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Ep. 199 - Lockdown Raw

Cum Town | Regular | 03/19/2020

[00:00:00] Now we're recording now we're recording welcome to the premium episode for the week
[00:00:05] We're probably deep in quarantine now. Yeah, that's a fun thing cuz we thought we were gonna have to pre-record episodes
[00:00:11] Cuz I was going on the road and I was going on the road and then we were going on the road and then we were
[00:00:15] Yeah, Adam certainly wasn't on the road, but he had a gay sex festival in Torrance right though
[00:00:21] I was going on the road, but he was not going on the road at all. He was going on the road
[00:00:25] He was gonna hang out at Spencer's gifts and giggle
[00:00:27] Yeah, he was going on a little giggling towards favorite thing on a ton of life as a highway kind of soul service
[00:00:35] He's going out to keep
[00:00:39] Who's also another person that's ugly but in a way that doesn't do anything for them in Brooklyn
[00:00:47] Go find people that anywhere else in America would be equally hideous yeah to him and then giggle at them from his his
[00:00:55] His vaping throne. Mm-hmm. What do you say?
[00:00:59] To fuck just to laugh to Laggle them you're a giggler
[00:01:04] Like giggling people I like the giggling a lot of character you don't give a lot of people
[00:01:09] There's a difference true giggling is a mentality. I mean you physically yes literally give him a giggler all the time
[00:01:17] The giggler you know what I'm talking about I do know it
[00:01:20] Yeah, that's like Adam getting in trouble for filming that that that
[00:01:23] Stourdess who is trying to fix the thing that I broke
[00:01:30] That was not me who is filming who knows my ex-girlfriend Adam and his girlfriend
[00:01:35] Let's cope. Let's have a nice couples moment by giggling together. We were not giggling
[00:01:40] She she got yelled at strong black woman trained
[00:01:43] She got yelled at a normal a hair do her job of fixing my you're putting something on me the power of my wife
[00:01:49] That's true. I yeah, I will say you're putting something on me that I absolutely 100% did not do Adam is better
[00:01:56] Than that behavior. Mm-hmm that a dumb bitch. But that but that was the basis at someone that yeah
[00:02:04] Oh, maybe that's why she was like
[00:02:07] She was like you like giggling also. Yeah, you like mocking you're also fortunate. You're also a giggler
[00:02:14] There were other bases let's let's giggle anyway anyway, we do not you were gonna go have gay sex
[00:02:24] Giggles yes, we were on the road doing comedy
[00:02:31] Sweaten working out. Yeah wipe my brow meaning people to put in the hard work putting the hard world
[00:02:36] And couldn't walking through an hour and then just looking around and seeing who's desperate enough to fuck me that
[00:02:42] Already the end of the tour with Chicago is already looking forward to going to the original house of pancakes
[00:02:47] They yes a couple blocks away from Chicago rules dude. She got goes fine. I like it considering that it's in the middle of the Midwest
[00:02:54] It's but that's what that neighborhood where what you call it is it in is kind of wack Boston
[00:03:00] Regley that was the old one. Oh, they're they moved it to
[00:03:04] Fuck what's it called fuck her park wicker part? Yeah, I think so or south side boss. It's a round
[00:03:11] Outside Boston Chicago. Yeah, I'm in tree Chicago. Yep, South East Chicago Roxbury, Chicago
[00:03:16] Yeah, the town Chicago. Well over here having deep dish pizza kid Charles town, Chicago
[00:03:21] I'm having a fucking
[00:03:24] But that Italian beef kid. Yeah
[00:03:28] Nothing I love more than fucking
[00:03:30] snowstorms
[00:03:31] The cut the the bears the bears the bears
[00:03:36] the bears
[00:03:38] You're talking about the South African diamond company yeah the bears the bears. Yeah
[00:03:44] Not not kid. I'm talking about the base. I have nothing bad to say
[00:03:50] Some other kinds of Chicago things it can be said in a Boston actually yeah
[00:03:56] You know Chicago doesn't have anything they got they got deep dish. No, that's the thing
[00:04:01] This is why the Midwest sucks the bean what if we have our own version of something who hold on other place already did
[00:04:06] I will say this they have there is a pan style Chicago pizza. Yeah, that's what yeah
[00:04:13] They're deep dish pizza. No the deep dishes flat
[00:04:15] That is crispy and good and I will fucking give them you're having with your hands
[00:04:19] That shit is delicious. But Chicago style pizza is good. It's not deep dish sucks Chicago styles good deep dish deep dish is fine
[00:04:27] It's I think it's pretty good. It's a different thing. It's not as good
[00:04:32] But I will I will go as so far as to say that chewy, you know fried oily shit
[00:04:36] They got a big crust shit that they got I even prefer it to fucking New York pizza flat pizza. Mm-hmm. Damn
[00:04:42] It's that good that the registers you hit on that
[00:04:49] I love it don't even believe the words coming I believe it 100% you know
[00:04:53] This is the closest you've ever walked to being alienated by your community. I'm absolutely not in fact what I'm doing is standing up
[00:05:00] for my community that's because I'm not afraid of voice because you're going out on a list
[00:05:04] Yeah, I am not a friend all the other fat guys
[00:05:07] I am not afraid stop listen first of all their head first of all I
[00:05:12] Geeze out the stuff. He's fucking out. They put on their stuff out
[00:05:17] They put on their Hawaiian shirt
[00:05:19] Either stops out
[00:05:21] He's these turned his back on the first of all that's how out of touch you are with the fucking community because what I just
[00:05:27] I'm not a member of the community exactly exactly even though you claim
[00:05:32] You know it used to be emotional membership or some sort of some sort of connection to it from
[00:05:38] No, let me let me explain this and explain this and here's with the community can never relate to my position
[00:05:44] Because and I've said as much before but as a personal a person has been fat your entire life
[00:05:49] Yes, you are in a persistent state of ongoing trauma
[00:05:53] Okay, so you don't understand what the other side of it is like right so you have nothing to contrast it to so imagine you're being raped
[00:06:01] Your entire life. It's a mad you're like what's going on? I don't know so you would say being overweight is the equivalent to
[00:06:08] Constantly being raped your whole life. Yes, literally. Yes, you're in it. It's an ongoing state of developing trauma
[00:06:14] So you never have time to move to have a period of fugue where you don't understand it's been done to you
[00:06:21] And then come out on the other end when you're like, oh fuck my life was awful
[00:06:24] Right. Well, anyway, look that point aside what I'm telling you is
[00:06:28] The community will back me fully in 100% some of them will when I say I'm just saying that it was
[00:06:35] Hot take that a pant no, it's not a hot take that I heard it in your voice. It's not a hot take
[00:06:40] Yeah, why do you do a Jewish style?
[00:06:42] First of all that I'm doing it style sentence what I'm doing is I'm trying to get a little a little variety
[00:06:49] You did it the way the the register that you took the liver crescendos
[00:06:56] Those the register arpeggiating my takes the register you took in that sense in that sentence was you know
[00:07:03] Jeffrey Epstein was having sex with girls over 13 years old. That's not a bad first of all
[00:07:09] I got nothing I got nothing like they were babies
[00:07:12] I got nothing against that
[00:07:14] Way the that style of speaking. Yeah, what I have a problem with is the content
[00:07:19] So what I have done is taken the abhorrent content to Jews
[00:07:24] Support everywhere the rounds everywhere use wrap I say in their sermons and I've used it for good
[00:07:32] To say that that crispy fucking doughy
[00:07:35] Pizza crust is better than flat New York shit. That's what I'm saying. They're both good
[00:07:41] But I like a chewier. It's like a little sandwich and as a fat man
[00:07:45] I know fat man everywhere will have my back and I'm not scared of that. I'm not scared of losing my support
[00:07:51] Amongst my boys. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm a I'm a beacon of light for my fat brethren out there
[00:07:57] You too can get pussy if you just buy track suits and make a lot of money
[00:08:02] That's that's the difference become famous. That's what we put set it over the edge for you
[00:08:07] You know and legitimately have a good personality good personality fun guy to be around
[00:08:11] That's actually what it is. I'll give you that be a fun guy to be around
[00:08:15] Be a good hang and also you got pussy before that's my enduring skill is being a good hang
[00:08:20] And getting my my little nut sucked
[00:08:24] That's skill is a skill. I get my nuts suck great. It's like good to Chinese checker
[00:08:32] I am great at getting my nuts. I play Chinese checkers
[00:08:35] Nick in Canada. He kicked my ass is that a real game is very good at Chinese checkers
[00:08:40] Yeah, I gotta say is there rules and shit to it. No, there's no rules. No, it's just a Jewish star with little balls
[00:08:48] Actually German too. It's not Chinese. Wow, but they just called it Chinese checkers. I did not know
[00:08:53] I was laughing today
[00:08:54] It's how funny is it that fucking Chinese people?
