Cum Town | Regular | 02/17/2021
[00:01:13] You know, I take all my bank holidays off just like I take the other six days of the week off
[00:01:34] I can't wait till the summer time, dude.
[00:01:47] No, I'm not a fucking Catholic, motherfucker.
[00:01:50] I'm just saying it's just having more despacito style style for this thing.
[00:02:09] What do you have to walk around with an incense ball?
[00:02:12] No, first of all, they stole that from us too.
[00:02:14] But no, I thought that's Eastern Orthodox.
[00:02:19] Dude, I love the night at the Roxbury's, a kid.
[00:02:39] It's the perfect joke for the little boys who don't understand this guy who's copying me.
[00:02:44] It's true because those characters are little boys.
[00:02:49] They put a woman, they sandwich a woman, they just hump her back and forth.
[00:02:58] Me and my boys used to do that at the speaking of Greek Orthodox, the Goya Greek Orthodox
[00:03:12] But the rest of it was you didn't have the guts to do it.
[00:03:14] I couldn't have the guts to rub your little penis on a girl.
[00:03:27] And we don't have any of that in our gene pool.
[00:03:33] Spartans used to fucking punt retarded babies.
[00:03:51] They were cruel to fucking people with birth defects and they were...
[00:03:57] Whereas Athenians, you couldn't exactly call them rape.
[00:04:01] It was more sexual coercion of children than rape.
[00:04:05] You teach them fucking geometry and philosophy and shit.
[00:04:21] It's pretty funny that they figured out a way.
[00:04:24] To be homophobic even though it was my dad.
[00:04:26] I'm a man, but man, I miss being little.
[00:04:33] He called me and he's sucking on his nuts while he was asleep.
[00:04:43] I had to go to school with in course class.
[00:04:47] Everybody's laughing at me because my vocal chords was bruised.
[00:04:54] Oh, no, I'm first generation Taiwanese.
[00:05:04] My name is presidential candidate Andrew Yang.
[00:05:12] That's the thing I love about New York going into Burday.
[00:05:37] Look, I've got two things you need to know about me.
[00:05:42] I'm from Taiwan and I'm having a stroke.
[00:05:57] But we're going to have a purplers and it's going to be a girl.
[00:06:09] Mr. Yang, the question was about school vouchers.
[00:06:12] The vouchers will be redeemed for Bitcoin.
[00:06:16] He said, we don't need no damn schools if you just get the kids crypto current.
[00:06:20] Currency, they got cryptocurrency, but they ain't got no blood row currency.
[00:06:25] That's the problem is they ain't no balance to it.
[00:06:27] There needs to be more violence in the crypto market.
[00:06:30] Look, a lot of people, they don't trust me because they know I said to Ian, we're
[00:06:34] throughout my, throughout my teen years, but you have to understand that was an act of
[00:06:39] That makes him the most, most New York candidate possible if he has a Chinese teenager.
[00:06:47] That's, there were a few queens is crawling with those guys.
[00:06:50] Have you taken the subway, taking the seven?
[00:07:01] You know, I'm seeing on Chinese or from flourishing.
[00:07:07] Cause there's seven letters you say when you want to train.
[00:07:10] No, I don't think that's why they call it that.
[00:07:15] It's the seven train is named after the letters and the N word.
[00:07:36] I got a stretch limousine Toyota Avalon with N-I-G-A-F-A-G and a license for a license plate.
[00:07:43] Well, that's pretty, that's bad for the city.
[00:07:49] We got, look, you know how they got moon roofs?
[00:07:53] And then there's a shark tank above it.
[00:07:56] When you look it up, you just see a shorks.
[00:08:01] And you would drive around the avenues, rubbing down a city in the avenues and you looking
[00:08:05] up a shorks, seating all the buildings.
[00:08:09] And that's why that's called the dollar bill money mentality.
[00:08:30] So it's high, but does that give you enough space to sit if you're under the aquarium?
[00:08:34] Because I don't think you understand what we're seeing.
[00:08:36] I think you haven't ever curved a handsh
[00:08:37] I'm having a hard time comprehending the layout of this limousine.
[00:08:46] It doesn't make the actual inside the car.
[00:08:51] But the car would be sitting in the middle of the tires.
[00:09:01] And the tires dragged the car along the ground.
[00:09:09] I'm having even a harder time understanding now.
[00:09:11] They got like a train plow on the front.
[00:09:26] I was the first in our GFA G on the block.
[00:09:44] So pardon me if I'm calling my friends in our GFA Gs.
[00:09:49] I have a question just to change tracks.
[00:09:51] But so I was the first person to be destroying the streets with a bunch of sharks on top
[00:09:58] And then the show came out and I said, I said, I said, whoa.
[00:10:08] So candidate, yeah, there's been a lot of.
[00:10:10] I see nothing like that in the hot pot.
[00:10:16] There's been a lot of anti-Chinese and Asian sentiment after the coronavirus, which as
[00:10:26] There's been there's a virus that came from Gu Han in China.
[00:10:31] Anyway, so we're trying to do his thing about like eBay, but for pussy.
[00:10:37] I'm probably trying to be a search worker right now, but if you're trying to be a search
[00:10:55] worker and you ain't got your shit, sir, then you went for a suck.
[00:11:03] You know, they'd be thinking that people outside in New York be thinking that's for
[00:11:09] But you know, the reality is it increases the sensation.
[00:11:18] Andrew Yang, everyone who is from Baltimore in Oakland, it sounds like at the same time.
[00:11:28] Look, you got a hat on and you go outside.
[00:11:38] So the wind is but you take the hat off and now you got pussy all over your motherfucking
[00:11:45] Pussy dripping down, but I thought your shirt just sounds awesome.
[00:11:49] That's why I want to take it a step further.
[00:11:51] I'm trying to get all the skin taken off my penis and turf.
[00:12:05] Some have said, look, somebody sent me some literature on the airship.
[00:12:14] You could even say my position has become circumcised.
