[00:00:00] Feel the rain on my dick, everyone can see your penis.

[00:00:06] Everyone is laughing at it.

[00:00:08] Everyone can see my penis pulling it out in the rain.

[00:00:13] Here's my dick, it's out of my motherfucking pants.

[00:00:17] Look at my little dick, I want you to get it signed.

[00:00:21] And my wand ever serves a faggin,

[00:00:24] I'm the only one that's strange,

[00:00:26] but my dick, but my dick is small.

[00:00:28] This is more to fuck a woman.

[00:00:31] If it's not gonna have to kill myself,

[00:00:33] so I have to get fucked in my ass.

[00:00:36] Even though I'm not gay, I just wanna be a part of it.

[00:00:41] I just wanna have friends.

[00:00:43] I just want these guys to like me.

[00:00:46] I'm trying to act in movies.

[00:00:49] I'm trying to ingratiate myself to them,

[00:00:52] so they will let me play.

[00:00:55] I got who's straight in an X-man film.

[00:01:00] I wanna be an X-man,

[00:01:02] and I'll do good shit for it.

[00:01:05] I want to be Nightcrawler,

[00:01:08] fade me blue and fuck my ass.

[00:01:10] I've been raped 18 times.

[00:01:13] And I was at one time,

[00:01:16] I thought I was gonna be in a Motorola commercial.

[00:01:21] They were putting phones in my ass.

[00:01:26] It was actually just another rape.

[00:01:31] It's something they filmed in.

[00:01:34] And I won't get to be an X-man.

[00:01:39] Yeah, shout out to who's that Natasha Peddingfield?

[00:01:44] Hello, cameo.

[00:01:47] My name is Adolf Hitler.

[00:01:50] Whoa.

[00:01:52] Adolf Hitler here on cameo.

[00:01:56] Is that what he sounded like?

[00:01:57] You may know me.

[00:01:58] That was his speech voice.

[00:02:00] He was English.

[00:02:01] He was very charismatic.

[00:02:03] Yeah, yeah.

[00:02:04] He was a lot of yelling in German,

[00:02:06] but I guess...

[00:02:07] In German it sounded more than age.

[00:02:08] We're gonna clean up the country.

[00:02:11] Oh, wow, folks.

[00:02:14] They're a parasite and they control all the money

[00:02:16] and all the businesses.

[00:02:18] And if that's not enough for them,

[00:02:20] they gotta sexualize our women

[00:02:23] and destroy our nuclear families.

[00:02:26] Yeah.

[00:02:28] Whoa, is that what they're doing?

[00:02:30] Yeah, except this time I'm talking about white men, folks.

[00:02:33] Uh-oh.

[00:02:34] Oh, fuck.

[00:02:35] Oh, fuck.

[00:02:37] The CIA here for Woke,

[00:02:39] Jack Hitlerson.

[00:02:42] Jack Hitlerson.

[00:02:43] My name's Jack Hitlerson,

[00:02:44] and I work at the CIA.

[00:02:47] Yeah.

[00:02:49] Uh-oh.

[00:02:50] No one else can see my dick.

[00:02:52] Just you.

[00:02:53] Yeah.

[00:02:54] You all had...

[00:02:55] A magnifying glass.

[00:02:57] Fuck my ass and suck my penis.

[00:02:59] Yeah.

[00:03:00] I can't...

[00:03:01] Yeah.

[00:03:02] Yeah.

[00:03:03] Make me put on a nice dress.

[00:03:05] What was the other with a little red Corvette,

[00:03:07] but it's...

[00:03:08] Yeah.

[00:03:09] Oh, yeah.

[00:03:10] Maybe I'm much too gay.

[00:03:12] Little dick factory.

[00:03:14] Yeah.

[00:03:15] I'm paying you all much too.

[00:03:18] Yeah.

[00:03:19] Little dick.

[00:03:21] My heart is fucking small.

[00:03:24] Dude.

[00:03:25] Yeah.

[00:03:26] Little red

[00:03:25] go.

[00:03:26] That's a good one.

[00:03:27] Mm-hmm.

[00:03:28] Mm-hmm.

[00:03:29] Mm-hmm.

[00:03:30] Ah, I fucking love Prince, dude.

[00:03:32] I hope this is somebody's first time listening to this show.

[00:03:35] Me too.

[00:03:36] So it's...

[00:03:37] Yeah.

[00:03:38] Welcome to Comton.

[00:03:39] Three minutes and 30 seconds of this,

[00:03:40] and they're like,

[00:03:41] which one's the fat guy that I heard about

[00:03:43] on the Manage forums?

[00:03:45] On the Manage forums.

[00:03:46] Yeah.

[00:03:47] We've actually...

[00:03:48] Patreon's been pumping.

[00:03:49] Are you serious?

[00:03:50] Well, I need to bump up in my fucking Manage forums.

[00:03:51] Manage forums have been finding...

[00:03:52] If we're getting a lot of you fucking subs off the Manage forums,

[00:03:55] I'm gonna need a little tick up on my fucking face.

[00:03:57] They're like, oh my God, our God.

[00:03:59] Our King has a pumpkin.

[00:04:02] I just like this picture's on Instagram.

[00:04:05] That's right.

[00:04:06] I'm the only one that's fucking inspiring.

[00:04:08] Mm-hmm.

[00:04:09] That stops gender is happening.

[00:04:10] I don't know if we've ever mentioned this on the show,

[00:04:12] but it was very funny when we got to Sydney

[00:04:14] and you said to that girl,

[00:04:15] so I'll see you at the show tomorrow night,

[00:04:17] and she's like, what show?

[00:04:18] I just like your pictures.

[00:04:19] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:04:20] I'm gonna girl that fucking...

[00:04:21] Because she just liked the fucking guy's...

[00:04:22] Yes, you thought she was a fan.

[00:04:23] That was a great fucking moment in my life.

[00:04:25] That's happened a couple times,

[00:04:27] and it means so much more than...

[00:04:28] You got chase from the ponk.

[00:04:30] You got chase from the ponk.

[00:04:31] I wish I could be fetishized in any way.

[00:04:33] The hunter has become the hunter.

[00:04:34] That's right, dude.

[00:04:35] I'm not in any of those categories.

[00:04:37] What do you mean?

[00:04:38] Like the weird, like...

[00:04:39] You get to just fucking be a regular guy

[00:04:41] that gets pussy.

[00:04:42] What do you mean?

[00:04:43] Yeah, but I wanna be some weird...

[00:04:45] You get pussy you don't deserve

[00:04:46] because you got good bone structure.

[00:04:48] I have to carry a burn.

[00:04:50] I have to get Botox every three weeks.

[00:04:53] That's true.

[00:04:54] Nick's raising the reason nightmare usually.

[00:04:56] I look like a Korean.

[00:04:58] How much work it takes to keep that up?

[00:05:00] I think you've done stuff.

[00:05:02] Yeah, dude.

[00:05:04] Yeah, you'd death Adam.

[00:05:05] You absolutely...

[00:05:07] Oh, I know.

[00:05:08] That fucking snaz those glasses.

[00:05:09] Yeah, of course.

[00:05:10] I ham it up.

[00:05:11] You're fucking bomb-sneezed.

[00:05:12] I sneeze out the cocaine like in any hall.

[00:05:15] Yeah, you've done that in many times.

[00:05:18] I didn't know what you did.

[00:05:19] You have prop cocaine so you don't actually waste any time.

[00:05:22] I don't want to waste some money.

[00:05:23] Yeah.

[00:05:24] It's expensive stuff.

[00:05:25] And then when they find that out,

[00:05:26] they're even more.

[00:05:27] Yeah, they're even more...

[00:05:29] That's all of the poor people.

[00:05:31] These people, they bring fake cocaine to parties.

[00:05:34] So they can pretend like they're contributing

[00:05:37] and then they just sneeze it everywhere

[00:05:40] and draw attention to their nose.

[00:05:42] Yeah.

[00:05:43] Which they think is superior.

[00:05:44] It's true.

[00:05:45] Here at the CIA, we're figuring out another way to get them.

[00:05:48] I got to say, I hate your nose Adam,

[00:05:50] but a girl with a big nose, I do like.

[00:05:52] You like a girl with a big nose.

[00:05:53] Some about your nose is just...

[00:05:55] Why don't you like my nose?

[00:05:56] It's not even that big.

[00:05:57] You're...

[00:05:58] Your nostrils are too long.

[00:05:59] I know it's going to be a hell of a lot bigger than your nose.

[00:06:01] Your nostrils are too long.

[00:06:02] I have long nostrils.

[00:06:03] That's my thing.

[00:06:04] I haven't trimmed my nose hairs in a couple months.

[00:06:08] I can't see them from here.

