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Ep. 202 - Joris Bohnson

Cum Town | Regular | 04/09/2020

[00:00:00] Well, here we are. Oh, here we are. Time to mute the chat, of
[00:00:06] course. All right, there we go. Beautiful. Yeah. Have you put
[00:00:11] a what you find? Have you put a shirt on all week? Um, I put
[00:00:16] last time we recorded, I put a shirt on because I had my window
[00:00:19] open. I wanted to feel the cold. But now I'm back to I put a
[00:00:23] shirt on and then my nipples started hurting. Yeah, did you
[00:00:25] see this story about the pandas finally having sex in the
[00:00:28] zoo? I did and I got jealous. I know that makes that reminded me
[00:00:31] of you. It reminded me myself of me, dude. Yeah, I was like,
[00:00:35] damn, I wish that was me. I wish I was a fat little fucking
[00:00:38] ball. That's something another little a sexless type of bear.
[00:00:43] No, that's not what just a fat thing having sex is why it
[00:00:47] reminded me of me. Because that's kind of what I'm like a
[00:00:50] sexless Chinese bear. No, I'm not Chinese at all. I'm not
[00:00:55] even a little bit Chinese. You're Chinese. You're Chinese.
[00:00:58] You look a little Chinese. I've got some Chinese aspects.
[00:01:02] Some asiatic aspects to me a little bit. Did I tell you where I
[00:01:05] went to popular jewelry? They literally were like, you're
[00:01:08] Chinese, right? They like wanted a picture with me because I was
[00:01:11] Chinese. Yeah, maybe you should have gone to loser jewelry.
[00:01:14] Why? That's not I went to the right one. You and Adam should go
[00:01:19] to loser jewelry actually. I was at the right jewelry pretending
[00:01:22] to know how to skateboard jewelry. No, I'm not I went to the
[00:01:29] right one. The lady from front was fucking Chinese. Yeah, the
[00:01:33] lady thought you were Chinese. Yeah, that's how I started this
[00:01:35] story. Damn. I didn't know that you never told us that. Yeah, I
[00:01:39] went in there. It's owned by Chinese people. And she was like,
[00:01:43] Oh, you're Chinese, right? And I was like, no, she's like,
[00:01:45] you're half Chinese. And I was like, no, because I would
[00:01:47] describe this as Stavros with Chinese characteristics.
[00:01:51] If I had to describe describe your ideology with the money
[00:01:55] months that you look a little bit more Chinese. No, more Chinese
[00:01:59] a little bit a little bit. Is it just because I'm fat? Maybe I
[00:02:04] think maybe the fat closes your eyes. And when I'm laughing,
[00:02:10] little bit Chinese. There was a there was a kid growing up
[00:02:13] gr... He was fat as shit. He was his cheeks got fat only though. So
[00:02:20] he wasn't that but they so he did look like a like a Buddha
[00:02:23] statue almost. But yeah, it's funny. There's like, you know,
[00:02:26] people get so fat that they just get that fat face where they
[00:02:30] have like, you know, their nose starts getting swallowed by
[00:02:33] their cheeks. And then they got the same look. And it's like
[00:02:36] those they're done, you know, I mean, unless TLC intervenes.
[00:02:40] Yes, it's over for you. Absolutely. Yeah. Although some
[00:02:43] people carry weight in their face, my boy George had a fat
[00:02:47] face long after not being fat. Yeah, I had a my face didn't like
[00:02:52] my face got like hollowed out when I was like 24, I think, maybe
[00:02:58] 23. Prior to that, I had like a much much like puffy or face
[00:03:03] youthful, energetic. I guess I guess you could say that healthy.
[00:03:09] That's what that's what a fat face is. It's the sign of health.
[00:03:12] Is it? Yes. I don't know of extra of extra nutrients. Yeah,
[00:03:16] that's why they made a good of that. They're they're not seeing
[00:03:19] people on your wife yet.
[00:03:22] Is a long, I'm gonna pretend I don't know what you mean.
[00:03:27] Because I don't have a wife. I don't know if we've said that
[00:03:29] publicly, but then we have and the ship is not my wife. It seems
[00:03:34] like your wife to me and I don't know why the medical ship is
[00:03:37] not my wife. The USNS comfort is it's like, you know, how would
[00:03:44] I fuck the ship with up where I put my car? No, you're in the
[00:03:47] living room and then it barges in to bring like snacks or dinner
[00:03:50] or whatever. Okay. You know, look, I can get back here. She
[00:03:55] comes. Here's her just like you got what you guys doing your
[00:03:59] podcast in there? Wow, that is cute. Yeah. Are you and your
[00:04:03] friends doing your podcast in there? She's coming around the
[00:04:05] corner. Yeah. Well, I'm off to the I'm off to the supermarket to
[00:04:11] buy my husband more pork rinds. I don't like pork rinds that
[00:04:16] means. Yeah. Well, I gotta go get I gotta get stuff for my
[00:04:19] husband. I had a pork rinds face, but I'm past it now. I love
[00:04:24] pork rinds. Yeah. I'm past it too. So make me feel bad after
[00:04:29] the next day. Yeah. I mean, I just like the idea that that you
[00:04:32] have a wife that requires a crew of 200 to maintain the hose
[00:04:37] or down. Well, no, it's just that that is part of the component
[00:04:42] within your wife is that there's hundreds of men that keep the
[00:04:46] your wife running. Mm hmm. You know, that are required to make
[00:04:49] your meals. It requires a crew of hundreds of people. Yeah,
[00:04:56] hundreds of men wearing white if you include like four girls with
[00:05:01] big TZ that I can fuck. Sure. I'm on board with. Oh, yeah, it's
[00:05:04] how about this? It's the cast of down periscope. Great. Wait,
[00:05:09] what was down periscope? It's the Kelsey Grille. Yes, yes. Yes,
[00:05:15] for sure. Mm hmm. Okay, then yes, the boat is my wife. There
[00:05:18] we go. Now we're on board. You're an your initial your initial
[00:05:22] disagreement was thinking that it was some rude criticism when
[00:05:26] really it's like, I just want the best for you. You want me to be
[00:05:29] pampered. It would be really cool to have that as your wife,
[00:05:32] bro. Yeah, it would be cool. You know what? I'm glad it's my
[00:05:35] wife. We should see if Cuomo will let you get married to the
[00:05:37] ship. He probably has a crush on everyone has a crush on him,
[00:05:41] but it's dumb Italian brain makes him have a crush on the big fat
[00:05:44] wife boat. Yeah, for sure. We're not seeing patients on the boat
[00:05:48] yet. I've been making love to the boat every night. And those
[00:05:52] are the facts. I can only tell you what the facts are because
[00:05:56] we're going based on science and facts. What's my main? Why is
[00:06:01] everybody like Cuomo? I don't exactly understand because he
[00:06:03] gets on TV and he's the guy that's here right now. I see on TV.
[00:06:08] You know, yeah, everybody's scared and horny and there's like a
[00:06:11] guy on TV that's not Trump. I get well, I mean, it's like your
[00:06:14] options are Trump de Blasio or Cuomo. So yeah, you know,
[00:06:19] button stops like that ancient riddle, you know, the guy goes
[00:06:24] to the wizard and he says, you know, I can either call you the
[00:06:28] N word, call you the K word or fuck you in your ass. Yeah,
[00:06:34] which one do you want? I guess you can call me the K word that
[00:06:38] seems to be yeah, that's the one I would pick to. Yeah. And
[00:06:42] then, you know, the guy comes even hurt my feelings. The guy
[00:06:45] comes running down the mountain, he goes into the village, and
[00:06:47] he's like, the wizard called me a kike. He's all happy about it.
[00:06:51] And they're like, what? That's bad. And he's like, no, but the
[00:06:54] other you don't know the other the other options. I can't even
[00:06:57] repeat them. Yeah, you know, that classic is up. It's not
[00:07:03] fable.
[00:07:04] Gaze off space. No, if you had to fuck Mary kill Cuomo Trump
[00:07:09] de Blasio. I guess you fuck Trump. Why? Well, I guess you
[00:07:15] marry. Well, I guess. The blasio is no good options with the
[00:07:21] whole thing. It's all bad. Cuomo, I don't want to be married
[00:07:24] to an Italian. Why? Because there's a faithful like she
[00:07:29] Trump cheats and rapes.
[00:07:34] The blasio is probably a good husband. He's German. He's not
[00:07:37] Italian. He just has an Italian name. So you get all the funny
[00:07:39] parts of an Italian with German stability. You know, a good
[00:07:44] base like Angela Merkel. Yeah. You know that bitch could take a
[00:07:48] cock.
[00:07:49] It's like this. Okay, you got that Merkel like getting fucked
[00:07:56] ability. Angela Merkel. And then he died. What's that? I guess I
[00:08:02] fucked Trump for the story to see what his cock looks like. Yeah.
[00:08:05] And I think you have to keep you have to whack Cuomo was
[00:08:08] that in terms. Yeah, he would understand. Yeah, it's
[00:08:12] good. There's hotter than him. His brother's what?
[00:08:15] hotter than him. Chris. Yeah. Isn't Chris in a relationship with
[00:08:20] Don Lemon? They do. They do two television shows in a row, which
[00:08:29] probably means. Oh, I thought they were. Let's go. I thought
[00:08:33] they were. I thought they were sexually involved with each other.
[00:08:35] Yeah, no, I think they are. Yeah, I remember reading that on
[00:08:39] Facebook a couple years back.
[00:08:41] Yeah, that's the thing I remember reading about. I heard the
[00:08:46] only time they have sex with a woman is when Rachel Maddow pegs
[00:08:50] them. Actually, I heard that on Facebook too. Probably down on
[00:08:53] the same comment thread that you read. Yeah, you read. Yeah. And
[00:08:59] there's a spinoff show called Maddow About You. Maddow About You.
[00:09:06] And you fuck. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
[00:09:10] You actually fuck. All right. And Shannon, Shannon, Wolf Blitzer.
[00:09:13] Yeah, he did. Mm hmm. And Paul Reiser too. Paul Reiser.
[00:09:19] He also fucks Paul Reiser. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I think I remember
[00:09:24] reading all that on Facebook. Yeah. That's a good show underrated.
[00:09:27] Yeah. The writing staff when Maddow About You is fucking wild.
[00:09:31] They got all the guys from Fraser. Yeah, similar type of show.
[00:09:36] This bitch. That's the time me that Jewish guys could have wives.
