Cum Town | Regular | 08/26/2020
[00:00:00] Oh my dick is small. Yeah, we're just gonna go ahead and get started here. Let's I love it. Yeah, but it
[00:00:08] I'm putting it on and I'm putting it on and I'm putting it on and I'm putting it on. Yeah, I'm trying to see
[00:00:14] return to that area. Yep. CKY. Chiffelle. Chiffelle brother. Yeah. I've been on a little
[00:00:20] Chiffelle kick. Suck the dick below. A lot of people don't know this but is that them? They got
[00:00:30] the name the name Chiffelle of the band comes from it's actually a cool car. And that they're
[00:00:39] dad like that's awesome. They like cool cars. So they need we should make a band called Firebird.
[00:00:44] It's so funny because there's probably a lot of people that make like shitty music. Right.
[00:00:48] They're still like definitely more serious artists than the band Chiffelle. Yeah, for sure. And then
[00:00:53] you just have to watch those bands become like super popular. Just a dumb ass band that should
[00:00:58] have ended. All those guys should have worked at Jiffy Lube or gone to community college afterwards.
[00:01:04] Yeah. But instead for some reason a band named after a car took off. They.
[00:01:10] Is that them suck the dick below? Yeah. Just cause my dick is small.
[00:01:20] That song's about being bad at snowboarding. No. Yeah.
[00:01:25] Wait you went on Genius? No, I didn't go on Genius. You mean rap Genius? No, it's just
[00:01:31] Genius is for all types of songs. Oh wow. Yeah. A fucking rebrand. Well it was for guys like me
[00:01:37] that are already rap Geniuses. We need to become Genius. I just started a other site called Pussy
[00:01:42] Genius. Yeah. It's just a picture of Pussy and be like, you know, that's where you put your cock.
[00:01:50] This is the meaning behind this pussy. Yep. The true meaning. And here is the general area where
[00:01:55] the clit is, which I'm I know most of for the most, but sometimes I get mixed up. Damn, this
[00:02:02] guy's a real genius. The piss holes around there somewhere. I still don't get the piss hole.
[00:02:11] I still don't get where that is. It's either right below or right above the link I've ever seen.
[00:02:18] That's a real thing. I've asked every single girlfriend I've ever had where the piss hole is
[00:02:22] and they're like, it's an all zero. Right. And all the guys zero. And all the we're like,
[00:02:29] what do you mean? I'm a guy in my penis right? It's right there at the front of my penis.
[00:02:37] You keep asking where the pistol is. It's right. But it's where the cum that you eat also comes
[00:02:41] out of your lunch. Your lunch comes out of your lunch. Come on, bro. Yeah, you keep calling it
[00:02:47] the lunch hole. Come on, bro. It's actually the fucking you say a lot of jacked up stuff about me
[00:02:55] on here, but do not say I have had real girlfriends that are I have penises.
[00:03:03] Oh, fuck. Just because my dick is small. And there's sustained there's puddle of mud.
[00:03:11] So my dick real slow. We remember a lot of us.
[00:03:19] Fucking penises. The pain below feels like sucking penis inside of my ass.
[00:03:27] What's that? This is below. This is all new metal. Right. Is that the general?
[00:03:32] It's not new. I wouldn't say they're new metal. New metal is corn.
[00:03:34] It's be quiet is what it is. Oh, yes. That's not the type of music.
[00:03:40] Yes. Give God God God God God God God God is ass. I got him.
[00:03:44] I should have seen it. He was trying to talk and I told him to show.
[00:03:52] Don't waste your time on me. I'm already.
[00:03:56] It's Corona. Michael Douglas announces his new podcast.
[00:04:06] I have my own podcast now with my co-host Adam.
[00:04:09] Who's a gay man? Stop it. Would you just stop it? Would you just fucking stop it?
[00:04:19] Chill out. So Michael, what do you think of that? Orancy?
[00:04:22] I think you should stop. I think you should watch your fucking mouth.
[00:04:30] What do I have to do? I have to wash your fucking mouth out with cum.
[00:04:35] Boy, friends, what exactly do I have to do? Michael, you are my.
