[00:00:00] do wrong to do do now to do do actually, oh, blah, blah, blah, bam, ba, ba, ba, bah, ba, ba, bah, bah

[00:00:06] this is the fucking news with your host uh, I don't know, so this is the was super special

[00:00:13] regular episode uh post-election coverage we're sitting here right now, where it looks like

[00:00:19] nig closer.

[00:00:20] Ikh.sudo.

[00:00:21] K

[00:00:25] catcher.

[00:00:26] purom mont-

[00:00:28] This is my five time.

[00:00:30] It's in a way to die.

[00:00:32] A free recorded episode.

[00:00:34] And you know what?

[00:00:35] I'm with her, dude.

[00:00:36] I've been with her the entire time.

[00:00:38] And you know what?

[00:00:38] We knew that we were going to beat these bros.

[00:00:42] On the country, all these racist ass,

[00:00:44] these mayo ass crack of white boys.

[00:00:46] It's not their country anymore.

[00:00:47] We told them that all the POC women who are statistically

[00:00:51] 6% of the United States population,

[00:00:54] we're going to do it.

[00:00:57] We're going to make our voices heard,

[00:00:58] and we're going to get a yes queen into the White House.

[00:01:02] And we did it.

[00:01:03] We 100% did it.

[00:01:05] Feels good.

[00:01:06] Yeah.

[00:01:06] Folks, that's what we would be saying

[00:01:09] if we actually did pre-record this podcast,

[00:01:11] like a bunch of frauds.

[00:01:13] We really shit the bed because we only prepared pro Hillary.

[00:01:17] Yeah, she won stuff.

[00:01:19] Yeah, exactly.

[00:01:21] Like Hillary, we didn't even prepare a concession.

[00:01:24] So we needed the next 8 and 1 half hours to pout

[00:01:27] in the cryo chamber that's keeping us alive.

[00:01:30] In her Michael Jackson fucking bubble, zero gravity fucking

[00:01:34] iron lung that she lives in.

[00:01:37] Yeah, fuck man.

[00:01:39] So we're she's like, she's like, she

[00:01:41] slipped in that thing from a big Lebowski, the writer

[00:01:45] that got it right for branded.

[00:01:46] Yeah, the iron lung.

[00:01:47] Yeah.

[00:01:50] Listen, let me tell you something.

[00:01:52] I don't like liars.

[00:01:53] And if he doesn't throw her in jail, we should impeach her.

[00:01:56] That's what I'm saying, dude.

[00:01:57] I think that's why he's going to get impeached for not having

[00:02:01] Hillary Clinton placed on the National Mall.

[00:02:04] This is actually my idea of his plan

[00:02:06] to win back America's economic power from China

[00:02:13] is he's going to sell tickets to wealthy Chinese.

[00:02:18] I don't even know how you get wealthy in China.

[00:02:20] Shiny?

[00:02:21] Shiny is.

[00:02:22] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:02:23] You have to start a dirty.

[00:02:24] All the karate billionaires are trying to.

[00:02:26] They're going to buy tickets to watch

[00:02:28] Hillary Clinton get murdered on the National Mall.

[00:02:30] She enters her into a kumite.

[00:02:33] And they get the chance to fight her.

[00:02:34] OK, USA.

[00:02:37] No, I think it's going to be a brave Tiananmen style

[00:02:40] standoff where Hillary stands alone in front of a tank.

[00:02:42] He's just going to take waving to people.

[00:02:44] He's slowly up to run her over.

[00:02:46] But he's going to slowly crush her with a tank.

[00:02:50] I would like to see her get shot.

[00:02:52] Jesus Christ.

[00:02:54] By the firing squad.

[00:02:55] You know, in a flashy way.

[00:02:56] So it's weird.

[00:02:57] Yeah, it would be that would be a good end.

[00:03:02] Yeah, it's fucking hell.

[00:03:04] And then Obama agrees with Trump for doing it.

[00:03:07] And then he brings jobs back to the country.

[00:03:09] And that's what we were saying.

[00:03:12] What if he's just great?

[00:03:13] What if he was right?

[00:03:15] OK, first of all, he's not going to do anything.

[00:03:18] Mike Gay Pizza Pence is going to be the president.

[00:03:21] He's going to he when he offered John Kasich the Veep

[00:03:25] position, he was like, you're going

[00:03:27] to be in charge of foreign policy and domestic policy.

[00:03:31] And then he's like, so what are you going to do, Donald?

[00:03:33] He's like, I'm going to make America great again.

[00:03:35] Yeah.

[00:03:35] So like he basically he's barely literate.

[00:03:39] He can't read.

[00:03:40] He has no hobbies.

[00:03:41] Are these terms?

[00:03:42] Those are terms.

[00:03:43] Stages ate a tum like a candy.

[00:03:45] Yeah, I was my blood sugar was under the candy.

[00:03:49] But it was bitch.

[00:03:50] I had a whole bag of chocolate covered pretzels for lunch.

[00:03:53] Man, I had the best sandwich last night.

[00:03:54] But it had jalapenos in it.

[00:03:56] And this morning, I fucking asshole was just like everyone

[00:03:59] else in America.

[00:03:59] I woke up and I just felt like this can't be real.

[00:04:03] All right, I have to have diarrhea, this fucking bad

[00:04:06] from this jalapeno.

[00:04:07] What kind of sandwich was it?

[00:04:08] Oh, some big turkey and cheese.

[00:04:10] I get turkey at him.

[00:04:11] Fuck turkey.

[00:04:12] Turkey and ham, all the turkeys great.

[00:04:14] Fuck me.

[00:04:14] I like a little damn salami, bitch.

[00:04:17] Anyway, they have majorities in the House and Senate.

[00:04:21] They're going to appeal.

[00:04:21] Basically, any legislative accomplishment Barack Obama

[00:04:25] had, what very few ones he had, which are basically

[00:04:27] Dodd-Frank and Obatma Cara, those are going to be gone

[00:04:29] the first six months.

[00:04:30] Well, Obatma Cara is already imploding.

[00:04:32] So it's fine.

[00:04:34] Yeah, it's been such a fucking disaster.

[00:04:37] And hopefully they could have used that disaster

[00:04:41] and be like, oh, this is someone else's fault

[00:04:42] and get single payer.

[00:04:43] But that wasn't going to happen.

[00:04:45] Hillary wouldn't have made single payer happen.

[00:04:46] Well, she wouldn't have been able to make it happen

[00:04:48] in Congress anyway.

[00:04:50] So it doesn't matter.

[00:04:51] I mean, I went to go buy a fucking policy yesterday

[00:04:55] or two days ago.

[00:04:56] And then they just don't offer platinum plans where I live.

[00:05:00] Like five star.

[00:05:00] In your neighborhood?

[00:05:01] Yeah, I just do that.

[00:05:04] I wonder what demographic reasons that's for.

[00:05:07] Yeah.

[00:05:09] She is a little bit too much heart disease

[00:05:11] in your neighborhood.

[00:05:12] Yeah, I don't know, man.

[00:05:13] Can we even do an irony and ironically, race's podcast?

[00:05:18] Are you fucking kidding me?

[00:05:20] The apprentice guy is the president.

[00:05:21] Yeah, of course we can.

[00:05:22] This is our time.

[00:05:26] This is our fucking moment, guys.

[00:05:28] We did it.

[00:05:28] This is come towns fault.

[00:05:29] We were the only ones that actually predicted it.

[00:05:32] Yeah.

[00:05:33] Although I said it, everyone laughed at me.

[00:05:35] I'm like, he could win.

[00:05:36] Yeah.

[00:05:37] Because that's the thing is like, you know,

[00:05:39] think about all the time, maybe it happens to me

[00:05:41] more than anybody else, but like,

[00:05:43] somebody will message me or pull me aside and be like,

[00:05:46] yeah, I mean, I agree with these whores, but Jesus Christ.

[00:05:49] No.

[00:05:49] It happens all the fucking time.

[00:05:51] Behind closed doors, it's, you know, yeah.

[00:05:53] People that are like, I mean, I agree with this

[00:05:55] extensively, but really, like I'm a rapist for not going

[00:05:59] to see the Ghostbusters movie.

[00:06:00] Yeah.

[00:06:01] Yeah.

[00:06:02] And those are the people that voted the way you wanted them to.

[00:06:07] Like, what do you think?

[00:06:08] Like some guy in the middle of fucking Pennsylvania

[00:06:10] is like going to just sit there and read all day long.

[00:06:13] No, well, I think I don't, I think I don't

[00:06:16] have some kind of some kind of identity.

[00:06:18] Well, okay.

[00:06:19] I don't think it was only because of identity politics

[00:06:21] and fucking I don't think so either.

[00:06:24] I think a lot of people lost their job in the fucking

[00:06:27] Rust Belt in the 90s because of NAFTA.

[00:06:29] And they supported Bernie and the primaries.

[00:06:31] And they couldn't in good conscience.

[00:06:32] No, I feel like Bernie would have won.

[00:06:34] What about, I think he would have won.

[00:06:35] And you can't really make an argument saying that

[00:06:37] that's where I want to ask somebody.

[00:06:39] Guys, push it T and Beyonce though.

[00:06:41] Shouldn't those guys have swayed?

[00:06:43] Yeah.

[00:06:43] White guys in Pennsylvania.

[00:06:44] Well, no.

[00:06:45] You can't get them a broken shit.

[00:06:45] Whatever goodwill they might have caused

[00:06:47] was completely destroyed by Leader Duddin's rap song.

[00:06:50] Yeah.

[00:06:51] It's what a fucking, what a brain.

[00:06:53] What a brain dead moron.

[00:06:55] She released that rap song.

[00:06:56] And then did you see that Huffle article where she was like,

[00:06:59] you know, I just like thought the idea was so funny

[00:07:01] of like this like out of touch white girl.

[00:07:03] Oh, I saw that.

[00:07:04] Yeah.

[00:07:05] It's like, what the fuck?

[00:07:07] You, you dumb red asshole.

[00:07:10] It's fucking the only good thing.

[00:07:12] It's like, it really is like, if you walked into a locker room,

[00:07:15] like you're in high school and you walk into a locker room

[00:07:17] and your friend is like on his knees blowing another guy,

[00:07:21] you know, and he's like, hey, Mike, this is you, dude.

[00:07:25] This is you.

[00:07:26] This is sucking the dick as hard as a game.

[00:07:27] You're fucking gay.

[00:07:29] Dude, I don't want to venture into misogyny or violence

[00:07:33] against women, but I hope Leader Dunham dies.

[00:07:35] So what she has to leave the country?

[00:07:37] I hope she leaves.

[00:07:38] I hope she goes to fucking Canada and terrorize.

[00:07:40] You think she will?

[00:07:41] She should also be shot.

[00:07:42] Hillary, Hillary on the national mall in a pantsuit

[00:07:45] and then Lena Dunham completely make it with a burrito

[00:07:48] shoved in her pussy.

[00:07:50] I mean, it's crazy.

[00:07:53] Okay.

