Cum Town | Regular | 05/14/2020
[00:00:00] Oh shit, you got flood workers on the head and foot workers in the background, Nick.
[00:00:04] But this is this is the kind of shit we should be doing before exactly three p.m.
[00:00:10] For for not only future reference, but also past reference.
[00:00:21] Make sure everything's good to go by 255.
[00:00:25] It was a five minute window was all you had to.
[00:00:38] They were constantly doing different Russia.
[00:01:00] It's like different tags at a thrift store.
[00:01:03] Passover is the day that Circuit City went out of business and they did an 80% off liquidation.
[00:01:11] Russia, Shana was the holy day of sticks and stuff liquidating.
[00:01:21] That's where Moses got all the stuff for the fucking little.
[00:01:31] Didn't you have like a like a treasure chest?
[00:01:41] Some gold they made him carry it around for 40 years.
[00:01:45] Did you either you guys notice I trim my mustache?
[00:01:58] I shoved all my hair in my mouth and then I just use the razor to cut it out and then I spit
[00:02:12] It looks your face looks better, but now the bottom looks like.
[00:02:21] I didn't, I slept three hours last night.
[00:02:59] I'm trying to listen to what Nick had for breakfast, Adam.
[00:03:03] We're trying to talk about Fudd Rockers here.
[00:03:07] I'm just making Fudd Rockers at home for breakfast, and I hurt myself.
[00:03:13] I hurt one of my balls making Fudd Rockers at home.
[00:03:21] Police, I've hurt one of my balls making Fudd Rockers at home.
[00:03:24] One of my testicles has been stuck in the cast iron skillet.
[00:03:29] I need the essential workers to come here immediately.
[00:03:33] I've hurt one of my balls making Fudd Rockers at home.
[00:03:40] I was from Fudd Rockers and it was so dried out, I threw it on the ground.
[00:03:44] I was like most people in quarantine, I was missing in my American right, my constitutional
[00:03:55] Thomas Jefferson said, I shall visit the salad bar unmolested.
[00:04:00] I'm about to get the pussy from Sally and then go to it.
[00:04:05] That's in the Constitution is that you're not allowed to be molested.
[00:04:11] I hate when I'm trying to do my American rights and then someone puts a thumb in my ass.
[00:04:16] When I'm trying to stop a British guy from being courted in my house and then somebody
[00:04:20] and then fucking the government puts a thumb in my ass molesting me.
[00:04:26] Benjamin Franklin had his asshole licked by an older gentleman when he was eight and that's
[00:04:35] Yeah, that's why he was like, he's like, fuck this shit.
[00:04:41] He was trying to get electrocuted so hard he wasn't going to be gaining more for being
[00:04:46] Yeah, I'm going to put the stove in the middle of the living room to kill myself and then
[00:04:53] I'm about to make milk punch to kill myself with milk and fucking please at the same time.
[00:04:57] He hooked all of he's made it put all of the port all of the wine in his house in the
[00:05:01] glasses and set up a pulley system so he could drink all the wine at once and then somebody
[00:05:08] came over and they're like, what's that?
[00:05:17] He's like, yeah, no, it's an instrument.
[00:05:24] In 15 years, 100 years, everybody's going to be playing this thing.
[00:05:28] Of course, of course, it's a musical instrument.
[00:05:30] You guys don't know who Prince is, but a guy like that is going to love it.
[00:05:37] No, it says nothing to do with that thing I put in the Constitution, but being molested.
[00:05:45] Hey, Ben, you keep saying at the end of every amendment you wanted to not be molested.
[00:05:52] All the family fathers are just getting putting their personal issues in there.
[00:05:57] You shall have the right to bear arms and not have your penis ridiculed by your wife.
[00:06:03] I don't want any of these British faggots in my house.
[00:06:09] Say, can't put on no more British faggs sleeping on my couch.
[00:06:15] My roommate always says his British friends over and I don't want that.
[00:06:21] I pay rent and I'm not having the using my Xbox.
[00:06:26] Maybe a weekend a month, sure, but every day.
[00:06:32] Isn't one of them that you can't you have to pay back alone over $20 or some bullshit?
[00:06:55] I saw that I saw that there was a sign out front that said free luncheon and I always I
[00:07:00] just see if my name happens to be on the list anytime I pass by a free luncheon and by chance
[00:07:08] My suggestion is that you have to you're not allowed to you have to pay your loans back.
[00:07:33] Can I take some of the crudite dip home with a whatever you want?
[00:07:38] How about we put a thing in here that says we have to give all our money.
[00:07:46] Well, can we just remember that for later?
[00:07:50] We haven't told you guys about that yet.
[00:07:54] So when you read it backwards, it says you have to give all your money.
[00:08:00] We haven't orchestrated the Holocaust yet to get Israel yet.
[00:08:08] I'm on another hundred hundred fifty years ahead of my bed.
[00:08:16] Franklin Benjamin Franklin Benjamin sneaking his way in.
[00:08:22] For one of those legendary free lunches when they wrote the Constitution.
[00:08:27] You get a pint of Sam Adams and you know, they have some.
[00:08:33] There's deli meats out and they got a sandwich from Jersey Mike's.
[00:08:53] A lot of people know this, but my internet died right as we were finishing the last episode.
[00:09:04] We did the last episode and then the internet cut off because it was downloading too much
[00:09:13] Yeah, it sucks because it's like there's literally only one option for internet here.
[00:09:21] I mean, it would almost be better if they just told you to go fuck yourself because it's
[00:09:24] like, you know, you like, what are you going to do not have the internet at all?
[00:09:34] I had a roommate that had a dispute with the internet company when I lived in DC and
[00:09:41] they hung up on him because he was being too rude and we had to get cell phone internet.
[00:09:47] We had to get like 4G signal into our basement apartment and it just never worked.
[00:09:52] And because he refused to apologize at the cell phone company.
[00:09:56] The cell phone or the internet company?
[00:10:02] We had to get like it was the worst internet in the world.
[00:10:09] He's like, you don't have to be such a fucking cunt about it.
[00:10:20] He was like too proud to apologize to fucking Time Warner Cable or whatever.
[00:10:26] I mean they are the worst companies, but yeah, for sure.
[00:10:43] So I think we're naked, I live in Brooklyn.
[00:10:52] I'm over here drinking your little beat sludge, Nick.
[00:11:02] I've been selected to participate in a survey.
[00:11:09] And the top prize for being the best of the survey is a girlfriend from the Orient.
[00:11:18] As you know I haven't been getting any pussy because of the quarantine.
[00:11:29] Girls don't like me because it's the quarantine.
[00:11:31] They're worried that I have coronavirus.
[00:11:34] Because they heard about all the pussy I used to get.
[00:11:38] They heard from that, from all those girls.
[00:11:40] They know about all that, my uh philandering.
[00:11:45] Yeah, my swashbuckling philandering that I used to do.
[00:11:50] And so they're like man I wish I could come give pussy but you know everybody's quarantined
[00:12:00] And so therefore I just now I respond to spam emails.
[00:12:08] It's funny to imagine is like some like 52 year old man who's like new to computers.
[00:12:14] Just responding pissed off to every single spam email he gets like you must think I was
[00:12:25] I'll have you know I don't know you from Tom Dicker Harry but I've been I've worked
[00:12:31] at fucking batteries plus for 25 years and if you think that a district manager of my
[00:12:39] caliber and esteem would fall for well I got a Brooklyn bridge to sell you pal.
[00:12:44] And let me tell you it's just a fucking robot.
[00:12:47] It's just just emailing robots all day long.
[00:12:54] I know that saying I got a bridge to sell you.
[00:12:56] But wouldn't it be cool to own a bridge?
[00:13:00] You could just fucking sit up there by yourself.
[00:13:06] You get pussy from the girls on the bridge.
[00:13:18] You have to deal with them damn trolls underneath the bridge.
[00:13:21] Well you get to shoot whatever troll under the bridge.
[00:13:50] Who's that thing that Yogi Bear would say?
[00:13:52] Just your average fucking bear didn't he say something like that?
[00:14:02] But I'm just some I'm a fucking just a bear over here.
