Cum Town | Regular | 01/20/2021
[00:00:00] I'll find it by if that's what you want.
[00:00:13] Take a piss and shake off the extra piss in your mouth.
[00:00:18] Speaking of stuff that signed, they killed, they executed retarded people in Texas by
[00:00:35] Like they probably, because I don't think they do it anymore and they had to start doing
[00:00:39] it because like you can look at the records and it's so like, sad petchkiss.
[00:00:50] I want it to eat, I want to eat a bunch of paper.
[00:01:09] We're going to suck your dick and fuck you slow.
[00:01:13] Welcome to his ass is going to put you inside of it.
[00:01:19] And then you're going to fuck a man inside his ass.
[00:01:23] If you shrink someone, put him in a man's ass and then make him fuck another miniature
[00:01:42] See, we can't do this because I get hungry.
[00:01:46] Because this is in the background of all my favorite restaurants.
[00:01:53] They're favorite place of all time, honey pig.
[00:01:55] The goal is to turn this into a K-pop show and get all of the people that have been listening
[00:01:59] since the beginning to kill themselves.
[00:02:01] Dude, I'll fucking, I'll talk about John Kook or whatever the fuck his name is.
[00:02:24] Yeah, so in the K-pop world they do, they have a selfie day.
[00:02:29] And so depending on which fandom you're a part of, they are assigned different days.
[00:02:35] So if you're on Twitter, it's like every 17th of the month is a selfie day if you're
[00:02:44] There's the one BTS that everybody has on the horse.
[00:02:49] I just watched the documentary about...
[00:02:55] I watched the documentary about Blackpink, which is the biggest girl one.
[00:03:15] Adam Schrambling to check out all she is right now.
[00:03:24] Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bong, Birthday.
[00:03:28] No, they changed their names to like 2014.
[00:03:31] No, they changed their names to like American names like Lisa and stuff.
[00:03:46] Rose is from the one that's born in New Zealand.
[00:03:51] They canceled Selfie Day in December because it's disrespectful to Santa Claus.
[00:04:07] And her birthday is March 27th, which is a couple of...
[00:04:19] I'm gonna fly my Navy jet right into that danger zone.
[00:04:34] You think like, oh, yeah, fucking like a 23-year-old is in a big deal.
[00:04:37] And then they're like, I was born in the year 2000.
[00:04:43] I remember being a baby when Subway Jared was arrested and you're like, okay, well,
[00:04:52] Those are the human events that matter to you most.
[00:04:57] Dude, this girl, honestly, I get her vibe might be great, but she's definitely...
[00:05:04] I fell in love with her when I watched her talk about it better.
[00:05:11] It's so funny to me because literally I will never be able to tell the difference between
[00:05:29] And then tell me if that's a different person than the woman you're just looking at.
[00:05:39] What do you mean they have a different nose?
[00:05:47] Honestly, I would rather fuck Da'yun than Lisa.
[00:05:50] They'll reveal that I'm actually an android and I can't.
[00:05:58] I mean, she's got a little something going on that I appreciate.
[00:06:01] All right, well, all I'm saying is I watched the other woman.
[00:06:13] We should have her on the Korean barbecue.
[00:06:14] We should have a late night show where we just bring on K-pop.
[00:06:44] Dude, honestly, this is a K-pop show now.
[00:06:54] I have only had positive experiences listening to K-pop.
[00:06:57] It's always in the background where I'm stuffing my face with Gobi and some fucking spicy
[00:07:09] There's a red bean paste that's very good.
[00:07:13] I don't know what it's actually called, but I love that shit.
[00:07:16] You don't like K-pop or it puts you in a good mood.
[00:07:20] It's not like you're going to sit around and it's not going to be like, you know, listening
[00:07:34] I'm not joking when I say I'm hungry right now.
[00:07:38] I am Pavlov's motherfucking big dick ass dog right now.
[00:07:45] What if that was the experiment of seeing if you get the dog's dick to come out?
[00:07:49] Yeah, he rang a bell when he sucked all the dogs dick.
[00:07:56] He would tongue the ballsack of the dogs to get their penis to come out.
[00:08:07] Well, he sucks the dog's dick while K-pop is...
[00:08:27] I thought you were taking it a decidedly different way.
[00:08:39] It's so funny that people get call you racist for saying that like Korean people eat dogs.
[00:08:48] What's racist is saying that there's something wrong with eating dogs.
[00:08:52] If you just acknowledge that they eat dogs.
[00:08:56] People are like, wow, dare you say that.
[00:08:58] It's like what the fuck is wrong with eating dogs?
[00:09:04] Pigs are also pretty cool and they're fucking delicious.
[00:09:08] Most people didn't eat pigs until the, I guess they met the Germans and the Germans were
[00:09:22] We are the Koreans of the Black Forest.
[00:09:28] Just barbarians in 200 AD driving around BMWs.
[00:09:56] Alright, so I've been working on the four-year-old Kong music shows.
[00:10:03] Yeah, I've been working on them were the splendance I've seen.
[00:10:10] And we've been working on them a bit sooner than it.
[00:10:12] So had I been working on them been using a differenté philosophy for like one place
[00:10:18] They have bad lives that aren't they like under the control of the big machine?
