Cum Town | Regular | 06/04/2020
[00:00:10] So what fucking do you know what fucking...
[00:00:48] Okay, well, and now I don't know why you're fucking
[00:00:59] Can you hear me? Well folks, this is the podcast today.
[00:01:04] We should have just postponed it for an hour.
[00:01:10] That might still be the answer because Stav is having trouble.
[00:01:27] But this is the worst yet is now that Stav has become too fat for the camera.
[00:01:34] This is why we can see now his virtual background,
[00:01:38] but none of his body completely fills the frame.
[00:01:57] Stav, if you can hear me, if you're out there,
[00:02:01] you're going to do stop video, stop audio, and then restart it
[00:02:10] It's really cool that we have to use this software
[00:02:17] and it continues to fuck up and it's no good.
[00:02:25] and it's completely fucking unreliable,
[00:02:27] especially for how much this shit costs.
[00:02:29] And today, I don't know, if you guys saw the zoom announcement
[00:02:33] they are making it so that you can't encrypt the free zoom meetings
[00:02:40] because they want to work with law enforcement.
[00:02:42] Never mind the fact that this is not the time for as cynical as it is
[00:02:46] to fucking for any company to come out right now
[00:02:49] and say that they don't like cops or whatever as if that's not a cash grab.
[00:02:54] To announce that you want to make efforts to work with law enforcement
[00:02:59] by making it impossible to encrypt the free zoom meetings
[00:03:04] because they don't want anybody using zoom for nefarious purposes.
[00:03:08] Unless they pay money, if you pay for it, then you can encrypt it.
[00:03:13] So they don't, they want to make sure that they're on the up and up
[00:03:16] with law enforcement and criminals unless you pay that,
[00:03:19] which is literally you're just bribing zoom.
[00:03:21] They're just announcing that they're okay with criminal behavior on zoom
[00:03:29] And I don't know if we're probably, unless this is just going to,
[00:03:37] this we're slowly losing members of downtown and eventually it's just going to be me.
[00:03:44] It'll be like, it'll be like the Bill Burr show.
[00:03:48] I'm like, oh, did you see the fucking writers in this people stealing prescription glasses?
[00:04:05] Let's say I'm doing, in my support for Blackout Tuesday is all of my impressions will be bad.
[00:04:11] They're not, they're going to be subpar and that's the way, like Apple music,
[00:04:17] removing the browse function from Apple music and supportive Black lives.
[00:04:22] My support of Black Lives Matter will be that my impressions will be slightly off today.
[00:04:27] And if hopefully that frustrates the consumers.
[00:04:42] But you still can't see me for some reason.
[00:04:50] It is gay because your hair is finally.
[00:04:55] That's why I got all the X-Men stuff because I'm looking like Wolverine.
[00:05:05] It's not, you know, break their hearts, break their hearts and have them pretend to have the ponytail.
[00:05:09] But that's one of, that's one of Black Lives Matter's demands is that you have a ponytail.
[00:05:21] Covering that extensively on Fox and friends.
[00:05:25] I don't actually like watch Fox News, but I guess they're already starting with like, they don't have any demands.
[00:05:35] Oh, wait, I think I might know why the fuck.
[00:05:59] We need more in the words of Mark Wahlberg in these times.
[00:06:07] We're getting more peace, more getting pussy.
[00:06:20] I mean, this has always been a podcast.
[00:06:36] I'll just make my background a cool picture of my hair.
[00:06:38] I'll make the background the picture I sent you.
[00:06:42] So then everyone can see what I look like.
[00:06:44] You should get a picture of like, you should get like, um, you
[00:06:47] would be cool if the camera never works again.
[00:06:50] Get like, uh, sort of like, um, like an old, like, either, like
[00:06:54] Metal Gear Solid or like, you know, like fucking eight bit.
[00:06:59] You know, like with your hood just like babbling, you know.
[00:07:06] Like that would make that sound effect.
[00:07:27] This was like a regular bottle of soda.
[00:07:39] That would be awesome if you got ripped and then got
[00:07:43] This is a regular bottle of soda and I'm, I'm a mouse sized.
[00:07:51] I was thinking, what if you started drinking, you just got ripped
[00:07:55] and you're just going to get fat as shit.
[00:08:02] If I was an X man, my power would be able to change my, I would change
[00:08:11] You know, my clothes change too, but I can just scale up or down.
[00:08:18] So, but so you could, you could become, so if you're having sex,
[00:08:22] you could become like eight or nine feet tall.
[00:08:45] I mean, more often than not, I would go tiny.
[00:08:55] Yeah. Most of the day you could spend just like the size of a,
[00:09:03] The smaller you are, the longer you live.
[00:09:05] Dude, I would get a little like tech deck and just fucking go all.