[00:14:07] I'm a regular ass fucking bear over here.
[00:14:15] Don't make fucking eye contact with me.
[00:14:23] I would love to have a trivia show where you don't have to get the answer right.
[00:14:27] You have to guess whatever I'm thinking.
[00:14:56] You're just sitting on a pile of money.
[00:15:02] They just, we're going to the children's hospitals, bringing cold hard cash.
[00:15:09] Just opening a briefcase on some, just slamming it down on the hospital bed.
[00:15:28] God, you guys hope this guy for fucking thinks of what I'm thinking of.
[00:15:36] When we got back from Iraq, we knew we wanted to do something with either charity or coffee.
[00:15:41] And the problem of both is that they're both gay.
[00:15:46] All the coffee has been unfagged by other veterans.
[00:15:50] So we do, we do, we do make a wish, but fuck you style charity.
[00:15:55] So we're going to show these kids how they would get treated if they were in Iraq.
[00:15:59] If they happened to be born in Iraq instead of America.
[00:16:02] They were one of us, one of the devil brothers.
[00:16:07] Devil brothers from hell have come back from hell doing hell shit to say, to save good
[00:16:14] white children, white meaning American, not white, nationally white.
[00:16:24] Look, you asked me brother, as long as you're as long as you're fucking, you got one hand
[00:16:29] up towards the American flag, you're white to me.
[00:16:32] I mean this, the one, the way we do saluting by the I mean, I mean the one that we're supposed
[00:16:50] Just part of my just kidding mentality.
[00:16:52] I know those guys were that we'll be kidding us.
[00:16:57] They're the fun some of the funniest guys.
[00:17:01] Part of my just just kidding lifestyle.
[00:17:08] Yeah, we in Iraq, you really learned how to laugh for the first time.
[00:17:14] bring a fucking Humvee to a kid who's got leukemia. Get in. It's yours. Where's John Cena?
[00:17:22] It's yours. John Cena is behind you pushing you, making your step on the accelerator.
[00:17:27] Let's do 95 in the 30. That's not John Cena. You got to prove that you're not a P.U. S.
[00:17:34] Y. I'm getting cold. Yeah, it's because your blood sucks. Because you got nothing
[00:17:44] but what do you got in those veins? You got fucking menstrual fluid in there. What's this?
[00:17:48] What's this bag? It was a big, big, big, big, old bag of pussy fluid here. What is that
[00:17:54] from your momma's pussy? Why don't you man up? Yeah, we're taking the lessons that Chris
[00:18:00] Kyle taught us to save these kids from cancer by being by doing exactly what they need,
[00:18:07] which is some tough love. Jenny Jones food camp style.
[00:18:10] They're gonna boot camp Jenny Jones Jenny Jones. Okay. Today we're talking to eight
[00:18:16] year olds who have cancer. We're gonna straighten them out. We got Marine Kyle coming in and
[00:18:22] Camp Kyle's gonna tell these kids what for, you know? What do you think I'm doing? Pussy
[00:18:30] do you want to grow up to be a pussy? Stop having cancer now. Drop it and just stop having
[00:18:36] cancer. Just stop it. Hold my pocket. Yeah. None of this. No chemotherapy for you, bitch.
[00:18:44] Coming out of my girlfriend's unscared not having cancer anymore. We're taking we're
[00:18:50] taking white kids to jail. You suck my dick to you ain't got cancer no more. That's what
[00:19:00] I'm gonna do to you. I would love I love that just the guys they get for scared straight.
[00:19:06] Just sexual predators. Yeah. All right. Listen up fellas. Just tension real quick. Hey,
[00:19:12] Marcus quiet down. So we got an elementary school coming to the prison. Couple of kids
[00:19:18] are pretty bad. We need to know who is willing to threaten to rape and murder children to
[00:19:23] their face. So they stop stealing gift cards from Best Buy or that they or that they do
[00:19:31] their homework. We need to impose lasting permanent psychological trauma on these kids
[00:19:39] and documented on video and replay it so that throughout their life, you know, when they
[00:19:43] check the TV guide listings, they'll remember the day that they were verbally sexually assaulted.
[00:19:49] It'll go into syndication. Who's one boy's got an extra Dorito packet for you. I remember
[00:19:55] they did that remake as scared straight and they had one. They had this like little black
[00:19:58] kid and they these guys like threw him into a bathroom stall and it's like two grown men
[00:20:03] and this kid's like five feet. And they're like you when you in here now you can't do
[00:20:08] nothing. What are you gonna do? We can have all way with you know, they're just to describe
[00:20:12] what they're saying that they could like rape him in the bathroom stall and he's just like
[00:20:19] crying. I saw one where a kid like yeah, well, I bet he'll never a better never tell the
[00:20:24] teacher to shut up after he'll never take paper clips without permission anymore. Now
[00:20:32] that I said I was going to put my thumbs in his ass and spread them open. Yeah, that's
[00:20:36] what we're gonna do. We're gonna put a speculum down a stroke and then drip get the paraplegia
[00:20:42] guy the paraplegia gang member. We're gonna beat him off and let him drip nut down your
[00:20:47] throat. Real chair guy. We use. I saw one where a kid actually swung on someone and he basically
[00:20:58] called their bluff. He's like you can't hurt me and then you just swung on somebody. It's
[00:21:03] pretty funny actually. Wasn't that one maybe we talked about on the show where there's
[00:21:08] like a British version of this where they did not really do any homework and they sent
[00:21:13] a guy in there and he did get raped. What? Yeah. No. I think we talked about this like
[00:21:19] a child. The British people they get raped at like regular private school. That's so funny
[00:21:25] that you like you could go to private school in Britain and get like there's a good chance
[00:21:29] you'll get raped right. Oh 100% and you have to be in your rapist as you will and then
[00:21:34] you have to be an adult or whatever and then like you're trying to navigate your life.
[00:21:39] You run away from your stupid fucking rich family and you're like slumming it and fucking
[00:21:46] maybe that's why they had been in Chester. In shester. Chester bread or Doryburg or wherever
[00:21:52] the fuck you know don't know Northern English town you end up in. Yep. And people are like
[00:21:58] oh you went to private school. It's giving you a hard time. Yeah you must add it real
[00:22:04] easy. That's why I left. So I left to be Adam Sr. That's my origin story. Dude you think
[00:22:16] that's why they invaded India because they were like I have to go. I'm getting away from
[00:22:20] here. It was the farthest place. They just got tired of getting raped. I'm gonna go down
[00:22:26] and I'm gonna put a big feather on my head. I'm gonna be an Indian guy. I'm gonna rape
[00:22:32] them. That'll show them. I'll bugger them. Oh rape them. Man raped by inmates during
[00:22:42] scared straight prison tour British Columbia. Oh we're gonna pull that up. Oh so that's
[00:22:48] in Canada. Oh yeah. Yeah we talked about this before but still it was like terms of probation
[00:22:55] in the late 1970s. And I think we can squarely put that man in the owned category. Yeah.
[00:23:03] Boom. It was in the late 1970s. So it's probably I feel like there was more rapes happening
[00:23:08] in the late 70s and mid to mid 80s than any other decade in history. You think that was
[00:23:12] rape. Oh yeah baby. Yeah that was that was the. That was the hangover from the free love
[00:23:20] in the late 60s. Yeah the golden age of rape. The free love generation was followed by the
[00:23:27] golden age of rape. Yeah. It is the time to get raped in prison. We're raping everyone.
[00:23:37] Yeah that's some 70s style sucking penis eating asshole. You know I'm just a child of the
[00:23:48] 60s you know getting raped in jail. Just the free love movies are the forced love movement
[00:23:56] in the 1960s. Yeah I used to drive my VW bug. We got a VB me and a couple of guys right
[00:24:02] of VW bus and we go around picking up you know just just fellow lost traveler souls
[00:24:08] and we timed down in the back and we'd have our way with him. Yeah we put it we usually
[00:24:13] put a shotgun in his mouth or his ass and whatever with a shotgun wasn't in we put our
[00:24:17] dick and it was kind of a whole scene man. It's like the 18 but yeah but our version
[00:24:25] of the 18 that was going around raping veterans. Yeah kind of the same theme there. The same
[00:24:32] theme. It would be funny if it's the same episode we talked about it involves a bang
[00:24:37] bus in each of them. Remember I could be said they said like rape van all the time and it
[00:24:42] was just because of uh silence at the lambs. He had a van that he raped people in I believe
[00:24:51] yeah he gets the fact he picked up a fact roll up. He's like can you help my arms fuck
[00:24:56] up can you fucking help me put this couch in the back of my van. She's like oh yeah of
[00:25:05] course I'll help this stranger 10 p.m. and he's like oh my user if you are getting a van.
