Cum Town | Regular | 09/02/2020
[00:00:00] I'm a woman. Yeah, so we're just gonna my mother and dick small
[00:00:10] Old the old way we used to do it just the old style old
[00:00:19] I have to ask where is the bathroom. Can I go to the bathroom?
[00:00:23] Is there any way that you could go to the bathroom into my penis? I
[00:00:28] Have a quick question for the doctor excuse me doctor
[00:00:35] My penis I if I hold it open can you piece good afternoon? You're watching inside the Iranian access
[00:00:59] And James Lipton aminion we are discussing he runs latest movie about a man who
[00:01:12] She has become sexualized one way or another in some way that violates his deeply conservative
[00:01:24] Deeply held conservative values and so we are going to see as seen from the painted house
[00:01:38] Yeah, we are here with the man with the gasa
[00:01:44] I'm an American film critic Jewish man interrupting. Yeah, I'm a Jewish American film critic
[00:01:50] And I think the painted house is one of the most important. So let's go ahead and see
[00:02:00] This the whatever this you must tell me
[00:02:21] The repist is done sperm into your wife's pussy and now her pussy is is to make a baby
[00:02:30] Fair make it is making a baby with a sperm from the repist
[00:02:42] Do I tell the police because they will put my wife in jail
[00:02:49] And then I will no longer be able to kiss her father on the lips
[00:02:57] I need to kiss him on the lips so I can have a job at his construction company
[00:03:01] I'm trying to be a businessman and his construction company
[00:03:07] But if he finds out that I allowed his daughter to cheat on me with a rapist
[00:03:14] He will no longer kiss me on the lips and meetings and I will lose respect of the other businessman
[00:03:20] Holy shit, I missed a mirror. Sharm your your penis is hard. I was looking at a girl. Not you
[00:03:34] Unfortunately, I have to tell the police that you are looking at me and your penis we can
[00:03:43] Holy fuck sounds like a good film. Yeah, yeah, that's good that was just seen from the pentatos
[00:04:01] I've never seen an Iranian film, but from what I understand they got it from listening to YouTube talk about them
[00:04:07] It seems like that's what everyone over there about dilemmas
[00:04:10] That's yeah, I'm not sure every single one of them and about societies like
[00:04:14] backwards values kind of coming down on a
[00:04:18] An individual that's trying to make a decision
[00:04:25] Mm-hmm some of it a lot of there are others that aren't like that, but I'll Nick got it pretty much spot on that's
[00:04:33] Everyone's cuz Iranian girls are hotter than everyone's man visit his cousin
[00:04:37] This is a dependent house is a follow-up to the director's last picture in which a man
[00:04:46] deeply conservative background visits his cousin who has spent four months living in America
[00:04:56] His mustache is now shaved what and he has he's wearing a blue shirt
[00:05:02] And he uses the bathroom and his cousin's house and then he has to wipe his ass and
[00:05:12] They he does and later he sees the brand of toilet paper is a
[00:05:25] Oh wow, and he believes that he has wiped his anus with a man's semen and
[00:05:32] He does not know whether to tell the police
[00:05:40] And he spends a very and he beats his wife because he has so much stress and she is thinking of leaving him to go to America
[00:05:48] But then he explains that he has put semen in his ass
[00:05:52] And she starts and she says that he has to go to the police and he goes to the police and he is
[00:05:59] Getting ready to kill himself in the jail cell. So his family will get
[00:06:08] From his father-in-law who he has been kissing on the lips
[00:06:12] And holding hands with us so that part is kind of a motif and the police they say we have investigated it and
[00:06:26] It's made out of bears and not made out of bears and not
[00:06:31] I remember someone who showed us a top secret
[00:06:34] From Charman we have done it to an investigation that has bankrupted the police
[00:06:47] Another lead detective has had to have gone dates with men
[00:06:52] Whoa to save the police department because we could not do a bake sale
[00:06:57] And now he has to turn himself into internal affairs for kissing
[00:07:03] Being gay to support the police he got into deep
[00:07:07] It's a classic cruising situation. I actually I think that's what Serpico is based off of
[00:07:18] Serpico doesn't suck I didn't like that movie. I saw when I was like 12 and I was like I think I saw twice when I was younger
[00:07:25] And then we're older movie. It's it's called choosing and it's like cruising, but the point is is that it's a choice to be gay
[00:07:33] These guys are choosing that right so I've used to watch cruising. I will I
[00:07:39] Had now that you're on an Odyssey of film discovery. Well, I will be recovering from oral surgery
[00:07:46] Tomorrow, I know end of an era big announcement guys
[00:07:49] So I will have I will be watching finally as promised along good Friday
[00:07:54] Mm-hmm during my recovery and then maybe I'll do a double feature with cruising
[00:07:59] Are they giving you you're gonna have mad pills?