[00:04:39] I have to wash your mouth out with shit.
[00:04:43] You have to make love to your mouth with my ass.
[00:05:04] I put my ass at my ass. I feel like it's sexy.
[00:05:15] Is that the way for you to sexy at my ass on your lips?
[00:05:26] Mr. Me to be raising a law firm and he keeps making 900 number phone calls.
[00:05:33] And it's fucking up his ability to be a lawyer.
[00:05:36] He's checking off to white shoe, high power man, and lawyer.
[00:05:42] I got a call with my client in three minutes.
[00:05:49] It's sexy. It's sexy when I hidden your mouth.
[00:05:56] Michael, some of the partners are kind of worried about how much time you've been
[00:06:02] Listen, they pulled the logs and they saw who you were calling.
[00:06:06] That's not a big deal, but maybe you want to save that for after hours.
[00:06:09] Why don't you mind your own goddamn business, Scott?
[00:06:23] Who wins the who's the breadwinner here?
[00:06:29] The dick below just like sucking penis.
[00:06:34] A lot of celebrities have to do do be having podcasts though.
[00:06:38] Yeah, they think the Rob Lowe has one, I think.
[00:06:40] Good afternoon. You're listening to Michael Douglas and Ashton Kutcher.
[00:06:50] Dude, Ashton, this is the older pussy podcast.
[00:06:55] He played Demi Moore's pussy like it was stocks.
[00:07:06] Your butt cheeks up to Demi Moore's pussy.
[00:07:30] I'm like a thick bush all over your ass.
[00:07:44] I'm a baby and I'm going to be wiped in my pussy like me.
[00:07:49] yeah, I think I got an email from Michael Douglas.
[00:07:59] You're listening to the Michael Douglas punk podcast.
[00:08:04] And who better the punk for the first episode than Ashton Kutcher?
[00:08:19] I think it's punk saying you raped one next wife.
[00:08:58] It's got a little exclamation point in red next to it.
[00:09:47] And now all of the women that worked on the show
[00:09:51] I was raped and traumatized by the show.
[00:09:55] And then none of them, they're like here.
[00:09:58] A lot of people have asked me to talk about Patriot Act.
[00:10:00] I avoid it because each time I relive the experience of being humiliated and
[00:10:10] Tweeting this will probably not help me or anyone else.
[00:10:16] Women braver than me have already spoke up.
[00:10:19] The show was a necessary and important one.
[00:10:36] As the first billion dollars I made in film,
[00:10:40] I spent on the world's tiniest projector.
[00:10:43] So I could have Citizen Kane projected directly under my asshole
[00:10:56] And then you went into the weekly political satire, Michael, afterwards?
[00:11:08] And then people got bored of seriously.
[00:11:10] So we've watched because it's time to acknowledge people were like,
[00:11:19] I love watching stuff off your ass, Michael.
[00:11:24] Did you get very close to see the screen?
[00:11:28] Because Sussan is the same color as smash it.
[00:11:46] You have a dial and you set it to different colors?
[00:12:14] And we did a bit where you come out of the curtain,
[00:12:21] And I got from having my ass licked by Catherine after she
[00:12:26] spent the afternoon trying out new salsas.
[00:12:32] Even Michael Douglas thinks she's a spam.
[00:12:48] And sometimes, sometimes hot sauce is still on a tongue.
[00:13:01] they said particular stuff about Patriot Act.
[00:13:04] And then right in the middle of it, it's a cabbage in a Jones
[00:13:11] I had a bunch of friends over to watch Citizen Kane.
[00:13:16] And everyone said, what is this Patriot Act with Hassan Minash?
[00:13:27] I was trying to give you a shit curtain.
[00:13:39] Send a new email to Ashton, dear Ashton.
[00:13:44] Would you like to come open, watch Citizen Kane?
[00:13:50] I've got the world's tiniest projector.
[00:13:57] Michael, you actually did rape his wife?
[00:14:00] I thought you were punking him by pretending.
[00:14:10] Honestly, Mike, I think you should be arrested and taken to the police.