[00:25:12] I haven't seen it like I said. Really? What you should watch it dude it's a Baltimore
[00:25:18] classic. Yeah. You said in Baltimore? Well yeah actually yes. Hannibal Lecter's The
[00:25:23] Insane is silent. It's said in the middle landing so it's all from like Virginia I think it
[00:25:28] goes like southern Virginia to up the Baltimore but I forget where it ends because Buffalo
[00:25:33] Bill was in like Ohio or something. Oh shit. Yeah Hannibal Lecter is from Baltimore and
[00:25:40] he's in oh nice. He's in the Insane is silent in Maryland. Fuck yeah maybe I will watch it.
[00:25:48] I'm thinking on Saturdays I'm going to do a thing where I watch three movies. That's
[00:25:51] my Saturday move so maybe I want to watch Constantine. I want to watch with Keanu Reeves
[00:25:58] where he goes to hell. No that's cool. I want to watch Little Nikki. Yeah. Oh that's a classic
[00:26:04] fucking classic. I saw somebody post about your doing you're doing the hell series.
[00:26:09] I think yeah I think I'm going to do the hell series. So what's the third hell. So okay I
[00:26:12] can do. End of days. End of days. End of days. End of days is a great pick. Really? Who's
[00:26:19] in that Arnold Arnold Schwarzenegger. Hell yeah dude. I'm. It's done. Was that his comeback
[00:26:27] after Governor. Was end of days or did that come out before. I think six days came out
[00:26:33] before that. Whatever. No end of days. End of days was what? My penis is six inches
[00:26:40] exactly. I thought that was his first movie after Governor. 1999. Yeah end of days came
[00:26:46] out before six days. They come out. Six days was probably what 2001. Is it a banger or is
[00:26:55] it like some old Arnold shit. The sixth. Six days. Six days. 2000. Fucking end of days
[00:27:03] is 1999. Oh you should also watch spawn. I've seen spawn though. You should watch the HBO
[00:27:12] spawn mini series. Okay. Starring James Gandalfini's as Antonio spawn. Do you want to go spawn
[00:27:20] already? Yeah. Spawn Antonio spawn. Do you want to do. Hey I'm fucking in hell. Hell's
[00:27:28] different than it used to be. You know how you used to be. It's different now. We stuff
[00:27:34] guys like Satan eight off Hitler. And with Jeffrey Epstein. Oh he's a child Mulaz. He's
[00:27:44] child. Malestice. He is. Who is the honor now? Where's honor? Where's the guys that used
[00:27:51] to kill a bunch of Jews? Now it's the fucking Jew. Not a Jews are down here too. Where's
[00:27:56] the ethnic cleansing? Now we got Jews in here. Where's Jewish? You know it used to be my
[00:28:01] people that ruin this neighborhood. We used to be the ones doing all the crime. And we
[00:28:08] got other big other guys moving in here doing a different type of crime. He's being a respectable
[00:28:14] place. You could go around breaking people's knees and demanding money from milk vendors.
[00:28:19] Now now look at it. It's somebody doing heroin and minding their own business and listening
[00:28:25] to music I don't like. Now it's a different. It's a they fucked it down downhill. It's
[00:28:34] shit. Nobody's terrorizing blue collar workers just trying to make a living barely getting
[00:28:38] by. You know like we did. Nobody's doing that to have mistresses to also beat like their
[00:28:44] wives. Yeah. Because we brought that something we brought over from the old country. Literally
[00:28:50] the only piece of culture we retained is the worst aspect of no I don't speak a language
[00:28:58] the doochlio. No. Yeah I don't know. And when I did I speak at worst than somebody who's
[00:29:02] in the first first class you could ever take on Italian. I speak it worse than if you just
[00:29:08] showed a mentally incapacitated person Italian and asked them to guess how it's pronounced.
[00:29:13] I speak it worse than him. You could shove spaghetti up of an age patient's ass and have
[00:29:18] him shit it out and would sound more like Italian spoken in Italy than the way that
[00:29:23] I pronounce capital. Then me trying to fumble my way through a sandwich menu. It's true
[00:29:31] most of their Italian sandwich based. Yeah. Well I'll tell you what this is exciting
[00:29:38] exciting news folks. I love you. I need to I need to do read up my underwear. Wow. Oh.
[00:29:48] And so I thought should I buy underwear or should I talk to our old friends at Mac Weldon
[00:29:52] and just get some underwear from them. Okay. Yeah. What did you do? And they well I talked
[00:29:58] to them and they said yes we'll send you some. And then I think they forgot but I am eagerly
[00:30:06] awaiting my Mac Weldon underwear because the one the one pair I did get from them I ended
[00:30:12] up because they gave you know you get like a little credit or whatever. Yeah to be a sponsor.
[00:30:17] And then I think I blew it on like socks or something and only got one pair of the actual
[00:30:21] underwear but they're great underwear. I'm ready to throw out all of the underwear I have.
[00:30:26] This is great news too. I'm glad they're back on the team because I have shipped my pants
[00:30:30] twice during the quarantine. Oh and I don't know how exactly I've managed to do that.
[00:30:36] You know it's maybe a lot of fruits and vegetables. It's so funny because it's like I kind of
[00:30:40] like I have this attitude of like I don't shit my pants but the other day it's like
[00:30:45] I went to shit and like just complete liquid and it's like it was one of those ones where
[00:30:53] I'm like I should probably sit on the toilet. It might be gas but I should probably sit
[00:30:56] on the toilet. Just to be safe. And it's just I've like just I've just hit my numbers every
[00:31:02] time you know. And that's a nice thing about Mac Weldon is that you can't shit in them.
[00:31:07] It's impossible. It's impossible. It's impossible. Mac Weldon was it was originally a diaper
[00:31:12] company and then they thought everyone knows that. They thought they thought well what
[00:31:19] if we could actually prevent people from shooting their pants in the first place and
[00:31:23] so there's actually dangerous chemicals. Yeah. If shit is released your cock will dissolve.
[00:31:31] Yeah. There's actually second you shit. Dangerous chemicals that go up your asshole when you
[00:31:36] put on the underwear that seal everything permanently which actually makes them great
[00:31:42] if you're ever headed to prison because it'll yeah you know if you're about to be scared
[00:31:48] straight put on a pair of Mac weld you can't be sodomized while wearing Mac welding underwear.
[00:31:54] I guarantee you're gonna like the way you're not getting raised. You're gonna like not
[00:32:06] being right. That's the Mac Weldon promise. I guarantee. Yeah. No honestly I'm sitting
[00:32:17] there and I wish I had I wish I had the that I was wearing Mac weld underwear right now.
[00:32:24] And I don't you know I just want to get rid I hate the underwear that I have and it hurts
[00:32:28] my balls. That's tough. You don't want that. My balls hurt from my underwear. I've constantly
[00:32:35] hurt my balls trying to make plug roughers at home. I was gonna ask them anything to do
[00:32:40] with the flood runners. Yeah. So I need Mac weld and underwear to fix my balls. You're
[00:32:44] putting your balls in peril too often then. Yeah they really do. I mean all jokes aside
[00:32:49] it is a very nice pair of underwear. I tried it on. I'm like oh you know because it's like
[00:32:53] one of those things you know before the like the podcast took off it's like oh I need bed
[00:32:57] sheets. So I guess I'll buy like the cheapest fucking piece of shit. I guess I'll buy extra
[00:33:04] large garbage bags. Yeah. Because I mean literally until two years ago I didn't know
[00:33:10] there was a difference between things. Yeah. I got didn't I didn't like it did not occur
[00:33:15] to me that there was possibly a nicer you know like my dishware was always like fucking
[00:33:20] like somebody threw out a bunch of forks. Yeah. You're like 74 seven forks and one knife.
