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Ep. 204 - DLC

Cum Town | Regular | 04/23/2020

[00:00:00] Okay, sorry about that folks Adam was just letting us know that he uh...
[00:00:06] He just pissed.
[00:00:07] He pissed his pants.
[00:00:09] I peed my pants. I have like a sensory return to my youth when I'm here.
[00:00:15] Yeah, that sucks dude. What do you think it was?
[00:00:20] I remember this time that my dad watching me get beat up by girls.
[00:00:24] He's swimming pool.
[00:00:26] Nice. Did that really happen?
[00:00:28] It did happen once. Yeah, we were at our...
[00:00:31] We used to live in an apartment complex.
[00:00:35] We lived in an apartment complex and they had a pool there and a bunch of uh...
[00:00:39] Hell yeah.
[00:00:40] I mean I don't want to make a class judgment but white trash girls were throwing me in the pool.
[00:00:43] Damn man.
[00:00:44] And uh...
[00:00:45] And he was just sitting there watching it.
[00:00:47] I missed his stories.
[00:00:48] This was two weeks ago and a bunch of six year old.
[00:00:50] Yeah, they were...
[00:00:51] The whole family went to the pool pool.
[00:00:53] They were like seniors in high school and I was like in sixth grade.
[00:00:57] But yes, I was being bullied by women.
[00:00:59] Actually, what happened is this happened last week and they were four years old.
[00:01:02] No, this didn't happen last week. There's a shutdown order we wouldn't be at the pool.
[00:01:05] We're responsible citizens.
[00:01:07] Yeah, but they have testing.
[00:01:08] You weren't a shirt.
[00:01:10] Yeah dude, I had to go.
[00:01:11] I'm wearing a shirt. I only literally...
[00:01:13] Yeah, that's true.
[00:01:14] I brought like three shirts because I thought I was going to be here for a week.
[00:01:16] Why would he be asking you that question?
[00:01:18] What?
[00:01:19] Why would he be asking you that question?
[00:01:21] I thought Nick meant I'm wearing a collared shirt.
[00:01:23] Yeah.
[00:01:24] I've been shirtless every time we've done this for the last...
[00:01:27] Okay, I'm sorry.
[00:01:28] You just said on edge because we've exposed the fact that you were recently beat up by children
[00:01:33] and you called the white trash.
[00:01:34] I was a recent. It was when I was a kid.
[00:01:37] I think at that point we were probably also in that socioeconomic bracket.
[00:01:42] But whatever.
[00:01:43] I keep forgetting to refill my pipe before we start this shit.
[00:01:47] Dude.
[00:01:48] I'm annoyed.
[00:01:49] You got the pipe.
[00:01:50] I got the green juice going.
[00:01:51] I got the jeweled green pipe.
[00:01:54] It is a really nice color green.
[00:01:56] That's my favorite color.
[00:01:57] This is why I started smoking a pipe again because I saw this pipe and I was like,
[00:02:01] fuck, I've got to have that.
[00:02:02] That's a good pipe.
[00:02:03] Hunter green.
[00:02:04] I love you.
[00:02:05] Anybody that's never been to a tobaccanist go there because it's like a style of customer
[00:02:11] service that hasn't existed for like a hundred years.
[00:02:14] Yes.
[00:02:15] It's a guy in a suit.
[00:02:17] And a hat though also.
[00:02:18] It just can't wait to make you a gentleman.
[00:02:21] What Stanley Tucci does is a gay man for women.
[00:02:26] Yes.
[00:02:27] These guys are like, you know, they're all Andres but not a hint of like, you know, trying
[00:02:33] that none of that like.
[00:02:35] They're neutered sexually.
[00:02:36] They're not trying to make you cool.
[00:02:38] They're trying to make you a gentleman.
[00:02:39] A gentleman.
[00:02:40] And there's their classic men.
[00:02:42] Jidenta style.
[00:02:43] They're kind of Jidenta style, but there's no flourish to it.
[00:02:45] You know, I mean, it's absolutely no.
[00:02:47] It's kind of swag.
[00:02:48] Yeah, they're like, they're like Albert, I guess, like fucking, you know, Albert who can we
[00:02:55] have?
[00:02:56] We pick out a pipe master wine Alfred.
[00:02:59] Oh, Alfred.
[00:03:00] Yes, they're there to serve.
[00:03:02] Yeah.
[00:03:03] And they're so excited that somebody wants to get into pipes, you know, because it's like,
[00:03:07] Oh, if you're under 60 years old and you go in there, dude, they're fucking thrilled.
[00:03:11] Yeah.
[00:03:12] I went in there one time and there was a guy or what was this time to get this thing.
[00:03:17] There was a guy just staring at the window complaining about immigrants smoking a cigar.
[00:03:23] Oh, yeah.
[00:03:24] Those are places that's this this is the kind of place you're getting there.
[00:03:27] It's a safe space.
[00:03:29] Have you been a I watched there's like a bunch of cigar lounges in bedside and I didn't
[00:03:35] try to watch it.
[00:03:36] One of them.
[00:03:37] Good.
[00:03:38] There's one on Tomkins.
[00:03:39] There's one Tomkins.
[00:03:41] Yeah.
[00:03:42] I went there once to watch a Sunday night football game because I didn't have TV and it was pretty
[00:03:47] fun hanging out with those guys.
[00:03:49] They have some good opinions.
[00:03:50] Yeah.
[00:03:51] I'm sure they appreciate you being there too.
[00:03:53] Yeah.
[00:03:54] They're taking photos of them.
[00:03:56] I didn't take pictures of the flash kept going off.
[00:03:59] I respected the space.
[00:04:00] I was like whoops.
[00:04:01] Nick literally looks like Joshua and Benji.
[00:04:08] You have to see these I saw the other day trying to enjoy their life.
[00:04:16] I saw a bunch of.
[00:04:19] I was with.
[00:04:21] I was with two non Jews.
[00:04:25] One of them was actually black, but actually now you're counting.
[00:04:29] Yes, I was.
[00:04:30] I have a quota.
[00:04:32] No, I was I was, you know, it's not my space.
[00:04:35] It's still tasty.
[00:04:36] I got you.
[00:04:38] I got your brother.
[00:04:40] It's still tastes nice even though there's no, you know, I can't get any.
[00:04:44] Maybe I should start smoking cigars, dude.
[00:04:47] Dude, you get a pipe.
[00:04:49] It's different.
[00:04:50] It's a much different taste.
[00:04:51] It's like a lot nicer.
[00:04:52] Yeah.
[00:04:53] I might do because I'm having smoked weed and I'm getting fucking bored.
[00:04:56] I want to start doing drugs.
[00:04:57] I haven't drank.
[00:04:58] I haven't smoked weed.
[00:04:59] I tried.
[00:05:00] I tried doing weed on Forte.
[00:05:03] I can't handle it anymore.
[00:05:05] I'm getting a headache.
[00:05:06] Yeah.
[00:05:07] You're just getting a headache.
[00:05:08] Getting high.
[00:05:09] I had an edible at night and then I was just alone in bed being like everyone in your
[00:05:13] life hates you.
[00:05:14] Yeah.
[00:05:15] You're a terrible person.
[00:05:16] Yeah.
[00:05:17] Yeah.
[00:05:18] You'll never see your friends again.
[00:05:19] I opened your mind to the truth.
[00:05:21] Yeah.
[00:05:22] No lies detected.
[00:05:23] Open my third eye.
[00:05:24] You see God's truth.
[00:05:26] I got to say sober.
[00:05:28] God spoke to me.
[00:05:30] How come no one ever says that with the bad drifts?
[00:05:33] That's true.
[00:05:34] They're like, yeah, I had a great trip.
[00:05:35] I met God.
[00:05:36] It's like, yeah, I had a really bad one.
[00:05:37] I met God and he confirmed that I'm just a fucking narcissist doing drugs.
[00:05:41] I'm a piece of shit.
[00:05:43] No one will love me.
[00:05:44] My dick is small.
[00:05:45] Having early teenage experiences with drugs up until age 40.
[00:05:51] I used to be so good at weed, man.
[00:05:53] Yeah.
[00:05:54] I really, back in my day, I used to be great at it.
[00:05:57] I completely lost it.
[00:05:59] Yeah.
[00:06:00] I can't.
[00:06:01] I think.
[00:06:02] I don't know.
[00:06:03] If I start smoking weed, it's really game over because I'm barely doing anything right
[00:06:06] now anyway.
[00:06:07] If I smoke weed, it's just going to be like just watching for me today.
[00:06:12] A couple months ago, I tried to get back into it and I bought a bong at Chelsea market.
[00:06:17] Salud for that.
[00:06:18] Yeah.
[00:06:19] Yeah.
[00:06:20] Yeah.
[00:06:21] I bought a bong, but it's just I can't.
[00:06:22] It's just I get too faded, man.
[00:06:23] I can't do it.
[00:06:24] It's a weird Chelsea market purchase.
[00:06:26] I know.
[00:06:27] I was I was I thought it was funny that they had a bong school.
[00:06:30] Chelsea markets where you go to get like a fuck Trump bamboo steamer.
[00:06:35] Yes, it is.
[00:06:36] Yes.
[00:06:37] Or to have a meeting at Google.
[00:06:39] Right.
[00:06:40] And then the Nancy Pelosi oven mitt for a baby.
[00:06:44] Yes, absolutely.
[00:06:45] You're just marketing it.
[00:06:48] My friend was some of my in DC foodie with Sunday a couple months ago when he had a kid.
[00:06:53] They have a baby store in DC that's just like she persisted onesies.
[00:06:56] Hell yeah.
[00:06:57] I mean, DC's the absolute fucking worst for that.
[00:07:01] Dude, absolutely.
[00:07:02] Have you been to DC since Trump won?
[00:07:06] Walking.
[00:07:07] I mean, that city was already like pushing it.
[00:07:10] And now it's like fucking completely over the edge.
[00:07:14] When I saw the DTLR became a soul cycle, that was.
[00:07:18] You should you should took a big hit that day, brother.
[00:07:21] Yeah.
[00:07:22] Dude, I mean, I remember there was like there was some store like one of those like apothecary
[00:07:27] fucking mason jar light bulb stores in pet.
[00:07:30] In pet worth.
[00:07:32] And this was already, I don't know what eight years ago.
[00:07:34] That must have been 2012.
[00:07:36] Yeah.
[00:07:37] They got in early and they they had stuff with their Edison bulb.
[00:07:40] Yeah, they had stuff that like, you know, shirts like for babies that say I am pet worth.
[00:07:45] Oh my gosh.
[00:07:47] Like literally that you are older than the gentrification in this fucking neighborhood.
[00:07:55] I am the child.
[00:07:57] My grandfather did buy my dad a house in a neighborhood that black people used to live
[00:08:02] in up until 10 years.
[00:08:03] You can still smell the exhaust fumes from the U-hole from the black family that had
[00:08:07] to move to P.A. County.
[00:08:09] It could not be any less you stupid fucking baby.
[00:08:16] I would love to just tell that baby.
[00:08:18] Fuck that baby.
[00:08:19] Get that baby.
[00:08:20] My piece of mine.
[00:08:21] Yes, you're my piece of mine.
[00:08:23] You're ignoring its dad.
[00:08:24] You're like, fuck you.
[00:08:25] Fuck you.
[00:08:26] What do you think?
[00:08:27] How dare you?
[00:08:28] Yeah.
[00:08:29] You guys like fuck off.
[00:08:30] He's like, I'm not this is not between this between me and the baby sir.
[00:08:33] Shut your fucking mouth.
