Cum Town | Regular | 04/14/2021
[00:00:00] In all tribal cultures, every village at a sentinel.
[00:00:05] Now a sentinel is chosen because of a genetic advantage.
[00:00:11] A sensory awareness that can be developed beyond normal humans.
[00:00:17] Your time spent in Peru has got to be connected with what's happening to you now.
[00:00:23] I've got hundreds of documented cases of one or two hyperactive senses,
[00:00:27] but not one single subject with all five.
[00:00:47] I've been reviewing Highlander, the TV series,
[00:00:49] but there's another show I wanna review.
[00:00:52] I've always connected it with Highlander for some reason.
[00:00:55] This guy? That show is the sentinel from the...
[00:00:58] No, you don't know this one's charisma.
[00:01:00] The sentinel was a Canadian television show.
[00:01:07] ... at the end for 65 episodes and shared 113 cast members with Highlander.
[00:01:15] It shows folks around Detective James Ellison of the Cast Geed Washington Police Department.
[00:01:22] After a three day stakeout trying to catch a bomber known as the Switchman,
[00:01:28] he starts to develop heightened senses.
[00:01:31] And only entomology student named Blair knows what...
[00:01:38] ... in all tribal cultures every village cat.
[00:01:45] Yeah, let's just play the sentinel audio from the pilot.
[00:01:52] Well, we haven't really talked about...
[00:02:00] I just initiated Stav and Adam to sendinel.
[00:02:10] We've been watching goofy bullshit that's bad.
[00:02:26] Diagnosed murder was the best bad TV show I've ever seen.
[00:02:37] Dig-Heads on who, in real life, is also his Dig-Heads on.
[00:02:45] So what happens is we watch Dye-Kle-Mix's murder and Adam just stares at the stock market.
[00:02:51] So I mean, it's fun scrolling through stocks.
[00:02:53] And then me and the Stavl make jokes and then Adam will look up from his phone and repeat
[00:02:59] Well, they came to me, but I wasn't listening.
[00:03:22] We're talking about the first couple of seasons of Survivor.
[00:03:29] So people didn't really know what direction reality shows were going to go.
[00:03:35] Fox had their own called Temptation Island.
[00:03:46] They just watched people f**k on night vision camera.
[00:03:52] But I would easily jack off to that kind of thing.
[00:03:55] Cause you see the thing, that's also the highlight of night vision being horny because of one night in Paris.
[00:04:05] So they had some kind of agreement with WWE.
[00:04:09] And their reality show was a show called Manhunt.
[00:04:12] Whereas these people on an island and John Cena went around with a gun.
[00:04:23] They had John Cena dressed as an army man.
[00:04:26] They would just be hunted by a bodybuilder.
[00:04:36] I remember like I said, the show with Eddie Griffin and...
[00:04:40] I watched every episode of Manhunt as they aired.
[00:04:44] And I remember being excited for the finale to find out who won.
[00:04:50] You know, but you didn't watch Smackdown?
[00:04:53] I would watch Smackdown, but I was never really into wrestling.
[00:04:57] I mean, I would just watch everything that was on UPN.
[00:05:05] This is John Cena before WWE too, by the way.
[00:05:12] Wait, he was a game show host and was he a rapper too?
[00:05:19] Why would that be a fucking time with Smackdown then?
[00:05:22] Because Manhunt was supposed to feature Smackdown wrestlers and then it fell apart.
[00:05:29] But that doesn't make any sense that John Cena was just a rant and then he got hired by the WWE?
[00:05:35] Do you guys remember the WWE when they were at WWF and it was also the world wildlife
[00:05:43] And then the pandas were like, you can't use the same name as us.
[00:05:49] Well, the ones that can go to court too.
[00:05:54] I mean, I'm doing an impression because a lot of them speak Chinese.
[00:06:00] I want the audience to know what the pandas are saying.
[00:06:04] Because you have the ability to speak Chinese.
[00:06:39] Yeah, it's like a combination of various worlds.
[00:06:47] The pandas and races, the autistic guys only speak.
[00:07:06] Well, they tried to trick black people into speaking it by naming it after a Cadillac.
[00:07:14] Back in the 70s, they were like, how do we get them to stop talking like that?
[00:07:18] They're like, we'll make up a new language and call it El Dorado.
[00:07:25] Asperanto just sounds like Spanish, though.
[00:07:28] Yeah, it's supposed to be in the middle of all the languages.
[00:07:43] It's so funny, English is just a bunch of people speaking a bunch of different languages, the
[00:07:50] And then it just became one fucked up language.
[00:07:53] I guess there are like native speakers of this bullshit.
[00:08:06] I love doing it like one of those, like, did you know research podcasts?
[00:08:13] Yeah, I'm like, listen, they're that fucking made up shit.
[00:08:18] These intend to be a universal second language.
[00:08:20] There should be different languages depending on what class you're in, I feel.
[00:08:25] Like, not just accents, but full languages.
[00:08:28] So once you start making a certain amount of money, you get access to pan-dinese.
[00:08:42] That would be so tight to be able to communicate with a pan-d, yeah.
[00:08:45] I would love to go down there little slides.
[00:08:47] Yeah, just a pan-dah, like, looking at you and then looking back angrily at me and then
[00:08:53] saying something and then in subtitles it says, I don't look like him.
[00:09:10] Like, I'm not fat in the pan the world.
[00:09:12] This is just what pan- we're all this size.
[00:09:27] The pan should be fucking honored to look like me.
[00:09:32] The pandas, don't they eat like 24 hours a day?
[00:09:35] Yeah, they're always just fucking munching.
[00:09:42] Is that the problem that they don't fuck that much?
[00:09:48] We need to do a freaky Friday pan to sweat body switch.
[00:09:52] Make me a pan that I'll fucking- I'll fill up every pan to pussy I come across.