[00:33:28] Yeah. You know the good and then all the forks that they like are coming disconnected from
[00:33:33] the handle. That was my setup like fucking plates that were designed for children that
[00:33:39] come from broken homes to play house with. You know like not even real play like make
[00:33:45] believe. Yeah. Pre-k place. Yeah. Eating off that or whatever. Yeah. So yeah my my my approach
[00:33:54] to underwear was very similar. You know you get the fucking Joe Boxer. Thirty six pairs
[00:34:00] of underwear including an extra one just in case just in case thirty six in a bag wasn't
[00:34:06] enough. You know refresh. If you get if you're not necessarily potty trains these are the
[00:34:14] other you but anyway they're disposable basically. Yeah but that that Mac welding shit man I'll
[00:34:19] tell you it's that's nice. Great. Those you're not gorgeously feels good on your ass cheeks.
[00:34:24] Yes. I love get have my ass cheeks slicked up by a nice well. Oh yeah. I said it's the
[00:34:32] home grown down here in Louisiana and all the cotton's cotton never touches a pair of hands.
[00:34:37] There's a man goes through the field got his butt cheeks out and just rubs it. Glue glues
[00:34:43] up his butt cheeks and just runs through the field and all the cotton is done. Stick to
[00:34:47] him. That's how you know God smiled on his ass and said these are that's the cotton
[00:34:52] for your underwear and that's how we that's how Magu
[00:34:57] welding sources all of their kind. Yeah and feet now going on twenty five years that it
[00:35:00] has been the entire process not a single stage involved slave labor. Nope. This is just the
[00:35:07] glue between a man's ass cheeks since 1995 we are 100 percent slave. It's the owner of
[00:35:16] the company blue but super glue that boy super glue up his ass. Now he is a retard boy.
[00:35:21] I'll let you know that that's true by law you got a pain. You didn't know he is not.
[00:35:28] He is allowed his God given freedom to run butt cheeks out through that field which is
[00:35:33] don't that's how that's how you know God smiled on him. The ultimate form of payment for that
[00:35:38] he that he found his way into a position as the butt cheek boy and and Louise in is number
[00:35:45] one under welcome. If you are if you are if you are have mental disabilities your number
[00:35:51] one goal in life is to pick cotton with your ass. How about George Zimmer but he's like
[00:35:56] you know he's got like a nipple clamps on and just like a little leather hat and he's
[00:36:00] new rising his penis is out it's men's bear house. Yes and he's like fuck me in my ass.
[00:36:08] Yep I get no guarantee or and we're back to Mac well. Yeah they got underwear the underwear
[00:36:17] is good they got a bunch of other shit like I said I blew the money on socks and the socks
[00:36:22] with those pants socks are good but that's the other thing too is like you know I just
[00:36:27] buy cheap socks I didn't know all their shit's nice. They got a great shit bitch get some Mac
[00:36:33] well these. Oh shit here's this new they got a new adjustable storm chaser rain jacket.
[00:36:38] Oh I don't know I don't know what adjustable means does that mean it has a zipper. Yeah
[00:36:44] it has a first time ever it's a jacket. They're fucking real good they're just different
[00:36:50] being closed and open. Yeah the storm chaser. Like you're in the movie Twister they actually
[00:36:57] have another line of a jackets called the bug chaser and the atom has that one. Yes
[00:37:02] that's true I do have that. It goes it kind of it buckles like a baby's onesie under your
[00:37:09] balls and ass and actually there's a hole in the ass part that's what the image is.
[00:37:14] It's got a slot where you can put your safe word if you forget it you can pull it out
[00:37:18] and say it yeah. Also you can zip it all up and only have your eyes. Yeah it's a gimp
[00:37:24] it's a gimp suit. Yeah it's a gimp suit. But it's it's Mac patented Mac patented Mac
[00:37:30] welded. It's got silver eye on techno all the time microbial. Yeah anti microbial. And
[00:37:35] just will storm chaser rain jacket. These are really this is the longest lasting highest
[00:37:42] quality items in the market. Shit. Yeah I love items and I love it when they're the longest
[00:37:48] lasting when they're on the market and they're the longest lasting on the market. You know
[00:37:52] me dude I'm a player. I'm a straight up player. I love the game. I fucking stroll into the
[00:37:57] market. I'm spending my time piece around my penis is pulled through the fly to my
[00:38:01] suit suit and it's swinging back and forth to the tick of my clock. Very nice. Oh you
[00:38:06] have them set up so the clock and the cock yeah or are some bad. Yeah they're baby and
[00:38:11] people are like hey man nice cock where'd you get that zoot suit and I say Mac welden.com
[00:38:16] yep and then and then they go on there like I don't see zoot suits on here and you're like
[00:38:21] I meant something else but the check out the jacket check I forgot to put the jacket.
[00:38:26] I was wearing the suits nice because I was raining earlier and I had the storm tracer
[00:38:31] jacket on protecting my time piece and my cock. That's right and my suit so that's but check
[00:38:37] them out. So just check them out anyway though. Yeah check them out. Yeah they got really good
[00:38:48] stuff. Yeah they got good stuff. It's just shaping it's bleeding because of the zipper.
[00:38:54] Yeah. What's the word Chopper. Anybody know what time it is. I can't look at my clock
[00:39:04] because then I can't spin it anymore. I want to look at it but I'd rather keep spinning
[00:39:08] it. If I get it took 20 minutes to get my cock and sing with my time piece. It's all
[00:39:15] right. It's like doing double Dutch. If I stop I'm afraid my penis will fall off. My penis
[00:39:19] might fall off. It's fake. My real penis is a nub. I'm wearing a glue to attach it. I'm
[00:39:29] wearing it. Yeah I stole some butt cheek glue off a retard boy. I glued up fake cock here.
[00:39:36] On the mascot of Mac Weldon the spy verse spy guy with his dick out guy versus guy.
[00:39:51] Yeah guys trying to suck each other. They're just like they're just like this is by verse
[00:39:56] by guys and they've got binoculars on. They're trying to see each other's dicks. They're on
[00:40:02] separate buildings trying to look at each other's socks. There's this. How does spy
[00:40:08] verse. There's one win. There's the white one win. I have no idea. There's a go back
[00:40:12] and forth. Imagine being road runners. Whoever came up with that shit that guy got it made
[00:40:17] that and and the dude came up with a no fear pissing boy. Yeah. Yeah. Calvin and Hobbes.
[00:40:24] Yeah whatever the nobody knows what it's from but the boy is pissing. I straight up didn't
[00:40:31] know that that was Calvin. It's it's very clearly Calvin. Calvin. I didn't know for you. I knew
[00:40:37] him as the boy pissing for years. Yeah. It's fun. I didn't know about Calvin and Hobbes.
[00:40:41] Pissing boy and cat. Comic. It's fun to just be like a just like a hick reading. Calvin
[00:40:46] Hobbes. Where's he going to start pissing on shit. Boy doing nothing. He's going to piss
[00:40:53] on a tiger. Where's he going? I've known him about from the pissing stuff man. That's
[00:40:58] what got me into this. He hasn't pissed on a Chevy logo once. If you watch a preview
[00:41:03] for a movie and it's got a boy and he's done pissing on shit like the words fear. You know
[00:41:08] fucking chevro late and that's being pissed all over and you watch the movie and it's
[00:41:13] some gay shit about imagination. Brother I'm about to do a James Holmes. And that's all
[00:41:21] a bumper sticker is. It's a preview for the movie of whatever the thing is. And that's
[00:41:27] that's today's sermon for you. I'll see y'all next Sunday. I'll see you. I'll see y'all.
[00:41:33] Amen. Thank you. Yeah. Promo. What was the promo code for Mac? Oh we're still doing
[00:41:37] it. We're still doing it. They believe in smart design premium fabrics and simple shopping.
