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Ep. 227 - Vote Him Out

Cum Town | Regular | 09/30/2020

[00:00:00] We should be good to go here.
[00:00:05] We're playing a dangerous game here.
[00:00:09] Playing fast and loose.
[00:00:11] SD card files.
[00:00:14] So you might not ever even hear this episode.
[00:00:15] We just recorded a banger.
[00:00:17] Oh, it was really good.
[00:00:18] And we need to make sure that every time we do that we lose it because we're dumbass.
[00:00:24] But this time we took some precautions.
[00:00:26] Yeah, we offloaded it, saved it on the SD card anyways.
[00:00:32] Maybe this will disappear.
[00:00:34] Nah, it'll be fine.
[00:00:35] Nah, it'll be good.
[00:00:36] It'll be sexually fine.
[00:00:38] No, it'll be good on my giga.
[00:00:40] Because we didn't format it, right?
[00:00:42] So it's fine.
[00:00:43] So my fucking dang again.
[00:00:45] Feel the rain on your day.
[00:00:47] Feel my, the size of my day.
[00:00:50] Feel my penis.
[00:00:51] Feel your butt.
[00:00:52] Ray Charles would actually feel women's penises to see how big their odds were.
[00:00:58] That's right.
[00:00:59] You would be like, oh, you cannot, may I plead, one of my in the fucking guitar seat here?
[00:01:04] You're sitting in a guitar.
[00:01:05] I'm sitting in a guitar.
[00:01:06] I'll move the guitar.
[00:01:07] Multiple guitars.
[00:01:08] I mean, what the hell is this guitar?
[00:01:10] What is this guitar center?
[00:01:12] Is this guitar center?
[00:01:15] You know, it's not because Adam's not trying to talk you down on the price of that guitar.
[00:01:18] I don't know what to tell you, man.
[00:01:20] It's fucking telly.
[00:01:22] I get paid $10 an hour.
[00:01:24] So can I please go home?
[00:01:26] I was so annoyed.
[00:01:29] We'll never live without that.
[00:01:32] It costs 200 bucks to get Jonathan Frakes to say, and how about the story about the Jewish
[00:01:37] guy guitar center?
[00:01:38] He's on camera.
[00:01:39] Easy?
[00:01:40] Yeah, I thought about doing it.
[00:01:42] But then I, it just, I was too lazy to click a couple.
[00:01:45] It was like, I'm gonna care to sign up.
[00:01:47] And then I did.
[00:01:48] And then my phone was like, do you want to switch to the app?
[00:01:51] I'm like, you know what?
[00:01:53] Fuck you.
[00:01:54] You know what, dude?
[00:01:55] I'm gonna go back to laying nude on the floor of my bedroom that I've thrown all the furniture
[00:02:00] out of and have no plans to replace.
[00:02:02] I do love that.
[00:02:03] Look, you're like your new setup.
[00:02:04] You're fucking living like a samurai.
[00:02:06] I am sparse.
[00:02:08] He's doing tea ceremonies alone.
[00:02:11] The no pussy zone.
[00:02:12] Mm hmm.
[00:02:13] Oh, that's right.
[00:02:14] I pull my dick out and then I put it like a bandana on and I open the window and the
[00:02:18] bandana or the, it blows in the wind.
[00:02:21] And like snake.
[00:02:23] And then with my own dick, I shove it into my ass like a ritual Japanese suicide.
[00:02:30] You're committing straight seppuku.
[00:02:32] Yeah.
[00:02:33] You're killing your straight pussy thirsting self.
[00:02:35] And now you live as a gay samurai alone.
[00:02:38] Yeah.
[00:02:39] A homo manana.
[00:02:40] A homo manana.
[00:02:41] A rope roaming the countryside.
[00:02:43] China's like guys all.
[00:02:44] What color is the bathroom at the McDonald's in here for sure?
[00:02:50] He had Sean Bean sweating.
[00:02:52] Yeah.
[00:02:53] I don't remember what the color of the bathroom is.
[00:02:56] But I promise I'm gay.
[00:02:59] Pull it out.
[00:03:00] Show me a penis.
[00:03:01] Show me a penis.
[00:03:02] Show me a penis.
[00:03:03] Let me see a penis now.
[00:03:04] What color is the black man's penis?
[00:03:07] It's purple.
[00:03:08] She was trick question.
[00:03:11] He was light skinned.
[00:03:12] There's different color.
[00:03:13] They got all different kind of colors.
[00:03:14] Yeah.
[00:03:15] They got a mocha.
[00:03:16] Yeah.
[00:03:17] Only some of them have cocks that look like the lips.
[00:03:20] You think if Robert DeNair was gay he'd like to fuck black men?
[00:03:24] Because he likes to fuck black women.
[00:03:27] Do you think there's some kind of question?
[00:03:30] It would be funny if he was gay just to hear what the president would have to say about
[00:03:33] him.
[00:03:34] Yep.
[00:03:35] Yeah.
[00:03:36] He got this guy.
[00:03:37] He's playing a mobster.
[00:03:38] Meanwhile he's sucking cocks.
[00:03:39] He's in his dressing room.
[00:03:41] And he's got this is true.
[00:03:42] They're on the set of good fellas.
[00:03:44] They had to stop filming because he's in his trailer and he's getting fucked in his
[00:03:48] trailer.
[00:03:51] This is true, folks.
[00:03:53] We've just like Al Qaeda has just blown up the freedom tower.
[00:03:58] He's like, Robert DeNair.
[00:04:02] This guy was sucking so much and they used to shoot on film.
[00:04:07] Thousands and thousands of dollars.
[00:04:08] Every time they have to say cut.
[00:04:10] Thousands of dollars they're wasting.
[00:04:11] So this guy, and look, that's your choice.
[00:04:14] That's your life.
[00:04:15] Those are your choices to make.
[00:04:16] Like, are you going to react to the terrorist attack?
[00:04:19] 3000 people have died.
[00:04:20] And he's down on his knees.
[00:04:22] That's a disgusting question.
[00:04:25] It's a disgusting question.
[00:04:26] You're a disgusting person.
[00:04:27] You should be fired and killed.
[00:04:29] And Robert DeNair, he would suck the cum out.
[00:04:33] This is true.
[00:04:34] I know it sounds bad.
[00:04:36] I'm not making it up, folks.
[00:04:39] He would keep the cum in his mouth and they'd say he would spit it all over the craft services
[00:04:42] table.
[00:04:43] Come on.
[00:04:44] That's for work and people.
[00:04:45] For me, that's too much.
[00:04:46] It's for working people.
[00:04:48] You know, the Democrats, they say they care about working people.
[00:04:51] Here's Robert DeNair, spitting cum all over the Caprice enzo.
[00:04:54] And electricians get to come by.
[00:04:58] He doesn't even have health insurance.
[00:05:00] He can barely figure out the straw and the fucking thing.
[00:05:04] And then he's got a bunch of cum in his face.
[00:05:06] From Robert DeNair, I was a little buff and I'm gay.
[00:05:09] Because Robert DeNair was gay.
[00:05:11] My second plane was at the towers.
[00:05:16] Undoubtedly one of the darkest moments in American history.
[00:05:18] We go live now to the president who's still talking about Robert DeNair being gay.
[00:05:22] I was just out of casino.
[00:05:25] A sad day in American industry.
[00:05:29] Oh, fuck, dude.
[00:05:32] Yeah.
[00:05:33] But I do wonder if there's some kind of mathematics.
[00:05:36] Like if you like to fuck Asian women, if you became gay, would you?
[00:05:41] I don't know.
[00:05:42] What do you fuck Asian men?
[00:05:44] Do you fuck?
[00:05:46] I don't know.
[00:05:47] Hispanic men?
[00:05:48] It's called the devil's prism for a reason.
[00:05:52] You know, you were a straight man that wanted to fuck Asian women and you became gay.
[00:05:58] Yeah.
[00:05:59] Then you would want to fuck little boys.
[00:06:02] Because in the gay community, children are the equivalent of Asian women.
[00:06:07] So you can sort of put my own.
[00:06:11] I'm not making a shot.
[00:06:14] I'm not making a shot.
[00:06:17] No, I'm telling you.
[00:06:18] This is really, really, really true.
[00:06:20] It's true.
[00:06:21] Billy Bush, she interviewed Robert DeNair saying to him, I used to like Asian women.
[00:06:27] I'd be tried out being gay.
[00:06:28] Now I fuck children.
[00:06:30] It's 100% true.
[00:06:33] You tell me, you tell me Anderson Cooper.
[00:06:38] Okay, Mr. President, we have to discuss the terrorist attack that's been committed in
[00:06:43] New York City.
[00:06:44] Al Qaeda is claiming responsibility.
[00:06:47] 50,000 people are dead.
[00:06:49] They detonated a hydrogen bomb in the middle of Manhattan.
[00:06:54] And 8.3 million Americans perished last night.
[00:07:00] And they're saying that our projected GDP puts us on par with Kuala Lumpur.
[00:07:07] We have now descended to third world country status.
[00:07:10] I actually, CNN is going out of business.
[00:07:14] Good.
[00:07:15] You should go out of business.
[00:07:16] You know these lies, you tell me, about me when you should be reporting on Robert DeNair
[00:07:20] or having gay sex.
