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Ep. 237 - Roddendirty

Cum Town | Regular | 12/09/2020

[00:00:00] How the rights to Flint
[00:00:05] most
[00:00:07] pretty
[00:00:15] would make movement.
[00:00:16] Dower, do me and yeah.
[00:00:18] What if I just had a stroke?
[00:00:20] That'd be awesome.
[00:00:21] What if I just forgot how to speak?
[00:00:24] And then we were just like, all right dude, just for an hour.
[00:00:26] Come on.
[00:00:27] Yeah, they need you.
[00:00:28] Are you okay?
[00:00:29] Are you having a stroke?
[00:00:30] You're a fan.
[00:00:31] I'm too lazy to speak normal.
[00:00:33] I'm a dude.
[00:00:34] No.
[00:00:35] Dude, you got that.
[00:00:36] I'm too lazy to read that.
[00:00:40] Bet the yada yada yada.
[00:00:42] I bought, I bought, like the way baby sometimes.
[00:00:44] Did you ever fucking see that?
[00:00:45] Babies trying to do the-
[00:00:47] Yeah, but they try to talk.
[00:00:48] It's very cute.
[00:00:49] They do the fucking, like they do the rhythms of talking.
[00:00:51] They try to do the-
[00:00:52] Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
[00:00:54] Yeah, awesome.
[00:00:55] So cute.
[00:00:56] Hey, Goo Goo fucking gaga.
[00:00:58] Okay.
[00:00:59] Smoking a cigar, having a C section.
[00:01:02] Shit, I wish you'd get cigars.
[00:01:04] Yeah, we should.
[00:01:05] I'm trying to smoke a fucking stog.
[00:01:07] You smoke a fat stoggy?
[00:01:09] Um, come on man.
[00:01:11] I had one nice cigar once and it made sense why people-
[00:01:15] Where?
[00:01:16] Where's them?
[00:01:17] Someone had a kubana.
[00:01:19] Someone was based all from someone's dad.
[00:01:23] When?
[00:01:24] Um, over the summer.
[00:01:25] This summer?
[00:01:26] Yeah.
[00:01:27] Wow, look at you.
[00:01:28] Not bad.
[00:01:29] Smoking Cubans, you didn't even tell us.
[00:01:30] I didn't know that, I didn't, I don't know, I've never been a cigar man.
[00:01:33] In high school, I used to smoke blackened mildes.
[00:01:37] Everybody did.
[00:01:38] Um, and I thought that that was luxury.
[00:01:40] Blackened mild, swisher sweet.
[00:01:43] I thought it was, that's how, that's how Caribbean businessmen enjoy their afternoons.
[00:01:50] Yeah, we've been over this, the wooden tip, that was luxury.
[00:01:53] The blackened mild wooden tip.
[00:01:54] Yeah, they feel like Hunter S. Tomerson.
[00:01:56] Aren't they plastic?
[00:01:57] No, but that's what I'm saying.
[00:01:58] They had like an upscale version that had a wooden tip.
[00:02:01] Oh, I never had that.
[00:02:02] You never had that?
[00:02:03] Like a broke fucking idiot.
[00:02:05] A woodland creature would smoke.
[00:02:06] Exactly.
[00:02:07] Like a little fat little squirrel.
[00:02:08] Some kind of, yeah, some kind of like goat pedophile.
[00:02:11] Oh, not, not, not the goat pedophile.
[00:02:15] You blow into his pan flute and smoke his wood tip to blackened mild and then lure our
[00:02:19] children into the woods.
[00:02:20] Why?
[00:02:21] No, he's just horny for regular women.
[00:02:22] You should get goat legs.
[00:02:23] That's how it looks.
[00:02:24] That's what I was imagining.
[00:02:26] Me?
[00:02:27] The stov is puck.
[00:02:28] Puck?
[00:02:29] From Midsummer's Night Dream?
[00:02:30] Yeah, Midsummer's tight cream.
[00:02:33] Midsummer's Night, tight peen.
[00:02:36] Midsummer's tight jeans and it's a bunch of Shakespearean guys wearing very tight jeans.
[00:02:41] You can see the balls are like, Dothar see my penis.
[00:02:45] Dothar see my print.
[00:02:46] My lines, my outlines.
[00:02:51] My luscious and in salubrious outlines shall dance upon my thigh and trace down the piss
[00:02:59] as it runs.
[00:03:02] As it stains dark my blue jeans.
[00:03:05] My daughter.
[00:03:06] My blue jeans.
[00:03:07] My blue jeans die dark with the stains of urine as they make their way down my constricted
[00:03:14] and turgid tight legs and into my ankles and it fills my shoes with the scent and weight
[00:03:24] of a thousand pisses and the piss of autumn.
[00:03:28] I don't have to look at Shakespearean.
[00:03:31] That's good.
[00:03:32] You did very well.
[00:03:33] Both thou eyes present to me a picture of a big pair of tits that I may get.
[00:03:40] Or that I may find myself completely wrecked inside my tight jeans and the jeans, the
[00:03:49] pressure, they shall make me come.
[00:03:53] And I shall bust.
[00:03:54] And I have to bust it.
[00:03:56] And I have to bust it.
[00:03:57] In my jeans.
[00:03:58] How bust now they're good, sir.
[00:04:02] How bust now they're good, sir.
[00:04:04] Upon my visage.
[00:04:05] Upon my visage.
[00:04:06] Thou busteth in pleasure.
[00:04:07] Thou busteth in sin.
[00:04:09] Thou busteth in duty.
[00:04:12] And thou leave thy bust upon my lips.
[00:04:24] Upon mine arse cheeks.
[00:04:26] Upon mine arse cheeks to dry.
[00:04:31] And peel it off like Elmer's blue.
[00:04:33] And to dry in the brisk breath of Uncle Winter's disdain for our devilish triss of the mates
[00:04:46] of gender shall he do say the good Lord this is an abomination.
[00:04:53] This is disgusting.
[00:04:55] Mine eyes.
[00:04:57] Felt upon the dried bust peeled off like paper mache.
[00:05:03] And shall eyes one eye chapter twelve.
[00:05:11] Yeah, dude.
[00:05:13] The confessions of St. Augustine chapter twelve.
[00:05:18] Oh good Lord, when you look down upon me as I bend at the knee and hip to receive thine
[00:05:26] good graces upon my pucadinas.
[00:05:33] My eyes shall fall upon my reflection in the spatune as I've bent over like a bovine in
[00:05:41] repose waiting for the load of the Lord to wash upon my anus and dry out the sins of
[00:05:51] defecation.
[00:05:57] Left is less morsels upon.
[00:05:58] My hemorotic lines of swollen vascularity around my hands.
[00:06:06] Each one representing hidden desires buried deep in me, O Lord, and I took your grace into
[00:06:14] my ass.
[00:06:15] Into mine own ass.
[00:06:17] I have become fucked into mine own ass.
[00:06:20] So Lord, I confess I have never felt such girth in pleasure as brought to me by the Lord.
[00:06:31] As each not of the rosary entered my body, I St. Augustine's diaries were discovered
[00:06:38] after his execution of sexuality.
[00:06:49] And fifteen of thou men shed van where we lived in fuckeder Lord.
[00:06:57] And I knew that the gas tank was filled not gently.
[00:07:00] Hey, Ollie, you still doing your gay ass little fucking...
[00:07:03] I'm going to...
[00:07:04] I'm going to buy my book!
[00:07:05] Get the fuck out!
[00:07:06] Come on, yo!
[00:07:07] Come on, yo!
[00:07:08] The fucking ravens is playing, yo, with that gay shit.
[00:07:13] We can hear you from in here, yo!
[00:07:15] And my roommate from Dundalk, then yelled at me and I would tell him I am busy testifying
[00:07:25] to the grace of the Lord.
[00:07:27] He's in there doing some gay shit.
[00:07:28] He says he thinks he's having a sexual guard, yo.
[00:07:31] Oh, no, man.
[00:07:33] But the thing is, when he's asleep, we fucking rob him.
[00:07:36] So don't even fucking matter.
[00:07:37] He's rich or something shit.
[00:07:38] I got his debit card.
[00:07:39] I got pictures of his debit card.
[00:07:41] He was dead.
[00:07:42] He was the academy.
[00:07:43] The confessions of St. Augustine, chapter 14.
[00:07:46] And one time I got hard at Suncoast Video, looking at a novelty t-shirt of Stewie Griffin
[00:07:53] and I thought of you all over.
[00:07:55] I thought to myself, Shao, what a two-eye confess.
[00:08:02] The scene of homosexuality or pedophilia, or does it not matter because Stewie's presentation
[00:08:09] is so far removed from that of an actual charm.
[00:08:14] Of an actual human at all that it could just be the Lord's grace of artistic divinity.
[00:08:22] And what I experienced was not sexual attraction to a forbidden class, more so in appreciation
[00:08:31] for mankind's gift of art that channels through basically what I'm getting at.
[00:08:41] I get it.
[00:08:42] Do you?
[00:08:43] Yeah.
[00:08:44] Then why don't we let a wider...
[00:08:45] Go ahead and say even one thing.
[00:08:48] Contributive.
[00:08:49] I'm an illustrator to let my dear friend...
[00:08:53] No, I got what you were saying.
[00:08:56] For just for once, maybe possibly.
[00:08:59] Even one.
[00:09:00] No, he was just saying that...
[00:09:04] Oh, so not only you not going to be a part of the bit, you're going to mid-bit explain
[00:09:10] it.
[00:09:11] I don't know why I said I get it, but I felt him on that.
[00:09:16] Not that he actually wants to fuck.
[00:09:17] Because you've gotten an already-correction.
[00:09:18] You've gotten an already-correction.
[00:09:19] No, but he was getting hard at man's accomplishment.
[00:09:22] Right.
[00:09:23] What happened when we were driving?
[00:09:24] We were passed by the...
[00:09:25] Oh, yeah.
[00:09:26] The ski resort.
[00:09:27] The ski resort.
[00:09:28] No, come on.
[00:09:29] Is catamount?
[00:09:30] Catamount.
[00:09:31] I said I've heard that name before.
[00:09:33] Well, we have heard about that.
[00:09:36] No, it was like what was...
[00:09:38] Catamount is a ski resort is what Nick said.
[00:09:40] And then you said, I know I've heard the name before.
[00:09:43] Yeah, that's not right.
[00:09:45] It's clearly a ski.
[00:09:48] There's fucking slopes.
[00:09:49] Right.
[00:09:50] I'm like, oh shit, we could be skiing right now.
[00:09:53] There's any snow.
[00:09:55] And then you said after that, oh, that's a ski resort.
[00:09:59] Yeah.
[00:10:00] Catamount.
[00:10:01] Catamount.
[00:10:02] I've heard the name.
[00:10:03] No, I've heard the name before.
[00:10:04] Not even I've heard the place.
[00:10:06] I've heard that referred to before.
[00:10:10] I've heard that name.
[00:10:11] What an awesome thing to brag about.
[00:10:15] Yeah, no, that...
[00:10:20] I mean, I have some notes here.