[00:10:23] No, they go to they go to idle school from the time they're like 13
[00:10:27] They drop out of regular school and then they train them to be you know
[00:10:31] There's some kind of fucked up Dan Schneider situation going on over there. I don't know if there's any been any
[00:10:37] Touching that's come out. I don't think they snitch in Korea
[00:10:41] I think it hasn't come out, but it's tight. They do you
[00:10:43] Hold it down a Korean Dan Schneider. Yeah, the only Jewish Korean man is a big bad
[00:10:58] Yeah, it almost is fucked up the Dan Schneider Korean
[00:11:04] Oh good on the good audience. It's probably uh, it's probably side. It's probably the size
[00:11:12] American side on the top of the pyramid make a TV show
[00:11:18] Saying Nickelodeon everyone just for the record
[00:11:30] And the nickel rodeon Korea studio is sending I guess that makes sense a
[00:11:36] Urielistically rate all the all the idols. Yeah. Yeah, I guess that historically
[00:12:22] Damn they have to go to idle school. Yeah, I don't think they put up like different configurations
[00:12:28] They like mix them up. They have to do good with this girl
[00:12:30] And then they have to they showed like old videos and then like doing covers
[00:12:34] So they like and they sing their asses off for these like four
[00:12:37] I think this state the part on like a dais like American Idol style and they're just like singing Mary J
[00:12:43] Blige as hard as they can these guys just look completely
[00:12:46] Walk out of the room should spend like probably 80 million dollars a year
[00:12:51] Sending 127 year old high functioning autistic man to participate in the k-pop school
[00:12:57] And I don't yeah, and then we get we would also get a reality show
[00:13:01] There's got to be one guy who loves it. Well, you have to find a boy
[00:13:05] Thing it is start them off. You like imagine Christian at idols
[00:13:10] And he's like we're getting ready to dance
[00:13:12] Well, I thought he would just happen to be good cuz Christian wouldn't be good at it. I know that's the point
[00:13:17] No, no, I want somebody who's so autistic and locked in it just happens to be k-pop is their thing
[00:13:22] But they look like Christian. No, we get her like a Susan Boyle situation
[00:13:26] What the Koreans get is they get to laugh
[00:13:28] It's true what we get is we get to laugh at our own retard doing something that we already considered to be retarded and
[00:13:36] And then is our is this what is it dancing and singing? I don't know whatever
[00:13:50] Like when I see a high functioning autistic guy that like found his niche in the real world
[00:13:56] I mean some would argue that this podcast is one example of that, but they're
[00:14:07] I've been I have not a big football guy obviously
[00:14:10] But you know when the playoffs roll around and like you know the Ravens you know devastating loss, but
[00:14:15] Congratulations to Bill's mafia anyway, I listened to a couple podcasts to kind of catch myself up
[00:14:20] Football there's this guy Warren Sharp who is the most autistic I've ever heard in my life
[00:14:26] Who is he but he just is locked into football?
[00:14:29] So he takes that statistical shit and it's not bullshit like trains or whatever. He knows everything about football
[00:14:34] I thought you meant Warren's sap. That's the mistake I've made as well the first time I heard his name
[00:14:38] Yeah, that guy's entertainment. Yeah, that's great Warren Sharp rules combining Warren's sap and Shannon sharp
[00:14:45] And you're in that I would love to see that fusion dance dude just a giant fat guy skip
[00:14:53] Try to think other shows I used to love war and shnider made
[00:14:59] We there could also be a little call that Lou Pearlman
[00:15:03] Yeah, Lou Pearlman would probably make even more sense he makes a lot more sense
[00:15:08] Yeah, the other Dan Schneider shows up all that wasn't he like on all that or something?
[00:15:18] Think of anything for all that be Korean didn't what's her face
[00:15:22] That went real crazy Amanda Bynes have a show a great great wall that yes, but that's Chinese
[00:15:33] Didn't you have one Amanda explains it all is that Clarissa no yeah, but yeah, I think it was just called Amanda
[00:15:41] Yeah, she went really should be in jail. He fucked up
[00:15:44] I think all of them went crazy my my this was years ago, but I think he fucked Drake and John
[00:15:49] I think Lori Beth Demberg followed my female friend on Instagram was like trying to fuck dog dog dog
[00:16:00] I see a little for net after you eat you eat the dog with a garnish dog with a little sprig of fucking cilantro on top
[00:16:08] Do you think you think you fucked everyone you didn't you think you fucked Kelle is that why he's crazy?
[00:16:15] Maybe he didn't fuck the fat ones Keenan is doing good Keenan's doing great, but Lori Beth. I don't know it's a dog burger
[00:16:22] Dog burger there we go. That's a clapping. How did that take so long?
[00:16:39] Can I make a dog to eat? Was Dave Schneider in good burger? He was in the kitchen right he was like what was he like
[00:16:53] I thought he probably has a cameo in this man. He was giving himself cameos and fucking oh yeah
[00:16:58] He's the man was a performer like he's a performer first. He's a lover of kid second good Christ. Maybe I'm wrong
[00:17:05] Yeah, I'm gonna look him up on his own show. He played Dennis London on head to head of the class
[00:17:12] What's head of the class and sit calm that's where his career started when he was an actor he was an actor. Yeah originally damn
[00:17:20] Yeah, he was in good burger. Yeah. Yeah, I had no idea
[00:17:24] He was an actor in seven films now a lot of people probably gonna get mad at me for the dog burger
[00:17:28] But obviously there's a different direction to go with good burger by just changing. Yeah, okay in good. That's true. Okay. I ignored that one
[00:17:38] But I'm tempted to do it. No, you really explained it I think you really don't have
[00:17:48] Korean day because as long as we're peaching out
[00:17:51] No, I think it's good. You really knocked out of the park take the rest of the day I think dog was funny
[00:17:58] I think dog burger was a lot really good made a lot more sense you could even say in the in the
[00:18:05] You know logic of the world well he wrote the Frankie Muniz Amanda bonds Phil
[00:18:12] With what also went great. Do you think they fuck Muniz? Oh?