[00:41:44] Yes. Most comfortable underwear socks shirts, undo shirts, hoodies and sweatpants and more
[00:41:50] that you'll ever wear. More you hear that? Like regular pants on them sweat. Yeah.
[00:41:56] What if we made condoms for people? Do they how would that work Don? I don't know. Are
[00:42:08] they thicker or are they thinner? Shut up. Yeah well they have like a safety just shaped
[00:42:13] the elements just shut the fuck up. Yes sir. Just everyone shut up. Should be a safer
[00:42:20] condo. Yeah. What are you here? Silence. And what are we doing silence? We don't know Don.
[00:42:30] I'm I'm asking you. I've come to see. I've to be quite honest with you. I'm trying to
[00:42:40] get fired. The lucky strikes put him in a shot him in his ass. Yeah. Because if I got
[00:42:49] fired I would spend all of my time at home having sex. Yes. Most comfortable. They want
[00:42:56] you to be comfortable. So if you don't like your first bear underwear you can keep it
[00:42:59] and they will still refund you. That's that's oh yeah. Silver line. I forgot. You know
[00:43:03] we do the other reads and there's so much bullshit in the fucking talking points are
[00:43:07] like it's the best next bullet point. It's also good. You know. Yeah. Do I have to read
[00:43:14] all the shit? Anyways but this is there. They do have the good shit. Magwadens is just the
[00:43:18] facts kind of come. Yeah right. The silver underwear and shirts that are naturally antimicrobial
[00:43:24] which means they make your dick look bigger. So big. They're antimicrobial penis seal.
[00:43:31] Which means they shrink your thighs somehow. Yeah. They want you to be comfortable. So
[00:43:37] if you don't like your first pair underwear you can keep it and they will still refund
[00:43:40] you. No questions asked. That's a free pair of underwear and they're good underwear too.
[00:43:45] You could just you could scam them. You could just get the underwear and be like yeah I don't
[00:43:48] fucking like it. I don't like it. And then you get it for free. Oh and this is now we
[00:43:56] got Mac Weldon really does value it's loyal customers. They've created the Weldon Blue
[00:44:01] loyalty program. Wow. Nice for the. You can't be in the loyalty program. What this shit
[00:44:08] doesn't need to have a name. I'm sorry. Just you guess a sign up for an account and you
[00:44:14] get a discount. Right. That's it. You know the Mac Weldon Blue Lives Matter program.
[00:44:19] The Mac Weldon for the cops. I like to get my dick Weldon Blue. Cut off all circular
[00:44:26] tie time underwear on my dick and get it weldon blue. Mm hmm. Was it racist children's band
[00:44:32] Prussian blue? Is that it? Yeah. Prussian blue. Yeah. Is it racist children's plans?
[00:44:37] Yeah. But then they went I think they went. Rasta. They went anti racist. They went they
[00:44:42] stopped being racist and then they went rasta. Fuck yeah. Ross. Pretty sick. Very cool.
[00:44:48] Mac Weldon really does value it's loyal customers. Yeah. That's why they created the Weldon Blue
[00:44:52] loyalty program. I like the opposite of Maud as Yahoo. Yeah. Maud as Yahoo does not value
[00:44:57] as customers. They they create an account. It's totally free. Level one place in order
[00:45:05] for any amount and never pay for shipping yet. Oh, that's cool. Oh, that's here that
[00:45:10] Nick now. Now you matter has a name. Yeah. I still think a name is a bad idea. These are
[00:45:14] great benefits. Level one you get a place in order for any amount. You never pay for shipping
[00:45:19] again. Level two once you first $200 for the products of Mac Weldon. Not only will you
[00:45:23] continue to receive free shipping, but you also start saving 20% on every order you make
[00:45:27] for the next year. That actually is awesome. And level two also grants you access to new
[00:45:32] products before they're released to anyone else as well as free gifts added to future
[00:45:37] orders. They better give us access to those. I'm trying to be level two. If I have to read
[00:45:41] all this bullshit, then I better be in the Weldon Blue loyalty program. I'm trying to
[00:45:45] be well. I got my balls nice and weldon blue. Yeah. Why don't you how about the me loyalty
[00:45:50] program? How about you? You can do my program and then I can get free access. I want the
[00:45:56] next jacket. Yeah. I want the I want the parka. I want the pussy chaser. The pussy chaser.
[00:46:03] Yeah. Yeah. The pussy chaser jacket. Personal experience. Oh, we did it about that. Yeah.
[00:46:14] Okay. All right. So let's see here where the fuck is. No, I'm yeah. I'm looking for the
[00:46:23] promo code. Here we go. For 20% off your first order, visit macworld.com and enter promo code
[00:46:29] comtown20. That's CUMTOWN20. If we had we probably had an older promo code. This one
[00:46:37] is comtown20. Come down 20, bitch. Use that one. Yeah. Use that one or suck this dick.
[00:46:42] Because they got a suck cold steel. They got a check. They got to check all this shit for
[00:46:48] metrics or something. But CUMTOWN20. Yeah. 20% off your first order, which you spend $200
[00:46:56] and you get 20% off all your fucking shit. That's really good. So my spend $200 get 20
[00:47:03] off. And then you get 20 for the rest of your fucking life. Damn. I love doing this. I wish
[00:47:09] I could just be on QVC. Me too, bro. I'm going to start drinking. If I get a QVC show
[00:47:15] and start drinking again, just being like, what? You're fucking see this shit? It's a
[00:47:20] fucking magnet on your refrigerator. But you take it off and it's an elevator lift for
[00:47:26] your shoe. I'm coming here. I'm coming home from a long day of being five foot six and
[00:47:34] a half at the office. And I see my I see my son for a minute for him to respect me. I
[00:47:42] take it out. I'm five foot three. And then I guess who's putting now it's my turn to
[00:47:46] be proud. And I'm putting his homework up on the refrigerator. Call now 15 payments,
[00:47:52] 85 million families together 87 99 a week for 13 years. The entire collection of magnets
[00:48:01] can be yours. You call now we're throwing in this lightsaber I found at Salvation Army.
[00:48:08] We got homeless man shit all over the first caller gets the complimentary life. Say life's
[00:48:15] labor from Salvation Army, which I'm being told is actually just part of a anomor. It's
[00:48:21] the it's not a lightsaber. It was a clothing rack and an omele piece of wood that someone
[00:48:27] has put in their ass. What I like to call it is a we call it the imagination shaft because
[00:48:34] it can be like. We're always drinking. We're always thinking of stuff here at QVC that
[00:48:39] could be different. It could be different. That's the key to QVC Q. A lot of people
[00:48:47] don't even know QVC stands for. They say Q how many words start a Q Queen queer quality
[00:48:54] yeah. Quality vagina chomping. Is that what it stands for? I don't actually know. You
[00:49:01] know all of you vagina. I just show up and they pay me $700,000 a year. I don't know
[00:49:07] what I'm talking about. Fuck. They got good pussy on QVC honestly. Yeah. I've tried
[00:49:11] all of it. The five three lifts guy fucks everybody. That guy runs. You see he runs
[00:49:20] getting pussy from every bitch selling her mop. Yeah. Her cake pan. Oh yeah. No, we're
[00:49:26] all drunk. I'd like to see them try to meet to me. The police are calling QVC and they're
[00:49:33] like, are you a woman? Are you working a QVC call now in the next 15 minutes? If you
[00:49:38] report a rape, you'll be able to accuse three men for free. Yeah, you can try me bitch.
[00:49:48] QVC's in international waters. Yeah. We're in an island floating off the coast. Oh yeah.