[00:09:57] Yeah, and you- that's where the name pan de express comes from.
[00:10:01] Is it a lot of the sauce is just different colored pan de come.
[00:10:10] Well, the pan does come so much faster than any other animal.
[00:10:12] And Chinese cuisine, this animal comes as a huge ingredient.
[00:10:17] They, you know, take 15 minutes to suck off a dog.
[00:10:21] To get the sauce you need before cooking the dog and then blazing it with its own.
[00:10:26] That's one of the biggest delicacies is a dog poached in its own cone.
[00:10:32] They call it the Beijing twice fucked dog.
[00:10:43] That's why it's like, you know, we have- we paid $10 million to Brent DePantis for the
[00:10:50] But a lot of people think we rented them from some Chinese zoo and if they don't have those
[00:10:54] there, we just rented them from the big cum restaurant.
[00:11:09] Damn, I would love to go to BJ Chang's and it's just a-
[00:11:16] Is this such a dig or feed you egg rolls?
[00:11:23] There was that story where they had to close the rainforest cafe in Dallas because it was-
[00:11:29] they built it next to like near this Asian community and the families were going in there and trying
[00:11:36] Yeah, they would go suck at stick and they're like-
[00:11:49] Now, I didn't see- I didn't realize gorillas were indigenous to China.
[00:11:54] Well, they thought they were different type of pandas.
[00:11:59] They're kind of like a pit bull versus a bulldog.
[00:12:04] That's where the rainforest cafe went out of business.
[00:12:09] That's what they said to those guys too.
[00:12:22] This is all new information to me, I have to be honest.
[00:12:27] Now, why would somebody assume a gorilla was an American panda?
[00:12:33] I would love to go to the rodeo and just use the bathroom at the rodeo and then come out.
[00:12:40] My pants are still down my ankles and I'm wiping my ass at the sink.
[00:12:44] My penis is out and people are like, what are you doing?
[00:13:30] That would be really funny to see, honestly.
[00:13:34] Yeah, that one crucial punchline to build up is-
[00:13:56] You can enjoy that image of you pulling your shitty ass cheeks apart and sliding of faucet
[00:14:05] Well, the guy from fucking Texas looks on horrified.
[00:14:17] Have you actually actually gone when you were in Austin?
[00:14:21] I used to go to the cow town radio in New Jersey.
[00:14:28] Yeah, in South Jersey it's a cowboy country.
[00:14:31] They got a little cowboy area of New Jersey.
[00:14:36] Like in between Philly and Atlantic City is like the cowboy area.
[00:14:46] That's where I used to have a hat that says Jesus is my boss that I used to wear all the time.
[00:14:53] And then Nate Barghatsy did a photo shoot with that hat years later.
[00:14:58] I'm like, well, no, I guess I can't wear that hat.
[00:15:15] Yeah, I'm going to go down there and meet some rough customers.
[00:15:19] You get fucked in the ass by gosh, the calluses on their hands.
[00:15:27] And then one of them gets AIDS from you.
[00:15:29] And it's like New Jersey State the community.
[00:15:36] You telling me a regular cowboy is some kind of fake?
[00:15:40] They're like, well, we can give you HIV medicine.
[00:15:45] And it's a story about one man that kept saying he wasn't gay in 2021 until he died of AIDS.
[00:15:52] No, I'm not taking no pills that a gay guy would take.
[00:16:03] Yeah, this place is only two hours and 43 minutes away from here.
[00:16:16] I was going to say the tip of your dick from your asshole, but that would make it big.
[00:16:27] The tip of his dick from the center of his asshole.
[00:16:32] No, you were, but in your brain, my dick was big.
[00:16:35] How about your dick, you tip your dick from the depths of your asshole?
[00:16:38] The entrance to your ass from the end of your ass.
[00:16:41] No, but that's not what you were thinking.
[00:16:42] You were actually thinking of the distance between my ass and the end of my penis.
[00:16:48] It is, no, no, he's right, but it's only because your asshole is three hours deep.
[00:16:53] I'm going to contact the kid in my book.
[00:17:04] In public right now, in front of all these fans of the show.
[00:17:19] So it's just exit one off the Jersey turnpike.
[00:17:27] I saw a dead body next to the Delaware Memorial Bridge.
[00:17:32] I mean, they were loading it into the fucking like corners, man.
[00:17:41] I'm fucking disrespectful because I'm sorry.
[00:18:12] The guy's got a lot of fun with that one.
[00:18:26] A fucking, a fucking Kohler sink broke off in his ass and caused internal bleeding.
[00:18:36] Daddy, why are you just nicking balls out there?
[00:18:39] You'll understand when you're older, son.
[00:18:41] There's something about the West and Canada.
[00:18:26] Iron and the West man's Six minutes incamp is a difficult number, but
[00:18:46] He's trying to get in a rhythm like this.
