Cum Town | Regular | 05/28/2020
[00:00:00] That's actually gay. It's actually not like it. It's actually one of the gayest things we've ever seen the gayest things on record.
[00:00:08] What many words being gay many experts are referring to the gayest thing they've ever seen.
[00:00:14] Yeah, I was over here and apparently when you go on YouTube, you got a sign in.
[00:00:19] That's fucking gay. They're calling it one of the gayest things of all time.
[00:00:25] It just gets funnier than what many are referring to. Yes. Many are calling.
[00:00:34] Let me sign it. Let me use my official background.
[00:00:37] Wait, hold on. It's just I just posted it. So nobody's watching it yet.
[00:00:41] OK, and then we got to switch to gallery view here.
[00:00:52] Yeah, every doctor told me and they didn't make the sign. Yeah. Well, it doesn't make any sense.
[00:01:03] I had to tell you that just for all the information I can see now here that when you move your hand, it's a background is fake.
[00:01:12] So, yeah, it's a virtual background, whereas you could have just made a sign.
[00:01:17] No, you could have very digital. No, you could very easily made a sign hung it on the wall.
[00:01:22] You didn't do that much, which means the sign is fake.
[00:01:25] That's not how that works, brother. Absolutely. We live in a digital world.
[00:01:28] We live in a social distancing world. This is a digital sign, pal.
[00:01:32] There's no string. There's no string. There's none of this.
[00:01:36] Whatever's going on over here. Yeah, it looks nice. No, I dressed it up.
[00:01:42] That speaks the truth. That extends to the information on it.
[00:01:47] All right. Well, you know what? I actually bought a program that tells you, tells us the most true statement in the world. So why don't I play? Why don't I run that program?
[00:01:56] First of all, I don't, for starters, you know, we'll just, I'm not going to refute all of the information, but I'm certain that every doctor in the world didn't tell you that.
[00:02:07] Every single one, man, I don't know what to tell you. And why would you wish it wasn't true? Because I don't want you to have a small dick. You're my friend.
[00:02:15] But you're my friend and I want you to have a small. Well, that's what we're different kind of guys. I root for my friends.
[00:02:21] I root for my friends too. I want you to try them for a hardship.
[00:02:27] Who the fuck is rooting for a guy with a big dick?
[00:02:32] I want my friends to have every advantage in life. Yeah. That's the kind of guy I am.
[00:02:39] I know you couldn't handle having a small dick. You couldn't live in this world.
[00:02:43] I'm like, I'm quietly praying for all of my black friends to become white and prickly.
[00:02:49] I just want them. Dear God, please fix Marcus's skin. Please his skin. It's too much melanin.
[00:02:58] I want you to make him white. Yeah. Well, the, yeah, speaking of that, cops have been murdering people and also they got that sexy bird or guy.
[00:03:10] It's funny that that's like the only thing from the pre-corona world that's still going off.
[00:03:17] Every other bullshit type of news story that like everyone stopped caring about. It's like, like, because, you know, seven months ago, it was like, stop the presses.
[00:03:26] Leslie Jones tried on a mini skirt. Yeah.
[00:03:29] And then that nobody cares about that anymore. No, not at all.
[00:03:34] That stuff's happening. Like, you know, a trans kid fucking like the Tiananmen square to, yeah, fucking a picture of Donald Trump or something.
[00:03:45] Yeah. But now the only thing that's still going on is the cops are like, let's, let's just keep doing it.
[00:03:53] It ain't no problem. I've been cooped up too long. My murder and fingers itching. Yeah.
[00:04:01] Cops are like, look, the world's got to go back to normal. Why not us? We'll start it off.
[00:04:06] And there'll be a beacon of hope that things will get back to normal as they were before the pandemic.
[00:04:12] Yeah. We'll get to keep murdering people.
[00:04:14] It's funny. They're just doing that because they're bitter that like once again, you know, 9-11 happened and everybody's talking with the first responders and they're talking about firemen.
[00:04:22] Right. And then you know, that's, come on, say us too. Yeah.
[00:04:28] Well, we're putting it on the car anyways. We're putting it on. Yeah.
[00:04:32] We were there sort of. We were driving around. And now this happens. They're like, now it's our turn because we got to be out here.
[00:04:38] And then it's like grocery store guys. Yeah, dude. They got jumped completely.
[00:04:43] Nurses, of course, but then even grocery store guys. Delivery guys. They're more heroes to me than cops. Easy. This is this is like cop land happening to them.
[00:04:53] So that's just alone. They thought was a retard. Yeah.
[00:04:56] The grocery's the retard bagging groceries at the grocery store.
[00:05:06] All I can do is, which it's like, I never made sense to me. It's like, I feel like you could be a cop if you're deaf in one ear, especially considering that like he knows all these cops.
[00:05:17] Yep. They're covering up for their friend who murdered somebody. That's right. And they're like, we're talking about rig the system to let a deaf guy in.
[00:05:30] There's no way we could get away with that. We got to do things by the book. Now, help me grind up this child's toes. Yeah, what does somebody whispers something sensual into his ear and then everybody thinks we got gay cops on the.
[00:05:45] You can't do that. We couldn't have that.
[00:05:48] What does somebody tries to bribe him and he doesn't accept it. He doesn't hear the brothers. He can't hear it because he's a fucking ear top.
[00:05:59] Damn salute. Copa. I enjoyed compliment, but it was one of the, it was a movie I saw just high as shit.
[00:06:04] Yeah. I mean, that was like part of the when I was a teenager. Was that Michael Mangold? Is that who did that? Just Jewish Michael man? Yeah, Michael Mangold.
[00:06:18] I think that's who it is. It was a good, it was a solid one. Who would it? Michael Radport plays the guy who killed someone? Yeah, he was cute in it.
[00:06:31] James Mangold. Yeah. Somebody told me that, yeah, James Mangold did Logan too.
[00:06:37] Oh, hell yeah. Best movie of all time, bro. Fuck the godfather to Logan. That's the best movie.
[00:06:44] Yeah. And then Ford versus Ferrari and Walker. Oh dude. This man has nothing but bangers.
[00:06:50] No, he's a good director. He's made some good movie. Heater is from James. Big James.
[00:06:55] Yeah. Copland girl interrupted. Caitlin Lee uphold identity, which was kind of a piece of shit.
[00:07:01] It's identity. Three tend to you, Marie make, which I liked.
[00:07:04] People say that's good. I should watch it. Yeah. Bill. I fuck with the Russ.
[00:07:10] So is that the other guy, the fucking wormy guy Ben Foster? Oh yeah. Whatever happened to Ben Foster, which he up to these days.
[00:07:20] He must have gotten some kind of strange, but all those guys got posted in to serve. I wonder who he fucked. Yeah, he died of coronavirus.
[00:07:31] This would be a really convenient way to double up on conspiracy theories and it. I guess that is what they said was going to happen, right? That they were going to kill all the pedophiles or something empty the jails.
[00:07:42] Yeah. I mean, that's kind of that's got to be the end of Q and on.
[00:07:47] That's that's the point where you got to be like, okay, this is fake.
[00:07:53] I feel like they're going to marshal on brother. I don't know. What could they possibly, you know, just pay attention to the clues.
[00:08:02] I know we said that there were underground tunnels where they were resting. They're going to rest or the pedophiles and it didn't happen, but that's just one of the clues.
