ate some money in Korea and still the right down in the guy named dickie
[00:29:45] Yeah, no, his name is dickie. Oh, yeah, his name's dickie. Yeah
[00:29:49] Let me why don't you do the voice? Okay, but what is he saying? I haven't seen it so I don't know I hate a man in Korea
[00:29:56] Oh, sorry, I shouldn't have tried an impression. Why?
[00:30:00] Because I get nervous. Hey, you know, Adam. It's gonna be okay. All right. Take a step take a deep breath and Korea
[00:30:06] Okay, there you go. Korea and Korea they eat dogs
[00:30:12] Why would you eat a dog?
[00:30:14] You can eat a man. Mm-hmm when you can take a human being's life for dinner
[00:30:20] Yeah, I was gonna say something about like suck my dickie. Yeah, cuz that's his name. Yeah
[00:30:29] I know I'm not done. I'm suck my dickie
[00:30:36] My first name is suck. My middle name is my and my last name is dickie. You can call me suck
[00:30:43] my dickie
[00:30:45] I never want to call me that you call me suck suck dickie for sure. You can call me suck my dick
[00:30:53] Um good old suck dickie if you like suck dickie you can go to blue if you want to get your dickie suckied
[00:31:01] Yeah, listen up guy and not have a be limp for a change dick don't work
[00:31:06] Check out blue chew calm your dickless bastard
[00:31:09] I guess what you dickly
[00:31:14] Cock piece of you fucking homo
[00:31:17] We got something for you if you like sex you'll like blue chew calm. Oh, yeah
[00:31:21] Blue chew offers men and ladies, but just men a performance and answer
[00:31:27] I suppose some ladies. I suppose a woman could take the pill and see what happens. Yep
[00:31:32] Uh, oh some women have cocks some women
[00:31:35] We're living in the future. No, don't forget if you have a p-h
[00:31:40] It's just a number if you have a penis you have a
[00:31:44] Dick pill if you if science cock
[00:31:48] Yeah, we're doing regional ads
[00:31:51] Yes science curriculum out if you have a lawyer
[00:31:54] Don't Adam. Yeah, you don't know science car fucking no from the american southwest. How are you?
[00:31:59] Yeah, yeah growing up putting some burrows on
[00:32:02] Mm-hmm cutting a little hole in the brim. That's right. You know, that's what orthodox Jews did
[00:32:09] Yeah, well, he would sit in the town fountain
[00:32:11] Okay, and people would be just grab himself as the disguise himself as the fountain
[00:32:17] And it's customary in the Arizona desert to that sort of Nevada. It's the same
[00:32:23] Shit. Yeah, it is. It's the Arizona Arizona State, but the desert is called the Arizona
[00:32:29] It's called the mojabi
[00:32:33] Mm-hmm. I don't know about that man. Yeah, anyway
[00:32:37] Anyway, so you dress up like a fountain and everybody they would come and piss and come in the fountain
[00:32:42] Yep, and you know how they get their dicks hard with blue tree with blue tree dot com a southwest treat
[00:32:48] Which you know, you know sort of the San Francisco treat
[00:32:51] Of the american southwest blue tree dot com. It's their rice oroni
[00:32:55] Yeah, you don't really need to get your dick hard to piss on someone to come on it does to come
[00:33:00] That's how I pissed. Yeah, that's why it takes me so hard. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard
[00:33:06] You don't know that towns bands and so
[00:33:10] Oh, won't you suck the bones of my penis?