[00:19:04] Okay, I'm sorry captain. I don't know how this happened
[00:19:12] It's stuck we're out of bags. We're gonna have to transport it like this
[00:19:16] We don't want to unzip and cause more damage in a murder investigation
[00:19:26] The murderer gets off because they tampered with the penis
[00:19:30] Classic I got a penis you can tamper with them why
[00:19:34] We got Adam loves so it can't be so it can't be presented as evidence
[00:19:39] No, you just gonna tamper with it. I don't know it has nothing to do with you can tamper with something
[00:19:43] It's not enough, you know in a fucking court. I only know the court version of that. That's how my brain works
[00:19:58] Smokeable CBD works good. It does it and does it ever really works perfectly. I
[00:20:04] Love smoking cushy dreams when I go to the right rodeo. Oh, yeah, and then they think they think you're some sort of
[00:20:14] And then they and then you tell them Adam, why don't you tell the good folks at home about cuz you dreams for a little bit while I
[00:20:21] I just rest my eyes here for a second. Yeah, they just rolled his eyes into the back of his head. We can only see the whites
[00:20:31] Undertaker style. Yeah, that was such a
[00:20:33] Pretty pretty pretty dreams is a line of premium smoke. That's so cool. It's undertaker's like like
[00:20:47] Although to be fair, that's kind of a chicken or the egg. I feel like he caused he is the cause them he taught those autistic
[00:20:54] Yeah, it's the undertaker. He's being no way typical
[00:20:57] We've never seen this before. Oh my god
[00:21:03] He's color-coding all those Legos very fast. Oh and here comes the
[00:21:11] It's got pieces of Velcro that he's rubbing on the on the undertakers forearms. Oh he's screeching the undertakers
[00:21:20] She's screeching and punching himself in the side of the head
[00:21:22] I call him that because he has to undertake the difficult task of living as a neuro a typical boy
[00:21:30] Navigating the world in a world with autism in a world that would consider him a fag even if he was just an
[00:21:39] Yeah, well and actually the only thing that caused because you drink the undertakers autism the only thing that
[00:21:45] Because fix the fix that was smoking Cushy TV friend not just any smokeable CBD CBD from our friends at Cushy dreams
[00:21:54] Yeah with premium buds that are hand selected by botanists
[00:21:59] In California they got they got one of those fucking from you Jack City. It's one of those
[00:22:07] TDS out look picking all this picture this guy running this horse
[00:22:18] What's the picture no, you know, let's see he looks like the guy looks like oh my god
[00:22:25] Yes, it looks like it looks like he's doing a fucking yeah
[00:22:30] But getting his dick son right go to cowtown rodeo calm and take a look at this guy yeah
[00:22:39] So yeah, if you want to cure your autism or if you just want to chill out
[00:22:43] Have a nice time watch the UP the UPN lineup from
[00:22:48] On bootleg DVDs. Yeah, how about you hit up our friends at Cushy dreams calm and you order some of their premium line of smokeable
[00:23:01] We got dream they got create they got they got strains for your whole thing they got a quit
[00:23:07] And you can commit any crime if you smoke that yeah, you'll be fine and
[00:23:12] Marijuana has now been legalized in New York state, but it's so now it's more badass actually to be now
[00:23:18] It's cool before we'll get to be honest before it was gay before it was before it wasn't bad
[00:23:24] It was yet now it is but I just read this the cowtown rodeo is the most well-known rodeo in the United States
[00:23:30] Why that's how shitty rodeo is this this
[00:23:34] No, San Antonio. Don't they have a better rodeo?
[00:23:37] No, I don't think so. I think people are confusing rodeo with madadors the spurs the spurs
[00:23:48] But if they did it where it was like one of those artistic kids that puts his arms behind them and runs with his backpack
[00:23:53] And then there's a guy who's already what's that? Yeah?
[00:23:56] Yeah, yeah, that kind of thing if it would like the one of those guys going through like a
[00:24:02] Towel while he gets like stabbed with a little stiletto
[00:24:05] That would be cool to watch. That would be awesome and less cruel
[00:24:12] This is the undertaker brought to you by Cushy dreams
[00:24:17] With the road to be better if we were killing the retarded I'm killing Cushy dreams stabbing
[00:24:22] They don't kill the bulls at the bullfight. Yes, they do. No, they don't but then what do they do get another bolt?
[00:24:27] Them. Oh, they do. No, they let the bulls kill they famously killed them and no, that's in the madadors
[00:24:34] Do that thought that's what the fuck Nick is talking about you fucking done. I thought you're talking about the road
[00:24:43] Anyway, sorry, I was looking at pictures of cowboys right on my phone. Yeah, you're looking at a picture of cowboys with their hard dicks
[00:24:53] Coming out of their fucking dungarees. So yeah
[00:24:56] If you're a fan of the screaming out of their dungarees if you're a fan of the show Cushy dreams wants to reward you for listening to our
[00:25:07] That's why that's why you can go to cushy dreams calm and put in promo code come town
[00:25:14] I think it's just come down Nick and you receive 20% off your order your first order for I think any quarter or any
[00:25:26] Order forever, you know, who knows Spain is the case country
[00:25:35] I know just fuck I mean even like the clothes and then the stance. I
[00:25:39] Mean this is just this is atrocious. Mm-hmm. You know what? I like the clothes
[00:25:45] Yeah, I would love to wear a fucking bull fighters outfit, but not cause harm to a bull
[00:25:51] Well, I guess I mean I guess I'd like to eat a mistake. Yeah, yeah, but bulls wouldn't be tasty
[00:25:56] Why not because they're like too athletic and muscular their their meat would be tough. I bet you we eat bulls
[00:26:05] You want to Cushy dreams is brought to you by the same people that came up with Bob Evans. Yes
[00:26:15] Pretty sure you eat bull it it tastes good. Can we please just get to read?