[00:18:15] He definitely no one was safe, but wait he didn't have anything to do with
[00:18:22] Paul G. Mardi was really the name Malcolm in the middle came from yeah, it was a human center
[00:18:29] He never even Malcolm in the middle. You think he fucked Dewey. What's Dewey up to oh that kid?
[00:18:34] I think was either he was or he wasn't I forget what the story
[00:18:48] Either he was severely molested or he's the one that escaped the dragons on
[00:18:54] Interesting the Reese Reese was Reese too old to get fucked turn that bright-ass light off
[00:18:59] Please turn it up. Is that better? Well just so that it's kind of dark in here. Yeah, but yeah, it was blasting
[00:19:04] I know it was going right in your eyes. I was like I was about to give you
[00:19:22] He did Drake and Josh though. Mm-hmm. So that's why Josh Peck is so annoying
[00:19:27] But did he fuck the fat one? Oh, he didn't fuck the foul. I don't think he did so what's Drake
[00:19:32] Bell Drake Bell seems to be doing fine. I
[00:19:36] Don't know was he a gay pedophile was he a bi-petify? No, I think you just did girls maybe
[00:19:42] But then who fucked Kell because somebody must have fucked Kell because he went off the deep end
[00:19:47] The Kell got gagged one too many times. Yeah, they filled his ass with
[00:19:50] Well to make wait for all that every episode they had they fill his ass
[00:19:59] It's a true story brought to you by Macwell
[00:20:17] Mac welded if you want to fill Kell's ass with
[00:20:21] Have underwitted make sure you got a bunch of
[00:20:24] I didn't say it that time you guys don't know I wasn't suck like the noise that of a blowjob. I was saying it like yeah, I thought you were saying
[00:20:42] No, we weren't saying that nothing to do with
[00:20:53] Where the contestants are covered with goo, okay
[00:21:10] They have silver ions in the underpants
[00:21:30] Get your money back. You don't have to send it back. Let me say this for years
[00:21:35] We've been reading this ad and I have been lying to you because I did I said the end of where's good
[00:21:41] I've never put it on my nuts. Yeah, recently you draped your nuts recently
[00:21:48] Mm-hmm, and I went fucking buck wild at Mac welding and I gotta say my balls are singing
[00:21:57] Micro-modal fabrics I gotta be out to the laundromat is lost almost all of my clothes
[00:22:02] Oh my laundry matters it is it is a random chance that we did not have Mac welding as a sponsor
[00:22:10] I'd probably there would be shit all over my
[00:22:13] They lost all my toilet paper. Oh, yeah that was drop off use toilet paper. Yeah, you sure they want Nick is such a cheap
[00:22:21] Yeah, well, I remember I tried to do a joke when I was probably 20 about like it what how at what point are
[00:22:29] Is the laundry more come than close? Yeah, okay, cuz you're allowed to drop off shit
[00:22:34] You just not all over didn't we see that we saw that as a defense in law and order or you didn't watch that episode with me
[00:22:40] Bro, don't fucking spoil. Okay. Well, they just brought in if you brought in a bucket of come with a t-shirt floating
[00:22:48] You're like can you clean my t-shirt? I came on it
[00:22:51] There'd be like no problem baby girl. There's there was a kid. I don't think they've it's a bucket
[00:22:57] Every team going be alright. We can't be a bunch of team going be our even gotta be 51%
[00:23:03] Fabric we do all that we do all the Korean Dan Schneider's laundry. It's filled with gook
[00:23:10] Okay, well there was a lot. I'm not he called it that okay the character
[00:23:14] It's filled with gug which is is a way to say something, you know
[00:23:21] How Korean don't snide the here for Mac welding no no no
[00:23:32] Trying to talk about her hair for Mac welding Korean Dan. I'm sorry
[00:23:37] Don't bother us to me about just to Mac welding in our many Korean American listeners
[00:23:41] Wait, so a kid had his dad's come and his own blood in his underpants and they tried to arrest him for raping his son
[00:23:56] And they got a scientist to come in in this episode a lot in order to say
[00:24:01] To say that your come could just transfer over in the wash
[00:24:04] And then the dad got off and then at the end of the first episode in a very special two-parter
[00:24:09] So you're saying shot up his school come could transfer from socks shirts hoodies underwear polos and active shorts exactly
[00:24:18] Well, yeah, I have it on the wash and you come in some socks
[00:24:24] Sort the assortment of apartment store brands that make up the top drawer of all Mac welding Zasex have a business
[00:24:31] Consistent bit and you can bound on so fucking a lot of people think designer is why is why is whack melding so awesome?
