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Ep. 245 - smark coulerds

Cum Town | Regular | 02/04/2021

[00:00:00] You never know there's no guarantees in life
[00:00:03] except for me
[00:00:04] get my fucking little ball. He sucked and
[00:00:08] Good after you take that to the bank good afternoon. I got something you can take to the bank right here pal
[00:00:13] It's called my pee pee loss. Yeah, okay. I'm the teller. Oh, sorry. We don't take microscopic
[00:00:20] Deposits yeah, I got it. So they take big dicks at the bank
[00:00:24] This bank at this particular rank they do interesting. I got a deposit you can take right here pal
[00:00:33] It's called my my ass. Yeah, we'll take that actually and we use it as the vault because it can hold
[00:00:40] Let's just get the reads out of the way. You could buy cushy dreams and get you dec
[00:00:46] You know
[00:00:47] Breeze down for the episode I would like my one million dollars
[00:00:56] We couldn't in theory open the show with ads right yeah, but there then people just skip them
[00:01:03] People don't understand the genius of this show is definitely genius
[00:01:07] Is that they've distracted everybody with a conversation about whether it's political or comedy and the answer is neither
[00:01:13] It's a way to trick you into having to listen to the edge the greatest achievement you can
[00:01:20] achieve
[00:01:25] All right, yes, get this get the old-school meme format ready
[00:01:29] Post yeah, Albert Einstein with his tongue out the greatest achievement you can achieve is having people accuse you of selling out
[00:01:37] true
[00:01:38] Because that means that you had something to sell the greatest dick the devil ever sucked was that he was mine
[00:01:48] That is true, I got one of the devil and I was like I'll sell you my soul
[00:01:54] For head and he was like awesome and then right when I busted I was like psych
[00:01:58] Yeah, your fingers were crossed fingers across and I said it's like he had no recourse
[00:02:03] I did that with the devil, but my fingers were double crossed so they double canceled out so he has my soul now
[00:02:09] Yeah, I'm going straight to hell the devil went down to Georgia. He was looking for some $2,000 checks. He was promised
[00:02:18] That's right, huh?
[00:02:20] Where's my fucking money? Yeah, Stewie Stewie video clip and they're holding the Stewie from family guy
[00:02:26] Yeah, where's my money? No, it's my penis. There's
[00:02:30] Can't give my penis head or blast my penis
[00:02:35] Blast on my face woman blasted woman. I'm gay blast my blast me
[00:02:41] Who what the deuce? I'm trying to be blasted. I'm trying to get my ass fucked mother
[00:02:47] I'm quick. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, what?
[00:02:55] Uh, in memoriam to who died two people died this uh, or I P. Saycoo Smith. No, let me just get this
[00:03:03] Oh, it's Greet. Sorry. I should have I should have let you say well, we gotta get get the uh
[00:03:12] Oh Sophie too. Why isn't this work? She had some bangers. All right, Peter her and saycoo Smith
[00:03:24] All right, he discreet and Sophie screeching Sophie
[00:03:29] And NBA analyst sake who Smith who died of coronavirus
[00:03:34] You know what that stands for NBA
[00:03:37] This is a banger. Oh, yeah
[00:03:39] I
[00:03:41] Make you
[00:04:11] Make you make you make you all right
[00:04:19] Okay, is it still recording? Yeah, oh no, it didn't start. Oh
[00:04:24] Wait, no, yeah, then you got it. Yeah. Yeah, we're still recording
[00:04:28] Okay, I like I wanted to say first of all R.P. Sophie obviously, but also that song in particular
[00:04:33] I really enjoy because I love the idea
[00:04:37] It's when I listen to the song I'm thinking that a girl is begging me to let her suck my dick
[00:04:44] Mm-hmm, and I've never been in that I've had girls who wanted suck my dick and there's even been like please
[00:04:49] Please yes, it does it's never
[00:04:52] In a playful sexual
[00:04:55] No, I'm not
[00:04:57] My dick and wanted to suck we all plenty of girls and wanted to suck my dick
[00:05:06] Nick is just a fucking line. Are you saying?
[00:05:10] Nick wishes he can fuck like me. No, I fuck nice and I fuck
[00:05:16] I do fuck nice with panache I fuck with panache and I fuck nice
[00:05:20] Ask the girls have a nice butter that you put all over your walls and have a dog look at all
[00:05:24] That's panache, but you've only had sex with dogs
[00:05:29] Sex with the dog lots of girls. You've only had sex never a dog's man
[00:05:36] No, that's not true
[00:05:47] It doesn't even sound like the fucking song I'm trying my best
[00:05:50] If you just give me a break
[00:05:55] Nick's trapped in a very gay dimension right now
[00:05:59] You know in a fucking J dildo
[00:06:06] First time
[00:06:12] Hi Michael, how are you?
[00:06:14] Very
[00:06:26] I have to his name
[00:06:29] Name him gay actor Michael Douglas. I'll be playing a Hispanic character
[00:06:35] Wanted to make sure that I didn't do it wrong. All right, let's hear it
[00:06:40] And
[00:06:43] Well, that's that was that you or was that a Hispanic guy that was me Wow, where are you coming from?
[00:06:54] If someone could please
[00:06:56] Are you gonna like a cathedral or something something with a high ceiling? I mean the US Embassy Libya
[00:07:02] And Christopher Stevens is here having sex with his balls
[00:07:18] Back
[00:07:22] Michael
[00:07:24] You have to start there's a mob coming there's a mob coming no he's in his ass now
[00:07:29] I'm having sex he's inside Chris and receive his ass
[00:07:33] You're inside the hero Christopher Stevens asshole
[00:07:41] Quick Michael you get out of there will go get Hillary I'm having sex with Christopher Stevens
[00:07:46] We sent you back in time to stop in God
[00:08:00] Now
[00:08:14] Wow that would be a good movie would it yeah
[00:08:21] Yeah, well they play Sophie
[00:08:23] Mm-hmm. It'll be great to start you know like those guys to get popular on like Instagram for doing like their own loop
[00:08:32] You know like they're just good at music
[00:08:36] Oh, you mean like beat
[00:08:38] Yeah, like NPC guys
[00:08:41] That make like Luke what's NPC it's like that pad with all the squares on those are cool. Yeah, those are one
[00:08:48] We should all get MP no, I'm getting one
[00:08:50] I mean you should get one. Thank you. I should ask you if I could play you can come over and play it for a couple minutes
[00:08:57] Well, just just just to try and start like a loop guy career, but I'm just terrible at it. Yeah
[00:09:03] It's just that shit to take your your your like a lo-fi loop type shit
[00:09:08] I don't know. I don't know anything about it to take a small business loan like covid relief bill. Yes buy an NPC
[00:09:15] Try to start your loop. I'm taking my I'm getting a covid relief
[00:09:18] uh, stabi baby enterprises we're getting alone and I'm turning my office into a
[00:09:25] fucking
[00:09:27] Sensory
[00:09:31] Century decorations sensory deprivation tank. Okay, get the fucking jit out of your I got a I got a relief for you
[00:09:39] No, you don't I'm gonna relieve all the come out of your balls
[00:09:42] Like that's true. You are I got a relief for you, buddy
[00:09:45] I
[00:09:49] All the busting no
[00:09:51] You're sucking me off against my will you feel relieved. I feel very relieved. I was
[00:09:58] Adam. How was the chili?