[00:08:01] I don't know how fucked up my mouth is gonna be because I feel like they've already done all this stuff
[00:08:06] Like they put a bone graft in that sucked dick
[00:08:09] They fucking put the screw screwed the something into the bone graft that sucked now
[00:08:14] I feel like they're just gonna fucking pop it on pop a tooth into my mouth
[00:08:17] Luit excuse me so funny when they finally get that one in and then the tooth next to it falls out
[00:08:24] Well, we're gonna have to do a bone graft. That would be awesome dude. I would honestly be fucking pumped
[00:08:28] I'm a little bit sad dude. I'm very sad. Well, it's not up to you, dude
[00:08:33] I'm not saying it's I don't know why I did it. Fuck this dude. I'm fucking stupid
[00:08:37] I was gonna have no tooth for the rest of my life. Yeah, you already figured out how to talk
[00:08:41] That's the main hurdle. I got and now my bite has changed. Yeah, so
[00:08:45] They had to like curve the tooth forward for it to fit in my mouth. Hmm when I couldn't get a gold one
[00:08:51] I was gonna get a gold one, but they were like this shape. We can't do it. We can't get a cap on it
[00:08:55] Wow, so now I have to get him a regular tooth like a fucking asshole
[00:09:00] But that was it folks. I'm not gonna be toothless the next time you hear me on this podcast
[00:09:10] because I'm the fake tooth the phantom the
[00:09:26] Touching man's penis. There is and he goes his tooth is missing and he's looking for it
[00:09:31] And he accidentally goes into the wrong bathroom
[00:09:35] And everyone thinks he's a woman. Oh shit
[00:09:44] For being or he could just live as a woman and then he decides to live as a woman. Yes
[00:09:56] I saw I remember it was like a day line NBC. You're kind of cut out the middleman there
[00:10:01] 2020 or something when I was like young I was watching with my dad and
[00:10:05] It was like an Iranian guy living in Texas
[00:10:08] And he lost his kids because that his daughter's gymnastics like
[00:10:12] Like him and his like brother were kissing each other and he was like
[00:10:16] Kissing his daughter too much and then they reported the family to child service
[00:10:21] Because like and he was trying to say like in Iranian culture like physical affection between yeah
[00:10:27] People is more common and then they sent them to like live with a foster family and then you see the kids like
[00:10:32] They had like Jesus saves shirts on and stuff. Yeah, my dad got so upset fuck
[00:10:39] Yeah, you think they got molested by the Jesus freaks. I have no idea
[00:10:44] Well, they were they were saying that he was it molesting his daughter because he was like holding her too much and kissing her after gymnastics
[00:10:51] Dude, I used to get smooched all over the place
[00:10:54] There's a video of my grandma kissing my brother's balls as a baby really that's just affection my dog licked my penis yesterday
[00:11:07] That doesn't happen by accident. What do you mean?
[00:11:14] Organically you saw it coming and you did nothing
[00:11:17] You thought I did let her lick it a second time you put up you put a trail of bone broth from her bowl
[00:11:22] Yeah, that's not true. I didn't know there were no additives no chance. Did your dog
[00:11:30] Lick your penis. You saw it happening and you allowed it to happen. I didn't see it
[00:11:36] What were you doing? Were you distracting? No, I was doing a little joke
[00:11:40] Yeah, we're getting your dick sucked by your dog. No, it's fucking no sexually molested your dog. No where
[00:11:47] This is no my girlfriend was on her phone and I did a little joke where when she turned around
[00:11:53] I was naked and then it's just so happened that when I
[00:11:56] That my dog licked my penis in the process of doing that joke
[00:12:00] So you were hyper aware that you of your penis I knew my penis was out, but I didn't know that my dog was gonna lick it
[00:12:06] I'm kind of I was on team Adam at the beginning of this, but now I'm on team Nick. No, you made your dog suck your cock
[00:12:12] No, I'm an investigator. I know right away. I
[00:12:18] Those years training with the Iranian police. I closed these cases in Tuesday
[00:12:22] No, this is not a case first of all that what the case is first you're on you're on trial here buckle
[00:12:28] We could go to the police on trial. This is B. Ciality. It's not B. Ciality
[00:12:32] It was one lick and I then I kicked the dog as B. Ciality
[00:12:36] Let me see if it's legal. Yes, I did on purpose of my dog would lick the head of my penis B. Ciality punishment
[00:12:47] It's too late to not begin. There's no way that that did not happen without your entire consent in possible direction
[00:12:55] Okay, I would look what are the points? How about the one about Adam making his dog look at I didn't make my dog lick my penis
[00:13:05] In in Pennsylvania, it's a second degree misdemeanor two years in jail and a five thousand dollar maximum
[00:13:11] Not going to jail. Adam's like five thousand dollars
[00:13:17] Well, you can lock me up the rest of my life punishment is death
[00:13:29] In addition just popping the dog's cock out of his mouth
[00:13:36] These are usually associated with a cruelty to animals charge and the court will often require
[00:13:44] extensive counseling as part of any sentence. Mm-hmm. So I hope you're ready for that Adam. So was a big deal. I fucked a dog
[00:13:57] Oh, what makes me feel alive. I can't hear anything there we go
[00:14:01] Mmm. Did you ever see right in the middle of I was getting fired up on that riff. Did you ever see your your mother fuck a dog Tony?