[00:07:22] Joe Pesci almost killed himself.
[00:07:25] Last year, this is true.
[00:07:27] Last year, CNN did 862 million negative stories about me.
[00:07:33] We added it up.
[00:07:34] We had somebody, we got somebody from the office of accountability and the post office, something
[00:07:39] like that.
[00:07:40] They added it up 832 trillion times.
[00:07:43] There was a negative story about me.
[00:07:46] One story about Robert DeNair having gay sex with the margin of error of one.
[00:07:50] It's not fair.
[00:07:52] It's not fair.
[00:07:54] It's not fair.
[00:07:57] Just, but why?
[00:07:59] Why?
[00:08:00] It's not fair.
[00:08:01] Oh yeah.
[00:08:03] That is correct.
[00:08:05] Well the elections coming up, 19 million Americans are dead.
[00:08:10] Average household income is now $3 a year.
[00:08:14] That was probably a huge, 500 electoral industry.
[00:08:19] Donald Trump is down 800 million points in the polls.
[00:08:23] So it looks like it's going to be an easy win for Joe Biden.
[00:08:26] Well it's election night and Donald Trump won 100% of the votes.
[00:08:33] Not a single person voted for, and we go live now to poll exit voters and see what they
[00:08:43] think.
[00:08:44] I don't know if it was cause who gives a shit.
[00:08:51] I voted for Barack Obama.
[00:08:54] We liked him even.
[00:08:55] I mean I thought maybe it's time for what was he Spanish or something.
[00:09:00] I thought that was good.
[00:09:02] But a lot of people, I don't know how you feel about Donald Trump but he is the president.
[00:09:09] If I'm going to vote for somebody, I figure voting for president and one of them is the
[00:09:14] president.
[00:09:17] I mean that seems to be, that makes a lot of sense to me.
[00:09:20] Yeah for me it was Robert the Nero being gay.
[00:09:23] They kind of swung me on the right direction.
[00:09:25] I didn't like that he said that, but you look into it and it's actually true.
[00:09:32] Initially I was pretty mad at the president but then there's another clip that they don't
[00:09:36] show you on CNN, they played on Fox News and we go live to the clip now.
[00:09:42] Not only is he gay but they found this out, his real name is William Wilhelm.
[00:09:47] He's not even a tiger, he made it up.
[00:09:51] He made it up in college when he started reading Paul Moggs.
[00:09:54] He thought oh if I had an Italian sounding name I'd be able to be in gangster movies
[00:09:58] even though I'm a cocksucking homosexual.
[00:10:00] He's just interested in Mr. President or not.
[00:10:07] Just my question.
[00:10:09] Okay Mr. President.
[00:10:11] There's now been a 35th plane.
[00:10:14] They're down to keep lying play.
[00:10:18] They've run out of buildings and they've flown a plane into the Barton Springs pool in Austin,
[00:10:24] Texas.
[00:10:26] The Royal Farms Arena in Baltimore City has been destroyed.
[00:10:31] This is why everyone needs to have their own private plane.
[00:10:35] I've flown private all the time.
[00:10:36] This is never going to be an issue for me and I do it and what do they say?
[00:10:39] The climate.
[00:10:40] Oh he's hurting the climate.
[00:10:43] What is that?
[00:10:44] It's invisible.
[00:10:45] The air.
[00:10:46] Now that's how bad they think I am.
[00:10:49] That I can hurt the air.
[00:10:52] You can't even see it.
[00:10:53] Fox News are sick people.
[00:10:56] Meanwhile Rob is a hero.
[00:10:58] He's burping and farting.
[00:11:01] What's his carbon footprint?
[00:11:02] Do you know how many chemicals it takes to clean up come?
[00:11:07] How do you measure his carbon footprint?
[00:11:09] What size women's shoe do you measure?
[00:11:11] He's carbon footprint.
[00:11:12] Answer me that and just some Cooper.
[00:11:19] You know the Nero is actually only a quarter Italian?
[00:11:22] Yeah.
[00:11:23] Is that true?
[00:11:24] It's fucked up dude.
[00:11:25] I should inform you outside of my responsibilities as a journalist to never put myself into the
[00:11:30] story but I am in fact a homosexual.
[00:11:33] Ewwww.
[00:11:34] Don't say that about yourself.
[00:11:37] Understand we've had our differences but I think very highly of you.
[00:11:41] I think you're a good guy.
[00:11:43] Don't you don't need to throw yourself under the bus just because I'm here?
[00:11:48] I appreciate what you're doing.
[00:11:49] No I'm a gay man.
[00:11:50] No you're a good guy.
[00:11:51] You're a good guy.
[00:11:52] You're a good guy.
[00:11:53] And that's why I'm here to unite people.
[00:11:56] We're going to bring everybody together.
[00:11:58] You should think highly of yourself Anderson.
[00:12:00] Look you made it all the way to the top of the TV.
[00:12:04] You're the king of the TV.
[00:12:05] You're the guy on the TV.
[00:12:07] You're all the way up here in TV City.
[00:12:09] And where's Robby's name?
[00:12:10] Down on his knees on Fifth Avenue.
[00:12:13] He's sucking some guy's cock on me.
[00:12:20] Damn.
[00:12:21] We think the turning point.
[00:12:23] Tonight on Frontline, how Donald Trump swept the election in 2020.
[00:12:29] We initially thought giving Anderson Cooper a 17 hour interview with the president immediately
[00:12:35] following the worst terrorist attack in the history of the United States would hurt him.
[00:12:40] But apparently he's made out of Teflon.
[00:12:43] There's literally nothing the president can do that will be perceived as bad by the American
[00:12:49] people.
[00:12:50] And that's partially our fault.
[00:12:53] What have you got his dick sucked on camera?
[00:12:55] Trump?
[00:12:56] Yeah.
[00:12:57] Would that help or hurt him?
[00:12:58] I don't see that hurting.
[00:13:00] Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum
[00:13:02] Then it's like a disclaimer.
[00:13:04] Due to threats to our funding, Frontline is lost editorial control of the show, which
[00:13:09] will now be handled by some woman that Donald Trump met at a car wash.
[00:13:15] Robert De Niro.
[00:13:18] Gay and Anatoly.
[00:13:23] Tonight on Frontline, we look into the star of casinos, cocksucking exploits back in
[00:13:32] his Ulster Scott days on Fifth Avenue.
[00:13:38] Gay and Anatoly.
[00:13:44] Yeah.
[00:13:45] Issue one.
[00:13:46] It's just Dexter Filkins being like, are you sure you don't want to just ask me about Iraq?
[00:13:50] They're like, no, just say, just call Robert De Niro.
[00:13:54] Okay.
[00:13:55] Just say, okay.
[00:13:56] We need that.
[00:13:57] We need just ride out this administration.
[00:14:00] Once it's over, he's got four more years.
[00:14:03] We just do, we'll do 35 episodes on Robert De Niro and how Eugene Carroll has Schizophrenia.
[00:14:13] We're just, we're doing all of his political enemy attack shows.
[00:14:16] We're just going to get it out of the way.
[00:14:18] And then we can start, we'll keep going back, we can do another, another 100 episodes on
[00:14:23] how ISIS is either doing good or bad.
[00:14:29] Frontline kind of fell off for like a period.
[00:14:31] Dude, I never watched Frontline.
[00:14:33] Frontline rocks.
[00:14:34] Yeah.
[00:14:35] Frontline's great.
[00:14:36] The one on Putin is really good.
[00:14:37] But then they had like, and then the one on ISIS is really good.
[00:14:40] There's a million on ISIS I feel.
[00:14:42] Like it was like in the one I saw in my eyes.
[00:14:43] Wait, is it a weekly show?
[00:14:44] I don't know.
[00:14:45] No.
[00:14:46] They do one on.
[00:14:47] And once every like six weeks or so.
[00:14:49] Documentary series.
[00:14:50] Oh, okay.
[00:14:51] I see.
[00:14:52] They're pretty good.
[00:14:53] You learn a lot.
[00:14:54] Interesting.
[00:14:55] Never seen shit.
[00:14:56] You watched the Firestone one.
[00:14:57] You probably liked that one.
[00:14:58] What's Firestone?
[00:14:59] The tire company?
[00:15:00] Yeah.
[00:15:01] Firestone, they had a rubber plantation in Liberia.
[00:15:02] Oh shit.
[00:15:03] That's where they were chopping people's hands off and shit.
[00:15:04] Yeah.
[00:15:05] They were like fucking, they basically like funded this guy Charles Taylor's like, yeah.
[00:15:10] That's what.
[00:15:11] Yeah.
[00:15:12] He was out there just fucking genocideing motherfuckers.
[00:15:15] Yeah.
[00:15:16] Fuck.
[00:15:17] I tonight on Frontline did Robert De Niro fund Charles Taylor's genocidal campaign.
[00:15:23] Yes, he did.
[00:15:24] And he sucked his cock and he's gay and he's not.
[00:15:30] I burned my fucking thumbed grilling.
[00:15:37] Yeah.
[00:15:38] I was getting this lucky out of the shit.
[00:15:41] And I touched the wood.
[00:15:43] Well, it was right off the grill and I heard my fucking thumb meat sizzle.