[00:08:57] Immigrated to the US and they were like, yeah, we're going to Opa restaurant and make a food called poo poo platter
[00:09:04] Yeah, that is a very nice. We're like fucking
[00:09:08] Hell yeah, that sounds awesome, and you know what poo platters are good. Did you hear about how Corona started?
[00:09:14] Is that real the bat shitting on the arm?
[00:09:19] Something called wet markets, which sounds absolutely disgusting. Yeah, we're bats shit all over the food
[00:09:26] Where they had a bat shit on an armadillo and then someone ate the armadillo and then gotten was patient zero of the
[00:09:33] Crisis that is what I've heard
[00:09:35] What's what's what's maybe I'm propagating something?
[00:09:38] Racist yeah, what's worse the dredges of of like urban China and her cuisine at or just the things that girls do in college
[00:09:49] Well when they go wild
[00:09:51] I'm gonna try and shove an entire desktop computer in my post it there was a there was a scale
[00:10:00] We're gonna go to the library
[00:10:02] Celine's putting all of the computers in her post it to steal the
[00:10:06] She just wakes up a bunch of wires leading out
[00:10:10] Back in the library. Oh, yeah, somebody stole the computers. Yeah, there's a bunch of delves missing
[00:10:18] There's a bunch of delves, but the wires are going into your pussy and we're just wondering if we follow this long ass wire
[00:10:24] From the library directly to your pussy
[00:10:31] There was a scandal in my well, there's a TikTok video of you wooing and shoving all the computers
[00:10:38] You're on TikTok wooing. Yep. You're on TikTok doing the renegade and putting delves in your pussy
[00:10:43] Yeah, I mean you say that about a bat shitting on an armadillo and some guy eating it and you just hear like fucking LMFA
[00:10:51] Oh playing
[00:10:53] Put him in like a two-top and I know it I'm shocked that it wasn't one of those mukbang girls that was patient zero
[00:11:00] Put in the live octopus in her mouth and shit. I think that's a is that Chinese or in Japanese?
[00:11:05] Oh, no mukbang is those eating accounts Korean those are Korean. Yeah. Yeah, you fucking uncultured those girls are those girls are pretty hot
[00:11:12] Oh, yeah, I think I got a live little calamari
[00:11:15] They can put I get I can imagine that's something they get see goin and see in a cute girl eating it in an in an
[00:11:21] Ordinary amount of food honestly until the point where they're eating like live eels and shit
[00:11:26] Yes, but seeing a bitch eat a bunch of noodles and shit and dreaming of that being my wife
[00:11:31] My hot little wife that I can eat the same amount as and we can fuck after all I guess before you want to fuck before eating all that
[00:11:37] That I gotta be honest it sucks that you can't have a decadent meal and then be at your peak sexually
[00:11:45] It should you should be able to make that's dude
[00:11:47] That's a rule like if you're going out for Valentine's Day dinner. You gotta hit it first
[00:11:52] I know but that's a fucking shame
[00:11:54] Also nice that as an aside Valentine's Day dinner never go out on that. It's a fucking scam. I love that move in a relationship
[00:12:01] Black being like, uh, why I should probably eat something first. I don't feel well and then you something like why?
[00:12:06] Too much
[00:12:09] To avoid sex with the person oh
[00:12:14] See for me, it's always like damn trying to bust this little no, I guess I gotta play video games
[00:12:19] And I guess you need to be quiet
[00:12:21] I need utmost silence because you're ruining the immersion
[00:12:25] Yes, and I will be playing all the the the bullets will be fired at 1080 piece around sound
[00:12:32] But I need you to be you need to shut fuck up you
[00:12:37] Damn, I need I'm gonna go to Chinatown get a little massage. I got one recently
[00:12:41] I didn't like it
[00:12:42] I only go when my shit's fucked up because you go when you're you're something hurts, and then they can fix it
[00:12:47] Yeah, you go when you're fine, then they'll hurt something that's sure that he did hurt my shoulders
[00:12:52] Yeah, but my back my low my back is fucked up
[00:12:54] Mm-hmm because I had to go get I went to go get my cuz I you know the boy needs special insoles now
[00:12:59] It's for my feet to work because of tearing to work. Yes because of her tearing tearing my your platter your planner
[00:13:07] Yeah, so I gave I fucking gave my podiatrist the old ones to fix and then make new ones
[00:13:14] And now I'm just going walking around with store bought
[00:13:17] Insoles like a fucking shoals
[00:13:19] And I think it's fucked up my whole alignment
[00:13:23] I just remember being a Chinese restaurant with my friend Brendan like 15 years ago
[00:13:28] And he just started like cracking up and he doesn't laugh very often
[00:13:33] Then he just points at some old Chinese guy that had like a like a medically short leg
[00:13:37] Mm-hmm and the guy had a shoe like a shoe that he probably made himself a wood job
[00:13:44] Giant wooden shoe just like painted matte black. That's awesome
[00:13:48] Oh God damn I forgot about that specific just a disabled man. Yeah
[00:14:01] Now that he would make his own shoe, that's a great. That's a nice aspect of that whole story. Mm-hmm
[00:14:08] Oh fuck yeah, I got dumplings and fucking gelato the other day, dude
[00:14:13] Just I'm begging the coronavirus. I'm trying me motherfucker. Mm-hmm. I'm going to die the hormone of Iris
[00:14:22] You get tits. Yeah, they get even bigger
[00:14:25] That would be awesome big old pair of British titties if there was a fucking disease that made women's breasts large
[00:14:32] But killed like a quarter of the men. I would do it. Yeah. Yeah, of course
[00:14:37] What do you mean you would do I would do the disease? I would allow that to happen
[00:14:41] Oh, yeah, you would think it's good. I would think it's good. Yeah. Well, I think yes
[00:14:45] Of course if there were fewer guys fewer guys in bigger titties. Wow. Oh my god
[00:14:51] What are what are what are I and it only kills man over six three?
[00:14:56] With hair now we're talking the playboy equation the play the playboy virus. Yeah, that's the movie
[00:15:03] Oh, let's just call the playboy the playboy content can
[00:15:07] It's reaction the playboy reaction. Yeah with the Keanu Reeves and Russell crowd
[00:15:14] That's a nice to some I fuck with both those guys dude. I started watching gladiator came on
[00:15:20] So fucking classic bro
[00:15:23] Movie rocks. I tried to watch it recently
[00:15:26] Shut the fuck up
[00:15:30] Now okay, I get called that I got hot takes because I said fucking
[00:15:35] It's not a hot test. It was one of my favorite movies as a kid. No, here's the atom constantly as hot takes
[00:15:41] That's sure it's a rarity for you to especially to red line on the take halfway through saying it
[00:15:47] I didn't first of all redlining is not that does not what that means
[00:15:50] Redlining in the sense that you're like fucking peeking out and I didn't redline it. Yeah, you're like actually even the deep dish
[00:15:57] I did not run the tape back. I said it with complete authority
[00:16:02] Run the tape back. I said it with complete authority
[00:16:07] I don't mean redlining in the sense of like a bank. Yeah, you know, yeah, like you're you're you're clipping
[00:16:12] I wasn't clipping at all. You're going outside the bounds of your your comfort
[00:16:16] I was not clipping. I was not clipping and I don't do takes I say the truth. That's the difference
[00:16:24] That is not at all what I sound like I did not
[00:16:28] Oh
[00:16:32] Tell me you have that motherfucking pizza and you tell me it's not better than fucking flat New York pizza
[00:16:37] I like all kinds of pizza. I'm what you call a pizza diplomat. Mmm. Yeah, it's bimonie gardens is
[00:16:44] I won't be I was grandmas. I am not grandma's well. Okay. Thank you. Here we go. This is a chewier
[00:16:50] More fucking oily grandma's have you been to the money garden? I've had a slice five. You didn't think I trust you that it's good
[00:16:57] You're probably right. Thank you. I'm saying in your presentation of the the take no you became worried
[00:17:03] I was not worried that you might violate the rules of the community
[00:17:06] I was not first of all I am never worried
[00:17:08] I'm a I'm never worried about the community usually and that's why it's it's worth pointing out the times
[00:17:16] I'm never worried. I don't care. Especially not with the community. Not true dude. You saw yourself front page on the
[00:17:22] News are not all fat boys monthly stop. Fuck up. No stop done. Fuck them
[00:17:29] first of all an op-ed written in the newsletter by Louis Anderson. I might buy my fuck this guy
[00:17:35] Michael barbecue
[00:17:39] No, dude, first if the if the mainstream fat media turn against me I would I would fucking spurn them
[00:17:45] I would go outside of them. You're watching big boy
[00:17:49] Oh
[00:17:51] Sweet baby Ray
[00:17:53] My guest tonight is the esteemed yellow Eminem
[00:17:58] And Bob's big boy. We're here discussing stop roses
[00:18:03] recent
[00:18:05] Opera bait. What is the word?