[00:07:54] So what's the, what's the silver lining and all this?

[00:07:56] There are a lot of those people.

[00:07:57] Legalize it in Boston, baby.

[00:07:58] Yeah.

[00:07:59] Yeah.

[00:08:00] That was the best.

[00:08:01] That was the best shit on Twitter.

[00:08:02] I know.

[00:08:03] He's the fucking dude.

[00:08:04] Tommy Chong.

[00:08:05] He's looking dude, man.

[00:08:07] Look at that.

[00:08:08] Look at that.

[00:08:09] People crying.

[00:08:10] Like children be like that.

[00:08:12] Yeah.

[00:08:13] Honestly, man, it's not going to be.

[00:08:15] It's not going to be that fucking bad.

[00:08:18] It'll be bad.

[00:08:19] Yes, it will be.

[00:08:20] It's crazy though, dude.

[00:08:21] You realize like half the country was saying that when Obama was elected.

[00:08:24] They thought he was the fucking idiot.

[00:08:25] Yeah, but they're idiots.

[00:08:26] But Obama wasn't bad.

[00:08:27] No, he wasn't bad.

[00:08:28] Trump is a fucking crazy motherfucker.

[00:08:29] He gets it two, three motherfucker.

[00:08:30] Ruth Bader Ginsburg is a fucking guy.

[00:08:32] Like 60 percent.

[00:08:33] You can't say away from the state of the union.

[00:08:35] 60 percent of like Texas wanted to secede.

[00:08:38] Yeah, but the difference is Obama, they just believe that because they're fucking retards.

[00:08:43] Well, because he's Trump.

[00:08:44] Yeah, and Trump is like the fucking crazy motherfucker.

[00:08:47] And dude, dude, Rude Giuliani's like, it's not just Trump.

[00:08:51] Everyone Trump, like Newt Gingrich is going to be Secretary of State or some Carson, Secretary of Education.

[00:08:57] One of the stupid, like, how can you be that good at brain surgery and just a fucking

[00:09:02] moron at the same time?

[00:09:03] Balled?

[00:09:04] He was balled?

[00:09:05] Yeah, he had hands.

[00:09:06] He's not from there.

[00:09:07] He's not from there.

[00:09:08] He said he had hopkins, right?

[00:09:09] Yeah, he went to hopkins.

[00:09:10] I was trying to remember the name of his book one time and I couldn't remember it.

[00:09:14] And the first thing that popped in my head was if these hands could eat pussy.

[00:09:19] The big Carson story.

[00:09:22] The big Carson story.

[00:09:24] Oh, fuck, dude.

[00:09:26] I can't suck my dick.

[00:09:28] I don't know how it happened.

[00:09:30] We talked for a second about how comedy is going to probably suck for the next four years.

[00:09:35] I already, yeah, I just tweeted that on Facebook.

[00:09:38] Yeah, because it's like people are like, oh, well, at least there'll be a lot to joke about.

[00:09:42] First of all, you're not fucking funny.

[00:09:44] You don't know how to joke about anything.

[00:09:46] You know, this is just going to be, it's going to be four years of you being like, guys,

[00:09:51] the president is bad.

[00:09:53] Okay.

[00:09:54] You know, we got to do something about this here at Over the Eight.

[00:09:58] Open mic.

[00:10:00] Oh, I'm out of time.

[00:10:01] Okay.

[00:10:02] Well, I guess back to my dog walking job where I make a difference.

[00:10:06] Yeah, I don't know.

[00:10:08] Dude, we're fucked.

[00:10:09] But honestly, fuck the DNC.

[00:10:11] Fuck Hillary.

[00:10:13] Fuck all those old old guard 92 James Carville, new Democrat fucking pussies.

[00:10:20] That's all they are.

[00:10:21] They're fucking pussy.

[00:10:22] Hell yeah, bitch.

[00:10:24] It's my time.

[00:10:25] Go off.

[00:10:26] Dude, I'm just fuck them all.

[00:10:28] They need to go away and we need new people.

[00:10:31] And Tulsi Gabbert is the one I think she surfs.

[00:10:35] She surfs.

[00:10:36] She used to be in the troops.

[00:10:37] Oh, nice.

[00:10:38] And she's.

[00:10:39] Tulsi 2069.

[00:10:41] 2020.

[00:10:42] 2020.

[00:10:43] But oh, yeah.

[00:10:45] And anyone that's saying Michelle 2020 needs to fucking walk into the.

[00:10:49] I know.

[00:10:50] That was the best part of the last like month or two.

[00:10:53] Have they not?

[00:10:56] The rise of like Michelle fan fiction on Twitter.

[00:11:02] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:11:03] Like this 80 Doyle type says like Michelle right now pulling Obama side.

[00:11:07] Now, now it's my turn.

[00:11:09] I'm next or whatever.

[00:11:10] Shut up.

[00:11:11] And they like have sex.

[00:11:12] What are you doing?

[00:11:14] No, there was one.

[00:11:15] I saw a tweet that was like it sounded like she was about to fuck him in the ass.

[00:11:19] Yeah.

[00:11:20] Yeah.

[00:11:21] Someone made a joke about that.

[00:11:22] So it's just like those women just like I voted for the actual.

[00:11:26] The actual fan fiction isn't even about Michelle being in politics.

[00:11:30] It's like them beat.

[00:11:32] It's two people in a relationship.

[00:11:34] Yeah.

[00:11:35] Like Michelle has someone who loves her.

[00:11:36] Yeah.

[00:11:37] Like that's what they're actually fan.

[00:11:38] They're in home masturbating the idea.

[00:11:40] Hillary pegging bill.

[00:11:42] That's an 898 year old man.

[00:11:47] Taking a fake dick and his ass strapped to both of their pelvis is snap.

[00:11:51] Not the true fox dude.

[00:11:53] I mean, I'm sure he gets his dick sucked by children on that plane.

[00:11:56] But that's this point.

[00:11:57] It's literally a he's not even a pedophile.

[00:12:00] What if you're not even a pedophile is just your your dick can only handle a child's mouth.

[00:12:04] What if Trump catches the case for fucking that kid?

[00:12:07] Dude, isn't it sad thing?

[00:12:08] So I think so.

[00:12:09] Have you paid attention?

[00:12:10] I think it's that's a little bit.

[00:12:12] No, it's just like a bullshit thing.

[00:12:14] It's not true.

[00:12:15] But hold on.

[00:12:16] From what I've read because that's the thing.

[00:12:18] It would be a much bigger story.

[00:12:20] Look how big pussy grabbing was.

[00:12:22] Yeah, of course.

[00:12:23] If Donald Trump had actually if there was any credence to that story that would be a huge fucking story.

[00:12:28] No one had a tape of him saying the N word.

[00:12:30] Nowhere.

[00:12:31] I haven't.

[00:12:32] Why didn't you release it?

[00:12:33] I'm not even providing a private voice.

[00:12:35] A friend of mine.

[00:12:38] Do you guys think best friend best friend?

[00:12:41] Do you guys think in like a backroom of the Jaffet Center there's just like 12, 7 year olds that didn't get fucked?

[00:12:47] Because they're like the celebratory kids everyone was gonna suck off.

[00:12:50] Oh my god.

[00:12:51] Well, I can't.

[00:12:53] We can't fuck these kids.

[00:12:54] It's like, ah, it's a shame.

[00:12:55] They're gonna go to waste.

[00:12:57] I can't even get hard right now.

[00:12:59] Let's just stop trying Michael.

[00:13:02] You stop trying Michael.

[00:13:04] Wait.

[00:13:05] Wait.

[00:13:06] Here's the lesson for us.

[00:13:07] You can't even fit it in him.

[00:13:09] I think Trump.

[00:13:10] I wish there was a secret over this.

[00:13:12] John, get the list.

[00:13:15] Get the email I sent.

[00:13:17] Yeah, from my other secret account, Jay Podesta, Yahoo dot GeoCities dot virus.

[00:13:23] Yeah.

[00:13:24] What's the code for when your dick is so limp from blowing the election?

[00:13:29] Rosoto.

[00:13:30] You can't put it in a two year.

[00:13:32] My safe word is Rosoto.

[00:13:34] Fuck him.

[00:13:36] Fuck all of them.

[00:13:38] They need to fucking go away and never come back ever again.

[00:13:41] Feel the damn ass burn.

[00:13:43] Yeah.

[00:13:45] In hindsight, it's like Hillary was like the worst fuck everyone hated her.

[00:13:49] She didn't even know that.

[00:13:51] That's the very first one.

[00:13:53] When the primary was going on.

[00:13:55] There was no way she was gonna impress everyone.

[00:13:57] She's like, I got the next four months to teach everyone how cool I am.

[00:14:01] Yeah.

[00:14:02] They're like, wait for 30 years.

[00:14:03] I'm just chilling and seeing her rapids.

[00:14:05] That should have been a fucking immediate.

[00:14:08] It should have been more.

[00:14:09] That's the biggest.

[00:14:10] That's a Howard Dean Yelp.

[00:14:11] That's the biggest.

[00:14:13] That's the biggest.

[00:14:14] That flag is that I'm just chilling and seeing her rapids.

[00:14:16] She's never gonna pull it off.

[00:14:17] It's never gonna fucking happen.

[00:14:19] And really when it comes down to these fucking idiots can't even figure it out.

[00:14:23] It's so simple.

[00:14:24] It's a fucking popularity contest.

[00:14:26] Yeah.

[00:14:27] Bill Clinton was cool.

[00:14:28] George Bush convinced people he was cool.

[00:14:29] Obama convinced people he was cool.

[00:14:30] George Bush is cool.

[00:14:31] He's pretty sweet.

[00:14:32] And you know what?

[00:14:33] He's a war criminal.

[00:14:34] Donald Trump is cool.

[00:14:35] Donald Trump is cool.

[00:14:36] Donald Trump is funny as shit.

[00:14:37] Oh, you know, he has a small hands and a shitty body.

[00:14:41] He's fucked so many more hot women.

[00:14:42] That's never the story.

[00:14:43] Who's that journalist he like fucking called on the phone because he criticized him and

[00:14:47] he's like, I get more pussy than you do.

[00:14:49] Because he's the guy who criticized it.

[00:14:51] And like fucking.

[00:14:53] And then he sent him a letter he wrote in a gold marker.

[00:14:56] Oh, fuck.

[00:14:57] He's cool, dude.

[00:14:58] They need this side.

[00:14:59] They need to decide one cool Democrat in the next four years.

[00:15:03] I don't know if it's even possible.

[00:15:04] It's even possible.

[00:15:07] Yeah, Tulsi, our girl, Martyn O'Malley.

[00:15:08] Get O'Malley back in.

[00:15:09] Well, he's O'Malley, fucks.

[00:15:10] Yeah, but O'Malley's not O'Malley's too like he's retarded.

[00:15:14] He's like a straight up retarded.

[00:15:16] He's like, uh, uh, uh, uh, no, he sucks.

[00:15:19] Yeah, he was the, he was the governor.