[00:14:21] Tony she was doing a little joke. She didn't mean for the dog to lick a pussy Tony. It's a be John freeze
[00:14:27] I'm just saying shut the fuck up Chrissy
[00:14:30] It's not a big deal everybody gets the cock lick by a dog every dog basically looks like a hook
[00:14:42] Let me see my polys more like never tell you about the time I fucked 15 dog I fucked 101 down
[00:14:50] Dalmatians that's how you step that's how you stuff to make a suit
[00:14:55] Tell you about that tea. Hey, dude. You hear what I said. I said I fucked 101 Dalmatians
[00:15:07] So how you guys doing hosiery weekend bad psyche was good, but my back hurts and I'm fat as shit
[00:15:14] We're gonna get sob fit pretty soon. I'm gonna I'm gonna check into fat camp. Yeah, we're getting them a wee fit
[00:15:20] I'm gonna lose my way. I saw you lose my wee bowling. It was so funny that they people thought that would be like
[00:15:31] Yeah, I thought doing the same amount of exercises I was already doing taking forks out of the drawer
[00:15:38] But it's the repeated most you do it at least you know 30 time you have to stand up well you do that
[00:15:44] I did you you know you get like a spoon out you're like I'm just a one spoonful
[00:15:48] I put it on the kitchen counter sink done and then you're like all right. Well now you go through all your spoons in a day
[00:15:55] Trying to limit yourself because the spoon touch the sink. No, here's what I do what I do. Yeah, I put a little a piece of
[00:16:09] I eat a little bit and I put it on the towel
[00:16:11] But I go sit back on the couch and that way I at least if I'm going to have a whole pint
[00:16:17] I'm going to get up and I'm gonna earn it. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna get at least I would say throughout the course of you know
[00:16:27] 73 steps that's the ticket. Here's here's you missus Robinson. I'm getting into catch phrases
[00:16:34] Suck me off. Mrs. Robinson. Here's do you missus Robbins?
[00:16:41] That's a good one it is because it's fresh I've been trying that out on people
[00:16:45] They've been looking at me weird at the bow dagger. Mm-hmm. I'll be like
[00:16:50] Cream cheese everything bagel cream cheese. Well, here's to you. Mrs. Robinson
[00:16:58] They've been having a you having a brain damage or something you don't bring damage again. Hey, you got fucking brain damage
[00:17:04] You can't puppy you know how you can not have stroke in here, but hey, I sold you can't have fucking you can have a stroke in here
[00:17:11] You cannot come in here and have brain damage. I'm talking about that's a half men again
[00:17:16] Don't deny we know we've seen the movie everybody seen the movie
[00:17:20] It's not your catchphrase you can't just say
[00:17:29] Does not have the context it does not have a content for a movie. I'm here to say and
[00:17:34] And here's you get the fuck out of this door. Don't say it again
[00:17:38] This is Robinson. I'm calling the police
[00:17:43] Yeah, for what because there's a gay guy here
[00:17:47] We're not in Iran anymore. Yeah, even though you're clearly a demitting. I'm from Iran
[00:17:55] The way they're talking around it said different kind of a run
[00:18:03] You're thinking of the northern Iranian accent you are thinking of the
[00:18:10] Flavolas around that just make better boring movies
[00:18:23] Yeah, you guys ever seen that picture of Afghanistan like the 60s with the bit yeah, where it's very modern
[00:18:29] They were dressed like high heat for the Soviet invasion before the fucking Ruski's yeah
[00:18:34] Dead flying cars like no, it wasn't that naked chicks. Yeah, dude. They had a fucking
[00:18:40] They were giving out pussy left and right pussy-given robots the fuck I think it's just your headphones
[00:18:46] It is here you know, there's another set of headphones. No
[00:18:50] I'm sitting on them. No, it's the thing out unscrewed. Oh
[00:18:57] Those have gany bitches we're looking right in the 60 years to you mrs. Robinson
[00:19:08] Hey get out of my store. Hey, good. They forgot it is so
[00:19:15] That's a good cat you have a cat you can't say you have it there. I can't say whatever I want
[00:19:20] Now you know how annoying it is yeah, but I'll do
[00:19:26] That's it's the Fred Flintstone says that yeah, well you stole it from Joe DiMaggio
[00:19:43] You say here's the you mrs. Robinson the famous Georgia and as your cat friends
[00:19:49] Mm-hmm and performed with me when he retired from baseball because he got Joe DiMaggio disease
[00:20:02] I'll see you later. That's a different and here's do you mrs. Robinson I
[00:20:08] Watch the movie starring art guard forget it Marge. It's Chinatown
[00:20:20] I'm sorry. I mean you had something to say about that what Nick just said no, it's just reminded me of Simon and Garfunkel
[00:20:26] I watched really it sounded like you were gonna tell him he's thinking of a different ballplayer. Oh, no, no, no, no
[00:20:32] No, I did not say that. I was paying attention to the bit. She was clear. I know what he was doing
[00:20:40] I've been in this interrupting Nick game
[00:20:48] Next discuss that's actually a different that you're thinking of the wrong guy. No, you're doing your voice when you get your new teeth
[00:21:04] I'm bugging loves big and Las Vegas and I come with those
[00:21:11] You know, I only talk about the talk like that when I'm I've been
[00:21:15] Wait, I thought I was in Iran and not New York
[00:21:20] New York City New York City the city that always
[00:21:23] Wastelen dude people's perception of what New York is so right now inside my cousin. He's like I heard it's like the 80s there