[00:08:35] You put the shirt on him because you wanted him to experience this.
[00:08:39] Fuck that baby's not even going to live to see pet like it's like a remember pet worth
[00:08:47] there.
[00:08:48] That baby's parents are moving out and renting that to fucking fucking losers and then going
[00:08:53] to fucking.
[00:08:54] I don't know back to fucking Alexandria Chevy Chase.
[00:08:58] Oh yeah.
[00:08:59] Yeah, I was I was in DC somewhat recently.
[00:09:02] I'm trying to there was a handful of like really obnoxious things that I heard and saw
[00:09:08] and it was too much overwhelming.
[00:09:10] Yeah, like I I can't cast a group of people and they were saying something about there
[00:09:14] was like it's the opening was there was a yoga instructor and they were like doing something
[00:09:19] about not assuming people's pronouns and how it was really cool actually.
[00:09:23] Like I just like there was all of these things that they were just going to do PR for fucking
[00:09:29] a missile company.
[00:09:30] Right.
[00:09:31] Exactly.
[00:09:32] They're they're they're loud Twitter account for fucking.
[00:09:34] Yeah.
[00:09:35] To post like how like fucking their gender.
[00:09:40] Yeah, they're like except all different.
[00:09:42] This is actually I work for a non-profit that accuses victims of sexual assault of being
[00:09:49] Russian bots.
[00:09:53] Yeah, DC sucks.
[00:09:57] So much cock.
[00:09:58] Now I wish there's I mean there's like fuck Trump stickers everywhere and fucking like
[00:10:03] just imagine like you're like you're doing micro Banksy graffiti in 2020.
[00:10:10] Hell yes.
[00:10:12] They do they just found out about Banksy.
[00:10:15] Those people love Banksy.
[00:10:18] I saw a really good t-shirt last time I was there which it was a like a you know like
[00:10:24] Rosie the Riveter looking at bitch awareness any responsible adult 2020 shirt just like
[00:10:32] brutal.
[00:10:35] Any respect.
[00:10:37] They are definitely the broad if Hillary won we'd be a brunch ass mother fuck that's
[00:10:41] the most if Hillary won we'd be a brunch right now ask that's a in the crying at the Javits
[00:10:46] center type bit.
[00:10:47] The whole city right now is on one group zoom meeting having brunch and looking out their
[00:10:52] window looking for neighbors to call the police on for not.
[00:10:59] They're all they all cannot wait to send somebody to jail for not social distancing.
[00:11:05] It's a golden age for snitching these days.
[00:11:08] It must be nice Adam.
[00:11:09] Do you feel good about that?
[00:11:11] No, I haven't snitched once I've been doing my part.
[00:11:13] I looked at it all the time was a virus to get like anybody even remotely to the left
[00:11:18] of center to be against the idea of like freedom in its entirety.
[00:11:23] Like anything revolving like people are like we want liberty and people are like why are
[00:11:27] you racist.
[00:11:28] It's just the entire concept is just gone and that you should be calling the police on
[00:11:34] people.
[00:11:35] Nobody's even like I mean this people that like understand instinctually that it's wrong
[00:11:39] but they're not saying anything.
[00:11:41] Yeah.
[00:11:42] Where's the diplomacy?
[00:11:44] You should call the police on people violating if children are social distancing or not social
[00:11:48] distancing you should call the police on them.
[00:11:50] Yeah.
[00:11:51] And our reasonable people are in a position where they have to be like well he's wrong
[00:11:55] but you know you should call the police on those children.
[00:12:01] Yeah, you can't be fucking snitching man.
[00:12:08] It stops snitching Carmelo Anthony.
[00:12:10] You know what I'm saying?
[00:12:12] I would never talk to the police.
[00:12:15] Never dude.
[00:12:16] Absolutely.
[00:12:17] I never have.
[00:12:19] Have you never have you ever had a conversation with a police officer?
[00:12:22] Well when I got punched in the face that one time I you spit in his face you're like fuck
[00:12:26] you pig.
[00:12:27] No it was by a crack.
[00:12:29] I just told them I was like no no punching people in the face around.
[00:12:33] No no that's what you said to the cop who tried to help you.
[00:12:36] Fuck you pig.
[00:12:38] I'll never tell on a fellow brother of Brooklyn or a fellow brother of Bedstuy.
[00:12:42] Yeah, spread.
[00:12:44] Spread love it's the Brooklyn Way officer.
[00:12:47] Have you ever heard of the notorious B.I.G. officer?
[00:12:52] Live from Bedford Stuyvesant the liveest one.
[00:12:55] Dude I really wanted to get Nick and I those alternate nets jerseys this year that said
[00:13:02] Bedstuy on them.
[00:13:03] You absolutely should.
[00:13:04] That'd be so funny just walking to the bodega way.
[00:13:07] Just like a $200 authentic jersey.
[00:13:11] I just get a 4 XL just a dress.
[00:13:17] Black history month and a tattooed on my face.
[00:13:21] Just going.
[00:13:23] Hey what's up?
[00:13:25] Just do you have any wishing everyone a happy black.
[00:13:28] Let me get a let me get this 40 ounce of Saint-Aids and do you have any Kente cloth
[00:13:33] dew rags?
[00:13:35] Yeah, I know it's March but I'm trying to keep the party going.
[00:13:41] The after party.
[00:13:45] March is the after party to black history month.
[00:13:47] Yeah, let me get a chopped cheese in a Kente cloth dew rag baby.
[00:13:52] March is the hotel lobby.
[00:13:53] You know what I'm saying?
[00:13:54] Yeah, no I stayed here throughout the coronavirus.
[00:13:56] So I'm allowed to do all this.
[00:14:01] I didn't leave.
[00:14:02] I earned my stripes.
[00:14:07] I moved in right before and I stayed throughout.
[00:14:14] Do you think there's people that are going to be buying up fucking parts of Brooklyn or
[00:14:20] some shit because of this shit?
[00:14:22] I wonder if there's going to be like a I don't I think probably the real estate dip was a
[00:14:27] couple weeks ago to get in there.
[00:14:30] You could have gotten something cheap.
[00:14:32] But there's always like foreign money coming in.
[00:14:34] What about all the like fucking mom and pop stores that are going to close?
[00:14:38] Those are really happening.
[00:14:39] I mean half the half the bodegas are now that like natural grosser bullshit.
[00:14:43] That's true.
[00:14:44] But is that a chain or just a market?
[00:14:46] You know what this means that I didn't think about?
[00:14:49] Suites for the sweeties is fucking closed boys.
[00:14:51] You know it's a cool thing that's we never got to go to the streets or the three days.
[00:14:56] And we never had got to have a malt to share a malt that sweets for sweeties.
[00:14:59] So cool thing that they do in New York is like you know all those Kennedy fried chicken
[00:15:03] places.
[00:15:04] Yeah.
[00:15:05] So I mean it's like a it's like pretty close to being like a trademark violation of Kentucky
[00:15:10] fried chicken.
[00:15:11] Yeah.
[00:15:12] Hell yeah.
[00:15:13] But the intellectual property of Kentucky Kennedy fried chicken isn't enforced internally.
[00:15:19] So it's like this any black person can just open a business called Kennedy fried chicken.
[00:15:24] That rocks.
[00:15:25] That's awesome because there was a Kennedy fried chicken in East Baltimore that I thought
[00:15:28] was a chain but the menu is completely different from anything.
[00:15:32] There's just a name any of them can use and there was one that changes into Obama fried
[00:15:36] chicken.
[00:15:37] I think it's still Obama fried chicken.
[00:15:41] Hell yeah.
[00:15:42] I can't wait for Adam to a guy in that in like a bedside Jersey to be like um oh why
[00:15:49] don't you just call it war criminal fried chicken.
[00:15:51] Yes.
[00:15:52] Showing up.
[00:15:53] Thank you.
[00:15:54] Do you know how many people were killed at weddings?
[00:15:57] My drones sir.
[00:16:00] Have you no honor?
[00:16:01] Just to give many guys.
[00:16:02] It's not going to give a fuck at all.
[00:16:04] I love their I love their I love that it's like no standardized menu and also what they
[00:16:10] have on the menus is like pizza.
[00:16:12] Yeah.
[00:16:13] Fucking fried chicken, subs, ice cream for some Chinese food.
[00:16:18] Yeah.
[00:16:19] Some some of the egg rolls and low mane and rocks.
[00:16:21] Yeah.
[00:16:22] Yeah.
[00:16:23] Apparently it's a good one that's like whole all that's very good.
[00:16:25] The one by where Nick lives.
[00:16:27] The one on fuck in Baltimore's.
[00:16:28] Oh, they had awesome chicken boxes.
[00:16:30] I'm actually now nostalgic for it.
[00:16:32] I'm so hungry, dude.
[00:16:33] I was going to go on that guy fucking bullshit.
[00:16:36] Yeah.
[00:16:37] Yeah.
[00:16:38] I I.
[00:16:39] Oh yeah.
[00:16:40] I went ground turkey because again I need nothing but like lean protein.
[00:16:50] Ground to his bird.
[00:16:51] 99% lean.
[00:16:52] I made a whole like I was hacking peanuts.
[00:16:56] I made a bolognese a couple of days ago with ground turkey.
[00:16:59] It tasted very good.
[00:17:00] Yeah, but you probably use like the regular ground turkey that has like that's what like
[00:17:04] 93% lean or so.
[00:17:06] Oh, yeah.
[00:17:07] Even that even that little bit of fat like makes a world of difference plus all the sauce
[00:17:11] you probably put olive oil.
[00:17:12] Yeah, you put a bunch of shit in there.
[00:17:13] I just used rare.
[00:17:14] In fact, the best the best shit for like making breakfast sausages is is like a fatty ground
[00:17:20] turkey.
[00:17:21] When I used to make like breakfast patties, I preferred that a report.
[00:17:24] Really?
[00:17:25] Yeah.
[00:17:26] It's a little like rosemary fucking black pepper, maybe a little bit of sage.
[00:17:30] Yeah.
[00:17:31] Yeah.
[00:17:32] Red pepper.
[00:17:33] Is any ground turkey fatty though or are you talking like the 90 10?
[00:17:35] I got the shit that's fucking yeah like 90 10.
[00:17:37] I'm talking like the like I have 99% fat free ground.
[00:17:41] Where the fuck do you even buy that at the grocery at the grocery store is just opened
[00:17:45] up.
[00:17:46] Yeah.
[00:17:47] I need to get some fucking psyllium husks because I'm shooting like once a week now and it
[00:17:52] like destroys the toilet every time.
[00:17:57] What are we talking just a big fat lump of shit?
[00:17:59] Well, it's just like dancing and the toilet won't flush.
[00:18:03] Bro, let me tell you the shits are flowing in this apartment.
[00:18:09] Yeah, I mean, it's a flowing like a faucet.
[00:18:11] I had I was like, I ate nothing but fucking peppers as like a meal, you know, to like
[00:18:18] I'm like, I'm going to get all my fiber in and force for something through here, nothing.
[00:18:22] Smoothies brother.
[00:18:24] That's why I'm drinking these smoothies.
[00:18:26] The smoothies.
[00:18:27] This shit.
[00:18:28] Oh, my run was right.
[00:18:29] The problem with smoothies is like, you know, you have them like then you just blew a whole
[00:18:33] meal on like a drink.
[00:18:35] Now, dude, you like this shit is literally you're not bag of spinach.
[00:18:40] I know, but you're not on like a like a calorie deficit.
[00:18:43] So like the motherfucker, I'm saying this much spinach is like 70 calories.
[00:18:47] So you got nothing in there, but fucking spinach.