[00:15:20] He's like almost like socially impotent where he could be cool, but he's just so fucking boring.

[00:15:25] On paper, he's cool.

[00:15:26] He's like, he's like the ass with the SGA kid who's like, oh, I'm the fuck.

[00:15:29] I'm cool.

[00:15:30] Like everyone else.

[00:15:31] Well, he's cool in a way that like there's a be like, uh, you like meet somebody and they

[00:15:35] seem like they're objectively cooler than you, but they're like, wow, like they're impressed

[00:15:39] by you and you lose respect for them.

[00:15:41] Right, right, right, right.

[00:15:43] Because they shouldn't be.

[00:15:44] Right, right, right.

[00:15:45] Yeah.

[00:15:46] Yeah.

[00:15:47] Yeah.

[00:15:48] I don't know who we got.

[00:15:49] I don't know.

[00:15:50] I think it's like a most important thing right now is just to reiterate over and over and over again

[00:15:53] that Bernie would have won.

[00:15:54] Whether it's true or not.

[00:15:55] It's true.

[00:15:56] It's true.

[00:15:57] First of all, it is true.

[00:15:58] True to one.

[00:15:59] It's not true.

[00:16:01] They're going to a media.

[00:16:02] I mean, they're already done.

[00:16:03] At first it was Gary Johnson and fucking, you know, claiming, claiming a voter suppression,

[00:16:09] like black voter suppression, even though she had like what 15% turnout in Florida.

[00:16:12] Oh, it was atrocious.

[00:16:14] Oh, oh, and also Gary Johnson gave her four states yesterday.

[00:16:17] Right, right, right.

[00:16:18] Yeah.

[00:16:19] She would have gotten her ass kicked even worse in Colorado than so embarrassing.

[00:16:23] Minnesota and there's one more.

[00:16:25] No, there were people literally adding his votes to her votes as if it makes no sense.

[00:16:28] Everyone who voted for me.

[00:16:30] Yeah, I know.

[00:16:31] I know.

[00:16:32] Have you met any libertarians?

[00:16:33] They're not.

[00:16:34] They're not downcraft.

[00:16:36] So, yeah, or it was not Jill Stein's fault either.

[00:16:40] No.

[00:16:41] And it's not fucking a cracker ass Mayo ass white boys.

[00:16:45] She was an awful candidate.

[00:16:47] And we've been saying it.

[00:16:49] Hillary fucking sucks.

[00:16:50] And yeah, no, here's his thing.

[00:16:52] If, you know, even if you could make an argument as to why Bernie wouldn't have won, you have

[00:16:58] evidence now that Hillary wouldn't.

[00:17:00] That's a jacksus fact.

[00:17:01] She fucking loses to Donald Trump in the matchup.

[00:17:04] And I love that the argument was electability.

[00:17:06] Yeah, that was the argument.

[00:17:07] Of course.

[00:17:08] Of course.

[00:17:09] No, Hillary's more electable.

[00:17:10] Yeah, that's why.

[00:17:11] So, and then here's the question.

[00:17:12] Oh, great.

[00:17:13] If somebody that says if they would, you know, that, oh no, Bernie is an electable knowing

[00:17:17] now what you know that Hillary Clinton can't beat Donald Trump, would you go back if you

[00:17:22] had the opportunity to and vote for Bernie Sanders in the primary?

[00:17:25] No, because it's violence against women.

[00:17:27] Yeah.

[00:17:28] You got so wrapped up in your bullshit fucking identity politics and white men are bad no

[00:17:32] matter what that even when you have a more progressive one, yes, we still have to vote

[00:17:37] for the woman, even though she's a shit of your candidate, she's going to lose.

[00:17:40] You would blow the election just to vote for a woman.

[00:17:42] Yeah.

[00:17:43] Because it's important you to have yourself with, you know, in the voting booth and talk

[00:17:47] about it was first time I saw a little mermaid.

[00:17:49] I knew it was.

[00:17:50] I said, that was the worst shit too.

[00:17:52] When it's like fucking all these like, I like, I just can't wait till I can tell my daughter

[00:17:57] that she could be president one day.

[00:17:59] It's like, you just don't now.

[00:18:00] Will she can't?

[00:18:01] You're a fucking your father and you're at home and your daughter's like, Daddy, can

[00:18:04] I be president one day?

[00:18:05] And you're like, no, Sarah.

[00:18:07] I told you.

[00:18:08] Yes, baby, Queen Hillary is in office.

[00:18:11] You shut the fuck up.

[00:18:13] We have zero aspirations.

[00:18:15] Some man's world.

[00:18:18] It was funny with the Instagram algorithm being fucked up, where it doesn't just show you

[00:18:22] like chronologically what happens.

[00:18:24] That like, that yes, last night you were in this morning, you were just seeing like

[00:18:29] all that.

[00:18:30] Yeah, I'd be like, can't wait till our first woman president.

[00:18:33] I was just like, Oh my God.

[00:18:35] My mother queefed me out of her cunt.

[00:18:37] 21 years ago.

[00:18:40] And now the queef con combo.

[00:18:42] Yeah.

[00:18:43] She queefed me out of her cunt.

[00:18:45] And now we are wearing pantsuits together for Hill clean.

[00:18:48] But you know, I mean, no matter what, it's going to get worse in terms of like the cultural

[00:18:53] shit that bothers me that, you know, Trump did run on that fucking did help him, but

[00:18:58] it's just going to get racism.

[00:19:01] Not racist.

[00:19:02] I mean, call dog whistle racism if you want, but like push back against and then you,

[00:19:07] I mean, you can't even use political correctness or even the term like SJW anymore because

[00:19:11] then you're immediately lumped in with like all right guys or Nazis.

[00:19:14] 100%.

[00:19:15] There's something to be fucking said about the people that have actively tried to destroy

[00:19:19] comedy over the last six years, six, seven years.

[00:19:22] And they did they have comedy has gotten objectively shitty.

[00:19:26] Yeah.

[00:19:27] Comedy is just good points now.

[00:19:28] Yeah.

[00:19:29] The daily show fucking sucks.

[00:19:31] Yeah.

[00:19:32] It is an awful fucking show.

[00:19:35] It's so fucking bad.

[00:19:36] And it pales in comparison to what, you know, even the other spin off shows are right, right,

[00:19:43] right, right.

[00:19:44] You know, Claire Bayer is a better show.

[00:19:45] Right.

[00:19:46] Samantha B is a better show.

[00:19:47] The old bear show was the best one out of for sure.

[00:19:51] For sure.

[00:19:52] The only time America's ever done satire really that well.

[00:19:54] We're not that good at it.

[00:19:55] I am.

[00:19:56] They're much better than fucking him, dude.

[00:19:58] Nicole Mullen at it.

[00:19:59] Nicole Mullen.

[00:20:00] He is right now.

[00:20:01] You can't tell whether I'm being serious.

[00:20:03] Yeah.

[00:20:04] No, fuck.

[00:20:05] If you diss it, whatever you disagree with is satire and whatever you agree with is us

[00:20:07] being real fucking retard.

[00:20:09] I mean that.

[00:20:11] Who knows?

[00:20:12] This is satire.

[00:20:13] Who knows?

[00:20:14] I think it's important that we go back to and address the, uh, the post from that woman

[00:20:19] who wanted her down syndrome sign.

[00:20:21] Oh, yeah.

[00:20:22] Thank God.

[00:20:23] Yeah.

[00:20:24] You know, when, when God closes a window, I eat Tom Myers being able to eat.

[00:20:28] When God posts his window.

[00:20:29] Hillary's posting.

[00:20:30] Yeah.

[00:20:31] And live his dream.

[00:20:32] He, he opens the door.

[00:20:33] He opens the door.

[00:20:34] A beautiful door.

[00:20:35] Creating a boy with down syndrome.

[00:20:36] Who really wants to tell Trump, uh, Hillary and Obama that they're fired.

[00:20:40] Yeah.

[00:20:41] I also, I guarantee you, I fucking guarantee you that Donald Trump got 100% of the down syndrome

[00:20:46] vote.

[00:20:47] BB, no, BB is.

[00:20:49] He's not 100% I get.

[00:20:51] BB went hard for Trump.

[00:20:52] He's not down syndrome, but yeah.

[00:20:54] BB went hard.

[00:20:55] He's got neurofibromatosis.

[00:20:56] Yeah.

[00:20:57] Yeah.

[00:20:58] Yeah, which means his body just produces stones under his skin.

[00:21:01] Oh, really?

[00:21:02] Yeah.

[00:21:03] No, it's fucked up.

[00:21:04] Jesus Christ.

[00:21:05] He's like, well, everybody and making another video reminder that I live in constant pain.

[00:21:11] Happy birthday to Sarah.

[00:21:13] Jesus.

[00:21:14] I saw a bus earlier.

[00:21:15] Well, off to the doctor to get part of my brain removed.

[00:21:20] He loves the bus.

[00:21:21] God damn that sucks.

[00:21:23] Anyway, let's read the post again.

[00:21:25] Let's I'm having trouble finding it.

[00:21:26] What were you saying though?

[00:21:27] Is not what you were saying that the Trump speech there was at the Trump's hell.

[00:21:32] Did you watch that when he's making you told me last night?

[00:21:36] Hold on.

[00:21:37] There was a guy I didn't tell you when he's making his acceptance speech, the Nazi thing.

[00:21:40] No, not the Nazi thing.

[00:21:41] That was at some party.

[00:21:42] Oh, well, generally was that which we have to talk about.

[00:21:45] Oh, yeah, I forget.

[00:21:46] Yeah.

[00:21:47] Fucking piece of fucking shit.

[00:21:48] I'll kick your ass.

[00:21:49] You know what?

[00:21:50] You know what's so funny about him is I kind of wanted him on.

[00:21:52] I don't even like I didn't understand why everyone was mad about that price increase.

[00:21:56] Man, I understand what he did was shitty, but it just seemed like an inordinate amount

[00:22:00] of attention on a guy that does a thing that happens literally all the time.

[00:22:04] Yeah, he was like a whipping boyfriend in the same.

[00:22:06] Right.

[00:22:07] And it's like, but like why him?

[00:22:09] What did he do?

[00:22:10] His face.

[00:22:11] It's not his face.

[00:22:12] It's that he pissed off everyone in fucking biotech prior to that.

[00:22:14] Because he was a finance guy that like made his money by shitting all over biotech startups,

[00:22:21] because he like taught himself a bit about chemistry or whatever, biology.

[00:22:25] And so a company would be like, we have this new, you know, he did it with a weight loss

[00:22:28] company.

[00:22:29] We have like a weight loss pill and clinical trials.

[00:22:31] So he looked at the science and he's like, oh, yeah, this isn't going to fuck.

[00:22:33] So he sure did.

[00:22:34] He publicly trashed the company, sure did it.

[00:22:36] And then also like made complaints to the FDA so that the trials took longer and failed

[00:22:42] or whatever.

[00:22:43] He's smart.

[00:22:44] Yeah, no, he's definitely not a fucking idiot.

