[00:00:00] I am recording and having sex.

[00:00:06] OK, I'm recording.

[00:00:08] Nice.

[00:00:09] And we're recording.

[00:00:11] Nick, how many burpees can you do?

[00:00:13] What do you mean, how many?

[00:00:15] Do you do sets?

[00:00:16] No, I mean, I just do.

[00:00:17] You do them like continuously.

[00:00:20] Do you do for like five minutes and then rest

[00:00:21] and then five minutes or whatever?

[00:00:23] You got to turn your mic down.

[00:00:25] Yeah, we can hear.

[00:00:27] Hello?

[00:00:27] You're way too loud.

[00:00:30] Your headphones, bitch.

[00:00:33] I think we can hear.

[00:00:34] Can you hear his echo too?

[00:00:36] Or is that coming from you, Nick?

[00:00:37] No, it's not going to be for me.

[00:00:41] Oh, I cannot get hard.

[00:00:44] Check, is that quieter?

[00:00:47] Today, yeah, there's the echo again.

[00:00:50] Maybe it is a little bit now.

[00:00:52] Yeah, it's gone.

[00:00:54] Whoops, like it's there.

[00:00:55] But it's very faint.

[00:00:56] It's not like the other echo shit.

[00:00:58] It's like, yeah, no, it should be fine though.

[00:00:59] I hear from somebody's headphones, I think.

[00:01:03] No, it should be fine though.

[00:01:05] Noise.

[00:01:06] Yeah.

[00:01:10] Yeah, I do.

[00:01:11] You just keep doing them.

[00:01:13] There's no like opera.

[00:01:14] You just keep doing them into your exhaust.

[00:01:16] Yeah, how many jumping jacks can you do?

[00:01:18] I have no fucking idea.

[00:01:19] Well, you could do sets of burpees.

[00:01:21] You could do like 20, like five sets of 20 or something, right?

[00:01:24] Are you about to be a burpees guy, Adam?

[00:01:26] I have been for a couple of days.

[00:01:28] Yeah, I mean, for a while, I was doing like for time,

[00:01:31] like 100 burpees.

[00:01:33] Damn, I look cute, dude.

[00:01:34] The light is nice.

[00:01:38] I guess I should announce it publicly

[00:01:41] so people understand why I'm salty.

[00:01:44] I don't know what.

[00:01:45] I lost my car keys.

[00:01:46] Then I lost my car keys and I never locked my fucking car.

[00:01:49] And the one time I locked my car,

[00:01:51] the car keys are just fucking gone.

[00:01:54] Yeah.

[00:01:55] Yeah.

[00:01:55] That's brutal brother outside here.

[00:01:56] Sucks.

[00:01:57] It fucking sucks.

[00:01:59] I lose shit like that all the time.

[00:02:01] I never lose anything.

[00:02:02] I don't lose shit.

[00:02:04] So this is why this is like fucking driving me nuts.

[00:02:08] Welcome.

[00:02:09] It doesn't make any fucking sense, dude.

[00:02:11] And I know what am I gonna do?

[00:02:12] Just get fucking angry.

[00:02:15] Yeah, you just get angry.

[00:02:17] You're just gonna be angry for like a whole day.

[00:02:19] And then you're gonna be like, dude, I'm just fine.

[00:02:21] It doesn't even, who cares?

[00:02:22] I'm getting angry.

[00:02:23] I'm gonna get fucking angry.

[00:02:25] Something like losing car keys is literally worse

[00:02:28] than like a breakup or something.

[00:02:31] You know what I mean?

[00:02:32] Yeah.

[00:02:32] Cause then it's like,

[00:02:33] there's a more visceral annoyance about it.

[00:02:35] Right, because it's like, you know,

[00:02:37] I like I can't be like, well, you know, I mean,

[00:02:40] me and the car keys tried.

[00:02:43] Like I did everything I could to keep those fucking keys.

[00:02:46] And I'm not gonna feel bad about myself

[00:02:49] because it's just like, it doesn't make any fucking sense.

[00:02:52] Yeah, the keys were a down bitch, dude.

[00:02:55] Always there for you and you fucked it up.

[00:02:57] Yeah.

[00:02:58] You cheated on the keys.

[00:02:59] It doesn't make any sense.

[00:03:01] They're in the bottom of my wallet.

[00:03:04] I still have every, they're in the bottom of my fucking pocket.

[00:03:07] I know.

[00:03:07] It sucks.

[00:03:08] It's horrible.

[00:03:09] Ah!

[00:03:13] Fuck!

[00:03:14] Yeah.

[00:03:15] Maybe they're down a storm drain, dude.

[00:03:16] That's, it has to be that.

[00:03:18] Because I've retraced my steps.

[00:03:20] It has to be that they somehow came out of the bottom

[00:03:23] of my pocket and went into a fucking storm drain.

[00:03:26] And they should have a service where you can hire someone

[00:03:29] to and you beat them to death.

[00:03:31] Yeah, if they don't count them.

[00:03:32] If you're bare hands to deal with things like this.

[00:03:37] I guess that's what being like a cruel slave owner was.

[00:03:41] Yeah, essentially.

[00:03:43] Yeah, you could break and beat them to death.

[00:03:45] I don't know where my cummerbund is.

[00:03:47] That's my best fucking cummerbund.

[00:03:49] Like, Jeremiah, where are you going?

[00:03:53] Not again.

[00:03:55] The $30,000 apiece.

[00:03:59] It's just a cummerbund.

[00:04:02] It's not about the principle.

[00:04:04] It's not about the cummerbund.

[00:04:05] It's not about, look.

[00:04:07] I don't want them thinking that I can lose stuff and no one dies.

[00:04:10] Can you just have some empathy for me, please?

[00:04:15] I'm in a tough place.

[00:04:17] Yeah, dude.

[00:04:19] You think you could beat a man to death with your bare hands?

[00:04:22] Depends what state the man is in.

[00:04:26] OK.

[00:04:27] Let's say another stronger man has knocked him woozy.

[00:04:33] And you've been fighting by Israeli army rules,

[00:04:37] krav maga cheating, scratches,

[00:04:40] scratches, through-stew jacks, female style.

[00:04:43] Eyepoke spitting, begging, begging,

[00:04:47] begging, surrendering, and then being

[00:04:50] like and then punch them in the cock, surrendering.

[00:04:52] I'm saying that.

[00:04:53] Exactly.

[00:04:55] No honor.

[00:04:56] If you have no honor, then you could be a man stronger than you.

[00:05:01] Just like, mop, mop, mop.

[00:05:04] I feel like it would hurt to beat someone to death.

[00:05:06] You're just your hands.

[00:05:07] Yeah.

[00:05:08] Let alone feeling their life leaving their body

[00:05:11] would feel bad for me.

[00:05:14] I wonder if I could strangle.

[00:05:17] How long does that take?

[00:05:18] Like two minutes?

[00:05:20] You could strangle.

[00:05:21] Nick could do it with his grip strength training.

[00:05:23] That's true.

[00:05:24] Nick has been straining the strangle.

[00:05:25] I just want my car keys back.

[00:05:29] They're gone, dude.

[00:05:30] I just want them back.

[00:05:31] Make peace.

[00:05:31] Make peace.

[00:05:32] You didn't.

[00:05:33] I tried that car.

[00:05:33] You didn't leave them in the car.

[00:05:34] No idea.

[00:05:35] You need to be like a Prince of Persia

[00:05:37] to get into a fucking car with that coat hanger.

[00:05:40] Look at you looking up online.

[00:05:42] A wiki how is just some anime guy that

[00:05:44] did one shot gets it.

[00:05:46] No way.

[00:05:47] If that anime guy was real, not happening.

[00:05:49] No, dude.

[00:05:50] Fuck that anime guy.

[00:05:51] Serbian guy in a track suit.

[00:05:53] Maybe he can do it, but.

[00:05:54] Absolutely.

[00:05:55] Fuck.

[00:05:55] I look up YouTube videos to try.

[00:05:57] I tried to fucking break into my apartment's coin laundry

[00:06:02] because I wanted to do laundry for free.

[00:06:04] And I couldn't do it.

[00:06:07] I really, something about me feels like I could do that.

[00:06:09] When I was a teenager, I got into a couple of different vending

[00:06:12] machines.

[00:06:13] Really?

[00:06:14] Yeah.

[00:06:15] Ooh, that's awesome.

[00:06:16] Yeah.

[00:06:17] There was one.

[00:06:18] There used to be Pepsi machines that I used to be able to just

[00:06:21] reach up in and pull.

[00:06:23] You just have to snake your hand around the flap.

[00:06:25] And you can get in the back and pull one out.

[00:06:27] And then there was another one I remember being

[00:06:31] able to use one of the twist things for like blinds.

[00:06:37] Yeah, sure.

[00:06:38] And I threw like an empty bolt hole in the top to just like push

[00:06:42] fucking it was with the pigtail ones, like the coarse

[00:06:45] and so you could just you could rake it in there and just

[00:06:47] push fucking snacks out into the bin.

[00:06:51] That's huge.

[00:06:52] Where were these?

[00:06:53] Where were these machines?

[00:06:55] It's at a grocery store.

[00:06:57] That is.

[00:06:57] And I worked that.

[00:06:58] Yeah.

[00:06:59] At work.

[00:07:01] Yeah.

[00:07:02] You could probably ease much more easily stolen snacks

[00:07:05] from that grocery store.

[00:07:06] I'm aware why I wouldn't.

[00:07:08] That's what I ended up getting fired for is for steel.

[00:07:11] But it just sounded like one of the cool words.

[00:07:14] Yeah, dude.

[00:07:15] It's hard not to steal from grocery stores now.

[00:07:18] Just a little fucking snack.

[00:07:20] And by the way, you should be allowed to steal whatever

[00:07:23] you want while you're shopping if you're going to shop later.

[00:07:25] From that's my process.

[00:07:27] Yeah.

[00:07:27] Oh, I mean, you know, like the Whole Foods stealing section.

[00:07:32] Yeah, dude.

[00:07:33] Absolutely.

[00:07:33] It's part of the store.

[00:07:35] Yeah.

[00:07:35] My favorite thing is the olive, the free olive area.

[00:07:39] Oh, the nuts.

[00:07:39] I love getting all of the fuck it.

[00:07:42] I get, first of all, I'm always getting some of those little

[00:07:44] fucking Parmesan.

[00:07:45] What are they like Parmesan garlic cashews?

[00:07:48] Yeah.

[00:07:48] Or garlic salt.

[00:07:49] I don't know.

[00:07:50] They're fucking hot.

[00:07:50] I'm going for a dried mango slice.

[00:07:53] Oh, maybe every time.

[00:07:55] Easy money.

[00:07:56] Or the hot bar, go through, get stuff a little piece

[00:07:58] of fried fish.

[00:07:59] Have a wing.

[00:08:00] How the fuck do you have?

[00:08:01] Have one wing.

[00:08:02] Have a wonton.

[00:08:05] How do you get into a fucking car?

[00:08:07] Yeah.

[00:08:07] I mean, there's no way to do it.

[00:08:09] I'm looking at a picture now.

[00:08:11] It doesn't even make any sense.

[00:08:12] Look, here's the interior of the car door.

[00:08:17] I wish you could just pass.

[00:08:18] Are the tire, is the tire shop around the corner still open?

[00:08:22] That's a tire shop.

[00:08:22] It's not a locksmith.

[00:08:24] Yeah, but they know cars.

[00:08:25] It's car related.

[00:08:26] Do me a favor?

[00:08:27] No.

[00:08:28] OK, I'm sorry.

[00:08:29] I'm sorry.

[00:08:29] No, I knew.

[00:08:30] As they came out of my mouth, I knew you wouldn't like that.

[00:08:32] Do not offer me even the slightest bit of advice.

[00:08:37] How about anything where we'll be this issue?

[00:08:39] I'll give you sympathy.

[00:08:40] That's the most fucking annoying thing.

[00:08:41] You lose something.

[00:08:42] And people are like, have you tried looking for it?

[00:08:46] Have you tried thinking about where it might be?

[00:08:49] Yeah.

[00:08:49] Have you retraced your steps?

[00:08:52] I'm going to kill you.

[00:08:54] I'm going to fucking kill you.

[00:08:56] It's like, did you find it?

[00:08:57] Yeah, I found it.

[00:08:58] That's why I fucking threw my fucking TV down the stairs.

[00:09:01] Because I found my keys.

[00:09:02] That's why there's 35 holes in the drywall.

[00:09:05] Like, as you-

[00:09:06] That's why my wife is bleeding.

[00:09:07] Maybe you went somewhere and you could ask them if they saw it.

[00:09:14] There is never anything good anyone can say.

[00:09:17] But if they look, I appreciate that.

[00:09:19] Yeah.

[00:09:20] That's what I want.

[00:09:21] Don't say shit to me.

[00:09:22] Don't say fucking thing.

[00:09:22] You do the work I am too pissed to do.

[00:09:25] Yeah.

[00:09:26] You got no.

[00:09:26] All you should ever say is, that fucking sucks.

[00:09:30] That sucks.

[00:09:31] It does really suck.

[00:09:31] That's fucking, yeah.

[00:09:32] That's the worst.

[00:09:33] And then just make- even make a cavalier attempt at looking.

[00:09:35] Just look around the room for one second.

[00:09:37] Yeah.

[00:09:37] I appreciate that so much more than any verbal piece of fucking advice.

[00:09:41] Yeah.

[00:09:42] And then you go ahead and you retrace your steps and you're like,

[00:09:44] all right, this is going to do it.

[00:09:46] And then you get to the end of the step retracing and you're like,

[00:09:49] motherfucker, I did the thing.

[00:09:52] Yes, dude.

[00:09:52] I did.

[00:09:52] Now you made me do bullshit for nothing.

[00:09:55] Ah, fucking.

[00:09:56] I had to walk the same thing twice.

[00:09:58] Yeah.

[00:09:59] For no fucking, no fucking profit.

[00:10:02] I didn't even want to go on a fucking walk.

[00:10:05] I didn't want to lock my car.

[00:10:06] This is what I get for fucking trying to be responsible.

[00:10:09] For doing shit you don't want to do, man.

[00:10:10] I know.

[00:10:11] Never again.

[00:10:12] I've learned my lesson.

[00:10:13] Don't you ever do anything you will ever do.

[00:10:15] Don't leave that apartment.

[00:10:16] Yeah.

[00:10:17] It's too dangerous.

[00:10:19] You might lose your keys.

[00:10:20] Yeah.

[00:10:21] So you're never coming back to New York, huh?

[00:10:23] Why do you care?

[00:10:24] There's really not a reason to, you know?

[00:10:26] I mean, it's like this works.

[00:10:28] I have to, I have a dog.

[00:10:31] It's wrong of me to.

[00:10:33] Oh, OK.

[00:10:34] Oh, yeah.

[00:10:35] I have responsibilities.

[00:10:36] It's a dog.

[00:10:37] A dog.

[00:10:37] I have an apartment that I pay rent on.

[00:10:40] I have.

[00:10:41] You could stop paying rent.

[00:10:42] Easy.

[00:10:43] Yeah.

[00:10:43] Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

[00:10:44] You stop right now.

[00:10:47] I have a, I have a, yeah, you know.

[00:10:50] Well, I'll go into your house.

[00:10:51] I'll take you out.

[00:10:52] I don't necessarily.

[00:10:53] I'm not here because I won't.

[00:10:55] And then I'll get you fled.

[00:10:57] I didn't feel like you were scared of coronavirus.

[00:11:01] Because you thought your life was more valuable

[00:11:03] than anyone you might get sick on the way out.

[00:11:04] I left before the shutdown order.