[00:18:49] I have I have like a couple of some frozen berries and literally water.
[00:18:53] Yeah, but the berries shit.
[00:18:55] I mean, that's a little bit more.
[00:18:56] I mean, I would say you put an apple in there, some apple juice or something to fucking sweeten
[00:19:00] it up, but just trying to go like green smoothie.
[00:19:02] That's like fucking kale and nothing.
[00:19:04] It tastes like shit.
[00:19:05] It's disgusting.
[00:19:06] The only healthy thing I eat of, you know, my whole life.
[00:19:10] Yeah.
[00:19:11] Yeah.
[00:19:12] I mean, that's the only thing keeping my system flowing during this pandemic is I have one
[00:19:15] of these disgusting green smoothies every day and I shit out the I also made some fucking
[00:19:19] burger yesterday was burger night.
[00:19:21] Yeah, as requested by my roommates and I got in the kitchen and I shafted up.
[00:19:25] I got to figure out a way to get through the rest of these fucking Kirkland burger patties
[00:19:28] because I those those are real fatty and I have those in my house.
[00:19:33] I plug them in and it's like they're two I can't use them.
[00:19:36] That's like you do half you could fucking break them up with turkey.
[00:19:39] Now what I'm doing is I eat the whole thing because they're frozen.
[00:19:42] So I eat the whole thing.
[00:19:43] Yeah, and then I just subtract that fat from the next meal, you know, just to get through
[00:19:48] it.
[00:19:49] But I see you brother.
[00:19:50] Yeah.
[00:19:51] I would want some Kirkland.
[00:19:53] Yeah, I made what I did.
[00:19:55] I need more.
[00:19:56] Get a mix more fiber.
[00:19:57] I could maybe I could just be drinking more water too, but I mean, I'm like not shitting
[00:20:01] no energy.
[00:20:02] Get lean, bro.
[00:20:03] Getting lean for sure.
[00:20:04] That's good.
[00:20:05] Yeah.
[00:20:06] You're going to come out of this like a little butterfly, dude.
[00:20:07] Like a sexy little butterfly.
[00:20:13] Well, this will probably go on for another 18 months.
[00:20:17] So I'll probably weigh 10 pounds.
[00:20:19] What an answer.
[00:20:20] You're going to be the machinist.
[00:20:22] Yeah.
[00:20:23] But your cock will he look huge.
[00:20:26] That's what I hear.
[00:20:27] Your dick looks awesome.
[00:20:28] Really?
[00:20:29] Where have I heard this before?
[00:20:31] We talked about this.
[00:20:34] Are you serious?
[00:20:36] I thought you were saying that as a joke.
[00:20:38] This has come up.
[00:20:39] It's come up like five times in the last three months.
[00:20:43] Bro, I don't remember anything we talk about ever on this fucking show.
[00:20:47] Yeah, me and you.
[00:20:48] It feels like we just have a conversation.
[00:20:50] I don't log our conversations in my head.
[00:20:53] Someone has.
[00:20:54] Yeah.
[00:20:55] That's for damn sure.
[00:20:57] That's true.
[00:20:58] Well, yeah, I haven't even I can't even play doom eternal anymore.
[00:21:02] I'm just like I just stare at the fucking energy.
[00:21:04] Yeah.
[00:21:06] I've been getting kind of muscular.
[00:21:08] No, yeah.
[00:21:09] I shouldn't have said that.
[00:21:10] I shouldn't have said that.
[00:21:11] And there you have it.
[00:21:12] What do you do?
[00:21:13] You're so full of yourself.
[00:21:15] I'm too humble.
[00:21:16] I'm too humble.
[00:21:17] You do two pushups and you're like I look good or whatever.
[00:21:20] No, that's not true.
[00:21:21] Maybe you can burp these and pull it.
[00:21:23] Once a year you'll pretend like you're going to the gym and then just lie about what you
[00:21:27] can bench.
[00:21:28] No, I've been I've been doing every day since I've been.
[00:21:30] It's always like, yeah, I'm benching like 145.
[00:21:33] No, don't bring it up.
[00:21:37] Don't bring that up Nick.
[00:21:38] What a 12 year old girl should be able to.
[00:21:41] There's a picture that Nick has on his phone that he uses.
[00:21:45] I haven't brought it.
[00:21:46] That is one of your most unflattering pictures I've ever seen in my life.
[00:21:49] It's pretty embarrassing.
[00:21:50] I was honestly I gasped when I saw how much of a bitch you look for.
[00:21:55] Anytime I was bad, I didn't want to look like that.
[00:21:57] Anytime we're arguing things get too hot, Nick can just reply with the picture.
[00:22:01] It's about the gym like I've only dropped that on you when you specifically try to like
[00:22:05] make fun of me for going to the gym.
[00:22:08] No, I didn't make fun of you.
[00:22:09] You go to the gym too.
[00:22:10] I've never been in front of you.
[00:22:11] You're bad at it.
[00:22:12] You're bad at the gym.
[00:22:13] Yeah.
[00:22:14] Do we have the same goals?
[00:22:16] You just suck.
[00:22:17] It'd be like if I was like, oh, I'm going to take I'm going to go.
[00:22:20] I'm going to go, you know, I don't know the racetrack or something.
[00:22:23] You with your car and then I post pictures of you crying at like a go-kart course.
[00:22:31] They go, remember that?
[00:22:33] Yeah.
[00:22:34] You remember when you said I'm getting really into racing and then you cried because four
[00:22:38] your goals beat you up.
[00:22:39] The shape your body is.
[00:22:41] I shouldn't.
[00:22:42] I said that.
[00:22:43] I'm one of the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.
[00:22:46] I take it back.
[00:22:47] I just have never seen someone struggle with that little weight and it makes you look
[00:22:52] worse.
[00:22:53] Your body doesn't even look bad.
[00:22:55] Normally it makes you look truly like an emaciated woman.
[00:23:00] I was not struggling.
[00:23:02] I was doing just the bar for form before I put the waist on, but it does look like I'm
[00:23:07] ventressing just the bar.
[00:23:09] But the thing I put weights on it.
[00:23:11] But your form is terrible.
[00:23:12] Yes.
[00:23:13] The form is which horrible.
[00:23:14] Yeah.
[00:23:15] The form was bad.
[00:23:16] The form was bad.
[00:23:17] And you look like.
[00:23:18] It looks like you're doing this thing.
[00:23:19] They look fucking aggrieved.
[00:23:20] It looks like you're doing a Joaquin Phoenix make your body look shitty and fucked up in
[00:23:27] the joke.
[00:23:28] Yeah, I like the Joker.
[00:23:29] It's like that thing that he does.
[00:23:30] That's how you look.
[00:23:31] He's really good when he does that.
[00:23:34] It's very talented.
[00:23:35] He just looks like that.
[00:23:38] You watch the master's body actually.
[00:23:39] His posture's all fucked up in the master too.
[00:23:41] I know he's supposed to be playing a crazy guy, but it's like I don't think.
[00:23:44] Well, he's supposed to in the master, I think he's a guy who got like shell shocked from
[00:23:48] the war.
[00:23:49] So I think it's supposed to look like he was injured or something.
[00:23:51] Does he ever been jacked in a movie?
[00:23:54] No, that would be cool.
[00:23:56] I don't think so.
[00:23:57] Have you seen the movie where he maybe gladiated?
[00:23:58] He killed the bunch.
[00:23:59] Everybody's got to have like, you know, you were the little outfit.
[00:24:02] Yeah.
[00:24:03] Who's crazy?
[00:24:04] He's semi in Rome or not Rome in 300 where everyone had to be jacked.
[00:24:08] Like even the character that's like the mailman.
[00:24:11] Yeah, yeah.
[00:24:12] The guy that's just the guy that's back in Sparta who like is just, you know, he hangs
[00:24:16] out at the bar.
[00:24:17] He's like, well, we had like a war or something.
[00:24:19] And he's just got like a six back.
[00:24:20] He's like, Oh, yeah, I don't know about that.
[00:24:23] I work in even the fucked up like retarded guy that snitches on them as like abs underneath
[00:24:28] his fucked up.
[00:24:29] Like, yeah, he's like a strong, but like it's weird.
[00:24:32] Yeah.
[00:24:33] If the altis, they named the name for a nightmare is named after that guy's name.
[00:24:39] I'm going to come out of this looking like Leo Nitis though.
[00:24:42] For real though.
[00:24:44] No.
[00:24:45] Leo, neat, nice, nice.
[00:24:47] Yeah.
[00:24:48] You're not leon iced dick.
[00:24:50] I'm leon iced dick.
[00:24:51] Can I be Leo needs dick?
[00:24:52] Can I be Leo Negro Decaprio?
[00:24:54] No, why not?
[00:24:56] Okay, fine.
[00:24:57] Yeah.
[00:24:58] I was doing one of the song.
[00:25:07] Can I do it?
[00:25:09] What's that?
[00:25:11] You can tell me.
[00:25:12] It seems like he's enjoying the Leo Negro Decaprio.
[00:25:16] No, it reminded me of the song.
[00:25:20] It's a, it's a, Nick, we need some kind of famous lines from his movies in some way.
[00:25:26] Would you say?
[00:25:27] I mean, naturally, that's where that would go.
[00:25:29] Okay, so no, let's, I want to hear that.
[00:25:31] It's better than the song.
[00:25:33] Naturally, you would say the thing and then walk the bit out to its natural conclusion.
[00:25:38] I, what's the song?
[00:25:40] Go ahead.
[00:25:41] Hey, we got no, now it's like, we got another 35 minutes here.
[00:25:46] All right.
[00:25:47] It's a black guy singing in the dead of night.
[00:25:52] That's, that's, that's, that's all.
[00:25:54] I can't say that.
[00:25:55] That's really good.
[00:25:56] That's a black bird.
[00:25:57] It's a black guy singing.
[00:25:59] Well, that's even better than what you.
[00:26:01] Yeah, that's much better than black birds sucking on my dick.
[00:26:04] I'm gay, which was, yeah.
[00:26:06] Well, I just thought it's funny if the people saying that about a black, a black guy.
[00:26:11] Why couldn't it be black guy sucking on my dick?
[00:26:13] I'm gay.
[00:26:14] Think about that, Adam.
[00:26:15] Think about adding a new twist to an old familiar.
[00:26:17] Yeah.
[00:26:18] Yeah, that's true.
[00:26:20] So I guess we can change it to black guys sucking on my dick.
[00:26:23] I'm gay.
[00:26:24] There you go.
[00:26:25] Sing it.
[00:26:26] Sing it with conviction.
[00:26:27] Black guys sucking on my dick.
[00:26:28] I'm gay.
[00:26:29] You think it'll be ethically wrong for me to go ride the, the East River ferry right
[00:26:34] now for no reason?
[00:26:36] Is it going?
[00:26:37] Yeah.
[00:26:38] And they're tearing it up.
[00:26:39] They're tearing it up.
[00:26:41] They're tearing it up on the river?
[00:26:43] Really?
[00:26:44] Mm-hmm.
[00:26:45] No one's on there though, because it's like, you know, I love taking that ferry.
[00:26:49] That's literally what I ripped Ian for.
[00:26:51] But this time it's about something I enjoy and not riding a bicycle around.
[00:26:55] Taking that, taking that ferry is, is, it's like a nice mini cruise in the middle of your
[00:27:01] day.
[00:27:02] Yeah.
[00:27:03] And you get to go.
[00:27:04] It's, it's very pleasant.
[00:27:05] I wouldn't.
[00:27:06] You pick it up at Brooklyn Heights.