[00:09:12] Oh, you could make an awesome skate park where you're normal sized and then
[00:09:17] You make the gnarliest skate park of all time that it's little in your
[00:09:24] And then, but you also think too is like, you know, cause you're,
[00:09:27] I guess your bone density stays the same because it's a material, you know,
[00:09:35] The chemical makeup of all the materials that go into you, like that
[00:09:41] Well, I think so when you get smaller, it's like you'll be much stronger
[00:09:52] Imagine it's like, so if you like, like take a piece of paper with your
[00:09:57] Like a strip of paper and you hold it out flat and you can probably make it
[00:10:00] stay straight if it's like an inch of paper, right?
[00:10:04] Now, if you had the same, like the same dimensions of paper, but twice
[00:10:12] And that's because like the rigidity of the material, the density of the material
[00:10:18] You know, it's like this same kind of material.
[00:10:20] The same thing with like steel, like a steel I beam this big is going to be able
[00:10:25] to comparatively, you know, take more stress.
[00:10:36] I'll be able to like, like Ollie off of like, do like a 15 stair.
[00:10:41] And if I completely wreck my shit, you know, on the tech deck, all it
[00:10:47] Doesn't even matter because you're super invincible.
[00:10:51] So it's like, it's there's less impact.
[00:10:56] Yeah, because the mass is so scaled down that you're, you know, my point is, is
[00:11:03] that if I made myself like fucking, if I went too big, then my organs would just
[00:11:10] And that's why you couldn't show you could never have a big penis.
[00:11:14] That's how I kill myself is I go up to.
[00:11:17] I'm like, boys, and my skin rips off my frame and my bone.
[00:11:22] You just get a bile and shit all over the place.
[00:11:24] I just basically melt when I get too big, you know, so I go like King, they're like,
[00:11:31] And I'd forget that because I've been spending so much time in the tech deck skate park
[00:11:41] You're feeling so good because because I've been just killing it.
[00:11:44] I've been brushing, doing fucking 720, all the Tony Hawk shit.
[00:11:48] And then you're like, yeah, fuck King Kong.
[00:11:59] That'd be my other X-Men power is the guy who's seen every movie.
[00:12:06] Every single movie that's ever come out.
[00:12:08] He's seen and he can talk about all of them.
[00:12:15] I'm getting my background together here.
[00:12:17] Are you still trying to figure out what?
[00:12:22] I'm just trying to get a picture of me with my hair.
[00:12:33] Well, I haven't figured out the most important thing with just seeing my face, but I'm going
[00:12:38] to have a really good background real soon here where everyone can see my beautiful hair
[00:12:42] because I do look like, and you'll admit this, I look basically like huge Ackman.
[00:12:55] People like, is that the actor huge fat guy?
[00:13:13] You look like a Greenwich Village artist.
[00:13:25] So anyway, that's what I look like, folks, right now.
[00:13:31] You can't see me live, but it doesn't matter.
[00:13:33] You get a picture, but I look just like you, Jackman.
[00:13:42] So I love that Soho is getting destroyed.
[00:14:22] I would love to be getting stuff, dude.
[00:14:24] I want to get this over with so I can get high and watch Akira for the first time.
[00:14:33] My roommates were watching it and I never did because I got too high and I fell asleep.
[00:14:39] So yeah, well, I'm going to discuss Akira on the next episode.
[00:14:42] I'm going to get too high and stay awake and just watch it and be freaked out and go,
[00:14:51] Just watch Akira shut up and watch Akira, bitch.
[00:14:55] You've been getting stoned once or twice.
[00:14:57] I got somebody just gave me a pre rolling the street and all I hit it and put it out.
[00:15:02] He's taken like a month to smoke a single joint.
[00:15:08] I did the same thing except I smoked the whole damn thing yesterday and I went right to bed
[00:15:17] Like seven episodes of the Sopranos have auto played.
[00:15:27] I watched the first I watched the first episode, the pilot episode of mad TV.
[00:15:32] It's so funny how like all sketch shows kind of get off on the same like awkward footing.
[00:15:37] They don't know how to use the cast and it's like there's a couple in there that are like
[00:15:45] The first sketch they do, well first they just do one that's like the Budweiser thing
[00:15:56] The Budweiser one was funny because it was like this is just a Budweiser commercial.
[00:16:04] And a lot of our listeners are you know the young bucks.
[00:16:09] They don't remember the Budweiser frogs.
[00:16:14] No, but why is there that kind of shit?
[00:16:22] That's fuck Don Draper and his gay ass like it's posted.
[00:16:27] The 90s guys that came out of the eighties.
[00:16:31] Just have like brain damage from cocaine and they're like fucking what if a guy what if
[00:16:36] we did a Doritos commercial where a guy parachutes into the Super Bowl but then we actually
[00:16:41] have him fucking parachute into the Super Bowl.
[00:16:43] That is a good idea with Doritos and then and people are like okay I mean sure fine and
[00:16:54] Next was this why don't we get Chester the cheetah to get pussy on on TV.