[00:09:41] That was big for you. Jewish guys getting blonde wives.
[00:09:46] They could have a wife. A blonde annoying fucking.
[00:09:51] Blond annoying. That's shicks a wife. Mm hmm. What is shicks
[00:09:55] amine? It means rape. It means prisoner. It means rape to victim.
[00:10:01] Mm hmm. It means smuggled in traffic. Oh, yes. Yeah.
[00:10:10] Is it because now is shicks? Is that because it sounds like
[00:10:13] shaxuka and their pussies are spicy to the Jewish tongue?
[00:10:17] Yeah, it's a spicy breakfast dish. It's a spicy meatball.
[00:10:21] Yes. Do they make spicy meatballs?
[00:10:25] That's a good question because most meatballs I've had are not
[00:10:27] spicy. And the Italians never shut the fuck up about how spicy meatballs
[00:10:31] are. And I've never had a spicy meatball my entire. Yeah, that's a great
[00:10:34] point. Yeah, I've had a spicy sausage. That's why and that's why they put
[00:10:38] in charge of this thing is some wah fuck that's going to, you know, all I can
[00:10:42] deal with is facts. Yeah, well, you can't even figure out whether your
[00:10:47] pasta's fucking piece of shit. Yeah, how about that? How about this?
[00:10:53] My question. How do you become a reporter that gets to ask questions
[00:10:57] and those briefings? I guess you go to school and then you get a
[00:11:01] good a fucking Northwestern, I think you got to work for a news
[00:11:05] organization. Yeah, or your dad could be the governor, which is what
[00:11:08] Chris Cuomo did. And your brother could be the governor too. Yeah,
[00:11:11] but you can be hot. You have you can be fuckable. Yeah.
[00:11:17] I thought it was cool when a guy said, what do you say to the people
[00:11:20] that are scared right now? And Trump said, I say you're a terrible
[00:11:22] reporter. Yeah, he's been doing he's been doing that the whole time.
[00:11:26] Yeah, he got him. I'm struggling here because we have we have a
[00:11:34] read and I can't find that's all right, bro. Well, I got to find
[00:11:39] the new copy and every time this fucking happens, but I find it
[00:11:43] and then I forget what I typed in. I also have four different email
[00:11:46] addresses. You got to consolidate, brother. I should, but you know,
[00:11:50] they can little dick boy at nikasgate.org is available. They
[00:11:54] kept me getting mad at me. You know what is available that I
[00:11:58] didn't buy it because I was too lazy to do it. I don't even want
[00:12:01] to say it. I don't know. I'm not gonna say it because somebody
[00:12:03] else. They'll say it. They'll say it. They'll take it before
[00:12:05] don't say it. Someone will do it while you're saying. Yeah, it's
[00:12:08] a good find. I'll hold on to that. Yeah, hold on to that. Mm hmm.
[00:12:13] Um, anyway, I guess we should talk about how we're fucked
[00:12:16] because Bernie's out. Yeah, I'm really sad. Shit sucks, dude.
[00:12:20] This really sucks. Well, there's also like a pandemic. So yeah,
[00:12:25] that too. Mm hmm. We're gonna get our asses fucked by type of
[00:12:29] the bunch of different stuff. I heard there's gonna be hurricanes
[00:12:31] dude. Yeah. From some guy again on Facebook. Yeah, I don't know
[00:12:35] actually if that's true or not. Bill Gates is inventing a machine
[00:12:38] to hide elite level pedophilia with hurricanes. Elite level. It's
[00:12:45] it's the hurricane. It passes over and it goes over, you know, and
[00:12:50] then you get to the eye of the storm. It's done hot air balloon
[00:12:54] where you can rape children Don Lemon and Chris Cuomo holding
[00:12:57] hands with each other going on a date. It's the house from up in
[00:13:03] the eye of the storm. Yeah, having gay sex and sex with
[00:13:06] children in there. Yeah. Damn, I should rewatch up. Dude, unless
[00:13:12] you want to cry. I don't know. I probably I probably turned it
[00:13:14] off after 10 minutes. That's the part where you cry the
[00:13:17] beginning. It's sad as fuck. A little wife dies. Should have
[00:13:23] fucked up, dude. Is it fucked up? Yeah, dude, it's sad. I don't
[00:13:26] remember any of the emotions of the movie. I just remember there
[00:13:30] was a house. And the boy was Korean. Yes, he was a fat little
[00:13:36] Korean boy. Yeah, this is the two details of the movie that I
[00:13:39] recall. Dude, the first fucking like 11 minutes of up a real
[00:13:44] fucking tearjerker. Mm hmm. Yeah, it is crazy how they're able to
[00:13:48] just do that and like, you know, with no dialogue quick, dude. Yeah.
[00:13:53] Just because they draw that they draw that the things with so
[00:13:55] much life in their eyes. Here we go. Okay. I got this shit now.
[00:14:03] Fellows. All right. What are we going to do in 15 minutes or
[00:14:06] right now? No, we'll do it at a lot of time. Okay. Nice. How
[00:14:10] about you? Are you on you? You have a stockpile? You're not
[00:14:13] even take you're not you have no reason to take the pills.
[00:14:16] Dude, that's the one thing my body. You know how they're saying
[00:14:19] like nature is returning. My body is returning to nature with no
[00:14:23] dick pills, dude. Yeah. So you have a vagina now. Your penis
[00:14:29] is falling off. The cock is out. Do my balls are shrunk with all
[00:14:40] the hair. My balls keep getting fatter. My pubes are falling
[00:14:43] off. My balls are shrunk. I could sing in a beautiful falsetto
[00:14:48] now. My hair is growing back. Look, my hair is on my hair. Look
[00:14:56] how beautiful my hairline is. Dude, look at this beautiful
[00:14:59] immaculate hair. You know, it's funny. It doesn't look like
[00:15:01] it's receded since you like cut it all off. I mean, it was that
[00:15:05] bad and fucking yeah. I think I just have this shitty hairline
[00:15:08] for the rest of my life. Yeah. Which is annoying. Look at this.
[00:15:12] It looks like a fucking arrow pointed into my penis. Doesn't
[00:15:16] yeah. Well, actually, it looks like a butt plug. Here's the
[00:15:20] little end. Here's the bigger end. I don't even see what you're
[00:15:23] talking about. Yeah. Well, you need to fucking open your eyes,
[00:15:27] pal. It's like I wish I was going balder because I want a
[00:15:30] bald ponytail, but I'm just gonna have this hairy bullshit
[00:15:33] like fucking thin layer of hair to shave that part and then
[00:15:37] you know, yes, that's it. It looks like Adam's out. Well, no
[00:15:42] big deal. That was our chance to read his social security
[00:15:47] numbers. This is awesome because now it's live stream. So we
[00:15:50] could just not do it. We'll be like, sorry, dude. It was the
[00:15:52] live stream. Yeah, sorry. We had to keep the show. The show
[00:15:54] must go on. Yeah. And actually, people really liked it. So I
[00:15:57] think we're just gonna keep doing it. I think we're just gonna
[00:15:59] keep going this way. Just to got like, and it automatically
[00:16:03] cut him out of the picture to the computer program. Yeah.
[00:16:09] Initializing making the podcast better. Right. It would be
[00:16:12] funny if there were if there were like, you know, like a lead
[00:16:15] tech pedophiles that were in control of everything, the play
[00:16:18] in the virus, you know, whatever, this is all just
[00:16:21] contravenced to. But then they also listened to the podcast. And
[00:16:25] they were like, also, not only do we fuck kids, but we're gonna
[00:16:28] get Adam off the show. Adam's on the fuck. Adam's gone. I thought
[00:16:32] actually what might have happened is this program has like an
[00:16:35] auto detect feature that automatically, you know, removes
[00:16:39] white noise from the background. Yeah. And that's kind of fucking
[00:16:43] side have like, yeah, this story is from the movie, cheaper by
[00:16:47] the dozen. This is this is stolen from Riff momentum.
[00:16:55] Riff momentum, Riff momentum, time to time to stop. Yeah, it
[00:16:59] sounds like there's an echo from two weeks ago. Sounds like
[00:17:05] like things that were said weeks ago, but are being repeated
[00:17:08] now.
[00:17:11] Trim that out. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like putting a
[00:17:14] filter. I'm glad that it's his computer that fucked up. After
[00:17:17] all the shit I caught over my my beautiful mixing board. That's
[00:17:21] true. Which the audience should know that issue has been
[00:17:24] resolved. That's yeah, I figured out how to mix out. You
[00:17:29] know, and so now we get that bad boy back in there. And I can
[00:17:36] hear it. I can hear myself. I can hear you hear myself is
[00:17:39] important for when I do voices. Absolutely. You know, like, no
[00:17:44] joke. Huh? Look how smooth this is running without Adam. Like
[00:17:47] yeah, even tech wise. He's beautiful. Right. He's texting me.
[00:17:50] Can you resend the link? It's in the fucking text thread you
[00:17:54] dumbass. Yeah, it's also like, what am I supposed to do? Close
[00:17:57] this window. Open iMessage. I'm supposed to close Safari. Go
[00:18:02] all the way to iMessage. Come on, man. Manually, while
[00:18:06] podcasting manually type out HTTP the whole link. I'm supposed
[00:18:11] to link. I'm supposed to look at the URL memorize it. Right. You
[00:18:16] want me to write this down on a piece of paper. What the hell
[00:18:19] man? And then take a picture of it and then upload it to your
[00:18:24] FTP so that you can go then you log in. Yep. And then look
[00:18:29] at I'm supposed to do all that. You want me to do those things.
[00:18:32] That's the steps. Oh, sorry, guys. Hello, Adam.
[00:18:38] Yeah.
[00:18:50] Oh, yeah. I'm just kidding. All right. We'll get. All right. Hey,
[00:18:55] sorry. My computer froze. Uh huh. Yeah. I'm back. Yeah. Nice,
[00:19:00] dude. I was showing. I did screen share and I was showing
[00:19:03] everybody quick books and how I can just have like I got your
[00:19:05] W9 signed election. Oh, you showed everyone my social
[00:19:08] security. Yeah. Well, I was just showing them how cool it is
[00:19:11] to how QuickBooks works with. Well, I love good tips on books
[00:19:15] and stuff like that. For example, we'll go to we'll go to
[00:19:17] contractor Adam Friedland's page here and we'll take a look.