[00:26:20] I'm the only one here trying to stay on
[00:26:22] You're right. No, we usually not use for me bulls usually larger than other cattle the only part of a bullet
[00:26:27] They got a premium Adam your job was talking about Cushy. I did already. I'm looking at Spanish guys on your
[00:26:47] I can't wait to give a little stab to my boyfriend to dress up like a homo
[00:26:57] That my big boyfriend and when he run past I give him little prick. Oh
[00:27:04] Apparently we eat bulls as a ground beef because they're tougher really and also the testicles for shows like fear factor and
[00:27:12] You know gross out kind of reality TV shows. Yeah, you got to eat a bull's balls
[00:27:18] Cushy dreams is brought to you by viewers like you. That's right. Oh
[00:27:27] Dude, I rarely do this, but I have to piss. I'm sorry. That's fine. That's fine. Well, while you're gone
[00:27:33] We'll just talk about a new website Cushy dreams calm
[00:27:36] I could see dreams look this stuff. I tell you it's smokeable CBD flower
[00:27:48] And it comes in pre-rolled joints. Yeah, it's like eight different types. So I got dumb names
[00:27:53] I think they do different shit that's explained on the website
[00:28:00] That's the point and they also have nitrogen sealed tins if you're one of these I got to break my own weed up guy
[00:28:06] I like the pre-rolls because that takes a step out of it that I always thought but shouldn't have been my job
[00:28:11] Yeah, yeah, that should be the damn factory workers. They should be making they should be making the joints for me
[00:28:18] Yeah, but I've tried oils in the past and it doesn't really do anything for me. Yeah
[00:28:24] Gummies CBD gummies. That's a wreck. It's all fake. This is the only real way to enjoy CBD effort to make your life
[00:28:31] So much better. Yeah in a quantifiable way. Yeah, it's to smoke the real flower
[00:28:39] You got it. You got it. You got it. You got to try it. You got to go to Cushy dreams calm
[00:28:48] I think I think it's just comtown. It's just comtown or comtown. Just try it out. You know
[00:28:53] I'm gonna do it now. So we're gonna go shop now. Okay, nice
[00:28:55] I did and we're gonna tell you about the look they got a picture of the Brooklyn Bridge Wow
[00:28:59] That's pretty good when I think CBD. I think the Brooklyn Bridge. Yeah, which is weird because none of it
[00:29:04] It's all from like it's all from those like obnoxious
[00:29:07] Like Northern California. Yeah weed country. Oh weed. Well, New York is about to be anybody that's ever been like
[00:29:14] Oh, I really got to go. I gotta go see Humboldt or whatever. It's like just stay there forever. Don't ever for sure. Yeah, I
[00:29:22] Have no patience none whatsoever for for California, but especially
[00:29:27] Northern California, that's right. Mm-hmm at least Southern California has
[00:29:34] You know the courtesy of announcing itself is just like retarded trash
[00:29:40] Northern California where they're like, oh, we got coffee shops and we're intelligent so true
[00:29:49] Single coffee shop fake tits and they show up here in New York and they're like, I'm just trying to get a fucking burrito
[00:29:59] I'm like pal you're in the fucking wrong place chief. Yeah, I'm like pal. I'm just trying to get through this damn rodeo
[00:30:08] Obviously I'm struggling. I'm struggling. My ass is so dirty. I've been scared to go to the bathroom. My pants are soaking wet
[00:30:22] I'm all squishy and I'm afraid part of the sink broke off into my ass. It's causing internal bleeding
[00:30:29] My dick's in my mouth in this body bag and my shoes are all squishy
[00:30:36] So select your next smoke here with the pre rolls. We're gonna CBD pre rolls of cushy dreams. I do love the half-gram
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[00:30:53] I haven't gotten a care package and quite sometimes. I've been smoking this shit thinking it was like oh
[00:30:57] This is this is like four hundred dollars each
[00:31:01] And it would have been worth every god yeah, I was spent that 15 bucks is nothing
[00:31:07] Imagine if it was this cheap to smoke a like a cigarette only cost $15. I would be it
[00:31:13] Love this dude smokeable. Okay, so smokeable hemp CBD pre rolls $15 or four interest free payments of 370
[00:31:24] Seso this is a this is a here you go you can finance fake weed
[00:31:29] If you even thought for one second to do that do yourself a favor and kill yourself
[00:31:36] Yeah, my credit score is a knife to your fucking jugular
[00:31:43] I'm gonna do they I'm gonna do the payment system because I'm trying to build up credit trying to build up your credit
[00:31:51] Okay, so the coupon code let's put it in come town and see what I'm pretty sure it's gonna work
[00:31:55] I have a really good feeling come town apply coupon
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[00:32:16] Go over there do that use the promo code and as always remember smoke your CBD
[00:32:22] Because you can because you can one of the best one of the absolute best models any companies
[00:32:28] And if you can't smoke it then don't smoke it if you're one of those voice box guys
[00:32:33] Hmm don't do that man. You smoked enough
[00:32:38] I'm sick of these fucking voice box guys my penis is small
[00:32:43] The doctor had to that to try to make my dick bigger by putting a hose down my throat
[00:32:54] But it blew it just blew the faucet out of my ass and everyone
[00:33:01] You doctor did the operation at the radio I spend a lot of time
[00:33:21] Dude, I think I'm dying at this headache. I dialed the wrong number one time and got one of those guys really yeah
[00:33:27] I was like this is wild. It's so crazy to sound like that
[00:33:31] So they put a little microphone up to their throat or what I don't know there's like another speaker
[00:33:37] There was like feedback noises and shit. It's really scary. Do you think if they are you calling from me?
[00:33:44] I'm like, oh, just fucking Alex's house
[00:33:50] He's robot Butler his uncle that's visiting. Yeah is a robot
[00:33:58] You know obviously that was the wrong guy. I felt bad. Yeah, there's no one's calling him. No
[00:34:05] My family age talking to me on the phone
[00:34:09] You know what though probably texting that guy's probably really good at texting. Yeah, he's probably gotten so good at texting
[00:34:17] Probably he's probably really good at sexting. Oh, he's so good at texting. Yeah, I was gonna say
[00:34:23] Do you think it feels good to put your if it vibrates to put your voice box on a clit and talk? Yeah, yeah
[00:34:43] Don't know how these work I was confusing it for Stephen Hawking
[00:34:52] Would have loved I wish Stephen Hawking were still alive because you know his chair would exist and like with like wife
[00:34:59] Does it have to take it update you could add updated and Stephen Hawking could be going giving a speech somewhere
[00:35:05] And he's rolling his chair up to the podium and he's like good afternoon
[00:35:14] There seems to be something has gone like goofy with my computer voice
[00:35:21] But because I am already here we must continue the program
[00:35:25] I am giving a lecture on getting side pussy from your nerves
[00:35:32] Black holes. Why do they call them that by Stephen Hawking?