[00:17:05] We should do a full we do a full uninterrupted uncut surgery where we're giving Chester the
[00:17:15] Yeah, we do a commercial right before the state of the union where Chester the cheetah
[00:17:21] He's he's spreading his pussy lips but then what we actually do is we hire someone to make
[00:17:32] And then people watch it and they're like just like in the commercial.
[00:17:35] We would have to find some kind of I don't know a homeless man.
[00:17:41] We would shave him and dye his body orange and cut his cock off on camera.
[00:17:48] Chester Bido Chester Bido Fofa Chester Bido Fofa.
[00:17:53] Maybe Dofa like Jimmy Hoffa Jimmy Hoffa.
[00:18:23] Why don't you tell me what you're wearing.
[00:18:29] This is Jimmy Bido Fofa Jimmy Bido Fofa.
[00:19:30] That means it smells like fucking shit.
[00:19:53] That's the one we've talked about a hundred times.
[00:20:02] The guy that gets kicked out of the army for smelling women is close.
[00:20:08] And they're like either rape or don't do anything.
[00:20:20] Yeah, I should have gone coffee instead of diet soda.
[00:20:24] What are you going to chuck the whole thing?
[00:20:26] I didn't have time to run to the grocery store and get more cake cups.
[00:20:33] My dumb ass roommate, my old, the guy was subletting.
[00:20:43] I believe they're an espresso, the full size and espresso cake cups.
[00:20:45] That does not fit in the, the, the espresso is different than curry.
[00:20:49] No, but they're, I have, I usually get the espresso little ones and I guess the espresso
[00:20:54] makes big ones and his dumb ass bought big thinking they were the small ones.
[00:21:01] I'll take a look and I'll send you some pics.
[00:21:02] But I don't want to come up to Queens and fucking.
[00:21:07] The way the world, the way the world is out there.
[00:21:14] It's so funny how Queens is just, there's just nothing happening.
[00:21:17] Yeah, there's, there was like one, there was a protest yesterday, but it was like peaceful
[00:21:25] Like it was literally just people walked up and down Steinway.
[00:21:29] And you know, sat in for a sec, but there's nothing crazy.
[00:21:34] The bong shop boarded up and nothing else did.
[00:21:37] There is, because I, I went into Manhattan and drove through Manhattan to just see what
[00:21:49] It's like not even, you know, yeah, there's boards up on stuff and some stuff is broken
[00:21:57] They, they, they like what got broken into like fifth avenue and all those stores and
[00:22:03] Yeah, a lot of shit and so, I mean, going around so, who was like fucking everything was boarded
[00:22:08] What the fuck does so who even have little fucking bitch ass boutiques?
[00:22:11] Yeah, just fucking gay, like, you know, it's like, like stables, like fucking expensive
[00:22:17] It's just a bunch of gay guys in blackface.
[00:22:23] I could not stop laughing about like a fucking like a place putting a sign out front or just
[00:22:28] I mean, somebody would see you and it would be an issue.
[00:22:32] But yeah, but just put a sign out front of like the bank that says a Jewish owned minority
[00:22:39] owned business do not loot Jewish owned.
[00:22:47] Every bank, don't, it's not white people don't own this.
[00:22:58] Yeah, because there's stores that are putting like signs out front that just say black owned
[00:23:06] There's no, what are the people going to do?
[00:23:11] It's like, it's like a Vincenzo salumeria black owned don't don't do it.
[00:23:17] One of them was like Finn McCool's Irish bar black owned business.
[00:23:34] They treat us, you know, the English treat us.
[00:23:42] That video that guy in Philly that's like screaming or whatever.
[00:23:48] There's just some like dumpy old guy and he's like yelling and for a second, like he has
[00:23:52] the attention of the people at the protests, you know, yeah.
[00:23:55] And he's like fucking, oh man, this is like this video of this guy makes everything that's
[00:24:05] I mean, and by that, I mean the American Revolution.
[00:24:18] Everything's been worth it because of this moment in this guy.
[00:24:21] I got a you know what you talk for a second.
[00:24:24] Let me see if I could just find the video because it's so fun.
[00:24:31] Also, you know, Philly did a bunch of hilarious stuff.
[00:24:33] There was a they had that like roving band of white trash that was like walking around
[00:24:42] And I know the idea that all these people are like, there's no way they were pro police
[00:24:47] until there was like, we can fuck up some black people.
[00:24:53] I mean, yeah, it's Philadelphia, but you know, I'm Philly.
[00:25:03] So just so I don't know if you can see the video, but it's I mean, you can't, but this
[00:25:09] He's like on market street or something.
[00:25:17] Every Muslim, every person in Philadelphia.
[00:25:24] And believe in something greater than yourself.
[00:26:13] I had no idea there was a lead up where everyone is listening to him.