[00:11:07] Days before.

[00:11:09] I don't believe that to be the case.

[00:11:11] People are keep leaving though.

[00:11:12] People are leaving later and later in the fucking process.

[00:11:14] It's fucked up.

[00:11:15] Yeah.

[00:11:16] Yeah.

[00:11:17] Although I didn't even know, like, I felt like I started

[00:11:19] freaking out like because I got here in like two days later

[00:11:22] in New York shutdown.

[00:11:24] And I was like, you're just never going to.

[00:11:27] Yeah.

[00:11:27] I heard you signed a lease on an apartment in Vegas.

[00:11:31] Right?

[00:11:31] I signed a lease in an apartment in the West Village.

[00:11:33] I got a great deal.

[00:11:35] And the corners of gay and gay alley and whatever.

[00:11:40] Pussy.

[00:11:41] There are streets there.

[00:11:42] Christopher Christopher and Gay Street.

[00:11:45] I believe that's where I'm living.

[00:11:47] I know.

[00:11:47] No, you're not.

[00:11:49] No, I'm not.

[00:11:50] No, I'll be back, dude.

[00:11:52] You know, you're living at the Tropicana Hotel in Las Vegas.

[00:11:55] That's not what's going on right now.

[00:11:57] Yeah, you are.

[00:11:58] You're in the fucking arcicinos open.

[00:12:01] Cosinos are closed for four weeks.

[00:12:04] The strip is dark.

[00:12:05] It's crazy.

[00:12:06] I actually want to go down there one night and check it out.

[00:12:08] Yeah.

[00:12:09] It sounds pretty nuts.

[00:12:11] Hell yeah.

[00:12:12] Nick, are you studying how to break a lock?

[00:12:16] I'm assuming there's any option available.

[00:12:18] You can go ahead and continue your conversation.

[00:12:21] It's not.

[00:12:22] Dude, I fucking saw a cost speaking of Vegas.

[00:12:27] I just watched Con Air, dude.

[00:12:28] I look at something for two seconds.

[00:12:30] Legendary.

[00:12:31] One of the best movies of all fucking time, dude.

[00:12:33] Dude, I think they imploded a casino, the Dunes.

[00:12:37] And they incorporated that into the movie

[00:12:39] as the casino getting destroyed.

[00:12:41] That was actually they were imploding the casino

[00:12:43] to build a new casino.

[00:12:44] Oh, look at that.

[00:12:46] Interesting little Las Vegas TV.

[00:12:49] And this is a little big tidbit.

[00:12:50] Yeah.

[00:12:50] I got tons of them.

[00:12:52] I like the Vegas aspect because it

[00:12:54] felt like the movie was over.

[00:12:56] And then he'd land safely his family's there.

[00:12:58] And then he's like, I'm going to fucking chase Cyrus

[00:13:01] to virus on a motorcycle.

[00:13:03] Yeah, so badass.

[00:13:05] Very good.

[00:13:06] Poe, what's his name?

[00:13:09] Great character.

[00:13:11] Who the?

[00:13:13] Nicholas Keito?

[00:13:14] Oh, yeah.

[00:13:15] Oh, the main guy.

[00:13:16] Yeah, which is the last name Poe what?

[00:13:19] I don't know.

[00:13:20] Cameron Poe, Cameron Poe.

[00:13:21] Yeah, Cameron Poe.

[00:13:23] He fucking rocks, dude.

[00:13:25] What an honorable man.

[00:13:26] I really love that Steve Buscemi character.

[00:13:28] Great character.

[00:13:30] It's, yeah, it's interesting how he doesn't kill that child.

[00:13:32] He's because he's so scary.

[00:13:34] He's the first time we see that.

[00:13:35] So I love his.

[00:13:36] There's two geniuses in the movie.

[00:13:38] There's two genius characters.

[00:13:40] You're two smart.

[00:13:41] It's the genius criminals.

[00:13:43] Yes.

[00:13:43] Cyrus the virus.

[00:13:45] Cyrus the fucking virus.

[00:13:46] I love when John Malkovich is on top of the plane

[00:13:50] giving that gay speech to hardened criminals.

[00:13:53] He's like, boys, in the annals of American crime,

[00:13:57] doff we find such rap scallion fellows.

[00:14:04] And they're like, yeah, that's me.

[00:14:07] That's me dog of rap scallion.

[00:14:11] Yeah, just like Nazis and fucking.

[00:14:13] Yeah.

[00:14:14] Military Black Panthers and shit like that.

[00:14:17] And don't forget the one prison bitch.

[00:14:18] That boy from drama camp is the head of the crew.

[00:14:23] Who's done it all?

[00:14:24] Yeah.

[00:14:24] Murder, extortion, whatever, dude.

[00:14:28] Yeah, why is he so smart?

[00:14:29] I don't get it.

[00:14:30] But Malkovich rocks, though.

[00:14:33] Yeah, I guess.

[00:14:33] He's crushing it.

[00:14:35] Is that dumb ass character?

[00:14:36] Yeah.

[00:14:37] Well, he isn't an actor.

[00:14:39] Yeah, I know.

[00:14:40] It's awesome when guys get to.

[00:14:41] It's not like you could be an actor

[00:14:42] and you show up to make the movie and you're like,

[00:14:44] God, this is gay.

[00:14:47] That happens all the time.

[00:14:48] You just like looked at the camera and be like,

[00:14:49] by the way, I know there's movies and pieces of shit.

[00:14:51] It sucks.

[00:14:52] Yeah.

[00:14:54] What's his face?

[00:14:56] Who's the other guy?

[00:14:57] There's a bunch of guys in it, but who's the cop from high

[00:15:01] fidelity?

[00:15:04] John Q. Sack.

[00:15:06] John Q. Sack, John Lithgow, Steve Buscemi.

[00:15:09] Lithgow's not in it.

[00:15:11] John Lithgow is in the movie.

[00:15:13] No.

[00:15:13] Yes, he is.

[00:15:14] He plays.

[00:15:15] Nope.

[00:15:16] I just watched it.

[00:15:17] The FBI agent.

[00:15:21] John Lithgow's not in this movie.

[00:15:23] That's right.

[00:15:24] Loose the other FBI.

[00:15:30] There's some guy with a little scrunched up face who's like,

[00:15:32] ah, you're gay.

[00:15:33] Yeah.

[00:15:34] I'm not going to listen to some gay guy.

[00:15:37] Yeah, that's the guy from.

[00:15:39] He's got a cool car.

[00:15:40] No, he's from fucking dad 70's show.

[00:15:45] The dad from that 70's show.

[00:15:46] No.

[00:15:47] You're complaining.

[00:15:48] That's not John Lithgow, but he has John Lithgow vibes.

[00:15:53] He's not in this movie either, bro.

[00:15:55] Red.

[00:15:56] Red is not in this movie.

[00:15:57] He's not in it.

[00:15:58] I haven't seen it.

[00:15:59] I literally saw in the theaters with my grandmother and my father.

[00:16:03] I think I was like eight years old.

[00:16:05] Dude, that's a Bruckheimer joint.

[00:16:07] Dude, that's the first Bruckheimer without what's his face

[00:16:10] without your boy Donnie Simpson.

[00:16:12] Yeah, call me is in it, but that's not a whole thing.

[00:16:14] Call me, that's the guy.

[00:16:15] He's the guy.

[00:16:16] He's like, you're gay, John Cusack.

[00:16:18] Yeah, but there's somebody that's in the place of either Lithgow

[00:16:22] or the dad from that 70's show who is in Robocop.

[00:16:27] That's what I'm thinking of.

[00:16:29] Robocop, Red is in Robocop.

[00:16:30] Yes, and then who is?

[00:16:33] There's somebody else that's not just Cusack, but then somebody else that's a government

[00:16:39] guy.

[00:16:40] Yeah, I don't know his name though.

[00:16:42] Who cares?

[00:16:43] Cusack's wearing sandals.

[00:16:44] That's pretty funny.

[00:16:46] But I also love that the guy just has diabetes.

[00:16:48] Is there so many awesome parts?

[00:16:50] Nicholas Gage slaps the gay guy.

[00:16:54] I told you guys, I told you, right?

[00:16:56] I was in the theaters.

[00:16:57] The gay guy starts putting on a wig and a dress and my dad just turns like full voice

[00:17:01] and says, that's a very sick man.

[00:17:07] Yeah, dude.

[00:17:09] He's pretty tight.

[00:17:10] Yeah.

[00:17:11] That's honestly what I'm saying.

[00:17:12] I remember, I think my mom went to go see the bird cage.

[00:17:15] We were all like, boo.

[00:17:17] Yeah.

[00:17:18] It turns out that's a great movie too.

[00:17:19] Your dad was crying.

[00:17:20] He was like, oh, I want to see this movie.

[00:17:24] I love it.

[00:17:25] I'm glad I'm not watching the bird cage.

[00:17:28] Did you?

[00:17:29] What age were you allowed to watch?

[00:17:31] Rated R?

[00:17:32] I don't think I ever, I'm still not allowed, dude.

[00:17:34] I'm breaking the rules every time I watch, rated R movies.

[00:17:37] You're breaking your mother's heart.

[00:17:38] Mom doesn't want me.

[00:17:39] My mom always watched a godfather with her, but my mom wasn't aware of most things, but

[00:17:45] the shit she was aware of, I couldn't watch any of.

[00:17:48] I feel like I was allowed to watch rated R pretty early on, but my eyes got covered

[00:17:52] up for sex, but never for violence.

[00:17:54] Yeah.

[00:17:55] Says a lot about society, doesn't it, Adam?

[00:17:58] Yeah, that's right.

[00:17:59] Well, that's why I don't desire violence, because I was desensitized.

[00:18:04] But I desire pussy.

[00:18:07] Yeah.

[00:18:08] Because anytime you saw a sex scene, your dad's hands were over your eyes.

[00:18:14] Exactly.

[00:18:15] And I was trying to peek through the fingers.

[00:18:17] Yeah.

[00:18:18] Do you make a girl, hold you, do you make a girl cover your eyes?

[00:18:23] When you do, yes.

[00:18:25] Well, I'm, my eyes are usually incredibly, tightly closed.

[00:18:30] You're just fucking?

[00:18:32] Yeah.

[00:18:33] And then I say, don't look at me.

[00:18:35] Don't look at me.

[00:18:36] Don't look at me.

[00:18:37] I'm ugly.

[00:18:38] Don't look at me.

[00:18:39] I'm ugly.

[00:18:40] I'm so ugly.

[00:18:41] Don't fuck me.

[00:18:42] Dude, I never like to have any thoughts in my head during sex.

[00:18:47] I like to just be busting knots without even considering what's going on.

[00:18:53] That's the point, dude.

[00:18:54] Oh, nice.

[00:18:55] The pipe.

[00:18:56] I got a calm down.

[00:18:58] Yeah, you have to chill, brother.

[00:19:01] It's a little fucking pike tobacco.

[00:19:05] Nick's just got a chill out of your muscles.

[00:19:07] What flavor you got going on Nick?

[00:19:11] It's not she should do.

[00:19:12] It's not fucking, it's not fucking.

[00:19:13] No, you get like cherry flavored pipes tobacco.

[00:19:16] No, like a hickory maybe.

[00:19:18] Maybe hickory.

[00:19:19] Nice, man.

[00:19:20] How you feeling?

[00:19:21] You feeling good?

[00:19:22] You look like a fucking a sea captain, brother.

[00:19:25] Yeah, you really do right now.

[00:19:27] Well, it takes like, you know, you smoke the whole pipe.

[00:19:29] It takes like 15 minutes.

[00:19:31] And then you kind of get like a body high.

[00:19:35] I'm about to go buy some black and mauled.

[00:19:37] I'm trying to get a pop boss and black and mauled to calm down.

[00:19:42] Yeah, it's not like cigarette.

[00:19:45] But yeah, I don't know what the flavor is.

[00:19:48] I just go to the I have I bought three bags of tobacco in my life and it takes like four

[00:19:53] years to smoke each one.

[00:19:55] I'm thinking when I get back to New York, we get we get into hookah all of us.

[00:20:00] What do you mean?

[00:20:01] Like for a visit?

[00:20:02] No, not for a visit when I go home.

[00:20:05] I guess you can come visit.

[00:20:06] You can come visit your home.

[00:20:08] You're home.

[00:20:09] This is where I live.

[00:20:10] You can have my couch if you want, bro, whenever you want, man.

[00:20:13] And yeah, there's plenty of who could place in the story.

[00:20:15] Well, to Google got for who go on your visit, if that's what I'm going to do.

[00:20:18] Well, say, yeah, you know that guy Adam who like does your podcast, lives in Vegas, he's

[00:20:22] coming to visit, I guess.

[00:20:23] No, he wants to see.

[00:20:24] Yeah, we have a big party.

[00:20:25] People will be excited to see you.

[00:20:26] They'll be like, wow, we never thought you were.

[00:20:29] I mean, we knew you were a coward, but to flee the city.

[00:20:31] I never had that about you.

[00:20:33] Yeah.

[00:20:34] And then we'll have drinks.

[00:20:36] It'll be fun, dude.

[00:20:38] All right.

[00:20:39] We'll have a we'll have that party, but it'll be a lie because I'll be home again.

[00:20:43] No, it won't be.

[00:20:45] Dude, I was thinking about it.

[00:20:47] I was like, like, okay, standups canceled.

[00:20:50] Then I'm like, who cares, dude?

[00:20:52] Fuck this.

[00:20:53] Yeah.

[00:20:54] When the world opens up again, dude, I'm just will podcast like this.

[00:20:57] I'll go to the gym.

[00:20:59] Yeah.

[00:21:00] I'll fall asleep early.

[00:21:02] Who needs to be out late at night doing.

[00:21:03] I've been getting up at like 730.

[00:21:06] I'm going to turn my whole life around by quitting comedy.

[00:21:08] I know.

[00:21:09] Honestly, I don't think spots really matter.

[00:21:10] You do.

[00:21:11] Like, I'm telling you, you may think that I got the wrong system, but one string of shows

[00:21:15] a year, you'll be like, yeah, I can still stand on stage for now.

[00:21:20] Yeah, fuck it.

[00:21:21] Yeah, it'll be fun.

[00:21:22] I did it this.

[00:21:23] I don't give shit.

[00:21:24] Yeah.

[00:21:25] Yeah.

[00:21:26] It'll be.

[00:21:27] Yeah.

[00:21:28] Fuck it.

[00:21:29] Let's turn into guys that just make essentially it'll be like when wrestlers do stand up.

[00:21:32] We'll be like Mick Foley, dude.

[00:21:33] We'll be personalities.

[00:21:34] Yeah.

[00:21:35] I remember the first time Nick did gay indie and guy.

[00:21:40] Yeah.

[00:21:41] Oh, yeah.

[00:21:42] We'll tell stories.

[00:21:43] Yeah.

[00:21:44] Tell wild and wacky stories.

[00:21:47] Yeah.

[00:21:48] Oh, yeah.

[00:21:49] The Australian retards was my idea.

[00:21:53] We knew.

[00:21:54] We had some gold there.

[00:21:56] We knew we were changing history.

[00:22:01] And then just do 25 minutes of requests.

[00:22:03] Did you say Australian retards was your idea?

[00:22:06] No, I would lie in my storytelling set.

[00:22:11] It was not my idea.

[00:22:12] Wow.

[00:22:13] Well, that was a sneaky way to just kind of throw it in.

[00:22:15] Everyone knows it was a stops idea.

[00:22:17] Yeah.

[00:22:18] I don't even remember us doing that, honestly.

[00:22:19] We gotta be either.

[00:22:20] I have no idea.