[00:18:07] Aprobrium. I don't know. I don't fucking know is that a word a
[00:18:10] Probrium. What does it mean? I don't know. It's it's felt like the funniest word to say I
[00:18:15] Don't know I can't remember I like I'm just you know what I'm going on
[00:18:21] Go ahead, man. Take it for a walk
[00:18:24] Dictionary dog. Here's the thing dude. Here's what I'll say if the fat community ever turn against me
[00:18:29] I would fucking flip it on them. I would go third party. I would behave the way Bernie should after they try and fuck him
[00:18:35] Dude, that's right or you know what to do to do a thing from history. Yeah, it is a program
[00:18:41] The Theodore Roosevelt bull moose party. Yes, this type of shit. I would it means the public disgrace arising from someone shameful
[00:18:48] Con I wouldn't never I'm not appropriate. That's why yes, that's exactly good. That's a great word
[00:18:54] Yeah, sorry for us recent appropriate first of all the fat community can never appropriate me motherfuckers
[00:19:00] Suck me if you're out there and you disagree with my take on yeah take that lizzo
[00:19:04] Mm-hmm. Yeah for real. It's like the last scene from movie the one where you're on top of like but it's like a
[00:19:11] Chocolate fun do fountain. I haven't seen the one. Yeah, nobody has what's the one? It's a jet Li and Jason state them
[00:19:19] Oh wait, I have seen that that old black guy that's like not
[00:19:24] fucking
[00:19:25] Barnes fishburn the other one. I don't know I was high as fuck when I saw it, but it was pretty good the one yeah
[00:19:31] Yeah, yeah, I like I saw it in Greece. It's about like there's multiple
[00:19:35] Universes the movie opens with like police walking past the video
[00:19:39] President George Bush talking and then when they do the scene again in a slightly different universe. It's our gore
[00:19:46] And the movie came out in like 1999
[00:19:49] thousand blow my mind. Yeah
[00:19:52] Excuse me. Do you think you could write a cooler scene than that? No go right now. I said it blew my mom
[00:19:58] Who's cool? No say something cool now about karate it has to be a karate movie and come up with a whole premise of the movie now
[00:20:05] That's true a cool karate movie
[00:20:07] Okay, so there's like times up
[00:20:10] There's a Jewish guy on a podcast. He's taken he's had enough you find the sense
[00:20:15] The sense a molessa the sense a molessa, but he also teaches him how to fight good and he comes in yes Daniel son
[00:20:23] I
[00:20:25] Lick the back
[00:20:31] This is a move
[00:20:34] Karate and his share
[00:20:39] They have to go town to town because karate instructors keep molesting and molesting Ralph Machia well, I guess that is a cool movie
[00:20:47] Ralph Machia was molestible because he looked like a baby
[00:20:50] But he was a grown-ass man. He also had kind of a girly
[00:20:53] He was like 30 years old during the very karate kid very feminine. No, I think he's like 14. Oh
[00:20:59] But he is he is very feminine. Yeah, he's a trap. He is a trap. He's yeah
[00:21:04] There's some titties on Ralph. He's a trend. He's a transcutie trap
[00:21:08] Well, he does look like the bitch from mom just one of the guys that movie was a formative pair of titties
[00:21:14] We talked about fuck the cat in fact you've you've copied no, I did not copy that. I did not copy the guys
[00:21:20] He's copied it's a movie about a girl that's letting be no cross dresses and at the very end of the movement when they all find out
[00:21:27] It's a chick. She oh, yeah, they see her jumbo yum yums and I'm just gonna go ahead and put one of the guys tits into Google
[00:21:33] Yeah, it's a it's a good we've done this on the show. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I remember this damn. She's got big
[00:21:39] Yeah, she's got they're perf dude. Oh, yeah, holy shit
[00:21:43] Yeah, they're what's her name her name's Ralph Machus Ralph miser
[00:21:47] Honestly Ralph Machio is cuter in the face than yep, they click on it X videos, but she has bigger titties
[00:21:56] I want to see them move real fast, so oh
[00:22:00] Yeah, that's pretty good stuff. Yeah, there's a flop
[00:22:04] But yeah, Ralph Machio's got a cuter face
[00:22:07] Well, that guy's got a large peen look at the imprint
[00:22:11] Inside of her body
[00:22:15] That is a very funny picture
[00:22:17] Anyway, did you guys get that chain text that Corona chain text?
[00:22:22] We click on the link and it's a large black eyes. Yeah
[00:22:27] Yeah, that was a good one going around and then I got a second chain tank text and you know
[00:22:32] I'll call him out by name. It was from an Italian friend of the show who said Adam
[00:22:37] I just got this text message and I just wanted to share with you that and this is what it says
[00:22:43] It says my my my sister's cousin Scott mother works for the city and the entire phone either spectra
[00:22:52] What the fuck is that I search for just one of the guys tits also
[00:22:58] Filipino man with big ass tits big nipples on big
[00:23:02] Exits it's very funny anyway, so and then the whole city shutting down on Saturday morning
[00:23:09] All the bridges will be closed there will be no gas available, so please fill up your
[00:23:15] And then I that's so funny that you're making fun of your friend for looking out for you
[00:23:19] And then I said who did you receive this text from and then he told me the name of a female comedian
[00:23:24] I said Mike there's no was it there's no way this is possibly both spelled the name
[00:23:30] No, this people know how to spell
[00:23:34] So it's the same thing and so I was like Mike there's no way that's real why would she know?
[00:23:40] Because her sister's friends godmother
[00:23:43] What I don't know could be real honestly when I heard god mother. I was like this isn't
[00:23:50] Yeah, this is some stupid walk what if they what is a damn Kate Beckinsale defense? Oh, sorry
[00:23:57] I thought it said Kate Beckinsale defends Harvey Weinstein after backlash
[00:24:05] That would be an awesome move, but it's Kate Beckinsale defense her Harvey Weinstein story after backlash
[00:24:11] But it's so funny to refer to a 23-year sentence is backlash
[00:24:16] Little backlash
[00:24:18] Yeah, I'm just dealing with some lash having a little a light amount of lash
[00:24:22] Are they gonna put him in like a white collar jail or she gonna have to oh he went straight to the hospital?
[00:24:27] Oh, yeah, they were they took him straight from Rikers at Bellevue. My man's gonna uncle junior it
[00:24:36] Goddamn yeah
[00:24:38] Think anyone will rape Harvey Weinstein no way dude. He's too cool
[00:24:44] He's just gonna go down on it. Don't think yeah, that'll be in Israel in two weeks
[00:24:48] Yeah
[00:24:50] Really he's gonna quote unquote kill himself in yeah, just hanging out playing dominoes with Jeffrey Epstein
[00:24:56] Yeah, no, they're gonna be real. They're gonna be playing. What's it? What's it called paddle board?
[00:25:01] What's this what's the game? No the game on the beach with like the two bats like the two paddles that are wood
[00:25:09] Yeah, what's the problem? I think it's paddle board. Yeah
[00:25:11] paddle ball paddle ball paddle board is an Adam paddle ball paddle board is something that you
[00:25:18] Tattle and a paddle as a cat is about a Harry Potter world where the sport was taddling
[00:25:26] Magical world where he's he was and Harry was the best tattler in school
[00:25:32] Taddling
[00:25:34] Damn I'm sleepy. Yeah, dude. I'm out sleepy. I had a big-ass meal. Yeah. Yeah, I had some Greek food for lunch
[00:25:43] Oh greasy
[00:25:45] Easy I told you there's a second location now the green point. Yeah green point
[00:25:49] It was cool because we just like parked in the middle of an intersection and then went in for 20 minutes
[00:25:54] And I didn't get a ticket no tick dude
[00:25:56] I I was I was parking so illegally for months and I just hit it like a two-week bad street
[00:26:02] Go to South Philly no the parking situation there is oh, yeah, it's hilarious
[00:26:07] It's hilarious. It's just the you park on the curtain sidewalk in the middle of the street
[00:26:12] Yeah, and then yeah, or the side wall over the sidewalk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I actually I have been there
[00:26:19] Oh, yeah, you get to fishtown to go to go eat some pussy
[00:26:24] Is that South? I don't know. I think it's maybe central
[00:26:27] But ever east everyone there was parking on the on the sidewalks. I remember yeah fillings lawless dude
[00:26:35] Yeah, it's a fun city. I wish I'd spent more time there
[00:26:38] I used to work the club pretty often
[00:26:39] But then I would just hang out and get drunk either at the club or within two blocks right right yeah
[00:26:45] I never worked there
[00:26:47] Helium no great club. Yeah, I want to I worked at the helium at Portland. It was really fucking good
[00:26:52] Yeah, that one's good too. I've never been to the other one was above
[00:26:55] Buffalo and I wish you
[00:26:57] Yeah, I used to love that was like the highlight
[00:26:59] They said booked me like twice a year. Yeah, and that was great. I used to love that
[00:27:02] Those are my favorite my favorite place to do comedy. That's where the like guy got mad at you
[00:27:07] I mean, there's a lot of places where you guys got mad
[00:27:10] When you were doing your gun joke
[00:27:12] Were you there? No, but you've told me the story. Oh, yeah, there was not trying to put myself in the story
[00:27:18] There was one timer they had to like drag somebody out because I said the Constitution was fake. Oh
[00:27:25] Fuck it dare you it was during the Obama years. I love guys like that guys like that didn't have like an outlet
[00:27:31] You know, right right so they had to go getting mad at a comedy show. Yeah. Yeah, I
[00:27:37] Remember that joke is very funny. And now that guy is on a pretty nice win streak. Oh that guy's life is great
[00:27:42] That guy is just smiling if he's going to a club. He's watching like a Chinese woman be like white men dot
[00:27:49] What fuck you white man? He's just laughing
[00:28:00] God damn dude
[00:28:02] What do you think are what do you think are fucking?