[00:12:19] It's been turned inside her because of the metaphor of a hat on your head and wind being
[00:12:28] I'm not sure what it was about it because that's how, you know, Jews be doing that shit
[00:12:30] with everything, you know, you wear a hat, the hard effect that you're going bald.
[00:12:36] And so the Jews said, why don't we just cut it down to the part where you're actually
[00:12:41] And then we can get when we can feel all that pussy wind on our hair on our hair.
[00:12:57] Yeah, because pussy just can be corrosive to the skin.
[00:13:00] And they're just doing the same shit with the cocks.
[00:13:05] You've honestly, Mr. Yang, you have turned my, you got my, my turn me around on that.
[00:13:09] Yeah, I know we're supposed to be the moderators and be objective, but between eBay for pussy
[00:13:14] and getting pussy, you had me there as well.
[00:13:20] Now what about the issue of chamel estate?
[00:13:36] We got to bring my, my move on, please.
[00:13:49] I'm just, you know, my shit blowing up.
[00:13:50] I'm trying to, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm going to be trying to interrupt.
[00:13:55] That's just a, that's not, what do you mean Mr. Kamala?
[00:13:59] I'm just, I'm just trying to, uh, you know, my shit be blown up, but it's, it's, it's
[00:14:05] Mr. Kamala in real life is a Jewish guy.
[00:14:13] I'm on a diverse stage and we're debating and I'm interrupting somebody's answer about
[00:14:38] And his bitches that's got a pussy whore from my furnace.
[00:14:42] That might not sure where we're swimming.
[00:14:50] Where did you pick this accent up from exactly?
[00:15:04] Yeah, the doctor says it's a brain cancer.
[00:15:09] Doctor says I got a benign tumor that's grown to half the size of Moscow.
[00:15:18] How about you suck this benign in a half?
[00:15:26] But he's got problems with redistricting.
[00:15:35] I'll bring it back bananas and pajamas.
[00:15:36] But this time you can see the syrup size.
[00:15:43] The top of the banana had been peeled down.
[00:15:46] They're all the, you're telling me you're revealing that the bananas and pajamas are
[00:15:49] going to be too cocks, too giant cocks, no they're bananas.
[00:15:58] Do you think some people might think what you're saying?
[00:16:01] So like, if I just said, Oh, it's about a polar express.
[00:16:04] It's about a train that goes with a pole.
[00:16:08] But it, when you say the train is actually about like the mentality of lifestyles.
[00:16:14] Are you a big Roberts and Mac, this animation fin?
[00:16:20] Dollar bill cash money mentality of course.
[00:16:24] It's about executive styles of life man.
[00:16:26] Between the dollar bill cash money mentality
[00:16:29] and being Chinese and saying the N word,
[00:16:49] Yeah, I said, carve my shit up so it looks like my dick is like,
[00:16:55] You want your penis shins smirking size.
[00:16:58] You want your penis to look like he's ledger
[00:17:02] So the lid, the hole, the slit, it's got one.
[00:17:04] It's like the cheeks coming up on one side.
[00:17:09] Oh, and that way you'll come in sort of a crescent moon shape.
[00:17:12] Again, I got on the side like a shark mouth tattoo.
[00:17:21] As it ain't over till the fat lady turns.
[00:17:30] The fat bitch is just, she's something bitches.
[00:17:34] Because back in the day, in the factory,
[00:17:36] they used to hire a fat bitch to sing at the end of the day.
[00:17:39] That's where that, that's when it was quitting time.
[00:17:42] That's where that expression comes from.
[00:17:44] The expression because it was the boss's wife.
[00:17:49] I'm thinking about becoming like a celebrity
[00:17:53] And she would try and everybody would be like,
[00:17:57] This fat bitch ain't nobody trying to fuck her ass.
[00:18:01] She pretends she talented instead of just,
[00:18:08] Once again, you've gone over your time by 45 minutes.
[00:18:15] The most important takeaway, I invented street sharks.
[00:18:21] Damn, it would be awesome if that's what Andrew Yang sounded
[00:18:27] I remember when Andrew Yang was first running
[00:18:29] and I did a Chinese voice and you were like,
[00:18:37] Nick was doing his hardcore Chinese accent.
[00:18:44] You guys are racist for thinking that, not me.
[00:18:46] I'm the kind of guy that thinks America's
[00:18:48] ready for a guy that talks like that to be president.
[00:18:58] that I'm giving America the benefit of the doubt.
[00:19:05] Who the fuck else is running for mayor?
[00:19:27] You're gonna suck, suck, suck into my day.
[00:19:31] Sometimes if I fart and it's like a long squeaky one,
[00:19:47] They hit something in that tenor a couple times in the song.
[00:20:02] I thought it was like a Tasmanian devil type of thing.
[00:20:12] Isn't this sound like a fur-y type of Wolverine type of thing?
[00:20:15] You never watched Legends of the Hidden Temple?
[00:20:19] I guess now that you're saying that I am thinking of a Wolverine.
[00:20:24] It was something in between Wolverine and like Badger.
[00:20:30] It was a skinnitus-manian devil type of thing.
[00:20:38] You don't remember Legends of the Hidden Temple?
[00:20:45] I did watch that, but I was not paying attention.
[00:20:46] I was accusing my cat of watching baby shows while I was gone and that was making me laugh.
[00:20:52] Just watching fucking Arthur and Barney in here.
[00:21:03] You're like, because you watch baby shows.
[00:21:08] And the cat's not even paying attention.
[00:21:18] I got to say, I think it should be an animal with fur.
[00:21:25] One of those, there was like one of those medical mystery shows where they like somebody's like
[00:21:30] all fucked up and there was some guy that went to the hospital.
[00:21:33] They couldn't figure out what was wrong with him.
[00:21:34] It took like two days to figure out that he had just like eaten a Barracuda that he caught.
[00:21:43] They're like, is there anything like, I don't know what it could be.
[00:21:46] And he's like, well, I guess I ate this weird fish.
[00:21:51] I think there's a lot of shit you're not supposed to just eat.