[00:10:23] All I have is stick another dig.
[00:10:25] Stick another...
[00:10:26] Oh, there it is.
[00:10:27] Stick another dig.
[00:10:28] Stick another dig.
[00:10:29] I'm shaking my ass.
[00:10:30] I'm gay.
[00:10:31] That's what I got.
[00:10:34] So for this episode, your notes from lunch.
[00:10:36] I also have the door doesn't close.
[00:10:38] You have to lock it, which is what you said after.
[00:10:41] You left the front door wide open.
[00:10:44] Can we address something from lunch, Nick?
[00:10:47] What's that?
[00:10:48] Okay, when the old man dropped his $20 bill and I said, sir...
[00:10:52] Hold on, I'm dealing with some right now.
[00:10:54] All right.
[00:10:55] Fucking bullshit.
[00:10:56] Stick another dig.
[00:10:58] I'm taking over the old man dropped $20.
[00:11:02] Outside of the French sandwich place.
[00:11:04] Why don't we wait until Nick is done?
[00:11:07] No, you can go ahead.
[00:11:08] I was just going to sing again.
[00:11:10] No, no, I wanted to address it all you wanted.
[00:11:14] I wanted to address your snickering and I wanted you to finally explain to me why it
[00:11:19] was so funny.
[00:11:20] Oh, said I told the old man...
[00:11:22] I said, sir, you dropped his $20.
[00:11:23] He was already touching.
[00:11:24] He'd already been over and he was touching.
[00:11:26] That's not true.
[00:11:27] I was there and then Adam was like, sir, you dropped her.
[00:11:31] That is true.
[00:11:32] I watched it and it was stupid.
[00:11:33] No, he dropped.
[00:11:34] I said, sir, you dropped $20.
[00:11:35] He was already bending down.
[00:11:37] Yeah, you're underplaying.
[00:11:38] Well, he's an old guy.
[00:11:39] I would have figured it out.
[00:11:40] I would have picked it up and then maybe taken a fine recipe or something.
[00:11:43] No, no, you would have just gotten the points from being a good guy.
[00:11:46] Yeah, I was just...
[00:11:47] You're mad that he stole your good guy from...
[00:11:48] No, he was an old man and I don't think he recognized that he dropped $20.
[00:11:53] You already dropped things all the time.
[00:11:55] He was already retrieving it.
[00:11:57] He wasn't saying...
[00:11:58] He wasn't already retrieving it.
[00:11:59] I said it before.
[00:12:00] Okay, how about this?
[00:12:01] Do you think if you hadn't said anything, it would have changed the way that man behaved?
[00:12:07] I didn't know that he had noticed.
[00:12:09] No.
[00:12:10] The answer is no.
[00:12:11] It was a completely gratuitous...
[00:12:13] What's the word?
[00:12:17] I'm like a gratuitous declaration of dropping.
[00:12:21] Announcement of dropping.
[00:12:23] I was just trying to be polite.
[00:12:25] Hold on, what's a good word?
[00:12:27] A gratuitous...
[00:12:28] I don't know what you're trying to say.
[00:12:35] If you tell somebody something...
[00:12:37] What is it called when you...
[00:12:42] Announcement, maybe announcement.
[00:12:43] A gratuitous announcement of dropping is...
[00:12:47] There's still some other word that I'm looking for.
[00:12:49] The point is...
[00:12:50] The point is I said, sir, you dropped $20 and the nicks snicker at me because it was
[00:12:55] funny.
[00:12:56] And then had to turn around.
[00:12:57] He was already touching the money.
[00:13:00] He wasn't already touching the money.
[00:13:01] Yeah, he was.
[00:13:02] No, I said it to him before he met.
[00:13:04] It really had him.
[00:13:05] But he had as an impartial observer who didn't laugh at you but in my head quietly thought
[00:13:10] that was fucking gay.
[00:13:11] He thought it quietly.
[00:13:12] He thought it was...
[00:13:13] Quietly to myself without making...
[00:13:15] Unless somebody had to make a big deal of it and make Nick look like he was in the wrong,
[00:13:21] whereas make sure you've laughed audibly, maybe not because maybe the old man thought
[00:13:24] he was laughing at him.
[00:13:26] But did you deserve to be laughed at?
[00:13:28] Sure, absolutely.
[00:13:29] Well, I spoke to the old man later.
[00:13:31] I said, don't...
[00:13:32] I just want to let you know that my friend was laughing at me, not at you.
[00:13:36] No, you didn't.
[00:13:37] Yeah, I did.
[00:13:38] When?
[00:13:40] After Nick went to the W at E.B. De Bois Rare Book Shop, it was closed.
[00:13:46] So you're lying because I tried to go.
[00:13:47] I tried to go there too.
[00:13:48] I think all three of us tried to go in the middle of the first.
[00:13:52] I tried to go there.
[00:13:53] Fellas E.B. De Bois.
[00:13:55] I'm really fucking gay and I want to have sex.
[00:13:58] Destiny's Child?
[00:13:59] Yeah, that's pretty good.
[00:14:00] Fellas E.B. De Bois.
[00:14:05] Is it De Bois or De Bois?
[00:14:08] I think either way.
[00:14:09] Either way.
[00:14:10] W.E.B. De Bois.
[00:14:12] W.E.B. De Bois.
[00:14:14] Adam D. Friedland, De Bois.
[00:14:19] Yeah.
[00:14:21] It's pretty good.
[00:14:22] Thank you.
[00:14:23] Fellas E.B. De Bois.
[00:14:25] I'm walking home and I'm also happy to be gay.
[00:14:30] I thought it was that song, girl.
[00:14:33] The club is full of ballers and their pockets full of ballers.
[00:14:37] What's the next line?
[00:14:39] That song pisses me off.
[00:14:41] Why?
[00:14:42] Because you go out and cheat, ladies.
[00:14:44] Because the guy's doing money.
[00:14:47] If they have more money than your boy and it ain't cheating.
[00:14:51] If the dick is of a higher tax bracket, then your fucking
[00:14:42] Your fiance told me that men with more money are of a higher caliber more worthy.
[00:15:04] And that's what the feminists should always have your head on a swivel because all pussy
[00:15:10] knows is trading up to that next cock that's going to be his paycheck.
[00:15:14] Right.
[00:15:15] And also in that other song that had when they said, Audemow Bills, that's not a word.
[00:15:20] Can you suck my dick?
[00:15:22] Can you suck my little ass dick?
[00:15:24] Can you suck my dick?
[00:15:26] Exactly.
[00:15:27] Can you pick what's that?
[00:15:32] I forget.
[00:15:33] I only know key parts of their songs, but not the whole thing.
[00:15:35] I hate this shit dude.
[00:15:37] Just do it after a shit.
[00:15:38] I gotta do it now.
[00:15:41] I gotta send this fucking email now.
[00:15:42] I don't think you do man.
[00:15:44] Can you suck my dick?
[00:15:45] Can you suck my little ass dick?
[00:15:47] Yeah, they of course had another hit, Survivor song.
[00:15:50] I have a penis, but it is very, but it is so small.
[00:15:55] Everyone hates it when I pull it out.
[00:15:58] I have a penis.
[00:16:00] Now I got the littlest dick that you have seen.
[00:16:04] Everybody doesn't want to suck it because it's green.
[00:16:07] My dick is fucking ugly and it smells like shit.
[00:16:11] Everybody hates when they have to suck it.
[00:16:13] I have a small dick.
[00:16:15] Nobody likes it.
[00:16:17] I'm going to fuck some other guys now because I am gay and my dick is small.
[00:16:24] I don't want pussy.
[00:16:26] I am a homo.
[00:16:27] Oftentimes the songs are about how a man is forced into homosexuality because of the
[00:16:33] back that is cute at least too small.
[00:16:35] We are talking about them.
[00:16:37] We are talking about them.
[00:16:38] We are talking about them.
[00:16:39] We are talking about them.
[00:16:40] We are talking about Michael Juice.
[00:16:42] Yeah, Michael Juice.
[00:16:43] We talk about St. Augustine.
[00:16:46] Oh, I'll show you all on painters.
[00:16:51] Everybody wants to say it.
[00:16:55] Say it in Augustine.
[00:16:57] He is like Christian, but I don't feel esophical or something.
[00:17:02] I don't fucking know.
[00:17:03] He asked me some fucking stupid words about theology.
[00:17:07] The only thing I know about God and shit like that is that in Greek Orthodoxy, Santa is
[00:17:13] actually Saint Vasilios.
[00:17:16] It's not Saint Nick.
[00:17:18] I use Vasilis.
[00:17:21] That's the only thing you know about God.
[00:17:23] That's the only thing I remember about Santa.
[00:17:25] I remember that.
[00:17:26] Santa has a different name in the Greek, you know, whatever.
[00:17:29] What did he wear?
[00:17:33] Like a red, same shit, same.
[00:17:36] We just called him Saint Billy.
[00:17:39] I don't know who fuck Saint.
[00:17:41] I use Vasilis.
[00:17:42] Vasilis is like Bill.
[00:17:43] He has the same origin story and everything.
[00:17:45] I don't fucking know, dude.
[00:17:47] You didn't ask?
[00:17:48] No, I forgot.
[00:17:50] Do you have elves?
[00:17:51] I guess.
[00:17:52] I just know he has a different name.
[00:17:56] I don't think he's either one of them, honestly.
[00:17:57] Saint Nick in Greek Orthodoxy is just a guy that was good at speeches.
[00:18:03] I think he was like Turkish or from Asia Minor or some shit.
[00:18:07] That's whack.
[00:18:08] I think every Christian, every saint, every early saint was Middle Eastern.
[00:18:12] Yeah.
[00:18:13] The whole Bible is just a novele.
[00:18:14] Jesus was Middle Eastern.
[00:18:15] Yeah.
[00:18:16] I'm going to pause this for a second because I have to bitch about something there.
[00:18:20] Okay.
[00:18:21] Okay.
[00:18:22] And we're back.
[00:18:24] And we're back.
[00:18:26] Jesus.
[00:18:27] I tell you, being a businessman is the hardest job in the world.
[00:18:32] It's difficult to be a small business owner.
[00:18:37] Being a fucking small business owner.
[00:18:38] It is funny because they should call it instead of small, the word should be pretend.
[00:18:43] Yeah.
[00:18:44] Fake business owner.
[00:18:45] Yeah.
[00:18:46] Because a lot of being a small business owner is like, I got to go to Staples.
[00:18:50] Yeah.
[00:18:51] I'm going to have to buy a stapler.
[00:18:53] I'm going to have to justify.
[00:18:55] I'm going to have to get a website I don't need that no one will use and spend three
[00:18:59] weeks.
[00:19:00] Unless you're on like a restaurant or something.
[00:19:02] Yeah.
[00:19:03] That's a real business.
[00:19:04] Yeah.
[00:19:05] You're on a diner.
[00:19:06] You're on a diner.
[00:19:07] You got to fucking harass the...
[00:19:08] You got to harass that kid.
[00:19:09] We should all...
[00:19:10] We should all move up here and all just have failing businesses.