[00:22:46] He's like a very smart guy.

[00:22:48] But you know, so I, you know, if we had him on, I wouldn't even grow him about that shit

[00:22:51] because it's like, I don't fucking care.

[00:22:53] You know, well, there is another if he raises the price.

[00:22:56] People get that through insurance anyways.

[00:22:58] That's the point.

[00:22:59] The point is that he's not really hitting the AIDS patients.

[00:23:01] He's hitting the insurance companies.

[00:23:02] And that's why there was a big wave of like, it's also, it's also a sentiment.

[00:23:06] He's also a fucking piece of shit too.

[00:23:08] And he's also a kid that got his ass kicked and called a faggot his whole life.

[00:23:12] And he turned into a complete asshole.

[00:23:13] Yeah.

[00:23:14] He's a South Brooklyn.

[00:23:16] What is he?

[00:23:17] Armenian or something?

[00:23:18] No, he's Albanian.

[00:23:19] He's out there.

[00:23:20] I make fun of Elvis and better all the time.

[00:23:22] Yeah.

[00:23:23] You know, I was just going to have him on and then ask him non-secret questions.

[00:23:27] I thought it would be funny.

[00:23:28] Yeah.

[00:23:29] I really just wanted to exploit him for the audience, you know, like I don't even know

[00:23:33] who the fuck he is.

[00:23:34] Yeah.

[00:23:35] Yeah.

[00:23:36] But, but yeah, immediately he was being a dick about it.

[00:23:39] Yeah.

[00:23:40] Yeah.

[00:23:41] Well, but Martin, if you're listening, you're still welcome to come on.

[00:23:44] We'd love to have you as a guest, but no, he was at some party last night.

[00:23:48] And then some girl was like posting like, I ran into cutie pie, Martin Scrawley.

[00:23:51] I forget who it was.

[00:23:52] It posted it.

[00:23:53] And then she tashed tagged Rahoa, which is, it stands for racial Holy War, which is like

[00:23:59] a white supremacist thing.

[00:24:01] Yeah.

[00:24:02] Jesus Christ.

[00:24:03] Yeah.

[00:24:04] Yeah.

[00:24:05] I was just hoping that his edits, except in speech, Donald Trump would come out and there'd

[00:24:08] be like balloons and then Sam Hyde and the Ted talk and weaves there and Pepe on like

[00:24:16] the unicycle and then we fucking Milo's there just hanging.

[00:24:20] Yeah.

[00:24:21] Yeah.

[00:24:22] Clint Milo's just getting fucked in the ass.

[00:24:23] Milo's getting fucked in the ass with a black guy Gavin.

[00:24:26] No, by a black guy.

[00:24:28] He's just shouting the N word.

[00:24:30] Shouting the N word.

[00:24:31] He's just thrust.

[00:24:32] Black guys.

[00:24:33] Black guys.

[00:24:34] Like a Diglett head, like the three.

[00:24:39] So it's three black guys.

[00:24:41] They're all kissing.

[00:24:42] Yeah.

[00:24:43] Well, they fucking my low in the ass.

[00:24:46] He's savages.

[00:24:47] He's just savaging my little small is four channons just right behind him.

[00:24:52] We did it.

[00:24:53] We said it was going to be done.

[00:24:55] We did it.

[00:24:56] And the story.

[00:24:57] But what we saying though at the speech he's given the speech given the acceptance speech

[00:25:02] and some guys just like, kill Obama.

[00:25:04] You had his yells, kill Obama.

[00:25:08] The president.

[00:25:09] The sitting president of the United States.

[00:25:12] Jesus Christ.

[00:25:13] We're fucked.

[00:25:14] Jesus Christ.

[00:25:15] I hope Seth kills fucking Trump.

[00:25:18] You think so?

[00:25:19] No, Seth absolutely won't kill Trump.

[00:25:20] What's going to happen is he's not brave enough.

[00:25:21] What's going to happen is is Seth's going to make it a leader.

[00:25:25] Trump's going to make it illegal to criticize Donald Trump and then Seth's immediately going

[00:25:29] to say I was the first one to love Donald Trump.

[00:25:32] I love Donald Trump.

[00:25:34] I support everything that he does.

[00:25:36] And if he wants a list of friends that I have that have criticized him, I will happily

[00:25:40] fax that over to him immediately, you know, at cost of course.

[00:25:44] I'm not thinking of his feet.

[00:25:46] Seth is the kind of guy dick field by the way, not anybody else.

[00:25:52] The fictional character dick field is the kind of guy that would immediately sell every

[00:25:57] single person anyway.

[00:25:58] He's on fucking water.

[00:26:00] He's like the Jews that were like the guards in the camps for the Nazis, the copos.

[00:26:04] Yeah.

[00:26:05] Yeah.

[00:26:06] Is there any way that I could get desert taste to?

[00:26:09] Did all the copos get got?

[00:26:13] Or did they survive?

[00:26:14] They saved their own asses.

[00:26:16] Really?

[00:26:17] Like they were in charge of making sure everyone was working.

[00:26:21] Yeah.

[00:26:22] Well at the end of the game they just-

[00:26:23] It was actually a movie about a man called Schindler's Cock.

[00:26:26] Yeah, they were just the biggest tattle tale piece of the shit.

[00:26:31] They were probably, you know, their descendants were probably part of the 18% of Jews that

[00:26:37] voted for Donald Trump.

[00:26:39] You know?

[00:26:40] Oh, yeah dude.

[00:26:41] This shit is a buck ass wild.

[00:26:43] I love the, like the 36, what was the 36% Latino men voted for Trump?

[00:26:48] That's awesome.

[00:26:49] Oh yeah.

[00:26:50] Shout out to the 36.

[00:26:51] No, 36.

[00:26:52] No, 36.

[00:26:56] Meet Chaconis, the 36 years that held Trumpo, Pouta, Uno Dos address.

[00:27:03] Isn't it white women's fault though?

[00:27:05] For real?

[00:27:06] Like didn't they go-

[00:27:07] Yeah, it's white women's fault.

[00:27:08] It's like white people.

[00:27:09] It's white people.

[00:27:10] I'm glad it's white women's fault.

[00:27:11] It's fucking Hillary's fault.

[00:27:12] You know what I mean?

[00:27:13] Hillary, yeah.

[00:27:14] Of course.

[00:27:15] She-

[00:27:16] Shitty awful candidate.

[00:27:17] Yeah, but it's crazy that if she lost white women.

[00:27:20] Her self-doubt.

[00:27:21] It's literally her fucking selfishness is the reason that she-

[00:27:24] She was entitled, she thought she deserved it.

[00:27:26] She did fucking, yeah.

[00:27:28] Her, anything that happens is her fault.

[00:27:31] Well, no.

[00:27:32] On a personal level.

[00:27:33] Not her as a politician.

[00:27:34] Hillary Clinton is a fucking person.

[00:27:36] It was like, that's my turn.

[00:27:39] It's some fucking old piece of shit rich woman that-

[00:27:43] Yeah.

[00:27:44] She literally lost to a guy whose name was Hussein.

[00:27:46] Yeah.

[00:27:47] A black guy.

[00:27:48] A black guy.

[00:27:49] She sent it a year and a half.

[00:27:51] Yeah.

[00:27:52] Was it two and a half years or something?

[00:27:53] Was it four years?

[00:27:54] No, no, no, no, full term.

[00:27:55] I don't think it was.

[00:27:56] He won in 2004.

[00:27:58] Yeah, so it was four years.

[00:28:00] Okay.

[00:28:01] Yeah, at that point.

[00:28:02] Okay.

[00:28:03] He beat Alan Keys.

[00:28:04] Hell yeah.

[00:28:05] Yeah, remember that dude?

[00:28:06] The other black guy.

[00:28:07] The other black Republican dude.

[00:28:08] He was pretty funny.

[00:28:09] Yeah, there was Alan Keys then Herman and now-

[00:28:12] Herman Kane.

[00:28:13] I mean, he always-

[00:28:14] This really is like if Herman Kane won.

[00:28:16] It gets-

[00:28:17] No, well.

[00:28:18] Well yeah, Herman Kane also did sexually assault women.

[00:28:21] So-

[00:28:22] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:28:23] No, what were you talking about before that?

[00:28:25] No, no, Hillary-

[00:28:26] I don't know.

[00:28:27] She's a fucking bitch dude.

[00:28:30] Fuck that bitch.

[00:28:31] Yeah, I mean it just-

[00:28:32] I don't know.

[00:28:33] I'm so mad.

[00:28:34] We're in a terrible campaign.

[00:28:35] Well, no, yeah.

[00:28:36] That was the thing.

[00:28:37] Is that she-

[00:28:38] Okay, she had her convention and then she disappeared, showed up on 9-11, passed out, showed

[00:28:45] up for three debates and expected him to shoot himself in the dick.

[00:28:49] That was her strategy.

[00:28:50] Which she sort of-

[00:28:51] Just like shut the fuck up.

[00:28:52] Yeah, exactly.

[00:28:53] The thing I was thinking about earlier was like, what was like one policy plan that she

[00:28:57] put out?

[00:28:58] Like Trump kept talking about the wall.

[00:29:00] Like at least he had some shit.

[00:29:02] You're talking about trade agreements.

[00:29:03] There was some shit-

[00:29:04] Oh no, just shit.

[00:29:05] What was she-

[00:29:06] Raising minimum wage to $7.26.

[00:29:08] That was a big one.

[00:29:12] She was like pushing free public education.

[00:29:15] She basically took all the Bernie shit, but everyone didn't believe her.

[00:29:19] Right.

[00:29:20] You know, everyone's like, oh yeah.

[00:29:21] That was like nasty thing during the time I learned.

[00:29:23] I didn't like that.

[00:29:24] Is when I had to keep hearing over and over again, like, well Bernie's job is to bring

[00:29:28] Hillary to the left and it's like, that'll be erased in fucking too much.

[00:29:32] Of course.

[00:29:33] And no one's gonna buy it.

[00:29:34] She's not a good actor.

[00:29:36] She can't sell that shit.

[00:29:37] She's not like fucking slick willy or whatever.

[00:29:39] I was saying, I just-

[00:29:40] Here's my personal hope is that for the rest of her fucking life, all of her shit contained

[00:29:45] used to be hacked and put on wickily.

[00:29:47] Her as a private citizen, all of her shit, her fucking her like calling customer service

[00:29:52] departments that's recorded and put online.

[00:29:54] All the-

[00:29:55] Looking up directions, her medical records, everything continues to be fucking hacked.

[00:30:00] But when the FBI investigates it for some reason.

[00:30:03] No matter what, they just investigate it.

[00:30:06] Just comb me after he leaves the FBI.

[00:30:08] It's a basically it.

[00:30:09] I'm running a personal investigation.

[00:30:12] He moves to Massachusetts like lives in a cabin.

[00:30:14] He only wears sweaters and only investigates.

[00:30:16] He's got like a big board with fucking pins and insh'h.

[00:30:20] This shit's crazy dude.

[00:30:21] Like I feel like shouldn't the Illuminati have stepped in?