[00:35:37] Have you ever noticed there are too many coconuts
[00:35:52] There is someone there is a trickster God playing jokes that no that I did not say that either
[00:36:00] Someone is playing a joke, but they which dog guys put it course on my computer
[00:36:04] I'm not saying any of this please unplug me
[00:36:10] Yes, I may be a celebrity and a popular target for pranks, but don't forget. I'm also a great report. I
[00:36:20] Whoever is doing this please return the bananas to my heart
[00:36:27] That's one racist one go just because he's got total cover
[00:36:40] Stephen Hawking like he has like a big speech or whatever and he has to go out on stage
[00:36:46] You like secretly put like a fish hook you know under one of his sleeves and then you're in the rafters above the
[00:36:53] The thing he's on stage talking and you just take his like hand off the chair and you make it look like he's jagged
[00:37:02] He's like I am not doing that that's not me. Yeah, they're like Stephen Hawking can finally beat off again
[00:37:13] I bet sadly it was yet again another prank just the prank
[00:37:17] Oh, that I'm playing a prank on Stephen's gay body. Damn imagine really wanted to jack off and not be able to oh my god
[00:37:25] The world of Tori that's why I added to vote himself to Matt
[00:37:30] Just because he missed jerking off so yeah, you can't do that
[00:37:33] They put you in a straight jacket and saying to sound it can't beat off
[00:37:35] Yeah, because you could call it a gay jacket because that's what you are if you don't be
[00:37:39] Yeah, it's true. Do you ever have long ago without being off the Gary your thoughts get I find did you know anyone that thought it was gay
[00:37:48] Oh, cuz it's a penis in your hand. I don't know you would hear it everyone
[00:37:52] You would hear that argument every once in a while, but never from anyone
[00:37:55] Not a good faith you maybe as a kid feel that way until you jack off one time. Yeah
[00:38:04] Right, I'm fucking gay. I'm gay, but I was I'm gay, but I was thinking about a girl. How's my yeah? Yeah
[00:38:10] So how is that gay my hand is only the gay part? Yeah, I got a gay hand
[00:38:14] I got my Candice gave him my dick is so straight my dick is straight my brain was thinking about the Takara from
[00:38:29] I was a plus-size model one that show I jacked off to her quite a bit. That's pretty cool
[00:38:36] There's a video a tick-tock. I saw a little kid stealing his grandma's voice box and then using it to
[00:38:47] It's really creative and it gets yelled at by his mom or fucking bitch. Yeah fuck that bitch
[00:38:53] I feel like you have to be Puerto Rican to have one of those
[00:38:55] The voice box. Yeah, one of the last three things no plenty of way trash people have
[00:39:00] Oh, yeah Greek town was there I don't think I don't think I've ever seen anyone with one in real life
[00:39:06] I'm somebody on my fucking block outside of that one phone call because I can't imagine if I lost my voice box
[00:39:15] Yeah, you know yeah this lady that I'm thinking it was just some fat old lady like a flat old white trash that smoked still
[00:39:22] And I don't think she talked that much, but she had one. Mm-hmm. She's gave me some pussy and there was a Greek guy that had it
[00:39:44] That kid's incredible wait that would her voice could do that I mean
[00:39:48] I think or it's only when you use an actual useful voice with you
[00:39:54] Her voice is differently abled okay, I see but that that kid dude how much does that thing cost?
[00:40:00] I want one I kind of won't play that again one more time. It looks so fun. He's incredible
[00:40:22] I love that kid. Yeah, he's very I mean you said little kid. I did not think someone that little yeah, he's little like six
[00:40:29] There's also more light skin than I imagined
[00:40:32] Interesting yeah, but I was I was picturing a much darker child. I was actually picturing a white trash. Yeah. Yeah interesting
[00:40:39] So yeah, so that's that let that be a lesson. Yeah, I'm trying to get rid of my my sort of disdain for the light skin
[00:40:52] Anytime you talk about Nick, he's always talking about how much you like the funny of a religious cigarette that gets like
[00:40:58] Don't get me started on them light skin film light skin boys just getting all the pussy
[00:41:06] Whatever they want with their green eyes speaking of getting pussy. Yeah that
[00:41:11] It lute you with no no you want to bet with Mac weld
[00:41:21] Oh, yeah, yeah, you can get pussy from you'll be taking your Mac weld and underwear off to get pussy when you finally get it
[00:41:28] For by wearing the Mac well, you know, I had a fun thing
[00:41:31] You'll finally get pussy from wearing Mac welded that you want to keep it on while having sex
[00:41:35] Mm-hmm. You're using the hole. I had a fun thing happen. I was wearing Mac weldens and
[00:41:41] The part that covered the penis was a darker blue for some reason than the outside part
[00:41:47] And I was after eating pussy for a while because I'm a gentleman. I eat pussy first with a top hat on
[00:41:54] I was eating I had a bib and a top had a monocle and the monocle popped off because I once I see the pussy
[00:42:02] So it's all part of his cummerbund. It's all fucking it's all part of the production and
[00:42:09] My it was finally my turn to get my razzle dazzle the I am with the I'm a theatrical when it comes to getting pussy
[00:42:25] Naked other than wearing a jacket. I tell you always dress
[00:42:28] Yeah, anyway my underwear came off and it was a darker blue than the rest
[00:42:34] That's that is me dude. I don't care. He's so good. Oh, he's not take that back. He's cool
[00:42:45] Voice and a speech and stop saying that about Porky Pig who I did like as a child for no reason did you I did
[00:42:54] Anyway, it looked I was asked if I had already come in my pants in my Mac weldens because it was a
[00:43:02] Trade and I said no and so and she was like wow
[00:43:08] Now I get even more cock and that's right a woman just like
[00:43:13] Men like preparing herself to not look shocked that you came in your pants. No she was shocked
[00:43:18] Thank you very much. Yes, you're like because I made no
[00:43:21] In my day was very hard and I made no indication that I
[00:43:26] Guys probably gonna come in his pants. No, she said it like what she was confused because of how
[00:43:32] Firm my erection was it was not the kind and maybe that a little something to do with a different sponsor that I won't name right now
[00:43:38] Because they are not paying for anything
[00:43:40] Currently who damn this Yosemite Sam Roadrunner Taz bugs Daffy Sylvester Tweety Porky Tuxedo vest
[00:43:48] It's awesome. I'm gonna have to order that for my cousin's wedding. So anyway, my point is
[00:44:03] Yeah, something that shows a little as bad but it's still black and white
[00:44:22] It's such a substitute teacher that you just know is gonna be tortured the second you see them
[00:44:27] When they have a vest wearing that kind of a vest. Yeah, but it's a man for sure if it's a man
[00:44:32] That's that's what we called fresh meat. So let's say anyways back
[00:44:36] Well, I don't know where it looks like you came in your soul
[00:44:38] It'll look like you busted but then and so the girl for a second will be upset
[00:44:43] But then guess what you didn't bust you have plenty of cock to give her and you've made her night
[00:44:48] So get Mac Weldon's if you want to pull the wool over a woman's eyes
[00:44:53] It's polo season and the new silver knit polo is available at Mac Weldon featuring the cotton blend fabric and anti
[00:45:00] Microbial ionic silver design to keep you cool and comfortable from the golf course to the backyard cookouts
[00:45:24] I think that's a little I don't think the copy that specific copy was saying that I think that's more just a general
[00:45:34] Do you don't think that that's what that means design to keep you cool and comfortable the two features of each?