[00:19:11] That would be awesome.
[00:19:12] That would be awesome.
[00:19:13] Let's try to start something later.
[00:19:14] We want to do a podcast money through.
[00:19:15] Yeah.
[00:19:16] Because it's illegal to have a podcast.
[00:19:17] Yeah.
[00:19:18] Well, it will be the way we're going to do it.
[00:19:20] The way we do it, folks.
[00:19:22] Well, Officer Kamala is not going to be too happy to the describing the child's penis
[00:19:26] pod.
[00:19:27] It's in the Supreme Court.
[00:19:30] Yeah.
[00:19:31] And where they're like...
[00:19:32] Like I went...
[00:19:34] You know, at a certain point, the description becomes so vivid that it basically is child-borne
[00:19:40] to a blind person.
[00:19:43] It's a joke, your honor.
[00:19:46] It wouldn't be funny if someone did actually do this.
[00:19:49] Is why they're laughing.
[00:19:50] It's comedy.
[00:19:51] And so what?
[00:19:52] Blind people aren't allowed to have a laugh.
[00:19:55] They're not allowed to cry.
[00:19:58] They're not allowed to love.
[00:20:00] Didn't we just go through this with deaf people in this very court?
[00:20:04] That's right.
[00:20:06] The highest in the land.
[00:20:07] The most supreme, of course.
[00:20:08] Heard the case of the deaf guy laughing at his own penis versus the government versus
[00:20:16] the people.
[00:20:18] And the deaf guy... what would a deaf...
[00:20:21] I guess they would just look at child pornography.
[00:20:24] Yeah.
[00:20:25] But the sound was off your own.
[00:20:28] It's only half a crime.
[00:20:30] It's only half a crime.
[00:20:31] That's true.
[00:20:32] Is it a crime to listen to it?
[00:20:34] I would think...
[00:20:35] Imagine you're a blind pedophile and you're just like, you got headphones on and you're
[00:20:41] like, yes.
[00:20:42] I'm like, oh, I'm a pedophile.
[00:20:49] I'm like, Mike doesn't know how lucky he has it.
[00:20:52] The ultimate loop.
[00:20:53] Just a looped up baby.
[00:20:55] Those sounds.
[00:20:56] I bet you it probably still would be illegal.
[00:20:59] But it probably wouldn't be illegal to do like a radio play version of it where you just
[00:21:04] have a fake, someone crying and then like a pocket pussy getting fucked by a cucumber.
[00:21:10] Well, Nick was saying he wants to do a radio play.
[00:21:13] That might be our whole new...
[00:21:16] That might be our whole next demographic.
[00:21:18] Just describe who child pornography is.
[00:21:21] Just pray.
[00:21:22] I drove to the school.
[00:21:27] I would love to be like the fucking Gideon verse Wayne right.
[00:21:33] Of like the visual description, vivid descriptions of something illegal to look at.
[00:21:41] Yep.
[00:21:43] I'm an advocate, Your Honor, for people with disabilities.
[00:21:46] Your Honor, I'm just a simple dipshit with a radio show.
[00:21:50] Your Honor, I'm just some fucking asshole piece of shit.
[00:21:53] I'm just a dumb piece of shit that pretended to be recording child pornography already
[00:21:58] in me.
[00:21:59] Your Honor, I may just be a fucking retard.
[00:22:03] But I'm a retard with a hard penis.
[00:22:06] I'm a guy...
[00:22:08] Or you gamble?
[00:22:09] I certainly have a nice suit.
[00:22:11] Or I don't know.
[00:22:12] I want a...
[00:22:13] What?
[00:22:14] A gamble?
[00:22:15] No, I was saying.
[00:22:16] But I'm a retard with a hard penis or a gambles or something.
[00:22:17] Your retard who wants to shave his penis.
[00:22:18] Who wants to shave his penis?
[00:22:20] Oh, right.
[00:22:22] Your Honor, I'm a simple country retard with a hair penis.
[00:22:29] It is until I got the lawnmower with 3.0.
[00:22:34] Manscaped.com.
[00:22:35] Manscaped.com.
[00:22:36] They actually did a taste test.
[00:22:38] They got blind pedophiles.
[00:22:40] And it shaves your pubes so close to the skin that they were letting...
[00:22:45] They were having blind pedophiles suck off the small post in their...
[00:22:48] Yeah, and they were like, it's a baby.
[00:22:50] It's just like a baby.
[00:22:52] They called it the Pepsi Challenge.
[00:22:54] Manscaped.
[00:22:55] Shave their cock so tight.
[00:22:57] So good.
[00:22:58] It looks like it's to a blind pedophile.
[00:23:01] It tastes just like a baby's penis.
[00:23:03] No, we're all trying to get those babies.
[00:23:05] That's right.
[00:23:06] And we want to congratulate Adam Frex, being the pilot.
[00:23:09] Mr. Magoofy.
[00:23:10] Of the...
[00:23:11] Yeah.
[00:23:12] We were talking about...
[00:23:13] That was sort of off the show thing.
[00:23:14] We were talking about a guy teaching kids how to skate goofy.
[00:23:16] Oh, yeah.
[00:23:17] A pedophile.
[00:23:18] But it's a pedophile.
[00:23:19] A neighborhood pedophile.
[00:23:20] So the kids were like...
[00:23:21] Mr. Stevens told me how to skate goofy.
[00:23:24] And they were like, that sounds normal.
[00:23:25] It's not a type of skateboarding.
[00:23:27] Exactly.
[00:23:28] And then you take off all your clothes.
[00:23:30] Take off all your clothes, Benjamin.
[00:23:32] Don't you want to be cool and school?
[00:23:35] Wasn't that an episode of Smart Guy?
[00:23:38] Yes.
[00:23:39] The pedophile.
[00:23:40] But he went video game.
[00:23:41] So you had to surf naked.
[00:23:43] What's the smart guy?
[00:23:44] The surf VR game.
[00:23:45] It's too soon.
[00:23:46] He was the...
[00:23:47] He was the most little brother in the history.
[00:23:48] The Todd Showery's show.
[00:23:49] Oh.
[00:23:50] Yeah.
[00:23:51] And there's a pedophile episode where he tries to get them to surf naked.
[00:23:53] We are sucking penis.
[00:23:56] In the 90s kind of world.
[00:23:59] I'm glad I can shave my balls and dick with Manscaped lawn mower 3.0.
[00:24:04] Supremeian electric trimmer that's designed to give you confidence in the bench.
[00:24:09] You love Manscaped lawn mower 3.0.
[00:24:12] If you love having sex, then you'll love having sex.
[00:24:18] If you like having sex with your own body sexually, sex style.
[00:24:24] I love sex.
[00:24:25] If you love sex style penis.
[00:24:27] Oh yeah.
[00:24:28] Which is shaved by the way.
[00:24:29] That's what a sex style penis had the wrong comment.
[00:24:32] That's right.
[00:24:33] Oh yeah.
[00:24:34] We don't even need copy because we love the product so much.
[00:24:36] You got to hear this for our Brace Yourself Winters coming.
[00:24:39] Oh, that's right.
[00:24:40] Oh man.
[00:24:41] Do I miss game?
[00:24:42] Me too, man.
[00:24:43] I really miss it.
[00:24:46] You know, in the grand scheme of things, that's not as bad as...
[00:24:50] Oh no, no.
[00:24:51] I think there's a joke later in it that's not bad.
[00:24:54] It's that brand is in the wheel to turn it into a...
[00:24:56] Right, because that's not a bad joke.
[00:24:57] He's big here, he's too overgrown.
[00:24:59] Yes, it's...
[00:25:00] I like that.
[00:25:01] No, because he ever returned himself.
[00:25:02] Trying to trim.
[00:25:03] Oh.
[00:25:04] Autumn is in the air and Manscaped is here to ensure you don't carve your pumpkins when
[00:25:07] you're grooming.
[00:25:08] That's not a bad one.
[00:25:09] That's true, sir.
[00:25:10] All right.
[00:25:11] Okay, they have an okay copywriter.
[00:25:12] That's right.
[00:25:13] Yeah.
[00:25:14] Shut up to them.
[00:25:15] Yeah.
[00:25:16] I mean, actually we wrote this.
[00:25:17] Maybe some of their other...
[00:25:18] We're not even reading anything.
[00:25:19] Oh no, sorry.
[00:25:20] They ruined it.
[00:25:21] By pumpkins, we actually mean your boys downstairs.
[00:25:22] Oh, okay.
[00:25:23] That's the atom.
[00:25:24] There's a guy there.
[00:25:25] Yeah, that was...
[00:25:26] It works their name, Dad.
[00:25:27] I see.
[00:25:28] It was like, there was like, oh, pumpkin.
[00:25:30] He means Amy.
[00:25:31] He's testing.
[00:25:32] He's when his co-workers deliberately write a joke and he's like, wait, I think there's
[00:25:37] a joke there.
[00:25:38] Yeah.
[00:25:39] Don't be the boy downstairs.
[00:25:42] Mm-hmm.
[00:25:43] It's funny, because boy downstairs is also going on with that...
[00:25:48] The blue pedophile.
[00:25:49] Yeah, exactly.
[00:25:50] Yeah.
[00:25:51] I got the boys downstairs.
[00:25:52] Oh, I got to take care of my boys.
[00:25:53] They're downstairs.
[00:25:54] I remember they were always thinking, he's talking about shaving his balls.
[00:25:56] But it means fucking the chill sex slaves in his basement.
[00:25:59] Yeah, Jake Gyllenhaal and Zodiac.
[00:26:00] And he's like, he has a basement.
[00:26:02] He has the only house with a basement in San Francisco.
[00:26:04] Whoa.
[00:26:05] It's the St. Augustine house.
[00:26:09] My lord and creator I had.
[00:26:12] I had a basement built for the sole purpose of committing sins closer to hell.
[00:26:21] I would have wondered if undoubtedly I end up, oh lord, I love these penis and I can't
[00:26:30] wait to drink penis.
[00:26:33] I can't wait to have sex.
[00:26:36] And drink your smooth comb out of your smooth penis that's been shaved by the lawnmower.
[00:26:42] And by coming and going, it brought to my mind other ideas and remembrances.
[00:26:47] Like having sex.
[00:26:48] The chucky cheese.
[00:26:51] And little by so easily penetrated to the quick example.
[00:26:58] Wow.
[00:26:59] You don't even have to shave.
[00:27:01] You don't.
[00:27:02] You can just go right to the man himself.
[00:27:03] Wow.
[00:27:04] Yeah.
[00:27:05] Look, go.
[00:27:06] Those are some lucky poles on my head.
[00:27:07] That was good.
[00:27:08] I got to train.
[00:27:09] I got lucky with the scrub.
[00:27:10] And so, and St. Augustine, of course, loved the full range of Mascape products.
[00:27:14] Absolutely.
[00:27:15] Shears 2.0.
[00:27:16] Huge improvement over the Shears 1.0, which was just a knife with a laser pointer attached.
[00:27:22] You do not want to be cut your fingernails to that.
[00:27:25] Laser guided pube trimming.