[00:24:41] Because from socks hoodies underwear polos an active shorts max max shell max Sheldon
[00:24:57] And it will be awesome if this was the bit conscious started at this moment
[00:25:02] We're watching him lose the functionality of reading
[00:25:09] Verbability you're not gonna look great in Mac welding their underwear socks and shirts
[00:25:14] From working out going out or going out on a date
[00:25:17] Mm-hmm. Mac welding is a wide range of customized fabrics that you can't keep no matter what your day looks like
[00:25:30] Mormant and that's called that's the fabric technology promise. Yes. It is Mac
[00:25:35] Yes, it is. Well then blue is totally free loyalty program level one gets gets free shipping for you for your entire life
[00:25:43] I'll say I'm a die. I'm a I'm a fucking Mac welding blue balls member
[00:25:49] Yeah, my nuts are fucking once you reach level two by spending $200 Mac welding gives you 20% off every order for the next year
[00:25:57] So the guarantee is Mac welding wants you to be comfortable
[00:26:00] So if you don't like your first pair underwear, you can keep them and they'll still refund you no questions
[00:26:05] They are good underwear. I wear I like probably my favorite underwear for to wear for days on end. Yes
[00:26:11] All of my all of my like Adidas because that before we had them as a sponsor that was like that was probably that you would go
[00:26:17] Adidas well, it would be like where I topped out. I'd buy you like athletic
[00:26:21] Boxer briefs before I we had my gold nose up. I honestly had a pair of poo or a pack of pumas
[00:26:27] Yeah, that I really enjoyed but all my all my Adidas shit just fucking is completely bullshit everything I've had before my
[00:26:33] Well, there's bullshit and now before now not only that I
[00:26:37] Have become you know more of an active man in this in the last since September I've tried to
[00:26:44] Walk I in December. I was the 20,000 step bastard or some of you might know and it's getting cold out there
[00:26:51] Mac welding has these beautiful compression tights assertive steps. I was the bastard of steps and
[00:26:57] I had I would take I would take nine mile walks and I'm I'm
[00:27:01] I'm wearing these fucking Mac welding tights. Do you think the Apple watch like if you put it on a handicap person?
[00:27:07] It's like you don't again. You're not getting enough steps today there
[00:27:11] Now come on my there's got to be a wheelchair you can you turn it like yeah, you got to have a wheelchair
[00:27:21] What do you think you're back? No, it was Iraq you'd be walking. Yeah, you're not and remember back when you had your legs
[00:27:34] dismayed about your wife cheating on you that you
[00:27:37] Didn't check that fucking can by the road and it turned out to be an IED there are a lot of great things that you'd like to leave
[00:27:44] Behind in 2020 one of the most important being your old underwear drawer if you're rolling in in a year in the same bunching
[00:27:49] Shaving an uncomfortable underwear. You're a fucking idiot
[00:27:53] You're a fucking moron. You're a fucking it's a new it's a fucking little cock in some inferior fabrics
[00:28:00] Calm and use promo code come town 20. That's right welcome calm slash come town 20 promo code come town
[00:28:08] 20 for 20% off Mac weld in your first order and then if you spend enough money then you get that 20% off for the rest of the year
[00:28:15] Mm-hmm. Can you believe that that's fucking beautiful. That's just free underwear. Mm-hmm. What are you some sort of rich genius?
[00:28:23] That doesn't need free underwear. No, no
[00:28:27] I am a rich genius, but I just see today on Twitter like a bunch of people were freaking out cuz they're like a bomb went off
[00:28:33] And they had to evacuate the west capital steps. Yeah, then a bunch of people were like these trumpers
[00:28:38] They're at it again. It's a civil war and then they're like false alarm everyone
[00:28:43] It was a bunch of homeless people burning to death
[00:28:47] Yeah, it was some homeless guys like living outside camp to caught on fire. I think the homeless guys fine. Okay, it's very funny
[00:28:54] I call false alarm. It's just Biden's fine. It's just another complete institutional failure
[00:29:02] It's just some veterans that we sent out to war that came back
[00:29:06] We're trying to support setting himself on fire by trying to make his own underwear
[00:29:19] We give a homeless guy a couple condoms we get
[00:29:26] We give him a handful of fucking lifestyles condoms for every pair of Mac well
[00:29:30] Yeah, we and I know you think life sells this crap, but in Europe it's
[00:29:35] It's a number one and can I just say lifestyles is pretty good stuff or maybe it's directs do you do
[00:29:49] Whatever the fuck it. Yeah, exactly the one developed by a map
[00:29:54] Yep, that's why they killed Steve Jobs, dude
[00:29:57] He was coming up with the thinnest condoms all time the government didn't want to sound that technology
[00:30:07] They didn't want us having condoms felt they don't want you to feel that good
[00:30:10] Because they need because the thing is the juice need you to get pregnant to have abortions and they steal your baby
[00:30:15] You said the juice what was the juice? Yeah, the juice
[00:30:19] Oj Simpson Oj Simpson needs you. Oh, I did watch a hilarious move
[00:30:24] movie Facebook video from a hotep friend of mine from high school that claimed that a
[00:30:31] Lot of McDonald's hamburgers was black babies put up for adoption that Jews
[00:30:40] Part of an aborted fetus in a subway sandwich once I heard about that. Yeah, how does that even happen?