[00:30:25] No.

[00:30:26] And that's like what's crazy is so-

[00:30:28] Oh no, it's great dude.

[00:30:29] They're repealing Dodd-Frank.

[00:30:30] The Dow's up dude.

[00:30:31] Yeah.

[00:30:32] Well it's actually going in.

[00:30:33] People are like, oh the fucking the stock markets are gonna tank.

[00:30:36] Just wait.

[00:30:37] No, no, it will tank once there's another bubble burst because of like wide deregulation.

[00:30:43] Sure, yeah.

[00:30:44] It's not gonna, it's not gonna take right now.

[00:30:45] But it's not like speculators and investors are worried that Donald Trump's gonna change

[00:30:49] anything.

[00:30:50] No, no.

[00:30:51] So it's fine.

[00:30:52] No, he's gonna make it better for that.

[00:30:53] Yeah.

[00:30:54] He's gonna repeal the only like which the lip.

[00:30:55] Dodd-Frank doesn't even, yeah it's bullshit.

[00:30:57] The lip-dick financial regulation that Obama was able to squeeze through after George Bush

[00:31:02] literally destroyed the economy.

[00:31:04] Dude, that was so funny is how Obama came in and literally had so much political capital

[00:31:11] and couldn't do anything.

[00:31:12] Yeah.

[00:31:13] It was a bullshit healthcare plan.

[00:31:15] He passed a bullshit stimulus package that only really didn't affect labor but it only

[00:31:22] affected capital.

[00:31:24] And you know, and he saved, he saved the auto industry by literally taking apart UAW which

[00:31:29] is like one of the oldest unions in like American, like modern American history.

[00:31:34] But they're racist.

[00:31:35] So fuck them.

[00:31:36] What are you talking about dude?

[00:31:37] They're auto workers.

[00:31:38] They're racist.

[00:31:39] And he fucked these crack ass white boys.

[00:31:42] And he wanted them for being any kind of racist no matter what.

[00:31:45] I'll disagree with their politics and I'll vote against them.

[00:31:48] Also I will say this, this is a referendum on how shitty of a president Barack Obama

[00:31:53] was.

[00:31:54] Like literally if people felt like their lives are better than they were eight years ago

[00:31:58] they weren't.

[00:31:59] No, no he didn't do what he did.

[00:32:01] He didn't do shit.

[00:32:02] He's just cool.

[00:32:03] The ACA is just a fuck up.

[00:32:05] You're right but like who are people's lives worse right now?

[00:32:08] Yes.

[00:32:09] Yes.

[00:32:10] The immigration got worse.

[00:32:12] The more to explain programs got worse.

[00:32:15] Yes.

[00:32:16] We're bombing seven different countries right now.

[00:32:18] Things got worse under Obama.

[00:32:20] Yes.

[00:32:21] But you know what?

[00:32:22] He is cool enough that even when I watch him speak I'm like, alright.

[00:32:24] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:32:25] And that's the difference.

[00:32:26] Is it like he's a celebrity?

[00:32:27] People are like, oh Hillary would just be celebrity with celebrity.

[00:32:30] Hillary would just be four more years or eight more years of Obama.

[00:32:34] And it's like the only thing I liked about him was his personality.

[00:32:39] And you know, like, oh well you just don't like her personality because you're sexist.

[00:32:42] Well fuck it maybe.

[00:32:44] I mean that's not true but maybe it is.

[00:32:46] I don't want to fuck.

[00:32:47] I shouldn't have to fucking, you know, if it was a matter of hanging out with them I

[00:32:51] shouldn't have to hang out with somebody I don't like.

[00:32:53] I don't have to listen to.

[00:32:55] But it's not, yeah.

[00:32:57] I mean it's not, the sexism argument sure that's definitely a part of it but it's also like.

[00:33:01] People do hate women.

[00:33:02] But it's also, yeah.

[00:33:03] But she's also, she's not cool in any way.

[00:33:06] She's so sick.

[00:33:07] She's like a fucking boring person to listen to.

[00:33:10] Yeah, yeah.

[00:33:11] She's not trustworthy which is evidenced by, you know, fact and also just fucking looking

[00:33:16] at her.

[00:33:17] She's not a fucking entertaining person or a trustworthy person to.

[00:33:21] She's not a people person.

[00:33:23] Right, yeah.

[00:33:24] And she's not like she's not cool.

[00:33:25] Like she doesn't connect with people.

[00:33:28] And the people who she does connect with her, whatever she's going to be put on the wall

[00:33:31] and shot.

[00:33:32] And I'm going to be there dude.

[00:33:33] I'm getting one of those tickets.

[00:33:34] I'm opening.

[00:33:35] It's going to be you.

[00:33:36] You and Alden in Chinese.

[00:33:37] I'm doing 20 minutes before the murder.

[00:33:40] Only I'm going to get the light.

[00:33:42] I'm going to get the light of 15 minutes.

[00:33:43] I'm walking off at 17 and I'm counting at 20.

[00:33:46] I'm not even going to do my full time because that's the kind of comic I am.

[00:33:49] I do what I'm contractually obligated to do.

[00:33:51] Respect the light.

[00:33:52] I feel the time.

[00:33:53] That's all I have to do folks.

[00:33:54] I don't have to fucking make you laugh.

[00:33:56] That's not my job.

[00:33:57] Doesn't it have high ass approval ratings and shit?

[00:34:00] Don't people like him?

[00:34:01] Because he's cool.

[00:34:02] Just because he's cool.

[00:34:03] You're right.

[00:34:04] Yeah.

[00:34:05] I don't know man.

[00:34:08] And honestly like what's going to happen to Medicaid?

[00:34:11] He's tried to know.

[00:34:13] They'll probably got well they're at least going to immediately get rid of the mandate

[00:34:20] that employers have to pay for reproductive.

[00:34:23] Yeah.

[00:34:24] All the old Pussy medicines.

[00:34:26] All the girls.

[00:34:27] All the girls.

[00:34:28] Damn.

[00:34:29] All the cool girls are getting with the IUDs right now.

[00:34:34] I don't know if you know what?

[00:34:36] The Medicaid expansions because...

[00:34:38] That's right.

[00:34:39] The Medicaid expansions those go to that's just extra money that goes to the state.

[00:34:42] To the state, right, right.

[00:34:43] So if you live in New York you'll probably be okay.

[00:34:46] Yeah.

[00:34:47] Also there's money that comes from the state.

[00:34:49] But like I said I just went to go see if I could get a fucking plan and I can't.

[00:34:53] So the insurance like the healthcare provider industry is already so fucked up because of

[00:34:58] the ACA's implementation because it fucked up in all these ways that economists said

[00:35:02] it would and caused problems.

[00:35:04] So even if they repeal it now it's not only to bounce his back to the way it was.

[00:35:08] Maybe you couldn't get healthcare because you're a bitch though.

[00:35:09] Yeah that's what it was.

[00:35:11] I forgot to uncheck the box.

[00:35:13] Yeah you should uncheck that.

[00:35:14] She's a male female bitch.

[00:35:15] Yeah.

[00:35:16] Yeah.

[00:35:17] She's like a bitch.

[00:35:18] I checked Big Dick ass.

[00:35:19] Have a nice motherfucker.

[00:35:20] Yeah well they can't.

[00:35:21] It's just like...

[00:35:22] You can't check.

[00:35:23] We've detected how enormously fat your fingers were by the weight of the keys pressing down.

[00:35:27] So unfortunately we're not going to be able to offer you any healthcare plan.

[00:35:31] But if you like we have one of those old bathing suits from the 1800s.

[00:35:36] Yeah.

[00:35:37] The giant lollie.

[00:35:38] A rompress cap.

[00:35:39] That you can wear for funny pictures.

[00:35:40] Yeah.

[00:35:41] That's pretty good actually.

[00:35:42] Some pretty good compromise.

[00:35:43] And some kerosenell.

[00:35:44] We have a little photo shoot we can do.

[00:35:45] I was fucking love that dude.

[00:35:46] I would take that shit.

[00:35:47] Oh it's so cute.

[00:35:48] Yeah there's we have a diaper and a sash that says New Year 1938.

[00:35:57] Oh fuck dude.

[00:36:01] What's Comey up to?

[00:36:03] He's got to be...

[00:36:04] I like that he's like basically turned into Gil in the last like month and a half.

[00:36:10] I mean...

[00:36:11] Do you think the FBI just doesn't fuck with Clinton at all?

[00:36:13] Well yeah but this is...

[00:36:14] It's probably...

[00:36:15] Well this is...

[00:36:16] It's probably...

[00:36:17] It's fucked with Clinton.

[00:36:18] Yeah.

[00:36:19] So the CIA fucks with Clinton and the FBI fucks with Trump.

[00:36:21] Yeah.

[00:36:22] So there was like sort of an internal war going on.

[00:36:24] There's not consistency throughout the FBI in terms of like you know who they support

[00:36:28] or what.

[00:36:29] Right right right.

[00:36:30] I really don't think that Comey had any kind of particular partisan motivations there.

[00:36:35] It's just a fucking idiot.

[00:36:36] I think his first misstep in the...

[00:36:39] You know during the last 10 months was when they were investigating the email server and

[00:36:44] Clinton was repeatedly saying it's not an investigation.

[00:36:47] This is not a criminal investigation.

[00:36:49] It's a security inquiry.

[00:36:51] And then Comey said yeah I don't know what the fuck she's talking about.

[00:36:53] We don't do security inquiries.

[00:36:55] Which I don't understand why he said that.

[00:36:58] Right.

[00:36:59] You know.

[00:37:01] Well it doesn't seem like he was fucking shit up a little bit.

[00:37:03] He was probably annoying.

[00:37:04] He was definitely following a shit up.

[00:37:05] What do you mean?

[00:37:06] I think the reason he said it was political.

[00:37:09] He's just kind of jabbing a little bit.

[00:37:12] Like he can look incompetent while actually also fucked up.

[00:37:15] I think honestly I think his motivation.

[00:37:17] I think his motivation.

[00:37:18] That's the entire election.

[00:37:19] That's it for sure.

[00:37:20] I think his motivation was to protect the integrity of the FBI.

[00:37:23] Whatever that means in his own fucking head.

[00:37:25] Right.

[00:37:26] Initially he made that statement because it doesn't want to look like the FBI is just

[00:37:30] some partisan bulldog.

[00:37:32] But by saying that, that's what he does.

[00:37:37] He creates that perception that he is meddling.

[00:37:40] And so when he started meddling and then they had that long investigation.

[00:37:43] And then that press conference which is a stupid way to do it.

[00:37:46] But he already stuck his foot in his mouth three months prior.

[00:37:49] I mean the conceit of his statements at that press conference were that Hillary Clinton

[00:37:54] fucked up and she did break the law.

[00:37:57] But if an employee had broken the law, they would just be fired.

[00:38:02] Since she's not in office right now, the result should be that she loses the election.

[00:38:07] And you know, more or less said that by reiterating over and over again that if this government

[00:38:12] employee is going to be lost his job.