[00:27:29] Sharks with freaking laser beams.
[00:27:32] They have ball tuners.
[00:27:34] They got crop cleanser body.
[00:27:37] Watch, crop my ball wipes.
[00:27:38] You never know when opportunity structure always be prepared.
[00:27:41] You imagine being that on date with a girl and you know your balls.
[00:27:43] You got to wipe your balls off.
[00:27:45] Yeah, because you just had some fucking cheese, the brie.
[00:27:48] And for some reason, the cheese always went right there.
[00:27:50] We're laughing about a guy.
[00:27:51] That's what pulls his pants down to fart in public.
[00:27:54] Yeah.
[00:27:55] It's very funny.
[00:27:56] Because he doesn't want to get his pants dirty.
[00:27:57] Yeah.
[00:27:58] The visual is very good.
[00:27:59] No, what if I shart?
[00:28:00] Okay.
[00:28:01] So I ruined my fucking pants.
[00:28:02] I was doing.
[00:28:03] I guess you got a fucking million dollars you spent on pants.
[00:28:05] I was pulling my pants all the way down.
[00:28:07] Nick was showing his asshole and pertain to fart.
[00:28:09] Yeah.
[00:28:10] No, I did fart the first time.
[00:28:11] Oh, nice.
[00:28:12] Awesome, dude.
[00:28:13] Don't, don't lie about me.
[00:28:14] I didn't mean to lie.
[00:28:15] I didn't know you actually farted.
[00:28:16] He pulled his pants out of the fart.
[00:28:19] I wasn't lying about you.
[00:28:20] I didn't know you farted.
[00:28:21] The man-scaped refined cologne is a cost-effective way to no longer smell Indian.
[00:28:26] I don't think that's the copy.
[00:28:28] Oh, sorry.
[00:28:29] Whoops.
[00:28:30] Yeah.
[00:28:31] What does it say?
[00:28:32] It's easy way to smell clean and fresh for your date.
[00:28:36] I just, I guess I misread that.
[00:28:39] Yeah, that is a mistake you should apologize for.
[00:28:43] No, that's where the guy that made the Game of Thrones show.
[00:28:46] Yeah, he put that in.
[00:28:47] I don't think he did.
[00:28:48] I was one of his jokes.
[00:28:50] These formulations are all vegan, cruelty-free, die-free, sulfate-free.
[00:28:54] I love that.
[00:28:55] Wow.
[00:28:56] Paraben-free, so you know your manhood is in good hands.
[00:28:58] Mm-hmm.
[00:28:59] The hands of them?
[00:29:00] Yeah.
[00:29:01] A little angel.
[00:29:02] A little vegan angel sucking you off.
[00:29:04] Yeah.
[00:29:05] Every time you wipe your nuts.
[00:29:06] I'm gonna have you a little hand statue.
[00:29:09] A little hand statue, the rest of my nuts in.
[00:29:14] A hand statue.
[00:29:15] Yeah.
[00:29:16] To hold them up.
[00:29:17] The cathedral.
[00:29:18] You know what I want to invent?
[00:29:19] It's like...
[00:29:20] What was that road called that we saw?
[00:29:21] Uh, button balls road.
[00:29:22] That was an animal.
[00:29:23] Button balls road.
[00:29:24] Button balls road.
[00:29:25] Yeah, he said that was my road.
[00:29:27] He said that was my road.
[00:29:29] That was your nuts road.
[00:29:30] Mm-hmm.
[00:29:31] We'll be down here.
[00:29:32] They would have loved that.
[00:29:33] No, it's button ball lane.
[00:29:34] Weird wacker ear and nose hair trimmer uses the same skin-safe technology when you're
[00:29:38] just forming those delicate nose hairs.
[00:29:40] There's this thing is waterproof.
[00:29:42] You bring it in the shower.
[00:29:44] You can shove it all the way in your ass.
[00:29:45] Fully up your ass.
[00:29:47] No touch.
[00:29:48] It'll shave the hair in your asshole.
[00:29:49] It's self-cleaning too.
[00:29:51] So you can put it in your wife's vagina and she will not get an infection.
[00:29:54] No.
[00:29:55] It'll turn her pussy even cleaner.
[00:29:56] Oh, what?
[00:29:57] Yeah.
[00:29:58] Damn.
[00:29:59] Self-cleaning and also once it's done cleaning, self-cleaning is the pussy they think.
[00:30:02] A lot of women do a lot of shit.
[00:30:05] You can get these.
[00:30:06] These are probably pretty good on your pussy.
[00:30:07] Sure.
[00:30:08] And you better not be caught slipping out here.
[00:30:11] No.
[00:30:12] I better not catch you slipping with pussy hair.
[00:30:15] You can do a little...
[00:30:17] If we catch you lacking or I guess not lacking, if you're caught, you want to be caught lacking
[00:30:26] when it comes to pussy hair but not guns.
[00:30:28] Yeah.
[00:30:29] Let's make that very obvious.
[00:30:30] You'll catch these hands.
[00:30:31] Yes.
[00:30:32] If Nick catches a woman with a very pussy, if we can't beat the fuck...
[00:30:36] You're on the bus.
[00:30:37] My soul onto the dust.
[00:30:40] By loving a man as if he would never die.
[00:30:43] Who never loves a man.
[00:30:44] No way.
[00:30:45] Yeah.
[00:30:46] Loving a man.
[00:30:47] Have you never read the Confessions of St. Augustine?
[00:30:49] I've never read it.
[00:30:50] Is he actually gay?
[00:30:51] No.
[00:30:52] No.
[00:30:53] But I mean, it's like all about having...
[00:30:54] That sounded like being gay.
[00:30:56] It's very homo-eronic.
[00:30:58] That's awesome.
[00:30:59] Respect.
[00:31:00] Salute to St. Augustine.
[00:31:02] Mm-hmm.
[00:31:03] A gay guy from antiquity.
[00:31:04] Yeah, they got this.
[00:31:05] I don't even...
[00:31:06] I don't know if I'll get in trouble with them, but I don't want to read about this foot cleaner
[00:31:09] thing.
[00:31:10] I'll read it.
[00:31:11] Yeah, you got upset about that.
[00:31:12] You have foot problems?
[00:31:13] No, it's just gross to me.
[00:31:15] It's not gross to have nice clean feet.
[00:31:17] You never put a foot in your mouth?
[00:31:20] The cooling tea tree.
[00:31:21] What if I really ignore that question?
[00:31:23] What?
[00:31:24] Have I done it?
[00:31:25] You put a foot in your mouth.
[00:31:26] I mean, I've done literally everything.
[00:31:28] So say yes.
[00:31:29] So yes.
[00:31:30] You've done everything you could do fuck.
[00:31:32] Getting fucked in the ass, man.
[00:31:33] You've got fucked in the ass.
[00:31:34] I've done everything.
[00:31:35] Yeah.
[00:31:36] I've done everything.
[00:31:37] I've done everything.
[00:31:38] I've had ever kind of sex.
[00:31:39] So Lord, if I can let's see.
[00:31:40] Let's see.
[00:31:41] One more.
[00:31:42] Blow my load here.
[00:31:43] Come on.
[00:31:44] It's triple or nothing.
[00:31:45] Yeah, yeah.
[00:31:46] Triple.
[00:31:47] Chapter 9.
[00:31:50] This is what we love in our friends.
[00:32:01] And we love it so much that a man's conscience accuses itself if he does not love one who
[00:32:06] loves him or is spawned in love to love.
[00:32:09] Seeking nothing from the other but the evidences of his love.
[00:32:13] This is the source of our moaning when one dies.
[00:32:16] Oh, wow.
[00:32:17] Oh, dude.
[00:32:18] This man loves me.
[00:32:20] This is the source of our moaning.
[00:32:23] And one that.
[00:32:24] He's a sauce?
[00:32:25] Sure, I think.
[00:32:27] The sauce.
[00:32:28] The sauce.
[00:32:29] But either way, the sauce of my mouth.
[00:32:31] I got some sauce you can moan about Auggie.
[00:32:34] Shut the fuck up and do your dishes.
[00:32:38] So manscaped and they have a beautiful foot powder.
[00:32:41] It keeps you dry.
[00:32:42] It keeps you clean.
[00:32:44] And you're going to love it, especially if you have a foot order.
[00:32:46] Or if you just want to fucking stay fresh, get some of that foot powder.
[00:32:49] Yeah.
[00:32:50] I guess I think it's the word stank that bothers me.
[00:32:53] Sometimes.
[00:32:54] I also hate the name Skankfest.
[00:32:56] It's always viscerally bothered me.
[00:32:58] Skatefest but not the legion of skates.
[00:33:01] No, you know what?
[00:33:02] It has nothing to do with even feet.
[00:33:03] I think it's just like the construction of those words.
[00:33:06] A.N.K.
[00:33:07] Is that your problem?
[00:33:08] A.N.K.
[00:33:09] Skankstank.
[00:33:10] I don't know.
[00:33:11] Dank.
[00:33:12] But I don't like it.
[00:33:13] What about dank?
[00:33:14] I don't like it.
[00:33:15] It's like fucking havin' a dental scraper.
[00:33:17] Who about Plank?
[00:33:18] You know like the sound of it?
[00:33:19] Plank?
[00:33:20] I don't know.
[00:33:21] It's A.N.K.
[00:33:22] Stop.
[00:33:23] Just stop.
[00:33:24] It's just fucking.
[00:33:25] I used to date a girl who claimed that she hated to hear the word panty.
[00:33:27] I fucked her.
[00:33:28] No, you didn't fuck her.
[00:33:30] We both fucked her.
[00:33:31] Neither of you fucked her.
[00:33:32] And I, what if I just cut her and he's like, and they both fucked her.
[00:33:35] And they fucked her.
[00:33:36] And they both fucked her.
[00:33:37] And they both fucked her.
[00:33:38] We're gonna say no, we're gonna say no.
[00:33:39] And see what St. Augustine has said about whether we fucked her or not.
[00:33:43] He'll have the answer.
[00:33:44] Let's break them, I will declare.
[00:33:46] And all who worship thee shall say when they hear these things, blessed be the Lord in heaven
[00:33:52] and earth.
[00:33:53] Great and wonderful is his name.
[00:33:56] Sounds like we fucked thee.
[00:33:57] My words had stuck fast in my breast and I was hedged round about by thee on every side
[00:34:03] of thy eternal life I was now certain, although I had seen it through a glass darkly.
[00:34:10] And I had been relieved of all doubt that there is an incorruptible substance and that
[00:34:15] it is the source of every other substance.
[00:34:20] Any longer crave greater certainty about thee, but rather greater steadfastness in thee.
[00:34:26] So does for my temporal life everything was uncertain and my heart had to be purged of
[00:34:32] the old leaven.
[00:34:34] The way the Savior himself pleased me well, but as yet I was reluctant to pass through
[00:34:40] the straight eight and I'll just put it into my mind and it seems good in my own sight
[00:34:43] to go to some place on us, but to me a faithful servant of thine and thy grace shone forth
[00:34:49] in him.