[00:22:21] That was like the second episode three.

[00:22:23] Yeah.

[00:22:24] Or two.

[00:22:25] Damn.

[00:22:26] Yeah, I thought Australian retards was from...

[00:22:30] Race wars.

[00:22:31] Who knows?

[00:22:32] I thought it was on Kurt Mascars podcast.

[00:22:35] I don't know.

[00:22:36] You know we should be in Australia right now.

[00:22:38] I'm listening to my keys.

[00:22:39] I can't remember who's in con air.

[00:22:41] We would be in Australia right now.

[00:22:43] I was thinking about the other day.

[00:22:45] We'd be in Australia for Greek Easter.

[00:22:48] We'd be in...

[00:22:49] In Bellham.

[00:22:50] We'd be in Sydney actually.

[00:22:52] Oh, really?

[00:22:53] I am.

[00:22:54] Before the show.

[00:22:56] Getting some fucking... getting some head from some fucking... some koalas.

[00:23:01] Damn, I really want to go back to that Greek restaurant in Brisbane.

[00:23:04] Me.

[00:23:05] But that don't have any...

[00:23:06] You mean Melbourne?

[00:23:07] Yeah, wherever we're...

[00:23:08] In Melbourne, yeah.

[00:23:09] Where the cheese was on fire?

[00:23:10] We can get fucking Sakhonaki anywhere, dude.

[00:23:14] That's a fire cheese.

[00:23:16] Sakhonaki.

[00:23:17] What is it called?

[00:23:19] Sakhonaki.

[00:23:20] It's called fire cheese?

[00:23:21] No, that's what you said it on fire.

[00:23:23] Oh, you said it's cheese...

[00:23:24] It's called Sakhonaki.

[00:23:25] Damn, I love that.

[00:23:27] The food where they're like, yeah, we fucked up.

[00:23:29] You can have it while it's still being fucked up.

[00:23:32] I was like, oh, every time I see it, I'm scared.

[00:23:38] Every single time, I'm like, this could go bad.

[00:23:40] I love the idea of being like an alcoholic.

[00:23:42] You have to drink those cocktails instead of get set on fire.

[00:23:45] So you're at home like just setting drinks on fire.

[00:23:49] Just wasted.

[00:23:50] It's just constantly fine.

[00:23:55] Drinking the flaming load.

[00:23:56] Just drinking.

[00:23:57] Yeah, drinking flames.

[00:23:58] Yeah, dude.

[00:23:59] That's a classic episode.

[00:24:00] I haven't seen flaming moan forever.

[00:24:02] Great app.

[00:24:03] Is that shit on Disney Plus?

[00:24:04] Is that true?

[00:24:06] What, the flaming moe episode of the Simpsons?

[00:24:09] Specifically that episode is on Disney Plus.

[00:24:11] It's just that one, yeah.

[00:24:14] Disney Plus, they don't show tits, they don't show ash or anything, huh?

[00:24:17] In splash.

[00:24:18] What the fuck does the plus stand for?

[00:24:20] Exactly.

[00:24:21] Yeah.

[00:24:22] Yeah.

[00:24:23] I'm trying to watch Mickey get his dick sucked by many, dude.

[00:24:27] Yeah.

[00:24:28] Uh huh.

[00:24:29] Pull my cock in your ass.

[00:24:31] Yeah, that kind of stuff.

[00:24:33] Pluto's just got huge cans.

[00:24:36] Goose.

[00:24:37] Oh, yes.

[00:24:38] There's the plus should be a deviant art section.

[00:24:41] Disney Plus should just be deviant art.

[00:24:43] Yeah.

[00:24:44] Goofy's definitely packing.

[00:24:46] Yeah.

[00:24:47] And his balls hang low like his ears.

[00:24:49] Yeah.

[00:24:50] Droopy ass balls.

[00:24:52] Droopy got, speaking of droopy, droopy, who's not, who's, I think, a looney tune, I believe

[00:24:57] he got pussy.

[00:24:58] Oh, yeah.

[00:24:59] I think I remember that as a child that there was the one joke he just had a hot ass wife.

[00:25:04] Droopy dog skates pussy.

[00:25:06] Dude, for real, look that up.

[00:25:08] I think droopy had a hot wife or something.

[00:25:10] I remember looking at, I remember, I specifically remember that cartoon and being like, hell yeah,

[00:25:15] droopy.

[00:25:16] Nice, dude.

[00:25:17] Like being six or seven years old.

[00:25:20] Yeah, just like the Roger Rabbit experience as well.

[00:25:24] Exactly.

[00:25:25] I just didn't understand why I wanted to be him so bad.

[00:25:27] You wanted to be Roger Rabbit?

[00:25:29] Yeah, because his wife was the hottest woman of all time.

[00:25:33] You didn't want to fuck Jessica Rabbit.

[00:25:35] Come on.

[00:25:36] Come on.

[00:25:37] Of course I did.

[00:25:38] Yeah.

[00:25:39] You wanted to fuck that.

[00:25:40] What character from the movie did he want to fuck?

[00:25:42] The main, the bad guy, but instead of his eyes bulging out, it would be his dick.

[00:25:46] Okay.

[00:25:47] That's one.

[00:25:48] I don't remember the movie, honestly, that well.

[00:25:52] Yeah, me.

[00:25:53] The other two were.

[00:25:54] I probably watched it three times in the last six months and I don't remember.

[00:25:56] Really?

[00:25:57] Yeah.

[00:25:58] They go to Tune Town.

[00:25:59] Adam wanted to be the mom of the baby who's getting her ass slapped by the baby.

[00:26:03] Yeah.

[00:26:04] Yeah.

[00:26:05] He did.

[00:26:06] No, I didn't.

[00:26:07] Yeah, yeah.

[00:26:08] That's not true.

[00:26:09] You're right.

[00:26:10] You just wanted that baby to slap you on the ass.

[00:26:11] Yeah, we figured it out.

[00:26:12] I wanted that New York baby to abuse me.

[00:26:14] Yeah.

[00:26:15] Yeah, that's the character you wanted to be.

[00:26:17] He wanted to be a sub for a baby.

[00:26:20] Yeah, we got to the bottom of that one.

[00:26:22] I can't wait until that's my real life when I have my firstborn child.

[00:26:25] Just get abused by an infant.

[00:26:27] Just being abused by an infant.

[00:26:28] Who you're going to have a child with?

[00:26:32] Probably the next person I have sex with.

[00:26:34] Yeah.

[00:26:35] Really?

[00:26:36] Yeah, why not?

[00:26:37] I mean, if this quarantine saw me anything, you probably will have kids pretty soon, huh,

[00:26:41] Adam?

[00:26:42] Yeah.

[00:26:43] Then I can't be, then I'll never be alone.

[00:26:44] Because you can't smash there.

[00:26:47] I cannot smash here.

[00:26:48] And you're never coming back here.

[00:26:49] I've been going, stop it with that, okay?

[00:26:53] I've been just trying to brace you for reality.

[00:26:55] I've been trying to, I've been trying to go know, know that though.

[00:26:58] You know you're not coming back here.

[00:27:01] Stop Nick.

[00:27:02] I, you know what's going on.

[00:27:04] I have to be here for a period.

[00:27:07] Yeah, but I mean, it's just, I mean, come on.

[00:27:10] Yeah, there's reasons, but you're still never coming back.

[00:27:12] You're never coming back.

[00:27:13] No one's saying there's not reason.

[00:27:14] You're going to get comfortable, dude.

[00:27:15] You're going to get a job at fucking in the video section.

[00:27:18] You're going to get a job at Suncoast Video.

[00:27:20] Yes.

[00:27:21] And you're going to get really into, you know, fucking making recommendations, recommendations,

[00:27:27] DVD boxes.

[00:27:28] Have you seen, they would have to listen to me?

[00:27:30] Have you seen The Tombstone by John Mark Bullah DeCo?

[00:27:34] Some bullshit.

[00:27:35] Imagine working at Suncoast Video in like 1996.

[00:27:38] Yeah.

[00:27:39] You're like, wow, life could not possibly be worse.

[00:27:43] It's 1996.

[00:27:46] And it's Suncoast Video.

[00:27:49] Oh, yeah.

[00:27:50] Yeah.

[00:27:51] A little do those motherfuckers know that place was always a love it.

[00:27:55] I used to love it though.

[00:27:57] I would go in and I would feel like, damn, this is like a, this is where cine files go.

[00:28:02] Yeah, but it mean, though, it weren't most of them like that weird, like black subway

[00:28:07] tile and red neon, which is a very like BDSM club kind of like there was something just

[00:28:15] 80s early 90s.

[00:28:17] Yeah.

[00:28:18] The neon to me denoted class.

[00:28:20] Yeah.

[00:28:21] Mm hmm.

[00:28:22] Something about it.

[00:28:23] I was like, wow, no, it just feels like it felt like sick and degenerate to me.

[00:28:29] Nah.

[00:28:30] And I would just look at the fucking only because of the black subway tile and the neon.

[00:28:34] I don't remember the black subway tile.

[00:28:35] I remember the neon and the neon definitely drew like to me it felt compared to like

[00:28:39] an FYE.

[00:28:40] Yeah.

[00:28:41] It was the, it was much classier.

[00:28:43] Yeah.

[00:28:44] FYE, I thought it was cool because it was like, you know, I'll never know anything about

[00:28:49] music or have interest.

[00:28:51] Yeah.

[00:28:52] No, if you look at a suncoast video, it's all just, it's all black.

[00:28:55] I don't know that it's maybe the ceilings are like there's some kind of like grid thing

[00:29:00] going on, but it might not be subway tile.

[00:29:03] I just, I just remember being like, damn dude, I've never heard of these fucking movies.

[00:29:07] This is fucking awesome.

[00:29:08] Yeah.

[00:29:09] And it would be like box sets of shit and like Jim Carrey movies and shit.

[00:29:14] And I was like, the Jim Carrey box set.

[00:29:18] There would be stuff I hadn't heard of, but that was obvious.

[00:29:21] It's like a fucking, it's a little toy right now.

[00:29:23] It's interesting to pull the movies out of its ass.

[00:29:26] That would be awesome.

[00:29:27] It takes 40 minutes to get the DVD.

[00:29:29] Just breaking all the DVDs, pulling them out of it right now.

[00:29:32] That's really cool.

[00:29:34] Yeah.

[00:29:35] Yeah.

[00:29:36] I got a $300 copy of Ace Ventura 2.

[00:29:40] It doesn't work, but you get to pull out of Rhino's ass.

[00:29:43] It comes from, it comes in a special box.

[00:29:46] And then you get to put the Rhino in your ass.

[00:29:48] Yeah.

[00:29:49] They were really waiting for Blu-ray to come along when they started doing that.

[00:29:52] When DVD's got to that point where they're like, now they're, now they come in Homer's

[00:29:56] head.

[00:29:57] Yes.

[00:29:58] You know what though?

[00:29:59] That worked for me.

[00:30:00] I was like, fuck you, dude.

[00:30:02] Great.

[00:30:03] So it doesn't fit on the shelf.

[00:30:04] Oh, no, it sucks.

[00:30:06] It's a display.

[00:30:07] I don't have to keep it on.

[00:30:08] It's not meant to be played.

[00:30:09] Yeah.

[00:30:10] Yeah.

[00:30:11] Damn.

[00:30:12] Like bot, like going to F or going to fucking suncoast video and seeing like season three

[00:30:17] of friends, the box set, just one season and being like, hell yeah.

[00:30:21] It would have been nice to get a job at FYE.

[00:30:23] And then like day one, just, you know, they put you on the register and the phone rings.

[00:30:27] And you're like, I'll get it.

[00:30:28] They're like, fuck you entertainment.

[00:30:30] This is Eric speaking.

[00:30:32] And they're like, what are you doing?

[00:30:34] You're like, I thought that's what it stood for.

[00:30:36] It's fuck you entertainment.

[00:30:37] You could probably get away with it once.

[00:30:40] Yeah.

[00:30:41] And then just like thinking you're an idiot.

[00:30:43] Yeah.

[00:30:44] I don't think anyone smart ever worked there.

[00:30:47] Yeah.

[00:30:48] Fuck you entertainment.

[00:30:49] This is Eric's statement.

[00:30:50] And they're like, oh, I'm sorry.

[00:30:53] I just thought I should use the formal full name.

[00:30:55] I thought that was the name of the place.

[00:30:59] To be honest with you, that's where I got a job here is because I thought it was more

[00:31:01] of a fuck you style of entertainment.

[00:31:04] Yeah.

[00:31:05] Yeah.

[00:31:06] You know, you got Metallica here.

[00:31:08] You got fucking Cree.

[00:31:10] Oh, yeah.

[00:31:11] Huddle of mud.

[00:31:12] It's more of a fuck you style.

[00:31:14] It was a fucking style.

[00:31:16] Oh, yeah.

[00:31:17] You know, I go to the mall, but I the stores I go to are more of the fuck you style of

[00:31:21] retail, you know, suncoast video.

[00:31:24] Hot topping.

[00:31:25] Hot pack sun.

[00:31:26] FY you know, I'm not going to like Abercrombie and Fitch.

[00:31:30] I'm going all the like just badass stores.

[00:31:33] Just the middle floor.

[00:31:34] Some of the yeah, the fuck you pay me sort of like the I want there to be posters of

[00:31:41] fuck of girls with big tits girls with big tits the place that sells swords and clocks.

[00:31:47] Oh, you would consider that a fuck you style.

[00:31:50] Yeah, I would tell you.

[00:31:52] Some of the dark arts fuck you style is like I need to see a guy sell pens next to it.

[00:31:59] $20,000 chest set.

[00:32:01] Go in there.

[00:32:03] Now what about a game stop?

[00:32:05] Is that a fuck you style?

[00:32:06] No, no, do you still go?

[00:32:09] Game stop is the nexus.

[00:32:10] It's where everybody in the mall goes game stop.

[00:32:12] Yeah.

[00:32:13] We're all going to the house.

[00:32:14] It's neutral territory.

[00:32:15] One where are the other ones?

[00:32:16] Yeah.

[00:32:17] Do you remember that where mall's used to have like a game stop, but then they also

[00:32:20] had a babages or they had like competing video game stores?

[00:32:24] What's bad?

[00:32:25] I don't remember that at all.

[00:32:26] There was babbages.

[00:32:27] There was E.B. games.

[00:32:28] There was Funko land.

[00:32:29] There was Game Stop eventually.

[00:32:30] Game Stop just bought all of them.

[00:32:32] Yeah, there was like three game stops.

[00:32:34] I remember eating games.

[00:32:36] Yeah.

[00:32:37] And there was no difference between the sun.

[00:32:39] The sun never sets on fucking Game Stop's empire.

[00:32:42] On the British empire.

[00:32:44] Game Stop's going to fucking go out of business because of this thing, which is great.

[00:32:48] You think?

[00:32:49] Yeah, probably.

[00:32:50] Yeah, I guess.

[00:32:51] It's a real shame, dude.

[00:32:53] Yeah.

[00:32:54] Well, there were guys with ponytail.

[00:32:55] We're a fact guys with ponytail is going to work now.

[00:32:58] What a dog shit come.

[00:32:59] I mean, you should be buying games at Best Buy anyways.

[00:33:01] How come?

[00:33:03] Because it's a bigger store.

[00:33:05] You always go to the cooler.

[00:33:08] You always go bigger?

[00:33:09] Yeah, dude.

[00:33:10] Fucking Game Stop is for children, dude.

[00:33:12] I got a Best Buy where there's a chance I could be buying an oven.

[00:33:15] I see.

[00:33:16] You know, I'm going to get a fridge.