[00:49:53] Actually we're in studio city. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up man. They think they think the
[00:49:59] Culver City is international. I've convinced all the women here that international waters,
[00:50:06] it means any body of water. So if they're pussy's wet, there's no laws. Nobody's ever
[00:50:13] wet. Yeah. Fucking five three and you're committing rape. I'm trying to I'm trying to
[00:50:18] get some international waters. You know what I'm saying? Sir, your mic is on the hot mic
[00:50:23] situation. Yeah, I know I'm talking into it. You're talking into the mic. You're admitting
[00:50:28] all your crimes on television right now. I'm so drunk. I've been broadcasting collapsible
[00:50:39] ladders and Tupperware for 47 hours straight. And when we go to commercial break, I've been
[00:50:46] I got much of this little airport shooters. Look, look behind. Look behind the craft
[00:50:52] service. It does. There's a fucking pile of them three and a half feet tall. It's flu
[00:50:58] shots. Yeah, I'm trying to die on air. I'm trying to do I'm doing like a leaving QVC
[00:51:04] moment. Uh huh. Yeah, that's beautiful. You know, I told that Chinese girl, I said you
[00:51:10] want to be my Elizabeth shoe. And she's like, I don't know what you're talking about. You
[00:51:14] smell you smell terrible. Yeah, please leave me alone. Yeah. Who is Elizabeth shoe? She's
[00:51:21] the girl from leaving Las Vegas girl from leaving Las Vegas. The QVC guy is drinking
[00:51:25] himself to death and it did wild film in QVC. And he's like, he's like, maybe you can be
[00:51:32] my endo, the only the reference only exists in his head. No one knows. Yeah. So she's like,
[00:51:38] what do you mean? I'm never see you leaving Las Vegas. She hasn't either. You're the Chinese
[00:51:43] girl. Oh, nice. Because you both have small, small genitalia. That's not true. It is true.
[00:51:50] I agree with you, Nick. That's yeah. What the hell was that? I didn't say that. Sounds
[00:51:55] like you agree with me. No, I don't. Yeah. What is that? Why just said stop at a small
[00:52:01] penis and stop said I agree with you, Nick. No, I don't. What? Yeah, I mean, I do not
[00:52:07] agree with you. Yeah, I'm think so. Sounds like that shows growth for you. Hold on a second.
[00:52:12] Hold on a second. What? No. You got him back there, buddy. No, what?
[00:52:19] Actually, I don't agree with you. I just, you know, right now, because you only get one
[00:52:28] chance to answer. Okay. Okay. You're taking small. I agree with you, Nick. No, I don't.
[00:52:35] I'm sorry, man, but we all heard you. You said you agree with me and it was. Well, okay,
[00:52:43] let me ask you this is Adam's penis. Small. Yes. I agree with you, Nick. I agree with
[00:52:48] you, Nick. No, that's you can't say that. Maybe I can't judge that. He can. He can say
[00:52:56] that. I agree with you, Nick. Yep. I agree that I can say that. Thank you, Nick. I don't
[00:53:01] think there's a reason to use this button if it seems you're going to agree with me.
[00:53:07] I liked it. It exists though. You got to add a psych at the end to cancel it out. A psych
[00:53:12] would be good for your purposes. Not that I want to give you more arrows in the quiver,
[00:53:16] but anytime I say anything where I'm like, my dick isn't small, you can say psych afterwards.
[00:53:20] Yeah, I'm going to bring that soundboard back and use it against you. Yeah, that makes sense.
[00:53:25] That's my that's my campaign strategy. What are you running for? The summer of sound.
[00:53:32] No, I mean like a military campaign. Okay. Nice. Fuck yeah. Operation Hoggendons. When
[00:53:41] I don't even like it that when I turn against Stav. But only to curry favor with Adam.
[00:53:46] And then once Adam lets his guard down, blammo. That's the final move. Wow. Okay. That's
[00:54:01] good to know, man. Now that you've tipped your hand, now that I can now I'll go to the fucking
[00:54:05] artillery shack and get more fucking guns than you actually. Damn. I'm going to get a
[00:54:12] big gun. Yeah, I wish I had I should get a better soundboard. The most only got three
[00:54:20] buttons now because it was six, but three of the slots are used up for the USB to get
[00:54:25] the sound back from from the zoom. Interesting. I feel like, you know, with this quarantine
[00:54:30] shit, I've gone through cycles where it's like, you know, and everyone does where first
[00:54:34] there's maybe like a slight novelty to it, you know, you know, it's fucked for sure.
[00:54:38] You feel selfish for being like, Oh, this is kind of cool. Yeah. Even though it's like,
[00:54:44] it's it's not tight. It's just that there's a change and it's exciting because life is
[00:54:49] but not like a week. It feels like a vacation. Yeah, stay cation. Yeah, I don't know if it's
[00:54:54] like camping out at your house vacation. It's like, let's see what's going to happen. I guess
[00:54:58] and then I guess yeah, that goes away. And then there's like frustration. And now I think
[00:55:03] I'm dead. I don't think I accept this. Yeah, I just I don't feel anything. That's a great
[00:55:13] stage to get to honestly. I'm jealous of that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of like you
[00:55:19] add or Nick, you're kind of the way every woman that fucks Adams, the fucks Adams pussy
[00:55:24] feels. I agree with you, Nick. You agreed with yourself? That's not how it was Nick nodded.
[00:55:30] So I agree with you. I agree with you, Nick. Tea party and you're all right. Oh, we're
[00:55:39] so clear what every woman's pussy. What do you guys tea partying or what do you guys
[00:55:45] tea partying or agreeing with each other? We got a couple of guys that some sort of tea
[00:55:49] party. There's just Fox news boys over here. Why are we the tea party? I don't get it.
[00:55:55] I don't know why I said I thought tea party is I think it's what's it from the game?
[00:56:01] Four Square. What do we get over here? It's got a couple of two four square and seven
[00:56:06] years ago. Adams Duke. I thought a two party was when two people in of the four bounce
[00:56:12] back and forth between the two of these three called the part four inches and seven millimeters.
[00:56:18] Oh, I got the wrong speech. Sorry, everybody. It was a letter to a friend of mine who measures
[00:56:31] things. Anyways, slavery's bad. Slavery's bad. I'm labor Ham Bullrock a Lincoln bomber.
[00:56:44] My name is Abraham Hussein Lincoln. It's true. He was a Muslim love to fuck my friend's
[00:56:56] thighs. Yeah, I was putting blubber on my friend's thighs and fucking it like it's a
[00:57:00] pussy. It's funny. It's like for a second, they're struggling. I'm like, I'm like,
[00:57:03] fuck, what does Abraham Lincoln sound like? And it's like, Oh, I have no idea. Who cares?
[00:57:08] Yeah, I was like, I was like, why can't I do an impression of Abraham Lincoln? My can't
[00:57:11] even like, he had a high pitched voice. So he sounded like you. I agree with you, Nick.
[00:57:18] Okay, I do. Let me read. I do agree. You didn't need a button. He would have just said it.
[00:57:24] No, apparently he had a high pitched voice. Yeah, you know that because of Daniel Day
[00:57:28] Lewis. No, but yeah, that's why I learned it, obviously. Yeah, well, but they like, uh,
[00:57:35] does account as knowledge if you learned it from a movie. That's not true. Yes, it is.
[00:57:41] I learned a lot of stuff from movies. Herbie fully loaded. There's a lot of good information
[00:57:47] in that. Like what? I don't, I don't know. Everyone saw a liar fucking liar with a little
[00:57:56] ass dick. Herbie the love bug. He was the reboot with Lindsey. Yeah, I mean, the car
[00:58:05] drives up like the Golden Gate Bridge. That's pretty cool. Then that happened. I don't know.
[00:58:11] I always wanted to do it. Would you like it, Nick? If you had a best friend who was a car?
[00:58:15] I'm not going to answer that question. It's insulting. The answer is, of course, the fuck
[00:58:24] does that even mean? You would love to have a situation. So I just, I am the, it's in
[00:58:31] a world where there's anthropomorphic cars. One of them happens to be my friend. Your
[00:58:35] best friend. Honestly, no. Why not? Because you don't want to drive it. Well, I like cars
[00:58:42] and they don't need to be people that I can have conflict with. There will be no conflict
[00:58:47] is your best friend. It's your best friend. You guys get along great. No, you know, everybody
[00:58:51] has conflict with my minder complex. We get over with your best friend. Yeah, I just don't
[00:58:55] want to have to like bitch to other cars being like, well, that's it's not even really that
[00:59:01] big of a deal. But like they won't fucking let it go. I'm not going to let it go. So now
[00:59:06] we just have to pretend to fucking still be mad for days on end, even though we're both
[00:59:10] exactly 35 years old. This is very illuminating. What you think of your relationship with your
[00:59:16] best friend is like, what you need is like a second best friend car who tells you and
[00:59:21] the car that the other one is really sorry, but too proud to admit it. You know, maybe
[00:59:26] Jewish intermediary car. Maybe. What kind of cars do they make in Israel? Yeah. But the
[00:59:36] problem is is that that car would just run out of gas if it weren't for the other two
[00:59:40] cars towing it around town con. That's true. It's ran out of gas 10 years ago. I agree
[00:59:47] with you. That car. Yeah, that car has ended an engine in it since 2012. But every once
[00:59:57] in a while, you can come in handy. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I suppose if I had that dynamic
[01:00:05] and yeah, that would be nice. I had two cars. They were like complimenting each other.