[00:33:14] So go all the piss out of me
[00:33:16] Oh
[00:33:22] The online position consult is free they got online doctors. Oh, yeah, yeah
[00:33:27] They really do goodbye Adam
[00:33:29] I guess he's leaving fucking piece of shit. Yeah, he doesn't need it
[00:33:33] He only he only wants to stay for the the part that is not work
[00:33:36] The only part we're paid for the only thing that sort of resembles work. He's like, oh, I have to go to the bathroom
[00:33:46] The online position console all that talk about those guys jacking off on him got him hard. I got him. He's in there jacking off
[00:33:52] He's yeah. He's in there stealing my blue tree pills to get hard so he can piss. Yeah
[00:33:59] Well, that was quick Adam
[00:34:01] Sorry, I'm allergic to this cat and it's just been
[00:34:05] It would be very funny to be just completely hard at a urinal next to some guy
[00:34:10] Can you see yeah, you're standing out so your cock is fully showing
[00:34:16] I have
[00:34:18] The only your head is covered by the urinal but the like hard shaft is out. I have I have a memory
[00:34:25] That would be very funny. Yeah, so you can also use blue tree for that. Yeah, just
[00:34:33] Over and over. Yeah, this is this is it normal
[00:34:37] I was at
[00:34:39] We took my grandparents the strip when they were visiting Vegas once when I was a kid
[00:34:43] And I saw a guy jacking off into a urinal at the Paris Hotel casino. That's awesome
[00:34:48] And it was yeah kind of a traumatic experience. Did you get horny? You're gonna say you know
[00:34:53] I was molested by him. Did you get horny? No, I didn't get horny. I was just and he was molested by him
[00:35:00] And it turns out he was molested
[00:35:05] Good news were back with our guest Adam Friedlands molesta who wrote the book molesting Adam Friedland
[00:35:11] Available at bonds and noble this week
[00:35:15] Thank you for joining us. Tell us did you in fact molest Adam in the Paris
[00:35:20] Hilton hotel
[00:35:22] Now is the Paris the Paris and the one third scale replica of the Paris Hilton hotel in Las Vegas, Arizona
[00:35:31] And it's not erasm. Yes. Yes, I did
[00:35:35] That day that fateful day in where we all know
[00:35:40] factually as the Arizona desert
[00:35:42] Where I was the most prolific molester
[00:35:46] Of Adam's of Adam specifically
[00:35:48] I was molested several to my move would be to use the urinal heart
[00:35:53] And he could not he was entranced. Yeah. He once he said his eyes on a hard and penis. He couldn't look away. Right
[00:36:04] You are very
[00:36:06] sleepy
[00:36:07] You are very gay
[00:36:10] I wonder how easy it is to hypnotize like a a Mexican guy. I think it's
[00:36:14] They're like you're getting sleepy. I know no just
[00:36:18] You're getting sleepy
[00:36:21] But I was I was already sleepy
[00:36:24] Well, that's a really good question man. That's true. Hold on
[00:36:29] I can keep going with this guy. Yeah, why don't you well, you know, we got some business though
[00:36:34] We got business here at the book. Yeah. Come if you're a sleepy Mexican check out blue
[00:36:38] He's cocky saw who's cocky soft. That's hard. Check out bluechoo.com. It can be taken on a fuller empty stomach
[00:36:45] And it's uh cheaper than the other two
[00:36:48] Yeah, let's because you don't have to go to a doctor. Yep. I got out the fucking middleman. No more middleman
[00:36:54] Okay, they offer a performance enhancement. I have no idea where
[00:36:58] They're chewable. They got these days great active ingredients is viagra
[00:37:03] And only takes a few minutes to connect with a bluechoo.com affiliate a physician if you qualify
[00:37:09] You get prescribed online quickly. No in person doctor visit no awkward conversation
[00:37:13] No waiting in line at a pharmacy
[00:37:16] Like some kind of soviet peasant
[00:37:18] Waiting for your ration standards. Well rationing of dick pills
[00:37:23] We live in america, baby. The siege of stalingrad
[00:37:27] You know, they're all waiting for they're they have to get their dicks hard to make more russian people
[00:37:31] Yep, because what was it?
[00:37:34] 78% of their population died died. Yeah, in world war two as much worse than what much worse than what haven't been you don't hear that much
[00:37:41] Wineing about it. They didn't get their own country in the middle east. Yeah, it's because they're soulless
[00:37:45] They kind of just stuck around their own place
[00:37:48] Well, they did get their own country. They have their own country. Yeah, it's Israel
[00:37:53] Huh? No, no, I meant the russian all the Israelis are just russians or no, that's all the europeans. That's not true
[00:37:59] They have a rich culture that's true because all the way back to
[00:38:04] 19th century russia
[00:38:07] Is israel so anyway, yeah, there is ships directly to Israel calm dot israel dot israel dot israel
[00:38:14] Yeah
[00:38:15] Um, all of the pills come with tracking devices discrete packaging that read your mind and make sure that you don't harbor any negative opinions
[00:38:23] About the state of israel the state of israel
[00:38:25] Mm-hmm. And then it's on y'all's administration. Mm-hmm
[00:38:29] What's his deal?