[00:33:17] I don't know if I'm maybe I'm in here for baby shit or maybe I'm buying my bitch wife

[00:33:22] something to make me dinner on while she sucks my dick.

[00:33:26] Now, am I?

[00:33:29] Well, of course, yes, I will be buying an Nintendo Switch.

[00:33:32] Yes.

[00:33:33] I'm.

[00:33:34] Yes.

[00:33:35] Can I excuse me?

[00:33:36] Do you have the collectible Kirby switch carrying case?

[00:33:39] Also, I need an oven for my bitch wife.

[00:33:42] So my bitch wife to fucking make me look suck me off.

[00:33:46] I'm not storing my Nintendo Switch.

[00:33:50] The Kirby collectible pouch.

[00:33:53] So she knows she's bought the sales rep has walked away 10 minutes ago.

[00:34:02] And she's sucking me off.

[00:34:04] Yeah.

[00:34:05] She's sucking my car.

[00:34:07] Yeah.

[00:34:08] I'm like, sir, please leave the Magnolia section.

[00:34:12] What the fuck is that?

[00:34:14] Oh, welcome to the Magdolia section.

[00:34:16] Yeah.

[00:34:17] They're like, this is this is what your life would be like if you were a millionaire.

[00:34:21] Yeah.

[00:34:22] Like a special corner of Best Buy for people who think they're rich.

[00:34:26] I like to shop and chillax in luxury.

[00:34:29] Yeah.

[00:34:30] They should let you just speakers.

[00:34:32] They should let you smoke cigars over there.

[00:34:34] I guess it was supposed to be like Magnolia was a company that Best Buy bought where they

[00:34:37] did, you know, before it was home theater.

[00:34:40] Yeah, before they did like it was called man caves.

[00:34:43] You would like have all your shit set up by like a guy that's like, you know, you need

[00:34:47] the TV, but also the speakers.

[00:34:49] Of course.

[00:34:50] I remember dude, someone getting speakers attached to their TV.

[00:34:54] That literally didn't mean they were rich to me.

[00:34:56] Yeah.

[00:34:57] That was like, oh my God, you fucking have your your fucking TV plugs into some speakers.

[00:35:01] Mm hmm.

[00:35:02] God damn.

[00:35:03] When I got an apartment for myself, when I was like 20, 21, the first thing I did was

[00:35:08] put some fucking bookshelf speakers next to the TV.

[00:35:10] Hell yeah, dude.

[00:35:11] I was like on the floor, those speakers are awesome.

[00:35:14] I had a couch that I found like in the garbage.

[00:35:17] And I put some, yeah, I put some, I put some speakers next to that.

[00:35:24] Respect respect for that.

[00:35:26] Time for some serious gaming.

[00:35:27] And the dream was always to have like, you know, a couple of people around.

[00:35:31] Yeah, surround instead of just front surround or whatever.

[00:35:34] Well, you're living the dream right now.

[00:35:36] Oh, yeah, dude.

[00:35:37] I guess you could say I'm living the dream.

[00:35:39] You got what?

[00:35:40] Yeah.

[00:35:41] It's so funny how like, wow, my dick point, Adam's dick, how little the the goal post

[00:35:48] shifted in the last decade.

[00:35:51] On sound equipment on everything in my life.

[00:35:54] When I was when I was 20, I'm like, man, I just want to like fuck off and joke around

[00:35:59] with my friends, but then also play video games.

[00:36:02] And I remember being like, I know, 22, I'm like, maybe I should read or do something

[00:36:08] ever. And then yeah, I guess I did for a couple of years.

[00:36:12] And then, no, it's right back to like, no, I never had that.

[00:36:16] I guess I should read.

[00:36:17] I guess you didn't go to college.

[00:36:18] That's the thing.

[00:36:19] Yeah.

[00:36:20] I was like, I should, I should, I should, I had it right the first time.

[00:36:24] Yeah.

[00:36:25] Absolutely.

[00:36:26] Absolutely.

[00:36:27] Did you try to?

[00:36:28] Did you have like, I want to be an intellectual?

[00:36:30] No, the fuck are you talking?

[00:36:32] Stop said, stop said, you didn't go to call it.

[00:36:35] Did you do that in college?

[00:36:36] I want to be an intellectual.

[00:36:39] I need to read.

[00:36:40] Yeah.

[00:36:41] He said he's just, let me, let me parse what Nick was saying.

[00:36:43] He just stopped getting drunk at 10 a.m. and playing video games.

[00:36:47] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:36:48] I know what Nick was saying.

[00:36:49] I was just asking if you did the opposite at a certain point.

[00:36:52] No, I was saying, I was confused as to why he had that impulse.

[00:36:56] And I realized it's because he dropped out of school like 16.

[00:36:59] Yeah.

[00:37:00] So probably after doing that for eight years in a row, he was like, yeah, maybe I should

[00:37:02] read to something.

[00:37:03] The reading I did was I read like all of Raymond Chandler.

[00:37:07] That's cool.

[00:37:09] Wasn't like becoming an intellectual.

[00:37:11] That's pulpy.

[00:37:12] Huh?

[00:37:13] I don't know.

[00:37:14] That's cool.

[00:37:15] That's detective stuff.

[00:37:16] That was like, I have fond memories of reading.

[00:37:18] Raymond Chandler?

[00:37:19] Yeah.

[00:37:20] What did he write stuff about?

[00:37:21] It's like, it's like, it's everybody loves Raymond and Chandler.

[00:37:24] We wrote a book together.

[00:37:26] Yeah, exactly.

[00:37:27] Yeah.

[00:37:28] Oh, why don't we make a book?

[00:37:31] I'm already writing a book.

[00:37:34] Like that.

[00:37:35] Yeah.

[00:37:36] Yeah.

[00:37:37] That sounds exactly like both of them.

[00:37:40] Perfect, but seamless.

[00:37:42] Yeah.

[00:37:43] All right, Bobby.

[00:37:44] Why don't we write a book?

[00:37:52] I'm already writing a book.

[00:37:54] That was just your voice.

[00:37:56] You're just doing me.

[00:37:58] What?

[00:37:59] Oh, you barely changed.

[00:38:02] Could I be writing a book?

[00:38:04] Anybody?

[00:38:06] Fuck.

[00:38:07] Yeah.

[00:38:08] God damn.

[00:38:09] I was cold, so I closed my window, but now I'm too hot.

[00:38:17] Damn.

[00:38:18] What's the weather like?

[00:38:19] I just remembered those fucking keys.

[00:38:21] No, no, it's okay.

[00:38:22] I'm thinking about it.

[00:38:23] It's all right.

[00:38:24] I'll just go back to thinking about Best Buy.

[00:38:25] I've been playing Doom Eternal.

[00:38:27] Is it good?

[00:38:28] I love it.

[00:38:29] How are the metal riffs?

[00:38:31] It's fine.

[00:38:32] But it's fine.

[00:38:33] Apparently, the last Doom was much better.

[00:38:35] I guess I looked at reviews for Doom Eternal and it's all people who played the last Doom

[00:38:40] and they were like, I can't believe they fucking fucked it up like this.

[00:38:45] It's not as good as the last one.

[00:38:47] Yeah.

[00:38:48] I only heard his rave reviews.

[00:38:49] Yeah.

[00:38:50] But maybe it's because everyone's at home and they have nothing better to do.

[00:38:52] I don't understand how the gaming community continues to be so pissed while they spend

[00:38:57] their entire lives focusing on something that completely removes any ability.

[00:39:03] You do a thing that is completely inconsequential.

[00:39:06] Yeah, yes.

[00:39:09] That's why.

[00:39:10] What do you mean?

[00:39:11] It's like the most relaxing thing in the world is just sit and waste years of your life

[00:39:14] playing video games.

[00:39:15] No, because on some level, they recognize that they're doing that it is a waste.

[00:39:20] On some level, they're getting no pussy.

[00:39:21] They're probably not.

[00:39:22] They're mad at us.

[00:39:23] They're a good job.

[00:39:24] Yeah.

[00:39:25] What they have is Doom being awesome.

[00:39:28] Yeah.

[00:39:29] If it doesn't feel awesome to fucking slice an axe through some fucking demon's head,

[00:39:34] what's he going to do?

[00:39:35] Talk to his get put, you know, suck a titty.

[00:39:37] No.

[00:39:38] Yeah.

[00:39:39] Feel rewarded for doing well at his job.

[00:39:41] No.

[00:39:42] Never.

[00:39:43] Never.

[00:39:44] He's skating by.

[00:39:45] Not just November.

[00:39:46] I got to check to see.

[00:39:47] I forgot this was a regular one.

[00:39:50] No, this is a isn't today Sunday?

[00:39:52] What's today?

[00:39:53] Wednesday.

[00:39:54] Oh, really?

[00:39:55] Yes.

[00:39:56] Damn.

[00:39:57] It's wing night, stop.

[00:39:58] It's wing night.

[00:39:59] You're right.

[00:40:00] It's your wing night.

[00:40:01] I forgot the only the only day that matters.

[00:40:03] Holy shit.

[00:40:04] Come on, brother.

[00:40:05] I literally thought today was fucking Sunday.

[00:40:07] God damn.

[00:40:08] Come on, buddy.

[00:40:09] It's wing night.

[00:40:12] I guess it is wing night, but I had a rich dinner last night.

[00:40:17] There was a pork shoulder on sale, so I had to make one for the boys.

[00:40:21] And Pete made macaroni and cheese.

[00:40:23] I don't think I can have wings tonight.

[00:40:26] What are you gonna have, salad?

[00:40:27] Maybe some rice and beans, something light.

[00:40:31] You know, I just had a smoothie.

[00:40:35] Salud.

[00:40:36] A salud.

[00:40:37] Got a green smoothie in here.

[00:40:41] So I guess the answer is yes, it isn't a regular episode, Nick.

[00:40:44] Yeah, well, there's no reads.

[00:40:46] We're good.

[00:40:47] Oh, okay.

[00:40:48] I checked.

[00:40:49] Bye.

[00:40:50] Bye.

[00:40:51] Bye.

[00:40:52] Bye.

[00:40:53] Bye.

[00:40:54] Bye.

[00:40:55] Bye.

[00:40:56] Bye.

[00:40:57] Bye.

[00:40:58] But my biggest mom, I am gay.

[00:40:59] I love having no fucking reads.

[00:41:00] Yeah, fuck you companies.

[00:41:02] Guess what?

[00:41:03] Sucker diggs.

[00:41:04] I can't believe you know what man?

[00:41:05] This sucks.

[00:41:06] I was in, I was in like a good mood this morning, too, like ready to go.

[00:41:08] That's what it always happens.

[00:41:10] I was ready to riff.

[00:41:11] And then fuckin and what I guess for trying to be responsible.

[00:41:16] Unlock the fucking car.

[00:41:17] Well, even if you hadn't locked your car, wouldn't you, no?

[00:41:20] Cuz I never take it.

[00:41:21] I leave the keys inside all the time.

[00:41:24] I never-

[00:41:25] You leave the keys in the car.

[00:41:26] No, I leave the keys inside my apartment.

[00:41:27] My car keys are separate from my house keys.

[00:41:30] Oh, okay, I see, I see.

[00:41:32] Yeah.

[00:41:34] Damn.

[00:41:35] I went out there to lock the car.

[00:41:38] And then I went for a walk.

[00:41:40] And then I got home.

[00:41:42] Brutal.

[00:41:43] They're gone.

[00:41:45] Car's still there, no one fucking-

[00:41:47] Yeah, no, nobody's fucking.

[00:41:49] The wheels are off the car.

[00:41:51] It's sitting up on fucking Jack stands.

[00:41:53] Oh, that's why you don't lock it.

[00:41:55] All right, that makes sense.

[00:41:56] Yeah.

[00:41:57] Yeah.

[00:41:58] Damn.

[00:41:59] Yeah, instead of locking it,

[00:42:00] I take the wheels off the car and bring those inside.

[00:42:02] That's smarter, dude.

[00:42:04] It's smart.

[00:42:05] It's smart.

[00:42:05] You're not gonna lose the tires?

[00:42:06] You're not gonna, exactly.

[00:42:08] Show me somebody that's ever lost

[00:42:09] and misplaced the tires to their car.

[00:42:12] They're too big to fucking lose.

[00:42:14] Too big to fail.

[00:42:16] You know?

[00:42:17] Mm-hmm.

[00:42:18] That's-

[00:42:19] That's-

[00:42:19] You call that the genius mentality.

[00:42:22] Too big to fail.

[00:42:22] Chapter two of my book,

[00:42:25] Leave the Keys, Take the Wheels.

[00:42:27] Yep.

[00:42:28] Now you may think-

[00:42:30] I'm not gonna do it.

[00:42:31] What is this, an idiom?

[00:42:32] No, it's a literal, this is-

[00:42:34] It's literally what I suggest you do with your car every time.

[00:42:36] I suggest you park your car,

[00:42:38] you take the wheels off.

[00:42:39] Is it one of those wrenches or whatever?

[00:42:49] Where are you gonna put that ticket?

[00:42:51] I'll tell you, our officer,

[00:42:52] write up your fucking asshole, you piece of shit.

[00:42:54] Yeah, why don't you mail it back to your family in Bangladesh?

[00:42:57] Let them tell you.

[00:42:59] Get some stamps out of your big-ass cargo pockets

[00:43:01] and fucking mail it back to your family.

[00:43:03] They do have a lot of Bangladeshi metermaids.

[00:43:07] Metermaids aren't cops, right?

[00:43:09] They are.

[00:43:11] In what, dude, none of the metermaids-

[00:43:12] It says you can't keep it in a store-

[00:43:13] It's in a store-

[00:43:14] None of the metermaids could do any other kind of cop work.

[00:43:17] They're all puny, bitch.

[00:43:19] Like I could-

[00:43:19] Put them in vice.

[00:43:20] I could fuck every metermaid up

[00:43:21] that I've ever seen in a store-

[00:43:22] Yeah.

[00:43:23] Well, what's the other cop work?

[00:43:25] Shooting people?

[00:43:26] Shooting people?

[00:43:26] It's pretty rude to make the-

[00:43:28] Being racist.

[00:43:29] Being a man when you could be a guy that does it, you know?

[00:43:31] Yeah.

[00:43:32] It's pretty emasculating.

[00:43:33] Do you wanna be-

[00:43:33] To make the name of the job a metermaid.

[00:43:35] Do you wanna be the metermaid on the show, Adam?

[00:43:38] Well, no, I don't wanna be a maid.

[00:43:40] It's a girl thing.

[00:43:42] Oh, I thought you were saying you wanted-

[00:43:43] It's not fair that you don't get to make it.

[00:43:45] No, I was saying that it's emasculating.

[00:43:46] You're jealous that you're not a maid?

[00:43:48] You're jealous that you're not a maid.

[00:43:50] You can't be referred to as a maid.

[00:43:52] Yeah, I wanna be a maid with big old milky titties.

[00:43:55] It can be the podcast maid.

[00:43:56] Darth Vader, right?

[00:43:58] And he's got big tits.

[00:44:00] Big tits.

[00:44:00] He's wearing a little apron.

[00:44:01] It's like drippy milky titties.

[00:44:03] I am your mother.

[00:44:05] He's like, no!

[00:44:07] You have a dick!

[00:44:08] And he's like-

[00:44:09] You have a dick!

[00:44:10] Darth Jinder.

[00:44:11] You're also a dick.

[00:44:12] Darth Jinder.

[00:44:13] Mm-hmm.

[00:44:14] All right.

[00:44:15] How would that go?

[00:44:16] Lady.

[00:44:18] Yeah.