[00:10:00] Stop gave me some of his snow day chili fantastic fantastic
[00:10:04] Chili I'll say the the heat level perfect the texture incredible. Thank you
[00:10:09] I said the corn kernels really gave it a nice bite little corn you need a little bean and you know what?
[00:10:14] I don't
[00:10:16] You can you can get all your you can fucking put all your stuff in a blender and make it like a kind of a pasty kind of
[00:10:23] I don't like that shit. I chop up. I chop up. I like a crumb every pepper. I'll chop up every fucking onion
[00:10:30] Nice and tiny stop got arrested at the bow day. I did not get it
[00:10:34] He tried to order too many sand the woman in front of me ordered 12
[00:10:38] Let me get a you blamed it on that black chop. She was a black extra cheese
[00:10:42] You got a salt in my pulley. I want extra chop on my cheese. I got a guy. I got it
[00:10:47] I got it. I got it. That's just way. Did I chop up that? I'll tell you exactly what I got
[00:10:50] I said I want more chop. I got I don't first of all I don't like chop cheeses. Okay. I love chop cheeses
[00:10:56] I'm going to the cheese steak guy. I love go to the bidego. We're gonna chop the steak guy. We got a
[00:11:03] Five one five five five one five. We got a
[00:11:06] No, it's gonna have a fat guy ordering two mitties. We have we have a 61 82. We don't have a 60
[00:11:15] Dispatch dispatches to 11. We're outside the bow dagger looks like we can see him from outside the store
[00:11:20] Two 11 to 11. He's happy. He's basing back important in his stomachs knocking everything off the
[00:11:26] No, not again. Sometimes that happens. It's a small bow dagger. So we're crossing a second EMT to
[00:11:32] Why is there a first EMT we have to back the ambulances up to each other so we can fit his body
[00:11:42] Dispatch
[00:11:44] Dispatch to 18 copy
[00:11:47] They're backed up into each other one goes
[00:11:51] That's really hard to pull off
[00:11:54] Classic first one I fit in an ambulance another stop rose classic
[00:11:58] 360 one the way we copy you we got the ambulance is doing asked to carry the fat man out about that
[00:12:04] Copy much better man than me and fit in an ambulance. What is that my heart rate? He's good. He's out of
[00:12:13] Sir serve one second. We're gonna be back up. What do you think next tells? Yes
[00:12:22] Were you happy the whole set of behind your
[00:12:25] 2018 copy
[00:12:27] What's 16 what's your got which 20? Oh, we're on a way. We got we got pinot em and ours and almond
[00:12:34] You know, I know you requested the regular because that'll learn him out of the store
[00:12:39] Oh a honey pot. So we got to talk to to ops this past to make sure we have enough candy
[00:12:46] I ordered one sandwich. I ordered chicken breast tomato. He's not his line avocado banana peppers
[00:12:54] lettuce honey mustard
[00:12:59] This is the aerial sport helicopter
[00:13:02] We're trying to get a visual on the suspect, but he's even from here too fat. How which one is it?
[00:13:12] No, no, no, how am I too fat to be seen dispatch for
[00:13:16] It's camouflage
[00:13:19] Dispassive
[00:13:23] He's too fat to fit in the helicopter's camera
[00:13:27] And he's got
[00:13:29] He's got a friend with him a little to be like a jewish woman about five foot one
[00:13:33] Hey, and she's uh her penis is too small
[00:13:38] Okay, it's the word that cameras broke
[00:13:41] We're crashing
[00:13:55] Big staple of your mama so fat jokes was the gravitational pull
[00:14:01] Was it aspect to is that a big staple? That was a staple. You know what else has a big staple is stop stomach
[00:14:06] No, it's don't wait. They wouldn't that wouldn't let me know but when it did it's not working
[00:14:11] Yeah, okay. He busted through that stable. I met a guy who had got the stomachs how to work out
[00:14:16] He says he hates it. He says you have first of all you have to chew the fuck out of your food
[00:14:19] He really met this guy in the community. No, I'm using comedian shots at the poly
[00:14:25] polypelogrophso on twitter
[00:14:27] Funny guy. He said he's a you vomit if you don't chew good enough
[00:14:32] um
[00:14:34] I think no, I think you got to chew the fuck out of your food and then it goes
[00:14:37] Because your stomach doesn't I don't fuck remember. Oh the the um the tantric method
[00:14:42] Stoves into tantric eating but he's a good guy and he was funny over for me in Tucson and the Phoenix
[00:14:48] Did you hear what I said? I'm blowing past it
[00:14:50] I was eating facts. You know what? Tantric eating sounds pretty
[00:14:53] Yeah, just eat for hours. You never bust. Yeah, you never get full. You never sh-
[00:14:59] You never sh-
[00:15:00] I don't know quite shitting to busting. Some people love shitting
[00:15:03] So is this poly here? Is he fatter than you or skinnier than me? Uh, I met him when he was smaller
[00:15:08] But I believe he was fat as hell. It's something
[00:15:12] um
[00:15:13] but
[00:15:14] Do you ever get attitude from fatter people?
[00:15:17] Like they get attitude. Yeah, like you don't know what it's like. Like the way dark skin black people sometimes
[00:15:23] Exactly
[00:15:25] Exactly the same type of yeah same type of thing. We're just sort of worth thinking
[00:15:28] We thought of as pretty boys in the fat community. Yeah, I am sort of a pretty boy in the fat community
[00:15:32] I'll say that I suppose I suppose I'm the equivalent of all my skin
[00:15:43] Slightly less lions growl like this in the fat community. It's thin skin
[00:15:48] I'm thin skin. You're a thin skin fat man. I'm thin-boned. Yeah
[00:15:52] being boned
[00:15:54] I can make you say penis
[00:15:57] Whether you want to or not. Whoa
[00:16:00] I can make you suck my dick
[00:16:02] With a gun
[00:16:04] Yeah, Dustin Diamond too
[00:16:06] Rough screech
[00:16:08] Sophie and screech for both uh
[00:16:10] It's the cool the cool S
[00:16:13] Kurt so who would be next what
[00:16:17] Cool names with an S. Yeah, I can't think of one person
[00:16:22] Screech Sophie
[00:16:24] Are you guys both serious? Cisco Cisco
[00:16:28] Cisco but also
[00:16:30] Stop. Yeah, but you're a stubborn self. Yes. Okay. Oh, but come on most people
[00:16:37] I'm
[00:16:38] I'm the most notable star brothers. Oh, ladies. No
[00:16:41] You see already your last name as a fuck you to your dad. I should just go buy a stop
[00:16:55] And no another what?