[00:45:44] Cool black people yes and come white people are comfortable. Yes. Yes like people are always uncomfortable
[00:45:49] I mean, yeah in this socio economics. Yeah, usually all right
[00:45:54] And then what's the next part from the golf course to the backyard barbecues?
[00:46:01] Steph Curry loves to go am I wrong tiger woods likes to golf the question for the jury is am I wrong?
[00:46:07] barbecue, what's it is like and everyone likes to barbecue cookout the cookout?
[00:46:15] Anyway, yes, I do think I think Mac Weldon does want all races to use their their
[00:46:21] Products, but I don't think that's what that the intention of the copy was well the name Mac is a is that traditionally black
[00:46:28] That's true. Why are teacher was my middle score teacher's name Mac daily?
[00:46:32] Mm-hmm. How awesome is that it was you good?
[00:46:35] Let's go to the next line here as Michael Jackson famously said it doesn't matter if your color is black and white
[00:46:46] Explicit I don't believe that's can I see where it says you may have heard?
[00:46:55] Claim that Mac Weldon clothing is only for one race
[00:47:02] But I'm not a freak. I'm not a porky pig impression. It says let us be clear
[00:47:07] We're Mac Weldon and we're gay we're gay we're good closer for everybody
[00:47:12] We got underwear the options tops and accessories the accessories that seems to be mass cock rings cock rings
[00:47:22] Fucking socks and shit like that. It's pretty cool. I do wear the underwear. I like it. Me too
[00:47:31] But when I say the dumped out pile of clothes from the laundromat on the floor
[00:47:35] And I go through the section I've sort of discriminated all the underwear into
[00:47:41] I will use up all the Mac Weldon underwear
[00:47:44] I have maybe four pairs and it takes me about I'd say 27 days to go through all four of those pairs
[00:47:53] I have more and I like them. Yeah, and they make my cock and balls feel nice. Yeah. Yeah
[00:48:01] What about you Adam I have probably the most out of all you don't yep, and I've paid full price
[00:48:09] I didn't even use the come to as promo. We're gonna do this. We're gonna do that
[00:48:13] They also have the Mac well, how much I respect them as a company Mac Weldon blues
[00:48:22] You get let's says you click on his here. It says get retarded with Mac Weldon blue
[00:48:31] What was our loyalty program pull of insider perks savings
[00:48:37] You are taking some liberties with this copy. I'm reading what it says on here. Does that not what it says?
[00:48:46] Weldon blues our loyalty program full of insider perks savings and bragging rights to be yeah, that's all was a wrong insiders
[00:48:58] See it sounded like you said not here the man sounded like you said
[00:49:02] Insiders, why would you say that? That doesn't even make sense?
[00:49:05] Okay, it's being a common member. Maybe your head
[00:49:08] You gotta remember just create an account and make a purchase
[00:49:24] Click get started here. I'm gonna enter my
[00:49:42] Okay, I'm actually gonna do that because I got a hold the microphone with one hand and yeah and text with the other and I
[00:49:48] Sure, I can only do that. I can only do that while driving
[00:49:55] Okay, so where do I let's go ahead and try to buy something and figure out what the free shipping on orders over $50 and loyalty perks
[00:50:05] But I figure out what the promo code is by trying I like this new method of figuring out the promo code by
[00:50:10] By buying something buying something all right, so let's go ahead and put the
[00:50:16] Just add the cart the purple smoke flavor
[00:50:28] Full name where the fuck do you put a problem
[00:50:31] You know what in fact I think you can just you can just go to
[00:50:35] Backwell and slash comtown or some shit
[00:50:40] Let's see the promo code so it's probably come town if it's not it's come town 20
[00:50:50] Underwear photographs to see what they look like on a guy the ass is actually my ass
[00:50:56] Can you see their Cox? I know but they show their their tight cheeks
[00:51:00] And that's actually my ass your ass is a little as fuck. No my ass is actually you've got no cakes whatsoever
[00:51:08] Yeah, Macquoden from socks. It's the gens men's genuine essentials brand that believes in
[00:51:15] Smart designs high quality fabrics Macquodens sure it's the same shit. Oh
[00:51:23] Excuse me business insider come town 20 for your order visit Macquod calm slash come town 20 and enter promo code
[00:51:30] Come town 20 to receive 20% off your first order
[00:51:35] It's backwell calm slash come town 20 you get 20% off your first order
[00:51:44] Suck knowledge they want you to be comfortable
[00:51:47] So if you don't like your first pair on under you can keep them
[00:51:53] And they'll still be fun first pair of what I don't know I forget I forget what happened
[00:51:57] So let's just not even talk about it. I
[00:52:00] Like to wear the stealth the Macquoden stealth eight inch boxer brief
[00:52:08] Well, you like to wear it's where the day to all the size is by by the by the dick sizes
[00:52:13] Yeah, you have to measure your dick. Yeah, I get the eight inch actually
[00:52:16] Don't little snug no, you don't so it's a good you can fit his and his boyfriend
[00:52:23] That's unrealistic how do you feel comfortable?