[00:27:07] What?
[00:27:09] Did you pick it up at Brooklyn Heights?
[00:27:10] Um, I get it down.
[00:27:12] Or Williamsburg.
[00:27:13] Dumbo, I guess, is the big one.
[00:27:15] Dumbo, yeah.
[00:27:16] Yeah.
[00:27:17] I would, I don't know, man.
[00:27:18] That's a whole thing.
[00:27:19] It's a whole adventure.
[00:27:20] That's a, that's a nice date.
[00:27:24] Yeah.
[00:27:25] You walk, you walk around Brooklyn Bridge Park, then you take the ferry.
[00:27:28] It's a classic, classic New York City date.
[00:27:31] Economical as well.
[00:27:33] What's that?
[00:27:34] The ferry's free.
[00:27:36] The ferry's no.
[00:27:37] I think it's $2.75.
[00:27:38] Oh, nice.
[00:27:39] Yeah.
[00:27:40] I spent on, I spent on a bitch, Steve.
[00:27:43] You'll open up the coffers for some.
[00:27:46] I'll open up the wall for a bitch.
[00:27:48] 550.
[00:27:49] For a nice little boat ride for the two of us.
[00:27:51] Yep.
[00:27:52] That's just one way though.
[00:27:53] Yep.
[00:27:54] That is true.
[00:27:55] If I was cheap, I'd take the Staten Island ferry.
[00:27:57] It's just free.
[00:27:58] Yeah.
[00:27:59] Yeah, dude.
[00:28:00] The fucking ferry, the ferry dutch.
[00:28:03] Oh, you calling a ferry.
[00:28:05] Who you calling a ferry.
[00:28:08] Black eyes.
[00:28:09] Black bars, I can't remember this one.
[00:28:13] You know?
[00:28:14] And honestly, that's a beautiful portrayal of interracial, of modern love.
[00:28:18] Why do you jule off cam, Adam?
[00:28:21] I feel like embarrassed of what it looks like.
[00:28:24] Yeah.
[00:28:25] I think it probably looks kind of lame.
[00:28:27] Yes, it does.
[00:28:28] But, you know, I'm trying to protect my image.
[00:28:30] It's warching all.
[00:28:31] It's at this point, my image is completely lame.
[00:28:34] What do you have left?
[00:28:36] Unvarnished.
[00:28:37] Unvarnished.
[00:28:38] Unvarnished.
[00:28:39] Unvarnished.
[00:28:40] What's the word?
[00:28:42] Who cares?
[00:28:43] I'm never leaving my house.
[00:28:46] What's the deal with the never seeing each other?
[00:28:48] So Kim Jong Un is not going to die.
[00:28:51] What they were saying he was.
[00:28:54] They were saying he's brain dead, I thought.
[00:28:56] What happened there?
[00:28:57] He's not right.
[00:28:58] Yeah.
[00:28:59] Now they've got something in common with our, our, our frickin leader.
[00:29:03] You know?
[00:29:04] Thank you.
[00:29:05] You're seeing, you're seeing like Tom does that kind of like this.
[00:29:08] Like chicken move.
[00:29:09] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:29:10] You know what he's got a real good one.
[00:29:12] Yeah.
[00:29:13] What he's got a real good when he wants to punctuate.
[00:29:16] Yeah, he's vibrating for the energy.
[00:29:19] He's just charging up, baby.
[00:29:21] He's just going super sad.
[00:29:24] Brain dead.
[00:29:25] I don't know when he gets like, he goes like a little bit too far.
[00:29:28] You know, it's all.
[00:29:30] Yeah.
[00:29:31] It always goes like morbid.
[00:29:33] It's always about how we want someone to die.
[00:29:35] Yeah.
[00:29:36] Like when you said anyone stop to die.
[00:29:38] Oh yeah, that's so mean.
[00:29:40] Yeah.
[00:29:41] That was awesome.
[00:29:42] And then you told him.
[00:29:43] No, I didn't tell him.
[00:29:44] I made a joke about how he shouldn't be harassing him this day and day.
[00:29:48] A reporter, you started a mass report campaign against you.
[00:29:51] Yeah, I said we need, I had sent it to some of the women from the meat.
[00:29:56] Nobody snitched you.
[00:29:57] Listen, Milano reposted it.
[00:29:59] Said we need a band, Tom.
[00:30:01] I respect anyone that wishes me death.
[00:30:03] Well, I'll tell you though, Tom can stay.
[00:30:05] I was trying to stand up for stock.
[00:30:07] I'll tell you what.
[00:30:08] And I appreciate that.
[00:30:09] If you like the Me Too movement, you'll love bluechoo.com.
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[00:30:24] It's good with the with the pipe to emphasize the point.
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[00:30:30] Because of I've destroyed my circulation by just smoking a pipe all day long.
[00:30:36] I now need penis enhancement pills for the bedroom.
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[00:31:29] I love that they put that on Italians.
[00:31:31] The Viagra and Chiales.
[00:31:33] No, no.
[00:31:34] Is she on Italian?
[00:31:35] On Italian.
[00:31:36] It's like, it's like, you've been in the Viagra and a Chiales.
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[00:32:02] How fucked up is your cock?
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[00:32:05] I mean, I guess I kind of just, I didn't ever give them feedback.
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[00:32:12] the button and a bunch of dick pills came into your fucking.
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[00:32:16] The glo, the Halcyon days of Bluechoo.
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[00:33:01] Dude, reading sucks now.
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[00:33:23] But here's the thing.
[00:33:24] And look, they said, you know, we're, we're not just fucking, we're not just admin.
[00:33:28] We're customers.
[00:33:29] Yeah.
[00:33:30] Mm hmm.
[00:33:31] I got that.
[00:33:32] I know that in the bathroom.
[00:33:33] But Dr. Fauci.
[00:33:34] Fauci.
[00:33:35] Yeah.
[00:33:36] Who has been 100% correct on this thing the whole time has said that it is okay to get
[00:33:42] pussy.
[00:33:43] He said, wait for real?
[00:33:45] Yeah.
[00:33:46] I second and third hand, I think I heard him say that.
[00:33:49] Is that serious?
[00:33:50] Yeah.
[00:33:51] They said, be careful with ass eating.
[00:33:52] Yeah.
[00:33:53] They were like, no, that was the New York thing.
[00:33:54] But they said, like, look, I know people, you know, it's got to suck to be somebody
[00:33:57] that wasn't fucking at all.
[00:33:59] And then quarantine started and it was like three days and people are like, Oh my God,
[00:34:03] I haven't fucked it all.
[00:34:04] And to be the guy that's like, yeah, that's a long time.
[00:34:09] That's things.
[00:34:10] That sounds like a long.
[00:34:11] I'm personally going crazy over here.
[00:34:13] Yeah.
[00:34:14] I don't even know.
[00:34:15] I guess I'll just play video games for a decade.
[00:34:19] Oh, yeah.
[00:34:20] Yeah.
[00:34:21] Oh, yeah.
[00:34:22] Anyway, I'm just going to stay here with my parents.
[00:34:23] Yeah.
[00:34:24] They said you can fuck.
[00:34:25] So if you're not, you should go to Bluetooth or order some.
[00:34:33] And also too, if you get the prescription now, you're just stocking up.
[00:34:37] And then when the quarantine ends, guess who you can take two, three pills at a time.
[00:34:43] I can't wait.
[00:34:44] My cock is going to get so.
[00:34:45] Yeah, just rock star rock star car washer way through the fucking unemployment line.
[00:34:50] You know, just going to hide.
[00:34:52] How you doing, ladies?
[00:34:54] You ever hear of an erection?
[00:34:56] You just take a dick pill in front of a woman.
[00:34:58] You're trying to fuck.
[00:34:59] Yeah.
[00:35:00] Hey, listen, bitch, you only this for later, bitch.
[00:35:02] Whoa, me too.
[00:35:03] What is this?
[00:35:04] 2016, it's the apocalypse.
[00:35:07] When did she come to suck my cock?
[00:35:08] I paid for the pills.
[00:35:09] I'm with your herd, bitch.
[00:35:13] You mean two's old news, Joey Biden's a Democratic nominee.
[00:35:16] Everybody's getting pussy anyway they want it.
[00:35:19] Yeah.
[00:35:20] Come here.
[00:35:21] Let me smell you.
[00:35:22] You dumb bitch.
[00:35:23] Did that tweet from the New York Times?
[00:35:25] It was like, oh my God.
[00:35:27] Like, no history evidence that he did anything other than fucking what people said he did.
[00:35:32] He's sniffing other than the well-sourced.
[00:35:35] I didn't see it.
[00:35:36] What is it?
[00:35:37] The whole accounts of people of him touching.
[00:35:39] How about you don't worry about it?
[00:35:40] You know, next time you have one of these, I didn't see it.
[00:35:43] Okay.
[00:35:44] You just go, yeah, totally.
[00:35:45] I'll do it.
[00:35:46] Because what would happen if you didn't see it?
[00:35:49] You would have said something cool about it?
[00:35:51] Probably.
[00:35:52] Maybe.
[00:35:53] There's a chance I would have.
[00:35:54] You would have said something.
[00:35:55] Yeah, I would have come in with a cool day.
[00:35:58] I'm just kidding.
[00:35:59] bluetooth.com promo code comtown promo code Joe Biden.
[00:36:05] Oh, fuck, dude.
[00:36:08] I'd like to slip him a couple of blue juice.
[00:36:11] Oh, that would be awesome.
[00:36:13] He seems like even if he's senile, he seems virile still.
[00:36:18] But that's the thing.
[00:36:19] Imagine him with cock pills.
[00:36:20] Yeah.
[00:36:21] Oh my God.
[00:36:22] What kind of fucking hijinks he would get up to?
[00:36:24] What kind of 80 style Senator type behavior he would get up to?
[00:36:29] Some like teen sex comedy style shit.
[00:36:32] Porky's drilling holes in the locker room wall.
[00:36:35] Would it be worth it to rewatch Porky's this afternoon?
[00:36:37] There's all this shit that I want to do.
[00:36:39] I don't know if it's good.
[00:36:40] I remember that I think like, oh, that would be fun.
[00:36:43] And what I'm just remembering is when I enjoyed weed as a teenager.
[00:36:46] Yes.
[00:36:47] 100%.
[00:36:48] You do get to see what's her name Kim Cottrell's hooters.
[00:36:51] If I were to smoke weed now, I would stare at the fucking wall and do nothing.
[00:36:57] What I've been doing, you know what I would do is I would justify having one serving of
[00:37:02] seaweed snacks and then end up eating like 15 packages of them.
[00:37:07] That's true.
[00:37:08] That would absolutely.
[00:37:09] It's fine.
[00:37:11] It's seaweed.
[00:37:12] I would completely blow my diet, but then on bullshit.
[00:37:15] Oh, not even eighth of your.
[00:37:17] Not something I enjoy.
[00:37:18] I would eat fucking like nine bags of rice cakes.
[00:37:22] Yes.
[00:37:23] Horrible.
[00:37:25] Just not really just sort of slightly wincing every time you're like, dude, I do this.
[00:37:29] That's all you got.
[00:37:30] Exactly.
[00:37:31] When you like when you have like compulsive behavior and like you start going off the
[00:37:35] rails with something, you're like, fuck it.
[00:37:37] I don't care.
[00:37:38] Let it go.
[00:37:39] Yeah.
[00:37:40] Yeah.
[00:37:41] Just like no matter what, you just can't stop.
[00:37:42] Oh, I had a nice little run last night.
[00:37:44] You know, I was almost home free.