[00:44:19] Mm-hmm.

[00:44:19] Darth Jinder.

[00:44:20] Luke.

[00:44:21] That's common.

[00:44:22] That's the next one.

[00:44:24] You think so, like Star Wars?

[00:44:25] Is that LA Times article that's like,

[00:44:27] they were the future of Hollywood.

[00:44:29] But now Corona has put their careers on hold.

[00:44:32] And it's like this human interest piece on like,

[00:44:35] the people that were supposed to be millionaires.

[00:44:38] You know, but now they can't make the Indian sketch comedy show

[00:44:43] that they were supposed to make.

[00:44:44] LAUGHTER

[00:44:46] Also, who gives a fuck about any entertainment industry person?

[00:44:49] Right now, dude.

[00:44:50] And that's the thing.

[00:44:51] It's like, it just like highlights how-

[00:44:52] Because the nurses are dying.

[00:44:54] The nurses are essential workers.

[00:44:55] The boys are essential workers.

[00:44:56] Well, there's other shit that was like as pressing.

[00:44:59] You know, I mean, there was like the opioid crisis

[00:45:02] or unemployment.

[00:45:03] I mean, there's like plenty of things that-

[00:45:04] Yeah.

[00:45:05] And it's like this kind of highlights that mentality

[00:45:08] and the absurdity of it, even in regular time.

[00:45:10] Yeah, I cannot believe somebody wrote that fucking piece.

[00:45:12] Yeah.

[00:45:13] And imagine agreeing to be like interviewed for that.

[00:45:16] Right.

[00:45:17] Exactly.

[00:45:18] Oh yeah, no, you're right.

[00:45:19] To be that much of like a tone deaf narcissist

[00:45:22] to think that like people are really upset

[00:45:24] that we're not having like, you know,

[00:45:28] our fucking, like a show that nobody's going to watch.

[00:45:31] You've already been-

[00:45:32] Here's the other thing too.

[00:45:33] It's like they were supposed to, this was supposed to be,

[00:45:36] and then they described the show and it's like,

[00:45:38] you could just do that.

[00:45:39] You could just get on Instagram and do that.

[00:45:41] It's like, I'm sorry that the infrastructure there

[00:45:44] isn't there anymore to hand you a fucking career.

[00:45:47] You can just build your own on it.

[00:45:50] Like everyone else, the people that don't,

[00:45:52] ironically, the people who the industry has labeled

[00:45:56] pieces of shit and doesn't want to work with

[00:45:59] had to already do this on their own

[00:46:01] during the era of cancellations.

[00:46:03] So maybe you could figure it out now.

[00:46:07] You get a fucking podcast, bitch.

[00:46:10] Now's the time for it too.

[00:46:12] I mean, it's like, people will listen.

[00:46:14] I'm sure you can find it on.

[00:46:17] I don't know though, bro.

[00:46:19] I hear the podcast listens are down because people only want

[00:46:22] to listen to the podcast.

[00:46:23] People do that work when they don't want to do this.

[00:46:24] Yeah.

[00:46:26] I don't fucking want, the only time I've listened to a podcast

[00:46:28] is when I'm-

[00:46:29] That's true.

[00:46:30] That's true.

[00:46:30] The second I stopped like having a day job,

[00:46:32] I'd never listened to.

[00:46:34] I have not listened to a single podcast.

[00:46:36] It's an important thing.

[00:46:37] Yeah.

[00:46:38] I mean, I listen to fucking, when I'm cooking,

[00:46:40] I'll listen to a sports podcast.

[00:46:41] The only reason this ever happened is because I got into

[00:46:45] listening to the smoking tire when I was working

[00:46:49] those truck jobs.

[00:46:50] And I would just, I would like all day long.

[00:46:53] I would just listen to podcasts.

[00:46:54] I'm like, this seems fun.

[00:46:55] Maybe I should have a podcast.

[00:46:57] Yeah.

[00:46:57] And then it became my income.

[00:46:59] And it's like, of course, I wouldn't listen to a podcast.

[00:47:02] That's insane.

[00:47:03] That's crazy.

[00:47:05] It's insane.

[00:47:09] Yeah, there's so much dope or shit out there.

[00:47:11] Like, con air.

[00:47:12] Con air, bro.

[00:47:14] And what the fuck was Liskow in?

[00:47:15] You know what?

[00:47:16] I got to look at what Liskow was in and see

[00:47:18] what I'm confusing it for.

[00:47:19] I think he definitely played a villain

[00:47:21] in something cool like this.

[00:47:22] No, he's not a villain in the movie that I'm thinking of.

[00:47:25] You sure?

[00:47:26] Yeah, he's just some fucking government, the weeb.

[00:47:30] All right, let's see.

[00:47:31] What else has he done?

[00:47:32] Harry and the Henderson's third rock from the Sun.

[00:47:36] He was the bad guy in Blowout.

[00:47:40] Uh, Shrek.

[00:47:41] Shrek?

[00:47:42] Yeah.

[00:47:43] What's Blowout?

[00:47:45] It's a movie with John Travolta.

[00:47:48] Not familiar.

[00:47:49] By the way, I love having hair again, dude.

[00:47:52] Yeah, I think it suits you.

[00:47:55] I'm not saying that ironically.

[00:47:57] I can't wait.

[00:47:58] I'm just going to grow my shit out, dude.

[00:48:00] It feels nice to just have that shit.

[00:48:02] Actually, it looks kind of nice with the mustache.

[00:48:04] It's kind of vintage.

[00:48:05] Yeah, dude.

[00:48:05] I'm a vintage motherfucker.

[00:48:07] Yeah, vintage Stavros.

[00:48:09] Vintage Jaz Style.

[00:48:10] Old fashioned, dude.

[00:48:11] He's turning into an old Hollywood

[00:48:14] back when they were all conservatives.

[00:48:16] That's right.

[00:48:17] I'm a Republican and I don't care

[00:48:18] that I look like absolute dog shit.

[00:48:20] Yeah, glazed and bled and bread-filled.

[00:48:24] Stavs.

[00:48:25] I am bread-filled.

[00:48:26] Stavs mentality.

[00:48:28] I'm going to start baking breads and shit.

[00:48:30] Yeah.

[00:48:31] I got to stand to get a sourdough starter.

[00:48:33] One time.

[00:48:35] You should make some.

[00:48:36] I want to make a cake.

[00:48:37] Yeah.

[00:48:39] Yeah, I've been wanting cake, bro.

[00:48:41] That seems like it's-

[00:48:41] I've been eating on a cake for like five days.

[00:48:43] Fairly easy to make a cake.

[00:48:46] I don't have any of the ingredients, though.

[00:48:48] It's hard to get flour right now.

[00:48:49] There's a flour.

[00:48:50] Maybe it's cliffhanger is what I'm thinking of.

[00:48:54] Yeah, that's probably it.

[00:48:55] Yeah.

[00:48:55] It's the cologne movie right where it climbs shit.

[00:49:00] Yes.

[00:49:01] It's the cologne movie.

[00:49:02] It's like, I got to climb over this hill.

[00:49:06] My favorite-

[00:49:07] My favorite cologne movie.

[00:49:08] Hey, hey, hey, climb over hill over hill over hill over hill.

[00:49:12] You get it at the top of the hill,

[00:49:14] but he's going right back down the hill.

[00:49:18] That's awesome.

[00:49:18] Yeah.

[00:49:19] Yeah.

[00:49:20] He wins that.

[00:49:21] My favorite is the movie where he's a fuck it over the top.

[00:49:24] Yeah, the Armrest Driver.

[00:49:26] Yeah, you got to go over the top.

[00:49:30] There's a top there.

[00:49:32] You go over hill over hill over hill over the top.

[00:49:37] That shit-

[00:49:38] Well, you come right back down.

[00:49:42] What about Cobra?

[00:49:43] Have you ever seen Cobra?

[00:49:44] Yeah, it's Cobra.

[00:49:46] He's like a cop.

[00:49:54] He's like a cop.

[00:49:56] You get the cop as it goes over where the bad guys are.

[00:49:59] And then you just take them down.

[00:50:03] They take the bad guys down.

[00:50:05] They take them up.

[00:50:06] They're going right back down.

[00:50:08] They take the bad guys up and then take them down.

[00:50:13] Shout out to Cabretti.

[00:50:14] What a good name.

[00:50:15] Yeah.

[00:50:16] I wish my, if I was Italian,

[00:50:17] I would change my name to Cobra Eddie for sure.

[00:50:19] Detective Snake Cabretti.

[00:50:24] Yeah.

[00:50:25] You know what his nickname is?

[00:50:27] Oh, is it Cobra?

[00:50:28] No.

[00:50:29] Jeez, I didn't even think of that.

[00:50:31] No, we call him Big Johnny.

[00:50:33] We have a call him Big John.

[00:50:36] Cobra's good though.

[00:50:36] That's smart.

[00:50:39] You're going to do well here

[00:50:40] on the New Hell Police Department.

[00:50:46] Welcome to Hell, America.

[00:50:48] We name the city, Helltown.

[00:50:52] Maybe we wouldn't have so much crime

[00:50:54] if we changed the name of the city from Helltown to,

[00:50:59] from Neo-Hell to something like, I don't know,

[00:51:06] Pleasant Place.

[00:51:08] Pleasant Bill.

[00:51:09] Pleasant City.

[00:51:10] No rims.

[00:51:11] America.

[00:51:12] No rape America.

[00:51:13] Yeah.

[00:51:14] That would be a cool name.

[00:51:15] Time to die, pig.

[00:51:17] The movie sucks.

[00:51:18] Which very bad.

[00:51:20] Cobra.

[00:51:21] No, Cobra rules the thing.

[00:51:24] He's awesome.

[00:51:25] He's just, it's the most fucking writing.

[00:51:27] He wrote it, right?

[00:51:28] Cobra is the most blue lives matter-ass fantasy

[00:51:31] I've ever seen in my life, dude.

[00:51:32] Yeah.

[00:51:32] Cobra's just murdering people and shit.

[00:51:34] No one gives a fuck.

[00:51:35] What's a lot better than that is Stone Cold.

[00:51:38] I used to parrot the two.

[00:51:39] I would watch Cobra and Stone Cold.

[00:51:42] Nice little double feature.

[00:51:43] Yeah, and Stone Cold's way more fun.

[00:51:45] Wait, Stone Cold is that still on as well?

[00:51:47] No, it's Brian Bosworth.

[00:51:49] Oh hell yeah, the boss.

[00:51:54] That guy, rock dude.

[00:51:56] Like Lance Henriksen is the bad guy.

[00:51:57] Be a good shitty NFL player.

[00:51:59] Lance Henriksen is a bad guy,

[00:52:00] and they have this weird sexual tension the whole time.

[00:52:03] I think at one point, he's like, even like,

[00:52:04] he's like, I want to watch your fuck my wife and he's-

[00:52:10] Wait, is that Daniels from the wire?

[00:52:14] Who's Dan?

[00:52:15] Who's Lance Henriksen?

[00:52:16] No, you're thinking of Lance Redick.

[00:52:19] Oh, that's Lance Redick.

[00:52:21] That would be hot.

[00:52:22] Bosworth and Lance Redick fucking would be nice, dude.

[00:52:25] Little fucking-

[00:52:26] Lance-

[00:52:27] Ebony and Ivory.

[00:52:28] Lance Henriksen is, you know, he's in a bunch of shit.

[00:52:32] He's Bishop and Alien.

[00:52:34] Hmm, yes.

[00:52:36] Hmm.

[00:52:37] Probably his most iconic role.

[00:52:40] Yeah, that's cool.

[00:52:43] Only one that comes to mind, but he's in a bunch of shit.

[00:52:46] You know who he is.

[00:52:47] He wasn't even on that show Sentinel.

[00:52:49] You remember Sentinel?

[00:52:50] No, not Sentinel.

[00:52:50] Yeah, or Millennium.

[00:52:52] Didn't see that one either, brother.

[00:52:54] Or he was like a cop that was psychic.

[00:52:56] And he could see the way people do murders.

[00:52:59] Remember that was a thing for a while.

[00:53:01] Like there's all this dumb shit.

[00:53:03] Claire Voigt.

[00:53:04] Yeah.

[00:53:04] People forget that fact checking didn't exist until like 2003.

[00:53:08] So the Just Be TV shows were like the FBI's top psychics.

[00:53:12] And you were like, yeah, of course.

[00:53:14] The FBI, they got psychics that work there.

[00:53:16] And you know, that's-

[00:53:17] Jamie Lee, what's your face?

[00:53:19] No.

[00:53:21] Not Curtis.

[00:53:23] People are saying that they can't get the link on Patreon right now.

[00:53:26] Um, Jamie P. Turtis.

[00:53:29] Yeah, Jamie P. Turtis.

[00:53:30] Yeah, big fat.

[00:53:31] Instead of Titchia, just fat turbs coming out of her chest.

[00:53:34] Jamie P. Turtis.

[00:53:38] Yeah, there aren't that many people in this thing, but yeah, I got-

[00:53:41] I'm getting messages that people can't get in.

[00:53:44] That it's not on Patreon.

[00:53:46] There's no-

[00:53:47] But there are people in here, though.

[00:53:49] Oh, you want to go up-

[00:53:50] Yeah, I'm looking at-

[00:53:51] I'm looking at the-

[00:53:53] thing now, and it's just not saving.

[00:53:56] And I don't know why.

[00:53:58] The-

[00:53:59] The video?

[00:53:59] Yeah, well, um,

[00:54:01] Patreon got stuck like-

[00:54:05] The fuck?

[00:54:06] Yeah, it just got stuck like saving.

[00:54:10] Oh, they're like-

[00:54:11] That's weird.

[00:54:11] Yeah.

[00:54:15] Well-

[00:54:18] That's gay.

[00:54:20] That's pretty gay.

[00:54:22] No, no, this should work.

[00:54:23] No, I'm just deleted.

[00:54:24] And they make it-

[00:54:27] There we go.

[00:54:28] Okay.

[00:54:28] Now it works.

[00:54:30] Nice.

[00:54:30] Well, good thing we didn't really say anything funny up until this point.

[00:54:34] Yeah.

[00:54:35] We had-

[00:54:36] You know, there's a lot of really good riffs.

[00:54:39] There's the one about, um,

[00:54:42] Chandler Raymond that I did, of course.

[00:54:45] How about-

[00:54:45] I thought that was a dunk.

[00:54:48] Thanks, man.

[00:54:48] Yeah.

[00:54:50] Oh, I just want to have sex with a girl.

[00:54:53] Well, we should probably do some extra time then.

[00:54:55] I did lose an escape-

[00:54:56] Yeah.

[00:54:56] It's crazy that-

[00:54:57] It's just a two hour show.

[00:55:00] Just keep going.

[00:55:02] I'd fuck doing Matt and Shane too.

[00:55:04] Yeah.

[00:55:05] Yeah.

[00:55:06] Those guys are good.

[00:55:07] Yeah.

[00:55:07] Yeah, two hour show.

[00:55:08] I guess it's just like fucking-

[00:55:09] We're just going to go.

[00:55:10] Mm-hmm.

[00:55:11] Fill up the time.

[00:55:12] I respect that.

[00:55:14] It's kind of what we do, but for an hour.

[00:55:16] Yeah.

[00:55:20] Kind of our ethos, but half as much time.

[00:55:22] You want to see if we can hit two hours?

[00:55:25] Uh, I'm not particularly-

[00:55:27] No.

[00:55:27] You don't want-

[00:55:28] You got stuff you gotta do?

[00:55:29] I have to piss.

[00:55:30] You have to-

[00:55:30] You can go piss.

[00:55:32] I'll go piss.