[00:19:21] You can see you get his address plugged in there and here's
[00:19:24] this. Yeah. Here's the social security number. Is EIN? Yeah,
[00:19:29] for his corporation? Yeah, for my for my S corp. Cool. Well, you
[00:19:34] know, as long as everyone's still on the same way. Everything
[00:19:36] everything goes everything goes in through Israel Corp. LLC.
[00:19:42] Yeah. Well, yeah, well, it's I'm actually at my S corp is a
[00:19:45] shell corporation for Lee Koot. I was a it's a pass through.
[00:19:54] You're paid through who's the guy that does power rangers and
[00:19:59] hummus? I'm Sibon. Yeah, you paid through the Sibon
[00:20:02] Corporation. You're an employee of Sibon. Yes, I'm I'm a
[00:20:06] subsidiary of Soda streaming.
[00:20:09] About instead of an idiot, Sivan, it's an idiot Sivan. And he's
[00:20:12] like, I'm retarded, but I'm also Jewish. Yeah. We're back. We're
[00:20:19] back. Idiot Sivan. And idiots. Yeah. They're like,
[00:20:23] yeah. Uh, Charlie, Charlie, we have to go to Vegas. They're
[00:20:28] like, what's the problem? My brother like, well, he's
[00:20:32] retarded, but he's also Jewish. But he's Jewish. He's like,
[00:20:35] wait a minute, you saying I can use him to make money?
[00:20:38] Def, def, def, def, definitely, definitely, definitely,
[00:20:40] we're gonna make the workers work. We're gonna, we're gonna
[00:20:42] say, we're gonna set up a bank, Charlie, Charlie, we're gonna
[00:20:45] set up a bank.
[00:20:46] Definitely, definitely, definitely, definitely gonna
[00:20:49] correct the rate off. Definitely gonna correct the rent.
[00:20:53] Definitely, definitely gonna own a couple of properties. Yeah.
[00:20:58] Your brother is an idiot, Sivan mentally disabled, but he also
[00:21:04] inherited all of your dad's money.
[00:21:07] Def, definitely have to buy clothes and sell them for 400%
[00:21:10] of mark. Definitely gonna buy all the N95 masks. Definitely
[00:21:14] gonna.
[00:21:15] I almost got into a fight with a guy in Caco, part of the
[00:21:18] console. You almost lost a fight. You almost got your ass
[00:21:22] kicked those off. There's a guy, Costco parking lot selling
[00:21:29] N95 for $50 a mask. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, he was,
[00:21:34] I'll say this, Philipino.
[00:21:37] And 95 seems like it would be like the name of like a racist
[00:21:41] sneaker. Yeah, you know what I mean? Like the Nike N95.
[00:21:46] Yeah. Yeah. Nothing flashy. Right. Don't even try me from my
[00:21:52] N95s. Yeah.
[00:21:58] Yeah, it was good to see someone other than a
[00:22:01] prosthetic Jew trying to, you know, benefit from this
[00:22:06] horrific pandemic. What are you talking about? Who they should
[00:22:09] have fucked up that. This guy, this guy in the, this this
[00:22:13] Pinoy guy in the Costco parking lot that was selling N95s
[00:22:16] for him. He's trying to flip N95s. He looked like he was a
[00:22:22] car salesman actually. We're not even supposed to, we're not
[00:22:25] even supposed to wear them here anymore. You're supposed to
[00:22:28] make me. They're supposed to go to the
[00:22:30] have them. You're supposed to just donate them to a hospital.
[00:22:32] You're supposed to like, make your own mask. Yeah. You're
[00:22:38] supposed to be a mess. These days. My roommate's family in
[00:22:41] Texas found three random ones and mailed them to us. So am I not
[00:22:46] supposed to use that? No, you're supposed to make your own
[00:22:48] shit. And then you're supposed to give that you should go drop
[00:22:51] those off at Elmhurst. Okay, I'll do that. Where's that? Oh,
[00:22:56] Elmhurst. I'm not trying to go over there. Why? It's dangerous,
[00:23:00] bro. Is it? I think so. I'm not leaving the house at all,
[00:23:04] bro. Yeah, you're scared. You're scared of the virus. I'm
[00:23:07] scared of the virus. It's been nice. It's like Adam's gone
[00:23:10] again. I've been checked in on on. Oh, yeah, he is frozen.
[00:23:16] Just stupid face. Just looking at a man's penis. Just like not
[00:23:22] it's funny because it's like, even if he were here, he'd have
[00:23:25] that look and he'd not be listening to a word that's been
[00:23:27] said. No, that's this is actually perfect because this is
[00:23:31] exactly what we deal with all the time. I know. It's not listening
[00:23:34] phase. Waiting to say something that's not a joke. Yeah, yeah.
[00:23:38] Yeah, I was thinking about getting into turtlenecks.
[00:23:43] You're like, Oh, okay. Would that be weird? Would that be
[00:23:51] weird if I had a turtleneck?
[00:23:58] God damn, dude. Yeah. Damn. I guess I won't use the mask anymore.
[00:24:03] Yeah, you're supposed to just got it. I was excited. Yeah, I
[00:24:05] want to get like a screen mask, scary clown mask. Oh, yeah.
[00:24:10] Stormtrooper outfit. Bill, Bill Clinton with his tongue out.
[00:24:15] Bill Clinton with his tongue out. That was a big mask,
[00:24:17] remember? Like the yes, late 90s big Halloween mask. Yeah.
[00:24:21] Well, Spencer's gifts had that wall of like the the fancy
[00:24:25] Halloween mask. Yes. You would just look at it as a poor
[00:24:29] child to be like one day. Yeah, just like they I'm going to be
[00:24:32] the fuck up clown with his with a chainsaw mark halfway through.
[00:24:35] I don't think anyone was buying those because they were like
[00:24:37] $200 for a Halloween mask.
[00:24:42] They were for kids to ask their parents. You know what the
[00:24:45] function was? You said you want you ask for a very expensive
[00:24:50] thing so that maybe it bumps you up so you get a mid tier instead
[00:24:53] of a low tier one. Yeah, because you whine like, Oh, I want
[00:24:56] the $200 mask. Oh, was it the hat you think Adam is doing it?
[00:24:59] Is that why you know? I don't know. My computer keeps
[00:25:02] crashing. So great. I got it fucking 11 months ago. So.
[00:25:08] Yeah, I was lucky in that both of my parents are creatively
[00:25:10] inclined. So like the homemade costumes were very good.
[00:25:16] Oh, interesting. My mom, my mom, my mom so it's sonic the
[00:25:20] hedgehog for me when I was like five. Hell yeah. And it was like,
[00:25:25] I mean, I guess maybe in retrospect, they didn't look like
[00:25:28] sonic. It looks like shit. But as a child,
[00:25:30] sure. Yeah. No, I'd like to fucking the thing. She like so
[00:25:34] Oh, she did. Okay. She did the whole pain in my face. And then
[00:25:38] I'm on pain in my my only great face painter. And then I just
[00:25:40] want to be yeah, I just wanted to be a the Grim Reaper every other
[00:25:44] year. So it's just hoodie and then plastic sites. And that's
[00:25:48] the move. I was Hercules. That was a big one because I was a
[00:25:54] big fan of the Kevin Sorbo. Kevin Sorbo series. So I had the
[00:26:00] Kevin Sorbo Hercules. I was a big Tracy.
[00:26:04] Take Tracy. Nice.
[00:26:08] Look, Adam, this way it's just not meant to be. Yeah. You might
[00:26:11] have to sit this one out. I'll just come, you know, I'll try
[00:26:16] my I'll try. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we're trying to do a seasonal
[00:26:21] Halloween show. Nice topical Halloween show. You're ruining
[00:26:28] the vibes are trying to get people in the Halloween spirit.
[00:26:32] Pixelated. Pixelated like a grant like a grand theft auto
[00:26:35] blowjob like a like a Japanese woman's vagina. Yes. Yeah. The
[00:26:40] only porn worth jacking off to. Yes. Me. It'd be tight if you
[00:26:44] went over there and you took off a Japanese woman's pants and
[00:26:47] her ship is all just pixelated. And you're like, well, for
[00:26:49] really? How? Awesome. You put your dick inside and it felt like
[00:26:53] dial up. Yeah, it feels like feels like
[00:26:57] you're going to the Matrix for the first time.
[00:27:02] Whoa. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:27:09] Yeah. Yeah. Going back in your head. You're jacking into the
[00:27:12] mainframe. Yeah. Every Japanese woman's pussy. Mm hmm.
[00:27:17] Um, that would all be awesome. Yeah. You know what's good is
[00:27:22] Gelt. The Jews should have hung everything on Gelt.
[00:27:25] What's Gelt? I don't know if that coins. I don't know if it's
[00:27:28] so good for us to be doing candy money. Why? Because of the
[00:27:32] stereotype that we love coins and gold. Yeah. But then they
[00:27:37] make it. Then you make it so everyone likes it. It's like,
[00:27:39] this is the kind of gold. This is the kind of this is why
[00:27:43] you're stupid. It's because you think, you know, like people
[00:27:46] are like, oh, black people love fried chicken. They're like,
[00:27:48] okay, well, we'll open the best fried chicken restaurants.
[00:27:51] And then you have to go. Popeyes. Yeah. Popeyes, which is owned
[00:27:54] by Jimmy Popeye. Jimmy Popeye. There is actually an Israeli
[00:28:01] chocolate restaurant in the middle of Manhattan. Max Bruner
[00:28:06] or something. The fuck? Yeah. It's across the street from the
[00:28:11] AMC. I did not know that was Israeli. It's Israeli. I thought
[00:28:14] it was a chocolate restaurant. Stay woke. That's a chocolate
[00:28:18] restaurant. Are you gonna have to break? Yes. Yes. Stop about
[00:28:22] to. He's about to cross the BDS pickle line. It's a chocolate
[00:28:27] restaurant. Just you see the dust cloud. And I just come back
[00:28:32] and I just covered a chocolate like Sonic. That'd be cool. That
[00:28:37] would be fucking tight. Because I'm gay now. I've been
[00:28:42] listening to the new weekend album. Pretty good. Yeah. I tried
[00:28:46] listening to the new nine inch nails album. She should just
[00:28:50] be called more of the same. I think I've only heard like the
[00:28:56] one about being an animal or whatever. Yeah. Fuck you like
[00:28:59] an animal. Yeah. That's what I'm gonna do. That guy does
[00:29:02] music. That guy does film scores now. Trent Reznor. Yeah. He
[00:29:06] did social network. Trent Lesnar. Really? Lesnar?