[00:21:31] It's exactly the fucking same except now your restaurant is outdoors. Yeah, I thought I was in Manhattan
[00:21:38] Last week and there were a lot of hobos
[00:21:41] With some bitch tweeted that she's like I'm sorry
[00:21:44] But girls are leaving New York cuz the things that we loved about this place the museums the stunning dinners or whatever
[00:21:50] It's like stunning the stunning dinners. That's great. It's like who the fuck is going to museum
[00:21:56] It's nice knowing that I could go to the museum. I go a museum twice a year
[00:21:59] Mm-hmm. If that yeah, you know, it's nice to be able to say you know what I should do is go to the zoo
[00:22:06] We're right right and then you don't yeah, and then to be fair that is taken from you
[00:22:12] They need to say that be able to say you know what I should do. Yeah
[00:22:16] So now you have to buy, you know criteria movies to make your own museum in fact
[00:22:20] This is more in New York now than ever because you can tell people to fucking leave true and that that feels good
[00:22:26] I do feel like I'm telling people they don't belong here get out you fucking loser
[00:22:31] That's what makes any place a place. Yes telling people to fuck off. Yes
[00:22:36] 100% it's not stunning dinners and being able to go see an illustration of an innuet
[00:22:43] Yeah, sorry you can't watch fucking Broadway plays snooze. I remember I was at some museum
[00:22:48] I think it was in DC. I can't remember where it was
[00:22:50] But they had like mannequins of like natives or something and there was like one guy like crouching and they just gave them like
[00:23:09] Down to the ground that's pretty cool. I remember being like fucking 10 being like nice
[00:23:16] Like look we took sorry about the trail of tears, but your mannequins are gonna be fucking at the close the museum because some
[00:23:23] Iranian guy came by and started sucking
[00:23:27] Yeah, there's like glass cutters. I'm from ice movies, right? I'm trying to learn. I'm trying to be like
[00:23:39] Who I think is it art thief? Yeah, yeah, yes to get around lasers. Yes, I was
[00:23:46] Breaking into the museum shark is stuck on that penis conference. I should tell
[00:23:54] Poster tube that he like pulls out of a safe and he like pulls the cock out of it
[00:24:00] Like what what is this? He's like I stole it from the museum
[00:24:03] It's the biggest penis I've ever seen in a museum. Oh
[00:24:10] It's made out of rubies or something this should be worth million
[00:24:28] It looks like there's teeth marks all around the asshole and legs
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[00:31:16] Remember that that's a good tag of lines. This michael dut was here
[00:31:20] For he actually is he's doing like for marky marky. Yeah, that's the right guy
[00:31:27] It's sexy. Mm-hmm when Ed first laid me down on it
[00:31:39] Yes, are you ready to stop Donald Trump in any?
[00:31:43] Sexual you think michael Douglas fucked like somebody the Kennedy fucked and this is his revenge
[00:31:51] How old would Kennedy be if he was alive?
[00:31:53] Oh the original Kennedy? Yeah, pretty old probably
[00:31:59] 1961 how old was michael Douglas in 1961 probably like in his 20s
[00:32:05] Yeah, probably I don't know so they might have fucked the same bitch and now he's now he's getting it back at him
[00:32:11] Mm-hmm by saying fuck your gay ass little redheaded child grandchild. They both fucked Maryland Monroe. I would have loved to
[00:32:21] I would have loved to get in that sloppy Maryland Monroe good. She could she
[00:32:27] Yeah, she was she was one hot lady. That's it. Mateo get new teeth
[00:32:32] I don't think so. I'm gonna Instagram. He's got like it looks like he's either got his teeth whitened or you have veneers
[00:32:38] No, he's just gay guys are good at smiling dude. Yeah and hygiene
[00:32:46] You drink 10 cups of coffee. Yeah drink a lot of coffee
[00:32:52] Honestly a lot of people think friends of like why have one friend in particular that everyone thinks is gay just because he smiles
[00:32:58] Mm-hmm. Just a nice guy. That's why I've been smelting you. Here's the thing. I don't smile and everyone thinks I'm retarded
[00:33:03] Yeah, that's it. You got a different set of issues going on
[00:33:13] What kind of world is this small too much don't smile enough?
[00:33:16] Yeah, the only way to prove you're not gay is to just do the two fingers with the tongue between apps
[00:33:21] That's why I do it all the time the pussy eating symbol. That's how I take my senior portraits
[00:33:30] Um, I saw Jurassic Park for the first time the original it's pretty good
[00:33:41] I can't wait to bring my my black daughter
[00:33:59] Give one of the dinosaurs a human pussy. It's interesting. I don't know why I'm on this trip
[00:34:07] My I'm a professor of dinosaur sexuality
[00:34:15] And they brought me along to see if I could create some lingerie
[00:34:19] Yeah, they made them all women so they couldn't get get cock. Yeah, it's fucked up
[00:34:31] Why wouldn't they just kill the raptors?
[00:34:33] Why would you just make it a park full of peaceful the little like the cup on the dashboard that they're like looking at the water
[00:34:39] And they're just like watching it to see where the dinosaur is and then jeff goblems like slipping a roofie
[00:34:57] Look at the list. Oh, we could have to rape our way out. Yeah, perhaps we could rape
[00:35:07] I was like well that would take thousands of those pills. He's like, oh, I
[00:35:17] Wait, he is that black daughter that doesn't he I thought he did in the sequel maybe maybe the sequel he's got a black daughter that doesn't gymnastics
[00:35:25] How how cool is the uh the new men face holiday?