[00:34:50] I had also been told that from his youth up he had lived in entire devotion to thee.
[00:34:59] He was already an old man and because of his great age which he had passed in such a zealous
[00:35:05] discipleship in thy way, he appeared to me likely to have gained much wisdom and indeed
[00:35:14] he had.
[00:35:15] We haven't even done the promo code.
[00:35:22] I'm sorry.
[00:35:24] I'm sorry guys.
[00:35:25] Were we talking about how great St. Louis?
[00:35:33] The lawnmower 3.0, the shears 2.0, the foot bullshit, the ball wipes and the fucking
[00:35:40] cologne.
[00:35:45] Smells like absolutely shit being like finally my package is here.
[00:35:53] I'm covered in shit.
[00:35:56] I'm caked and I'm real.
[00:35:58] He like hoes down by my manscape package.
[00:36:00] But you know what that guy is probably out there and he's probably listening and go to
[00:36:05] manscape.com.
[00:36:06] Get 20% off plus free shipping at manscape.com with promo code St. Augustine.
[00:36:11] It's from a hometown 20.
[00:36:14] That's right.
[00:36:15] I think so or come town.
[00:36:19] I think it's come town 20.
[00:36:23] I believe so.
[00:36:25] I believe it's come town 20.
[00:36:31] I think so.
[00:36:33] Or come town.
[00:36:34] You guys are smart guys.
[00:36:36] Fuck.
[00:36:38] Fuck me in the pussy hole.
[00:36:42] Spread open my pussy and fuck it with your knees.
[00:36:47] Put your pussy in my pussy.
[00:36:50] It's come town 20 dude.
[00:36:52] Okay.
[00:36:53] Come town 20 and you'll probably get 20% off of your first order.
[00:36:56] It's come town 20.
[00:36:57] And free shipping maybe.
[00:36:58] Yeah.
[00:36:59] Some shit like that.
[00:37:01] Some shit like that.
[00:37:02] And you're going to be smelling fucking good.
[00:37:04] I'm going to be smelling good.
[00:37:05] I have absolutely no excuse.
[00:37:07] I do.
[00:37:08] I do like the lean.
[00:37:09] I do like the little their model.
[00:37:12] You know, it's nice.
[00:37:13] Oh yeah.
[00:37:14] Good stuff.
[00:37:15] Got a nice little bag with a nice little fucking bag.
[00:37:18] I brought the bag on our trip.
[00:37:19] I'm using the toiletry bag.
[00:37:21] Town 20.
[00:37:22] Check it out.
[00:37:23] Check it out.
[00:37:24] Check it out.
[00:37:25] Check it the fuck out.
[00:37:28] You fucking piece of shit.
[00:37:30] Check it out.
[00:37:31] I can't wait to bust inside.
[00:37:33] All I want is pussy from ago.
[00:37:35] If there is a way to make my friend, my dear friend pregnant by way of my bust, the sauce
[00:37:45] of all life.
[00:37:47] The sauce of all sex.
[00:37:49] Fuck.
[00:37:50] I'm getting pussy from which I love.
[00:37:53] Getting pussy from inside my penis.
[00:37:57] But the pussy was never external to my penis, but the sensation of pussy lives inside of
[00:38:02] it.
[00:38:03] And so in your grace, good Lord, I can have my penis and pussy whenever I like, if I remember
[00:38:09] that his whole world is pussy.
[00:38:11] They went to such a gift that as my penis even remains hard in my pants, it should not
[00:38:18] be in pussy like your grace go on.
[00:38:22] I'm going to update the copy so that it actually has a promo code in here.
[00:38:27] That's good.
[00:38:28] Yeah, that'll be good for us.
[00:38:31] Moving forward.
[00:38:33] I can't figure out how to do it.
[00:38:35] Yeah, who cares?
[00:38:36] I guess who gives a shit fucking cares.
[00:38:38] I'm just having a very nice December 9th with my friends.
[00:38:42] Oh yeah, here we go.
[00:38:43] Or whatever the...
[00:38:44] Let's not forget.
[00:38:45] It's the best trimmer for your butt, balls and body.
[00:38:49] So you are supposed to use it on your asshole.
[00:38:51] Yeah, totally.
[00:38:52] Your butt, balls and body.
[00:38:54] Yeah.
[00:38:55] Damn, that's all of it.
[00:38:57] That's everything.
[00:38:58] That's the whole thing.
[00:38:59] I use it on my face.
[00:39:00] I get rid of my eyebrows with it.
[00:39:01] A lot of your face looks like other people's balls.
[00:39:03] I've been doing a kind of a girl with the dragon tattoos, sort of looking up to her.
[00:39:07] Color contacts.
[00:39:08] I got glow sticks shoved in every orifice.
[00:39:10] I've bleached my eyebrows.
[00:39:13] You have or you do?
[00:39:14] I'm going to start doing that.
[00:39:16] Nah, you look fucking stupid.
[00:39:17] I'm also going to get a Padawan learner side bread.
[00:39:22] I would have been bleaching your report, but it's an update on guys that bleached your
[00:39:25] assholes.
[00:39:26] Hey, it's Steven Mark.
[00:39:30] Just giving you guys some updates here.
[00:39:34] Still looking good.
[00:39:35] Still crest white here.
[00:39:38] Number 10 on the chart.
[00:39:39] Yes.
[00:39:40] Oh, it's bright white.
[00:39:42] Oyster pearl assholes.
[00:39:44] You're alabaster over here.
[00:39:45] Just a couple of guys.
[00:39:46] And I've been taking a lot of shits because I had a busy spring break and you got to
[00:39:51] empty yourself out.
[00:39:52] Totally.
[00:39:53] Guys, remember going out there, not only stay hydrated, empty yourself at the end of the
[00:39:58] day.
[00:39:59] So you got to blow out the spit valve on a trumpet.
[00:40:02] Oh, yeah.
[00:40:03] Let that build up.
[00:40:04] The tone is all off.
[00:40:05] Actually, I was talking to, I met Wynton Marsalis.
[00:40:09] Really?
[00:40:10] I asked him about the spit valve and he was very interested in telling me about it.
[00:40:13] And then I mentioned him.
[00:40:14] I said, you know, it's very similar to me.
[00:40:16] I go have a rough trade gay sex down in Miami during spring break and I have to empty my
[00:40:22] assholes.
[00:40:24] And he just walked away.
[00:40:25] He hated me.
[00:40:26] He could not.
[00:40:27] He couldn't just, he said it was disgusting.
[00:40:30] It's sad to know that a man that you admire is a bigot.
[00:40:34] Yeah.
[00:40:35] Is a hole for you.
[00:40:36] To find out that Wynton Marsalis is race-
[00:40:40] Terrible.
[00:40:41] White gay men who are rich and have nothing to do with have gay sex.
[00:40:45] Don't really have a job.
[00:40:46] I just go to the party and they're going to have me sex.
[00:40:51] And I have to empty myself.
[00:40:52] And I am part of the Kamala.
[00:40:54] I said, Wynton, you're going to love this.
[00:40:56] But I call my asshole Wynton Strumpert.
[00:40:58] I love the bat specific guy.
[00:41:01] I also love jazz.
[00:41:03] And he's not just listening.
[00:41:05] It's like New Orleans style.
[00:41:07] It's not it.
[00:41:10] Bum, bum, bum, bum.
[00:41:13] This is a really big day December 9th, guys, which it is today.
[00:41:17] Oh, I'm having a great December 9th.
[00:41:19] Did you know that it was the, a lot of big stuff that happened, including the beginning
[00:41:27] of the Nuremberg trials?
[00:41:30] Oh.
[00:41:31] It's today 1946.
[00:41:32] You know what I liked even more than the beginning.
[00:41:34] What's that?
[00:41:35] The end of it.
[00:41:36] The end?
[00:41:37] Yeah.
[00:41:38] Well, this was when they, this begins with a doctor's trial prosecuting physicians and
[00:41:41] officers alleged to be involved in Nazi human experimentation.
[00:41:44] Oh, you know what you can also do is you can take blue shoes.
[00:41:48] Really?
[00:41:49] Why don't you tell the fans about your experience with that?
[00:41:52] Oh, the fans and listeners.
[00:41:54] Well, I go to the kitchen to get another mango slice.
[00:41:57] Can you get me one, please?
[00:41:59] I'll bring the whole thing up.
[00:42:00] No, I don't bring the whole thing.
[00:42:01] Then we'll eat the whole thing.
[00:42:02] Just get one slice.
[00:42:03] Okay.
[00:42:04] It's too early to go off the right.
[00:42:05] I can't yet go off the right.
[00:42:06] What's the reason?
[00:42:07] Wait until it's pork shoulders.
[00:42:09] Once the pork shoulders done, then we can fucking go crazy.
[00:42:11] We're not going to eat mango slices with the pork shoulder.
[00:42:14] But wait for dessert.
[00:42:16] Okay, bring me two slices.
[00:42:17] Just have two slices.
[00:42:18] We're eating the whole fucking thing.
[00:42:20] Blue shoe.com changed my life.
[00:42:22] Well, the thing is, folks, the way I just described the mango slices is something I can't
[00:42:26] even be around or else I'll eat all of it.
[00:42:28] That's how I am with pussy as well.
[00:42:30] Yeah.
[00:42:31] I can't be around it.
[00:42:32] I want to fuck all the time.
[00:42:33] However, the difference between eating mango slices and fucking pussy is that you can eat
[00:42:37] mango slices and nothing has to get hard.
[00:42:40] But to fuck pussy, your dick has to get hard.
[00:42:43] That's correct.
[00:42:44] And unfortunately, because of many reasons, stress, anxiety, being hundreds of pounds
[00:42:50] overweight, whatever, each of these is equally is the reason why I can't get hard.
[00:42:57] I can't do it sometimes.
[00:42:58] And that's why I go to blue shoe.com and I get cock pills delivered right to my door
[00:43:04] that make me stiff as fuck.
[00:43:06] No down, no in person doctors visits, no waiting in line, no being embarrassed because my fucked
[00:43:11] up little cock doesn't work.
[00:43:13] I have to look a Italian man in the eyes.
[00:43:15] That was my old doctor.
[00:43:16] Shut up, doctor.
[00:43:17] Dr. Mario.
[00:43:18] Dr. Mario is my old doctor.
[00:43:20] This guy.
[00:43:21] That's about a lot of people.
[00:43:23] The blue shoe actually bought the rights of Dr. Mario.
[00:43:25] So when you play those games now, Mario has to get down on his knees and suck shoes.
[00:43:30] You should just take a shot.
[00:43:31] You should just cut.
[00:43:32] You have to.
[00:43:33] This is one of the new Mario party mini games is Dr. Mario.
[00:43:35] It's just suck bows or hard.
[00:43:36] Yoshi's dick is a stretchy dick like it's tongue.
[00:43:40] Yes, exactly.
[00:43:41] He's up.
[00:43:42] Yum, yum, yum.
[00:43:43] Yum, yum.
[00:43:44] Come, come.
[00:43:45] Yeah.
[00:43:46] Yeah, that's true.