[00:38:30] So he just he just keeps breaking the law and going becoming president they keep having elections
[00:38:35] He keeps he becomes president every like two weeks president like well, he can't form a coalition
[00:38:40] So they keep having that more why because his diggest you soft because they they have like a book if that's the case
[00:38:45] He should go to blue chu.com
[00:38:49] Prescribed online by a doctor and they're made here in the usa
[00:38:52] Mm-hmm, you know, so you don't have to bds if you're a bds guy good news good news
[00:38:58] Blue chu dot com is bds approved. That's right because they're made right here in the usa
[00:39:03] By fucking union guide
[00:39:06] Yeah, I'm on my fucking break over here. What if it was a p p in that tonya who and he pisses on
[00:39:12] I'm palcian's hard. He's a hard a hard pisser. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. So I just thrown that out. That's true. Very good. Thanks. Yeah
[00:39:22] Do you want to do any more without or
[00:39:24] um
[00:39:26] We like do more like an impression impression. Yeah, maybe impression him or he's selling blue chu or yeah wrap up the
[00:39:34] Read as p p net and yahoo. Yeah, we we have a you go to blue chu
[00:39:39] Here's what you tell the audience. You got a great deal for him. They visit blue chu dot com
[00:39:44] We got a great bill for you and they all let me tell you everything
[00:39:47] You remember it and then you do your own version
[00:39:50] It's trying to be verbatim, but but I want to hit all the points
[00:39:53] I'm telling you now. You got to say we here's a great deal for you guys
[00:39:57] It's important that you emphasize great deal and use your voice for that. Mm-hmm. I've got a great deal for you
[00:40:03] And it sounds authentic when you say like BB netz on your like, you know, they could the notes that only someone I'm saying
[00:40:10] Just leave it up to interpretation visit blue chu dot com and get your first order free when you use promo code comtown
[00:40:16] Just pay five dollar shipping. That's bel ue chu dot com promo code comtown
[00:40:23] No, hit it take it away
[00:40:26] Get get get get your first order of blue chu
[00:40:30] Do when you put in the code
[00:40:35] All right, I mean they're kidding already. I don't need to do it as do the fucking character
[00:40:40] Do it as P P netz and yahoo. Hi. I'm P P netz and yahoo
[00:40:45] Sell it. Hi. I'm P P netz and yahoo fucking solid man. I'm just fucking sell the character man
[00:40:52] Tell me this sell me this dick pill
[00:40:54] Hi, I'm so it too. Hi. I'm psh and I'm lecturing. Hi. I'm prime minister people
[00:41:02] Awful fucking job. Okay. Hi. Hi. Come on. Hi. I'm prime minister P P netz on yahoo of Israel sounds like your voiceman
[00:41:11] Hi, I'm P P bet on yahoo of Israel and I'm here to sell you it's teva pharmaceuticals
[00:41:17] Israeli Israeli made dick pill. I mean you made the USA dick pills the day. It's still an ad
[00:41:23] Okay, so I'm here to tell you about blue chu you get a
[00:41:27] promo if you put in comtown
[00:41:30] It once again, it's bel ue chu dot com
[00:41:33] Promo say you had a great deal and I got a great deal and it is a great deal. I could deal line. Okay. All right
[00:41:39] You need a lot of work man. All right. I'll come. I'll you need a lot of work then. I'll think it's you pig fuck
[00:41:48] I'll think it over
[00:41:53] What was which movie is that from what pig fuck yeah, that's from the master. Oh, I've never seen the full master
[00:42:01] It's really good
[00:42:03] pig fuck
[00:42:05] He like loses it in some guy that's like criticizing him the senior Amy Adams jacks him off in the bathroom
[00:42:11] her chitchat
[00:42:13] Yeah, really are they I think she's in a night. She's beating him off. She's beating him. Oh,
[00:42:20] That's awesome
[00:42:21] That rocks, dude. That's pretty cool. I would love to get checked off by Amy Adams. Yeah, she's cool
[00:42:27] He was great. I just re-watched that scene. He's in it heart eight
[00:42:30] Which one he's just in one scene at the casino. He's playing craps
[00:42:33] Oh, yeah, I'm that's do a rewatch for me. I've only seen it like twice. Yeah, it's the first one right
[00:42:40] The first one what the first pta
[00:42:42] Or I guess he made a dirk digler like story like short. I have no idea, but I've never seen that chronology
[00:42:49] I think it's the first one. I
[00:42:51] Don't know couldn't tell you couldn't tell you touch couldn't tell you. I'm just making man making macaroni over here
[00:42:57] Oh, fuck my ass. Hey, oh
[00:43:03] Hey, do me a favor pal. Why don't you come fuck me in my eight but a buco
[00:43:08] Come over here. Suck me on the fucking dick. Hey, pal. You're fucking me in my ass over here
[00:43:13] Come on
[00:43:15] Hey
[00:43:18] Oh, wait, oh what the fake come on you're fucking me the asshole
[00:43:22] Better me over and you're nothing in my fucking ass. She pull my cheeks apart and you're filling me full of goo over
[00:43:28] Oh, you're fucking hit me roll
[00:43:31] The way I like you
[00:43:34] Mama me
[00:43:39] You're making me a bitch
[00:43:42] Fuck it. I feel beautiful
[00:43:45] You're making me feel like a natural woman. You're making me feel like a princess