[00:06:10] And also, I got to say, it's not a great shape from the profile.

[00:06:14] What do you mean?

[00:06:15] I don't have that bad...

[00:06:16] I don't have a bump.

[00:06:17] I barely have a bump.

[00:06:18] I like a bump.

[00:06:19] I'd love to shoot him right in the fucking face.

[00:06:20] A bump in the face.

[00:06:21] You know what I mean?

[00:06:22] Have you brought it up talking about it?

[00:06:24] Yeah, just scrape...

[00:06:25] Just scrape...

[00:06:26] ...fuckin' BAM!

[00:06:27] You're gonna know that...

[00:06:29] You're so right Nick.

[00:06:31] I was...

[00:06:32] I can say afterwards, only afterwards you'd be like, no, I'm just playing.

[00:06:35] I was kidding.

[00:06:36] I was grand-

[00:06:38] I was considering quarantine getting a line of ass.

[00:06:40] If I had a little like...

[00:06:41] That would have been awesome.

[00:06:42] If I had a little like...

[00:06:43] You came out with a button nose?

[00:06:44] I came out with a small nose.

[00:06:45] Place a remote control from click.

[00:06:47] I'd be shooting the Adam in the face and rewinding constantly during the show.

[00:06:51] The recorder still works.

[00:06:53] It doesn't...

[00:06:54] It's regular technology.

[00:06:55] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:06:56] So the...

[00:06:57] I would just blast.

[00:06:59] That would be awesome.

[00:07:00] You're gonna hear Adam shrieks of death 100 times.

[00:07:03] Stop!

[00:07:04] Stop it!

[00:07:05] And then just play em' out.

[00:07:06] And it's all over the wall.

[00:07:08] Yeah.

[00:07:09] And then we rewind.

[00:07:10] That's what the movie click was about.

[00:07:12] That's sort of what the movie The Prestige is about.

[00:07:14] Mm-hmm.

[00:07:15] Yep.

[00:07:16] Yes.

[00:07:17] I'm still thinking about Adam with a Maggie Jilling Hall nose.

[00:07:19] A little upturned button nose, dude.

[00:07:21] Yeah, my old pal Maggie.

[00:07:22] I would love to fuck you if you had a nose like that.

[00:07:25] Um...

[00:07:26] Somebody photoshop Adam with a little nose.

[00:07:28] I want to see what it looks like.

[00:07:29] I got...

[00:07:30] I like my nose.

[00:07:31] Adam Freed's nose.

[00:07:32] I think I used to...

[00:07:33] Adam Freed's a lot of knife.

[00:07:34] Not like it.

[00:07:35] I don't have a...

[00:07:36] Listen, it's fine.

[00:07:38] It serves your purposes.

[00:07:39] I know it's fine.

[00:07:40] You could have a lot worse than the nose.

[00:07:41] I don't want to fuck somebody with your nose.

[00:07:43] See, that's a problem, though.

[00:07:44] You're in an uncanny valley where it's not that good.

[00:07:47] It's not that bad of a Jewish nose, but it's not a regular nose.

[00:07:52] Exactly.

[00:07:53] Yeah.

[00:07:54] I want them real bad.

[00:07:55] Real big.

[00:07:56] You want to fucked up.

[00:07:57] You want to fucked up, too.

[00:07:59] Subs in uncanny hidden valley.

[00:08:01] I am and I'm slurping up all the range.

[00:08:03] I got one of those beer helmets, but it's like on either side of it.

[00:08:08] And Subs in a John Candy Valley.

[00:08:11] I'd love these.

[00:08:12] You're one of my favorite actors.

[00:08:13] You can't tell if he's John Candy.

[00:08:15] He's probably gonna be probably...

[00:08:17] Is that a robot or is it John Candy?

[00:08:20] Yeah.

[00:08:21] I can't tell.

[00:08:22] You're like, no, it's famous pedophile stuff or something.

[00:08:25] Wait a second.

[00:08:26] You can call me fat.

[00:08:28] It's a good pedophile.

[00:08:30] I love it.

[00:08:31] Can we put a kibosh on the pedophilia, Joe?

[00:08:34] Please.

[00:08:35] Well, I remember there was this MTV True Life that she's like, I'm 900 pounds or whatever.

[00:08:41] And the lady had the Costco Hidden Valley in her purse.

[00:08:45] Which rocks.

[00:08:46] In her purse.

[00:08:47] In her purse.

[00:08:48] What's Costco hidden down?

[00:08:49] Like the Costco size.

[00:08:50] Like the family.

[00:08:51] She had the travel size.

[00:08:53] She had to come through with that.

[00:08:56] Yeah.

[00:08:57] Like the one you get at the supermarket.

[00:08:58] She used to rock up to restaurants.

[00:09:01] Is that Hillary Clinton?

[00:09:02] Well, no.

[00:09:03] No, for a...

[00:09:05] That's her Huckabee Sanders.

[00:09:06] I love to watch...

[00:09:07] I keep hidden valley in my bag.

[00:09:09] I love to watch the doctor from my 600 pound life lecture Hillary Clinton.

[00:09:14] You're out of too much of a dumb bitch.

[00:09:16] Looking at the chart, you have to be 10% less dumb bitch before we can do the surgery.

[00:09:22] Dude, make you an even less-shoving dumb bitch.

[00:09:27] All those doctors are in Houston, Texas.

[00:09:29] Those like fat doctors.

[00:09:30] Yeah, they're on the average fat in Shenandoah.

[00:09:32] Shenandoah in Shenandoah.

[00:09:33] Yeah.

[00:09:34] Damn, dude.

[00:09:35] Being so fat, you can't even get anti-fat.

[00:09:39] Shenandoah is a very funny town.

[00:09:41] I've never been there.

[00:09:42] Just such a fat place.

[00:09:43] I have a river.

[00:09:44] I was a hot bitch over in Shenandoah.

[00:09:47] I went...

[00:09:48] Actually, I went when I was very fat now that I think about it.

[00:09:51] Yeah.

[00:09:52] I won't.

[00:09:53] I'm not in San Antonio if...

[00:09:55] No, I was a fucking hot little slut around 300 bills.

[00:09:59] 300 pounds.

[00:10:00] I'm walking up...

[00:10:01] I'm walking up...

[00:10:02] Look at this new skinny bitch walking through.

[00:10:04] Blumbling up the river wall.

[00:10:05] That's Texas, San Oraxia.

[00:10:07] Yeah.

[00:10:08] Saw the Alamo.

[00:10:09] Oh my God, it's Callistuk Flockhart.

[00:10:12] I gotta say, they have those cool monasteries over there, dude.

[00:10:15] It's pretty tight.

[00:10:16] Alamo?

[00:10:17] Just in San Antonio.

[00:10:18] There's coolish that you'd think over there.

[00:10:20] Mm-hmm.

[00:10:21] I love mission style architecture, dude.

[00:10:25] I did a cannonball in a mission Chinese style architecture.

[00:10:29] I had a little mission Chinese strip recently.

[00:10:31] You know the other one got canceled for my girlfriend.

[00:10:36] Oh yeah, the chef was burning people.

[00:10:39] Your girlfriend?

[00:10:40] Which one?

[00:10:41] She told me they had to shut down the one in Chinatown.

[00:10:43] Oh, like before you suck my dick, I have to tell you.

[00:10:46] No, my girlfriend didn't.

[00:10:47] She doesn't sound like that.

[00:10:48] Mission Chinese.

[00:10:50] She's got a cannonball.

[00:10:51] No, no, no, no.

[00:10:52] I don't know all the details.

[00:10:53] Wait, is mission the one we went to?

[00:10:55] That's the one we went to.

[00:10:56] Yeah, we went to the Williamsburg one.

[00:10:59] You know what, I was thinking the other day, why the fuck was there never blazian food?

[00:11:03] Oh, yes.

[00:11:04] That'd be awesome.

[00:11:05] That would be cool.

[00:11:06] It's weird, because they, first of all, I feel like you would talk about CIA stuff.

[00:11:10] I feel like the blazian thing was a CIA thing.

[00:11:12] Mm-hmm.

[00:11:13] Because they existed for literally seven years and then disappeared.

[00:11:17] And it's crazy with all these people coming out for DMX, you'd see no blazians and he

[00:11:21] had the biggest impact on their community.

[00:11:23] Yeah, it's true.

[00:11:24] Well, I think the blazian community had a lot to do with Kamora Lee Simmons spot in the

[00:11:29] culture.

[00:11:30] Yeah.

[00:11:31] Baby fat when it was an ascendant brand.

[00:11:33] Well, DMX also added an Asian guy to the Rough Riders.

[00:11:36] Jen from, yeah, 106 in Parks Freestyle Fridays.