[00:21:59] Obviously, if it got that powerful, you have nature decided that it is to be respected.
[00:22:04] And there's nothing more delicious than fucking forbidden flesh.
[00:22:07] Yeah, they don't have predators because they.
[00:22:19] Instead of doing the only thing I did while I was there, which is buy Kit Kats that I thought
[00:22:21] were a special in Japan, but it turns out they sell them.
[00:22:27] No, no, the green tea ones are here, but there are plenty of ones you can only get in Japan.
[00:22:37] We're going to we're going to bring you over all the.
[00:22:38] I mean, I suppose you could order them off the end is brought to you by bluetooth.com.
[00:22:43] Let me make sure it's brought to you because I got to start doing this by the yeah.
[00:22:48] This shit is brought to you by motherfucking bluetooth.com.
[00:22:58] No, you're checking your fucking portfolio.
[00:23:01] You could check your penis twice a day for cancer.
[00:23:05] You should check your penis 17 times a day with the man's mouth with bluetooth.com.
[00:23:16] If you love bluetooth, you'll love sex.com.
[00:23:23] You never checked it when you were like 11.
[00:23:35] I know do that's why you don't have any imagination.
[00:23:37] And I was caught in fact at the Roland Park Middle School computer lab looking up titch.com.
[00:23:47] I'll make sure you just got a little jump in my car.
[00:23:53] I have to say I'm rock hard right now because I took a blue chew this morning exactly and you so you just take the blue
[00:23:59] Cheerio. Oh, no, what you doing with that gigantic deal that thing must be six five inches
[00:24:11] That's fake what is that a whole five and a half to six and a quarter inch
[00:24:16] Dildo that's not real. It's so big. It's a lie. They're blowing out that woman's pussy that dildo must be like
[00:24:23] Having continents problems from now on. Yeah, she'll never be the same like blue chew calm
[00:24:28] You should check out blue chew you should check out blue chew if you like to get your dick hard and in a pussy or an ass or a mouth
[00:24:34] You're in between a fucking feet or an armpit
[00:24:37] Whatever the fuck you're into and you're mad you like sex go to come dot town and then from there by a shirt
[00:24:44] Don't do it. Don't do your own read in the middle of reading
[00:24:47] Different things if you use if you wear a cum dot town shirt while eating okay put on the shirt and then buy the shirt
[00:24:55] And then open up Internet Explorer, but you beat beat off while you're online
[00:24:59] And they go to stop you that bitch with other shirts that you can also buy and if you want to go to blue chew dot
[00:25:06] You can check out there. There are two drugs that they sell yep
[00:25:09] So lads in the field and to dad one of them is for
[00:25:15] Sicilians and the others for homosexual
[00:25:21] The secret is they're both the same pill
[00:25:24] To the whole bills for gay magicians and can't get hard
[00:25:34] No, it all it's it listen folks. We have a good time
[00:25:36] We joke around in here, but in all seriousness to dandel of fill and sedetal in the fill or a fucking C. Allison Viagra
[00:25:47] You're gonna want to take those to get your prick hard as fuck the blue chew dot com affiliated physicians will suck you
[00:25:53] They'll you'll show them a picture of your cock
[00:25:55] They'll make they'll try with all their might to get it hard and if they can't that's the test
[00:26:01] Corinne superhead Stevens on the blue chew dot com staff troubles. She sucks your cock if it doesn't get hard internet
[00:26:07] She doesn't get hard you get the pills for free
[00:26:10] Those can work faster the tubals are good time to take on a floor empty something
[00:26:15] All I'm just gonna go so it's free so it's super
[00:26:36] We started getting drunk just for the reads that'd be awesome and then we stopped the episode then let me sleep for 12
[00:26:46] It's like a flight put him fucking yeah, are we ready to do the rest of the show yes, we are yes
[00:26:53] Did I crash that plane yes, I did and I'll do it again
[00:26:57] Always flight he did crash it, but he crashed a plane on purpose to get his penis hard because it makes him come
[00:27:04] Blue chew to give you come since in bed every time you and your partner
[00:27:10] That's so fucking true yeah takes a few minutes to connect
[00:27:15] With a blue chew dot let me tell you I've had sex with blue chew
[00:27:18] I've had sex without blue chew same and I've shoved it in my hands and women much prefer when I take blue chew think he's
[00:27:27] Without blue chew yes without it and then he takes it
[00:27:30] They don't don't even try and say they also think it sucks. Let me go over here do it do it
[00:27:37] They say it sucks. What the fuck I can hear you Michael Douglas why would you mean you?
[00:27:46] Listen here we're game. I go Douglas. Let him talk. Just wait. What do you know where he was whisper
[00:27:52] And I'll tell you what's he whispering we saw I don't know we saw his dick and it was the smallest dick
[00:27:57] I've ever seen I can't hear what you're saying, but it feels like he's lying. I watched the China syndrome the other day
[00:28:05] Did you do it by going to blue chew dot com?