[00:43:51] I'm your fucking whore right now. Oh, wow in this moment. I'm surrounded completely and totally
[00:43:58] Yeah, you're like, I'm sorry
[00:44:02] He's like, there's a rent away. I could just give you two bucks for the coffee
[00:44:09] You're like, no, it's too sad
[00:44:15] Mama
[00:44:17] My ass. Oh, he just filled my ass up again. You're fucking splitting me in half over here
[00:44:23] You're fucking making me you're making my leg shake if you fucking my boy pussy so hard
[00:44:29] I can't even yeah, I'm squirting out of my cock in my ass. I'm having trouble my prostate feels like it's gonna pop
[00:44:37] You're cream pieing the come out of my ass. Well, you're making me asa loot take a shot of it in a little shot glass
[00:44:43] You're fucking you're biting the back of my neck and twisting my nipples are awful
[00:44:50] The fucking whisper and I love you
[00:44:54] You tell me you see a future for the tour of
[00:44:58] Maybe with the vermont adopt a couple kids. Come on
[00:45:02] You fucking whore
[00:45:04] I got a teeth cleaning today boys. I've already much I gotta go back. I
[00:45:11] Did cancel with this problem, right? Yeah, cuz I had to cancel is a got coronavirus a couple weeks ago. Yeah, wait
[00:45:18] I think I might have had coronavirus. What do you mean? No? Well, you know, I had that weird thing like where I was throwing up all that
[00:45:24] Bile, it's just a flu. All right. Well, and it was flu season. Yeah, but it's also coronavirus season. That's true
[00:45:31] No, it wasn't over here. Yeah, it wasn't here yet. I know but they're saying there's all these people that mild cases
[00:45:37] What if like we all have coronavirus and most of us aren't pussies? That's what I'm saying
[00:45:41] That's why I'm not scared. This is another thing where it's like we were letting the weakest people in the world dictate the
[00:45:49] Emotional landscape
[00:45:51] You know, it's true like why are we scared of it? I don't get it because people can die from it
[00:45:57] Mm. Well, that's that sucks old people old people might die of coronavirus instead of their melanomas
[00:46:05] They're supposed to die in other horrific ways. I mean, I would be sad if my grandma died. I
[00:46:11] If your grandma died
[00:46:15] But she's nice. I mean you'd be sad for him. What's the stop of me going through a hard time?
[00:46:19] But what do you mean you'd be sad for him? I'd be I'd make my own empathy. You're gonna have to break
[00:46:24] Well, he doesn't know that word. I don't know you talk. So basically when your friend is having a tough time shut up
[00:46:32] Dude that's quiet that fucking turbo toothbrush. They use that shit. They go. Yeah, that shit rocks
[00:46:40] Just that noise I can I'm like I'm in pain. No, I mean that
[00:46:46] The tooth brushing part is good the other part where they go this is it has a tiny thing that stabs your shit
[00:46:52] Yeah, that sucks. This scraper so I don't mind being stabbed. It's just like a my gum line
[00:46:56] My teeth are all rotted out at the gum line
[00:46:59] And you know what you need feelings all in that but they liked it when I had cavities there
[00:47:03] They're like does this hurt? I'm like it's excruciating. Yeah, that's what hurts horrifically
[00:47:07] Yeah, what you need to do is get it deep clean is when they fucking numb your shit and then like that's what I had your gums
[00:47:13] I had to be scaled and plain. Yes, I can numb my shit and pull my gums back
[00:47:18] Yes, they did the same afterwards they showed it to me and it looks I mean I like my gums were purple and bleeding like everywhere
[00:47:24] Yeah, but they give they should give you antibacterial
[00:47:27] Yeah, there's a mouthwash I used for two weeks and then clean my shit up because my gums were fucked up
[00:47:31] Yeah, my breath was fucked up. My gums were like like they were round. Yeah, dude
[00:47:36] Shit that was happening to me. I would touch them and they would just bleed me too
[00:47:39] Yeah, but but my doctor was hot and had like lip implants and they're like what what's going on and I'm like I'm an artist
[00:47:45] Yeah
[00:47:48] I don't get high as shit and fall asleep eating Ben and Jerry's every gets a brush my teeth. Yeah
[00:47:55] Every literally every single month. I didn't have a 30 year old recently quote unquote get into diet soda
[00:48:04] That may have something to do with it
[00:48:07] But yeah, my my dentist was so hot that I did not want to ask for pain meds
[00:48:11] Mm-hmm. Cuz if I did she would think I was a bitch and she wouldn't fuck me dude. I did a uh, I told me
[00:48:16] I did that like group on for a whitening and and the whitening thing first of all I don't even need a whitening
[00:48:22] You know, it's like what who cares right who gives a shit. Yeah, but it came free with the cleaning
[00:48:27] So I was like all right. I'll do it. They do not tell you that shit is gonna be fucking like
[00:48:31] It's the worst pain in the world damn for real because whiten it
[00:48:35] Well because they put this shit on your teeth and they put a light on it
[00:48:38] And it's like you have to do three 15 minute sessions in a row
[00:48:42] And then like seven minutes in you'll just get like nerve pain in one tooth. It's like a fucking like
[00:48:48] Oh, fuck. What was that?