[00:26:18] I thought it was just an insane person screaming and shit, which it is.
[00:26:24] The fact that he had everyone everyone's attention.
[00:26:33] And then he it's with the big reverse, you know, card.
[00:26:39] It's it could not be any fucking funnier, man.
[00:26:41] This thing is producing some you know what this this thing is kind of finally fixing comedy
[00:26:51] Trump was the only thing that was funny for like four years.
[00:26:54] All of his finding ways to be funny again.
[00:26:58] Like that's I mean, that is what I mean about the fucking those Philly people.
[00:27:01] They're like, yeah, yeah, we love cops now that they enforce a child's back.
[00:27:10] That's they made a point of announcing prior to all of this.
[00:27:13] We will not be enforcing child support payments.
[00:27:16] Like a firm of Iris, child support payments will not be whatever had sex with.
[00:27:33] This is not about George Floyd and you can hear a woman go what?
[00:27:40] That's the fucking warning sign right there.
[00:27:48] Just mashing the end bomb turbo button.
[00:27:55] And then it's just like because nobody's listening to that guy his entire life and he finally
[00:28:09] And that's you know, it's like that that should be like a like a like a Greek parable
[00:28:14] that you don't hear that there's not is there is there like in Greek mythology or what the
[00:28:21] dramas or tragedies like or comedies of tragedies, a story of somebody that's like waited for
[00:28:26] their moment their entire life and they get it.
[00:28:28] They just completely just absolutely shit the bed.
[00:28:32] No, I don't believe so, but I don't know most of them because that feels like it should
[00:28:40] That happens so much more than the like, right?
[00:28:42] Than the like, you know, inspirational.
[00:28:45] You just have to work hard and one day your time will come and that's when you'll show
[00:28:53] Three people in the world have done that ever.
[00:29:00] Nobody's yet nobody was a and it's much funnier and much more human than this guy's going
[00:29:08] to go back to living in a phone booth after this.
[00:29:14] The phone is drying, you know, fucking boardwalk shirts from the 1980s in.
[00:29:24] And he's like, you know, fucking talking to his wife that exists in his head and he's
[00:29:28] like, I don't think people liked my fucking boo coming every color speech.
[00:29:36] I was trying to unite us and that's the problem.
[00:29:40] I thought today would really be on board, especially when I said this isn't about George
[00:29:45] And then sort of kind of referred to him as the N word that he just happens to be one
[00:29:55] of many ends that we're all we're all in a way.
[00:30:04] We're all sort of like that, which is bad though.
[00:30:07] And they come in every, but we're all there's that version of us exists in every type of
[00:30:17] And we should not, but we it's, you know, I don't exactly I didn't thank God they cut
[00:30:21] me off because I was not sure where I was going with it.
[00:30:24] It's also to that guy's like that kind of like urban white trash in discernible race
[00:30:29] where it's like if he had to put something down, it's like it would probably just be
[00:30:37] That guy's race is like an ash parliament.
[00:30:43] A parliament, a parliament fucking ash into a fucking ice beer, some kind of ice tall
[00:30:49] A soft pack of fucking palm balls that he got pissed on in a gutter.
[00:30:56] If he never finds comedy and stays drunk.
[00:31:00] You know, you would give some kind of speech like that.
[00:31:22] Yeah, there was some other you see, France just absolutely just fucking up shit for no
[00:31:29] They were just they just had fucking motorcycles and shit on fire.
[00:31:35] They love it, especially it's like you want to talk about like two things France loves
[00:31:41] is fucking riding and destroying bullshit.
[00:31:56] I got a special message for you guys about actually maybe you got you got texts.
[00:32:02] Yeah, you can maybe you can get this one started.
[00:32:14] Well folks, hello, I don't know what the fuck Nick was said to me, but I have some good
[00:32:31] I guess we're supposed to be doing a read right now, but I don't think it is.
[00:32:45] I guess he sent me a read on Google Drive, but I can't open it.
[00:33:02] All right, well, take me to fucking Google Drive.
[00:33:10] Why the fuck won't it sign me the fucking just sign me in.
[00:33:15] I got to do a read you fucking piece of shit.
[00:33:23] Oh my fucking God, just let me open the thing.
[00:33:38] So I was thinking, you know, everybody's posting black squares.
[00:33:42] You know, I was thinking maybe what I would do is employ a black square.
[00:33:48] So I was thinking about hiring a blurred to teach me how to play Street Fighter.
[00:33:56] That's the kind of shit we're supposed to be doing supporting black owned businesses.
[00:33:59] I mean, that's the kind of well, I'm going to create a black owned business.
[00:34:03] You know, this guy, this guy is out there.
[00:34:05] He probably never even thought twice about fucking charging money to pocket.
[00:34:10] To fucking coaching street fighter coaching.
[00:34:16] If you want to help me get, if you want to train me in Street Fighter.