[00:15:47] That's never happened to you.
[00:15:50] Yeah.
[00:15:51] It's just the moisture on your finger.
[00:15:52] Dude, it was fucked up.
[00:15:53] No, it looked.
[00:15:54] And it smelled probably too.
[00:15:55] Yeah, it tasted so good.
[00:15:57] Your thumb?
[00:15:58] You ever tasted like perfectly charred human flesh?
[00:16:02] You have a taste for human flesh now.
[00:16:03] I do.
[00:16:04] Dude, I'm like a fucking bear that ate a woman.
[00:16:06] Weren't I put me down?
[00:16:08] Oh yeah.
[00:16:09] Then you can't.
[00:16:11] It was fucked up.
[00:16:12] I don't know if I can hear my own fucking skin go.
[00:16:14] I think that is a good conclusion to your life is that you just eat yourself.
[00:16:18] I slowly barbecue eat a little bit of my stuff.
[00:16:20] You don't eat other stuff.
[00:16:21] You just eat yourself.
[00:16:22] Like one over has a donut head.
[00:16:24] Yeah, and he can't stop eating his own head.
[00:16:27] I used to dry so draw a donut head home or all the time when I was a kid.
[00:16:31] Oh yeah.
[00:16:32] I don't know.
[00:16:33] I was obsessed with drawing Homer with it.
[00:16:34] That's a good one.
[00:16:35] Yeah.
[00:16:36] Donut head home or rocked.
[00:16:37] And also a Taurus.
[00:16:39] Also, uh, Homer in the chocolate city.
[00:16:42] Yeah.
[00:16:43] When the Germans take over the plant.
[00:16:45] Of course, my system.
[00:16:46] So after all, we are from the land of chocolate.
[00:16:49] Yeah, I'm sorry.
[00:16:50] You were saying something about chocolate.
[00:16:52] It was 10 minutes ago.
[00:16:55] Goddamn, I would love to be in a land of chocolate.
[00:17:01] Mm hmm.
[00:17:02] Oh, yeah.
[00:17:04] Yeah.
[00:17:05] Yeah.
[00:17:06] So anyway, we got a fucking plan on Puerto Rico vacation, dude.
[00:17:09] Oh yeah, we've made a big decision about the show.
[00:17:11] Guys, we're going to winter in Puerto Rico.
[00:17:13] Mm hmm.
[00:17:14] We're going to be snowbirds, like, uh, old Jewish people going to warmer weather climate.
[00:17:19] You should just get a fucking mansion, dude.
[00:17:21] A living single.
[00:17:22] A 90s kind of world.
[00:17:24] Living single.
[00:17:25] That would be cool.
[00:17:26] Sucking pussy.
[00:17:27] A second penis.
[00:17:28] A second penis.
[00:17:29] A second penis.
[00:17:30] A second penis.
[00:17:31] A second penis.
[00:17:32] A second penis.
[00:17:33] It's a nights episode of then living single has been purchased.
[00:17:36] In living single.
[00:17:37] He's been repurchased by Donald Trump.
[00:17:42] The distribution rights has been edited to reflect the official positions of the White
[00:17:48] House.
[00:17:49] We're going to get black people on board.
[00:17:53] We're going to buy episodes of the things that go.
[00:17:56] You say you get the black rope.
[00:17:57] You tell them Robert De Niro, he's actually a cocksucker.
[00:18:00] He's the blacks.
[00:18:01] They're like me.
[00:18:02] They don't like gay.
[00:18:03] They don't like it.
[00:18:04] You know, everybody's saying I'm stuck in the past.
[00:18:07] These guys go to a barbershop.
[00:18:11] They would talk to a black guy.
[00:18:13] The thing's coming out of his mouth.
[00:18:14] It's like it's 1880.
[00:18:15] He's talking about I can't wait to get a telephone.
[00:18:19] I can't wait to try out one of these telephone movies.
[00:18:25] I can't wait to order something from the sea is not alone.
[00:18:29] So true.
[00:18:30] Mr. President.
[00:18:31] I can say something like this.
[00:18:38] People would be like, yeah.
[00:18:41] They were talking so I could say 1830.
[00:18:43] It's like, what are them going to hear you?
[00:18:45] You got to say quieter.
[00:18:46] You got to be quiet.
[00:18:47] You got to do it.
[00:18:48] You can't say that word.
[00:18:49] I say in the dressing room at Bergman Goodall for the very good news.
[00:18:52] Whatever the fuck that place is called.
[00:18:54] Didn't somebody say they had audio of him saying it while he was on the apprentice?
[00:18:59] Yeah, well he had a good reason to say it.
[00:19:01] Oh, he was kicking Omarosa off?
[00:19:03] Yeah.
[00:19:04] What happened Omarosa?
[00:19:06] She was in the administration and then I think she tried to switch switch up and snitch
[00:19:11] on him or something.
[00:19:12] It didn't work?
[00:19:13] I don't think she's fucking teflon dumb.
[00:19:16] She didn't get, yeah, I'm sure she was adopted by the resistance for two days.
[00:19:21] It's going to be so funny when he wins.
[00:19:23] God, I hope he doesn't.
[00:19:25] But he probably will.
[00:19:26] It's going to be so far.
[00:19:27] Far nice to debate.
[00:19:29] Nah, for real?
[00:19:30] Yeah.
[00:19:31] Far nice to be one.
[00:19:33] We should have saved the show.
[00:19:34] We should have saved.
[00:19:35] Save.
[00:19:36] That's going to be a fucking battle.
[00:19:39] That's going to be awesome.
[00:19:40] Honestly, it's going to, it's going to, it's going to degenerate into just name calling.
[00:19:44] No, no Trump's whole thing right now is that they're probably going to visit.
[00:19:47] You know what?
[00:19:48] Here's how Joe Biden wins the election.
[00:19:50] He beats him up.
[00:19:51] Well, not get like buck on him because Donald Trump will back down.
[00:19:55] No, I think Joe Biden does have that energy.
[00:19:58] He really does.
[00:19:59] He would get in a fight.
[00:20:00] Yeah, he would get in a fight.
[00:20:01] What if Joe Biden was just like, he's in his face and he's like, do something?
[00:20:06] That would be awesome.
[00:20:07] I mean, I really, no, it said that he would win the election.
[00:20:11] Easy.
[00:20:12] If he made trouble with like a pussy.
[00:20:14] If he just fucking got in Donald Trump's face and said do something.
[00:20:17] No one's tried that.
[00:20:19] Yeah.
[00:20:20] Honestly, it should have been, it should have been.
[00:20:21] Joe Biden should just be like, he's like, listen, Jack, listen.
[00:20:25] It's also like what do we have to lose culturally, politically?
[00:20:28] Oh, no.
[00:20:29] It's already a super embarrassing.
[00:20:30] That's what people are tuning in for anyways.
[00:20:32] There's no chance we're getting like health insurance out of it.
[00:20:35] No, that's not even going to be discussed.
[00:20:37] Yeah, it's yeah.
[00:20:39] Absolutely.
[00:20:40] All we can hope for is that it's slightly, I mean, Donald Trump's going to bring like
[00:20:43] a sample of Joe Biden's son's brain cancer on stage.
[00:20:47] No, no, no, no.
[00:20:49] Don Trump's whole thing right now is that he is demanding Joe Biden take a drug test
[00:20:53] because he's a drug addict.
[00:20:55] He keeps tweeting about how he's like Joe Biden is a drug addict.
[00:20:58] Look, I know this.
[00:20:59] He's killing Robert De Niro.
[00:21:00] They've been doing poppers.
[00:21:01] They've been doing poppers.
[00:21:03] It's a drug.
[00:21:04] It's only gay people allowed to take it.
[00:21:06] How is that fair?
[00:21:07] They got a drug that only gay people allowed to do and they say they want equality.
[00:21:12] Well, how come here's, here's where we were 1950.
[00:21:16] You know, some people say this isn't equal.
[00:21:18] Other people say, well, maybe there's a little, a couple more things we could change.
[00:21:22] Okay.
[00:21:23] Okay.
[00:21:24] Change a couple of things, but then they go way too far.
[00:21:28] They've gone too far.
[00:21:29] Now gay people have special their own truck.
[00:21:32] They got special job prep poppers.
[00:21:34] Meanwhile, I'm in the White House and I'm shooting heroin with my daughter.
[00:21:40] I'm having my beautiful daughter shoot heroin into the last vein in my penis.
[00:21:47] I had to go either go to Thailand to get new veins put into my penis.
[00:21:52] So I could shoot heroin into my penis before the debate.
[00:21:58] I mean, Trump's definitely done Adderall though, right?
[00:22:01] That's, they say he snorts Adderall, but I don't buy it.
[00:22:04] I think that he's just a weird guy.
[00:22:06] You don't think he's on Adderall?
[00:22:08] One thing I have heard is that he's really and definitely on Adderall.
[00:22:11] I think he's definitely on Adderall.
[00:22:12] Soon if it is kind of a fucking bad thing.
[00:22:13] What if he's in the blue chew?
[00:22:14] Take it away, bro.
[00:22:15] He's probably, if he was in the blue chew, then he would be in a fucking beautiful place
[00:22:20] because let me tell you this much.