[00:28:06] Quarantine situations gonna look like this is gonna be a new chapter for the show
[00:28:10] I feel like you guys ready to just think I'm gonna get into gaming and doing animals again. I think
[00:28:17] Well, I got a
[00:28:19] Suck what kind of gaming are you getting into you want to play smash brothers? You want to like yeah
[00:28:23] You want to just us though because I'm bad at it. I don't want to yeah
[00:28:26] I'm pretty bad too and people asked me to play
[00:28:28] I literally played it for maybe three hours when I came yeah, I'm gonna get back into the fucking switch
[00:28:34] I switch is great. I put Luigi's Mansion was great the couple of days. I played it before I gave up on it
[00:28:40] What's animal crossing that's for girls? I
[00:28:44] Thought it's for baby. It's literally only for girls. There's no way
[00:28:49] There's no way you can get into it as a guy so get into it and then tell girls
[00:28:54] Get pussy off and you won't get pussy off and dressed as a woman with a bow tie just lie then you I say I'm a girl
[00:29:02] And then I'm like why don't you come over is it open world and then that's me
[00:29:07] You play like as a squirrel that has to like set appointments with the doctor
[00:29:12] Oh, it's just the Sims, but you're an animal. It's the Sims, but you're like a fucking yeah
[00:29:16] You live in like a coconut and that's pretty cool. You get breast cancer. You get breast cancer
[00:29:21] Really? It's the movie terms of endearment
[00:29:27] Can you get breast implants
[00:29:29] Can you be a dog with fucking big ass titties a friend of mine is getting a breast reduction and no
[00:29:35] Repeatedly said there like I will lock should we get a gun? Maybe should get a gun
[00:29:41] Yeah, we should become like tears that those tits fat. We should become like tears that bomb like abortion clique
[00:29:47] Yeah, I'm like bitch your brain's yeah, they're hurt once I blow it out of your skull
[00:29:53] Just murdering doctors that you
[00:29:56] Rest rest reductions. Yeah, we should be those guys, man. Dude. I'm a fucking I'm a Christian fundamentalist protesting outside of
[00:30:05] Clinics white flag with a cross with a pair of tits
[00:30:09] Beautiful circular tits
[00:30:11] Just perfect fear
[00:30:13] 14 words we must defend and unite a future for big-ass to protect huge cans and hooters I
[00:30:26] Could get into that I can do that kind of domestic terrorism like 2d stylized as a swastika
[00:30:33] I don't know how it would work. Yeah, you figure it out in your head. Yeah, I mean, I think we could just get it into the titties part
[00:30:39] Mmm the iron cross with titties. Yeah, isn't that across it as like a circle? No, no, it's like it's like the independent truck
[00:30:48] Why how about this two Celtic crosses?
[00:30:51] But the circles are big titties two nipples up top mmm coexist
[00:30:57] But they're all tits
[00:30:59] Coexist, but it's all different breast sizes. They're all big but just different shifts
[00:31:10] Yeah
[00:31:12] You know, so I'm glad of the but in a little titty is not listen if you have little titties god bless you
[00:31:18] Yeah, but if you have big ones just consider just consider killing yourself
[00:31:21] Instead no, I don't yeah. Oh instead of getting a reduction. Yeah. Yeah, just consider seriously think about it. Just think about it
[00:31:30] Yeah
[00:31:34] She's like I'm thinking about getting my pressure do something like is there any way you get your brain or face removed?
[00:31:40] Can I just see okay, we just have your head cut off. Why don't you get your titties completely cut off?
[00:31:45] Why do you and give them to somebody else right?
[00:31:48] Yeah, it's like locks for love or in Indian child. Yeah, it's a starving Indian child
[00:31:54] Yeah, or okay, you know what you can have a breast reduction but
[00:31:58] Give some of that titty meat to somebody to have yeah
[00:32:00] The woman that has breast cancer the old psa is for like the christian life network or whatever was with that bearded guy
[00:32:06] That would walk around like a junkyard and Somalia. Oh, yeah
[00:32:10] Hi, I'm Bob dingus for whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah
[00:32:13] And then it just like the little kid wearing rags
[00:32:15] Right, he reaches into a pile of trash and pulls a baby out and he's like this is uh ab bestita
[00:32:22] Yeah, you know for a cup of coffee a day. You can give her a big old pair big fat pair. Yeah, nice fat rack
[00:32:31] Um, yeah, those were so funny because I remember watching those as a kid and I'm like, what the fuck country is it?
[00:32:37] Yeah, I mean, how is it possibly that bad that there's just garbage every I remember being like damn
[00:32:42] Well, fucking somebody gives them some fucking some coffee dude. I missed the point completely
[00:32:49] Yeah, they're like you get a coffee you get a picture of the kid
[00:32:51] I remember thinking that would just make me feel bad. Mm-hmm. You know like if I even had you know, yeah, I'm not drinking coffee
[00:32:59] I don't know how much coffee costs. Yeah, that's true. I didn't know how much coffee costs
[00:33:04] Do you think when how someone has a breast reduction god gets to suck on the titties in heaven?
[00:33:09] Yeah, well they bury the titties according to jewish custom. Do you think in heaven?
[00:33:16] They does titties just appear and you get to titty fuck them if you're dead
[00:33:21] Do you think what do you mean? Oh, there's just uh, you know every time a res
[00:33:28] Yeah, yeah as like a ghost yes or like whatever
[00:33:31] And then when you get back when you die you join your titties in heaven
[00:33:35] And you have perfect big tits and there's no back pain. I've often thought that about my foreskin
[00:33:42] Will you rejoin in heaven? Well, there's no jewish heaven is there?
[00:33:45] Yes, there is. I thought
[00:33:47] Is there of course the bosom of Abraham?
[00:33:51] Yeah, we're you know, we're just yeah, we chill with Moses and
[00:33:55] My foreskin's waiting for me there. He's got a little bindle. Why did uh, why do they say you have to cut your cock off
[00:34:02] in jewishism
[00:34:04] Uh, what's the thinking behind that? I don't know some sort of just sacrifice
[00:34:09] I don't know, but I do think they bury the foreskins
[00:34:13] The baby's foreskins. That's awesome
[00:34:14] I'd like to think that my foreskins just been traveling around the earth trying to find me
[00:34:20] You know going up to different men and saying like are you my going to different men? Are you my penis?
[00:34:25] No, no, not into the asses and the
[00:34:27] Have I been here going over the helmet? There's the rest of me been here
[00:34:31] I got a call one day on the phone. How about instead of five ish? There's four fish or is friend four fish, but it's f o r e
[00:34:38] Vish f o r e yep four fish. Yeah, and it's a four skin
[00:34:44] Like a Barney sized four skin that teaches kids about choppas
[00:34:50] I just think it's fucked up to cut a man's part of a man's penis off. That's all
[00:34:54] I mean, I'm not sure my dick has I feel like my shit's loosening up a little bit. It keeps getting falling
[00:35:00] Congratulations, you ever put like a bottle cap in there
[00:35:04] Uh not a bottle cap, but I have put some things in there bottle cap my health
[00:35:09] It's too rich too fucking you gotta get gauges, dude. I know I know we talked about this plenty
[00:35:14] It's the ridges of the bottle cap that I'm worried about maybe hurt not this kind of bottle cap like a fucking Pepsi
[00:35:20] Yeah, Pepsi was exactly what
[00:35:26] Yeah, that might not be bad. Yeah
[00:35:28] Maybe like a Gatorade cap
[00:35:32] Whoa that we're getting that we're getting nice. Why don't you put it like a hard boiled egg in there
[00:35:36] That would be good a quail egg a smaller one. Yeah, smaller one. That's not bad a hard book
[00:35:40] I could be like that fucking bitch from morio too
[00:35:43] The pink bitch the fuck is your name pink bitch?