[00:29:10] Lesnar. That's true. That's true. That's because he's
[00:29:21] lesbian. Yeah. Yeah, dude. He got the fuck's able. That's his
[00:29:25] wife. I didn't watch this. Yeah. But in a lesbian way. What
[00:29:28] said it? Did you watch that? Did you watch that? Jack off the
[00:29:30] wrestling? No. No, we've had this conversation too. Okay.
[00:29:35] Watch Tiger King. I did watch it. It was pretty good. Yeah.
[00:29:39] What's it about? It's a guy that fucks tigers. Yeah. Yeah. I
[00:29:43] think he's gay. He has a little tiger zoo and he like tricks
[00:29:49] like teenagers on meth to suck his cock. Razina. Basically,
[00:29:52] that's that's what all these Netflix shows are. No. Just
[00:29:57] maybe just like people on drugs. Yeah. Shut up Adam. We're
[00:30:02] trying to do a song about doing the song. I'm sorry.
[00:30:06] On the air. It's the guy of the tiger and it's not making
[00:30:12] about me. It's not. It's a show about a gay guy. Now if you'll
[00:30:19] excuse me me and Nick will do a gay song. Why don't you go unplug
[00:30:24] your internet again? It wasn't the internet. It was my computer
[00:30:27] that crashed. Oh, why? Did you buy the cheapest computer?
[00:30:31] No, I didn't. I bought it. I just do my job. Give me the
[00:30:34] cheapest. Give me the cheapest computer. I have it's a macbook
[00:30:38] pro. Yes, I you know I have. No, you haven't
[00:30:43] you lied about it. It's been a lot.
[00:30:48] Speaking of if you're thick small and you'd like medicine.
[00:30:53] All right. If you're thick small like Adam and you would like
[00:30:56] some medicine to deal with it, there's a new company out there.
[00:31:00] There's no medicine for it. Oh hell yeah. Doom Eternal comes
[00:31:04] today. Oh, nice. Oh, you're doing physical even even in the
[00:31:08] face of a pandemic. You're not downloading. No, I never
[00:31:10] downloaded shit. I know but now. Which I don't know why because
[00:31:15] it doesn't really save you any. You can use it on different
[00:31:19] systems. I think is the only difference. What downloading?
[00:31:23] No, if you do discs. Oh, you we can use it on like PS5 when
[00:31:27] that comes out. I don't know. I just meant like a different
[00:31:30] place. I thought it's I thought that I thought having the
[00:31:32] disc saved you some space but I guess it doesn't at all.
[00:31:35] No, dude. It's so fucking bullshit. You fucking put a disc in and
[00:31:38] then that's the load for an hour. Yeah. Fuck that dude.
[00:31:41] I'm pissed. Sometimes longer. Anyways, if you like if you like
[00:31:45] having sex, you'll love.
[00:31:52] bluetooth.com. Oh yeah. Because if you like sex, you'll love
[00:31:57] their website. Dude. Oh, that's right. Their website.
[00:32:01] Please tell Nick to stop saying that it can work fast.
[00:32:05] Okay. That's fine. Please tell the come town guys.
[00:32:10] Not only they cannot say twice as fast at all. That's what I keep
[00:32:17] fucking. Okay. That was email. It doesn't. It doesn't work twice
[00:32:21] as bad. It does. It will get your dick twice as hard as it is.
[00:32:24] It can work faster because it's a chewable because you chew it
[00:32:28] because you chew it and it also do it. But I like to suck on it
[00:32:32] because it tastes good. Oh yeah. If you like sucking on it.
[00:32:36] Nice lozenge. Yeah. If you like if you like getting sucked off
[00:32:39] fucked in the ass, blowing loads, every aspect of sex, you'll love
[00:32:45] bluetooth.com. bluetooth.com offers many performance enhancement in
[00:32:49] the bedroom. You know, kind of like that boys kind of akin to
[00:32:53] shoving a gun in a woman's face. Yeah. You want to be as hard as
[00:32:58] you are with with a fucking 40 count at the back of a woman's
[00:33:01] head you just met. Yeah. But you don't have but you guess what?
[00:33:04] You're going to go to jail if they catch you with another
[00:33:06] unregistered gun. Yeah. Yeah. Blue. Here's the thing. You're trapped
[00:33:09] inside and so is your wife might as well get some blue chew and make it
[00:33:12] real hard on her. Mm hmm. Now that you get some
[00:33:15] quiet. She's out there. She's trying to teach the kids while you
[00:33:18] game and watch podcast while you do live podcasting. You're
[00:33:23] watching my podcast. Yeah. You just take take 30 blue chew pills
[00:33:26] and you go dudes rock. There's your eyes rolling the back of your
[00:33:31] head and you you let lust take you away. Yep.
[00:33:35] bluetooth.com offers or can you can get the first chewable with the
[00:33:39] active ingredients. So Denifil. So Denifil and Tada Tada Tada Tada
[00:33:46] Phil. Tada Tada
[00:33:47] Phil. Damn. Tada Tada
[00:33:50] What name? What's up? Yo, my name Tada Tada Phil because I
[00:33:52] fill up the dollars. He filled that's good. Something like that. Yeah.
[00:33:56] He filled a pimp named Tada. All my dollars are filled up.
[00:34:00] Field. It's like what? A pimp with erectile dysfunction.
[00:34:06] I got my dollars filled up. What does that mean? I don't
[00:34:11] give you filled the dollar. My dollars is filled. What don't you
[00:34:14] understand? Anyways, chewables can work faster.
[00:34:19] And the chewables from bluetooth can be taken on a full or empty stomach.
[00:34:23] That's right dude. You know. You've just had a quarter of
[00:34:27] court of cum. Doesn't matter. You drink a big old glass of
[00:34:30] time. You eat your bluetooth and the online physician
[00:34:35] consult is free. You know. That's huge. So you get the
[00:34:40] you can try it out on the physician. You know, you can try it. Now that you can
[00:34:45] try out quarantine. You get to jack off in front of the
[00:34:47] because look, a lot of you guys are going to be beaten off
[00:34:50] on cam. You know, absolutely. You don't realize it yet. You think you're doing
[00:34:54] fine, beating off the porn, but eventually you're going to have to date
[00:34:57] an e-girl. You know, you're going to be involved in a long-term relationship.
[00:35:02] Why do you are new to the internet? You don't understand. You don't get this.
[00:35:05] You don't get it. Guess what? She's got an only fan. And she's going to have to do a
[00:35:09] Zoom jack off set. And you're going to have to be involved. And your dick's going to have
[00:35:13] to be hard. And it's if you think it's hard to get hard while fucking
[00:35:17] imagine how hard it is to get hard for a Skype window. Brutal. So you're going to
[00:35:23] eat some bluetooth. The consult is free. So put your dick out and show them
[00:35:29] on the blue. Go to support at bluetooth.com and email them a picture of yourself.
[00:35:35] It only takes a few minutes to connect with a bluetooth.com. They mean
[00:35:39] connect emotionally. You know? Yeah. They mean like sexual connect.
[00:35:44] They ask questions. Fulfillated physician, if you qualify, you get prescribed online
[00:35:47] quickly. There's no in-person doctor visit, no awkward conversation, no
[00:35:51] violating social distancing. You know, you want you want Viagra,
[00:35:56] Cialis, you got to violate social distancing rules and go to the doctor.
[00:35:59] Not so you got to go up. You got to suck off a doctor. Yeah.
[00:36:03] It ships directly to your door and discreet packaging. So if you're like me
[00:36:08] and you like going through people's mail, you won't know if your neighbors are
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[00:36:15] dick is. When I pry open my neighbor's mail and I say, oh I'm sorry, I thought it was
[00:36:19] my mailbox with my with a crowbar and a hammer.
[00:36:25] Abandoned mask. Yeah, I'm sorry. I thought I was at my own.
[00:36:32] Wearing fucking Zorobask in black leather gloves. Oh well, I apologize. I thought I was at
[00:36:37] my house. I haven't been out. We know who you are. We know who you are. You live up
[00:36:43] there. I haven't been outside in so long because of the quarantine. I simply
[00:36:46] forgot which mailbox was mod.
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[00:37:23] Notes and ideas start. Please use your own language and talk about your own experiences.
[00:37:27] If you wish, we want men to know it's okay to need or want some help to
[00:37:33] be creative. Let's be clear. It's not okay, but guess what? Let's fuck. I'm ashamed every
[00:37:42] time I take a pill. I think to myself, my body, I'm 31 years old, my cock should get hard.
[00:37:47] But listen, why even think about what's okay? I don't care. I just think about it like drugs.
[00:37:52] You know? Because then it's nice because it gives me the possibility to overdose on
[00:37:58] fucking, which is what fucking has been missing. It's why I could never develop any kind of sex
[00:38:03] addiction because there wasn't a chance that I'd have a heart attack.
[00:38:07] Yes. Well, guess what? Now. Now there are folks. Now you could have a brain aneurysm.
[00:38:13] Oh, yeah. You take enough of those? You'll get a real headache.
[00:38:17] I've been there, brother. You want to talk about our experience?
[00:38:20] No, I've not had any. You've never been there. Thirty seconds ago.
[00:38:23] My years have gotten the hot. Listen. Yeah. No, stop. No, stop. No, put me back on.
[00:38:35] Damn, I love that. That is awesome. It is cool. I wonder if this way where I can give you
[00:38:41] executive privileges. That would be nice. Damn me. No, no, no. I kind of want to rewatch
[00:38:48] executive privileges. What's that about? Executive decision, you mean? No, it's a different movie.
[00:38:56] It's a better one. It's got JT Walsh and Alec Baldwin and Bill Pullman.
[00:39:07] Oh, yeah. Yeah. Bill Pullman, JT Walsh. Classic boss guys. Yeah. Executive permission or whatever.
[00:39:18] Whatever I said, the first time.
[00:39:25] 1997 executive permission.
[00:39:28] When you're an executive, you need permission. Yeah. That's why movies are good.
[00:39:34] Based on Baldwin teaching Bill Pullman, he can rate based on the Clive Clancy novel.
[00:39:39] Executive permission. My Clive Clancy.
[00:39:45] As Clive Clancy's gig Tom Clancy's gay brother. Yeah. Permission to speak freely, sir.
[00:39:51] That's that line precedes every other line in the movie.
[00:39:58] Yeah. Yeah, fuck.