[00:35:29] Awesome when he's on the toilet pretty cool, right? Newman great casting. This is not the only like movie. He's done basically Newman
[00:35:37] No, he was in a bunch of movies name one other one. Wasn't he in JFK?
[00:35:43] Yes, he was I haven't seen I'm pretty sure he was I watched it recently
[00:35:49] What else I don't know he's Wayne Knight has definitely been in I don't think he has dude. He's a professional actor
[00:35:55] Yeah before he's eaten off sign feel Adam identifies with that guy. No, I think
[00:36:01] I why because he's he looks more like you than he looks like stuff
[00:36:06] I don't know you guys have the same exact face. That's that's how you would look if you were fed
[00:36:11] Yeah, that's how you would look if you gained 15 and you see Adam you could never you could never carry this burden
[00:36:17] Something you're realizing right now. It would be so funny if Adam got some kind of gland disease and became a big back eye
[00:36:24] He couldn't yeah, no you couldn't dude. I couldn't I don't know
[00:36:29] You have to help me lose weight. That's Newman's backstory
[00:36:34] Six months prior to the show beginning right and then he had a gland issue and became a big fat guy
[00:36:43] Oh, it would wreck your life. It would destroy you wouldn't you would not be able to handle it at all being fat or bald
[00:36:48] I couldn't handle either you absolutely could not because the thing is girls will fuck
[00:36:52] Girls a brook will fuck skinny jewish guys. They will not fuck fat jewish guys. I
[00:36:59] Probably one fat jewish guy unless they have big beards. Yeah, you're also a big beard guy
[00:37:04] You're also like a beard you're a very lazy guy
[00:37:06] What do you mean like you would be like making up for it with like, you know work or anything
[00:37:17] No, you would watch movie you would be an intellectual
[00:37:19] You know what you could do you could become like a professor at the fat start wearing like a little scarf
[00:37:25] Yeah, I don't know. Fuck your students. He's a power imbalanced. Yeah, I only have a bachelor's degree
[00:37:30] People you could talk your way into some kind of gay school
[00:37:33] I can fuck start with gold loom do with that
[00:37:36] He's like a scientist. He's the guy who's like it's chaos
[00:37:43] Is he on the trip or does he work for the trip?
[00:37:45] He's one of the guys that they hire to like judge whether it's a good idea
[00:37:51] They hired jeff go he's like a marketing consultant. No, no, no. He's a scientist, but he's the one who's the math
[00:37:56] He's a mathematician. Yeah, he's talking about chaos and she's like they needed somebody to add up all the dinosaur
[00:38:12] Oh, that's honestly it wouldn't be a good idea if they just didn't have dangerous dinosaurs
[00:38:19] Why the fuck would you make danger because you needed to balance the population, right?
[00:38:23] So you need the dangerous one you don't it's all fake. You just shoot the fucking old fucker
[00:38:30] Uh-huh. They don't fucking have lions eat the fucking deer in the zoo
[00:38:34] No, it's more like uh, they feed the lion like some fuck a goat
[00:38:37] It's more like a safari park. That's it. Yeah, but I'm saying they feed the dinosaur goat in the movie. They do
[00:38:46] You they're too dangerous or more dangerous than you'll be because it's steven spielberg. It'd be funny if like
[00:38:52] It'd be cool if whoever was in charge of giving him money
[00:38:55] It was like they read your ass at park and they read shinless lists and they're like can we like double up on these?
[00:39:02] And just get we'll do we'll do a two for so we'll combine these scripts
[00:39:06] And the Nazis have dinosaurs and they're sending all the Jews to be eaten by dinosaurs
[00:39:16] And uh, and that's the movie we're gonna make that would be a cool movie and we'll put wil smith in there
[00:39:31] Oh, he says it wrong because he's black. All right
[00:39:36] He doesn't do he doesn't say the word right. Oh god. Don't even know how to speak this fucking black
[00:39:50] Surround how to do sentence about sure. You fucking black piece fucking black asshole
[00:40:03] Why don't you try my job collecting disability
[00:40:08] Oh fuck. Oh, yeah, uh, we give the dinosaurs a hand job
[00:40:20] All the dinosaurs are girls just pretty fucked up. Why wouldn't they just neuter them?