[00:16:57] I can't believe who do I'm gonna do I'll be like one of the stand-up guys that talks about old rap
[00:17:01] Yeah, but just point out the end
[00:17:05] I'd love to say um excuse me
[00:17:08] Who's in Paris? That's not very cool to
[00:17:11] Black indigenous people. Oh, they can say it. Mm-hmm
[00:17:15] But when I get off the plane
[00:17:18] Charles de Gaulle airport and I say wow there's a lot of in Paris now
[00:17:23] I'm the bag. I just listened to uh, it's a white fragility on tape. Uh-huh. Oh, you got the tape
[00:17:28] Is it about both of your dicks as read by um Sean Connery just before he passed
[00:17:35] Yes, which difficult to talk to what people about race because
[00:17:40] You let them have the last word and they've already had the last word and they keep going in that case
[00:17:45] Yes, I think it's perfectly acceptable to slap them. Just slappaw white woman. It's a slappaw white woman person
[00:17:54] That would be awesome if he rebranded as a guy who just really hated white women white women are teetering on the edge
[00:18:00] I can't wait. They still haven't gotten their full come up and so what happened?
[00:18:03] The Karen thing was good and they try to come back into the fold. Yeah. No man. We got to push him back. No
[00:18:09] No, man
[00:18:10] Fenn for yourself when white women are all like living with their fucking mom like playing fucking starcraft
[00:18:17] And I
[00:18:18] They're all on female dating strategy and like getting cancer from eating at 7-11
[00:18:26] Because because they blow their paycheck from you know kfc on scratch off lottery. Yes, which I'm sorry
[00:18:34] You mean investing?
[00:18:36] Because they're investing once once white women are that position maybe you can come to the cookout
[00:18:44] You're invented to the white man cookout. He's just eating
[00:18:48] Seven hot dogs. Yeah, right together and and our only table is it's not a dinner table
[00:18:53] It's a fucking foldable. I probably said it before already on the show, but nothing nothing made me feel more validated
[00:18:59] Then then seedy dole becoming a man. Yep, and then fucking like after three weeks
[00:19:06] Yeah, he's having a having a right and Frank's entire diary about their receding hairline
[00:19:14] Welcome brother. Yeah, it ain't so easy. Is it right? She thought she was but just or he thought they were you were gonna boy be Jeff Bezos immediately
[00:19:22] Maybe in one department. That's right be involved. You dumb fuck. Mm-hmm. Yeah, could never be me by the way
[00:19:32] As a formerly as a man
[00:19:34] And you know what I let me apologize to the bald community for Rachel dolls all in the wall for so long
[00:19:39] Because I have a beautiful head of hair
[00:19:41] Yeah, white women think that every white man has the opportunity to be Don Draper when in reality the vast majority of them are just gonna be sling blade
[00:19:48] Yep, we're the guy who's talking to sling blade at the beginning of the movie
[00:19:54] The scary guy. Yeah, JT Walsh. Yeah, that scene is really scary. Never seen sling blade dude that movie
[00:20:01] Sling blade is one of the best movies ever. All right. I'll watch it. I'll put it on the list
[00:20:05] I think I think what I'm gonna do. I think I'm gonna after the snow clears
[00:20:09] Maybe you know what maybe I'll start my 30 second year this way. I think I'm gonna do fitness February
[00:20:14] And I work out hard in the mornings and then I watch three movies
[00:20:19] And then I work out hard and when I say hard, I don't mean
[00:20:24] With a lot of effort. I mean their extra dick on Swole thanks to do you calm the nation's premier leading
[00:20:32] Dictuables website in the fucking universe
[00:20:37] This is my friends this product is so gorgeous. It's changed our lives
[00:20:41] Make it start penis. I can make it your dick on
[00:20:46] Blue
[00:20:49] That's how you do it good job
[00:20:53] I can make you take I can make you take bigger
[00:20:56] With the blue
[00:20:59] Peanuts you have to chew it
[00:21:01] I can make you so pain
[00:21:06] Your snack
[00:21:08] Your snack brought a sex assess the point king told me your breast assess on the best of
[00:21:13] Bouncy the grading the craving the bout your a unique it on the couch with me bitch getting fucking your ass through your fish
[00:21:19] Next cutting queaves your bounty eat shit next
[00:21:21] That's it fast. I'm fucking dumb long so my dick is numb hold it the scum sticking a gun in your cunt
[00:21:26] I'm fine. I'm making believe I'm raping you joke and you make you calm. It's edge play
[00:21:30] You can't fucking run the murder you by mistake and leave you dead in the bedslade
[00:21:35] That's that's what I'm thinking about when I take blue
[00:21:39] That gentleman was clearly on blue to calm that can ours his own necro necro
[00:21:44] Yeah, necro had his dick hard from blue to who likes that
[00:21:52] Present
[00:21:54] Um, it's a because I think it's a song you ironically like but then also it's good. Yeah
[00:22:03] It's time of the season. Uh, is that what he samples? I think even sample it feels like just a song. Yeah
[00:22:11] You're a dumb bitch
[00:22:13] You're a bitch. Oh my penis your dick isn't hard, but it could be if you took
[00:22:23] blue chew
[00:22:25] If you like sex then you'll love blue chew
[00:22:30] Dot-com. I love that they really not blue chew. It's blue chew dot-com
[00:22:36] That's my favorite part of this ad. Yeah, if you love sex you'll love blue chew dot-com
[00:22:41] You love going on the website. You'll have using the website. You'll like the interface
[00:22:45] You'll like the the flat design the UX, but here's that's my penis. Let me tell you suck my balls
[00:22:51] Let's do the straight talking
[00:22:53] All right, let's suck my balls bullshit on this show. Let's get on the straight talk express right now. I'm with you john McCain
[00:23:05] Let's get on the straight suck off express. Let me tell you this
[00:23:08] McCain style. Let's call our bit our wife a cunt in front of the report
[00:23:12] Exactly. And let me say this if john McCain had taken blue chew. He would not have died
[00:23:16] He would have been alive. Yeah, he'd be alive right now
[00:23:19] He'd be getting all the ball the cat all his blood would be getting I was
[00:23:23] To his cock when I was in vietnam. I always used to imagine that my penis could get hard
[00:23:29] Vietnamese they did everything they could to help me tied my dick up to ropes
[00:23:34] I hung me from it. No matter what they did my dick was still small
[00:23:39] That's why my daughter is so fat is because I had slow sperm
[00:23:42] Yeah, it's true
[00:23:43] It's all when your dick is short and limp. The only the weak sperm get through because interesting the faster ones are
[00:23:49] You know, it's sort of a tortoise in the hair scenario. They're napping
[00:23:53] That's how little your dick that's that's the that's the problem with tortoise and hair story
[00:23:58] It's a story about a rabbit who of course could win the race and he's so bored because he's already so talented
[00:24:04] Exactly. He let's read our tortoise win, but guess what now the race is over and you're still some faggot turtle
[00:24:10] So the rabbits out there getting pussy
[00:24:12] Yeah, I'm fucking for that is so true
[00:24:15] Yeah, and that's what you can do a blue chew.com if you take it that blue chew.com
[00:24:18] Have sex my ass fuck me in my ass
[00:24:20] You get the fuck Nick in his ass with blue chew dog me in my mouth and ass dot com
[00:24:24] How many guys this thing wouldn't be stoked to fuck Nick in the ass, but because they would just get to hang out with him
[00:24:30] Sounds like projection
[00:24:33] Sounds like it's the other time. I would never fuck you in the ass you're hitting me up
[00:24:37] You're like, can we please go on a romantic day?