[00:30:47] Are you serious? Yeah, I was joking. No, I was just ending the bit that really happened. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I
[00:30:58] Real wacky mistake at oh, yeah, that's a fucked up
[00:31:03] Someone at the hand factories pussy is absolutely falling out
[00:31:07] Slapstick goof. Maybe the woman didn't know she was pregnant
[00:31:12] Her pussy hurt and she's like I need some cold. This is when I was like a teenager
[00:31:17] I remember this story and she rubbed some ham on her pussy and part of the she's miscaring a little bit of the baby
[00:31:23] Gets on the ham. She's like oh, it's an eye love Lucy situation at the crank gets turned up
[00:31:29] She's like I don't have time to get this piece of my pussy slash dead baby out of here
[00:31:33] So I'm just moving along right it's a possibility. That's true. It is anyone else have a fucking viable
[00:31:42] Answer question. Yeah, I'm what you call viable
[00:31:49] Because I keep knocking up technically I got swimmers the women at the shelter
[00:32:01] Evolutionarily the more you come in a woman the better
[00:32:05] Mm-hmm. Although I will say back to the condom discussion because of my fucked up penis
[00:32:11] It is easier for me to bust in a condom a lot of the time then busting only bust inside because my foreskin gets all
[00:32:19] Mangled women must feel so safe. They do. Yeah, I still
[00:32:27] I still insist on not wearing a condom of course, but the times I'm forced you're not a bitch
[00:32:40] What I'm gonna get push my dick's not gonna feel the actual pussy it's gonna put on a little fucking
[00:32:47] G-move is to pull out a magnum and then be like we don't even need
[00:32:51] Well, I'm not even good. I'm not even good. It's she opens it. There's nothing
[00:33:05] I've yeah, I'd be found and I found it on the ground
[00:33:11] But yes, you're right women do feel safe because of the combination of the warmth of my body
[00:33:16] combination the combinessio. You say I have my warm body and that pussy inside my dick
[00:33:23] Trying to know it's MLK day. Oh, yeah, which kind of a quiet MLK day after liberal spent the entire week
[00:33:31] Sucking the FBI's dick. Yeah. Yeah, she'll loot the MLK fuck the FBI. That's our stance
[00:33:41] I am this the CIA don't think you're off and the CIA we got that's right. You're on our shit list too
[00:33:52] Alan dol Dick with his fucking boring ass cock. Mm-hmm. You know that man didn't get good cock
[00:33:58] Didn't give good fucking mmm. That's why you had to kill the man with the best dick in America MLK
[00:34:03] Okay, a side pussy legend MLK never find out what Marlotte or Kings stood for
[00:34:18] Were you guys just didn't blow your mind Marlotte King would call himself MLK
[00:34:23] There was never explained what that's yeah, which is like you can't give yourself a nickname
[00:34:28] Did it did it blow your mind. I'll let other people give you a nickname can't be like hey, I'm going by
[00:34:34] Mm-hmm. I'm going by Cheetah. Yeah Martin Luther my new guy did go by Martin Luther
[00:34:42] Quote unquote MLK King. It was Martin Luther quote MLK. I didn't know
[00:35:00] Fuck was I just about oh did it fuck you guys up when you heard about Martin Luther the fucking prize?
[00:35:06] Yeah, I thought that he was copy. I literally thought that yeah, it's copy and
[00:35:11] Then you hear he's like 500 years before I don't care. I still copy it's like well whatever fuck that German
[00:35:17] No, but that's how I felt when I first saw the Martin Lawrence gallery in the West Village
[00:35:22] Wait, there's the gallery calls in our gallery called them. Oh
[00:35:29] That'd better be pick you got a chicken a name that'd be fucking I want to see fucking bad boys stills
[00:35:36] I want to see Tommy in a in a boo. I want to see yes
[00:35:39] I want to go I want to attend a Brahman autograph signing. I want to see a black knight retrospective. Yeah
[00:35:51] God we should watch blue streak today. I would watch blue streak. We should be such a good movie
[00:35:55] I'm excited to get lunch. Yes, I'm not I would like a nice lunch today
[00:35:59] I'm already ready for all I've had is a little smidgen of oatmeal to power me from my
[00:36:04] Electric assistant there should be a restaurant in Texas where you have to fire guns into the ceiling
[00:36:10] Well, you need to cook the food. No, so many Sam's use the heat from the bullet. Yeah, so yes
[00:36:36] I'm sorry, you suck it. He but you got the HIV virus in your anus. Oh
[00:36:42] One tarnation he's sitting on a geyser and it's just
[00:37:01] Right shots at the gay guys doing animus man, that seems fucking annoying yeah
[00:37:05] Colonics just constantly putting water up their ass and fucking squirting it out. Yeah salute the loving fucking that much
[00:37:12] You know what I mean? I mean I like the fuck who sees had fucking shit in them
[00:37:17] I'm sure girls will be doing a lot too. That's what I'm saying
[00:37:19] I don't have to go through that to fuck and I salute first of all I salute everyone likes to fuck for the care and love and
[00:37:26] All they do to get their actress named Brianna genitalia that is no
[00:37:30] That's a real woman. I'm sure I'm marrying her. My name. I'm taking her name. That's my fucking goal in life, bro
[00:37:45] Vagina genitalia. Did she live in New York, LA? Let's see. I got a finder. That's also another name
[00:37:51] I'm just I'm making you read as bad as I did
[00:37:57] I don't know I don't know who this woman is I was doing a bobby's world
[00:38:01] He was gonna make a Bobby's world reference
[00:38:04] Go back to the Bobby's world. Well Brianna gentil out well Jenna Taylor smash 100 100 percent
[00:38:13] Shut up. She was up Brianna this kid a man per per cell fucking loser
[00:38:18] If we fuck a man per cell name good job being born in 1999
[00:38:27] Game and suck a suck dick. Shelly. Mm-hmm. That's actually Adam's name. I just remembered
[00:38:35] If you say silent then you agree with me. Oh, I just got a New York Times update. Oh, that's it sounds awesome
[00:38:42] Hmm. That sounds good. Your ex boyfriend get married. I can try to do a joke and I can try to do a joke about it
[00:38:48] So then says a video appeared to show COVID patients in Egypt dying when a hospital ran out of oxygen
[00:38:57] Officials denied that's what they that's why they died. We found out otherwise. Yeah, they ran out of oxygen. Why do they just?