[00:11:40] Yeah, I remember that.

[00:11:42] Yeah.

[00:11:43] We talked about that.

[00:11:44] I remember that late 90s New York culture of all just Chinese rough rider bullshit.

[00:11:49] Yeah, that's true.

[00:11:50] They had a lot of Chinese shit.

[00:11:51] Yeah, they were.

[00:11:52] That was the peak of people getting Chinese tattoos that they didn't understand.

[00:11:55] Right.

[00:11:56] Which is so funny in retrospect is thinking of Chinese as this language that nobody speaks.

[00:12:01] So it's not, there's no point in even being on it.

[00:12:03] Yeah, you can just get a fake Chinese thing.

[00:12:04] Right, right.

[00:12:05] The most people on earth just read that fucking script.

[00:12:09] Yeah, I remember someone was getting, I think, Kenyon Martin, because Jeremy Lin got a

[00:12:13] lot of Chinese, Jeremy Lin got dreadlocks.

[00:12:15] I remember that.

[00:12:16] And they were like, how dare you culturally appropriate.

[00:12:18] And then Jeremy Lin was like, look at your fucking tattoos.

[00:12:21] He just had a bunch of Chinese letters while I was in the room.

[00:12:25] Yeah.

[00:12:26] He rocks too.

[00:12:27] But that's what that brand super dry is.

[00:12:28] It's just like Japanese nonsense.

[00:12:30] That's right.

[00:12:31] Yeah.

[00:12:32] It's not a Japanese brand.

[00:12:33] It's always like Italian dads that like super dry jackets.

[00:12:36] Outback steakhouse of jackets.

[00:12:38] Yeah, what if they got mad about that?

[00:12:41] Who are the Japanese?

[00:12:43] Australian's.

[00:12:44] What are they like?

[00:12:45] This is cultural appropriation.

[00:12:46] This is cultural appropriation.

[00:12:47] You're like, well, you don't have a culture.

[00:12:49] Yeah.

[00:12:50] Yeah, you got me there.

[00:12:51] Guess I'll go drink paint, then.

[00:12:53] Yeah, what about, well, back to back down in six with animals.

[00:12:57] What about drinking paint?

[00:12:58] No, we've got.

[00:12:59] That's our baseball.

[00:13:00] They got bogans or whatever.

[00:13:02] That's what they call hillbillies.

[00:13:03] Yeah.

[00:13:04] Bagan's.

[00:13:05] Yeah.

[00:13:06] B-O-G-G.

[00:13:07] Yeah, yeah.

[00:13:08] G-G-E-O.

[00:13:09] Oh, my God.

[00:13:11] Mm.

[00:13:12] Mm.

[00:13:13] Marge is like, do you have any boob?

[00:13:16] Well, you mean bargains?

[00:13:18] No, boob.

[00:13:19] Mm.

[00:13:20] B-O, you know, Marge is like, N-I-I-B-O-G.

[00:13:29] A classic scene from the scene.

[00:13:32] Mm-Marge keeps asking if they have the N word in Australia.

[00:13:36] Bart had a collect call that went too long.

[00:13:39] That was a great episode.

[00:13:40] That's one of the best.

[00:13:41] Yeah.

[00:13:42] Yeah.

[00:13:43] Homer cries when they change the toilet to flush the bag.

[00:13:45] All the small jokes in that episode are fucking top tier.

[00:13:49] It's the best.

[00:13:50] Nifing smoothie.

[00:13:51] This is a letter from Australia.

[00:13:52] Yeah.

[00:13:53] Letter from Australia in the stamp says, 30 years of electricity.

[00:13:56] Yeah.

[00:13:57] Yeah.

[00:13:58] The Aussies can suck my fucking hard cock.

[00:14:02] Yeah.

[00:14:03] Well, they did that.

[00:14:04] I'm concerned.

[00:14:05] Yeah, we have no respect for you.

[00:14:06] But the New Zealander is tremendous.

[00:14:08] The Kiwis.

[00:14:09] Yeah.

[00:14:10] Shouts out to them.

[00:14:11] Shouts out to all of them in the hot pit.

[00:14:13] Shouts out to them.

[00:14:14] Shouts out to the Shire.

[00:14:15] I recently read all the Lord of the Rings books.

[00:14:18] Mm-hmm.

[00:14:19] And I got to say I'm a big fan and I'm excited.

[00:14:21] I watched the first 20 minutes of the Fellowship of the Rings film yesterday.

[00:14:26] Oh, okay.

[00:14:27] And I'm excited to get into the whole thing.

[00:14:29] Cool.

[00:14:30] So I just want to put that out.

[00:14:31] Good luck, bro.

[00:14:32] I'm excited.

[00:14:33] I'm starting my journey.

[00:14:34] I'm excited to watch the guy that's in the...

[00:14:36] Three movies that everyone's seen.

[00:14:37] I've never seen them.

[00:14:38] Go quick.

[00:14:39] Just as a formality, Lord of the Young and Rings.

[00:14:42] Okay.

[00:14:43] That's going on the board.

[00:14:45] That's in there.

[00:14:46] Going on the board.

[00:14:47] Yeah.

[00:14:48] Lots of the Lord of the Rings.

[00:14:50] The Lord of the Shores.

[00:14:51] There's a lot to go.

[00:14:52] Yeah.

[00:14:53] Yeah.

[00:14:54] Were we supposed to go to New Zealand on the last Australia tour?

[00:14:56] Lord of the Cheese String.

[00:14:58] Lord of the Cheese String.

[00:14:59] That's cool.

[00:15:00] Sab, were you supposed to get Pussy in New Zealand for our tour or something?

[00:15:03] I think.

[00:15:04] You're like, we got to stop there so I get a couple Pussy's.

[00:15:07] I think certainly I would like to try and fuck a woman in every country that we're in.

[00:15:11] New Zealand's kind of a hot girl country secretly.

[00:15:14] It is.

[00:15:15] They have hot girls.

[00:15:16] Yeah.

[00:15:17] And they have hot people in general.

[00:15:18] And now that I'm super charged with the Shire, we definitely got to go.

[00:15:22] We got to go to New Zealand.

[00:15:23] I need to get Pussy at back end.

[00:15:26] You know what I'm saying?

[00:15:28] Yeah.

[00:15:29] I need to get Pussy at the top of the door.

[00:15:30] I need to get my Dixx on the board.

[00:15:32] I want to get my Dixx at the top of the Misty Mountain.

[00:15:35] They got good jeans there.

[00:15:37] I'm cursed.

[00:15:38] I'm going to look like a child until I look like fucking the Rocky's trainer.

[00:15:44] Yeah.

[00:15:45] The key gold.

[00:15:46] He got Pussy that guy.

[00:15:47] So I'll be either.

[00:15:48] People were saying he's a big guy.

[00:15:50] I'll be 16 and then suddenly I'll be a fucking, I'll be Burgess Meredith.

[00:15:56] Burgess got Pussy though.

[00:15:58] Yeah.

[00:15:59] Oh yeah.

[00:16:00] Burgess definitely got Pussy.

[00:16:01] I believe I was listening to an old podcast that Michael Rappaport was on and he called

[00:16:06] him a famous Hollywood stick man.

[00:16:08] Wow.

[00:16:09] Burgess Meredith.

[00:16:10] Wow.

[00:16:11] Yeah.

[00:16:12] He got more Pussy than anybody.

[00:16:14] Kevin Durant.

[00:16:16] Also Burgess is a great name.

[00:16:19] Burgess Meredith, your name, your first name doesn't make sense.

[00:16:22] Your second name is a woman's name.

[00:16:25] You don't care.

[00:16:26] Bustedes.

[00:16:27] Bustedes.

[00:16:28] Bustedes Meredith.

[00:16:30] I can't wait to get Pussy on the open fields of Rohan.

[00:16:34] Bustedes inside.

[00:16:36] Yeah.

[00:16:37] Mm-hmm.

[00:16:38] I can't wait to go find the eye.

[00:16:40] Oh yeah.

[00:16:41] If you don't talk about the clip.

[00:16:42] The brown eye.

[00:16:43] The brown eye.

[00:16:44] I'm trying to get some about John Fox on the ass.

[00:16:47] You my brown eye girl.

[00:16:49] Yeah.

[00:16:50] That's what that's about.

[00:16:51] That's about Van Morrison pretending a man's ass is a pussy.

[00:16:56] Do you remember when we used to pretend you're assboy?

[00:16:59] Your ass was a pussy and I was a pussy.

[00:17:04] That's a good one.

[00:17:12] I'm throwing my day in the book, man.

[00:17:16] My day in the fucking small rhyme day.

[00:17:21] I'm plugging gay in the plan.