[00:48:50] And it'll go away. You're like all right. They're like, yeah, that'll happen
[00:48:53] And then it's like then another minute later. It's like another one
[00:48:57] And you're like oh fuck and then it'll just go like across an entire row of teeth and then it's like excruciating
[00:49:02] That's awful. I did one 150 minute session and I'm like, I don't I'm like, does it any like they're like
[00:49:08] We'll see how like much whiter it got and they bring the chart out and they're like, yeah
[00:49:11] You're a shit's already like as white as it's I mean it can go maybe a shade or two lighter
[00:49:16] Yeah, but it's fine where it is. Yeah, I was like, then why the fuck are you doing?
[00:49:22] Because you got the group on well, I got the group on I'm like, yeah, I don't want to fucking do
[00:49:26] I mean, it's like not worth it to me
[00:49:28] Like I wouldn't get it. I wouldn't I barely get my fucking haircut if I went to if it hurt to get my haircut
[00:49:37] I wouldn't do it right, you know, I got you. Yeah, no it was and but then it continues hurting for another 24 hours
[00:49:44] I remember that it'll just you'll add a nowhere. You'll get like fucking like, you know
[00:49:47] We did a we did an episode where you were like every like two minutes. It's from the ultraviolet light
[00:49:53] It's something I don't know what the fuck it is, but that's that technology isn't there. Mm-hmm. You know
[00:49:58] Yeah, I wanted to do a whitening before I got my tooth, you know
[00:50:02] Get everything a shade lighter before the new you just gotta pull the Sean Patton and just save up and give him ears
[00:50:07] I don't want for years. I'm gonna get new eyeballs. No, you're not. Yeah, it's a couple of baby blues. No, we'll see you get soulless now
[00:50:13] Just all stitches and shit
[00:50:15] So fucked up some dead guys eyes
[00:50:22] Just waves into my face
[00:50:25] You would look weird as shit with blue eyes. Yeah, I would probably what Boris or
[00:50:31] Less trustworthy probably interesting sometimes when you get people don't trust our features that has like
[00:50:38] Randomly blue like like the day get
[00:50:40] You would look weird with blue eyes. Yeah, I have like blue green. No one's ever looked at no good shit
[00:50:45] No, people tell me you don't have eyes all the time. You know, I do what you saying I have brown eyes
[00:50:52] Take it back seriously
[00:50:54] Take it fucking back. Yeah, they're like green brown green brown. Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of a die
[00:51:01] Fuck right off both of you. It's sort of like a baby shit
[00:51:04] That is like a baby's diaper
[00:51:10] We got a couple of baby diaper
[00:51:14] Yeah
[00:51:17] Because he's in love with himself
[00:51:22] If you insult them, you don't have the kind of eyes though that like
[00:51:25] No, I don't have crystal blue eyes that somebody that are striking
[00:51:29] Yeah, like in a way that someone's like whoa, what the fuck
[00:51:32] Those eyes are too much my dad has black hair and blue eyes
[00:51:37] That's that could be you know, that can I suppose that can work out
[00:51:41] I just mean, I don't know maybe because I just know you
[00:51:44] First like if you have blue ass eyes
[00:51:47] Why is your eyes are dark?
[00:51:49] Why don't you just get color contacts because I don't actually give a shit or maybe like
[00:51:53] Because I don't really care because this started off as me cutting someone's eyes out putting them in my head
[00:51:58] Why don't you get like West Borland from Limp Biscuit the black like just get black?
[00:52:03] The only thing I would do is I told you if I lose an eye get a little eight ball
[00:52:06] Yeah, I think that would be cool. That would be sick. That would be tight. An eight ball with cross hairs over it. Yeah
[00:52:12] And then people like what's sad I'm like you got to kill the eight ball. The oh what?
[00:52:17] I'm like, I'm part Native American
[00:52:22] And then they stopped talking to me. Yeah, that's
[00:52:24] Really
[00:52:26] Is in a bar. Let's go back to drinking. Yeah, what's that about you got to kill the eight ball?