[00:37:46] Just know you're like, let me have some, a little sweet on the way out, but we didn't
[00:37:49] have any dessert.
[00:37:50] Yeah.
[00:37:51] I literally, I was just fucking eating cereals.
[00:37:52] I was just like, yeah, peanut butter in the cereal and mixing it up and entire bag.
[00:37:57] And dude, I can eat out.
[00:37:58] Like I think at one time, I ate an entire barrel of those honey braided like twist pretzels
[00:38:04] because I was like, I'm going to let myself have one.
[00:38:07] Yeah.
[00:38:08] And I was like, well, guess I learned my guess I learned my lesson so much for trying.
[00:38:15] Time to sit here and over the course of two and a half hours, eat 15,000 calories worth.
[00:38:25] Yes.
[00:38:26] Shit.
[00:38:27] I barely like it.
[00:38:28] I mean, it's barely.
[00:38:29] I love them.
[00:38:30] Don't get me wrong.
[00:38:31] The honey, the honey twisted ones.
[00:38:33] Yeah.
[00:38:34] I've never had those.
[00:38:35] They're not, they're not barrel eat worthy brother.
[00:38:38] I don't know.
[00:38:39] I love them.
[00:38:40] The honey braided twist.
[00:38:41] We got different tastes.
[00:38:42] That's true.
[00:38:43] That's the thing is like if you were an alcoholic, you would be one of these like fucking like,
[00:38:48] you know, like whiskey or scotch tasting kind of guys.
[00:38:52] You're not like a fucking 30 cores light sort of dudes.
[00:38:55] Yeah, that's probably true.
[00:38:57] Yeah.
[00:38:58] See, these are just, they're fine.
[00:38:59] I'm looking at them.
[00:39:00] They're good, but they're not.
[00:39:01] Oh, you had to pull them up.
[00:39:02] I had to pull them up to make sure I had the right one.
[00:39:04] Hey, Jamie, let's get that on the screen.
[00:39:06] Can we get that on the screen?
[00:39:08] Take a look at, let me remember what these look like.
[00:39:14] Just not enough flavoring for me though.
[00:39:16] You know what I like too?
[00:39:17] First of all, too great a snack brands, Sniders and us.
[00:39:21] I can definitely go with you there.
[00:39:23] Yeah.
[00:39:24] That's good.
[00:39:25] I don't know that I can follow you all the way on Snyder.
[00:39:26] The Snyder's rectangular box, hard sourdough pretzels.
[00:39:31] The big respect on that big fuckers.
[00:39:33] Great.
[00:39:34] Yeah.
[00:39:35] You're not going to hear a fucking peep out of me about that.
[00:39:37] And also the- I just don't see the versatility of the Snyder's brand, but go ahead.
[00:39:40] Yeah, they have like pretzel bites that are covered in like-
[00:39:44] Yes.
[00:39:45] Honeybudgy barbecue.
[00:39:46] That I am so in.
[00:39:48] Yes.
[00:39:49] And they have a buffalo situation now too.
[00:39:50] Yeah.
[00:39:51] They're going, they had like a weird like onion one also.
[00:39:54] Yeah.
[00:39:55] Those are unbelievable.
[00:39:56] I remember I had a bag of those in my dumb bitch stepmom when I was like 15 was trying
[00:40:00] to tell me that I couldn't eat them in the apartment because she was allergic to onions
[00:40:03] or something.
[00:40:04] And I was like, you're just trying to find any way to-
[00:40:08] Fuck it.
[00:40:09] To just shit on my life.
[00:40:10] This is the one thing I'm enjoying, bitch.
[00:40:13] The smallest thing away from me, a bag of pretzels I bought at the gas station.
[00:40:18] Dusted with something that's probably going to give me-
[00:40:21] It's going to-
[00:40:22] It's going to make it so I can't have a family of my own.
[00:40:26] So I will also be relegated to the world of step parenting like you.
[00:40:33] Yeah.
[00:40:34] If only you had had that to tell her right then that would have really shut her bitch ass
[00:40:40] up, dude.
[00:40:41] Yeah.
[00:40:42] But fuck.
[00:40:43] You know, whatever.
[00:40:44] This would be a bad time to get tested to their cancer.
[00:40:46] Now that there's ever a good time.
[00:40:49] I feel like we don't, I don't know anyone that's had ball cancer.
[00:40:53] I, one of my friends, one ball Nate.
[00:40:55] Yeah.
[00:40:56] You had it.
[00:40:57] Damn, you don't know anyone.
[00:40:58] You don't know what that means.
[00:40:59] No.
[00:41:00] You know what that means.
[00:41:01] No.
[00:41:04] But I think it's early twenties you get it.
[00:41:06] It's like the young man's cancer.
[00:41:07] Look to your right.
[00:41:08] If there's no gay guy it's you.
[00:41:10] What do I hear?
[00:41:11] I think I hear your, your tiny balls filling with tears.
[00:41:15] They're not you.
[00:41:16] Oh, that's the only thing that might save you is how small your balls are.
[00:41:19] Yeah.
[00:41:20] Yeah.
[00:41:21] It's not enough surface area for the cancer.
[00:41:24] And when they grow it's too micro-sparkety grow.
[00:41:27] It's very noticeable.
[00:41:28] Yeah.
[00:41:29] I thought I had the-
[00:41:30] I had the-
[00:41:31] I'm pretty sure it was coronavirus.
[00:41:33] Yeah.
[00:41:34] Yeah.
[00:41:35] I-
[00:41:36] Didn't your nut keep getting twisted or something?
[00:41:38] Me?
[00:41:39] Me?
[00:41:40] No, I got, I had like a cyst on one of my nuts that I thought was a tumor.
[00:41:43] Yeah.
[00:41:44] And I went to the doctor and they were like, yeah, it's just a cyst.
[00:41:48] Did they suck it to check?
[00:41:49] No, it was a Chinese doctor who just like his equipment was like, there was like, like
[00:41:54] doctors all of his machines just jammed into the room.
[00:41:58] And then it was like a bucket of Magnum condoms.
[00:42:01] And he was like, okay, yeah, I'll pull your pants down and let me take a look.
[00:42:06] You know, he's like one of those like New York Chinese guys.
[00:42:09] Yep.
[00:42:10] And he's like, he's like, okay, yeah, I can definitely feel it.
[00:42:13] Let me look at me right here.
[00:42:15] It's a cyst, okay?
[00:42:16] You know, if it fucking gives you problems in the future, maybe you come back, we'll
[00:42:19] do ultrasound, but for this, it's a cyst.
[00:42:22] Don't worry.
[00:42:23] He's like, okay, let me check your prostate real quick.
[00:42:26] Just by feeling it around?
[00:42:27] Yeah, he just feels like it's fine.
[00:42:29] Dude, the Chinese rock, if I was going to, that's why it must be okay to like, you know,
[00:42:33] because I figure over there, you work in a factory for 10 years and you're 27.
[00:42:36] They're like, yeah, you have every type of cancer.
[00:42:38] But the doctors probably like, hey, sorry, slick, but hey, don't worry.
[00:42:43] Fuck it.
[00:42:44] That's life.
[00:42:45] And then you're like, yeah, I guess that is life.
[00:42:46] It is life.
[00:42:47] You go to the factory.
[00:42:48] Yeah, you just fucking be 12 hours a day, six days a week.
[00:42:53] Just be a Chinese guy.
[00:42:54] It's amazing.
[00:42:55] It's like country music in China.
[00:42:58] Yeah, they do.
[00:42:59] They have like their country music is that big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big,
[00:43:02] fucked up Chinese guitar.
[00:43:03] That I do know that we've talked about.
[00:43:05] Yeah.
[00:43:06] Because I love talking about that.
[00:43:08] Bang, bang, ding, ding, ding.
[00:43:10] This is going to be the clinic as a scandal.
[00:43:14] What?
[00:43:15] That's what it sounds like.
[00:43:16] I'm saying, yeah, no, it definitely sounds like that.
[00:43:19] Just a Chinese Chinese guy.
[00:43:20] Chinese guy.
[00:43:21] Chinese guy named Johnny Cash only.
[00:43:23] He's a Chinese Chinese country music musician.
[00:43:29] I hurt myself today.
[00:43:35] What was he doing?
[00:43:39] Refusing a black person service.
[00:43:42] Yeah, I guess.
[00:43:44] You know what I mean?
[00:43:46] Rushing him out of his store or something like that.
[00:43:48] I mean, you know, instead of pickup trucks, I got rich trucks.
[00:43:53] That's why.
[00:43:54] Yeah, that's true.
[00:43:56] I'm not too.
[00:43:57] That's definitely true.
[00:43:59] I'm not too proud to.
[00:44:01] That'd be funny if you were a Chinese in cell trying to do like run people over, but you
[00:44:07] drive a rich.
[00:44:08] Yes, that's trying to do like a truck attack with a rich shot.
[00:44:12] It was just a funny image.
[00:44:14] You would just get hit immediately.
[00:44:16] Yeah, you would just.
[00:44:17] Yeah.
[00:44:18] It sounds bad.
[00:44:19] Instead of Garth Brooks, it's a.
[00:44:22] You just swear.
[00:44:24] Oh, I see.
[00:44:26] I see.
[00:44:27] Yes.
[00:44:28] Okay.
[00:44:29] Okay.
[00:44:30] You got it.
[00:44:31] That one's kind of a connect the dots, Brian.
[00:44:33] Right.
[00:44:34] It works for Brooks and Don also.
[00:44:37] Mm hmm.
[00:44:38] Yeah.
[00:44:39] Sure.
[00:44:40] I guess.
[00:44:41] Dukes and Brun.
[00:44:42] No, no.
[00:44:43] Gooks and.
[00:44:44] Well, yeah.
[00:44:46] Yeah, that's true.
[00:44:48] Mm hmm.
[00:44:53] Yeah.
[00:44:54] Johnny Cash only is good though, man.
[00:44:56] No, I keep talking.
[00:44:58] Okay.
[00:44:59] Let's keep going.
[00:45:01] Oh, Kenny.
[00:45:04] Kenny lodgers.
[00:45:06] What are we doing now?
[00:45:09] We naming Chinese country singers.
[00:45:12] Yeah, I'd like the approach of Johnny Cash only more than just kind of.
[00:45:20] Yeah, because it's like a Chinese.
[00:45:22] The chats.
[00:45:23] The chats got to be going wild right now.
[00:45:25] Oh, yeah.
[00:45:26] Those idiots.
[00:45:27] They're so mad that they can't.
[00:45:29] Sorry.
[00:45:30] Never know, bitch.
[00:45:32] Yeah.
[00:45:33] Sorry.
[00:45:34] We're not going to see you're a crew.
[00:45:35] I don't care if you came over there first.
[00:45:37] We'll arrive on it five minutes later and do it wrong.
[00:45:41] I was the one that said it.
[00:45:44] That's got to be infuriating.
[00:45:47] Oh, yeah, for sure.
[00:45:49] I sucked my own penis.
[00:45:54] Because I'm gay and Chinese.
[00:45:58] That's kind of the song he would do.
[00:46:01] You'd think it'd be a voice, but no, he sounds just like Johnny Cash,
[00:46:04] but he lets you know he's Chinese.
[00:46:06] That's my spin on the whole thing.
[00:46:10] I suck dick.
[00:46:13] What's that?
[00:46:14] Bullock.
[00:46:15] Huh?
[00:46:16] Nothing.
[00:46:18] What's your name?
[00:46:20] Who?
[00:46:21] I can't remember anything.
[00:46:22] I'm ready with the big ass.