[00:17:23] I'm putting my day in the small rhyme day.

[00:17:26] I want to just fuck your ass.

[00:17:30] You'd suck my addict.

[00:17:34] I hate Van Morrison.

[00:17:35] What do you remember when?

[00:17:37] Oh, but you got to listen to ass.

[00:17:39] We had gay sats.

[00:17:40] You got to listen to asshole weeks.

[00:17:42] That's the week.

[00:17:43] That's the week.

[00:17:44] That's a good record.

[00:17:45] That's the ass.

[00:17:46] Asshole weeks by the asshole weeks by the morning.

[00:17:49] Dude, I'm going to go to New Zealand and have sex with the prime minister.

[00:17:52] Yeah.

[00:17:53] Oh yeah.

[00:17:54] She's hot.

[00:17:55] I'm trying to get just in the pussy.

[00:17:58] Yeah.

[00:17:59] Just in the pussy.

[00:18:01] Yeah.

[00:18:02] They say they put on the tip, just in the pussy.

[00:18:05] I like her big teeth.

[00:18:06] For a second.

[00:18:07] I like big teeth.

[00:18:08] She said they cannot put on the tip, just in the, in the urine.

[00:18:12] She's just in the pussy.

[00:18:14] Who just in the fuck?

[00:18:15] Clark Gaford.

[00:18:18] Rose was it.

[00:18:19] Last day was Gaford.

[00:18:20] Yeah, right.

[00:18:21] Come on, bro.

[00:18:22] We're coming for that pussy.

[00:18:23] Come on, bro.

[00:18:25] You better hand that pussy over.

[00:18:27] Give it over.

[00:18:28] You can use the easy wear, the hard wear.

[00:18:31] Clark, you are my penis, girl.

[00:18:33] Clark, we're going to fuck your wife.

[00:18:36] And then we'll fuck you in the ass.

[00:18:41] He's actually a good looking guy.

[00:18:44] Who Clark Gaford.

[00:18:46] But he got a hand to pussy.

[00:18:48] Let me see what Clark looks like.

[00:18:50] Shout out to Jacinda for not taking the Gaford name.

[00:18:53] Absolutely.

[00:18:54] Yeah.

[00:18:55] Do you remember when...

[00:18:56] You didn't be very funny crime is using like a hot air balloon to look like.

[00:18:59] He looks like he's a MLB.

[00:19:00] Using a hot air balloon to like, uh, not hot.

[00:19:02] He's not hot.

[00:19:03] He's not hot.

[00:19:04] For a politician.

[00:19:05] He looks kind of like looking Jimmy Kimmel, honestly.

[00:19:07] He just looks like a Jimmy Kimmel with less of a, a chin.

[00:19:12] In our world.

[00:19:13] What is that supposed to mean?

[00:19:16] I'll fuck this guy up.

[00:19:17] What is that?

[00:19:18] Cock two twins.

[00:19:19] If you can guess the song, you get the fuck stop in his ass.

[00:19:23] No.

[00:19:24] Is that heaven or Las Vegas?

[00:19:25] Jacinda R word.

[00:19:26] Is that this bitch's name?

[00:19:28] Yeah.

[00:19:29] Jacinda Rizzard.

[00:19:30] Jacinda R word.

[00:19:31] Yeah.

[00:19:32] Yeah.

[00:19:33] She does have some big ass teeth.

[00:19:34] She got some big ass.

[00:19:35] Try to get my nuts chomped on my nose.

[00:19:38] Yeah.

[00:19:39] You know, Jacinda, you trying to nibble?

[00:19:41] What's the sheesh?

[00:19:42] On the huge tit scale.

[00:19:43] What are we doing here with Jacinda R word?

[00:19:46] Um, I wouldn't say she...

[00:19:48] She's like pregnant and shit.

[00:19:50] Oh yeah?

[00:19:51] Look in this picture, she's like being the president and pregnant.

[00:19:53] Damn.

[00:19:54] They're so progressive over there.

[00:19:56] Yeah.

[00:19:57] They let a pregnant bitch be the president.

[00:19:59] Tits.

[00:20:00] No!

[00:20:01] Laughter.

[00:20:02] Clargafered.

[00:20:03] Fuck, clargafered.

[00:20:04] My man, I can suck my dick.

[00:20:05] My man, I can suck my dick.

[00:20:06] I thought I was gonna cut it off.

[00:20:07] My man, I said, what?

[00:20:08] Oh my God.

[00:20:09] Oh my God.

[00:20:10] If I could just send the art in tins, a picture of AOC's cans.

[00:20:15] That's awesome.

[00:20:16] That's awesome one display comes up. She's got AOC teeth

[00:20:20] It would be funny if like the capital did get like rated all the way and it becomes like the his historical event

[00:20:26] like you know like

[00:20:27] The storming of the Bastille or fucking the Russian Revolution and in a hundred years like people just looking at paintings of AOC getting titty fucked by that guy

[00:20:36] Beagle

[00:20:37] It's like something that happened. You gotta put his feet up on Nancy Pelosi's desk

[00:20:42] Yeah, that's that's the thing is like that's how you know it wasn't a coup cuz she didn't get titty fucked

[00:20:46] I feel like that would be the first order of business

[00:20:52] I was there. Well, I thought it like I don't give a shit about any of this politics stuff

[00:20:56] I got one thing in mind. Yep. Some of us have own personal demands

[00:21:01] We have our own and it's a broad coalition. It's a big tent coalition

[00:21:05] And I'm the one make pitch it. I think I would I think I don't know that rape would be at the top of the list. It's not rape

[00:21:15] It's a revolution

[00:21:19] It's what it's it's fucking it's a communist revolution dude

[00:21:23] That's calm. Yeah, all any kind of violence that happens in the service of a larger progressive political shift is good

[00:21:30] Okay, it's called moral relativism and I've used it to just to justify the titty fucking

[00:21:38] That I would like to participate in

[00:21:40] against all odds or and to you that she's just a she's a symbol of the state

[00:21:47] Yes, it's not even about the person. I'm I would be in there titty fucking everything

[00:21:52] I saw right and you just happened to be one of the things being titty fuck right right the first thing

[00:21:58] I'm titty fucking the Constitution right yep, you're getting paper cuts up and down your dick

[00:22:05] I'm gonna roll the

[00:22:11] Treasure yeah, but like but fuck the scrolls. I love that. Yeah Nick Cage has to fuck the scrolls to find the treasure

[00:22:20] You got a titty fuck the

[00:22:22] I'm gonna fart titty fuck a or see to figure out where they kept all the stash your liberties pussy gold

[00:22:29] Yeah

[00:22:30] Dude Clark Gavered is the host of a fishing television show. Wow. That's pretty cool. That's deadliest gash

[00:22:38] Mm-hmm. I gotta say it's about cushy dreams or something

[00:22:42] It's pretty cool to know your president was getting nutted inside while she was president

[00:22:47] That's awesome. Yeah, and they never got married

[00:22:49] It's better having bastards

[00:22:51] Hey, you know blue cheer or something tell them about that is a blue cheer or because you're a cushy dreams in about

[00:22:57] 20 minutes maybe oh, yeah, it's blue cheer now or it's blue cheer now folks. I'll tell you

[00:23:03] Gavered it's a time of the show where we we talk about and this is you know honestly

[00:23:09] I'm glad it's cushy dreams in blue cheer this week

[00:23:11] Two of our sponsors that I actually use to a degree that some might even refer to as criminal. Yeah

[00:23:20] Which one is really important when I

[00:23:24] Rock hard and high out of my mind

[00:23:27] Video the video of the guy smoking the joint in the cap of a return that was actually cushy dream

[00:23:32] That's what that's what's funny about that was in America any type of political movement whatsoever

[00:23:38] We get there's always a weed thing. Yeah, you have like a name-blah protest

[00:23:43] I were like we should be able to fuck kids and they're big guy. That's like it's just a plant man

[00:23:47] Dude, I remember you gonna make a plant illegal during Trayvon

[00:23:52] I was with Nick on the train and he's like there was that they're having a huge protest in Union Square and Nick was like

[00:23:58] We should just go down there with legalizes

[00:24:00] Just like we

[00:24:05] Can get mad at you because I just think you're like some weed

[00:24:09] Yeah, kind of like you can copy and paste it over you can like co-op down

[00:24:14] You know that was a big part of occupy too. Yeah, oh for sure

[00:24:17] I had neighbors when I when I keep I was going on there were like we're going down there dude

[00:24:21] They're finally gonna it's gonna be legal

[00:24:23] And it's like how how out of touch are you?