[00:14:17] Anyway, so back to this woman's accusation.
[00:14:19] But I wonder if it was worth the mental anguish.
[00:14:24] I went through over my last few months there.
[00:14:28] I wish they truly practiced the progressive ethos they cultivated on screen.
[00:14:34] They would really deserve all your love.
[00:14:44] I've been thinking all day about how Prachi Gu and Amali Kin's tweets on their former workplaces
[00:14:51] and how much courage it must have taken to speak.
[00:14:57] What do you mean, do the lights look weird?
[00:15:07] It remembers the settings from the last time you did it.
[00:15:10] So unless you clear the board by moving them up and then back down,
[00:15:15] it just means it's set where it should be.
[00:15:18] It would be a problem if that orange one was all the way down.
[00:15:35] And then what did people say in response to it?
[00:15:40] I think there will be a time soon when the people behind the show
[00:15:42] dive into some of the problems behind the scene.
[00:15:45] Now, here's the first complaint listed.
[00:15:47] A mostly white writer's room, for example.
[00:15:53] Is it if white people are in the writer's room?
[00:16:00] Hilariously tone deaf to publicly mourn the possible future
[00:16:04] while not publicly supporting your marginalized abused colleagues.
[00:16:09] How about just don't ever hire Indian women again?
[00:16:20] The Rami show was like they turned over the writer's room
[00:16:24] And then it was like an Indian woman that was like,
[00:16:27] they have been raped by not being hired.
[00:16:44] It wasn't like they just didn't hire women back.
[00:16:47] It was like framed in some kind of bullshit way on social media.
[00:16:50] Well, Rami's got himself a Golden Globe,
[00:16:56] Well, I've got a Golden, I have a different kind of Golden Globe.
[00:17:07] I wasn't, I was hoping people wouldn't figure it out.
[00:17:13] Is it like the award or is it just a big Golden Globe?
[00:17:17] or each of the individual planets in order from the sun to Pluto.
[00:17:26] The biggest one, you put that one in your ass first.
[00:17:32] that's so much bigger than the other ones.
[00:17:34] And I was arrested at the Ben Franklin Institute in Philadelphia
[00:17:43] Was it because there was still shit on it?
[00:17:45] And that caused problems at my job at the law firm,
[00:17:50] which is the plot of my new film, Philadelphia 2,
[00:18:07] yeah, it's Philadelphia directed by Sidney Lumet.
[00:18:11] The opening scene is Tom Hanks's sweating in a jail cell.
[00:18:15] And, uh, Denzel is this public defender that shows up.
[00:18:22] you were putting the entire solar system in your ass at the Ben Franklin Institute.
[00:18:29] Tom makes after the events of the first note.
[00:18:31] This is just a redoing of Philadelphia.
[00:18:35] Where it's Philadelphia directed by Sidney Lumet,
[00:18:38] where Tom Hanks is sweating in a jail cell.
[00:18:44] Denzel has assigned this case and he's like,
[00:18:46] you're looking at first degree sexual misconduct, you know.
[00:19:11] So Michael Douglas is not in it though.
[00:19:19] It's from the twisted mind of Michael Douglas.
[00:19:26] I'm writing a movie for my good friend Sidney Lumet.
[00:19:41] How you going to be putting your shit in your ass, man?
[00:19:45] Michael, that really doesn't sound like Denzel.
[00:19:52] I've met him dozens and so then Tom Hanks says,
[00:20:14] And is there like cock sucking on screen?
[00:20:25] We haven't mentioned yet on this show that we use it for gay.
[00:20:32] And it works for both heterosexual and gay sex.
[00:20:35] I wouldn't know about the heterosexual sex aspect of it,
[00:20:38] but it very much works for the gay sex.
[00:20:41] I've never, I've only used it to have sex with girls.
[00:20:43] I get it before I get my prostate milked.
[00:20:51] Yeah, blue chew is a beautiful product, folks.
[00:20:55] Whether you're gay like Adam or straight like me.
[00:21:04] And it's nice because it's the same active ingredient,
[00:21:26] Yeah, I hate the awkward in-person doctor's visit.