[00:40:25] Because in some species men and the male and female look much different some birds
[00:40:30] The women are big as shit and the guys are little guys to just get pussy
[00:40:33] The guys have like uh sexy plumage to attract the women and they have to learn dances
[00:40:38] Because because that way they tell them they're not as good. Mm-hmm. Yeah
[00:40:41] He does is a guacine in Jurassic Park where like jeff gulpin has to shoot one of the velociraptors
[00:40:48] And like have you ever even fired a gun before if you ever killed anything? He's like no, but I uh
[00:40:59] He's like much more disgusting. He's looking at the camera. They're like, yeah jeff uh
[00:41:04] Very fun. Very very funny, but we're gonna go let's try it a couple times with just the actual lines in script
[00:41:11] Glen close doesn't exist in the Jurassic Park universe. It's a good line, but you're dr. Ian malcom
[00:41:19] Not jeff goldblum. I heard of this actor
[00:41:26] Preemptively contacted us as soon as we cast the movie
[00:41:32] Demand that you are not allowed to mention her in fact they do it on every production you're involved
[00:41:41] After what was that the bug what movie was the end the fly after after you mentioned it in the fly
[00:41:47] Mm-hmm after he turns into a fly. It's like i'm still not as gross as glen close as pussy
[00:41:51] Mm-hmm. That may have been before the big chill. No, not not in the one we made. Yeah, Adam. I'm sorry
[00:42:06] So smoking high quality CBD if you like having sex
[00:42:13] Oh cushy dream you'll love having sex with cushy dreams cushy does sound like pussy dreams
[00:42:22] It's close. I think we said that last time that you get pussy in your dreams. Oh, right. Yes. That did tickle me that idea
[00:42:35] Yeah, I honestly would do that you smoke
[00:42:42] Smile on your face knowing you're about to get pussy dreams. Yeah, that would honestly
[00:42:46] I could buy a little rape in your dream. You guys got why don't you pull that up real quick? Well, sure well, listen man
[00:42:52] I can't find it. There's nothing to pull up
[00:42:55] There's just a love and appreciation for our good friends over at cushy dreams dot com that have some of the finest
[00:43:04] Mm-hmm CBD in the fucking nation. Yeah. Yeah, I have that problem when I'm smoking weed that
[00:43:10] I want to migrant labor it to be picking it with his hand. It's not it's art. It's an artisan approach Adam
[00:43:15] Oh, okay, you know that it's and each fucking piece of fake weed that you smoke is cured
[00:43:22] For a long time. Oh, so it tastes good. Yeah
[00:43:29] I personally love smoking cushy dreams. I love smoking the fucking
[00:43:33] CBD that they have I adore it because look it tastes like high quality marijuana
[00:43:39] It smells like it. It feels like it and it is but it just doesn't have no T. E psycho active effects
[00:43:46] It doesn't get you high, baby. Well, it gets you a different doesn't get you high
[00:43:51] And it's perfect if you want to start smoking some other stuff
[00:43:55] You know, if you ever wanted to smoke clove cigarettes with a little CBD in it. Oh, that sounds like a dream
[00:44:00] To me go go fucking break open a close cigarette and mix it up with a little
[00:44:06] Beautiful CBD from our friends at cushy dreams calm. I'm trying to stop smoking cherry flavored pink cigarettes
[00:44:13] That's right. Yeah, and that's what's helping you fucking and so I started with the cushy dreams and it completely sent me straight
[00:44:23] Sexual male heterosexual if depending on the and here's the thing they have a lot of different blends
[00:44:28] They have hustle and energy for the morning. Mm-hmm or if you want to be straight
[00:44:33] They have a dream and fucking another one
[00:44:37] Night time. Yeah, or some shit if you want to go to sleep and be gay
[00:44:42] And I've been doing those recently. Yep, and I go right to bed and I think about having gay sex
[00:44:49] And uh, and it's the weed that's doing it not
[00:44:52] It's not my mind. Yeah, that's the important thing to remember. That's yeah, you let's be clear there
[00:44:58] It's the it's the sea the high quality CBD from our friends over at cushy dreams calm
[00:45:05] Uh, and look you want a pre-roll guess what? I know you're thinking you're like, oh my my fingers are too saturated with pussy juice
[00:45:13] Right roll my own joint. Yeah. Well cushy dreams got you bro because they sell their CBD and beautiful pre-rolls
[00:45:22] Mm-hmm, which have about a gram of fucking CBD
[00:45:26] Uh, or if your hands are dry and don't have pussy juice on them you can get a you can get an eight and eight
[00:45:32] 3.5 grams and guess what folks they delivered to all 50 states. That's also that's including our friends over in Hawaii
[00:45:43] So and it's legal there's a little notice that's that comes with the cushy dream that says hello police
[00:45:50] Look no further. This is police. This is legal
[00:45:58] It's worth buying the cushy dreams for that. Mm-hmm and then selling weed afterwards. Yeah, just putting actual weed inside of
[00:46:05] Just good for people who are trying to quit other things. Yeah, we said that
[00:46:11] So listen if you want to smoke your CBD because you can because it's right cushy dreams.com k ush
[00:46:19] He's promo code come town for 20 percent off your first wow
[00:46:24] Come town come town. Don't forget it. Don't forget you're your fucking piece of shit. Don't forget it. The uh,
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[00:46:36] You guys said yeah, we're good. I guess we should have some kind of riff that we do
[00:46:41] Uh, we got some stuff out there. Well, you're like riff in the middle of the yeah
[00:46:46] You know because that's what people like that's what they they they listen to the ads because they're like, what's this?
[00:46:51] What's this one? It's fucking we can't skip over mario and ready is smoking
[00:46:56] CB what would that be like the race car guy?
