Cum Town | Regular | 02/10/2021
[00:00:00] I've never had sex before I've never had sex before
[00:00:06] We'll be just finished watching wanted a great flick if you're just joining us
[00:00:11] If you're just joining us live from New York, it's come down
[00:00:15] It's come down with musical guests with musical guest the FAG
[00:00:27] You're hosting Adam and your host Adam Friedler
[00:00:35] d'aditi d'aditi d'aditi d'aditi d'aditi d'aditi d'aditi d'aditi d'aditi d'aditi d'aditi
[00:00:59] And a 12 year old black girl that has done three tweets
[00:01:32] pictures of my ass my asshole is spread open everyone can see my penis
[00:01:39] It's Saturday night they should let that guy talk for the whole
[00:01:45] The announcing is like this sketch fucking suck this is gay bullshit
[00:01:55] There was maybe one punchline in seven. This is barely an idea
[00:02:04] Oh man, yep, yeah, you know who actually is that guy now?
[00:02:10] It's Darryl Hammond. He does the announcer. He's the announcer. He's he's one of the SNL guys
[00:02:23] He's haunted by demons. I really truly and it's just you would never know until unless you were told yeah
[00:02:37] For money. Yeah, he's paying for posing
[00:02:48] Have you ever been fucked in your ass? I want to have gay sex
[00:03:04] What does the fuck say what what is the what do the five fingers say to the face and that's funny
[00:03:14] We just said it the old switcharoo here. No sweat. I'm a
[00:03:18] Can I just say wanted is quite a it was quite the film
[00:03:22] Well, the only thing that would have made it better is if James McAvoy got pussy got
[00:03:27] Totally I think we can agree that would have been incredible. It was a disappointment
[00:03:32] But I like that I like the overarching message that you can bend a bullet by
[00:03:38] A pussy stop being a bit and you stop taking your pills
[00:03:49] If you want to if you're gay if you want to have sex with me
[00:04:01] How you doing tonight folks? Yeah, we do a beautiful family got their sir. Yes, nice if you want to fuck my mouth
[00:04:21] You know a lot of people think things went down a hill after I was railroaded out of Vegas by the gay community
[00:04:34] You know I'm here at the local Perkins singing every Thursday nights, that's right try to meet low folks
[00:04:41] They don't like me, but you know, I mean you do what you can in life
[00:04:49] Okay, you do what you can and then you get your ass fucked
[00:04:55] This sketch blow this is bullshit. This is fucking garbage
[00:05:02] What about Italian guys and what and they think
[00:05:05] Coke cork soaker. Oh, that was funny. Yeah, it cook a soccer. Yeah, I cook
[00:05:10] I thought she's so good a car. Yeah, that was funny. No, I'm saying that is an original idea
[00:05:15] Yeah, that would be wouldn't be a good original idea. Yeah, it's so good a call an original idea
[00:05:22] Just kidding like we're just kidding around
[00:05:27] Here's a celebrity doing a really shitty impression
[00:05:33] How about something about social distancing
[00:05:46] But yeah wanted you guys want to keep talking about wanted
[00:05:57] Yeah, that's my take we do wanted but it's funny like next week. There's an SNL sketch where
[00:06:02] It's the movie wanted but the guy finds out that he's the subway mascot
[00:06:12] Yeah, that's okay, here's how we're gonna test if they're really if they do a sketch
[00:06:19] You're actually suppose your father was subway Jared. It's a movie from
[00:06:25] 2008 it's a movie from what a coincidence that this came up on this
[00:06:29] These seasons as F's and L 15 years ago
[00:06:36] Incidentally, we wrote a sketch about it these these threads that are we've decided which children should be fucked
[00:06:43] Your father was fucking children out of turn and so we had to stop him
[00:06:55] It was awesome man. It's just nice to see what was that?
[00:07:03] 2007 yeah before Obama had to ruin it. Yeah, but when America was good. That's right
[00:07:10] Right. I just loved the fucking the whole vibe. That was like the first year
[00:07:14] I was like an adult. Oh seven is when I graduated high school. Yeah
[00:07:19] Polly shouts out to the Baltimore Polytechnic Institute
[00:07:26] Had when did you graduate 2005 the class of 05 food boo the food boo oh five
[00:07:32] And why food boo cuz in the food on food boo jerseys it was it there was a low five on us fuck us buck us
[00:07:57] Yeah, the vibes are very you guys go go treat yourself to little wanted there was a yeah
[00:08:03] It was big energy drink energy lot of energy drink a lot of
[00:08:07] Full-body tribals lot of full-body tribals we had common making his mm-hmm
[00:08:13] I'm not gonna say debut, but it was one of his first yeah
[00:08:16] That's what a McAvoy really that I feel like was that is what was that his first big movie?
[00:08:26] I only know about it because there's a sex scene with Keira Knightley that I've watched a bunch of times
[00:08:32] You're gonna lie back in off the cure nightly. It's a good sex scene
[00:08:36] Which she getting fucked she never really did it for me, but the sex scene was how was she getting fucked?