[00:08:12] It's part of the clue. It's part of the clue.
[00:08:15] The clue. The totality of a Q genius. Yeah, shout out to Q and on. They really are all keep. Hey, keep digging, brothers. You're almost there.
[00:08:24] People keep saying this Karen thing is like, they're like, it's basically like using the N word. I love that. Mm hmm, which.
[00:08:33] I mean, can we start using it that way? Yeah, because I just seen Karen fly. If we can say the if it's like the N word, then what the hell?
[00:08:42] Yeah, there was a couple of shit. I knew I forgot something. I got you, bro. Go ahead. No, what I forgot to do is record the podcast.
[00:08:54] All right, we can get it off the feed. What minute is this minute fucking seven.
[00:09:00] I clap hard as shit. We'll get it off the feed. We'll just, uh, we'll just wait until somebody else steals it and.
[00:09:07] Yeah, we'll just take one of the ones and re upload it. Yes, sir.
[00:09:15] Them. Honestly, it's crazy how quickly something is fucking a word becomes fucking horrible and useless. And yeah, care. I hate. I don't want to hear about Karen anymore.
[00:09:26] People people say what is this way? I don't I don't care.
[00:09:31] The only care and I'm interested in is the big titty bitch from Will and Grace about care ends and it's C. A. R. E. hyper hyper hyphen hyphen and then in and then an asterisk.
[00:09:45] Okay, you got a bunch of care ends all over the timeline complaining about something again because they care. Yeah. So caring and words caring is what you would classify the mess someone who cares about anything care ends. Yeah.
[00:10:00] Yeah. Yeah. What is something? I think I think if you say Karen, you should have to post a picture of Megan Malali with her tits out.
[00:10:09] Because I'm thinking about her from Will and Grace and I want to see him. I want to see the fucking girls. The big fat titties. Yeah.
[00:10:19] The bird guy was hot though. I will give him credit. Even though he was a nerd.
[00:10:25] You see him? Which bird guy? Well, so because the cops murdered a guy, they they up the racism times a thousand versus that lady who was going to like call the tribe to essentially get the cops to murder.
[00:10:39] Oh, the guy that made the video. Yeah. Oh yeah. I forgot that he was a bird watcher. He's a bird watcher. It's a fucking nerd. But he was hot. He was ripped.
[00:10:48] Well, that's what I was I was thinking is so funny is like we see the other side of the video and that guy's like seven foot three. Looks like Ronnie Coleman.
[00:10:56] And he's just like like he's like I was doing my knife tricks. He's just got like a like a Kente cloth shirt on that says I white bitches for breakfast.
[00:11:05] He's just taping her. He's like, can you put your dog all the way.
[00:11:10] She's like, I please get away from please. Yeah. This guy's just this scariest looking dude of all time.
[00:11:22] But with such a cute voice. Mm hmm. Right. Well, because the voice makes you you're thinking like, you know, fucking see low green. Yeah.
[00:11:31] That's what I was picturing. Just a guy with like a scarf on and a little like session musician hat. You know, a little like a fucking pork pie hat with on the side. Yes.
[00:11:42] A little fat guy that loves watching fucking hummingbirds. Right. He looks like he's just wearing nothing but samples from Diane's fabrics.
[00:11:49] Just sashing around the park. I'm trying to watch birds. Can you make a dog please tell you dog to stop. He's scaring the birds.
[00:12:04] Oh, fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what are you going to do, man? Shout out to America. That story. That video is great. That's an all-timer. Yeah.
[00:12:15] I'd actually watch the whole thing. There's an African American man threatening my dog and my life.
[00:12:21] Threatening my life. Yeah. What a dumb bitch. It's great because it's like just this fucking like storm of the worst kinds of people in the world all taddling on each other to death. Yeah.
[00:12:32] It's just it's just the natural end to the the tattle tale Mexican stand up. Yeah. Yeah. Because honestly, it's like even if that woman had not made that call.
[00:12:42] Then that guy's a fucking asshole. Yeah. You give a shit about. Yeah. Like who cares whether the dogs on a fucking lease. Well, apparently the reason they have to be on a leashes because they eat birds.
[00:12:54] Or dogs eat birds. So her dog was eating a bird. I don't fuck. I didn't actually read anything into it. But apparently it's the reason those leash things are there because dogs go buck wild and fuck.
[00:13:05] Even if only ask you if you were walking to the park and you saw somebody without their dog on a leash. Would you start making a video and trying to shame them on social 100% no of course not. So that's oh so he just made the video without even asking her beforehand or I have no idea.
[00:13:22] But I mean, even if it's like true, yeah, I would not. Yes. I wouldn't even say if somebody was cutting a line for a Claire's. Yeah.
[00:13:31] You know, some near and dear to my heart the way this man cares about birding. Yeah. If this is if it was if somebody stole one of my tokens for the getting pussy factory. Yeah, which is something I hope exists. Yeah. Maybe I'm taking my phone. I'm saying, excuse me.
[00:13:46] I was in line to get pussy and eat a Claire's before this person. Maybe I would. I mean, because the other way that video goes happens probably all the time, which is like fucking him making that video, putting it online.
[00:13:58] I think he's going to shame her and doesn't take off, but it's still causing all this fucking undue stress to this woman. That's just like just walking her dog and letting the dog off the leash and a fucking empty part.
[00:14:09] Yeah. There's nobody there. Right. Right. Right. Right. I mean, it's like you are being a fucking tattle tale and the dream was exactly you got exactly what you wanted out. Oh, yeah.
[00:14:19] They're a beautiful. It's Jordan. I mean, it ends. It ends with him going, thank you.
[00:14:25] Because it's like, oh, now I get to be famous. Yeah, he just had, I'm sure he was like fucking, it was Christmas morning. The second she said there's an African American man threatening my life. Oh, dude. Absolutely.
[00:14:37] That's that's a tattle tale fucking. You bet it for the cycle there. You get a fucking tattle tale. Gran slam with that one. You hurt me. It's all the same people. It's all the same fucking people. And they created a tattle tale world thinking that there was more than one spot for the teachers pet.
[00:14:54] Right. Doesn't exist. Nope. So you're gonna have to. Yeah. You wanted it. You wanted the gauntlet and you got it. Yeah. It is funny how racist you have to be to make people side with a fucking tattle tale nerd.
[00:15:08] Well, they're all. They're all the. Yeah. They're all the tattle tale. Yeah. Yeah. I know. But her tattling is racist dumb bitch tattling versus. I mean, she's. Yeah, she's fucking stupid.
[00:15:20] I mean, that's not a card you ever pull. Like I said, this I mean, even your mind would go there. She got mildly. In convenience. She was like, I'm gonna get the cops to kill this mother.
[00:15:36] You threaten the person with your fucking dog. That's as far as you want to be a piece of shit. Go like get him boy. Get sick him. You fucking sick the dog on the person.
[00:15:47] And you know, if the cops had killed that guy, she would have been crying and be like, he tried to rape me. You know, imagine what would happen. How much she would have lied if there was no fucking camera.
[00:16:01] Yeah. I mean, she made that call in the cops were in Prospect Park like two minutes later beating up a 14 year old Sri Lanka.
[00:16:12] Like we got him. We found the guy we got him. They just go to they go to a fucking jungle gym, a small community jungle gym. Just beat up a child, a baby.