[01:00:13] It was like a system. Yeah, that would be fine. That would be nice. Yeah, I would like to
[01:00:21] have a car like kid from night ride or dude. Yeah. Just as pussy over here. Stop rose,
[01:00:26] Mr. Feeney. Yeah. There's a girl that wants to psychopiness over here. Stop rose. That
[01:00:33] would be invaluable information to have for my car. What are you drinking, Adam? I love
[01:00:40] the paintbrush. Michael, I can fill your penis on the seats. It feels great. Is your penis
[01:00:46] getting harder, Michael? Uh, kids. What the fuck? Kit, that's pretty fucked up that you
[01:00:54] would do that. Michael Michael, are you? Do you have your underwear off? Because I can
[01:00:58] fill your balls on the seat. It feels great. Michael, like your car. Your car. I just wanted
[01:01:06] to throw some with you. Yeah. I'm saying for the woman in the car. Michael, I love the
[01:01:11] way your balls. Oh, so good. When you're driving around naked, the way your balls stick to my
[01:01:15] leather seats. It feels great. It feels really good. Michael.
[01:01:27] What a sick theme song, dude. Cool shorts. They are balls of sitting kind of strange and
[01:01:33] kind of Michael, I'm going to raise the seat up so it touches your penis. If it's all right
[01:01:41] with you, Michael, I'm going to turn the seat warm is up so you're not expanding this more
[01:01:45] surface area to touch my seat. I think it was Mr. Feeney. Can you hear that? Yeah. So
[01:01:54] badass. Hey. Oh, hell yeah. Hey. Damn, this shit rocks. Oh shit. I think
[01:02:23] currency did a he sampled this. I remember that song. Yeah. Shit rocks. Yeah. That's
[01:02:32] one of the best, the best theme songs of all time. Probably one of them. That one, Baywatch
[01:02:39] is Baywatch is a good theme song. Baywatch is solid for sure. The Hill Street Blues theme
[01:02:43] song might be my favorite theme song. I don't know it off the top of my dick. We get it.
[01:02:48] How did that sound? That come through loud and clear? Yeah. Yeah. It only cut off the
[01:02:53] way your shit cuts off for some reason. We still it was better last couple of weeks,
[01:02:57] but it's still getting back to that for some reason. Well, yours is doing it also. Well,
[01:03:03] maybe fuck you actually. What is this? It's a fucking ad for for province sound Massachusetts.
[01:03:14] I don't know. Some Jerry Ruckheimer show, high town on stars. I just deleted the stars.
[01:03:20] I somehow like once every six months, I find out I've been paying stars just hundreds of
[01:03:25] dollars. Yeah. You're like an elite member somehow. No, I fucking delete the subscription.
[01:03:31] And then six months later, stars like what's up? What's up? Actually, it's been. No, yeah,
[01:03:35] no, yeah, no, I came. I just went outside for a cigarette. I've been I was here. You know,
[01:03:41] like a fire up Spartacus. Fuck is this? Yeah. I'm not paying for fucking because I watched
[01:03:47] five minutes of space jam before I sleep. I don't want my stars membership. His way
[01:04:01] till it gets going. Yeah. Okay. This is an awesome one. Shit.
[01:04:16] This camera on could do something with this for sure. I think he may have actually. It
[01:04:26] sounds familiar. Yeah. From Harlem streets. That's right.
[01:04:46] That's right. That's why I know this. I don't actually know this song. I've never seen the
[01:04:50] show. Yeah. The show is good too. Yes, dude. Yes. I'm playing. You guys can't hear, but
[01:04:56] I'm playing the camera one camera on. It's fucking awesome. It basically they basically
[01:05:01] didn't touch it at all. It's the best. He's funnier than most comedians. For sure. He's
[01:05:07] so funny. I'm trying to think of other one other good theme songs. I don't.
[01:05:14] Honestly, neon Genesis and the anime I watched has a pretty banger of a theme song. Yeah.
[01:05:28] Yeah. Nightrider is too good of a theme song for the show. It's incredible. It belongs to
[01:05:36] us. Yeah. It's sick. The Miami Vice theme is great, but that's also. Yeah. It's also
[01:05:45] a big show. You know, it's better than that. It's the other Jen Hammer song Crockett's
[01:05:51] theme from from the show from the show, but it's also it's not the main theme. It's this
[01:05:57] one. Fuck you, Liberty mutual. Liberty penis. I finally know. Fuck you. Fuck YouTube.
[01:06:09] Fuck YouTube shit. Yeah. They're like, do you get to the thing where it's like, do you
[01:06:13] want to watch nine ads now or watch them throughout the video? And it's like, are you
[01:06:17] threatening me? How about I just don't watch this video? Yeah. Fuck you. I'll steal this
[01:06:25] somehow. Yeah. Oh, you know, it's a good theme song. Feel free to disagree. Ducktales.
[01:06:32] Ducktales is a classic. Yeah. That's great. Ducktales. I do. What is it? The fatal farm
[01:06:38] video? That's what we wish that in my memory. What a great. What is that? Don't tell him.
[01:06:44] He's not allowed. All right. The fact that he doesn't already know about it. And it's
[01:06:48] more. We've talked about it on this. We played it on the show like three years ago. Yeah.
[01:06:52] It's I don't remember fucking three months ago. Yeah. You don't remember anyone else's
[01:06:56] jokes. Yeah. In a week, we got a week and save space in a week. You'll say, you're
[01:07:02] gonna be really funny. If you did a video where the girl from Ducktales gets kidnapped by
[01:07:07] the weasels and she's she's held and sexually assaulted. Dude, we played it. I watch it.
[01:07:13] Okay. Now I remember it. Now I remember it. Now I remember it. It was awesome. Yes.
[01:07:17] Tails. Woo. Suck my dick and eat my ass and fuck me. My ass. I can't wait to suck. Fuck
[01:07:30] me. Fuck me. My ass. Use my ass. So like a pussy. Ducktales. I just squeeze my
[01:07:38] duck as Scottish. Yep. Yeah. Is there Scottish Jewish uncle? Yes. He's a miserly Scott. I
[01:07:47] mean, Full House is a great theme song too. It's iconic at least. Yeah. Iconic doesn't
[01:07:52] mean good because it shows that are like have iconic theme songs that suck. What the family
[01:07:56] matters seems on fucking sucks. That's it's bullshit. It's the family matters seems to
[01:08:02] be one of the worst fucking theme songs of all time. Yeah. It has nothing to do with
[01:08:07] the show. Is that it really has nothing. It sounds like Rod Stewart, but I don't think
[01:08:11] it is. Yeah, it's fake Rod Stewart. Yeah. It's like and you know what? This one's kind
[01:08:19] of a hot take. The friends theme song sucks. Friends theme sucks. Hard penis. Yeah. So
[01:08:26] no one told you that I fucked you in the ass. Yeah. I held you down and put yeah Jesse Frederick
[01:08:34] goes to sang the same time. That was the thing. Like if you were a gay guy and like the fucking
[01:08:40] like 1970s or whatever that's all you had to all you could do is either like make puppets
[01:08:45] for children or sing TV theme songs. This is the only two jobs. Alan Thicke write a bunch
[01:08:51] of TV theme songs. Did he? Yeah. Jesse Frederick James Conway is his full name. He was born in
[01:08:58] Salisbury. Oh, she's local boy. Well, he was raised in C for Delaware. Fuck you, bitch.