[00:34:24] But yeah, because it's like, I've always wanted to be good at fighting games.
[00:34:27] I was never the only one that I was only okay at was killer instinct.
[00:34:39] Do they have girls with big tits in it?
[00:34:42] Killer and sick people Nintendo is a is a and if you liked hits, actually, you'll
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[00:39:02] You see the videos from coming out of Long Island.
[00:39:07] So there's like protests in every state in the country.
[00:39:12] You know, it's like people are those guys are like, all right, I guess.
[00:39:30] How dare they they march and say to police are bad.
[00:39:35] How dare they love to say to police are bad.
[00:39:42] Anyway, I'm going to go watch the sopranos and then the godfather and then goodfellas
[00:39:55] You go out there and you think it's like because it's like all of the, you know, it's
[00:39:59] like it should be nice suburbs, but it's like that's because it was suburbs like fucking
[00:40:03] 30 years prior to the rest of the suburbs existing.
[00:40:06] It's like this experiment that went on way too long.
[00:40:09] It's not like it's ever going to fall into like fucking like severe decay in the way
[00:40:18] You know, it's like the the the the blight of Long Island is an intellectual one.
[00:40:23] It's like these fucking like hollowed out facades of like people and behind them.
[00:40:37] Yeah, there's better diners than there would be in the city, but Jersey has better diners.
[00:40:42] Jersey's much better than long seafood.
[00:40:44] I will give them the tip of the hat on seafood.
[00:40:47] Jersey is similar in a lot of ways, but you can just go somewhere real quick and be out
[00:40:55] Yeah, it's a fucking hike to get over to fucking Long Island behind in hot ass gay ass Delaware.
[00:41:00] You'll be down there fucking down in there on Rojobas, just in Rojobas with your fucking
[00:41:06] drinking cum speedo drinking a comma colada like it ain't shit big demands come with
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[00:42:08] And you know what a woman will say when she knows that you're taking bluechoo?
[00:42:18] I love how I just, it's completely off.
[00:42:22] Honestly, that's my best work ever, dude.
[00:42:32] I should do some, I shouldn't get some sounds going.
[00:42:38] The last thing I did was that voicemail from the Iranian guy.
[00:42:48] I get myself all morning doing an Indian guy in an argument and he keeps like, you must
[00:42:59] You aren't just sucking my penis exactly.
[00:43:06] It's like Boston market demanding a refund for something.
[00:43:27] My favorite, my favorite guy, look, there's been some great process.
[00:43:32] My favorite protester though was the guy, you see the guy who stole us a cop radio and
[00:43:45] I have a, his, I, I went to Liberty and for the soundboard.
[00:43:58] He's even like check this morning to see if more riding happened the last night or it
[00:44:13] What's the fucking Billy Billy the, the Blasio Billy the tomato sauce seems to really be
[00:44:21] I mean, like the way Corona and now this is proven that there's a.
[00:44:32] Like they're fucking completely unprepared to handle like literally fucking anything.
[00:44:38] The whole reason like a state exists and they can't fucking do any of the most basic shit.
[00:44:45] Well, what's funny too is like, and then Cuomo looks like a fucking retard because like Trump
[00:44:49] saying like governor's better rain their shit in or, you know, I'm going to send in
[00:44:53] the military and then the media is like, this is, we can't do this is outrageous.
[00:44:59] And then the next day Cuomo is like, build a Blasio better rain in, you know, it says
[00:45:06] like you literally the exact same thing.
[00:45:08] I'm saying people are like with poise and grace.
[00:45:13] Hey, spend the day like apologizing to the fucking NYPD.
[00:45:21] Do apologize to them for saying that they didn't do their job.
[00:45:25] What I don't like to are our mayors and governors literally scared the police would just start
[00:45:31] No, they literally docks the Blasios daughter.
[00:45:37] I mean, I think the bigger fear is that like, NYPD will just be like, okay, go ahead, do
[00:45:44] And then, you know, like sort of just stand down and let, which I mean, I haven't really
[00:45:49] paid attention to it since the Freddie Gray protests, but like, BPD like they were like,
[00:45:56] And then like crime rates, not crime rates went up, but it caused problems.
[00:46:00] Yeah, I don't have to look into it again, but it's like you don't really, I remember
[00:46:03] there was like one or two days where they stopped issuing citations or something like
[00:46:07] because the NYPD like literally announced we're protesting like counter protesting Black Lives
[00:46:12] Matter by not fucking arresting people.
[00:46:15] And then they quickly saw that it like, like fixed things.
[00:46:22] Didn't they go on strike and it wasn't a big deal?
[00:46:27] But if you have a situation where people are already like fucking like looting and properties
[00:46:31] being damaged and like economy has been fucked up and like there's like this governor's
[00:46:36] had nothing but like disdain for local business, local businesses that are like, hey, I need
[00:46:44] I mean, it's like attitude like a month ago when, you know, there was a reporter that asked
[00:46:48] him like, what about people that need to work, you know, to pay their, like, that's
[00:46:54] You know, he's like, go, he told him to become a fucking go get a job as an essential worker.