[00:16:23] They got a super soaker filled with this. Just spraying a baby in the face with urine.
[00:16:31] We're responding. We're first responding. We're doing essential. We got them. Yep. We got them. Check.
[00:16:38] Hold on. We got a little black boys. We got a super so good. So they're gonna shoot it into his mouth. Also mixed gay.
[00:16:47] What was that last part? Well, cops are liars.
[00:16:51] Damn, those are right. Yeah. We met him as straight. Oh, what the hell? So if they lied.
[00:17:00] Yeah. Yeah. Fuck that lady. It is funny. She was like, she worked for an investment bank and they were like, we can't have a racist here at this investment bank at this.
[00:17:12] Yeah. Only we only want the most upstanding people fucking getting people out of their homes.
[00:17:20] I don't think we have a read today, but I finally got the Mac Walden finally came through with the. Nice. The shits. Whatever I was talking about.
[00:17:31] Check. Not the check. The underwear. Yes. Nice. Yeah. They were supposed to give me a code a couple weeks ago when they did the other read. It didn't happen, but I got it now. Hell yeah, dude.
[00:17:42] I got some underwear company and we got a new sponsor. I gave him your address to surprise. Oh, really? Hell yeah. I don't know what it is. It's probably the least useful thing for you.
[00:17:54] What is it? Well, you'll see. We'll do the read. I'm sure you'll find a creative way to use it. Okay. And it's only just recently become the thing that I can use.
[00:18:04] Interesting. Oh, it's all. Okay. It's something to have gay sex with because you just became hot enough to have gay sex. I just became hot enough to have gay sex.
[00:18:16] I get it. That makes sense. Yeah, I won't have any use for that. That's for sure.
[00:18:23] That is interesting though, because I actually bought a program for you. I got something for it's nice to just be like being like just getting my foot in the door into being gay hot.
[00:18:34] How does it feel like it took a decade to become like to cross the boundary from like regular hot to now just being like a gay to. Yeah.
[00:18:45] Hey, come on. You're gay. Six. Yeah. Just just like working in the mail room at gay ink.
[00:18:54] Like yeah, here first thing in the morning ready to work boss. Anything I can do for the company. I'm ready to move up.
[00:19:01] Finally, you don't look disgusting. He spits in your mouth. Just filing letters in some 1930s fucking some big building. There's steam. It's early morning.
[00:19:12] Yep. Just taking scoops scoops of calm and putting it in different fucking pneumatic tubes to go into different different ball gay bosses coffee.
[00:19:22] Now I want to rewatch Hudsucker proxy with my shirt about Tim Robbins and Vince a loop. Interesting. Yeah. That's the whole movie. Yeah. That's my synopsis.
[00:19:35] Yes. Yeah. No thanks. It's one of the shittier common brothers movies. Oh, that's them. Damn. I just watched Barton Fink.
[00:19:45] Love it. Solid ass flick. It's one of my top 10 movies. Love that love Phrases dad in there too. Yeah. Love to see Phrases dad cut loose being a good actor.
[00:19:55] Yeah. Not just being like, oh, my sons are gay. Yeah. Him is that fucking Faulkner character is like amazing. Yeah. He rules.
[00:20:03] When he's just fucking throwing up in the bathroom from alcohol poisoning. Then he comes out a good afternoon.
[00:20:11] Dude, that was the dream. Imagine if that system existed, dude, somehow off the strike of this dumb ass podcast.
[00:20:17] We get to just have a contract with a film studio and they just bury all our work and just pay us to do nothing. Yeah.
[00:20:25] I don't know if Faulkner actually wrote movies and if that's based on like a true story or something, but there was a period where it was either like Fitzgerald or one of those.
[00:20:35] That era of like esteemed writers had a period where they were just writing pictures. But yeah, you just go out to Hollywood and just pump out garbage. Yeah.
[00:20:45] Like literally because they didn't couldn't have algorithms. If they had algorithms, they would just use that. Yeah. But it didn't exist.
[00:20:52] And Faulkner, we need a wrestling picture. Yeah.
[00:20:57] Either needs to get pussy or he's got to have an adopted child. Yeah. Love that, dude. Yeah.
[00:21:03] I wish I could do that shit. And then get pussy from my secretary. There's so many great, great performances that fucking scene with. I don't even know that actor's name, but the producer, the big studio head when Barton first gets.
[00:21:16] That guy rocks, dude. That guy is so fucking good in it. Yeah. He's unbelievable. That's such like a, it's such a Hollywood vibe, which is like, we love you. Everyone's obsessed with your ship.
[00:21:27] Can't wait to see what you do. And then in a second, it's not like exactly what they want. Okay.
[00:21:33] What the fuck is your problem? You're actually my enemy and I will fucking kill you. I will kill your family. Yeah.
[00:21:41] I loved it. I loved it. I loved it. All the internalized anti-Semitism. That was a nice part of it also. Yeah. Them just saying it to each other. The counselor.
[00:21:53] That guy rules. What else? Yeah. Where is it? What else has that motherfucker bid? I don't know. Probably. Probably on wishbone.
[00:21:59] And Tony Shaloube out there. Tony Shaloube. A lot of people are horny for Tony Shaloube. I feel like. What do you mean? I think that's out there in the zeitgeist.
[00:22:08] And is that a Nazi word? zeitgeist? Yeah. I mean, it's German. Mm hmm. But, uh, that's, I don't think it's Nazi.
[00:22:22] I think it just sounds cool. Zeitgeist. Were the Nazis using it? No, it feels like to, uh, to about gay stuff for the not the Nazis weren't about culture and stuff, you know, they're all about, you know, killing gay guys.
[00:22:37] And Jews and gypsies and stuff. Okay. Michael Lerner is an American character actor. Nice. Nominated for an Academy Award for Michael. I'm a learner. How to suck this dick.
[00:22:49] Bar and Fing. You got nominated for that? Um.
[00:22:56] Yeah, he got nominated for a best supporting actor. Respect. He deserved it. Mm hmm.
[00:23:02] Let's see. What else is he in here? Um, he's in a movie called, he's in a movie called busting.
[00:23:12] It's a 1974 film directed by Peter Hyams and his theatrical debut starring Ellie Gould and Robert Blake as Los Angeles police detectives. Oh hell yeah.
[00:23:22] And, oh, it's the inspiration for Starsky and Hutch. Wow. Let's see. At what point do a couple of detectors that could not help but bust in their pants?
[00:23:30] Yeah, I mean, I'm hoping they were famous for coming. Um, is it a comedy? Do they bust? What does this do they bust? Do they look like a boss?
[00:23:41] Uh, Mr. President, uh, do they bust in the movie? In the movie Boston? Yes. Mr. President. Let me be clear. Yes, they bust. And they may.
[00:23:51] Michael Butts, but cheeks, Leano, uh, Channel six news do in the movie, busting. Do the characters bust in their pants? Uh, yes, they do.
[00:24:00] And also Michael, uh, you're gay. Uh, dude, I actually talked to Barack Obama and I asked him what is what's one way that we can solve the pain?
[00:24:09] What are two things we need for this all the pandemic? And you know what he told me, Nick? What? Got to have them ribs and pussy too.
[00:24:17] And honestly, I respect that's actually that's what I think you have to have to somebody should teach Donald Trump. I like to get him to do like a perfect Barack Obama impression.
