Cum Town | Regular | 01/06/2021
[00:00:20] You're not allowed to sue us because you're Australian.
[00:00:26] We've got a new law that says Sheila's.
[00:00:29] You can't do your lawsuit because you're a cunt.
[00:00:54] I say the same so in a different fashion.
[00:01:06] She's getting your dick sucked through a Digerie dude.
[00:01:10] That's probably the funniest hate crime.
[00:01:13] But the funniest one is sticking your dick in the end of a Digerie dude.
[00:01:17] While an Aboriginal is trying to play it.
[00:01:25] And then you just put your cock in there.
[00:01:27] I mean, you're not going to be a result.
[00:01:28] Putting your cock in an instrument somebody's playing.
[00:01:32] Like if I put, how long does the instrument have to be where it's not sexual assault?
[00:01:36] Next time we go to Australia, we should find a guy playing a Digerie dude.
[00:01:41] You're like, oh it's a Digerie dude, right?
[00:02:02] It hurts when I think I'm about when it's full speed.
[00:02:27] Any of the 12 girls listening, stop gives.
[00:02:30] And they're just as good on a shoulder as they are in a pussy or around a titty.
[00:02:40] Actually, I actually sued Ben Carson because gifted hands is my mom.
[00:02:44] I told you, I thought that the name of his book was, I was trying to remember it and what popped
[00:02:48] in my head was if these hands could be a pussy.
[00:02:55] It's crazy that he died from coronavirus.
[00:03:05] We haven't done this in so long that I'm like worried that this is just not recording anything.
[00:03:12] Everything lights are on, but it's just a clock.
[00:03:15] We'll just record the audio on my phone.
[00:03:17] Yeah, and release the shit he's done over all time.
[00:03:25] I'd like to say thank you to Shout Engine for years of thanking Shout Engine.
[00:03:33] And then we had to switch just because I guess we need better stats.
[00:03:42] We got the first bill from the new host.
[00:03:48] I mean, we're going to have to switch the phone audio.
[00:03:51] Yo, let's get that notice that I'm going.
[00:03:58] Like anywhere close to it's got to be like fucking 10,000 percent.
[00:04:01] We should get we should get littler audio files.
[00:04:07] Shout Engine like compressed all your shit.
[00:04:15] If I hadn't is it like a reverse of a hard car?
[00:04:18] If I haven't learned at this point, the thing audio engineering is kind of like cooking and
[00:04:22] to be good at you have to be like kind of like a like a homo sorta.
[00:04:27] Yeah, I wouldn't say that Bobby Flay gets a lot of pussy.
[00:04:52] I'm feeling a little January Jones right now.
[00:05:04] I accidentally became addicted to cradum.
[00:05:07] Nick was texting me one of their thighs for cradum withdrawals.
[00:05:16] I think for seven seasons she's just having a name.
[00:05:23] But, you know, her face has a nice little charm to it as well.
[00:05:45] Liz, oh, like, mentioned that she was like going on a diet and all these fat women were
[00:05:56] This is violence against me personally.
[00:05:59] Wow, I can't believe how many people are sharing this fucking body negative clothes.
[00:06:12] You guys, you can say it, but I have lost 150 pounds.
[00:06:23] And that's why I keep it secret because imagine the beautiful little fat boys that would be
[00:06:29] crying into their pillows if they knew they lost their biggest hero and inspiration.
[00:06:35] So if you have a fat son who's listening...
[00:06:36] Your skin looks better than it normally does.
[00:06:40] I was the 20,000 step bastard in December.
[00:06:47] And yeah, I've been eating fish a lot of fish.
[00:06:50] Yeah, I really fucking destroyed myself in December.
[00:06:56] I don't know how you feel, but you look good.
[00:07:02] This part of my knees sort of hurt whatever this bone is.
[00:07:06] This shit started hurting so I started...
[00:07:10] I put him more weight on this leg and now this knee's fucked up.
[00:07:18] Dude, speaking of, did you see the fucking...
[00:07:31] Before his even his arm, he goes to like dunk.
[00:07:33] And then he just breaks his knee approaching the hoop.
[00:07:37] So his knee just gives out and then as he falls to the ground, he snaps his arm.
[00:07:49] Not even from trying to dunk because if you realize that it falls apart when he's considering
[00:07:57] It's the first time he was biting, he was going to even sort of explode at all.
[00:08:02] The first instance of wielding towards explosion for a dunk.
[00:08:07] And it all happened on like a livestream.
[00:08:10] Pick up basketball games have killed more comedians than code.
[00:08:15] This wasn't like a video you really posted.
[00:08:20] It's like he's become the guy that post fucked up videos.
[00:08:25] It's actually poetic, although I feel sorry for the guy.
[00:08:34] In a way that doesn't even make me feel like...
[00:08:37] Because it's just like seeing somebody like dribble a ball twice and then just...
[00:08:46] If I will not play basketball until I lose 70 pounds.
[00:08:50] That's the next time I'm playing basketball.
[00:09:06] Bro, they literally... he showed his x-rays like he posted this shit.
[00:09:13] Like it snapped and they had to put like fucking eight nails in his fucking arm to get his shit.
[00:09:21] Like I did not even know an arm could snap that much from that kind of injury.
[00:09:25] I was laughing about like a trans person getting the surgery and then they have a caster on
[00:09:29] their penis and all their friends are signing the cast.
[00:09:37] Can't wait to see this thing in action.
[00:09:39] Yeah, but you're going to have such a cool penis.
[00:09:42] You're going to have such a cool penis.
[00:09:47] Once they start giving the kids the surgeries.
[00:10:03] This is awesome because I don't remember anything from any of the episodes.
[00:10:08] They're probably going to be so pissed.
[00:10:09] I also don't remember exactly what Biden even...
[00:10:15] He hasn't said shit about fucking $2000.
[00:10:17] The only thing he said is like the situation on the border you're going to need to book your
[00:10:26] You're going to need to slow your cookies.
[00:10:32] There was something like reporter that's like, the story is about your son.
[00:10:36] Do you still think that's Russian disinformation?
[00:10:42] You're a two-time jolly Sunday over here.
[00:10:46] You've got a one horse, one horse, Davey.
[00:10:49] Does he kill somebody with one horse pony?
[00:10:53] It is going to be hilarious how fucking horrible he's going to be a president.