[00:39:03] Breathe the air. That's a fucking really good one
[00:39:21] For the people at home you're missing some of Adam's trademark hand movements and I emotions that are really selling this bit
[00:39:38] That was gonna be crazy because they got to turn them all into mummies. Yeah, that must do that was that's why they're back
[00:39:44] They only have seven gonna spend six days draining all the fluids
[00:39:54] Coronavirus ravages Egypt we're almost out of pyramids
[00:40:03] Head doctor head head witch doctor head is a jackal
[00:40:08] I don't want to I don't want to piss off. We're making field pyramids and any of our fans in Egypt, but
[00:40:15] They never really got got it back. You know, they were really killing it. Yeah fucking 10,000 10,000 years ago
[00:40:22] And they've just been so long ago. They've been it's crazy. How long ago that is yeah
[00:40:27] It was very long ago. They were they were the best they were the top dog like ancient Greece was what?
[00:40:34] And they were seven like what the how do we know how do we know shit about Egypt? That's fucked up that we know anything
[00:40:40] They kept it going at a stone. They found that shit dude. They kept it going for a while
[00:40:44] How much shit do we not even fucking know about that's what fucks me up, dude?
[00:40:48] I don't I was going on 6,000 years China China was probably ripping it the forever
[00:40:53] Yeah, that's what they say 70,000 years
[00:40:59] Yeah, we don't write anything down. I appreciate it. We did not have history until
[00:41:16] Well back at the olden times it was all was all China
[00:41:20] That's true. That's why they all look the same in their languages. They're just slight variations right right right right
[00:41:26] It's a form of scribbling. Yep. It's crazy. Is that true? Arabic is such a funny looking language. It looks awesome
[00:41:36] The swirlies and swoops it looks fucking cool. Yeah. I
[00:41:40] Think it's cool in the future use the English Arabic font for 56 nights. Yeah very cool album cover
[00:41:48] Shouts out to DJ fucking escrow the coolest DJ the motherfucking planet
[00:41:56] What was he was locked up like what was going on in Dubai or something?
[00:42:00] Was allowed to leave Dubai so he made those beats and in Dubai jail. I believe so. How do you get a computer in there?
[00:42:08] Pretty cool Dubai jails are like ski lifts. Yeah, they put you in the damn
[00:42:13] Do buy sailboat in my seat pretty tight, but I wouldn't want to get there. I want to teleport there
[00:42:19] It's like nice buildings in the middle of nowhere
[00:42:23] You ever see their guy again the Egyptians
[00:42:26] The movie the scorpion. Oh, they're like oh, yeah. Yeah, he's a jackal. Yeah. Yeah. He's cool. Yeah, it's cool
[00:42:33] He's like a dog. It's much cool shit. We don't fucking know. I'm just saying Egypt neat like
[00:42:38] That they took one L and they never came back. You know, it was the one L the Alexandria library fire probably
[00:42:48] After dude. Yeah, but they still had culture and knowledge. It's named Alexandria bitch
[00:42:53] What it's named Alexandria's not named fucking King Tuddestan or whatever the fuck
[00:43:02] Up until probably 2000 years ago, and they just they've they suck now. No, they just
[00:43:08] Nah, dude. Shout out to Abu kirshifu. They should it dried up
[00:43:12] My favorite it dried up. Yeah, you have to turn into a desert denial Delta
[00:43:19] And then a couple of neighborhood got a little shitty
[00:43:33] I think we're all equally saying offensive things. I'm not saying anything you want to place a bet on what happened
[00:43:39] Yep, you could do that. It's suck my bookie dot
[00:43:52] Sucking off a bookies are really funny idea just you'd tell them suck my bookie. Just suck it suck my bookie
[00:43:59] Yes, kiss my bookie kiss it. Shout out to Howard G. Yeah
[00:44:04] Yeah, go to my bookie dot com and we got the fucking
[00:44:12] Cookin the season keeps rolling on the Knicks have cooled off a little bit, but we're still we're still charging ahead
[00:44:20] Adams Los Angeles Lakers are looking good even though they appear to be sleepwalking through the season the continuity is really helping them
[00:44:28] Ignoring you but you're talking about basketball. Yeah and football too
[00:44:32] Yeah, because they just they said you got to talk about more basketball and also you should go
[00:44:36] Oh, well stop stop your fucking worthless money at on the this Connor McGregor fight
[00:44:42] Oh big con I saw you just got a one million dollar watch that looks pretty ugly
[00:44:47] Yeah, the Rochester stupid stupid walk, you know how a lot of people think he made the money
[00:44:52] Bach or fighting he actually made it by
[00:44:55] Bedding on my bookie. Yeah, he bet on himself to lose
[00:44:59] He threw a couple fights. He threw a couple fights. Yeah, he's gotten away with it
[00:45:03] But here's the thing it's guaranteed money. Yeah, and my penis that FAG
[00:45:30] Yeah, man, there's a lot of good shit to fucking bet on the people have been asking me for betting tips
[00:45:39] I always get asked who you got Lakers or Clippers. Yeah, like and I'll tell you Lake show
[00:45:45] I'll tell you what I tell them where you bet is just as important as you so fucking true
[00:45:50] That's one of the most if you talk to any fucking gambler. They'll tell you that
[00:45:53] That's why I tell people that with my bookie my bookies wrap is rock solid
[00:45:57] And they've got the best odds contest and promotions in the business to the only place I trust to handle my NBA related bets
[00:46:03] And I love betting brother and the one sports book guaranteed to give me the best lines for the national championship
[00:46:13] What is this the 18th? Yeah, yeah, Martin Luther King day 18
[00:46:18] Big basketball day. You will not hear this episode comes out
[00:46:22] But we have a couple of the really nice games for years Lakers
[00:46:25] The Bucks play somebody good. I had that one circled
[00:46:31] I don't remember I have to top my head the Nets the Bucks play the new look Nets. That's gonna be James Harden may
[00:46:38] Stay be with the Nets being a good boy. It's the best sports book out there period period
[00:46:57] You do that's fine if you want to do it that way break it up with other words
[00:47:12] The promo code come town or come town 20
[00:47:17] Try either one try either one come to either come town or come town 20 or possibly come town 21
[00:47:23] But it's yes, but probably most likely come town 20 and get your deposit matched halfway up to a thousand bucks
[00:47:31] Not bad that's free money and tell them kiss my buck cheeks
[00:47:36] We're gonna give you a spin we're gonna give you a special tonight's late games
[00:47:43] Spurs expect excitement to the sports you love in the game take the Warriors
[00:47:48] Kings play the Clippers upset alert Stavi's upset special Kings
[00:47:55] Take the Kings the Kings of the Martin Luther Kings take the Martin Luther Kings
[00:47:59] He was one of the first on that tour which tour the original Kings. Oh, okay. Who are the other ones?