[00:55:33] If I got a snack, I can do it.

[00:55:35] Oh, you could do it.

[00:55:36] You could carry the show for another hour.

[00:55:39] Yeah, why not?

[00:55:41] Do it-

[00:55:42] Do some Jewish style comedy.

[00:55:44] Go ahead.

[00:55:45] What do you got?

[00:55:46] Damn.

[00:55:46] How do I fucking get into-

[00:55:48] Well, I guess because it's published now.

[00:55:51] Sorry about that.

[00:55:52] Yeah, I see the number going up.

[00:55:54] Patreon got stuck-

[00:55:55] I'm stuck-

[00:55:56] Saving the link and-

[00:55:58] How do I suck?

[00:55:59] I just-

[00:56:00] I just-

[00:56:00] I just clicked through to the livestream instead of checking-

[00:56:06] Nice.

[00:56:06] Make sure that Patreon worked, but um-

[00:56:08] Oh yeah.

[00:56:09] You've been jumping in.

[00:56:10] Oh yeah.

[00:56:10] If you're just joining us-

[00:56:10] You've been jumping in.

[00:56:11] If you're just joining us now-

[00:56:13] You missed-

[00:56:13] My car keys are gone and I'm curious.

[00:56:16] You missed-

[00:56:16] Nick has been pissed for the last 40 minutes-

[00:56:19] For five minutes.

[00:56:19] Uh huh.

[00:56:20] Uh huh.

[00:56:20] I am livid.

[00:56:23] And here are the key details.

[00:56:24] I never locked my car.

[00:56:26] Today I locked my car to be responsible.

[00:56:30] And then proceeded to immediately lose my keys on a mile long walk.

[00:56:34] Yep.

[00:56:34] That's tough.

[00:56:36] I'm gonna-

[00:56:37] Now I'm thinking about it again.

[00:56:38] I calmed down-

[00:56:39] Yeah.

[00:56:40] Oh no.

[00:56:41] Yeah.

[00:56:42] What's your sign?

[00:56:43] You're hot dude.

[00:56:44] Why don't we find the guy with the exact same car as you-

[00:56:47] Rob him take those keys.

[00:56:48] Cause that's not how keys work.

[00:56:50] Oh, you know how keys work at him?

[00:56:52] Yes they do.

[00:56:52] Well yeah, they're the key-

[00:56:54] You find the key only works with one car-

[00:56:55] All right.

[00:56:56] I find the exact-

[00:56:56] What do we got?

[00:56:56] An extra key genius or-

[00:56:58] I don't think that the same model of car-

[00:57:00] Oh what do we got?

[00:57:01] The genius of keys?

[00:57:03] Yep.

[00:57:03] Yeah, they call me the master of keys.

[00:57:05] Yeah.

[00:57:06] If you-

[00:57:07] If you find the exact same here,

[00:57:09] making model of a car-

[00:57:12] Probably gonna work.

[00:57:12] Especially an old car.

[00:57:14] Yeah.

[00:57:15] I don't know.

[00:57:15] I'm trying to-

[00:57:16] I mean that.

[00:57:17] Yeah.

[00:57:17] Old cars I think did work that way.

[00:57:20] No.

[00:57:20] I mean maybe there's a way-

[00:57:22] Way through the wiring harness to trip the relay

[00:57:29] for the door unlock for the central locking.

[00:57:32] If I just attach it directly to the battery maybe,

[00:57:35] but I don't fucking-

[00:57:37] I would have-

[00:57:38] People steal cars all the time bro.

[00:57:41] Well I don't know.

[00:57:42] I mean the way the doors are set up,

[00:57:44] there's no way into the lock mechanism

[00:57:47] from that side of the window goes down.

[00:57:50] You just can't-

[00:57:51] You can't get a coat hanger in there.

[00:57:55] So I don't know.

[00:57:56] I really have no idea what the fuck I'm gonna do.

[00:57:59] If anybody knows how to steal cars-

[00:58:00] If anybody knows how to steal cars-

[00:58:02] This is also too,

[00:58:03] the thing I've never once practiced

[00:58:05] and it requires like some kind of finesse

[00:58:07] that I'm not gonna develop.

[00:58:08] I'm gonna end up just destroying the fucking door

[00:58:11] and punching holes in it and shatter it.

[00:58:13] Yeah.

[00:58:14] I'm not-

[00:58:15] What if you saw it a fucking metal ass box?

[00:58:18] Yeah.

[00:58:19] Around the lock got in that way.

[00:58:22] What if I took a sawzall and cut a hole through the door?

[00:58:26] Yeah.

[00:58:26] And then just taped it over.

[00:58:28] Great suggestion.

[00:58:30] And then just took-

[00:58:31] What if I just completely destroyed the car?

[00:58:37] It could be a little hole.

[00:58:40] I don't know.

[00:58:41] Don't locksmiths do something where they like

[00:58:44] jam the door open or some shit?

[00:58:46] Yeah.

[00:58:46] You can put what I could do,

[00:58:48] is I could get a bike-

[00:58:49] I have an inner tube for a bike

[00:58:52] and I could wedge that into the door frame

[00:58:54] and then pump that shit up.

[00:58:55] Just fold it up a bunch on itself,

[00:58:57] pump that up,

[00:58:58] maybe get some space in there,

[00:59:00] drop like a-

[00:59:03] either like a shoelace or a piece of string

[00:59:06] with a slip knot on it,

[00:59:07] and then pop the door locked that way.

[00:59:10] There we go.

[00:59:10] Slip knot.

[00:59:11] But I already-

[00:59:12] It's cool.

[00:59:12] I made a slim gym out of a ruler

[00:59:14] that I cut with aviation snips.

[00:59:16] Couldn't get it that way.

[00:59:18] Couldn't get it with the fucking coat hanger.

[00:59:21] So yeah.

[00:59:22] It's got to be bike-

[00:59:23] bike pump time, dude.

[00:59:24] I can try that,

[00:59:25] but I mean it's all just guessing

[00:59:27] as to like what may work.

[00:59:28] I mean-

[00:59:29] Doesn't it feel good though?

[00:59:30] It'd be a criminal.

[00:59:32] No, it'd feel better to just have my fucking car keys back.

[00:59:35] Yeah, it does.

[00:59:36] Yeah.

[00:59:39] Yeah, it's pretty good.

[00:59:39] At least your keys mate.

[00:59:42] What's the worst thing you've ever lost Adam?

[00:59:44] My dignity.

[00:59:48] That's true.

[00:59:50] That is true.

[00:59:50] That was awesome.

[00:59:51] You can retrace your steps.

[00:59:52] Just never come back.

[00:59:53] Never come back.

[00:59:55] Did you retrace your steps?

[00:59:57] I tried.

[01:00:00] Very few men could walk a mile in these-

[01:00:04] These Louboutins?

[01:00:05] Penny loafers.

[01:00:06] Yeah.

[01:00:07] Which you keep-

[01:00:08] And you keep the pennies in your pocket just to be safe.

[01:00:11] Yep.

[01:00:11] It's a Jewish style of shit.

[01:00:12] That's true.

[01:00:14] Did they really have pennies in the loafers?

[01:00:15] Is that how they got their name?

[01:00:16] Yeah, you put pennies at them.

[01:00:19] That's what penny lovers are.

[01:00:21] You buy them and then you put the penny in them.

[01:00:23] Had no idea.

[01:00:24] Yeah.

[01:00:25] What do you think they called them then?

[01:00:27] Is there like a little slot for them?

[01:00:28] Yeah, there's a slot.

[01:00:30] Nice.

[01:00:30] Just for one cent.

[01:00:31] Anytime you meet one cent.

[01:00:32] You want to never see penny loafers?

[01:00:35] Uh,

[01:00:36] I can't say that I exactly know what they look like off the top of my head.

[01:00:39] Yeah, there's a little slot that you put a penny in.

[01:00:42] Nice.

[01:00:43] That's pretty cool.

[01:00:44] Back in the days where-

[01:00:45] Yeah, it's really cool stuff.

[01:00:48] Yeah.

[01:00:48] Here we go.

[01:00:49] Here, copy image.

[01:00:50] We'll send this right over to you.

[01:00:52] Thanks, man.

[01:00:53] Yeah, we'll post that to you.

[01:00:54] You can take a look at that.

[01:00:55] I appreciate that.

[01:00:57] How do I-

[01:00:57] Why don't you go ahead and take a look at these uh-

[01:01:00] at these loafers here.

[01:01:02] Let's see if you like that.

[01:01:03] Uh huh.

[01:01:04] Oh yeah, right there.

[01:01:06] Yeah.

[01:01:07] Nice.

[01:01:08] That's cool.

[01:01:10] I guess we should look up and see what the fuck Magnolia is at Best Buy.

[01:01:15] Yeah, why don't we figure that out?

[01:01:17] Yeah, we should.

[01:01:18] That-

[01:01:18] I'm going to lean back and I'm going to hold my mic now.

[01:01:20] We need to get to the bottom of this.

[01:01:23] Let's find out what Magnolia is.

[01:01:25] Magnolia Premium Audio and Video.

[01:01:29] Did we talk about Magnolia the fucking movie last time?

[01:01:32] Um, here we go.

[01:01:34] Solved.

[01:01:34] What is Magnolia Home Theater on the Best Buy Support Forum?

[01:01:39] Let's find out.

[01:01:40] I'm fucking-

[01:01:41] I'm on pins and needles.

[01:01:45] How do I give my dad a-

[01:01:49] I want to-

[01:01:49] No, they were never bought out.

[01:01:52] I guess-

[01:01:52] Wait, hold on.

[01:01:53] It's a partnership?

[01:01:55] No, it was-

[01:01:55] It was its own thing.

[01:01:57] Mmm.

[01:01:58] Best Buy.

[01:01:59] Originally introduced to select the Best Buy stores in 2004.

[01:02:03] Magnolia Home Theater is unique.

[01:02:05] And now they're just-

[01:02:05] They look like dog shit now.

[01:02:07] Go in there and the cup holders ripped out by a homeless person.

[01:02:12] There's a bunch of TVs stacked on top of each other.

[01:02:15] And you're like,

[01:02:16] Please, I just want to remember life before the recession for a minute.

[01:02:20] I just want to know what it was like in the first year of George W. Bush's term.

[01:02:24] The first-

[01:02:24] The first-

[01:02:25] Yeah, the first couple of years.

[01:02:26] Before those fucking towers came out.

[01:02:27] George W. Bush before 9-11, the best America ever got.

[01:02:31] Yeah.

[01:02:31] I loved it.

[01:02:32] While I was working in Suncoast's video,

[01:02:35] you might-

[01:02:35] The possibilities were endless.

[01:02:37] You might boy Ralph Smokin' Weed talking about the Matrix.

[01:02:44] If you hit up Oni Ann's, get some-

[01:02:48] Get some pretzel bites, dip them in cheese.

[01:02:50] Mod on.

[01:02:51] These are healthy.

[01:02:53] They're bites.

[01:02:54] Did you guys have-

[01:02:54] They're small.

[01:02:55] They're small.

[01:02:55] They're-

[01:02:56] They're small.

[01:02:56] You have a dog on a stick.

[01:02:58] They're healthy because they're small.

[01:02:58] It's a pretzel.

[01:03:00] That's what adults eat.

[01:03:02] It's not candy, so it's healthy for you.

[01:03:04] It's not sweet.

[01:03:05] Yeah.

[01:03:06] Yeah.

[01:03:07] Yeah, I'm beating healthy.

[01:03:08] I'm on a diet.

[01:03:10] Yeah, I'm on a diet.

[01:03:10] I'm having pretzel bites,

[01:03:11] and I'm going to Orange Julius for a smoothie.

[01:03:13] For a juice.

[01:03:15] It helps my body.

[01:03:17] It's healthy for you.

[01:03:20] I had a beyond burger last night,

[01:03:23] gotta say.

[01:03:25] Not bad.

[01:03:26] No, they're not that good.

[01:03:27] You've had them?

[01:03:28] I thought they were going to be great.

[01:03:29] The way people talk about them,

[01:03:31] it's like,

[01:03:32] wow, they're the best ones of all time.

[01:03:34] Suck dick.

[01:03:36] I mean, the texture is pretty good.

[01:03:38] I had a-

[01:03:38] I had a fuck.

[01:03:39] There's a veggie burger in Cleveland.

[01:03:41] At the Green Something,

[01:03:43] Something across the street from hilarities.

[01:03:46] It's the best veggie burger I've ever had in my life, dude.

[01:03:48] Really?

[01:03:49] You got to go there.

[01:03:50] The Green Something tavern.

[01:03:52] Yeah.

[01:03:53] Wait.

[01:03:54] I don't know what they do.

[01:03:54] They got a bean.

[01:03:55] You all went there, didn't we?

[01:03:58] That barbecue place-

[01:03:59] No, stop was in the hotel icing his foot.

[01:04:05] That's right.

[01:04:06] It was me and you.

[01:04:06] We went to the-

[01:04:07] The two of us went, yeah.

[01:04:08] Yeah, that guy was like-

[01:04:09] I forgot it.

[01:04:10] That guy was like,

[01:04:10] the barbecue here is awesome.

[01:04:12] It's Cleveland style.

[01:04:13] And then he got-

[01:04:14] He got to say it was Cleveland style.

[01:04:16] Cleveland style barbecue.

[01:04:17] So we're like, what?

[01:04:18] So yeah, I was like,

[01:04:19] what is Cleveland style barbecue?

[01:04:20] And he's like, well, we got pulled pork brisket.

[01:04:22] Yeah.

[01:04:22] I was like, that's just-

[01:04:23] It's not.

[01:04:24] Yeah.

[01:04:25] We got Cleveland style sauces.

[01:04:29] Yeah, that place sucked.

[01:04:31] Yeah, it was fine.

[01:04:33] But it wasn't Cleveland style.

[01:04:34] Cleveland style, brother.

[01:04:35] Yeah.

[01:04:36] Yeah, Cleveland.

[01:04:37] That was kind of sad.

[01:04:37] That one street where they're like,

[01:04:39] trying to bring back downtown.

[01:04:40] Yeah.

[01:04:40] Fourth street.

[01:04:41] Where it was like-

[01:04:42] There was once a great city there.

[01:04:44] Every city-

[01:04:45] Every city does that,

[01:04:46] and then they pretend that they invented jazz.

[01:04:49] Yeah, exactly.

[01:04:50] Every city-

[01:04:50] It's like some fucking like

[01:04:53] council members just like-

[01:04:54] Dickhead white guy is like,

[01:04:55] remember how we came up with jazz?

[01:04:57] How our city was the jazz city?

[01:04:59] It was the jazz city.

[01:05:00] It's like the Air Force in jazz presents-

[01:05:04] Night time by fucking Milwaukee.

[01:05:07] The city nights.

[01:05:09] But-

[01:05:09] Dude, it was so far-

[01:05:10] When Boston, they have the House of Blues-

[01:05:13] Yeah.

[01:05:13] Right next to Fenway,

[01:05:15] and they have this big mural

[01:05:17] for all these black musicians.

[01:05:21] The Red Sox owner didn't allow

[01:05:23] a black player on his team

[01:05:26] until like 30 years after Jackie Robinson.

[01:05:29] They were the last team to integrate.

[01:05:31] They were the most famously racist organization,

[01:05:33] and they just have this mural

[01:05:35] to these fucking black people

[01:05:36] that this guy would never allow in his ballpark at all.

[01:05:39] Right.

[01:05:39] They're like, well-

[01:05:40] This is where-

[01:05:40] This is where I-

[01:05:40] Invitalize an industrial area.