[00:24:41] And then he's just doing Obama every presser. How funny would that be? He breaks into it. Oh, I don't know about the virus, but I'm gay.
[00:24:51] Hey, everybody, it's me. Who remembers me?
[00:24:56] You know he's sucking dick, folks. You know he's being gay.
[00:25:03] That's good. Is that your Obama face? What is that? Is that De Niro Obama? Hey, I'm a fucking, I'm a parent over here. Hey, I'm fucking meeting the parents. Yeah.
[00:25:19] Yeah, parents. You got a Ben Stiller's gate. You got a, you got to meet the parents.
[00:25:27] You got a when you're in the parents show up. You got to meet them. Good. So simple.
[00:25:40] You can't take away my baby. You got to meet the parents.
[00:25:48] You got to. I've said it before. I'll say it again. I'm a dirty grandpa. I'm getting pussy.
[00:26:07] You got a, um, from that one bitch who's in every comedy for Joe Biden. You know, you got Rockin. You got bullwinkle. And they were friends with each other.
[00:26:26] You can't fuck. You can't be a bad guy. You can't be a bad guy. I'm Rockin bullwinkle.
[00:26:36] He's in it. He's the bad guy. I think so. Yeah, oh nice
[00:26:40] That feels more like Danny DeVito to me, but probably not. He's probably too slight
[00:26:47] The movie of the eye it was him and like Fonka Jensen is the bad guys
[00:26:52] Why don't you funk my dick? The ventures are rocking bullwinkle
[00:27:00] Yeah, live actors Robert De Niro who also co-produced the film. Oh look at Bobby D getting
[00:27:08] Boris bad enough with Jason Alexander and Natasha Fettau Renee Russo
[00:27:14] Okay, Renee. I don't know. Yeah, it was not Fonka Jensen
[00:27:19] Who's not Fonka? Yeah, she was so hot dude. I don't know
[00:27:24] Yeah, you do you know exactly the Fonka Jensen is we find out right now
[00:27:28] It would have been nice to have been married to her for from like 1999 until 2003
[00:27:46] Absolutely not she's she went off the rails with surgeries and stuff. Oh, that's a big shame
[00:27:53] Mm-hmm. That's a shame going off the rails surgery
[00:27:56] Mm-hmm. Sometimes you know just age gracefully. I'll we'd still let you suck us off guys like us good guys
[00:28:05] Mm-hmm. Just a couple fellas. Let an old women suck us off
[00:28:12] Fucking plastic surgery. I'll tell you that you got plastic surgery in ruined it
[00:28:16] Can't catch plastic surgery if if a bitch gets plastic surgery
[00:28:29] You talking to me no, but it's about bomb is always saying stuff. That's like he's just mentioning Robert De Niro
[00:28:39] Are you talking to me you're talking to me
[00:28:42] I don't see anyone here. Oh, yeah, you can't you can't talk to me
[00:28:54] Did you fuck my wife yeah, it's all the suggestions we can tell you Fompa Jensen is Jean Grey Star Trek Sophie Turner James Martin
[00:29:02] Actress Hansel and Gretel height beautiful surgery the faculty
[00:29:10] Yeah, there's some nice fake nudes on her on here. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah
[00:29:21] Yeah, there's some good fake nudes on here
[00:29:24] Yo, famka come over here. I'll sock me off, please. I'm Fompka Jensen. How about fuck my assing?
[00:29:43] I love these. I love the way you'd google any female celebrity and it's like you know no matter what there's always it's like who comes up is
[00:29:55] She's dumb dumb bitch got old Jane Fonda absolutely will be shocked to see how much of an old bitch
[00:30:11] Who she once had a juicy pussy now dried up and no good to anyone I know
[00:30:19] He was she was married to Todd Williams
[00:30:21] Who the hell's that generic ass name? He directed paranormal activity to
[00:30:29] Famka fell off. She should have direct she should have gotten married to somebody better somebody better
[00:30:34] That's why she had to get to her surgeries. She wound up not even the first paranormal activity. Yeah, that one was actually pretty good. Yeah
[00:30:43] Fuck fam could do I'm out on her now. Yeah. Yeah, she's
[00:30:47] Can't be it she let guys do some canceling and we're canceling women absolutely getting old
[00:30:54] Can you imagine that the New York Times headline?
[00:30:57] Controversy surrounds from kajensen looking gross now
[00:31:03] And so we've talked to everyone in her life to demand accountability
[00:31:07] We've quoted quoted powerful men we've put it every day men as saying yeah, I don't know just I can't even get hard anymore
[00:31:15] I can't get hard to her pictures anyway
[00:31:19] When when is she gonna be held accountable for me not being able to get hard when I look at her pictures anymore?
[00:31:25] Yeah, that's what I want to fucking know when we're gonna get our it's our turn. It's our turn to cancel
[00:31:32] It's our turn to cancel for Sandra Bullock. You better keep it tight. You're on my radar the summer of guy canceling
[00:31:43] Found out somebody was a lesbian canceled
[00:31:46] Yeah, I was trying to fuck that girl from twilight
[00:31:48] I was gonna put vampire teeth all on my shit and have her suck me down my dick, but turns out she's a fucking lesbian
[00:31:54] There was something I don't know why I was trying to look something up when I looked up Bob Kajensen and now it's
[00:32:01] I escaped you my brother everything. I've had a lot of things escaped me today. I feel that I
[00:32:06] I've taken I took some at all to clean my room and honestly, I've just I just got very focused and just beat off to
[00:32:13] One person like I just you know when you're scrolling X videos, then you go through a hole
[00:32:18] Like let me find this person's entire body of work. Yeah
[00:32:22] Picture now I don't do much beating off anymore. You don't beat off anymore. I'm too subdued
[00:32:29] You can't use any of your life force to beat off. No now my new thing is I wake up
[00:32:36] Ass early 545 a.m. I start doing yoga. Whoa, what are you doing? I'm doing whatever
[00:32:42] I got some down dog app that everybody recommended. Okay, is he good? I?
[00:32:50] Like inflexible or whatever that I just need to see like what like establish some kind of like baseline
[00:32:55] To progress from because just everything is like
[00:33:01] I want it so like when quarantine ends if I can ever get back in the gym to make sure that I'm like as lean as possible
[00:33:06] And then also as mobile as possible. Love that so
[00:33:10] I'm like in my 30s. It's like I can't really get away with like Jim's been back open now
[00:33:15] I'm gonna go in I can't touch my toes and I'm fat and I'm like expect anything other than to just like get
[00:33:21] Slightly less fat or more and then injure myself
[00:33:24] Right, right, right, right, right so you try to be flexible. You don't have a dancer's physique in your 30s. Yes
[00:33:30] I love that just a little ballet dude. Mm-hmm start wearing tights everywhere
[00:33:35] Tights start putting like a little salami on at the front of it to make your dick look bigger
[00:33:39] Yeah, just wearing just but it's salami that goes all the way up to my chest and pokes out of the top of it
[00:33:45] Taking bites throughout the day the leotard just sucking on the tip of it
[00:33:48] It's wise where I keep my meal. I'm on a diet lunch. I'm on a diet
[00:34:03] Can't eat it I fucking it's a snack. Oh you just suck in the juices
[00:34:08] It's to keep me on my fucking diet because I'm getting lean for when the gyms reopen
[00:34:18] In line at the fucking post office where nothing but ballet puts in a fucking big ass a fucking
[00:34:24] Six-foot salami no, I don't have anything to mail. I'm just hanging out
[00:34:28] It's under your mask. I'm just hanging out
[00:34:50] Nature's healing itself New York's turning back
[00:34:52] A guy sucked deep throwing a pepperoni a guy to bow his ass hanging out at the post office sucking
[00:35:08] Decided I would have sat you have the guitar I get the sacks for a good riff. Yeah my soundboard my soundboard is busty
[00:35:14] Oh, that sucks. I mean it would take two seconds to fix but I have it in the morning. Sorry, man. Don't worry. I got it
[00:35:22] That's cool. Yeah, the thickest gay computer there should I run that again? This is the most work you've done for the podcast in four years
[00:35:32] Do you want me to run the computer again because it might have been wrong? No, it's cool
[00:35:36] You should you should make music would you get like a little vocoder? Is that just all like one app?