[00:52:31] You got to kill the eight ball. Is that me? It's a Native American part. It's a saying from the Chippa Kwa. Yeah, you know the Chippa Kool. I'm the Chippendale Indian
[00:52:43] I'm a Chipperson Indian
[00:52:46] What's that? It's just like a guy. It's like a retarded guy that Jim Norton does
[00:52:50] And he spun it off. He spun it off. There's a podcast is a podcast. I to be honest with you
[00:52:56] I have no idea what I have never listened to. Yeah
[00:53:02] Oh fuck I've wanted to shout out there was a fat guy that made a three-pointer
[00:53:07] And I wanted to shout him out as a member of the community
[00:53:10] In the NBA. No, it Jackson State University. I believe
[00:53:15] I want to get his name correct. His nickname was Snacks
[00:53:18] Oh
[00:53:20] Thomas Snacks Lee
[00:53:23] Salute to you for shooting a three-pointer
[00:53:27] That the Jackson State game
[00:53:30] His nickname should be Sarah
[00:53:32] Thomas Sarah Lee. Yeah. Well, apparently when he was new I read the whole article about him
[00:53:37] He's the team man. He's the team's manager
[00:53:40] And they let him on the team and it was the last game of its senior night
[00:53:43] Oh, and they let him shoot three three points and he swished it and the way he ingratiated himself to the team was by bringing
[00:53:51] Snacks to the locker room when he first got there. So they all wasn't even fat. He just he had he provided snacks
[00:53:59] Yes, you remember there was a fat quarterback for Kentucky
[00:54:02] What's your home page like what's is it fudge report?
[00:54:06] The budget stories like this no
[00:54:09] I
[00:54:09] Follow a lot of guys a lot of basketball pages though and snacks was all over
[00:54:14] Basketball, he did for his three-pointer. He did and he swished it by the way
[00:54:19] Uh his snacks uh developed mentally disabled. No, he's no
[00:54:23] Obese because a lot of the time they like the retarded guy
[00:54:27] Like playing the last game of the season. Yeah, this is like that but with a very fat man
[00:54:31] Oh, and so all those listen all those develop me develop mentally disabled guys
[00:54:37] They get a big story and everybody shouts them out. What about the regular about when you're fat as shit
[00:54:44] No one ever talked about he's very he's quite a fat man
[00:54:47] You do if you're a fat woman, but yeah fat guys really don't so I just wanted to take this moment
[00:54:52] And say kudos to you Thomas snacks salute
[00:54:56] Salud my friend. You remember when kudos came out
[00:54:59] I don't actually were they like granola bars. They were chocolate. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. I do. Yeah
[00:55:09] Yeah, they were the OG they kind of got murked by the chewy corporation
[00:55:13] Yeah, but kudos were new at one point. Yep, and I remember because I forget where I was
[00:55:18] I think it like a pool or something. Yes, that's exactly where you would have a kudos. Well z 104
[00:55:23] The funk radio station. Uh-huh had something set up where they were like 104 three. Was he 104?
[00:55:29] I can't remember it all was at the top. I never listened. I don't remember. Yeah, I don't
[00:55:34] I remember it sucked. Yeah, it was like just share and stuff. Yes, uh, my
[00:55:39] I'm pretty sure closeted homosexual roommate in college. Yeah, uh
[00:55:44] Blasted it on our way when we to our internship. Yeah
[00:55:48] But they had something set up where there was maybe he's not homosexual, but he's there's something going on that he's hiding
[00:55:53] You could spin a wheel like a pinwheel. Yes. And then one of the prizes was I
[00:55:57] I won three kudos. Oh, yeah, and I was like this is fucking and they're granola bars. They're healthy. Yeah
[00:56:03] It was just big-ass chocolate chips in them. I love kudos. Yeah
[00:56:08] That rate that little blip in time when all of society considered granola bars with chocolate all over them
[00:56:15] All the shit. I mean nobody knew what the fuck was healthy until like four years ago
[00:56:19] Yeah, you've been just but you pound in Arizona iced tea and chocolate chips
[00:56:24] Yeah, get the green tea when you get the extra pointed little guy hiking on a cliff bar being like, yeah, that's
[00:56:30] It's exercise. This is what you would eat if you were around a mountain
[00:56:35] It's fuel. Yeah, give me fuel. Give me five give me cliff balls that I desire. Yeah
[00:56:41] Cliff bars are good as shit dude. They're mad good. I like the white chocolate macadamia
[00:56:46] I might hit up. I might hit up Costco after this. I gotta get more coconut water respect
[00:56:51] You you wanna be on the election likes
[00:56:53] Let your likes um no, but I'll tell you this here's a fun secret for you guys if i'm going to the gym
[00:56:58] Which I have I had a six month hiatus, but i'm back in the gym now nice
[00:57:03] um most people
[00:57:05] I mean, it's kind of like I don't know if it's universal but the optimum nutrition way is sort of the
[00:57:10] It's the best tasting the good shit, but the and this is not a breed
[00:57:14] Oh, by the way, yeah, this is affiliation
[00:57:18] It's literally personal opinion, but do you get the I think that's the double rich chocolate?