[00:24:41] Stop for the last time
[00:24:44] I have a wife
[00:24:47] This is a character I do want to show funny if you were just a guy named like Joshua
[00:24:51] My and I have to add the end of the day. I go back to being Benjamin Feinstein
[00:24:58] actor
[00:25:00] son of famous composer
[00:25:02] Jonathan Feinstein
[00:25:04] So fucking true who wrote all of the music to
[00:25:09] Boys don't save the last dance. Oh, yeah, the composer who saved the last
[00:25:14] I was sorry be if I did remake that movie, but it's called save the last piece of pussy
[00:25:18] Mm-hmm. Bye. Yeah. Yes, and uh, and I haven't seen the movie, but I imagine it's
[00:25:25] I'm now. I'm just thinking of dangerous minds. Yeah
[00:25:29] I haven't seen any movies dangerous minds is that a blue chew calm. No, it's a movie blue chew calm
[00:25:35] Minds hold on we got it. No, it's with Michelle Fyford. She teaches Michelle. She's a fucking autistic guy who solves crimes. No
[00:25:41] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're thinking of the mentalist. No, it's dangerous. No, no, no, no
[00:25:47] dangerous laminza dangerous minds. Michelle Fyford goes into an inner state dangerous dangerous
[00:25:53] A fucking guy
[00:25:55] Come and get your first order free when you use promo code com town just pay $5 shipping
[00:25:59] That's bluichu.com promo code com town and he gets your dick card by the way get your dick card
[00:26:04] The blue chewables are made in the USA blue coochu gives you confidence better every time chew it and do it
[00:26:10] Chew it and do it you fuckers. Here's how it works. You go to the website you set up an appointment
[00:26:14] They zoom you into a physician a big-titted lady in a lab coach
[00:26:18] Question she's a real nerd dude. You can tell she's wearing glasses the pills are out the door the next day in discreet packaging
[00:26:25] Showing up to your house your neighbors sink you're buying pieces of a gun
[00:26:29] You're buying 80 percent lowers to assemble your own AR 15 in your apartment, but really it's dick pills. That's right. Mm-hmm
[00:26:37] Inconvenient excessive packaging
[00:26:39] It's it is too much package every but here's the thing it's not it specifically a blue chew problem
[00:26:45] Everything across the board now people went nuts with that's true
[00:26:49] It should just come in the envelope especially in the Amazon era. There's so much package
[00:26:53] And let me just say this fuck Bezos stepping down a CEO
[00:26:57] What's he doing now?
[00:26:59] Too drink penis
[00:27:01] To drink to drink my penis a cup of dick to suck on my penis
[00:27:10] And sir got my balls. I'm gay
[00:27:20] And you
[00:27:22] Coming
[00:27:29] I Want some horsies mini ricks mini ricks, how do you say that word mini ricks many a cheers many creatures?
[00:27:37] Mini Te
[00:27:38] I'm doing it so easily no hold on mini
[00:27:41] Monatures Surface miniature miniature miniatures mini
[00:27:43] minitures minitures you say you say it all it's a fucking hard word to say it
[00:27:49] is not that hard if you have a tongue that dances like mine it's not even a
[00:27:54] fucking problem I just googled it and now I'm thinking should I get into it
[00:27:57] tongue is British should I get into doll houses just become the gay man
[00:28:04] you've always been no the problem is thinking that I'm impeded in any way
[00:28:11] from being as much as of a faggot as I am you are no I'm I'm full I'm full force
[00:28:16] 100% constantly be making little minitures unceasing you'd be making you'd be
[00:28:22] made you honestly would be making relentlessly ceasing relentlessly
[00:28:28] unceasing you know it was Einstein that said the greatest achievement of all
[00:28:32] time black man with a library car yeah when it when they didn't have harpers
[00:28:46] yeah he said that
[00:28:50] I don't remember that he was pretty fucked up to me but what do I know I'm just a
[00:29:00] cute little fucking slut with a medium-sized prick that gets the job done even
[00:29:05] though it's it's touching ghosts from time to time and butching go it's so hard
[00:29:11] damn fucking penis yeah she get doll houses and afford model T mm-hmm and
[00:29:17] drive around with a big coat on a big scarf and driving in the goggles yeah but
[00:29:21] then completely nude from the way so I pull up to a place and I got a big
[00:29:25] driving gloves on people see me with the top down a wu-guh you know as I pull
[00:29:30] in the parking spot and I take my elaborate gloves off of my goggles and
[00:29:34] the in the scarf and I put them on the passenger seat and I step out of the
[00:29:38] car and everyone can see my penis and ass I like that idea and then I go to jail
[00:29:44] oh yeah I guess because they didn't have windshields on the first ones huh no they
[00:29:49] had windshields it was just the world was colder people understand because of
[00:29:53] global warming we'd the switch to Fahrenheit from Celsius because they're
[00:29:57] like all right well the numbers we need more numbers yeah oh that's yeah there's
[00:30:01] like people feel better it's like you remember when they added area codes to
[00:30:04] phone numbers mm-hmm I'm back in the day you used to be able to make you used to
[00:30:08] be able to pick up the phone and dial seven numbers dial seven numbers mm-hmm
[00:30:13] that was something else and then and then they rolled out the 10 number thing and
[00:30:16] then to teach it to children with a cartoon phone yeah I remember that I
[00:30:19] hate learning that I was pissed off you know what nobody remembers the God
[00:30:23] memory hold because it was brief and I think it was just test marketed in your
[00:30:27] minute landing is the your penis the milk got milk thing there is what milk had
[00:30:35] a mascot that was basically just the Philly fanatic for like a six-month
[00:30:38] period I don't remember the blue milk guy yeah I'm telling you it got memory
[00:30:46] hold is this a Mandela effect right here are you about to remember something
[00:30:51] that never happened no it absolutely happened what didn't happen is you what
[00:30:58] having my respect that's happened before you know on a few occasions
[00:31:04] that's happened what was his name the god milk monster he was just called the
[00:31:12] milk thing oh is that the swamp thing we got milk mascot I'll see the cow no I'm
[00:31:22] telling you this is a Mandela effect of a reverse even one you're about to get
[00:31:26] Mandela this guy oh you found it yeah oh well it's just a filly it's just a
[00:31:32] blue Philly fanatic from the Middle Atlantic milk marketing association
[00:31:38] Wow that's right where you guys both grew up a sob as a food fan and a child
[00:31:44] he was he wasn't eating anything healthy yes I was
[00:31:51] I mean I only remember that because it looked like the Philly fanatic you know
[00:32:05] and then things that look that you think like your your child and you're trying
[00:32:09] to understand structures in the world and so you just accept that as a category
[00:32:13] yeah things that exist like different types of fanatic there's probably an
[00:32:18] orange one out there that just you know manages the Italian American Association
[00:32:23] what's the thing oh yeah gritty that's what I was trying to remember but people
[00:32:28] think it's he's a so and Tifla or something I think he's an there's a meme
[00:32:33] where people try to make him hate fascism or something I think he's for chaos
[00:32:38] more than anything oh gritties and our kids I think gritties and our co-fascist
[00:32:43] he's an anachista what do you and our kids do they just want they just don't