[00:08:41] I don't know library style. It's messed up your masturbating without us. I know I should have I try to tell you guys
[00:08:48] Of all the stuff that I'm not sure what your girlfriend. Hey, it's guys night. Yeah guys night
[00:08:53] We're gonna just play some poker get some cigars. Yeah. We're doing like the whole
[00:08:57] And then we just watch a movie in the garage. We'll just sit around smoking cigars and masturbating
[00:09:02] We have an iPad with the new grounds game where you put clothes on Britney Spears
[00:09:12] Gaming all right we're taking them off and we're smoking cigars out the garage and masturbating a little green cable
[00:09:21] Yeah, just like the fellas are want to do we're gonna we got a we got a emulator game and it's a card game
[00:09:29] It's anime girls that strip you can see them for about four seconds
[00:09:34] Yeah, well beating the game and then right when you see those four seconds. We're beating off
[00:09:39] It's and it's also it's like Nintendo NES graphics. So the titties are square as hell. Yeah, we have we have a TV in the little table
[00:09:47] It's hooked up to a ps2. Yes. It's got Vice City loaded in there. It goes to the strip club
[00:09:56] Be in guys to the Vice City strip club VIP
[00:10:02] That shit was so hot. Yeah, and if you win the whole game you get the fucking remaster baiting the candy sucks from Vice City
[00:10:14] What a great name awesome, you know, it's another really good name a lot of vagina
[00:10:24] I that by the way a little peek behind the curtain folks guys
[00:10:30] What I just described about jacking off to a
[00:10:33] Emulator card Japanese card game. You did that. I used to do that quite a bit
[00:10:37] Well, you didn't tell us about that this when I was like 10 or a little you should a little 12 I
[00:10:45] I think I started jacking off in six. No jacking off and smoking weed were similar categories in my mind
[00:10:51] Cuz I couldn't wait to do it before I did it. I was scared of weed, dude
[00:10:55] No, I remember I would I would like listen to Pink Floyd with my cousins
[00:11:05] Dude I was so scared to smoke weed because there was my friends there was actually a
[00:11:10] Jewish about a white guy that's murdered by the police and you call him Pink Floyd. Oh, okay. All right. I
[00:11:24] I wish I thought I had back when those protests were going on there mad guys are like what about what about Tyler Copeland?
[00:11:30] Like who and then it was like, you know, I get some white guy. They got murdered by the police. Yeah
[00:11:35] I know I love that argument because it's yeah, but you guys also think the police are good
[00:11:40] But you know what's stupid about the argument is like then go do a protest. Yeah, exactly
[00:11:45] You're not protesting. You're just bringing this guy up to say that you shouldn't protest
[00:11:52] Yeah, that's your that's right. It would have been nice for you to have that in your back pocket when those guys said that
[00:11:57] Yeah, the coal whoever they said Pink Floyd
[00:12:00] But I will say I was scared because there was a kid in my in seventh grade. Yeah
[00:12:05] Who was happened to be Jewish and happened to also want it love Pink Floyd and that kind of bullshit. Yeah, it actually looked a lot
[00:12:11] Like you I'm not even good. I'm not a Chinese Chinese guy a Chinese guy that gets killed by
[00:12:18] Yeah, okay. All right. Yeah, right guy. So everybody knows it rhymes with yeah, and then a Chinese guy. No, no, no
[00:12:35] I don't know what you guys are talking about. I don't know if it
[00:12:39] Okay, how about a Chinese psychologist a Chinese psycho in there? Oh, no, no, no
[00:13:08] No, it wasn't I was a go with shrink. It was more no I kind of I kind of got the Freud thing. Yeah
[00:13:17] Yeah, I got it and then but then yeah, the other way. Yep. That would be that would be but I guess shrink also no
[00:13:27] alert you to another about somebody being like I gotta go see a shrink and you're like what the fuck is that and they're like
[00:13:34] You know a shrink and you're like what like Chinese Shrek
[00:13:37] Like an Asian version of Shrek, I don't think that's where the mind
[00:13:51] Shrek shrink yeah, no I get it, but I'm saying I don't think anyone would think
[00:14:03] About a movie about monsters that they have jobs
[00:14:17] Yeah, boo girl boo little girl yes, okay, it would be called Chinese monsters ink
[00:14:24] That's what it would be called that's where my moment
[00:14:38] Yeah, no no no no more of these things security, okay, that one's already ready made for you
[00:14:49] Yeah, we got brings cuz we don't want any bring people breaking breaking into our house we don't want bring people in here
[00:15:14] And now we're doing the brings home security
[00:15:32] Destroy the show from the inside. Yeah Kate McKinnon or whatever. Is that one of the people yeah
[00:15:37] She's still on the show. Hey, is this I just she's got an airport bag and she's like
[00:15:41] Oh, yeah, I had a car rental reservation. They're like, okay
[00:15:46] Well, just keep in mind this isn't enterprise and then behind him. There's a sign it looks like the enterprise logo
[00:15:56] She's like I had the the Kia no I could build
[00:16:06] All right fine you can have a lot one outside
[00:16:08] We don't have yeah, we don't have any of those cause maybe you'd be more interested in going over to
[00:16:22] We're why isn't there one that's national ink
[00:16:27] Like a bink there's not a one am I remembering
[00:16:33] Nice try yeah, they just make up for the skis like what?