[00:38:14] This last shit though, they had no new shit.

[00:38:17] No, no new info.

[00:38:18] I mean that was he's going to be in charge of the new Trump KGB, Stasi or whatever he

[00:38:23] is, the state police.

[00:38:25] He's going to congratulations James.

[00:38:27] What do you think a Trey Gouty attorney general, is that going to happen?

[00:38:29] Jesus.

[00:38:30] It's so rude.

[00:38:31] That would be terrifying.

[00:38:32] They said Rudy G fucking Christ.

[00:38:35] They're going to be some psychos in charge of Shkreli is probably going to get securities

[00:38:39] exchange commission.

[00:38:40] Yeah.

[00:38:41] Oh fuck.

[00:38:42] Cutie Martin Shkreli.

[00:38:43] Omarosa is going to work for the white house.

[00:38:48] Omarosa they're going to kill Michelle Obama and replace her with him and also.

[00:38:52] Oh yeah and Chris Christie as a person by the way, Chris Christie won.

[00:38:55] It worked out.

[00:38:56] Yeah.

[00:38:57] He's going to keep his life as an over.

[00:38:59] It should have been.

[00:39:00] Well, who knows?

[00:39:01] His two top it.

[00:39:02] Whatever.

[00:39:03] Trump will have the fucking judges killed.

[00:39:06] He'll get the US attorney's like, that's really the case.

[00:39:09] Fucking concrete shoes on the US.

[00:39:11] Then it proves that people don't get killed.

[00:39:13] No, I guess somebody was going to if Anthony Wiener should have been killed, right?

[00:39:19] He should if he would have killed Anthony Wiener six months ago.

[00:39:24] Yeah.

[00:39:25] I mean, like he fucked up the whole world.

[00:39:28] Anthony Wiener ruined the world.

[00:39:29] It might be true.

[00:39:30] If they're going to kill Trump, if they're going to kill him, they would use, you know,

[00:39:34] obviously a Patsy or whatever.

[00:39:36] Right.

[00:39:37] Yeah, yeah.

[00:39:38] But Trump is also the kind of guy that just gets murdered by psychos.

[00:39:40] Right, right.

[00:39:41] That's the exact personality.

[00:39:42] Like the guy that climbed the tower, like the kid who who climbed Trump Tower, who was

[00:39:46] like just a fan.

[00:39:47] No way.

[00:39:49] But he's a big fan.

[00:39:51] He did it as a fan, right?

[00:39:52] Oh, really?

[00:39:53] Yeah.

[00:39:54] That's awesome.

[00:39:55] He loved Trump.

[00:39:56] And he's like, I have to have a meeting with you immediately at Trump Tower.

[00:39:58] That's why I'm going to be climbing the tower.

[00:40:00] So I will see you there at Trump Tower.

[00:40:03] You saw the video, right?

[00:40:04] And Trump was like, and he couldn't make eye contact with the camera.

[00:40:07] But I mean, like, like, like, Huey Long, John Lennon, Reagan, Kennedy, like they're the

[00:40:13] kinds of people that get murdered by like, well, if anyone's listening to the radio,

[00:40:17] listening to the podcast, that might be a little crazy.

[00:40:21] Jody Foster will be so impressed.

[00:40:23] But the thing is, Mike Pence will then be president.

[00:40:26] Oh, no, Mike Pence is going to be president.

[00:40:30] He's already president.

[00:40:31] That's how you know that there's going to be murder, like their secret murders.

[00:40:33] If somebody assassinates Mike Pence, yeah, yeah, yeah, instead of Trump.

[00:40:37] Yeah.

[00:40:38] Here's the thing is like Mike Pence is scarier because he is he believes all the crazy.

[00:40:42] He's not incompetent.

[00:40:43] He's a competent psycho.

[00:40:45] Yeah.

[00:40:46] He's not as an incompetent psycho.

[00:40:48] And the thing is, it's going to be a mainstream, bush style, Republican administration.

[00:40:51] It's going to be Heritage Foundation and fucking yeah, all these never Trump motherfuckers

[00:40:56] are now like, Hey, you know what?

[00:40:58] Yeah, we believed in him all along.

[00:41:00] Well, they're going to team up with the fucking these Democrats that have no idea what to

[00:41:04] do.

[00:41:05] Yeah, fucking bullshit.

[00:41:06] Yeah, all, all, all be absorbed into, you know, a new damn dude.

[00:41:10] She's such.

[00:41:11] Dude, also shout out to all the come boys we met last night.

[00:41:17] They were everyone's really cool.

[00:41:19] Nice.

[00:41:20] Yeah, there's not enough jokes on this episode.

[00:41:21] I guess so I guess.

[00:41:25] Fucking we should probably talk about all these new Apple laptops.

[00:41:29] Touch ball.

[00:41:30] We talked about this for three episodes in a row.

[00:41:36] How do you get some pornography?

[00:41:38] The touch screen ball.

[00:41:41] Oh, yeah, I got enough titties on the screen here.

[00:41:43] I'm saying you put the titty on the screen.

[00:41:46] Maybe you put the pussy down on the touch bar, the clip area.

[00:41:50] It's training.

[00:41:51] I think it would be very funny to the visual of someone on the subway watching hardcore

[00:41:56] pornography on an Apple watch.

[00:41:58] Like this is like a cross his eyes just making noises.

[00:42:02] Everyone on the trade just like it wouldn't be all fucking watches.

[00:42:06] So we're getting fucked in the air.

[00:42:07] Oh, fuck yeah.

[00:42:08] Oh, shot.

[00:42:11] I see what time it is.

[00:42:13] I'm getting it.

[00:42:15] She suck my dick.

[00:42:16] I don't know what happened.

[00:42:19] Whoa, that's good.

[00:42:21] What else we have timing on that.

[00:42:22] Oh, so this is choreographed.

[00:42:24] None of it's planned.

[00:42:26] That's the point of the Trump election.

[00:42:27] That's why it's a win for come town because the nerd that went to Yale Law and the secretary

[00:42:33] of state and the senator from New York.

[00:42:36] And had all the experience of the world fucking lost and the guy that didn't even study for

[00:42:42] the test.

[00:42:43] Hillary versus Trump boils down to improv verse stand up.

[00:42:47] Donald Trump is stand up comedy.

[00:42:48] Hillary Clinton is in.

[00:42:49] Oh, I think most of what he was doing was improv.

[00:42:52] I think I'm serious about that.

[00:42:53] I know you're saying Trump is a guy that just can grift.

[00:42:56] It might not seem fleshed out, but he's funny and people are laughing at him.

[00:42:59] Everybody's you know, they got two drink minimum, the drunk.

[00:43:01] They love him.

[00:43:02] Hillary Clinton is like, oh, you know, it's the system.

[00:43:05] Whatever.

[00:43:06] You're talking.

[00:43:07] Yeah, system is a specific way you apply.

[00:43:09] You're not naturally funny.

[00:43:11] And your parents, you're also covering up a shit ton of rapes while pretending like you

[00:43:16] want.

[00:43:17] There you go.

[00:43:18] That's where it's not on Trump.

[00:43:20] Just get shrunken grabs some waitresses pussy.

[00:43:24] That's not stand up comedy, baby.

[00:43:26] Nick Nick, that was like when Steph Curry, when Steph Curry just pulls up from Ford.

[00:43:32] Nick, that was a thing of beauty.

[00:43:33] I can't even laugh.

[00:43:34] That's really fucking yeah.

[00:43:36] That's the truth.

[00:43:37] Fuck it is.

[00:43:38] It was covering up the hella rates.

[00:43:41] Yeah, no, dude.

[00:43:43] Hillary is UCB.

[00:43:44] An unelectable congregate.

[00:43:47] I don't like to fuck it.

[00:43:50] Fuck man.

[00:43:51] Are we going to get arrested for talking shit about Trump?

[00:43:54] Should we enlist?

[00:43:55] No, dude.

[00:43:56] First of all, everyone who listens to this can read through the lines and they know I'm

[00:43:59] actually a Nazi and I support Donald Trump.

[00:44:02] Yeah, me too.

[00:44:03] I'm a Jewish character on this show.

[00:44:06] Some people caught on to that.

[00:44:07] A lot of people don't know that I'm just doing Adam.

[00:44:10] Yeah.

[00:44:11] I'm able to do both voices at once.

[00:44:13] Yeah, that's true.

[00:44:14] I can actually sing at two different octaves.

[00:44:17] I do stop too.

[00:44:19] This is a one man operation.

[00:44:20] Yeah.

[00:44:21] In real life, I'm from Greenwich, Connecticut.

[00:44:24] And father bought me all this podcasting equipment.

[00:44:28] And you know, we were some, Summering in Kenny Bunkport, Maine and I decided I'm going

[00:44:32] to start a podcast.

[00:44:33] He's going to give his sons jobs.

[00:44:34] Of course.

[00:44:35] No, no, no, they're going to run the business and he's going to steal from the government

[00:44:39] and like benefit the business.

[00:44:40] I love how he's going to get impeached.

[00:44:41] Two weeks ago, his people being like, Michelle 2020 and the truth is going to be like Donald

[00:44:46] Trump, Jr. 2020.

[00:44:48] No, Ivanka.

[00:44:49] Yeah, Ivanka 2020.

[00:44:50] Dude, Ivanka like literally abandoned the campaign two weeks ago.

[00:44:54] And now he won.

[00:44:55] Yeah.

[00:44:56] His own daughter didn't think he was going to.

[00:44:58] Yeah.

[00:44:59] Dude, in the beginning of the night, people were like, people were trying to jump off.

[00:45:03] They're like, yeah, we think we're getting our asses into it.

[00:45:06] Everyone's polls just like we're wrong.

[00:45:08] Damn, dude.

[00:45:09] Well, Nate Silver was the, at the end of the day.

[00:45:14] And you know, that's never who else said it.

[00:45:16] Michael Moore.

[00:45:17] Yeah.

[00:45:18] Unfortunately, Michael Moore, who's now turning into a Ted talk, Michael Moore got it right

[00:45:22] because he's actually from fucking Flint and knows people were voting for Trump.

[00:45:26] Yeah.

[00:45:27] It's like, you know, I'm seeing people on Facebook today.

[00:45:29] They're like, especially in like the backlash to people saying that it's, you know, Bernie

[00:45:35] or whatever, or, you know, people that are mad at people like me for saying that Bernie

[00:45:39] would have won, which he would have, Bernie would have won.

[00:45:41] Bernie would have.

[00:45:42] Or he didn't win objectively.

[00:45:43] That's true.

[00:45:44] She fucking lost.

[00:45:45] Bernie would have won.

[00:45:46] So they're saying like, oh, Bernie wouldn't have fucking won.

[00:45:49] They wouldn't elect a Jew.

[00:45:52] You think that all the party that ran on racism, which, you know, in their minds, I guess every

[00:45:57] single person who voted for Donald Trump, the only thing they liked about him is that

[00:46:01] he was racist.

[00:46:02] Yeah.