[00:40:00] Like someone someone needs to wake up the president. It's like 3 a.m. Sure. You need to take a look at this.
[00:40:09] The president's somebody. It's my penis. Somebody needs to get permission from the president to see this.
[00:40:19] You don't have the executive permission, son.
[00:40:22] Son, son, got the executive permission to make you don't have the I'm a four star general.
[00:40:28] And I'm mad in the movie. And I'm not looking at your and I'm upset the entire the whole time.
[00:40:36] The whole movie. The whole movie. I'm good.
[00:40:40] Let me take these Arabs back to the Stone Ages and know I will not look at your penis.
[00:40:44] Yeah. And then there's like some bitch that wears shoulder pads.
[00:40:48] You know, she's like, remember when we had sex at Harvard?
[00:40:54] Remember when we used to then remember when we used to fuck.
[00:40:56] Yeah. And politics college.
[00:41:00] Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Those were different times.
[00:41:04] There's different times you fucking whore.
[00:41:06] Yeah, we can't. We were just kids.
[00:41:09] No, it's executive. Now it's a whole world of permission.
[00:41:18] It's like 400 movies that are just.
[00:41:21] Just somebody's stolen. 95 to 99. Yeah. The vice president slipped on a banana and died.
[00:41:32] And nobody knows where he is. The public doesn't know, but they've replaced the vice president with a clone.
[00:41:40] Terrorist. Yeah. Russian.
[00:41:42] Russian ultra nationalist have replaced the vice president with a clone.
[00:41:47] That's a good ass movie right there. Yeah.
[00:41:53] I'll watch that, honestly.
[00:41:55] You know what I watched recently? Was a big trouble little China.
[00:41:58] Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's a good ass movie, dude.
[00:42:01] You like it because it has magic, right?
[00:42:03] I love magic. I haven't seen it. I haven't seen it since I was a kid.
[00:42:07] It's good. You can watch.
[00:42:08] Have you seen showdown? I will Tokyo. No. It's a very funny movie.
[00:42:13] Not even saying movie. No, it's a different movie.
[00:42:16] It's Brandon Lee and Dolph Longerin. Are you sure that's not the same movie?
[00:42:20] It's Brandon Lee and Dolph Longerin and they play like Asian task force police on the LAPD.
[00:42:28] Yeah. So like the LAPD has like a section just for dealing with Chinese.
[00:42:33] Just dealing with Asian crimes. Karate. Yeah.
[00:42:39] But there's all this like, I mean, the movie's hilarious, but they get they get some Yakuza
[00:42:44] guy and he's in and like Dolph Longerin knows everything about the Asian gangs or whatever.
[00:42:48] So there's like a Yakuza guy in like the interrogation box and he's left for alone for a second and
[00:42:53] Dolph Longerin sees the guy by himself and he's like, shit, you know, and he starts running in
[00:42:58] the room. They're like, what? What is it? You know, and the guy just takes his own head and breaks his own neck.
[00:43:06] While being like voluntarily detained.
[00:43:10] Yeah.
[00:43:10] Yeah. Just question about something.
[00:43:14] That fucking rocks, dude. Yeah.
[00:43:17] Damn. Showdown in Little Tokyo. Mm. That's awesome. But they just named a movie that.
[00:43:23] Yeah. I watched show girl China. I watched show girls yesterday.
[00:43:28] I don't think you did. Yes, I did.
[00:43:29] And you know what? It's funny though. You've been watching. You've been watching Barney every day.
[00:43:34] No, I haven't been watching any babies. Yeah. You've been watching. Pretty sure you didn't
[00:43:38] watch it. Every day it's been nothing but Barney. Well, I've been in timeout a lot.
[00:43:42] Yeah. You watch. You watch show guys. Yeah. I don't know. No idea. Watch show.
[00:43:48] Boys. That's not a movie. It is. I just checked it actually is. It's funny how.
[00:43:54] Hold on. Hold on. Yeah. I just checked it is. What was that sound?
[00:43:59] It was the computer. It was the computer. That was a it was a typewriter. It was a computer.
[00:44:04] I was checking. All right. And it is. And actually I'm looking. I'm. Hold on.
[00:44:08] Enhance. Enhance. Adam Friedland just watched it according to Netflix.
[00:44:14] According to Netflix. The data is in there. The data is already locked in.
[00:44:22] The president is going to want to know about this. I got it in the back end through the
[00:44:26] yeah, through a backdoor through an HTML channel. Mr. President requesting permission.
[00:44:31] We're requesting permission to prove that Adam Friedland watch show girls.
[00:44:36] Show guys show guys.
[00:44:40] God damn it son. You got to ask me before you go. This isn't an executive permission situation.
[00:44:47] Defcon five. Defcon. We're moving to Defcon NORAD.
[00:44:54] Oh my god. We're moving to Defcon 17.
[00:44:57] We're in North. We're in watch level alpha. Yes.
[00:45:09] No, they have the they have the president hostage and the vice president is a Glenn close type.
[00:45:15] White bitch. No, come on Nick. Come on. Come on. Okay.
[00:45:20] The president is a Glenn close type. White bitch and they got to get the president back
[00:45:25] otherwise. There's going to be a white woman the first white woman president. Okay. And it
[00:45:29] starts us and we got to we got to save the president. He's the white. I thought you said
[00:45:35] she is the president. She's the vice president. They have like a short haircut white like kind
[00:45:40] of lesbian late 80s lesbian mom looking vice president. Yeah. Unless we do something
[00:45:47] there's going to be a white woman in charge. Unless we save the yeah. That's right. Yeah,
[00:45:51] that's actually pretty good. That's got legs. Thank you. Thank you. Because we don't want that.
[00:45:57] That's the last thing. That's the last thing.
[00:46:01] If only president's going to want to get fucked in his ass.
[00:46:05] Oh, sir. We did some studies at the museum and it seems
[00:46:14] somebody fucked you in your ass while you were asleep.
[00:46:17] We asked sir. We looked through and went to the museum. Yeah.
[00:46:22] Ah, the museum.
[00:46:29] What's your name son?
[00:46:30] Ah, sorry. Indiana Jones.
[00:46:33] Yeah, it seems somebody sucks.
[00:46:42] Right here.
[00:46:43] Take while you're asleep.
[00:46:48] It says it right here in this ancient swirl.
[00:46:51] The Nazis.
[00:46:53] Suck you off while you're.
[00:46:58] They call you an a such off.
[00:47:00] Oh, just a bit. It's just like the bunch of Nazi suck.
[00:47:08] Anybody want to tell me why Dr. Jones here is the first person to let me know.
[00:47:12] I got fucked in my ass while I was asleep.
[00:47:15] This is a cabinet. It's just silent.
[00:47:18] Well, I pay you people for.
[00:47:20] Oh, I'm not.
[00:47:26] That that that that that that I don't know whipping Nazis away from the president's cock.
[00:47:29] Hmm.
[00:47:31] It turns out the cabinet was in on it.
[00:47:32] Yeah, George Lucas and like the DVD commentary just being like,
[00:47:37] yeah, well, at this point, I had completely run out of ideas.
[00:47:43] But I was intrigued by the possibility of making even more money.
[00:47:47] So I considered a sort of a collaboration with Aaron Sorkin and Tom Clancy.
[00:47:59] I love that.
[00:48:00] It just shifts tones completely for like nine minutes.
[00:48:03] Yeah.
[00:48:03] And it's an Indiana Jones movie.
[00:48:10] Who the hell is this guy?
[00:48:11] Dude, I was I was looking like Boris Johnson was going to die there for a little bit.
[00:48:15] That would have been awesome.
[00:48:17] So funny.
[00:48:18] That would have been the funniest bit of all time.
[00:48:21] He would get a got.
[00:48:22] He would be the greatest the greatest of all time forever.
[00:48:26] Best bit better.
[00:48:27] Nothing.
[00:48:27] Andy everyone talks about Andy Kaufman being doing the best bits.
[00:48:31] No.
[00:48:31] Yeah.
[00:48:31] Boris Johnson dying of Corona.
[00:48:34] Die after after publicly bragging about going around hospitals shaking hands with people with Corona.
[00:48:40] Yeah.
[00:48:40] Mm hmm.
[00:48:40] So I just took that hat and still didn't matter.
[00:48:43] You think he's dead and they cloned him?
[00:48:45] Yeah.
[00:48:47] So I don't have that technology in England.
[00:48:49] Somebody's calling the Queen of England.
[00:48:53] The maid or with a smaller title.
[00:48:55] Messy.
[00:48:56] The mayor of the mayor.
[00:48:58] We got the CIA to come in and explain who the president of England is.
[00:49:04] I can never keep it straight.
[00:49:06] Which one are they got a president over there?
[00:49:08] Yeah.
[00:49:11] Yeah.
[00:49:12] Alec Baldwin is confused about that.
[00:49:15] Now slow down.
[00:49:16] You're telling me they got a queen over there?
[00:49:18] Have you seen executive decision?
[00:49:20] No.
[00:49:21] No.
[00:49:21] I might watch it again.
[00:49:23] I've seen it.
[00:49:23] It's very funny.
[00:49:24] I've seen it probably 19 times and I have no idea what the movie is about.
[00:49:30] It's just seen after seeing in the overall office and you know just fucking.
[00:49:35] I mean at one point they really do go.
[00:49:38] I forget which actor it is.
[00:49:40] Len Karrue maybe that's his I can't remember.
[00:49:43] But he like he's looking at it like a table of generals or something and he's like.
[00:49:49] Get the president on the phone.
[00:49:51] It's an executive decision now.
[00:49:54] Just put the camera.
[00:49:55] Right.
[00:49:56] Yeah.
[00:49:56] Whoo.
[00:49:56] Yeah.
[00:49:57] It's an executive decision.
[00:49:58] The name of the movie.
[00:50:00] Yeah.
[00:50:00] I love when they do that shit.
[00:50:01] Mm-hmm.
[00:50:02] It's very funny.
[00:50:03] Yeah.
[00:50:04] Yeah.
[00:50:05] Haven't seen that.
[00:50:07] I just watched a couple John Carpenter type things got big trouble and then I watched
[00:50:12] Escape From New York.
[00:50:13] That was fucking awesome.
[00:50:14] Escape From New York.
[00:50:14] Hell yeah.
[00:50:15] I watched that on 9-11 last year.
[00:50:17] The sequel is dog shit.
[00:50:19] Yeah.
[00:50:20] Escape From LA.
[00:50:21] Yeah.