[00:32:49] think anyone should be the president basically they should be no president
[00:32:52] yeah and our kids are all 13 we should have a boogaloo boy on the show to
[00:32:57] interview him and just ask him what he thinks about the grassy mmm-hmm and they
[00:33:01] should watch an episode with him why do you think if if you'd got your civil
[00:33:06] war mmm-hmm that we'd still have the grassy because we'd have we'd be relying
[00:33:09] on Canada for entertainment and honestly the shit that makes it over the border
[00:33:13] is usually pretty good not really we only get the best of Canada yeah exactly
[00:33:18] we only get the better said they save all the good food for themselves and then
[00:33:23] send the rapists and murderers here we got tacos we don't get good tacos yeah
[00:33:29] we do we get them in New York but we get them in fucking you know LA you can get
[00:33:34] them in Mexican families come here they'll start a Mexican restaurant first
[00:33:39] generation it's great and then the children their spoiled children take it
[00:33:42] over and then the menus are graphic designing the menu it's yeah it's
[00:33:46] fucking terrible they laminate the menus yeah that's when you know it's good
[00:33:50] easy shitty let me let me make this clear that stands true across the board
[00:33:54] and every instance that is actually true Greek second-generation Greek
[00:33:58] restaurants are horrible you need that shit with the mother fuckers speak
[00:34:02] English there's some good Mexican food in New York there we just need to know
[00:34:07] where to find it that one truck which was pretty good beer yolanda but it wasn't
[00:34:11] no in Jackson Heights you just love saying that don't you be real and yeah it was
[00:34:16] fine it was good but it wasn't like oh yeah how about this pal guys chill out
[00:34:20] here yeah for guys we're doing all the
[00:34:23] news that he's so there's go or whatever used to four middle fingers that'd be
[00:34:27] so sick that's if I had four hands that's what I would be doing I was the
[00:34:32] good the gorro's type of situation if I was a goro I would be doing four
[00:34:36] middle fingers cost you know a good finger popping for a child you're just gonna say
[00:34:40] that for finger popping reasons that would be awesome if I was a good as soon
[00:34:45] as quarantine ends I'm going to six flags and flipping off the rollercoaster
[00:34:49] camera if I was a girl I would know the thing I cannot wait to do I cannot wait
[00:34:56] double middle fingers right at the fucking aren't Superman ride a steel
[00:35:01] camera isn't universal studios and everything open in Florida right now it
[00:35:04] should we should go to Disney World dude the floor is completely open dude
[00:35:08] honestly I said that and now it's like we should do a little universal studios
[00:35:12] I'm not going to your company in Miami the club is open you're gonna go to the
[00:35:16] club why let's go to get on the Tower of terror and it's just not the elevator
[00:35:19] is not going up and stops I can have fun ride everybody so scary everybody's
[00:35:25] like boo we waited in line for nine hours and I was not scary now you're
[00:35:32] it what's nice is my mind oh my god that's the worst part Nick I love
[00:35:38] waiting in line I love it I love it I go to the field you get fast pass you have
[00:35:42] to pay extra money so you can skip the line last pass that's what rich kids
[00:35:47] always got they wouldn't got what is fast pass you got like a pass where you just
[00:35:51] skip the line all day no what you do is you get a wheelchair and you pretend to
[00:35:55] be handicapped that's what I would do and then you can skip the line I remember
[00:35:59] you know Hispanic family at Six Flags taking turns being handicapped I love
[00:36:05] that yeah I'm like I wish I had the audacity yeah when America comes back
[00:36:12] we're gonna be sampling all the best coasters in America we're gonna finally
[00:36:16] go to Cedar Point Ohio and ride a lot of coasters guy man really why not
[00:36:21] physics yeah I'm well within the realm of fat the what's the biggest coaster you
[00:36:29] ever been on I went on one in I went on one on Paramount motherfucking King's
[00:36:34] Dominion I went to where you scared I was scared I was tricked into it you're
[00:36:41] scared yeah I don't like roco's you're scared you can't I don't fuck with it
[00:36:46] you're a pretty cat dude and my friends lied to me they said it was only one
[00:36:50] loop there's some kind of indoor alien themed rollercoaster yeah and there's a
[00:36:55] bunch of shit and and the picture it just me like scrunched all the way the
[00:37:00] fuck up not having a good time at all not even like I didn't photograph funny
[00:37:04] scared it was like oh that's a that's a 17 year old who's a fucking bitch in a
[00:37:09] cat or he's a pussy really that's how it looks 17 year old pussy and you know
[00:37:13] what I stay getting pussy for another six years it will be a quite some time
[00:37:17] before that young man gets his dick so you know Nick is the the emotionless
[00:37:22] dead I got on the rollercoaster no he might be having fun do you Nick do you
[00:37:28] put your hands up on a rollercoaster or are you all business I'm all I'm a
[00:37:33] strictly now you're a bad him he puts on his pants one leg at a time he gets
[00:37:39] puts on the top roll coasters roll coasters are cool I love what I fucking
[00:37:44] I love him you know it's funny it's because you like is it is a kid you're
[00:37:47] like oh that's terrifying but there's nothing to be afraid of there's nothing
[00:37:50] you could fucking break you could die that's scary once again the physics
[00:37:56] sounds like no it's a workplace safety if you know that's your work my this and
[00:38:04] you know what how about this more like a pork place no no and I would love to
[00:38:09] go to a pork place stop doesn't he doesn't it's not the OSHA guy I orca God
[00:38:14] this is my place of port I was almost killed in Wildwood New Jersey teacups
[00:38:19] so maybe Buffalo Wildwood no you're almost killed wait you're almost killed
[00:38:25] out of spin eating I was eating resis cuffs Buffalo Wildwood I was to
[00:38:30] pre-game not pre-game the wings I did not do that when I go to beat up dubs I
[00:38:37] certainly have a nice amount of wings but I order everything there I don't
[00:38:41] bring any of my own food into prime you don't take no I saw you take a backpack
[00:38:44] and that's purely coincidental I had a friend in high-school I said to the
[00:38:50] white marsh Maryland mall B. Dubb's were me and my brother in my brothers in the
[00:38:57] early 2010s saw a lot of UFC pay per use I was a UFC guy was pretty cool it
[00:39:02] was a really fun bonding experience with my brothers they both have kept up with
[00:39:06] sport I have not so much I've transitioned more into watching basketball but that
[00:39:11] was always a big bonding experience with my boys going to beat up dub and
[00:39:14] getting absolutely fucked up how about a James Bond some mango habaneros and some
[00:39:19] garlic bars perhaps I had checks with your ass mr. Stavros
[00:39:23] dude I was a James Bonding experience I would love if James Bond fucked my mom
[00:39:27] that would be cool you guys would be mad if Sean Connery fucked your moms it
[00:39:33] would be cool if my I got a stepdad in general but yeah I'm trying to do drugs
[00:39:37] and watch casino one time it's a really it's pretty good yeah I watched it not
[00:39:43] too long I had I had a period where I was just I got really into making soup and