[00:24:27] Yeah, it's crazy that it is legal and no one really cares

[00:24:32] Yeah, I mean maybe we're just out of the demographic that does care anymore

[00:24:36] But no one's like running down the street being like we did it. That's because we've got much better drugs now

[00:24:41] Yeah, I also even able to get weed here pretty easily. Yeah, I guess it if this happened for years

[00:24:46] Do you want to do weed or would you rather do cocaine ketamine and Molly all at the same time? Yeah?

[00:24:52] I'm I can't do that shit man. I would die. Yeah. Well, that's kind of the I would rather do cuz I would rather

[00:25:00] Blue chew. Yeah, take some chewable cuz I love sex and that means I love blue chew calm

[00:25:05] Well, that's the thing that's something that's important to note is that

[00:25:08] The New Zealand's first bloke. Mm-hmm. What's his name?

[00:25:12] Gave for gay for God God Fagari

[00:25:15] Clark Gave for a lot of people know this he was taking blue chew. Yeah, we're coming back

[00:25:21] We're here down in New Zealand. We're getting a rock star piece of Prime Minister pussy

[00:25:28] Dictators dames and

[00:25:32] Diggery doo's didgery doo there you go. Thank you

[00:25:36] Clark Gaveord was actually busting loads in the Prime Minister with the help of

[00:25:42] Blue chew calm blue chew calm if you like sex you're gonna love blue chew calm. It's a website that sells

[00:25:49] For free by the way

[00:25:51] If you use our promo very inexpensive promo code come town

[00:25:56] 20 or come down come down come down where you know the deal folks they try them both try them both try both promo

[00:26:03] Both from a close one will work on the robocow your roommates information and get the free sampler twice

[00:26:09] Only percent you would think by now they would become town 21, but mm-hmm, but maybe it has to do with the 20%

[00:26:16] I think it's more

[00:26:17] Well, don't you give your first order free first order is pretty shit

[00:26:22] It was just 2020 was one thing I don't remember any of the promo codes ever being come town 19 never never

[00:26:29] I think they were com town and they updated it to

[00:26:32] The point is you want your cock hard

[00:26:35] We know who's listening right now a bunch of limp dick pieces of shit some spaghetti dick noodle even the girls even the girls

[00:26:43] So blue chew is a driest fuck you get look if you're a girl get blue chew for your boyfriend pull a little

[00:26:49] Elliot pay

[00:26:56] You know get you get put on you put your best Elliot page outfit together get on the zoom call and say

[00:27:01] My dick doesn't work

[00:27:03] Work well you don't have to get on zoom call. I don't think I think you got it through you got a zoom

[00:27:09] No, the thing is there's no yeah, there's no for whatever reason. We didn't have to I think we got a do

[00:27:14] Nurse we got grandfathered into the old school operation, which is just one Russia guy

[00:27:18] I said a wink wink in a yeah, I had to do a nurse practitioner and she had a love in center asshole

[00:27:24] Mmm. Yeah, she didn't yeah, I was giving her a token. No

[00:27:27] It's not what I've said to see a liver worse practitioner. Oh, there's a woman with a bunch of bronze swagger shoved in her pussy

[00:27:34] That stuff had to eat out

[00:27:36] What's a branch while it's a sausage bran swagger's a it's I think it's the same thing as liver worse

[00:27:42] Worst is a sausage, right? Yeah

[00:27:45] Brat verse how do you not know what bronze vigors?

[00:27:49] Not that much of a sausage job doesn't like it's good. It doesn't like the Nazis. Oh, we gotta get we got it

[00:27:54] I'll make you the sandwich, okay little sauerkraut bronze swagger, okay, yeah, I open face melt some provolone

[00:28:01] It sounds pretty good on those are the those are flavors. I'm not that not that into you know

[00:28:07] I like liver deli with deli mustard sauerkraut Nelson provolone on top not a sauerkraut guy got to be honest with you

[00:28:14] I'd like more my sausages are more of a country style village sausage not this fucking German shit

[00:28:20] That's true Adam you were correct. I don't really fuck with the crowds on a solidarity. That's all

[00:28:25] That's right, dude, and you know what that's not forget

[00:28:28] They tried to come over here and fuck up grease as well

[00:28:30] I mean they they succeeded because they were taking blue chew. Mm-hmm. It's blue chewers chewable tablets

[00:28:36] Well, they succeed they're not pills. We're not allowed to call them pills

[00:28:40] No, we're not allowed to say that the the chewables are blue chews blue chewers the name of the company companies blue chews

[00:28:48] sell to sell chewable they made it very clear the active ingredients of

[00:28:54] Vibrance that someone was very mad at us for referring to them as pills

[00:28:58] Yeah, and we actually and that I we don't think that stupid we don't agree

[00:29:04] We agree and they like to keep getting money

[00:29:07] From them well mainly we'd like to keep getting pills if we yeah, yeah, we get paid in sorry not pills

[00:29:13] You become pills when I get them. Yeah, I'll call them whatever I want in my home in my own home

[00:29:20] They belong don't tread on me. They stay go to blue chew and buy the chewables from them

[00:29:27] With promo code come down and then call them whatever you want and then when they arrive at you tear up the end-user

[00:29:33] Agreement and call them whatever you want. They can't boss you around but us

[00:29:37] Were their little fuck taste the same ingredients?

[00:29:40] They take the tablets and they fuck our ashes and then they leave

[00:29:45] Advertising payment on the night stand to dolla fillin the dolla fill in gelada

[00:29:49] Gelada gelada gelada

[00:29:50] Gelada fill something like that, but it's the same active ingredient not the same ingredients because mine do these tastes like candy

[00:29:59] As Viagra

[00:30:00] Yeah, this isn't some gas station bullshit no you don't have to take street overlord anymore

[00:30:06] You don't have to take rhino plus some of some of the world's greatest men were actual blue chew customers

[00:30:15] Including Clark in charge of a bird when she gave her a teddy rosophill a zombie lot friends

[00:30:21] I am not lying when I tell you my dick does not work

[00:30:27] It's small

[00:30:29] But with the help of chewable tablets

[00:30:31] I have the confidence to go west and fuck

[00:30:39] Young man go west and fuck native young man

[00:30:44] We must be like the spanners can keys to doors and rape our way through the west

[00:30:49] Oh a grand tradition of American rape to be restored on January 6 at the Capitol

[00:30:56] Thanks to blue chew by me Teddy Rose drops the teddy fucking bad boy

[00:31:05] Of Rio de Janeiro

[00:31:15] At blue chew calm so go to blue chew calm if you want to rape like telling no in-person doctor visits no awkward

[00:31:22] conversations just a quick zoom meeting with some dumb bitch

[00:31:32] Good thing we didn't call them pills though

[00:31:39] Just Adam what are you talking about your experience with a little zoom call my talk to her

[00:31:43] Wasn't a rough place she helped me out

[00:31:46] Got the pills and this was just after Adam's wife had left him a wife left me and he was having trouble getting hard

[00:31:52] For this 17 year old 17 year olds just weren't hidden like they used to

[00:31:58] So I needed pills to help me out. Yeah

[00:32:01] Mm-hmm and why don't you tell us about that time you were?

[00:32:04] Jacking off on cam and then it was like a guy that came on the camera. That happened

[00:32:10] Yeah, yeah, that did happen on chatter babe. Yeah, and then they tried to black no not chatter

[00:32:15] But chat real that yeah, they tried the black now you right. Yeah, and then I just this was recent too, right?

[00:32:20] No, I was like no, this is like when I moved to New York. It was before we started the show. Oh, yeah

[00:32:25] No, I was on chat roulette and

[00:32:28] Some some guy in Morocco. It's like brought to you by blue children

[00:32:37] And some chick was some chick was on it, but it said location Morocco

[00:32:41] So that should have been a tip off because she was a white girl, but I was like maybe it's like yeah

[00:32:45] She's on holiday. Yeah, how about less Rocco. Yeah

[00:32:49] And then she was like you want to do on this socialist

[00:32:53] She wanted all the things from saying all the things journalists on Twitter say

[00:33:00] Sure to Skype me

[00:33:02] And I assumed that meant that she was gonna show me your breasts. Why did she show them to you on fucking chat? So

[00:33:08] well

[00:33:10] You know because the Chinese are monitoring it. It's Chinese spyware because everyone knows

[00:33:15] So I've skyped her and then she was like kind of like showing me cleavage

[00:33:21] And then she's like alright

[00:33:22] Can I tell you what I want? I was like okay?

[00:33:25] And she said I want to see your penis and then she said I'd like you to turn around and show me your asshole

[00:33:31] I was like why would a girl?

[00:33:33] Why would a girl want that?

[00:33:36] And then and then the screen went black and then there was like on the dialogue like the chat is like alright

[00:33:42] And then they showed me the video of me

[00:33:47] You're beating off me show me the video of me. Did you like me so my penis and then show my asshole?