[00:46:23] A lady with Dolly Parton.
[00:46:25] Dolly Parton.
[00:46:26] So you can't remember her name and then you also don't have a thing to pair it with.
[00:46:33] You got to start with the name.
[00:46:36] I don't have a word.
[00:46:41] Oh, give me one of the names so I cannot have an idea for it.
[00:46:46] It wasn't like, let me see if this fit.
[00:46:48] Oh, here it is.
[00:46:49] It's just the content.
[00:46:51] I'm trying to remember country people's names and then you got to build off the name.
[00:46:57] I got Kenny Rogers.
[00:46:59] That's half point.
[00:47:02] Nope.
[00:47:07] John Prawn.
[00:47:10] I feel like Chinese people call shrimps prawns more than the average person.
[00:47:15] Sure.
[00:47:16] Sure.
[00:47:17] That guy was pretty good.
[00:47:18] I never knew him at all and then he died.
[00:47:20] Very sad.
[00:47:21] His shit was popping off.
[00:47:23] Some good ass songs in there.
[00:47:25] He's got a weird fucked up cheeky face.
[00:47:29] I'm just going to be so solidly.
[00:47:34] Me so solidly.
[00:47:37] The next one.
[00:47:40] Moving on.
[00:47:43] Moving on to the next one.
[00:47:51] So just a weary though.
[00:47:52] Kim Jong Un is not dead.
[00:47:54] People are lying.
[00:47:56] He's not dead.
[00:48:01] He's not dead.
[00:48:06] He's not dead.
[00:48:11] He's dead.
[00:48:16] He's dead.
[00:48:31] I think it's people from what I can tell on the screen.
[00:48:34] But I haven't played because I'm sure that women have ruined it.
[00:48:38] So true.
[00:48:39] It's the girl video game of quarantine.
[00:48:42] And you won't play it.
[00:48:44] I'm not going to play it.
[00:48:47] I'm not going to play it.
[00:48:49] I'm not going to play it.
[00:48:52] I'm not going to play it.
[00:48:55] It's true.
[00:48:56] Who you malign.
[00:48:57] Who I don't, by the way.
[00:48:58] I want to play Animal Crossing,
[00:48:59] but I can't find one of my joy cons.
[00:49:02] It would suck.
[00:49:04] It would suck to date one of those female streamers.
[00:49:08] What?
[00:49:09] Female Twitch streamer?
[00:49:11] Oh, yeah.
[00:49:12] You're mortal enemies.
[00:49:15] They're trying to unseat you with every fucking, every donation.
[00:49:18] Yeah, we're giving her coins or something.
[00:49:20] I don't even know how it works.
[00:49:22] It would suck to date a woman that publicly sexualizes herself.
[00:49:26] Let's overshoot on display.
[00:49:30] Yeah, I can see how that would be humiliating.
[00:49:34] That would be hard.
[00:49:38] Yeah, it would suck to date a dumb bitch.
[00:49:43] You know what I found out?
[00:49:46] Dennis, listen, we got some competition.
[00:49:48] Dennis Quaid has a podcast now.
[00:49:50] Oh, my God.
[00:49:52] What are we going to do?
[00:49:53] Dennis Quaid has a podcast.
[00:49:55] I don't know.
[00:49:57] It would be better if it was Randy Quaid had a podcast.
[00:50:00] I think it's called the Denisontz.
[00:50:02] The Denisontz, that's a cool name.
[00:50:04] That's a cool name.
[00:50:05] That's what I'm saying, dude.
[00:50:06] I'm going to be here with the Chinese country singers.
[00:50:10] Yes.
[00:50:11] What about...
[00:50:13] Go ahead.
[00:50:14] What do you got?
[00:50:16] No, I mean it.
[00:50:17] Go ahead.
[00:50:18] Fuck.
[00:50:19] If it was like Waylin and then Chinese Jennings.
[00:50:23] I like that, actually.
[00:50:24] That's good.
[00:50:25] That is a Waylin Chinese...
[00:50:27] When you have a good way, you've got a Blavian Jennings.
[00:50:29] It's like W-E-I-L-I-N.
[00:50:32] Waylin.
[00:50:33] That's much better.
[00:50:35] Adam, believe it yourself.
[00:50:36] Waylin Chinese Jennings is good.
[00:50:38] It's worse than if it was Chinese Waylin Jennings.
[00:50:42] It's got to be Waylin Jennings.
[00:50:43] But if Chinese in the middle makes it even worse.
[00:50:46] Yes.
[00:50:48] I've been keeping up on who's...
[00:50:50] What our competition is, Denis Quaid.
[00:50:52] The Denisontz is a problem.
[00:50:53] And also, listen to this, Michael and Pierioli and Steve Sharipa have a fucking
[00:50:58] Sopranos podcast.
[00:50:59] What?
[00:51:00] From the Sopranos have a Sopranos podcast.
[00:51:03] Yeah, they must have so much access.
[00:51:05] Dude.
[00:51:06] I haven't listened to it yet, but I'm going to.
[00:51:08] Yeah, it sounds great.
[00:51:09] I haven't listened to a podcast since the quarantine, but...
[00:51:13] Damn, I wish I had your projects though.
[00:51:15] I should probably check that Chinese country singer thing because now I'm just
[00:51:18] going to have those like...
[00:51:19] Yeah, I'm still thinking about it.
[00:51:21] I just bounced around in my head all day.
[00:51:23] Is that what your brain sounds like?
[00:51:25] Yeah.
[00:51:26] Lard2D2, kind of.
[00:51:27] I can't see your cuttish.
[00:51:33] All day.
[00:51:34] That sounds calming, actually.
[00:51:35] Yeah.
[00:51:36] It's kind of nice.
[00:51:37] It's kind of nice.
[00:51:38] Fuck.
[00:51:39] Fuck.
[00:51:40] Fuck.
[00:51:41] Fuck.
[00:51:42] Fuck.
[00:51:43] Fuck.
[00:51:44] Fuck.
[00:51:45] Fuck.
[00:51:46] Fuck.
[00:51:47] Fuck.
[00:51:48] Fuck.
[00:51:49] Fuck.
[00:51:50] Fuck.
[00:51:51] Fuck.
[00:51:52] Fuck.
[00:51:53] Fuck.
[00:51:54] Fuck.
[00:51:55] Fuck.
[00:51:56] Fuck.
[00:51:57] Fuck.
[00:51:58] I wonder how much it costs to have a crazy taxi machine delivered to my apartment.
[00:52:02] Fuck.
[00:52:03] Fuck.
[00:52:04] Fuck.
[00:52:05] Fuck.
[00:52:06] Fuck.
[00:52:07] All day, baby.
[00:52:08] Ain't nothing wrong with that.
[00:52:10] Ain't nothing wrong with getting a slice of pussy.
[00:52:13] No, sir.
[00:52:14] Getting a little peek.
[00:52:15] Warm it up.
[00:52:16] Getting a taste.
[00:52:17] Mm-hmm.
[00:52:18] A little taste.
[00:52:20] Save you.
[00:52:21] It holds you over for the whole thing.
[00:52:22] Mm-hmm.
[00:52:23] Yeah.
[00:52:24] Ain't nothing wrong with chopping a bitch's pubic hair off and putting it in their pussy
[00:52:27] dipping it and then saving it for later.
[00:52:29] Mm-hmm.
[00:52:30] It holds you.
[00:52:31] Yeah.
[00:52:32] It holds you.
[00:52:33] Mm-hmm.
[00:52:34] Great wall confuses.
[00:52:35] Confucius.
[00:52:36] Great wall confuses.
[00:52:37] Murrow haggard.
[00:52:38] Okay.
[00:52:39] Great wall confuses.
[00:52:40] That's more of what's going on in my head.
[00:52:41] Yeah.
[00:52:42] Yeah.
[00:52:43] Genghis Khan.
[00:52:44] Great wall.
[00:52:45] Murrow haggard.
[00:52:46] Tiananmen Square.
[00:52:47] Tiananmen Square.
[00:52:48] Murrow haggard.
[00:52:49] Mm-hmm.
[00:52:50] My family's in real haggard.
[00:52:51] Munkham or Jankramunk
[00:52:55] Tracadkins.
[00:52:59] Hong Kong Tracadkins.
[00:53:01] Karate, Kung Fu.
[00:53:02] Shaolin.
[00:53:04] Mm-hmm.
[00:53:05] Shaolin Jennings.
[00:53:06] Shaolin Jennings.
[00:53:07] Yeah.
[00:53:08] That's really good.
[00:53:09] Well done.
[00:53:10] Well done.
[00:53:11] Wow.
[00:53:12] That's good.
[00:53:13] That's very good.
[00:53:15] I'm Beijing.
[00:53:16] Beijing Jennings works a little bit better.
[00:53:19] Mm-hmm.
[00:53:20] lew... what's that?
[00:53:25] lew, lew... loud!
[00:53:27] lew!
[00:53:28] gotta be luhon!
[00:53:29] It's gonna be lose,
[00:53:31] lew… lew...
[00:53:33] I know, I know!
[00:53:35] Uhm,
[00:53:39] As you got lew.
[00:53:43] That...
[00:53:44] Keithurbin's...
[00:53:47] Keithurbin...
[00:53:48] She's me.
[00:53:50] Um.
[00:53:53] Oh, fuck.
[00:53:57] I don't know that many country guys, man.
[00:54:00] It's just funny.
[00:54:06] Let's see here.
[00:54:07] Chopsticks and done.
[00:54:09] Okay.
[00:54:10] Okay.
[00:54:10] Excellent done Brooks.
[00:54:13] Yeah.
[00:54:14] It's okay.
[00:54:15] You could do better with Brooks and done.
[00:54:17] I feel like.
[00:54:17] Um.
[00:54:19] All right.
[00:54:19] I got to look up most famous country music.
[00:54:22] Cause that's the, that's the real problem.
[00:54:24] You need to start with the names.
[00:54:25] That's what I would say.
[00:54:26] Yeah.
[00:54:27] But you do that on your own.
[00:54:28] You don't say.
[00:54:30] Well, I forgot our name.
[00:54:32] Oh, what about Willie Nelson?
[00:54:33] There's got to be some for Willie.
[00:54:36] Um.
[00:54:40] Chili.
[00:54:41] Chili oil Nelson.
[00:54:43] No, like a chili oil.
[00:54:47] Chili oil.
[00:54:55] Dump, dumpling.
[00:54:58] Jow long now.
[00:55:00] Yeah.
[00:55:02] Dumpling.
[00:55:02] Chopsticks.
[00:55:03] Low main.
[00:55:06] Low main.
[00:55:07] Now.
[00:55:07] Really don't read the Mac entire.
[00:55:10] Yeah.
[00:55:33] Oh, instead of Alan Jackson, you could do Alan bat, bat soup.
[00:55:36] Okay, bat bat.
[00:55:37] I guess.
[00:55:48] Shana.
[00:55:50] Shna twain.
[00:55:51] Okay.
[00:55:52] That's something.
[00:55:58] If he wasn't.
[00:55:59] Well, there's a there's a Muslim.
[00:56:02] China.
[00:56:02] Keith or Bamboo.
[00:56:05] Yes.
[00:56:06] Thank you.
[00:56:06] That's good.
[00:56:07] Yeah.
[00:56:07] Instead of Shana.
[00:56:08] I twain.
[00:56:08] It's China.
[00:56:10] Twain.
[00:56:11] Oh, so just right with China.
[00:56:13] It just.
[00:56:16] China should China.
[00:56:18] Twain.
[00:56:21] Yeah.
[00:56:22] Okay.