[00:35:47] Quad or whatever pink ass
[00:35:49] B. Och
[00:35:49] What the fuck you think got the little bow and they'd be shot at doe be chotted the job though
[00:35:54] Do pink you know who the fuck I'm talking about. I don't remember. We've talked about whether they have a pussy or not before
[00:35:59] Yes, they posted the fuck old cuck up people
[00:36:02] Niggas doing now going to be translating the show in spanish. That's way being that simple. What the fuck birdo?
[00:36:08] I don't remember
[00:36:09] And blur you guys don't remember birdo. I do remember birdo. Yeah, that's what my dick would be like
[00:36:14] Girl Yoshi, but with a pussy the pussy dick on her nose. Yeah, and you could maybe you could fuck it
[00:36:19] Yeah
[00:36:20] Anyway, if I put a quail egg in my foreskin, I would look like but my dick would be like birdo. Yeah, that would be cool
[00:36:26] Let me see what i'm gonna look up you trying to suck a quail egg out my fucking dick bitch
[00:36:32] Yeah, we were talking about capping off the end of your penis so that you can control the ejaculation to shit and birdos
[00:36:39] fucking nose face
[00:36:41] Or nose hole and we look up birdo pussy real quick. Let's see what we got to get into uh
[00:36:46] Damn this thing is just built for sucking cock. Yeah
[00:36:51] Birdo would be nice to fuck
[00:36:53] Mm-hmm. Oh my god. We got some cool
[00:36:57] So people have thought about this quite a bit. Let me tell you something. Yeah on the internet
[00:37:03] This is the deviant art community is ready for this question
[00:37:06] I love that if you just search for just the name
[00:37:08] Yeah, you only have to scroll down half a page for somebody before somebody's fucking it or doing something
[00:37:12] Wait a second. There's something called birdo the throb slut one porn hub
[00:37:17] And there's no i'm just on google images, but you search it and yeah here she is pregnant
[00:37:23] Dude, there's some jacked Yoshi's with their cocks all over birdo right here. Yeah, check this out
[00:37:30] Uh-oh, are they gonna put the dick in her in the nose? Yeah. Oh, yeah, come on dick in the nose. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh shit
[00:37:38] One of them is fucking pushing birdos head
[00:37:40] Oh
[00:37:43] Tame
[00:37:45] Nipples dude. Yeah, bird has got nice fat nips in this one. That's cool the nintendo would do that
[00:37:51] Yeah, this is an official nintendo launch. Yeah, I can't see that
[00:37:54] Hold on well, is that red Yoshi sucking his own
[00:38:14] Red Yoshi's like he's don't think while blue Yoshi pushes birdos head on the green Yoshi's cock
[00:38:19] I
[00:38:23] Catch that I didn't see that
[00:38:25] It's so funny. I like playing as people that make that shit do it because they're horny for it
[00:38:29] They don't understand how funny it's the funniest thing in the world dude
[00:38:33] That you would jack off to that so how would they feel if they knew that people were laughing at it?
[00:38:38] I feel like it's very serious. They probably don't understand laughter. Yeah, you're probably deeply autistic. Absolutely
[00:38:44] Absolutely imagine being like that kind of autistic where you're like, well, it's time to draw Donald duck's girlfriend
[00:38:51] Getting fucked in the ass by a car daisy. Yeah
[00:38:55] Daisy was a slut for sure. Yeah, dude. Yeah
[00:38:59] None of these are no one is making fun of them in the comments
[00:39:02] Surrounded by huge throbbing Yoshi cocks with cum inflation
[00:39:07] Hell, yes
[00:39:09] Hell, yeah, bro. I hope we get to see more birdo growth and conflation
[00:39:13] Yeah, naughty Yoshi's looking what look what you made birdo do
[00:39:19] Respect
[00:39:21] Give them a little shout out a fire on on pornhub
[00:39:25] Respect to you and your awesome work. Oh, they got a patreon. Yeah
[00:39:31] Plug it plug it. Yeah, that should be like one of our
[00:39:35] One of our sister patreon absolutely
[00:39:37] He's a radio she's self-suck the radio she's self-suck was the fucking best I always go for black Yoshi, you know, I'm saying
[00:39:47] I don't because I'm intersectional. I'm intersectional with my video game choices
[00:39:53] He's a dinosaur. He's a what?
[00:39:56] Dinosaur. Whoa, Adam. Jesus Christ. I'm sorry
[00:40:00] It's just the South Carolina primary has really changed a lot for me
[00:40:06] No, because of why in the world would they support Joe, but no, I'm just gonna do that. I'm just kidding
[00:40:13] I'm not gonna go off. But you know those guys are out there
[00:40:16] What oh, yeah, oh 100 for sure for sure. I know we're supposed to pretend like they don't exist. Yeah, they definitely do they definitely exist
[00:40:25] Yeah, I wonder oh shit. There's about to be a debate that today Sunday who gives a shit
[00:40:30] I feel like you know what it's not who gives elections off
[00:40:33] It the trumps gonna be president forever. I run a virus things. I
[00:40:37] Elections martial law. There's good. No elections, which honestly dudes rock
[00:40:45] Dude martial law he puts what's his name? Samo hung in control of the coronavirus response
[00:40:52] Who's not a mohang? He was on the show martial law. Oh, yeah, nice
[00:40:56] um
[00:40:57] Is he hung?
[00:40:59] No, he's
[00:41:01] Adam you're being pretty racist actually that's not true. I was in uh
[00:41:06] I was in korea town
[00:41:08] At the shivts and I was actually play you know not as bad as they say you looked at the Korean man
[00:41:14] I did look at Korean men's penises and I was like all right, you know
[00:41:18] They get a bad rap. Wow, dude. They do why not in the shivts looking at car
[00:41:24] They because it's all nude and it's bro. I know but you don't look at a man's penis
[00:41:29] Listen, they're fucking there dude. I'm not staring at the penises sounds like you were bro
[00:41:34] You know what and I did actually feel very comfortable in my body at that moment
[00:41:38] Hold on. Let me look at the reviews for this place
[00:41:41] It was that it was that we spa in los angeles the switch is nice
[00:41:45] But there was a man looking at everybody's penis and licking his lips a jewish man. He was licking his own nipple
[00:41:52] He was somehow able to reach his tongue to his own
[00:41:56] Bad drawings are almost the funny. Yeah
[00:41:58] Yeah, the ones who are they're just really trying you know
[00:42:02] Maybe 10 years they'll be able to draw the shit that they can beat off to
[00:42:08] Damn I wish I could draw
[00:42:11] Corona corona corona
[00:42:14] Um guys you think this year really started because of bats
[00:42:19] A bat shooting on an armadillo at a wet market
[00:42:22] Anyway, I've been trying as hard as I can to pick my nose
[00:42:26] And I I did not realize
[00:42:29] How much I actually fucking pick my nose. I think I might pick my nose three times a minute
[00:42:35] Is it bad? Yeah, you're not allowed to touch your face dude silence. All right
[00:42:42] I don't give a fuck. We probably all have it. Don't shoot me. It doesn't take like fucking 10 days
[00:42:48] Everyone's gonna get it. Everyone's gonna get it. This way you gotta quarantine yourself. Yeah, everybody should quarantine
[00:42:54] Okay, it's gonna be fucked up when I mean because it's gonna kill all the homeless people here homeless people in the elderly
[00:43:01] Yeah, it's gonna be fucking tragic because there's nothing you can do about it
[00:43:04] I mean they have no place to go if they go somewhere it'll just fucking break out
[00:43:07] Did you hear about the New York City public schools?
[00:43:09] How they like can't shut down because like 114,000 kids are homeless
[00:43:14] In the public schools
[00:43:16] And then they rely for their for their only meal of the day
[00:43:20] Or like free school ledges. It's so fucking sad
[00:43:23] There's gotta be a new parent's food
[00:43:25] Yeah, and then a lot of people you know like poor kids parents like have to go to work
[00:43:30] You know, they're gonna have like no like yeah waiters and share in second grade, you know
[00:43:34] We're gonna finish me in general if you're like a smash little as kid and you like have no one to look after you
[00:43:39] It's fucking terrifying. Yeah
[00:43:42] Luckily doesn't in fact children
[00:43:44] It doesn't well kids don't really die from it. Yeah, what about babies do?