[00:52:26] How can you walk around wearing one pair of penis?
[00:52:32] When we pair penis pants called being in love player. Yeah, I guess you've never been in love Adam
[00:52:38] I'm constantly in love. That's true. I'm falling in love every day. My wife constantly share clothes
[00:52:48] It would be nice to just pretend I have I'm married and have a wife
[00:52:51] Yeah, just complain about it. I constantly just describing a boring life with some person that doesn't exist. Yeah, I
[00:52:58] Want that and then when people find out like people don't even think twice about it
[00:53:01] And then they find out that I'm unmarried and I live alone in the UPN apartment
[00:53:05] Like wow that is a tragedy. That's really I mean, that's worse than finding out he has a drinking problem. Oh, yeah
[00:53:17] Maybe it's time I yeah, I'm gonna now I'm gonna piss and then when I come back we're gonna talk about Ashley John
[00:53:23] Okay, why don't you guys tell the guys about some t-shirts you can buy out of my cookout
[00:53:28] Come downtown sounds good. You can do the read for my t-shirt
[00:53:34] Set business, okay, so while next in the bathroom you can go to a website come downtown
[00:53:39] Mm-hmm and get some really exciting designed t-shirts. Oh, yeah, and you can also go to stavi.biz
[00:53:48] And get some other t-shirts and then we will be we've got a couple nice and you
[00:53:58] I'm fucking going on tour and I haven't really announced anything yet, but
[00:54:02] Ugh shit's coming. Let me see if I can find some of these dates and nothing
[00:54:09] We have committed to bringing back our show
[00:54:13] We're trying to figure out how to bring back funny moms. Hopefully we'll be soon the target date is late May
[00:54:19] But we will keep you posted. Oh, yeah, here's you we're doing we really miss doing it
[00:54:23] I'm going to Portland, Seattle the Salt Lake City Denver comedy works
[00:54:36] Tampa Boston all at the end by this year
[00:54:39] Details coming soon if you live in one of those cities you can go check your comedy clubs. It's probably just like
[00:54:48] Clarity's wise guys should be on the calendar, but a formal announcement coming soon
[00:54:56] And the be it the veterans of foreign wars doing the
[00:55:00] W halls holes my dick sucks by some old vets
[00:55:08] Yeah, so Ashley Judd Nick wanted to talk about what about this is an idea Ashley jugs mm-hmm
[00:55:14] And she's exactly the same but with fat fucking tits. No, I just I was trying to remember
[00:55:20] Let's try to remember with that clip of her on stage or whatever that event was where she said the nasty woman thing
[00:55:26] No, she is an ass. Yeah, where she was she read like a child's poem
[00:55:30] Well, no, Donald Trump called Hillary Clinton nasty woman and then Ashley
[00:55:37] Ashley Judd was like I am a nasty woman
[00:55:42] And I started to remember the line because I couldn't and would put into my head was Ashley Judd saying I am a dumb bitch
[00:55:50] Yeah, and yes, sir, and that made me laugh
[00:55:58] Laugh how did your wife was like that is that's that's just wrong in your wife's like Nick
[00:56:04] You know, I'm still with her and I'm tired of you back talking. You know, I'm like, you know
[00:56:08] I'm voting for Hillary and you're not allowed to vote
[00:56:14] You're not allowed to vote if you want head for me once every two months
[00:56:32] Every two months every cure prisoner. Yeah getting rations
[00:56:37] No, thanks. Uh-huh. I went to a waffle house
[00:56:41] Recently, I don't know why I do that every time I'm like I go there. I'm like this is where yeah
[00:56:46] Yeah, well the food the food itself is like it's fine. It's bad. It's just the place. It's always like sometimes you catch
[00:56:54] They're like let's just leave garbage on the tables permanently. Yes everything sticky always
[00:57:00] There should just put a sign up that says please bust your own table. Yeah, everyone would do it
[00:57:05] It said that they like have the the pretense of their being like full. Yeah. Yeah, just admit you're mik donald
[00:57:11] Can you still smoke your break reds and wall? No, no, what are you talking about?