[00:16:44] In parentheses under the name by the way
[00:16:55] Boi Yang and he's like you need a car girlfriend
[00:16:58] You need you need to get a car girlfriend
[00:17:08] It'd be funny to get a job on SNL and then just did every in every day in the writers room be like what if
[00:17:14] What if there's like a it's a blockbuster, but there's a gay Chinese guy
[00:17:19] It's a hot air balloons as like a 1800s explore on a hot air balloon and the passenger is a gay Chinese guy
[00:17:35] And he's like how does it stay afloat girlfriend?
[00:17:41] Well only hot air I care about is celebrity gossip
[00:17:57] I like your friend a cis. Yeah, that's the tea
[00:18:13] Oh, you're plumber showing up and he's like yeah, you said you got a problem with your kitchen sink, okay
[00:18:27] No, no, we don't have in fact sir, please go home. We don't have any problems here and end of sketch
[00:18:33] You must have gotten the wrong number. Yeah, everything is working just fine
[00:18:45] Okay, okay, well knock the ball just check that one off
[00:19:08] How hot Angelina Jolie isn't wanted. Oh, I was gonna that's what I was gonna look up. I was gonna look up
[00:19:12] The sex scene that Adam jacked off to oh in a town. I can find it. No
[00:19:18] Maybe it's embarrassing in retrospect. I'm looking it says it was two guys. No, it was a chicken
[00:19:27] Mike you beat off to the sex scene from
[00:19:31] Wait, no movies have real gay sex scenes do they just broke back mountain. I've never seen it
[00:19:38] I've never seen either, but somebody says he spits into his hat hands and then fucks his ass
[00:19:43] I'm the guy in 2021. That's like I'm not watching that gay shit
[00:19:51] No, I'm not watching wait. I'll call me by your name. Yeah, but do they have gay sex in that movie?
[00:19:57] I don't know. It's your favorite movie. They don't have gay. It would be disgusting if they did
[00:20:02] I know they kiss no they yeah, they just sort of hang out on the by the beach together. I
[00:20:10] Watched it. I don't remember them. That's what makes it nice because it's a movie where you can see that cow
[00:20:15] Oh, this could clearly be about normal people
[00:20:18] Yeah, this is about the universality of
[00:20:25] It's not about a couple of whole boys going puk wild each other's asses in Europe
[00:20:30] Which is a plenty it happens quite a bit just taking each is that each other's ass to the fucking state fair
[00:20:40] Hauling them out there and yep and putting a couple ribbons on
[00:20:51] What are you looking up at trying to find the sex in I don't first of all you don't even see breasts
[00:20:56] I just want to make sure that it's hot just so for my boys. He just kind of fucks her up against a
[00:21:05] Yeah, it's it's listen if I was in that situation
[00:21:08] I would fuck a chicken a library hot to pull my cock out of a tuxedo. That's a girl
[00:21:14] Yeah, but I'm not I'm a guy over here, and I want to look at breasts. No, but that's how I aspire to be I aspire to be a
[00:21:21] So what do you jack off to scenarios or do you jack?
[00:21:23] I don't even really jack off. I kind of just watched it and enjoyed it
[00:21:29] Did you get hard I mean the truth is we talk about this all the time jacking off to movies, but most movie sex scenes are like
[00:21:36] 13 seconds long they're a little longer than that
[00:21:39] Can we I mean mo most but they are you would agree I would agree they're shorter than they're incredibly short
[00:21:48] You don't see penetration, but you see you see a couple of bouncing titty which is a big part of what I like the point of
[00:21:59] The titillation I think it is in seeing an actress I couldn't agree it is seeing an actress simulate
[00:22:06] Sex so you could be like that's what it would be like to have sex with point no the point of enjoying
[00:22:11] Nicole Kidman the point of enjoying a movie sex scene is to jack off to completion to it. I
[00:22:18] I went off to a lot of quick sex scenes and I watched them over and over again almost on a loop
[00:22:24] So you got to go in like a jiff kind of I need to see some sliver of skin, you know, I'll admit I
[00:22:42] What is that was a TV show right right?