[00:22:22] I'm into blue chew and I have a fucked up little penis.
[00:22:28] Now when I take a couple fucking blue chews and look, they come in six milligrams, they
[00:22:33] come in and I want to say maybe they do a 15 milligram or a 12 or something like that.
[00:22:37] Here's the thing, they tell you to take one, you could take as many as you want to make
[00:22:41] your dick even harder.
[00:22:42] Yeah.
[00:22:43] One will make it hard, two will make it real hard, three will make it throbbing hard, you
[00:22:46] don't have a pretty bad headache the whole time.
[00:22:48] Yeah, for a couple days on that.
[00:22:50] But your dick will stay hard because with the doctors of blue chew say is that it's
[00:22:56] either fucking, it's the same exact shit as Viagra, it's the same exact shit as fucking
[00:23:01] Cialis, but this time it's in a candy form.
[00:23:05] And I don't know about you, but eating candy at him makes, that I'm already halfway to
[00:23:10] fucking hard.
[00:23:11] Exactly.
[00:23:12] And so they're kind of like sweet tartar smarties.
[00:23:13] They make it in a flavor that any child would adore.
[00:23:16] Exactly.
[00:23:17] You can give it to a child and its little cock will get hard.
[00:23:19] It reminds me of going to my local candy shop and the old man there giving me some blue
[00:23:25] raspberry style candies.
[00:23:27] Oh yeah.
[00:23:28] That just made my dick.
[00:23:29] It makes you dick hard.
[00:23:30] Insanely hard.
[00:23:31] He's like, why don't you, I have even better candies in the back room.
[00:23:33] And then he takes you back there, he locks the door and then you wake up 20 minutes later,
[00:23:38] you're eating a hot dog on a park bench and you're confused how you got there.
[00:23:42] Here's the thing about our president.
[00:23:43] I don't think that he would use a blue chew.
[00:23:45] I know.
[00:23:46] He's going soft and just tell the woman that is hard.
[00:23:49] His dick is hard.
[00:23:50] Yeah.
[00:23:51] This is not what your face said.
[00:23:52] He kind of slid his little ass.
[00:23:54] He didn't have that big a dick and it was semi-soft and he slid it in there with a lot
[00:23:58] of pubes.
[00:23:59] Who knows?
[00:24:00] Stormy said that.
[00:24:01] Stormy said that.
[00:24:02] Well, that's, you know, I trust her.
[00:24:05] Anyway, you go to bluetooth.com.
[00:24:08] You fucking talk, you don't have to go to the doctor and say, doctor please, my dick
[00:24:12] is soft, which I did, I tried to ask my doctor in Baltimore when I was like 22 years old
[00:24:18] for dick pills at the time I was lying and just wanted to get my dick even harder.
[00:24:23] He gave me some samples because he was Italian and he fucking, his name was Wincenzo and he
[00:24:27] rolls like that.
[00:24:29] You don't have to do that though.
[00:24:30] You don't have to be embarrassed.
[00:24:31] No, you go right online, you fucking have an online consultation and you say, look how
[00:24:36] fucking lit my cock is.
[00:24:38] They asked the last girl you fucked, they text her, was his dick hard?
[00:24:43] She'll say no, you get her to say no.
[00:24:45] And then they mail you some fucking sedal filler to dal Lefil.
[00:24:48] I can't get another just fucking Mandarin orange.
[00:24:51] Yeah, I won't go out.
[00:24:53] Yeah, you read today, we've been hanging out.
[00:24:55] You've had what four of Adams oranges?
[00:24:57] I've had like nine.
[00:24:58] You're gonna have some wet shit, I'll tell you what, I can't shit anymore.
[00:25:03] Nick's ass is already leaking.
[00:25:04] I can smell it from here.
[00:25:05] I can't, my shit don't work.
[00:25:07] I need blue chew for my ass.
[00:25:09] They're working on that, man.
[00:25:11] They're working on blue chew for the ass.
[00:25:14] My name is BB King, you may know me.
[00:25:17] You may know me as the mask out of blue chew.
[00:25:25] Blue blue blue.
[00:25:26] Blue blue blue.
[00:25:27] Blue, blue, blue.
[00:25:28] Blue, blue.
[00:25:29] Blue, blue.
[00:25:30] Blue, blue.
[00:25:31] Blue, blue.
[00:25:32] Blue.
[00:25:33] Blue, blue.
[00:25:34] Blue, blue.
[00:25:35] Blue.
[00:25:36] Blue.
[00:25:37] Great!
[00:25:38] Yep.
[00:25:39] Would you like sex?
[00:25:40] I don't know.
[00:25:41] You like sextyela.
[00:25:42] Feel love, Blue.
[00:25:43] I love Bloody
[00:26:00] was gay for a look what was the bachelor's name Jeffrey the bachelor's
[00:26:05] and the bachelor's look I got look you're you're saying I need to just let my
[00:26:10] mind I'm sorry man go for just going your floaty he's got a flow out Nick is
[00:26:15] levitating and his eyes are rolling in the back of his head he's got his legs
[00:26:18] crisscross applesauce I got a fucking influence his speed of over here another
[00:26:22] plane to see my way through this this alright we're with you buddy a lot of
[00:26:27] people listen to show don't know that I go to bed at 7 p.m. now and wake up at
[00:26:30] 3 a.m. he's on a new schedule he's on the Mark Wahlberg schedule by by no choice
[00:26:35] of my own it just happens like that now I don't know what the fuck happened he
[00:26:40] wakes up screaming praise works out I'm gonna start he has to go to bluetooth.com
[00:26:47] promo code come down promo code penis Gary pinaise they're gonna send it to
[00:26:55] you and discreet packaging yeah man this is actor Gary pinaise scary
[00:27:07] pinaise scary pinaise I think we've said it he's a Hollywood
[00:27:12] Republican yeah my name's Gary pinaise beautiful blue chute got I was wondering
[00:27:20] if any of the people listening you listeners at home might have a penis
[00:27:24] it doesn't work what is Gary's and he sound like something I have literally
[00:27:29] no I can't even I can't even visualize his voice my visualizes face but not
[00:27:34] yeah I remember when I was a kid I saw that lieutenant Dan wait do we sex oh
[00:27:39] yeah it's promo code comes on Gary's and he's here when I was a kid I was like
[00:27:46] how is he doing that he doesn't have legs Gary's and he's here never seen
[00:27:49] us yeah it was very confusing mm-hmm when they made me cut my legs off to play
[00:27:57] the retarded guy far as come I don't know if he was that movie was all about
[00:28:02] different kind of retail against the box of chocolate speech mental retard a
[00:28:09] racial retard and then a body retarget I think Boba was also Jenny was a gender
[00:28:14] retard woman is I can buy into that and then everybody gets AIDS and the moral
[00:28:22] of the story is don't fuck your disabled kids principal just a trick him into
[00:28:27] that's right mm-hmm I mean how sweet is it the only benefit of being retarded is
[00:28:32] that you don't have to go to school and the ping pong to and then your mom
[00:28:36] you're really good her pussy to make you do homework mm-hmm fucked up that's a
[00:28:41] that's a shitty mom I would fuck Sally Fields though yeah so let the kid into
[00:28:47] school fuck you did you know I fuck Sally feels Gary just stick to the just
[00:28:54] stick to the copy can you stop doing a Jack Nick it's not my fault I don't
[00:28:59] know what I said why the hell would you hire Gary Sunnis to do V.O. for your
[00:29:05] commercial your cock pill commercial for your blue shoe dot com commercial promo
[00:29:11] code come down get 20 what is it 20% off the promo code come down doesn't work
[00:29:17] try come down to one of the two it's probably one of those and my phone died
[00:29:24] before we started the show so I don't have the copy in front of me I can't
[00:29:29] guarantee what the promo code is but it's either a hometown or come down 20 I
[00:29:36] I am I'm Gary Penis I'm Gary Penis pay your penis get hard I also want to say
[00:29:41] real quick this weekend live long and let your penis what your penis get hard
[00:29:46] mr. Spock do that thing with your hand and say the thing about my cock live
[00:29:51] long and let your penis get hard yes I love it you did it again I love it so
[00:29:58] much come see me this weekend in Philadelphia I'm at the punchline in
[00:30:03] Phillies when get that one off early five shows Thursday Friday Saturday not
[00:30:10] Sunday so that and then I'm in Worcester Saturday what's the Worcester Mass and
[00:30:16] yeah that's it keep getting your dick hard also sold Jules Tenton Royceford
[00:30:21] PA later and then Magoobies on Halloween weekend very nice but and bring
[00:30:28] the blue shoot bring your dick make your dick hard who was asking him to do in
[00:30:33] the act that Nick who was asking Spock to say that
[00:30:36] okay captain captain Kirk yeah mr. Spock put your hand in my hands do a V
[00:30:44] do that V thing in my eyes mr. Spock maybe on the bridge and do the V thing
[00:30:51] in my life is brand-new territory for the show if you're just tuning in they