[00:47:01] Yeah, they've had this attitude towards those people and also the fucking acidic community.
[00:47:06] I mean, the Blasios just like straight up like railed against them and named them specifically.
[00:47:13] And then, you know, these protests happen and his daughters there and he's like, these
[00:47:18] And then today talking about like, well, we're still on schedule reopened by June 8th.
[00:47:22] And it's like, what do you fucking hysterical?
[00:47:24] Just open the city and we'll deal with the consequences.
[00:47:33] It's like it's like what they the only thing they should be doing is saying like we need
[00:47:37] to reopen the hospital at the Javits Center.
[00:47:42] Make sure that we have as many ventilators as possible.
[00:47:44] Because again, it's like the whole port like you're just a race all of that lockdown.
[00:47:50] If there isn't fucking like preparation right now to deal with the massive spike that these
[00:48:04] It's like the summer been that it's not real.
[00:48:06] It's that the the peak would have happened anyways.
[00:48:09] We would have had these cases and that whatever difference it made, the lockdown was insignificant
[00:48:14] and the hospitals wouldn't have been fucking overwhelmed if they didn't lock down and just
[00:48:18] issue general guidelines about social distancing or whatever.
[00:48:22] Do you think that's just going to pop off or no?
[00:48:27] I mean, I mean, it's like, it's not nice, but it's like it is it if it doesn't, then
[00:48:35] If it does, so I mean, if it does what I missed the last part.
[00:48:40] I mean, if there is like a massive spike because it's like there was a way where it was going
[00:48:44] to be like, okay, we're going to ease into reducing these restrictions.
[00:48:48] And it's like, well, that even in that context, it doesn't make any sense because from the
[00:48:51] get go, it was like, you know, it like we can't open up until we have mass testing or we have
[00:48:57] a vaccine or something, you know, yeah.
[00:49:00] So there it does the whole premise of opening up before that happens didn't make any sense.
[00:49:05] But now it's like they've blown this fucking release schedule.
[00:49:09] You have like a shit ton of people congregating.
[00:49:12] It's like, you know, it's like there's no it doesn't.
[00:49:19] You know, so if you don't see a spike, then it's like, well, what is there going to be
[00:49:26] I mean, they'll probably get away with just saying like, oh, it's good.
[00:49:29] Well, I heard I heard what I saw as like people saying like outdoor transmission is a big
[00:49:35] In which case, like, well, then why the fuck can people do shit outside?
[00:49:40] That information was available to people prior to these protests happening.
[00:49:43] It's like there were studies that say like outdoor transmission isn't happening for the
[00:49:48] Like there was studies in like South Korea that showed its mostly people in confined
[00:49:51] spaces together for a long period of time.
[00:49:55] That is fucking pissing me off because like, I don't know, we were made to think like,
[00:50:01] Why couldn't businesses just fucking why couldn't restaurants serve outside and we could even
[00:50:05] do I mean, it's fucking annoying as it is you could have done some kind of outdoor comedy.
[00:50:09] Like we didn't have to shut everything the fuck down.
[00:50:11] Yeah, not shut everything down, but you consider that they told everybody to stay in their
[00:50:14] homes and it's like, okay, well, who in the city is more likely to live in close quarters
[00:50:22] Who do they happen to be more often than not?
[00:50:26] So you have like these elevated death rates in those communities and they're like, what
[00:50:32] It's like, I wonder, you know, it's like you can't there's no way you can make an argument
[00:50:39] So unless the healthcare workers and say that they're giving substandard care to people
[00:50:47] You can say, you know, these people you've been clapping for at 5 p.m.
[00:50:51] They're all racist because they didn't do a good enough job saving black people or there's
[00:50:57] It's like, you know, like there's there's no like analysis of any of this shit.
[00:51:13] You're just fucking eluding a fucking a swab rack.
[00:51:17] Um, but fucking those robes we had in Brisbane, dude.
[00:51:23] There's probably some kind of gay robe store.
[00:51:28] I'm sure all the fucking gay robes have been stolen.
[00:51:34] I'm just me like fighting with a guy and getting shot outside of some gay.
[00:51:50] The podcast is me trying to do Bill Bursh it.
[00:51:54] You'd be like, well, uh, hey, everyone can use my head in with a fucking women's show
[00:52:04] He died trying to get a fucking protesting.
[00:52:14] You know, Nick talks a big game, but he was actually protesting for George Floyd and raising
[00:52:24] He did not get his shit split by a pack of gay men who were mad.
[00:52:27] He was getting the night source robe in, in the gayest looting of all time.
[00:52:33] Cause I mean, I'm never in that neighborhood.