[00:11:01] But in my own head, you know better than to know that the election and then the change
[00:11:08] of the year isn't suddenly going to make anything let up.
[00:11:11] But no matter what, at least internally, on an emotional level, there's still some idea
[00:11:19] Yeah, and then as soon as like, yeah Biden's like, ah we're going to keep those kids in
[00:11:25] We're going to, we're going to, we're going to, I don't even mean politically.
[00:11:31] No, the whole world, I know nothing's going to change.
[00:11:37] They're not going to give people enough fucking money to survive.
[00:11:40] I'm going to day trade my way out of it.
[00:11:46] I want to be a fucking real estate mogul I've decided.
[00:11:50] I'm going to buy every house in Greek town.
[00:11:52] I was looking at real estate in New York and it's not getting any cheaper.
[00:11:58] Because it's all going to be bought up by fucking like Chinese.
[00:12:04] It's going to be the people that get Chinese food on Christmas and the people that sell
[00:12:09] That's who gets all the fucking houses.
[00:12:11] And everything's going to be Chinese food restaurants.
[00:12:28] Dude, I was just thinking about this the other day.
[00:12:32] Because I don't know what to give it shit about Chinese food.
[00:12:34] But going to Chinese buffet is an adult.
[00:12:36] That's like that's David Bosters for you.
[00:12:38] Dude, getting higher than draft pussy and going to fucking just the shittiest.
[00:12:49] And just seeing a fucking getting so many chicken tenders and chicken wings.
[00:12:54] When all this opens up, I'm going to open a Chinese buffet place.
[00:12:58] But as you eat tickets come out of the table.
[00:13:02] So the more you eat, there's a scale on the table that weighs how much your food is.
[00:13:06] And it as the food comes off, you get more tickets.
[00:13:09] So you got to exchange your tickets for prizes.
[00:13:12] Yeah, you get heartburn medicine, you get diabetic socks.
[00:13:16] Yeah, vampire teeth, but also real replacement teeth.
[00:13:22] Yeah, dude, all I want is to be crushing my fifth plate while watching a Hispanic family
[00:13:38] If I had a basement, I'd put one of the super shot between because that would rock.
[00:13:48] I would want one of those in an NBA jams console or a Simpsons console.
[00:14:02] I'm going to give him a shout out again.
[00:14:09] I like to imagine I'm Obi-Wan and he's a Jedi that never got good at the force at all.
[00:14:17] He was just out of the dark side of admitting that it was a lack of talent.
[00:14:30] He decided to rebrand himself as a public intellectual instead of a Jedi.
[00:14:35] But back when we were friends, we were going to pin balls.
[00:14:40] I remember it was one night, we just scored a bunch of beer and the fucking the newspaper thing.
[00:14:47] As a family, we would just go outside and drink beers out of the newspaper thing.
[00:15:00] Then just go because you couldn't have beer because it was literally a children's establishment.
[00:15:04] Yeah, well, I remember like bitching about there being children there.
[00:15:08] And then he's like, that's like the most Austin state.
[00:15:11] You're going to fucking pinball arcade and bitch about family is being there.
[00:15:19] You're trying to break the rules and get drunk and working on it next to the, you know, whatever.
[00:15:25] Yeah, get trashed by the Sopranos pinball game.
[00:15:35] I heard Rebecca started doing OnlyFans toward the end and they changed the name to a peek
[00:15:48] She would sit on the open mic stage and show her pussy to a camera set up on the far end
[00:15:54] She would go on OnlyFans and you'd be looking at a woman 35 feet away.
[00:16:01] There could probably be an open mic of OnlyFans.
[00:16:05] There's enough people like Open Micros that do OnlyFans that you could probably...
[00:16:11] Everyone's got their titties out for money.
[00:16:15] I wonder if I could have one if gay men would pay to see my balls and how much.
[00:16:21] I heard celebs are going into it now and not like showing dick.
[00:16:25] Yeah, Cardi B has one and Michael B. Jordan's getting one.
[00:16:40] It's so funny that we've landed on a world where everyone's convinced that not only should
[00:16:44] you but it's also good to whore yourself out on the internet.
[00:16:48] You should just be like a fucking bottom dollar prostitute.
[00:16:51] It's a new way to connect with your fans.
[00:16:57] I was thinking about this because it's like I don't give a do whatever you fucking want.
[00:17:01] Well you don't have to be a prostitute I guess.
[00:17:05] Yeah, you sell your nudes in a, you know, special...
[00:17:11] If that's not a sign that society is crumbling I don't know what is.
[00:17:20] Us and them are the last two jobs in America.
[00:17:24] And what they do is so much more valuable to society.
[00:17:31] To do something because it was a hobby five years ago.
[00:17:34] Literally the only reason this started is so that when we did stand up you could like
[00:17:38] kind of string together like a consistent audience.
[00:17:46] And then I mean I guess I got writing work and so stand up fell by the wayside anyways.
[00:17:51] But like now stand up doesn't even exist.
[00:17:55] Now it's just this thing which is even further removed from being any kind of like creative
[00:18:00] output and stand up is even which was already pretty fucking lazy.
[00:18:08] It's like because even if you didn't feel like writing you just get on stage and be funny.
[00:18:15] I just didn't work at all for the last few weeks but I fucking called somebody.
[00:18:23] And then you think of one like one new joke and you're like I did it and it's like 25
[00:18:30] You did it 25 seconds of work and then you're like yeah I got some new stuff and you're
[00:18:36] just working on that bit for four weeks.
[00:18:38] And this is like I don't even remember this show happening.
[00:18:49] It's crazy that this is what has made our lives so easy.
[00:18:57] It was really funny when Jake did the show, Jake had and he was like damn.
[00:19:01] I mean I didn't think you guys had a fucking a script.
[00:19:06] We're like yeah man we just fucking talk for an hour.
[00:19:11] Yeah that's all that's all a podcast is.
[00:19:15] And people loving these fucking everyone fucking eats it up.
[00:19:22] I mean I listen to a ton of podcasts but I don't listen to any fucking comedy podcast.
[00:19:26] I listen to one soccer one basketball podcast.
[00:19:46] I was expecting to be like oh it's a couple of pedophiles.
[00:19:49] It's the gay guys only listening to the soccer podcast.