[00:33:52] Oh, you did show your asshole. Yeah, I was like if this chick was it

[00:33:57] You're a tits I was pretty lonely at the time

[00:34:01] And then did you spread it? Yeah, she's like show me your asshole

[00:34:06] So you know you don't write you spread your whole I spread my cheeks and exposed my whole I suppose

[00:34:13] And then I guess the video is out there somewhere some Moroccan guy

[00:34:17] He's like listen man. He's like my boss needs money. He's like I can't he's like we spent too much time on you

[00:34:24] I can't like step away without

[00:34:27] Getting any money for this and I was like dude. I literally don't have any I was like I'm died

[00:34:34] I just don't have any money. Yeah, I'm not even lying. I'm Jim and then he's like we found your Facebook

[00:34:40] That was like what he's he's like and then it's he like told me my parents names or something because you saw it on my Facebook

[00:34:47] And then I just blocked him and I was like alright. I guess my mom's gonna see my asshole

[00:34:53] And then just nothing happened there so nice

[00:34:57] You beat it, baby. I guess so but that guy still has that video. Maybe he's a fan of the show. Hopefully

[00:35:02] Not it was a fan of show you would have posted it by now. I think it would have posted it by now

[00:35:08] But yeah, I guess that's a fairly common thing that happens

[00:35:12] What the fuck is the point of the let me see your asshole part to make it a girl video gayer

[00:35:16] Yeah, it may look gay to make you to make you seem like I guess just in his country. That's like the death

[00:35:23] You get stoned to death. Yeah

[00:35:25] Hmm, but yeah, I was like I was like 23 it's that breach your hands are shipped to you and discreet packaging

[00:35:36] So you go promo code come

[00:35:43] That's sort of sponsored. Yeah, we use them we love them and if you're trying to be like us

[00:35:50] Mm-hmm. If you want to be like the cool guys just like on the radio show

[00:35:55] You'll do good. They'll take a blue chew. You'll sign up for karate classes at ultimate military experience

[00:36:03] Adult karate you'll become a 40 year old man that

[00:36:07] Rumbles around with other 40 year old men. Yeah, when I when I'm ready to jits with my me my partner

[00:36:12] Are jits or me my partner jits in with each other? Yeah

[00:36:16] There's nothing I love more than taking a couple of blue chews

[00:36:20] Let me tell you something you'll love it, but your partner will love it even more. Yeah my my jits partner your

[00:36:26] One my combat and he's I've liked so much respect for these guys

[00:36:30] The man I respect the most as a 47 year old man is the man that teaches me

[00:36:47] I'm 42

[00:36:49] He's 47. I have so much respect for him 42. He's 36 and I respect he's 24 years old and I admire that young man. Oh

[00:37:06] Yeah, baby, mm-hmm. We should also say if you want to hear more episodes

[00:37:10] See my grandpa would do that but he like used to old for karate

[00:37:14] So he would do it with like the guy that showed him how to use the battery tester at AutoZone

[00:37:18] Yeah, he'd be like this young man Carlos. I I love

[00:37:23] He's like more of a grandson than you ever will you know, I love that young man

[00:37:29] Maybe he wants a fuck yeah, if you want to hear more episodes of the pod we should go to patreon.com slash come town

[00:37:35] slash come town now over 300 bonus episodes come out every week

[00:37:41] Let's start the show. Let's start the show. There's not to eat. There's two two hundred and 18. I think all right

[00:37:47] What I'm gonna have 270 who fucking cares I in my opinion 300

[00:37:53] So go fucking check those out and is moving 300 good

[00:37:58] Rewatch probably not I loved it when I was set, you know 16 or whatever cuz it was your history

[00:38:03] I was high as shit. It was my history. Yeah, yeah, I was fucking

[00:38:08] Blasted for that. Oh stop stop identified with the Persian guy that wouldn't that one the highest I've ever been in

[00:38:14] Balding yeah balding I was not bald then I'm not bold now

[00:38:19] It's true. I was both for a brief time of my life dark time three times like a Charlie Brown style young man

[00:38:25] The amount of hair follicles left on staff's body. No, I just wait

[00:38:31] No

[00:38:34] millimeters

[00:38:37] That's my dicks

[00:38:39] No chance fuck that's three centimeters this and then

[00:38:42] No, it's 30 centimeters 30 centimeters is like what like 15 inches

[00:38:53] Yeah for sure stops got a 15-inch thick and that's the blue shoe Karen T

[00:38:59] Baum Baum, I'm sure it's bad. I'm sure 300 bad now, but at the time it hit just right

[00:39:04] Yeah, that was definitely one of the highest movies I've seen that in the marine

[00:39:07] I was like in capacity of going into that. I saw it opening like a midnight midnight showing of the marine the opening night

[00:39:14] It was me and my friend and then this like 28 year old woman and her like 15 year old son

[00:39:20] Oh, yeah, I

[00:39:23] I brought a backpack of claws to Mortal Kombat last week. Yeah, I got pretty twisted

[00:39:29] I might start smoking weed again, but only at the movie theater. It's not a bad way to be

[00:39:33] Yeah, just like like just fucking taking an entire like joint to the face

[00:39:40] Doors no right outside right out you have to smoke weed legal directly outside

[00:39:44] No, you know, I would be moved used to be you just get as high as possible in the parking lot

[00:39:48] Right and then like run in and sit down with like with a big pretzels

[00:39:53] You just I'm like a Dixie cup with nacho cheese and it to dip the pretzel in I'm all I'm a tradition

[00:40:00] I'm a popcorn guy. No, I mean I need the biggest fucking box of popping dipping the cheese pretzel in there being high out of my

[00:40:07] mind watching like wicker man

[00:40:09] Some of the best days of my life the highest I saw one of the fat I think fast five mm-hmm

[00:40:15] Abs could not tell you one second of what happened like I was so fucking high

[00:40:21] I was me and eldest and we just kept hitting a fucking we've been in the fucking in the fucking movie

[00:40:26] I remember I was just I got drunk for GI Joe. Mm-hmm, and I could not I just I mean I remember I wasn't blacked out

[00:40:33] I remember sitting there and trying to understand the entire

[00:40:38] Just being like what the fuck is going on. I also did that with with

[00:40:44] fuck what's a

[00:40:46] 21 Jump Street the sequel 22 Jump Street. I had a show at the auto bar and

[00:40:51] And then O'Brien was going to see the late the late showing of

[00:40:58] 22 Jump Street pretty funny for answers and I was I was getting free drinks

[00:41:04] I was still drinking a lot of the time and the I was getting absolutely blitzed on a fucking vodka suit nose

[00:41:11] tequila ginger rails, you know, and

[00:41:15] There was absolutely nothing doing getting pussy wise, so I figured why not go

[00:41:19] Mm-hmm. Why not see my boy Ben, and I just ate I literally sat down shuffle the large popcorn in my mouth

[00:41:27] Went right to sleep

[00:41:31] $30

[00:41:35] An avatar I got a bucket of new castles and I drank all six of them during the previous

[00:41:42] First like five

[00:41:44] I knew I made it to like just the part where they put him in the avatar. Yeah, I was gone

[00:41:51] Doctor Strange I fell asleep off the edibles

[00:41:55] The new King Arthur the guy Richie King Arthur don't remember one moment of it

[00:42:00] I am so high I might want to try actually cushy dreams and that's true that would help it makes you smarter

[00:42:06] In fact you remember all of them and that's the evils of marijuana because I've probably watched so many movies

[00:42:12] I don't know what the fuck is this what?

[00:42:15] Doritos nacho cheese is yellow in Australia. It's gay. That sucks

[00:42:19] And we didn't we see that I feel like now that I'm remembering Australia

[00:42:23] I feel like that was like the one thing I learned while I was there that Doritos were yellow for a different guy

[00:42:29] In the opera house and there was that's the Indian tourist alafah, so we left I

[00:42:34] Went twice

[00:42:36] That beach these shout out to would have bond on the coast the beach next to bond

[00:42:41] I James Bondi we went we were told there'd be too many tourists at Bondi

[00:42:47] We ought to go into James Bondi beach

[00:42:51] That's where you should have gone to laugh it in the end for us

[00:42:56] Cushy dreams.com is your one stop shop for getting your dick sucked by some CBD

[00:43:02] Smokeable flower. That's right. If you've tried CBD in the past the oils

[00:43:06] You know that they're bullshit and it's fake and you dig anyone who hasn't has a fucked up little you should know that

[00:43:13] That's right CBD oil is a scam snake oil. It does not snake oil itself is probably better for you

[00:43:20] I can tell you that's taking snake oil. There's one thing it's like well

[00:43:25] Absolutely protect you from the coronavirus. That's true. That's true. No reason get you high. No reason to get the vaccine

[00:43:34] Yes

[00:43:35] Cushy dreams that she dreams as the copy. Yeah, they say don't take the vaccine smoke cushy dream

[00:43:45] It is

[00:43:47] 100% legal

[00:43:50] Smokeable flower it smells like weed that's gonna as someone that doesn't even like smoking weed personally

[00:43:57] I was apprehensive about smoking it because you still have that fear. It's like I'm just gonna be too high right

[00:44:02] It's like that kind of quality. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I'm like feels like real weed

[00:44:06] It's like this is just gonna fuck me. I can't won't be able to get anything done all morning

[00:44:10] Right, but then you smoke it and you're like oh all my anxiety is gone. This is like very nice

[00:44:17] Mm-hmm in a good mood. I'm able to be funny

[00:44:19] Yeah, and you maybe get 30 minutes of that before that part of your brain takes over that says this isn't self destructive enough

[00:44:26] Right, it's time to do cocaine. Where's the actual car drugs? Where is this?