[00:31:01] we've never done anything like this is this still funny oh yeah dude the V
[00:31:08] thing for me to the V thing in my ass come on dude that's very funny I think
[00:31:13] the show is finally funny to me yeah it's funny to me it's never been funny to me
[00:31:17] before but the idea of spending years
[00:31:25] Garfield Francis Garfield and his boyfriends
[00:31:31] the cats are on the gas just like Monday they're like what's wrong with
[00:31:35] Monday and then it's 20 minutes of the cat being violently fucked by a bunch
[00:31:39] of guys and you're like oh
[00:31:42] that poor cat yeah yeah that's why he's John John comes down he's like Garvey
[00:31:50] old is a month no he's like
[00:31:54] in this beach level oh great John's friends are coming
[00:32:04] just fucking giving us our castic smirk hurry up fellas your walks in
[00:32:09] I brought lasagna for everybody because I'm Italian he thought the cat
[00:32:17] you did Anderson was a cat named Garvey
[00:32:23] no his president's catch on
[00:32:27] get together everybody everybody
[00:32:29] Robert De Niro you would join our muckles
[00:32:32] we've been done here John our buckle and Robert De Niro spit roast a big orange
[00:32:39] because that's in the gay community orange cats are like their Asian women
[00:32:45] that's what it is to them
[00:32:48] give us a president 20 minutes ago you said it was children
[00:32:52] book Anderson I don't tell you how to live your life you're quite literally
[00:32:57] doing exactly that I don't make the rules I just play by a man this and I don't
[00:33:03] make the rules I mean that is my job as president I come up with all the rules
[00:33:08] I decide what they're gonna be I think it'll be really funny if you'd like the
[00:33:12] Democrats found like some big fat guy to accuse that Amy Barrett woman of rape
[00:33:17] yeah I was like sure when I was in high school she took advantage of me we have
[00:33:23] to act like he's right and then this is like in the Senate being like how did
[00:33:30] it make you feel she sucked my dish she sucked my little dick we got a
[00:33:37] delleable in the hippocampus is Amy laughing at my tiny penis as she sucked
[00:33:43] it in front of the entire football team and they all have to said there's fat
[00:33:48] titted baby dick Eric getting his dick sucked by slut Amy we got to start do
[00:33:59] what happened to believe all women what happened it what happened to believe
[00:34:01] what happened to believing victims nobody believes Eric custard nobody
[00:34:08] believes mr. Eric custard when he says that Amy raped him why did they believe
[00:34:12] Christine Blaisey Ford we got to start Jacob wall style hydrogen expose is yeah
[00:34:18] but for the left what is Jacob wall trying to like be a jiggle now no he's on
[00:34:23] only fans but he just shows himself shirtless he never shows calm I don't
[00:34:28] think he's just what about in like briefs you can see that kid that kid rules
[00:34:33] dude every every idea he comes up with fails immediately yeah yeah rich or
[00:34:39] something I think his dad's rich or something yeah he looks like a rich kid
[00:34:44] who is the bishop there about to put on the Supreme Court that's Amy Barrett
[00:34:48] let me she got to last name Amy Barrett Coney she got fucked up eyes dude yeah
[00:34:54] she's super she's super Catholic oh yeah she's 48 she was a judge for two years
[00:35:00] or so are you serious yeah what if somebody sniped her or what if she raped
[00:35:06] and obese kid was a nice yeah if I was only the right age I would be down for
[00:35:12] how long you be like they just got Christine Blaisey Ford again and she's
[00:35:15] like Amy raped me wait did he rape me Christine Blaisey Ford what do you do
[00:35:20] he like held her down while he was drunk yeah he almost raped her but he
[00:35:24] didn't oh damn I think his and his friend was laughing at them yeah but yeah no
[00:35:32] stop I think you should run a honey pot operation I will do I'll get her to fuck
[00:35:36] my ass with a strap on bad news stop it all the hot damn it stop how did you
[00:35:42] eat metaphorical honey I don't know but I was fuck I wanted honey this was our
[00:35:48] chance to hurt the expression arose by any other name this is our chances
[00:35:51] is that you called something honey and I had to eat it I wish my brain worked
[00:35:59] that way we got a book or a hotel again hook where they could just think about
[00:36:03] the food yeah I remember that you know how much of my life I'm thinking about
[00:36:08] you look movie like hook that sounds like hook the name of no no no no no
[00:36:14] come on that's a four hundred no not that
[00:36:24] I think we've brought it to before but you do look like the little black kid
[00:36:29] from hook I would just fat with the floppy half fat no you both have a nice
[00:36:33] or a fat we have fat cheeks chubby cheeks a nice smile you get excited when you
[00:36:39] put those hats on fat black kids again yeah that was an awesome little newsy
[00:36:43] can I'll be newsy yeah awesome that was a good look yeah actor Jeremy chocolate
[00:36:49] started 13 before passing away the age of 13
[00:37:06] I love it I love seeing that little fucking she's really enjoying whatever
[00:37:12] racist thing you thinking face of Satan just the master of tricks oh man you know
[00:37:21] going close was a pirate in hook really oh don't get me started yeah
[00:37:25] for real I think she might even been the guy in the hole or something or she was
[00:37:29] she was definitely a pirate you know also the pirate really look you think you
[00:37:34] can just fuck me and leave hey parents like oh there's a girl children man man
[00:37:43] this entire world is filled with children if you could just keep your isn't it
[00:37:47] pirates and children so is the whole thing just a fucking metaphor for
[00:37:51] right child rapist you know what's named it's all named after what was going on
[00:37:55] it fucking Michael Jackson's house yeah they named Neverland branch came first
[00:38:03] I didn't and then the book and then the movie was like oh what about a movie
[00:38:08] where there's a guy who's sort of child and and then he gets to go to a fantasy
[00:38:16] world with different laws where you could be a giant trip to Thailand you could be
[00:38:22] the guy and they have Americans are there and they don't have it there's no
[00:38:26] kind of a thought to invest in it or no oversight into what happens in the
[00:38:31] homeland and there's a group of literal boys that are lost nobody nobody to
[00:38:40] answer to them dude for real though whatever English motherfucker wrote
[00:38:46] that up that's a sick guy dude didn't Johnny was a player yeah there's a movie
[00:38:51] with Johnny Doug that guy's got a fuck kids captain captain fuck kids no but he
[00:38:57] knew kids named like Peter and we'll go to the Caribbean he really fine boys
[00:39:03] we'll have sex with the boys imagine that guys at home a nice shashang while
[00:39:09] we're doing these voices
[00:39:14] oh man I was I was just trying to do Johnny that was trying to like figure out
[00:39:21] a Johnny Depp impression the other day and I just kept saying like a mom got
[00:39:26] fat when she found out on he was retarded well after after my dad left
[00:39:34] and my mom found out only was retarded she got fat she got fat as shit as soon
[00:39:43] as on it came out retarded first couple of times they gave on a math test
[00:39:48] was clear as retarded and after that my mom she just became just fat as fuck
[00:39:53] she got a fucking cow fucking bitch you got fat as hell yeah honey's retarded
[00:40:01] he's so good in that movie who sucking Gilbert's cock that it's like one of
[00:40:06] the only for not only cuz first of all so many actors that are talented
[00:40:09] otherwise have fucked up being retarded you mean Leo is so good and Leo is a
[00:40:13] far we always amazing in that yeah that is a fucking that is like a like one
[00:40:19] of the best performances of all time yeah I haven't seen it because it's like
[00:40:23] you know like they get like it's like a hack joke but the tropics under thing
[00:40:26] of like don't go full retard yeah why that joke so funny is cuz it's 100%
[00:40:31] true everybody that fucking like it's incredibly fucking hard to do and have
[00:40:35] the character play like let alone authentic but even sympathetic right and
[00:40:39] not just to see the actor doing a bad right as a boy I am Sam is fucking
[00:40:45] disgusting yeah the other sister is disgusting Giovanni be
[00:40:50] Rabisi is fine but he's just playing himself mm-hmm yeah you know his
[00:40:55] range is like he's already you can play you just use your normal voice finally
[00:40:59] Giovanni what are you doing?