[00:39:46] watching James Bond and that was great a lot of people say my body looks a lot
[00:39:52] like no Daniel Craig walks out of the ocean in that movie he doesn't look
[00:39:58] jacked at all well that's people say I have a very similar body like somebody that just did 10 push-up all right
[00:40:03] that's not that's you have got to stop lying to you
[00:40:05] that's a lot of people say that I'm the same body as them both need to stop
[00:40:14] blinders he's a small man apparently Craig I don't know four foot ten four
[00:40:21] eleven look it up look it up bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb I think he
[00:40:28] lives James James crond you know what he does is he smokes cushy dreams James
[00:40:35] crond yeah James crond he said he's five ten he's that's a lie dude taller than
[00:40:40] normal high that's a lie he's not five foot ten you're not five foot ten yes I
[00:40:48] know you're not all right prove it I did I measured you no sleep when did you
[00:40:53] paint us two inches no that's not sure you can't brain IQ of four yeah I can't
[00:40:59] argue with that but I need if you're measuring me I need an independent
[00:41:03] auditor we measured his IQ while he was sleeping and it is the one he's one of
[00:41:08] the dumbest people sleeping people I need if you're measuring me I need price
[00:41:13] waterhouse coopers shut the fuck up for a second all right cuz you dream I love
[00:41:17] the stuff man cushy dreams calm is one of the most what are the gayest websites
[00:41:23] it's definitely no blue
[00:41:29] but they offer a whole lineup of premium smoke ball
[00:41:32] smoke again your dick hard but it does get you sort of high they specialize in
[00:41:37] extraordinary CBD rich hemp flower aka bud and we pre-roll CBD joints join the
[00:41:43] group of adults who are sick of vapes and gummies oh and smoke their CBD smoke
[00:41:49] that shit by with the fuck do I look like a baby and now is legally shipping
[00:41:53] doll 50 states 5050 50 states the primary talking points are thus it looks
[00:42:00] like high quality marijuana smells it feels like high quality and tastes like
[00:42:04] it was I've been tasted it smells like CBD content is up 20% some of the highest
[00:42:09] in the game the attention of detail is noticeable in every blue it's good shit
[00:42:12] beautiful it is good shit and it does most other CBD shit does not work for
[00:42:16] you but when you smoke it maybe it's psychosomatic but it does feel like
[00:42:21] something as opposed to absolutely nothing which is what the oil is it
[00:42:24] 100% does get a little something you get and you know what you get you get a
[00:42:28] little buzz going it helps me sleep and I do have a little foginess when I smoke
[00:42:33] regular weed there's none of that shit what it does it what it makes me feel
[00:42:36] like is I've just spent the entire day smoking weed right yeah like you're
[00:42:41] toasted yeah you feel good you relax you're like man I'm done I was a good day I
[00:42:46] love roasty toasted you know what it feels like it feels like this is this is
[00:42:50] the selling point for cushy dreams if you smoke cushy dreams it'll feel like
[00:42:55] that day we went to the Amish market and then hung out of Georgia sauce
[00:42:58] sounds nice was that the day with their cuck the Greek the good the cuck that
[00:43:03] was one of the best days of all and then also just savagely eating the chicken
[00:43:07] in the parking lot and then there was like those construction workers there
[00:43:10] that were having some kind of conversation that was fucked up I don't
[00:43:13] remember that you don't remember that we were like right outside the Amish
[00:43:15] market I remember eating the chicken and there were there were like there were
[00:43:18] like like construction guys that were like okay having some conversation that
[00:43:22] was wild and I can't remember what it was but I remember not being able to
[00:43:26] comment on today do they do they like well they threw out the rape charge but
[00:43:30] it wasn't that but it was something like that do they fuck a girl on rum
[00:43:34] springer I remember being at a diner with my friend one time and there was
[00:43:38] two guys at a booth behind us and we couldn't we couldn't hear most of their
[00:43:41] conversation but then one of the guys goes yeah yeah no I mean the girl the
[00:43:46] guy game rapes she got shot in the face Wow that's a tough fucking look that's
[00:43:54] that's that's when the music stops I would say that's a couple L's back to
[00:43:58] back independent lab testing shows compliance and purity grown in California
[00:44:02] in Oregon which plan is hand selected by a team of experienced cannabis flower
[00:44:06] experts it's an alternative for people looking to cut back on smoking other
[00:44:11] things it mixes well like pole like smoking is slow cured for two to four
[00:44:18] weeks to guarantee maximum freshness and preserve her
[00:44:23] they take the artisan approach everyone is a small batch that sounds
[00:44:28] inefficient and gay to me whatever floats your boat quality though brother it's
[00:44:33] good shit I'm telling you 100% hand trim never machine trimmed no fuck yep they
[00:44:40] got real slaves use a breakdown they got three lines they got private reserve
[00:44:44] ultra premium and premium and each one is soaked in the respective type of
[00:44:48] gasoline each can size is three and a half grams which is an eighth I love
[00:44:57] that nitrogen seal less little bit less alright and the desire you got six
[00:45:01] strange you got relaxed piece create hustle dream energy and dream and all of
[00:45:06] them do that and all of them do those things so go to cushy dreams calm spelled
[00:45:10] k u s h y dreams a checkout use promo code comtown c u m t o w n for 20% off
[00:45:16] your first order smoke your CBD because you can again that's cushy dreams dot
[00:45:21] com that's right k u s h y dreams promo code c u m t o w m smoke your CBD because
[00:45:28] you can because you can one of the honesty best little slogans all time
[00:45:34] we go it's good shit that makes me calm in my mouth smoke my car that's a good
[00:45:41] logo or because I'm straight I can make you suck penis I love watching the
[00:45:52] grassy yeah we watched two episodes of the grass today pretty good day if you
[00:45:57] ask me if you just if you swing back and forth you do the grassy and then trailer
[00:46:02] park boys yeah I would love to there should be taking the tour of Canada
[00:46:06] there should be like the two universes should converge at some point and send
[00:46:12] Ricky to that high oh Ricky Tiki sucky Dickey
[00:46:18] Ricky's Ricky sucky Dickey do you think Elliot Page will price his role as Trinity
[00:46:24] and we're doing we're doing a show called blindies not trays who's who's
[00:46:29] daughter was he was he she was Trinity in the Matrix LA page was Trinity in the
[00:46:36] Matrix Keanu was a penis damn I wonder I wonder when it all shakes out how many
[00:46:43] people are gonna be trans at least two on this you're saying they were saying
[00:46:48] that you do you think I'm trans yeah you'd be a big fun girl I would be the
[00:46:54] brother girl I'd be also I'm just like just incredibly handsome black guy I'd be
[00:47:00] second so much me me be Bobak no I wouldn't I would not be candid pig maybe it was
[00:47:07] wearing too much makeup that's you did I would be doing a natural look maybe a
[00:47:11] little blush and maybe a muted lip me me that's it maybe maybe maybe a little
[00:47:19] eyeliner just make her make her a host pop I don't think so no this is