[00:57:23] I don't know. It's buying on amazon, but if you mix it with coconut water. Oh, yes. You told me this it fucking tastes exactly like you who
[00:57:32] I'm so i'm so curious about this. Yeah, I'm gonna do this
[00:57:36] And it's their muscles right and I had the I had the ratio figured out it was like 200 milliliters to 10 grams 10 grams of the whey protein
[00:57:44] Did every 200 milliliters how much is 10 grams two scoops? No, it's like a half a scoop half
[00:57:49] It's like not even a full half scoop or but that's I mean
[00:57:52] For every 10 grams 200 milliliters of coconut water. Uh-huh if you put 30 in there then it's 600
[00:57:59] Yeah, yeah, I'm a little whisk in there spinning up
[00:58:02] Mm-hmm in my hands and it tastes like you who and it tastes just like you you mean you're saying just
[00:58:08] Exactly like you who you who's like in a fucking in a fucking taste test you would not be able to disagree
[00:58:14] We should do it. I wouldn't exaggerate. We should do the on air taste test
[00:58:17] I'm not one of these fucking like you know, it tastes just like you know
[00:58:21] And it just kind of just kind of tastes like it you're on some retarded diet
[00:58:25] Yeah, yeah, yeah, because when I die it I go insane with it and it's like everything should taste bad. It's punishment, right?
[00:58:30] You know you're reducing yourself to being an animal. Yeah a cage
[00:58:35] The cage of your mind and body
[00:58:38] I really want to just transition to having one of those podcasts. Yeah, you know
[00:58:42] Why not my guests are a guy that goes around pretending to be in the ABCL
[00:58:47] You know
[00:58:49] It's just like have you ever thought about doing karate but to yourself
[00:58:54] I wake up every morning and I imagine
[00:58:56] kicking my own ass
[00:58:58] I
[00:59:00] Just think about just be just kicking my ass with karate
[00:59:05] And that's that's the mentality you need to be in to start your day screaming into the mirror
[00:59:15] But i'm telling you man that you too you who tip let's do let's do a live taste test and see if i can
[00:59:21] Next week a one day we're gonna do it. I'm out of coconut water
[00:59:24] Well, you'll go to Costco this weekend and on monday. We'll have our you you who
[00:59:29] Challenge. Mm. Do they still make you who yes? Yeah, fuck. What are you retarded? I don't see it
[00:59:34] What are you a mentable? We mean you don't see it. Where do you see it? Do you go into bodegas? You know, it's fucking gay
[00:59:39] I don't see that change the orangeina bottle now
[00:59:43] We look like they never needed to they kept it the sexy bottle
[00:59:46] They kept it the same way for so long that it became an iconic it was icon
[00:59:50] fucking brand curvaceous and then as soon as people were like, you know, it's cool the orangeina bottle they were like
[00:59:56] Let's go fucking crazy. What is it? Like?
[00:59:59] It looks stupid. It looks like everything else
[01:00:01] That's plastic. It's not glass anymore. It's not that glass Hershey kiss shape. He's a love orange dude
[01:00:06] And you felt classy drink. Yeah, you felt like a friend you are a surprise
[01:00:11] Going to the beer store with my dad and getting my orangeina was like oh, yeah, fucking highlight of the day absolutely every morning
[01:00:18] He's
[01:00:19] Driving to school. Yeah, he's getting a little swerving
[01:00:27] Give me fuel suck my penis. Let me suck on onto your penis
[01:00:29] You know, I love about the beer store too is uh the little blimps
[01:00:33] What do you mean? I have the inflatable? Oh, yeah, that's like blood light on yeah. Yeah, yeah
[01:00:39] Oh, yeah, those were awesome. Well, they're supposed to be like I was like man. I can't wait in the
[01:00:19] Drive me to school. Yeah, he's getting a little swerving
[01:00:27] Give me fuel suck my penis. Let me suck on onto your penis
[01:00:29] You know, I love about the beer store too is uh the little blimps
[01:00:33] What do you mean? I have the inflatable? Oh, yeah, that's like blood light on yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah
[01:00:39] Those were awesome. They're supposed to be like I was like man. I can't wait in the tomamogromo. I'm drinking
[01:00:43] I'm drinking so yeah, I'm here all the time as well
[01:00:49] Uh, I hope I get this disease from my father
[01:00:55] And the good news is we all do yeah, we all get the same problem
[01:01:00] As hard as we try to be different
[01:01:02] We just ultimately become that give me fuel suck my penis. Let me suck onto your penis
[01:01:16] Just changing lyrics to that
[01:01:19] People are like what?
[01:01:22] This isn't
[01:01:23] Try whoever the fuck yeah, give me fuel give me penis. This is a metallic
[01:01:33] Fuck I'm about to go to JFK. I already feel myself making a slutty airport decision. What are you gonna get?