[00:52:36] But yeah, the fashion of that world, it's just like, it's like gay black guys dressed
[00:52:54] When it, why did those hats start like initially?
[00:52:56] Because they're bigger than cowboy hats.
[00:53:01] Well, all hats have had the same basic design and then we kind of just fucked up with it
[00:53:14] You know, who needs that big ass, the big ass like zoot suit fedoras from the, like
[00:53:20] The 20s in Los Angeles at the Mexican guys we wear.
[00:53:24] That's because like all the clothes were big.
[00:53:27] I think that was partially like there was like war rationing going on.
[00:53:30] So you weren't allowed to have too much fabric.
[00:53:36] They were, that was their former stunt thing.
[00:53:41] I'm, I'm dipping my clothes in oil and eating a bunch of fucking chocolate.
[00:53:46] Dude, zoot suits were like as cool as things got here.
[00:53:49] What about, what about the fucking oatmeal guy hats?
[00:53:55] Uh, I guess, you know, I mean, it's like a fucking just like, I mean, I'm trying to
[00:54:00] think what, like, I guess it's kind of like a cowboy hat I'm looking at it right now.
[00:54:07] Um, there's like, yeah, I guess provides coverage from the sun.
[00:54:14] Like a boss of the planes hat is like the, like, that's like the typical hat shape.
[00:54:20] It might be a little bit higher than, um, yeah, you know, but yeah, I mean, just imagine
[00:54:26] like a button dome and a flat, you know, a flat brim.
[00:54:35] I'm just looking at hats, but you know, look at this guy, dude.
[00:54:50] I'm getting really into hat models now.
[00:54:59] Look at these results from all these hat models.
[00:55:07] Ah, these fucking little, there's some fucking horrible ones here.
[00:55:14] Like I get the big flat, like I get a big ass hat if it's like straw or something light
[00:55:21] But why, why a big black like felt type hat that would be hot.
[00:55:30] We're a tracksuit in the middle of summer.
[00:55:38] Well, we could have tear away tracks with a bathing suit underneath.
[00:55:41] That's the ultimate ready for anything.
[00:55:56] I'm going to, I want you to buy at least a $60 bathing suit.
[00:56:01] You're going to have to work those thighs now to match that upper body.
[00:56:12] I want some more leg meat on them fucking on them sticks, brother.
[00:56:17] I want the bitches gnawing at your fucking quads.
[00:56:24] Problem is you can't until that's why you should have looted a squat rack.
[00:56:31] I don't even know what the fucking get them, dude.
[00:56:33] Go to Dix and try and do a one man looting.
[00:56:41] Um, accessories, hats, scarves, gloves, wallets, slippers.
[00:56:56] Are we about to go organically into a read?
[00:57:10] They don't have, um, oh shit, Father's Day is coming up.
[00:57:17] I just realized you get to fucking buy your dad some bullshit.
[00:57:26] I was supposed to be the Sacramento punchline.
[00:57:36] So I can't watch the, it wouldn't have been.
[00:57:37] It would have been the playoffs and the Kings probably weren't going to be in it.
[00:57:44] It's like, how far is this from San Francisco?
[00:57:47] I mean, now I'm just pretending what I would have done.
[00:57:50] I think I probably would have just gone.
[00:57:51] I stayed in San Francisco for like a day after it was just a hank.
[00:57:56] The whole city feels like dying of an aneurysm.
[00:58:07] It's like California has all this natural beauty and they just like, they fucking blew
[00:58:28] Dude, we'll get you a bathing suit from casino Royale.
[00:58:33] Maybe I should get the casino Royale bathing suit.
[00:58:40] I'm looking for something for my penis.
[00:58:44] I want a bathing suit that looks makes my cock looks humongous.
[00:58:50] Honestly, though, and I don't mean to say this, but I don't know, man.
[00:58:56] You got to work those legs out before you get this one.
[00:58:59] Although your dick is bigger than you'd think.
[00:59:02] So maybe your dick would look nice compared to your skinny legs and you got a nice ripped
[00:59:09] It's just, you know, they need to, they need a pump.
[00:59:20] They're pretty thin, but they are, they are cut up.
[00:59:22] Well, the thing is you look, your upper body is looking the cutest fuck.
[00:59:37] You guys are both talking about how Jack you are.
[00:59:39] You have a sense of weight, wait six months though until there's progress.
[00:59:45] And they will both be sent when people were.
[00:59:48] Yeah, your legs look good in this picture, but your dick looks bad.
[01:00:01] I'm telling you, you have a nice cock that looks nice to the eye and you're not doing
[01:00:06] yourself any favors with the way you pulled it up to show your quads in this.
[01:00:09] Well, I'm going to tell you right now, dude.
[01:00:11] The problem is that I don't have expensive underwear.
[01:00:17] I promise to you right now, if if if fucking Sax Fifth Avenue is looted tonight, send me
[01:00:25] Pick me up a pair of La Perla onto or baby La Perla bathing suit.