[00:47:24] absolutely a stop I'm hotter than me me honestly I'm not even fucking lying
[00:47:31] no you're me who's the actual plate her name is me me Bobak and Kathy Kenny can
[00:47:40] you imagine a fatter name that is really a fat bitch's name I've ever heard it mmm
[00:47:45] me me Bobak was in them is an American actress was actually comedian Kathy
[00:47:54] Kenny let's see her not in makeup
[00:48:02] oh baby when you suck my dick oh damn she is looking too good who who meow meow
[00:48:13] Bobak yeah she'll always look good to me you think Drew carry ever smashed yeah
[00:48:22] probably on set I'm trying to fuck the other lady who didn't they have a friend
[00:48:26] that was a girl in that show yeah but she was fine she could catch it she could
[00:48:31] catch the Prickadel her and drew dated how long is you
[00:48:39] it's crazy because it's like there's all these shows that I would never watch
[00:48:43] now that I've watched every episode yeah I know it was like it was just
[00:48:47] nothing else to do watch so much scrubs I've seen so I mean the fact that I've
[00:48:52] seen so much home improvement is wild yeah I've seen probably every episode
[00:48:56] of home improvement every episode of family man I remember when they switched
[00:48:59] the tool time girl it was it was a yeah it was the Miller's the one I'm thinking
[00:49:07] yeah she could get catch it she's dead no yeah she died I'm kidding playing a
[00:49:14] joke on she died from fucking a guy that looks like she she was crushed to death
[00:49:19] by a big fat man who tried to give her a hug she's looking good to this day it
[00:49:25] appears who Krista Miller don't worry about it oh she was on scrubs too that's
[00:49:31] right
[00:49:35] oh wait did she do you remember the scrub song I'm no Superman I'm no super
[00:49:39] man yeah Kate O'Brien's name of the character oh she's married to Bill Lawrence
[00:49:49] smart secure that prick secure that bag for life who's Bill Lawrence Bill
[00:49:54] Lawrence is the guy who created scrubs and like runs a bunch of shows my girl my
[00:49:59] girl slurped her way to the top no she's a good actress just bailing on that
[00:50:04] immediately no we're just I feel bad cuz she's hot okay if you want the
[00:50:10] reality let's see what else Bill William van Duser Lawrence the fourth what a
[00:50:16] fucking now that's his name van Duser oh Lord he has written for many other
[00:50:23] shows including the Nanny and boy me children you know what he's got a pretty
[00:50:26] good Ted Lasso clone oh he did clone high spin city that was a good one
[00:50:33] cougar town didn't watch that one scrubs like I said I did watch quite a bit and
[00:50:38] I did want to fuck the blonde lady in it who had a big breast I got some you
[00:50:43] can scrub though I don't have the world's tiniest sponge mmm-hmm
[00:50:49] my would you need to all science for your dick no so you can do the detail work
[00:50:53] to respect it so you get in the creases in every little show I know for you
[00:51:01] boss I'm no Superman no Superman yeah that was a good show shut shut out to
[00:51:12] fucking Carla who was also in the Sopranos she fucked Paulie as well as
[00:51:17] Turk Turks wife fucked Paulie Paulie walnuts yeah who do you get pussy from
[00:51:23] you got pushed from the hot latina from scrubs really yes I don't remember that
[00:51:28] Wow I feel like I've seen every episode of the Sopranos a million times
[00:51:33] well clearly not I forgot the I forgot Paulie fucking anyone other than a
[00:51:39] fucking prostitute Paulie had a Gu Mar for a second oh he had a Gu Mar
[00:51:45] but he was a he was a single adult male still it's you know what that's the
[00:51:52] thing I'm looking for a Gu Mar right now even though I don't have a wife a
[00:51:56] grandma no I don't want to have a grandma yeah I'm over at my Gu Mar
[00:52:00] I want to miss you and I have no wife you've never had sex just a quick
[00:52:10] addendum there you never I have and he's never answered stop time he's gay and
[00:52:15] he's never answered dude seriously can we stop stop the show for a second let me
[00:52:20] hit pause here and he's never answered I told you not to tell me what I was
[00:52:23] next whoops all right we're gonna start the show back we're back on bliring
[00:52:30] line I'm William and Buckley June I guess today William can you admit that I do
[00:52:39] get pussy sure yes wow is William and Buckley a black Republican we don't have
[00:52:50] to say we don't have to say we don't have to do anything unless you wanted to
[00:52:54] jump in no offer something I don't want to say what I said before when we were
[00:52:59] doing that bit when we had that bar is it by we're gonna have to bleep
[00:53:02] something again I'm not gonna say it yeah Adam was saying something really
[00:53:06] foul earlier today that's a weird cap you got on the colors are weird it's weird
[00:53:10] right I like it what's tripping me out yeah it is tripping I'm trying to look
[00:53:14] like it looks like you know like a DVD Fox up mm-hmm and then it's like those
[00:53:19] we're in the colors yeah yeah yeah that's pretty cool well it changes color when
[00:53:24] it's stretched out
[00:53:25] versus what it's small I can make it I can put it on your face I can put it on your face
[00:53:39] I wonder what do you wonder I wonder if Sophie's in heaven listening to us I
[00:53:44] hope so I hope so I hope you suck my dick if I put a gun to your hand screech
[00:53:55] also having cancer is a weird one he had lung cancer was he blasting too many
[00:54:00] things I read an article about yeah the people that getting like lung cancer
[00:54:04] even though they never smoked how do they get it from like just going outside
[00:54:07] damn can you imagine how much of a put like how it's stupid you would feel if
[00:54:11] you got lung cancer and you're like I never smoked cigarettes and then you die
[00:54:14] from it you die from it meanwhile we're blasting six in the we're gonna live
[00:54:20] forever picture of perfect health oh yeah we're a don't us is uh-huh was that
[00:54:25] Lewis black joke that fucking like the way to live forever is being a miserable
[00:54:30] piece of shit you just go outside every day and like hey you fucking kids get
[00:54:36] the fuck off my lawn and it's just like taking vitamins great joke I don't
[00:54:42] remember yeah I'm sure you don't you're too busy having lunch that special came
[00:54:47] out I mean probably at some point during the day maybe you remember it came out
[00:54:52] maybe the typer's eight hour lunch you're like a long one chug out of your
[00:54:57] eyes I'm a European style like a long one like a long dinner of tort now damn now
[00:55:02] I want three cheese tortellini see see what happens forgot how much I like to
[00:55:07] I want to make home at pot I haven't had tortellini in forever you can go get it
[00:55:11] not good there's a lot of things you can do we're about squirtle leaning when
[00:55:17] you're straight man the world is your honesty I want squirtle any do you don't
[00:55:26] want to eat pussy yeah we're taking pussy applications just send I'm looking for
[00:55:32] a Gumar if you're listening you don't even have a girlfriend I know that's what
[00:55:36] makes it but that's the relationship I want but he's saying like Paulie had a
[00:55:39] Gumar and no wife yeah I like the vibe of a mistress without cheating on
[00:55:48] anyone yeah we hang out for one really fun day every like couple weeks she
[00:55:52] doesn't speak English you give her a present what I want I want an enabler