[00:21:30] your doctor has to taste if your dick is soft or not.
[00:21:32] And then your doctor looks at you and he says,
[00:21:38] Awkwardturtle, a performance enhancement for the bedroom.
[00:21:43] Imagine putting a spoiler on your asshole so you can fuck faster.
[00:21:53] I've requested to be put into the Fast and the Furious.
[00:21:58] But Michael Douglas running with a spoiler sticking out of his head.
[00:22:16] The pair of new balance running sneakers.
[00:22:19] And there's a spoiler coming out of his head.
[00:22:33] A lot of people ask me, Michael, how is it possible that you had sex with 10,000 women?
[00:22:38] That's because I am not in one pump immediately.
[00:22:43] Because there's a spoiler coming out of my ass.
[00:22:46] They're sponsored by blue chew right now.
[00:22:54] What the fuck is that Red Bull thing where they're like,
[00:23:09] Great job making us look like fucking idiots.
[00:23:15] Red Bull is kind of opposite of blue chew.
[00:23:19] It's red instead of blue and instead of chew it's bold.
[00:23:48] Be in the basement with the Red Bull or on the top of the empire.
[00:23:51] The Empire State Bill with the hard-ass dick times.
[00:24:02] JJ Walker, JJ is sort of the opposite of LL at the end of Bull.
[00:24:06] So JJ Walker is in good times and they're moving on up, which is a theme song from a different show.
[00:24:27] I love not taking my pills except for Blue Chiff.
[00:24:34] Because the boring thing is Nick takes a pill.
[00:24:45] I said, well, Michael Douglas is your doctor.
[00:24:58] I'm not Michael Douglas on a separate character.
[00:25:00] I'm a different guy with one of those little things on his head.
[00:25:07] I've never seen a doctor wear one of those.
[00:25:09] Yeah, it's reflective back when you start to operate by candlelight.
[00:25:17] Oh, dude, that's when surgery was romantic.
[00:25:25] Chewables can be taken on a fuller empty stomach.
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[00:26:06] over the biggest amount of pills free and then cancel.
[00:26:21] I was wondering how they didn't get like
[00:26:27] the commercial like part of it is just a scene from Terminator 2.
[00:26:34] The one where Arnold's dick is where he's-
[00:26:36] The something exploding and he's riding the uh-
[00:26:56] I probably had seen that Nationwide warehouse commercial
[00:27:10] I got- I had to turn off right after I saw that he got-
[00:27:33] Yeah, they say they expire, but I don't believe-
[00:27:42] Because I got a bunch when the fucking pandemic-
[00:28:04] I was laughing about like just accusing a Chinese lady
[00:28:06] of copying me like with the shit I'm buying.
[00:28:13] Stop buying four dozen eggs and the 10 pounds of rice.
[00:28:19] That's what they're fucking doing, dude.
[00:28:22] Did you see that pool party rave they had in Wuhan?
[00:28:27] That's our favorite kind of shit to do.
[00:28:34] The Chinese are all grinding on each other.
[00:28:37] I didn't even know Chinese guy got pussy like that.
[00:28:43] Yeah, they catch some big pussy getting-
[00:28:49] Do you see that video, Nick, with the Wuhanese?
[00:28:58] They shot a guy in the back seven times.
[00:29:01] I watched that video and as they murder the guy-
[00:29:16] That man gets shot in front of his kids.
[00:29:18] I wonder what Red would think about the whole situation.
[00:29:21] I think he would say something like this.
[00:29:40] it'd be a letter and it said somebody raped my wife.
[00:29:58] Why don't you get your little spick friend down in my basement?
[00:30:05] Like he talks all a big game about wanting to fuck it in the late-
[00:30:09] Can you get your Chinese friend out of my basement, please?
[00:30:27] You two come with me, just takes Jackie and fucking Donna with him.
[00:30:32] Me and the bald neighbor and his big titty wife are doing cocaine.
[00:30:43] Me and the bald neighbor's big titted wife are doing cocaine.
[00:31:31] Darren Wilson, Leo fucking what's his name?