[00:50:21] And I was confused.
[00:50:22] I was like because when Escape From New York was awesome.
[00:50:25] I was like why did the sequel suck dick?
[00:50:26] Uh huh.
[00:50:28] But it was the sequel just corny but the first one was awesome.
[00:50:30] The first one rules dude.
[00:50:31] Shots out of the earnest board nine dude.
[00:50:33] Yeah.
[00:50:34] Um.
[00:50:34] It was a little toothy grin.
[00:50:36] Christene.
[00:50:37] Christene is the best John Carpenter movie.
[00:50:42] Is there a lady with big ass tits in it?
[00:50:45] No.
[00:50:46] Because Escape From New York has that one lady.
[00:50:48] Yeah.
[00:50:49] For tits are awesome.
[00:50:50] Christine's good if you want to have sex with cars.
[00:50:53] I don't, unfortunately.
[00:50:54] Damn.
[00:50:56] What's Christine about?
[00:50:57] It's about a big dog.
[00:50:58] Yeah.
[00:50:58] It's about a big dog.
[00:51:00] A big red dog.
[00:51:01] Look.
[00:51:02] No, no, no, no.
[00:51:03] There's like a horror movie that's about a big dog.
[00:51:06] Um.
[00:51:07] Well I just, there's a, there's a movie called White Dog.
[00:51:10] Yeah.
[00:51:11] There's a white dog.
[00:51:12] And you're, but is that a Samuel Fuller movie White Dog?
[00:51:14] Yeah.
[00:51:15] It's a late Fuller movie.
[00:51:16] Yeah.
[00:51:17] Like 80s.
[00:51:17] Yeah.
[00:51:17] Yeah.
[00:51:18] Yeah.
[00:51:18] Yeah.
[00:51:18] But the uh.
[00:51:20] The best dude.
[00:51:20] Stop.
[00:51:21] You're thinking of uh Sandlot.
[00:51:23] No.
[00:51:24] Yeah.
[00:51:25] You're thinking of Hurricane Lee's with the big ass dog that's terrorizing.
[00:51:28] Yeah. Let's think, let's, let's list the movies you've seen.
[00:51:31] Hercules.
[00:51:32] That's one.
[00:51:33] He's seen her finding Nemo.
[00:51:34] Sandlot.
[00:51:35] Finding Nemo.
[00:51:36] I have seen those three.
[00:51:38] Yes.
[00:51:38] Um.
[00:51:39] Aladdin, John Wick's.
[00:51:42] I have seen John Wick two and three.
[00:51:45] I've seen the first one.
[00:51:46] No.
[00:51:46] I love that one.
[00:51:50] Out of all those.
[00:51:51] Uh, weapons one through three.
[00:51:52] 30 minutes of one of the Jurassic Park movies.
[00:51:56] That's pretty accurate.
[00:51:57] Yeah.
[00:51:59] I have not seen it.
[00:52:00] Jurassic Park.
[00:52:01] Oh, you know what?
[00:52:02] I saw the one with Chris Pratt.
[00:52:04] I saw all of that one.
[00:52:06] You saw it.
[00:52:06] Wait.
[00:52:07] It's obviously Princess Bride.
[00:52:11] What?
[00:52:11] I haven't seen Princess Bride.
[00:52:13] Stop and see.
[00:52:13] I've never seen Princess Bride.
[00:52:16] Hell yeah.
[00:52:17] Of course.
[00:52:18] Pretty good.
[00:52:18] Shut the fuck up, of course, bitch.
[00:52:20] That's, I'm sorry.
[00:52:21] I don't, I'm sorry I don't go to www dot what movies are fucking smart
[00:52:25] and we'll make people think I'm cultured dot com.
[00:52:27] Yes.
[00:52:28] And fucking look at every fucking one on the list.
[00:52:30] That's not a web struggle.
[00:52:32] Stop and pretend I'm enjoying them.
[00:52:33] It's true.
[00:52:34] I'm go, I'm watching shit I like.
[00:52:35] Not some fucking, that's not a website.
[00:52:38] But hold on.
[00:52:38] Hold on.
[00:52:39] The problem here, the problem here is like,
[00:52:41] stop.
[00:52:41] You also haven't seen 98% of the shit that you would like.
[00:52:45] Yeah.
[00:52:46] So the criticism is that you can say,
[00:52:48] all the watch movies that I enjoy.
[00:52:49] It's like, no, you've watched nothing.
[00:52:51] There's a, there's a million movies you think would think.
[00:52:54] Have you seen French connection?
[00:52:57] No, you would love it.
[00:52:58] You would love French connection.
[00:53:00] You should watch it this afternoon.
[00:53:02] Fuck.
[00:53:03] Maybe we'll get a little, maybe we'll do like a twitch or a zoom
[00:53:06] or something and rewatch French connection.
[00:53:08] I'll watch French connection.
[00:53:09] You know what?
[00:53:10] You should get into like a 70s like urban crime thing.
[00:53:14] That's huge.
[00:53:15] Love a lot of those.
[00:53:15] French French connection, Long Good Friday,
[00:53:19] Day of the Jackal.
[00:53:20] I can't find you on Amazon.
[00:53:20] Day of the Jackal secret partner, I think.
[00:53:24] It's an Altman movie with Elliot Gould,
[00:53:26] where he's like works at a bank
[00:53:27] and then he gets roped into this bank robbery.
[00:53:30] That movie rocks.
[00:53:32] Long Good Bye, you should watch also.
[00:53:34] That's where it starts.
[00:53:35] Stop said it and then I reiterated that it was good that he said it
[00:53:38] and now you're suggesting that he watches.
[00:53:41] You didn't listen.
[00:53:41] Wait, the long good bye?
[00:53:42] Oh, not the long good bye.
[00:53:43] Long Good Friday.
[00:53:45] No, the long good bye.
[00:53:46] The long good bye.
[00:53:47] I said 70s Altman and Elliot.
[00:53:50] The long good bye is not.
[00:53:51] It's not that genre.
[00:53:54] Well, no, I mean, it is, but I don't like it.
[00:53:57] I mean, everybody likes it.
[00:53:58] It's a it's a it's a neo no war.
[00:54:01] The problem with movies from the 70s is that
[00:54:03] they're too fucking slow.
[00:54:06] Not a lot of shit happens.
[00:54:07] No, it's not a true.
[00:54:09] Like 90.
[00:54:09] I like a lot of it.
[00:54:10] You ever see that?
[00:54:11] What is it?
[00:54:11] The Peter Boyle movie where he plays the
[00:54:15] he's like a guy that goes like crazy and kills him.
[00:54:17] It's like in the same vein as like Death Wish.
[00:54:19] It's a crazy Joe or something.
[00:54:23] I don't know.
[00:54:24] Here, let me see.
[00:54:24] The dad from Raymond.
[00:54:26] Yeah, I'm going to watch a bunch of John Carpenter movies now though,
[00:54:29] because I'm there's a movie with about a big ass dog though.
[00:54:33] They don't.
[00:54:34] I swear to God.
[00:54:36] They don't know.
[00:54:37] It's like a horror movie, God damn it.
[00:54:39] What's Christine about?
[00:54:41] It's a car.
[00:54:43] Is there a movie where someone's hiding from a dog in a car?
[00:54:46] Crazy, crazy Joe.
[00:54:48] Okay.
[00:54:48] That's another one.
[00:54:50] Mean Streets.
[00:54:51] I haven't seen since I was like 15.
[00:54:53] I fuck with Mean Streets.
[00:54:54] I like that.
[00:54:55] I don't know if that's good.
[00:54:56] Still, is it?
[00:54:57] Well, it's good in terms of like you get to just watch young De Niro.
[00:55:01] Yeah, like she's like, you can see how it all started.
[00:55:03] You watch your boys that you love figuring it out.
[00:55:06] That's true.
[00:55:06] And seeing yeah, seeing Marty like figure out how to use songs and scenes.
[00:55:10] And in Marty's in it, I think he shoots someone or gets shot.
[00:55:13] I love when he's in movies.
[00:55:16] I love the taxi driver so sick.
[00:55:18] Yeah, what are other?
[00:55:20] Seven movies.
[00:55:21] Stop should watch.
[00:55:21] Yeah, but there's like there's like two or three that I'm missing.
[00:55:25] I like revenge.
[00:55:25] I like guns.
[00:55:26] There are 70s, 70s urban crime movies.
[00:55:29] I mean, you should watch all the death wish movies.
[00:55:31] Death wish movies.
[00:55:32] Yeah, I've seen death wish movies.
[00:55:33] Um, what?
[00:55:35] This is something.
[00:55:36] Let me see your penis.
[00:55:37] There's something I'm missing.
[00:55:38] That's like, I know was like,
[00:55:41] Yeah, I don't know.
[00:55:42] How about just French?
[00:55:43] No, it's French connection.
[00:55:44] French connection and day of the Jackal for sure though.
[00:55:46] You know, someone in the chat, a bunch of people are saying a bunch of movies
[00:55:50] and we'll never know what they are.
[00:55:52] What do you mean?
[00:55:53] Oh, yeah, they're probably freaking out.
[00:55:54] They're going crazy.
[00:55:55] These idiots.
[00:55:57] We'll never know.
[00:55:57] We'll never know what they are, bitch.
[00:56:00] Stop.
[00:56:01] I watch this.
[00:56:06] Stop.
[00:56:06] I watch this movie.
[00:56:07] I text this right about it.
[00:56:09] St. Jack, it's on Amazon.
[00:56:11] It's Ben Gazares is a pimp in Singapore.
[00:56:14] It's from the
[00:55:55] Trips Dine.
[00:55:56] Oh, I will never know.
[00:55:57] I will never know what they are, bitch.
[00:55:59] Can you, uh, stop.
[00:56:01] I watch this.
[00:56:06] I watch this movie.
[00:56:07] I text this right about it.
[00:56:09] St. Jack, it's on Amazon.
[00:56:11] It's Ben Gazares is a pimp in Singapore.
[00:56:14] It's from The Inca Trypton.
[00:56:15] It's great.
[00:56:17] Oh, hell yeah.
[00:56:17] She did take that.
[00:56:18] You fucking snitch.
[00:56:20] Lioness.