[01:05:43] Xana Rans, fucking-

[01:05:48] They all do it.

[01:05:51] That is so fucking true.

[01:05:52] Yeah, you're right.

[01:05:53] Baltimore has that.

[01:05:55] You know jazz in fucking Baltimore.

[01:05:56] Cleveland's sad,

[01:05:58] because you can tell that it was like

[01:06:00] an important city at one point.

[01:06:01] Oh, it was important.

[01:06:02] The buildings are really nice.

[01:06:03] In what sense, bro?

[01:06:05] What?

[01:06:06] How?

[01:06:06] How is Cleveland important?

[01:06:08] The Erie Canal?

[01:06:10] No.

[01:06:11] Yeah.

[01:06:11] Yeah.

[01:06:12] Every city was important in the sense that there was-

[01:06:14] No, Cleveland was a major American city for a long time.

[01:06:18] I'm not backing down on this.

[01:06:19] I mean, it's not the way like Detroit was.

[01:06:21] Yeah.

[01:06:22] Like Detroit was like a fucking-

[01:06:24] Like an international city almost.

[01:06:26] Although it was-

[01:06:27] I think it's similar to Detroit's-

[01:06:30] The post-industrial Midwest.

[01:06:32] Nah, Detroit was bigger than Cleveland.

[01:06:34] Yeah.

[01:06:34] I don't know if it was bigger or smaller,

[01:06:36] but Detroit was-

[01:06:36] Detroit was like Chicago.

[01:06:38] It'd be like if Chicago turned into a fucking like,

[01:06:41] there's nothing.

[01:06:43] Cleveland was as good as Baltimore,

[01:06:45] except Baltimore was better.

[01:06:46] Yeah.

[01:06:47] Bitch.

[01:06:48] The best cities-

[01:06:49] Bitch.

[01:06:49] Best cities in the country, right?

[01:06:51] No. 1, Trenton.

[01:06:54] Trenton makes the world take.

[01:06:56] No. 2.

[01:06:56] Dayton, Ohio.

[01:06:57] No. 2, Stockton, California.

[01:07:01] What's Stockton?

[01:07:02] That's just some shit-hole town in Northern California.

[01:07:04] Kissimmee St. Cloud, Florida.

[01:07:06] You just wanted to let everyone know that you know how to say

[01:07:10] the name of that town.

[01:07:11] You looked at it-

[01:07:12] Do you remember that ad for like,

[01:07:13] if you're going to Disney, you stay in Kissimmee.

[01:07:16] That was the old.

[01:07:17] In your head, you were like,

[01:07:18] Ooh, people probably pronounce it wrong,

[01:07:20] but now I know the right way, so I'm going to bring it in.

[01:07:22] I just remember that ad.

[01:07:23] It used to play during like Jerry Springer.

[01:07:25] We're naming cities, and I'm picking one-

[01:07:27] We're naming important cities.

[01:07:28] Not even a city.

[01:07:30] It's also got Disney World.

[01:07:31] It's not even like-

[01:07:32] It's a fake city.

[01:07:33] It's a-

[01:07:34] We're coming up with economically depressed places that always sucked.

[01:07:38] That place probably sucks.

[01:07:40] It's kind of like a middle of the road town that has Disney World.

[01:07:43] Yeah.

[01:07:43] No, Disney World's in Orlando.

[01:07:45] It's next to Orlando.

[01:07:46] It's next to Orlando.

[01:07:47] It doesn't fit.

[01:07:48] I think it fits because-

[01:07:49] It's because it's like-

[01:07:50] You're trying to-

[01:07:51] It doesn't fit the rent out.

[01:07:51] You're trying to bring up again.

[01:07:53] All right.

[01:07:53] You just go-

[01:07:54] You go-

[01:07:54] For the second time this month.

[01:07:55] Just go.

[01:07:56] Just go.

[01:07:57] Just go.

[01:07:58] Did you bring up Kissimmee before?

[01:08:00] He did.

[01:08:00] I think it's the second time I brought it up.

[01:08:02] Yeah, he did.

[01:08:03] So he can-

[01:08:04] Uh, Kissimmee.

[01:08:06] By the way.

[01:08:07] You don't remember that ad.

[01:08:08] He's been fantasizing about an opportunity to correct someone.

[01:08:11] That's why he brought up Disney Plus earlier.

[01:08:13] He's like, maybe we can get-

[01:08:14] No, my thing is saying things wrong.

[01:08:15] Maybe we can-

[01:08:16] My thing is not saying things right.

[01:08:18] And then maybe someone-

[01:08:19] Do not take my thing away from me.

[01:08:20] Maybe someone will say,

[01:08:22] Kissimmee wrong.

[01:08:25] And then I can be like,

[01:08:25] Oh, actually it's Kissimmee.

[01:08:29] That has never happened once.

[01:08:31] It happens now.

[01:08:32] It's literally impossible for someone to-

[01:08:34] You can't contain yourself.

[01:08:36] It happens literally every show.

[01:08:38] Because you can't-

[01:08:38] I'll be willing to-

[01:08:39] You can't even wait for the opportunity to correct someone.

[01:08:42] You just have to-

[01:08:43] You're gonna do this to me in front of my mother.

[01:08:45] Who's watching the show, right?

[01:08:46] Yeah.

[01:08:47] He's watching the live stream.

[01:08:48] She's watching the live stream.

[01:08:49] I don't spend these in the living room on the TV,

[01:08:50] on a Roku watching-

[01:08:52] They're just clapping every time.

[01:08:54] He said, Kissimmee.

[01:08:55] He said it right.

[01:08:57] That's my fault.

[01:09:01] God damn, that would be so funny if my parents ever watched this.

[01:09:04] Yeah.

[01:09:05] Oh my god, please no.

[01:09:10] So what else?

[01:09:11] You want to go back in the economically depressed American decision?

[01:09:14] Oh, um.

[01:09:15] Let me see.

[01:09:17] Oh yeah, the ironic list of the best cities in the country.

[01:09:20] Yeah.

[01:09:20] Are most important rather.

[01:09:22] Most important.

[01:09:23] Yeah.

[01:09:24] As important as Ohio.

[01:09:26] There's Cleveland.

[01:09:26] I guess Troy, New York.

[01:09:29] That's a good one.

[01:09:31] Troy is good.

[01:09:35] Oh, she's-

[01:09:35] She's-

[01:09:36] She's-

[01:09:36] She's-

[01:09:36] She's-

[01:09:36] She's-

[01:09:36] Sport Louisiana.

[01:09:37] She's-

[01:09:38] Sport, yup.

[01:09:39] Yeah.

[01:09:40] Scranton, Pennsylvania?

[01:09:41] Scranton does count, I would say.

[01:09:42] That counts.

[01:09:44] Yup.

[01:09:45] That'd be-

[01:09:45] Although the office-

[01:09:47] Yeah.

[01:09:47] It'd be nice to work.

[01:09:48] Oh, the office was probably big for the economy.

[01:09:50] Trenton, Scranton,

[01:09:51] Office tourism.

[01:09:51] Troy.

[01:09:53] Scunectady,

[01:09:54] Shreddy sport.

[01:09:56] Yeah.

[01:09:56] Fuck you.

[01:09:57] Hoping all the way down to Louisiana for that one.

[01:10:00] Kind of all over here, but we're gonna do one.

[01:10:02] Yes.

[01:10:03] Um.

[01:10:07] Cause Simi's saying cloud Florida.

[01:10:09] No.

[01:10:10] Come on.

[01:10:10] I'm sorry.

[01:10:12] I'm sorry.

[01:10:14] I'm sorry.

[01:10:15] Should I fucking do that-

[01:10:16] That thing where you tattoo little dots on your head?

[01:10:19] Yes.

[01:10:19] It looks like there's-

[01:10:20] So she looks like-

[01:10:21] Of course you should just take a sharpie to it and see how that looks.

[01:10:25] Wasn't there like a-

[01:10:26] Like a-

[01:10:27] A TV ad in like the 80s or something where-

[01:10:30] That looks good, dude.

[01:10:31] It looks full.

[01:10:32] Just started-

[01:10:32] You look at Bushy.

[01:10:33] Yeah, just dotted it.

[01:10:34] Just dot that up.

[01:10:35] Yeah.

[01:10:37] No, stop.

[01:10:38] That's perfect, dude.

[01:10:39] That's permanent, dude.

[01:10:40] That's how you do the record.

[01:10:41] Yeah, that looks good, dude.

[01:10:42] Keep going.

[01:10:42] That looks good.

[01:10:43] Looks really good.

[01:10:44] Yeah, but start with the hairline.

[01:10:46] Put the hairline-

[01:10:46] Start where you want the hairline to be.

[01:10:48] Yeah, you gotta go lower.

[01:10:49] Lower than that.

[01:10:50] No, no.

[01:10:50] Where your-

[01:10:51] I'd say right by the eyebrows.

[01:10:53] You gotta go where you're-

[01:10:53] Awesome, right?

[01:10:54] Yeah.

[01:10:57] What do you do?

[01:10:58] Take your hand and then do this.

[01:11:01] And then with the width of your fingers

[01:11:03] is where your hairline should start.

[01:11:05] From your eyebrows to there.

[01:11:07] I think yeah.

[01:11:08] Okay.

[01:11:08] Just like maybe half an inch above the eyebrow.

[01:11:11] Yeah.

[01:11:12] Yeah, dude.

[01:11:12] That's perfect.

[01:11:14] You can't even tell.

[01:11:18] Oh, yeah.

[01:11:20] Oh, you're looking thick, dude.

[01:11:22] We're getting-

[01:11:23] Men are becoming so much more beautiful than quarantine.

[01:11:26] It's so true.

[01:11:27] And the women look like dogs.

[01:11:29] They look like-

[01:11:31] They're gonna come out of this looking busting.

[01:11:33] They look like fucking dogs.

[01:11:35] The women are gonna have to fuck dogs

[01:11:38] by the end of this spell.

[01:11:39] Yeah.

[01:11:41] We're gonna be so fucking beautiful.

[01:11:42] I'm not fucking no chicks.

[01:11:44] I'm not having sex with girls ever again.

[01:11:46] I'm only fucking my dad at a pot-

[01:11:49] my pot-ness.

[01:11:50] All right.

[01:11:52] Me and my dad-

[01:11:54] my dad had bought and they're gonna fuck.

[01:11:57] Dude, honestly, why do this?

[01:11:59] That looks good, dude.

[01:12:00] Yeah.

[01:12:01] People are like, is that James Bond?

[01:12:07] He's become John Wick, dude.

[01:12:08] Yeah, is that James Bond, the international debonair man of government?

[01:12:17] Any pussy in government?

[01:12:18] Yeah.

[01:12:19] The government servant?

[01:12:21] The public servant James Bond.

[01:12:25] How much does James Bond make?

[01:12:27] $32,000.

[01:12:28] From MI5?

[01:12:29] Yeah, not that much.

[01:12:35] That would be so fucking annoying to be-

[01:12:36] And he's a gambling addict, too.

[01:12:39] Do we ever see-

[01:12:40] Where's the James Bond-

[01:12:41] we ever see his house?

[01:12:42] No.

[01:12:43] Yeah, they never see where he lives.

[01:12:47] Yeah, that's true.

[01:12:48] You never see where James Bond lives.

[01:12:50] Are you not?

[01:12:51] No.

[01:12:52] It'd be funny if they eventually show his house

[01:12:54] and just filled with that bullshit from Target.

[01:12:57] Yeah.

[01:12:58] Like when you hear your-

[01:12:59] Target home.

[01:13:01] Yeah.

[01:13:01] Target home and they're like a fucking-

[01:13:03] like a waltzing grommet Funko pop.

[01:13:05] Yeah, like one of those old like Italian liquor posters.

[01:13:10] So like girls get after they graduate college

[01:13:13] in their first apartment.

[01:13:14] Right.

[01:13:14] They're like it's classy.

[01:13:17] You frame a frame poster.

[01:13:18] A Campari poster.

[01:13:19] Yeah.

[01:13:20] A framed Campari poster from 19th.

[01:13:22] What was Campari?

[01:13:23] A little Campari and so-

[01:13:24] Campari, so it is a nice summer drink.

[01:13:28] Damn.

[01:13:29] I've been drinking here.

[01:13:32] Have you?

[01:13:33] With the old man.

[01:13:34] Yeah.

[01:13:35] You getting fucking toasted?

[01:13:36] Not really.

[01:13:38] I've been getting-

[01:13:38] I've been super in a six p.m.

[01:13:42] Would you say Adam?

[01:13:43] My six p.m.

[01:13:44] Scotch.

[01:13:45] It's a thing that the men in my family do.

[01:13:49] I have to start being a man.

[01:13:51] Like Tea Time?

[01:13:53] Yeah.

[01:13:53] We have a tea time Scotch and then a six p.m.

[01:13:56] Scotch and then an after dinner Scotch.

[01:13:58] They're breakfast Scotch.

[01:13:59] I wish I had a brown Sharpie.

[01:14:01] That would probably work better with my-

[01:14:02] The color of my hair.

[01:14:04] Yeah.

[01:14:04] That's-

[01:14:06] That's really the only problem.

[01:14:07] It's a tone.

[01:14:11] But-

[01:14:12] Now see these are kind of big though.

[01:14:14] If I got little tiny ones I think it would work.

[01:14:19] What do you got in your mouth Adam?

[01:14:21] I don't know.

[01:14:22] It's a piece of cardboard that I found that I've been playing with in my-

[01:14:25] You know how.

[01:14:26] Yeah.

[01:14:27] I know how you get.

[01:14:30] I got a piss boy so I'll be right back.

[01:14:32] I got a piss.

[01:14:36] Did you buy those DVDs Nick?

[01:14:38] What DVDs?

[01:14:40] The ones you sent us from Amazon.

[01:14:42] Oh no I just watched some of that show on YouTube.

[01:14:44] Very funny.

[01:14:45] What is it?

[01:14:46] I don't know.

[01:14:46] Just some like fucking A&E show that's like-

[01:14:50] That's just like shitty television actors doing like-

[01:14:57] Like fucking noir detective stuff.

[01:15:00] But they're all like just like middle-aged fat shows or whatever being like-

[01:15:04] Yo.

[01:15:05] What's the business choppa?

[01:15:09] Right like dumb costumes and all the YouTube comments are great because it's just like

[01:15:13] elderly autistic people.

[01:15:16] And be like-

[01:15:16] They like just miss the show.

[01:15:18] Yeah.

[01:15:18] They're like this quality of English has been unheard.

[01:15:22] You can't find you know-

[01:15:24] What's it called?

[01:15:25] Um.

[01:15:26] Um.

[01:15:28] Neuro wolf A&E's Neuro Wolf.

[01:15:30] And it's just a fat detective?

[01:15:32] Yeah.

[01:15:32] Well the character is like one of those like um-

[01:15:36] Let me see what A&E show-

[01:15:38] Yeah.

[01:15:38] Neuro wolf mystery was the uh-

[01:15:41] Was the A&E show.

[01:15:45] Rex Stout is the author.

[01:15:46] I got a piss fucking two.

[01:15:48] Shit.

[01:15:48] Alright you can leave me.

[01:15:50] I mean-

[01:15:51] Wait for a stop.

[01:15:52] Well yeah I gotta wait for a stop to come back.

[01:15:54] Oh this is gaming chair.

[01:15:56] This is his bed.

[01:15:56] His orthopedic bed.

[01:16:01] I like his headboard.

[01:16:02] It looks like he's like an orphanage or something.

[01:16:06] Um.

[01:16:07] It's nice.

[01:16:08] Yeah I don't know why I just go platform.

[01:16:10] You know if you're gonna have the shittiest bed.