[00:20:28] I've never thought I'm always listening to a basketball podcast.
[00:20:32] Or just talking sopranos which is the best podcast.
[00:20:37] It's Michael and Perioli and Steve Sharip.
[00:20:39] I have to say listening to that podcast makes me understand what people.
[00:20:42] What's the Michael and Perioli podcast?
[00:20:49] Can I say something embarrassing about the one time I listened to it?
[00:20:53] I felt like I knew more about sopranos than them.
[00:20:57] I felt that I just felt like you're so I felt like I knew more.
[00:21:08] Well we're like analyzing stuff and I'm like alright you got half of the point I guess.
[00:21:12] Okay but the point is actors they're just actors.
[00:21:15] They're just the people involved in the fucking project.
[00:21:19] Michael and Perioli wrote for the show.
[00:21:21] Harrison Ford like famously despises Star Wars and hates Star Wars.
[00:21:26] But they love the show and Perioli wrote for it.
[00:21:29] I listened literally as a half of an episode.
[00:21:41] I'll tell you what if you're a piece of shit and your dick doesn't work.
[00:21:47] We're pleased to announce that our good friends Blue Choo have returned as a sponsor of the
[00:21:58] These are little difference in the packaging.
[00:22:02] Because I had my shit on like fucking I need nine pills a day.
[00:22:08] Yeah then quarantine happened and then I had this like stockpile.
[00:22:13] And what I've now found that if like if there was like we were like the bunker down there's
[00:22:21] I would need to fill the bunker with blue chew pills.
[00:22:25] Because yeah because I started going through them.
[00:22:28] Because you're right the old packaging there's like too much packaging going on.
[00:22:32] And so you think you have way more than you do.
[00:22:36] It's in a like a what's it called like a foil.
[00:22:47] They're a shape like they're in like a Mentos tube now.
[00:22:52] I'm only 30 years old and I think those two get on.
[00:23:11] Anyway if you are in the closet like me and Nick I had them over here.
[00:23:26] They were like oh time to take a blue chew and have sex with a girl.
[00:23:31] Why can't I just be with a guy like Elliot Page.
[00:23:34] I can't I just be gay and have sex with Elliot Page.
[00:23:42] God damn I really want to just show my cock into Elliot's pussy.
[00:23:55] Honestly I didn't say anything about that.
[00:24:00] How would a brave thing to do to come out for the ninth time?
[00:24:05] That is yeah he has done it a couple times.
[00:24:10] Although now take that song let's twist again like we did.
[00:24:39] But regardless whether you're a man with a penis or a woman with a penis and you want to get it hard.
[00:24:45] You got to go to our friends over a blue tree.
[00:24:47] And like I said the fresh pack it's getting my dick harder than it has in years.
[00:24:52] It's even I don't know if they change the formula they have in you pharmacy.
[00:24:55] I don't know what it is but my cock is screaming right now.
[00:24:59] You know how it's got the flames in the face and it's screaming. That's what my cock is like now
[00:25:06] It's a wild thing and it's going in there and I don't even have to work sometimes
[00:25:10] With the old packaging or maybe it was because I was even fatter and doing more drugs
[00:25:15] My dick would even need to a little kickstart even on a blue chew. Yeah now folks with the new the new pack
[00:25:22] My dick like I said harder than it's been in centuries
[00:25:25] And if you want your cock to be like that and here's it's not like we're selling you fucking
[00:25:31] You know random herbs. This isn't fucking you know Chinese fucking
[00:25:35] Lemon grass or moose root or whatever the fuck it's right
[00:25:39] This is a this is the same active ingredients in Viagra and Cialis to daddle a fill and sit down in the fulfill
[00:25:45] Mm-hmm, and it's getting your dick so fucking hard. I'm playing the music from blue-choo's video. Oh, that's awesome
[00:25:53] Yep, enjoy enjoy getting your prick and see that now the blue chew
[00:25:58] They'll be like wow. Thanks for doing the audio making this sound really
[00:26:09] But yeah, you go you talk to a fuck you don't even have to tell no doctors visit it you're like please doctor
[00:26:14] I remember at one point. I tried to trick my Italian doctor when I was in Baltimore still
[00:26:20] I said I was pissing all the time and I read somewhere on the internet that dick pills solution
[00:26:25] Uh-huh and he didn't believe me, but he still gave me the dick pills anyway, cuz he's a good guy
[00:26:30] What a nice guy. You're not gonna get a guy like that. You're not gonna get a guy like my friend Vincenzo, okay?
[00:26:40] Don't want to say his last name. Oh, no, you know
[00:26:51] Why is it so slow because Chinese people have a
[00:27:05] Arabs won't allow to look at either dicks the shit you are
[00:27:11] How dare you say what is Chichua one of the most one of the most beautiful native languages
[00:27:19] We had a big saying what is Chichua is the cancelable
[00:27:23] How dare you fucking ask that question you're fired from the reservation
[00:27:34] Good old American style. That's right. So
[00:27:37] Why dick doesn't work, but yeah, you want to do is go to fucking bluetooth.com you put in
[00:27:45] Promo code come down current town. I believe so and you get it maybe it's in function back
[00:27:56] You need to talk in French mon flute isn't it?
[00:28:03] I honestly think it is there's something like that funny
[00:28:18] Why do you see wait do you have the option to make them sound like their own fucking cat
[00:28:21] I mean when you rip hit play twice on Google translate it
[00:29:30] Now you understand how to do it all of a sudden to do that though
[00:29:48] Got the plits of the gum and you can get your tene penis hard
[00:29:53] Mm-hmm. Really. It's a fantastic product that we all stand behind. We all stand behind we we fucking advertise a lot of products on this show
[00:30:15] And you get the fuck a Greek woman's pussy if you log on to bluetooth.com yeah
[00:30:20] Yes, blue chew calm promo code come time my pussy abuse to the com promo code fun go fun go
[00:30:39] It's promo code come time correctly go. It might be come town or come town or come town or I'm looking it up now
[00:30:47] Um, yeah, why don't you talk about your experience?
[00:30:51] Doing a video whatever I just did a video what a moco. Do you have a secret?