[00:22:47] Sharky who I've jacked off too many times, but she's a little bit blocked me on Twitter by the way
[00:22:52] What did you say? I don't know Patricia are kept blocked me John Q sack blocked me why I have no
[00:22:57] I'd have never interacted with the price of blockchain shit. Yeah
[00:23:03] Speaking of if you enjoy the blockchain you'll love
[00:23:05] Like a super speciosa. Oh, yeah, yeah, you'll love
[00:23:14] Legal drug you will love it and listen it may all right. It's called get super leaf
[00:23:22] Get super leaf and super speciose get super leaf calm slash comtown is the website go there
[00:23:28] Well, I'm gonna go there with you now. I'm there right now and then we're on the net right now
[00:23:34] Read about super speciosa, which I've been told I'm pronouncing wrong
[00:23:39] And we sent a video to pronounce it correctly and we have not opened that and I've not opened it because first of all
[00:23:47] disabled that's right and that's even even a learning disabled man like making it pure cradam and
[00:23:55] That's right. We are too stupid to pronounce it correctly, but we're not too stupid to order it neither
[00:24:07] Great them. I thought super speciosa's the thing you're pronouncing. Oh, yeah, it is well then let's figure this out
[00:24:14] Our premium botanical space. Yeah, look they accept visa and mastercard
[00:24:18] They got creative power and they got capsules and they sent it to me
[00:24:22] They also I think they have some kind of tincture
[00:24:24] But they sent me the powder and the capsules have done both I kind of prefer the capsules because it sort of regulates
[00:24:31] The guesswork out of it takes a guesswork out of it. You just have a cool like six about 16 of them
[00:24:41] Definitely way more than they recommend
[00:24:44] But I tell you what when I'm doing below and I'm hanging out with my pals
[00:24:49] I'm gonna need even more of more of them and it's totally safe. Yeah
[00:24:58] Of trying the product, but I can imagine it's wonderful. Yeah, it's very from what I understand get super leaped at time
[00:25:13] Slash com town. That's right and it says it says sound it out in the email because I've having trouble with that
[00:25:20] With especiosa you can do it. It's not that hard. You should be able to read for 20% off
[00:25:31] That's a fucking hell of a goddamn steal if you ask me and the brand is super speciosa
[00:25:41] You hear that slash com you know, I saw it was recently popular
[00:25:45] We're just gonna we're not done. No, no, no, no, no, no, but it just has to do okay
[00:25:52] You can sip it you're gonna plug it in and play the video. We're gonna play the video
[00:25:56] All right, let's play that way. We make sure that I'm not if I'm Marley took this every day
[00:26:01] Is that so yeah, that was the leaf that he was talking. He everyone thinks it's marijuana
[00:26:07] Child's Cratto and the mother's pussy you can see it
[00:26:15] And the child sees their mother's pussy and the child then is upset
[00:26:23] By the american creative association as a gmp qualified vendor that customers can trust. That's awesome
[00:26:30] This is cool. We could just play video creative advocates deserve transparency
[00:26:33] So we're stepping up to the plate. I love this as we raise the bar for quality in the creative community
[00:26:39] I did the public about this this guy's I like the car. This guy's making tea. Yeah, yes
[00:26:44] Oh, so that's something that seems like the pussy way to do it. Yeah, I just put it in water and drink it
[00:26:50] Yeah, why don't you put on your sweater and miss it? We miss a part where he says it
[00:26:56] The kids for the exact batch they're holding in their hands
[00:26:58] This is a really big deal because a lot of creative products on the market are not up to par
[00:27:05] Super speciosa is proud. I was saying it right. You were saying right the whole time
[00:27:11] That's all right email them back and say do not probably it's probably you know, it's probably an Italian guy
[00:27:16] It's but it's but you gotta do it fucking come on
[00:27:26] I wanted a specialist kind of push you got birthday pussy pal
[00:27:30] Um, all right. So yeah, so let's let me just let's go back here. You know, it's my birthday soon. Mm-hmm
[00:27:40] Yeah, so anyways this shit is your friends are this shit
[00:27:45] This shit ships to all the fuck every state every fucking state every state import a Rico. It's good shit
[00:27:56] It's very helpful. It's really helpful and you're not
[00:28:01] Due to FDA regulations. We are not legally permitted to state that it is helpful for the treatment of any diseases and conditions
[00:28:14] The FDA is announced the great on this the only cure for downs
[00:28:19] I'm actually looking at the paper nake. It looks like you put that in with your own hand
[00:28:29] 2020 has been a rough year in crayden help
[00:28:33] Yeah, he's he's trying to sneeze out of his ass
[00:28:36] No, I'm just fucking getting a little ab workout in the middle of the recording
[00:28:39] They don't adulterate concentrate or enhance their product in any way
[00:28:43] It's straight from the mother guy is pussy hole straight from mother of the earth did it's with mother
[00:28:48] Mm-hmm. It's like drinking kombucha, but for your for drugs. Yep. Mm-hmm. Um
[00:28:55] Super special. It's like drinking kombucha, but for drugs
[00:29:00] Beautiful turn of free. Honestly, I would love I would I would want to try to put some of that in
[00:29:05] Some actually that food disgusting. Yeah, no you don't want that kombucha is probably just barely hanging on anyway
[00:29:10] Absolutely. That is the one thing about this crayden shit is you got it. Don't try to get fancy with it
[00:29:15] It tastes like dog shit. Go put the fuck down and get a little or get the capsules because then it's like yeah
[00:29:21] Then it's like you're taking your vitamins. Yeah
[00:29:25] It's healthy you take that a flint stones kids what separates them from their competitors
[00:29:31] Is it most crayden brands are manufactured in really poor condition some assholes garage?