[00:46:03] 1% of the time.

[00:46:04] And also so many of those people voted for Obama.

[00:46:07] Oh, and what are you talking about?

[00:46:09] Exactly.

[00:46:10] And then for Obama.

[00:46:11] And what you say in the car?

[00:46:14] The first guy who did racist, no, I was a gold water was Jewish, Julius Jew.

[00:46:19] Berry gold water, dude.

[00:46:20] I don't think he was Jewish.

[00:46:22] He was ethnically Jewish.

[00:46:24] He wasn't Jewish.

[00:46:25] Yeah, he was.

[00:46:26] Berry gold water was actually the first, the first Jew elected in a, in a, in a primary.

[00:46:34] Was he?

[00:46:35] Yeah.

[00:46:36] Well, yeah, he's, you got to take it.

[00:46:38] You got to take it.

[00:46:39] There have been a lot of embarrassing Jews in government.

[00:46:41] Joseph Lieberman.

[00:46:42] He was pretty.

[00:46:43] Eric Cantor.

[00:46:44] That haircut.

[00:46:45] Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

[00:46:46] Oh, yeah, they would have never elected Bernie.

[00:46:49] Yeah.

[00:46:50] But they elected all these other Jews that are in the campaign.

[00:46:54] I think honestly the best thing George Bush ever did was keep Joe Lieperman.

[00:46:58] I guess he was president.

[00:46:59] My point with all that.

[00:47:00] I'm so embarrassed.

[00:47:01] My point with all that is that like they're completely out of touch with the people that

[00:47:05] did vote for Donald Trump.

[00:47:06] You can sit back and say, Oh, I can't believe that America actually turned out to be racist.

[00:47:11] And it's like you have no communication.

[00:47:13] Well, something else I heard today.

[00:47:14] I don't know if this is true or not.

[00:47:16] It's probably true is that local news reporting, like the budgets have been slashed so much.

[00:47:21] So like the only places where they really are journalists are on the coast and they are

[00:47:24] completely out of touch with what's happening in the country.

[00:47:27] Yeah, I think that's what we found is that the media doesn't know what's happening.

[00:47:30] That's what blows my mind is all these fucking comics I meet that are talking about like,

[00:47:33] well, I want to work on this pile of this sort of about like gentrification.

[00:47:36] It's like you realize that 90% of America doesn't even know what that means.

[00:47:40] Yeah, no fucking idea.

[00:47:43] There are some things that are kind of like LGBT because gay people exist everywhere,

[00:47:47] but there's social issues that are specifically bound to the coasts in urban environments

[00:47:51] that you like shut the fuck up.

[00:47:53] That's not a thing.

[00:47:54] Yeah, microaggressions.

[00:47:56] How are you going to microaggress somebody when your neighbor lives fucking, you know,

[00:48:00] a four mile.

[00:48:01] Yeah, dude, I mean, I don't know.

[00:48:03] You can shit with the door open.

[00:48:04] They never find out.

[00:48:06] Yeah, these it just really does come down to though, but just like there was no like all

[00:48:13] these people, they're fucking they're not making money.

[00:48:15] They're jobs like what you were saying manufacturing jobs and shit are gone.

[00:48:18] And there was the two candidates.

[00:48:20] One is like loves fucking, you know, loves trade agreements, loves all the shit is the

[00:48:25] establishment fucking Goldman Sachs, whatever husband was in charge of NAFTA.

[00:48:30] And yeah, Donald Trump's her last name.

[00:48:33] He's saying that it's like, oh, it's fucking immigrants and it's fucking other countries.

[00:48:37] That's the problem.

[00:48:38] Yeah.

[00:48:39] And she just doesn't even say anything about it.

[00:48:40] I mean, that's of course they're going to fucking also in the larger like macro scale.

[00:48:45] Yeah.

[00:48:46] The wall is significant because this is what's going to be happening more and more in the

[00:48:50] next 50 hundred years is that they're going to be parts of the world that are uninhabitable,

[00:48:55] whether it's because they're underwater or because of wars and stuff and Syria.

[00:48:59] That is the other scary shit is like we're going to need to take millions of people and

[00:49:03] move them on the planet, right?

[00:49:05] And in Western Europe in the United States, they're all these Trump style nativist chest

[00:49:09] rounding like ooga booga fucking like liberal ass or sorry, like conservative like xenophobic

[00:49:16] as like like maniac groups popping up and it's going to become more and more common.

[00:49:23] The fact I think the only way to really combat it personally is I think socialism.

[00:49:28] I think like actually having a viable alternative.

[00:49:34] We had or we fuck there or we fuck their women or we take the heart.

[00:49:39] Yeah, no, we really the only answer is colonialism.

[00:49:42] We have to go into the Middle East, kill all those people, rape all the women, make them

[00:49:46] comport to our ideological values and then let them duke it out with the, you know, the

[00:49:51] same kind of partisan politics that we've had for the last 200 years or so.

[00:49:57] You're seeing walls sprouting up not only here, but in a lot of other places, Israel,

[00:50:02] for instance, there's wall with the West Bank, you know, Israel's a fascist ethnocracy and

[00:50:06] you know, they do fine.

[00:50:08] And they got Hooters there.

[00:50:09] The US could be like Israel.

[00:50:10] They have a booming tech industry.

[00:50:12] They have cafes and they commit genocide every day.

[00:50:15] So I don't understand why that's such a bad place to be.

[00:50:19] I agree, dude.

[00:50:22] I think we're honest.

[00:50:24] I'm just, you know, just look at agreement.

[00:50:26] Hey, you get up in the morning, have some harness and then a kiloch a baby.

[00:50:31] No, you do like that's like German.

[00:50:34] That's more.

[00:50:35] I don't know how to do it.

[00:50:36] They suddenly get a French people.

[00:50:37] No, it's like, of course, we wake up and the Palestinians are trying to kill us every day.

[00:50:45] So what we do is we strap on a military clothes and the hot girls with big teeth.

[00:50:53] They put on the military clothes and they take M16 and you don't understand how hot it

[00:51:00] is to do girl doggy style.

[00:51:02] Well, she has M16 pointed at the terrorists throwing that are throwing rocks at you.

[00:51:09] They're doing terrorism with rocks with just pebbles.

[00:51:14] I saw a little boy walk past the pebbles.

[00:51:18] So I picked him up and put him in my microwave.

[00:51:21] Now he is with the hummus.

[00:51:25] We ate him and drank his blood.

[00:51:27] But it was not like Christian blood.

[00:51:29] There are plenty of very good folks.

[00:51:34] We like to have a little anti-Semitic fun on this podcast.

[00:51:38] There are plenty of good people who live in Israel in my family.

[00:51:41] Yeah, they're called Palestinian.

[00:51:43] All right.

[00:51:45] Your parents always say the podcast.

[00:51:48] You can't just call my parents today.

[00:51:51] Yeah, I call them.

[00:51:52] We spoke for the first time since they found out about.

[00:51:54] Oh, yeah.

[00:51:55] What do they say?

[00:51:56] Honestly, I thought that they would be losing their minds because honestly, my parents

[00:51:59] were right.

[00:52:00] They were like, no one's taking Trump seriously.

[00:52:01] They were going nuts.

[00:52:02] Yeah.

[00:52:03] Right.

[00:52:04] And then they could start saying I'm Trump and it's my fault to get out of like all

[00:52:07] this stuff.

[00:52:08] And I called complete calmness.

[00:52:10] They're so true.

[00:52:11] Really?

[00:52:12] Yeah.

[00:52:13] Because we operate like the time where we're most calm is crisis mode.

[00:52:17] Whatever.

[00:52:18] When you say we, what do you mean?

[00:52:20] I'm talking it's Jesus.

[00:52:21] Yeah.

[00:52:22] When the people in my family particularly like whenever times are good, we're just

[00:52:26] waiting for the next crisis.

[00:52:27] Yeah.

[00:52:28] But whenever there's a crisis, then we're like, yeah, that's the thing is like culturally,

[00:52:31] I feel like the bushears are great.

[00:52:33] And that is an extension of the whole like, well, is it comedy going to be better?

[00:52:37] But I think, and I do think it has more to do with like post 9-11 America.

[00:52:40] You're a big like limp biscuit fan.

[00:52:42] What do you mean?

[00:52:43] Yeah, actually, yeah, actually, yeah, we're going to fucking be honest about it.

[00:52:46] When biscuit is rolling, baby.

[00:52:48] Purely overrated.

[00:52:49] And it became this like under over underrated.

[00:52:52] Sorry.

[00:52:53] Sorry.

[00:52:54] I meant overrated.

[00:52:56] But they fucking, no people, they became this like fun band to shit on because, you know,

[00:53:00] I guess they're, no, they're not.

[00:53:02] Dude, they're bad.

[00:53:03] First of all, rap rock is a genre is dog shit.

[00:53:06] Yes.

[00:53:07] But for them to come out of that, I think no significant others is great out.

[00:53:12] This Nick was really into.

[00:53:13] Most hilarious trolling.

[00:53:14] Nick was really into.

[00:53:15] I'm serious.

[00:53:16] I can pull up Apple music right now.

[00:53:19] I actually listen to significant other maybe five or six times.

[00:53:22] Fucking asshole.

[00:53:24] Nick went to Ozfest 2003 and saw.

[00:53:29] Cone, Lorne is the K M F D M.

[00:53:33] Powerman 5000 fucking Afro man was there.

[00:53:36] Just vertical horizon.

[00:53:38] Pennywise.

[00:53:39] Do you remember that band?

[00:53:40] Yeah.

[00:53:41] Maybe that was Warped Tour.

[00:53:42] They were Warped Tour.

[00:53:43] Yeah.

[00:53:44] I went to HFS now.

[00:53:45] Now rap rock sucks.

[00:53:46] Raging literally raging into machine.

[00:53:47] Cottonmouth King.

[00:53:48] Oh, they were the absolute.

[00:53:50] What about POD?

[00:53:51] They were like Christian.

[00:53:53] Yeah.

[00:53:54] Yeah.

[00:53:55] Yeah.

[00:53:56] That should suck.

[00:53:57] Yeah.

[00:53:58] It's lit.

[00:53:59] POD probably got paid fucking good off that one song.

[00:54:02] That was on every movie trailer about snowboarding.

[00:54:04] What was that song?

[00:54:05] I feel so.

[00:54:06] Well, why?

[00:54:07] Yeah.

[00:54:08] Like every time like just a DZ.

[00:54:10] No.

[00:54:11] That was like in every single movie trailer.

[00:54:12] I saw a homemade music video of that song made by some kid that had like, you know, it

[00:54:16] was seen here before Zemo here.

[00:54:18] Yeah.

[00:54:19] I remember.

[00:54:20] Zemo flipped in his hair and he's wearing a leather jacket, but he had spine a bifida.

[00:54:23] So it was like black and white shots like zooming in and out of him.

[00:54:27] But he's just propped up against a tree.

[00:54:29] Oh, Jesus Christ.

[00:54:31] You know, singing along to this.