[00:28:08] Promo code promo code come town come town or come town 20 and you just have to pay shipping on your first
[00:28:15] It's free your cock gets hard for free for $5 for shipping. That's blue chew that town
[00:28:19] So it's promo who comes on Michael Douglas is in China syndrome
[00:28:25] Well, I was watching Richard you all at the time first I watch Richard you all and I said how about Richard
[00:28:30] Drool and it's about a retarded guy that finds a
[00:28:34] Bomb at Millennium part. No, no, it's come on. Sorry. Yeah, I start to joke. All right
[00:28:40] I didn't mean to say they need to rail it by saying we're just a
[00:28:44] Just a full straight line would be a mashup because it'd be a retarded
[00:28:48] It's a retarded guy that finds choking hazards in the special okay
[00:28:54] You didn't even consider the Olympics angle. Yeah, because Richard Jules about the what is it Adams rule
[00:28:59] When I said that I was creative that was invented and he didn't respond
[00:29:04] And I was watching China syndrome and I said about China syndrome, but they get to the
[00:29:12] Decentous looks at Jane Fond and he goes they called the China syndrome
[00:29:15] She says why do they call it that he goes because you'd have to be a fucking mongoloid to let that happen
[00:29:22] I'm not familiar with the film, but it's good. Michael Douglas is any pleasure camera, man nice
[00:29:28] I've got this tape you got to see it's a woman sucking my penis
[00:29:32] I kept the camera rolling while we were in the nuclear reactor and I went into the bathroom
[00:29:36] And I made a video of me and Jack Lemon have accepted
[00:29:43] Then what do you think would happen if you had gay sex in a nuclear reactor
[00:29:47] You think it would make you even gayer great so China syndrome
[00:29:51] Wolf of bermilies in that movie. What's what is the China syndrome? I'm not a Navy guy
[00:29:56] I've been a company man 30 years you tell me I'd have gay sex
[00:30:04] I don't think I've seen it what happens if they've seen it if they ever made a chappo movie wolford bremly
[00:30:14] Play's Matt. Yeah, that's good casting. Yeah, that's dream casting
[00:30:34] Bliver directly to your door. Oh, I see vagina Venus is diabetes when you got penis. Oh
[00:30:43] Diabetes have a guy a penis a guy is penis. Yeah, the only a lot more no meals getting fucked in my ass
[00:30:52] Did he love oatmeal he was that that was through his thing for Liberty mutual really it was the old man
[00:30:58] Oh, I had no idea. I remember that I remember him solely from Liberty Mutual and diabetes Liberty Liberty Liberty
[00:31:07] Because now they're everywhere they got that emo or no is that a different guy?
[00:31:42] Cost you one nickel and four pennies so if you can't be bothered with nickels and pennies throw them in a jar
[00:31:48] Start an oatmeal fund quicker oats. That is a right thing to do. Yeah
[00:31:56] Really when I was a kid back when they invented pennies. I mean what the fuck is that is such a depressing are you so poor you
[00:32:03] Breakfast needs to cost nine cents. What are you?
[00:32:10] Damn dude back when I was a kid I've been lying if I said I didn't want some oatmeal right now. I'm not an oatmeal guy
[00:32:15] I love it. I like it when you dress it up, you know with some fruits. That's one of the things I miss a little
[00:32:25] Is you wake up in some shitty motel you go downstairs and you mix the oatmeal with tricks
[00:32:31] With activity you make a nice big bolo activity that sounds horrible
[00:32:38] See I'm over here eating fucking four of those Danish is pre-wrapped Danish
[00:32:42] I was on the road with Lewis and Dave one time
[00:32:45] Mm-hmm, and I drove we borrowed Bobby's car and I drove the Detroit
[00:32:49] Yes for them Bobby's I remember that you had that fucking show in a strip club
[00:32:52] Yeah, and it was like if we drove I forget how I did I drove like fucking
[00:32:58] Jesus, I got to the motel like way late and Lewis was like about to get into a fight with the guy at the like
[00:33:05] Lewis was immediate as soon as we get there. He's like
[00:33:07] What do you mean the fucking rooms aren't you know the guys like I'd we don't have reservation
[00:33:15] Shitty motel, I mean like bro, you're gonna find a fucking and so I'm like I'm not and I just immediately because I'm like
[00:33:21] I'm figuring they're gonna call the cops. Yeah
[00:33:23] Yeah, so I just like went to the breakfast area and started eating right before or anything respect respect and then eventually
[00:33:30] I'm gonna call it and Lewis comes over and he's like, what are you doing? You're an animal
[00:33:38] Hate crime is Indian man. I'm just trying to get free kicks
[00:33:43] You're about to just cuz over the overnight man a guy who works the desk at a holiday. Yeah
[00:33:49] Yeah, that motel was such a dump they'd like you know like some places you go
[00:33:53] It's like feel free to take our towels, but keep in mind is the service charge for this
[00:33:57] So this place had one of those signs, but it was like had a listing of prices and the towels are like $25 hilarious
[00:34:14] Your product people pride you know, that's a real Andrew Yang move is to keep the TV from all over
[00:34:20] Yeah, what a funny thing to do like they're not gonna notice well
[00:34:23] I think like ha I think if you're doing that you're just trashing you right no one stealing TV from
[00:34:31] I think you're just getting fucked up off. What does you want this magnavox from 1989? Yeah, you need this fucking you broke it
[00:34:41] What's that cathode ray tube cathode ray tube is that the name for I forget?