[00:56:21] Rotten hell you fucking whore I
[00:56:24] Pemonica bro. She's been reincarnated as
[00:56:28] As the boat that stops married to no, then I'm out that it's not my wife anymore
[00:56:33] I want a divorce for the boat. Yeah
[00:56:36] Here I am. I'm I'm docking in the harbor
[00:56:40] She's one of the most busted bitches. I'm docking in the harbor to save everybody with her heart. What she's a dumb
[00:56:46] She's ugly from the inside out from the inside out, bro
[00:56:49] She made it she ruined a 20 year old girls life. Yes, sir
[00:56:53] And you know in hindsight
[00:56:56] She was the upper limit of what Bill Clinton wanted to fuck because you fuck kids
[00:57:01] Yeah, Bill Clinton fucked some dogs
[00:57:04] Mm-hmm. That's the funniest part about his shit is that he's going around raping and like cheating on his wife with just absolute
[00:57:10] 3s and 4s he loved yeah, he
[00:57:14] You're the president
[00:57:16] Yeah, imagine
[00:57:18] Just being a kid you fuck Marilyn Monroe. No, it was probably he was probably like just the going wild fucking kids
[00:57:25] You know you're like Bill we need some cover for this you're gonna have to fuck a couple of adults ugly bitches
[00:57:30] I guess I'll guess I'll just pretend to be in the trash pussy even tell who's a hot adult
[00:57:35] I'm gonna pretend to be in the trash pussy
[00:57:44] As it's my covers gonna be that I love that I can't stop I can't stop raping the trash is pussy. I've ever seen
[00:57:54] Hillary I'm sorry
[00:57:56] But I'm just addicted to trash pussy wink wink I
[00:58:00] I I know that bill. Yeah, fucking big
[00:58:06] Damn dude. Yeah French connections good. You know you should also watch is uh, but I've been meaning to rewatch it
[00:58:12] So you ever see the last detail
[00:58:14] all those like
[00:58:16] Early 70s Jack Nicholson movies are great with the exception of easy right which sucks I
[00:58:22] Want to watch a very nigg we try to watch me try it me and Adam tried watching easy writer and it's fucking awful
[00:58:27] It's so bad. It's fuck. It's it's dog shit
[00:58:33] The only cool part is that Phil Specter has that weird cameo is a drug dealer at the airport besides that it sucks
[00:58:39] What do you feel expected to do he killed and raped?
[00:58:41] He did he killed he killed yeah, he started living in an all nocturnal life in a castle all alone
[00:58:49] He went crazy and he killed I think she was a waitress or I don't know
[00:58:52] But yeah King of Marvin Gardens carnivores
[00:58:57] I have five five easy pieces
[00:59:00] Last detail five easy penis. Yeah five easy penis last detail
[00:59:05] I guess you could throw terms of endearment in there. You would love terms of endearment and
[00:59:10] The shining it's in terms of a deer man breast cancer. Yeah, it's like a very yeah, I don't want to see a single
[00:59:25] We're titties are under assault
[00:59:28] Turns that dude is just that terms of endearment is a great movie. I know if you like up your love terms of endearment
[00:59:34] No, I terms of endearment terms of endearment is up for adults. I
[00:59:38] Don't want that I want up for children
[00:59:43] That's what you did that's what you're being sad that's where you're dead. That's where you're dead
[00:59:48] That's good. That's good. Thank you knock that one out of the park without even really foolish on a check swing. Yep
[01:00:01] Yeah, I want to watch
[01:00:03] More John I want to watch the thing next probably yeah, the thing you know what I said Christine's the best carpenter movie
[01:00:09] And I probably the thing is the best John carpenter movie
[01:00:12] Yeah, but I swear to God there is so what's Christina about you're in a car some guys that is a haunted car
[01:00:17] I that's like a high school kid and he's a loser and then he and he the actor looks exactly like Sean Gabbard by the way
[01:00:25] Which is weird and especially old Sean Gabbard the one we like 15 years ago
[01:00:31] Oh, man, somebody's got wrong. Oh shit. You don't want to be right back. You guys talk like my deliveries are here
[01:00:41] I wonder what Nick's getting I wonder how many how many baby dick condoms the only to be used for gate sex
[01:00:48] He got did you see that guy the Amazon warehouse being like a dildo is not an essential item
[01:00:55] That guy, right? That guy rules. Yeah, yeah
[01:00:57] That guy should replace Bernie as the leading voice of the left. I would I would vote for him before AOC. Oh
[01:01:05] Yeah, I don't know before AOC. Yeah, I
[01:01:08] Don't know. Oh, that's your Congress woman. I guess my girl dude. Yeah, that's Queens dude
[01:01:14] Well, I just I'm just pissing her because she stopped campaigning for Bernie because Joe Rogan endorsed him
[01:01:20] Which is true? Yeah, it's the weakest shit. I've ever heard that sucks. Fuck her dude
[01:01:25] That's fucking little dickery calm if you ask me Joe Rogan is like a I think
[01:01:31] You know on on the whole a pretty good rocks. Yeah, I think he's a good guy
[01:01:37] Yeah, he's got dumbass friends, but he's a chill bro. He's a chill blow. Are you talking about chill ass?
[01:01:43] Arthur Morgan brother of the pod Joe Rogan. Oh Joe Rogan experience. Yeah, he's voting for Trump
[01:01:49] I guess we're all gonna vote for Trump now like Joe Rogan
[01:01:51] Yeah, if you if Rogan tells me to do it. I'm gonna do yeah, I'm wearing my hat dude run for Trump
[01:01:57] Black hat black hat that's this the new me now. I'm gonna vote in I'm gonna vote for Ralph Nader dude
[01:02:04] Old is he dead is he alive? Yeah, it's a lot of duties kicking. That's good for him dude
[01:02:10] I feel he's been old as shit forever
[01:02:12] He invented what's going on in the minds of like Democrats
[01:02:16] Like do they think that Joe Biden's become president? I
[01:02:23] Actually think that that's gonna happen the way they thought impeachment was gonna work
[01:02:27] They think this shit's gonna work. They think it's just it's gonna be easy. Yeah, the hubris
[01:02:32] But I mean like do you want the fucker can't even talk I know he can't talk bro
[01:02:37] They got his wife holding his fucking hand when he's on doing live streams
[01:02:41] Mm-hmm. She's probably telling him what to say with Morse code or some fucking shit. Yeah, he's he's fucking brain is mush
[01:02:46] Trump is gonna wash him at the debate. Yeah, and he's gonna call him a rapist
[01:02:50] That's gonna be honestly that's the only that's the only call him a rapist
[01:02:53] Yeah, and Joe won't call him one back the old one will mention that Trump is raped
[01:02:58] Silver lining is the debate. I'm already like fast forward. I'm already fast forwarding to like 2024
[01:03:04] When Democrats are like there's a term limit. He can't be president again, and then it's like then it's 2027
[01:03:11] And it's like no, we're gonna do it
[01:03:14] We're gonna get those term limits removed or onion or put back in place
[01:03:18] They promise us if we supported this congressional this constitutional amendment that they would give us a ceremonial statue for John McCain
[01:03:26] Right, and I think that's fit that was a fair trade-on
[01:03:28] And we're gonna win the fairway this time. Yeah, we're flocked. Yeah, absolutely
[01:03:33] No, we'd pass a law that said that any black people that make 20 less than $20,000 a year legally allowed to be sold back into slavery
[01:03:40] To work directly for Jeff Bezos and in exchange
[01:03:46] And in exchange they renamed the post office after the first trans woman to go to jail for rape
[01:03:55] And that's that's what the Democratic Party
[01:03:59] It's a fair trade it's a fair trade. That's called the
[01:04:03] It's called I would love to see go ahead. Sorry. No, it's all right
[01:04:06] So what would you love to see sorry I would you that's I feel bad because you you had the button on that
[01:04:13] And I'm just gonna say fat factual not funny thing
[01:04:15] I know but
[01:04:17] It would be funny to see if like any of these pundits will if Trump literally tries to have a third term
[01:04:23] If they'll be if they'll try and stop it at all. Yeah, or if they'll just be like that's no
[01:04:27] They'll say they'll like they'll cry about it, but it doesn't mean that's useful
[01:04:32] Yeah, dude, it's this is good. This is fucking I mean it's yet to be seen how long this thing goes on
[01:04:41] Rona. Yeah, right. I think the public opinion is turning on the government response and it has to yeah
[01:04:50] What do you apparently the the government knew about it in November and they didn't do shit
[01:04:57] Well, you know, I don't know
[01:04:59] I mean all the people that are saying like this Trump was pulling at like 65%
[01:05:03] Approval rating for how he's handled the crisis when that 1200 was supposed to drop in direct deposit
[01:05:07] And then everybody realized it's like tax credit or some shit. No, we get we it's taxed the 1200. Yeah hilarious
[01:05:14] Where's my 12 dude? I'm trying to get one of those small business loans
[01:05:19] Nice for PlayStation five. Yeah, I'm gonna use it for hairplugs my business is my appearance dude
[01:05:33] I'm an entertainer that's small business loan for hair plugs. Yeah
[01:05:36] And a cock extension surgery, yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna invest in some non-disclosure agreements that I should have had
[01:05:50] That's good man, you should have those fucking ready to go. Yep
[01:05:54] By DMing Adam Friedland you agree to never tell anyone
[01:05:57] Anything it should be an auto-vote. Oh, you should have it you should have it incorporated to your website. Yeah, just like an auto reply
[01:06:10] I thought I was gonna be done with the pot. I got a I got an email from a soap company
[01:06:14] See if I wanted to be a influencer
[01:06:18] It'd be funny if there was a soap
[01:06:21] 10 bars of soap
[01:06:23] For three swipe up Instagram stories it'd be it'd be funny if there was like soap companies and like candle companies and lampshade companies
[01:06:31] Now they're like well the world's ending they're like let's get ahead of the game and just contact Jews and see if they want to be sold into soap
[01:06:40] We'll give you twenty thousand dollars you got a year you have a year
[01:06:45] Front you have a year before we before we holocaust you and turn you into soap you're gonna be holocaust in anyways
[01:06:51] Most likely the world the world is gonna end so you it would be funny to see just try that just email them
[01:06:58] Give them the option. They're like odds are
[01:07:01] Where there's gonna be another holocaust, right?
[01:07:04] We're just within within the next three or four years
[01:07:07] So we'll give you the option now to be holocausted by us for a cash advance and exchange
[01:07:14] We get to be the ones to genocide. That's not a that's not a deal of Jew takes and turns you turn you into a man shakes
[01:07:21] Why that's you that owns that company to a Jew definitely. Oh Jew owns a company for sure
[01:07:32] That's definitely a great idea, right? We're gonna
[01:07:36] We're gonna sell that we're gonna work definitely definitely definitely definitely gonna do a holocaust for money definitely
[01:07:41] Ray are you telling me you're selling out your fellow Jews and retards is a business idea?