[00:43:49] No, no, it's not elderly not a single fucking case of like somebody under the age of like 12
[00:43:55] Really people aren't being like hospitalized for it. I think you gotta have fat nuts people
[00:43:59] That I have to draw. I mean it really you know, I know it's easy to get into the territory of like
[00:44:04] This is just superstition or whatever and being crazy, but
[00:44:08] You know, I mean think about it. It's like it's only killing the older guilt here generation sure
[00:44:14] You know, it's uh it also
[00:44:16] There's a toilet paper panic now and think about the one religion that wipes her ass with her hand the most lummox
[00:44:23] the the
[00:44:25] Muslim
[00:44:27] People love wiping just scooping shit out. It's their favorite thing to be that true. Yes. It's in the corones
[00:44:34] It's it's yeah, what about guys with the days. It's part of the charia. Yeah, it's charia law starring sammo
[00:44:51] Okay. Oh that guy. Yeah, he was a fat marshal. I remember him. I remember him. I remember we had this
[00:44:56] We had yeah, we've talked about Samba. We've talked about samba before but you know, I gotta piss so bad
[00:45:02] Go for it. Adam style
[00:45:06] Style pissing out of your ass. So stop. What are we gonna do in quarantine with no fucking NBA basketball hoops?
[00:45:12] I'm pissed dude. No league really no bears bitch ass had to get fucking that french piece of shit
[00:45:18] Crying because he didn't make the fucking all-star team your piece of shit. Baby. Wash your hands. You
[00:45:23] took away what we loved
[00:45:26] Honestly, I'll probably watch old games on youtube. I think so too. If you can get them still maybe we're only as p and classic
[00:45:32] Maybe we wash them together start them at the same time, you know from our respective homes
[00:45:36] I like that text each other. I'm trying to get a little quarantine girlfriend. Dude. Just
[00:45:41] Living my home for a week. Yeah, I think that's the move get top
[00:45:45] That's the move all the all the quarantine babies. We're the quarantine nine months from now
[00:45:52] We'll call who's trying to get quarantined in a story of new york holler at me, dude
[00:45:56] Yeah
[00:45:57] I'm trying to get my little nuts sucked as we mentioned earlier in the
[00:46:00] Show I have I am very good at getting my nuts
[00:46:05] So I just wanted to throw that out there. I'm liking the tuck Nick
[00:46:10] The french tuck the the french tuck
[00:46:13] You're tucked in in the front of your shirt. Oh, that just happened by accident
[00:46:17] I know because you just went to pee and then you pulled your pants back on
[00:46:19] Um, oh my god my dick is small
[00:46:39] Damn, I really don't know what to do on this quarantine
[00:46:42] I mean, it's crazy all these fucking shows got canceled and it's like
[00:46:45] I have that's it. That's that's 2020. That's the only thing I had planned
[00:46:49] Just go back to dude's rockin. That's what dude. Guess what like
[00:46:54] By the way girls you're listening
[00:46:57] You're fucking sucked. Yeah, fuck you. Fuck you y'all suck dude. That's one thing that
[00:47:02] That's one gift. That's one gift. I think Elizabeth Warren has given us. It's just
[00:47:08] She's made me feel a lot more comfortable to be a lot more open about my misogyny
[00:47:12] Now I can just go back into the tp and fuck my dog bailing
[00:47:16] It
[00:47:18] It's really straddly the thing is she doesn't know anyone anything
[00:47:22] This person trying to be president of the united states. You're not the boss of her
[00:47:27] You're not her boss
[00:47:28] She don't boss her around she does what she wants
[00:47:32] girl style
[00:47:34] I think the thing is
[00:47:36] Some dude can you imagine like being in a relationship with woman?
[00:47:39] That's like hysterical and crying about Elizabeth Warren
[00:47:42] I mean no
[00:47:43] And you have to fucking kill me and you have to just be like baby. It's okay
[00:47:47] Yeah
[00:47:49] Damn, I would love to cheat
[00:48:00] She had to take super pack money
[00:48:03] My friend she said she just cheating on her with another guy
[00:48:06] Yeah, just take that bitch. Yeah, take that. I'm having gay sex and allure
[00:48:13] Some guy met on playstation
[00:48:20] Bitch shut up shut up
[00:48:24] For burning for fucking home. I'm having gay sex with my bernie bro in the fucking living room bitch
[00:48:29] So gay guys like I don't really care. I don't care
[00:48:37] That guy's just cashing in on some cock on the side right respect to him. Mm-hmm, but then he also calls her a bitch
[00:48:46] Yeah
[00:48:47] Those fucking teal teal profile pick motherfuckers
[00:48:51] They are the biggest fucking losers that is I've been off
[00:48:54] I've been off. I don't know. That's Elizabeth Warren bro. I saw a picture of your shit the teal
[00:49:00] Yeah, it's a Liberty green shut up bitch. Oh like the statue. Yeah
[00:49:05] Damn
[00:49:06] Which it was a gift from the Italians by the way the French the French shut up both of you
[00:49:11] How did you not know that that's a pretty everyone knows that everyone sure was the Italians. It was the Italians
[00:49:19] Um, are you sure I just went there?
[00:49:21] Or did you know I swear no it was the French. Yeah, isn't isn't the inscription in Italian or something latin?
[00:49:28] It's in latin. Yeah, which I guess is like the basis for French and Italian Italian much more so than
[00:49:34] They give us give us your sick your poor you're mentally retarded. You're gay. You're hung your BBW
[00:49:41] The fastest bitches and your doms your subs your pay pig your fuck pigs your gossip
[00:49:48] Oh, yeah, just tote your twink toad with a water
[00:49:54] Tube injecting water into people love inflation shit
[00:49:58] And he's saying Mario Luigi help
[00:50:02] Stop you ever fucked a feeder
[00:50:05] Uh, no, but I fucked like two girls that were into fat men. That felt awesome. I felt hot
[00:50:10] I remember I felt like john. I remember one of those times and that was pretty epic. I was very happy for you
[00:50:15] Yeah, dude. We got in a fight right before it happened then afterwards you told me about it and I was like, you know what my boy
[00:50:21] I'm so proud of you. Thank you
[00:50:23] Yeah, dude. It's just it yeah a bit just eyeing me up like
[00:50:27] Like this is the body. She wants to get feeling
[00:50:31] Defied. I want it. Yeah. I love getting objective. I just feeling like a woman
[00:50:34] Yeah, I want to feel like a woman
[00:50:36] And a lot of gay men do that, but it's not the same. Yeah, I'm trying to feel like an animal
[00:50:41] Okay, like I live outside in the woods. Uh, you know, I can see that when I could disappear
[00:50:47] Yeah, spirit guide. Of course. That's what I want
[00:50:51] Where would you live?
[00:50:53] In the woods. Yeah
[00:50:55] Like at night, where would you sleep? I wouldn't sleep. He would be always conscious disappear
[00:51:01] Into the ether and rest in the nether realm
[00:51:05] Beautiful. Yeah, let's go and walk about this movie. I want to feel that's awesome
[00:51:10] I watched a movie where everybody had cool fucking nicknames like the golden the white dragon and the golden fucking leper
[00:51:17] In the red then that sounds like a really cool movie. It was cool, dude
[00:51:21] Well, anyway, the white dragon was hanging out on the premise of the movies everyone has cool
[00:51:25] Honestly pretty much imagine a world where everyone has what movie it's called blood of the dragon
[00:51:31] Okay, it's pretty tight and the white dragon was Caucasian white dragon was a chinese
[00:51:36] And they're twins. They're fighting the mongols
[00:51:39] Okay
[00:51:40] So they're fighting the retons. Yeah, and the white dragon the reason I brought up was because he was chilling on the top of a branch
[00:51:47] It was pretty cool. There's like early they had they did a little wire stuff kind of crunch of tiger type shit
[00:51:55] You know I'm saying yeah
[00:51:57] by pow shoe cow
[00:51:59] It had a really good soundtrack also
[00:52:02] White dragon must get a list with the names of rebel supporters to prince ma tongue
[00:52:06] The leader of the rebellion trying to stop him in his mission the evil prime minister
[00:52:11] Fuck that prime minister
[00:52:14] Yeah, them talking about prime ministers was kind of weird
[00:52:19] But whatever yeah
[00:52:22] Oh my dick
[00:52:26] It's more damn this pre recording should it's tough. No, dude
[00:52:31] It's like how many my times you can talk about the coronavirus
[00:52:34] Well, I think we're at a different stage of the coronavirus
[00:52:38] It felt like a lot changed from Tuesday to Wednesday this week and now this episode is coming
[00:52:43] Yeah, it was in seven weeks. Oh, yeah, the episodes come out like a week and a half
[00:52:47] But it was a crazy fucking week. Yeah, when they canceled the NBA
[00:52:52] Or I guess suspended my word
[00:52:55] That's when I was like fuck this dude old people dying. That's one thing
[00:52:58] But what the fuck am I gonna watch old people?
[00:53:00] I get high as fuck at night and sleep. What am I gonna do for that bitch?