[00:31:02] 21 but I made it I wanted to say that well
[00:31:09] Well she pronounced it how did she play it again
[00:31:16] Okay, it's with an am okay. It's the m word. It's the m word
[00:31:32] They call the mom's all confused they call you the what the m word
[00:31:38] They they call you a boop boop. No no mongoloid. Oh
[00:31:52] I thought you're getting crazy now son with all this political correctness. You don't even know half the letters
[00:31:58] What's that word spell it and then I'll get mad. Go ahead. If you
[00:32:02] Don't even know what they're saying. You got to stop having me fight your battles for you
[00:32:12] Mentally disabled kid. All right easy. It's secret swim time. All right, you're in fifth grade, but I don't know how to swim
[00:32:20] That's part of the problem. It's promo code come town. It's promo code come town. It's promo code come town
[00:32:24] If you like sex you'll love you'll love you'll love getting pussy. That's true. They should rebrand is that
[00:32:30] What's up with mr. Peanut? He keeps he's dead and now he's a baby, but they brought him back
[00:32:36] Oh, it's like they're getting into the baby yoda craze
[00:32:39] I don't fucking have a baby your shut down the baby yoda by the way the man the laurian is good. You watched it
[00:32:45] I did I watched it on acid my father. My father was it really his big fan. Tell him to call me. We'll talk about it
[00:32:51] I want to get fucked in my ass my baby. I don't I want baby yoda to use the force to fuck my house
[00:32:56] Something like that open up my house with the force baby yoda
[00:33:10] That's trying to think best car is the hardest metal in the universe by the way. So that's why in mandalorian
[00:33:15] And the star wars um cannon you can even fight a lightsaber with it
[00:33:19] Wow, and that's where your dad wants it his ass by to be clear
[00:33:23] Because it's not very close because it's that hard well not for you, but for a gay man
[00:33:28] Well, I guess for you. I don't know if it's I mean once it gets hard
[00:33:30] You know, I don't know if you need it to be the hardest. I guess that's true
[00:33:34] A hard dick is hard, but compared to metal a hard dick is still a little it's got a little gears a little good
[00:33:41] But welcome back youtube pipe smokers munch up Piper here. Oh, it's your pipe guy of this guy
[00:33:46] Is that playing through the thing? Yeah, it's just loud as fuck. No, that sounds really loud. It sounds good
[00:33:51] It's just yeah that pipe got some videos and tiled sounds like we're in the room of the kind of
[00:33:59] This is the kind of thing you've been watching dude. I love this guy
[00:34:03] It's so funny. He just like lives in his basement. I don't know if he's like got like a family or something upstairs, but
[00:34:11] Fuck yeah, I'm about to be a basement dweller dude
[00:34:13] And redoing the basement of Baltimore pipe smokers and well, this is this is the quote. This is a right influence me to start smoking a pipe
[00:34:30] Reading about pipe smokers in the lord of the ring
[00:34:51] Fuck yeah, dude that rocks. Mm-hmm. That guy's cool. That guy is cool
[00:34:56] Welcome back youtube pipe smokers munch up hyper here munch up hyper
[00:35:08] I guess I should do my job. He's pretty cool and said it. Yeah, no this guy rules
[00:35:16] He'd been letting the pipe fly. Yeah, I got it
[00:35:18] I've been just smoking the pipe in the apartment
[00:35:21] You smoked it in my apartment and it smelled like pipe for a couple days. Yeah, it smells good
[00:35:33] You can't smoke a pipe in another man's house man. Yes. You know, I mean we were doing
[00:35:38] You're smoking other stuff. We're smoking dust
[00:35:41] You're smoking angel. I also came over just started smoking it casually. Yeah, even outside of the context of that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a movie
[00:35:48] You bring your pipe. Yeah, that's wildly disrespectful
[00:35:51] Go to this time smoking someone's home. It's like a 1942
[00:35:59] Yes, there's a weight to the smell. Yeah, a cigarette that doesn't smell
[00:36:04] You can't I would say that I would not smoke a cigarette and somebody's I would not let me be very clear
[00:36:09] I don't want either. I'll say a cigarette. I mean, maybe it's the volume of smoke
[00:36:13] But a cigarette wouldn't last as long. That's probably fair one cigarette
[00:36:16] It's I had growing up one of my best friends parents were smokers. It just ripped six all day indoors. Yeah
[00:36:22] Yeah, that smelled horrific dude. Yeah, you went into that guy's house your clothes smelled like cigarettes for fucking
[00:36:28] I went yeah, I went uh, I got a fucking
[00:36:31] for the credenza off of craigslist ones from these two
[00:36:36] Sisters that smoked in their house for like 50 years
[00:36:39] That's awesome. And you wiped the soot like the soot that came all the way
[00:36:44] No, they were both dead of emphysema and they're the kids said again say it again. M. Fizema shut up
[00:36:55] You don't you don't say emphysema you know you've never heard anyone say that just don't be funny in that moment
[00:37:07] Saying it to be funny. I should say a joke here and it lands on i'm gonna say a word dumb on purpose
[00:37:13] Don't do it. It's not even how I say the word you've never said it that way
[00:37:17] I've said that word to you before where have you heard it that way?
[00:37:20] Where did you learn to say it that way?
[00:37:22] Well, we used to live when I was growing up. We used to always that how they pronounce it in Las Vegas
[00:37:29] Where we live by all these old ladies of that's only because he would he thought he was pronouncing my dad called a
[00:37:35] Gay-amf guys. He maybe he called the house chateau and madam. I have F guy Zima
[00:37:46] I'm effing man off Zima. I've got emf guys
[00:37:55] They keep stretching me they keep reaching into my
[00:38:02] They've got a new card called a stretch limo because you could put it in your ass to prepare yourself
[00:38:15] How do you celebrate best emphysema motherfuckers?