[01:00:32] No, I thought we were about to go into a read.
[01:00:35] No, because I thought you're going to be like, the problem is I don't have expensive underwear.
[01:00:41] And I thought then we're going to be like, really?
[01:00:42] Where could you get some of this quality, but not that expensive?
[01:00:47] If you're if you loot Sax Fifth Avenue tonight and you want to pick me up a pair of expensive
[01:00:51] underwear, yes, get Nick the La Perla Grigio Perle a bit blue swim trunks.
[01:00:57] I never realized that fucking Virgil, Texas is in die another day or not die another day.
[01:01:10] The queue in Skyfall is just Virgil, Texas.
[01:01:13] Oh, I thought you meant he was literally in a movie in a bottle.
[01:01:23] Listen, I was wondering if maybe could kill this Russian guy that we've been having a
[01:01:36] Tell me my dick looks bad in that picture.
[01:01:40] You got a nice cock, but it doesn't shine in this picture.
[01:01:57] This picture you sent me of Daniel Craig.
[01:01:59] His helmet is nice and you know, I see where it is.
[01:02:05] It looks good for the hand, good for the mouth.
[01:02:14] The thing is, I'm telling you your cock can look nice.
[01:02:18] I don't understand why you're mad at me for having your best interest at heart.
[01:02:25] I just want your cock to shine and it's not shining.
[01:02:30] And for you to be mad at me right now is fucked up on your end, honestly.
[01:02:35] Because if I was if I was a bad friend, I would say, Oh, yeah, your cock looks fine.
[01:02:40] Because because right now a coward would want to avoid your this reaction that I'm getting,
[01:02:45] but because I believe in myself, I believe in you and I want your cock to look nice and
[01:02:49] bikini pics that you take, I'm telling you right now.
[01:02:58] Just got good to get pictures of myself taking his James Bond.
[01:03:07] Yeah, dude, you just get a fucking light blue fucking G string.
[01:03:11] Oh, hey, James, we're going to need you to be trans for the mission.
[01:03:18] The problem is that Russia hates gay people.
[01:03:22] The new James Bond is he has to go help the LGBT community in Russia.
[01:03:30] James, you have to go over there and fix them.
[01:03:33] James, you have to get your penis cut off.
[01:03:36] Yeah, and then they just, Daniel Craig's only in the movie up until the scene where he gets
[01:03:45] This all happens in the first five minutes and then he's like Michelle Rodriguez.
[01:03:55] So this is, I'm, this is what I look like now.
[01:04:07] They'd probably make some British bitch.
[01:04:11] I hate to break it to you, man, because I know fast spot and fast and furious movies mean
[01:04:19] Let's see how old Michelle Rodriguez is.
[01:04:36] Sometimes we chop out each other's cocks.
[01:04:40] Sometimes we hold hands just to see how it feels.
[01:04:44] There is, there is a lot to go with on fast and the curious.
[01:04:50] I live my life a quarter inch of penis at a time.
[01:04:53] Tom, when I bend over, you can look into my asshole.
[01:05:16] The ludicrous and tireist just sucking each other's cocks.
[01:05:22] Every time they add a character, he's not gay at first, but then he's gay in the next
[01:05:29] Yeah, at the end, you just kind of like, yeah, I can watch you guys, kids.
[01:05:35] Like, there's one thing I don't, I can't stand.
[01:06:07] If that's what it takes to get the job done, go ahead.
[01:06:28] All right, folks, we'll see, I guess, by the shirts come downtown.
[01:06:32] By the shirts this Friday, I'm doing a study, solves your problems on Twitch.
[01:06:37] I'm Dylan will be the guest and we'll be raising money for fucking, I think I'm going
[01:06:44] to start donating some mutual aid for places affected by the protests and whatnot.
[01:06:57] The fundraiser we did with Microscene comes out today, I think.
[01:07:00] And then we'll be going back to Australia.
[01:07:06] And in six days now that it's fake, we're going to go back there.
[01:07:11] They tried to reschedule this for fucking like, we're like right now.
[01:07:23] They tried to make another Haka video go viral.
[01:07:25] It's like the mowries do the Haka for Black Lives Matter.
[01:07:29] It's like, all right, we've seen enough of the dance.
[01:07:35] We did a couple of tries to make it not gay.
[01:07:39] I don't even think it's I think sometimes it can hit, but this is not going to be it,
[01:07:44] It's not because the one they tried to make viral was like it was like half fat white
[01:07:49] Well, the last one they did was like they're doing the Haka for firefighters in 9 11 or
[01:07:57] There was one that you would like where the New Zealand basketball players are doing it
[01:08:03] And they're like, we're 5,000 times better than your basketball.
[01:08:06] You can fucking gay and stay in perfect scare us at all.
[01:08:10] And then they beat them by like a hundred points.