[00:53:06] It would be funny if like, you know, the coronavirus killed your grandparents and you were like, oh damn
[00:53:10] I forgot to do care. Yeah, actually I was thinking about my grandma
[00:53:13] I'm kind of scared for her. Yeah, that's like because a lot of people are like old people who cares and then you think like oh, I know
[00:53:20] I love a couple. No, I know a couple of them
[00:53:23] Because but like conceptually as a concept being old as shit and it's like pal maybe you're better off. Yeah
[00:53:29] I'm gonna go old yellow my grandma just in case well I saw that they're actually probably yeah
[00:53:34] I'm gonna fuck my grandma to death
[00:53:37] Just to savor the indignity of dying of coronavirus give her one less bust just really just rail that shit out
[00:53:44] Dude, I mean I'll be disgusted to do it. Yeah, but that's you'll be doing it for your family in Japan
[00:53:49] They carry the elderly to the top of a mountain. Let them die up there. It's that's kind of the same thing
[00:53:55] Yeah, it's fucking your grandma to death
[00:53:57] I
[00:53:58] Saw that just going in raw. No, it's not even spitting on it. Just no tearing tearing it up. Yeah, it hasn't been wet ripping all
[00:54:07] Truman was in office. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, just bleeding out
[00:54:13] Yeah, through bad vaginal tears. Oh, yeah, just tear it just destroy it
[00:54:17] Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? And you're saying I love your grandma. Yeah, I love you you're kissing her earlier. No, yeah, you're singing
[00:54:23] Um, whisper. We'll go on
[00:54:32] You're playing it
[00:54:47] We fucked in the car in the storage area
[00:54:50] Wow keep going
[00:54:53] My either we'd said that on the show before somebody does that is a bit. It feels like an obvious premise is small about what jaguar
[00:55:00] is fucking the car well
[00:55:03] I feel like it was something
[00:55:05] Either is either a joke. I pitched to somebody once and they were like somebody already does that but like the whole idea is the joke
[00:55:10] Well, the movie Titanic is being told by a an old bitch old bitch
[00:55:15] It's the whole premise of the movies are sitting around listening to her tell that story which includes sex scenes
[00:55:20] So they're just sitting there with some old bitches like and then he and then he he fucks
[00:55:25] Old tea and we fucked so much that there was steam on the windows. Yeah
[00:55:31] He came inside of me. Yeah, and then I took my shirt off
[00:55:34] What do they do with the phone my breasts and he painted do you think do you think you
[00:55:39] What do you think they did with it? You think she sucked him off to completion?
[00:55:42] You think he busted inside. I don't know they should have gone into that. It would have been a better movie the directors cut
[00:55:50] Were people were bitches swallowing come back then
[00:55:53] Yeah, all this shit. Nothing's new. No, I don't think that's true. No, I know I'm familiar with your joke about how you think older generations weren't doing it
[00:56:00] No, I'm not first of all don't bring my joke. It's a good joke. I've seen you do it
[00:56:04] But I just agree with the point
[00:56:06] My that first of all, I think you're wrong in that things are cyclical. I'm not bringing your act into this to some things are sacred
[00:56:13] But I know my dad tells me a story about when his grandmother was dying and she had dementia
[00:56:19] And he went to the hospital to visit her
[00:56:21] And she like had like returned to like some sort of adolescent state where she just started telling him about going into the forest
[00:56:29] With the rest of the boys from the village to pull her skirt up and show them her post
[00:56:33] Hell yeah, nice. Your grandma was a fucking slut. Yeah. Yeah, I think that uh, yeah
[00:56:39] She got fucking gangbanged in a forest. That's awesome by other boys from the village
[00:56:44] That's pretty tight. My point is I think some things are cyclical. I think sometimes people were freaks suck their cool suck
[00:56:51] But I don't think people were swallowing come
[00:56:53] As certain points in history. That's all I'm saying
[00:56:56] They were probably a lot of them were getting cream pie not in the the forties and fifties. No, you're right. Thank you
[00:57:04] Mmm. They were busting somewhere else. I'm saying did Rose was Rose a dirty bitch that loved calm
[00:57:09] That's all I want to know
[00:57:11] Dude, she was did she cheat on Billy's name. He was a good beat. You know Billy's name was not
[00:57:16] Getting his dick sucked to completion. Did they imply that he had ED or something? That mean maybe they didn't
[00:57:23] I don't know dude
[00:57:25] Um
[00:57:28] So what else guys? I don't know man. I don't fucking know what kind of meals can we make in quarantine?
[00:57:33] No, I'm in with cream cheese
[00:57:36] What you've done that? You're pretty good
[00:57:38] Is it good? Actually, I have done like a packet ramen
[00:57:42] And you put in a put an american cheese and scallions
[00:57:45] So somebody hit me with a what when you've done something justice gross
[00:57:50] It's it's it's pretty gross. Pretty good sounds like something a hater would do the app
[00:57:55] Giggler you might say
[00:57:58] Giggling ass hater
[00:58:00] Take take take one to note notice. I say I giggle, but I'm not a hater. I giggle
[00:58:05] I'm far from a hater. I only giggle at the meek
[00:58:08] That's sure you do which is the worst type of gigler to be. Yep. You know how I am
[00:58:13] You can't giggle with the strong but at least I'm
[00:58:15] People are posting these pictures of stores that got nothing in them and I have not seen that once trader joes in downtown
[00:58:22] I've been to like three or four game stops and it's fucking
[00:58:25] Yeah, yeah, you're stopping up on provision. Well, I thought I would have to go in there and you know get moma funko pops
[00:58:31] Yeah, but now
[00:58:33] Because once once we're quarantined dude, what am I gonna do sit around and not look at that?
[00:58:38] Versions of Luke Skywalker and
[00:58:40] Rental toys, which I need I didn't exist until three years ago
[00:58:45] I found out about him on reddit and now I need all of them
[00:58:47] I and they have to be in the bar. I have to prove to the other guys who I work at penera bread with that I am an epic nerd
[00:59:02] I am what you call late epic. I am an epic fag
[00:59:05] I am late epic fag
[00:59:13] Goddamn those people are fucking gay
[00:59:18] They're the worst
[00:59:20] that guy
[00:59:22] Shout out to
[00:59:24] Shout out to what's his name Nick Nick
[00:59:26] Nick charelli did a video where he went to the funko pop store. Oh hell. He just posted it's very funny
[00:59:32] They got funny. So those guys the guy does videos with the other guys very funny to the tall guy. Yeah
[00:59:39] Tom Williams
[00:59:42] Pick a name Thomas William
[00:59:50] I'm getting Thomas Williamson vibe Thomas William some vibes maybe
[00:59:54] Mm-hmm. I'm thinking this though. I'm thinking this I guess there's no sports, right?
[01:00:02] There's no distractions. I'm gonna start watching movies Sunday night and obviously this is coming out after Sunday night
[01:00:07] So it's not gonna even be that good of a point. Yeah
[01:00:11] Everyone's gonna be watching that goddamn debate
[01:00:13] It is this is this is art. This is the shot for for for our king
[01:00:18] I think to take down that fucking retard Biden. It's Adams politics. Thank you
[01:00:24] They're gonna they're gonna inject him with whatever like a drug that keeps him like
[01:00:28] Coaching to for like an hour and then it like sucks his life. Yeah, they're gonna give him Adderall or something
[01:00:33] They have some kind of but him on Adderall rambling is gonna be amazing. Exactly. Yeah
[01:00:38] Yes, I could fly the plane and the damn plane something fucking
[01:00:42] The famous speech, of course, then self-unflight speech
[01:00:49] There's two kinds of planes in this world. There's a plane one and a second kind
[01:00:57] Bitch
[01:01:00] Where's that Latina to give me head from the beginning?