[00:38:17] You know exactly how we say it the way everyone in the fucking world says it the way you've heard it said in in a
[00:38:26] Emphyse even even your dad doesn't say it that way he says he used to call emphysema
[00:38:33] Maybe that's all well here's the thing I say words wrong all the time not as a bit
[00:38:38] But sometimes I do do it to be a little quirky but not in that context. I was a horrible way to that's a horrible
[00:38:49] In the kitchen whipping a substance and rice crispy treats. I don't
[00:38:52] Be awesome. I can't I have to I have to be a
[00:38:56] Undying about this counterpoint rice crispy treats
[00:39:02] You know what I did do over winter break with we've got a guy's car
[00:39:05] Which we've talked about somebody do this to me favorite and whip up a little drawing of snap crackle and pop having sex with the pet boys
[00:39:13] Yeah, there's just a three on three kind of sex way. We're doing who's fucking who in the end is that Brady
[00:39:22] Guys yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, man another guy and then they were all gay
[00:39:34] Called the game the gay guy bunch the gay guy
[00:39:40] That's possibly the dumbest one of all one of the smartest in the songs also fucked each other's one one time
[00:39:46] Well, God met another guy and that guy also had three sons and the two guys had sex with each other
[00:39:57] Actually, we're all gay and they were all gay. They were all gay. It's pretty funny
[00:40:04] In retrospect. So anyway, you were you were at and retrospect
[00:40:08] Speaked he was shadow and Faisie Adam retrospect
[00:40:14] Banana pudding with the Nilla wafers inside of respect we've been talking about for a month being respect
[00:40:20] I think I might have yellow banana cream pudding mix. Yeah my in my cabinet
[00:40:26] How are they gonna put that shit in fucking anything? So make it taste five smoothies. Yep. Yeah, absolutely
[00:40:33] I do think I might have some in the fridge. I don't know how long it laughs
[00:40:41] No liberty mutual now you're ruining bits
[00:40:48] Someone else's fault my day my day suck my day
[00:40:52] My day has the worst commercials. Yeah, they got very very guy from fucking whiplash
[00:40:57] It's funny because af Geico probably has
[00:41:00] You know in the world of advertising probably the best ads
[00:41:05] Their ads are like totally random. Yeah them and skittles. Yeah
[00:41:11] And then old spice old spice has become a meme into itself
[00:41:15] Spice is kind of like I'm never mad adult swim kind of style. It's one of those things that was good
[00:41:20] It might be annoying now, but it was good. Yeah, I was all right. They had Terry Cruz doing that stuff
[00:41:28] What's going on with that guy? I don't know
[00:41:31] He's like his whole career wasn't like black women or something. Oh, I thought he said he got raped and all of them
[00:41:36] He did get raped or some guy some jewish guy jacked him off or something
[00:41:39] Some big fat jewish just touched his cock at a party or happy honeck
[00:41:47] But then I don't know black people seem to not like Terry or what's his name? Terry Cruz?
[00:41:51] Terry tarry Cruz. I don't know Terry tarry tarry was the office linebacker Terry's cool. Terry poo
[00:41:57] No, I think Terry Cruz was a football player too. Wasn't he? Yeah back in the day
[00:42:02] I don't remember Terry Cruz did some shit over a couple months ago
[00:42:05] I just remember it and one day then somebody sucked my penis
[00:42:08] Terry Cruz is one that I was that he turned out that it was a man it was Adam
[00:42:20] If you had that if you go only you had to choose one if you had one gold brick
[00:42:27] Metal that said gay. Yes. You can only place it around the neck of one. You can only adorn one
[00:42:33] Yeah, Adam would get the man who gets the medal and even though
[00:42:44] At that point I would become jealous and give him the medal but then take the ribbon part for myself
[00:42:50] I want the ribbons actually the gay part the ribbon is just something that means you're a winner
[00:42:59] And I'm keeping the actually the ribbon also says gay
[00:43:07] But I want it because you're gay because I'm the winner because I'm the winner
[00:43:12] It actually turns out that both of you are gay and stop
[00:43:17] I didn't even then they I didn't need them though. I say
[00:43:21] For you you walked in conflict is I know that you guys are both homos and this conflict was resolved when stop ate all the medals
[00:43:40] It's the kind of piece that attaches to a man's balls
[00:43:44] And then the rest of it spelled p and I asked
[00:43:51] NIS only a gunpoint to prove how not gay I am but he is actually holding the gun
[00:43:58] Nake is holding the gun up to his own head
[00:44:16] Jared leto was crazy on the setting come up to me. He would suck my dick at gunpoint, but he was holding the gun
[00:44:25] Let me tell you something since I started this podcast people have been asking me for betting tips. Oh, it's gonna be non-stop
[00:44:30] You guys Lakers are clippers. Mm-hmm. Yeah, and I'll tell you what I tell them where you bet is just as important as who you're betting on
[00:44:36] That's so true. That's true. That's why I tell people to bet with my book
[00:44:44] Is rock solid and they've got the best odds contests and promotions in the business. I love that
[00:44:49] The only place I trust to handle my dick and balls
[00:44:52] So true my NBA related bets the one sports book guaranteed to give me the best lines for the next
[00:44:58] Love the best lines. I used to bet at a place that had horrible lines
[00:45:04] But now with this website the line is the the money line of the money line if the odds
[00:45:11] Plus two and a half got you got you got you
[00:45:14] I thought they meant like lines for the reads. No
[00:45:17] Plus two and a half is a line. It could also be how much bigger Adam's penis gets when it's hard
[00:45:23] Yeah, well, we've all heard the Brady Munch theme song. We all know this already
[00:45:37] Restaurants that are failing in New York should start whoring themselves out like women are doing on the internet only fans
[00:45:42] So yeah like restaurant owners they should be I mean, I guess sort of the peak of my cave. Yep
[00:45:50] Absolutely how funny would be if you go how funny would dad be folks? I imagine something a more
[00:45:58] hysterical everyone wants to see Mario Batali's asshole
[00:46:03] Well, yeah, well, I guess he showed a lot of people that guy fairy in a bowling shirt and flip-flops, but no bottom
[00:46:11] Just as like just as weathered prints. That's a rock star asshole right there
[00:46:19] Hmm. I'm thinking about fucking it right now. Just I got a mirror set up
[00:46:24] We're here in st. Louis where you could take a look at my whole
[00:46:29] Oh, yeah, dude. They've been doing guys grocery games over zoom and sucks
[00:46:34] Man, how are they in a they mail them something? What do you do? You're just watching guy fairy eat fucking shrimp cocktail on no
[00:46:43] Oh, right, right, right, right, right. I remember now. Yeah, it's chopped
[00:46:47] I don't understand. I don't understand the premise of that show. It's like it's a cooking competition super market sweet
[00:46:53] But you can only get ingredients at the place it has all the ingredients. No, there's little games
[00:47:00] Okay, what the fuck is that? There's fucking blue-eyed blue ribbon special or something
[00:47:08] Sometimes stop seems to know a lot about ribbon recipes
[00:47:11] Oh no, I didn't say him. See doesn't it's it's a type of game in guys grocery
[00:47:19] Sometimes you can't go to sir. I've never eaten all of the metal
[00:47:23] I've never eaten the metals except to sales to solve listen back to the song
[00:47:28] Decent amount about ribbon recipes listen back to the song
[00:47:33] I only ate them to solve all our problems
[00:47:35] But you guys ultimately are still just somebody in a grocery store parking lot and they come back their car and is like a note
[00:47:42] The bumper that says I'm sorry, but I ate your autism awareness ribbon
[00:47:48] I apologize. I thought it was a banana last. It was a last minute impulse buy
[00:47:53] I was on the way back to my car and I had already
[00:48:02] And I couldn't help myself with just one last
[00:48:08] Snack wait, what's the yellow ones? Oh, that's that's the truth the troops is yellow
[00:48:14] The troops is yellow didn't they steal that from live strong?