[00:29:37] Sometimes nasty our home-based businesses selling products out of their garage like amazon
[00:29:45] Amazon started that way. Yeah, no Jeff Bezos is jacked
[00:29:49] He fucking stepped down the CEO. I know and they put they posted some picture of me. He looks like fucking uh
[00:29:56] Hunter s Thompson should we fucking not we shouldn't but
[00:30:00] Most great pathetic most ceremony market shoot him in the head has potentially unsafe levels of bacteria because it is sourced from indonesia
[00:30:07] And we all know about those dirty indonesians
[00:30:10] Third world country without modern food is that what yeah, it says that works coming
[00:30:15] Well, it's as most most of it is sourced in indonesia third world country without modern food safety standards. Oh, that's true
[00:30:22] Oh the other the competitors. Yeah, they use dirty indonesians
[00:30:34] Things like salmonella E. coli mold or common. That's right, but they pasteurize their cratum
[00:30:40] Which means they they fill it with milk. I think it's yeah
[00:30:44] They put it in a fucking tub of milk boil it and they boil the milk and then they put it so they sift it
[00:30:48] And they make the american cratum association standards for quality
[00:30:52] Which you know is a very serious organization. They're passionate about what they do folks just like
[00:30:57] If anybody knows passion, it's me. Imagine someone is passionate about the show as I am
[00:31:11] We give a fuck about doing this part. All right, so you know it's good. It's good and safe
[00:31:19] Definitely wouldn't cut corner. Can you imagine if this podcast was something you had to eat
[00:31:28] If you had to put it in your body. Yeah, figure out how to do that dude
[00:31:31] As a come town suppository, and you're not allowed to sue us for side effects ready. Here's what it is
[00:31:41] It's a suppository of vitamin shaped exactly like our dicks
[00:31:44] This shit is good if you're trying to get off a dope apparently you don't want to take
[00:31:49] It's a big suboxone or methadone. This is on this is all from nakes personal opinions by the way
[00:31:55] This is not let me make something very clear super specioso is not paying us to it's get say
[00:32:01] Yeah, that's not from the per leaf dot com slash comtown
[00:32:05] Get super leaf dot com is not paying us to say that you can kick hair
[00:32:10] If you or anyone on your team has any interest you can skim through this presentation recently given by dr
[00:32:16] McCurdy who's a leading creative researcher from the university of florida
[00:32:23] And skaters like you know i'm a professor and like seeing how many titties you can fuck him. Yeah, basically
[00:32:28] Yeah, gainsville, baby. He's been granted funds from needa at the billy donne of direction congress
[00:32:36] Okay, so get super leaf dot com slash com town or for 20% off your order
[00:32:41] Beautiful go do that you fucking yeah, you're definitely gonna want to do that. Mm-hmm
[00:32:48] Or you're out of that you're out of your off the team you're off the fucking squad
[00:32:52] And go and by the way once do these fucking checks it do you see dave portanoi lost $700,000?
[00:32:58] I thought he said he was gonna lose 2 million. He said he lost 700,000 on game stop
[00:33:02] Well, he's a friend of the show was he holding the line
[00:33:06] Was the portanoi holding the line. Yeah, yeah, he's saving small business
[00:33:10] I'm buying these stocks. I'm saving the small business dollars
[00:33:15] I don't understand your port. No, I'm pressing
[00:33:16] He's more boss than he's a boss more boss sounds like that. It's like a
[00:33:21] I don't think he's more boss. He's from he sounds like a boss. I know he is not not
[00:33:27] I mean, I haven't heard him talk to I'll be honest. I have to turn him talk like well when he speaks. I listen
[00:33:36] I'm coming for you. I'm listening to his videos
[00:33:39] One of these days I'll sound exactly like you and it slides out dude
[00:33:42] I'm calling into your company. I'll be like some in the morning to my bank account. Dude. That's a great idea
[00:33:54] Doing a wire the name on the account is Adam Friedlin
[00:34:01] He's my new accountant he's my accountant your son at the hem and at any point you figure out the if you know
[00:34:09] But in this event that it's ever not me
[00:34:13] Yeah, make sure you know Adam Friedlin is the one that
[00:34:21] He's very closely associated with it's entirely him
[00:34:29] Oh fuck yeah, that'd be awesome dude call in and make make everyone who subscribes to bar stool subscribe to us instead
[00:34:38] Using yeah, how about jar jar stool jar jar
[00:34:48] Jar jar stool banks that's really about Asian jar jar
[00:34:57] Questions miss a miss a love a smoke show of the weeds
[00:35:02] Jar jar bank. He's a love taking the cant lose parlay
[00:35:06] Jar jar bank some security. That's good. There you go. But don't try and backdoor into the other thing again backdoor
[00:35:16] I did hear that there's a beef brewing between
[00:35:19] I don't want to start shit, but I heard that bro. I heard that gas digital and bar stool sports
[00:35:26] Oh, no, I heard that they're gonna fight is there a fight up? I don't know. That's just what I heard. What are they?
[00:35:31] Beefing about I don't know I heard they were talking smack. I don't know. My name is Lois J. Gomez
[00:35:38] I'm calling in the bar stool to get the bank account
[00:35:43] Hey doggy, it's me. Hey, it's the press. It's me Lois
[00:35:47] Can I get the bank account information?