[00:31:43] You know cops would literally make a video game like that.
[00:31:48] If you put that song together, cops would listen to it.
[00:32:10] Who are the cops who killed Breonna Taylor?
[00:32:14] One of them has such a funny looking face.
[00:32:25] He's trying to get you to have gay sex with him in a bathroom.
[00:32:29] Wait, looks like he's like shitting himself.
[00:32:32] Like he's like trying to not shit himself.
[00:32:34] Right. And he's trying to be coy at the same time.
[00:32:54] Yeah, Shang-Song, can you please just read the names?
[00:33:26] It's so funny to just how like that movie makes zero sense whatsoever.
[00:33:29] And because it's just like, I mean, imagine how sweet of a job was to like,
[00:33:36] Like imagine pumping out the script for that piece of shit,
[00:33:40] Where they're like, yeah, I mean, the game doesn't make any sense.
[00:33:44] I'm really worried about the like, all right, Dennis Hopper is Bowser.
[00:33:48] Everyone's wearing patent leather for some reasons.
[00:33:51] And there's another dinosaur world where everybody's like,
[00:33:55] evolved from lizards and John Lewis, Ama.
[00:34:12] But we're not talking about you right now.
[00:34:35] We've got, it's Jack Nicholson and John Leguizama.
[00:34:43] The Super Mario movie starring Jack Nicholson and Michael Douglas.
[00:34:52] Do these overalls make my penis look bad?
[00:35:04] Listen Mario, why don't you shut the fuck up for a sec?
[00:35:08] You got to get these mushrooms or something.
[00:35:12] We got to fuck the m, I don't know what.
[00:35:17] I can't, I have no idea what Jack Nicholson would be saying in that movie.
[00:35:21] I think he'd be saying I want to get Pussy from Peach.
[00:35:29] He's too slick to do a good impression.
[00:35:30] Yeah, he'd say I don't want some beaver.
[00:35:48] I literally don't even remember the movie at all.
[00:35:56] It's a long good Friday, you should watch that on.
[00:35:59] That should be next on your list for sure.
[00:36:01] You know what, I'm going to go watch Simone Good Friday today.
[00:36:15] I was so, I did not believe it when my mom told me he was me
[00:36:20] He's from Roger Rabbit, you fucking bitch.
[00:36:39] I remember when I saw Saving Silverman for the first time.
[00:36:45] I did not realize Jack Black was the same guy.
[00:36:50] I just kind of knew Tenacious D is an entity.
[00:37:11] and you will see where some of our shit comes from.
[00:37:13] Not me because I've never listened to those CDs.
[00:37:27] Dude, you got to listen to Adam's medium pace.
[00:37:44] And everyone would just talk about Billy Madison all the time.
[00:37:48] where he's a retarded guy that screams.
[00:37:52] It's the, yeah, it's the genesis of it's where it all comes from.
[00:37:57] I'm just saying, well, my personal preferences are.
[00:38:04] She like Adam Sandler always gave Chris roll in every movie.
[00:38:12] I saw those movies a thousand times during the day on comedy.
[00:38:19] It's a little annoying gay guy in a lovable fat man.
[00:38:25] Haru is such a fucking funny character.
[00:38:45] Dude, at a medium pace is maybe the funniest.
[00:38:52] You guys can talk about Adam Sandler for a second.
[00:38:55] Let me see if I can just pull up his song.
[00:38:58] Billy Madison is one of the few movies from childhood that's still funny.
[00:39:06] There were so many pieces of shit that I liked when I was a kid that you watch again.
[00:39:23] Why do you both you and Nick have to hurt me today?
[00:39:28] There's so much, it's just, I don't know, Billy Madison just, it's perfect.
[00:39:35] We're just going to play at a medium pace.
[00:39:52] Him and I are known for having similar singing voices.
[00:40:00] Similar guitar playing styles and tone.
[00:40:40] It's an analogy for the, the cultural malaise of the 90s.
[00:40:47] The maver that he wants rubbed on his face.
[00:40:57] Well, don't forget his classic character opera.