[00:48:16] Was that land or live strong this after that?
[00:48:19] No, there was a song called tie a ribbon round the old oak tree and it was for the troops
[00:48:25] Was it for a yellow ribbon? Yeah, tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree
[00:48:29] You know, it's weird is it's a Tony or any of those ribbon sideways. It's the Jesus fish. That's true. Mm-hmm
[00:48:36] Brother that's something that's pretty interesting
[00:48:42] A lot of things you could turn sideways and they mean something else. Oh, sure
[00:48:47] Like um, this wastica. Well, I think it's the same name. Oh, then it's Buddhist an ancient Buddha symbol
[00:48:54] Worn people about dangerous parasites society
[00:49:02] 98% of the world I got to say the it's anyway
[00:49:06] We don't have to fucking say but it's a cool looking thing news. We're that 11% population has 100
[00:49:12] Tax taken away from that is a very cool shame. That is taking away from his water because it's a cool shame
[00:49:19] It's very fun to draw but let me just be clear the context makes it bad
[00:49:23] It's simple sign up and enter promo code
[00:49:26] Um, what is it my bookies that come town 20? It's got to be come town 21. Let me just this in me an email
[00:49:31] So I'll go ahead. Yeah, it's really simple my bookie dot. I freaking love my bookie dot ag
[00:49:37] I love it. I don't know if they've changed or yeah, what the fuck is that? That's Switzerland?
[00:49:42] Yeah, it's somewhere. It's somewhere. It's somewhere where they definitely force you to pay people all the time
[00:49:50] Company earth my bookie. Let me see here dot ag my bookie dot ag
[00:50:02] Yeah, it's awesome. They got a 50 sports welcome bonus love that they got he can bet with bitcoin
[00:50:08] Come town is a promo code. They got slots. They got live odds bitcoin doing hot right now except for today
[00:50:15] Yeah, I hit 34 over the weekend first deposit bonus up to a thousand
[00:50:26] Mm-hmm and you want to do that because listen the playoffs then be the NFL playoffs are coming up
[00:50:30] We got the NBA season. There's a games every fucking day
[00:50:34] Up to a thousand dollars. I don't know if we said that I believe we did I wish I knew more about sports betting
[00:50:39] I wish I knew more about any kind of betting. Mm-hmm. You could you could get into betting. No, I can't
[00:50:46] I only know how to I'm gonna know that's exactly the kind of people who were into sports betting
[00:50:50] Yeah, but I don't like doing any kind of analysis
[00:50:52] You got to just fucking you just fire things off
[00:50:56] And if you're wrong who gives a shit and if you're right then you don't this important you don't gloat about it
[00:51:01] Right, you just fucking take the fucking winning. Yeah, it's fun to get I like guessing
[00:51:07] I don't like the consequences good or bad
[00:51:09] I wonder how good you would do if you just this is why I don't think with a better record
[00:51:14] This is why I don't think that libel suits should exist. I like to guess I like to be like yeah rick marinas molested his children
[00:51:20] That's why I had to stop acting it was a guess it's a guess right even though it's because his wife died
[00:51:25] I'm guess that his wife killed herself after she called him a lesson
[00:51:29] Okay, it's a guess and if that's why she's but there's so the what's the gamble here if you're right?
[00:51:34] You don't get sued for live if I go to court and I'm like
[00:51:37] You prove it ladies and gentlemen of the jury my interest you in the game of chance cube
[00:51:45] Heads if it comes up six weeks morannis he molested his children
[00:51:51] And if the cube says anything else then I go to j
[00:51:56] And the judge is like you can't that's not how it works in the jury's like we want to play the game
[00:52:00] We want to play chance cube. Fuck you judge. I'm like you
[00:52:03] What it lands on three the judge his rape than mothert is true
[00:52:08] But his chance cube just a piece of diet. It's just a diet. Yeah, it's a space dice not a piece of dice
[00:52:14] Space piece of ass regular six side. I can't wait to get a piece of ass in space dude
[00:52:20] I want a little piece of pussy pie myself
[00:52:23] Space pussy. I've I've I've made no secret of my desire to fuck a bitch that's green with huge tits
[00:52:29] That would be awesome. Yeah, Diora Baird
[00:52:32] I believe is how you say your name in star trek the first one
[00:52:35] Captain Kirk is getting pussy from her. Yeah, give me that green pussy. See your pussy. Let me get my penis inside
[00:52:45] Now if if if your tits are okay, yeah, her skin is green her pussy must be a darker color
[00:52:52] Why don't you just fucking indian girl? I feel like that's as close as you're gonna
[00:52:55] No, it's a they're all I mean lines of colors first of all I would
[00:53:02] I would like to if any of any indian women are out there
[00:53:07] That's purple. It's pink. It's good. It's kind of looks like well. That's what I'm saying
[00:53:11] What color would a green lady's pussy dog that doesn't have any fur?
[00:53:18] Have you seen an animal missus some of its fur and they've got all kinds of spots and surgeries certain people's pussies are like that
[00:53:25] What are you saying? Yeah, yeah, I'm wondering do you think green alien?