[00:47:00] I can't I'm not high but I'm fucked up. I can't race. I forgot what I was. I thought I was mario balotelli
[00:47:07] Now I'm gonna do I thought I'm gonna rape and crocs black race car driver
[00:47:14] And I'm about to um, I can't drive right because I refuse to pull my pants mario batali mario batali
[00:47:20] Yeah, I'll tell you the soccer guy the me too the me too chef. That's right. Yeah. I got so high off kushy dreams
[00:47:28] I thought I was mario batali I smoke so much cbd oil. I molested a woman
[00:47:34] I molested one of the ladies in my crew and I went to kushy dreams calm
[00:47:40] I took her upstairs to the rape room promo code come town bam
[00:47:44] Bam bam tough active today. You're gonna love the way you're gonna love you're gonna love being raped
[00:47:53] That's one of the risks why people pay us to advertise their product. They like that stuff
[00:48:10] I'm kushy dreams dot com john man here and a lot of people think i'm fucked up off kushy dreams
[00:48:17] They're actually having a diabetic stroke
[00:48:28] But you're fucking dick is small too my dick is small
[00:48:32] I'm going to the hospital now you're chinese. I'm going to the hospital because my dick is small
[00:48:37] And by the way to be clear you're not chinese because you're diggous moly
[00:48:41] It just happened to also turn chinese that would be a funny move to have a small dick
[00:48:45] And like you pull it out. You're like oh my god. No something's wrong
[00:48:53] Let's fuck real quick. Let me just get this nut off though fast
[00:49:00] Straight to the emergency room you make her drive you to the emergency room. Yeah, like wait wait
[00:49:11] Hold on I could be there for our over days
[00:49:15] Just eating the big beer for the emergency room
[00:49:17] With your pants on your ankles. Yeah, my dick's usually a lot bigger than this
[00:49:21] Huge something happened. Yeah, we just fucked so she told me
[00:49:25] I fucked this bitch. She got me checker. Yes. So we're gay. She's my girlfriend now
[00:49:29] So anyway though that I gotta clear this up with the doctor. We're getting
[00:49:36] This keeps happening. Do not look at my onion rings
[00:49:44] The motherfucking big beer for my fucking small but usually bigger penises up here
[00:49:51] Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying my dick is big
[00:49:54] But it's bigger than this usually it's usually
[00:49:57] And I'm like this and I'm going to the fucking doctors because of it. Yeah, I got an appointment
[00:50:04] You're like, all right. You can drop me off here
[00:50:11] Your pictures in the emergency room like don't let this man in
[00:50:25] Goddamn it Larry. Mm-hmm. Stop. How do you keep getting these girls to drive you here with checkers?
[00:50:32] It's you're just keep getting fatter Larry real quick. Let me get a big beer for
[00:50:41] Why are you shushing me just shut up and drive the stop by the checkers?
[00:50:44] Just real fast. Oh, I already called it in shh. Here comes checkers
[00:50:54] Pull it real quick to your legs bitch. I did it on door dash chip all the real quick to the checkers
[00:50:59] I hit pickup. Why are you whispering keep your motherfucking
[00:51:02] I ain't trying to have nobody here your ass
[00:51:10] We're in my car shut the fuck up. Oh, just pull into the checkers
[00:51:15] What's that shit we're doing like you've been you know better bring her that bitch around mr. Steel you girl
[00:51:21] Excuse me. Shut up shut up shut up. Nobody's talking to you. I'm talking your bitch
[00:51:27] I was talking you bitch. That's right. I have no better bring this bitch around a Mac like me
[00:51:35] It's like excuse me shut up shut up bitch. I'm talking to your man. Ain't nobody's
[00:51:53] Ooh a classic a classic pushy dreams calm
[00:51:59] Coomtown coomtown also my bookie that a G promo code com town promising we think
[00:52:09] You know, I don't miss anything anymore. I'm getting the crepes
[00:52:12] Those crepes I have about myself classic Japanese at the department store
[00:52:16] I don't remember this. I went back multiples. I found a good ass little crepes
[00:52:21] They have really good food in department stores. I fuck with their department stores
[00:52:25] Yeah in the basement the basement is the candy section. Yeah, it's really like a whole thing. It's like a jc
[00:52:30] Panies is just different kit cats. That's all. Oh, yeah, dude. I love their varieties of kit cats
[00:52:35] Yeah, they're obsessed with they're ahead of us majorly in terms of kitchen technology women dress like little boys that have to hand you candy
[00:52:42] Yeah, fuck. Can we get married Japanese women and leave america?
[00:52:46] Yeah, if you're a Japanese bitch and you're trying to get married to somebody
[00:52:53] Japanese porn star that's ready to retire and you have those big ass tits. Yeah
[00:52:57] Call in now. I promise we will keep your pussy censored. Mm-hmm. All you got to do is a little quick dowry trip to checkers
[00:53:07] Spend all your fucking family's money. Okay, nagaru to be very quiet
[00:53:18] Why are you Jamaican because I don't know
[00:53:22] Here come the checkers here come to checkers. Come to check us. Yeah, you come to checkers
[00:53:33] Zoom checkers in Jamaica there. We saw the zoom zoom ad and we thought it was the best commercial
[00:53:55] Fasten your luck goes to checkers. Um, did you guys see it Dell dressed Jamaican?