[00:41:08] And you know what I actually love more than even the art that he made that I love?
[00:41:15] He just makes a bunch of shitty movies, but he hangs out with his boys
[00:41:34] And every once in a while, when he wants to show people that his dick is big,
[00:41:36] he's like, yeah, I'll do a great acting job.
[00:41:40] People like, wow, he's as good as anyone at acting.
[00:41:41] Yeah, but I mean, Punchrock love is great.
[00:41:43] And then he is very good in uncut jams.
[00:41:49] So yeah, the comedy never really did it for me.
[00:41:51] And I don't think none of that is, I think he's a bad guy.
[00:42:02] I mapped them out actually as being part of fitting in with one another.
[00:42:11] I mean, I saw Billy Madison late, but I saw a big daddy.
[00:42:41] I just remember being pissed because it was a good move.
[00:42:57] Even in the bad ones, there's still little gems.
[00:43:05] But you compare it to some of the greatest comedies of all time.
[00:43:13] I'm saying that sort of as a joke, but also-
[00:43:20] Yeah, we used to dance like that in the old neighborhood.
[00:43:28] I remember liking it when it first came out,
[00:43:35] When he doesn't take himself seriously, he's great.
[00:43:38] Even when he does take himself seriously, it's very funny.
[00:43:41] That's when he's funny, yeah, he's funny, but he's not.
[00:43:48] Yeah, there's like four adopted brothers.
[00:43:53] And then they meet for their like mom's funeral,
[00:43:58] And I guess- I don't know if she was killed by gang violence.
[00:44:04] Yeah, she was a good person or something.
[00:44:06] They're like, we're going to have to solve this murder.
[00:44:13] There in Detroit, and he still has a boss-
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[00:48:33] She just gorgeous. I like this shit. I love it. I wake up. I'm stressed to fuck out. I take my cold shower
[00:48:39] I'm like, no, that didn't do it. Yeah, you know, I work out. I'm like still pissed
[00:48:42] Right and then it's like I look outside. It's a beautiful day. I'm like well, and I'm sure it'll continue to be beautiful days
[00:48:50] Everyone else does also. Yeah, everyone. I love at least and the whole world is just going to shit
[00:48:56] Yeah, and then I smoke my CBD and I'll go time to go back to sleep
[00:49:00] And that's what you can only ask for yeah, and then I'm in my dream getting robot
[00:49:05] Fucking robot there's nothing like sucking on your nuts. Yeah, I'm jacking you all I'm fucking replicants and blaze rotter
[00:49:13] The replicants had pussies in the movie, right? Yeah. Yeah, there is sex sex pluckens. That's awesome
[00:49:20] Mm-hmm, and you but they were trying to kill them. Yeah
[00:49:23] Yeah, they are Chinese guy. What can you tell me about this?
[00:49:29] Comes from a pussy. It's a pussy. Yeah, but it very expensive very expensive
[00:49:35] You're saying this hair came off of a giant
[00:49:41] Them and the good news is you get pussy in your dreams no matter what with sea with cushy dreams cushy dreams calm
[00:49:48] They have three or two main product lines the flower and the joints love three rules
[00:49:54] And guess what's inside of the joints so inside our into within the two main product lines
[00:50:04] Mmm private reserve ultra premium premium love that all that stuff you can either get an eighth and the tin
[00:50:10] Which is nitrogen sealed for optimal freshness love popping it open and smelling the good cushy dreams
[00:50:23] That's what I say every time I crack open. Yeah, I'm a fucking guy. Oh, that's what's a fucking guy. Yeah out here in Cali
[00:50:38] Yeah, I have brain damage from growing up in California
[00:50:45] I'm driving up the Frisco to huff gas with a girl who's got her eyeball pierced
[00:50:53] Yeah, really cool stuff. We got some friends up and humbled
[00:50:58] Showed us how to shove the weed in our ass
[00:51:03] I'm not allowed to smoke weed anymore because the government will take away my skateboard
[00:51:11] Yeah, basically any person I talked to for more than 10 minutes is immediately put a gun in their mouth and blew their brains out
[00:51:20] Anybody that is the little woman that had this older