[00:53:30] Lady it's purple. You can't say purple pussy. That would be cool. That's settled. We all know that
[00:53:35] So it's Barney. It's reverse of Barney. Yeah, the complimentary color Barney is mostly purple, but green a little bit
[00:53:41] I remember I remember seeing a major that would be cool
[00:53:44] I would like to fuck a purple pussy working with a Pakistani woman every time I talked to her
[00:53:48] I thought about how her pussy was probably purple
[00:53:50] Literally every time I spoke to her. I would be like man. I fucking I want to see you
[00:54:01] No, I think the inside of a pussy is pink the inside is it's pretty it's yes
[00:54:07] No matter what they're all pink on the inside. I believe is a thing. I've heard
[00:54:12] racist people have said about why they have sex with
[00:54:15] Uh different races the racist pussy. Oh, so I just said a racist
[00:54:21] I was trying to say something to Dan nine and dot com you didn't say something
[00:54:30] And I remember thinking well, that's fucked up because though that's true. That's purple my friend
[00:54:40] I guess that's the dark lighting. I would say it's a dark or pussy, but it's a pink. It's a deeper pink. It's a deep pink
[00:54:50] That's that's that's that's that's pink. That's purple. That's what the band deep purple is
[00:55:00] Come on woman's pussy the pussy is all purple
[00:55:15] Dude, how good did it feel to play deep purple on the fucking guitar when you're like 11?
[00:55:19] It's the first thing a riff brother. I'm a rock
[00:55:26] Mount is that air clapped and also no it's deep purple. Yeah, I'm pretty sure every song is air clapped
[00:55:31] Yeah, our old pal. It's so funny that after we did that episode all this shit came out about it being like racist and denying
[00:55:39] I had no idea. That's because god walks with the boys. That's true
[00:55:43] That's not a sign that god is on our side. I don't know what it is. We've been reality to our will
[00:55:47] Uh-huh. And that's why I'm hoping an alien with big tits comes and sucks me off
[00:56:01] He's a line to lay down Sally suck you down my dick
[00:56:25] Yeah, yeah, I guess we didn't we sugar you down my day. I got balls and my dick is hard just to fuck your mouth
[00:56:40] We're gonna pull it up. We've got the fucking we do have the cord now
[00:56:43] Now that they made it a federal crime to stream music on a podcast. I'm gonna break these it really
[00:56:49] You're trying to get us in trouble with the fed. No, dude. Isn't it cultural commentary? No
[00:56:53] Yeah, NPR can talk about fucking music and then they talk about it
[00:56:59] They play a snippet all the time and then they talk about that's what we're doing. We're snippet boys
[00:57:03] We play snippet. We discuss they pay for all of them. I don't think they do it's fair use
[00:57:08] You're listening to him. Said what the heck now, Sam is that the song you're talking about? No, that's
[00:57:26] Dude, how funny would it be to be a guy that loves classic rock we're listening to fucking air clapping and uh
[00:57:32] I don't know how long this fucking pandemic is gonna. Oh, yeah. I know this song
[00:57:39] I'm fucking gay. You can suck my dick in ass. You can take a shit on my chest
[00:57:49] Lay down Sally and suck you down my dick
[00:58:08] It's funny British people really were just stealing from American black people, huh? Yeah, yeah, that's that's the whole stone
[00:58:14] Because it's been about it. It's like America isn't doesn't have look really a cruel racial past so much as it was like sort of like a startup incubator for
[00:58:26] Wait, no, let's uh, let's put all the rice together and let them kill themselves until they come up with a new type of music
[00:58:34] Until the get a gay one of them comes up. This is good music. This is a type of music
[00:58:41] That song is about fucking people in the ass right to a fruity. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah
[00:58:48] Shit in commerce. Oh, wah, bop. I do Bob
[00:58:51] Little Richard rocks. Yeah, that guy fucking rules. You're wrong
[00:58:59] Rest in peace probably getting pussy and fucking ass and getting his ass fucked with like
[00:59:05] Fucking a chick while wearing a bra with awesome hair. Yeah, that guy
[00:59:20] Dude, yeah, we're a music podcast now. Yeah
[00:59:27] Welcome to top of the pops welcome to chopper to the job of the list. We got the top 10 here
[00:59:33] We've got the best charge. What's your week? Who is it? No, Casey case. Andy, Andy Rooney
[00:59:43] Now everybody wants to put it in your ass
[00:59:46] I don't want to get to my ass. That's where shit comes out
[00:59:50] Being gay used to be simple. That's why it meant happy. I was happy to suck a dick
[00:59:57] I don't want to have to stretch my ass out with a limousine
[01:00:02] Just to learn how to keep up with the times
[01:00:06] I don't want to have to pronounce emphysema wrong. I don't want to have to pronounce emphysema wrong
[01:00:12] It wasn't a bit nowadays comedians are trying to get away. You were just saying words
[01:00:19] And the ones who aren't reinventing themselves is public and
[01:00:22] I believe I'm at my day comedians used to suck
[01:00:41] You got a second slow you gotta shut the dick slow
[01:00:44] There's two balls. There's a young ball and an old ball and old ball. He's gay
[01:00:52] And the younger ball was straight and there's a bunch of cows down in the field
[01:00:57] And the younger ball says let's go down there. Let's run down there and fuck all those cows and the older ball holds him down in the race
[01:01:08] Um, no, that's uh, it's the you got the story. I got the story the way I wanted Mac
[01:01:15] Joe Biden. Yeah, listen here. Listen here dick dick cock
[01:01:21] I got I got a bunch of spiders shoved up my ass or you got they're making cobwebs
[01:01:29] Yo, by the way, shout out to hunter dude. He's doing art. He's copying you at him
[01:01:33] I know hunter Biden is doing an art exhibit. You got a gun
[01:01:38] We both want my son my son does what he needs to do or suck my cock
[01:01:42] I saw there's uh in the he's hitting you york. Can we go in the does he have a show? He's got a show somewhere
[01:01:47] Oh, I'm trying to go dude. I'm trying to go for sure
[01:01:50] That got to the ledge so much. Come to the ledge Biden. Yeah, he's doing cocaine and having sex with malayo obama
[01:01:57] That's what yeah. Yeah, there's a picture
[01:01:59] They say that's team. There's a picture they say is from the from the
[01:02:13] I like getting my pussy fought. I want to get fucked. I want to get fucked and uh
[01:02:18] Duke okay. I think she's like 21 not that I've been. Oh, tracking mr. Adam's been Googling me
[01:02:28] You can just google me to find out if I'm of age
[01:02:35] Wait hundred he took a chance. He didn't know
[01:02:45] Dude if hunter got pussy from the moly from the obama
[01:02:51] Okay, he just has to fuck him. He's like the guy from california cation
[01:02:56] Yeah, he just has to fuck everyone in his didn't david do comedy
[01:02:59] Just do that to get some pussy. Yeah, he went to this to sex rehab
[01:03:04] Somebody has huge tits on that show and if you somebody's daughter
[01:03:09] Is it susans randon's daughter is huge? I think it is because those puppies probably run the god damn family
[01:03:14] Yeah, they all sweat her puppies good lord them. Shits were delicious that when I saw them
[01:03:19] Uh, yeah, it was someone's kid, but she had a huge jumbo yum. I want to fuck scully so bad. Oh, yeah
[01:03:26] Yeah, she's so and she gets the g- she gets good pussy too. She's still hot actually. Oh, yeah, julie
[01:03:32] Yeah, she fucked megan fox. I saw a picture of them all about to have sex in real life
[01:03:37] Yeah, they were they were like leaving a club and they both loved to watch lesbian with each other scully
[01:03:42] That sounds awesome. That's tight. That's so cool. That is cool scully and I got hard. I'm no joke
[01:03:48] Thinking about that and candy man era of virginia madson and fuck each other while I hold a gun to my head
[01:03:57] We're gonna play again. They're like, okay. Well, we're just gonna leave if you're just gonna win a year on head
[01:04:19] Why do you want to see us fuck yeah, just do it just I didn't really think it through I didn't consider
[01:04:38] What are we gonna get for lunch like what song is that it's the band the weight?