[00:35:40] It's one app. Yeah, I was thinking about getting a vocoder to plug into this thing
[00:35:45] I would love a book. I'm gonna get like a whole like a fax twin setup fuck. Yeah, dude
[00:35:51] Technological fucking arms race has begun. Yeah
[00:36:00] That's like an 80s style, you know, it's cool, but this is just standard just
[00:36:08] Can't wait dude. No, hold on dude. I want to run it again because you know
[00:36:12] It said you were gay, but I just want to double check your my friend. I want to make sure mm-hmm. I
[00:36:17] Just checked again. He's even gayer than I calculated the first time
[00:36:24] I'm sorry, dude. I'm how many is it? It says a soundboard. What do you got on there?
[00:36:28] I got a soundboard. That's a full-featured soundboard. I know dude. It's fucking tight. That's very nice
[00:36:43] Got it them riffs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great
[00:36:50] God damn. I was a really good soundboard selections
[00:36:56] Want to do it, but I got it. I'm gonna have like an iPad the plugs into the board. Yeah, it's like a dull separate thing
[00:37:05] Yeah, it is the most work, but you know what I enjoy just
[00:37:09] This is fun to have sounds yeah, cuz it's like that's how we do, you know, we're living in a digitized world now digital world
[00:37:16] You got you for example you get digital signs that are true. It's funny. It's like we're finally living in like the
[00:37:21] The technological dystopian nightmare they predicted in all those 80s science fiction movies. Mm-hmm except
[00:37:31] Except we don't nobody says, you know gay 80s slang. Yeah, that's true and TVs are flat
[00:37:37] That's true, but it is basically this. Yeah. Yeah, you know, they're gonna track us on our phones
[00:37:42] That was the thing too is like they in the 80s
[00:37:44] They could make the the world look like a dystopian technological nightmare only because the technology at the time sucked
[00:37:53] Right, so they would project their own shitty technology in the future big ass fucking cathode
[00:37:58] Yeah, right there like imagine you just have to talk to your families through this shitty box and it's like okay
[00:38:08] I can see the pores on my grandma's face. Yeah, I was 75 inch screen
[00:38:13] I can get closer to my grandma that I couldn't realize because she would die from the disease and also she smells bad
[00:38:19] She smells like she already smells like death them teeth are looking at a fucked up
[00:38:24] Last time I saw my grandpa. He asked me to clean it like fix his vacuum
[00:38:33] There's just like decaying just skin that came off of them old man dead skin. Oh
[00:38:38] Yeah, no, well how much more vacuuming can you possibly have to do eventually good you're gonna suck yourself into this fucking
[00:38:46] That's right brother. Just chill. You're done. You've got maybe three more vacuums left in you and you want to fix this thing
[00:38:55] Get get it all boat and just fucking set sail never come back. That's it. It's crazy
[00:39:00] You get to that age and you're still doing bullshit chores. Oh, I will not barely do chores now
[00:39:05] I'm not doing chores. No, you can count the days you have left probably what 78 and you're like fuck. I gotta go get stamps
[00:39:14] Makes you feel well people also say like it makes you feel
[00:39:17] Vital some people can't retire, but believe me. I'll be able to retire dude
[00:39:22] I'm the king and not doing shit. I love not doing anything. I rock
[00:39:27] I'm gonna be one of the people goes nuts, but I'll probably just have a heart attack when I'm like 55
[00:39:32] True and I live in the woods and no one's around so I just died from like a very mild heart attack
[00:39:39] You probably could if you just shoot an aspirin in time you would have been fine. Yeah, but you have no more aspirin because it's all
[00:39:45] Owl feed I do want a young child around somebody to cry and try to resuscitate me. Yeah, and I'm like, oh, no
[00:39:51] I'm not even dead yet, but I'm so pretending to be dead. Yeah, I die eventually
[00:39:56] But even right even leading up to that in my let me just scare them
[00:40:00] Let me just test it out. Yeah, this child. I stole from an orphanage. Yeah. Oh wait. No
[00:40:16] I'm dead. I'm I'm gonna make a man. I don't refuse. It's me Nicholas Kajabama
[00:40:26] So national pussy and barbecue is a national treasure
[00:40:45] There's only one national treasure it's pussy barbecue
[00:40:49] That's true. Yeah, that's true Nick Nick Cage the founding fathers
[00:40:54] They drew a picture of pussy on the back of the Constitution
[00:41:02] This there was originally written they were really busy they had to jack off to something as the original Constitution was written in barbecue sauce
[00:41:11] Thomas Jefferson actually fucked so many of his slaves. He became black
[00:41:15] You won't find that anywhere like yeah, they're like yeah, most of national treasure three was ad-libbed by Nick
[00:41:24] The budget, you know the studio they knew it would be a smash hit
[00:41:28] So they actually gave us eight trillion dollars to make the film and we basically we let Nick Cage riff it out for
[00:41:38] You fucked up his insulin with a we found that a whole lot of vintage Pez dispensers
[00:41:45] Complete with candy on eBay. Yeah, them went into diabetic shock and had a fever dream and just
[00:41:52] Adlib the entire movie and then we CGI did around them. Mm-hmm
[00:41:56] We spent most of our budget on black face CGI so you could play black Thomas Jefferson. Yeah, but it was worth every penny
[00:42:02] Smash it the only way to get around we have to get around the security cameras is I have to dress up like Thomas Jefferson black
[00:42:12] It's the only way to do it to get around there's lasers
[00:42:17] Only one man's faces programmed not to set them off and that's black Thomas Jefferson. Yeah, who's crazy how there was like laser grids in every movie for
[00:42:26] I know it's like guys like it's so funny that like the entertainment industry is like hyper obsessed with
[00:42:34] You know they had like a whole decade of like maybe we should put grandma's in jail
[00:42:39] Yeah, for you know, they're in a few downloading fucking
[00:42:45] And then at the same time every movie is just stealing fucking like
[00:42:50] Every movie has a grid every movie did the matrix thing
[00:42:53] Yeah, like of still some are still doing it. Yeah, then every comedy parodies it and every parody steals everything
[00:43:01] How many times you've seen say hello to my little friend in some former fashion on a fucking movie. Yeah
[00:43:09] Yeah, things suck fuck that it's so funny. It's like to think back. It's like did I have a good time ever in my life?