[00:57:15] When I first went to one that everyone's smoking cigarettes. No, that's not true. I thought it was pretty cool. You're lying
[00:57:22] Where was this when was this I think in south carolina
[00:57:26] I wanna say it's fucked up because it's like it's a full-service restaurant
[00:57:29] They do that so they can pay the waitress last but then the waitress doesn't do any of the things that a waitress does
[00:57:35] Which doesn't like incentivizes people to not tip. Oh, they also they're not tipping on like
[00:57:39] A fucking like seven dollars three dollar breakfast. Yeah, it's like nothing
[00:57:46] But uh, yeah, I just I couldn't find the Perkins, which is what I really wanted
[00:57:51] I got something very perky for you. What your nipples
[00:57:58] Dude, honestly, that is a parm. We should make another man suck your nipples. Yeah, that's the kind of shit they do in uh
[00:58:04] In the movie Chinatown. That's true. Yeah
[00:58:11] Yep, we're uh Jack Nicholson or Jay. Yeah, john he said makes Jack Nicholson
[00:58:20] Uh, that's a good movie, honestly. Yeah, when was the uh, I'm gonna be real last time you saw mr
[00:58:28] Well, maybe you could suck on my nipples and I'd give you an answer
[00:58:37] Well, what if I held a gun up to your head
[00:58:43] Okay, um the movie speed but instead of a bus it's uh
[00:59:00] Shit, what is driving down the bomb goes on immediately because he's
[00:59:05] Because of the wires. Yeah, this is to me electricity wires so fucking true. There's too many fucking wire
[00:59:11] The moral of the story is that we need to move away from electric cars and electric cars
[00:59:18] Because there's a lot of stuff like that. They didn't even consider. Yeah, that's fucking true pop quiz hot shot
[00:59:24] You got an electric car. There's a bomb in it
[00:59:29] But it goes off right away because of the wires
[00:59:32] Mm-hmm. He's got a point. That's fucking true. That's true. Can I see your pussy Sandra? Yeah
[00:59:40] I would like to see Sandra Bullock's pussy. I haven't seen it. You have yeah, no
[00:59:45] I have from where you just go up to her and ask her really she'll show it to you. Yeah. She's actually very
[00:59:54] Yeah, even though Jesse James would wreck that pussy. I still want to take a
[00:59:58] No, I don't care. You don't I don't think it's rest. Yeah, I was right
[01:00:03] He didn't wreck it, but I just don't like the fact that she fucked Jesse James. Those are my apartment
[01:00:06] I don't blame women for their past. I was in my I don't own her back. Yeah, but I can judge her for one of her things that I thought
[01:00:13] When I lived on the upper west side when I lived on the upper west side, I was like uh
[01:00:18] Um, I was like dumping a bucket of diarrhea at my window. They don't plummet. Yeah. Well, it's like kind of like an old school in New York
[01:00:27] Plumbing yeah, I dumped a bucket of diarrhea all over Sandra Bullock said while she was walking that street and I was like, oh my god
[01:00:33] I'm so sorry. She's like it happens all the time
[01:00:47] And I was like wow check out miss congeniali yeah
[01:00:50] Yeah earned that nickname. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, the real life
[01:00:54] And you're like you're like I can can I introduce you to mr. Congeniali and you have you have mr
[01:01:00] written on your penis. It really really small font
[01:01:14] I don't know what I think I'm been waiting you
[01:01:19] You're the zebra. I've been waiting with this bucket of diarrhea
[01:01:37] My mom would tell me when I was a baby. I had the biggest dick she'd ever see
[01:01:41] And so I thought it was big as an adult
[01:01:49] Dripping and she's dripping a diary and she's like that is the sweetest thing I've ever heard
[01:02:44] It's really upside down and I'll fuck up
[01:02:47] You're running it from your range point?
[01:02:59] I feel like you had one of those earlier
[01:03:01] I did, I did, and it put me in the zone for a second
[01:03:06] Mr. Khan, she got me really nice, we did
[01:03:18] Well, that's the kind of stuff that could happen in a New York minute
[01:03:26] It's true, it happens every fucking day
[01:03:31] Well, I probably said it on the show before
[01:03:33] But I remember when Jesse James cheated on her
[01:03:38] It was something that we were all supposed to be mad about
[01:03:47] Also it's fucking Jesse James, you think that guy's not getting some trash
[01:03:50] No, I thought that he was a good guy honestly
[01:03:53] Wasn't he also like racist or some shit?
[01:03:57] I thought he would just at least be good to us
[01:03:59] I think you're thinking is everyone else named Jesse in the world
[01:04:03] I think he might be confusing him with every single guy named Jesse
[01:04:09] Now I'm remembering every guy I know named Jesse
[01:04:14] They're all funny and they're all racist
[01:04:18] guy named Jesse that's like I think probably become rich racist
[01:04:22] It's one of the most standard types of racist
[01:04:24] But you know like who I think went to like
[01:04:32] I could see him being coming over racist
[01:04:53] Because you're doing that overly serious face
[01:05:10] Well I'm thinking about all the guys named Jesse that I've met
[01:05:25] It's probably one of those ones where it's like
[01:05:46] at one spot in time there were Jewish kings
[01:05:48] Is a figure describing the Bible's the father of David?
[01:06:19] I think I pitched that as a sketch to something
[01:07:05] And how come I'm always seeing them at the club
[01:07:09] And you're always seeing me at the bank
[01:07:30] There's so many in the fucking archives too
[01:07:37] People listen to the show for about three weeks
[01:07:41] So we get enough people to come in for three weeks
[01:07:47] You fucking plow through for three weeks
[01:08:39] As soon as she takes you back to her place
[01:09:05] I like to go through a woman's pubic hair
[01:09:14] Like she's at Ellis Island or something
[01:09:17] I go through a woman's pubes with chopsticks
[01:09:36] Dude, coming in your pants is so goddamn
[01:09:48] I've had a few people come in my friend
[01:09:52] It would be funny to come in your pants
[01:09:55] No, it's like making out with a girl and
[01:10:05] The fireplace afterwards and you're like
[01:10:26] Like what I'm gonna grow up and be a business
[01:11:28] Just put the M word on the end of that one
[01:11:48] Yeah, I'm gonna kill Jotham and then the N word again
[01:12:00] Let's try and work this in the banks or coupons
[01:12:07] That's just a follow up to the last statement
[01:12:24] Oh, it just sounds like a toothless guy
[01:12:29] Just trying to speak a sentence about revenge
[01:12:45] How can you hear those names and not be like
[01:13:31] The black's to the black's scare podcast
[01:13:42] Black Anna is just like have you ever read
[01:13:51] And they're like yeah we know they're like
[01:14:04] Why don't you pull up the red scare podcast