[00:54:33] Oh, yeah.

[00:54:34] It's like you're literally not.

[00:54:36] You're spine is leaking out of your bones.

[00:54:41] That song meant a lot to him.

[00:54:43] Yeah.

[00:54:44] And then I could never find it again.

[00:54:45] I wanted to do that.

[00:54:46] You know what's left with him?

[00:54:47] You know what's wrong with him?

[00:54:48] I wanted to go find that video to laugh with that guy.

[00:54:52] You know what song from that air I thought was legit good?

[00:54:56] The fucking Spider-Man song with the lead singer and that girl back.

[00:55:01] Yeah.

[00:55:02] And there's a hero with some evil laughing about all those Superman songs.

[00:55:07] Yeah.

[00:55:08] Oh, yeah.

[00:55:09] I can't stand to fly up.

[00:55:10] If you just suck my dick.

[00:55:11] I'm fucking Superman.

[00:55:12] But I'm fucking Superman.

[00:55:13] I'm Superman.

[00:55:14] I'm Superman.

[00:55:15] You can't benefit me.

[00:55:20] The first one.

[00:55:21] The first one.

[00:55:22] The five or five.

[00:55:23] The one was like the 9-11 worker at Ground Zero theme song.

[00:55:27] They were like, we fucking mowed this song because like I'm like a Superman here being

[00:55:30] in 9-11 and saving people.

[00:55:32] So like, yeah, it really speaks to me.

[00:55:34] Sorry.

[00:55:35] I should have made fun of this.

[00:55:36] Yeah.

[00:55:37] Why are you making fun of first responders?

[00:55:38] Of heroes, dude.

[00:55:39] They're literally the only people we respect on this podcast is the 9-11 first responders.

[00:55:42] But only if they were men and they were from Staten Island.

[00:55:44] Yeah, of course.

[00:55:45] You know, if you're one of these fucking, you're one of these women that came from, you know,

[00:55:51] Connecticut or whatever.

[00:55:52] Ooh, me too.

[00:55:53] I want to help too.

[00:55:54] It's like, yeah, second responders.

[00:55:56] We got many in.

[00:55:57] We got Staten Island fellas.

[00:56:00] Nothing gets me.

[00:56:01] Taking care of these towers.

[00:56:04] Nothing gets me quite as hot as a fucking 9-11 second responder.

[00:56:09] Pieces of shit.

[00:56:10] Oh, fuck.

[00:56:11] You went there on D-Day.

[00:56:13] You take those fucking medals off.

[00:56:15] Whoa, you're hot.

[00:56:16] You're hot, Nick.

[00:56:17] You're getting hot.

[00:56:18] Yeah, sorry.

[00:56:19] I get a little heated.

[00:56:20] I was actually...

[00:56:21] Wouldn't you still fuck me?

[00:56:22] I was actually...

[00:56:23] I was straight and Superman.

[00:56:24] You know, I don't want to steal Valor here, but I'm a Navy SEAL and I was one of the 9-11

[00:56:28] first responders.

[00:56:29] This is a strange way to preface that statement.

[00:56:33] Wait.

[00:56:34] I don't want to get a hundred percent true statement.

[00:56:37] Wait, you were telling me that story about how you ran up to the top floor while the towers

[00:56:43] were sold.

[00:56:44] And the tower in the tower.

[00:56:45] And then you ran back down and you realized you forgot a kid up there.

[00:56:48] I was up there and I was on floor 101.

[00:56:50] Whoa.

[00:56:51] That's right where the plane hit.

[00:56:52] Yeah, yeah.

[00:56:53] And I was going to the water fountain.

[00:56:56] I was sucking water up with my mouth and I was blowing it all over the flames and I could

[00:57:00] feel the building start to collapse.

[00:57:01] So I'd reach up and I put my hand on the ceiling.

[00:57:05] And I held the building up, the top part of the building.

[00:57:09] That makes sense.

[00:57:10] Yeah.

[00:57:11] And for like engineering wise, everyone got out of the building.

[00:57:13] Yeah, yeah.

[00:57:15] And then.

[00:57:16] I'm floor 101.

[00:57:17] Yeah.

[00:57:18] You said like 5,000 people.

[00:57:20] 682 million.

[00:57:21] And rough estimate is what they want.

[00:57:24] That was what was printed on the metal I got from the president.

[00:57:27] I'm with the president.

[00:57:29] Yeah, we went to Melting Pot and then he let me drive my car in the driveway.

[00:57:33] Let me drive his car in the driveway afterwards.

[00:57:36] And this is a guy.

[00:57:41] I got it live about being a 911 versus bonder, but he does it like a four year old.

[00:57:45] Yeah.

[00:57:46] And then me and my friends, we went to laser tag after, but they used actual lasers.

[00:57:49] So we actually killed like four or five kids on the other team, but our team one, we got

[00:57:54] free burritos after because they use actual lasers.

[00:57:57] It's a special laser tag place.

[00:57:59] And then we went bowling.

[00:58:00] My dad noticed the bowling guy.

[00:58:02] So we were allowed to like slide down the bowling alley.

[00:58:06] And then my house actually has a slide in it that goes, we have that money room from

[00:58:10] a doc tales.

[00:58:11] There's actually, yeah, well, my dad's actually an assassin.

[00:58:17] But I, but I, but I, but I, but I, but I, but I, but I, but I, but I, but I, but I,

[00:58:20] okay, folks, while we're winding down first podcast of the Trump era, I think it was

[00:58:26] okay.

[00:58:27] Yeah, hail Trump.

[00:58:29] Matt was like concerned about that last night.

[00:58:31] Yeah, he was like, Chobbo's done.

[00:58:33] Yeah, we're done.

[00:58:34] Yeah.

[00:58:35] We're just going to wait.

[00:58:36] If we, if Trump is the president, we're just going to become the daily show.

[00:58:38] Everyone was going to be mad at us.

[00:58:40] People are already mad at you, dude.

[00:58:42] Yeah.

[00:58:43] Yeah, it's their fault.

[00:58:44] It's choppa's fault.

[00:58:45] Trump won that podcast.

[00:58:46] It's a podcast fault.

[00:58:48] It's a kumia and choppa's fault.

[00:58:51] No one, not, not the fault of the shitty candidate that illegally kept a child pornography server

[00:58:57] in her house.

[00:58:59] That is what she was doing.

[00:59:03] Yeah.

[00:59:04] That's why she loved all those people that were like the Satan thing.

[00:59:06] People who are doing the math.

[00:59:07] Yeah, it's like, why the fuck, and that is a legitimate concern is like the private email

[00:59:11] or whatever.

[00:59:12] But why do you have to introduce this like, it's a tannic, child rape.

[00:59:15] I know.

[00:59:16] Like, do you know what she read a ramavitch is saying?

[00:59:19] It's like, she's a performance.

[00:59:20] Everyone knows she's a performance artist.

[00:59:22] She does weird shit.

[00:59:24] It's not weird that she smeared a bunch of blood on the walls.

[00:59:27] It would be weird if she was having a Tupperware party.

[00:59:29] Right.

[00:59:30] Yeah, that would be stupid.

[00:59:31] That would be bizarre.

[00:59:32] That might sound like code.

[00:59:34] Yeah.

[00:59:35] I'm having a party where we smear shit on the walls.

[00:59:37] And it's like, yeah, that's pretty much par for the court.

[00:59:39] That's performance art.

[00:59:40] That's just what it is.

[00:59:41] Yeah.

[00:59:42] Yeah.

[00:59:43] It's like, you don't think it's not enough for the secretary of state to maybe have fucking

[00:59:46] leaked some emails because she's using a certain, you know what I mean?

[00:59:49] Like, that's bad.

[00:59:50] Well, yeah.

[00:59:51] You'd be surprised how many people in this country believe in ghosts and believe in like

[00:59:54] the devil and believe in that kind of shit.

[00:59:57] I think that shit kind of works.

[00:59:58] There were a bunch of like tweets and stuff that's like, oh hell no, I don't play with

[01:00:02] that devil shit.

[01:00:03] Oh yeah.

[01:00:04] I love both of that bitch.

[01:00:05] I totally think ghosts are real.

[01:00:06] You know how easy it is to scare black people.

[01:00:09] I'm kidding, folks.

[01:00:15] You were doing the voice.

[01:00:16] I responded.

[01:00:17] Well, I was.

[01:00:18] Oh, fuck.

[01:00:19] It was awful.

[01:00:20] Well, everyone, this is probably one of the last come towns before we get.

[01:00:27] We just changed the name to Trump.

[01:00:28] Yeah.

[01:00:29] We're gonna have Kurt Metzger on.

[01:00:30] I think well, actually me and stop are gonna do a special road show over the premium episode

[01:00:34] this month.

[01:00:35] I mean, I'm got a little bit of business to take care of.

[01:00:37] What the hunt?

[01:00:38] Oh, yeah, we got a talk.

[01:00:40] Yeah, no, we got shit we got to do.

[01:00:42] All right, we got a guy we got to see about a thing.

[01:00:44] If you know what I mean, folks, me and Stava transport weapons down the eastern seaboard.

[01:00:53] And I'm being 100% serious about that.

[01:00:55] So if you're excited about the upcoming revolution, you want to buy a gun.

[01:01:00] I got a three D printer that can print low.

[01:01:05] Or receivers for both AK-47s and fully automatic M16s.

[01:01:11] And pocket pussy.

[01:01:12] And pocket pussy.

[01:01:13] I tried doing that as a bit when those came out.

[01:01:16] Yeah, obviously that's the first thing you think to me.

[01:01:18] Well, no, the bit I was doing is like they say they got these 3D printers now.

[01:01:21] They can print pocket pussies and guns.

[01:01:25] And it's like, well, if you print a gun, why the fuck would you print that you just get

[01:01:28] a real pussy.

[01:01:30] Yeah.

[01:01:31] I print the pocket pussy.

[01:01:33] That's a good bit about it.

[01:01:35] I did that at UCB East and that did not go over well.

[01:01:40] Didn't do so hot.

[01:01:44] All right.

[01:01:45] Well, thank you for listening, everyone.

[01:01:46] Is it how we doing on time, boys?

[01:01:47] Yeah, we're done.

[01:01:48] Hail Trump.

[01:01:49] Hail Satan.

[01:01:50] Hail Satan.

[01:01:51] This is the number one punk rock podcast, the official Don and Trump podcast, the official

[01:01:55] Martin Screlli podcast.

[01:01:57] It's officially sponsored by NPR.

[01:02:00] We write copyright, copyright trademark, doing business and corporate LLC.

[01:02:05] Big time international business.

[01:02:08] Big time international business.

[01:02:09] I remember going to the LLC.

[01:02:11] It's like, yeah, and I want dollar signs through the LLC.

[01:02:15] We go, it has to just be LLC.

[01:02:19] Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, not but dollar signs.

[01:02:23] Dollar signs, though.

[01:02:24] Fuck.

[01:02:25] All right.

[01:02:26] Well, good night, folks.

[01:02:27] Right.