[00:43:22] Cuz we were talking about it's like, you know
[00:43:24] Oh did like was it the thing or and then you go back and it wasn't actually that's not true with comedy comedy
[00:43:32] Yeah, it was fun. Yeah, you know, I mean you go back and you watch stand-up specials from like
[00:43:37] 2001 2002 they're just infinitely better. Yeah for sure. I mean there's actual jokes in them
[00:43:45] Yeah, oh and then that's got to use some you should Douglas. Yeah, Douglas is popular. Have you seen the trailer?
[00:43:49] No, I saw someone scream captain. It was like she was going off on Hogwarts
[00:43:54] Yeah, well, she's like she's like if I had nine trauma
[00:43:58] Was such a marketable blah blah blah I would have gotten ripe more than once
[00:44:11] No, it's just she says she got raped twice
[00:44:15] No, she's just like it's run out of she has nothing to complain about
[00:44:18] There's no point to make so she just has to go into her material which I'm assuming predated
[00:44:23] Nanette or it's like cuz Nanette was supposed to be Nanette for her is like this Jerry Maguire moment
[00:44:30] I guess it's for comedy in general, you know
[00:44:33] Like she's we get pussy from her nays Elweger you get pussy from her nays Elweger
[00:44:38] No, I said that and then I kind of forgot with the plot of Jerry Maguire
[00:44:41] But I from my what I recall is that it's about a sports agent who like stays up all night doing cocaine
[00:44:47] It's like you know what fuck this job and he like wrote a book report on you know, I don't remember
[00:44:54] To be I just remember he's getting pussy from a nays Elweger
[00:44:56] He writes this whole fucking like essay in the beginning of the movie
[00:44:59] He stays up all night sweating at the computer and it's like how to fucking fuck
[00:45:06] You know your your job like just like you know like motivating people to be better sports agents
[00:45:12] And then he like comes in the office and he's like read it, you know, and people read it and then
[00:45:20] Like unlike the real world where people would be like you need to be in a mental institution
[00:45:24] Everyone's like wow Jerry did it and then he gets pussy. Oh
[00:45:28] Nice. Yeah, then Cuba Gooding Jr. Helps him get pussy. I've probably only seen the first seven minutes of that movie
[00:45:34] I thought something Jay Moore's involved and he's he backstabs him or something
[00:45:38] No, you're thinking the movie fluke and it's not Jay Moore. No, Jay Moore's
[00:45:44] Jay Moore's in there somehow. Yeah, but that's
[00:45:50] McGuire I'm pretty sure Jay McGuire Jay Moore's and Jerry McGuire. I'm sure you're right, but
[00:45:57] Let's see here. Jerry McGuire is a glossy 35 year old sports agent working for it's crazy to how young Tom Cruise is
[00:46:07] Hate realizing how old I am and how I've done nothing with my youth. Yeah, Tom Cruise is 57 years old. Yeah
[00:46:14] So you like yeah, well, I guess he's a little older than
[00:46:19] Do you know it's just some people how young usher is is insane
[00:46:24] How how young is us? Ushers like our age
[00:46:30] Damn says that the usher having herpes. Yeah, no you would be surprised at how young usher is he is
[00:46:41] John legend is 41 also Chris Brown is our age is 31. Yeah, but that makes sense
[00:46:47] It's like but ushers around since we were like very young, you know, yeah, 10 years older
[00:46:52] Yeah, actually that checks out the one that's weird is Pharrell is like old old, but he looks young and he's been around forever
[00:46:59] Feral's 63 years old for else. Yeah, 75 years old
[00:47:05] We started remember the Doug Benson was like 68 years old
[00:47:09] Like 10 years ago people like you know, Doug Benson's like 65 years old Doug Benson's oldest fuck he is old
[00:47:18] I do actually remember hearing the Doug Benson was older than he said yeah way back in the day
[00:47:23] Yeah, maybe it was just you being drunk and telling me that yeah, probably maybe when I said there was a rumor going around
[00:47:29] I meant I was saying that to be I literally think I heard it from you
[00:47:38] Shouts at the Doug Benson just getting stoned. Yeah, I don't believe that I believe he's older. I think he's older than 55
[00:47:52] All right, so dude, all right, so he's back to the show back to the show
[00:48:01] Nick I am gay Darth Vader, okay Darth Vader
[00:48:07] So after experience of life altering epiphany about his role as a sports agent
[00:48:11] He writes a mission statement about perceived dishonesty in sports management business and his desire to work with fewer
[00:48:18] Clients and produce a better relationship with them see the fuck this movie. That's gay
[00:48:23] It's fucking gay nobody cares and it's like a Hollywood cares. That's why this got made is because agents were like oh
[00:48:38] Age agents are fascinating yeah, wow people want to know about
[00:48:43] Absolute parasites that just use their social position that was like gifted to them
[00:48:49] By way of their father drunkenly raping another woman at fucking Emma Emerson and then
[00:48:57] You know being the least successful member of an incredibly rich family
[00:49:02] Yeah, you can be an agent getting to be an agent and fucking then you drinking with other people at parties and spending your parents money or whatever
[00:49:10] Yeah, you know leveraging that position to take money away from artists
[00:49:24] He was ripped in that movie though he was yeah
[00:49:28] Video that's going around him saying like somebody gonna fuck that baby or something and it's like clearly not is that him?