[00:36:00] part of Bank of America. My name is uh fucking loose j gomez
[00:36:08] What you ever want of me has an account listen, I'm in the middle of a jam and I need I need my bank account information so I can
[00:36:29] Give all my cash to me. Just tell me my information. So they're a real tight spot
[00:36:37] Spot he would say it's that spot. Yeah, there's more of that. I've got I'm having a spot of gay sex
[00:36:54] Porno I'm gave a porno. I'm gay for a gay for gay porno here
[00:37:00] Okay, porno is so thrown the oh every once in a while feels really good porno
[00:37:08] It feels good because it's good to call people homo. You think yeah, homo call people home
[00:37:14] I think it seems like a throw back. No, I think homo and porno both happen to
[00:37:22] Have the advantage of ending in the oh the oh is the powerful part thing
[00:37:27] Yeah, you know, I think I don't think I don't think the oh derives its power from homo
[00:37:32] I think they're very quite the contrary. It's the opposite
[00:37:35] You said so any word and any that ends in that kind of oh like daddy. Oh daddy. Oh is better than daddy
[00:37:42] Yeah, that's slo mo is a hilarious if you want to make fun of a jewish guy pick that name because it's got the oh and it sounds stupid
[00:37:50] What else is the pretty cool steve oh from jack steve oh rules
[00:37:54] Yeah, there's no way you can't like a guy there's any that ends in a hardo is a great fun
[00:37:59] Yeah, Australian hardo Australians in canadian fuck oh Australians and canadian's love that and yeah, yeah, yeah
[00:38:05] And then and they added oh it's a slayer dumb shit in Australia
[00:38:09] But like they call they added like a Y to the end of every they shorten that Y
[00:38:16] You know yeah, they use my phony that's right. Yeah, they call refugees refos
[00:38:31] You just got us banned in Australia. All right
[00:38:34] See if I can talk to you. How about this now Australia's banned from the United States. Oh take that you fuck take that
[00:38:41] You know the thanks for supporting us in the Iraq war you fucking dumbasses. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah went to a record
[00:38:49] Did some war crime owes no, you know they named the Iraqis
[00:39:09] Mozzarri duchios we did a sport we just we did heaps ethnic cleansing. I'm having a homo in me us
[00:39:15] I'm having a homo. Oh, I had a really good homo together
[00:39:23] All right, I did heep home. Oh man even heaps gay sex. It's like taking a feta out of the pillow guys
[00:39:32] Once yeah, once you pop is off. I find a man's penis is like you know
[00:39:37] Gasex is kind of like Pringles once you shove the can in your ass
[00:39:43] So I'm just shove other things in there
[00:39:46] Fucking fit into our Pringles can in my ass who knows it was next
[00:39:56] So we should just we should just move to Australia that do the show
[00:40:01] Because we're more popular over there, but then fake the accent immediately right?
[00:40:06] Like no, we're just trying to because when we come to a country we learn the language
[00:40:22] I'm saying when we're in Australia. We're saying this
[00:40:25] Because then it won't be racist because we'll be all right
[00:40:30] Yes, but there's no way it could be interpreted as racist because it's like I don't know. I don't know any better
[00:40:35] I don't I don't live in America. Yes, but we're from America. No, we're Australia now. Hey is different
[00:40:43] So I'm allowed to hate people from vericruz
[00:40:48] No, is it that hard to learn English? I did it. I learned Australian. I learned English
[00:41:00] Without us who I picked up the language
[00:41:09] People ain't like a Guatemalan guy that taught himself English by watching like
[00:41:19] Well, he had masterpiece theater on DVD. Well, hello. Yeah, he's like good evening
[00:41:25] Yeah, good evening. Well, these are the Tokyo. Do you have any denim jackets with Winnie the Pooh?
[00:41:34] Do you happen to have a t-shirt from the thrift store that says princess?
[00:41:44] Yeah, this is a vest of the cat dressed like a cholo
[00:41:48] I was wondering if you had an early 2000s skateboarding back back that I could fit a bottle of Mickey's it
[00:42:05] Uh, well, if you like getting trash off mikies in the Home Depot parking lot, you're gonna love
[00:42:11] What? Manscaped man, you're gonna love shaving your cock shaving your cock with a man's
[00:42:24] It's a great product a lawnmower 2.0. It's got a light you tell them hey fellas
[00:42:30] We're in the thick of winter and the storms are brewing actually they we shoot on their copy
[00:42:34] But they're the only ones that actually put effort they do the best job. I think yeah, it looks like one to three inches are in the forecast
[00:42:40] So you know what that means stuff. Yeah, Adam's about the show says peanut
[00:42:56] It looks like one to three inches are in the forecast you trim that hibernation bush that's taking place in your pants
[00:43:02] Luckily our partners in manscaped specialized in products to make sure you're walking around town with beautiful snowballs
[00:43:10] Escaping provide you the best tools for your grooming experience offering precision engineered tools for your family jewels. Mm-hmm. Yes, man that rhymed
[00:43:21] I have to tell a funny grooming story one time I cut my penis and balls off
[00:43:28] Well, yeah, I was using a straight as he was using I
[00:43:32] I was in the blackout basement in Bergheim. I was shaving I was shaving and showing my son how to shave a lot of the opening scene in gangs of
[00:43:43] And I cut my penis and balls off before the big neighborhood fight with the native is
[00:43:47] That sucks. And my son went to clean off the blade and I said no son
[00:43:59] Long more 3.0 is the best hygiene tool for the modern man's waterproof. It's got a ceramic blade and advanced skin safe technology
[00:44:08] Fit your snack. Oh, you don't snap you will not snag. There'll be no snagging
[00:44:14] No snack guarantee you can shave in the shower or even in the jacuzzi. I don't know. It's okay. Damn. That's wild
[00:44:20] The most shaded waterproof is like water resistant. You can't know this is they have NASA people working on this
[00:44:27] You can shave and space. This is the way Aquaman shapes his cock man. It's gave Jason
[00:44:32] Jason mo is in a fucking hot tub shaving his dick while Lenny Kravitz watches and he's like yeah
[00:44:37] That's perfect for my ex-wife and her current wife the man skate performance package is the best buy of 2021
[00:44:43] Comes with the new and improved lawn mower 3.0 weed whacker
[00:44:47] You're a nose hair trimmer and performance boxer briefs in the travel bag. Wow
[00:44:53] As somebody who got all that stuff. I'm saying it's really good
[00:44:58] I like the travel you notice how nasty nose and ear hair is
[00:45:02] 79% partner has pulled admitted that long nose hair is a major turnoff
[00:45:07] I think I have that might as well use this
[00:45:09] Tools is the do job. The bundle also comes with the crop preserver
[00:45:14] Baldi odorant and crop reviver ball toner. Wow
[00:45:19] The crop you know talcum powder was given bitches of pussy cancer. Are you serious?