[00:51:24] This guy who must have been in his 40s that would just come fuck her
[00:51:27] But I would get stuck talking to him and he was just fucking
[00:51:35] That guy needed some high-quality CBD cushy dreams to blow him out
[00:51:42] Yeah, and how would he get that Nick? He'd be go to cushy dreams calm. That's K ush y dreams calm dreams of the
[00:51:53] Check out use promo code comm town for 20% off your first order Wow smoke your CBD because you can because you can
[00:52:10] Costco okay, and I need to speak to the manager. All right because I was here last week
[00:52:17] And a Chinese woman was following me around
[00:52:29] We should hire Chinese police do that would be a good point. That's a good point. There was a Chinese lady copying all of my purchases
[00:52:48] My mic stop raping people that's not a punk. That's first of course. I would never do that
[00:52:54] Did you say you raped actions? I went back to my car and I watched citizen King
[00:53:06] I have stirrups next to the steering wheel
[00:53:15] The way I said people draw my second billion dollars
[00:53:18] I mean in film I spent on a maserati with stirrups on the steering wheel from a gynecologist's office
[00:53:31] Steering wheel so I can watch citizen Kane in a mirror while I drive and it's a mirror that's pointed at your ass
[00:53:37] So you get there's a mirror on the steering wheel which also has stirrups so I can watch
[00:53:42] Tiny citizen being while driving the car with my legs. Oh, okay. You get it projected backwards
[00:53:48] So in the mirror it looks the right way
[00:53:55] The being ridiculous, I'm sorry you're being absolutely
[00:54:05] Make sure you stop distracting me. I'm trying to drive
[00:54:17] Rosebud am I right boys fucking citizen motherfucking Kane
[00:54:23] Citizen brain. Yeah, the move is pretty good. Honestly. Yeah, I thought it was gonna be bad. I
[00:54:28] Remember watching in college with my boy and being like this is gonna suck. Yeah, and it was good
[00:54:35] It's like we're just putting something on to get comfortable
[00:54:47] Don't need to get upset all right, I'm sorry. We're just putting a movie on throw it on it's a couple of guys watching citizen Kane
[00:54:59] Yeah, it feels weird at first. I know I went through this with Michael Douglas
[00:55:03] Wow, he's like the galain. I was just a guy. I played lacrosse in University of Texas
[00:55:11] Suddenly Michael Douglas comes through Ross and everyone says well
[00:55:15] That's Michael Douglas. Yeah Wall Street and he pulls me aside and he says you want to make a billion dollars
[00:55:20] I'm still okay. You gave my billion dollars. I didn't yeah, I didn't well. Yeah, you know
[00:55:29] Just watching citizen Kane. That's a good movie, but you play with my nuts for a second
[00:55:40] Uh, I don't know. He's cute. Maybe just kiss. I would kiss him. Yeah
[00:55:53] Tell you what we can go over to my place. Take the molly there
[00:55:57] No, I'm good. I'm just gonna chill on my spot. Owen. Thank you. No, I borrowed Michael Douglas's projector
[00:56:04] I would really rather watch it on a tv than your ass
[00:56:08] I don't even understand why so much is wall screen. We say the promo code for cushy dreams. Yeah, come town town. Okay. We did
[00:56:17] If they try to say we didn't we'll get the gats out. Yeah, we're gonna go storm their
[00:56:23] I would never do that because I enjoy the product too much. Yeah, it's really good. It feels good to you
[00:56:30] It feels good to do it. It feels good, man. Yeah
[00:56:33] To do the cushy drains. Hey tough guy. Why don't you try and get to make fucking your ass with this
[00:56:45] That's still probably the funniest sign in any movie of all time. Always be ready. Hey, always be ready
[00:56:56] Salute to that motherfucker. Mm-hmm. I wish I was that flexible. I want to do splits. Yeah, I tried
[00:57:02] I can't do it. No. Yeah, I looked out. I found like a regimen like a like a stretching thing
[00:57:08] I looked at some youtube guy who'd like was like he's Australian. He's like yeah, I had problems with