[01:01:40] I don't know. It depends what's it. Isn't that always a fun
[01:01:43] Moment where you're like in your area and you're like how much time do I have what's around?
[01:01:48] Mm-hmm. You feel like you get it's like a scavenger hunt for the best meal possible. Yeah. Yeah, I do laps
[01:01:55] And I'm just satisfied with all the options
[01:01:58] And I like going to LaGuardia because they have that whole stealing area. I love the stealing area
[01:02:02] Yeah, where it's the they put they put in self because it used to be there was a counter that was like so far away from all the shit
[01:02:09] That it was like, please just steal whatever you want. Yeah. Yeah, and now they put in self checkout
[01:02:14] Which is like just let it just walk. Oh, yeah. This is well what I've taken to doing is
[01:02:21] While I wait for like a sandwich or something there. I eat two kind bars. Yeah, just while waiting. Yeah, it's awesome
[01:02:29] You just have your whole meal in the area you can in that yeah, a little buffet. Yep. That's attended to by like one bengaladash
[01:02:36] Oh, yeah in the in the jet blues or the food hole. No, they have one in the jet blues. No, you don't know what we're talking about
[01:02:42] It's before you get to either terminal. It's like before c and d. Yeah, you're right. See in the oh it look
[01:02:49] It's delta terminal two. Yep, it's between the two delta terminals. Yeah, I think one other
[01:02:55] Somebody else but I see I'm excited about JFK because I know LaGuardia. I know what I'm getting there. JFK sucks
[01:03:02] JFK sucks really jfk is a garbage airport. It's not as bad as it's extremely fucking busy
[01:03:07] But it's the delta it takes like an hour to get through security
[01:03:10] Yeah, but I think delta is in the international terminal
[01:03:14] So they have their own dedicated terminal and then they they also like
[01:03:18] Most times when I take delta from jfk's then but the last time I took delta from jfk the food situation was good. I remember
[01:03:24] Oh, I don't know, but I remember specifically why I thought that
[01:03:30] Anyway, anyway, hopefully there's a chick fillet
[01:03:33] Do they have those in airports? Oh, yeah, are you kidding me? I haven't seen one. You don't fly enough brother
[01:03:39] I haven't seen one jk. I've been rode dogging at this last year and believe me there. They're in there
[01:03:44] Well, I guess more in the south. I guess
[01:03:46] Give me fuel. Let me see your penis on for the other in the south. They always have that
[01:03:51] Burrito place that southern burrito place mose southern burrito. See look how fat snacks is dude. Oh, he's mad fat
[01:03:58] He's fed as shit. Let me see him. He rules dude
[01:04:01] The crowd was chanting snacks snacks snacks. Oh, yeah, that man is fat bro
[01:04:11] He's looks thinner than you know real stop
[01:04:15] What number is he nine thirty five?
[01:04:17] Yeah, this should have given him. I mean he literally looks no he stuffed into his uniform
[01:04:22] Okay, yeah, but I mean if you had those clothes on I would look similar. Yes, but not fatter
[01:04:27] Yeah
[01:04:34] Shouts out the snacks that looks really fun. I wish I had a three me too
[01:04:41] I had a couple layups in middle school
[01:04:43] All right, well, I gotta catch this flight. All right. Have a good trip. Thank you for listening everyone
[01:04:49] Bernie is still good. You can still win fucklady's a bit of the war and well, who knows let's see what she does soon
[01:04:53] But yeah, probably oh my god. I got with do about the jaundice
[01:04:59] Keep keep keep supporting Bernard. I want Joe Biden's a wonder lord. We're doing so bad
[01:05:07] I'm again in the indian tiktok. Oh, that's good. Yeah, we got a lot of episodes to do
[01:05:13] Yeah
[01:05:14] Come to we have funny moms
[01:05:16] Funny mom on the night on the night
[01:05:18] Uh, go to stabby.biz slash tour to see me again tomorrow phoenix and then friday tuson and then i'm in
[01:05:26] Uh
[01:05:27] Dublin at the sugar club on the 29th and i'm at the seo hoe theater in london the 31st of march to the 4th of april
[01:05:34] I don't give a fuck about this fucking disease if i'm gonna get it. I might get it eating fish and chips
[01:05:40] Um, so i'm gonna be there having a and then we're going to australia
[01:05:43] Come town dot event for all of the show. I'm gonna die like arthur
[01:05:50] That would be pretty tight. You keep wanting to die like arthur. Arthur dies heroically. Uh, I am a hero to many
[01:05:55] You're you're you're fucking mica. You're just some hate naz bitch. Wow. No, i'm going to mica. Yeah, you're mica. Don't say that