[00:49:34] It doesn't look like him at all. I don't know. I just laughed when I saw it
[00:49:38] I saw it, but people were like I mean that could literally be any black person in the world
[00:49:45] It doesn't look like him. I think he like went kind of crazy didn't he yeah a lot of people go crazy
[00:49:55] Who's keep a good senior that's what I want to know
[00:49:58] Yeah, he offers a he writes a nation singer. Yeah the the main ingredient
[00:50:04] He's hot he's a hot guy. You know cubic getting senior is 37 years old
[00:50:15] Cuba who didn't junior died on 420 or cubic good senior died on 420
[00:50:20] 2017 yeah, rip a binger for him dude leaving the office Jerry announces
[00:50:24] It'll start his own agency and ask if anyone will join him which only 26 year old single-mother Dorothy Boyd
[00:50:30] Agree, so then she fuck and then he fucks her
[00:50:36] Yeah, he fucks start to whole business to get pussy
[00:50:43] You know something about I don't know yeah, I know I've seen this movie
[00:50:48] But it's like it's so I don't care about anything that happened in it
[00:50:52] They don't remember is that dumbass kid when I saw Wiggers face and then him like writing that fucking thing on the computer
[00:50:59] Because I remember like when I saw it like the idea of like a laptop was so cool to me all I remember is show me the money
[00:51:11] Yeah, it sounds like a dumbass movie to me
[00:51:13] Yeah, you've got Tom Cruise make that motherfucker jump out of a plane and fight fucking Henry Cavill
[00:51:19] Yeah, or cabis or whatever the fuck his name is that sexy guy. We're about our list was that a good show
[00:51:25] I got HBO Max now, so I guess we'll find out oh
[00:51:28] Hell yeah, dude. How much is HBO Max? I think it's $15 a month
[00:51:33] But guess what they have dude something we've been wanting for a very long time hit me with it every single episode of mad TV
[00:51:43] About goddamn time it's a lot of people who listen to this show watch this show
[00:51:47] They don't know but that is not there's been no way to have that
[00:51:51] And not only get it not on YouTube good luck finding a good torrent of it
[00:51:55] But it was never the entire series and its entirety was never released on DVD
[00:52:00] HBO just got themselves $15 a month from Stavros house. I'll tell you that much yeah shout factory for a while
[00:52:08] Maybe shout factory had the whole run but like you know, I mean you couldn't find those damn hell. Yes, dude. Hell. Yes. Yeah
[00:52:16] Fuck yes, dude. I'm trying to see mrs. Swan. I'm trying to see the depressed Persian tow truck guy
[00:52:21] I'm trying to see fucking the two couple different rapist characters that one fat Jewish rapist that Michael McDonald play
[00:52:28] I'm ready to smoke. We we don't zah. Oh
[00:52:32] Dude and watch fucking man TV. Oh my god. It better rock if it doesn't rock. I'm gonna be fun
[00:52:39] I'm gonna fucking kill the police office
[00:52:43] Dude, this is the first we should zoom watch mad TV. We sure do we should twitch stream
[00:52:48] We should just read mad TV and do commentary on it explain why it's funny
[00:52:55] Just getting I'd be like yeah, dude pausing this show to
[00:53:00] Explain jokes explain mad TV comedy to people
[00:53:04] Well, you have to understand the nuances of the Stuart character
[00:53:08] It's a lot of people think you supposed to be retarded, but that would be too obvious
[00:53:12] That's why he's a quote-unquote 10 year old boy a joke most likely stolen from the movie Clifford
[00:53:21] Now you would say to yourself, okay, well, they're making fun of retards you're doing it away
[00:53:25] We're not even being explicit about it and the character itself is stolen. Why is this funny and it's because
[00:53:34] Have funny this stupid character is and also my favorite part is at the end of Clifford or what Clifford right
[00:53:41] Yeah, yeah at the end of that towards the end he just started getting very sexually explicit
[00:53:47] like there was a joke where he was like he told someone not to
[00:53:54] Remember there's one joke where's like next time I hear from you the only time I want to hear your lip is when I jiggle my zipper
[00:54:01] Like what the fuck I remember watching that being like
[00:54:04] Damn your sexual awakening was imagining sucking stewards penis. Oh, yes, do it. Yeah, isn't it your old boy
[00:54:13] No, I wasn't imagining that you're thinking about a grown man playing a retarded character forcibly sought like fucking your mouth
[00:54:24] I'm hard. You're my year old they can hold it used you love mad TV, but now it's molesting you and you're like what?
[00:54:31] I'm sucking his penis. It looks like my dad's dick
[00:54:35] He's got the dick the size of my dad's and I'm sucking it, but it's it's the retarded character
[00:54:40] Now he's going what's happening now. He's going pee pee in my mouth and I
[00:54:45] Time to go time to go eat an entire loaf of bread
[00:54:48] No, I wanted to fuck the black lady with the big titties and dad fucking sketch where she runs down
[00:54:55] And we get a look at the paradonzo dude if it's uncensored. I'm gonna I'm about to get I'm about to beat off about the
[00:55:17] I can't wait to beat all this catch comedy
[00:55:19] Mm-hmm. What the fuck was her name the biggest titties Deborah Wilson. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah
[00:55:27] I'll tell you what if I was Tom Hanks. That's the cop. That's a couple of wilson's. I'd like to have with me on the island
[00:55:34] Yeah, they would call her if I was if that was me and I was on the island
[00:55:38] They called me Tom thanks because I'd be saying thank you for letting me titty fucker
[00:55:41] Oh, yeah, and I would have been where if the the plane I would have been working for would have been a federal
[00:55:50] A fed sex plane. I'll tell you that much
[00:55:54] Yeah, I have his sex on it. Yeah, and then
[00:56:00] Where is he lives in Jacksonville in the movie? Yeah, let's say he does
[00:56:04] He got no it was somewhere because that movie came out and like the timeline was he missed like the NFL expansion
[00:56:10] So he's like in some town that got a team. Oh, so it must have been Jacksonville. Yeah, I think so
[00:56:16] Jacksonville or Carolina. Yeah, the Panthers maybe I can't remember but he
[00:56:24] He's like, oh, we got a football team now. No, but I told me
[00:56:31] He came back whatever he came back the movie ends and he's with his family and he's like I got an island accent
[00:56:37] I spent four years on island all the time on the island
[00:56:41] Don't use the island that give you the accent man. It's not the people
[00:56:46] It's all the time in the sun in the sun. I've been having sex with Christmas presents for the past four years man
[00:56:54] They wash up they wash up on the shore and I'd be having sex with the Christmas presents
[00:56:59] Damn, I've never seen that movies that happens. Yeah, that's Wilson's a Christmas present
[00:57:08] Mm-hmm. How unlucky dude because you know if that was a present-day movie
[00:57:12] There would be a lot of pocket pussies being mailed at least as gag gifts. Yeah
[00:57:19] Oh, yeah, damn I need a weed sound effect. Yeah, now I just started looking at porn. It's crazy that
[00:57:36] Yeah, let me look up Deborah's titties again Deborah
[00:57:39] I'm like I might just fucking put my name in the hat at a temp agency
[00:57:42] I guess the economy's foxes. There's no jobs, but just get jobs at like
[00:57:46] offices and then immediately just start looking important argue
[00:57:51] It would be an awesome game for us to get temp jobs. Yeah, so you can get fired faster
[00:57:56] We should do that dude. We should start we should transition more into like a jackass vibe for the show and
[00:58:03] Now that you got a soundboard we got up to technology. We got to start calling people and shit. That's right. We do. Yeah
[00:58:11] It's you show me your pussy. I love that dude saw
[00:58:33] We'll figure out about you in man. I'm gonna be the saw guy. I'm sorry
[00:58:38] I'll tell you what it is. We got to both get dueling the the software is called voice mod
[00:58:45] I'm looking at her tits right now. Let me see if I can
[00:58:48] You want to put your game. How do you do it? You want to play your game?
[00:58:59] Right tone tone you got it man. You want to play a game in the meantime. Why don't we hear from your penis? You were reporting?
[00:59:14] Do you want to play your game game game game game game?
[01:00:16] I can't believe you're playing that long to drop the fucking song.
[01:00:21] The comedian in me is like, come on, put more effort into it.
[01:00:26] It's gotta be more than just usual ear pussy and anything.
[01:00:34] But the not convenient in me, the guy that quit stand up to just do this fucking bullshit podcast is like, yes.
[01:00:41] I just found out about this about a minute before the show.
[01:00:46] And I was like, yeah, he's gonna keep asking us here, pussy.
[01:00:56] She's fucking being slowly fed into a furnace underneath an abandoned elementary school.
[01:01:01] And he's still like, come on, let me see the pussy.
[01:01:04] Come on, just put a little piece of it, please.
[01:01:36] I'm teaching my daughter how to fucking do the job because I believe women.
[01:01:41] You're not even gonna give me a peek of both single pussy cheek.
[01:01:53] We're gonna have dueling, but see, I'm on Mac, so I don't know if that even exists.
[01:02:00] And then all the features are like, you can sound like you're from France.
[01:02:05] You can be from, you can be found in a French, my Macintosh from France.
[01:02:11] Oh, but you, my old friend, how would you like to have this?