[00:34:46] Yeah, she's one of the cooking women cathode ray. Yeah, Kathy ray to oh, yeah
[00:34:53] Yo, we're making chocolate cocks filled with
[00:35:00] Yummy, yeah, I want to say I want to get my dick sucked by Kathy to
[00:35:08] It's the way she would be so nice about sucking your dick
[00:35:11] Mmm should be nice to you after she's elected. Oh, she'd be little she'd love it
[00:35:15] She's a kind of like thank you a fabrics by her women are normally nice to you afterwards. No, I'm like get out at him
[00:35:23] Yeah, she'd be like thank you for that for the cub that was delicious. That was great get out of my high school
[00:35:32] You don't even go here get out of get out of
[00:35:44] Right now I am gonna report you if you don't leave the gold of my ear auditorium
[00:35:51] I'm the club. I'm the club advisor for the comedy club here
[00:35:57] Okay, I'm trying to bolster my resume at 33
[00:36:01] By helping out after school teaching them comedy
[00:36:05] I gotta give it to Israel in terms of that they did do thank you some impressive wars
[00:36:12] I gotta admit. Yes, it's a stay war. It's pretty cool now
[00:36:16] I wish they didn't do genocide right after that, but the war itself
[00:36:20] You got to give him props for that the war on getting Percy the war on getting Percy
[00:36:25] My friend's name is Percy. I'm like come on, right? I can't be your real name. Yeah
[00:36:30] Got that that guy that character this weird version of Andrew Yang getting mad cuz he saw the movie Percy Jackson
[00:36:37] Yeah, and it's not about getting this I thought I was about to watch Samuel L Jackson get Percy
[00:36:43] Yeah, I'm trying to see I'm trying to have Percy an evening with some Percy. I'm actually what about we guys think of this for
[00:36:50] A phrase to say that you are a Vietnam wetter in
[00:36:54] You got wetter we got pussy in Vietnam Vietnam, so you weren't in the war you just went to Vietnam to get pussy
[00:37:00] I just went for the vibes the vibes dude. I bet you the means vibes are pretty good right now
[00:37:07] Over there right now. Yeah, that's probably great. They probably locked the fuck down
[00:37:12] I don't have coronavirus and you get a big bowl of some spring rolls get your dick sucked pretty cheap on the cheap
[00:37:18] Right of Rick Shaw. I'd be awesome. Go to Ho Chi Minh City get some pussy. I
[00:37:22] Would love that. That's such a good name for a place Ho Chi Minh City, bro
[00:37:28] I'm about to grow his facial hair get somewhere in a little hat like that
[00:37:31] You should get a food manager stop rose Chi Minh stop Chi Minh
[00:37:35] You could look a little Asian actually I went when I went to popular jewelry to fucking get a couple nitha
[00:37:41] You're Chinese they asked me if I was Chinese. That's so sick. You should have said yes for the discount
[00:37:45] For the family I feel like now though growing out my hair. I'm look much more Greek
[00:37:51] I feel like this is the haircut of Greek excellence a balding long flow actually. That's that's true. I had a guy
[00:38:00] On my old man my old apartment on my block that was a like a buzzcut
[00:38:05] Fat Asian like Chinese guy. He looked a lot like you actually yeah buzz cuts with the great equalizer
[00:38:10] Fat guy a lot of fat people just look a little hug you can either look Chinese if you're fat if your cheeks go a certain way
[00:38:16] It gives you a little asiatic flavor. I
[00:38:20] Think it's safe to say I'm a tug-butch here
[00:38:24] Let's hear it. No, I got nothing on that one. Tug butch here. Sorry. I'm gonna have to make a coffee real quick
[00:38:30] Why did you drink the coffee you have there? I already finished you really are a coffee addict
[00:38:35] You're addicted to Java. Well, you gotta understand it's like something's got a power. I
[00:38:39] Just the machine I just did a flawless Andrew Yang
[00:38:48] Stay on note, I mean you got a they should give us credit for for what you really need drugs to get to get going
[00:39:01] But cheeks but cheeks don't you understand his cheeks have been clapped?
[00:39:06] Originally someone clapped his shoes are you telling me scratch you? Oh her shit's all my jacket
[00:39:18] Plain about the cat my I do see my eyes right on the other one
[00:39:21] We were supposed to do this at your apartment, but you should be able to do we can do it
[00:39:25] I mind you know, there's a I'm so allergic to this fucking way to switch it to yours
[00:39:29] I had to move for one week. We go back to mine. It's fine. We use the living room. We have three chairs there
[00:39:38] Sitting on a box the last three weeks. I'm going if you say another word. I'm gonna kill your dog with Brazilian
[00:39:46] Why don't you fucking hang up your fucking coat next time bro. Where does he have a hang for that?
[00:39:52] He has a cloth is a coat closet. Oh, that's sure put your fucking phone ways going to make off my money
[00:40:02] Okay, stop do you see much hair there is on that?
[00:40:11] My god, that is a Nick amount of shit all over you make it that it'd be like I don't know what you're talking about
[00:40:16] It's pretty funny. Oh my gosh. Okay. Anyway, we'll deal with that after the show. You have a lit roller Nick
[00:40:22] He's not answering me. It is so funny. You're allergic to cats. I forgot. I
[00:40:31] Hate these cocks I think I'm allergic to my dog anyway, but I can't get rid of your logic to your dog
[00:40:36] I love her too much. Um sometimes her fur makes me itch
[00:40:40] But my skin when you put it when you put her to your
[00:40:44] When I use her fucking tails to do well her tail is she can move it in four different directions
[00:40:51] So it's better than a real penis. Do you think you could train her to hit your G spot with you her tail?
[00:41:00] Have you ever had your prostate stimulated Adam I had a prostate exam once and
[00:41:06] Doctor finger-fucking you the doctor presses on your prostate. Okay, and he said and I was an old man
[00:41:12] He said this is gonna feel like you need to pee
[00:41:14] Mmm, and it really does. Wow. I wouldn't say it was pleasant. You think if you worked it a little better
[00:41:21] It would have felt good. I don't know. That's what gay guys
[00:41:23] I guess that's the ultimate for them is feeling like they need to pee
[00:41:26] Really from a from some guys fingers in their ass. Is that the ultimate gay guy desire?
[00:41:32] I don't know getting your ass stimulated. I feel like you need to pee. I assume that's the point
[00:41:37] Yeah, I guess so unless you like the experience of having things in my ass
[00:41:44] That seems to be the point of 32 right being 32
[00:41:48] I think it's time I got the stiffler treatment and got finger fucked by a lot of hotly got milked. Why not?
[00:41:54] Why not at this point with the fuck is going on?
[00:41:57] Yeah, I guess so I mean I'm not opposed to it, but
[00:42:01] Based on that doctor it sounds like you're a fucking coward
[00:42:05] I'm not a homophobe, and I'm not a coward. You're both
[00:42:09] I'm both you're a coward you scared of gay men
[00:42:14] Yeah, it's true the hatred shouldn't be phobe. It should be a different word. Oh here. We go. Yeah, thank go off
[00:42:24] You get 30 more seconds. Mm-hmm. Okay, so if I'm a homophobe that means I'm just like oh
[00:42:30] Oh, yeah, that's really good. That's really good. It's a better happen heard. Yeah, yeah, yeah
[00:42:40] By the nicks said it's an original bit everyone I probably it's this kitchen
[00:42:44] I mean first of all is it not it's not an original bit the second wall
[00:42:48] I've probably said three times on the show and it's probably stolen it already and that's probably and that's you guys
[00:42:54] Probably came back with that. I feel like I was living in a ground. I think it's a good promise
[00:43:04] About something that I wanted to bring up on the show, but I forgot. Mm-hmm. Oh, I want to say I'm jealous of Joe
[00:43:10] But I had indeed why cuz he gets he gets to just be
[00:43:14] Dude, he doesn't know where the fuck he is. Yeah, he all he did was get one one cool black friend
[00:43:22] If you get a black friend cool enough all your dreams can come true
[00:43:25] I don't know. I think all those little those little kids at this at the pool. I don't think they were friends
[00:43:30] I think they were all his friends. What was the guy's name slipknot or blackjack?