[00:41:01] I don't understand the scripts about like a guy that rapes the retarded girl
[00:41:07] they're like yeah yeah that's it so just keep doing that and that'll that'll
[00:41:15] read fine mm-hmm that'll be that's exactly what we want more of this energy
[00:41:20] is just what should I do to they get into character nothing stay pushed the
[00:41:26] cameras are good about it yeah we're getting a lot of good stuff yeah all
[00:41:31] this is going in what should I put on makeup or no should I dress different
[00:41:36] yeah you're perfect should I turn off all my marching band music not at all I
[00:41:44] want my dog costume here because all my other clothes are covered in heroin
[00:41:48] I spilled heroin all of my other jeans every other pair of clothes I have
[00:41:55] spilled heroin what's uh what's Giovanni what's Giovanni been it
[00:42:01] where's big when he was young boiler room Arnie and Arnie and what's he didn't go
[00:42:06] over grape is a fucking great performance I would love to see you know it's a
[00:42:10] shame that they made peanut butter falcon instead of shaya just playing a
[00:42:14] retarded yeah they really should let him shy is shocking he has shy a if shy
[00:42:20] it made that movie where he plays the retarded person and then he cast it
[00:42:24] down as the normal guys yeah that would be awesome because that would be you
[00:42:30] couldn't criticize you and cuz shy would mail it yes and it would be the
[00:42:34] greatest performance of all time you know that would be the greatest piece of
[00:42:37] acting that anyone has ever produced that's right and then people will be like you
[00:42:41] know what about on the waterfront you'd be like no bullshit what about that
[00:42:45] movie where Shilah buff was retarded and the retarded guy was normal on the
[00:42:49] waterfront maul at Brando and the near afterwards is going around sucking each
[00:42:55] other's cars and so I said the best act of all time and Shilah buff because he
[00:43:01] did a movie with a retarded guy you're not even aware of it because shaya is so
[00:43:05] good at even more retarded even acting with them he somehow elevates the
[00:43:10] other guy so he extracts his his talent is so expansive that it crosses over
[00:43:17] into this other person in a body is it possible mr. President that the man
[00:43:24] with Down syndrome is also talented not a chance don't be ridiculous it was all
[00:43:30] shaya I was shy and it did everything shaya I know he did that he will not divide us
[00:43:35] thing but he would he is the makings of a great Hollywood Republican he would
[00:43:40] be awesome he did not though if he was like if his politics were like
[00:43:43] reactionary it would be he would rock just cuz he's cool he's what you say no
[00:43:47] cuz he's like really hot because he's a little crazy the high Republicans are
[00:43:51] fucking Bruce Willis Clint Eastwood Clint Eastwood of course Gary
[00:43:55] Penis Gary Penis who else fucking James Woods oh that guy yeah yeah I mean it's
[00:44:04] not why is why is I shot his sack is such a good actor is because the real
[00:44:09] shy it doesn't exist no there is no there's nothing there I mean he's saying
[00:44:14] he's did you see honey well whatever I mean he's just he's a very an extremely
[00:44:19] talented person that is like layered himself in all of this talent it's a
[00:44:26] very good movie very good but has there is no real shaya there what's about the
[00:44:30] real him no it's it's still like that it's that you know what that movie is
[00:44:35] actually a good thing in Nick's favor here because you make a movie like that
[00:44:39] you're like I'm gonna make something powerful but you don't even really give
[00:44:42] a fuck I'm gonna make a movie where I play my dad it's an autobiography like
[00:44:45] that's or whatever it's I mean it's like a fictionalized account of his own life
[00:44:49] but even like the real details of his life he has to insert himself in right
[00:44:54] and like because he's just he's like like a reflection of himself and the real
[00:44:58] self was never there oh shit hell yeah brother exactly I'm telling you there's
[00:45:05] no fucking that's what makes him such a gory of the cave I never understood
[00:45:12] what that meant it's like it's like they got this kid rabbit to now he's got
[00:45:16] this kid you're starting the shadows and two afraid to leave the cave but they're
[00:45:20] not real yeah they're just shadows on the capal what the fuck so you're like
[00:45:25] those are monsters that keep me in the cave and then you leave the cave you're
[00:45:29] like oh there were never any monsters and what did we say at a different
[00:45:34] episode we were saying the Matrix was that yeah that's the Matrix is is that
[00:45:40] so the outgoing came is about like shit you're worried about not being a big
[00:45:43] deal at all well just like the things that you're yeah I guess so the the people
[00:45:48] that you can certainly place a bad on whether in there where you going yeah
[00:45:54] I'm taking the breeds off take them off take a break dude I don't know the
[00:45:59] copy listen I don't know they could pull well you know what I do because I
[00:46:02] love gambling so we got what's his name D'Angelo Russell Russell is on the
[00:46:10] Raiders and we got a we got some hot picks for you coming up and we're we're
[00:46:15] placing all of our hot picks to take Marcus Lajachshan for 12 over 15
[00:46:21] receptions yeah in the website we're talking about is my what is it my bookie
[00:46:26] die a g my bookie daddy and it's the best place to place your bets and it's
[00:46:31] where we place all of our we place all our wages on my bookie that he and they
[00:46:35] pay you fast you they you will win if you sign up you get a bonus and they have
[00:46:42] live in-game wagering you can bet on people's fence thousand dollar master
[00:46:47] fucking the project up to a thousand dollars yep
[00:46:53] dollars a master's part my bookie daddy I mean more than a thousand dollars
[00:47:00] don't match your deposit I mean well nice blump something this fucking I
[00:47:04] only recommend a service to my fans they've been good to me you know I'm in yeah
[00:47:10] no bullshit no fucking bull I'm on this fucking website betting every day we've
[00:47:15] never lied every dollar I fucking have next quad jubilant is money he's
[00:47:20] richest fuck I'm rich as fuck it I bought us I bought a wife oh yeah straight from
[00:47:24] Laos she's so sick my house from Laos but I just me pronouncing ho yeah in a
[00:47:31] weird way mm-hmm she's not wrong here in funny and tax method she if you got
[00:47:37] it out I got a tax raise me and CEO of my bookie got a day mm-hmm now yeah I'll
[00:47:43] pull it up now well to see you yeah ha ha ha I'm not giving any money back
[00:47:50] yeah that's so funny yeah of course we're front of the show and up up up up
[00:47:56] I get 50% of all money still from the fans oh here it is yeah Laos how well I
[00:48:03] guess it doesn't really work not that funny either it's not as funny as I
[00:48:08] thought was but the point is she's got a really nice pussy nice but he borrowed
[00:48:12] he bought it with his winnings my you got my women's my bookie dot a jig
[00:48:17] and by a wife which is an incredibly legitimate domain ending yeah a G
[00:48:25] AG is what you want that's how you know it's an anonymous offshore company
[00:48:30] yeah you have to have an anonymous offshore company to even get that
[00:48:34] domain so it's you know that is trustworthy but off of what shore we're
[00:48:41] not quite sure it doesn't matter so offshore it's a country that doesn't
[00:48:45] even have shore there somewhere in the middle of the ocean on a boat and yeah
[00:48:52] we we recommend it to all of our we love it you could do betting on fantasy we
[00:48:58] got the NBA frickin finals coming up tonight Lakers versus the putting your
[00:49:03] money on the frickin as far as absence or put your money on the freaking Lakers
[00:49:06] 50% a Lakers car lays against the spread I love that I love that that's great it
[00:49:13] sounds cool I'm just gonna start saying things that they have they got the point
[00:49:17] got a couple points on the big yeah you could definitely parlay kind of like a
[00:49:21] proposition Joe self-parlay you can put you can press you bet on the overs on
[00:49:26] unders you can bet on the fucking this prop bets I have no idea who's got the
[00:49:31] biggest cock you know will we see well we see Bam out of bios cock pop out of a
[00:49:37] shorts or something called all the bronze cock ones spots right yeah super
[00:49:41] contest or something I don't know why how does NBA betting do you have like
[00:49:45] minus 500 and plus 750 I don't know what those numbers mean at all it's it means
[00:49:51] like I mean if there if those motherfucks are minus they're huge minus 500
[00:49:57] they're huge underdogs of what are our huge favorites yeah but why is I mean
[00:50:03] it's not like that in football it's like minus seven because like no no no
[00:50:07] they're expecting money in by seven plus that's different you there's two totally
[00:50:11] different all right whatever the point is go to my boogie dot AG my bookie
[00:50:14] dot AG up to a thousand dollars you'll double your first deposit play bet when
[00:50:19] get paid get sexy get a look you're gonna allow you allow you get some
[00:50:24] La Ocean how make you all of my trail make make sure you promo cut you think
[00:50:29] you're behind your fucking volume next no it hasn't I literally just but
[00:50:33] assembled that trail mix yesterday and it hasn't been sitting behind my body
[00:50:37] well I'm needed to think I don't have a cop in front of me my fucking phone died
[00:50:42] all right it's all right I have to be charged by now newly assembled I have to
[00:50:47] eat nine eggs or a guard I just want to put that on the record put it on it's
[00:50:50] probably charged by now you know me I'm a voracious eater I know you had nine
[00:50:56] clement I'm gonna have to start locking up his snake one thing sure about me is
[00:51:00] I made voracious eat it because no respect for my snacks and a voracious
[00:51:04] sucker and I'm fired up I'm gonna feel right now and I love these nuts and I
[00:51:12] love my bookie dot AG and I love my fucking dumb wife from China wherever
[00:51:16] and if you go to this website China's Layers use promo code
[00:51:21] come town or come town 20 again I cannot remember one of those it's
[00:51:29] definitely one of those either come town or come time 20 and maybe case sensitive
[00:51:33] go play around find that's part of the fun that's part of the fun of a gamble
[00:51:38] part of the game is figuring out what the promo code actually is that's right
[00:51:43] you can always email their 24 7 customer service yep there's some of the
[00:51:47] customer service I think if their email is open 24 7 you can't their email is open
[00:51:53] 24 7 I never rejecting emails no I am telling you
[00:51:58] you call them up on the email he's like what's promised over and come down
[00:52:03] they'll say I don't fucking fuck you fucking piece of shit I'm I'm calling
[00:52:08] about that guys Chinese boy can I get they're like we don't know the
[00:52:12] kapurmico but we can show you a picture of that guys watch pussy how about
[00:52:15] Al Capone ok that's good and you have syphilis and you're going insane he's
[00:52:20] like dang fucking mama me oh where's the fuck it I put 20% off with the Al Capone
[00:52:28] ok about that you guys even think about that I don't think they did did any of
[00:52:35] you even can see it you you fucking idiots did you even did it even cross
[00:52:39] your mind stupid little fucked up mine just fucking to think of something along
[00:52:44] the lines of Al Capone code so again again it's come down or come down 20
[00:52:51] and figure it out and Nick can't go to the next phone to get his now fully
[00:52:56] charged phone been charging for now or 40 what am I supposed to just walk away
[00:53:00] during we should done it twice to get me the Renard and to eat my trail you
[00:53:06] done it for snacks twice in the bathroom once I mean it was mostly to get another
[00:53:11] man all right I'm not I'm not mad I barely pissed although I did so Adam
[00:53:16] admitted that he sleep walks and he pissed all over his bathroom all right
[00:53:20] it's more involved than that I thought of we I thought or me I will apparently I
[00:53:25] got up you know the folks in home will be pleased to know that he has the
[00:53:28] scent of a cat no cats you what happened was I got up there's a mirror like a
[00:53:34] big mirror leaning against the wall in my bedroom I thought it was a door so I
[00:53:39] ripped it off the wall and then my girlfriend was like what are you doing
[00:53:42] and I'd already pulled down my boxers so I'd my dick out I was holding a mirror
[00:53:48] his girlfriend's like oh you also have a penis because I did that's rude that's
[00:53:53] not a man no that is what happens you can bet on it you've seen her
[00:53:58] post multiple times and it's rude if you just say on the show I've never seen
[00:54:02] your pussy no we've seen your pussy I know okay so you're boyfriend we only
[00:54:07] seen you when we finished okay so my boyfriend so my boyfriend was like well
[00:54:11] all right so my boyfriend's like what do you want what are you doing and
[00:54:15] apparently in my teammate in my seat walk in my seat walk I said doing the math
[00:54:20] to make you is not gay is possible stop it well it's making sure on the record
[00:54:25] stop making it gay it's not gay you have a pussy you're a woman you're a
[00:54:29] superstar there's not a single direction you can take well you're not gay I have
[00:54:34] a pimp I have a penis I am not gay well I am straight and you have a
[00:54:40] I woke up in the middle of the night I pulled down my boxers that's that's
[00:54:43] true I thought I thought this is very true right all right I guess I didn't
[00:54:50] consider those options all talk next
[00:54:52] episode anyway so and then she was like what are you doing and I said apparently
[00:54:58] I said it broke I put the mirror back Adam tell your girlfriend to shut up I
[00:55:03] put them who's that girl Adam you told me it was just as boys tonight it's me
[00:55:11] boyfriend no you know it's a it's an Easter egg yeah next episode Easter I
[00:55:20] want to pay attention to turn Mr.