[00:48:09] Frederick Douglas knock them acts Baird Rustin
[00:48:14] Stokely Carmichael the coolest one cool name. Yeah
[00:48:18] His son Gerard of course. How about Joker Lee Carmichael?
[00:48:25] You should have their own country arm yourselves you should all have done
[00:48:43] Okay, enough Marvin Nick Nick did Nick got a smart man gay
[00:48:50] Yeah, a lot of the joke prompts for Adam or let's see if he falls into the trap of just naming
[00:48:59] Man, I'm so excited for lunch. Yeah, what are we gonna do boys? Did you give them the code?
[00:49:09] And it sounds like you can stop over to Tony Luke's for a couple of cheese
[00:49:19] Like all right, Adam, they got one downtown Brooklyn. Oh, do they yeah, nice do that?
[00:49:24] Yeah, they got a Tony Luke there. I don't know if she's taken a minute
[00:49:28] And you guess what you're missing cheese steak. Oh, cuz you have to go look at a place with three women's bathrooms
[00:49:33] I told your apartment. I just want women to feel comfortable. I need a walk-in closet for all of my dresses
[00:49:42] Vanity it's my shoes and with a big vanity so I can look like a star
[00:49:47] Well, you know, I need a built-in long cigarette holder into the walls. Yeah, I miss green rooms
[00:49:55] I'm just like you don't want to go overboard with a green room at a comedy club too much one of my bet Davis
[00:50:01] I know what the hell is I've got a people by I guess it's for girl comics
[00:50:05] If it was back when comedy is meant only they had a dick-sucking machine
[00:50:17] There's some great green rooms a couple of lazy the carolines room is a good green room. I always have a good time
[00:50:22] It's a very common green. It's yeah, it's nice. It's normal and in the stand one is just had one
[00:50:29] And it was nice. There's a TV. Yeah, but it's weird because Caroline's and Gotham feel like road clubs
[00:50:37] Absolutely, there's honestly no reason for there'd be a green room at the stand the seller. I disagree, man
[00:50:43] I like it especially especially because there's two stages. It's like, you know
[00:50:47] Yeah, the seller at least they have the the little back table that nobody, you know, you're fucking isolated
[00:50:53] But I don't know yeah, I don't want to fucking and then at the standards. I give to go up and down
[00:50:57] I mean I would host a lot. Yeah, I wanted the green room to just eat pizza and watch basketball
[00:51:01] They should we know what they should do is bring the hoses from the soda machine into the green room and you can suck right
[00:51:06] They're hooked up to the sprinklers and everyone gets their own little everyone gets their own little fucking like nut
[00:51:11] Like you know when they would the nurse would take your temperature
[00:51:14] There'd be a plastic covering everyone gets their own little hose. Yeah, so you could put it on suck directly off
[00:51:20] That'll be fucking awesome you come in you get your comp toes
[00:51:23] Yeah, you get 45 seconds of hose sucking
[00:51:29] You gotta make it make it count. That's how comedy used to be back in back when it was just the fellas before all the holes as long as I could
[00:51:36] Remember I always wanted to suck a hose. I always suck a hose full of I always wanted to be a guy that sucked on a hose
[00:51:43] I'm getting the phone call from Baton Rouge here. Oh, oh
[00:51:52] How y'all doing there boy? What's going on that boy? Oh, I can't hear anything
[00:52:00] We got a number fair here. You would this is the number for the gayest man alive. Maybe it's a little boozy
[00:52:06] It's probably a little boozy. Yeah, he heard he heard your thing about cutting your dick off
[00:52:10] Man, don't say that about Korean dance night. Don't say dog burger man. Don't say dog
[00:52:20] That's disrespectful man, come on man. I like that a reasonable boozy. Yeah, I love boozy. Oh
[00:52:31] Don't ever since I can remember I always wanted to be a little boozy
[00:52:35] I always wanted to be transphobic. I always wanted to be a transphobic guy
[00:52:43] We had guys so transphobic they started using diapers just so they didn't have to have any awkward experiences in the bathroom
[00:52:51] He would he would slice his penis off real thin so would melt in the sauce. Yeah, I got so paranoid
[00:53:00] I used to make her suck my dick at breakfast every day to prove that she wasn't
[00:53:09] Yeah, I just why I was just watching casino. Mmm great flick
[00:53:14] The beginning the credits are so good dude the car. Yeah
[00:53:18] Oh, I've been noticing a lot of dipshit have been arguing about Scorsese recently
[00:53:39] I brought that guy from Baton Rouge on the line
[00:53:43] What if it was what if it was Sean's family
[00:53:49] Or that's from New Orleans boy, you gotta get stop doing that fag comedy and move back down
[00:54:03] Sorry, this isn't Sean Patton. This is another New York phone number that just happens to be a