[00:43:47] And what's Yoshi's deal is so he's makes normal noises, but then he also makes like beatboxing
[00:43:52] noise.
[00:43:53] Yes.
[00:43:54] He's a cute don.
[00:43:55] So, but the old.
[00:43:56] And also like used to be Yoshi would just be like, broop, broop, broop, broop, broop,
[00:44:02] broop, broop, broop, broop, broop, broop.
[00:44:06] So the point though is that after going on bluetooth.com, and I get my choice of sadad
[00:44:11] little filler to dad little filler and that's Viagra generic Viagra, or see how else is
[00:44:16] the real shit that old motherfuckers get to use their dick hard butt.
[00:44:21] It's the same ingredient.
[00:44:22] But it also works for young men who are fattish shit, depressed, or on so many drugs, their
[00:44:28] cock can't get hard.
[00:44:29] Or me.
[00:44:30] Likely a combination of the three.
[00:44:32] For me, I'm not in bad shape per se, but I'm constantly finding myself in fuck team five
[00:44:37] style scenario.
[00:44:38] Right.
[00:44:39] Right.
[00:44:40] We're five four stars roll up in a sprinter van.
[00:44:42] Yeah.
[00:44:43] And fours Adam just give either pussies and get his dick hard.
[00:44:46] And typically he has such stage fright and he's not, look, I love Adam.
[00:44:51] He's one of my good friends.
[00:44:52] But the moment sometimes can be too big for him.
[00:44:54] I can't really rise to the occasion.
[00:44:56] He can't rise to the occasion.
[00:44:57] I'm at CVS.
[00:44:58] Right.
[00:44:59] And five.
[00:45:00] And Lisa and Brittany and.
[00:45:01] Brittany, what's so fucking?
[00:45:03] I'm Jack off.
[00:45:04] I know that chick.
[00:45:05] The one with the big, big fat tits.
[00:45:08] Brittany.
[00:45:09] She's like, you would like that noise.
[00:45:12] Do Zama or do Ama or some shit Sarah J. Sarah J. She's looking rough these days, bro.
[00:45:19] We're talking about Sarah J. She's definitely been on the front.
[00:45:24] Brittany B.
[00:45:25] Brittany B.
[00:45:26] That's what I'm thinking.
[00:45:27] Okay.
[00:45:28] And she sponsors blue chew.
[00:45:29] And Adam, Adam, find yourself in a fuck team five style.
[00:45:32] You want your cock heart.
[00:45:33] And that's why I would, if you're in worried about that, I would go with the Todadalafil,
[00:45:37] which is the Seattle's, which keeps your dick hard over the over a course of time.
[00:45:41] You could stretch that out in the three days.
[00:45:43] Absolutely.
[00:45:44] Where's the San Dentalafil or which is more of a 24 hour thing, right?
[00:45:48] Yes, Sarah J.
[00:45:49] Sarah Livingston J. No, no, no, some fucked up.
[00:45:53] That's not really funny.
[00:45:56] The founding, she was the American social light and wife of founding father, John Jay.
[00:46:00] Oh, no, not her, but I fucked her up.
[00:46:02] Look at this guy's outfit, dude.
[00:46:03] That's a good thing.
[00:46:04] I don't have my glasses.
[00:46:05] He's got big sleeves.
[00:46:07] Nice.
[00:46:08] Bluecheer.com.
[00:46:09] If you like sex, you'll love having sex.
[00:46:10] So yeah, you get your dick hard.
[00:46:12] It gets your penis hard.
[00:46:14] And that's what, what else do you need the fucking know, man?
[00:46:17] They right through your fucking door.
[00:46:19] Just go to Bluecheer.com.
[00:46:20] You don't have to leave your house.
[00:46:21] A performance enhancement for the bedroom.
[00:46:24] Bluecheer, you can get the first jewels with this active ingredients, sedentino or not
[00:46:28] to dial them, no.
[00:46:30] Another scenario where they do a Skype now, this is a zero contact thing.
[00:46:36] I didn't have to do a Skype.
[00:46:37] They think, I think they just, they knew I was.
[00:46:39] They knew your dick was fucked up.
[00:46:41] They knew I would send the vibes from your email address.
[00:46:43] This is the keys were hit so softly.
[00:46:46] This guy's got no blood and his extremities.
[00:46:49] All my bloods in my brain coming up with, with riffs like St. August, like St. August,
[00:46:55] with remembering time goes to St. August to cut to.
[00:47:02] So go to Bluecheer.com.
[00:47:04] No in person doctor visit no awkward conversation.
[00:47:07] No waiting in line.
[00:47:08] I hit all these fucking parts.
[00:47:09] I'm a fucking, I'm a fucking professional.
[00:47:12] Ships direct your door and discrete packages.
[00:47:14] Yes.
[00:47:15] But did you do it in this voice?
[00:47:16] I didn't.
[00:47:17] He got me there.
[00:47:19] Here's the thing is you can get dick pills.
[00:47:23] I'm Chris Cooper.
[00:47:24] I'm actor Chris Cooper.
[00:47:26] Oh yeah.
[00:47:27] From American beauty.
[00:47:28] From American beauty and my dick is doesn't hard.
[00:47:32] My dick doesn't hard.
[00:47:34] Mind it, well, my dick doesn't hard.
[00:47:36] No sir.
[00:47:37] Every guy has performance issues at some point in their life.
[00:47:40] Bluecheer makes sure that your confidence in your formula every level of time.
[00:47:44] Yeah, a lot of people take performance enhancements in other areas of their life.
[00:47:50] Helps, looks working out.
[00:47:53] Why would you want to make something that's good better?
[00:47:57] No matter what state of life or relationship period, you got to try to tubelessfrombluecheer.com.
[00:48:02] Don't bring the stress of the outside world into the bedroom.
[00:48:06] Right.
[00:48:07] Don't let a bad day affect what should be the best day of your life.
[00:48:11] The best day of your life.
[00:48:12] The best day of your life.
[00:48:13] I've gotten pussy on some horrible days of my life.
[00:48:21] 9-11.
[00:48:22] Yeah, dude.
[00:48:23] I was getting pussy in seventh grade.
[00:48:26] From my teacher with the biggest hits.
[00:48:28] It's weird to think that on 9-11 there was probably people fucking the KAMFDM.
[00:48:32] It's true.
[00:48:33] You know, just industrial couples having sex.
[00:48:38] Yeah.
[00:48:39] Yeah.
[00:48:40] The Matrix came out two years ago.
[00:48:42] Yeah.
[00:48:43] They were probably feeling great.
[00:48:44] Yeah.
[00:48:45] I was saying I don't know how.
[00:48:47] Did we do the promo code?
[00:48:48] No, we did.
[00:48:49] It's a...
[00:48:50] Come town.
[00:48:51] Come town.
[00:48:52] Or come town.
[00:48:53] Just go to bluecheer.com.
[00:48:54] Put in come town or come town to money.
[00:48:56] Yeah, free intro.
[00:48:57] Get your first one free.
[00:48:58] Just pay $5 shipping.
[00:48:59] Just pay $5 shipping.
[00:49:00] All right, all right.
[00:49:01] Visit bluecheer.com or your first order free when you use promo code come town.
[00:49:04] Just pay $5 shipping.
[00:49:06] Get in this BLU.
[00:49:08] BLU.
[00:49:09] BLU.
[00:49:10] Like the cheese.
[00:49:11] Let's BLU.
[00:49:12] BLU.
[00:49:13] BLU.
[00:49:14] When you are trying to have sex with your child mistress.
[00:49:17] Damn.
[00:49:18] When you're this can not get held.
[00:49:21] Just focus.
[00:49:22] Finish the episode.
[00:49:23] And then you can get a fucking slice of mango.
[00:49:25] Got a P2.
[00:49:26] I'm holding it.
[00:49:27] Hold it the fucking.
[00:49:28] I'm holding it.
[00:49:29] Damn.
[00:49:30] The only breaks I take are to go to help us to put in a poor shoulder.
[00:49:34] Okay.
[00:49:35] You're back to the L.
[00:49:36] Okay.
[00:49:37] Sometimes I got to whip you into fucking shape Adam.
[00:49:39] Oh, you can whip me.
[00:49:40] I would love to.
[00:49:41] I would absolutely dominate you if I was gay.
[00:49:43] I need this.
[00:49:44] I would fuck the shit out of you as a person.
[00:49:46] You would definitely be a bottom.
[00:49:47] I'm just so undisciplined.
[00:49:48] I would fuck you up dude.
[00:49:50] No way.
[00:49:51] I would definitely talk.
[00:49:52] No chance.
[00:49:53] I would definitely talk.
[00:49:54] No chance.
[00:49:55] You guys want to go to the rainforest cafe?
[00:49:57] No, they have one out here.
[00:50:00] It's trending on Twitter and it reminded me that if they, they're, they're, they got
[00:50:04] a bone to pick with that fucking gorilla.
[00:50:08] Is it his cock?
[00:50:09] It is.
[00:50:10] Are you going to pick it with your teeth?
[00:50:12] I went to the zoo the other day.
[00:50:13] I saw the gorillas.
[00:50:14] Finally.
[00:50:15] Nice.
[00:50:16] It was nice.
[00:50:17] Now that the zoo is not so fucking busy with those goddamn kids.
[00:50:19] That's right.
[00:50:20] You finally adults can go enjoy the prison.
[00:50:23] Is the zoo where Tony fucked his crazy mistress?
[00:50:25] Yes it is.
[00:50:26] Or the Bronx.
[00:50:27] Yeah.
[00:50:28] Really?
[00:50:29] The Bronx.
[00:50:30] Yeah.
[00:50:31] I'm from the Bronx.
[00:50:32] Damn.
[00:50:33] I want to go there and get to see the property.
[00:50:34] I'm like, what's the deal here chick?
[00:50:36] Are you okay?
[00:50:37] Do you need help with that?
[00:50:38] No, it's not.
[00:50:39] It's not what you think.
[00:50:40] I'm actually just from the Bronx.
[00:50:41] I'm from the Bronx.
[00:50:42] I'm from the Bronx.
[00:50:43] Yeah.
[00:50:44] I got sort of uptown mentality.
[00:50:46] All right.
[00:50:47] What you call a mind of a man.
[00:50:51] Mind of men.
[00:50:52] See, I'm sorry, but your son has mind.
[00:50:55] Unfortunately, Miss.
[00:50:57] You're so, you're diagnosed with one of the worst cases of a mind of men.
[00:51:02] Sir, I could have a look at that.
[00:51:03] I could have a look at this delicately.
[00:51:04] Your son has minded.
[00:51:05] He was more of a mind of this.
[00:51:09] Mind of Mencia sounds like a spice.
[00:51:11] It really does.
[00:51:12] Yeah.
[00:51:13] I'm sure.
[00:51:14] Do you have any chicken with rosemary and mind of mencia?
[00:51:19] Dude, I was hyped when mind of Mencia came out.
[00:51:23] I was a Mencia fan after the first half.
[00:51:25] What?
[00:51:26] I was a dude, dude.