[01:01:03] There's a regular she has some nice titties that is a regular plane and a soul plane
[01:01:10] Mm-hmm. Somebody just say can I get an F in the chat? I just got fired from my job for accidentally sending a big day video to some co-workers
[01:01:19] God damn big Dave
[01:01:21] I mean, I guess I'll I guess I'll type F today hit hit him with an what is the what's the origin of F
[01:01:27] F is for respect. Yeah. Well, it's from a video game
[01:01:30] It's from like with the last I call a duty
[01:01:32] We're like one of your friends dies and you attend the military if you're enrolled and it says like on the PC
[01:01:37] It says press F to give respect. Yeah
[01:01:42] That's good. Yeah, damn nice. I'm like getting caught up with internet stuff
[01:01:47] Yeah, I I was not up on that and a lot of people were hitting me with F's in the comments and I thought that they were just calling me a fag
[01:01:54] Yeah, they were trying to get a fag a change started. Yeah, F a g. Oh
[01:01:59] G
[01:02:01] Yeah, that is nice. That happens
[01:02:03] And no one disrupts it. Well, they usually do it with another word
[01:02:09] That's true
[01:02:11] I'm not your one that I've never said I had something really naughty for you, dude
[01:02:17] It's my penis. So suck my penis
[01:02:20] Fuck dude. I literally the second shit got started
[01:02:23] The second shit got canceled. I was like time to have a relapse
[01:02:26] I've been just getting fucked up. Oh, it's bad as fuck again, dude
[01:02:30] And I'm already too fat to begin with so which we're in a danger zone right now
[01:02:34] And I have dick pills. So my dick works now. No matter what. That's the real bad
[01:02:38] It's a fucking that I'm gonna get a monster truck to beat the virus because if you stay they say anything under 15 feet is where the
[01:02:45] Virus lives. Oh the virus lives a low low low ground low atmosphere. Yeah, I'm getting monster truck
[01:02:51] You just imagine me ripping through Brooklyn
[01:02:53] In grave diggers driving over like a fucking drifting around corners just smashing a block
[01:03:00] A block of our cars
[01:03:03] Yeah, yeah, I'm like you can't stop me. I'm a socialist
[01:03:08] I'm a good guy because I do socialism. Yeah, this is the sss socialism. I'm one of the I wanted the podcast that ruined the burning campaign
[01:03:17] Yeah
[01:03:21] People are accusing us are they who's accusing us the new york fake news gray lady motherfucking times
[01:03:30] Gay lady the gay lady the gay lady. I will never listen to a fucking woman dude a gray woman
[01:03:37] Yeah, be in color if you want me to listen to you. Yeah, I only listen to mama. See those of color. That's right
[01:03:43] I
[01:03:45] Absolutely, papito. Yeah, I'm kind of um, I like to think if I like to say you know
[01:03:51] You say people of color women of color. I like to think of kings of leon in that same case
[01:04:01] So my fellow kings of leon
[01:04:04] Higher more kings of leon
[01:04:06] Why don't we have more kings of leon on tv
[01:04:15] When you suck in my penis
[01:04:17] You're making me gay
[01:04:20] And i'm getting my dicks on that's the best shreds video
[01:04:25] Is uh the kings of leon sashol fire shreds
[01:04:30] Your penis is in my
[01:04:32] Yes
[01:04:34] Bernie or bus
[01:04:36] Will never vote for bine. I will not vote for joebot. I won't do it. Yeah, probably
[01:04:42] I mean it's at least because we're in new york. We can't I was gonna vote for trump
[01:04:46] But now he's not funny anymore with the coronavirus so it would be funny if he dies from it though
[01:04:52] He probably
[01:04:54] That would be fun. He was kissing balsan arrow and fucking marlago balsan heiress bitch ass keeps getting sick
[01:04:59] My man is like almost dead constantly. He looks like evil mr. Bean. Yeah, he's doing he's making
[01:05:09] He's making his supporters do a funny noise
[01:05:15] You're not coming in on this
[01:05:17] We're enjoying it what you're saying you're doing you're doing the news and we're doing all right
[01:05:21] I'm gonna stop doing the news go back to the news. Oh, i'm not trying to dissuade you from trump kiss balsan arrow marlago
[01:05:28] He probably has it. That'll be awesome the manager of our arsenal football club has it who's that?
[01:05:34] Me can't anything happen to arsenal
[01:05:36] How about a team going up with that was there ever would observe or a sock we canceled they canceled the season
[01:05:42] So liver pool is not gonna get a chip
[01:05:45] They're like they've they've never won the primarily before they were like fucking killing it this year
[01:05:50] No, anything funny happened to arsenal in the witho they changed their name. Yeah, yeah, they lost to
[01:05:56] L'Hilipeagos in a fucking interesting in a fucking where
[01:06:01] In a really tragic manner. Yeah
[01:06:03] Yeah, I pwned to you bro. That was me pwning me. That was our two clubs
[01:06:09] And i'm the heavy underdog on that one, dude
[01:06:11] Yeah, I mean most the most of the fucking players on the greek team were just smoking stoves on the fucking pitch
[01:06:18] I loved it
[01:06:20] My dick
[01:06:22] Well, listen folks. You're listening to this you're deep in quarantine. We prerecorded this a week before so we don't maybe the world's completely fallen to shit
[01:06:30] Maybe the world's okay. Maybe there's flying cars. This is usually where we plug things, but it seems like everything's done
[01:06:36] There's no plug all the shit is can't cancel. Yano. Can't say
[01:06:41] Antonio cancel. Yano. I just uh, you know, I heard a couple of people saying maybe you use the M1
[01:06:46] You know somebody who would who do Tony simp an arrow?
[01:06:52] That's a great one. Yeah, yeah, hey queen
[01:06:56] Hey, michael caseliano
[01:06:59] Is michael kensenal cancel yano and tony simp an arrow
[01:07:04] No, i'm just saying i'm just saying i heard maybe 15 years ago you said something race
[01:07:09] You know, it would be a problem it would be a problem if you did that when you were if you use the M1 when you were 13
[01:07:18] Indestically, i'm saying maybe somebody could get you fired
[01:07:22] It's a pretty job you got there wouldn't want anything happening
[01:07:27] I just want to say that i have the receipts it'd be a real shame
[01:07:30] Yeah, be real shame if somebody came through here and told you boss that you uh didn't respect girls boundaries
[01:07:39] Maybe somebody sent a little facebook message to your mom
[01:07:43] You know what i mean say this is the sun you raised he's 35 years old and he said suck my dick bitch to a complete stranger on the internet
[01:07:50] Maybe maybe your mom who we've docked
[01:07:54] We've got your mom's jobs phone number
[01:07:57] That's what we've been calling up and say call. Yeah, this woman raised a man who thinks it's okay to tell the woman to shut up
[01:08:04] Ever a woman he doesn't know who's annoying who's in the way?
[01:08:08] Dumb is being a dumb bitch that he'll never meet in real life
[01:08:13] Because i know i me fantasizing that i'm the mother of a grown man
[01:08:19] I would say
[01:08:21] Yeah, yike brought you into this world i can take you out of it. How?
[01:08:25] I just want to say yikes
[01:08:27] Mm-hmm. I just want to say from the bottom my hearty yikes. That's a yikes for me
[01:08:31] That's the fucking a yikes for me. Yeah, like honestly like if you know there's believe women
[01:08:37] But if like a woman i know i never believed if a woman i know was like, you know some guy told me to shut the fuck up
[01:08:43] But of course you'd be like what were you saying?
[01:08:49] That's that's that's that's where you wear it does not equate to what were you wearing?
[01:08:52] It's what you wear it is different. Yeah, it's way different. Especially on the forum anyway, whatever
[01:08:57] Yeah, in the air where they deserve it. Where they deserve to be arrested
[01:09:03] This is not gonna be this you want to be online?
[01:09:06] With the fellas you want to be on the internet?
[01:09:09] What we can't call you gay. What are we gonna do? Say you suck dick
[01:09:13] You probably like that. Yeah, you probably fucking like that, you know, so you got to do something
[01:09:18] You got it. You can't make anybody have a good time ever
[01:09:20] Good times are canceled good times are canceled. Oh, yeah, Michael cancel the honor. Hey, i'm mom fucking Tom Michael
[01:09:28] Castellion
[01:09:29] Hey, listen, i'm just saying maybe i heard you said some not so charitable things about the chinese when you were in 7th grade
[01:09:36] I just want to say i always got rapey vibes
[01:09:40] Let me ask you this uh creepy rapey vibe
[01:09:43] You can explain this my space picture you pulling your eyes about
[01:09:46] Oh
[01:09:48] You can't oh you can
[01:09:52] Yeah, that's the sound of me sending that's me
[01:09:54] mailing
[01:09:56] Borsch he sending an anonymous email to mr
[01:10:00] William Carter sound familiar
[01:10:03] I know i have no idea who that is you're like well
[01:10:05] Well, somebody that has a similar name to you works at an office somewhere and he will be getting fired that guy will get fired
[01:10:13] Which is okay with me. I just have a taste for blood. I just i'm a vindictive piece of shit
[01:10:19] You could say who if we're being honest is probably just as bad a person if not worse than you
[01:10:25] Yes, probably and almost certainly worse
[01:10:28] Certainly fucking six months ago was doing all the things i'm mad about now
[01:10:34] In fact
[01:10:35] I probably hate the police, but if you put a gun in a badge in my hand, it would be like the 9-11 of travon martens
[01:10:45] Ah fuck well
[01:10:47] Folks
[01:10:49] At least podcasting will never go away. They don't never go. You know, it's like what they said in the sopranos. There's certain
[01:10:57] Certain industries that are resilient. We're recession proof. Yeah certain
[01:11:01] Certain aspects of the entertainment industry and our thing. Yeah, you know this thing of ours
[01:11:08] Podcasting all right. Well, goodbye