[00:56:23] She's good.
[00:56:24] It's good.
[00:56:26] There are also be awesome black ladies named.
[00:56:27] Mr. China.
[00:56:28] She China.
[00:56:29] I went to school.
[00:56:31] I'm going to go to the hospital.
[00:56:38] Let's see here.
[00:56:39] I'm at.
[00:56:40] I'm at.
[00:56:41] I'm at.
[00:56:42] It's a Hank Williams.
[00:56:43] It's just chink Williams.
[00:56:51] I guess.
[00:56:52] Yeah.
[00:56:52] I guess it fulfills the prompt.
[00:56:55] For the assignment.
[00:56:58] It worked.
[00:57:00] It worked.
[00:57:01] The white goop.
[00:57:02] White goop.
[00:57:06] Yep.
[00:57:07] So the luke comes is just goop comes.
[00:57:11] Yeah.
[00:57:11] Yeah.
[00:57:12] Yeah.
[00:57:12] Now we got this.
[00:57:13] Now we're let the Dixie chinks.
[00:57:17] Okay.
[00:57:19] No, we just we take it back to the classics and you don't really.
[00:57:22] Maybe I put a little bit too much chili oil on this one and over the.
[00:57:26] I think probably that's what you did.
[00:57:29] Yeah.
[00:57:30] The Dixie chinks is probably the that's where that beaks for me.
[00:57:34] Yeah.
[00:57:35] That's probably the best one word play wise.
[00:57:37] Yeah.
[00:57:38] For what the assignment was.
[00:57:41] It's very good.
[00:57:42] About Glen Campbell Glen Ross.
[00:57:45] Oh, and it's just.
[00:57:46] It's not Chinese.
[00:57:47] It's very good.
[00:57:48] But he's on tour in China.
[00:57:50] Okay.
[00:57:52] It's Glen people and he's forgotten how to play guitar and the only thing he can remember.
[00:57:56] Is Alec Baldwin's model from Glaher.
[00:58:02] Yeah.
[00:58:03] How are you all doing tonight?
[00:58:05] Put that coffee down, faggot.
[00:58:07] You just got to get.
[00:58:09] You think off is for closers?
[00:58:11] Yeah, he's just got to get.
[00:58:14] Oh, he's saying this.
[00:58:15] Yeah.
[00:58:16] Glenn.
[00:58:16] You can say it.
[00:58:17] You can't believe.
[00:58:18] Ross, he's like, where am I China?
[00:58:20] Yeah, you don't say.
[00:58:24] Oh, uh, here's one that's more.
[00:58:26] P G.
[00:58:29] Kenny Chestnut sauce.
[00:58:31] That's good.
[00:58:32] Can you chestnuts?
[00:58:33] Kenny water chestnuts.
[00:58:35] Yeah, that's.
[00:58:35] Kenny Kenny Kenny Kenny water chest.
[00:58:38] Yeah, I thought about that one early, but doesn't fit.
[00:58:41] Yeah, that shit don't work, pal.
[00:58:46] The Glane.
[00:58:47] Blame Cam Bell peppers.
[00:58:49] They use.
[00:58:50] They don't really use bell peppers in their.
[00:58:52] Yeah, sometimes dude.
[00:58:53] Look at this.
[00:58:54] Yeah.
[00:58:54] In a Kung Pao chicken, there's bell pepper and peanut.
[00:58:59] Peanut.
[00:58:59] Yeah, for sure.
[00:59:01] But there's also more time.
[00:59:03] I would say.
[00:59:06] Damn.
[00:59:07] There are so many shitty country musicians.
[00:59:10] Johnny cashew chicken.
[00:59:11] What the fuck is this?
[00:59:12] The Florida Georgia line.
[00:59:14] Do you know that?
[00:59:15] Oh, yeah, dude.
[00:59:16] I know them.
[00:59:16] This is awful.
[00:59:18] They have a song called.
[00:59:20] Cruz.
[00:59:21] That's kind of a kind of a slapper.
[00:59:23] Yeah, you asked me.
[00:59:25] Yeah, their songs they covered.
[00:59:27] That it's about going to men's restrooms.
[00:59:31] Really?
[00:59:32] No, that would be funny.
[00:59:34] Some country song about.
[00:59:35] Yeah, that would be awesome.
[00:59:36] The Florida Georgia line is a very bad name for a music artist.
[00:59:42] Well, that's where they are, dude.
[00:59:44] They're a North Panhandle Florida.
[00:59:47] Panhandle situation.
[00:59:48] Is that the Panhandle?
[00:59:50] Florida Georgia line.
[00:59:52] I'm assuming a slip border between those two states.
[00:59:55] Oh, fuck.
[00:59:56] Now, is the Panhandle Alabama and Florida?
[00:59:59] How about instead of Chris Christoff?
[01:00:01] It's boys piss boys pissed off or something.
[01:00:06] All right.
[01:00:07] Yeah.
[01:00:08] Yeah, I like that.
[01:00:16] That one's really that's my favorite.
[01:00:19] Yeah.
[01:00:19] Boys piss boys.
[01:00:20] Oh, I'm just kidding.
[01:00:26] I bet just like one of those wrap rock country groups called Panda Express.
[01:00:35] Yeah.
[01:00:36] I'm worse.
[01:00:36] Sir.
[01:00:39] Panda, there was some Panda fucked.
[01:00:41] I bet instead of Dwight Yocum, it's drink Yocum.
[01:00:46] You know, like Yocum.
[01:00:48] Yocum.
[01:00:48] That's isn't that the guy from Slingblade?
[01:00:50] It is a guy from.
[01:00:51] Yeah.
[01:00:52] He's also in he's also in panic room.
[01:00:55] Oh, I thought that was the character's name.
[01:00:57] No, no, he's he's a country musician.
[01:01:00] There's a swing blade.
[01:01:02] But I thought it was like a nickname.
[01:01:03] Well, he plays the dad.
[01:01:05] You thought you thought the name of the character in the movie is Dwight Yocum.
[01:01:09] I swear to God.
[01:01:11] I swear to God.
[01:01:12] Cause we've talked about it before and I thought you guys were saying what?
[01:01:15] No, Nick talks about how he likes Dwight Yocum's character in Slingblade because he's always getting the band back together.
[01:01:22] Just to make this clear, you thought the character Sling blades.
[01:01:27] No one calls him Slingblade in the movie.
[01:01:29] I've never heard the move.
[01:01:30] I've never seen the movie.
[01:01:31] Okay.
[01:01:32] So it was just I just assumed the guy's name was Dwight Yocum and that like Slingblade was his nickname.
[01:01:38] Oh, yeah.
[01:01:39] No, I don't think they believe Bob Thorne is Slingblade.
[01:01:41] Slingblade is not the character's nickname at all.
[01:01:44] There's not a character named Slingblade in the movie.
[01:01:47] Oh, there's not a guy.
[01:01:49] It's not the main guy's not.
[01:01:50] No, his name is not Slingblade.
[01:01:53] His name is Carl something.
[01:01:55] It's like Carl.
[01:01:56] Uh, what the fuck?
[01:01:58] I thought that was a cool nickname for like a murder.
[01:02:00] Yeah, Carl Childers is the name of the character, but they repeatedly refer to him as Carl.
[01:02:05] His name is Carl.
[01:02:06] He doesn't have a nickname.
[01:02:07] They don't call him Slingblade.
[01:02:09] I've never seen it.
[01:02:10] Yeah.
[01:02:10] I assumed his nickname was Slingblade and the guy's name was Dwight Yocum.
[01:02:14] You have to admit Dwight Yocum is a retarded guy's and it's sounding name.
[01:02:17] I think it's a cool sounding name personally.
[01:02:19] Dan, I wonder where we watch Slingblade.
[01:02:21] If you've never seen Slingblade, you should watch it.
[01:02:25] Okay.
[01:02:25] I haven't seen it in like 15 years.
[01:02:27] It is such a good movie.
[01:02:29] It's I've we almost watched it.
[01:02:31] I think my room.
[01:02:32] It was like it's dark.
[01:02:33] It is dark.
[01:02:34] Isn't it?
[01:02:35] But it can't.
[01:02:35] Well, I don't know what year that was.
[01:02:36] I came out maybe 97, but it was like something like that.
[01:02:39] Yeah.
[01:02:40] There was like a couple of years.
[01:02:42] It just like sucked.
[01:02:44] You know, yeah, for movies.
[01:02:48] And that one was like a highlight.
[01:02:50] Billy Bob, right?
[01:02:51] Billy Bob getting it in.
[01:02:52] Yeah.
[01:02:53] Yeah.
[01:02:53] You're a Slingblade.
[01:02:56] Sir, you pull up Slingblade.
[01:02:58] Sir, you pull up Slingblade.
[01:03:00] 96.
[01:03:01] Nice.
[01:03:03] Yeah.
[01:03:03] I remember that just that that era of movies just makes me think about like, do you remember when Hollywood's fucking big
[01:03:09] cause was ending the death penalty?
[01:03:12] Yeah.
[01:03:13] That was the thing that's that was like that was like as me as a little kid, I thought celebrities like, you know, because they always talked about things.
[01:03:20] So I thought that they could do stuff, you know, right?
[01:03:23] I didn't know the difference between somebody who was rich and somebody who was famous and somebody who was the president.
[01:03:28] You know what I mean?
[01:03:29] It was just like, of course.
[01:03:30] Yeah.
[01:03:31] And they're all the presidents and and the biggest issues at the time when I was a kid where the death penalty.
[01:03:38] And then the Titanic sinking.
[01:03:42] Mm hmm.
[01:03:42] That's a huge problem.
[01:03:44] Yeah.
[01:03:44] That was a big problem in the 90s.
[01:03:46] Two things that based on like award shows celebrity seemed to care about.
[01:03:51] Yeah.
[01:03:51] And then nothing happened with the death penalty.
[01:03:54] They didn't change shit.
[01:03:56] I guess the Oklahoma bombing happened and then they were like, oh, never mind.
[01:04:00] Yeah.
[01:04:00] Maybe terrorism and mass shootings, like ticked up and they were like, oh, I guess we do want to kill some people.
[01:04:07] And then they kind of gave up on it.
[01:04:09] But that was then we had Rwanda was a bit for a while.
[01:04:13] Because of hotel Rwanda.
[01:04:15] Yeah, the celebrities don't give a shit about things like that.
[01:04:18] They never fucking care.
[01:04:19] Oh, as a cause.
[01:04:20] What?
[01:04:21] Yeah, they don't care.
[01:04:22] Every every award show something comes up and I feel like Rwanda or just like genocide or what?
[01:04:28] Darfur Darfur is like where that kind of started, but that was like a one off.
[01:04:33] I mean, I mean, I mean, Bosnia was like a fucking big deal.
[01:04:37] And like celebrity again, literally James Cameron's whole fucking speech was about like,
[01:04:43] can we have a moment of silence for the victims of the Titanic as like bombs were dropping.
[01:04:50] Dude, that that that speech is hilarious because he's full blown autistic.
[01:04:57] Yeah.
[01:04:57] And at the end of the speech, he's like, and to close things off and he's like,
[01:05:02] I'm the king of the world and then bombs bombs in the right.
[01:05:07] Yeah, it's so funny.
[01:05:09] And that's where you would say we was Kang's of the world with yeah, we really can't leave
[01:05:14] me grow to cap if that had been beautiful given given the light of day.
[01:05:22] Yeah, well, no, but we had black guys singing in the dead of now.
[01:05:26] Oh, yeah, that classic.
[01:05:28] I thought that was pretty good.
[01:05:33] You could forget man.