[00:54:11] Oh mama staker. We sorry. I'm drunk off gumbo. I'm drunk over. I'm drunk off combo combo
[00:54:21] Yeah, I'm done down here in Ben Rouge a kid gay new only gay
[00:54:39] They cut off a pig they call it the Pavlov's hard
[00:54:51] Suck off his vehicle. Oh, what would do down here is try and say the the world you're just stupidest place
[00:54:57] Stupid you're doing trying to sound as doom as we can why do they say like it sounds like because you're gay
[00:55:12] Your game the answer to whatever question you were about that
[00:55:16] It's because you're gay, you know they say wait no and it sounds like I already said the answer and which done and let's move on
[00:55:25] You got them choose. I don't you're gonna say it's cuz I'm gay
[00:55:29] Just choose the topic. We got what choose four more minutes till lunch more than a half
[00:55:41] I'm looking at Conor McGregor's watch now stupid
[00:55:47] It's like this looks like the worst gift at the air in space music. Yeah, it looks like you got it from fucking
[00:55:54] Sky maul. Yeah sucks dick. Yeah, what is it? There's a globe in there? There's like yes, it's like fucking
[00:56:00] Mmm earth's gravitational this is what happens when no one can kick your ass
[00:56:07] Embarrassing yourself Floyd Floyd Mayweather's illiterate ass beat him. Well, that's a bit boxing Floyd Mayweather didn't have to learn how to read
[00:56:14] Right. I met him once at red box. Yeah. Yeah McDonald's right my house. What was you getting?
[00:56:21] He was in a yellow Lambo with two cedar at Lambo with two girls, which pretty cool
[00:56:27] then you can imagine that they're sitting inside of each other. He's also kind of small though tiny man
[00:56:33] He's small tiny man. It was right after the Ricky Ricky hat and fight and I was in college at the time
[00:56:39] I said I was in something very embarrassing to him, but he was cool with it was the N word
[00:56:45] No, I said I said I said me and all my I was like money May me and all my friends were rooting for you against Ricky hat
[00:56:53] But I kind of was embarrassed that I said did it had it didn't fight him in
[00:57:00] Maybe hadn't was the guy that got fat when he wasn't fighting and then lose it all somebody slumped him though
[00:57:08] Because hadn't everyone's like hands got the power
[00:57:11] Mayweather may weather be his ass. That was like a great white
[00:57:15] Hype. Yeah, great great white hope kind of situation. Absolutely because there was that there was that yeah
[00:57:22] He's like super working-class British. Yeah, he was like a Manchester guy. Yeah, and
[00:57:27] It was cool, but a bunch of guys asked fuck by both of them. I think yeah
[00:57:31] I saw a packy also because he lived in Vegas walking around
[00:57:36] When I was going in cosmic bowling I was at the at the what he called the fucking
[00:57:43] Sunset casino, but yeah, he was chilling just with like 40 guys
[00:57:48] Oh, yeah, we're that diner that the fucking neon diner the
[00:57:54] Pepper mill I'm trying to go that place is so cool. I'm trying to go there and have some places so
[00:57:59] French toast. It's in casino. They use as a location. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got my picture taken there
[00:58:06] I took really I took mad and will and Felix there what in
[00:58:15] Was your cock in her mouth, of course, that's how they take your picture
[00:58:19] Vegas yeah, yeah that places if you're Taney listener the show if you're in Vegas is a very cool place to go
[00:58:27] Yeah, go over there and get Adam sucked his first car get a milkshake paper mill diner
[00:58:32] The two we move out. So we all move out to the desert the middle of nowhere. No state tax, baby
[00:58:38] Really? Yeah, you move that you won't stop. How's this out moving the Reno? Yeah?
[00:58:46] Yeah, it's living on a ranch. We get some we get two regular horses and one big fat horse for why don't you for like
[00:58:53] Big chores and stuff yeah draft horse. Yeah
[00:59:00] We do surgery to combine two horses we sew them together at the back
[00:59:04] No, dude like a horse has to pull shit. That's yours for a horse
[00:59:10] No, dude. I'm not a desert guy. I need some some water. Maybe not ocean, but like a lake or a stream. I don't fuck
[00:59:19] It's the waters just sitting there. It's a big enough lake if it's big enough then that's kind of an ocean
[00:59:24] If you go to Lake Michigan that looks like a no, it doesn't have to be that big
[00:59:33] We do have a patreon patreon.com slash comtown and you can unlock
[00:59:40] Two hundred and something 17 years every episodes
[00:59:44] What's free if you pay five dollars for you pay the five dollars a month and you have free access to?
[00:59:51] thousand beautiful archive and the next your episode every week and if you want t-shirts you can go to com.town and
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