[01:16:13] A platform bed.

[01:16:14] Yeah that's what I have.

[01:16:15] Just go-

[01:16:15] I have a-

[01:16:17] Yeah.

[01:16:18] I've been thinking about getting into bed.

[01:16:20] I still don't know.

[01:16:20] I-

[01:16:21] Like cause-

[01:16:22] But then you-

[01:16:22] I'll continue to read like mattress reviews.

[01:16:25] And I still have no idea.

[01:16:27] They're all over the place.

[01:16:29] Oh yeah.

[01:16:30] Completely.

[01:16:30] Yeah.

[01:16:31] Alright now-

[01:16:31] Do you get a bed in a box?

[01:16:33] Do you get-

[01:16:35] Do you get a stock of what was going on?

[01:16:37] We're uh talking about your gaming chair.

[01:16:39] He was telling us about that TV show

[01:16:40] that he sent us the other day.

[01:16:43] Oh yeah if you smudge it.

[01:16:45] Oh dude if I smudge it it actually looks good for real.

[01:16:48] It actually does look good.

[01:16:49] I said-

[01:16:50] Oh hell yeah dude.

[01:16:52] No that looks like hair.

[01:16:53] That looks like hair bro.

[01:16:55] Do you got big hair?

[01:16:56] You look like Rod Blagoivix right now.

[01:16:59] You got a thick main brother.

[01:17:02] Did Rod get another two paid that's white?

[01:17:05] Or is that his real-

[01:17:06] Wait was it a two pay I think that's just his style?

[01:17:10] Rob's got a two pay I thought.

[01:17:12] Oh I thought he just had a six style.

[01:17:16] Oh yeah dude this one.

[01:17:17] That looks pretty good.

[01:17:19] Yeah I got hair bro.

[01:17:20] You should dye your hair dude.

[01:17:24] What color should I get?

[01:17:25] You're going-

[01:17:26] I'm going through my blonde phase.

[01:17:29] I'm a dumb bitch.

[01:17:30] Maybe I should get-

[01:17:31] I should dye-

[01:17:32] I should get-

[01:17:32] I should dye my sides blonde.

[01:17:34] Yeah I think-

[01:17:35] I should shave them at the center of my head

[01:17:37] and keep the sides-

[01:17:38] Horseshoe style?

[01:17:39] Uh blonde horse.

[01:17:40] That's not blonde dude.

[01:17:41] That's not bad.

[01:17:43] Yeah.

[01:17:44] Why not go two pay?

[01:17:45] Why not go two pay?

[01:17:47] Why not?

[01:17:48] I might.

[01:17:48] I'm open to it.

[01:17:51] How do you keep it on?

[01:17:52] You just glue it?

[01:17:55] I think so.

[01:17:57] I saw some like velcro.

[01:18:00] There's two pay Instagram I got into the other day.

[01:18:02] Really?

[01:18:03] A lot of like very custom dressed up two pay.

[01:18:09] That's awesome.

[01:18:10] Hair stylist that like make your two pay

[01:18:12] like give you that dumb haircut.

[01:18:14] That Maclemore.

[01:18:16] They're like this hairstylist is like changing people's lives.

[01:18:19] They last for like-

[01:18:21] I think you have to get them readjusted every two weeks.

[01:18:23] Dude I'm going.

[01:18:24] I'm getting a two pay fucking-

[01:18:26] I'm getting a two pay until my hair is long enough for a ponytail.

[01:18:30] That's a good look honestly.

[01:18:32] I'm on a ponytail dude.

[01:18:34] But it's good-

[01:18:35] How long do you think a ponytail would take like six months?

[01:18:38] I think longer.

[01:18:40] I don't think I've gotten a haircut in six months and it's just like-

[01:18:42] It's not that long.

[01:18:45] Fuck.

[01:18:45] Are you serious?

[01:18:46] Maybe I could have a small pony at the back though.

[01:18:49] All I need is a small pony at the back dude.

[01:18:52] Yeah you could-

[01:18:52] Oh you could do that in six months for sure.

[01:18:55] For sure.

[01:18:56] What I'm gonna start doing is just maybe trimming the top and leaving the sides

[01:19:01] so the sides keep growing.

[01:19:03] Yeah.

[01:19:05] Put like a number two on top.

[01:19:08] I think that's sick dude.

[01:19:10] That's my plan.

[01:19:11] Yeah.

[01:19:12] Ahh fuck dude.

[01:19:15] Fuck it is wing night isn't it?

[01:19:18] I was thinking-

[01:19:19] You can't break tradition dude.

[01:19:21] I can't break tradition.

[01:19:22] We must keep living.

[01:19:23] We can't look at this virus change us.

[01:19:25] That's true.

[01:19:27] Last wing night we watched the thing.

[01:19:28] That shit rocked.

[01:19:32] You should have a-

[01:19:32] You and your roommates should have a-

[01:19:35] Like a-

[01:19:35] Like a you know theme nights.

[01:19:37] Fancy dress nights.

[01:19:39] What's the theme?

[01:19:41] You can do like uh CEOs and corporate hose.

[01:19:46] You could do one.

[01:19:49] Oh yeah dude.

[01:19:50] Do a pimp pimp-

[01:19:51] Pimp's in hose.

[01:19:53] Yeah do it.

[01:19:55] You know.

[01:19:55] Just like something that a fraternity would get in trouble for.

[01:19:59] Yeah.

[01:19:59] Maybe do a black face tonight.

[01:20:01] Black face tonight.

[01:20:02] No pictures everyone puts their phones away so you can't get cancelled.

[01:20:06] But everyone knows, you know, everyone that's there knows that we're doing something really naughty.

[01:20:12] The best part, remember when like, there's like six months where every politician kept getting in trouble for blackface?

[01:20:19] Remember that guy from Virginia?

[01:20:21] Yeah, he's still the governor, I think.

[01:20:23] Yeah, he's still the governor.

[01:20:24] He was, remember, he was going to moonwalk during it and his wife had to stop him.

[01:20:30] Because he was in black.

[01:20:32] He said he was doing a Michael Jackson competition.

[01:20:35] Which isn't even, he was about to moonwalk.

[01:20:38] You could have done the white face.

[01:20:40] Yeah, you could have just gotten like a wet looking wig and done Michael Jackson when he was white.

[01:20:46] Taped your nose a little bit like small.

[01:20:49] People used to fucking love blackface, dude.

[01:20:52] Yeah, it's a major American art form that now we're not allowed to do it.

[01:20:56] That's true.

[01:20:57] Roger Sterling, remember in Mad Men, he's in blackface?

[01:21:01] They should have a, if doing cosplay will be seen as rude in the future to video characters who are now real.

[01:21:09] Yeah, they should have a way to get married because of the video game.

[01:21:13] The singularity and now video game characters are considered real and it's offensive to dress like cloud.

[01:21:20] Well, I don't know though, because it's not offensive to dress like Jay Z.

[01:21:26] You just can't put blackface on.

[01:21:28] I think it's probably not allowed anymore.

[01:21:32] Even if you're not doing blackface.

[01:21:34] You can dress as Jay Z if you're not like Beyonce and Jay Z.

[01:21:38] There was some post a couple years ago that was like, wow, my son went to school for Halloween this year as his hero, Malcolm X.

[01:21:44] And it didn't require doing any blackface whatsoever.

[01:21:47] And it's just like a white kid wearing a suit with glasses on.

[01:21:51] Yeah.

[01:21:52] And it's like, no, it's more offensive.

[01:21:55] He looks like a nerd.

[01:21:56] He doesn't look like Malcolm X. He has to explain it to everyone.

[01:22:00] It's not his hero.

[01:22:01] You made him do this.

[01:22:02] Yeah, this is his hero is a fire truck.

[01:22:04] Yeah.

[01:22:05] That's like he likes a sky who plays sports.

[01:22:09] There's no way a little fucking dumbass white kid loves Malcolm X.

[01:22:13] Not not when he's four.

[01:22:15] Like you like maybe if he's 11 and a real fucking nerd, sure, but yeah.

[01:22:22] They should what's the guy that did the baseball in the jazz documentary?

[01:22:25] Ken Burns.

[01:22:26] They should do it.

[01:22:27] Ken Burns about blackface.

[01:22:29] Yeah.

[01:22:30] Letters from I try, I try DMR, dear Marge.

[01:22:34] I tried the most incredible thing the other day.

[01:22:37] I greased my face and I appeared to be a Negro.

[01:22:42] Yeah.

[01:22:43] Just that, like older black woman historian that they always go to or whatever.

[01:22:49] And she's like, well, the shoe polish gives you a tactile appreciation for the experience,

[01:22:55] but not a spiritual one.

[01:22:58] She's pro in this documentary.

[01:23:00] Yeah.

[01:23:01] Well, yeah.

[01:23:02] It's like an objective.

[01:23:04] She'll be foot being right.

[01:23:06] Well, not only was blackface a sign of respect, but that in many ways, one could, you know,

[01:23:13] even extrapolate a sense that the blackface actors who may be white were taking a greater

[01:23:20] risk historically than the African American counterparts.

[01:23:24] So in many ways, the Southern white men who chose to be black made more of a sacrifice.

[01:23:32] They're the real heroes.

[01:23:37] Then then the African American.

[01:23:43] Then the, and then it cuts.

[01:23:45] Yeah.

[01:23:46] Yeah.

[01:23:47] African American.

[01:23:48] Yeah.

[01:23:49] Then the African American.

[01:23:52] You just see his mouth.

[01:23:59] Yeah, they do the Conan thing where just another person's mouth over it.

[01:24:06] African American.

[01:24:08] Shouts out to dancing the God doing blackface.

[01:24:15] Ted dance used to have a little ponytail.

[01:24:18] Do you guys remember that?

[01:24:20] Is that your inspo?

[01:24:22] That was fucked up.

[01:24:24] Mel Gibson had a cool ponytail on lethal weapon three.

[01:24:27] So sick.

[01:24:28] That's a good look.

[01:24:30] And he would just like tie it back to make it look like a fucking come over.

[01:24:33] They didn't know what to do after 80s, mullets.

[01:24:36] Yeah.

[01:24:37] My aesthetic post quarantine is going to be Val Kilmer, final machine gun fight in heat,

[01:24:45] where I'm wearing a suit and I have a very slick back ponytail.

[01:24:51] Yeah.

[01:24:52] You can't tell suit is a great combo.

[01:24:53] Well, I can if I get the machine gun.

[01:24:55] You couldn't pull it off.

[01:24:57] I could pull it off.

[01:24:58] You would like to look a kindergarten teacher but a female one.

[01:25:02] I guess you know, you look like a lesbian for kindergarten teacher.

[01:25:07] Point.

[01:25:08] Point taken.

[01:25:10] Damn.

[01:25:11] Maybe I should rewatch Time Cop.

[01:25:13] I have to do this.

[01:25:16] Who's in that?

[01:25:17] Jean Claude Van Dam.

[01:25:19] Do you remember the video game for that?

[01:25:22] Time Cop video game.

[01:25:23] There was an NES game.

[01:25:24] No, I don't.

[01:25:25] No, you're thinking of Time Crisis.

[01:25:27] No, Time Crisis was at the arcade.

[01:25:32] Yeah.

[01:25:33] I think there was a Time Cop NES game.

[01:25:35] I'm making a note to watch Time Cop.

[01:25:38] Yeah.

[01:25:39] Much cinema.

[01:25:40] How about Time Top?

[01:25:44] Time Top.

[01:25:45] Yeah.

[01:25:46] Yeah.

[01:25:47] I have to go into the future to get my penis sucked.

[01:25:54] You don't understand, there is a criminal in his in the future.

[01:25:58] And if I don't go into the future to get my cocksuck, then he is going to do something real bad.

[01:26:05] Very good Jean Claude.

[01:26:07] Just keep doing the splits.

[01:26:09] Keep doing the splits.

[01:26:10] Don't worry.

[01:26:11] We'll dub your, we'll dub you boys.

[01:26:13] Yeah.

[01:26:14] Hey, why don't you come take a look at my face, tough guy.

[01:26:17] Hey.

[01:26:18] Always be ready.

[01:26:20] Always be ready.

[01:26:25] He's the worst of all of them.

[01:26:27] Yeah.

[01:26:28] Yeah.

[01:26:29] As an actor for sure.

[01:26:30] As an actor.

[01:26:31] What a great martial artist.

[01:26:32] Oh, the best in that regard.

[01:26:33] Yeah.

[01:26:34] The only one who could actually fight of all the 80s guys, it's basically just, it's basically

[01:26:38] Stallone and Schwarzenegger.

[01:26:39] They're the tops and then Van Dam is right underneath, I would say.

[01:26:43] Yeah.

[01:26:44] Could you all fight?

[01:26:46] Skalno's, Skalno's a key though.

[01:26:49] Skalno's.

[01:26:50] Skalno's, yeah.

[01:26:51] He was, I'm just talking in terms of stars.

[01:26:53] Star power.

[01:26:54] What about Lundgren?

[01:26:56] Lundgren just shot guns.

[01:26:58] Lundgren was.

[01:26:59] Lundgren would never the star.

[01:27:01] Yeah, Lundgren was actually a like a real kickboxer.

[01:27:05] Yeah.

[01:27:06] He's also, Andy was a scientist.

[01:27:08] Yeah, he's like a genius.

[01:27:10] He's really smart and real.

[01:27:12] Yeah, Lundgren is a like a true badass, I guess.

[01:27:16] But.

[01:27:17] He's just going to show you, it doesn't matter if you're smart.

[01:27:20] Yeah.

[01:27:21] Well, I think it's time to go watch time, Cobb.

[01:27:23] Sounds good to me, man.

[01:27:24] Yeah.

[01:27:25] That sounds good.

[01:27:26] I got to have a lunch.

[01:27:27] Yeah.

[01:27:28] It's lunch time in the West coast.

[01:27:29] I think I'm going to have leftover lasagna.

[01:27:31] Ooh, lasagna.

[01:27:32] And then I'm going to do, digest and then do, do my burpees.

[01:27:36] What are you going to do?

[01:27:37] Post-l

[01:27:40] You jump up.

[01:27:41] No, but he doesn't push up.

[01:27:42] His dad puts, his dad puts him on his shoulder and taps back.

[01:27:46] This is what Adam thinks burpees are.

[01:27:48] He's a baby, but then also the woman slapped by the baby.

[01:27:51] No, I don't know.

[01:27:54] He needs to film so I can see that I'm doing my form, right?

[01:27:58] Yeah.

[01:27:59] That would be, I was with your dad, just as a big ass old-ass camera.

[01:28:04] Yeah, just like I-

[01:28:05] Just throw that at him.

[01:28:06] Just from the early family videos from the early 90s.

[01:28:09] He's got olive oil and a little misting bottle.

[01:28:12] He keeps hitting you with it.

[01:28:14] We edited it together on the computer.

[01:28:18] God damn.

[01:28:19] It's so funny how little she gets done.

[01:28:22] After talking with you guys for an hour and a half, I'm like,

[01:28:25] well, that was a busy day time before.

[01:28:27] That was work.

[01:28:28] Right.

[01:28:29] I'm just going to go back to being mad about my keys.

[01:28:31] I'm already good at them for them.

[01:28:32] Oh man.

[01:28:33] I feel like I've done a pretty bad job containing just how-

[01:28:36] No, you kept it down.

[01:28:38] How fucking angry I am.

[01:28:40] About lasagna.

[01:28:41] You're the man who has lost so many of his things I commend you

[01:28:44] for being- just to even talk.

[01:28:47] Alright, well, see you later folks.

[01:28:49] Folks, goodbye.