[01:09:05] Fuck you. You left. Fuck off. You Delaware piece of garbage shit. He died of cystic fibrosis
[01:09:11] at age 12. No, that was his brother. I didn't read the whole thing. Okay. Anyway, let's see.
[01:09:20] Let's say every time you saw a cheers is a really famous. I love reading about these
[01:09:25] guys. Yeah. These like 70s guys, you know, with their shitty comovers and they're like
[01:09:29] sweaters and they're giant lapels that just made theme songs and then you go down to personal
[01:09:33] life and it's always like he died of confirmed bachelor right. He died of AIDS. He got AIDS
[01:09:41] by accident. Yeah, he overdosed on AIDS. Here we go. He just shuts the fucking. Hold on.
[01:09:49] He was married to his. He's married to his wife Holly together. They have two grown
[01:09:53] sons, Karen and Nicholas. So let's see. Let's see who's this beard. I'm going to contact
[01:10:00] this widow and be like, admit it. I'm a podcaster and I was saying you're dead husband's gay
[01:10:06] show and I can't be wrong. Tell me he's fucking gay, bitch. I'm trying to think of other. I
[01:10:21] know I'm forgetting some good. Every whole you fuck. Every. Somebody who needs you. I guess
[01:10:35] I was I guess I was wrong about that guy. He was not gay. Damn, I'm getting I'm getting
[01:10:44] bad at this. I'm getting bad at fucking shooting from the hip and calling people gay based on
[01:10:52] a song. A song I heard them get commissioned to write. Yeah. I mean, the first line is
[01:10:58] it's a rare condition. Yeah. Imagine you're an artist and your first thought is like,
[01:11:03] what's the opening line for this show about a black family in Chicago? It's a rare condition
[01:11:09] and they say black and not being a criminal. You brought this. It's a rare condition. It's
[01:11:17] cold. It's some people haven't even though they're not gay. They're like, they don't
[01:11:24] have eight. They're definitely not gay. Don't check their personal lives. Except the one
[01:11:32] neighbor who might be gay. But then it turns out he's just a nerd. He's not gay. And neither
[01:11:44] am I. I have a wife. It's like something that make like fucking like like family matters
[01:11:51] in like the mid knots because then you could just have scenes where like Erwhal like Carl
[01:11:55] tells Erwhal to leave and Erwhal starts like his eyes roll back and his head and he starts
[01:12:00] hyperventilating and trying to go super sane. And he's got like, yeah, he's like, he's like
[01:12:08] an actual nerd. He's got like shell braids and fuck that. He's wearing like aaver X. Yeah.
[01:12:14] Yeah. Just the most fucking not tended to cornrows of all time. Yeah. Just the messiest corner.
[01:12:21] Laura, I brought over Sonic Adventure two battle. If you want to play Laura, you're not even
[01:12:27] good at school. You're just the fucking loser who tried to speak Japanese. Steve, you're
[01:12:33] an emotional problems. But Steve, I think I'll turn it into school for having emotional
[01:12:38] problems. You have a parole officer because you have temper tantrums. They had to call
[01:12:47] the police to the school because you were spitting on people. You were talking to yourself and
[01:12:53] spitting on people. You were narrating how you were getting range. They'll see one day.
[01:13:02] They'll not messaged Steve. What was that? Steve. They'll all be sorry. Yeah. When Steve
[01:13:13] unlocks his powers. Yeah, the pitch. So basically it's a middle class black Chicago family, but
[01:13:20] the neighbor is a black kid with emotional problems. Yeah, he's like a black nerd. Sounds
[01:13:27] good. We'll take six seasons, please. Off top. Yeah. Now that show was on forever. They
[01:13:35] changed. They changed on like Rachel, like nine times the thing. They just changed the
[01:13:40] whole count. Yeah. They did that with all the different all the black shows. They were
[01:13:44] like, yeah, I just swap them out. Nobody's gonna. There was a couple. Yeah. A couple different
[01:13:48] aunt Viv's. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Everybody knows that Adam. Yeah. Even say that like
[01:13:54] its information is embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah. I agree with you. You're agreeing with your
[01:14:02] seeing your song. Did you know there's more than one on the other? Did you know? That's
[01:14:11] really interesting. What I sound like. Did you close my eyes? Sorry. Who said that? Did
[01:14:20] you just pull a tooth out of your mouth? Me? Stop. No. This is a piece of like a flosser.
[01:14:29] Oh, I love those. What are these? One of these flossing sword. Oh, look like a shark tooth.
[01:14:36] And then I miss the beach. I miss collecting shark teeth on the beach. Fuck yeah, brother.
[01:14:42] I want to get on the beach. Mahalo. Yeah. Dude, I got to get back into Mahalo mindset. What
[01:14:48] are you doing pools in Vegas? Yeah, but you do you have a pool at your house? We we were
[01:14:55] always going to get it. Everyone's got a pool. It's a hundred and fucking 25 degrees in the
[01:15:02] summer. You should just build a pool. Did you build a big one? I'm going to be pissed. You
[01:15:07] should build a pool for your father. Look in the Bible. Look in the Bible. That's true.
[01:15:17] Dude like holes like Stan Stanley motherfucking yell that you should watch that movie again.
[01:15:21] So you should I don't think I will. You should have a shy afternoon. I do want to watch
[01:15:29] their window remake. I remember I used to get so excited about marathons on TV. Yeah, hilarious
[01:15:36] that they call it a marathon. I know you're having a Star Trek push up contest. No, you
[01:15:43] don't actually do push ups. You just sit and watch Star Trek. You actually you actually
[01:15:47] have to add your fees while you watch. Yeah, you watch 14 hours of Star Trek deep space
[01:15:51] nine while eating as a fat child. Just the cheese packet from a craft mac and cheese box
[01:15:58] by itself. As if it were fun dip. Just eating the cheese powder. Wedding finger. Just sticking
[01:16:06] your tongue in there and licking at it. Yeah. And then eating ramen like chips. Yeah.
[01:16:11] Ramen noodles like cheese. Like this is great. I love watching Star Trek. It makes me smarter
[01:16:15] because it's for smart people who know how smart smart. I thought that is good. I thought
[01:16:20] it was like space. I mean science fiction. You got to be a fucking genius to understand this.
[01:16:29] This guy's got a French name. Yeah. No, I mean, he's got there's aliens. You got to be a fucking
[01:16:34] you got to be a genius to know how that works. That's true. That is a good point. I think most
[01:16:38] Trekkies still feel that way. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what, I have to piss a duchio and then
[01:16:46] I got to eat something because yeah, I'm I'm hungry. Same brother. All right. Time over here.
[01:16:51] Folks were weird. All right, folks. Thanks for listening. Catch you next time. Check out.
[01:16:56] Oh, I already ended it. Whatever. But the audio is still going. So if you want to
[01:17:02] shirts, I got my Twitch channel. I got a whole whole new bunch of sorry. Go ahead.
[01:17:07] Yeah. I got a whole new bunch of shirts, the line new lineup coming out and the next week and a half.
[01:17:11] I'm still finishing up designs. I got two of them out and yeah, just shirts are ready to go.
[01:17:17] If you've been waiting to buy something, maybe wait another week or so and see what we've seen
[01:17:21] some advanced copies, folks. These are some good ass shirts. You're gonna buy them bit by them,
[01:17:26] bitches, a couple of hot boys. And if you if you want more content, if you little slutcher
[01:17:30] starving, I'm doing an advice show on Twitch, 6 p.m. Friday. It comes out as a YouTube video.
[01:17:36] And also as a podcast, it's called Stavi solves your problems. Call 903-883-STAVE and leave a
[01:17:44] voicemail and I'll do it live on the motherfucking show every Friday at six on Twitch. And every
[01:17:48] Monday at 7 30, I do an art show with my little brother. So check that shit out, you fucking horse.
[01:17:54] And hopefully this shit is a hoax and we can get back to fucking live performance soon. I'm getting
[01:17:59] I hate not being out there, dude. Yeah, I'm gonna get anything. Okay. All right. Well,