[00:43:37] Think corn pop was probably his friend. I
[00:43:41] Guess that's true. He made two cool black friends corn pop and berry. Oh, yeah
[00:43:45] No, no, there is granddaughter posted a picture of him from president's day where she they bought him a bunch of stuff
[00:43:52] That says that he is the president on it like a president at him and a president jacket stuff and he looks so utterly confused
[00:43:59] Yeah, dude like happy president say we got you all this cool swag
[00:44:04] And he looks like he does it on nowhere. He is I love him, dude. Yeah, I wish that was my fucking life
[00:44:10] You just accidentally fail into your career dream. Come on man. What I'm the president
[00:44:16] That's my daughter's they got me. They got me a dildo. That's got the seal
[00:44:30] And you can you when you sit down on a 15 inch dildo
[00:44:35] But a second that but a second it reaches your brain fuel. That's how you get the thinking started
[00:44:41] I'm sorry, but I couldn't think about anything so I sat on that big cock big cock that bad put the big cock in my ass
[00:44:51] It would be awesome if he just had a fucking plug get it all times. I plug up. He's got a plug in two nipple rings
[00:45:00] American people want to see a big cock in my ass
[00:45:04] It's I hope they let him do an audio book. Yeah, I think he'd be a good I think he'd be a good narrate one fish to fish
[00:45:19] Mm-hmm. That's two different fish. It's got two fish
[00:45:23] There's got just got down the street sound fish went over there and said why don't you give me a hand job?
[00:45:41] We yeah, he was he was there's dad on the railroad and we would all go over to his house and we'd compare our dick sizes
[00:45:48] And I remember there was a guy named big cock Larry
[00:45:51] We thought he had the biggest cock, but he pulled his pants down on his regular size
[00:45:55] Wow and turns out it was actually a mongloy that had the biggest one if you
[00:46:01] Likes Joe Biden yeah and find out more about him at macwaldon
[00:46:08] Go the Joe Biden tag Macwalden calm slash Joe Biden Mac touches
[00:46:15] Mm-hmm Macwald calm slash touch me touch me touch my dick if you suck my
[00:46:22] Hulk then I'll fuck your ass. You can make me you can fuck my
[00:46:52] Simple they got a simple fat fabrics here. I love simple fabrics
[00:46:58] Complicated simple fabrics for simple minds. I'll tell you what I've had I'd to buy some long josries
[00:47:04] I have some long johns from Macwald and it was such a pain in the ass that have to go figure out how to buy him
[00:47:10] I ended up just completely nude in the middle of fifth Avenue. That's right with a
[00:47:14] Snowbank sandwich board that said I hate the n-word right now and then I try to explain to everyone
[00:47:20] It's like no, I hate when people say it. I'm not
[00:47:25] Can't you see the quotation marks around it. Yeah, it's because someone's saying it. That's what I think we're cool scene in a movie
[00:47:33] We found it back well then we did because we wanted more out of our basics and always questioned how something so essentially
[00:47:40] It'd be such a pain in the ass to box. Thank you. I've been questioning that for years
[00:47:44] Yeah, that's a good question the frustration was real and the ureca moment happened in a department
[00:47:50] So are I full of brands that dominated our top drawers rather than by a mind-numbing assortment of underwear and socks for real eyes
[00:47:57] Consistent fit Adam stay on your box, please. No my box is hurting my boy. Stay on your box
[00:48:01] You're fucking up the Feng Shui no, and I'm looking at you like this. You're not even looking at you guys are so comfortable
[00:48:08] This box you're looking at him the way Kate looks at Jack and Titanic
[00:48:13] Hornily yeah with your pussy fucking dripping. Yeah, you're pussy saturated
[00:48:18] Why don't you tell them a long I know where you guys well, let me say this I
[00:48:23] For years was pretending I had ever worn Mac well this
[00:48:26] But really literally I'm not proven I know you are let me see am I
[00:48:37] That looked I mean I just I pulled my pubic hair out. Yes, I told you're picking I guess I trim my pews
[00:48:46] I use I use a Norelco one blade to give a little no you don't yes, I do no
[00:48:51] I don't think we've got money from anybody else in a while
[00:48:54] Okay, yeah use the Norelco one plate. Thank you very much until the check clears. That's what I use
[00:49:06] The other way is really nice in fact I'm like I think you've sending me a promo code
[00:49:11] That like a one for us. Yeah, why can I get it shut up? I've never gotten any they get it's for free
[00:49:17] But then one for you. I mean well they they send it to me because it's all as you know what you know
[00:49:22] The media company Nick deserves it. He fucking does all the
[00:49:26] Deserves the free underwear. You can buy your own fucking underwear. Yeah, I will you can go to Mac. Well, how about I buy you some
[00:49:32] How about you buy me some money where you go to Mac welding calm promo code? What is it?
[00:49:39] Anyway, I bought the long underwear and 20 I love it
[00:49:43] I've been going on walks everyone knows everyone by this point must be acquainted with the fact that I am the 20,000 step bastard
[00:49:49] And I get around nine to ten miles a day walking on most days in the winter. That's difficult to do
[00:49:55] I bought some cheap fucking bullshit long johns. They would bunch my nuts up. I would get fucking jimchi
[00:50:02] Some of those guys. It was horrible. Yeah, I said to myself. What the fuck am I doing?