[00:55:27] anyway and then apparently I found the real door and I woke up in the morning
[00:55:32] in the bathroom was just covered in piss on walls on the floor every way
[00:55:37] instead of his little image of Jack Skellington going into that clearing in
[00:55:42] the forest yeah so different trees but there's one that's just like with a
[00:55:45] hole for his cock yes standing there with his aunts on his hips getting his
[00:55:52] dick sucked through the tree for like 12 hours and then it's just him running
[00:55:57] back to the Halloween village like guys you got it I gotta see this fucking
[00:56:04] thing they're like doesn't bite off your dick he's like no it doesn't bite off
[00:56:08] your dick it sucks it and they're like well how's that scary like maybe on the
[00:56:14] other side of the trees man he's like no I'm pretty sure it's a hot girl on the
[00:56:20] other side of the tree maybe it's a hot girl that becomes a man and then you're
[00:56:26] actually gay oh spooky scary you're actually gay he's like I guess they'll
[00:56:33] never understand
[00:56:37] it's called getting your dicks up before Christmas getting your dick
[00:56:42] there it is yeah swish
[00:56:47] getting your dick it's a kids movie that's awesome that's a very good one man
[00:56:58] respect
[00:57:07] we are fucking gay we are fucking gay Nick is music this is the happiest I've
[00:57:15] ever seen it I've never seen you smile I'm like I'm I'm I'm I'm juiced up on trail
[00:57:23] mix you gotta get a new thing is trail mix every I gotta build him trail
[00:57:28] man yep it's I mean it's a home assembled trail I don't know why playing the
[00:57:32] hits feel so good sometimes just about just dialing it sometimes you're
[00:57:37] reeling in the ear sometimes you gotta get more I guess I'll never
[00:57:44] understand the magic of a glory all of putting your penis in a hole is these
[00:57:49] stupid Halloween assholes don't will never appreciate the magic they'll never
[00:57:54] know what's like maybe it's just the mental image of Jack Skellington like his
[00:57:59] pants still running through the snow the woods back to Halloween town
[00:58:04] everyone I've got great news what is it Jack is it a dead baby that got fucked
[00:58:12] through one of its eye sockets no god damn even for Halloween that's a little
[00:58:19] much I mean god fuck dude couldn't have been like a pumpkin or something oh my
[00:58:30] bad yeah well your girlfriend is you know a Frankenstein that gets fucked by
[00:58:34] your dad to Shay that's a good point to Shay very true but the pussy is one yeah
[00:58:44] the pussy is it's got a zipper on it
[00:58:48] the pussy is too big you can sip it down a little bit Jack you're back I thought
[00:58:54] maybe we could fucking the tower I'm a little suck dry
[00:58:59] these bones are dry tonight in fact I've changed my penis bone I'll tell
[00:59:10] everyone about it at the next town meeting Jack there's only 300 more days
[00:59:16] to the next Halloween and you've been getting your dick sucked in the woods
[00:59:22] mr. Mayor if you could just please understand it's more than about just
[00:59:28] getting your dick sucked there's a hole and you don't know who's on the other
[00:59:30] side of it
[00:59:34] how's that better than just getting your dick sucked you already have a pretty
[00:59:38] hot girlfriend Jack it's the spirit of Christmas or something that isn't the
[00:59:46] spirit of Christmas getting your dick sucked before Christmas yeah we kidnapped
[00:59:51] Santa Claus why oh I guess we got a forgot what movie we're in that's fine
[00:59:57] why don't we put on Dix in his mouth mr. Boogie Wookie kidnapped Santa oh I'm
[01:00:06] filled with calm I never saw that really what this is fucking classic dude I
[01:00:13] looked too scared I was just a job I was in a group chat I can't remember where
[01:00:17] it was I might have even have been on that fucking subreddit somebody added
[01:00:21] me to like a group chat on the subreddit oh well you're on the red is somebody
[01:00:25] somebody it's still one of the funniest things I've heard in the last like five
[01:00:30] years but they were like yeah there is a kid in my middle school that like wore
[01:00:34] all this like nightmare before Christmas ships obsessed with nightmare for
[01:00:37] Christmas then we found out that he hadn't even seen it because his mom
[01:00:40] thought it was too scary oh my god that's unbelievable the kid pretending to
[01:00:47] have seen a composer for nightmare
[01:00:50] Christmas okay that's rough yeah he was trying to get some fucking some some
[01:00:58] proto golf pussy mm-hmm getting your dick sucked before getting your deaths
[01:01:02] with all the kids in like the the like gay straight alliance in my high school
[01:01:07] would wear yeah yeah that in like invaders in course striped a lot of
[01:01:12] lot of strike yeah long-sleeve shirts yeah under yeah under like a black t-shirt
[01:01:17] a striped black and white striped shirt mm-hmm like a black girl loves like
[01:01:23] look at her with their like straight down yeah black girl that's into screamo
[01:01:27] with like yes yes lugs yes yeah like your your low plugs those kids look like
[01:01:33] that they're having a hair tie the best time yeah in hindsight they were ahead
[01:01:38] of the curve they knew who they were from the jump yeah you are a character I
[01:01:41] enjoyed doing on the show was the preacher that got really into the Joker
[01:01:45] yeah good point out that he understands it's very similar to his nightmare before
[01:01:52] Christmas face now friends I'm sure a lot of you are thinking how is this any
[01:02:02] different from your Jack Skellington error and I hear you on that but the
[01:02:08] Joker represents it's only it's only church and it's so different that's very
[01:02:18] funny my dick Duncan hot I am gay now so I guess this will be the day after the
[01:02:25] debate but I hope everyone enjoyed it hopefully Joey B came through fucking
[01:02:30] fist fist fought Donald Trump would be so mad if that happens and then this
[01:02:34] episode goes up after no but we're time sampling it is Yom Kippur right now
[01:02:39] Yom Kippur it is Monday Yom Kippur and the debate is tomorrow night we we
[01:02:45] shall see sirs we shall see what happens you've been getting into saying sir
[01:02:50] yeah I'm bringing it back you say sir a lot on text yeah I think it's it's nice
[01:02:55] to say to your friends you heard of black kids that of dude I hate it I hear a
[01:03:00] black kid say that I gotta be honest I had am I hate it you hate when I say I
[01:03:04] hate it all right listen I don't once okay I feel like I was saying bros too
[01:03:10] much and I'm saying sir a little bit more I don't know it seems like my sir
[01:03:14] went to the bodega who shark asked why would I hear a black kid say my sir I
[01:03:19] have no I have no it is the opposite of what they would I have no idea but that's
[01:03:23] what happened you are the bodega there is all right you've won there's a couple
[01:03:26] of kids a couple of kids on the way to school no as a matter of fact I've run
[01:03:31] out of those kind of ideas because I'm not taking public transit anymore and
[01:03:35] so therefore I cannot copy what black kids are saying and wearing that's a
[01:03:39] good point he's got you because I'm too afraid because of the coronavirus to
[01:03:43] ride the train counterpoint your gay all right sustained counselor yeah that's
[01:03:49] bullshit that was a that you're you're honest I'd like to file a motion to call
[01:03:53] you get young I'd like to see Marley Fowler motion to call approach approach
[01:04:00] the bench yeah well you can't come on sustained I would like it's stricken from
[01:04:04] the record that the defense is a straight man I don't believe that that's
[01:04:08] founded this is a part of so filed prior to today's hearing a motion to
[01:04:16] suppress his identity the only thing suppressed is is the other count shut up
[01:04:23] the other objection your gay all right it's not your turn I have the counselor
[01:04:29] Nick I have the gavel okay well now we're on Lord of the Flies the speaking
[01:04:34] conch your honor I would ask you to use your time to hammer to silence the other
[01:04:39] guy you're on a may I approach your big chair thing yes no I just forget a lot
[01:04:50] of the law stuff that's why I have I'm just a good I'm a good I'm a slick talk
[01:04:54] you know that's why they have me that I do the closing arguments they come