[00:45:23] Yeah, they're rubbing it in breast cancer too. I think by putting it in your pussy
[00:45:26] But putting it on your underarms and your pussy. Interesting
[00:45:31] You can probably use this shit on your pussy also
[00:45:34] Yeah, you can't the name fool you some of you. Yeah, manscapes not all men have cocks some of them have maybe yeah
[00:45:40] Some of our folks out there like Elliot
[00:45:42] What's your face? What's his face? Yeah, what's this page?
[00:45:48] Elliot pages a man could use some of these this powder on his pussy. Yeah on his pea
[00:45:55] Man if he decides to have a cock you can use it on his cock. If he keeps his pussy
[00:46:01] He can put it on his pussy. I'd say dirt
[00:46:05] Doyle what's the male? Sadir. Sadir. Sadir. Yeah, she's a Muslim
[00:46:11] He's a Muslim man now. He's a bold Muslim. You can use it on your penis or whatever you're calling your shit
[00:46:20] The crop observers an anti-chafing bald deodorant will make your balls smell nice and make you feel like your testes
[00:46:26] Are walking in a winter wonderland all of the crop survivors a spray on toner for your balls
[00:46:32] It's made with soothing aloe and witch hazel extracts
[00:46:35] They'll make your balls look up at you and say thanks. That's funny
[00:46:45] Get 20% off plus free shipping with the code
[00:46:51] I'm imagining two of the like big guy to merge us because the copy it's just says use promo code code
[00:46:58] So it's got to be promo code com town or com town 20. Yeah, I'm trying both of them
[00:47:04] So let me just go see the end of it. Yeah, why you do that? Well, I think about my balls looking up at me and go. Thank you
[00:47:11] Just imagine the the the like the emoji that girls use
[00:47:15] With their eyes big where I guess a gay man would use a bottom would use yeah, the eyes of the big eyes
[00:47:22] Like watery. Oh, yeah, imagine if your balls my balls sound like 1800s British
[00:47:33] The code is com town folks. That's the code. So go to manscape.pussy slash
[00:47:42] You're probably gonna come down promo code com penis
[00:47:47] Promo code suck me off promo code give me head promo code penis my ass give me head chief
[00:47:55] You gotta ask yourself one question. Are you gay?
[00:48:13] He's heating up. Where's the cash mother give us the cash
[00:48:17] My husband's gonna be home any minute and he's gay
[00:48:22] I went out there was only for a while and burned out a subcock
[00:48:29] Damn, I'm gonna fucking watch death wish again soon watch all five
[00:48:33] I might I might with the hard-ass prickadale dude. I'm I'm getting tired of doing anything all I want to do is watch four movies a day
[00:48:40] Yeah, yeah, honestly find a nice pattern and get a little workout in exactly my days. I just want to wake up do some fucking yoga
[00:48:49] Maybe do a little workout go on a nice long walk come back
[00:48:52] I wake up I wake up. I hit the corner store. I get some cat food for the cat coffee for myself
[00:49:00] Come home feed the cat cold shower then I go buy a cigarette at the other the fucking deli
[00:49:06] It's like it's cool six blocks away get a couple steps in yeah, I have my morning cigarette my coffee
[00:49:13] Love that and then then I go back to sleep
[00:49:15] You know he's wake up drink a couple bunch of night quill keep past just keep yourself asleep
[00:49:24] Yeah, then it's 7 a.m. Next day wake up little cup coffee feed the cat
[00:49:32] Force your body down. Yeah, no matter what it's telling you
[00:49:36] Mm-hmm. Yeah, dude. Give myself put down like a dog. Oh, like a dirty little dickless dog
[00:49:47] The dirty little dickless dog all this guy is a dick hole. Do you have any mock echo shoes?
[00:49:58] Interruption I was wondering if you had any mock echo shoes with the springy shoe laces
[00:50:09] Oh fuck man, do you happen to have an adjustable baseball cap that was promotional material for the movie cause three
[00:50:51] Yes, the cheapest, most toxic one there is.
[00:51:00] If you please hurry up, I have to go eat crab legs
[00:51:03] with my family at a Chinese buffet after this.
[00:51:18] a competition show that's for the best laborer.
[00:51:26] No, but it's all like to see who does the best to do.
[00:51:33] We're outside the Home Depot in Santa Cruz.
[00:51:37] And today we're talking to Miguel and Juan Carlos.
[00:51:41] And there, squaring up to see who can tape the most drywall
[00:51:51] And the guy here, he's like still eating the joint compound.
[00:51:55] And he's like, that's a rock star bite right there.
[00:51:59] Daddy, that is hit that one directly out of the park.
[00:52:04] God, I love when the guy calls things out of bounds.
[00:52:18] I want to be friends with Guy Fieri so bad.