[00:57:16] You know, I'm sort of just working on it and it's like it's a two-year progress before he can do this two years
[00:57:22] Yeah, dude. It takes forever to get limber and this is a young guy too. And I'm like fuck that. I saw a girl on
[00:57:27] I'm 31. I saw girl on twitter say she could do splits in like five days
[00:57:32] That's because women have different yeah, because they got pussy. Pussies go split
[00:57:35] They're used to busting them wide open. Yeah. Hey, I always be ready
[00:57:42] So john clawed a bus is busy wide open. Is that what you're saying? I don't know
[00:57:46] Well, yeah, he's used to busting it wide open
[00:57:49] I say, I don't been tell that DJ around a bang. Yeah, I love how they work the splits into every film every movie
[00:58:00] Oh, man. You gotta have a classic band. There's an awesome video going around twitter segull
[00:58:07] Doing a fight recently. It's awesome. Where the guys lose on purpose
[00:58:12] No, no, it was like in a movie and they just cut out real wide anytime he has to do anything
[00:58:22] He's just like very lethargically moving his fucking yeah
[00:58:26] It's mostly hand you know, I'm gonna do I'm gonna have a field day field day was the best with the giant soccer ball
[00:58:33] Hell yeah giant soccer ball eat those little weak ass hamburgers
[00:58:39] That was awesome. Yeah sacris what else the egg the egg race also. Let's not forget. Mm-hmm on the spoon
[00:58:46] Yeah, do you eat it three legged race? No, you don't eat it motherfucker. You fucking race
[00:58:51] I said you know, why would I eat it? Why would I eat a fucking egg at field day when they got all these fucking treats?
[00:58:56] I just want to be a parent. I'm like I'm right for that
[00:59:03] I said I maybe both of us could could raise one. I'd like for the people in my life to have choice
[00:59:08] Yeah, that'd be cool. I probably have no problem being like being uh being like dad friends with you
[00:59:13] Yeah raising a kid with your boy that could actually leave and then me my son be like that guy's out of the bag
[00:59:18] I can't push you dude. No, that's my son too. Yeah, there's two guys for fucking gay
[00:59:29] Let's go to uncle star's place to watch this okay
[00:59:33] You can't teach your son such a cleanness
[00:59:38] Calling a guy in his son two guys a guy is like four year old son
[00:59:43] What's your fucking home? Oh, it's fucking queer
[00:59:50] Uh calling a baby a guy is awesome. Yeah
[00:59:57] No, I want to be the uncle man. So please everyone have kids uncle star. I want my brothers to have kids
[01:00:03] Yeah, I just want I want like a kid. They help me out with chores and shit old west style. Yeah front tier style. No, not even
[01:00:17] I dealt my grandfather with more shit more shit than anything
[01:00:22] And he was always it was always because he's not like an easy guy to get along with
[01:00:27] Yeah, but he would always have tasks and if it was just me being assigned something I could handle that right, you know
[01:00:35] Uh, my dad made me work on somebody else. Yes. Yes. Yes. Now. You're the difficult guy to get along with
[01:00:47] That's the way it works is a circle of life. My grandfather is his his tasks were look through trash for something good
[01:00:54] Mm-hmm. We're like on the street. Oh, yeah, dude. That's cool. My man was a horse
[01:00:59] Skills you look exactly like starvania dress up in a tenuki suit
[01:01:02] No joke. I do like a bill like it. Hey good thought of my god
[01:01:23] He judge I'm chasing him. He starts running and the suit gets caught and rips off the bottom and says penis and ass are hanging out
[01:01:33] Back in the ears and then the tail is still intact
[01:01:38] Is he runs run that little dick and big fat balls. It's so cute running full speed
[01:01:46] He's surprisingly fast. He's fat. How fast is that that I quote?
[01:01:53] Momma loved the trash and he loved uh playing the lottery and buying birds
[01:02:00] Folks it's that time again. Yep, I was go back to your own life. That's right
[01:02:04] That was another episode of come town and look check out come.town for shirts
[01:02:09] Go to stobby.biz for other shirts and there you go