[00:55:56] somebody that's just gonna come fill me with drugs oh you get there's plenty
[00:56:00] you can encourage me to continue doing drugs that was the key that was the
[00:56:04] beauty that would be of our only friendship yeah co-enabling yeah just
[00:56:08] just like a leaving Las Vegas situation and Elizabeth shoe uh-huh except instead
[00:56:15] of being a prostitute you're like a lawyer or something why why not just like a
[00:56:19] woman that makes $300,000 a year filling me that would be cool that would be
[00:56:24] filling me with drugs that would be cool if we all dated professional business
[00:56:28] type lady she's just furious she spends her whole day being pissed off and
[00:56:32] yelling at people and then it makes her feel good to give me what I want which
[00:56:36] is heroin heroin yeah and to jack off your lip she gets she gets control from
[00:56:41] that not even just like like the way you would feed a cat mm-hmm that's you're
[00:56:46] spitefully because you're not gonna bring yourself to kick it right yeah instead
[00:56:50] you want to kill itself with you exactly that's but that's what I want I
[00:56:56] would like that but with getting my dick sucked yeah I would like to get
[00:57:03] jacked off of my dick sucked and some pussy as well would you hug my hand if I
[00:57:10] was a freakin would you fuck my ass or did you fuck me if I gave you ten
[00:57:19] dollars but this the sea shanty thing have you seen this it's so funny that like
[00:57:28] this dumb shit that's like itself explanatory why it's popular you know
[00:57:34] because it's stupid and it's easy to consume like come on they can fuck my
[00:57:37] ass but then then like there's numbers next to it that say that 10 million
[00:57:42] people have watched this and then the New York Times has to be like the sea
[00:57:46] shanty explained right just a fucking like boomers it's a dumb catchy song boomers
[00:57:54] that think someone's gonna song think a guy dressed as a buffalo is gonna come
[00:57:57] into their gated community and rip their mail-in ballot for Biden out of their
[00:58:02] hands and like you know cold rolled in their own garage no could never happen
[00:58:09] me cuz I would fuck that guy yeah they're like what is what is sea shanty is it
[00:58:12] is it fascist please New York Times tell me whether or not this is fascist I
[00:58:20] saw Kimmel said that the GameStop boys were all Russian crisis
[00:58:25] dick is actually incredibly small I used to be my favorite one of them yeah
[00:58:30] yeah now he's talking about who the fuck is on Wall Street side of a Wall Street
[00:58:35] versus anyone debate yeah it's one of the gayest that's the gayest thing you
[00:58:40] could do Jimmy Kimmel yeah Jimmy Kimmel you're no longer Las Vegas's favorite
[00:58:45] son it is now me did you see that video where it was like after Trump lost they
[00:58:49] had like CGI of like the Statue of Liberty dancing and Abraham Lincoln
[00:58:53] dancing on on the Kimmel show it was one of the worst things it's so funny that
[00:58:59] like in two years time what's it called like dot night with Lilly Singh or
[00:59:04] whatever that's just she's that's gonna be what night is that what you say yeah
[00:59:09] like at midnight it's not that the theme it's kind of like a net like a
[00:59:13] computer show I've never seen it but I assume it's like a lot I thought it was
[00:59:18] not yeah I thought it was just like a web thing yeah like dot night yeah like
[00:59:23] Lilly Singh dot night yeah like what was the like Microsoft dot net yeah yeah it's
[00:59:29] a comedy dot night dot night yeah with Lilly Singh okay yeah isn't that the name
[00:59:35] that's the name yeah that's the name so in three years what we say that that'll
[00:59:38] be the best late night show oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah she'll be the badass
[00:59:43] one she's be like the only who doesn't cry on the air yeah well I've watched I
[00:59:48] watched maybe the first two of the monologue is is just I mean I don't know
[00:59:52] what else is the rest of the show she has a guest on that's like yeah an Asian
[00:59:56] woman that's learning graffiti what the fuck is that job yeah I what what is it
[01:00:05] air on oh wait did you it's on the it's on like a streaming app it's on dot TV
[01:00:10] it's on dot TV or did you make Carson dailies another online platform Adam
[01:00:16] what are you doing you got your papers here I've I've forgot that I got a new
[01:00:20] insurance card for my car and I still haven't put in my glove box and now it's
[01:00:24] all torn up honestly in my pocket Trump should have read the writing on the wall
[01:00:28] when it was clear he wasn't gonna win mm-hmm and just spent the last two months
[01:00:32] going absolutely yolo making Jews where stars and stuff cutting it cutting it
[01:00:37] off right at the end yeah public executions yeah yeah he really blew the
[01:00:43] chance right the forcing them to force him to put Abraham Lincoln in blackface
[01:00:48] in the Lincoln Memorial they pay them by that the company's like my first act
[01:00:53] is gonna be clearing off the makeup we're gonna get the makeup off a blink
[01:01:03] yeah that's what he should have done some shit like that it should have
[01:01:07] it would have been you should have been you would have been yolo that would have
[01:01:13] been you know that would have been a smart money play right there that's the
[01:01:17] motto I'm hungry you know what I just had some established delicious chili I
[01:01:22] have some chili in the fridge mate yeah I might have some I had a nice little
[01:01:26] sandwich where there was a boat called the captain fog and the captain was named
[01:01:30] Adam oh well let him is gay out of his game
[01:01:35] get his balls are small and the storm came in and a blue office pan said
[01:01:39] everyone saw a host was a dick was and the sales they cried in board and they
[01:01:45] and everyone on the ship they laughed and the laughter blew the sales was hard
[01:01:49] and they made it back to shore and the villain for Adam's dick so small the
[01:01:53] laughter would be no more and it would cause it was his dick so small they made
[01:01:57] it all the way home yep because there was no win that day and they were all
[01:02:02] they called him gay and fuck you
[01:02:06] the you are gay you think you're small and you suck my dick right now I don't
[01:02:16] like that no no you said fuck my he was speaking from your perspective that was
[01:02:21] your verse in the song you talking to another gay guy that that does that part
[01:02:27] of the song ends with a comma and then a quotation mark then it says it Adam said
[01:02:33] it Scottish very easily becomes Indian yeah we went down to their store and they
[01:02:42] heard of that they didn't have enough for middle cuddling to saw we had no God
[01:02:46] do you know what I mean yeah yeah I also like brothers and a running theme in our
[01:02:54] in our over probably ten year friendship at this point has been when you do an
[01:02:59] Indian voice you mentioned the bathroom because it's the best word to say
[01:03:03] bathroom I can't wait to go to the bathroom I will be a going to the bathroom
[01:03:09] that should be on your team I know we're going to the bathroom Indian voice
[01:03:13] parentheses I can't wait to go to bed I will take so very many dogs I will
[01:03:21] get so very many pussy oh yeah oh yeah brother it might be time to eat folks
[01:03:31] I love it thank you everyone for listening joy to show you can check it out we got
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[01:03:57] that's the show