[00:50:06] We got a fucking sponsor here that makes underwear most so beautiful. It'll make you cry
[00:50:12] When I run out of Mac wall and underwear to go back to where my other underwear sucks
[00:50:16] Before doing laundry makes me pissed off. It pisses me the fuck off
[00:50:20] It makes me really fucking angry me me too and he takes it out on the people in his life
[00:50:24] No, I don't yeah, you do fucking talking about stop it. Don't interrupt me on a good underwear day
[00:50:30] I'm sorry. I got my Mac walled underwear on come on. Come on cool out
[00:50:35] No, he doesn't know what he's doing. Oh, no, I'm ready to bring a gun to the palace age mall
[00:50:44] That would be awesome. I was watching the number one
[00:50:48] Local news there was a savage attack in a Brooklyn mall the other day. Yeah, they said that before the guy wearing a
[00:50:55] Vanguard news network was savages was it a guy wearing Rihanna's lingerie line? I don't know
[00:51:03] By the way, of course, I saw that pic dude. I would honestly honestly Adam
[00:51:08] I would shoot you a point blank range to have sex with I would die tomorrow
[00:51:11] For one second if you want I would shoot your nose off with an elephant rifle to have sex with me
[00:51:16] I'll shoot my own nose off. What do you mean? What do you mean? What do I mean? Oh, sorry? I said what I was texting
[00:51:28] He literally did folks you might think Nick was joking I saw him X out of his text box
[00:51:35] Mac Walden will be the most comfortable on the wear socks shirts comfortable warm
[00:51:39] How do you zen sweatpants and more that you will ever wear? I'm gonna start talking like spinner from the grassy
[00:51:46] Well, I like that for you. Dude. I've had I've had
[00:51:49] Told multiple women. I've watched the grab and watching degrassy with strange women nice and I love chicks
[00:51:56] Numerous people have told that spinners the character is supposed to have down syndrome. Mm-hmm. They believe it 100% hit rate
[00:52:03] Nice. I love that. They probably really believe it. They're not just like why won't this guy shut the fuck up about the grassy
[00:52:12] I'm not the one that they're like, uh-huh. They're putting their fucking shoes on there. They're not coming your fuck
[00:52:18] Confusing your dates when you're like showing off your M&M collection
[00:52:22] This is the blue one. He's the smart one first of all
[00:52:25] I would eat my pick aside with me if I'm so fat in your fucking little fantasies
[00:52:31] I'm eating the fucking the pumminums before there's a chance plus. He's I would eat those two out of being confused and hungry
[00:52:38] Thank you very much this character of Star Wars that you've created. Oh, you would accuse him of eating these plushies
[00:52:43] I crushed now who's mad about characters
[00:52:55] Adam likes a little sparring match between the two titans of the podcast
[00:52:59] He's the he's the guy's hiller and maw throw
[00:53:03] And guess what I am he's a gay little Japanese guy
[00:53:14] I did good on Valentine's I made spaghetti meatballs nice man. Yeah, where did this who asked?
[00:53:22] But what did that have to do with it because we're talking about the empty women the empty sex that we have
[00:53:27] Adam wants to tell you guys giving you something
[00:53:29] I don't even I don't even flock anymore. I just forced people to watch
[00:53:34] I'm just saying maybe you get a girlfriend you make you make from scratch you made from getting spaghetti and meatballs
[00:53:41] No, I'm not doing that shit. Why that sounds good. I'm saying I makes half half pork half ground beef
[00:53:48] And you know instead of instead of milk
[00:53:52] It was it was more it was richer and then I had a lot of nice
[00:53:58] Ritcher if you put on Mac while that's your dick will feel like a million bucks
[00:54:02] And if you don't like it you could or you're pushing if you don't like it you they'll refund you
[00:54:11] What is it you get no risk guarantee you get 20. Yeah, the no risk guarantee
[00:54:16] I think they send you free underwear on your birthday
[00:54:18] Yeah, that might be something they get the Mac while loyalty blue or something
[00:54:23] I love being a part of the blue you'll see it look go there and you sign up for the blue network and if you spend
[00:54:34] To sign up and you get something like 20% off every order if you spend over six million dollars
[00:54:41] Yeah, just like and and have six million yen, which is much lower
[00:54:48] Mr. Yang wants to convert us to Andrews the Andrews slurring Andrew slang got you got merc will calm. Mm-hmm. Thank you
[00:55:07] No, that's how we say it in earthland and arcland is Andrew your terror wearing I love having wearing derpers
[00:55:24] Like well, they should start doing diapers derpers for wiggers derpers derpers for workers
[00:55:30] Um what do we miss here? Um spaghetti and meatballs do not share promo code 20% off your first order map
[00:55:47] Design premium. I love the loyalty program. Mm-hmm. I'm a part of it. I I look to be honest
[00:55:53] We don't fuck around any of that shit because I get the underwear for but I do but and I say it's you so much
[00:56:00] I enjoy the underwear is that I've harassed the media company buyer
[00:56:05] For additional promo code so I can get even more of it
[00:56:12] To me, yeah, but I would pay for it. It's just there would be foolish of me not to try and make is a capitalist at heart and my heart
[00:56:24] And how you make money is begging for capitalism bad
[00:56:27] Captain-alism now that's cool that is cool. It's gonna be so funny how gay all of this
[00:56:35] Circilism is yeah, but it just the online world of what are you doing?