[00:44:31] But there's a nice you got a half hour

[00:44:34] Let's put some heroin in my head. You got a half hour where you watch the beginning of good fellows drink a diet coke

[00:44:39] Yeah, and have a really nice 20 22 minutes. It's very good. They got nine. They got hustle energy

[00:44:45] Peace. Yeah create retard

[00:44:49] Re-rejuice what's retard. I think is how you pronounce it. Yeah, they all want called not gay

[00:44:54] Yeah, okay, you're guaranteed not to do any gay shit or have any gay thoughts are gay anymore

[00:45:02] Slime

[00:45:03] Slime that it's like that's slimy. I suppose

[00:45:07] The kind of pussy I mean me poos. I like the kind of pussy. This slimy

[00:45:12] They call me slimy

[00:45:14] They call me slimy because I never I get pussy and I leave my dick wet when I come back to hang out with

[00:45:20] When I come back to the picnic I got my dick out in this slimy

[00:45:25] And they said spider you're crazy. I am used to be spider, but now it's slimy

[00:45:29] Yeah, I have another's a different guy named spider and his name used to be Tweety Bird

[00:45:35] They want to be named Tweety Bird

[00:45:39] Yeah, this is our gang is Tweety Bird spider Hector

[00:45:43] Joker clown. Yeah Joker Tweety Bird. That's spider number two. I'm psycho. This is spider. That's slimy

[00:45:53] Nestor nester Hector Hector three

[00:45:58] Tweety Bird Tokyo drift

[00:46:04] Actually, Tokyo drift is another one. I was kind of high for oh because she dreams is a perfect thing to take while watching Tokyo dreams

[00:46:11] Mm-hmm, and when you smoke it you'll feel really got some Tokyo dreams get my dick sucked by Japanese girl with big ass titties

[00:46:19] Yeah, me too. You'll feel really good smoking cushy dreams smokeable CBD flower smoke it because you can it's independently

[00:46:26] And there's even when you sneak that slogan into a bunch of other things. It's still fucking so stupid

[00:46:37] You can if you go to the website

[00:46:39] Website

[00:46:41] They sell eights and they sell pre rolls love the pre rolls

[00:46:44] And they sell the pre rolls and grams and they also sell them the little five to be honest

[00:46:48] I don't know why you wouldn't just buy the pre roll well

[00:46:50] Some people like to mix things that because roll your own people like the ritual of yeah rich twisting up

[00:46:56] I yep, or you could even smoke out of a water pipe if that's your thing. Yeah

[00:47:00] Yeah, but it's really it is real smooth, you know, I like to I like to you know what I do like to spray menthol on mine

[00:47:08] Now that it's a to stand in solidarity with the black community. That was a wild take on social media

[00:47:13] No, do you see that shit? No, we're talking about like making a band all illegal and then or but they banning menthol and like cigarette production

[00:47:21] No, that's fine, and then everybody's like

[00:47:24] Just so they can arrest black eyes and it's like I grew most of the time

[00:47:28] Yes, but I don't think they're gonna be arresting black people for smoking

[00:47:32] Yeah, that's a little insane also. It's like that's just a stereotype

[00:47:37] It'll be very funny if they're like they're getting rid of fried chicken. Yeah, they're like oh wait

[00:47:41] What's next watermelon what's next not being around your kids who laid you're not allowed to drink cool aid need fried chicken anymore?

[00:47:49] it's like

[00:47:51] Maybe just wait

[00:47:53] Black people to complain about this

[00:47:56] Rather than jumping the gun

[00:47:58] And saying they want to take they wanted to yeah

[00:48:01] You're not in peace though cuz grape duchess are also in the mix that you want to talk about a ritual

[00:48:06] Yeah, go to royal farms getting a fucking grape Dutch rolling a little blunt. That's that's my fucking childhood

[00:48:12] Yeah, that's you're taking that away from you having fruit. It was the only part of the fucking that was awesome

[00:48:18] Buying two duchess fucking busting them open got to get the grape flavored ones me and my boy fucking Pete

[00:48:24] Me and our boy Tommy with the fucked up thing buys here

[00:48:27] Mm-hmm used to drive to fucking Philly to get cheese take smoking great blunts the whole way

[00:48:33] It was awesome. I wanted to do that a couple weeks ago, but it just sounded like not be worth it

[00:48:39] Just go to Philly. Just get a good

[00:48:41] Yeah, I mean I'll do that. I'll take we'll get a couple of Percocet take the Amtrak down there

[00:48:48] They'd cushy dreams calm. Yeah

[00:48:51] If you enter promo code secrets secret one eight two two six

[00:48:55] Yeah, they'll add Percocet to your order. Yeah, they'll sell inside of your ora lance

[00:49:01] Mm-hmm dude

[00:49:03] But listen you this is a beautiful product. We smoke it. I smoke it when I'm not getting off the sauce

[00:49:08] Nitrogen seal do something that I think is also on the web so I smoke the pre-mixed

[00:49:13] And I'm feeling fucking nice and if you want to be like us like we said go to fucking cushy dreams calm

[00:49:18] That's k us h white now email them and I asked them for if I could have some more products and they didn't email me back

[00:49:24] Wow really yeah, so I'm not guess I'm gonna have to buy my own cushy dreams

[00:49:28] I guess they just have to reply to every single one of our tweets. Yeah. Yeah, but not give us free shit. Well

[00:49:35] I

[00:49:37] Must suck man

[00:49:40] Yeah, in fact, I might have to buy my own duffel bag from Ridge wallet, but yeah, you know, that's how things go

[00:49:47] I guess maybe if you had a relationship with the people there, you know, I guess that's how things go

[00:49:52] We're the fuck is that gone? It's already gone. I told you there was a place that was going where was it?

[00:49:58] I'm not discussing it

[00:50:00] You know, I do a lot of community outreach. No way dude with the community. You've got fucking posters of fucking guys kissing in there

[00:50:09] That's where it is. Well someone else does now who asked for that? I

[00:50:13] Do a lot of stuff for the gay community. I suck their car

[00:50:16] I get backpacks and I fill up a gay porn. I bring it down to the gay bars. I go down to

[00:50:21] To Queen Victoria. Yeah, and I fucking hand out backpacks for the gay pornography

[00:50:27] And that's why good guy. Yeah, and I say God damn us everyone

[00:50:37] This is like tiny

[00:50:40] So yeah, cushy dreams.com K us H Y dreams promo code come town for 20% off your next order

[00:50:46] Mary game is everyone god damn us everyone damn us to hell god damn us to hell I'm getting a call from Benno Brian

[00:50:59] Wow his ears must be burning

[00:51:03] Hold on. Hey, man. I'm doing come town right now. You're on the phone

[00:51:13] Wow

[00:51:14] Anyway, I'm classic better here. You know what put him on the wire. We'll put up. We'll put you on

[00:51:18] Yeah, we got we got a lot so everybody can talk to you. Yeah, here you go. Oh, man

[00:51:24] This is this is

[00:51:27] Some real business, but you guys keep keep playing doing your little you know your little podcast

[00:51:34] This is a real business. It's a big time big time business. I'm probably gonna get I'm probably gonna go to prison for tax

[00:51:40] You know, I kind of wish I was always on the line for how often you guys are like trying to think of like a piece of trivia on

[00:51:48] The show that I absolutely know the answer to yeah, I hear that's

[00:51:53] What's Einstein's birthday

[00:52:00] Okay

[00:52:05] Wow here we got mr. Genius

[00:52:07] Coming in probably the most basic genius fact in the world

[00:52:13] It's like it's on the application the Harvard. It's the first question

[00:52:17] Then you went on

[00:52:25] I'll call you after

[00:52:27] I buy Dave that was Ben O'Brien front of the show head of the American Nazi party

[00:52:37] Yes, he is he's proud of the American cute guy party his cute. He's like Justin long without hair

[00:52:46] He does look like Justin long. He really does long and he sounds like Justin long's wearing a piece. Did you know no

[00:52:51] Fake penis well cuz he has hair. Yeah, just long as hair, but he's wearing a fake penis. He's got a piece

[00:53:01] That'd be great question for Oprah when Elliot Page comes on now Elliot. Are you wearing a piece?