[01:04:45] Yeah, but now I'm confused. No, it's not the weight. Yeah. Oh, I'm thinking there's a song that goes the weight or is it the work?
[01:04:53] Take a load off Sally is the work the work or some shit the weight
[01:05:01] What song is that of my shit? No, let's take a load off Annie. Take a load off Annie. Yeah, Annie
[01:05:10] The he says something over and over again. This is definitely a song where somebody says something over and over. It's Bruce Springsteen
[01:05:21] The I mean it's the word. Yeah, we'll figure that out for the next one. What do you guys want to get lunch?
[01:05:26] That's a great question, mate. I've been I've been
[01:05:32] I don't know. Are you guys on diets these days? I mean, I'm I'm but not I'm just not going crazy
[01:05:37] Yeah, we'll just have a response. I was going fucking wide. Oh, yeah, dude
[01:05:41] I was I was fucked up from like December 20th. I know I would get like a box of those rich frosted and emons donuts and eat the entire thing myself
[01:06:03] So what do we got movie reviews? We got a bunch of shit that come out recently. Yeah Wonder Woman 1984
[01:06:10] I didn't see it. Here's my review. It sucks. Look at shit. Didn't see it. Who cares?
[01:06:15] I didn't see it either. My father called me up to say that it was a piece of shit. Wow
[01:06:24] Let's say let's get some damn lunch. Yeah, I'm hungry now
[01:06:28] Bye, bye my calendars folks. You still got time. You have a couple left. We got getting in the year
[01:06:32] Yeah, we got good a stop-eat-top bees 11 and a half good months out of that calendar. No more than that
[01:06:38] It's the fucking what it is. It's the sixth right now stuff for
[01:06:46] The fourth and then yeah, we got shirts fully restocked. I love it come dot town. Love it
[01:06:55] Yeah, and then probably we'll do a rollout next month
[01:06:59] I'll maybe a couple new I don't know if we're gonna go more
[01:07:03] More hoodies or something because it'll be winter for a while
[01:07:07] That's so true. Maybe we'll come offer a couple more of those but everything's in you get that slurple brain hoodie
[01:07:12] Everyone was demanding it. They said bring that thing that you never said on the show
[01:07:17] That was a thingy text. I think that was from the text. It was something that I thought maybe was on the show. I don't know
[01:07:23] But that's really what you want is because not look nothing on come dot town is a podcast shirt
[01:07:29] You should never wear a podcast shirt. I saw a girl wearing a pod save america shirt the other day
[01:07:35] And I almost pushed her on to the train tracks. Well, I think a nice amount of the shirts on there are podcast shirts, aren't they? No, none of them
[01:07:43] Literally not a single one says the name of the podcast and it all works outside of the context of
[01:07:48] It's a black person asking you like I don't know it's just some restaurant. It's a really good restaurant
[01:07:54] It's just closed down here's your cover. Yeah, closed down
[01:07:58] Cause the owner died of coronavirus. Oh, yeah, my favorite restaurant closed down
[01:08:02] I just found out if it's a white person asking you table dicks and which is Sammy's Romanian steakhouse is now closed down
[01:08:08] I wanted to go with the boys. I wanted to go with the boys
[01:08:11] I said I do my birthday there last year. Fuck the virus shut it down
[01:08:16] I wanted to I was trying to do a show for like a
[01:08:21] Like a like a one of those car dealerships. It's like you know like bob poon honda
[01:08:27] That's good or Ken shits Ken shits Toyota
[01:08:31] Ken shits on day. Yeah, Dave. Dave asshole fuck
[01:08:45] That's a great idea. Well go to come down figure out the style come downtown for t's
[01:08:51] You can't play around a lot of respect. It takes a while man. Hey, you know, I noticed
[01:08:57] I've there's things I spent months on and then I get I get close to being done among them
[01:09:02] This is the mark. It's not good enough right in the trash
[01:09:06] I had when I when I was doing all those dudes rock summer shirts
[01:09:09] I spent a month doing Mount Rushmore with fucking
[01:09:18] Travel poster shirt with dorner Don Simpson
[01:09:24] I forget if we last one. Oh, Paul Newman. Oh, yeah, that's a good that's a good lineup
[01:09:31] Some cool that was though it was Mount Rushmore and I spent a very long time on it
[01:09:36] He threw it away threw it away because I couldn't get the likeness right on fucking Don Simpson
[01:09:40] All the rest of them was fine. You gotta try that again. You gotta swap out Don
[01:09:44] No, no, I couldn't do it. That's next Mount Rushmore. Yeah, those are your guys. Yeah, who are your guys, man?
[01:09:53] That's the best time. Stop with that biz for the calendars. We'll talk to you soon. Bye