[01:04:59] a drop I actually I was removed from the bar I've been this bar I was just
[01:05:05] bought probably 15 years ago on account of my reckless driving in my Cadillac
[01:05:10] El Dorado BR it's which I drive it's just what I like to call slightly toasty
[01:05:18] where I have 13 brand is and then I smoke a blunt I drive around the great
[01:05:25] town of Jackson Mississippi yeah I go for a little toasty ride of my older
[01:05:32] auto BR it's and they bring me in for closing arguments because I'm I'm smooth
[01:05:38] velvety but I don't know none of that law shit anymore I don't drink the law
[01:05:44] right out my head you're on a ladies and gentlemen jury I don't even know what
[01:05:48] we're here for right now but I see a man sitting right there and they said he
[01:05:53] did what what's it say what's the charge 15 counts a position child how
[01:06:01] the fuck you gonna have 15 how you gonna how you gonna just have 15
[01:06:10] just crushing yeah yeah my man said what could the 15 counts by the time you
[01:06:18] done that it up the girl 75 years old that's that's just big
[01:06:26] could the members of the jury stop clapping and whooping yeah please show
[01:06:33] some decorum all right yes of the outcome this Matthew McConaughey
[01:06:41] loses that kid to the drunk to the drunk guy the club the crushes with
[01:06:46] black club comedy yeah look at my man laughing the mariano Rivera of Jackson
[01:06:54] Mississippi the sand man now if you excuse me I've got some getting trash
[01:07:02] to do my old Dorado be our each
[01:07:04] yeah fuck is that a real style of a Dorado yeah are you saying BRX because
[01:07:13] BR is a surf town and we'll be at each in France I believe shut the fuck up
[01:07:20] dude you know about surfing I'm just playing in my next life after the show
[01:07:24] you're not a surfer dude you never move to a small surf town you're not
[01:07:29] deciding between a couple right now what are the other options Puerto Escondito
[01:07:34] Mexico how about Puerto your dick in my
[01:07:39] seat okay come on where to your dick I don't need to have sex you're
[01:07:53] your business inside my ass is it all right yes I just want to find a small
[01:08:01] surfing where did he go oh no I said sorry my ass is it I got fucked in my
[01:08:08] ass so see dog where they need go oh nice in my ass is it delicious very good
[01:08:22] just somehow trick Joe Biden into thinking those are the words well my
[01:08:26] favorite songs is uh is actually asked us ass old cita his word the dick go and
[01:08:33] I said my ass is it look you got kids they're growing up inside different
[01:08:37] ways and so 15 different you got you got a guy driving down the street saying
[01:08:42] that he's he's looking for a job well the jobs they're looking they're coming up
[01:08:46] every which way from Sunday
[01:08:50] so my people yes my penis so my ass oh
[01:08:59] why didn't you buy this should should tell Trump he's he's acting old guy if I
[01:09:05] don't know any better I'll tell you don't lose him Jack if you're from
[01:09:09] Scranton from from my town is what a gay guy says is he from Scranton yeah it's
[01:09:15] from sweet says but it is even Delaware yeah he's the he's the president
[01:09:19] the other way in place we really shouldn't have a president we should have a
[01:09:24] general secretary okay I think we should have a general lease you know she'd be
[01:09:28] Debbie Wasserman Schultz as a general the general secretary let's bring that
[01:09:34] chick back mm-hmm fuck that bitch she said my man Bernie up mmm stop throwing
[01:09:40] shells don't tell me what to do get the shells out of your fucking house we're
[01:09:44] done two episodes today and we're getting into silly season right now we're
[01:09:49] throwing shells we're calling each other home section this is the good part of
[01:09:52] the vacation vacation all I want me take the pranking too far
[01:09:57] lose to get my dicks are saying you put say in the Adams contact there was an
[01:10:04] insidney Australia I was like I was mad at Nick what did I do you're just you're
[01:10:09] pranking too hard yeah it does go too far I get it got a little it was like
[01:10:14] come on bro I can't even open my mouth without you being like Faggot and I
[01:10:20] like it's day four of this yeah just crushing him with the car seat what
[01:10:25] was that yeah yeah I'm like I don't know how it works pushing me into things in
[01:10:31] Japan stomping on his feet in the train well that was because he started it but
[01:10:36] that was hilarious because no I don't know me you were trying to fucking hook my
[01:10:41] ankle yeah well that was funny it was funny because you I was doing a sad man
[01:10:45] I was doing a sad man there was a lot of there was prank and going back and
[01:10:48] no but what I'm saying is you kick the hornets nest and he was like all right
[01:10:52] here you got to be on the road with me for a month here's what I'm saying though
[01:10:55] is Adam thought wrongly that Nick would respect Japanese code of ethics yeah so
[01:11:02] he hooked your he hooked your foot right before we got on the train thinking once
[01:11:07] we're on the train you're gonna respect how orderly yeah because he's supposed to
[01:11:11] be respect to room on the train we know that we know that we know that we know
[01:11:14] that we had Nick was out for blood and he started stomping on your feet and
[01:11:19] every Japanese person was terrified there was a homeless guy on his knees on a
[01:11:24] cushion masturbating into a bento box and he was like I could not believe it
[01:11:32] the best I remember there's one time I was on an escalator and I was like
[01:11:36] leaning over to shove my ass in someone's face yes and then we said Japanese like
[01:11:41] an elderly Japanese woman right behind us it was so fucking bad
[01:11:47] just disrespected these people their own country with a finger ass yeah but
[01:11:54] like you know when them what she doing on her way to buy hand tie or something
[01:11:58] I'm gonna give a shit yeah but yeah this pedophile old ass this old pedophile
[01:12:03] bitch I mean she wanted to buy some hand time could have been getting tea but I
[01:12:06] you should probably was buying a gift for a hand tie without tea that's true
[01:12:11] you know you got it just the one letter yeah just it is funny to imagine them
[01:12:16] over there like sitting cross-legged on the floor watching hand tie mm-hmm
[01:12:20] yeah well no they probably just go to the rental place the jack off to it yeah
[01:12:25] that one place that wouldn't let us in remember yeah when was that you weren't
[01:12:29] there you weren't there the way we went to the porn you know you went out you
[01:12:35] left town with your girlfriend that you you made us all go to Tokyo and then
[01:12:39] secretly planned a separate trip we went away for one night quiet this whole
[01:12:44] Tokyo was you there for a mr. Spock put your hand to make the V thing in my ass
[01:12:49] I don't have to defend that anymore all right that's gonna do for us folks
[01:12:56] just mark do that be shit put the V in my hands mr. Spock do the live long and
[01:13:03] be a mr. Spock put your hand in my ass and do the V
[01:13:07] spread by and so little bit with the V thing anything for you captain whatever
[01:13:15] you say captain all right the most obvious I be da biz come see me on tour this
[01:13:19] October we're in Philly this weekend as a Vulcan I don't see a reason not to do
[01:13:24] homosexual acts because it's just bodies what's I had a guy had a bisexual guy
[01:13:30] try to make that argument like it's just bodies it's just pleasure what the
[01:13:34] fuck does it matter so yeah I don't want doesn't give me pleasure well it's like
[01:13:38] okay well then have sex with your mother god of dude not did now he's not
[01:13:47] gay now he's straight this is back in my Christian my Christian days he's
[01:13:52] straight and he's been fucking his mom back on our good door to door fixing
[01:13:57] people debating people in this you would you hope his witness no actually I'm a
[01:14:02] Judeo Christian logician alright all right bye folks that skateboarding guy is
[01:14:09] now asking people for money Tony Hall the tick-tock guy that lip syncs to
[01:14:15] let me talk about the Mexican guy on the skateboard that I guess you're talking
[01:14:20] about that's the show all right bye guys take care yeah the record