[00:52:28] Well, if you watch Diners, Drive-ins, and Dobs,
[00:52:30] there's times when clearly he's working to somebody
[00:52:34] And the cuts will be kind of awkward and quick.
[00:52:48] He has a team that goes, does everything ahead of time.
[00:53:00] He really had it made was the man versus food guy.
[00:53:06] It's like, watch this man kill himself.
[00:53:11] But I think he had an health problem for him.
[00:53:13] Yeah, the first episode, it was an actual challenge
[00:53:17] And then after that, he would go places.
[00:53:19] And then it'd be like, I'm going to drink 37 milkshakes
[00:53:23] And they're like, yeah, that's not a thing we offer.
[00:53:29] I think I said this before, but he blocked
[00:53:34] Because Eldus kept asking what his shits look like.
[00:53:48] Hey, Adam, can I see your ass in balls?
[00:53:56] Oh, the man versus food guy's going to beat the mall.
[00:54:03] And he's letting people suck his cock, and I'm missing it.
[00:54:07] Do you have your picture on the wall of a place?
[00:54:11] Have you ever, like, done the challenge at a place?
[00:54:14] I have pictures on the wall of the Bronx Zoo, because they ate all the burritos.
[00:54:20] They kept pot, I thought they were churros.
[00:54:30] I think it's somewhere in, like, White Marsh, Maryland, or...
[00:54:35] There's a Cheat Burger Cheat Burger chain.
[00:54:37] What is Cheat Burger Cheat Burger again?
[00:54:39] It sounds like a cheeseburger restaurant.
[00:54:42] It's a chain of restaurants that they stole it from, like, an SNL bit from, like, the 70s.
[00:54:48] Cheat Burger Cheat Burger Cheat Burger?
[00:54:51] How does it feel to get stolen from SNL?
[00:54:55] And that's why SNL never steals anything from any of you.
[00:54:58] But it was a burger restaurant, and they offered some kind of, like, five pound burger
[00:55:05] You know your boy got on that wall in college, no problem.
[00:55:14] It was some big burger, but I was fucking fed.
[00:55:27] A double quarter pounder is a half pounder.
[00:55:28] Because here's the thing, it's the weight before they cook it.
[00:55:35] That's at least four and a half pounds.
[00:55:40] The quarter pounder is as little as fuck.
[00:55:43] We should get in the car and drive to Fudge Rockers after this.
[00:55:59] Well, you would have to drive out the jersey.
[00:56:01] Yeah, for I love the jersey, you go to Fudge Rockers.
[00:56:06] Thank God fucking Cuomo, dude, has solved things.
[00:56:10] Thank God, now we get to open up the fucking restaurants just because the numbers are going
[00:56:19] When my penis is hard, you have to give me the card to suck me.
[00:56:29] When my penis is hard, you give me the card.
[00:56:33] Folks, I just tell you what happens when my dick is hard, indoor dining is allowed.
[00:56:41] When it's soft, we're closing it down again.
[00:56:46] Remember, we're going to keep doing the press conferences every day, even though the virus
[00:56:57] We've been trying to, we got to switch and the team has been trying to create an me for
[00:57:04] It's very difficult because there's no way to put nipple piercings on the little guy and
[00:57:18] And I thought, I said, I'm not pissed, but I'm going to be if my little guy keeps looking
[00:57:26] I'm not pissed now, but if we don't piss his nipples, I will be.
[00:57:34] You should make him look cute with pierced nipples and he's smiling.
[00:57:39] And anyone who beats me and we bowling is fired.
[00:57:42] And we're going to hold them down and give them 100 doses of the vaccine at once.
[00:57:50] So it kills them and then not allowed to sue anybody.
[00:57:55] Dude, I heard that if you're obese, you might be able to get the vaccine.
[00:58:01] Are you going to go to the top of the list?
[00:58:04] I don't have it, but maybe I'm not getting the vaccine.
[00:58:08] Our vice president said you shouldn't get the vaccine if it came out during the trumpet
[00:58:16] She said, I will not get any vaccine put out by this administration.
[00:58:42] But this time, this time around, this time, baby, I will listen to Kamala.
[00:59:11] Mayo asked Joe's taking credit for all her good ideas.
[00:59:19] And number two, it's about time when it was Mars.
[00:59:23] One of the least popular politicians in the world got a bunch of power.
[00:59:32] Is there a way we can make money off of Joe Biden dying and her becoming the president?
[00:59:40] Well, let's save that for next week's free episode.
[00:59:58] It's good to see you again, my home, your brother's.
[01:00:04] And he learned in English from a masterpiece theater.
[01:00:10] I saw his speed later, but it's because he only watches a period pieces.
[01:00:31] Which one of you 411 chaps sucked my penis?
[01:00:34] Yeah, I'm going to have to go out there and hit those guys up.
[01:00:40] Well, no, just to see if I can make any of them watch Masterpiece here.
[01:00:51] If you can make one, it would be pretty good.
[01:00:53] And if you want a T-shirt, you can go to come.town.
[01:01:03] I'm selling the official come down calendar, which is actually just my calendar.
[01:01:12] It's $10 off, which is close to 50% off.
[01:01:24] And I'm trying to cook up some new shirts, but I also have shirts over at Stavi.biz trying
[01:01:29] to cook up some fun new designs for the new year.
[01:01:33] And I think that's, oh, go to the Patreon sign up, patreon.com slash a come town.