[01:07:46] That's yet. That's that's the plan. That's a point Charlie
[01:07:50] That's the plan. That's definitely a plan Charlie
[01:07:58] So what's his name?
[01:07:59] Subban some yeah, I am
[01:08:02] Subban. Oh, he's an either. No, no, what's the character? Well the character's rain man, but he's an idiot. Subban
[01:08:08] I was trying to remember
[01:08:15] Damn today, baby Wednesday wing night you can wings you have like fun little theme nights at the house
[01:08:21] It's the only it's the only thing that marks the passage of time
[01:08:24] Wednesdays when you do you have food that's bad for you word? Yeah? Yeah
[01:08:31] Well, we have to support local business
[01:08:33] We're going to stop with business Passover boys wing stop wing stops disgusting
[01:08:39] No
[01:08:40] Wing stops good. It used to be good, but maybe you know what? It's probably in another case of like going to fast food city. Yeah
[01:08:48] Yeah, New York City fast food always takes a dive for sure. Yeah
[01:08:52] Although the winning Queen is pretty good wing sobbing Queens
[01:08:55] The one by me, but I'm not going to wings up. I'm going to a local bar to support local business
[01:09:00] Oh, you're going out you're leaving you're breaking quarantine to go to a bar. I will not be we will be delivering
[01:09:05] We will be but we will be supporting local business damn. I would love some wings
[01:09:09] Yeah, I've been I've been dieting pretty hard. Oh
[01:09:13] I am gonna die. Yeah, it's crazy cuz you know, I'm like doing homework out
[01:09:18] So I have to do like more kind of like cardio oriented shit rather than just lifting weights
[01:09:24] Yeah, and it's crazy how fucking out of shape you can get oh
[01:09:30] Dude, I'm gonna die it comes back, but I'm just like this shit is kicking my ass
[01:09:34] I fucking work out for like 30 minutes a day. I get my heart rate pretty high
[01:09:39] But afterwards, it's like my eyes are throbbing and I have to throw up
[01:09:45] Yeah, I've been doing yoga every morning and just like stretching I'm breathing heavily, dude
[01:09:50] Yeah, just like getting into a real stance and just like fucking putting all the weight in the leg and shit
[01:09:54] Yeah, I was I can't I can't believe the little working because I was hilariously going to the gym a lot
[01:10:00] Mm-hmm, and it was just to maintain how fat I was yeah
[01:10:03] Like the second you take that away. I I'm getting fatter and more out of shape
[01:10:07] Yeah, I mean, you know, you really should especially because it's gonna be a repeat of like when your foot was fucked up
[01:10:13] You're just home, you know, yeah, you're forced to stay home
[01:10:16] Once I'm not scared to go outside because I am right now. I'm the paranoia is hit me big time
[01:10:21] Yeah, I'll start doing a little fucking I was doing walks and little fucking
[01:10:26] Shit like that outside like taking a fucking hour long walk every day, but I'm fucking scared
[01:10:30] I'm gonna just what can you get like a fucking elliptical or something?
[01:10:34] I'm asking gloves. I have a little bike that I ride. Yeah, just do that then
[01:10:40] But it hurts my knees. It's a fucked up shitty bike
[01:10:42] You should get like a you should get a Fitbit or an Apple watch or something or just like a heart rate monitor at least
[01:10:48] And then try to get here try to get your heart rate up for like 20 minutes a day
[01:10:52] Yeah, yeah, that's true into the what they call the danger zone. That's what the
[01:10:57] This is the doctors recommend this people with pre-existing conditions elevate their heart rate into the danger zone
[01:11:04] Because that's when fat when fat is in danger
[01:11:06] Oh liquefies have been yeah being burned up. Yeah
[01:11:12] Going into your heart. Mm-hmm. I love I love you
[01:11:15] I just like elliptical machines and treadmills that have like the fat
[01:11:19] Liquifier option or whatever and it's just for like
[01:11:22] Fat people that have been tricked in the fat people to use that setting once ever in their life
[01:11:27] They're like wow, I burned 15 calories. I'm doing a fat burning work out
[01:11:32] Yeah, I went to the elliptical I did the elliptical I did a fat burning workout. Yeah
[01:11:38] I've been doing the fat burning setting on the elliptical
[01:11:41] Just how far we are elliptical. Yeah, how far away?
[01:11:45] They're too big though for your fucking house like good ones. Yeah, I mean I just do burpees
[01:11:49] I mean I do like a circuit kind of thing, but burpees will fuck your shit up
[01:11:54] Yeah, yeah, yeah, it does like crop the crossfit kind of burpees where you have to go all the way down and then jump up at the end
[01:12:01] Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, I'm gonna put a hole through my fucking third third floor fucking apartment
[01:12:07] Yeah, I was doing some jumping jacks. I was just like doo doo. Yeah, mm-hmm, but maybe I'll go to the basement
[01:12:14] Go to the laundry room. Oh, the workout room get some get some pussy down there
[01:12:18] Yeah, I want to get you should try if you can do burpees that I fucking up your joints
[01:12:23] I mean it would probably be hard on your wrists and elbows and shit. Yeah, well
[01:12:27] Oh, yeah, yeah, I mean it would fuck all your shit up, but there they're like they're they're really good for
[01:12:34] Go get your heart rate up quick and then yeah because you have like an idea of how many you need to do in your head
[01:12:40] It's not like fucking staring at like a treadmill counter just waiting for 20 minutes. Yeah. Yeah, so it makes it easier to like
[01:12:48] Just look how good my titties are get coming in nice. Yeah, and you've shaved part of them. That's cool
[01:12:53] That's a good look no this is how my body here looks. I don't know what to tell you. Yeah
[01:13:07] Getting a man's pussy all right. I've just been doing mad pull-ups and push-ups. Yeah, but you you weigh 10 pounds in your week
[01:13:15] So what am I supposed to do? I can't
[01:13:17] Dude I'm cutting and then bulking I'm just discouraging you I'm bulking right now
[01:13:23] That's my thing bulking and then cut when you cut
[01:13:28] Yes, I was bulking Adam you should turn you should get rid of all those books and turn your net room into like a home gym
[01:13:35] I have an elliptical here, and then I have like a pull-up bar. I've considered getting a squat rack for my apartment
[01:13:45] You just should we catch up with squat rack. I mean I could put in my office
[01:13:49] I could put it right fucking here. I could put it next to this thing. It's just I would I would barely have room
[01:13:54] I mean this room is only like
[01:13:57] Yes, yeah seven feet wide maybe I don't know if there would be room to put a barbell in here or not
[01:14:03] I don't know how your bedroom. I don't know how long a barbell is but that seems like it's pushing it
[01:14:09] Yeah
[01:14:11] Yeah
[01:14:13] Having like a bench a bench and a squat rack in the apartment
[01:14:17] And then but of course what would happen is the quarantine ends the next day and then I'm just a fucking retard with
[01:14:24] Like a home gym
[01:14:26] Yeah, yeah, probably although you know what man don't act like he would be mad about that
[01:14:30] Well, I would because it's like you can't drop the weight
[01:14:34] Do resistance bands work?
[01:14:36] I don't know we're seeing got him and they seem like bullshit. I mean like they're they seem like bullshit
[01:14:40] They they make sense if you like add them to a barbell, but because it's like they're self regulating so
[01:14:48] Like if you're lazy, you're not looking on like push yourself
[01:14:50] Anyways, and what the fuck good is a resistance band? It's depending on like where you hold it
[01:14:56] Changes the level of resistance
[01:14:58] You could yeah, I would like to do one
[01:15:02] To fucking get your stroke up. Mm-hmm. You put one around your waist while you fucking
[01:15:06] Air hump. Yeah, that's the other thing dude. My put my fucking skills are gonna complete the tear rate. Mm-hmm
[01:15:14] I'm gonna be so out of shit. Yeah, man. You you were like you were so good at fucking before that
[01:15:18] So good put yeah, I was fucking world renowned bro, but
[01:15:24] Pussy eating for sure is gonna be an issue dude because I was getting I was trying to get like the fucking finger popping move
[01:15:31] I'm trying to figure that out like really get my what at home alone during the party
[01:15:35] No, just eating pussy a lot really getting in there, but now it's like I haven't eaten pussy
[01:15:40] I won't have eaten pussy in months. Oh dude. It's like riding a bike. You'll know but you're strength
[01:15:45] I have a bad shoulder. He doesn't know how to get that. He can't ride a bike either
[01:15:49] I can ride a bike. Thank you very much. It's like riding a bike eventually you'll lose the ability to do it because you're too fat
[01:15:54] Yeah, eventually you'll need a motorized version of it to get around just like riding a bike
[01:16:09] All right anyway fuck all right boys all right happy Passover. Oh, yeah, dude
[01:16:14] Happy when your mother fuckers. This is when you mother fuckers started your treachery. Maybe we can do it
[01:16:20] Oh because you're pro egypt
[01:16:22] Huh, you're pro phera. No, why did fucking why did Jesus come into fucking?
[01:16:28] Uh, Jerusalem. What was he coming in for?
[01:16:31] Pussy Passover? Yeah, I don't know
[01:16:35] Or something. I wasn't there dude. I didn't see it
[01:16:38] It's definitely that's why it's all around the same time
[01:16:41] You just threw in Passover? Yeah, dude because he comes in because he's a Jew and he's celebrating Passover
[01:16:47] And then you guys got mad he was getting more fucking burned than you everyone was
[01:16:50] I was like this guy had rocks and then this guy so much better than the old Jews
[01:16:54] And then the Romans independently decided without any influence to yeah, right?
[01:16:58] Crucify
[01:16:59] Yeah, right dude ponchus pilot was nothing but fucking he was panochio and you motherfuckers were japato
[01:17:05] Yeah, because definitely they were listening to jose back
[01:17:10] But so much that's when they want you think jose
[01:17:13] They've wrote it back. They've gone in and wrote it back
[01:17:16] Anyway, we don't have to get into all this apology
[01:17:18] All this history. I miss you guys. Maybe we do a zoom birthday party
[01:17:25] It's birthdays
[01:17:27] Oh, yeah, but makes December minds in february. Yeah, no vision birthday is coming up. All right later. All right. See you guys later