[00:56:40] Ready I'm just playing like a little game
[00:56:50] That was like a cat you really got a cat playing with laser for it. Just now, bro
[00:56:57] I didn't even plan. I wasn't I was totally just my body took over. I was like
[00:57:02] No, I mean you're playing like a baby's game of object completion
[00:57:07] Yeah, I'm playing peekaboo with your lights. I like the orange hue. It's cool. Yeah, it is nice
[00:57:13] It's nice at night when I put on Western's oh hell. Yeah, I love that
[00:57:17] In fact, I got the light bulbs that change colors. Yeah, and I got blackout curtains, too
[00:57:21] I can give you a little o'samp. How very nice magw
[00:57:26] It's a promo code come down 20 and then and sign up for the fucking blue the blue
[00:57:32] Back the blue back the blue back the blue back well the blue lives matter every order a dollar goes to officer Brian
[00:57:55] I'm a fire extinguisher shoved in his ass. Mm-hmm. All cops are bastards
[00:58:07] Baster like you know Sean Connery would respect him after being his enemy. Yeah, he's a bastard, but he's a hero
[00:58:18] Oh, yeah, son. Bye Sean Connery. Oh bomb based on
[00:58:29] My name is bun James Bond and I want to give a kiss your posh
[00:58:38] My name is bun James Bond bond James Bond
[00:58:51] Suck in a dick because I'm gay put in a dick
[00:58:56] Inside my ass if you like come town and you're upset with the quality of this episode
[00:59:01] You can always go to patreon.com slash come town and sign up and get an additional
[00:59:07] Phone then but yeah, no, no the really good ones are there
[00:59:12] Oh, no, we think we save the really good ones and we don't sell out on the yeah
[00:59:16] We're actually those ones are the is a writer's room. Yeah, we plan them out for a long time
[00:59:25] Yeah, black girls. We got whatever the fall types of girls writing our old type of HR on calm
[00:59:33] Mambo number five. Yeah, writer's room. Yeah, we got Pamela
[00:59:38] It would be funny if I could manners to somehow still have a conversation with anybody at any fucking
[00:59:44] Anybody in the industry to just be like I got this idea for a show and I think it'd be really good
[00:59:48] but basically it's like it would be like sort of
[00:59:53] But we like really try to tackle the issue of gentrification and figure out what's going on with that. Okay, and then that's it
[01:00:00] But a comedic it's a comedic look at gentrification
[01:00:04] Because that's what I think a lot of people they don't even understand. Dude. I've never heard that discussed. Yeah
[01:00:11] Talk about stuff like we should talk about like crazy how neighborhoods change we should do a show about like a white privilege. I think
[01:00:19] Do you think the world's ready for that I don't think so it's very funny, too
[01:00:26] I think we should do a show about a guy who keeps shitting his pants
[01:00:31] That would be awesome. We should we should do a show about a Indian guy
[01:00:35] Who grew up with doctors his parents? It would be funny if Comedy Central just now like in the last month aired four different shows about Joe Biden
[01:00:46] President dumbass and cartoon Joe. Yeah, the idiot
[01:00:52] Just do that with every president that would be a vulnerable
[01:00:58] I would watch a Joe Biden show man. Yeah, he is so he's a good character. If you put a dick in my ass
[01:01:06] I would watch that before I watch a Trump show. Yeah, that is the opportunity to be actually funny
[01:01:12] Buying is hilarious. I said listen Cole house. Imagine how mad Hillary Clinton is a man. She sees a picture
[01:01:20] Mayor Clint we're talking about making a movie
[01:01:22] I said what kind of movie you said take a pants off. I'll show you
[01:01:31] But you gotta you gotta sometimes you got to do weird things you can go ahead and do the right thing
[01:01:36] You gotta do stuff that feels weird just so we can help some guy get off
[01:01:44] They have Joe Biden and Clint Eastwood having gay sex that'd be awesome, dude Joe. What a chair
[01:01:50] Take your pants off Joe. What the hell are you doing?
[01:02:07] Are you feeling yay, that's yourself that question
[01:02:30] There's a president Wow my lucky day, and I said fellas
[01:02:45] I'll forgive you if you let me suck your cocks
[01:02:49] Oh, we had a friend we call him Gage. Oh, you're gonna get you'll come by and he's looking at bathroom
[01:02:54] The president is having lunch the president will be getting lunch
[01:03:01] He's having us 3 p.m. Dinner now everybody's just can't wait to suck off this Jen's
[01:03:07] Saki woman who's that the press secretary?
[01:03:10] They like her I mean I would but I wouldn't be that
[01:03:18] Perfect she can suck my little prick as far as I'm concerned yeah
[01:03:21] It's just like she's just gonna like everyone's like oh it's just so nice to have somebody who doesn't lie to you
[01:03:27] It's so loves facts. It's like no she's absolutely
[01:03:31] Yeah, it's so funny to go back to just concentrating on myself instead of making everything about myself via politics
[01:03:43] To have a woman who says I will look into that for you Dale the American people should know I accidentally got my dick ripped off
[01:03:51] On a toast drop it. I thought you could fuck it and it turns out you can
[01:04:03] In a toaster I forget I can't remember what he sounds like me. It's it's fucking doesn't matter. That's a good approximation
[01:04:11] Yeah, I'm just gonna I'm just gonna cruise
[01:04:14] Does he talk in public anymore? I think they
[01:04:19] I'm speak that was the nice thing about the campaign as he had to like
[01:04:23] Contractually he wasn't even out there that much no they hit him away
[01:04:27] Yeah, there's debates and like at one speech every like month on zoom
[01:04:30] Yeah, we'll have a star tell us where you wonder are
[01:04:34] Up above the clouds so high Joe. That's Joe go back to bed
[01:04:38] You're having a stroke any that'd be cool if we had a deep fake president though
[01:04:44] Yeah, I remember a song. I used to sing to bow when he was going to sleep a little have a star
[01:04:55] Up above the clouds so high wonder wonder why it's you know
[01:05:00] Where's hunters you getting pussy? Yeah, he's back in pussy. I love that guy. He's trying to be an artist to just say
[01:05:06] I'm trying to do art hunter. You're invited to become on the podcast. I mean my dad. You smoke crack together
[01:05:13] We're gonna have all the hunters on what is that's what just what hunter bar sounds like he is a little bit of me
[01:05:18] It's obviously just dad, but yeah, does he I don't know what his voice sounds like at all actually I was like my cock going into your mouth
[01:05:25] It does that's rude. That's rude to me sounds like taking a shit sounds like shitting in your own pussy