[01:05:36] I thought it was pretty good.
[01:05:39] Black guy sucking on my dick.
[01:05:43] I wish I could sing, dude.
[01:05:44] It's probably better if his black girl singing.
[01:05:47] Girl sounds like bird kind of.
[01:05:49] It has the same assonance.
[01:05:52] No, dude, it was perfect.
[01:05:54] Okay.
[01:05:55] Yeah, I was trying to rework perfection.
[01:05:57] Thank you.
[01:05:58] I appreciate you saying that.
[01:06:00] I'm going to sing.
[01:06:02] Yeah, yeah, me too, dude.
[01:06:04] I wish I could sing.
[01:06:05] That would be awesome.
[01:06:06] I would just be singing all the drop.
[01:06:07] I wouldn't be.
[01:06:08] Me too.
[01:06:09] Yeah.
[01:06:10] I wouldn't be doing this.
[01:06:12] Yeah.
[01:06:13] Oh my God.
[01:06:15] Let me get me in it subway.
[01:06:18] An extra sweet onion chicken turkey sauce.
[01:06:23] I put more of the sweet onion sauce on there.
[01:06:28] I'm like, what do you mean?
[01:06:31] It's 1575.
[01:06:32] Then you hit my song.
[01:06:33] I should get it free.
[01:06:35] It should be free if you can sing.
[01:06:39] If you can sing, it should be free.
[01:06:41] And can I get some pussy please?
[01:06:43] That's what the gig economy is, dude.
[01:06:45] After this clears up and we're all working in the gig economy, if you can bring your talent,
[01:06:49] if you can trade your talent for.
[01:06:51] Let's just say in a lot of these, like, you know, some-
[01:06:53] It's like burning man.
[01:06:54] It's gonna be like burning man.
[01:06:55] I don't want to say younger comics because most of them are my major older, but you know,
[01:06:59] people that are relatively new to the business, 10, 15 years in, and things aren't really
[01:07:05] working out.
[01:07:06] It's like, why don't-
[01:07:08] If you just try bringing your talent to the people directly, just show up.
[01:07:13] Go to the grocery store.
[01:07:15] Go into predomange and say, you know, you're like, hmm, so I like fuck like six guys this
[01:07:20] week.
[01:07:21] Hm, having a normal one and then-
[01:07:24] Get a job at Uber.
[01:07:26] They're like, oh, it's $8.75 and you're like, no, I'm trading my art.
[01:07:31] I'm bartering with my art.
[01:07:34] I'm about to observe how guys don't have more than one set of bed sheets.
[01:07:38] Yeah.
[01:07:39] And it should get me a free bag.
[01:07:40] I should be able to-
[01:07:41] Can I eat out of the garbage, please?
[01:07:43] Yeah, please just letting me eat out of the garbage.
[01:07:47] I want to see some of those- I'm not homeless.
[01:07:50] I'm not mentally ill.
[01:07:51] I'm hungry.
[01:07:52] And I got declined for an only fans account.
[01:07:56] Please let me eat out.
[01:07:58] If there's an old, a sigh bowl, I might be able to lick.
[01:08:03] And a sigh keying wobble that I could perhaps eat out of the garbage.
[01:08:07] I would be much obliged to you.
[01:08:10] Yeah.
[01:08:11] I mean, maybe we should become farmers.
[01:08:19] Yeah.
[01:08:20] Grow our own crops.
[01:08:21] I mean, that's- Feed off the land.
[01:08:23] That's part of the whole compound dream, man, is you get a big plot of land and you get-
[01:08:27] I mean, it's a compound.
[01:08:29] You know?
[01:08:30] You bring people that have skills, shared resources, nobody owns anything.
[01:08:34] You know?
[01:08:35] Manda Tori fucking gun ownership for everybody lives on the fucking thing.
[01:08:40] Yeah.
[01:08:41] For starters, you will have a firearm and you will know how to use it.
[01:08:44] All right.
[01:08:45] And disputes are settled by the blade.
[01:08:48] By the way, the blade.
[01:08:50] Damn, I'm pissed they don't call the guy, Sling Blade in the movie.
[01:08:56] Yeah.
[01:08:57] But that's, you know-
[01:08:58] You pull off Sling Blade.
[01:08:59] You get it.
[01:09:00] You pull your resources.
[01:09:01] Everybody gets a big, big fucking thing.
[01:09:02] And I'm sure it would fall apart.
[01:09:03] It would be a disaster, you know?
[01:09:05] As it's always been.
[01:09:06] Absolutely.
[01:09:07] As it literally is.
[01:09:08] Never worked with-
[01:09:10] Because every system fails because people are terrible.
[01:09:13] You know?
[01:09:14] But that's the dream.
[01:09:18] You see, I didn't think of it as more like a lot of people being there.
[01:09:21] I thought of it as like, you know, you and your family.
[01:09:23] No.
[01:09:24] No, it's-
[01:09:25] No, it's a compound.
[01:09:26] You got it.
[01:09:27] You can make a new family now.
[01:09:28] Yeah.
[01:09:29] Based on ideology.
[01:09:31] A sex cult.
[01:09:33] You could say that.
[01:09:34] You're in the middle of it.
[01:09:35] You know who is kind of a piece of ass?
[01:09:37] Who?
[01:09:38] David Koresh.
[01:09:39] He was a handsome guy.
[01:09:42] Yeah, look it up.
[01:09:43] I'm about to.
[01:09:44] I'm about to.
[01:09:45] I always thought he was ugly and then I watched that documentary and I was like, he's kind
[01:09:50] of charismatic and good looking.
[01:09:52] I was almost about to join the-
[01:09:54] Yeah, he's a good looking guy.
[01:09:56] He's not the hottest guy.
[01:09:57] There's some picture where he looks good.
[01:09:59] Stop your looks.
[01:10:00] He looked ten years younger with the hair grown-up.
[01:10:03] Thanks, man.
[01:10:04] Yeah, you actually-
[01:10:05] I gotta say, it's not a bad look.
[01:10:06] It doesn't look bad.
[01:10:08] Yeah, well, we're going to let it run and I'm going to get this bald ponytail, boys.
[01:10:12] Yeah.
[01:10:13] Stop is kind of right about how he has hair, but he keeps it short.
[01:10:16] I gotta-
[01:10:17] I gotta fucking-
[01:10:18] I'm sorry for saying you're a little-
[01:10:19] I gotta shave my head or do something or cut my hair.
[01:10:22] Yeah.
[01:10:23] You shave your head, you look like a straight up white national.
[01:10:25] Our hair lines look pretty similar.
[01:10:26] You gotta start cutting it short.
[01:10:28] Well, I can't- I mean, I guess I could- I cut my own hair for years, so I probably still
[01:10:31] have the skill set, I guess.
[01:10:33] Maybe I'll take a stab at it and see if I can do it.
[01:10:35] Let's do fucking long now.
[01:10:36] You should give yourself dumb little haircuts.
[01:10:38] Yeah.
[01:10:39] You should give yourself a bob.
[01:10:40] Yeah.
[01:10:41] I'm going to go back to the bob, dude.
[01:10:43] Thanks, pretty soon.
[01:10:44] Turf bangs?
[01:10:45] That would be so awesome.
[01:10:47] Mm-hmm.
[01:10:48] Look like Twiggy, dude.
[01:10:49] Should look like that bitch- old British bitch Twiggy.
[01:10:52] The big eyes.
[01:10:54] The fashion model?
[01:10:55] Yeah.
[01:10:56] There we go.
[01:10:57] That's a good look.
[01:10:59] Should we get seen haircuts?
[01:11:01] Like a, you know, kind of like a 70s sort of- No, it's seen, dude.
[01:11:08] No, I like that.
[01:11:10] Yeah.
[01:11:11] That's a great look with the beard.
[01:11:13] How you doing, brother?
[01:11:16] Oh, yeah.
[01:11:17] Welcome to the compound.
[01:11:19] Welcome to the compound, brother.
[01:11:21] Welcome to the compound, brother.
[01:11:23] Much love, dude.
[01:11:24] Here's your mandatory firearm.
[01:11:26] You're so good to go, bro.
[01:11:31] You've got it down.
[01:11:33] Yeah.
[01:11:34] Adam, you look fucked up.
[01:11:35] You don't look good.
[01:11:36] You look like shit.
[01:11:37] What are you talking about?
[01:11:38] You look like Velma from fucking Scooby-Doo right now.
[01:11:40] No, dude.
[01:11:41] I look like a- Oh, yeah.
[01:11:42] Almost famous.
[01:11:43] Then you push the hair back from here.
[01:11:46] Mm-hmm.
[01:11:47] You look like a lady that works at the bank, dude.
[01:11:49] Yeah.
[01:11:50] Like, I look like a drug club.
[01:11:51] You look like a lady that works at the bank, dude.
[01:11:56] You look like shit trying to- Stop playing on that.
[01:12:01] It looks like I'm on my bread.
[01:12:04] Stop playing on that.
[01:12:05] You look like I'm on my bread.
[01:12:06] Stop playing on that.
[01:12:07] What you doing is you playing on that.
[01:12:09] Stop playing on that.
[01:12:10] It looks like your doo-op group just got fucking taken by.
[01:12:15] Are you playing on that?
[01:12:16] Are you playing on that at your home?
[01:12:18] Do you play on that at your home?
[01:12:20] Well, then don't play on it here.
[01:12:22] Quit playing on it.
[01:12:24] God damn, that's a great look.
[01:12:26] Don't be playing on that.
[01:12:30] Nick, you should grow your nails out.
[01:12:33] It looked like that.
[01:12:34] Like, dude, that's beautiful.
[01:12:37] You look like you from someone's office.
[01:12:41] Stop playing on that.
[01:12:42] If I have to come back there, it's like, yeah.
[01:12:45] Holy fuck.
[01:12:48] That's a good-ass look.
[01:12:50] You look good, dude.
[01:12:51] Thanks, man.
[01:12:52] Massive respect for that look.
[01:12:54] You look like Mary J. Blythe.
[01:12:56] Yeah, that's the bit.
[01:12:58] That's good stuff, man.
[01:13:01] Yeah.
[01:13:02] All right.
[01:13:03] Yeah.
[01:13:04] Make some one-share design.
[01:13:05] I got folks too.
[01:13:07] Thanks for listening.
[01:13:08] I'll do a- I'm doing an advice show on Twitch if you want to tune in on Fridays at 6.
[01:13:14] Go to twitch.tv slash Stavibaby.
[01:13:17] And there's a phone.
[01:13:19] There's a number you can call and I will solve all your problems.
[01:13:22] That's a genius that I am.
[01:13:25] But that's pretty much it for me.
[01:13:27] Maybe I should get some kind of project going.
[01:13:30] You know?
[01:13:31] Yeah, dude.
[01:13:32] I'm just the way I stop the way that the only thing that's caught me from not wanting to kill myself 24-7 is I just plan some activity every day and I just do it and then I go to bed.
[01:13:41] Maybe I'll start a YouTube account called J. Leno's Garage and I'll just go and start touching people's cars and making videos of them on the street and pretend like they're my car.
[01:13:50] I like that.
[01:13:51] Getting yelled at at the end of every single one of them.
[01:13:54] I'm sorry, sir.
[01:13:55] You're on my new hidden camera show J. Leno's Garage.
[01:13:58] Get the fuck off my fucking beamer.
[01:14:02] Hey, stop touching my car, man.
[01:14:05] Look, I'm sorry.
[01:14:07] All right.
[01:14:08] Well, yeah.
[01:14:09] Okay.
[01:14:10] Bye, folks.