[00:51:27] A dirt dirt dirt.
[00:51:28] They didn't cancel it.
[00:51:29] Chappelle was gone.
[00:51:30] They didn't cancel Chappelle.
[00:51:31] Can you believe that fucking asshole would just make fun of mentally disabled?
[00:51:34] Where does he get off?
[00:51:36] He thinks that's comedy.
[00:51:37] Where does that Mexican gentleman get off?
[00:51:40] That's right.
[00:51:41] He's German, too.
[00:51:42] His real name is Ned Holness, as I learned in my video where Joe Rogan confronts him.
[00:51:48] That's right.
[00:51:49] You know, for stealing bits.
[00:51:50] Yeah, before Joe Rogan had the heart of the bench.
[00:51:52] It's so funny because it's like, who gives a shit about stealing bits?
[00:51:56] The bit, the joke that they're like bad about it.
[00:51:59] You're the biggest joke thief in the industry right now.
[00:52:02] Probably the most famous.
[00:52:03] Yeah, probably.
[00:52:04] We don't care.
[00:52:05] Yeah.
[00:52:06] Well, give me a shit.
[00:52:08] As long as you keep finding those mango slices.
[00:52:11] Boy, you can do whatever the hell you want.
[00:52:14] I found them and put them in the car.
[00:52:17] That's back when libertarians owned comedy.
[00:52:20] That's right.
[00:52:21] That's when joke theft was a big thing.
[00:52:22] The only thing that mattered was intellectual property.
[00:52:25] Yeah, rape's cool, but if you steal your...
[00:52:28] The only thing...
[00:52:29] If you steal your...
[00:52:30] Who's gonna build the fence?
[00:52:31] I know.
[00:52:32] The only thing that exists.
[00:52:33] Which was like literally everyone said that joke.
[00:52:35] Is the abstraction of property.
[00:52:38] That's the only thing that's written.
[00:52:40] Everything else is fake.
[00:52:41] What are you talking about in the mind of...
[00:52:44] In the mind of...
[00:52:45] In the mind of...
[00:52:46] In the mind of...
[00:52:47] What the hell you...
[00:52:49] Yeah, but who's gonna build the wall?
[00:52:51] Yeah, DL Hugley had that one.
[00:52:53] Yeah.
[00:52:54] My favorite of that era was like the...
[00:52:56] I don't know if this guy's homeless or he's got Bluetooth.
[00:52:59] Oh, right.
[00:53:00] Oh, he's talking to himself.
[00:53:02] He's talking to himself.
[00:53:03] Yeah, that was a classic.
[00:53:04] Now with AirPods, it's even worse.
[00:53:06] People look at me like I'm fucking insane.
[00:53:08] Yep.
[00:53:09] Are you doing the bit for real now?
[00:53:10] No, I mean, it's worse now because it's like you can't even...
[00:53:13] You can't even see the...
[00:53:14] Right, right.
[00:53:16] Yeah.
[00:53:17] It is worse.
[00:53:18] Because there was...
[00:53:20] Like it practically didn't make sense when people were doing that joke.
[00:53:23] There was a giant...
[00:53:24] There's a huge thing attached to it.
[00:53:25] What a flashing light on it.
[00:53:26] They look like Lando's slave.
[00:53:28] Lando's like Dix again.
[00:53:32] Yeah.
[00:53:33] Honal, buddy.
[00:53:34] Oh, listen, Lando.
[00:53:36] Don't tell Leia what we used to do about any of this.
[00:53:40] Oh, the secret's safe with me, huh?
[00:53:42] Shit.
[00:53:43] You don't think I've moved on from all that?
[00:53:45] I mean, obviously I keep a boy here.
[00:53:47] Yeah, I fucked him so bad one time they had to remove his brain and replace it with circuitry.
[00:53:52] Isn't that right, B-boop?
[00:53:55] Yes, sir.
[00:53:57] Oh, shit dude.
[00:53:59] Today you want to hear some famous birthdays?
[00:54:01] Dame Judy Dench.
[00:54:03] Dame Judy Dench.
[00:54:04] You're tuning in to...
[00:54:06] December 9th.
[00:54:07] Dame Pussy Stench.
[00:54:08] Today is December 9th.
[00:54:10] Today is...
[00:54:11] Kirk Douglas, huh?
[00:54:14] We owe him a lot on this podcast.
[00:54:17] Yeah, I'm Spartacus.
[00:54:20] I'm Spartacus.
[00:54:23] Imogen Heeb.
[00:54:24] Can't wait to have this.
[00:54:25] I'm stuck my dick.
[00:54:26] I want to spread it.
[00:54:28] I'm stuck in...
[00:54:30] My penis is wrong.
[00:54:32] I'm gonna spread my cheeks and say Spartacus into my ass.
[00:54:36] That sounds good.
[00:54:38] I just want to use cusses into my ass.
[00:54:41] Michael Dorn?
[00:54:43] Michael Dorn?
[00:54:44] Captain.
[00:54:45] Captain, my penis is small.
[00:54:48] Yeah, that's right.
[00:54:53] Captain, I believe my penis is too small.
[00:54:55] My penis is too tiny, Captain.
[00:54:58] Captain, I am angry because my dick is not the size it was promised to be based on the color of my skin.
[00:55:06] Dick Van Patton?
[00:55:08] Seems like somebody you would know who that is.
[00:55:10] Gene Roddenberry just being like, well, the Klingons, initially my idea was to imagine black people, but they have small dicks.
[00:55:16] What would that look like?
[00:55:17] If you have all of that latent aggression but no reward, no outlet.
[00:55:23] He was like, hmm, imagine a black guy with a Chinese sized penis, but also his forehead ridges on it.
[00:55:33] Right.
[00:55:34] That's a lot going on there.
[00:55:36] I should get into the side.
[00:55:38] What if I just transitioned to being a sci-fi writer after this?
[00:55:41] You should.
[00:55:42] Just write a thick-ass book and it's like, oh, the Diga Boo-Bians, they collect a very rare type of space banana.
[00:55:51] Yeah, you could really get away with some risks.
[00:55:56] Absolutely.
[00:55:57] That's the meaning to be racist then.
[00:56:00] Right.
[00:56:01] Their lips are so big, it changes the atmosphere on their home plate.
[00:56:04] That's right.
[00:56:05] Mm-hmm.
[00:56:06] Who was Gene Roddenberry?
[00:56:07] He was just some guy on a plantation.
[00:56:10] But his name makes him sound like he got mad pussy.
[00:56:13] Yep.
[00:56:14] That was the berry that went rotten.
[00:56:16] You fuck Gene.
[00:56:18] Honey, everybody fucked Gene.
[00:56:20] Oh, it was the 60s.
[00:56:22] He invented Star Trek.
[00:56:24] You fuck Gene Roddenberry?
[00:56:28] That is an awesome thing.
[00:56:30] You fucking whore.
[00:56:31] I wonder if he looks like what?
[00:56:32] As British as that name sounds?
[00:56:34] Gene Roddenberry.
[00:56:35] I remember there was a show.
[00:56:36] Yeah, as I'm Gene Roddenberry.
[00:56:38] There was that show Andromeda that sucked dick.
[00:56:40] Mm-hmm.
[00:56:41] And they had to call it like Gene Rodd.
[00:56:43] Didn't they call it Gene Rodden?
[00:56:44] No, I think I'm thinking of another movie.
[00:56:46] It was Gene Roddenberry something.
[00:56:47] Gene Roddenberry's Earth.
[00:56:49] Was that it?
[00:56:50] Yeah.
[00:56:51] I think Earth final conflict.
[00:56:53] That's what it was.
[00:56:54] Yeah, and that show sucked ass.
[00:56:56] And they had to put Gene Roddenberry's name in there.
[00:56:58] It's to like trick you into thinking it would be as good as Star Trek.
[00:57:01] Damn, my man had another thing.
[00:57:04] Yeah.
[00:57:05] He just wrote the show though, right?
[00:57:07] He never like wrote any books or anything.
[00:57:09] No, I think it's based on a Star Trek book.
[00:57:12] Oh, man.
[00:57:13] No.
[00:57:14] Yeah.
[00:57:15] Gene Roddenberry.
[00:57:16] No.
[00:57:17] The series was produced under the guidance of his widow.
[00:57:20] Oh, shit.
[00:57:21] Who possessed notes kept by Roddenberry to provide the conceptual basis for this series.
[00:57:25] Ran for five seasons between 97 and 2002.
[00:57:29] Oh, you're talking about this shitty show.
[00:57:31] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:57:33] I see.
[00:57:34] Which is widow hot.
[00:57:35] Can you see her pussy?
[00:57:37] She was probably so hot.
[00:57:39] Let's look up Gene Roddenberry wife.
[00:57:42] Gene Rodden.
[00:57:43] Gene Roddenberry wife.
[00:57:45] Gene Roddendirty.
[00:57:46] Yeah.
[00:57:47] Yeah.
[00:57:48] And he's like, what if space was filled with fucking drugs?
[00:57:52] Oh, man.
[00:57:53] Shoot something.
[00:57:54] I think it was.
[00:57:55] That's good, man.
[00:57:56] When you went into space, and as soon as you left the atmosphere, you got hot.
[00:57:59] Yeah.
[00:58:00] You got fucked up, off weed.
[00:58:03] Oh, Gene looked cool.
[00:58:05] Mm-hmm.
[00:58:06] Gene's wife is not like...
[00:58:07] Yeah, big ass sideburner.
[00:58:08] Gene's wife was kind of hot back in the day, but she...
[00:58:12] She was an actress and she...
[00:58:13] Guess what?
[00:58:14] She was in Star Trek.
[00:58:15] You've seen Battlefield Earth?
[00:58:16] I haven't.
[00:58:17] Oh, my God.
[00:58:18] We got to be watching that.
[00:58:19] Oh, my God.
[00:58:20] You got to watch it, dude.
[00:58:21] It's so bad, though.
[00:58:22] It's...
[00:58:23] I love it.
[00:58:24] It's fun to watch for the first 20 minutes.
[00:58:25] No, no, no.
[00:58:26] It is not bad.
[00:58:27] It's tedious.
[00:58:28] Battlefield Earth is fucking amazing.
[00:58:30] I can't wait.
[00:58:31] All of course is gonna fly.
[00:58:32] That's what it's like.
[00:58:33] It is a fucking amazing...
[00:58:34] Do you know about it?
[00:58:35] Sort of.
[00:58:36] Do you know what it is?
[00:58:37] It's an Elronic opera movie.
[00:58:38] It's an Elronic opera movie.
[00:58:39] All these psychos.
[00:58:40] Yeah.
[00:58:41] Scientists were like, we're gonna make this movie.
[00:58:44] And it's fucking absurd.
[00:58:46] Travolta is on 1000.
[00:58:48] Oh, wait.
[00:58:49] Hold on a second, dude.
[00:58:50] This man fucked up.
[00:58:51] I've said it before in the show, but my favorite line ever written is in that movie.
[00:58:55] What is it?
[00:58:56] When Barry Pepper speaks their silent language.