[00:53:07] It's like what are you asking me are you wearing a fake penis around town

[00:53:17] Elliot Page goes on Regis

[00:53:19] Elliot tell us about the penis

[00:53:25] You're a fella now that's all fine and Danny when you go out of town you're out of here

[00:53:30] You leave the studio you're walking down Broadway. Are you wearing a fake penis?

[00:53:36] Is it a big one is it a small one is it floppy does it come hard? This is what people want to know

[00:53:43] Oh

[00:53:47] Talking about the pronouns what's the inches how are you measuring it? That's right is it bigger than mine is mine big is it small?

[00:53:55] I still don't know. I've never learned

[00:54:01] Damn dude, all right Pete. That's the biggest tragedy. We're never gonna get the Regis Elliot page

[00:54:07] You

[00:54:11] Let me ask you this so you're still shaving your pussy

[00:54:17] Because I guess it's a matter of hygiene, but if you want to if you're because you got to be thinking I don't have a pussy

[00:54:23] So you'd stop taking care of it if it was me it would look like Jumanji down there

[00:54:27] You have Rob Williams poking his head out saying I've been trapped in a board game for 30 years

[00:54:37] You ever see that picture earlier beautiful movie

[00:54:44] Usually I don't go for the artistic stuff, but that one got me that and Titanic

[00:54:50] Everything else I seen is how to have a dance number in

[00:54:59] Let me ask you that's a question if you're dancing with a girl are you leading now

[00:55:05] When you go out dancing with Danes

[00:55:09] Do they ask do you have to wear the penis to the dance

[00:55:14] You'll be at the Grammys next week

[00:55:16] Let me ask you something who did your penis for that?

[00:55:21] Who is Tom Ford doing your penis for the grams

[00:55:31] Tell he doesn't say a single word 35-minute interview silent

[00:55:36] You ever see those pandas we rented from China $10 million we paid for those things and

[00:55:47] They're what just fat Chinese bears

[00:55:51] It's fine I always thought that was funny Elliot

[00:55:55] Because we got bears and so does China and their bears

[00:55:59] They're very much just the Chinese version of bears

[00:56:02] Imagine a Chinese guy was a bear and that's what you get that's kind of like your situation

[00:56:11] In a round no don't leave

[00:56:17] Damn dude a fucking legend big Regis if only he could have lived to see Elliot transition

[00:56:24] So in the meantime are you getting your pussy sewn shot?

[00:56:27] I

[00:56:31] Exhated on the genitals I guess it's pretty good that you never really had a big pair of tits to begin with

[00:56:40] We all saw Juneau I mean if they had to cut off a huge parent it so it'd be a real tragedy

[00:56:49] It's not like we're losing you know Dolly Parton over

[00:56:53] It's not like we're losing Raquel Welsh

[00:56:59] You're already playing pretty close to the middle of the field is what I mean

[00:57:04] It's good. No, what are you doing? I said

[00:57:09] The door is locked

[00:57:13] Oh, man, dude, are they gonna have to make you a nipple smaller though

[00:57:17] Do you know what I mean?

[00:57:19] Because sometimes I've seen women that completely flat-chested, but they still got big nipples

[00:57:26] Have you considered in the future maybe breastfeeding

[00:57:34] Ellie just looking like as always about to cry

[00:57:39] Regis just keeps going

[00:57:41] I'm curious I want to know America's greatest interviewer

[00:57:54] I haven't really seen anyone with little titties with big nipples. I have to be honest. Well, it just says it happens it happens

[00:58:01] We are the little titties little nipples of course. Mm-hmm. I've seen some big nips and I am mad at them at all

[00:58:10] In fact, some might say my nipples are pretty large. Mm-hmm. So for you know for a woman for a man

[00:58:18] You got little ass nipples. I have small nipples small titty small nipples. Yeah, really little nipples

[00:58:25] Yeah, why did you decide to talk about your top surgery in Time magazine? I want

[00:58:38] I wish I was better at this. Sure, I man

[00:58:42] Two came in believing you yeah, you got your titties got off. Tell us about that

[00:58:47] about it

[00:58:48] for a

[00:58:50] Couple reasons I wanted to share with people just how much it has changed my life and right but you didn't have big titties

[00:59:02] Neither such lack of access or trans people. Let me ask you something

[00:59:06] Are you gonna start peeing standing up before you get the dick or what?

[00:59:10] healthcare and

[00:59:12] The reality of the healthcare is that it's supported by medical institutions and it saves lives

[00:59:18] That sounds fucking gay

[00:59:21] Tell me about the cock

[00:59:24] Lead and utter they're getting an utter

[00:59:29] Lies in terms of what they're saying about the healthcare and

[00:59:37] Believe it's life-saving

[00:59:39] and it's the case for so many people and

[00:59:41] And because there is such an attack on trans healthcare right now when I'll be

[00:59:48] There's such lack of access or trans people who don't even want to go to the doctor

[00:59:53] What you are hearing from certain lawmakers

[00:59:58] Are actual complete and utter

[01:00:01] Their other lies in terms of what they're saying about

[01:00:05] Did you hit Paul Ryan said I had a small dick. I never liked that guy. Yeah

[01:00:13] Is that what you're talking about

[01:00:18] Chuck Schumer said I sucked a cock at Burning Man two years ago

[01:00:23] I've never even been first of all it's pull a quiz it was Bonnaroo and what I did was I put a giant foam finger in my ass

[01:00:31] Which was funny?

[01:00:37] It was a joke it killed everyone loved it

[01:00:44] The healthcare and

[01:00:48] Children will die

[01:00:50] What's gonna happen next for you Elliot children will die okay, well, all right if you say so

[01:01:01] Thank you to our guest Elliot page

[01:01:05] Yeah, I mean I could just you watch that interview and you see this you know this this man on the verge of tears and

[01:01:11] Like yeah, that's definitely a guy

[01:01:14] I mean yeah, that's very that's something a guy would do. I don't know I cry a lot

[01:01:19] Yeah, that's what I would do you would be on Oprah snickering and trying to be funny and then flirting with open you

[01:01:26] She has a sex appeal

[01:01:30] Actually hot if you're in the same room are you trying to fuck my potion? I would love to fuck Oprah

[01:01:35] It's seven grams seven grams got the right idea. Yeah, doesn't even have to marry her

[01:01:41] He's just living off of billions of dollars

[01:01:44] Well, if you want fuck Oprah, you can go to cum.town

[01:01:47] Yeah, and you can fuck over there. I'm never gonna tell you what's on cum.town. You can go ahead and find out for yourself

[01:01:53] and

[01:01:55] Adam yes

[01:01:57] Is doing community theater I am that's true as the crowds come back to

[01:02:04] The play boxes in New York City

[01:02:07] I will be on the city. I do hope that we start booking shows and if only out of spite

[01:02:13] It would be nice if there's like another spike just after all the Walt comedians start doing shows again

[01:02:21] That they and so just so that we just get a taste of them not canceling any of the right doing them anyways

[01:02:28] The show must go on. Yeah. Yeah, and then it goes and then it goes away goes away

[01:02:32] But just to have them and they just get to see that it was full they were full of shit the entire

[01:02:38] Yeah, then they can claim to have long COVID. Yeah, I I stop it go to stop you dot biz

[01:02:44] I have some t-shirts. I also maybe by the time this is up. We'll have some dates announced

[01:02:49] Okay going like a nice long you'd like to announce the first date is with Arnold Schwarzenegger

[01:02:55] It's a guy I'm gonna kiss muscles. He's going. Yep. Yeah, he's gonna be like wow nice penis stop

[01:03:03] It's so tiny. No, it's big. It's like a baby's penis. It's not you're very nice, baby

[01:03:10] When I say I'm going to pump you up. I don't mean like that like you look like you're pumped up. Oh, whoa, too. Worry

[01:03:16] Sorry, sorry, I got it. I got it. Well, we have to end it. Thanks a lot. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Geez. It's my fault. I'm sorry. You completely blow it

[01:03:30] Elliot you blew it. What did it tell us about that? Now that you're a guy, do you feel you know, you're blowing it with women

[01:03:37] Yeah, no one it feels like to be a loser