[01:02:24] This is not, you're just doing a French accent yourself.
[01:02:29] You hear the like, the romante, the small phones, the background vocals?
[01:02:35] Yeah, I thought it was more French than the music, but it's called the romantic Paris.
[01:02:40] I was really hoping for an accordion or something.
[01:02:44] That's why you got to check your voices beforehand, folks.
[01:03:31] That's the thing that diet ended, but I'm like, it's still quarantined.
[01:03:35] So it's like, you know, I guess, well, I'm still cooking for myself and it's going to be.
[01:03:41] You know, I'm making baked chicken week.
[01:03:45] I thought I'd get tired of eating like eggs with egg whites in the morning, but it's like, no, I kind of, I just had regular eggs and I kind of developed a taste for the regular.
[01:04:02] So I just lighten them up with some extra egg whites in there.
[01:04:05] Maybe like maybe like a three to one ratio.
[01:04:08] And then I'm kind of like turkey bacon now.
[01:04:13] Three eggs splash of egg whites, four slices of turkey bacon and a piece of toast with some peanut butter and cinnamon.
[01:04:25] I'm about to have some cinnamon right now.
[01:04:35] If you bake acorn squash, put a little coconut milk in there.
[01:04:44] I was thinking actually about making rice pudding.
[01:04:48] The quarantine started and I bought, I was like, well, I guess you're going to get rice now.
[01:04:53] And I got one of those like bags at Costco that are for like people that haven't learned English yet.
[01:05:05] Like I thought, oh, I'll probably go through this in a month.
[01:05:12] That's meant to feed like a Korean family of 12.
[01:05:17] Well, it's time to have some Korean kids.
[01:05:25] I mean, I would knock up an Asian for sure.
[01:05:37] You've seen those, those, the half Asian subreddit.
[01:05:40] You know how fucking angry those guys are.
[01:05:46] That's a weighted coin flip because if you get daughter, great.
[01:05:51] A woman can deal with being half white half Asian.
[01:05:55] It's all of the problems of being Asian without the chill factor.
[01:06:00] There is unchill as a white guy, but then you're fucking Asian on top of it.
[01:06:07] Imagine being a white dude that also had to be Asian.
[01:06:16] You're like, Oh, well, that's the white guy.
[01:06:27] The worst, the worst case scenario is very bad though.
[01:06:30] I think I could like, when me and my brothers go get a barbecue for Thanksgiving, they
[01:06:43] And then, no, I mean, really, I really, I think that's what it is.
[01:06:50] Dragon Ball Z went off the air and Street Fighter ended.
[01:06:53] And then that was sort of what created the blasian invasion.
[01:06:59] The blasian, blasian, blin, blin, how do we get it back, dude?
[01:07:04] Yeah, you know, you got to get black people back into Asian culture.
[01:07:14] So it's no longer you're hanging out with a bunch of Asian guys to watch anime.
[01:07:18] I think it's black guys all watch anime together.
[01:07:20] I think the reason is, is that it's like a, it's a type of race mixing that doesn't
[01:07:27] And so the powers that be stopped pushing it on people.
[01:07:34] That's how all race mixing all race mixing happens that way.
[01:07:37] The powers would be pushing the powers.
[01:07:41] We call that like an alt right jazz podcast.
[01:07:50] Just talk about jazz and then fucking like eugenics and what is it?
[01:08:02] Well, black people are incapable of creativity.
[01:08:12] You know, their minds aren't capable and then just, but then they're both like jazz
[01:08:25] That would be a great type of racist guy.
[01:08:38] It's like he likes, was that was the one color me bad?
[01:08:42] Hootie, no, there's the one bad brains, maybe bad brains.
[01:08:55] I'm racist and the only musician I like is Darius Rocker.
[01:09:05] I have no idea what he looks like, but I tell you that man sit the way he sings frees
[01:09:11] So eat me the ass boy and fuck my whole I want to get in my ass.
[01:09:33] If anyone asks, I'm just looking at Deborah Wilson's tits right now.
[01:09:40] Someone, someone Photoshop Deborah Messing on to a lady with big tits.
[01:09:44] That's the fakest thing I've ever seen in my life.
[01:09:51] Some really bad Deborah Messing fakes here.
[01:09:57] You said my big joke when I was like 10 years old is that was that the reason Jack and the
[01:10:05] fucking Willard gay is because Deborah Messing's tits suck.
[01:10:23] I was out there the life of the fat life of a party.
[01:10:28] Yeah, it's funny because it's I think back and it's like, oh, we so miserable and it's
[01:10:31] like, well, no, I just now know how miserable I was.
[01:10:35] But in the confines of being just a fat retard that only make jokes, it's like, oh, yeah.
[01:10:45] Yeah, because you have to distract yourself.
[01:10:47] You can't look at a mirror and it'll kill you to do so.
[01:10:52] So you're like, well, I guess I better make jokes.
[01:10:56] And now, and now we know about the Matrix, dude.
[01:11:00] Now we're Joey Pantaleano trying hard to get back in there, but we're doomed.
[01:11:05] Well, I wanted some steak, just him having that romantic dinner with Agent Smith.
[01:11:10] Yeah, I'll do it, but I want to suck your cock.
[01:11:17] Just Agent Smith all stowed, getting fucked in the ass by Joey Pantaleano.
[01:11:22] And he's like, and after this, you give me the codes to Zion.
[01:11:26] And he's like, no, I told you, I don't have him.
[01:11:43] Just wearing a suit top still, but his ass is getting fucked.
[01:12:00] Bye, Nate shirts come downtown this Friday.
[01:12:05] I am doing a Stabby Subs your problems on Twitch with guest Tim Dylan.
[01:12:15] So check that out if you want to watch some visual comedy other than that, you know, by
[01:12:23] Hopefully we'll be able to tour sometime next year who fucking knows.
[01:12:31] Me and back in the cutting my own hair.
[01:12:34] Do anything with the beard or just the hair.
[01:12:37] I'm going to see if I can do a good bald fade on myself.
[01:12:45] I'll keep I'm going to keep learning because it's like I'll probably go bald eventually.
[01:12:50] So see, listen, man, you can't be saying stuff like that.
[01:13:02] You can already see my shit's fucking it's my shit.
[01:13:11] I'm shut the fuck up every year that sneaks back a little bit.
[01:13:16] This side is this side is mostly fun though.
[01:13:29] I cannot wait to have a fucking, honestly, the only thing that's getting me through this
[01:13:33] is thinking about being on a beach with a fucking ponytail.
[01:13:42] Look, we should both get tested and that way we can fucking hang again.
[01:13:51] That way this can finally be the job that it should be.
[01:14:02] Have a fucking nice, nice little vacation.
[01:14:04] All I want, silk shirt, fucking earring, blowing in the wind.
[01:14:08] I want to be eating a woman's pussy who's on a hammock and she's tugging my hair with
[01:14:16] I've been thinking about smoking cigars again because it's nice on the porch to do something
[01:14:19] It's nice on my, it's nice on the porch.
[01:14:23] You know, we go out there or our weekend Puerto Rico.
[01:14:25] I take the day to go visit the rainforest and go on a nice little walk.
[01:14:31] You can go horing and then at night, at night we get drunk off absence and go bed on the
[01:14:40] Dude, post Corona is this is this is now this is when dudes become male men dudes.