[00:58:58] Is he a silentologist?
[00:58:59] Guys, guys, guys, please know spoilers.
[00:59:01] We're about to watch it.
[00:59:03] When we can talk about it afterwards.
[00:59:04] Barry Pepper speaks their silent language.
[00:59:06] I'm taking my headphones off.
[00:59:08] I'm taking my headphones off and I'm plugging up my ears.
[00:59:11] Alright, never mind.
[00:59:12] What is it?
[00:59:13] I guess we'll, is ears are plugged, just say it.
[00:59:15] We'll just, we'll do it later.
[00:59:17] We'll watch it later.
[00:59:18] We'll watch it later because we can see it.
[00:59:19] We can see it.
[00:59:20] We can't hear one line from the...
[00:59:22] I don't like spoilers.
[00:59:24] It's not a spoiler.
[00:59:25] There's nothing to do with the plot.
[00:59:26] It's just a line.
[00:59:28] I don't want anything spoiled for me now.
[00:59:31] Can we say this?
[00:59:32] Gene Rottenberry fucked two of the bitches on Star's name.
[00:59:35] His name is Gene Rotten.
[00:59:36] He fucked the black girl.
[00:59:37] He did fuck the black girl.
[00:59:38] She's hot.
[00:59:39] Michelle Nichols.
[00:59:40] That's where you're married.
[00:59:41] How do you know Barry?
[00:59:42] Barry's know this stuff and it's like...
[00:59:43] I'm looking it up.
[00:59:44] But where is your source?
[00:59:46] Because you're always, anytime anyone comes up you're like, oh yeah.
[00:59:49] I haven't read a single piece of Faulkner but I do know that his penis was 6.32 inch.
[00:59:54] First of all, I don't know what Faulkner's cock looks like.
[00:59:58] And he fucked you door wealthy.
[01:00:00] Who's that?
[01:00:01] Oh, mutant ex.
[01:00:03] That was another big series from that period.
[01:00:05] You remember that show?
[01:00:06] No, I remember that.
[01:00:08] Oh dude, listen to this fucking pimp.
[01:00:11] He was dating both the black lady on Star Trek and Michelle Nichols and Major Barrett, who
[01:00:18] I guess was also on Star Trek.
[01:00:21] And then after several months, it was a quaranticopedia.
[01:00:24] After several months he introduced Nichols to Barrett with whom he had also been having
[01:00:28] a relationship.
[01:00:29] At the time, Rottenberry wanted to remain in open relationship with both women.
[01:00:33] But Nichols, recognizing Barrett's devotion to him, ended the affair she did not want
[01:00:37] to be the other woman to the other woman.
[01:00:38] Literally Nick's joke about Gene Rottenberry getting mad pussy in the 60s because you
[01:00:43] make Star Trek is just salute dude.
[01:00:47] That's a Gene Rottenberry real fast dude of the week.
[01:00:51] Yeah, he is the real last dude of the week.
[01:00:54] He got mad pussy in the 60s.
[01:00:57] How are you, Henry?
[01:00:58] I love Gene Rottenberry dude.
[01:01:01] The bulldog has done it again.
[01:01:03] Shout-out to the big, the lower Drodinberry.
[01:01:06] That's me dude.
[01:01:08] Call me Star Trek Rottenberry the way I'm about to get pussy.
[01:01:11] I also think he had a wife while he was fucking both of them.
[01:01:14] Yeah, his wife, he died and he was like, make my show bitch.
[01:01:17] And after he died, she had to make that make battlefield earth.
[01:01:22] Mm-hmm.
[01:01:23] Dude, he had a cool look.
[01:01:25] Yeah, I love his look.
[01:01:27] Oh, damn.
[01:01:29] By the time he started on the series, Nichols said that they were only good friends as his
[01:01:33] involvement with Barrett continued.
[01:01:35] However, during the production of the first season, writer Ken Cole bent to Rottenberry's
[01:01:39] office to issue my happy birthday and found Nichols there naked and under the desk.
[01:01:45] Dude, look at this headline.
[01:01:47] This rules.
[01:01:48] Patrick Stewart thinks Gene Rottenberry never really accepted him as Captain Picard.
[01:01:52] Oh, hell yeah.
[01:01:53] Can you imagine that?
[01:01:54] Like to be such a pimp that you made Patrick Stewart like turn you into his like absentee
[01:02:01] father who's approval will never win?
[01:02:04] Hell yeah, dude.
[01:02:05] I just want Gene.
[01:02:06] I want Gene got so much pussy that I wanted to be.
[01:02:09] Gene, Gene, Gene, Gene, Gene, Gene, Gene, Gene, Gene, Gene, Gene, Gene, Gene, Gene,
[01:02:11] I want Gene to think that I'm cool.
[01:02:14] Just tell me that I'm John Luke Picard.
[01:02:17] Gene always said my penis wasn't big enough.
[01:02:22] Captain, I want to show Gene my penis.
[01:02:25] Oh, no, Mr. Wolf.
[01:02:28] I think he's mad at me.
[01:02:30] Dude, I'm going to do more re-
[01:02:32] Yeah, y'all better be in character in there.
[01:02:37] I'm trying to get pussy in my trailer.
[01:02:41] Come up with this bag of science shit.
[01:02:44] Y'all ruin it by being out of Kirk.
[01:02:47] Oh, damn.
[01:02:48] He is from Texas.
[01:02:50] Yeah.
[01:02:51] He's like that fucking like, police.
[01:02:53] He's from Elvino.
[01:02:54] Realized dude of the millennium.
[01:02:56] Yeah.
[01:02:57] West Texas.
[01:02:58] I'm trying to come up with this science shit and y'all showed each other your cocks.
[01:03:01] Shit, you better, I better, I'm about ready for my fucking 11 a.m. Martini.
[01:03:06] Oh, you know he was drinking more.
[01:03:09] Dude, I love this fucking guy.
[01:03:11] No, we get it started every morning.
[01:03:13] I eat an entire tube of Jimmie Dean.
[01:03:15] Wash it down with half a handle of Spadka.
[01:03:18] And then we get right into the science fiction.
[01:03:21] I'm going to say here it comes now.
[01:03:23] Spaceship goes faster than light.
[01:03:25] Ten times.
[01:03:27] One of the fastest ships on earth.
[01:03:29] That's right.
[01:03:30] Fastest ship in space.
[01:03:32] It's so funny.
[01:03:33] We got in the first iteration of the show, we got this man similar to myself going around
[01:03:38] the universe fucking every kind of pussy there is.
[01:03:41] That word comes back and they say we want something a little more updated now that the
[01:03:45] cold war is fading now.
[01:03:47] I said, okay, we'll put some kind of bald guy in there and make him French or something
[01:03:51] so people think maybe he's gay.
[01:03:53] They said that's not enough.
[01:03:54] We need a black guy.
[01:03:55] I'm like, all right, but he ain't going to have a bigger cock than me.
[01:03:58] I'll tell you that right now.
[01:04:00] I'm right now.
[01:04:01] We're going to do this.
[01:04:04] We're going to give him a small cock, make him angry.
[01:04:07] Dude, we pissed off.
[01:04:09] Let him allege.
[01:04:11] Oh man.
[01:04:12] Have you excused me?
[01:04:13] I got some casting to do.
[01:04:16] Dude, I'm about to do some research on him.
[01:04:20] I want to learn his whole life story.
[01:04:22] Dude, I mean, you could tell all that just from his name.
[01:04:24] I mean, it's true.
[01:04:25] True.
[01:04:26] I thought he'd be British.
[01:04:27] He did sound British to me.
[01:04:28] I thought he was British too.
[01:04:30] Gene, Rod and Rod and Berrair.
[01:04:32] Rod and Berrair.
[01:04:33] No.
[01:04:34] No, it's even better that he's from Texas.
[01:04:37] Yeah.
[01:04:38] I mean, his name is, well, be like Leaf Gunderson.
[01:04:40] Yeah.
[01:04:41] I love Leaf.
[01:04:43] Just a big Texas Swede.
[01:04:45] Mm-hmm.
[01:04:46] You know?
[01:04:47] Mm-hmm.
[01:04:48] A big Czech Texan.
[01:04:49] Aren't they German?
[01:04:51] German Czech.
[01:04:52] Czech.
[01:04:53] A lot of Germans, yeah.
[01:04:54] Well, it's a Kalachas or big in Texas.
[01:04:58] Nice.
[01:04:59] All right.
[01:05:00] Well, folks, by the calendars, go to StaviBaby.biz, buy my calendars, go to cum.town.
[01:05:05] Buy Nick Schurz.
[01:05:06] Come down town to get shirts.
[01:05:07] You're running out of time to get them in time for the holidays.
[01:05:09] Also, stock is limited.
[01:05:11] Check that out.
[01:05:12] Check that out.
[01:05:13] And also, if you like the show, you want some more.
[01:05:14] Go to patreon.com slash comtown.
[01:05:17] You can listen to the premium.
[01:05:18] Double the shows, you fucking idiots.
[01:05:20] It's the whole backlog.
[01:05:21] Oh, I remember any fucking bullshit.
[01:05:23] Probably 203 and so.
[01:05:25] Oh, the bowl of time we were listening.
[01:05:30] Check it out.
[01:05:31] Go take a look at that.
[01:05:32] Do this dumb shit for five years.
[01:05:34] Yes.
[01:05:35] Fucking now I'm too old where it's not even funny anymore.
[01:05:39] And maybe I might be doing shows in New Jersey this weekend if Corona hasn't ravaged everything.
[01:05:45] That is getting canceled.
[01:05:46] Probably canceled.
[01:05:47] That's not having a chance.
[01:05:50] But there's a small chance it hasn't.
[01:05:52] People are going to be listening to this on the fucking moon.
[01:05:55] The other time this comes out.
[01:05:57] It's Jean's plan.
[01:05:58] I hope so.
[01:05:59] I imagine that there's a virus.
[01:06:01] I'm saying there's a virus, but it's not one of these new fuck viruses they got.
[01:06:05] I'm trying to scare us away from the gay virus.
[01:06:08] They're trying to scare us off from the pussy getting, but I'll tell you, brother, I found
[01:06:12] a system.
[01:06:13] All right.
[01:06:14] Come up with space shit.
[01:06:15] Tell women you're an astronaut.
[01:06:17] Go out to bars.
[01:06:18] I don't have to learn how to first of all, they wouldn't take me because my eyesight's
[01:06:21] too bad because I got maced a couple of years back for getting a little too sweet and waiting
[01:06:27] for fuck up my eyes and there goes flight school.
[01:06:32] Failed out, spent a bunch of time drifting around working in oil fields and stuff.
[01:06:36] And I thought, what if what if there was a black guy with a small car?
[01:06:40] I started a war for a lot of people don't know that.
[01:06:44] It was the first start.
[01:06:45] It went back from there.
[01:06:46] Yeah.
[01:06:47] And they said, we need another black guy too.
[01:06:48] I'm like, all right.
[01:06:49] I'm making them blind.
[01:06:52] I met in Marcellus a couple of years ago.
[01:06:57] All right.