[00:54:03] She dressed Jamaican. I think bandu knots on her shit
[00:54:07] Yeah, and then black people got mad and African people were like shut up black people
[00:54:13] That's a classic battle. I think she fucked scepter
[00:54:16] Yeah, she's and now she's appropriating. Well, he's Nigerian
[00:54:20] I was at the hand. They'll not fat anymore. No, she lost the way. She looks like katie perry now
[00:54:27] katie perry is much fatter titties. Look man. I said it before I cannot tell the difference between white women
[00:54:35] Player I'm telling white girls. I cannot I cannot tell this is a white guy a wigger that can't tell the difference
[00:54:42] White people I got general face blindness also. Yeah
[00:54:46] But when it comes to white bitches, dude white it applies as well white people. I cannot tell the difference
[00:54:55] I'm telling you the colors red and orange. I cannot be telling them. Yeah, I got red green colored blindness
[00:55:02] Two years ago a miter saw fell on my head from three stories up
[00:55:07] So that could be a contributing fact that started talking like I was Irish before this
[00:55:30] White bitches do be looking alike though. They'd be I agree dude looking the same
[00:55:35] They do have have you guys seen that picture with this like eight margo robbie type bitches now
[00:55:39] In hollywood or in general. He's that girl that was in that movie knock knock or whatever
[00:55:45] I don't see it or something beep beep. I don't know. Maybe wasn't called knock knock beep beep
[00:55:57] It was something where her husband is like their family sold their soul to the devil. Oh, that sounds like a movie
[00:56:03] It sounds metal. It was gone as a good badass. I saw it in an Oakland
[00:56:08] And an earth cool theater. Yeah, that had like a little piano. It was awesome. Damn. I can't work to go to the movies gear
[00:56:21] To murvey go see a murvey at the party told him I got real scored at the murvey. Yeah
[00:56:27] That movie boosh scurrer me. I got scarred. I want to do acupuncture. Do you there's a place right around the corner?
[00:56:33] Yeah, they take uh insurance apparently not that any of us have insurance
[00:56:42] What so that's so spine thing is fucking great, but it's like I want somebody else to do it
[00:56:49] Too lazy to lay down on the floor. Mm-hmm. I want to go. Yeah, dude
[00:56:53] I went to a happy ending acupuncture place
[00:56:56] They put a needle in your dig they put a lot of needles in my day
[00:57:00] They put so many needles in your yeah, it just starts coming getting acupuncture and just turning over for the happy end
[00:57:11] Bet you they could stick a needle somewhere in your balls that would make you come so fast. Yeah immediately. That would be awesome
[00:57:18] Yeah, like probably right in the middle your balls near your ash. Oh god. That sounds so cool
[00:57:24] Does dude, I can either well it's like what do they say nerve endings are in the bottoms of your feet
[00:57:28] They stick one in like you're the ball of your foot. You just start blasting the awe swerve
[00:57:35] That would be fucking tight for real. Mm-hmm
[00:57:40] Is acupuncture really a suck it's no it's fake right chinese chinese magic, but I guess people say they feel good. Mm-hmm
[00:57:49] What about jeff goldbloom the fly, but he turns into a chinese guy
[00:57:54] Now that's the the fly advice. That's not bad. That's not bad, right?
[00:58:00] He would have a marie turn into fried rice
[00:58:03] No, it's turn into for anthropomorphic fried rice that talks chinese. No, he just turns into a chinese woman. You just turn into a chinese lady
[00:58:13] There's something there. Yeah, it's got it's got we should be hot
[00:58:16] Um or like an old bag lady that like picks up
[00:58:24] Uh, well the problem is he thinks that they all look the same. So yeah, so he checks his racism
[00:58:30] Oh, and he said listen does he die at the end of the flight or remember? I actually never saw it as a baby
[00:58:35] No, you saw it as a baby. Well, you know six or seven. Yeah, that's baby
[00:58:45] I know you mean because you said that and i'm like get me too
[00:58:55] Because you know what because sometimes you it's like a it's just on tv. Yeah, you're
[00:59:00] You unsupervised the way a baby is unsupervised. Yeah, uh, we're on the same way, but i wasn't actively watching it
[00:59:07] We speak a different language. That's right. Mm-hmm, but you understand each other
[00:59:12] Mm-hmm. That's that's a close. That's what we'll call. That's what you call. Here's do you missus robin?
[00:59:19] Hey, that's a classic here's dia. Hey, and here's do you missus robin?
[00:59:24] That's a movie. I also haven't seen but people say it's good the graduate. Yeah, one of the greatest movies of all time
[00:59:29] Really? No, I mean, it's good. It's pretty good
[00:59:33] Dustin Hoffman fucks it. Um, I don't know if uh melanda get any pussy this summer
[00:59:42] Well, he gets it from the mom and the daughter
[00:59:46] Mrs. Robinson. I really don't know if I should be getting old pussy
[00:59:50] What if what if your husband finds out that my young penis has been in room?
[00:59:55] Damn, is he cucking the daughter with the mom or is it one after the other?
[00:59:59] Both both. Yeah, and then here it should be called used to you Dustin Hoffman. Mm-hmm. That's what the song is
[01:00:09] Oh dawson, oh pussy from an old bitch and a young one too. I'm Ryan
[01:00:23] Dustin Hoffman is a fucking ledge. It's me dawson
[01:00:27] Getting top and I'm gay from two whores. I'm gay Dustin Hoffman and I'm gay Dustin Hoffman
[01:00:35] And I am Ryan shuddin. I'm so Ryan shudd from meet the parents and I'm a rock Obama
[01:01:02] That's baraka deniro is gay Ryan shudd pretty good
[01:01:12] Whoo, I think I need to go to the hospital. Yeah for what having a small day. No, yeah for shit
[01:01:22] We're all dying of covid. So goodbye everybody. We're slowly dying of covid